The thrie Tailes of the thrie Priests of Peblis.

Contayning manie notabill examples and sentences, and (that the paper sould not be voide) supply it [...]i [...] sundrie merie tailes, verie pleasant to the Reider and mai [...] [...]xactlie corrected [...] the former [...]pression.

[...] Ovid. [...] dicique [...] [...]

[figure]

IMPRINTED AT EDINBVRGH be Robert Charteris▪ 1603. CVM PRIVILEGIO REGALI.

THE PREFACE.

IN Pablis town sum tyme as I heard [...]ell,
The formest day of Februare befell:
Thrie Preists went vnto collatioun,
Into ane priuie place of the said toun▪
Quhair that they sat richt soft and vnfutesair,
Thay luifit not na rangald nor repair.
And gif I sall the suith reckin and say,
I traist it was vpon Sanct Bryds day.
Quhair that thay sat ful easilie and soft,
With monie lowd lauchter vpon loft:
And wit ȝe weil thir thrie thay maid gude cheir,
To them thair was na dainteis than too deir
With thrie sed cap [...]ns on a speit with creis [...]he,
With monie v [...]her sindrie dyuers meis:
And them to serue thay had nocht bot a boy,
Fra cumpanie thay keipit them sa coy,
Thay lufit nocht with la [...]ry nor with lown,
Nor with trumpours to trauel throw the town:
Bot with them self quhat thay wald tel or crak,
Vmquhyle sadlie, vmqu [...]yle jangle and jak.
Thus sat thir thrie besyde ane fel [...]n fyre,
Quhil thair capons war rois [...]ic lim and lyre:
Befoir th [...]m was sone see a Roundel bricht,
And with ane clene claith fynelie dicht.
It was ouirset and on it bre [...] was laid,
The eldest than began the grace and said
And blissit the breid with Benedice [...]e,
With Dominus Amen, sa mot I the.
And be thay had drunken about a quarte,
Than spak ane thus that Maister was in Arte:
And to his name thair callit Iohne was he.
And said senwe ar heir Preists thrie,
Syne wan [...]s nocht be him that maid the Mone,
Til vs wee think ane tail sould cum in tune:
Than spak ane other to name hecht M. Archebald,
[Page] Now be the hiest Heuin quod he I hal [...].
To tel ane tailm [...] think I sould not tyre,
To hald my fute [...] of this fellou [...] fyre.
Than spak the thrid to name hecht S. Williame
To grit clargie I can not count nor clame.
Nor ȝit I am not trauell [...]t as ar ȝe,
In monie sundrie Land beȝond the See.
Thairfoir me think it nouther shame nor sin,
Ane of ȝow twa the first [...]ail to begin.
Heir I pr [...]est than sp [...]k. maister Archebald,
Ane tau [...]l [...]it Clark suppois I be cald:
Presumpteouslie I think not to presume,
As I that was neuer trauellit bot to Rome.
To tel ane tail bot eirar I suppone,
The first tail tald mot be Maister Iohne:
For he hath bene in monie vncouth Land,
In Portingale and in Ciuile the grand.
In fyue kinrikis of Spane al hes he bene,
In foure christin and ane heathin I wene:
In Rome Flanders and in Venice toun,
And vther Lands sundrie vp and doun.
And for that he spak first of ane tail,
Thairfoir to begin he sould not fall.
Than speiks Maister Iohne now be the Rude,
Me to begin ane tail sen ȝe conclude:
And I deny than had I sair offendit.
The thing begun, the soner it is endit.

The first taill tald be Maister Iohne.

A King thair was sumtyme and eik a Queene
As monie in the Land befoir had bene:
This King gar [...] set ane plane Parliament,
And for the Lords of his kinrik sent:
And for the weilfair of his Realme and gyde,
The thrie Estaits concludit at that tyde▪
The King gart cal to his Palice al thrie,
The Estaits ilkane in thair degrie.
The Bishops first with Prelats and Abbottis,
[Page] With thair Clarks seruants and Varlottis:
Into ane hall was large richt hie and hugde,
Thir Prelats all richt lustelie couth ludge.
Syne in ane hal ful fair farrand,
He ludgit al the Lords of his Land,
Syne in ane Hal was vnder that ful clene,
He har bourit al his Burgessis rich and bene
Sa of thir thrie Estaits al and sum,
In thir thrie Hals he gart the wysest cum,
And of thair mery cheir quhat mak I mair,
Thay fuir als weil as onie folk micht fair.
The King himself come to this Burgessis bene.
And thir words to them carps I wene
And says welcum Burgessis my be [...]ld and blis,
Quhen ȝe fair weil I may na mirths mis.
Quhen that ȝour ships halds hail and sound,
In riches, gudes and weilfair I abound:
Ze ar the caus of my lyfe and my cheir,
Out of far Lands ȝour Marchandice cums heir.
Bot ane thing is for short the cause qu [...]y,
Togidder heir ȝow gart cum haue I.
To ȝow I haue ane questioun to declair,
Quhy Burges bairns thryues not to the thrid air.
Bot casts away it that thair eldars wan,
Declair me now this questioun gif ȝe can.
To ȝow I gif this questioun al and sum,
For to declair againe the morne I cum.
Vnto his Lords than cumen is the King,
Dois glaidlie al he said baith ald and ȝing,
My lustie Lords my Leiges and my lyfe,
I am in sturt quhen that ȝe ar in stryfe.
Quhen ȝe haue peace and quh [...]n ȝe haue plesance,
Than I am glade and derflie may I dance,
And heid dow not on bodie stand allane,
For out members to be of micht and mane.
For to vphald the bodie and the heid,
And sickerlieto gar it stand in steid.
Thairfoir my Lords and my Barrouns bald,
To me al hail ȝe ar help and vphald.
[Page] And now I will ȝe wit with diligence,
Quhairfoir that I gart cum sik confluence:
And quhy ȝe Lords of my Parliament,
I haue gart cum I will tel my intent.
Ane questioun I haue ȝe mon declair,
That in my minde is euer mair and mair:
Quhairfoir and quhy and quhat is the cais,
Sa worthie Lords war in myne elders dayis,
Sa full of fredome worship and honour,
Hardie in hart to stand in euerie stour:
And now in ȝow I find the hail contrair,
Thairfoir th [...] dout and questioun ȝe declair:
And it declair vnder the hiest pane,
The morne this tyme quhen that I cum agane.
THAN till his Clergie came this nobil King,
Wel [...]um Bishops he said with my blissing:
Welcum my be [...]dmen, my blesse and al my beild,
To me ȝe ar baith Helmes Speir and Scheild.
For richt as Moy [...]es stude vpon the Mont,
Prayand to God of Heuin as he was wont,
And richt sa [...]y ȝour deuoit Orisoun,
Myne enemies lould put to confusioun.
Ze ar the gamest ga [...]t and gyde to God,
Of al my Realme ȝe ar the reul and rod:
It that ȝe do me think it sould be done,
Quhen that ȝe shrink I haue ane sunȝ [...]e sone.
Thus be ȝow ay ane e [...]ample men tais,
And as ȝe say than al and sundrie sayis:
It that ȝe think richt or ȝit ressoun,
To that can I nor na man haue chessoun.
And that ȝe think vnressoun or wrang,
Wee al and sundrie sings the sam [...] sang:
Bot ane thing is I wald ȝe vnderstude,
The cause into this place for to conclude.
Quhairfoir and quhy I gart ȝow hidder [...],
My Clargie and my Clarks al a [...]d sum:
To ȝow I haue na vther tail nor theame,
E [...]cept and to ȝow Bishops a probleame.
Quhilk is to me ane questioun and dout,
[Page] Out of my mynd I wald ȝe put it out▪
That is to say quhairfoir and quhy,
In auld tymes and dayes of ancestry.
Sa monie Bishops war and men of Kirk,
Sa grit wil had ay gude warkes to wirk:
And throw thair prayers maid to God of micht,
The dum men spak, the Blind men gat yair sicht.
The Deif men heiring, the Crukit gat t [...]air feit,
War nane in bail, bot weill thay culd them beit.
To seik folks or into sairnes syne,
Til al thay wald be mendis and medicyne.
And quahairfoir now in ȝour tyme ȝe warie,
As they did than▪ quhairfoir sa may not ȝe,
Quhairfoir may not ȝe as thay did than,
Declair me now this questioun gif ȝe can.

