The humorous courtier A comedy, as it hath been presented with good applause at the private house in Drury-Lane. Written by Iames Shirley Gent.

Author: Shirley, James, 1596-1666.1640

Oxford Text Archive

A Catalogue of such things as hath beene published by James Sherley Gent.
The Actors names.

THE HVMOROVS COVRTIER.

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[Page]

[Page] THE HVMOROVS COVRTIER.

A COMEDY, As it hath been presented with good applause at the private house in Drury-Lane.

Written by IAMES SHIRLEY Gent.

[figure]

LONDON. Printed by T. C. for William Cooke, and are to be sold by James Becket, in the Inner Temple. 1640.

[Page]

A Catalogue of such things as hath beene published by James Sherley Gent.

TRaytor.
Witty Faire one.
Bird in a Cage.
Changes, or Love in a Maze.
Gratefull Servant.
Wedding.
Hide Parke.
Young Admirall.
Lady of Pleasure.
Gamster.
Example.
Dukes Mistresse.
Ball.
Chabot Admirall of France.
Royall Master.
Schoole of Complements.
Contention for Honour and Riches.
Triumph of peace, a Masque.
Maides Revenge.
Humorous Courtier.

[Page]

The Actors names.

COmachio, an old Lord, Vnckle to Depazzi.
Orseollo an humorous Lord.
Volterre 2 young Lords.

Contarini
Depazzi, a young foolish lord
Giotto, a cunning Court favourite.
The Dutchesse.
Laura, a young gentlewoman great in favour.
Carintha, wife to Contarini.
Dandalo, servant to Contarini.
Crispino, servant to Depazzi.
Sancho servant to Orseollo.
Officer.
Servants.
Attendants.

[Page]

THE HVMOROVS COVRTIER.

Actus Primi. Scena Prima.

Enter Volterre, Orseollo.

Volterre.

REmember where you are,

Ors.

That ever man

Should be so dull of soule to love a woman.

Vol.

What in the name of fury hath made you

An enemy to that sexe, upon what Lady

False beyond Cressida, didst thou loose thy patience?

Finde it againe for shame, thou wert not borne

A woman hater.

Ors.

No, I thanke heaven

My mothers dead, and all my sisters, I

Had a contention in my nature, when

They were alive, but tye of blood prevail'd

Against my disposition, I confesse

I never wish'd them dead.

Vol.

How hadst thou beene

Alive, but for thy mother?

Ors,

Thats one reason

Should make our love the lesse to e'm, they doe

But bring's acquainted with the world, which at

Our birth we are afraid of, and grow old

[Page] But to repent we are not embrois still,

Or things lost in conception.

Vol.

We may

As well condemne our fathers, and declaime

'Gainst them for our begetting, come Orseollo,

Desist to be a Satire, I hope you wod not

The Dutchesse should heare this; collect your selfe

You are ith presence, put on a smooth face

And speake Court language, let me counsell you

To softnesse; what a Courtier and so rugged?

Princes they say have many cares, and tis

not lesse then treason, in a womans court

To be so violent against e'm, these

Hangings may eveldrop us.

Ors.

Let em, let em,

May be 'twould move the Dutchesse to exempt me

From my attendance; and she knew my minde

She would allow me a writ of ease, least I

Infect her Court with railing gainst her sexe:

I'de rather heare a mandrake, then let in

The noise of women; heaven that I might never

Converse with any.

Volt.

Thou wilt never marry.

Ors.

Marry? Ile first engender with a Viper,

Were there but one woman alive, and but

By knowing her, no hope to stocke the world

Agen, Ide geld my selfe.

Volt.

Pitty thou shouldst

Marry, to get a sonne that should bē like thee;

Take heed least women for this bitternesse

Make thee not first an Eunuch, but we ha lost

Our first discourse, thy passion like a storme

Hath quite transported us, from the Duke Foscari,

That hath now left us, let's

A cold sute with the Dutchesse.

Ors.

If I stay

I shall talke treason, a cold sute? for ever

Ice dwell within their marrowes can affect em,

[Page] He was too worthy on her.

Vol,

He deserved,

I know not what to thinke out, tis the third

Prince, that our duties have commended,

In hope to be made happy with her issue:

Nay, nay, have truce a little with thy spleene,

And lets talke wisely, we shall be observed;

I wonder.

Ors.

So doe I.

Vol.

At what?

Ors.

At nothing,

At a woman, how tis possible a man

Should court and love em so, but now I thinke one,

I doe not wonder.

Vol.

How is this?

Ors.

They are

All Circes, and do steale away our soules;

They juggle us into shapes and puppets lovers.

Vol.

They ha not juggled you me thinkes.

Enter Contarini, Signiour Contarini.

Con.

Volterre and Orseollo, morrow to ye,

You heare the newes.

Foscari is departed.

Vol.

In a mist, is he not? here's but we three,

The Dutchesse is a strange woman.

Or.

Contarini hast any other faith,

Are they not all so Volterre?

Thou hast beene a travailer, and converst

with the Antipodes, almost put a girdle

about the world, taken dimensions

Of every nature, tasted all aires, and canst

Distinguish em to an atome, tell me Signiour

And be not partiall to the Sex, didst ever

Vpon thy honour meete with such a creature,

We here call vertuous woman, are not all

The stocke of em inconstant?

Vol.

Nay let's ha

[Page] No morē invēctives Signiour Orseollo

Traduce not all for some, it must be granted.

Con.

They are an excellent creation, though

Some few decline from vertue, I've a wife,

I'm but new married neither, yet I dare

Boast my opinion.

Ors.

Doe not, the Moone

Is yet but ith' first quarter Contarini,

I would endeere my thoughts to thee, and thou

Wert not marryed, boast thy opinion.

Goe sacrifice to sleepe, why these are womēn

Will cosen a strong faith, cuckold their husbands,

Yet taken in the act perswade em into

A beleefe they doe but dreame so.

Con.

Signiour

Y'are pleasant.

Vol.

Pleasant

Con.

As his gall will suffer him,

He has beene casting out up this halfe hourē,

Yet there is some behind still, if you name

A woman, he takes fire like touchwood, but

To the Duke Foscari.

Ors,

I have it,

Vol.

What?

Ors.

Ye talke

Duke Foscari.

Con.

We doe.

Ors.

I ha the cause hē went away so soone.

Vol.

Prethee enrich our knowledge, why?

Ors.

I honour him.

Con.

So we doe all.

Ors.

He is a brave Duke, a man,

And in that, more then all his titles make him,

Some easie natures would ha languished for her,

And ha beene paler then ye meane, with watching

Distilled their braine, tyred, yea some to seeme

Comit Idolatry, given her their soules,

And changed em to her motion; in each window

Bescratching with some Diamond her name,

[Page] And warme it so with kisses till it thaw

The very glasse, which weepes it selfe away

In pitty of the dotage, beene content

To ha worne their youth away in expectation;

This Prince was wiser, he left Parma to

Behold a creaturē was cride up, the miracle

Of nature, a new starre like Cassiopeia

That drew the eyes of Italy, and left em

Fixt in the admiration, but he needing

No Iacobs staffe to take the height, and looking

With a true eye upon this wounder, found

She was a woman, nothing but a woman,

His wisdome quickely taught him to returne

A sham'd of his credulity.

Vol.

He's mad,

What a wild passion like a torrent, beares him

Against the women, 'tis well your hate

Points at the gēnerall, one womans anger

Would checke your forward—else

Contarini.

Con.

I darē not hēare him talke morē, wē shall be

Held cherishers of his railing humour, in, in,

Prethee lets leave him.

Vol.

Why Signiour, are you so transported

You have not power enough to seeme calme,

What dost at Court?

Ors.

Not cringe as you, and adore the nods

Of painted Ladies, weary my hammes to answer

Madams halfe cursies, I neere come to Court

But to defend me from it.

Bo.

Ha?

Ors.

The truth is,

I would be faine discharged, tis a hell to me,

There are so many wormed in't: would the Dutchesse

Would banish me into some Wildernesse,

I should indure the beasts though they devour'd mē,

I hate no monsters but the Harpies.

Con.

Why?

[Page] Ors.

Harpies have womens faces Contarini,

Yet now I thinke Volterre I have heard

There's another feminine murderer

Cald the Hiena, that invites men forth

To be devourd; y'ave heard how the Egyptian

Crocadile weepes, when death it selfe lies bathing

Within her teares, thinke but upon women

And tell me which I should avoide-first.

Enter Comachio, Giotto.

Com.

I seē a merit nigh, and I hope

You will deserve the favour, we are not

Wont to admit of servants neere their person,

Without more caution.

Gio.

It makes my bond

Of duty and observance greater.

Con.

My Lord Comachio.

Com.

Let me employ some of your carē upon

My Nephew, something you may adde

To improve him, you shall till no barren ground,

Though he reward you not with fruitefulnesse,

I shall have power to make you thinke your studies

Well plac'd.

Gio.

Your compasse I shall saile by.

Exit

Com.

Contarini hows the day?

Vol.

Not early.

Com.

Signior Orseollo, I know what cloud

Muffles your thoughts.

Con.

He is constant to his humour.

Com.

Not the Dutchesse, come faith yēt Orseollo,

We shall intreate you joyne with us to the Dutchesse.

Ors.

Yes, hey!—

Exit.

Vol.

So, so, he would but trouble us.

Com.

My Lords, we must be circumspect,

We are not to negotiate a designe

That lookes but at the profit of one man:

The Dutchy calls to owne it, all our cares

You know have met, that we might move the Dutchesse

To exchange her dull Virginity for Marriage;

[Page] Foscari whom our ambition pointed at, is lost

And he in some disgust gone hence.

Vol.

I feare so.

Com.

His violent departure gives us more

Then jealousie, we must sollicite her,

But so as shall become our duties, and

Expresse our knowledge of her great soulē

And pregnant wit.

Con.

She enters signior Comachia, tis refer'd

To your delivery.

Enter Dutchesse, Laura, Attendants.

Dutch.

Comachio! we have no knowledge of thy agē,

But what thy wisdome and experience doth

Discover, i'st not troublesome, t'attend

A young Court?

Com.

Your grace so desires my duty, that I

Delight in service.

Dutch.

Contarini i'th mornings eyē, reveales

More youth, then he did by Hymens tapers;

Lookes younger then when we call him Bridegroome.

Censure him Laura.

she sits.

Lau.

Your Highnesse knowes he hath a young wife.

Con.

All my use of time, is but to perfect

My obedience to your excellence.

Dutch.

We cherish both your loves, and you Volterre

Are great too within our memory.

Vol.

I shall endevour new merits.

Dutch.

The cause of your attendance now, is knowne

Ere you deliver it. The departure

Of the young Duke (our Lover) from our Court

In so obscure a way, without your notice;

Our consent publish'd gives you just cause

Of wonder: yet so much y'are skil'd both in

Our soule and nature, that no immediate

Motive of his anger shall be laid to

Our charge; but what you thinke, makes our person

Safe, and great.

Com.

We come with humble modesty t'require

[Page] So much, as shall concerne our care, both

Of your gracious selfe, and our good Country.

Foscari, Duke of Parma is a great Prince;

Feature; a Lady, like your excellence,

His youth and strength may promise issue even

To a matron.

Dutch.

We know he merits all his praise. Proceede

To what you call your businesse.

Com.

His Catholicke Majesty did lately by

His Li [...]ger, urge a title to this Duchy,

And desire your Counsell, he might be nam'd

Your Highnesse next, and lawfull heire, unlesse

From your owne person, were deriv'd a Prince

To intercept his hopes, with ease, you may

Consider, how unkinde our fate will be,

Beyond his owne naturall soile, doth make

Obedience bondage.

Dutch.

You have yet hope, tis in my power

To prevent what you suspect.

Com.

We have, but Time (the enemy to lie,

And to increase) may scorne, destroy that hope.

If not for propitious love to us;

Yet for your owne sake, your glory, hasten

The cure of these our feares: Time is the moth

Of nature, devouers all beauty, when those

Bright eyes, that governe now with Phoebus-like

Predominance, shall yeeld no light unto

That darkened sky (your face) some aged mother

Pround of her fertill wombe, will shew you then

Her off-spring. Behold (quoth she) I neede no

Marble house for my fame to dwell in, these

Are my living monuments, but your sullaine

Chastetie, will not permit your fame t' outlive

Your breath.

Dutch.

No more Comachio! these are my owne thoughts:

Shortly you shall see I am art, prevention

Of all danger.

All.

You are my gracious Mistresse.

[Page] Com.

