A Common Whore VVith all these Graces Grac'd: Shee's very honest, beautifull and chaste.

Written by IOHN TAYLOR.

AT LONDON: Printed for Henry Gosson, and are to be fould in Pannier-Alley. 1622.

To no matter who.

Lord, Maister, Good­man, Gaffer, or Knaue, Lady, Mistresse, Good­wife, Gammer, or Whore, Readers.

I Would not haue you to take me for a Bawde or a Pander, for that I send a Whore amongst you; for though it be my pleasure to call her so, yet you in the perusing of her, and conuersing with her; shall finde her honester then some of your Wiues or Mothers: indeede shee hath no great Kindred to boast of, for my poore braine like Ioue was the fa­ther and mother that begat and bare her like a new Pall as And my Pen the Midwife that first wrap'd her inragged verses in stead of cloutes, where the Printer hath vs'd her as he would be loth to be vs'd himselfe, for he hath publish'd and proclaim'd all her faults to the view of the world, and yet I know the poore Whores paine is not past, for now she is to be examin'd a thousand wayes, & tortur'd vpon [Page]the Rack of censure, and amongst all that shal view and handle her, the hot whoremaister will deale most discourteously with her, for when he perceiues her honesty too hard for his Knauery, he will in an­ger, with three tushes, foure pishes, fiue mewes, six wry mouthes, and seuen s [...]uruy faces, teare her and pull her worse then the Rusticall Rabblement did vse to vse cōmon whores on former Shroue. Tuesdayes. But all's one, let him doe his worst, she is confidently arm'd with Innocencie: and the threates or danger of the bad, cannot affright her but that she will attempt to recreate the good. In a word, all that is amisse in her, I pray you impute to my bad Tutorship, and her owne frailety; all that I hope of her, is, that she is a merry Whore, full of good words: A kinde Whore to bee had for money or loue any where; a true Whore and [...] constant, for shee will neuer forsake any man that will keepe her: and (by reason shee is an honest Whore) she is a poore Whore, and hath neither money nor Sprats; so take my Whore amongst yon as she is.

Now after this, I'le be exceeding briefe
To send another Pamphlet call'd a Thiefe;
The Hue and Cry is out, and I protest,
Thought he scape hanging, yet he shall be prest.
IOHN TAYLOR.

A WHORE.

MY Booke, an honest Whore, I fitly call,
Because it treats of whores in generall:
Then though this Pamphlet I doe name a whore
Let no man shun her company therefore,
For if ten thousand with her lodge and lye,
No reputation they shall lose thereby.
No cost
A cheaps Whore.
for dyet she at all requires,
No charge for change of changeable Attires,
No Coaches, or Carroaches she doth craue,
No base attendance of a Pand'ring Knaue,
Persumes and Paintings, she abhorres and hates,
Nor doth she borrow haire from others pates.
And this much more Ile boldly say for her,
Who so redeemes her from the Stationer
With whom she as a Slaue is kept in hold,
And at his pleasure daily bought and sold)
I say, that man that doth her ransome pay,
She will requite his kindnesse euery way,
Her Inside with such Treasurie is stor'd,
As may become the Pocket of a Lord,
All, from the Cottage, to the Castle high,
From Pallatines vnto the Peasantry,
(If ther'le permit their wisedomes Rule their will)
May keepe this Whore, and yet be honest still.
Yet is she
A strange Whore, common and yet honest.
Common, vnto all that craue her,
For sixe pence honest man or Knaue may haucher,
To be both turn'd and tost, she free affords,
And (like a prating Whore) she's full of words,
But all her talke is to no other end,
Then to teach Whoremaisters and Whores to mend.
She in plaind termes vnto the world doth tell,
Whores are the Hackneyes which men ride to hell,
And by Comparisons she truly makes
A Whore worse then a common Shore, or Iakes.
A Succubus, a damned sinke of sinne,
A Mire, where worse then Swine doe wallow in,
And with a Whore (although thus plaine she be)
She shewes a Whoremonger as bad as she.
And though I barren am of Elloquence,
Nor euer vnderstood my Accidence:
Yet though I haue no learning to my share,
A Whore to broken Lattin I'le compare;
First, if her minde on Whoring she doth fix,
She's all compact of mirth, all Meretrix,
And with small teaching she will soone decline
Mulier into the Gender Masculine.
By her Attire, of which sex she should be,
She seemes the doubtfull Gender vnto me,
To either side her habit seemes to leane,
And may be taken for the Epicene.
Vnto the Newter I compare her can,
For she's for thee, or me, or any man.
In her Declousions she so farre will goe,
As to the common of two, three, or moe.
And come to horum harum Whorum, then
She proues a great proficient amongst men.
Then after she hath learn'd these Lessons right,
She forward goes vnto hoc leue light,
She paints out pulcher, ayded by her glasse,
She's neither bonus, or yet bonitas.
Homo for all men, is a common name,
And she for all men is a common shame.
Not lapis singularly, her can please,
She loues the plurall number lapides.
