MVLD SACKE, His gratulatorie thankefulnesse to Hic Mulier, for her dedication.
Muld Sacke: OR The Apologie of Hic Mulier: To the late Declamation against her. Exprest in a short Exclamation. Non est mollis è terris ad astra via. Muld Sacke, Muld Sacke.
LONDON Printed for Richard Mewhen, and are to be sold at his [...] vnder Saint Clements Church, and at Westminster Hall. 1620.
TO MY PROFESSED FRIEND, MVLD SACKE, None of the least of the ancient Societie of Chimney-Sweepers.
AFter I had wearied my vnsetled brayne, with the finding out of a fit Patron, or indifferent Iudge, for the defence or equall censure of my Apologeticall answer, to a bitter Declamation, lately come abroad against me, I could hit of none more fit then your Gaffership, whose equall carriage, both to mee, and Haec Vir (since I did first know you) hath beene such, that it can be hardly iudged, to whom you are most inclined. One day you weare yellow Bands, Feathers, Scarffes; cuts your haire and powders it, paints your face so all the weeke, that vpon Sunday, a pound of sope will not reduce it [Page] to the right colour; you dance, sing, and vse other jouiall conceits, wherein I (poore Wench) much delight; but when I looke vpon your Hornes, your Garters, Roses, and other your Feminine masculine fashions, then J perceiue you participate also with Haec Vir, and are indifferently affected to vs both. Wherefore (good Gaffer) seeing Truth hath yeelded it selfe to be the Clyent of my answer, let this poore Apologie find such rich fauour with you, that you will become Patron thereof, censuring this Exclamation of mine, rather by my passions and distractions, at the writing thereof, then by the iudicious or formall digesting of it,
In the doing whereof, you shall oblige me to continue
MVLD SACKE: OR THE APOLOGIE OF HIC MVLIER.
THe Title (being Hic Mulier) of your Declamation, giues me iust cause, to ranke you amongst those Thrasonical Cowards, who dare enter combat with none, but with the weake, vnarmed, or dead. You haue taken armes, not only against a Woman, Timiditas est, & quod maius est amittere, & quod minus est capere, Eurip. in Phoen. but against the weakest of Women, yea so weake, that the breath of a Souldier is able to throw her vpon her backe; you haue wounded a Man, but more to your shame, a dead Man. Before I come to my answer, let me expostulate a little with you; Who bee these good Women, whom you so complementally magnifie in your Declamation? or, where doe they dwell? It appeareth to me you haue beene a traueller (therefore are Licentiate) and perhaps in the desert of Arabia, haue seene some one, whom you [Page] grace with such excellencies; but that such a Phoenix should multiplie to a world-full of good Women, no man (except mad) will beleeue you.
I doe confesse they are the Seminaries of propagation, the supporters of mankind, (as you rightly terme them) and so are we. Perpetuum, & necessarium malum est mulier, Stob. The greatest praise that (by the most wise) hath beene giuen vs therereby, is, that we are, mala necessaria, and that's all: your other Hyperbolicall praises are paradoxes not proued. I doe confesse there be some (whom you call good) faire, and chaste, but those are commonly proude; some deformed and vertuous, those bee scoulds; some sociable, those are yeelding, not impregnable castles; Ego mulieri hoc vnum credo, quod à morte non reuiuiscat, Anlep. sayleable, not vnsayleable Riuers; moueable not vnmoueable Seas; Helpers, but not trustie; Centinels, but sleepie; signes, but deceitfull; true guides, but full of danger; Balmes that seldome cure; honoures, but euery day perishing, and such graces as Seneca neuer praised, but in his mad or doting age; or (as you say) with Sophocles presented them as they should be: but I with Euripides praise them as they are, and shall admire with you and say, O you rare good women, Rarum est mulieris beneficium, apud Stob. you are modest when milde, young when vertuous, glorious when chaste; looke not to find your name in this exclamation, but I shall write it with a pen of I know not what, and vpon paper I know not where; I write now with a Goose quill, on white paper, the deedes of a dull leaden age, blackish, I should say, brokish age.
To come then to my answere, wherein I will ouerpasse your farre borrowed epithites, and hellish comparisons applyed vnto vs, and only will answere [Page] the more materiall points of your accusation; A similibus, similia non lu [...]s fi [...]r [...], Arist. Rhet. [...] and thereafter discouer the abuses of Haec Vir whom you dare not point at, much lesse challenge.
