NOW fie vpon seeking honest men in knaues Skins: I am euen as wearie as euer was PLATOES Dog. Not a Stréete Lane, or Alley in all the Cittie of Athens, but I haue trode it, and cannot méete a man worthy the giuing of the good mor­row too: Why? What Ras­calls be these? Haue they banisht honest men out of the towne puite? Alas poore Vertue, What hast thou done to deserue this contempt? base is thy attire, as [...]hrid­bare in thy Apparel as my Gowne: thy Company out of request, for thou hast walked so long alone: that thou art euen walked away with thy selfe: ther's no goodnes to bée found, All's set vpon villany. Younder walkes Briberie, taken for an honest substanciall graue Citty­zen, I marie is he, pray, make him one of your common Counsell.

There goes Crueltie and Extortion, put off your Hattes all to him: tis well done, he is one of the prin­cipall and best in the Parish, he hath borne all offices and neuer did good: a most abhominable rich fellow, But how the Diuel came he by his wealth? Widdowes, Wi­dowes, thrée or fower olde rusty Golde begetting Wi­dowes haue crown'd him with their wealthes, and that [Page] wicked Mamnion is déerer v [...] him then his owne soule: Nay, if he had Fiue Thousand Soules, hée would sell them all for fiue thousand duckets of golde.

Stay let me sée, what's hee? Oh tis Prodigalitie and his whore, a Gentleman and a Gentlewoman, they are walking towordes the Suburbs of a Baudie house for their recreation, Yonder rides the Bawde in her Coach before, and they two come leysurely with the pox) behinde but will all meete together anon to make worke for the Chirurgion, who will answeare their loose bodie with the Squirt.

Now Ile assure you though I laugh but sildome, I must needes: make merry with yonder Asse, why hee is trapt for all the world like Alexanders Horse, such a feather in's head, so begarded, and the very same Trot: I haue knowne his Father well, hee was a most graue Senator (in regard of his gray beard) and did much little good in the Cittie, got wealth. and pild vp golde euen as they pile vp Stock-fish in Island, and now his Sonne (the second part of a [...]oole) has all all: marrie what doth he with it? stay, (let me snuffe my Candle and Ile tell you) euen like one of Signeour Scatter-goods politicians hee deuides it into partes: A greate portion for Dicing: a good some for Drinking, a par­ceil for whoring, a moitie for pride, a third for daun­cing six shares and a halfe for swaggering, and all the remainder for begger [...]e. Walke along knaue, walke along.

Who haue we next comes creeping with the palsey in his ioynts, a great leather pouch by his side as large as a Gammon of Bacon, long stockings and a side coate crosse-bard with veluet to his knees? stay (light, light) let me see: oh I knowe the damned [...]la [...]e tis Mounsiur Vsurie, what a lea [...]e lanke thin gut it is: hee lookes maruailous like a long omtie Cats-skinn purs [...]e, I [Page] would I had his skinne to make me a summer paire o [...] Buskins.

O what a blessednes is it to me, that I neuer came into such villaines clutches what does hee, pray, as hee goes his Chaps walke so? fast No, the Rogue is ruminating vpon his pawnes, hée chawes the Cud in contemplation of Bands and Billes, I dare be sworne hée neuer champs so much vpon his dinner or Supper, for his panch cries out on him, and all the gutts in his Pudding-house, rumple. and grumble at their slen­der allowance, He obiectes the old prouerbe to his belly, Many a sacke is tyed vp before it be full. I would I had the dyeting of him some month with my Rootes, I would send him deeper vnder Ground then ere they grew: the Caniball should neuer feede more vpon poore men, and play the D [...]ce-maker with their bones hang him rogue, hang him

how now thou drunken knaue, Canst not sée but réele vpon me? I would I had béene ware of thee, thou shouldst haue borne me a good bange with my Staffe: what slaue's this? as I liue I was almost downe

Looke how his cloake hangs, one side to his ankles and th'other side to his elbow: his steps take the Longitude and the latitude, hoise, hoise: This fellowe is now (in his owne conceit) mightely strong, for hée dares fight with any men: he is exceeding rich, scornes money, and ca [...]es not for twentie thousand pound: hee is maruailous wise, and [...]ut, tell not him, for he knowes more then any man whatsoeuer. What's hee that dares refuss to pledg him [...] as sure as death if he could feele or finde his dagger, stabbes would be dealt: harke how the villaine sweare, there's all his hostesse hath in pawde for his score, Yet hee's a passing good Custo­mer for vttrance, about a barrell aday goes downe his gutter, So take him in there at the red [...]attice. hee has cast anchor at the blewe Anchor for this day. Fill [Page] him of the best, for he is euen one of the best Ghuestes that euer tooke vp sodden water with Chaulke-credit on a Post. Out vpon him, out vpon him, Ile read his desti­nie: Dye in a Ditch knaue, or end in an Hospitall Ras­call chuse whether thou wilt.