To Conster plainely she is seldome curlous,
The two hard words of durus, and of durius,
Though she's not past the Whip, she's past the Rods,
And knowes to ioyne her qui'es, her quea's, & quods,
The Actiue from the Passiue she'le deriue,
Her Mood cōmmaunds like the Imparatiue;
She knowes no Concords, yet to all men thus,
She faine would be Iucundas omnibut;
Clam is the Cloake, that couers her offence,
Her goodnes all is in the Future tense,
She's facile fieri, (quickly wonne)
Or Const'ring truly, Easie to be done.
Parui ducitur probitas, sets forth
Her honesty is rekon'd little worth.
And he shall finde, that takes her for his choyce;
An Interiection, or Imperfect voyce,
Among the rules of Gender, she by heart,
Can without missing daily say her part.
The first among them all she liketh best,
Propria quae Maribus, and there she'le rest.
Thus may a Whore be made (by this Construction)
Vnto the Grammar Rules an Introduction,
But yet if Learning might be gotten so,
Few to the Vniuersities would goe.
And all degrees, tagge ragge, and old and young,
Would be well grounded in the Latine tongue:
Whil'st many learn'd men would be forc'd to seeke
Their liuings from the Hebrew and the Greeke.
For mine owne part I dare to sweare and vow
I ne're vs'd Accidence so much as now,
Nor all these Latine words here enterlac'd,
I doe not know if they with sense are plac'd,
I in the Booke did finde them, and conclude
At randon to a Whore I them allude.
But leauing Latine, eu'ry Trading Wench
Hath much more vnderstanding of the French.
If she hath learn'd great P, O Perse O,
She'le quickly know De morbo Gallico.
If in these Rudiments she well doth enter,
With any man she neuer feares to venter:
She's Impudently arm'd, and shamelesse to,
And neuer dreads what man to her can do,
Her neather part to stake she'le often lay
To keepe her vpper part in fashion, gay,
She blushes not to haue her Trade well know̄ne,
Which is, she liues by vsing of her owne.
Her shop, her ware, her fame, her shame, her game,
'Tis all her owne, which none from her can claime.
And if she be halfe mad, and Curse and sweare,
And fight, and bite, and scratch, and domineere:
Yet still she proues her patience to be such,
'Midst all these passions she will beare too much.
She is not Couetous for any thing,
For what she hath, men doe vnto her bring,
(Her Temp'rance is a vertue of much honour)
And all her Commings in, are put vpon her.
She's generall, she's free, she's liberall
Of hand and purse, she's open vnto all,
Shee is no miserable hidebound wretch,
To please her friend at any time shee'le stretch,
At once she can speake true, and lye, or either,
And is at home, abroad, and altogether.
She's nimbler then a Tumbler, as I thinke
Layes downe, and takes vp, whilst a man can winke.
And though she seeme vnmeasur'd in her pleasure,
'Tis otherwayes, a Yard's her onely measure.
But as most Whores are vicious in their fames,
So many of them haue most Vertuous names,
Though bad they be, they will not bate an Ace
To be cald Prudence, Temp'rance, Faith, or Grace,
Or Mercy, Charity, or many more,
Good names (too good to giue to any Whore)
Much from the Popes of Rome they doe not swerue,
For they haue Names which they doe ill deserue,
Onely betwixt them heere's the difference on't,
A Whore receiues her Name first at the Font.
The Roman Bishop takes a larger scope,
For he doth Change his name, when hee's a Pope.
As, if he were a Persecuting Saul,
If he please hee'l be call'd a Preaching Paul.
Is his name Swinesnowt, he can change the Case,
And swap away that Name for Boniface.
If he be most vngodly, and enuious,
Yet if he please, he will be called Pious.
Be he by Nature to all mischiefe bent,
He may and will be called Innocent,
And be he ne're so doggedly inclinde,
Hee'le be nam'd Vrbane, if it be his minde.
If he be much more fearefull then a Sheepe,
The Name of Lee he may haue and keepe.
And though he be vnmercifull yet still,
He may be called Clement if he will.
Thus Popes may haue good names, though bad they bet
And so may Whores though different in degree.
The Annagram of WHORE'S her mortall foe,
Deuided into two wordes, 'tis HER WO.
And seriously (to lay all Iesting by)
A Whore is Her owne Wo, and misery.
For though she haue all pleasures at the full,
Much more then Thaies, that proud Corinthian Trull
Who suffered none but Kings and Potentates
To haue their pleasures, at Excessiue rates,
Yet all that Deare bought Lechery would be
The greater brand of lasting Infamy,
And though her Carrion Corps, rich clad, high [...]d,
(Halfe rotten liuing, and all rotten Dead)
Who with her hellish Courage, stout and hot,
Abid the brunt of many a prickshaft shot,
Yet being dead, and doth Consumed lye,
Her euerlasting shame shall neuer dye:
Ixion (in his armes) he did suppose
That he the Goddesse Iuno did inclose:
But in the end his franticke error show'd,
That all which he Embrac'd was but a Cloud.
So whosoeuer doe their Lust embrace,
In stead of Loue are clouded with disgrace.
The Godlesse Goddesse Venus, honour'd farre,
For Conqu'ring of the Conqu'ring God of Warre,
To hide their shame they no defence could get,
When limping Vulcan tooke them in a net,
And being past shame, with that foule offence,
Shee arm'd herselfe with shamelesse Impudence,
And with vngodly articles would proue,
That foule Concupiscence and Lust is Loue.