To the Burgessis.

VPON the morne efter seruice and meat,
The King came in and sat doun in his sait:
Into the Hal amang the Burges men,
With him ane Clark with ink paper and pen.
And bad them that thay sould foroutin mair,
His questioun reid assolȝe and declair:
And the Burgessis that this questioun weil knew,
Hes ordaned ane wyse man and ane trew.
The question to reid foroutin fail,
And he stude vp, and this began his tail.

The ansvveir to the first questioun.

EXCELLENT hie richt michty prince & King,
Zour Hienes heir wald faine wit of this thing:
Quhy Burges bairnis thryuis not to the thrid air
Can neuer thryue bot of al baggis is bair.
And euer mair that is for to say,
It that thair Eldars wan thay cast away:
This questioun declair ful weill I can,
Thay begin not quhair thair fathers began.
Bot with ane hiely hart baith daft and derft,
Thay ay begin quhair that thair fathers left:
Of this mater largelie to speik mair,
Quhy that thay thryue not to the thrid air.
[Page] Becaus thair fathers purelie can begin,
With hap and halfpenny and a Lambs skin:
And purelie ran fra town to town on feit,
And than richt oft we [...]shod werie and weit.
Quhilk at the last of manie smals couth mak,
[...] bonte pedder ane gude fute pak [...] ▪
At ilkane fair this chopman ay was fund,
Quhil that his pak was with fourtie pund.
To beir his pak quhen that he faillit force,
He bocht ful sone ane mekil stalwart hors:
And at the last so worthelie vp wan,
He bocht ane Cart to carie Pot and Pan:
Baith Flanders Coffers with Counters and Kist
He wox a grund rich man or onie wist.
And syne vnto the town to sel and by,
He held a chop to sel his chaffery,
Than bocht he wol and wyselie couth it wey,
And efter that sone saylit he the Sey:
Than come he hame a verie potent man,
And spousit syne a michtie wyfe richt than.
He saylit ouer the Sey sa oft and oft,
Quhil at the last ane semelie ship he coft.
And wor sa ful of warldis welth and win,
His hands he wish in ane siluer Basin.
Forout [...] gold or siluer into hurde,
With thrie thowsand pund was his Copburde:
Riche was his gowms with vther garments gay,
For Sonday silk for ilk day grene and gray.
His wyfe was cumlie cled in Scarlet reid,
Scho had na dout of derth of Ail nor breid.
And efter that within a twentie ȝeir,
His Sone gat vp ane stalwart man and steir▪
And efter that this Burges we of reid,
Deit as we mon do al indeid.
And fra he was deid than come his sone,
And enterit in the welth that he had wone.
He steppit not his steps in the streit,
To win this welth nor for it was he weit.
Quhen he wald sleip he wantit not a wink,
[...]
[...]
[Page] Fra thay be al puir that ar them vnder,
Thocht thay be puir, ȝour Lords is na wonder:
For ritch Husbands and tennants of grit micht,
Helps ay thair Lords to hald thair richt.
And quhen ȝour Lords ar puir this to conclude,
Thay selthair Sonnes aud aires for gold & gude.
Vnto ane mokrand Carle for derest pryse,
That wist neuer ȝit of honour nor gentryse.
This worship and honour of linage,
Away it weirs thus for thair disparage:
Thair manheid and thair mense this gait thay murle
For Mariage thus vnyte of ane churle.
The quhilk wist neuer of gentrice na honour,
Of fredome, worship, vassalage nor valour.
This is the caus dreidles for without in dout,
Fra al ȝour Lords how honour is al out.
And thus my Lords bade me to ȝow say,
How honour, fredome and worship is away.
THAN spak the King ȝour conclusion is quaint
And thair a [...]tour ȝe mak to vs a plaint:
And in ȝour sentence thus ȝe meine to say,
Leil men ar hurt and theifis gets away.
And thus me think ȝe meine justice is smuird,
Zour tennants and ȝour leill husbands ar puird,
And quhan that thay ar [...], t [...]an ar ȝe pure,
The quhilk to ȝow is baith charge and cure.
That ȝe for gold [...]aith wed and wage,
Ze sel ȝour Sones and aires Mariage:
To cairls of kynde and bot for thair riches,
In quhom is na nurture nor nobilnes.
Fredome, worship, manheid nor honour,
The quhilk to vs and ȝow is dishonour.
In same kil thus shortlie I conclude,
As ȝe that ar discendand of our blude.
For the quhilk thing I will ȝe vnderstand,
With Gods grace wee tak it vpon hand:
To se for this as ressoun [...] can remeid,
In tyme to cum thairof thair be na pleid.
With our justice thair salpas ane Doctour,
[Page] That lufis God his saul and our honour:
The quhilk salbe aue Doctour in the Law,
That sal the faith of veritie well knaw.
And fra hence furth he sal baith heir and se▪
Baith theif puneist and leil men liue in lie.
For weil I wait thair can be na war thing,
Than Cou [...]eyce in Iustice or in King.
Efter this tail in vs ȝe sal not taint,
Nor ȝit of our Iustice to mak ane plaint:
And afterward sa did this King but chessoun▪
On him micht na man plenȝie of ressoun.
Syne had his Clark but onie variance.
Wr [...]te this in his Buik of rememberance.
THAN to the Clergie came this nobill King,
Of his questioun to heir the absoluing.
And thay as men of wisdome in al wark▪
Had laid thair speich vpon ane cunning Clark.
The quhilk in vaine in scule had not tane grie,
In al science seuin he was ane Aper se:
And in termes short and se [...]ce fair,
The questioun began for to declair.
That is to say quhairfoir and quhy,
In auld tymes and dayes of ancestry.
Sa monie Bishops war and men of Kirk,
Sa grit wil h [...]d ay gude warkes to wirk:
And throw thair prayers maid to God of micht,
The dum men spak, the Blind men gat yair sicht.
The Deif men heiring, the Crukit gat thair feit,
Was nane in bail, bot weil thay could them beit.
And quhairfoir now al that cuir can warie,
Me think ȝe mene quhairfoir sa may not we:
And thus it is ȝour quodlibet and dout,
Ze gaue to vs to reid and gif it out.

The ansvver to the third question.