First, I answere that those imputations you doe lay against me, are the chiefe summum bonum, the most honourable ends, the only vertues, I ayme at, And therefore no maruell although enuied, it hath beene so à principio; for what greater glorie can come to the masculine woman (as you terme her) then to ouerrule her parents and husband? Mulieri imperare in parentes, out maritam nō concedit natura, Pub. Mim. to be so pitifull that she cuts the hayre of her head, to couer their shallow braines, or hornes; so stout that shee disarmes the Martiall, degrades Knights by vnspurring (or rather oft spurring) them; Antonius Silui [...] a Venetian, hauing a faire wife, deuised a rare locke per la fica sua, which by her cunning and a false key (in his absence) did open and enioy her Friend. So industrious that she is become Painter, Apothecarie, Chirurgion, Barber, and what not: so cunning that shee can open the rare Venetian Locke, infect your purse with want, and your body with the poxe: so charitable that (although carried in a Cart) shee will visit Friends, at playes, and Bawdi-houses: and finally, to be so precise, that shee that hath not cut Haire, a Fether in her Hat, a painted Face, naked Brests, open Skirts, Pistoles, or Poiniards, shall be bard her societie.
Secondly (to vindicate vs from the aspersions of Noueltie) I will by your owne words, and other examples (ancient and moderne) demonstrate the ancientie of Masculine Women: in the ninth line of your declamation, you say, that since the dayes of Adam, Women were neuer so masculine; whereby you couertly implie, that in the dayes of Adam, Eua, or some other was a Masculine Woman; but [Page] admitting there was none in that age, was not Dauid, Salomon, Samson, ensnared with the beautie, ouercome by the multitude, and betrayed by the policie of my sexe? Mulieres ad bona [...]uide [...] ineptissimae, malorum vero omnium effectrices sapientissimae, Eurip. in Med. did not Tarpeia (in later times) betray the Capitoll and her Countrey? Medea, kill her owne Children in dispight of her Husband? Was not Hellens lightnesse the cause of the ten yeeres bloudie warre and destruction of Troy? did not Sylla steale her Fathers haire, and giue it to his Enemy? Biblis fell in loue with her owne brother; Myrrha, with her Father; Semiramis, with her sonne. These were Gallants in their time, & my deare kinswomen, by whom I hope you are satisfied for the ancientie of my Ancestors: I do confesse at that time their number was fewer then now, yet sufficient to pleade antiquities; but if in this age a generall muster should be taken of Women, I am sure to draw vp in Battaile one hundreth Hos Foeminas for one Haec Foemina.
Thirdly, in your description of the Masculine Feminine, you haue erred from the Rules of a good definition, in reducing the generall name of Haec Mulier, to those you call deformed monsters, by cutting their haire, wearing French doublets, hauing open breasts and false bodies: but I call a woman, Aequè facinori videtur obnoxius qui auxilium praestat agenti, & qui perpetratum facinus quasi iure factum collaudat, Plut. de cla. Mul. of whatsoeuer degree, who exceedes the ends of her Creation, Hic Mulier.
A Woman was created to honour her Parents, and obey her Husband; Fathers, to vse their lawfull authoritie ouer their Children; Husbands to ouerrule & command their Wiues: as he therefore is an effiminate man, that transfers his birthright vpon his [Page] Daughter or Wife, so is shee a Masculine Woman that bereaues Parents of authoritie, A Muliere male regitur ciuitas, Arist. 1. Pol. Husbands of supremacie, or debords from the modestie required in her sexe: shee then, that dare presume to ouerrule her Husband (or sometimes for his owne good beate him) although shee neither paint, cut her haire, or be deformed with new inuented fashions, is notwithstanding Hic Mulier.
She that spends more vpon delicate cheere, or entertainement of a Sweete-heart, in a moneth, then her Husband may allow her for a yeere, is, Hic Mulier.
She who sitteth a gossipping till she be drunke, is, Mulier quae vini vsum immoderatè appetie vt virtutibus cunctis tanuam claudit, ita & vi [...]ijs aperit, Max. Lingua modicum membrum, si refraenata non fuerit, totum corpus corrumpit, Bern. ad Soror. Aut appare quod es, aut esto quod appares, Chrys. Hic Mulier.
She whose tongue is able to set the whole world on fire, or whose lookes, gesture, words, oathes, bewray her Luciferian pride, is, Hic Mulier.
The Baud that will bring you a quarte of wine in a pottle pot, an old painted Whore in shape of a Countrie Wench new come to Towne, is one of my kinred.
The Puritan sister that will crie out against loose breeches, or painting, if shee trade with a Brother (so the wicked doe not see) is one of my Sisters.
Item, Shee that keepes a masse Priest, rather for priuate Confession then publique Deuotion, is Hic Mulier.