Yea you shall much divulge your clemency

If to stifle publike noyse you reveale

The reason; why Foscari was not made

Your choyse.

Dutch.

Foscari is a forraigner: borne in

A climate not so temperate as ours,

And I am yet to know, whether his minde

Be different from such as please me here

At home: forraigne alliance is an old

Disguise for Sunices hatred: It charmes the

Peacefull into a dull security;

Vntill the furious finde best advantage

To make his anger knowne: then both are more

Ingag'd t'inflame, what erst th' one did kindle.

I should sinne my good Lords, if I did thinke

My humillity disgrac'd my honour,

When I suppos'd my owne Court able to

Breede a man, fit to mingle blood, even with

A Princesse; should I say with mine: what amaz'd,

Why does it want example, I should not

Thinke my choyce would much accuse my eyes, if

I elect a Lover here: unlesse some

Are more desert-lesse then I am guilty of, Laura!

Exeunt Dutchesse, Attendance. They first gaze on one another, then walke up and downe.

Com.

Ioyne to us Oedipus, yet we shall want

Helpe t'expound this Riddle—

Con.

A Lover here from her owne Court, sure it

Must be from this number, Signiour Volterre!

Vol.

My very good Lord.

Con.

You are the man, the starres dance to. The spheares

Doe practise musicke, only to make you

Merry, you are he signiour.

Vol.

Who, I my Lord?

Con.

Doe not conceale your hopes: they'le be worthy

Your acknowledgement; you would be install'd

Ith' darke, steale titles, without the notice

Of the Heralds, but noyse attends honour.

[Page] Vol.

I neede a Comment to your words.

Con.

Come, you young men are all temptation;

You have the purple veines (signiour) that swell

With wanton pride, and Ladies judgements are

Much govern'd by their eyes; what grace, what favour,

Did the Dutchesse lately shew you, the more

T'indeere your duty? hah?

Vol.

I want a soule (signiour) if she ever

Honour'd me with any phrase; but what is

Vsuall in her Complement t'other Lords.

Con.

Ist possible—

Vol.

He has discoverd somewhat that concernes

My joy. Nature needes no excuse why a

Dutchesse should affect a travail'd Lord;

You are great too, within our memory.

These were her words. hum!—

Com.

Signiour Contarini.

Con.

My Lord.

Com.

You observ'd the Dutchesse language?

Con.

Am I not thinking on't? heart, why doe ye

Interupt me?—

Com.

How's this my Lord Volterre?

Vol.

Your pleasure signiour!

Com.

You have a fortunate skill in translation

Of misterious language: I pray lend me

Your censure upon the last words the Dutchesse

Vttered.

Vol.

Hah signiour? they concerne not me, I am

Forgotten by my starres, I, Volterre

Is lost to all Eyesight, but his owne.

Com.

Doe our braines melt this hot weather. These men

Were heretofore discreete, and now they talke

A if they had no Eyelids, like things that

Never slept. I finde the cause.

Exit.

Con.

Quoth she, he lookes younger, then when he stood

By Hymens tapers, good, very good, I have

O were I single now; my wife, my wife;

She ruines all this hope.—

[Page] Vol.

Since I have travel'd, brought from France, the nice

Amorous cringe, that so inchants Ladies:

Tis fit I use it often, the tongue is

Powerfull too, and I inrich in languages,

It shall be knowne—

Con.

Signiour Volterre.

Vol.

To bring Revel▪ in the Court, that's the way,

I have my selfe an able chine, and I

Can friske like a Goate: which females call

A lucky symptome—Signiour Contarini,

Con.

Your lop. must excuse me, I'm a little

Serious.

Vol.

O for a sight of Iupiters wardrobe

That I might immetate the shape, in which

He courted Diana!

Con.

Signiour Volterre.

Vol.

I my Lord that's my name, Ile goe write

It downe, least this businesse make me forget it.

Exit.

Con.

Rebellious blood! must I neëds marry? had

I but delaid my lust a month, I might

Have wasted then my strength and nature, to

A nobler purpose: beget Princes, now

I am in bondage to my marriage vow.

Exit.

Act. 2. Scena. 1.

Enter Contarini, Dandalo.

Con.

MY Wife must do't and then I may effect

My hope with the great Dutchesse as soone as he

Most proud of demerits. Dandalo

Wheres your Lady.

Dan.

Your Lordship may heare both her voyce and Lute,

Shees in the garden with Reollo your

Musitian.

Con.

Heare, does she so much dispaire of long life,

That she need flatter her soule to tarry here

With soft Ayres, and wanton Musicke.

[Page] Danda.

My Lord.

Con.

Conduct her hither.

Enter Carintha.

Car.

I saw your entrance, you bring newes from Court,

Let me share in't.

Con.

I must worke her to it with art and leisure.

Car.

What does your lop say?

Con.

Sweete lend me thy eare in private—can I

Demand a thing from her that slumbred in

My bosome, and she be so unkind

To give my sute a hard repulse.

Car.

My Lord I am not guilty of a cause

That can warrant your suspect either of

My love or duty.

Con.

I beleeve thee (deere Carintha) but this

Injunction is so severe and strange, 'twill

Puzle thy consent at first.

Car.

Sir make it knowne, I cannot be so slow

In any performance of your will, as you

Are to reveale it.

Con.

Thy breath is sweeter then the smoke ascending

From the Phoenix funerall pile, I could

Kisse thee, even engender on thy lips.

Car.

You were not wont to be thus pleasd, shew me

Which way I may requite your passion, speake

The sute you talke on.

Con.

Now I know the strength of thy affection,

I slight my sute the grave will prove to easie.

Car.

What is it.

Con.

Ile have thee onely kill thy selfe, cruch, thou

Shat doe it, hah—

Car.

Sir I suspect your health, you were not wont

To shew your speech so much estrang'd from reason.

Con.

Is this your love, your forward kindnesse?

Car.

Scarse has the Moone expir'd a change since you

Received me in your bed a cold Virgin;

Are you so soone tyred with sacred marriage,

Desirous to motive my eternall

[Page] Absence and by a meanes so cruell sir,

How have I deserved your hatred, or please

But to reveale the profit which by death

Can bring you.

Con.

I have not leasure to reply to your

Demands, will you do't.

Car.

You fright my soule.

Con.

Orseollo happy you, whose frozen nature

Will not permit a closure with a woman.

The sex doe quite degenerate from those

Great patternes which the former age produced.

Portia swallowed fire to please her husbands ghost,

Who inticed him to Elisium; Lucresse,

To purchase life unto her memory,

Noyse at her funerall such as might cleave

Her fame, priced her deare heart, and dyed

Car.

We have a certaine faith, a faith

That can assure reward, or punishment

For deeds, we know our dwelling after death,

Which Roman soules unlawfully did seeke,

And found too soone, we are prescrib'd those act

That makes us Angels.

Con.

She has bin gossipping with the holy

Sisters, zeale, and purity.

Car.

It were safer for my soule; if your selfe

Would be my Executioner.

Con.

I thanke you Lop. I am exposed

To the justice of the law, he whose rich

And his Prince become his heire cannot live long;

Besides my hopes to enjoy the Duchesse,

Are then quite frustrate.

Car.

What said your Lop.

Con.

I did not thinke Carintha thou hadst beene

So sterne of nature, t'hast a stubborne heart;

Deny my first request.

Car.

Should I kill my selfe.

Con.

Why must we not all dye, 'tis a thrifty

Conscience that perswades the soule to hasten

[Page] Her departure hence to avoid future guilt.

Car.

You counsell strangely, I have deserv'd more

Kindenesse from your tongue.

Con.

If thou suspect'st thou hast not fortitude

Enough, t'attempt thy death by violence:

Expire with leasure: refraine from meate, till

Th' orifice of thy stomacke close, and grow

Together; or when thou feedst, eate Arsnicke,

Dye any way, so the law call not me

Thy murderer.

Car.

Heaven secure me, have you the use of all

Your sences, ye speake thus?

Con.

But if youle choose an easier way, each morning

Fetch a tedious sigh or two, twill make your

Heart to cleave, Ile give you cause enough to doe't.

Car.

You have a bloody mind.

Con.

Or as some Country Virgins doe scratch morter

From an aged wall and eate it up in

Private, so die on the greene disease, but now

I thinke upon't thats to perplex away,

Vnto the Grave.

Car.

I dare not hate the thought y'have tempted me,

Beyond mortall patience, oh unkind

Destiny.

Exit

Con.

Doe, fret, gall thy heart strings till they breake,

Ive the engine of a babe, any man

That had arrived at halfe my yeares, would soone

Invent a safe way to shift that trifle

From him. Hum, who shall I get to doe't.

Happy fancy, 'tis mature I will

Above it strait.

Exit.

Enter Depazzi, Laura, and Crispino.

De.

I sent you a Letter Maddam.

Lau.

My Lord I received it.

De.

How did you taste it?

Lau.

Excellently.

De.

I have twenty as good as that lying by me, have I not

Cris.

Oh my good Lord. (Crispino

[Page] De.

They shall be all at your service.

Lau.

Yare too much a Courtier, I must chide you

Signiour, I never did deserve the Epithets

Your paper throws upon me.

De.

Epithets I beseech you Madam to impute

That to the fretfullnesse of my braine,

If any thing have slipt my pen whereby I may incurre

Your Ladiships indignation Ile recant

It publickely.

Lau.

I enjoyne no such pennance,

But tis an injury easily remitted,

Tis the glory they say of Lovers to Hiperbolise.

De.

Hiperbolize, whats that? I ha not that word

Yet in my Alphabet, I hope Madam you

Hold a better opinion of me then to imagine

I would hiperbolize with your Lady-ship;

That were immodest.

Lau.

Not so Signiour.

De.

By my faith Madam but it is, de thinke

I know not what hiperbolizing is,

That were simplicity, if any thing

Within my Letter may be drawne within

Construction of hiperbolizing, condemne

Not me for't, by service Madam, I

Had no intention to stretch so farre

To your dishonour, it shall teach me wit

To write my Letters hereafter.

Cris.

A haire in your honours locke is disordered,

Tis rectified,

Lau.

Signiour,

You doe me much too much satisfaction,

Your errour being a small one.

De.

Tis your favour,

Yet when I commit a peccadillo

Against your brightnesse, I deserve to be

Extinguished your presence for't, I did love

You Madam, as I remember when I was an Infant,

Lau.

How.

[Page] Dep.

We are Infants you will grant

When we cannot speake, and I loved full eight moneths

And a halfe ere I had power to tell you on't

Ime certaine.

Lau.

I was not worth so much.

De.

Nay for that Madam

Ile shew my selfe deserving, were you worthy

Twere the lesse act of mine to love you,

That were a poore thing, I doe not stand on worth.

Madam I would not have you thinke so ignobly of me,

That I affect you for your worth, Ide rather

Vpon my honour have you in your smocke,

Than all the Ladies in the world starke naked.

Lau.

Now your language is course.

De.

You shall pardon me for that.

Cris.

Your Lordships fether waves to much toward the

Tis now in true point. (East,

De.

My love is pure and like the Sun transparent.

Lau.

Now you Complement, I know

Y'are excellent at it.

De.

Troth not I Lady,

I cannot Complement, I doe but

Refulgent your beauty, whose mellifluous voice

Peirces the eare—faith Madam credit me

I nere could complement in my life: Most faire,

Whom young Apollo courted for her haire.

There are poeticall furies in the City,

But I converse not with em.

Were ever cheekes of roses, locks of amber

Ordain'd to be imprison'd in a chamber,

Laura I doe but piddle, a pretender,

I know not how to Complement.

Lau.

You now doe.

De.

Alas not I, I cannot make verses neither;

Thy dainty seale of Virgin wax,

That nothing but impression lackes.

Cris.

Your Lordships cloake discovers not sufficiently the riches of the inside.

[Page] Lau.

An excellent Poet.

De.

Ile tell you Madam a strange thing, you see

These trifles; before I was in love, I could

Not ha made an Acrosticke in a day,

Sometimes two.

Lau.

Now you can make Chronograms.

De.

I thinke I can, and Anagrams for a need.

Lau.

Signiour you are wonderfull improv'd,

Love has inspir'd you richly. I perceive

Cupid is a mute too.

De.

Oh now I cannot sleepe for the multitude,

Of Verses that are capring in my skull.

Lau.

I wonder you are not mad.

De.

You may.

Cris.

A haire in your honours locke is disordered.

De.

But I've a gift to helpe it, I allow

My selfe set times to vent em, they would blow

Me up else.

Lau,

As how pray.

De.

