Actus primi Scena prima.

HOe, Whose within here?

Ha ye any mony to pay you knock with such authority sir?

What if I haue not, may not a man knock without money sir?

Seldome, women and Seriaunts they will not put it vp so sir.

How say you by that sir, but I prethee is not this one At­las his house a Porter?

I am the rent payer thereof.

In good time sir.

Not in good time, neither sir, for I am behinde with my Land-lord a yeere and three quarters at least.

Now if a man would giue but obseruance to this fel­lowes prating, a would weary his eares sooner then a Barber, dee heare sir, lies there not one Haddit a gentleman at this house?

Here lies such a gentleman sir whose cloathes (were they not greasie) would be speake him so.

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Then I pray sir when your leasure shall permit, that you would vouchsafe to helpe me to the speech of him.

We must first craue your oath, sir that you come not with intent to molest, perturbe, or indaunger him, for he is a gent. whom it hath pleased fortune to make her tennis ball of, and therefore subiect to be strucke by euery foole inro hassard.

In that I commend thy care of him, for which friendship heres a slight reward, tell him a Country man of his, one Light­foote is here, and will not any way dispaire of his safetie.

With all respect Sir, pray commaund my house.

So, now I shall haue a sight of my Cosen gallant, he that hath consumed 800. pound a yeare, in as few yeares, as he hath cares on his head: He that was wont neuer to be found without 3, or 4, paire of red breeches, running before his horse, or coach. He that at a meale, hath had more seuerall kindes, then I thinke the Arke conteyn'd: He that was admir'd by niters, for his robes of gallantry, and was indeed all that an elder brother might be, prodigall, yet he, whose vnthriftinesse kept many a house, is now glad to keepe house in a house, that keepes him the poore tente of a porter, and see his appearance, Ile seeme strange to him.

Cosen Lightfoote how dost, welcome to the City,

Who cals me Cosen, wheres my Cosen Haddit, hees surely putting on some rich apparell, for me to see him in. I ha bin thinking al the way I came vp, how much his company will Credit me.

My name is Haddit Sir, and your kinesman, if parents may be trusted, and therefore you may please to know me bet­ter, when you see me next.

I prethee fellow stay, is it possible thou shouldst be he, why he was the generous sparke of mens admiration.

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O by your versifying I know you now sir, how dost, I knew thee not at first, thart very much altered.

Faith and so I am, exceeding much since you sawe me last, about eight hundred pound a yeere; but let it passe, for pas­sage carried away the most part of it, a plague of fortune

That'st more neede to pray to fortune then curse her, she may be kind to thee when thou art penitent, but that I feare will be neuer.

O no, if she be a woman, sheele euer loue those that hate her, but cozen thou art thy fathers first-borne, helpe me but to some meanes, and Ile redeeme my mortgag'd lands with a wench to boote.

As how I pray thee?

Marry thus, Hogge the Vsurer hath one only daughter.

Is his name Hogge, it fits him exceeding well, for as a hogge in his life time is alwayes denouring, and neuer commo­dious in aught till his death, euen so is he whose goods at that time may be put to many good vses.

And so I hope they shall before his death, this daugh­ter of his, did, and I thinke doth loueme, but I then thinking my selfe worthy of an Empresse, gaue but slight respect vnto her fauour, for that her parentage sem'd not to equall my high thoughts, puft vp,

With Tobacco surely,

No but with as bad a weede, vaine glory.

And you could now be content, to put your lofty spirits into the lowest pit of her fauour: VVhy what meanes will serue man, Sfoote if all I haue will repaire thy fortunes, it shall fly at thy commaund,

Thankes good Coze, the meanes shall not be great, on­ly that I may first be clad in a generous outside, for that is the chiefe attraction, that drawes female affection; good parts without any abilements of gallantry, are no more set by in these times, then a good legge in a wollen stocken: No, tis a glistering presence and audacity brings women into fooles felicity.

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Yaue a good confidence Coze, but what deendien your braue outside shall effect.

That being had wele to the Vsurer where you shal of­fer some slight peece of land to mortgage, and if you doe it to bring our selues into cash, it shall be nere the farther from you, for heres a proiect will not be frustrate of this purpose.

That shal be shortly tryed, He instantly go seeke for a habit for thee and that of the richest too, that which shall not be subiect to the scoffe of any gallant, though to the accompli­shing thereof all my meanes goes: Alas whats a man vnlesse he weare good cloathes.

Good speed attend my suite, heres a neuer seene Ne­phewe kind in distresse, this giues me more cause of admiration then the losse of xxxv. settings together at Passage. I when tis performed, but words and deeds are now more different then Puritans and Players.

Heres the Player would speake with you.