I haue now answered generally those calumnies you doe suggest against me, Sunt qui quod sentiunt etiamsi ostimum sit, inuidiae metu non audent dicere, Cic. offic. and haue supplyed your lame description (with a full definition) of Hic Mulier. Now I will lay open your Cowardize by a suruey of Haec Vir, whom (not contented with [Page] that description of the Feminine Man, lately set downe in a conference I had with Haec Vir) I will more fully delineate.
The definition of Haec Vir (in the signification I now take it) shall not only bee extended to those yong Fellowes, who deckes themselues vp in effeminate fashions, Sweares, Swaggers, haunts Playhouses, Dicing, Carding, Tauernes, Tobacco shops, Ale-houses, cosens Merchants and Tradesmen, to supply their neuer heard of prodigalitie; but to many others of your Masculine kind, and specially to those, whose names (according to my definition) are comprehended vnder the generaltie of Haec Vir.
Pastorum est vigilare super gregem propter tria necessaria, ad disciplinam, ad custodiam, ad preces, Bern. sup. Cant. ser. 42. Imprimis, The Churchman that preferres pride, simony, or other worldly respects, before the cure of soules committed to his charge, is, Haec Vir.
Item, The false-hearted Puritan, that (vnder the vaile of deuotion) will commit all villany, take the forfeit of a poore mans bond, and dare affirme, that God sent it him: you shall know him by the ensuing liuerie. Vult hypocrita scire diuina eloquia, nec tamen facere, vult recte loqui, nec tamen viuere, Greg. [...]2. Mor.
Item, The supersticious plotting Papist, Vindictam quam petuni Scripturae, prophetia est non vindicta, Aug. sup. Psal. 66. Amor & odium, & proprium commodum faciunt saepe iudicem non agnoscere veritatem, Arist. Rhe. 1. Maior plerum (que) lite quaestio est, Quint. Decl. 3. Paruo ab intio contentionem magnam hominibus auaritia suppeditat; hoc vero honesti homines maxime cau [...]ant vicinis fabricare, Eurip. in And. and bloudie Iesuite.
Item, The Iudge, who is corrupt with briberie, or ouer-swayed with greatnesse, or other respect, then iustice.
Item, The Lawier, who (by too much studying Ploydon) can euery day alter the Case, bastardize the fundamentall Lawes by wrested glosses, confirming one thing this day, and another tomorrow; that hath more wit then honestie, and serues onely to emptie his Clyents Cap-case, and fill his owne.
Item, The Pettifogger and Atturney, who wanteth both wit and honestie, liueth altogether by setting Neighbours together by the eares, are the andyrons that holds vp their Clyents, till they be burnt to ashes, and yet are warmed themselues.
Item, The Vintner, that (by sophisticating his rotten wines) makes no conscience to hazard the poysoning of his drunken guest.
Item, The Taylor, that condemnes the best part of his Clyents garments to hell, consumes more paper in writing of a Bill, for a sure of clothes, then might serue for the conueyance of one hundred pounds Land.
Now, if I did not pitty your cowardlinesse, I am readie to crie out (if not scratch your face) for not daring challenge the base bloud sucking Vsurer, neither his slaue the Broker.
Peior ciuis existimatur foenerator quam fur.The first is the Caterpiller of the Common-wealth, the ouerthrow of hospitalitie in the Countrie, of honestie and trading in Cities, the oppressor of the poore, the Leuiathan that deuours thousands; who (with the helpe of a Broker or Scriuener, browne bread and cheese) will deuoure ten, sometimes twentie Knights estates.
These fellowes are fit fagots for hell: and if I would (as you doe) breake Priscians head, I could call the Vsurer Hoc Vir, that is, Crudele, insatiabile, & inutile animal; fit for nothing but to be the subiect, whereupon that ancient Roman Law, Fur condemnabatur in duplum, vsurarius in quadruplum, should be executed: would to God, Clinías, that the Roman Law were in England receiued, where a poore Thiefe (for stealing some goods of small value) is hanged one houre, all mercilesse Vsurers (who neither by threatning of Gods Word, whereby they are excluded the Kingdome of Heauen, neither by humane Lawes, wilbe reclaymed) might be hanged two houres: this cure would either end them or mend them.
The Broker (skorning to bee called Vsurer) will lend none money, at ten in the hundred, vpon bond or securitie, but (for sooth) Sir if you will bring a pawne worth double the summe you desire, and make a bill of Sale, you shall haue halfe, or sometimes the third of the value thereof: when you come [Page] to returne the money, and receiue your pawne, hee will either perswade you to take some more money, (that it may lie till the yeere expire and it forseit) or tell you it is in a Chest, where he cannot come at it, or if (perchance) you haue it, you must pay the ensuing Bill.