THIS is the caus richt michtie King at short,
To ȝour Hienes as we sal thus report:
The Lawit folkes this Law wald neuer ceis,
Bot with thair vse quhen Bishops war to cheis.
Vnto the Kirk thay gadred auld and ȝing,
[Page] With meik hart fasting aud praying:
And prayit God with words not in waist.
To send them wit doun be the halie Gaist.
Quhan them amang was onie Bishop deid,
To send to them ane Bishop in his steid.
And ȝit amang vs ar fund wayis thrie,
To cheis ane Bishope after ane vther die:
That is to say the way of the halie Gaist,
Quhilk takin is of micht and vertew maist.
The second is be way of Electioun,
Ane Persone for to cheis of perfectioun:
In that Cathederal Kirk and in that se,
In place quhair that Bishope suld chosen be.
And gif thair be nane abil thair that can,
That office weil steir, quhat sal thay than?
Bot to the thrid way to ga for thi,
Quhilk is callit ( via scrutiui.)
That is to say in al the Realme and Land,
Ane man to get for that office gainand:
Bot thir thrie wayis withoutin ony pleid,
Ane sould we cheis after ane vthers deid.
Bot sit now the contrair wee find,
Quhilk puts al our heauines behind:
Now sal thair nane of thir wayis thrie,
Be chosen now ane Bishope for to be.
Bot than ȝour micht and Majestie wil mak,
Quhat euer he be to loife or ȝit to lak:
Than heyly to sit on the Rayne-bow,
Thir Bishops cums in at the North window,
And not in at the dur nor ȝit at the ȝet.
Bot ouer Waine and Quheil in wil he get:
And he cummis not in at the dur,
God pleuch may neuer hald the fur.
He is na Hird to keip thay sely sheip,
Nocht bot ane Tod in ane Lambskin to crēip:
How sould be kyth mirakil and he sa euil,
Neuer bot bythe dysmel or the Deuil:
For now on dayes is nouther riche nor pure,
Sal get ane Kirk al throw his literature.
[Page] For science for vertew or for blude,
Gets nane the Kirk, bot baith for gold and gude.
Thus greit excellent [...]ing the halie Gaist,
Out of ȝour men of gude away is chaist.
And war not that doutles I ȝow declair,
That now as than, wald hail baith seik and sair.
Sic wickednes this world is within,
That Symonie is countit now na sin.
And thus is the caus baith al and sum,
Quhy blind men sicht, na heiring gets na dum.
And thus is the caus the suich to say,
Quhy halines fra kirkmen is away.
Than quod the King, weil vnderstand I ȝow,
And heir to God I mak ane aith and vow:
And to my Crown and to my Cuntrie to.
With Kirk-gude sal I neuer haue ado.
I [...] to dispone to lytil or to large,
Kirk men to kirk, se [...] thay haue al the charge:
Than had this nobil King lang tyme and space,
And in his tyme was mekil luk and grace.
His Lords honour it him efter thair degrie,
The Husbands peice had and tranquilitie.
The Kirk was frie quhil he was in his lyfe,
The Burges Sones began than for to thryfe.
And efter lang was neuer king more wyse,
And leuit and deit, and endit in Gods seruise.
And than spak al that fellowship but fail,
God and Sanct Martyne quyte ȝow of ȝour tail.
And than spak Maister Archebald fallis me,
Gude tail or euil, quhider that euer it be:
Thus as I can I sal it tel but hyre,
To hald my fute out of this felloun fyre.

The second taill tald be M. Archebald.

A King thair was sumtyme and eik a Queene,
As monie in the Land befoir had bene:
The king was fair in persoun fresh and fors,
Ane feirie man on fute or ȝit on hors.
And neuertheles feil falts him befell,
[Page] Hee luifit ouer weil ȝong counsel:
Zong men he luifit to be him neist,
Zong men to him thay war baith Clark & Preist.
Hee luifit nane was old or ful of age,
Sa did he na [...]e of sad counsel nor sage.
To sport and play quhyle vp & quhylum doun,
To al lichtnes ay was he redie boun.
Sa ouir the Sey, cummin thair was a Clark,
Of greit science, of voyce, word and wark,
And bressit him with al his besynes,
Thus with this king to mak his recidens.
Weil saw he with this kiag micht na man byde,
Bot thay that wald al sadnes set on syde.
With club and bel and partie cote with eiris,
He feinȝeit him ane fule fond in his feiris.
French, Dutche and Italie ȝit als,
Weil could he speik and Latine feinȝe fals.
Vnto the kirk he came befoir the king,
With club and cote and monie bel to ring.
Dieu gard sir king, I did nocht hald in hiddil,
I am to ȝow als sibas seif is to ane riddil,
Betwi [...]t vs twa mot be als mekil grace,
As frost and snaw fra Zule is vnto Pace.
Watt ȝee how the Frenche man sayis syne,
Nul bon he sayis monsieur sans pyne.
With that he gaue ane loud lauchter on loft,
Honour and eis, sir quha may haue for nocht.
Cum on thy way sir king, now for Sanct Iame,
Thow with me, or I with the gang hame.
Now be sant Katherine quod the king and smyld,
This fule hes monie wauer and word and wyld,
Cum hame with mee thow sal haue drink ynouch.
Grand mercy quod the fuill agane and leuch.
Now quod the king fra al dulnes and dule,
Wee may vs keip, quhil that wee haue this fuil,
He feinȝeit him a fuil in deid and word,
The wyser man the better can he bourd.
Quhil at the last this fuil was callit alway,
Fuil of fuiles, and that ilk man wald say.
[Page] Thus was this fuil ay stil with the King,
Quhil he had weil considderit in al thing.
The conditions, vse, maner and the gyse,
And coppyie weil the king on his best wyse:
Sa fel it on a day this nobil king,
Vnto ane Cietie raid for his sporting,
This fuil persauit weil the King wald pas,
Vnto ane vther Cietie as it was:
He tuke his club aud ane bable in his hand,
For to preuene the tyme he was gangand.
Sa be the way ane woundit man faude he,
And with this fuil war runners twa or thrie,
Sum of the Court and sum of the kitchene,
And saw ane man but Leiche or Medycene.
Sa sair woundit micht nouther ga nor steir,
At him this fuil can al the caus speir:
He answered and said reuer and theif,
Thou hes me hurt and brocht me in mischeif.
With that his wounds war fillit ful of fleis,
As euer in byke thair biggit onie beis:
Than ane of them that had pitie can pray [...] ▪
That he mot skar thay felloun fleis away.
Than spak the fuil and said lat them be now man▪
For thay ar ful the hunger wil cum than:
For thir dois nocht bot sits as thou may se,
For thay ar als ful as thay may be.
Be thir away it is euil and na gude,
The hungrie fleis wil cum and souk his blude:
The ofter that thir fleis away be chaist,
The new fleis wil mair of his blude waist.
And draw his blude and souk him syne sa sair,
Thairfoir lat them allane, skar them na wair:
The sair man him beheld and [...]im he demes,
And said he was not sik a fuil as he semes.
Sone after that ane lytil came the King,
With monie man can gladelie sport and sing.
Ane cow of birks into his hand had he,
To keip than weil his face fra midge and fle.
For than war monie fleand vp and doun,
[Page] Throw kynd of ȝeir and hait of that Regioun▪
Sa lukit he ane lytill by the way,
He saw the woundit man quhair that he lay:
And to him came he rydand and can fraine,
Qu [...]at ailit him to ly and fairly graine
The man answered I haue sik sturt,
For baith with theif and reuer I am hurt
And ȝit suppois I haue all the pyne,
The falt is ȝowris sir King and nathing myne.
For and with ȝow gude counsal war ay cheif
Than wald ȝe stanche weill baith reuer and theif,
Haue thow with the that can weil dance and [...]ng
Thow taks nocht thocht yi realme weip & wrīg
With that the King the bob of birks can waue,
The fleis away out of his woundis to haue:
And than began the woundit man to grane,
Do nocht sa sir allace I am slane.
How sayis thow, thow tel me quod the King,
Quhy thow sayis sa I ferly of this thing:
And sa said al his men that stude about,
Thow wald be haill and thay war chasit out
The sair can say be him that can vs saue
Your fule sir King hes mair wit than ȝe haue.
And weil I ken be his phis [...]omie,
He hes mair wit nor al ȝour cumpanie.
My tung is sweir my bodie hes na strenth,
Frane at ȝour fule he can tel ȝow at lenth:
I am but deid and I may speik na mair,
Adew sir, for I haue said weil mot ȝe fair.
Fra this sair man now cummin is the King,
Hauand in mynd greit murmure and mouing:
And in his hart greit hauines and thocht,
Sa wantonly in vane al thing he wrocht.
And how the Cuntrie throw him was misfarne,
Throw ȝong counsel and wrocht ay as abarne.
And ȝit as he was droupand thus in dule,
Of all and al he fer lett of his fule.
Quhat kynde of man this fuil with him sould be,
And quhat this sair man be this fuil micht se.
[Page] And quhat it is the caus quhairfoir and quhy,
He was wyser than all his cumpany.
Quhan cummin was the king to that Citie,
Full fast than for his fule frainit he.
And quhan the king was set doun to his meit
Vnto his fuill gart mak ane semely seit:
Ane Rowndell with ane cleine claith had he,
Neir quhair the king micht him baith heir and se [...]
Than quod the king a lytill wie and leuch,
Sir fuill ȝe ar lordly set aneuch:
Quhan ȝe ar ful quhat call thay ȝow and how,
Sa hamely as ȝe ar with me now.
Sir to my Name thay call me fule Fictus,
Befoir ȝow as ȝe may se me sit thus:
And of this Cuntrie certes am I borne,
With luck and grace and Fortoun me beforne:
Schir fuill tell me gif that ȝe saw this day,
Ane woundit manly granand by the way.
Ze sir forsuith sik ane man couth I sie,
And in his wound was monie felloun flie:
Now quod the king sir fuill to me ȝe say.
Quhy skarrit ȝe not thay flies all away:
Thocht ȝe it was ane deid of charitie,
In seik mans wound for to leif ane flie,
Sir trow me weill full suith it is I say,
Better was stil thay fleis than skarrit away.
For gif sa be the fleis away ȝe skar,
Than efter them cums hungriar be far.
Thairfoir war better let them be but dout,
For the full fleis hal [...]s the hungrie out.
The hungry flie that neuer had bene tahir,
Scho souks the mans wound sa wonder sair:
And quhen the fleis ar ful than byde thay stil,
And stops the hungrie beis to cum thairtil.
Bot sir allace me think sa do not ȝe,
Ze ar sa licht and ful of vanitie,
And sa weil [...]ufis al new things to persew,
That ilk sessioun ȝe get ane seruant new.
Quhat wil the ane now say vnto the vther,
[Page] Now steir thy hand myne awin deir brother:
Win fast be tyme and be nocht lidder,
For wit thou weil Hal binks ar ay slidder.
Thairfoir now quhither wrang it be or richt,
Now gadder fast quhil we haue tyme and micht.
Se na man now to the King e [...]rand speik,
Bot gif wee get ane bud or ellis we sal it breik.
And quhan thay ar full of sic wrang win,
Thay get thair leif and hungryar cums in:
Sa sharp ar thay and narrowlie can gadder,
Thay pluck the puir as thay war powand Hadder.
And taks buds fra men baith neir and far,
And ay the last ar than the first far war:
Iustice, Crounar sariand and justice clark,
Remoues the auld and new men ay thay mark.
Thus fla thay all the puir men belly flaucht,
And fra the puir taks many felloun fraucht:
And steirs them and wait the tyde wil gang,
Syne efter that far hungrier cums than.
And thusgait ay the puir folk ar at vnder,
This World to sink for sin quhat is it wonder?
Thairfoir now be this exampil wee may se,
That ane new seruant is lyke ane hungrie fle.
Than quod the King quhat say ȝe to ou [...] fule,
Suppois that he had bene ane Clath at scule.
To God now quod the King I mak ane [...]ow,
Ze ar not sik ane fule as ȝe let ȝow:
Thus wonderit al the King that sat about,
And of this fule had f [...]rly dreid and dout.
Thoche he was fule in Habite in al feiris,
Ane wyser sperk thay hard neuer with thair [...].
Thus ferlyit al thair was baith he and he,
Quhat maner of ane thing micht this be.
And lyke to ane was nocht into Rome,
Zit than his word was ful of al wisdome.
For he as fule began guckit and gond,
And ay the wyser man ne [...]rar the end:
And thus the [...]ing and al his cumpany,
[Page] Vpon this fuil had wonder and ferly.