Why thus ith' morning

When I have said my prayers in Verse, which fall

From me, and I nere thinke on em, next my heart

I scrible out an ode, after my breakefast

I fall upon a Satire, when I've rail'd

My selfe into a fresh stomacke, I dine,

Which done, because it is not good to study

Vpon repletion or full stomacke, you

Vnderstand me; for a matter of two houres

I dreame as it comports with our Italian

To sleepe, then I say, I dreame familiarly

An Heroicke Poem.

Lau.

Dreame.

De.

Madam while you live,

Your dreaming Poets are the best, and have

Distilled raptures, spirits that converse with em,

And teach em what to write; this I set downe

Before I eate againe, after I walke

Vpon the strength of Supper into th' parke,

[Page] And ruminate an Elegy at returne,

I doe discourse of Epigrams, and an Epitaph

Vpon some one or other of my kindred.

Enter Comachio, and Giotto.

I ha made a rare one on my Vncle, and

He would dye shortly to deserve it.

Com.

Whats that?

Lau.

If you so methodise your study Signiour

I shall but sinne against your muse, tis now

Your houre by course, for your heroicke Poem:

Twere best you sleepe my Lord, Ile take my leave.

De.

Nay Madam, tis not every day I study

So hard, on some I whet my muse

Cris.

Your Lordships weapon hangs to much a fore.

Com.

Thou hast my bosome, treasure up my secrets

Faithfully, and deserve I should be thine;

Giotto, the first opportunity

Commends thee to the Dutchesse, then's the time,

To shew thy gratitude, if she still looke on me

With lucky eyes.

Gio.

My Lord y'ave made

Your selfe the creditour of what I am;

If I returne you not the interrest

Of all my service, I should justly forfeit

To be unmade againe.

De.

Sweete Laura, world confounding beauty.

Lau.

Againe Hyperbolizing, then you Lordship

Must pardon me.

Exit.

De,

What's the signification of this word? hum.

Cris.

I have heard some say, to hyperbolize

Is to lye, and it may be she would not have

Your Lordship lye with her.

Com.

Signiour de patri, what part of your discourse

Concerned my death, I heard with Madam Laura

You name your Vncles dying.

De.

Twas with griefe then,

I had no cause to name you else my Lord.

Com.

Apply your selfe Nephew to this Gentleman,

[Page] And make him precious to you.

Exit.

Gio.

I shall study his honours service.

De.

Giotto.

Gio.

My Lord.

De.

You are a Scholler.

Gio.

I have lost time in Padua.

De.

Ile tell you a j [...]st a Gentleman ith Court

Writing a Letter to his Mistresse could not

Containe himselfe from hyperbolizing with her.

Gio.

Is your Lordship serious?

De.

True upon my honour, what a gull twas

To make himselfe ridiculous, I laugh'd at him,

Then he asked me what that word meant, Giotto

What doe you thinke on't?

Gio.

I my Lord,

Your honour needes no comment to informe you,

Much lesse my translation.

De.

Yes I knowt, but what sayes your Dictionarie.

Gio.

Your Lordship shal pardon me, for that hyperbolizing

De.

It is some baudy word, he is so modest,

Wherein did I hyperbolize with her Ladyship:

My Lord Volterre.

Enter Volterre.

Vol.

Signiour de Pazzi Comesta.

De.

I am transported to see your Lordship well.

Vol.

Io soy il uvestra servadore.

De.

Whats this?

Gio.

Betweene Goth and Vaundell, Spanish.

De.

And Giotto were not here now, I would aske him

What were hyperbolizing by your Lordships favour.

Vol.

Women are taken with the presence of

A man, the garbe, and ornaments of state

Endeere him to their senses, I would faine

Appeare in glorious habit can you dance?

De.

I were no Lord else, I was a French mans Scholler,

For twenty crownes a moneth, you may guesse by that

My abilities.

Vol.

Tis the best fooling, and the safest for

[Page] The body, your French glide away like Rivers,

Without a noise, and turning with Meanders,

Out move ye, your lofty trickes, are tude,

And doe to much examine.

De.

May we not rise,

I ha knowne good dancers rise at Court, what say you to

A cosse caper.

Vol.

Ride the Cannon, and you ha

No care to preserve your bonds, but I forget,

Adtos signiour, I must attend the Dutchesse.

De.

Doe not hyperbolize with her my Lord.

Vol.

Pardonate Signior mio.

De,

Tis so, tis baudy, that shrug tells me so, Giotto.

Gio.

Your honours servant.

De.

Were you never a Courtier before.

Gio.

I onely hitherto have spent my eyesight.

In observation, now I grow proud to write

My selfe dependant.

De.

Signiour Comachio my Vncle, lends you.

Gio.

But Ime not to learne

To adore the rising Sun, I looke on him

As in his West, but I've ambition

To merit your grace.

De.

I see then thou wot be a Courtier.

Enter Dutchesse, Comachio, Contarini, Volterre, Laura.

Dutch.

Comachio, shew me your Nephew!

Y'are welcome to Court my Lord.

De Pazzi kneeles, kisses her hand,

De.

It is your highnesse pleasure I should presume so,

And I am confident I may.

Dutch.

He has not onely profited in growth

Of person, but in's judgement too: talkes well,

Our Court wants such Comachio, your Nephewes

Contemplation ends here. Padua must

Loose him, he shall be our servant.

Com.

Shee jeeres him, and I gaine no credit by 't.

Keepe your tongue quiet, cease your abortive

Language, or Ile cut your throate.

[Page] De.

This is the tricke of all Courtiers,

They would engrosse Princes e'n to

Themselves, I must not speake to her.

Com.

This is the Gentleman, your grace was pleas'd

T'accept from my commends.

Leads Giotto to her, who kisses her har.

Dutch.

You are a Florentine.

Gio.

I am proud to owne my Country.

Dutch.

We have heard so much of your demerits,

That 'twere injustice not to cherish you,

Be confident, to gaine our best favour.

Gio.

I've often pray'd for this blessed houre, and thought

I did not sinne in my ambition.

It is a vertue to covet honour

From your excellence: which I shall ever

Study to deserve.

Dutch.

Laura begin your triall.

Laura whispers with Giotto Orseollo runnes in and kneeles.

Dutch.

This is a rude kinde of duty, speake your

Intention.

Ors.

Twice have I kneel'd to gaine your kindnesse in

My sute, now grant it, or ile turne Traitour.

Dutch.

Make your sute knowne.

Ors.

I have beene bred in rugged warres,

A womans governement is soft and fit

For Babes to bow to, dismisse streight your Court.

Dutch.

Orseollo, did not your offence breed mirth,

You should perceiv't more difficult to finde

A pardon fort.

Ors.

Send me streight to Sea, if but t'incounter

A fleet of fiends rigg'd by witches, or with

A colony to settle a Plantation

In the desarts of Barbary, Ile choose

Any employment rather then to heare a

Lady utter perfum'd breath, or see her

Advance in her masculine garbe, in her

New mimicke posture.

[Page] Dutch.

Leave us▪ but so, that in an houres space

We may command your presence here, to move

Our laughter, when leisure will permit it,

Or you shall never live to weare gray haires.

Ors.

Ile conspire with a constable, that commits

Iustice in's sleepe, ere Ile want treachery

To revenge this constraint of service.

Exit:

Com.

Your grace will beget charity in

Other Ladies, if you pardon this his

Bold behaviour, for he offends all women.

Dutch.

How Comachio.

Con.

Does not your excellence know, he is cald

The woman hater.

Dutch.

Deserves he that Epithite?

Vol.

Ile shew your highnesse the reall cause, why

He hates all women; he was ever bred

In the campe, where there are no females, but

Sutlers wives: fit drudges, to make fiers

Ith' devils kitchin, whose very lookes

Disparage the complexion of all their sex;

He nere converst with an Italian

Bona Koba, a plumpe Lady, that fils

Her growne, or with a French Bruvette,

A Spanish Muser umbrada, or a

Germane Yefrow, the Dutch.—

De.

Or with a Welsh—

Com.

Parrot! will ye be prating?

De.

What should a man doe withs tongue, an ye

Won't let him talke.

Dutch.

My Lord Volterre, is a copious linguist.

Vol.

I still desire to be enabled for

Your graces service.

Dutch.

Are all the sluces stop'd, that we may see

Your Cormorants dive for their prey?

Vol.

We onely want your highnesse presence there,

And the sport beginnes.

Dutch.

Comachio—

She whispers.

Con.

Signiour? these are your Cormorants, you still

[Page] Provide the Dutchesse new game, and pleasure:

She did you publicke grace, this morning too

Before the French leiger; but you ha travaild Sir.

Vol.

My Lord, the French conceive things with justice

Ime but an isorit du moude, and as

The Spaniard saies, Altera, estrabajo

Del hombre, but Ive observ'd her grace names

Contarini often, lookes on you with

A smooth brow.

Con.

On me my Lord?

Dutch.

Lead forward to the River.

Com.

My hopes doe still encrease, fate smiles on me.

Dutch.

Signiour De Patri, be you neere us.

Exit. Volt. Dep. Contar. Com. Dutch.

Lau.

Y'ave heard her graces will, this is the first

Imployment. She knowes you Florentines

Insinuate with great subtlety in

Humane natures.

Gio.

She shall receive each man in's just character,

Lau.

Sir I congratulate your new fortune,

Youle finde her excellence a noble mistresse.

Gio.

You are a gentle Lady, and adde much

Credit to her Court.

Laura.

We shall lose the sport unlesse we hasten

To the River.

Gio.

You have use of my attendance, and I am

Happy in't.

Exeunt Omnes.

Actus 3. Scaen. 1.

Enter Giotto, Dutchesse, Laura, Carintha.

Dutch.

YOu now shall stay at Court Carintha, see

Her very lips looke blacke. Saturnes issue.

Were not so dull and sullen.

Lau.

Madam sh'as great motives unto sadnesse

Which I've beene earnest with her to reveale,

[Page] But she conceales em as the vsurer doth

His treasure: striving to beguile noyse,

And lessen the number of his bagges with

His report.

Gio.

Lady, too soone you will deprive the world

Of your deere presence, if thus early you

Consume your houres in pensive thoughts!

Dutch.

Carintha, have I not power to increase

Your griefe; if you conceale the cause of it

From me?

Car.

I am not sad, my faculties preserve

Their wonted harmony: your excellence

Will not inforce me to belie my passion.

Enter Volterre.

Lau.

There's my Lord Volterre, ist your gracēs

Pleasure to retire till we have ended

Our discovery.

Dutch.

Is he come? Carintha, follow me!

Exeunt Dutchesse, Carintha.

Vol.

She gave the game high applause, and begg'd two

Of my Cormorants: I must invent new

Sports to delight her fancy.

Lau.

The day afford your Lop much profit.

Gio.

If your Lop be in good health, ye owe

Some thankes unto my prayers.

Vol.

Laura, the Dutchesse great favourite

Giotto, is eminent in Court too.

If these afford me such respect Ive cause

To thinke my starres faithfull? Madam I would

Kisse your left hand—

Lau.

I beseech your l [...]p enforce me not

To be unmannerly you are now above

My conversation.

Vol.

How bright Laura. Signior Giotto.

Pray cleere this mistery.

Gio.

My Lord, be more particular, for my

Owne part I know my distance, but you greete

Your Fortunes with too much humility,

[Page] You want state to converse with me.

Vol.

I me all wonder and amazement Signiour,

Pray give your meaning more perspicuous

Vtterance.

Gio.

Will you forget to be reserved, know your

Station, you make me bold against my owne

Desire.

Vol.

Howes this?

Gio.

I implore your Lordship leave I may be

Cover'd, 'twould much assist my health.

Vol.

Why, dost keepe thy head bare in reverence

To me? Madam, shall I intreate?—

Lau.

Tis in your power to command, in my

Duty to obey.

Vol.

Your duty—

Gio.

It seemes he hath not yet; how much thē

Dutchesse favours him— Volterre listenes.

Lau.

I conjecture so for e's differs much

From that which he must practise when he's Dukē

Vol.

I heare ye—

Lau.

How my Lord?

Vol.

Laura, faith be publiquē! Giotto, why

Dost thou conceale the meanes to make thee

Happy?—

Gio.

My Lord I know little, onely those that

Waite neere the Dutchesse, heare her often praise

Your nimble tongue, your skill in languages.

Vol.

Phse questo mionto, what would you say,

There me interpret the inorticulate

Voyces of birds, and beasts, that skill deserv'd

A fame.

Gio.

Your Lordship might then (with great ease) beene

Interpreter to the builders of Babel.