Item, deliuered to Mistris Spendthrift vpon a bill of Sale, the first of Ianuarie, 1618. for a Taffata Peticote, a Beuer Hat, Gold Band, Yellow Feather, a Fanne, a payre of Silke Stockings, Garters, and Roses,—3 li.
Item, for the bill of Sale— 1 s.
Item, for renewing the Bil euery three moneths 3 s.
Item, for Sir Huighes office— 1 s.
Item, for nine moneths interest at 8 d. the moneth for the pound— 18 s.
— Summa tot.—01 l.—03 s.—00 d.
This fellow is so cruell, that he will incroch vpon the very garments that shelter the poore and father lesse. I doe know (Clinias) a poore Widdow dwelling by me, heere Long-lane, that hath foure young Children, who for want hath beene forced to engage (to one of those Cormorants) the Couerlet of her bed, for twelue pence, and comming at night to haue it backe, she could not haue it without foureteene pence, and so in defect of two pence, shee and her Children were exposed to the extremitie of cold.
O adamantine hearted broker, how darest thou professe thy selfe a Christian, that harbors such a Tigers heart? It may be thou payest to some vndiscouered Vsurer, ten or more in the hundreth, but [Page] thou are not ashamed to take from thy Christian Brother aboue fiftie; Turpia Incra & velox inopes trucidat, qui hoe vtitur, super omnes mercantores maledictus, Chrys. sup. Matth. I haue heard of a people of Scythia who are so addicted to couetousnesse, that it is lawfull for them to steale or purloyne from strangers; but neuer did heare of any, that openly (vnpunished) did prey vpon their poore neighbours to satiate their greedinesse.
It is not without cause (Clinias) that I raile thus against Vsurers and Brokers; for (besides the generall losse that redounds to the Countrey, the scandall to Christian profession, the complaint of all good men, and the vtter ouerthrow of all charitable dealing amongst men) I haue mine owne priuate griefes, against them, and am not ashamed to tell you, that now there lyeth at a Brokers in Barbican for small money, a Sattin Petticote of mine, richly layed with gold Lace, bordered with a deepe fringe of gold, a Muffe lyned with rich Furre, and a Scarfe, for all which I did pay thirtie pounds and aboue: this money was borrowed from an Vsurer vpon the bond of Master Woodcocke my Husband, and goodman Goose our neighbour, the lease of our house pawned therewith: besides twentie shillings giuen to the Scriuener to procure the money
I will now leaue the Citie, and suruey the Countrey, Dum pacis amans agrum intueor odi ciuitatem. Vita enim rustica maximè disiuncta est à cupiditate, & cum officio coniuncta Gic. pro Rosc. from which, those of the Gentrie that anciently did entertaine hospitalitie, their seruants and retainers, welcomed their friends, and were helpefull to such of them as stood in neede, are now come into Cities, turned Inmates, where (with their Coach and Footemen, or (if they bee not able to keepe a Coach) their Pander, Page, vpon Whores, prodigall [Page] cloathing, excessiue dyet) they spend all that formerly did maintaine so many, venting more Smoke at their noses, then is in their Chimneyes; are altogether estranged both in forme, fashion and Condition, from the rules of vertue; making oftentimes but a puffe of all that their fathers so carefully purchast.
Those be of such (Giant like) strength, 1 that by the helpe of a Merchant-Taylor, and Ieweller, will vndergoe the burthen of of a Coppie-hold vpon their shooestrings, a Freehold vpon their Garters, a Mannor vpon their shoulders, and a Lordship vpon their heads.
From such deuourers of estates, doth arise the improuing of lands, racking of Rents, destruction of ancient hospitalitie, and oppression of poore Farmers and Tenants. Is it not great pittie that within these few yeeres there be more housholders in England beggered (or in hazard to be) then in fiue hundred preceading yeeres? the Gentrie hauing euer thought it their greatest treasure, to haue their Farmers and Tenants able at home and abroade, in good fashion to attend their seruice: but now if a Farmer, by multitude of Children, great charge, bad yeeres, death of Cattell, or other accidents (to which humane affaires are subiect) become poore, straight comes some rich Grasier or remorselesse Vsurer, offers more for his Farme then it is worth; and being no sooner offered then accepted, the poore Tenant is thrust out of doores, and oft-times the small remnant of stocke he hath, seised vpon for arrerages.
Iustitiae est, esse eius distributivum tueri patrie consuetudines, instituta, & scriptas leges seruare; s [...]ctatur autem iustitiam & sanctitas, & veritas, & fides, Eurip.Looke to this, you senselesse Land-Lords, whose now cauterized consciences one day shall tell you, haue cruelly oppressed the poore, the bitter gall of whose teares (reserued by the Almightie for you) without repentance and amendment, you shall one day drinke.