Of the slaying of the man.

SYNE efter this ane Gentelman percace,
Had slane ane man al throw his raklesnes:
And to the Court he come and tald this thing,
Vnto ane man was inward with the King.
And said sir lo, I am in the Kings grace,
That hes ane man slane in my fault a [...]lace.
And wil ȝe gar the King to that consent,
For it I sal ȝow pay and concent.
This Coueteour held on this to the king,
And tald him al this tail to the ending.
And than the king for his lufe and instance,
Bad bring the man that happened that mischance
Vnto the king his tail quhen he had tald,
Ful sharplie to this man he could behald,
Ane semely man of mak sa semit he,
To s [...]ay that man he thocht ane greit pitie:
And bad him passe quhair he lykit to ga,
And be gude man and efter slay na ma.
Sone efter that within half a ȝeir,
Ane vther man he slew withouttin weir.

Of the second slayne man.

THAN to the Court he cummin is agane,
Vnto this man befoir his gold had tane:
And said sir I haue s [...]aue allace,
Ane vther man throw misfortune and cace:
And wald ȝe help me befoir as ȝe haue done,
Ane sowme of siluer ȝe sould haue ful sone.
Another sowme I sall giue to the king,
Me hartlie to forgiue into this thing.
Help me now for Gods awin deid,
Nane vther buit at ȝow bot I get remeid.
This Courteour him answered thus agane,
This deid to do I am vncertane.
Quhen that thow slew bot ane throw racklesnes,
Of that thow micht haue gotten forgiuenes,
Sa may it nocht quhen thow hes slane thus twa,
Notwithstanding I wil for the ga.
[Page] The for to help I sal get sik assay,
And for the do alsmekil as I may.
Vnto the king than come this Courteour,
And lukit weil baith to his tyme and hour.
He lukit quhan the King was blyth and glad,
And nocht quhen he was heauie nor sad▪
Ful lawlie sat h [...] doun vpon his kne,
Lo sir he said, ane thing of greit pitie:
The man that ȝe forgaue syne halfe ane ȝeir,
Another man now hes he slane but weir.
Ane certane sowme of gold thus sal ȝe get,
And ȝe wald all ȝour crabitnes forȝet.
He wepes and he sichs now sa sair,
That he sik misse will efter do na mair.
In all ȝour Realme thair is na wichter man,
Greit pitie is it for t [...] tyne him than.
Ze may him haue and of his gold and geir.
He will stand ȝow in steid in tyme of weir,
Suppois he hes slane twa better it is that ȝe,
Haue twa men slane than thus for to sla thrie.
Thairfoir heir I beseik ȝow in this cace,
That ȝe wald tak him in ȝour gudelie grace.
The King bad than bring him to his presence,
And him forgaue all fault and offence.
And bad him ga and do sik misse na mair,
Thus tuke this man his leif and hame can fair.
Syne efterward this man that wee off reid,
The thrid man hes he slane ȝic in deid.

Of the thride slayne man.

THAN to the Court agane maid his repair,
Sik grace to get agane as he did air:
Sa come hee to the Courteour to tell,
His fortoun and his cace how it befell.
This courteour to speik wald not spair,
For ȝow forsuith sir dar I speik na mair.
Sa oft and oft ȝe haue done sik mischeif,
I dar not speikit to king for greif,
Now be my saul and sa not I do weill,
Is na remeid als far as I can feill.
[Page] Or quhither that ȝe sal liue the Land allace,
Or put ȝow ȝit into the Kings grace.
This Courteour agane vnto the King,
Now cummin is and tald hail this thing:
And how the man befoir the twa had slane,
The thrid man thus hes he slane agane.
With that the King quhen that he hard the taill,
In grit greif than wox he wan and pail.
And sweith he said bring him now heir to me,
Sal neyther gold nor gude let him to die.
Get he my pitie than God put me out of mynde,
And he wald gif me all the Golden Inde:
Syne gait he bring to him the samyn man,
Set dotin to Iudge to Heid or to Hang.
This man that was sa cumbred of this cace,
On kneis fel and askit the Kings grace [...]
The King plainly all grace can him deny,
And tald to him the caus and ressoun quhy.
With that vpon ane lytil bony stule,
Sat Fictus that was the Kings fule.
And said now and ȝe gar not Heid or Hang,
This man for them that he slew it war wrang.
The first man weil I grant he slew,
The vther twa in faith them slew ȝow.
Had tho [...] him puneist quhan he slew the first,
The vther twa had bene leuand I wist.
Thairfoir allace this tail sir is ouer trew,
For in gude faith the last twa men ȝe slew.