Lau.

Something I've heard her grace speake too, in praise

Of your French gesture, your sublime friske, and

Odde conveyance of your body.

Gio.

Tis when your Lordship wreathes your hams in thus.

Vol.

Ta da rum, ta da rum, te re re, ra da rum.

He dances.

[Page] Gio.

These are the postures that inchant your sex.

Lady—

Lau.

I cannot blame the Dutchesse to be fond.

Gio.

But does not your lop grow weary with

Continuance of this motion?

Vol.

It is my vulgar exercise ta da rum, ta da rum.

Gio.

Enough, enough, my good Lord, sure your swim

Within your doublet.

Vol.

Giotto, now I am fit for a race,

Never tyr'd. It has beene thought by some (skild

In th' ability of my person) that

Ime mortall.

Gio.

Indeed sir tis not fit you should ēxpect

Much in heaven, having such joy on earth.

You are more than happy, this Lady knowes it.

Vol.

Do'st ifaith Laura—

Lau.

Sir, I hope when you shall sit invested

With Royall ornaments, you'le not disdaine

Laura for your humble servant.

Gio.

And Giotto knowes that your Religion

Will not permit you slight industry.

Vol.

I tooke part o' my breeding ith' French Court▪

And there I learnt to be familiar

With my Nobles.

Lau.

Did not I say he would govērne gently,

Now can't my tongue be quiet, I must tell him all.

Gio.

Nay Madam—

Vol.

Giotto, dost concerne you to hinder

This her kindnesse? speake deare Lady.

Lau.

My Lord I affect truth and brevity,

I am commanded by her grace to make

Your visits private to her.

Vol.

Hah, forward deere Laura.

Gio.

Why sir, it is her highnesse will that you

Conceale these visits.

Lau.

And let no encouragement neither from

Her eyes nor speech imboldne ye to thinke

Vnlawfull, her favours you must take

[Page] With silent observation.

Enter Comachio.

Gio.

Here comes my Lord Comachio. Away signiour

He must not see you.

Vol.

Yo soy mug juoderose.

Exe. Volterre, Laura

Gio.

My noble Patron.—

Com.

I greete thee as my best genius, th'art now

Mixt ith' number with such as weare my title,

Thou climb'st apace, yet safely too; they strive

At Court, who first shall be the flatterer:

What female wast that left thee now? I saw

Part of her gowne.

Gio.

The Lady Laura.

Com.

Thou art most happy, skilfull in thy choyse

Of conversation: why she governes

Her highnesse heart. Didst question her

About my businesse?

Gio.

I know all, she cannot hide a single

Thought from me.

Com.

Thart strangely powerfull o're Ladies,

But what said shee? have I no Rivall in

The Dutches love.

Gio.

Sir, she ownes none but you, with a publike

Confidence, onely there is owne impediment.

Com.

What ist? prethee give't relation?

Gio.

A spirit not tam'd by his religion

Would hazard much rather then suffer it

Indanger such a hope.

Com.

Make it no morē a secrēt.

Gio.

Could ye thinke she has observ'd your Nephew

With an amorous eye.

Com.

De pazzi, my Nephēw?

Gio.

Thats the man sir, who is so much oblig'd

Vnto her memory.

Com.

Sdeath this inclines so neere miracle

T'would taxe my judgement to beleeve it;

Conferre her love upon a foole.

Gio.

Pardon me sir! I doe not positively

[Page] Say she loves him. I make it (for your sake)

A cautulous suspect your jealous men

Strive against danger.

Com.

I doe affect thy discipline.

Gio.

This morning she desir'd to speake with him.

Com.

To speake with him - good our braines are nere us,

Ere thou admitst him to her presence, weele

Furnish him with discourse, preposterous

Vnto sence, and her demands; so make him

More cheape in her conception, here he comes.

Enter De Pazzi.

Assist my prayers.

De.

Signiour Vncle,

Com.

Nephew oppertunely

Signiour Giotto hath taken paines

To bring us knowledge of new graces, which

Our Dutches stores up for you, I am proud

To thinke what honour all our blood receives

From you, the toppe bough of our family:

I never hop'd there could be starres in heaven

So auspitious, as I behold now shining,

And pointing all their golden beames on you,

The Dutchesse loves you—

De pazzi, hum.

Gio.

Not carelessely, and with that common favour,

She does divide among the Courtiers,

They doe but gleane her scattered graces,

For you the harvest's reserv'd and brought

Home to your bosome.

De pazzi hums.

Com.

Other with much labour.

Clime this high rocke, upon whose swelling top,

The Dutches smiles are placed, yet obtaine not

One to reward their sweate.

De pazzi hums.

Gio.

But her owne hand

Reaches you up, and tempts you to enjoying

The Perimids height, you may ascend by stayres,

And mount with ease unto that happinesse,

Others adore afarre off.

De.

Does the Dutchesse

[Page] Affect me honourably, and for marriage otherwise?

Com.

That makes the Musicke high, it were not else

So ravishing, you are the man mark'd out

To be the Duke Depazzi.

Gio.

Thats her desire,

She would not like a theife steale joyes, but make

The pleasures lawfull, nuptiall holy rites,

Vshering your felicity, you must be

Her Husband Signiour, and all we your subjects,

Obsequious to your nod, when you have breath

To raise t'unlimitted height, and uncreate

Whom you would frowne upon.

De.

I see shee is wise,

Com.

How will Comachio thinke his age blest, to see

Princes borne to his Nephew, and with breath

Covetous to expire in prayers for them.

Gio.

Kneele there great Vncle,

I have an ambition

If you thinke not the honour over great,

To beg tuition of your second sonne,

Whom I should study to bring up, with such

Choyce education, as shall become

The greatnesse of his soule and birth.

De.

Tis granted, my second sonne is thine, but are you sure

I am ordain'd to be the man you talke of;

Must I be cran'd up to that altitude.

Gio.

My Lord

You may be confident, Giotto dares not

Play with your greatnesse, and my dare was never

Yet so incertaine, when I heare your name

So sweetened by your Dutchesse breath.

De.

No more, I have a strong faith, tis so, for my Vncle

Doth practise already his observance, I

Purpose to visit our loving Dutchesse.

Gio.

Nay you will be sent for and be courted to

That was intimated.

Com.

But my honoured Nephew

Would you admit instructions, for I see

With how much envy of the Court you rise

To this high sphere of soveraignety, be prudent,

[Page] Arme your selfe with some excellent discourses (thoughts.

For your first parly, you shall knit her soule to your owne

Gio.

If my abilities may doe you service.

Com.

Giotto, you are furnished to read Lectures

To us both of Courtship, and I know my Nephew

Will gratefully remember, what you adde

To raise him to our wishes.

Gio.

I desire to be a banquerout of knowledge, when

My portion may enrich you.

De.

Should you lose

Your braine signiour in my service, you

Should finde I would requite you.

Com.

At his first entrance to her graces presence

Something new and sublime, t'insinuate

How much she hath consulted with her best

Wisedome, when she elected one so meriting,

To be her husband.

Gio.

So with one argument

He magnifies her judgement, and his worth.

De.

I like that well, if you doe pen that speech

Commend me pray unreasonable, I shall study it.

Gio.

That must be, to this we may guesse she will

Reply, my Lord, I could misse in such a troope

Of Deservers to choose out the ablest.

Meaning my Nephew.

De.

I know that, who else?

Gio.

Hence take you fresh occasions to extoll

Your selfe, and be not nice to let her know

Your active blood, and spirit to get Princes,

How much the people will be bound to blesse

Her race in choosing you, whose promising body

Is able to incite them to make bonfires

For Dukes unborne.

De.

Great reason, proceed.

Gio.

It will be necessary you disparage all men

That are about her, though your Vncle, he

Will suffer to advance you.

Com.

Who my Nephew?

[Page] De.

Let me alone to disgrace him.

Gio.

It gives you lustre principally remember

To raile against her Ladies, call em hags,

You cannot be too bitter, this secures

Your love toth' Dutchesse, beats of jealousie

When you appeare to love her onely of

All the sex.

De.

It will be a good occasion to beate off

Laura, to whom I did pretend my selfe

A Lover excellent, pray let me have all these

Directions in manuscripts, Ile not see her

Till they be rotten in my head.

Com.

Giotto, bindus both to you, this will do't,

Art cannot shape him more ridiculous,

These are rare principles. Here's Contarini.

Enter Contarini, Dandalo.

Gio.

Remove your selfes: tis not fit he see ye.

Exeunt Comachio, Depazzi.

Signiour Contarini, your minute is expir'd.

Con.

I crave your pardon signiour, have you learnt

From Laura ought that concernes my knowledge.

Gio.

I have cause to intreate my intelligence.

I am your pensioner, you have enriched

My stable with a Barbary Roane.

A gift I am ignorant to requite;

I must returne great thankes too, from the

Lady Laura, for the wealthy Carbanet

You sent her last night.

Con.

I me yet indebted to you both: Signiour

You are skilled in my affaire: the noyse still

Continue, our great Dutchesse will elect

A husband from her owne Court, Ile onely

Know the man; that so I may direct my

Observance the right way, you will call this

An honest pollicy.

Gio.

Your contemplations are too humble.

Con.

You Signiour?

Gio.

Ere I would thinke another worthier then

[Page] My selfe, to bearē a soveraigne title;

I would disclaime my judgement and runnē madde.

But there's a crosse barre to your ambition,

(Heaven excuse my sorrow for it?) you are

Marryed, you have a wife.

Con.

Sir, I beseech you give your meaning more expression

Gio.

Has the Dutchesse any name within her memory,

So much as Contarinies?

Are not you he whose feature she admires?

Nay Sir, it is not long since Laura heard

Her wish you were unmarryed: Interpret

My relation as you please;

But you know Princes are reserved. Whats he?

My servant Signiour, he has modest eares

And a quiet tongue. Dandalo, you may

Stay here, I shall use thy consent in a businesse.

Dan.

I waite your pleasure.

Con.

But did her grace wish I werē unmarryēd?

Gio.

By no itteration that breedes noyse.

Con.

Well, I allow of her graces wish.

Gio.

How my Lord?

Con.

If my marriage discontent her highnēsse:

I wish I had no wife—

Gio.

He has a noble soule! is there no way

To avoid this trifle called a wife.

Con.

Yes Signiour, there are waies, but—

Gio.

O sir, discharge your minde, it concernes my

Prēferment to be faithfull.

Con.

Troth, were all impediments cleared, I thinke

We two should rule equally;

Ime strangely fond to those I love.

Gio.

Signiour you have given me cause to know it.

Con.

If I could sue out a divorse——

Gio.

I signiour, but the judge grants nonē without a

lawfull cause.

Con.

Shēe shall commit adultery.

Gio.

With whom?

Con.

Giotto, that I am comē to tell thee.

[Page] Shees a beautious Lady, soft and buxsome?

Thou shalt lye with her.

Gio.

I, my Lord?

T'were an indeerement too great for my rēquitall.

Con.

Tis decreed, come, it must be so.

Gio.

Signiour, I shall beg your pardon.

Con.

I keepe my mercy for another use,

Suspect no danger, you shall come disguis'd

When you wooe her too't, which done, the Dutchesse

Shall helpe my procurement of a divorce:

Why, I knew before, her highnesse lov'd me!

I have received favours from her lookes and and speech.

Gio.

Does not your man listen?

Con.

No matter, hees our confederate.

Dandalo know this Gentlemans hands

And kisse em often.

Dan.

Ime his humble crēature.

Gio.

I shall be glad to shew you kindenēsse.

Con.

Lets perfect our designe, good signiour

I have no leasure now to ruminate,

I affect action.

Exeunt.

Enter Laura, Carintha, Sancho.

San.

Madam, I ha signified to my Lord

What you commanded, but I hope your Ladiship

Hath heard his disposition.

Lau.

He's not reconciled to our sex,

He has proclaim'd that.

San.

This place breedes no Ladies,

No not for civill entertainement, we

Have not a woman in the house, their pictures

Which adorne other gallaries, you see

Tempt not the eye here, all his offices

Discharged by men, he saies where he commands

He must not see a woman.

Car.

What not strangers?

San.

Such is his will.

Lau.

How then?

San.

If you desire his presence and discourse,

[Page] You must be vail'd here Madam, his owne eye

Must not be witnesse to what face he speakes,

Ime but his servant.

Lau.

Tell him Ile expect him in that forme hē

Prescribes.

San.

The other Lady too

Must be clouded, then Ile let his Lordship

Know y'are prepared.

Lau.