How lookes yonder fellow? what's the matter with him trow? has a eaten Bull-biefe? there's a lofty slaue indeede hee's in the alitudes: Oh, ist you Maister Am­bition? I would be glad to see you hang'de a while for an old acquaintance [...] a great man with the Emperor: ile assure you, a great man with y ^t Emperor: his voyce is heard in the Court now, and his Fathers voyce was wo [...]nt to be heard in the Cittie: For I haue heard him many a time and often, cry Brpomes in Athens: a good plaine honestman, and dealt much with old Shooes: I heare him once tell this proud knaue being then a boy) a good discourse of Iustice out of a Broome: Sirra (said hee) heer's byrch to correct you in Child-hood, and when you grow to be a great Lubber, heer's a staffe for to be la­bour you w ^t all: Yf that will not serue to a-mend you, why then hecres euen a good With to hang you vp: Amen saide I hee's growing towards it apace [...]aspiring to rise hie plotting to be mightie: and what tooles has he out of the Dwells shop for his worke? Treason, Treason he will ascend by Treason though he climbe the gallowes for it and cruck his neck in comming downe againe. I [...] I salute him and put off my cappe I would my Lanthorne were in my Belly. Vertue scornes him, I know him not: strout a-long Sirra, for thou hast not long to strout it.

More knaues abroad yet? Yonders Boasting & Pre­sumption I holde my life as olde as I am ile take his Kapiet from him with my walking staffe, hee's all sound and breath tongue and talke; feares no man, cares for no man beholding to no man: but trie his valour put him to it, see whats in him, dare him to the proofe and [Page] there's mine emtie fellowe like a water bubble flyling in the ayre till a puffe cracke him: I neuer knew (since I knew reason) a wordie fellow prooue a worthie fel­low: a man must set his hand to his man-hood, and fin­ger it, twill not bée had with wounds and blood, heart and nailes, as euery rascally knaue makes account: when two curres meete, all the while they barke they haue no leysure to byte: Alexander had a bragging Souldier that swore he had kild fiue hundred men with fillips, yet this fellow sware the peace against a woman that had broken his head with his owne dagger: and tother day, I followed a couple of notorious braggarrs into the field, one sware hée would imbrew his Kapies hilts in the bowels of his foe, the other vowed to make him eate yron and stéele like an Estridge: when they came to the place ap [...]inted, both drew their weapons, laide them presently downe and went to bussels for a bloodie nose, which I séeing ran to the towne and cry'd murder, murder and so brought thrée hundred people to­gether to laugh at them. I could tell many like exam­ples of S [...]ignior Feather cappe and his fellow, but that I spie another knaue comming, that puts me out

Tis Contention (nay, ile goe l [...]w enough to the [...]en­nell, thou shalt not iustle me for the wall) loo [...]e how hee stares: see how a frownes, hee has had a poore man in Lawe this three yeere, for bidding his Dog Come out Cuckolds curre, yet if the Dog could speake, hee would beare witnesse against his Master for Horne worke that hee had seene wrought by his M [...]stris in her Chamber to make her husband night-caps of.

Oh, striffe is the summe of his [...], [...]is the [...]lace of his soule hee is neuer well at hearts [...] he be not wran [...]ling with one or other: ile trie it by the law sayes hee) the lawe shall iudge it: ile co [...]e to no agreement but lawe: ile pinch him by the lawe: I haue a hundred pound to spend at law: and all law, law: yet hee him­selfe [Page] is altogether voide of equitie: héele neither take wrong nor doe right: bites his poore neighbours doggedly by the backe, scornes his superiour, tramples vpon his inferior, and so hée may bée wrangling, cares not with whom it be, to keepe his hand in vre. He neuer went to bed in charitie in his life, nor neuer wakes without meditating shrewde turnes. Oh he loues wonderfully to be feeding on the bread of s [...]rife and imitates the Camels which del [...]ght to dr [...]e in [...]ubled pooles. well hee shall [...]o [...]ne no neighbour-hood with mee for it: my Tunn stands farre inough off from his house: I had rather haue a Beare to my next neighbour, then such a brabling rascall: goe walke a knaue in the horse fayre, I haue nothing to say to thee but farewell and behang'd and when thou art going that iourney, take all thy fel­lowes with thee.