For which each baudy Knaue, and filthy Whore,
Heere I haue for some 60. lines follo­wed the re­port of Cor­neius Agrip­pa, in his Vanity of sci­caces.
Her deuillish Diety doe still adore.
I haue read Histories that doth Repeat
Whores were of olde in estimation Great,
Pandemus King of Corinth, he Erected
(That he from Perses power might be protected)
A Temple vnto Venus, as some say,
Where Whares might for his safety safely pray.
And some in Ephesus, did Temples reare,
In whom the Paphean Queene adored were,
Where they that were the wickedst Whores of all,
Were the chiefe Priests in robes Pontificall.
And in the Ile of Paphes, 'twas the vse
Maydes got their Dowries, by their Corps abuse,
But if that order were allowed heere,
So many would not Portions want I feare.
The Art of Bawd'ry was in such respect
Amongst th' Egiptians, that they did erect
An Altar to Priapus, and their guise
VVas, that their Priests on it did Sacrifice.
VVise Aristotle, was in wit so poore,
He Sacrific'd to Hermia, his whore.
Great Iulius Caesar, was so free and Common,
And cald a Husband vnto euery woman.
Procullus Emperour, (the Story sayes)
Deslowr'd one hundred Maydes
Sarmatian Maydes.
in Fifteene dayes.
If all be true that Poets vse to write,
Hercules lay with Fifty in one night.
When Heliogabilus, Romes Scepter sway'd,
And all the world his lawlesse Lawes obay'd:
He in his Court did cause a Stewes be made,
Whereas Cum priuilegio, Whores did trade.
H'inuited Two and twenty of his friends,
And kindly to each one a Whore he lends.
To set Whores free, that then in bondage lay,
A mighty Masse of money he did pay,
30. pound waight a peece.
He (in one day) gaue to each whore in Rome
A Duckat, (a large and ill bestowed summe.)
He made Orations vnto Whores, and said
They were his Soldiers, his Defence and ayde,
And in his speech he shew'd his wit s'acute,
Of sundry formes of Bawd'ry to dispute.
And after giuing vnto euery Whore,
For list'ning to his tale three Duckats more,
With Pardon vnto all, and Liberty
That would be Whores within his Monarchy.
And yearely pensions, he freely gaue,
To keepe a Regiment of Whores, most braue.
And oft he had (when hee in Progresse went)
Of Whores, Bawdes, Pandeas, such a Rabblement
Sixe hundred Waggons, History reports,
Attended onely on these braue Consorts.
This was a Royall Whoremaster indeed,
A speciall
Or rather malefastor
Benefactor at their need,
But now since Heliogabilus deceast,
I thinke the world with Whores is so increast,
That if it had an Emperour as mad,
He might haue twice so many as he had.
For by experience we see euery day
That bad thinges doe increase, good things decay.
And vertue (with much care) from vertue breeds,
Vice freely springs from vice like stincking weeds.
Sardanapalus King of Babilon,
Was to his whores such a Companion,
That he in their Attire did Sowe and sing,
(An exercise vnfitting for a King)
This feruent Lust, (which some call ardent Ioue)
Did cause the Bastard
Hercuier.
of the mighty Ioue
To please his Iole, he tooke a Wheele
And (laying by his Club) did Spin and Reele.
Great loue himselfe, could not this snare escape,
Lust led him on to many a shamelesse Rape.
Poore Hebe, Hele,
Jupiter transformd himselfe to all these shapes to attaine his desrie.
Danue, and Europa,
Alemena, Io, Semele, and Leada,
Antiopa, Asterie, Ganimede,
These and a number more his fancy fed.
To compasse which his shifts were manifold
T'a Bull, a Ram, a Swan, a showre of Golde,
To dreadfull Thunder, and consuming Fire,
And all to quench his inward flames desire.
Apollo turn'd faire Daph [...] into
The Bay tree or Lawrell.
Bay,
Because she from his Lust did flye away.
He lou'd his Hiacinct, and his Coronis,
As feruently as Venus lou'd Adonis,
So much he from his Godhead did de [...]ne,
That for a Wench he kept Adme [...]s Kine.
And many other Gods haue gone aftray,
If all be true which Ouids Booke doth say.
Thus to fulfill their Lusts, and win their Truls,
We see that these vngodly Gods were Guls.
The mighty Captaine
Achilles, who was flaine (be­fotted to his Death) for the loue of Polixena.
of the Mermidous
Being Captiu'd to these base passions,
Met an vntimely vnexpected slaughter
For faire Polixena, King Priams Daughter.
Lucretia's Rape, was Tarquins ouerthrowe,
(Shame often payes the debt that sinne doth owe)
VVhot Philomela lost, and Tereus wonne
It causde the lustfull Father
Tereus K. of Thrace, care of his own Son I­tis made in­to py-meat by his wife Frogne.
eate his Sonne.
In this vice Nero tooke such beastly ioy,
He married was to Sporus, a young Boy,
And P [...]riander,
* A Tyrant Prince in Corinth.
was with Lust so led,
He with Mellissa lay, when she was Dead.