Blessit ar thay that keips Iudgement and Iustice, &c.

THE Psalmes sayis Dauid wa [...] and wyse,
Blist mot thay be that keips Law and Iustice.
Thairfoir I wald that ȝe sould not presume,
Na to haue count vpon the day of Dome.
For mans body thair to giue ane ȝeild,
Quhome to ȝe sould be sickar Speir and sheild▪
Of all the Realme quhom off ȝe beir the Cronn,
Of lawit and leirit, riche pure, vp and doun.
The quhilk and thay be slane with mans hand,
Ane count thairof ȝe sall gif I warrand.
[Page] Lesse than it be throw sum grit negligence,
Quhairin his mercy or in his defence:
And on the day of Dome be Sance Paull,
The Bishops mon ay answer for the Saull.
Gif it be lost for fault of Preist or preiching,
Of the richt treuth it haif na chesing.
In sa far as the Saull is for thy,
Far worthier is than the blait body:
Many Bishops in ilk Realme wee se,
And bot ane King into ane Realme to be.
Thus hes the Saull mair wark and cure,
Than the body that is of na valure.
Be this was said the King sayis wa is mee,
For I am fule of fules weill I see,
I se weill I haue lytil part of scule,
That thus sould be informit with ane fule.
I se weil be this taill this fule can tel,
That I had greitly neid of wyse counsell.
To send for all my Lords I consent,
I desyre this to be in Parliament.
And it be trew my fule hes said me heir,
I sal weil rewaird him withouttin weir:
And be it fals and ful of fantasy,
Ane fule he is and fule him hald sal I.
And throw this fule this man-slayer did get,
Vnto the Parliament perfyte respet:
And efter quhan thir Lords al can cum,
Vnto this Parliament baith al and sum:
Be al the thrie Estaits it was found,
Considderand al the mater crop and ground,
This Fictus that was callit the fule,
Was wyse in word th [...]cht he was Clark inscule,
The King bad al the thrie Estaits that thay,
Sould sit doun al and sie a ganand way:
Quhat man in hous war meit with him to dwell,
Of wisdome for to gif him counsel:
And for to mak be his Estaits thrie,
Into this Realme concordant vnitie.
And quhen that al this deid was dewlie done,
[Page] The King sweit be his Sceptour and his Croun▪
That he sould neuer gif mercie to nane,
That slauchter in his Realme committit than.
Aganis his will bot throw his negligence,
Or ellis that it be fund in his defence.
And lik ane rew [...]l maid he into his Land,
That luck and grace in it was ay growand.
And than this nobill King all lichtnes left,
All bot ane thing that was not fra him reft:
The quhilk for ill toungs lang had bene,
Ane stit strangnes betwixt him and his Queene.
He beddit nocht richt oft nor lay hir by,
Bot throw lichtnes did lig in Lamenry.
SA happenit throw cace into the Toun,
Vnto ane Burges Iuins he maid him boun,
Ane lytill wie befoir the feist of Zule,
In cumpanie bot fyue sum and his fule,
This Burges had ane dochter to him deir,
Ane bonie wenche sho was withouttin weir.
The King on hir he casts his lustie Eine,
And with hit faine wald in ane bed haif bene:
Hee wist full weill that nane had hee,
That was sa subtill as Fictus was and flee.
Hee callit him and priuilie can say,
Sik fantesie hes put me in effray:
I am sa ful of lust and fantesy,
With this Modyn on benk that sits me by▪
For gold, for gude, for wage or ȝit for wed,
This nicht I wald haue hir to my bed.
Than quod the fuill I vnderstand ȝow weill,
I tak on hand to do it euerie deill.
Sit still now sir wil ȝe let me allane,
Be mee this eirand sall be vndertaue.
Sone efter quhan thay war at sport and play,
The fule came to this bonie pre [...]tie may,
And said Madyn wist ȝe of the degrie,
How plesant it is to God virginitie:
Tak exampill S. Margaret and Katrine,
And mo [...]e vther Sa [...]ts that ar sine:
[Page] In Heuins blesse that hes sik joy and grie▪
With Croun on heid for thair Virginitie.
I wait for all the gold into this toun,
Of Madynheid ȝe wald not tyne the Croun.
Bot ay the king wont he had besie bene,
Of the mater that was thir twa betwene,
And to the Virgine ȝong thus spak the king,
Quhat my fule sayis I trow be na lesing:
Sir quod sho his saw was suffisand,
And as he sayis I sall do God willand.
Be that the kings Stewart cummin is,
To haue the king to his supper I wis.
The king said to his fule in priuetie,
Of the eirand Fictus how sal it be.
Now hard ȝe not hirself consent thairto,
That as I said to ȝow sho hecht to do.
Bot ane thing haue I hecht sickerly,
That nane sal cum about hir sir bot I:
The Virgine is bot ȝong and thinks shame,
And is full laith to cum in ane ill name:
And quhan the kings supper was at end,
Fictus the fule vnto the Queene can wend.
And to hir said do my counsel Madame,
To ȝow it sall be nouther sin nor shame:
A Burges dochter to hir Father deir,
This nicht the king thinks to haue but weir:
And tald hir all the cace and maner how,
Hir for to haue he gart the King weil trow.
Bot that be God that with his blude vs bo [...]ht,
With hir to gar him sin was neuer my thocht:
The King commands to his cheif Chalmerlane,
Quhan euer I cum with hir I be in tane.
And in his bed sal priuely in creip.
Quhil that the king sal cum thair and sleip.
And priuely thus be the day agane,
Away with me the Madyn sal be tane.
Thairfoir Madame for God be not agast,
About ȝour heid ȝour cloke clenlie cast:
Quhairfoir sould ȝe dout or be a dred,
[Page] Is nane bot ȝe sould bruik the Kings bed:
The warst may fall suppose it wittin war,
Me thocht he hang ȝow wil he neuer skar.
And thus is my counsel Madame ȝe do,
In faith quod sho and I consent thairto:
All thus and thus befoir as ȝe haue hard,
The Queene is brocht vnto the kings bed.
The quhilk all nicht in vthers armes lay,
Quhat man to tel of al thair sport and play:
The king thocht neuer nicht to him sa short,
Sa lykit he that nichts play and sport.
And on the morne a lytil befoir day,
The Fule come in and tuke the Quene away.
And thus and thus efter nichts thrie,
With his awin Queene grit gaming had & glie
And weil he wend that it had bene but weir,
That with him lay the Burges dochter deir.
Quhome throw he had sik joy and sik plesance,
Quhilk maid him ay the Fule for to auance:
Sa was the King sa amorat of his Fule,
Besyde himself ay sat vpon a stule.
Was neuer ȝit mair joy and plesance sene,
Than the king hes in bed with his awin Queene:
And that was na grit ferly to befal,
For sho was fair and gude and ȝong with al.
And thus the Fule quhen he persauing had.
How that the king sa joyful was and glade:
Vnto the king he came in priuitie,
And said now sir ane thing that ȝe tel me▪
Quhair foir it is the cace fane wit wald I,
Qu [...]y that ȝe haue in ȝow sik fantasy:
To ly with wemen and of law degrie▪
Aganis ȝour Quens wil and Majestie.
Considder and weil that sho is fair and gude,
With ilkane vther bewtie to conclude.
Or quhy at hir ȝe haue al this dispyte,
And quhy ȝe find in vthers sik delyte.
Or quhat plesance ȝe had thir nichts thrie,
With ȝour awin Queene in bed than mair to be.
[Page] The King answered and said now sikarly,
I can not tel the ressoun caus nor quhy:
Ficcus my fule with the na mair to flyte,
Bot wantonly ay followes my appetyte.
And quhan that my delyte is vpon vther,
Thau mony folk wil cum and with me fludder.
And sum wil tel il [...]ailes of the Queene,
The quhilk be hir war neuer hard nor sene.
And that I do thay say al weil is done,
Thus fals clutterars puts me out of tone.
And thus becaus I am licht of feirs,
And heirs euil tailes and lichtly lendis my eiris,
And thus of hir I haue na appetyte,
And of al others ay haue I grit delyte.
Sir quod the fule wil ȝe not consent,
Thir thrie nichts that ȝe war weil content:
Ze that I grant be God that is of micht,
Had neuer nane mair plesance on the nicht.
God quod the King sen my fortoun had bene,
Sen sho I had thir nichts thrie war Queene.
Quhat wil ȝe gif me, than speiks the fule,
Suppose I be na cunning Clark in scule:
Within thrie dayes to mak it well sene,
With Gods Law for to mak hir ȝour Queene.
And thairto do sal na man say agane,
And do I not my heid sal be the pane.
Than quod the king thairto I hald my hand,
Thow sal haue gude gold, Lordships and Land.
Or cast fra the thy cote and be tho [...] wyse,
Ane Bishoprik sal be thy benefyse.
Than quod the fule without feinȝeing or fabil,
Hald vp ȝour hand to hald this firme and stabil:
The King thairto swore oft and oft,
And thair he hes his hand haldin on loft:
And now quod the fule it fallis to na King,
To brek his vow or ȝit his oblissing:
And it that I haue hecht thus sone sal be,
Scho is ȝour Queene ȝe had thir nichts thrie:
That quod the king be him that deid on Rude,
[Page] Sir fule I trow ȝe may not mak that gude.
Sir I pray ȝow be not euill payit nor wraith.
Efter sa strait ane oblessing and aith▪
And gir that she plesit ȝow thir nichts thrie,
Fra hyneforth now quhairfoir may not sa be.
Richt now ȝe wald haue had hir to ȝour wyfe,
And thair in now with me ȝe mak ane stryfe.
Quhat quod the king be him that was borne in Zule
Thou art ane auld scoller at the scule.
I farly quhair sik Soph [...]e thou hes fund,
That with my awin band thou hes me bund.
Notwithstanding I am hartly content,
To my awin Queene I wil hartly consent:
And mair attour I sweir the be the Heuin,
I sal hir neuer displeis for od nor euin.
With thy that she may preif that it was sho,
Thir nichts thrie with quhom I had ado:
And with that word forouttin mair carping,
Vnto the Queenes Chalmer come the King.
And simply to hir presence can persew,
And tempit hir with takens gude and trewe
And sickarly he fand that it was sho,
With quhome thay nichts thrie he had ado.
Than joyful was he in his harts splene,
Of the plesance he had with his awin Queene:
Than on his kneis he askit forgiuenes,
For his licht laytes and his wantones.
And sho forgaue him meiklie this ful [...]yte,
That he had done throw lichtnes of dely [...]e:
For weil sho saw that al was fantesy.
That he vsit and richt grit foly.
And thus the King and Queene into this cace,
Thankit thair God for thair weilfair and grace,
And syne this fule thay thankit of al,
That caused sik concord amang them [...]al.
And off his coate thay [...]irli [...] be the croun,
And on him kest ane syde clarkly goun:
And quhen this syde goun on him micht be,
Ane cunning Clark and wyse than semit he.
[Page] Syne efter sone ane Bishop thair was deid,
Ful sone was he maid Bishop in his steid:
And to the King and Quene he was full leif,
And of thair inwart counsell ay maist cheif.
And God sen si [...] e [...]amples ay wer sene,
To ilk ane King that luifit nocht his Quene.
God gif vs grace and space an eird to spend,
Thus of my tailnow cummin is the end.
And than spak all the fallowship thus syne,
God quyte ȝow sir ȝour tail and saut Martyne.
Sir Williame than sayis now fallis me▪
To tel ane tail thocht I be of ȝow thrie:
The febillest and leist of literature,
Zit than with all my deligence and cure:
To tell ane tail now sik ane as I haue,
Of me, me think ȝe sould na vther craue.