Pray doe Madam, I hope

Your discontent will give you leave to smile

At this, her grace found you but this employment,

With me, to beate your melancholly off,

Apply to the occasion.

Car.

My gratitude will teach me to conforme.

Enter Orseollo, Sancho.

Ors.

Now Ladies whats your pleasures, that you summon

My appearance, I know ye ha supple joynts,

What mistery of state sends you to me?

I cannot revell in long stockings, friske

To please your wanton eye-sight; I nere bosted

'My ribs, or largenesse of my thighs, t' invite you;

I make no Sonnets of your anticke dressings,

Cry up your colour of your face, and sweare

Y'are divine peeces, for I know you are not:

I will not draw heavens curse upon me, for

Flattering into pride; say that the Lillies,

Are pale, for envy of your white, and the Roses

Blush, to see better in your cheekes, your haire

Beames, rather drawne up to a net, might catch

Iove when he plaid the Eagle; that your brests

Raise up themselves like two faire Mountainers

Ith' pleasant vale of temptation, I hate this

I will not dam my selfe to make you proud,

Doe not, I know your faces?

Lau.

Ours, we are not ashamed to shew em.

Ors.

Doe not unvaile.

San.

Good Madam.

Car.

Will you not see what you condemne?

[Page] Ors.

Ime gone, if you attempt to let me seē

A peece of any countenance; while I thus

Looke on ye, I can helpe my selfe t'imagine

Ye are some other creatures.

Lau.

Troth my Lord, for pitty to your selfe

End your invectives;

Madam I told you of this mirth.

Car.

Can he be serious?

Ors.

Wracke me not with your stay,

Whats the designe hath brought you hither?

Lau.

This Signiour; tis the Dutchesse pleasurē

You make suddaine repaire to Court.

Ors.

Lau.

That's our Embassie.

Ors.

I am no Court physitian, I but vexē

Your female constitutions, you know

All my receipts are bitter, and her excellēncē

Hath plenty of those, she gives a pension to

Can flatter; why does she send for me am so

Vnwelcome?

Lau.

My Lord, her grace employes

Not me to any so unhappy:

And though you have not liv'd so neere the favour,

Ith' eye of the Court, which your owne humour too

May have beene the cause, I have no honour, if

You finde your selfe unwelcome,

Ors.

Tis a mistery.

Lau.

I could instruct you further with a secret,

Your soule would dance to know, but I confesse

Tis more then my commission:

Ors.

Is there in nature any happinesse for mē?

Lau.

And from a woman: you will come my Lord?

Ors.

Stay, from a woman, ha? the Dutchesse—

Heard a noyse she would chuse a Lover from

Her owne Court, can it be that? death I havē

Beene boundlesse in my railing. I begin

To curse my selfe fort.

San.

Be all silence,

[Page] Thou hast a knowledge will be dangerous

To any hope, perhaps, I could be pleased

To see the tip o' your nose Lady,

Or the mole upon your chinne.

Lau.

You will have cause to blesse the occasion

Of this dayes message.

Ors.

I could see your cheeke,

Nay halfe your face for tother sillable.

Lady you can say more,

Car.

I dare not signiour, already we have exceeded.

Ors.

I know such creatures cannot mocke, sweete Lady.

Lau.

Have you not heard her graces resolution,

Touching a husband?

Ors.

Your are o're darke still, enrich me,

Lau.

I hope your honour will remember this poore service when tis done.

Ors.

What? one Letter of your meaning.

Lau.

My Lord the Dutchesse loves you.

Ors.

Ha?

Lau.

Come Madam, I shall say you will waite.

Ex.

Ors.

Shall I not see the faces,

To which I owe my blessednesse.

San.

No words of those loose creatures in your custody,

Seale up the doores, still the aire least that

Creepe out too soone, and kill my growing fate.

Exeunt.

Actus 4. Scaen. 1.

Enter Dutchesse, Laura, Carintha.

Dut.

VVAs not Orseollo's humour, recreation

To thee Carintha?

Car.

I spent all my thoughts

In wonder Madam.

Dutch.

He began to soften—

Lau.

We tam'd his Tiger violence, not Magicke

[Page] Enter Giotto.

Could force him like the charme you sent.

Dutch.

Giotto? What speakes your hast?

Geo.

Comachio Madam, and signiour Depazzi.

Dutch.

Vsher em in.

Car.

Something in such a plenty may delight

Your dulled fancy.

Enter Depazzi, Comachio.

De.

Laura, remoove your selfe,

Doe not ecclipse the splendor of that Sunne.

My Eagles eye must gaze at. Vncle know

Your distance.

Dutch.

Signiour Depazzi.

De.

Giotto, my hand agen, be proud, now Madam

I addresse my selfe to you, wonderfull Princesse,

Not so much for your beauty as your wisdome,

Your carnall wisdome.

Dutch

Wherein Signiour.

Com.

Good.

De.

Right you answer, right it is my qu:

Your carnall wisdome Madam, you proclaime

In choosing out a husband, and that man

Whose memory your subjects shall have cause

To curse, is I.

Dutch.

To curse?

De.

Perfect still, have cause to curse,

You did no sooner choose him, which of all

Your faire Lords, though you looke a squint upon

My merit, could your eye picke out more able?

Heroicke, compleat, tempting? I am flesht,

Nothing shall put me out.

Gio.

Observe.

De.

Your grace saies right, I doe acknowledge it.

Gio.

You are too hasty, her grace saies nothing.

De.

Did your grace say nothing? speake it againe,

I know you meant to say something to th' purpose.

Dutch.

What purpose signiour?

De.

Now she has put me quite out.

[Page] Gio.

Then raile upon your Vncle.

De.

Looke on him Madam, there he stands, you may

Perhaps imagine him for his gray beard

And a starched face, that he is wise a statist:

Ile bring ye a justice, thats but newly pack'd

Into commission, oth' peace, shall make

An asse on him.

Com.

Nephew, this will make you odious.

De.

A very gull in mistery of state,

A most egregious—in comparison

Of one that I could name, but he may serve

To fright the pages, muster the blacke guard,

Or keepe the doore at maskes, his face will doe

More then a hundred others; yet now I thinke on't,

Your grace shall magnifie your favour to me,

And let me begge him.

Dutch.

Ha, ha.

Com.

I hope your grace will pardon him, these fits

Are ever at full Moone.

Lau.

Begge your Vncle Signiour?

De.

Yes I would furnish him with an

Houreglasse and a sithe;

And sell him to the Masons for the picture

Of time, Madam, would he not shew well?

Dutch.

This is witty, what detractour

Gave out Signiour Comachio, your Nephew

Had no rich braine, Carintha, doe you nold him

Laura, Comachio, ha?

De.

Giotto, she has put me out agen,

Gio.

Then raile upon her Ladies,

De.

Hum, when I contemplate on your highnesse face

I hate all others.

Com.

Can your excellence.

Dutch.

Why, is mine so bad?

De.

I beseech your grace, speake your part right,

Oblivion is my qu. I doe remember.

Com.

Madam Carintha, speake to her grace.

De.

Has Madam Laura such I lip or eye?

[Page] I doe confesse she has a nose, but I

Passe over it.

Gio.

He makes a bridge of that,

De.

Her cheekes,—

Com.

Nephew—Madam I humbly pray I may remove

This rudenesse, tis a discord must needes grate

Your soft eare,

De.

Vncle you are out now, her cheekes.

Lau.

Well Signiour, what of my cheekes.

De.

Why your cheekes are, as they are, death, I ha forgot.

This tis when you won't come t'rehearsall.

Lau.

My cheekes are

Such as creation fram'd em, and the colour

Is natures gift.

De.

It had need be gift, I know none so prodigall

To be at charge to buy em, yet you thought

I was in love w'ye, I confesse I did

Once cherish an opinion you were something

About a gipsie, and might serve in Lent

When flesh was rare, but you must take into

Your thoughts, I meant not honestly, you see

For whom fate hath reserv'd me, be as patient

As such a losse will suffer you, doe not marre

Your face, cause I condemne it, it may serve

Some hungry signiour, or some City heire

That would be dabled in nobility,

And pay for his cornuting.

Dutch.

He is most witty Carintha.

Com.

Giotto, she is taken with this imprudence,

What dulnesse hangs upon her soule? some fatall

Appoplexy seise him, that which we

Plotted to make him hatefull does inchant her.

De.

Madam, you see I have a body, ponderous

And full of marrow, Ile not get an heire

Lesse hopefull then my selfe, my first sonne shall be

An Emperour borne, may I doe things to purpose

When I am in once.

Com.

Will not this startle her?

[Page] Lau.

Sure Madam, he will put downe Hercules.

De.

Hercules, Hercules, what, a Pedlar.

Gio.

Pedler, my Lord you would say pidler.

De.

He shall be what I please, doe not I know Hercules,

He got but fifty in a night, but I—

Madam your eare.

Com.

My duty to your grace, makes me forget

He is my kinsman.

Dutch.

Signior Depazzi,

We have leasure to heare you finish your discourse

With Laura and Carintha.

Com.

He's courted to her privacy, her soule is

In a deepe Lethargie.

Gio.

Ha?

What was intended to destroy his hope,

Hath raisd him to assurance, she applauds

That which to all understanding but her owne,

Appeares prodigious, did you suspect

She would heare this prate?

Com.

He had committed sinne enough to have had

His lips sow'd up eternally, death, I could

Grow into death with wonder.

Gio.

She check'd you for interrupting.

Com.

A fury revels in my braine, shee's mad,

And so am I, but—

Gio.

What for prevention,

If she have such a poverty in her reason,

Ith' humour she may marry him, and then

Beside the mighty fortune lost, you grone

Vnder his tyranny.

Com.

In his blood Ile bathe

My feares, a ship lanch'd forth with all her wings,

Be calmed thus.

Gio.

Ile digge the remora

That hangs upon the barke, this foole wo'd not

Be mised among the living, rather then—

Com.

Th'art my genious sacred directour

To my blisse.

[Page] Gio.

I ha so much suffering

In your ungentle starres, that I would purchase

Their better influence with my danger.

Com.

How I feele my heart incorporate with thine,

What doe I owe to heaven for sending me

Thy friendship, say, shall this thing be removed,

Giotto, that so ruines me.

Gio.

Shall: there is

A most severe necessity, you must not

Be conscionable now; and charity

Vnto your selfe, will drowne the sinne:

Enter Depazzi, Laura.

Retort disgrace t'your hate.

De.

I shall extend my favour, where I see

Merit invite, perhaps commend you to

Some other Lord; Vncle, you shall continue

Your place; Giotto finde out a monopoly,

It shall besign'd.

Com.

I congratulate your high fortune,

I knew t'wod take.

Exit. De. Com.

Enter Orseollo, Sancho.

Lau.

Here's a pretty front,

Signiour Orseollo, stay till I am valid.—

Ors.

Nay, good Madam, I can indure to see

Your face, without danger to my eyes—Signiour

Giotto, I joy in your great fortunes.

Gio.

They shall inable me to doe you service.

Lau.

My Lord, you cherish my instructions,

Y'are come earlier then your houre.

Ors

I'd faine know my destiny; Madam Ime rough.

The warres have spoilt my Courtship; I cannot

Flatter kindnesse from you; but I affect

Gratitude. What newes Lady, hah? has there

Beene no mention of my name or person

Since I receiv'd your last intelligence?

Lau.

I know nothing but what I am enjoyn'd

To make a secret.

Ors.

How deere Lady.

[Page] Lau.

Giotto, shall I tell him that?

Gio.

Not for both the Indies.

Ors.

But she shall Giotto, she and wee be kinde,—

Madam,—we three will share in all atchievements.

Lau.

I cannot hide it from him.

Gio.

Are you weary of your life Lady?

My hopes are finished.

Lau.

The Dutchesse has commanded him to get

Your picture for her.

Gio.

Who'ld trust a secret in a womans brest?

My Lord, as you esteeme our loves usefull

Let no eare enjoy this but your owne.

Ors.

I will forget I heard it; I, I me a souldier

Signiour, and shall deserve your faith. Sancho!

San.

My Lord!

Ors.

Theres a famous Painter sojornes here

In Mantua, a Germane!

San.

Shadan wierex.

Ors.

The same, you are to seeke him out, I have

Vse for him.

Gio.

Already you begin to make it publike.

Ors.

Doe not suspect my servants silence, I

Trust him with a secret of weightier

Consequence then this, my creature! hunk▪

Lau.

Your hopes increase Signiour.

Ors.

Give me thy hand, Giotto, thine too:

Weele governe like the Triumveri—

Lau.