Next vnto the Gentrie (the Arch-leaders of the troupes of Haec Vir) are the Iustices of Peace, of that sort (I say, that sort, because there be others, whom for the vpright discharge of their places, I doe honour) who are either the reliques of some old Vsurer vp-start Knight, or broken Barrister, are themselues fore-stallers of Markets, hoarders vp of corne, the ouer-seers of false measures, and other enormities: and sometimes (without commiseration) if it were but for their Clerks fee, will send a poore man to the Goale (although it should vndoe him) for not putting in Suretie for his good behauiour, at the suite of some promoting Knaue, whom hee neuer offended; their chiefe ayme in keeping Sessions and Meetings, is to find Ale-wiues, Bakers, Butchers, and such others, as by priuate bribes haue not bound them to silence.
Who did euer see a prouder corse then a Knaue, riding on his Masters horse? Galf. chauc. Hosper non praedabile genus, Eurip. Item, The sawcy Constable, that by vertue of his Staffe will abuse a better Subiect then himselfe, and then charge him to the Peace in the Kings name, as if hee were authorized by his place to wrong his Betters.
Item, The cheating Inne-keeper (whereof it is likely there be some) who so racketh the Stranger or Ghest, that before he come to the end of his iourney, he cannot tell in which pocket his purse is.
Item, The weather-beaten Shepheard, whose cunning is to make his flocke leese some of their wooll before shearing time, Dic mihi Dameta, cuium pecus, an Moelebaei, Virg. Egl. 3. can practize so with his neighbouring fellow-shepeard, that some of either flocke (by cutting off their eares or other new badge) shall be discharged their Masters liuery, and then put the fault vpon the Foxe, Captayne Floud, or some vnknowne Theefe.
Item, The Miller, who thinks, the wearing of Sheeps sattin, no pride; practises most vpon Meale, Mault, and making of Hornes.
There be also both in Countrie and Citie, a monstrous broode of Feminine Masculine, the first whereof is a Drunkard, Ebrietas nihil aliud est, quam insania voluntaria, cor mutans, & mentem alienans, Greg. sup. 1. Reg. hauing no more of a man but the shape. This fellow suggesteth to himselfe good-fellowship, recreation, or the bearing of much drinke; loseth the vse of reason (by which man is distinguished from beast) infects his soule with the leprosie of sinne, his body with diseases, and his purse with contemptible want: O, more then beastly Vice to reigne amongst Christians, which was not knowne to the Ethnickes, as appeareth by one, thus complayning:
Hos homines non putassent Ethnici, sed pertentosa hominum monstra & porcos, se vino obruentes at (que) ingurgiantes, vltra corporis mensuram, & ventris capacitatem, ad perdenda vina orti; verùm quod Ethnicis turpissimum, multis nostrae aetatis videtar valde gloriosum.
The second (an inseparable fellow to Drunkennesse) [Page] is blasphemie, Dico v [...]bis ne iurate omnino, ne iurando ad facilitatē iurandi veniatur, de facilitate ad consuetudinem, de consuetudine in periurium, de periurio in infernum decidatur, Aug. contr. Mend. simpathizing rather with the nature of Deuils then of men, or beasts, vsing the tongue that ought to bee the Herald of God his glorie, to be the proclaimer of most horrible blasphemie against him, tearing his body, heart, and soule in peeces; this is the most accursed slaue that liueth, who without any colour (as all other sinnes haue) takes armes against Gods owne person; hee is accounted in this age (amongst Feminine men) the brauest Gallant, that can sweare the most rare and new inuented oath extempore: cōmon oathes (that formerly were not heard, or so religiously looked vnto, that a knowne swearer was barred all honest societie) are now transferred vpon Clownes, Watermen, Carre [...]men, and others of the meanest sort; who together with their Leaders (without earnest repentance) shall one day pay deere for such vnnecessary Ware as they haue taken at so so deere a rate: against whom the Satyrist thus speaketh,
Animal inter omnia noxium est, inter mitia adulator, Bias apud Plut.In the next place commeth the flatterer, rightly called the most cruell of tame beasts, hee is no lesse hatefull to the Wise, then beloued of Fooles: hee is the deuourer of all such as trust him, the poyson of truth, the impudent maintayner of false coloured lyes, the enemie to vpright dealing and honestie. Hee names lecherie, true loue; drunkennesse, [Page] good fellowship; deceit, policie; crueltie, [...]busu [...] luge [...] du [...] quo vitae reputantu [...] v [...] tutes, apud Stob. manhood; niggardly auarice, good husbandry. If his Patron bee angrie, hee is mad, if merrie, hee laughes; if sad, (with the Crocodile) hee weepes; if offended with his Friend, he perswades him neuer to be reconciled; if his master bee a Musitian, his flatterer loues musicke out of measure; if he be a Faulconer, he loues hawking, although hee cannot discerne a Falcon from a Kite, neither himselfe from a Woodcocke.