The thrid taill tald be Maister Williame.

A King thair is and euer mair will be,
Thairfoir the KING of kings him cal we
Thus he had a man as he hes mony,
Into this Land als riche as vther ony,
This man that we of speik had freinds thrie,
And lufit them nocht in ane degrie.
The first freind quhil he was laid in delf,
He lufit ay far better than him self.
The nixt freind than alsweil luifit he,
As he him self luifit in al degrie.
The thrid freind he luifit this and swa,
In na degrie like to the tother twa.
Suppois he was ane freind to him in name,
To him as freind ȝit wald he neuer clame.
The tother twa his freindis war indeid,
As he thocht quhen that he had ony neid.
Sa fell it on ane day sone efter than,
This he did send about this rich man.
And sent to him his Officer but weir,
Thus but delay befoir him to compeir.
And with him count and giue reckning of all,
[Page] He had of him al tyme baith grit and smal,
With that this Officer past on gude speid,
And summond this riche man be of reid:
And al the cace to him he can record,
That he in haist sould cum to his awin Lord.
This riche man he he had hard this tail,
Ful sad in mynd he wo [...] baith wan and pail:
And to him self he said sichand ful sair,
Allace how now this i [...] ane haisty fai [...]:
And I cum thair my tast it wil be taggit,
For I am red that my count be ouir raggit.
Quhat sal I do now may I say allace▪
A cumbred man I am into this cace.
I haue na vther help nor ȝit supplie,
Bot I wil pas to my freinds thrie:
Twa of them I luifit ay sa weil,
But ony fault thair freindship wil I feil.
The thrid freind I leit lichtly of ay,
Quhat may he do to me bot say me nay.
Now wil I pas to them and preif them now,
And tel them al the caus and maner how.

To the first freind.

THVS came he to his freind that he,
Lufit better than him self in al degrie:
And said lo freind my hart thow euer had,
And now allace I am ful straitly stad:
To me the king his Officer hes send,
For he wil that my count to him be kend:
And I am laith allane to him to ga,
Without with me ane freind be ane or twa.
Thairfoir I pray ȝow that ȝe tel me now to▪
In this mater quhat is the best ado.
And thus answered this freind agane that he,
Ouer al this warld lufit as A per C.
The Deuil of Hell he said now mot me hing,
And I compeir befoir that crabit King.
He is sa ful of justice, richt and ressoun,
I lufe him not in ocht that wil me chessoun.
He lufis not na riches be the Rude,
[Page] Nor hilynes in hart, nor euil won gude.
Than euil won gude to gar men gif agane,
Thair may be na war vse now in ane:
Agane him can I get na gude defence,
Sa just he is and stark in his conscience.
And al things in this warld tha [...] I call richt,
It is nocht worth ane [...]g into his sicht.
And it that is my lyking [...] eis,
To him alway will neither play nor pleis:
And that to me is baith ioy and gloir,
As fantasys iudgit him hefoir,
And thus he is aganis me ay and euer,
And weill I wait thairfoir he lufit me neuer,
He hes na lyking lufe nor lust of me.
Na I to him quhill the day I die.
Quhairto thairof sould I make ony mair,
I cum nocht to the King I the declair:
Fra tyme that thow art vnder now a reist,
Of the in faith I haue but lytle feist.
Be me I trow thow art but lytill meind,
[...]as on thy way and seik another freind:
Now is this man sair murnand in his mynde,
Sayand allace my freind is ouer vnkynde.
Quhome I wend was support and supplie,
And now allcae the contrair now I sie:
Away [...]e wend sayand in wordis wylde,
I grant be God that I am all begylde.

The second freind.