But sir, there is one obstacle—

Ors.

What ist?

Gio.

Ile loose a Thumbe to have it cleer'd.

Ors.

Heart, let me but know't?

Lau.

Y'have heretofore appeared so boysterous

And sullen to that sex, that the Dutchesse

Partly thinkes—

Ors.

What does she thinke?

Lau.

Y'are insufficient.

Ors.

How? a metophrase upon that word.

Gio.

Sir t'would impeach her modesty t'expresse

[Page] Her meaning, ith' blunt dialect, however

Twill become my tongue; there's a noise amongst

The Ladies, y'are insufficient: that is

Your genitalls want the perfect helpe in

Procreation.

Ors.

Horror, horror, name the authour of this

Calumny.

Gio.

Be not so loud signiour, were it a truth

Twould not proclaime nature, or your parents

Guilty, you are a soldier, perhaps in

A skirmish at Lepauto, some Turke

Circumcised you with his semiler;

Or being at push a pike, you might be

Drill'd below the navell, nay I ha knowne

The breath of a bullet snatch a remnant

Of loose flesh.

Ors.

Sdeath insufficient! you shall know a secret

Which I have fear'd, even ith' keeping o' my owne heart.

Gio.

Twill trouble me to know a thing, so full

Of danger.

Ors.

Tis onely dangerous to me, but sir,

It must out, for Ile stifle now this dam'd

Aspersion. It reveales the cause, why I

Was still a satire against women.

Lau.

I, that I would faine know.

Ors.

Know what Lady? we are in a discourse, meerely,

Concernes us two, walke aside, she must not heare't.

Sancho, I now release off the Oath,

Which did oblige your secresie about

My continence, nay good Madam, troth we

desire to be particuler.

Lau.

Hereafter I shall grow reserved too.

Ors.

A personall secret, as Ime a souldier.

Gio.

You shall beleeve him Lady for my sake.

Ors.

How many whores hast thou in keeping for my use?

San.

Some ten my Lord!

Gio.

You passe my beleefe.

Ors.

'Las, Ime insufficient! a meere Eunuch, I.

[Page] Gio.

But what urged your invectives gainst the Sex,

Since you thus cherish them in private!

Ors.

The Dutchesse has a chast court: 'twas safty

To disguise m'incontinence, least she should

Punish it.

Gio.

Y'are not so ravinous (my Lord) but when

Your friend desires a taste, he may be furnished, hah?

Ors.

You shall visit my seragho, and chose your whore.

Gio.

May I presume—

Ors.

That's the medicinall pimpe; who prescribes

Plaisters for my belly.

Gio.

You maintaine him in a gaudy outside.

Ors.

His sinnes mainetaine him; those of his function.

Grow mighty now adayes.

Gio.

Lady you shall share in our secret,

Ors.

Are you mad Signiour?

Gio.

My Lord you are to modest: theres no errour

So readily excused by Ladies as this

O'th blood. Fame has abused our noble friend:

Not Hercules was more inabled for

Increase; then he.

Lau.

Indeed Signiour?

Gio.

Indeed? why Madam, doe you doubt that I

Bely him, Ime sure he keepes tenne whores.

Ors.

Slight, you are treacherous.

Gio.

She cries indeed, as if she did suspect

You can proffer like a Goate, and performe

Like an Elephant.

Lau.

This was you that railed against women.

Fye my Lord.

Ors.

Troth Madam, my constitution is to blame.

But a young sinner deserves mercy.

Gio.

Your lustinesse redresse you more hopefull

To the state. Give me a Prince from whose loynes

We may expect issue.

Ors.

Howsoever I would not have the Dutchesse know

Of this; till I am more indeere unto

Her heart.

[Page] Gio.

Does not her happinesse, and mine depend

Vpon your fate?

My Lord, be confident of my silence.

Her grace is now in the privy garden.

Walke you thither, and receive those favours,

Her lookes administer: without reply

Of gratitude, she would not have it knowne

She loves you.

Ors.

Enough I shall be polliticke.

Exeunt Orseollo, Sancho,

Lau.

Was there ever such a wanton Hipocrite?

Gio.

He Neighs like a horse. I am not cosend

In him, I still thought he was a lecher.

Enter Contarini.

Con.

Signiour Giotto.

Gio.

My good Lord?—

Lau.

Tis my chiefe blessing to see your Lordship

In good health—

Con.

I thanke you noble Lady.

Lau.

Ile goe pray to have it still continued.

Exit.

Con.

What meanes this great observance, tis beyond

My merit. Dost not admire her graces

Favorite should use me thus?

Gio.

These female Courtiers ha the tricke on't.

Con.

What signiour?

Gio.

Tis safe Idolatry to bow unto

The rising sonne, shee sees your fortune smile,

And therefore flatters ye.

Heaven knowes, I neare

Shall gaine by Courtship, I

Though all the Heraulds

Called thee Duke, Ile not kisse your hand

Vnlesse 'twere cleane.

Con.

Thou hast heard some newes.

Declare, come, declare,

And prosper.

Gio.

My Lord, I first should chide your tardinesse

In action. First now I saw your wife at Court,

[Page] Attending on the Dutches: Onely she

Defeates your hope; yet her removall from

Your bed is not design'd.

Con.

I have sent her to my house, provided you

A rare disguise which you shall weare, and wooe

Her body to the darke deed, my man shall

Witnesse her adultery; and Ile sue out

A divorce; whilst you remaine safe from law,

Because not knowne to her.

Gio.

Why this I like, it tastes of sublime wit.

Enter Orseollo.

Ors.

I will be active in my reigne, in large

My Dutchy. Genon is proud, it shall

Grow humble I have a long arme, 'twill reach

Florence. Or if I chance to lay my hand on Parma

I shall gripe it till my fist ake, ere I

For sake my tenure.

Con.

Orseollo.

Ors.

Your greeting's too familiar!

Con.

From whence this pride, Ile anger him.

My Lord, though I am growne above the use

Of Poetry, there still remaines in my

Remembrance a Sonnet, made in praise of

Women; Which if youle please to heare—

Ors.

He had a bold Muse, that durst undertake

So high an argument, sure a woman

Was the object, strucke old Homer blinde;

And for his eyes left him a Muse. I've lost

My businesse.

Exit.

Con.

He was not wont to speake so well of women.

Gio.

No humorist is constant to dislike,

Or commendation.

Nay lead the way my Lord:

Ime part of your attendance.

Exeunt. Omnes.

Enter Volterre, Depazzi, Crispino.

Vol.

Signiour my affaires hither require haste,

The Dutchesse (on some sudden cause) hath sent for me.

De.

I beleeve tis to take's advise about

[Page] A Masine for my wedding, hee's excellent

At Revels. On my good Lord.—

Vol.

You come lately from her, and I would know,

How you approve her present lookes. Tis the Art

Of forraigne Courtiers to visite Princes,

In lucky minutes; when their gesture shewes

Em pleasant. How lookes her grace to day: Is,

She not physicall, but high and jocond?

De.

You may without danger of your fortune

Choose this minute for conference with her grace.

Signiour th'as cause to cleare her lookes; Her thoughts

Grow easie to her, she had found out the man;

The man, that must: more might be said: but then

More must be spoke—

Vol.

Slight; why this to me; how comes he to know

That I am he, her highnesse aimes at? True

The man is knowne: nor is his worth concealed.

De.

Worth Signiour!—None but Laura gave him

Notice, Ime the man, I neare spoke of it

My selfe. My Lord, the man may with safety

Boast, he is the best deserver in the Court. hum.

Vol.

Your Lordship does him too much right, tis certaine,

He has beene told that I am he.

De.

He hath a glorious feature too.

Vol.

Nay good signiour, comely; but not glorious.

De.

How not glorious, speake that agen.

Vol.

This is a pretty kinde of flattery,

He will not suffer me to abuse my selfe.

Ile admit he charmes the Ladies? or so—

De.

That's I; for I charme the Ladies. He knowes

I shall be Duke, it cannot be conceal'd.

Vol.

The man has travaild too.

De.

Never I. But it seemes the Dutchesse gives

It out so: the more to honour her choyse

Signiour; I must doe you justice▪ the Court

Speakes you most accurate, ith' Spanish garbe.

Vol.

The Spaniards (signiour) reserves all passion,

To expresse his feeling in accurences

[Page] Of statē, when in discourse; his Tooth-picke still

Reaches out a Tooth-picke,

Is his parinthasis: which he doth manage

Subtly thus— Par les santos sennor—

Lo conosco portierto—porque es

Trabaso (conlicenzia diuvestra alteza)

Hablas muchas palabeas—

No puedo en veridad—

De.

But why those things Signiour?

Vol.

This elevation oth' shoulders is a

Polliticke gesture, declares a meaning hid;

Which you may finde out if you can: and is

Often used in triviall circumstances.

I question this your Man——

Cris.

Your Lordship must speak my mothers tongue then.

Vol.

Is Don Diego within?

De.

Stay slave, weele be as politicke as he—

Which don Diego doe you meane? he that plaide

The sloven in the great Church. The English

Have a Proverbe on him.

Vol.

Why not he of Valder, or any other Diego?

De.

Be not inraged (my Lord) those grave shrugs appēare

Vnmannerly, and would before Ladies,

Ingender a suspect of vermine.

Vol.

Then Ile prefer (sir) the French to your

Dislike or praise: whom though a surly Don,

Calls an impertinent people; giddy

Trifles? yet in my esteeme they merit

Highly. They are active even in discourse

Let us beginne cheerely, No matter

On what slight or triviall subject; Be it

On that single melancholly haire upon

Your chinne. Rise and fall by my example.

De.

I am prepaired.

Vol.

Mounsier, sil adirent que ete cheveil la sera brusle; que farions nous

Avec vostre menton: poucce que le Roy.

De.

Mounsieur be not troubled! banish your feare,

[Page] For Ile tosse th' Antarticke pole

With like ease as Hercules could a bulrush.

Make it a secret.

Vol.

O vy da', Ie slay bien que la volente, doit esere est eme [...] pour facit: mais quond

Ie vous donneray an cheque naude prenez lamanie, que celus, que tombe

Gaigneray un pas; pour reu, que ce veleve—

De.

Troth, I know not, may be it was a mistake in Plato, for those pinnes and feathers which you talke of, are usefull unto Ladies. Besides tis well knowne, the man ith' Moone will not permit excuse in businesse of this kinde: Tis dangerous to law, and reason.

Vol.

Ie ne le croy pas, cesee un chanson dumonde.

De.

So I was told by one that knowes the Kings heart? he came hither to cheapen Ginger bread, for the Mogols daughter.

Vol.

Est i' possibile? Il in a aucun chose ci dificile, mais je le prenderay tant tose.

De.

Do'st ifaith, know then all the Lyons in Barbary shall not contrary me in this way.

Vol.

How doe you like it Signiour?

De.

T'as put me into a heate, and French heates arē not

Very wholesome. But I've heard how nimbly

You dispose your person in a French Curvet!

Vol.

I know your minde; but my body is now prepaired

For a high visit. My joynts moves by screwes,

Ime so starched together; a dance would

Loosen me, and make me fall in rumples.

Your man is well build for such a motion,

Marke tis onely thus—and thus—

Cris.

I ha seene your Lordship doe it ta da rum, ta da rum.

Vol.

Good, very good, signiour Depazzi you owe

Heaven much thankes, for lending you this servant;

I ha not seene a Gentleman in all France

Move with so much regard, and vigour.

Cris.

Your Lordship is my patterne.

Vol.

M'affaires call me to Court, serviteur tres humble.

Ex.

[Page] De.

Ist possible? This Lord must rise when I am Dukē:

Ile prefer none but such as can speake French and dance;

Crispino, prepare my Bath, Ile distill and grow amorous.

Exeunt.

Enter Contarini Giotto, Dandalo, Carintha.

Car.

My Lord twill become me to receive

Whom you give up so noble, I should sinne

Against obedience; you are most welcome signiour.

Con.

My best Carintha.

Gio.

Madam you incouragē me

To serve your goodnesse, my Lord you undoe me,

With too much honour.

Con.

Signiour, if your eye take delight in prospect

There's a roome will feede it richly,

Shew him Carintha, some

Affaires call me to Court. Cherish him

Car.

With my best care, please you walke.

Con.

So Dandalo, be faithful to your trust, no intērruption,

Giotto prosper in thy sinne, thy deed

Will make me happy, though my honour bleed.

Exeunt Omnes.

Act. 5. Scena. 1.

Enter Contarini, Carintha.

Con.

Y'Are very jocund on the suddaine.