About the Iigge, I promis'd him, my penne and inke, I prethee let him in, there may be some Cash rim'd out of him.

The Muses assist you sir, what at your study so early.

O chiefely now sir for) aurora musis amicat)

Indeed I vnderstand not latine sir.

You must then pardon me, good M. Chaunge-coate, for I protest vntee it is so much my often conuerse, that if there be none but women in my company, yet cannot I forbeare it.

That shewes your more learning sir, but I pray you is that small matter done I intreated for.

A small matter, youle finde it worth Megge of West­minster, althouh it be but a bare Iigge.

O lord sir, I would it had but halfe the taste of garlicke.

Garlicke stinkes to this, proue that you haue not more whores to see this, then ere Garlicke had. say I am a boaster of mine owne workes, disgrace me on the open stage, and bob me off with nere a penny.

O lord sir, farre be it from vs, to debarre any worthy writer of his merit; but I pray you sir, what is the title you be­stow vpon it?

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Marry that which is full as forceable as Garlicke, the name of it is who buyes my fowre ropes of hard Onions, by which fowre ropes is meant fowre seueral kind of liuers, by the onions hangers on, as at some conuenient time I wil more par­ticularly informe you in so rare a hidden and obscure a mistery.

I pray let me see the beginning of it, I hope you haue made no darke sentence in't, for Ile assure our audience com­monly very simple idle-headed people, and if they should heare what they vnderstand not, they would quite forsake our house.

O nere feare it, for what I haue writ is both witty to the wise, and pleasing to the ignorant; for you shall haue these laugh at it farre more heartily that vnderstand it not, then those that doe.

Me thinke the end of this staffe is a foote too long.

O no, sing it but in tune, and I dare warrant you.

Why heare ye,

And you that delight in truls and minions,

Come buy my fowre ropes of hard S. Thomas onions: Looke you there S. Thomas might very wel haue been left out, besides, hard should haue come next the onions,

Fie no, the dismembring of a rime to bring in reason shewes the more efficacy in the writer.

Well as you please, I pray you sir what wil the gratuity be, I would content you as neere hand as I could.

So I beleeue,

Why M. Change-coate, I do not suppose we shall differ many pounds, pray make your offer, if you giue me too much, I will most Doctor of Phicke like restoare.

You say well, looke you sir, theres a brace of angels, besides much drinke of free cost if it be lik't.

How M. Change-coate a brace of angels besides much drinke of free cost if it be lik't, I feare you haue learned it by heart, if you haue powdred vp my plot in your sconce, you may home sir and instruct your Poet ouer a pot of ale, the whole me­thode on't, but if you do so iuggle, looke too't Shrouetuseday is at hand, and I haue some acquaintance with Bricklayers and Playsterers.

Nay, I pray sir be not angry, for as I am a true stage­trotter, [Page]I meane honestly and looke ye, more for your loue then otherwise, I giue you a brace more.

Well, good words doe much, I cannot now be angry with you, but see henceforward, you doe like him that would please a new married wife, shew your most at first, least some o­ther come betweene you and your desires, for I protest had you not suddenly showne your good nature, another should haue had it though t'ad bin for nothing.

Troth I am sory I gaue you such cause of impatiency, but you shall see hereafter if your inuention take, I will not stand off for a brace more or lesse, desiring I may see your works before another.

Nay before al others, and shotly expect a notable peece of matter such a Iigge whose tune with the naturall whistle of a carman, shall be more rauishing to the eares of shopkeepers then a whole consort of barbors at midnight.

I am your man for't, I pray you commaund al the kind­nesse belongs to my function, as a box for your friend at a new play although I procure the hare of all my company.

No Ile pay for it rather, that may breede a muteny in your whole house.

I care not, I ha plaid a Kings part anie time these ten yeeres, if I cannot commaund such a matter twere poore ifaith.

Well Maister chaunge coate you shal now leaue me, for Ile to my studie, the morning houres are precious and my muse meditates most vpon an empty stomacke.

I pray sir when this new inuention is produc't let not me be forgotten.

Ile sooner forget to be a Iigge maker.

So heres foure angels I little dreampt of Nay and there bee mony to be gotten by foolery, I hope fortune will not see me want.

What was my country cose here since.

Why did he promise to come againe seeing how the case stoode wye.

Ye and to aduaunce my downe falne fortunes Atlas.

But ye are not sure a meant it yee when he spake it.

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No nor is it in man to coniecture rightly the thought by the tongue.

Why then ile beleeue it when I see it, if you had beene in prosperitie when a had promist you this kindenesse,

I had not needed it.

But being now you doe, I feare you must goe without it.