VNTO this tother freind cummin is this man,
That as him selfe befoir he lufit than:
And said lo freind the King hes send for me
His officer and biddis that I be:
At him in haist and cum sone to his call,
And to him mak my count of grit and small.
That I of him in all my dayis had,
And I sie richt I am sa straitly stad:
Now as my freind I hidder come to the,
Quhome as my selfe I lufe in all degre.
For quhan I am in stryfe or ȝit in sturt,
[Page] Into my hart me think thow sould be hurt.
Thairfoir I pray that thow wald vnderta,
With me vnto ȝon King that thow wald ga.
This freind answered and said to him agane,
I am displeisit and ill payit of thy pane:
Bot I am nocht redie in onie thing,
With the for to compeir befoir that king.
Thocht he hes send for the his Officer,
I may not ga with the quhat wil thow mair,
Sa with the I bid nocht for to lane,
I am ful red that I cum neuer aganc.
Quha sal me mend and of my bail me beit,
To tak the sower and for to leif the sweit.
Quhat I haue heir daylie in faith I feill,
And thair quhat I sall haue I wait not weil.
Thairfoir this tail is trew into al tyde,
Quhair ane fair is weil the langer sould he byde.
Thairfoir me thin [...] that I sould be to sweir,
Befoir ȝon king with ȝow for to appeir.
Bot a thing is to say in termes short,
With ȝow my freind I wil ga to the port.
Trust weil of me na mair of myne ȝe get,
Fra ȝe be anis in at the kings ȝet.
And thus shortly withȝow for to conclude,
Mair nor is said of me ȝe get na gude.
With that the man that thus charged his freind,
He said allace I may na langer leind.
Sen I my twa best freinds couth assay,
I can nocht get a freind ȝit to my pay
That dar now tak in hand for onie thing.
With me for to compeir befoir ȝon king.
Quhasaeuer may Vennome or Poysoun taist,
That be the hands in quhom thair traist is maist▪
Me to begyle quha hes mair craft and gin,
Than thay in quhome my traist ay maist is in.
Quhat ferly now with nane thocht I be meind,
Sen thus falsly now failȝeis me my freind:
Now weil I se and that I vnderta,
Than feinȝeit freind better is open fa.
[Page] Als suith it is as ships saillis ouer watters,
And weil I wait al is not gold that glitters.
Now is ouer lait to preif my freind in deid,
Quhan that I haue sik mister and sik neid.
Better had bene be tyme I had ouer tane,
To preif my freind quhen mister had I nane.
Allace quhat sal I say, quhat sal I do,
I haue na ma freinds for to cum to:
Bot ane the quhilk is callit my thrid freind,
With him I trow I w [...]l be lytil meind:
To ga to him I wait bot wind in waist,
For in him I haue lytil trouth or traist.
Becaus to him I was sa oft vnkynde,
And as my freind he was not in my mynde:
Bot helely and lichtlie of him leit,
And now to him thus mon I ga and gr [...]it.
How sould I murne or mak my mane him to,
Befoir with him I had sa lytil ado.
Suppois to me he was ane freind in name,
Zit than as freind to him wald I neuer clame,
Of him I had ful lytil joy or feist,
Of al my freinds in faith I lufit him leist,
Quhat may he do to me bot say me nay,
Thairfoir I wil ga heir quhat he wil say.
Quhat ferly is I be not with him meind,
I held him nocht bot for a quarter freind.

To the thrid freind.

NOW cummin is the man that we of reid,
Vnto this thrid freind quhen he had neid:
And tald him the maner and the cace,
How on him laid ane Officer his mace:
And summond him and [...]ad he sould compeir,
Befoir the King and gif ane count perqueir.
And to him mak ane sharp count of al,
He had into his lyfe haith grit and smal.
And thus answered his freind to him agane,
Of the in faith gude freind I am ful fane,
Of me altyme thow gaue bot lytil tail,
Na of me wald haue [...]ant nor dail.
[Page] And thow [...]ad to me d [...]e onie thing.
Nocht was with hart bot vane gloir [...].
With vther freinds thou was sa weill [...],
To me thow had ful lytil clame or co [...]n [...].
To the thow thocht I was not worth ane prene,
And that I am ful ra [...]e on the besene.
And ȝit the lytil kyndnes that thow,
To me hes had weil sal I quyte it now.
For with the sal I ga vnto the King,
And for the speik and pl [...]e intil al thing:
Quhair [...] ga with me thow sal be meind▪
And euer [...] for my tender freind,
The King [...]e luf [...]s me ful weil I wait,
Bot euer allace to me thow come ouer [...]ait [...]
And thow my counsal wrocht had in al thing,
Ful welcum had thou b [...]ne ay to that King.
Betwixt vs twa wit he of vnkyndnes,
Sone wil thou fe [...]l he wil the lufe the les.
Wit he betwixt [...] onie lufe,
He wil be richt weil payit and the apprufe.
And he to me [...] ony falt,
To the that wil be ful sowre and salt.
And than weil sal thou find as thou lufit m [...] ▪
In al maner of way sa sal he the:
Quhat is thair mair of this mater to mein [...] ▪
With the befoir the [...]ing I sal be sent▪
Quhair euer thou ga withouttin ony blame▪
As tender freind to the I sa lay clame.
Without offence to be thy defend [...]r,
And ay trewly to be thy protectour:
Befoir quhat [...]udge thou appeir vp or doun,
The to defend I sal be reddie boun.
And quhither I cum agane heir euer or neu [...] ▪
Fra the thus sal I neuer mair disseuer.
Thocht he the bind and ca [...] the in a Cart,
To heid or hang fra the I sal nocht part.
Quhat will thou mair that I may say [...].
I am reddie cum on quhan euer thou wil.
Allace allace than sayis this richt man▪
[...]
[...]
[...]

MERY TAILES.

ANe cunning Painter thai [...] was dwelling in London, quhilk had a fair ȝoung wyfe, and for things he had to do went ouer the Sea, bot be­cause he was sumquhat [...]elou [...] he prayed his wyfe to be con­ [...]ent that he micht paint ane lambe vpon hir belly, and prayed hir that it micht remaine thair til he come hame againe, quhairwith sho was content. After quhilk lambe sa painted, he departed, and sone efter that ane lustie ȝoung Merchant, a Bacheler came and s [...]ted his wyfe and obtayned hir fauour, so that sho was content that he sould lye with hir, quha resort­ed to hir, and had his pleasour often tymis And on a tyme he tuke a Pensel, and to the [...]ambe he painted twa hornes, wening to the wyfe that he had bot re­freshed the auld painting Bot at the last about a ȝeir after hir husband came hame againe, & the first nicht he lay with his wyfe he luked vpon his [...]ues belly and saw the twa horne [...] painted thair, hee said to his wyf that some other body had bene beside thair, and maid a new painting, for the picture that he painted had na hornes, & this hath hornes. To quhom his wyfe shortly answered and said: ȝea sir, remember that it is a ȝeir past and mair sen ȝe went, and thocht it war bot a lambe quhen ȝe went, now perdie, it [Page] must neids be a sheip and haue hornes by the course of nature, and thairfoir ȝe must be con­tent. This man heiring his wyfis resonabill answer, held him content, & asked no moir▪

¶Of him that played, &c.