Well met, or rather ill met Hipocrisie: Ah thou smooth face villaine with the fawning tongue art thou b [...]come a citizen too, then looke about you plaine fellows, you shall be sure to want no deceit: he hats swearing so doe I: tis well done to hate it, but he loues lying and will ouer-reach you in a bad bargaine, or with [...]alse waight and measure: Yes indeed: I truly will he Héele sigh and say there's no conscience now adayes, and then makes his owne actions beare witnesse to it' by yea and nay, if he can he will deceiue you.

Looke to his hands hearken not to his tongue, and say I haue giuen you faire warning, for a Philosopher hath béene co [...]sned by him. I had rather haue it said, Diogi­nes was deceiued, then so heare it reported hée is a de­ceiuer. I paid for a better cappe then I weare, and my gowne is scarce worth halfe the mony it cost me marry what remedie? nothing: I haue [...]earned by it onely, A knacke to knowe a kna [...]e: and while I liue, ile looke better to Yes truely, and I indeed: Hipocrisie shall neuer fell me good wordes againe while hee liu [...]s: ile neuer [...]ell me good wordes againe while hte liues: ile [Page] neuer buy breath more for mony. If a théefe should méete me going home, and taking away my purse, I would say I met with an honester man, then hée that cusned me in the buying of my gowne, for the théefe would prooue a man of his worde, and tell mée what I should trust to in the peremptorie tearms of Stand, De­liuer your purse.

But my Gowne-brother, he promist me good stuffe, truely, a great penni-worth indeede, and verily did gu [...]l me. But let me take my leaue of my purse, hées's a vil­laine, an arrant villaine, and I could euen finde in my heart to eat his liuer fride with par [...]ley to morrow mor­ning to breakefast.

How now, whats the matter; whether goes all this hurly burley? heer's a clutter indéed. Now I sée, now I see, Coson [...]ge the Swaggerer is carried to Prison. I heare the people say hee hath stab'd the Constable, beate the watch, broke the Tapsters head, and layn with his Hostesse.

Heere is no villaine: pray search his pockets: I [...]ol [...]e you as much, false heart, false hand and false dice: what crooked tooles are those in's tother Pocket: Pick-lockes pick-lockes: This fellow liues by his wittes, but yet belongs not to Wits Common wealth▪ he swires he is a Gentleman, but of what house? Marry Cheters Ordinarie: an ingenious flaue, that workes a liuing out of hard bones, and has it at his fingers ends: eue­ry man with him is a very Roh [...]e and a base Gull: he threatens stabs and death, with heart wounds & blood, yet a bloody nose hath made him call for a Chir [...]rgion, He scornes to dwell in a sute of appahell a weeke: this day in Sattin, to morrow in Sackloth, one day all new, the next day all seam-rent: now on his backe, anon at the brokers, and this by his reckoning is a gentlemans humour Sure I cannot denie but if it may be so, but I pray then what humor is the geltleman in? he is neuer [Page] (in my opinion) like to prooue gentlemen be the humor.

Away with him, away with him, make sure worke, chaine and kennell him vp in tatle, make him a Knight of the douiorous Castle.

He will doe better farre tied vp then loose at libertie, let him not play the wandring Pilgrim in any case, there's no remedie for such wilde fellowes, but to tame them in the d [...]nger [...] of [...] follow him close watch­man with your Ha [...]erts, least he shew you a new dance cal'd runne-awaies galliard So, s [...], by this time he lies where hee's like to prooue lowsie if the [...]e be not some speedy remedie vser, with a medicine made of Hempseed to kill his itch.

Who haue we next pray? I should know him by his vilanous scuruie lookes, a makes a wry mouth, and has a grinning countenance, for all the world like Detacti­on: why tis he indeed, a rope stretch him, has not the Crowes pickt out his eyes yet: See how hee laughs to himselfe, at yonder piaine Gentlewoman in the old fashi­on, because shee has not the trash and trumperie of Mi­stris Loose-legges about her.