If I doe Atlas be it so, Ile ene goe write this rime ouer my beds head.

And so ile set vp my rest, but see Atlas heres a little of that that dambs Lawyers, take it in part of a further recompence.

No pray keepe it, I am conceited of your better fortunes, and therefore will stay out that expectation.

Why if you will you may, but the surmounting of my fortunes is as much to be doubted, as he whose estate lies in the lotterie, desperate.

But nere despaire sfoote why should not you liue aswel as a thousand others, that were change of taffety, whose meanes were neuer anything.

Yes cheating, theft, and pandarising, or may be flattery, I haue maintained some of them my selfe, but come hast aught to breakefast.

Yes theres the fagg end of a leg of mutton,

There cānot be a sweeter dish, it has Cost mony the dres­sing.

At the barbours you meane.

This is the greene, and this the chamberwindow, and see appointed light stands in the casement, the ladder of ropes set orderly, yet he that should ascend, slow in his hast, is not at yet come hether.

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O loue why doe soe.

Nor any Creature passe this way this howre.

But I feare we possessing of each others presence, shall ouerslip the time, will your friend call.

Iust at the instant, feare not of his Care:

If I doe not doe so, then hate me euer,

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I doe beleeue thee, and will hate thee neuer.

But do not stay, what if you finde not Albert,

Ile then retourne alone to fetch you hence,

If you should now deceaue me, hauing gain'd, what you men seeke for.

Sooner ile deceaue my soule, and so I feare I haue.

At your first call I will descend.

Till when, this touch of lips be the true pleadge, of Carracus constant true deuoted loue,

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What ere you are that call, you know my name.

I, and thy heart deare friend:

As how I preethee Albert:

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See we are now come to the chamber window.

Then you must call, for so I said I would,

Maria.

Is your friend Albert with you?

Yes, and your seruant honored Lady.

Hold me from falling Carracus.

I will do now so; but not at other times.

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Carracus I am weary, are the horses farre?

Actus Secundus.

What hath not my young lord Wealthy been here this morning?

No in very deed sir, is a towardly young gentleman, shall a haue my young Mistris, your daughter, I pray you sir?

I that a shall Peter, she cannot be matched to greater honour and riches in all this Country; yet the peeuish girle makes coy of it, she had rather affect a Prodigall, as there was Hadit, one that by this time cannot be otherwise then hang'd, or in some worse estate, yet shee would haue had him, but I prayse my starres shee went without him though, I did not without 's lands 'twas a rare mortgage Peter?

As ere came in parchment, but see, here comes my young lord.

Morrow father Hogge, I come to tel you strange newes, my sister is stolne away to night, tis thought by Nigromancy, what Nigromancy is, I leaue to the readers of the seauen cham­pions of chistendome.

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But is it possible your sister should be stolne, sure some of the houshold seruants were confederates in't.

Faith, I thinke they would haue confest then, for I am sure my lord and father hath put them all to the bastinado twice this morning already, not a wayting-woman but has been stowed ifaith.

Trust me a sayes wel for the most part.

Then my lord your father is farre impatient.

Impatient, I ha seene the picture of Hector in a Haber­dashers shop, not looke halfe so furious, he apprares more ter­rible then wilde fire at a play. But father Hogge, when is the time your daughter and I shall to this wedlock druggery.

Troth my lord when you please, shee's at your dispo­sure, and I rest much thankfull that your Lordship will so high­ly honour me, she shal haue a good portion my lord, though no­thing in respect of your large reuenues; call her in Peter, tel her my most respected lord Welthies here, to whose presence I will now commit her, and I pray you my Lord, prosecute the gaine of her affectation with the best affecting words you may, and so I bid good morrow to your lordship

Moreouer, father Hogge, to prosecute the gaine of her affectation with the best affecting words, as I am a Lord, a most rare phrase: well I perceiue age is not altogether ignorant, though many an old Iustice is so.

How now Peter is thy young mistris vp yet?

Yes indeed shee's an early stirrer, and I doubt not here­after, but that your lordship may say shee's abroad before you can rise.

Faith and so she may, for tis long ere I can get vp when I goe soxt to bed; but Peter has she no other suters besides my selfe.

No and it like your lordship, nor is fit she should.

Not fit she should, I tell thee Peter, I would giue away as much as some Knights are worth, and that's not much, only to wipe the noses of some dozen or two of Gallants, and to see how pittifully those percels of mans flesh would looke when I had caught the bird, which they had beaten the bush for.

Indeed your lordships conquest would haue seem'd the greater.

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Foot, as I am a Lo. it angers me to the guts, that no bo­dy hath been about her.

For any thing I know, your lordship may goe without her.