This Camelion can turne himselfe into all coloures, following mens fortunes, not themselues, and is a dish fitter for the Diuel, then for a wise, noble, or generous mind. That you may know him by his habit, reade the worthy saying of Aagapetus to Iustinian.
Pellaces adulatorum sermones auerfare, vt coruorum rapaces mores: Illi nam (que) Corporis effodiunt oculos, isti autem animi hebetant cogitatus, cum non permittant perspicere rerum veritatem: vel enim commendant, nonnunquam quae reprehensione digna sunt, vel reprehendunt plerum (que) quae omni laude sunt maiora, vt de duobus alterum ab ipsis committatur, vel prauorum laus, vel bonorum criminatio: sub aleatore passim luditur alea, sub bellaci bellaturiunt, sub commessatore luxu defluunt, sub ebrio ebrij sunt, sub libidinoso lenocinantur, sub crudeli deferunt ac calumniantur.
In the next place succeedeth the most cruell of wilde Beasts (too frequent in Countrie and Citie) [Page] called a Detracter. Detraectio amicitia venenum, patientiam nostram lingua viperea probans: bonum quod est, abscondit, & malum quod non est mentitur, Greg. serm. 65. This Esopicall Foxe buildeth his chiefe reputation vpon the infamie of others; whom hee may vndermine or slander is his morning and euening meditation: hee is as very a coward as you Clinias; his hottest pursuite is euer behind backe, and his most deadly blowes are with protestation of meaning no harme, or with a dissimulate cōmiseratiue pittie of the partie: Hee is most slauishly submisse, and knoweth the art of words so well, that he can shrowd dishonestie vnder a faire pretext, and is like to him that preserues poison in a golden Vessell Finally, he is the most base amongst men, and to be excluded honest societie, according to that of the Philosopher:
Vir bonus & circumspectus aures Susurronibus & calumniat oribus praebere non debet, qui persaepe aures nostras ita praeoccupant innocentes criminando, vt difficillimum sit id ex praecordijs euellere, quod falsus criminator infixit.
I could now ioyne issue with you, that I haue rightly named you Clinias; that I haue prooued those imputations you lay against vs Masculine Women, are the most honorable ends we ayme at, and that the description of Hic Mulier and Haec Vir is further extended then to the weakest of Women and most foolish of men: I am sure (although the Iurie were so couetous that ten Groates would moue more then a iust cause) if you keepe your purse close, the Verdict will goe on my side: but I am desirous to come to a more friendly end with [Page] you, by offering a reformation of those things you lay against me, and my kindred, prouided that Haec Vir and his Friends shall performe the articles following.
Imprimis, That such Church men, who (vt haec Vir) haue gone out of the way, (laying aside Pride, Vaine-glorie, Couetousnesse, and all other worldly respects) remember that they must answer for their charge, and hereafter feede their Flocks, In iudicio Pastores cum suis gregibus apparebunt, Gregor. Mor. 33. and aboue all goe before them in a good and vnreproueable life, because good Examples edifie more then Precepts, as it is well said to this purpose,
Non est alia breuior aut efficacior ad corrigendos populi mores via, quàm regentis ipsius incorrupta vita; quae si turpibus contaminata flagitijs, etsi caput ipsum pestilens fuerit, latiùs tamen virus serpit.
That all Iudges (if any such be) who haue beene corrupted with bribes, transported with reuenge, Pluit vitium, vbi pluit aurum Greg. in Regist. fauour, or feare, haue notice that hee ought to face a man of courage, vpright, and fearing God; that he is lyable to punishment from God in the heauens, Pessimè iudicabuntur falsò iudicantes, Aug. sup. Psal. 25. and his Prince vpon earth. Let his chiefe meditation be vpon the great charge of Vicegerency, committed to him from both; remembring what danger hee is in here and hereafter, if his obiect be not iustice, if hee defend not the Poore, Widow, and Fatherlesse, oppressed by the Mightie: Iudicantes eadem mente praeditos esse oportet, qua legis latores Lisias, apud Stob. if he square not his iudgements sometimes rather by Conscience then Cases; if he preferre not the publique good before his priuate gayne, minister not by his life the due execution [Page] of Lawes, and euer lay before him these foure following grounds.
1. Iudicium rectum verum (que) non cernit Iudex amore, odio vel pecania corruptus.
2. Iudex sententiam haud proferre debet, nisi vtra (que) parte diligenter audita; quod nisi fecerit, licèt aequum statuerit, haud tamen iustus erit.