Pigmalion,
Plutarte.
with an Image made of Stone,
Did Loue and lodge; (I'le rather lye alone.)
Aristophanes,
Appius murthered himself, be­cause Ʋir­ginias father had slaine her, to free her frō his Lust.
joyn'd in Loue would be
To a shee Asse, but what an Asse was he.
A Roman Appius did in Iayle abide
For Loue of faire Virginia, where he dyde.
Our second Henry,
K Henry the 2. King of England.
Aged, Childish, fond,
On the faire feature of faire Rosamond:
That it rais'd most vnnaturall hatefull strife
Betwixt himselfe, his Children,
At Wood­stocke.
and his wife.
The end of which was, that the jealious Queene
Did poyson
Mrs. Shore.
Rosamond in furious spleene.
The fourth King Edward lower did discend.
He to a Goldsmiths wife
She was I [...] ­cobs daugh­ter, whose Rape was accursedly reuenged by hir bre­theren, Si­meon & Leu [...], Genesi [...].
his loue did bend.
This sugred sinne hath bin so generall,
That it hath made the strongest Champions fall.
[...]r Si [...]em rauisht
2. Sam. 12.
Dina, for which deed,
[...] number of the Sichemites did bleed,
[...]d Sampson, in the prime of manly strength
[...] Dallila, was ouercome at length
[...]ng
2. Sam. 13.
Dauid frayly fell, and felt the paine,
[...]d with much sorrow, was restor'd againe,
[...]ough Saul his foe he no way would offend,
[...] this sinne made him kill his loyall friend.
[...] much with Thamar, Incest did commit,
[...]d Absolon depriu'd his Life for it.
[...]d Sal [...] allow'd most Royall meanes,
[...] keepe 3. hundred Queenes, 7. hundred Queanes,
[...] whose meanes to Idolaty he fell
[...] most as lowe as to the Gates of Hell.
At last repeating, he makes declaration,
That all was vanity, and spirits vexation.
Aboundance of Examples men may finde,
Of Kings and Princes to this vice inclin'd,
Which is no way for meaner men to goe,
Because their betters oft haue wandred so,
For they were plagu'd of God, and so shall wee
Much more, if of their sinne we partners bee.
To shew what Women haue bin plunged in
The bottomlesse Abisse of this sweet sinne:
There are example of them infinite,
Which I ne're meane to reade, much lesse to write.
To please the Reader though I'le set downe some,
As they vnto my memory doe come.
Flora a Whore in Rome, great wealth did win,
By her deare trading and her Commings in,
Which wealth she freely gaue when she did dye
Vnto the Roman people generally,
For which they all (to shew their thankes vnto h [...]
Made her a Goddesse, and did Reuerence doe her
And Laies of Corinth, ask'd Demosthenes
One hundred Crownes for one nights busines,
For which a crew of Whores did set vpon her,
A Whore she was, and Whores to death did stone
There was a famous Whore
Shee was seruant to Exanthus, & fellow to E­sope the Fa­bulist.
Rhodope nam'd
Who for her gaine, at such high price she gam'd,
That she (most liberall) did the Charges beare,
A stately high Piramides to Reare.
Great Iulius Caesar, was much ouerseene
With Cleopatra the Aegiptian Queene:
And after she insnar'd Marke Anthony,
For which they both by their owne hands did dye.
Semiramis plaid the inhumane Trull,
Queene of Babylon, slaine by her sonne, whom she would haue had to haue layne with her.
And was enamour'd with a beastly Bull:
So did
Pasipha, wife to Minos king of Creete.
Pasipha, but me thinkes 'tis strange,
That Queenes so far from womenhood should range.
Mirha ( Adonis mother) caus'd her father
The flow'r of her virginity to gather.
If wise Vlysses, had not well beene arm'd,
Inchanting Circes, had his honour charm'd,
When lustfull Paris stole the lustfull Punke
Faire Hellen, had the Ship that bore them sunke,
Then thirty Kings in peace at home had staide,
Nor Troy or Troians in their ruines laide,
Faire Messalina, a most royall Whore,
(Wife vnto Claudins the Emperour)
The sports of Venus in the Stewes did play,
Messalina and Faustins two Em­presses.
Sometimes full fiue and twenty times a day.
Marcus Aurelius did faire Faustine wed,
And she with Whoring did ad-horne his head.
And many Princes and great Potentates,
With Vulcans crest haue arm'd their noble pates:
This to the poorest Cuckold seemes a bliss,
That he with mighty Monarchs sharer is,
That though to be Cornuted be a griefe,
Yet to haue such braue partners, is reliefe.
These Whores & Whoremaisters, which I haue nam'd,
And thousands more (in Histories defam'd)
With partiall selfe-opinion did approue,
Their sensuality and lust was Loue.
When as the ods is more then day from night,
Or fire from water, blacke from purest white.
The one with God, one with the Deuill doth dwell,
Loue comes frō heauen, and lust doth spring frō hell.
But the old Prouerb, ne're will be forgot,
A Leachers loue is (like Sir Reuerence) hot.