An I could haue inioin'd her to some pale fac't louers distraction, or beene enuied for my happinesse, it had beene somewhat.

But see where shee comes, I knewe she had not power enough to stay another sending, for ô lords! what are we? our very names enforce beauty to fly, being sent for aside.

Morrow pretty Becke: how doost?

I rather should enquire your lordships health, seeing you vp at such an early hower: was it the tooth-ake, or else fleas disturb'd you?

Dee ye think I am subiect to such common infirmities? nay, were I diseas'd I'de scorne but to be diseas'd like a lord isaith: but I can tell you newes, your fellow virgin-hole play­er, my sister is stolne away to night.

Intruth I am glad on't shee's now free from the iealous eye of a father; do not yee suspect, my lord, who it should be that hath carried her away?

No, nor care nor, as she brewes, so let her bake, so sayd the auntient prouerbe, but lady mine that shalbe, your father hath wisht me to appoint the day with you.

What day my lord?

Why of mariage, as the learned Historiographer writes hymens hollidaies, or nuptial Ceremonious rites.

Why, when would you appoint that my lord?

Why let me see, I thinke the Taylor may dispatch all our vestures in a weeke: therefore, it shall be directly this day sennight.

God giue you ioy.

Of what I pray you impudence, this fellow wil go neere to take his oath that he hath seene vs plighted faiths together, my father keeps him for no other cause, then to outsweare the truth My lord not to hold you any longer in a sooles paradice, nor to blind you with the hopes I neuer intend to accomplish, [Page]know I neither doe, can, or will loue you.

How, not loue a lord; ô indiscreete young woman! Indeed your father told me how vnripe I should finde you: but al's, one vnripe fruit will aske more shaking before they fall, then those that are, and my conquest will see me the greater still.

Afore god is a most vnanswerable lord, and holds her toot ifaith.

Nay ye could not a pleas'd me better, then seeing you so inuincible, and such a difficult attaining to, I would not giue a pin for the society of a female that should seeme willing, but giue me a wench that hath disdainefull lookes:

The fooles well read in vice, my lord, I hope you here­after will no further insinuate in the course of your affections, and for the better withdrawing from them, you may please to know, I haue irreuocably decreed neuer to marry.

Neuer to marry, Peter I pray beare witnes of her words that when I haue attain'd her, it may adde to my fame and con­quest.

Yes indeed an't like your lordship.

Nay, ye must think Becke I know how to woe, ye shall finde no bashfull vniuersity man of me.

Indeed I thinke y'ad nere that bringing vp, did you e­uer study my lord?

Yes faith that I haue, and the last week too, three dayes and a night together.

About what I pray?

Onely to finde out, why a woman going on the right side of her husband the day time, should lie on his left side at night; and as I am a lord, I neuer knew the meaning on't till yesterday, Mallapert my fathers Butler being a witty I acka­napes told me why it was.

Berlady, my lord, twas a shrewd studdy, and I feare hath altered the property of your good parts, for ile assure you I lou'd you a fortnight a goe farre better.

Nay, tis all one whether you doe or no, tis but a little [Page]more trouble to bring ye about agen, & no question but a man may doot; I am he, tis true as your father sayd, the blacke Oxe hath not trode vpon that foote of yours.

No, but the white Calfe hath, and so I leaue your lord­ship.

Wel go thy waies, th'art as witty a marmaled eater, as euer I conuerst with; now, as I am a lord, I loue her better and better, ile home and Poetise vpon her good parts presently, Pe­ter heres apreparatiue to my further applications, and Peter be circumspect in giuing me diligent notice, what sutors seeme to be pee-ping.

Ile warrant you my lord, shee's your owne, for ile giue out to all that comes neere her, that shees betrothed to you, and if the worst come to the worst, Ile sweare it.

Why god-a-mercy, and if euer I do gaine my request, Thou shalt in brauer cloathes be shortly drest.

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Sir, I cannot finde my sister,

How father, is it not possible that wisdome should be found out by ignorance; I pray then how do many Magnificoes come by it?

Then wisdome will sit as mure as learning among many Courtiers, but father I partlie suspect that Carracus hath got my sister.

With Childe, I feare ere this.

Berlady and that may be true, but whether a has or no, its al one, if you please, Ile take her from vnder his nose in spight ons teeth, and aske him no leaue.

That were to headstrong, sonne, weele rather leaue them to the will of heauen.

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Troth and I wish so too, for in my minde hees a gent. of a good house, and speakes true lattine,

Why doe ye take me for a mid-wife,

I am sure my sister willbe glad to heare it, and I cannot blame her, for sheele then inioy that with quietnesse, which ma­ny a wench in these dayes does scratch for,

Come sonne, ile wright to Carracus, that my owne hand may witnesse, how much I stand affected to his worth.