3. Iudicis officium est non tantùm res, sed & tempora perscrutari, quo peracto tutus erit.
4. Heroes iustitiae ministri primùm ipsi sint iusti oportet, & immaculata prius omnis honestatis exemplaria, quàm importuni vitiorum correctores.
Lis de rebus facile corruptibilibus celeriter determinari debet, vel res vende apud iurisconsultos, Plut. de Pol.That such Lawyers who formerly haue studied to continue suites, or haue shared (by indirect meanes) in priuate benefit both from plaintife and defendant, shall forth with recall themselues; lest I giue this censure against them:
In nullos seueriùs animaduer tendum quàm in Iuris consultos ac officiarios, quorum prauitas, aut auaritia, rectè institutas leges ad pessimos vsus detorquet.
Publicae cont adictiones & controuersia si officiariorum offensiones subducas leuiores effici solent, Plut. de Pol.That all Attorneyes and Pettifoggers (whereof there is greater store in euery Market towne, and in some Villages, then formerly hath beene in a whole Countrey) who now striues (by setting neighbors at strife) for multitude of Clyents, may either become peace makers, or discharge the trust reposed in them, or then acknowledge that they maintaine this Maximum.
Lucrum, pudori praestat, & lucri bonus odor è re qualibet.
That all Puritans (who thinke euery idle suggestion consonant to their burning braynes lawfull, Nouitas contra Ecclesiae ritum non placet, est enim mater temeritaris, soror superstitionis, & filiae leuitatis, Bern. in Epist. can see nothing in others but (through the glasse of preiudicate opinions, deformities and abuses) submit them selues to the vniformitie of spirituall and ciuill gouernement, lest this saying of Greg. Naz. be iustly applyed to them:
Tanquam de Deo ac re omnium maxima salute (que) ipsa primaria (que) spe certamen habentes, at (que) obsequium non pietatem sed veritatis proditionem interpretantes, omnia antè proiecerint, quàm opiniones quas dome secum afferunt.
That all plotting Papists, seminarie Priests, Omne fidoi dogma sacris scripturis non congruens superstitiosum est, Chrys. Hom. 1. Omnibus est odio erudilitas & amori pictas, Gic. bloudy Iesuites, hoorded in Countrey and City, take their oath of allegiance, imbrace the truth, become good Subiects, by forsaking deuillish imaginations, superstitious and humane traditions, or then retire themselues to Rome, keeping this Warrant:
That all Citizens, Merchants, and Tradesmen, from the highest to the lowest (that fight vnder the colours of Haec Vir) neither sophisticate their wares, neither sell them at higher rates, Nemo habet iniustum lucrum fine iusto damno, Aug serra. 48. then (with reasonable gaine) they may maintaine their charge; but more specially that they sell no rotten Pepper, Ginger, Clones, and other Indian trash, at double rate, to yong heires vpon statutes; lest by a former conueyance they lose both principall and interest; because
In hac artium sola euenit vt vnicui (que) medicum professo, statim credatur, cum sit periculum in nullo mendacio maius, Plin. sent. 29.That good examination and triall preceede the admission of Doctors of Phisicke, Apothecaries, Chirurgeons, and Empiricks that are of this order; lest they kill more in a yeere then they cure in twentie, and giue their Patients iust cause to pray: ‘Amedico indocto libera me Domine.’
That all Vsurers and Brokers, Habes, ne foenereris quia non indiges: non habes, ne foenereris quia satisfacere non potes, Plut. de Vsur. leaue their biting bargaines, and either conuert their moneyes to honest purchase, husbandry in the Countrey, or aduenture it vpon more lawfull trade in the Citie; by vertue of the following reasons.
Tollendus penitus Faenerator, ne (sub quouis praetextu populi detrimento) foedissimum illud vitae genus exerceatur: quisquis enim pecuniae studium tollet, vitiorum neruos resecabit: vbi enim pecuniae amor, ibi fides, probitas, pudor, amicitia, & omnia bona vilia sunt.