Dost thou deride Ciuilitie, Knaue? is decencie become rediculous? looke vpon thy selfe the [...] Rascall, looke vp­on thy selfe, whom all the wisemen in the worlde may laugh to scorne indeed.

Thou hasse nothing in thee, (if thy inside were turned outward worthy of the least [...] [...]nta [...]en, and yet such villaines will euer be scoffing (deriding and detrac­ting, from those of the best spirits and worthiest endé­uours) learned mens workes, industrious mens tra­uailes, gr [...]t mens counsels, [...] mens vertues, and wise mens arts, Detraction will spit [...]enome at: no­thing is well done that flowes not from his durtie inuen­tion: he has scoffes for them he knowes not, and iestes for them he neuer sawe, what a worlds this, when a foole shall censure a Philosopher? a doult an [...]deot, one [Page] that hath wit in's hcele and head alike, to condemne and depraue natures miracles for wit and wisedome.

This is he that can mend euery thing that is readie made to his hand detracting from the wortinesse of euery mans worke: tis a villaine, a right villaine bred and borne, he came not long since along my Tub-house, and scoffing at me, asked me why I made it not a tap-house? marry (quoth I) I haue determined so to do but I want such arogue as thou art to make a signe [...]: with that cald he me Dagge, Said I, thou didst neuer heare mee barke, but thou shalt seele mre bite, and so thrust my Pike-st [...]e through his chockes, that I made his teeth chatter in his head, like a Uiper as he is.

Nay then we shall neuer hau [...] done, looke where Ie­losie is as, yellow as if hee had the yellowe Iaund [...]ce: his wife's an honest woman (in my conscience) loyall and true in we [...]locke: but because he like a fornicating rascall vses common Cur [...]ozuns, hee thinkes her carte­sies and theirs are all alike to euery man come who will: his eyes followe her feete wheresoeuer shee goes: if any friend salute her, shee dares not reply, but must passe stranger-like without any showe of Curtesie: hee sweares thee is a [...]hore, and himselfe alarge horned Cuckolde, able to runne But with all Cuckoldes in the Towne.

Nay, hee is growne to such outrage, that hee is e­uen fr [...]nticke with [...]ealosie, sometimes offering to lay wagers that no Bu [...]l dare [...] encoun [...]er with his head, and that his hornes are more preti [...]s then any U [...]i­corne. the ha [...]erda [...]her cannot [...]it h [...]m with a hate wide enough: The Barbor cannot t [...]me his fore-heade close enough, and yet the pore hath made his be [...]rd th [...] enough▪ hee sayes hee thinkes there's [...]ot an honest wo­man [...] to his knowledge, and the re [...]son is, he is [...] [...] with none but whor [...]s. A Bawdie-house is for his bodily ex [...]ercise, and hee can not liue without [Page] his lecherie, be hath whores of all complexions, whores of all fizes, and whores of all diseases: and this is the cause that the villanous fellow déemes all to be whores. But maisters marke the end of him that hath béene laid f [...]iue times of the Poxe, if he be not throughly Frenche fide and well prepared for his venerie, then will I for seuen yeares eate Hay with a Horse: well, ile crosse the way to tother side the stréete, be fore hée come too nigh mee, I dare not indure him, tis good sléeping in a sound Skin? I would not be in his coate for Alexanders ri [...]h gowne, out stinking Knaue out Houlde off thy cart Knaue, wilt ouer-runn me? thy horse hath more ho­nestie in him then thou, for he auoides [...]e, and thou drawest vppon me. So villaine so, curse the creature that gets thy liuing, and see how thou wilt thriue by it Thou blinde Knaue, Porter, doost rush vpon me with thy basket, and then sayest, by your leaue? belike thou meanest to [...]iustle me againe, for thou didst aske no leaue the first time before hand, what brutish slaues doe I meet with? my staffe shall meete with some of you a none: Take thou that knaue, for crying, broomes so lowd in mine eares, heeres a quoile indeede, your Cittie shuflings rumling, and tumling, is not for my hu­mor. What a filthy throte has that Oyster wife, I thinke twill echo in my braue panne this houre. This is the raging streete of our cries, ile out walke is with all the speede I can.