By this light Coze, this suite does rarely: the taylor that made it, may happe to be saued, ant be but for his good workes, I thinke I shall be proud of em, and so I was neuer yet of any clothes.

How not of your Clothes, why then you were neuer proud of any thing, for therein chiefly consisteth pride: for you neuer saw pride pictured, but in gay attire.

True, but in my opinion, pride might as well be por­traied in any other shape, as to seeme to be an affector of gal­lantry, being the causes thereof are so seuerall and diuers, as some are proud of their strength, although that pride cost them the losse of a limbe or two, by ouer-daring, likewise some are [Page]proud of their humor, although in that humor, they be often knockt for being so, some are proud of their drinke, although that liquid operation, cause them to weare a night cap 3. weeks after, some are proud of their good parts, although they neuer put them to better vses, then the enioying of a common strum­pets company, and are only made proud by the fauor of a wai­ting woman, others are proud —

Nay, I preethee Coze, enough of pride, but when do you entend to go yonder to Couetousnesse the Vsurer, that we may see how neere your plot wil take, for the releasing of your mort­gag'd lands.

Why now presently, and if I do not accomplish my pro­iects to a wished end, I wish my fortunes may be like some scra­ping tradesman, that neuer embraceth true pleasure, till he be threescore and ten.

But say Hogs daughter, on whom all your hopes depend by this be betrothed to some other.

VVhy say shee were, nay more, maried to another, I would be neare the further of them effecting of my intents, no Coze, I partly know her inward disposition, and did I but only know her to be woman kind, I thinke it were sufficient.

Sufficient, for what.

VVhy to obtaine a graunt of the best thing shee had, Chastity, Man tis not here, as tis with you in the Countrey, not to be had without fathers and mothers good will, no, the City is a place of more traffique, where each one learnes by example of their elders, to make the most of their owne, either for profit or pleasure.

Tis but your misbeleeuing thoughts, makes you surmise so, if women were so kind, how haps you had not by their fa­ctors kept your selfe out of the clawes of pouerty.

O but Coze, Can a ship saile without water, had I had but such a suite as this, to set my selfe a floate, I would not haue [...]ar'd sincking but come, no more of need, now to the Vsurer, and though all hopes do faile, a man can want no liuing, So long as sweet desire reignes in women.

But then your selfe must able be in giuing.

To what intent dee knocke sir.

Because I wold be heard sir, is the M ^r. of this house within?

Yes marry is a sir, would you speake with him?

Both are exceeding well sir.

I me truly glad ont, farewel good friend.

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I pray you lets craue your name sir, I may els haue anger.

You may say, one Albert riding by this way, onely inquir'd their health.

I will acquaint so much.

Actus Tertius.

Why thou base villaine, was my dearest friend here, and couldst not make him stay?

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Sfoote sir, I could not force him against his wil, an a had been a woman.

Hence thou vntuter'd slaue.

But couldst thou Albert come so nere my dore, and not vouch­safe the comfort of thy presence?

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At what time fairest?

As if you knew not, why dee mak't so strang [...]

How, in your Chamber?

I haue heard enough my Carracus to bereaue me of this little breath, she sounds.

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All breath be first extinguishe, within there ho?

O Nurse see heere, Maria saies sheele die.

Marry, God forbid, oh M ^ris. Ms. Ms. she has breath yet, shees but in a traunce, good sir take comfort sheele recouer by and by.

No, no, sheele die Nurse, for she sayd she would, an she had not sayd so, tad bene another matter, but you know Nurse she nere told a lie, I will beleeue her, for she speaks all truth.

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Tis dead indeed, how did you know twas so Nurse?

What sir?

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Good sir walke in, weele fend for learned men that may alay your frenzy.

Shee is within sir, pray you wil you walke to her.

Ho you, three foote and a halfe, why Page I say, sfoot is vanisht as sodainly as a dumbe shewe, if a lord had lost his way now so a had been serued, but let me see; as I take it, this is the house of Carracus, a very faire building, but it lookes as if twere dead, I can see no breath come out of the chimnies; but I shall know the state on't by and by, by the looks of some seruing-man: VVhat no within here?

Good sir, you haue your armes at liberty, wilt please you to with-draw your action of battery.

Yes indeed, now you haue made your appearance, is the liuing-giuer within sir?

You meane my Master sir?

You haue hit it sir, prays'd bee your vnderstanding, I am to haue cōference with him, would you admit my presence.

Indeed sir he is at this time not in health, and may not be disturb'd.

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Sir, an a were in the pangs of childe-bed, I'de speake with him.