And on the suddaine cold as any stone,
For when the lust is past, the loue is gone.
But loue is such a blessing from on hie,
Whose zealous feruency can neuer dye,
It out-liues life, and the ascending flame
Mounis to the God of Loue, from whence it came.
Lust made
Genesis.
Seths sonnes, with fornication vaine,
Ioyne with the daughters of accursed Caine.
And the world suff'red, for their fornication
Depopulation, by the inundation.
And twenty and foure thousand Israelites
Dyde for this sinne amongst the
Numbers.
Midianites.
For the not punishing this fact (almost)
The Tribe of
Iudge. 19.20. and 21. cha. 65000. were slaine of the Israe­lines, prod­there re­mained of the Benia­mites only 600.
Beniami [...] were slaine and lost.
May this be call'd loue, then call vertue vice,
And euery bawdy house, a Paradice.
If lust were loue, it would not like a Wolfe,
Drowne Louers hearts in Desperations Gulfe,
A Theban,
For Anti­gena the daughter of Oedi us and Iecasla.
Hemon, himselfe madly kill'd,
On his to deere deeres Tombe his heart blood spild
For Pham (a poore Watermans sweet sake)
Faire Saphe from a rocke, her
The more foole shee, though she were a Poe­cesse.
neck she brake.
Pheadra, for her Hippollitus, they say,
Did hang her selfe, and make a Holy-day.
And
Shee was daughter to Lycurgus K. of Thrace.
Phillis for
Sonne to Theseus.
Demophoon did as much,
I'le neuer loue, if Loues effects be such.
To quench the Carthaginian
D [...]co. for Eneac, bur­ned her selfe.
Queenes desire,
She burnt her selfe vpon a pile of fire;
If either Piramus, or Thisby had
Not beene starke fooles, or else exceeding mad,
The doting, idle misconceiuing Elues,
So desperately, had ne're fore-done themselues.
Thus all the difference betwixt loue and lust,
Is, one is iust, the other is vniust,
Search but in Histories, and men may finde
Examples beyond numb'ring, of this kinde,
How of both Sexes, each estate, and sort
Of people; from the Cottage to the Court,
Haue madly ran this course som hang'd, som drownd,
Burnt, staru'd, & stabd thēselues with many a wound,
Or pin'd away like Coxcombs, euer crauing
To haue the thing, that's neuer worth the hauing.
In Antwerp, many filthy Whores I saw,
That for their Trading were allowde by Law.
And I in Prague did see a streete of Whores,
An English mile in length, who at their dores,
Did stand and ply (rich clad, and painted rare)
More hard then euer I plyde for a fare.
Th' Italian Stewes (to make the Pope good cheere)
Payd twenty thousand Duckets in a
Almost euery yere, a ducket is more then, 8. shillings, which sum is 8000. l.
yeeee.
Besides, they giue a Priest (t'amend his fee)
The profit of a Whore, or two or three,
Me thinkes it must be bad Diuinity,
That with the Stewes hath such affinity,
'Tis a mad doctrine Leachery shall pay
A Church-mans stipend, that should preach & pray
And in those Stewes, where women are so common
In entertaining all, refusing no man,
Whereas a father with a Whore may lye,
Which done, his sonne his place may hap supply,
And then an Vnckle, or a brother may
Succeed each other in that damned play.
For no propinquity, or no degree
Of Kin, that haunt there, that can sweare th'are free
From this commixion, and which is worst,
A Whore may haue a Bastard, borne and nurst,
And growne a woman, and to this Trade set her,
May be a Whore to him that did beget her.
Or to her brothers, or to all her Kin,
She may be prostituted in this sin.
And therefore to conclude this point, I muse
That Christian Common-wealthes allow a Stues;
I thinke that Thieues as well allow'd should be,
As Whores and Whore maisters should thus be free.
They from the heathen doe examples bring,
That Whoring, is a rare commodious thing,
There was an ancient vse in Babylon,
When as a womans stock was spent and gone,
Her liuing it was lawfull then to get,
Her carkasse out to Liuerie to let.
And Venus did allow the Cyprian Dames,
To get their liuings by their bodies shames,
Lycurgus did a Law in Sparta make,
That all men might their Barren wiues forsake:
And by the same Law it ordained was,
Wiues might vnable husbands turne to grals.
And the wise Solon the Athenian,
Allow'd Whores to be free for any man.
And though these things the Pagan people did,
Yet Christian gouernments these things forbid,
But there's no Common-wealth maintaines the same,
But where the
Not in any place but where Romes su­premacy is allowed.
Pope is Landlord of the game.
The Stewes in England bore a beastly sway,
Till the eight
Anno Regni 37.
Henry banish'd them away,
And since those cōmon whores were quite put down,
A damned crew of priuate whores are growne,
So that the deuill will be doing still,
Either with publique or with priuate ill.
Thus much for whoring I must say agen,
It hath produced many valiant men:
Braue Bastards, haue beene famous Conquerours,
And some great Lords, and Kings, and Emperours.
As Hereules Ioues mighty Bastard sonne,
And
So sayes Cornelius Agrippa, but I finde it other­waies in Quintus Curtius.