Hetherto haue I met with neuer an honest man, well ile burne out my candles-end, and then make an ende and get me home. So, that is good to begin with all: Had your street neuer a Knaue to encounter my first entrance but Discord? Malum Omen, Mulcum Omen, This is hee that sets Countries and Kingdomes toge­ther by the eares, breedes Citties mutunes, and dome­sticall contetions, Prince against Prince, Nation a­gainst Notion, Kindred, Neighbour, Friend all at vari­ance. [Page] This is he that calles Peace with her palme free, idle huswife, and soundes defiance throughout the whole world: you are wrong'd (sayes hee) put not vp such a vile indignitie: this disgrace no man-hood can indure, your valour and reputation is in state of preiudice, tis wounded by such a one, and you cannot in any wise put it vp for the whole world takes notice of it, and all men will censure you

This is the rascall that made me fall out with Pla­to, call him proude fellow, and trample vpon his bed, because it was somewhat handsomer and better deckt then mine. In all his life-time, (and ile assure you tis an old, gray, leane, dry, rotten-bon'd villaine) did hée neuer showe chéerefull countenance but at the sight of some mischiefe: hee would rather bite his tongue thorow, then bid any man good morrow. So, so, now it workes, hee's got amongst a crue of scoldling Fish­wiues, off goes her head-tyre, haue at tothers throate, to her greene Waste-coate: why now it workes like waxe.

Thrust in Cut-purse for there's good peniworths to bee had amongst them, the Trade is like to be quicke by and by, customers come apace, make a priiue s [...]arch without a Constable, ile stay no longer with you, a rope tid you all. Now fie vpon thee s [...]ouenly Knaue, when didst thou wash thy face? Heere's Sloth right in his kinde: the hat he weares all day, at euening becom [...]h his night-cap his frieze gowne sconse, wherein hee in tren­ches himselfe is at least thirtie thousand strong: garter thy hose beast, garter thy hose, or will the Poxe indure no Garters?

This fellow I remember comming to a sig-tree be­ing so extreeme lasie that bee could not stretch his arme out to gather any, laide himselfe downe vpon his backe and gaping, cryed:

This is hee that riseth late, and goes earely to bed, vp to eate and downe to sleepe, scornes to labour, for he is as sti [...]e iointed as the Elephant, and rather then hee would indure halfe an houres labor, hee would willing­ly choose a whole houres hanging. I know no vse in the world for him, except to keepe the citie bread from moul­ding, and the towne liquor from sowring.

This is he, that lying at ease vpon his backe, where: a Cart was to passe, intreated the Carman to draw ea­sie ouer him, for he could not rise yet, till his lasie fit was past this is he that could rather be lowsie then indure to haue his shirt washed, and had rather goe to bed in hoose and shooes, then stoope to pull them off. Hee is fitted with a wife euen pat of his owne humor, for tother day heating broth for her husbands breakfast, the Cat cri'd new in the porridge pot: Wife (said he) take out poore Puise alas how came shee there? With that shee tooke out the Cat by the eare, and stroking off the Por­redge from her into the pot, they two wen louingly to breakfast with it.

A shame take them both for filthy companions. for their broth is abominable: who, then wee shall neuer haue done: heeres hell broke loose, swarming together. Derision, he goes before and scoffes euery man hee meets doost laugh at my Lanthorne, knaue, because I vse Candle-light by day? Why villaine tis to seeke such as [...]on'le neuer be: Honest men.

Violence he walkes with him, heel'e do iniurie to his owne Father (if he can) all that he weares on his backe and all that hee puts in his belly, is got by oporesion, wrong and crueltie: he cares not how hee gets it, so hee gets it, nor from whence he take it, so he haue it.

Ingratitude makes one in their Consort, and inhue­man [Page] and vnciuill sauage, if a man should doe him a thousand good turnes in a day, he would neuers giue a thousand good wordes in a yeare for them.

Impatience is a nother of their sraternitie: a raging knaue, an vnquiet turbulent rogue, hée'le allow time for nothing, al's at a minnits warning that he calls for, or hée'le rage, raile, curse and sweare, that a wiseman would not for ten pound be within ten myles of him.

Who's the other hold vp thy head knaue: O tis Dulnes, the most notorious blook-head that euer p [...]st: in­struct him till your tongue ake he has no eares for you: theres nothing in him but the [...]sses vertue, thats dull melancholy: how l [...]mpish a lookes▪ out rascalles out: Now a murraine take you all, I did ne [...]er make a worse dayes worke in my life then I haue done to day: heere's a Cittie well blest, is well prouided I wa [...]rant you If a man should neede a honest-mans help, where should he [...]ind him? Well, farewell Athens I and my Tubbe scornes thee and thy Citizens.