Car.

Thanke your love for't, that provided

Such a cure for melancholly;

To my selfe I seeme not to goe but dance,

When shall we have a maske

My Lord?

Con.

You'd be revelling againe.

Car.

I am all for sport, your honour is much bound

To the Gentleman your friend, trust me my Lord

He is a rare physitian.

Con.

He's well skild in womens pulces.

[Page] Car.

Theres no feare my Lord,

But heele recover me, I doe like him infinitely

For my body, the best in Padua.

Con.

Good, good he gave you gentle phisicke,

But you hope twill worke.

Car.

No Esculapius

Could ha behaved him more judicially

Did our Court Ladyes know his skill

They would be all his Patients, and be sicke a purpose.

Con.

You hold him then sufficient.

Car.

He has a way

So easie to doe good upon's.

Con.

Vpon ye ith' name of lust, you see

I had a care.

Car.

Twas more compassion, and I am bound

To acknowledge it, I was all heavinesse;

A thousand plummets hung upon my heart,

Tis by your meanes I am made light.

Con.

I thinke so, very light, ha, is she not quicke already,

She moves so nimbly, Giotto has don't,

I have it here, I feele it spread, ha [...]ke you:

Y'are a whore.

Car.

Does your Lordship love bastard next your heart,

Though some hold wine unholesome, it may thaw

Your congealed blood; oh the difference of constitutions.

Con.

Hey, she jeeres me, how now?

Enter Dandalo.

Dan.

My Lord, her grace hath sent a strict command

You waite to night at Court.

Con.

Ha?

Dan.

The messenger seemēd full of hast, he onēly

Tooke time to say her highnesse had resolv'd,

This Night, to cleere all doubts, and from her Court

Make happy one, with title of a Duke.

Con.

Be dumbe, thou bringst destruction to night,

Pray you may be mistaken, I am undone else.

Dan.

It is my unhappinesse then my Lord, to bring unwelcome truth.

[Page] Con.

To night, why tis impossible

To sue out a divorce, Ime lost, my plots

Rebound and strike me dead.

Car.

My Lord, you seeme

Troubled, does your head ake, Ile into th' garden

And gather a few simples.

Con.

Madam a word w'e,

You magnified but now a courtesie

I did you, you were ever gratefull, I

Know't, you shall not doe the benefit

If you will yet kill your selfe.

Car.

That's a small matter.

Con.

I know tis, considering th'art stained,

Lost in thine honour, held but a disease

That growes upon thy sex, a tumour; prethee

Lance thy selfe tis soone done.

Car.

That's a poore favour,

Well, Ile thinke on't to morrow.

Con:

'T must be done to night, and earely to, for else twill

Doe me no pleasure deare Carintha, make thy memory

Religious.

Car.

I am thinking where the signe is,

Hah, tis in Capricornus, Ile goe let

My selfe blood ith' knees, and dye praying,

That your Lordship may recover your wits againe.

Ex.

Con,

A fury lend me curses, make me all

An execration, I ha plotted fairely,

And made my selfe a fine rediculus thing

To no purpose, I am deepe in shame, I must on

Giotto, have a nimble braine; you must sinke too

Or boy me up againe.

Exit.

Enter Depazzi, Crispino, curling his haire.

De.

Make no words Crispino, for the Dutchesse

Would not have it published that she meanes to chuse me.

Cris.

Did she promise you?

De.

Not by word of mouth, but I know her meaning,

As well as I were in her, I must be Duke man.

Tis certaine, every body knowes it, but say nothing

Least it breake out, hast done.

[Page] Cris.

A little with this locke, and Ile adone your Lordship

With a powder; I hope your honour will

Not forget Crispino's faithfull service when you are Duke.

De.

Why I am Duke already,

But for the ceremony, my raign's begun, Depazzi the first.

But that Ile not shew my selfe unto my people,

Because the Dutchesse did intreate me, let me

See what place th'art fit for: oh I have it,

Thou shalt be judge.

Cris.

A judge my Lord

De.

A Iudge my Lord, at least, thou canst discharge it,

Tis nothing to sit upon life and death, tis not

Required you should speake much, thy trade has halfe

Prepared thee, thou canst pole the commons, Ime sure,

Cris.

And cut off capitall offenders.

De.

Very good be it so, be a judge.

Cris.

Where my good Lord?

De.

Why thou shalt be a Iudge in potentia.

Cris.

I humbly thanke your grace.

Enter Comachio, Giotto.

Com.

Oh my true friend, I have no happinesse

But thou dost make me clime too't, twill be thy owne

Instructer, and oblige me everlastingly.

Gio.

Ile soone remoove your feares, I cannot doubt

You will make good your promise Sir, to pardon

When y'are Duke.

Com.

Pardon, reward and honour thee as my preserver,

Be not observed, I am your creature.

Exit. Comachio.

Gio.

My Lord, I have assaid which you require privacy,

Send off Crispino,

De.

I ha made him a Iudge.

Gio.

Tis very trimly done of you, I cry you mercy my very

Good Lord, I humbly desire your honourable absence.

Cris.

It shall be granted.

Exit.

De.

Now Signiour what bring you.

Gio.

Why some tokens for your Lordship, looke you.

De.

Th'are no tokens of love as I take it.

Gio.

Yes but they are, and you must take em so,

[Page] But make your choyse, which best affecteth you,

For one you must accept.

De.

O what doe you meane Signiour.

Gio.

Not too loud, lest I chuse for you, heres a ball,

Better then any ere Crispino washt

Your honours face with 'twill scoure you.

De.

Hold, are you in earnest.

Gio.

A bullet will quickely sing my errand to you,

Will you choose.

De.

I beseech declare your meaning Signiour.

Gio.

In short, I me sent to kill you, if you like

Any death better then another, briefely

Resolve and have it, nay without long studdy.

De.

Every man should consider his end Signiour, alas!

Gio.

The Dutchesse loves you, and there must be order

Taken to stay your raysing, say your prayers.

De.

I ha not the heart to say my prayers,

Ah, if I must needes, I would dye

Another death, you ha not brought me.

Gio.

What ist?

De.

I would choose my gallowes, ah, stay tis very

Short warning, and I am not halfe prepared:

What is this, Ratsbane; alas thats to kill

Vermine, I would be loath to be sent out of

The world like a Rat.

Gio.

What say you to a halter?

De.

Indeed Signiour I never loved swinging

In my life, and the halter is a dogges death,

I would dye like a man.

Gio.

What say you to a sword?

De.

Alas I have a sword of my owne, and I had a mind to't

But my stomacke will never disgest it.

Gio.

Then this pistoll.

De.

But that I have a weake constitution,

I have alwayes beene given to loosenesse,

And I doubt your pellet will put me into such a scowring.

Gio.

Why, would you live then?

De.

Alas every thing would live Signiour, but I should be

Sorry to enjoy a life, that stood not with your liking signior.

[Page] But if I live to be a Duke.—

Gio.

Duke thats the sluce open'd this torrent.

De.

I am abused deare Signiour, Ile renounce it,

Ile be first a dog-killer.

Gio.

This is but aire, your not to be trusted,

I ha sworne to send you into another world,

You must not more be seene.

De.

I wo'not; doe but trust me,

And as I am honourable Ile goe

Into the wildernesse, and live with Beares;

Any whether, hide me in a Well, and there be no

Water in't, Ile feed on gravell;

By this hand, this seaven yeares, none shall know

But I am dead.

Gio.

If they should find you living.

De.

Never, Ile indure pinching to death

Ere Ile confesse it.

Gio.

Were I certaine

You would be buryed to all mens sight, but till

To morrow.

De.

See me put into the ground your selfe,

So you'le not smother me, and it be seven nights

Ile feede on moles sweete Signiour.

Gio.

The Dutchesse doth purpose this night her election,

Your Vncle envying your hope, must ha

Security for non appearance; had I

A faith you'ld creepe into obscurity,

But for twelve houres I should have one

Sinne lesse to answer for.

De.

Noble Signiour, Ile wrigle my selfe into a

Wormehole, or creepe into a Molehill, and live

Vpon Emmits egges.

Exit.

Gio.

Be sure you do't then, poore sicke nobility,

How thinne he lookes already.

Enter Volterre at one doore, Orseollo at tother.

Vol.

Signiour Giotto.

Gio.

Now the tide comes.

Vol.

This is the night Signiour, t'inclines a pace.

[Page] Doe I remaine unshaken in her opinion

Have I any square still.

Gio.

O my good Lord.

Ors.

Signiour a word,

Does this night then conclude—

Gio.

Your happinesse.

Ors.

Be not tempted from me, I have writ

Pamphlets in praise of women, I have a volume

Of Recantations.

Gio.

They are fruitlesse,

You are fixt already in her thoughts, away

You make your person cheape, meete, and

Be happy.

Exit Orseollo.

Enter Contarini.

Con.

Giotto.

Vol.

Deere Signiour.

Con.

What make they flattering here, ha they all hope

To enjoy her; all, onely Contarini

Could gnaw his heartstrings now to be excluded,

When he expected his fate ripe, and all his

Hopes fit for gathering.

Gio.

Be high and answer your great hopes;

Meete confidence.

Vol.

Sha't be my fellow Caesar in the Empire.

Gio.

Noble Contarini.

Con.

Y'ave store of clients signiour, I am come

To know my fortune too.

Gio.

Alas my Lord.

Con.

You'ld say tis plaine writ in my forehead, yes

In capitall letters; you are knowne to th' secretary,

That taught my wife this Text hand, but you must

Doe something, sure the marriage is decreed

To night to rid me of Carintha, or

Ile ha thee punish'd for adultery.

Gio.

Are you mad?

Con.

As hornes can make a man, it is no time

For patience, heare me carefully and have

Your best braines.

Gio.

Adultery? was it not by your consent,

[Page] The very sinfull act yours, I but mov'd

By your direction, will this published

Exempt you from the Law?

Con.

Ile laugh at thee

With my mans helpe, and oath against thee, Ile

Returne thy calumny ith' face, I am

A Lord, and shall out weigh thee, couldst thou give

Thy truth a body, that even men might see

As well as heare it.

Gio.

This is strange and violent ha,

Con.

Doe, harrow thy skull, I am resolved.

Gio.

This is but course reward for my last office,

No remedy but killing before supper;

Did my starres owe me this? you will pardon me

When y'are Duke, thats but reason.

Con.

And reward thee.

Gio.

I am in, and must wade through, she goes to bed

Supperlesse.

Con.

Oh happinesse, may I trust too't?

Gio.

Ile put her granam to the charge of wormes

To entertaine her, meete, and be Duke, Ile make

Your wife immortall.

Con.

Wo't thou be speedy, for Ile tell thee Giotto,

I cannot hope this night to have all perfect.

The noyse of this her sudden death, must needes

Marre this nights revelling, and pretract the choyse

That is expected; then a little time

Presents me capable of the mighty favour:

I have incouragement to hope for marriage

With our great Dutchesse, ha.

Gio.

Excellent braines,

Your wife is already carrying commendations.

To your friends ith' tother world.

Con.

Oh let me hugge thee.

Gio.

I have your pardon.

Con.

And my heart too, on, be swift in thy great worke

Beleeve it done.

[Page] Enter Dutchesse, Carintha, Laura.

Dutch.

This pleasantnesse becomes you well Carintha,

And you shew duty in it, this night we dedicate

To our owne delights.

Car.

Madam, I ha more wonder

To tell your grace, when you are pleased to heare me.

Dutch.

You'le finde our disposition meete it, but

Laura, dost thou not smile to thinke upon

The event, we shall be censur'd humorous.

Lau.

But your grace shall publish your reasons,

You will appeare just.

Dutch.

That ambition

Should have such feare in humane natures, but

Court hath beene long sicke; they are my humours

And I must phisicke em.

Enter Depazzi.

De.

Treason, treason, wheres the Dutchesse, O Madam

Never was heard of such a horrid treason.

Dutch.

Our guard.

De.

Nay I discovered and prevented it

Already.

Dutch.

You amaze us, whats the treason, who is

The conspirator?

De.

My Vncle, but I thinke most o' the Lords

Had their hand in't:

Dutch.

Be briefe.

De.

There was a plot of treason to ha kild.

Dutch,

Whom? defend us heaven.

De.

Nay I ha defended my selfe, they wod a kild.

Me, that shall be Duke, because they saw

You were inclin'd to marry me.

Dutch.

Is this the treason?

De.

And who should be the villaine thinke you, but

Giotto.

[Page] All.

Giotto.