Vpon what cause gay-man?

Sfoote I thinke a be disturb'd indeed, a speakes more commaunding then a Constable at midnight.

Sir, my lord and father, by me a lord, hath sent these lines in­clos'd, which shew his whole intent.

Is yous M ^r. a Statesman friend?

Alas no sir, a vnderstands not what a speakes.

I but when my father dies, I am to be call'd in for one my selfe, and I hope to beare the place as grauely as my succes­sors haue done before me.

I will relate as much sir, fare ye well.

Why now I vnderstand you sir, that Maria is my sister, by whose coniunction you are created brother, to me a lord.

But brother lord we cannot goe this iourney.

Alas no sir, we meane to ride it, my sister shall ride vpon my nagge.

Content sir.

Mad-men and fooles agree.

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When you haue got this prise, you meane to lose me.

Nay pree thee doe not thinke so, if I doe not marry thee this instant night, may I neuer enioy breath a minute after; by heauen I respect not his pelfe, thus much, but onely that I may haue wherewith to maintaine thee.

O but to rob my father, though a be bad, the world will thinke ill of me.

Thinke ill of thee, can the world pitty him, that nere pittied any, besides since their is no end of his goods, nor begin­ning of his goodnesse; had not we as good share his drosse in his life time, as let Controuersie and Lawyers deuowre it ats death?

You haue preuail'd, at what houre ist you entend to haue entrance into his chamber?

Why iust at mid-night, for then our apparition will will seeme most fearefull, youle make away that we may ascend vp like spirits?

I will, but how many haue you made instruments herein?

Faith none, but my cosen Lightfoote and a plaier.

But may you trust the player?

Oh exceeding well, wele giue him a speech a vnder­stands not, but now I thinke out, whats to be done with your Fathers man Peter?

Why the least quantity of drinke, will lay him dead a­sleepe; But harke, I heare my father comming, soone in the eue­ning ile conuay you in.

Till when, let this outward ceremony, be the true pledge of our inward affections.

So, this goes better forward then the Plantation in Virginia: but see here comes halfe the west Indies, whose rich mines this night I meane to be ransacking

Then youle seale for this small Lordship you say, To morrow your mony shall be rightly told vp for you to a peny.

I pray let it, and that your man may set contents vpon euerie bag.

Indeed by that wee may know what we steale without labour, for the telling ont ore; how now gent. are ye agreed v­pon the price of this earth and clay.

Yes faith Mr. Haddit the gent, your friend here makes me paye sweetlie for't but let it goe, I hope to inherite hea­uen [Page]ant be but for doing gentlemen pleasure.

Peter.

Anon sir.

I wonder how Haddit came by that gay suite of clothes, all his meanes was consumed long since.

Why sir being vndone himselfe; a liues by the vndoing or by-lady, it may be by the doing of others, or peraduenture both a decayed gallant may liue by any thing, if a keepe one thing safe.

Gentlemen, Ile to the Scriueners to cause these writings to be drawne.

Pray doe sir, weele now leaue you till the morning.

Nay, you shall stay dinner, ile retourne presently; Peter some beare here for these worshipful gentlemen.

We shall be bold no doubt, and that olde penny-father youle confesse by to morrow morning.

Then his daughter is certainely thine, and condiscends to all thy wishes.

And yet you would not once beleeue it, as if a females fauour could not be obteyn'd by any, but he that weares the Cap of maintenance.

Well thou hast got one deserues the bringing home with trumpets, and fals to thee as miraculously as the 1000. pound did to the Tailor, thanke your good fortune, but must Hogges man be made druncke,

By all meanes: and thus it shall be effected, when a comes in with beere, do you vpon some slight occasion fall out with him, and if you doe giue him a cuffe or two, it will giue him cause to knowy'are the more angry, then will I slip in and take vp the matter, and striuing to make you two friends, wele make him druncke.

Its done in conceipt already, see where a comes.

Wilt please you to tast a cup of September beare gentiem.

Pray begin, wele pleadge you sir.

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Its out sir. Li. then my hand in sir.

Why goodman hobby horse, if we out of our gentility offered you to beginne, must you out of your rascality needes take it.

Why how now sirs, whats the matter.

The gentleman here fals out with me, vpon nothing in the world but mere courtesie,

By this light but a shall not, why Cozen Lightfoote.

Is his name Lighfoote, a plague on him, a has a heauie hande.

Peace be here: for I came late enough from a madman.

My young Lord, God saue you.

And you also: I could speake it in lattine, but the phrase is common.

True my Lords, and whats common, ought not much to be dealt with all: but I must desire your helpe my Lord to end a Controuersie here, betweene this gentleman my friend, and honest Peter, who I dare besworne is as ignorant as your Lord­shippe.