Alexander King of Macedon:
Clodouee King of Fraunce, from Bastardy,
And William Conquerour, from Normandy,
These and a number more I could recite,
Besides the vnknowne number's infinite.
And sure that wretched man that married is
Vnto a wife dispos'd to this amiss,
Is mad to wrong himselfe at all thereby,
With heart griefe and tormenting iealousie.
If he hath cause for't, let him then forsake her,
And pray God mend her, or the deuill take her:
If he hath no cause to be iealous then,
He's worthy to be made the scorne of men,
Thus cause or no cause, man himselfe should arme,
That iealousie should neuer doe him harme.
The Nicholaitanes, to auoyd the paine
Of iealousie, amongst them did ordaine,
That all their married wiues, of each degree,
To euery one a common Whore should be.
And so amongst them one could hardly finde,
A Cuckold that did beare a iealous minde.
When I but thinke what Sciences, and Arts,
What men and women, full of ex'lent parts,
Forget their functions, lay their vertues by,
And waite and liue, and thriue by Leacherie.
A Poets Art, all other Arts excell,
If he hath skill and grace to vse it well:
Yet many times 'tis vs'd most base and vile,
When it descends vnto a bawdy stile,
To turne good humane studies, and diuine,
Into most beastly lines, like Aretine;
To seeke to merrit euer-liuing Bayes,
For sordid stuffe (like Ouids lustfull Layes.)
With false bewitching verses to entice
Fraile creatures from faire vertue to foule vice,
Whose flatt'ry makes a whore to seeme a Saint,
That stinkes like carrion, with her pox and paint.
Comparing her (with false and odious lies)
To all that's in or vnderneath the skies.
Her eyes to Sunnes, that doth the Sunne Ecclips,
Her cheekes are Roses, (Rubies are her lips)
Her white and red Carnation mixt with snow,
Her teeth to orientall pearle, a Rowe,
Her voyce like Musick of the heau'nly Spheares,
Her haire like thrice refined golden Wires,
Her breath more sweet then Arromatick drugs,
Like Mownts of Allablaster are her drugs,
Her Bracilets, Rings, her Scarfe her Fan, her Chaine,
Are subiects to inspire a Poets braine:
But aboue all her Smock most praise doth win,
For 'tis the Curtaine next vnto her skin,
Her loose Gowne, for her looser body fit,
Shall be adored with a flash of wit,
And from the Chin-clowt, to the lowly Slipper,
In Helliconian streames his praise shall dipher.
I leaue vnnam'd what is affected best,
As 'tis most fit, for it maintaines the rest,
Her thighes, her knees, her legs, her feete, and all,
From top to toe are supernaturall.
Her Iuory hands, with saphire veines inlayde,
VVhich cannot be by mortall Pen displayde.
Her smile makes cold December Sommer like,
Her frowne, hot Iune with shiuering Frost can strike,
And life and death doth in her lookes abide,
Or many Knaues and Fooles that said so lyde.
Her Shapperoones, her Perriwigs and Tires,
Are Reliques, which this flatt'ry much admires,
Rebatoes, Maske, her Busk and Busk-point to,
Are things to which mad men must homage doe.
Her Verdingale, her Garters, Shooes and Roses,
Her Girdle that her wastfull waste incloses.
Not one of these but's honour'd with a Sonnet,
If the said Poet be but set vpon it.
Another seekes to winne his Wenches will,
With oyly Oratories smooting skill:

As thus.

MOst inestimable Magazin of Beauty, r [...] Maister-piece of Nature, Perfections won­der, and Loues Quintessence, in whom the po [...] and maiestie of Iuno, the feature of Cithere the wisedome of Ioues Braine-bred Pallas. Girle, [...] chastity of Diana, and the constancie of Luc [...] ­cia, haue their domesticall habitation, who w [...] the Goddesses are deifide, with the Graces gra­ced, with the Vertues stellifide, with the Mus [...] honourd, and with the senses admired: vouchsa [...] dread Empresse of my Affections, to pardon [...] intrusiue boldnesse of my vntun'd tongue (which was neuer tipt with the Courtly Glosse of Adula­tion) who being the Ambassadour of my heart doth prostrate my selfe and my best seruices to [...] disposed of at your great commaunds, and as the Refulgent beames of Titan makes purity of obscu­rity, so one glance or glimpse of the tranflucen [...] of your eyes sunne dazeling corruscancie, wi [...] exile all the clowdy vapours of heart-tormen­ting moody mellancholly, that like an vsurpi [...] [Page]Tyrant hath Captiuated your humble suppliant, thus feruently to Implore your Clemency.

Heere's a sweete deale of scimble scamble stuffe,
To please my Lady Wagtayle, (marry muffe)
Gep with the Grinkcomes, (but I speake too late)
This kinde of flatt'ry, makes a Whore take state,
Crinkcomes is an Vtopi­an worde, which is in English a P. at Paris.
Growes pocky proud, & in such port doth beare her,
That such poore scabs as I, must not come neare her.
Thus may she liue, (much honour'd for her Crimes)
And haue the Poxe some twelue or 13. times,
And shee may be so bountifull agen,
To sell those Poxe to three or fourescore men.