De,

I Giotto, but like an honest rascall

Vpon my promise, to goe hide my selfe

For twelve houres, he sav'd my life, did y'ever

Heare of such a cunning traitour, but it is

Your destiny to ha me, you have cause

To pray heartily.

Dutch.

And so I have, here was a peece of treason,

But be reserv'd you are here safe; Ile take

My time to know and punish all; what bold

Entruders this?

Enter Crispino.

Cris.

My Lord, I heard your voyce in fearefull manner

Crying treason, are you in preservation.

De.

One of my loving subjects; yes Crispino:

'Tis Crispino Madam, one that I ha promised

To make a judge, he was my Barber, and

Will fit the Common wealth to a haire.

Dutch.

He must deserve that place then.

De.

'Tis confirm'd.

Cris.

I humbly thanke your excellence.

Dutch.

Signiour Depazzi, you shall be neere our person,

Here's mirth more then's expected; Laura, bid

Some waiter command Giotto's presence;

Carintha, weele retire and heare your wonder.

My Lord, weele sift the treason.

De.

And let the traitors be bolted Madam I beseech you.

Enter Officer, and Servants.

Offi.

Quicke, set things in order. The Gentlemen

That come to see this great preparation,

Must please to make roome for't, so, so.

What are you Sir.

Cris.

I am the terrour of the Law.

[Page] Offi.

What's that, a hangman?

Cris.

When I looke leane, and frowne, thou dy'st, I am

A Iudge, I say, a Iudge in Potentia.

Offi.

Have we a Towne called Potentia, in our Dutchy.

Serv.

He's some forraigner, he comes to use his eyes,

Let him passe.

Offi.

Cease your clamors Villaines: sure the devils

Are singing a catch. Give order the outward

Doores be locked. Let none approach the presence;

The Lords must come hither up the backe staires,

And through the Privy gallery, beare backe:

Exeunt.

Knocking at the other doore.

More noyse yet, 'twere lesse troublesome living

In a drumme then at Court, in nights of

Entertainement.

Within. Open the doore.

Offi.

My Lord Comachio's voyce.

Enter Comachio, Orseollo, they salute with silence at the doore.

Com.

The Lords are not yet met.

Ors.

I hate this overgrowne thing, tis high time

He should intend's affaires in Heaven, yet still

He hath some businesse upon earth,

Cris.

Save you my good Lord, signiour Orseollo,

I hope you have an able faith.

Ors.

Why do ye hope so?

Cris.

That ye may be sav'd too.

Ors.

The groome is witty.

Knocking at the doore.

Offi.

Who makes that noyse?

Within. Signiour Contarini and Volterre would Have entrance.

[Page] Enter Contarini, Volterre, who salute each other with silence at the doore, then are saluted by Comachio, and Orseollo.

Com.

Why was Contarini warn'd, he has a wife,

His hope have no incouragement.

Cris.

My Lord Volterre, I congratulate

Your safety, and your health signiour Contarini?

Vol.

Is not this Depazzies Barber?

Con.

I wish he had more manners.

Cris.

There are certaine Iudges in the darke

Vol.

And thats the reason Iustice is blinde.

Cris.

And those Iudges shall come to light too, when

They shall thinke convenience proper—

Vol.

His fingers speake his profession

Within. Make way there, fellowes oth' guard, The passage.

Offi.

Beare backe Gentlemen, what doe you meane,

Pray beare backe?

Lords,

Musicke then.

Enter Depazzi, Giotto, Dutchesse:

Laura.

Attendants.

Dutchesse sits under her Canopy.

Com.

My Nephew still alive, Giotto, you

Trifle with me, I am dangerous when

My wrath is.

Gio.

You mistooke your Nephew, I proffered him

Foure or five severall deaths, and could not get him

To accept of one. Come signiour there's great hope,

The Dutchesse but pretends a care o're him,

The more to disguise her love of you.

Com.

This is but a weake comfort.

Con.

Ist done? softly in my eare?

Gio.

It is not done.

[Page] Con.

Hell, and damnation!

Gio.

Your wife is invisible: the Sunne can hardly

Finde her out.

Con.

Secure thy selfe, my wayes are hidden.

Vol.

Diable prend e'te Droll la! parles doucement.

De.

Doe not trust the Arch-Duke, he cosend me at

Blow-point.

Vol.

Abien, ce'te unchose'ci dificile. Iene scay que faire.

De.

Right, why thats the cause I lent the Emperour my

Combecase.

Vol.

Ma foy loblie! mais nous le voyerous tontastine grandement esbahy.

De.

With like ease may I—hand saw, and invite the

Moone to supper.

Dutch.

Hah, who is the cause of this fury.

Vol.

Tis onely a French heate, an't like your excellence.

Dutch.

My Lord the time is now arriv'd wherein

We are to gaine your thankes, and strive to oblige

Posterity, your care oth' publike weale,

Incourag'd your continuall sute to heaven,

And us, that we would make an earthy choyce

Of a good husband. Even from this number,

Weele performe your wishes, envy is the sinne

Of Cowards: therefore no Lord of high birth,

And temperate breeding will maligne his destiny

Whom we shall thinke most worthy our esteeme:

Nay, 'twould shew decay of duty

Ith' greatest of our Court, to thinke that we

Want skill to make a safe election, such

A bold thought, in one we call our subject

Would soone corrupt our nature, and make our

Iustice cruell; we doe expect (my Lords)

No verball satisfaction in this point;

But as we single out our choyce, weele make

A private tryall of each heart, Contarini:

She descends, leads him aside.

Com.

I can perceive no cause of feare from him,

[Page] Hee's marryed,

Dutch.

How does your wife Signiour?

Con.

She has too much health Madam: but had I knowne

Your excellences purpose, to hasten thus

Your favour towards your humble subject:

Shee had ere this arriv'd in heaven: however

If your care finde your blood so violent

You are not able to delay the use

Of this my person; she shall not live long

To finde your desire.

Dutch.

O my good Lord you still increase my obligation

Con.

'Tis great pitty custome should make Princes

So reserv'd in wooing, had ye told me

But two dayes since of this meeting, I had

Casheer'd my wife; a nimbler way then by

Contriving a divorce.

Dutch.

Then you have practised a divorce already?

Con.

'Las, no designe seemes difficult, that makes

Me capable of your highnesse love.

Dutch.

What an Iron impudence rules in thy

Nature? thou seemest to boast of crimes the devill

Would in modesty conceale.

Con.

How Madam?

Dutch.

Canst thou expect kindnesse from a Lady,

That art so cruell to thy owne: a soule

So much ith' tongue of fame, as is Carintha:

You are one oth' religious faction,

Whose care meerely did reflect upon the

Generall good; the safety of your Country,

Ile not publish thy disgrace: kneele old man?

And thanke the priviledge of this great day;

Thou hast thy pardon.

He kisses her hand.

Con.

Horred torture, foyl'd in my hopes, and made

An argument for popular scorne, I feare

My owne shadow, my hornes are growne so ugly.

Dutch.

Orseollo.

Com.

She knowes him a woman hater, his fate

[Page] Cannot hinder me.

Dutch.

How thrives your charity toward our sex,

What thinke you of a woman now my Lord?

Ors.

A woman is the pride of nature: her

Husbands best Gaurius, made to credit

Heaven, to justifie the first creation good:

She is the destiny of time, her wombe

Containes the hope of our succession,

The power to adde new life unto the world.

Dutch.

Stay signiour, this is a kin to flattery,

Doe you appeare at this our summons, with

Hope to gaine by it: you that have professed

Your selfe a naturall enemy to all our sex?

Ors.

Madam I recanted that heresie,

Giotto is my witnesse: there are creatures—

Dutch.

Heele tell me all I neede not tempt it from him,

Bold Mounsier, I've heard of your Goattish trickes

Of your Seragho, and your Concubines;

Dare you be so much a Traitor, to thinke

I'ld marry with a publicke stallious,

A Towne Bull.

Ors.

Your Highnesse—

Dutch.

No more? for the honour of this day I doe

Conceale your faults and pardon em.

Kisses her hand.

Ors.

Giotto, I shall pricke your veines.

Dutch.

Volterre.

Com.

What meanes these severall parlies?

Dutch.

I am to give you thankes (my Lord) for your

Great care oth' publicke weale. You did implore

My haste to marriage, meerely for your

Countries good, you your selfe not guilty of,

Any hope to profit by it.

Vol.

Your excellence does me too much right.

Dutch.

And can your nature suffer you to doe

Me wrong: you under value me, my birth

And title, for else a little forraigne

Vanity, shew in corrupted mixture

[Page] Of unknowne tongues; would not incourage thēē

T'attempt our person, and so become our equall.

Vol.

Your highnesse will hold me in excuse.

Dutch.

Yes y'ave more deserved our mercy thēn

The rest—walke aside.

Kisses her hand.

Dutch.

Comachio▪

Com.

Hey, I begin to prosper!

Dutch.

You are your Countries fathēr, chiefe of those

Whose zealous interrest ith' common wealth,

Vrg'd to intreate my first indeavours,

To helpe posterity with issue; yet

Prescribed your selfe no share ith' benefit:

Fye my Lord! how sinnefull has ambition

Made you? tis strange, that he, whom we have held

Our Oracle, should conspire the death of

One so harmelesse as your Nephew.

Com.

My gracious Mistresse:

Dutch.

We know all; but in hope you'le not maligne

Our next election, you taste our mercy.

Kisses her hand.

Com.

False Giotto, thou shalt suffer.

Dutch.

Signiour de Pazzi.

Paz.

Hom! now I begin my raignē: Dutchēsse,

We know thy minde: thou wouldst protest thy great

Love unto our royall person. Contarini,

Thy speech and lets to bed, weele have our subjects

Know our prompt desire to furnish them

With a lusty hire.

Dutch.

Your Lordship will please to hearē me speake.

Paz.

First we would know thy lips. I say it is

Our will to busse thy highnesse.

Dutch.

The fellowes sawcy, Take him away.

Com.

How now Nephew?—

Paz.

Tis fine ifaith—

Giotto and the Dutchesse imbrace.

Dutch.

Beehold (Lords) your Prince Foscari, Duke of

Parma, and of Mantua, now our Lover,

Whom lately you supposed dismissed our Court.

Com.

Indeed we see the Golden Fleece his order,

And a face like his, but yet his chinne wants

[Page] Part of his beard.

Gio.

I left that naked, more to disguise me

From your knowledge. And that our fame, (which must

Out live our person) may give reply to those,

Who shall hereafter question it; know, we

Vndertake this shape, to helpe us in discovery

Of all your soules and hearts; the better to

Inable us; how to dispose of each

Beneath our governement.

Dutch.

And I made secret promise, to bring you

To a Court purged, and in cleare health: your Lords

Have all tane physicke from my prescription.

Here I present em to you, penitent

And wise; for now they know themselves; which is

The best knowledge, and chiefe part of wisdome.

You are to grant their pardons for my sake.

Gio.

With great alatrity, and I banish

All their crimes from my remembrance.

They kneele, kisse his hand by turnes.

Con.

Deprived of my revenge too!

Cris.

Then I am no Iudge now.

Paz.

Tis a new tricke of state, continually

To shift great offices.

Cris.

Eare I've made my cushion warme!

Paz.

No remedy, If I'me his favourite,

Thou shalt be my Pimpe, then th'art sure to rise.

Gio.

Must we not be reconcil'd to my Lord

Depazzi too?

Paz.

I forgive your highnesse, I.

Gio.

And I you, your love is soone requited:

Lau.

I hope your excellence will pardon my

Rude intrusion into your acqu: intance.

Her grace conceal'd this part of her designe

From me. I never knew till now, that you

Were more then Giotto, the Florentine.

Gio.

Madam, you are truely noble: you have

Merited our best assistance.

All.

Long Foscari, Duke of Mantua, and Parma.

[Page] Enter Carintha.

Dutch.

This noyse brings in Carintha.

Gio.

Vneasie thoughts perplex her husband.

Dutch.

Make not rumour acquainted with

Your griefe: as yet tis contained ith' knowledgē

Of us foure, I forgive his excellence

His sinne 'gainst me. Make me your good example,

And forgive your wife her error.

Con.

Heaven has punished my ambition, it was

My owne seeking. Ime content to suffer.

Gio.

Then take your wife, and with assurance from

The faith of a true Knight and Prince, she doth

Retaine that chaslity she had, when first

I saw her. Now each wrinkled brow growes smooth;

And I begin my soveraignty: with hope

To give succession cause, still to prefer

This Day, as chiefe within their Kallender.

Exeunt Omnes.

FINIS.

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