That such of the Gentrie as are vniustly dispossest of their countrey habitations (by Iacke-dawes, Infestissima hominibus possessio est ager, apud Stob. Primum luxuria ciuitates ingreditur, deinde saturitas, postea contumelia, postea exilium, Thucid. Quicquid pauperi dederis, tu habebis: quicquid non dederis, alter habebit, Pet. Rau. Owles, and night-Crowes) shall presently repossesse themselues and keepe residence till their Princes seruice or some other vrgent necessitie withdraw them; banish all prodigall charges, (to which Cities are most subiect) and in liew thereof maintaine frugall hospitality, educate their Children religiously, be a comfort to their friends, repayre the now decayed estate of poore Farmers and Tenants, and inuest themselues in the true nobilitate vertues of their ancestors; for nobilitie without vertue, is a shadow without substance, according to the Stagiricke saying:
Nobilitas est quaedam maiorum claritas & laus veniens de meritis parentum; sed ea natiuum decus suum in filijs amittit, si parentum virtutibus non responderint; nam nobilitas cognatorum nobis non [Page] prodest, nisi fuerimus nos ipsi boni; quanto enim vita, maiorum praeclarior, tanto posteriorum socordia flagitiosior est.
These aboue named are the chiefe persons whose reformation shall binde vs Masculine Women to the good behauiour: others there bee whom I will not grace, by couenanting with them, because they are almost (if not altogether) past hope of recouerie, and threfore I exclude them from any benefit of this agreement.
First, the Informer and promoting Knaue (amongst a thousand of whom one honest man is hardly found) whose first institution was to enforme the Kings Courts of abuses prohibited by Law; for which seruice the halfe of such fines as by the Law (by their information) was recouerable, was allowed to them; but this commendable beginning is so depraued and inuerted by the multitude of intruding Vagabonds (proiecting nothing but their owne benefit) that the innocent are rather troubled then the guiltie punished, Iniquum est vt nocens poenam euadat, at (que) vt innocens plectatur, Quintil. compositions drawne before triall, the King defrauded, and his Courts abused;
Item, all hard harted Iaylors who (like the Cat) playes with his trembling prisoner, Maxima pars hominum qui carceribus praeferuntur, situt illu subiecti, praedae sunt, ita illi (fine resipiscentia) saepe diabolo, apud Stob. so long as his purse is able to defray their exorbitant exactions, & then preyes so vpon his decaying body, that within short time his obstinate Creditor may make Dice of his bones
Item, All bankrupt Serieants and Baylifes, the Iaylors bloud-hounds, that (at Chancery Lane end, [Page] the Exchange, Fleet-street, Strond, Kings-street, Licet enīm officium quod praestant necessarium sit, tamen qui contra pietatem tale offi ium exercent pro nebulonibus sunt habendi, Reinb. Lor. Homines non facile decipiuntur, nisi in eo quod nesciunt, aut in eo, cuius cognitio non est valde manifesta. Arist. Motaph. 4. and elsewhere thorowout England) hunts more greedily after a decayed Debtor, then the Lyon or Wolfe after a slow Asse, or innocent Lambe.
Item, All cheating Horse-coursers, who (by tricks and oathes) sell lame jades, fatted by grames or other trash, to ignorant strangers, or purse-beaten trauellers, at greater price then the skin and shooes are worth.
Item, The ingrain'd Ostler, who sells his Hay by the bottle (or rather bootfull) can furnish six pecks out of a bushell of Market measure at double rate, and (if hee hath not anointed the Trauellers Horse teeth) will draw the best part of his allowance backe to the Osterie; and if this serue not, will picke a shooe from your Horse, breake your Bridle, steale your Girth, or giue notice of the weight of your Cloke-bagge, lest hee fayle in correspondence with his ancient confederates, the Smith, Sadler, and high way Robber.
Item, All high-way Rogues, that sells Callico for Cambricke, watered white yron hilts for hatched siluer, Dutch sixe-penny blades for vpright Toledoes, deceiues young Nouices and old Gulls with trash, imposture, and deceitfull ware.
Item, All counterfait strong Beggers, Elcemosyna ad necessitatem non ad pigritiam accip end 1, Aug: de oper. Mon. who (by high-wayes and other places) goe lame all day, and whole at night.
Now, to vntie all that I haue knit vp in this Exclamation, I doe aduise all such that may come vnder the name of Haec Vir, or (who misgouernes themselues, and are the stumbling blocks whereupon [Page] others fall, Durum est, vt qui nescit tenere moderamina vitae suae, iudex fiat vita aliena, Chrys. Parere filios necessitatis opus, rectè autem educare pij amoris, Eurip. apud. Stob.) first remoue those misty clouds of darkenesse, that now ouer-shadowes their owne sight, and then boldly presume to cleare the eyes of others; that they goe before vs in imbracing of vertue, and shunning of vice, and by good education enter vs in the pathes of modestie, from which now we are estranged: and then (without doubt) we that are the weaker Vessels (now onely misse-led by the ouer-sight of carelesse Parents, or indulgence of effeminate husbands, are let loose to all licentiousnesse) shall in short time cast off all such deformities, wherewith you now taxe vs. And so (because I must make mee vnready and goe to a maske) I bid you good night.