And thus the Surgeons may get more by farre
By Whores and Peace, then by the Sword and warre.
And thus a Whore (if men consider of it)
[...]an encreasing gainefull peece of profit.
[...]ut of all Whores, that I haue nam'd before,
There's none so Cunning as the Citty Whore,
[...]hee hath so many seuerall sorts of Bawdes,
To cloake and couer her deceipts and fraudes,
That sure the Deuill cannot more deuise
Then she, to blinde her horned Husbands eyes.
The offers Purles to sell, and fine Bone-lace,
And whispers that her Friend's in such a place:
[...] second offers Starch, and tels her how
[...]er sweet-heart tarries for her at the Plowe,
A third sels Wafers, and a fourth hath Pins,
And with these tricks these Bawdes admittance wins.
That had her Husband Argos eyes, yet he
By these deceiuers should deceiued be,
If all these fayle, a Begger woman may,
A sweet Loue letter to her hands conuay.
Or a neate Laundresse, or a Hearbwife can,
Carry a sleeuelesse message now and than,
Or if this fayle, her teeth may Ake (forsooth)
And then the Barbar must come drawe a Tooth.
Or else she may be sicke (vpon Condition)
That such a Doctor may be her Physition,
He feeles her pulses, and applies his trade
With Potions which th' Apothecary made,
All's one for that, her health she quickly gaines,
Her Husband payes the Doctor for his paines.
But of all Bawdes, Golde is the Bawde indeed,
It seldome speakes but it is sure to speed:
It can blinde Watches, open bolts and lockes,
Breake walles of Stone, as hard as Marble rockes:
Make Iron barres giue way, and Gates flye ope,
Giues Lust the reynes to run with boundlesse see
Kills Iealousie, appeases Riuals, and
Doth what the owners will or can Command,
And last of all it stops the biting iawes
Of the iust rigorous, and seuerest Lawes.
I therefore say, he that hath Golden pelfe,
Hath a good Bawde, if so he please himselfe,
Those that hath Gold, can want no Bawds or Que [...]
Except they vse a meane, to guide their meanes.
To end this point, this consequence Ile graunt,
Those that haue Golden Bawds, no Whores can w [...]
And though the mighty power of Golde be such,
A seraping miserable father, that cares not how he get Golde to leaue it to a Whore­master his Son, is his Sons proui­dent Bawd.
Yet Siluer (many times) can doe as much:
Thus euery wealthy Whoremaster may beare
His Bawde in's purse, or pocket any where.
For mine owne part, I liue not in such want,
But that I eate and sleepe, though Coyne be scant:
And cause I want the Bawde I nam'd before,
By Consequence I needs must want the Whore.
And wanting of them both, I hope to be
From Gowtes, Pox, and extortion euer free.
But as there's wondrous difference in mens meate,
So is the ods of Whores exceeding great:
Some Rampant, & some Couchant, and some Passant,
Some Guardant & some Dormant, & some Cressant,
Some Pendant, some (a Pox on't) but the best on't,
A priuate Whore, trades safely, there's the Iest on't.
Besides, as Whores are of a seuerall cut,
So fitting Titles on them still are put:
[...]or if a Princes loue to her decline,
[...]or manners sake shee's call'd a Concubine:
[...]a great Lord, or Knight affect a Whore,
She must be tearm'd his Honours Paramore,
The rich Gull Gallant call's her Deare and Loue,
Ducke, Lambe, Squall, Sweethart, Cony, and his Doue:
[...]pretty Wench she's with the Countrey-man,
And a Kinde Sister with the Puritane,
[...]e's a Priests Lemman, and a Tinkers Pad.
[...] Dell, or Doxy (though the names be bad)
And amongst Soldiers this sweet peece of Vice
[...] counted for a Captaines Cockatrice.
But the mad Rascall, when he's fiue parts drunke,
Cals her his Drah, his Queane, his syll, or Punke:
And in his fury 'gins to Rayle and Rore,
Then with full mouth, he truely cals her Whore,
And so I leaue her, to her hot desires,
'Mongst Pimps and Panders, and base Aplesquire
To mend or end, when Age or Pox will make her
Detested, and Whoremasters all forsake her.

A Comparison betwixt a Whore and a Booke.

ME thinkes I heare some Cauillers obiect
That 'tis a Name absurd and indirect,
To giue a Booke the Title of a Whore,
When sure I thinke no Name befits it more.
For like a Whore by day light, or by Candle,
'Tis euer free for euery Knaue to handle:
And as a new Whore is belou'd and sought,
So is a new Booke in request and bought,
VVhen Whores waxe old & stale, they're out of [...]
Olde Pamphlets are most subiect to such fate.
As Whores haue Panders, to emblaze their worth,
So these haue Stationers to set them forth.
And as an olde Whore may be painted new
VVith borrowed Beauty, faire vnto the view,
VVhereby she for a fine fresh whore may passe,
Yet is she but the Rotten whore she was.
So Stationers, their olde cast Bookes can grace,
And by new Titles paint a fresh their face,
VVhereby for Currant they are past away,
As if they had come forth but yesterday.