That I will, but my masters thus much ile say vntee, if so be this quarrell may be taken vp peaceably, without the in­dangering of my owne person, well, and good, otherwise I will not meddle therewith, for I haue beene vext late enough al­readie.

Why then my Lord if it please you, let me, being your inferiour, decree the cause betweene them.

I doe giue leaue, or permit.

Then thus I will propound a reasonable motion; how many cuffes Peter did this gent. out of his fury make thee parta­ker of?

Three at the least sir.

All which were bestowed vpon you for beginning first Peter.

Yes indeed sir.

Why then here the sentence of your suffering, you shal both downe into Master Hogs seller Peter, and whereas you began first to him, so shall he there to you, and as he gaue you three cuffes, so shall you retort of in defiance of him, three [Page]blacke Iackes, which if he deny to pledge; then the glory is thine, and he accompted by the wise discretion of my Lord here a flincher.

A very reasonable motion.

Why so, this is better then being among mad-men yet.

Were you so lately with any my Lord?

Yes faith, Ile tell you all in the Seller, how I was taken for an Embassador, and being no sooner in the house, but the mad man carries mee vp into the garret for a spie, and very roundly bad me vntrusse, and had not a courteous seruing man conueied me away whilst he went to feteh whips I thinke in my conscience: not respecting my honour a would a breecht me.

By Lady, and t'was to be fear'd; but come my Lord wele heare the rest in the seller.

Actus Quartus.

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And can you helpe to the sight of him?

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Not dead.

Then without question she doth surely liue: But I do trouble thee too much, therfore good speak truth, farewel.

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O are you come sir, I was sending the Tauerne-boy for ye, I haue been practising here, and can do none of my loftie trickes.

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Most pleasant to the taste, pray will you goe.

Faster then you I beleeue sir.

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So doth Maria to.

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And woful'st liuer in calamity.

Which heauen confirme.

Heauen so continue it.

Actus Quintus.

So, haue you layd the keyes of the outward dores vnder my boulster?

Yes forsooth.

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Great Cressus shaddow may dispose of me to what hee pleaseth.

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Swifter in course then doth the Sunne.

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Indeed I doe, and Hogge shall finde it so.

Then I must make to him obeysance thus.

So now practise standing, though it be nothing agreea­ble to your hogs age, let me see among these writings is my ne­phew Haddits mortgage; but in taking that it may breed sus­pect on vs, wherefore this boxe of Iewels will stand farre better and let that alone, it is now breake of day, and nere by this the marriage is confirm'd betwixt my Cosen & great Cressus friends daughter here, whom I would now leaue to his most weighty cogitation

Let me now ruminate to my selfe why Cressus should be so great a fauorer to me, & yet to what end should I desire to [Page]know I thinke it is sufficient, it is so, and I would a had beene so sooner, for he and his spirits would haue saued me much la­bour in the purchasing of wealth; but then indeed it would haue beene the confusion of 2. or 3. Scriueners, which by my meanes haue beene properly rais'd: but now imagine this onely a tricke whereby I may be guld; but how can that be? are not my dores lockt, haue I not seene with my owne eyes the ascending of the spirits? haue I not heard with my owne eares the inuocations wherewith they were rais'd? could any but spirits appeare through so firme a sloore as this is? tis impossible: But harke, I heare the spirit Ascarion comming with my gould, O bountiful Cressus; Ile build a temple to thy mightinesse.

O Peter, how long haue we slept vpon the hogshead?

I thinke a dosen howers my Lord, and tis nothing, Ile vndertake to sleepe sixteene, vpon the receipt of two cups of muskadine.

I maruell what's become of Haddit and Lighfoote?

Hang'em flinchers they sluncke away as soone as they had druncke as much as they were able to carry, which no ge­nerous spirit would a done in deed.

Yet I beleeue Had. had his part, for to my thinking the seller went round with him when a left vs, but are we come to a bed yet? I must needs sleepe.

Come softly by any meanes, for we are now vpon the threshold of my masters chamber, through which ile bring you to Mistris Rebeckaes lodging, giue me your hand and come very nicely.

Where art Peter.

Wheres this noyse Peter canst tell?

I heare the voice of my adopted sonne in law.

Why Peter wilt not answere me?

O my Lord aboue, stand still, I am falne downe at least 30. fathome deepe, if you stand not still till I recouer and haue lighten a candle, y'are but a dead man.

I am rob'd, I am vndone, I am deluded, whose in my chamber?

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Tis I, the Lord your sonne that shall be, vpon my honor I came not to rob you.

I shall run mad, I shall run mad.