A Booke is Dedicated, now and than
To some great worthy, or vnworthy man:
Yet for all that 'tis common vnto me,
[...] thee, or he, or all estates that be,
And so a man may haue a Whore (forsooth)
[...]pposing she is onely for his tooth,
[...]t if the truth he would search out and looke,
[...]e's common vnto all men like a Booke.
[...] Booke with gawdy Coate, and silken stringes,
VVhose inside's full of Obsceane beastly thinges,
[...] like a Whore, Caparison'd and trap'd,
[...]ull of Infection, to all mischiefe apt.
[...]one Whore may be common vnto any,
[...] one Booke, may be Dedicate to many.
And sure I say, and hope I speake no slaunder,
[...] such a Booke, the Poet is the Pander.
[...] prostitutes his Muse to euery one,
[...]hich should be Constant vnto one alone,
[...]his is a kinde of Bawd'ry vile and base,
Is bounty, and is Poetryes disgrace.
[...]d least they should be lost it is ordain'd,
[...]t Bookes within a Library are Chain'd,
[...]hee that to himselfe will keepe a Whore,
[...]st Chaine her, or she'le trade with forty more.
[...] Bookes are leafe by leafe oft turn'd and tost,
[...] are the Garments of a whore (almost)
[...] both of them, with a wet finger may
[...] solded or vnfolded, Night or Day.
Moreouer 'tis not very hard to proue,
That Bookes and Whores may Riuals be in Loue,
(To purchase mens displeasures I am loth)
But sure good Schollers still hath lou'd them both.
Some Bookes haue their Errataes at the last
That tels their Errors and offences past.
So many great Whores did in state suruiue,
But when Death did their hatefull liues depriue,
Their faults escap'd and their Errataes then
Hath beene made manifest and knowne to men.
Some Bookes and Whores to wicked purpose bent
Doe, for their faults receiue one punishment.
As Bookes are often burnt, and quite forgotten,
So Whores are ouerstew'd, or rosted rotten.
Experience shewes that Bookes much knowledge bri [...]
And by experience Whores know many Thinges.
And as true Iustice, all mens losse repaires,
So whores doe giue to all men what is their's.
Terence she learnes, yet will she much Rebuke [...]
If we doe play the part of true Eunuchus.
As Bookes prophane, or else Hereticall,
Or scurrillous, non sence Seismaticall,
Peruerts mans Iudgement, and his soule pollutes,
Such are all whores, and such will be their Fruites
Some Slouens soyle a Booke in little space,
And slauer it, and so the Leaues deface:
And some againe will take a cleanly course
To reade it dayly, yet 'tis ne're the worse.
So some men vse a whore, when once they haue
They'le touze and teare, and beastly all beslauer
When Forty neat whoremasters might haue play'd
And vsde her, and she still be thought a Mayde.
[...]e that doth Read a Booke he likes, would be
[...]one, from any Interruption free,
And he that with a whore, would toy or iye,
[...] thinke desires no other Company.
When Bookes are wet, their beauty's gone or soyl'd,
[...], wash a whore, and all her paintings spoyl'd.
[...]d as an olde whore (spight of Paint or cloathing)
[...]lls at the last, the obiect of mens loathing,
[...]om'd and vnpittyed, and to finish all,
[...]es in a Ditch, or in an Hospitall.
[...] Pamphlets, and some workes of writers Graue
[...] vsde much worse then whores by many a Knaue.
Who ne're regards the matter or the price,
[...] teare like Tyrants, to wrap Drugs or Spice,
[...] which is worse in Priuy matters vse them.
[...] worst of all, like Roarers they abuse them,
When as they Rend good Bookes to light and dry
[...] [...]acco (Englands bainefull Diety).
[...] 'tis a thing I ne're thought on before,
Now a [...] dayes.
[...] Booke's examin'd stricter then a whore.
[...] [...]re's not a Sheet, a Leafe, a Page, a Vearse,
[...]orde, a sillable, or letter (scarce)
[...] that (Authority) with Iudgements eye,
[...] diligently looke, and search, and pry,
[...] gage the sence, and first will vnderstand all,
[...]st in a Phrase, or word, there lurke a scandall.
[...] my poore whore in this hath not bin spar'd,
[...] skirts were curtayld, and her nayles were
She wold haue scrat­ched else.
par'd.
All's one for that, though she such vsage had,
She's not left naked, though not richly clad,
I knew she must be question'd and I say,
I am right glad she scap'd so well away.
And should all whores of high and lowe Degree,
(As Bookes are) to account thus called be,
The Whorish number would waxe very small,
Or else men neuer could examine all.
This Booke my Whore or else this whore my Boo [...]
(Shee beares both Names, so neither is mistooke)
Respects not all her enemies a straw,
If she offended, she hath had the Law,
She was examin'd, and she did Confesse,
And hath endur'd the torture of the Presse:
Her faults are Printed vnto all mens sight,
Vnpartially declar'd in blacke and white,
And last, in Pauls Church-yard, and in the street
She suffers Pennance vp and downe in Sheets.
And if all Whores, to doe the like were made,
A Linnen Draper were the richest Trade.
If any Whore be honester then mine is,
Ile write no more but stop my mouth with
FINIS.

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