Why then tis my fortune to be terrifide with madmen.

Where are you my Lord?

Here my Lady? where are you rogue when theeues breake into my house?

Breaking my necke in your seruice a plague ont.

But are you rob'd indeed father Hogge, of how much I praye?

Of all, of all; see here, they haue left me nothing but 2. or 3. roles of parchment, here they came vp like spirits, & tooke my siluer, gold, and Iewels; wheres my daughter?

Shees not in the house sir? the streete doores are wide open.

Nay tis no matter where shee is now? shele scarce be worth a 1000. pound and thats but a taylors prise.

Then youle not haue her sir?

No as I hope to liue in peace.

Why bee't so, bee't so, confusion cannot come in a more fitter time on all of vs: O bountifull Cressus, how fine thy shaddow hath deuoured my substance.

Good my Lord promise him to marry his daughter, or a will be mad presently, though you neuer intend to haue her.

Well father Hogge, though you are vndone, your daughter shall not be, so long as a Lords can stand her in any stead: come you shall with me to my Lord and father, whose warrants wee will haue for the apprehending of all suspitious liues, and though the labour be infinite, you must consider your losse is so.

Come, ile doe any thing to gaine my golde.

Till which be had, my fare will be but cold.

Now Mr. Parson we will no further trouble you, and for the tying of our true loue knot, heres a small amends.

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It's true indeed, good morrow honest Parson.

O by no meanes, I pree thee friend, good-morrow.

VVhy then to me sir Iohn.

To all a kinde good morrow.

A most fine Vicar, there was no other meanes to be rid of him: but why are you so sad Rebecka?

Nay be not grieu'd, for that which should rather giue you cause of content, for 'twill be a meanes to make him aban­don his auarice, and saue a soule almost incurable: but now to our owne affaires, this marriage of ours must not yet be known least it breed suspition, we will bring you Rebeck a vnto Atlas his house, whil'st we two goe vnto the old Lord Welthies, hauing some acquaintance with his sonne in law Carracus, who I vn­derstand is there, where no question but we shall finde your fa­ther proclaiming his losse, thether you shall come some what after vs, as it were to seeke him, where I doubt not but so to or­der the matter, that I will receaue you as my wife, from his own hands.

May it so happy proue.

Amen say I, for should our last tricke be knowne, great Cressus shade would haue a coniured time ont.

Tis true, his Castle of Addamant would scarce holde him: but come this will be good cause for laughter hereafter.

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You may see brother, vnlook't for guests proofe of­ten troublesome.

Well, but is your husband there any quieter then a was?

Sir, I must desire you to forget all iniuries, if, in not be­ing my selfe, I offered you any.

Ile see that peace concluded.

Which I agree to, for patience is a vertue father Hogge.

Was it you sonne that cride so loud for iustice?

Yes marry was it, and this the party to whome it apper­taines.

O my most honored lord I am vndone, rob'd this black night of all the wealth and treasure, which these many yeeres I haue howerly labored for.

And who are those haue done this outrage to you?

Oh knew I that, I then my lord were happy.

Come you for Iustice then, not knowing 'gainst whom the course of Iustice should extend it selfe?

None but the diuell.

I thought a was a Cheater, ere since I heard two or three Templers sweare at dice the last Christmas, that the diuel had got all.

My kinde acquaintance. Ioy to thy good successe.

Noble, and free-borne Haddit, welcome.

M ^r. Hogge good-day.

For I haue had a bad night on't

Sicknesse is incident to age, what be the writings ready [Page]to be sealed, wee intreated last day.

Yes I thinke they are, would the Scriuiner were paid for the making them.

A shalbe so, though I doote my selfe, is the mony put vp as I appointed?

Yes tis put vp, confusion cease the receiuers.

Heauen blesse vs all, what meane you sir?

Marry, God forbid, after what manner I pray.

What exclamations that?

Rob'd, by whom or how?

O theres the griefe, a knowes not whome to suspect.

The feare of hell oretake them whatsoere they be: but wheres your daughter, I hope she is safe.

Thankes heauen, I see shee's now so, where hast thou been my girle?

Alas sir, carried by amazemēt, I know not where, pursu'd by the robbers forc't to fly as mad affright, through al the City streets to seek redresse, but that lay fast asleepe in all mens hou­ses, nor would lend an eare to the distrest.

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We all are willing.

Then in the presence of you all, I giue my daughter free­ly to this gent. as wife, and to shew how much I stand affected to him for dowry with her, I doe backe restore his mortgag'd lands, and for their loues I vowe, euer hereafter to detest, re­nounce, loath and abhorre all slauish auarice:

A blest conuersion.

Heauen graunt we may.

A good night to all.