IT fortunit that in a market Toun in the county of Suffolk their was a stage play, in the quhi [...]k play one called Iohne Adroynes, quhisk dwelled in another village two myles frō th [...]nce played the deuil. And quhen the play was done, this Iohn Adroynes in the euening departit from the said market Toun, to go hame to his awin hous. And becaus he h [...]d thair no change of clothing, he went forth in his Deuils apparell, quhilk in that way comming hame ward, he came throwe a warren of co [...]es belanging to a gentilman of the village, quhair he himself dwelt. At quhilk tyme it fortuned ane Preist a Vicar of a Kirk there­by with two or thrie vnthriftie fellowes, had brocht with them a hors a hey and a Ferit, to the intent thair to get co­nyes. And quhen the ferit was in the eirth & the hey set ouer the path way quhair this Iohn Adroines sould cum, this preist and his other fellowis saw him him come in the Deuils ray­ment considdering that they wer in the deuils seruice and steiling of conies, & supposing it had bene the deuil in deid, sor feir thay ran all away. This Iohne Adroynes in the deuils rayment becaus it was sūquhat [Page] dark saw not the hey bot went forth in haist & stumblit thair at, and fell doun, that with the fall he had almoist brocken his neck Bot quhen he was a littill reuiued, he luked and spied it was a hey to catch conies, and luked forther and saw yat they ran away for fei [...] of him, and saw a hors tyed to a bush laden with conyes quhilk thay had taken, and he tuke the hors and the hay and leipt vpon the hors & rode to the gentilmans place that was Lord of the Warren, to the intent to haue thanks for taking such a praye. And quhen he come thether, hee knockit at the ȝet and anon an of the gentilmans seruants ask­ed quha wes thair, and sodenlie opened the ȝet, and as sone as he perceued him in the deuils rayment, he was sodinly abash­ed, and barred the dore againe, and went vnto his Maister, and said and swore vnto his Maister, that the deuil was at the ȝet and would cum in. The Gentilman heiring him tell so, called another of his seruants, and bade him go to the ȝet to knowe quho was thair. This second seruant come to the ȝet, and durst not open it, bot asked with a loud voyce quho was thair. This Iohne Adroynes in the deuils apparell answered with a [...] voyce and said, tel thy Maister I must neids speik with him or I go. The seruant heiring that answeir supposing it had bene the deuil went in againe to his maister and said thus: it is the [Page] deuil in deid that is at the ȝet, and sayeth he must neids speik with ȝow or he go hence. The gentilman than began a lytill to abash, and called the stewart of hsi hous quhilk was the wysest seruant that hee had, and bad him ga to the ȝet and bring him sui [...] word quha was thair. This stewart, becaus he thocht he wald see suirlie quha was thair came to the ȝet and lukit throuch the chaines of the ȝet in diuers places, and saw weill it was a deuil sitting vpon ane horsse, and saw vpon the sadel tor [...]is the cony heidis hing­ing dou [...]. Than he came to his maister affrayd in greit haist & said, sweiring, it is the deuil in deid that is at the ȝet sitting v­pon a horse laden al with saulis, and by lyklihode he is come for ȝour saull purpoislie and lacketh bot it, and gif he had it, I wene he wald be gone. The Gentilman heiring this, was meruelously afraide, and called his Chaplen, and maid the ha­ly candill to be lich [...], and gat halie water, and went to the ȝet with als manie seruants as durst ga with him, quhair the Chaplen with halie words of conjuratioun said: In the name of the Father and sone and the halie gaist, I conjure thee and charge the [...] in the halie name of God to tell mee quhy and quhairfoir thou cumest hither. This Iohne Adroynes in the deuils apparell heiring thame begin to conjure efter sik ma­ner, said: Nay nay be not afraid, for I am a gude Deuill, I am [Page] Iohne Adroyns ȝour nichbour, dwelling in this Toun, and he that played the deuil to day in the play. I haue brocht my maister a dozen or twa of his aw [...] co [...]yes that wer stol [...]e in his warren, and thair horse and thair hey and made thame for feir to run away. And q [...]hen yai hard him thus speik, by his voyce knew him weil meuch, and opened ye ȝ [...]t, and [...] him cum in. And sa al the foirsaid feir and dreid was turned to myrth and sport.

¶The sick man, &c.

THAIR was a ritch man quhilk lay [...]air sick in his bed like to die, quhair foir his eldest sone came to him and besechit him to giue him his blessing. To quhome the Father said, Son, thou sal haue Gods bles­sing and myne, and because thou hes bene euer gude of condicions. I giue and bequeth the al my Land. To quhome he answered and said: nay Father, I trust ȝe sall lyue and occupy them ȝour self be Gods grace. Sone efter that come his secōd son lykewayis, and desyred his blessing. To quhome the father said, because thou hast bene e­uer kynde and gentil, I giue ye Gods blessing and myne, and bequeth the all my moueabill gudes, to quhome he answer­ed and said, na Father, I trust ȝow sal liue and do weil and spend and vse ȝour gudes ȝour self by Gods grace. Anon efter that the thrid son came to him & desired his blising, to quhom the father answered and said, [Page] because thou hest bene euill & stubborne and wouldest neuer be ruled [...] counsel, I haue nei­ther lands nor gudes vnbeque­thed, bot only ane litill v [...]cand ground quhair a gallows stan­deth, quhilk now I giue & be­queth vnto thee, & gods cursse withall To quhom his son an­swered as his brethren did, and sa [...]de, nay father, I trust ȝe sall liue and be in gude health, and haue it and occupy it ȝour selfe by Gods grace. Bot efter the father dyed, and this thrid Son so continued stil in his vnthrif­tie condicions, quhairfoir it wes his fortoun efterwarde for his deseruing to be hanged on the same gallowes.

¶The scholer that bare his, &c. IN the Vniuersitie of Oxford thair was a scholer that delytit mekill to speik eloquent En­glish, and curious termes, and come to the Cobler with his shoes (quh [...]lk war pyked befoir as they [...]sed in that seloun) to haue them clouted, and said in this wyse, Cobler I pray the set me two traingles, and two se­micircles vpon my subpeditales & I sal giue the for thy labour. The Cobler becaus he vnder­stude him not half weil answered shortlie and said, Sir, ȝou [...] e­loquence passeth my intelli­gence, bot I promise ȝow gif ȝe medle with me, the clouting of ȝour shone wil cost ȝow sax­tene pennies.

¶A womans tong, &c.

A certaine artificer of London thair was quhilk was soir sick and could not weill disgest his [Page] [...] [Page] [...]

¶The husband man that, &c.

IT fortuned that a Freir [...]it in the euening desyred lodging of a puir man in the cunt [...]e, quhilk for lack of vther lodg­ing (glad to harbour the freir) lodged him in his awin bed, & being a sleip, the man and wyse come efter and lay in the same bed. In the morning ef [...]er the pouir man [...]ose, & went to [...] ke [...], leauing the friar in the bed wi [...]h his wyfe, and as hee went, he smyled and lauched to him­self, quhairfoir his nichtbours demanded of him quhy he so smyled. He answered [...], I lauch to think ho [...] [...] fast ye freir wil be quhen. [...].

¶The Preist that said, &c.

THE Archdeacon of Essex that had hene lang in authority in the time of visitation quhen all the Preists appeired befoir him, called asyde thrie of the ȝong Preists, quhilk wer accu­sed that thay culd not say thair diuine seruice [...], and asked of them quhen thay said masse, quhither ye [...] said corpus meus, or corpum meum. The first Preist said, that he said corpus meus [...] The second said that he said corpum meum. And quhē he asked of the thrid how hee saide, hee answered and saide thus. Sir becaus it is sa greit a dout, and diuers men be in dy­uers opinions, thairfoir becaus I would be sure, I would not offend, quhen I come to the place I leiue it cleine out, and say nothing thairof. Quhair­foir the Archdeacon openlie rebuked thē al thrie, bot dyuers [Page] that war present thocht more default in him becaus he him­self had admitted them to be Preists.

Of two freirs the one loued &c

Two Freirs sat at gentilmans table, quhilk had befoir him on a fishe day ane Ele, and cut the heid of the Ele and layd it v­pon ane of the Freirs trencher, bot the freir becaus he would haue had the midle part of the Ele, said to the Gentilman hee loued no Ele heids. This Gen­tilman also cut the tail and [...]aid it on the vther freirs trencher, he lykewayis becaus he would haue of [...] midle pairt of the Ele, [...] loued no Ele tails. the gentilman persauing that▪ gaue the taill to him that said he loued not the heid, & gaue the heid to him that said he lo­ued not the taill. And as for that midle pairt of the Ele he did ei [...] part himself, and part he gaue to vther folk at the table, quhairfoir those freirs for an­ger would eit neuer a morsell, and so thay for al thair craft & subtiltie wer not onlie deceued of the best morsell of the Ele, bot thairof had no part at al.

¶Of the four Elements.

In the auld Warld quhen all things could speik, the foure Elements met togidder for manie things quhilk they had to do, becaus thay must alwayis medle ane w [...]th another, and had communication of dyuers maters, and becaus thay could not conclude all thair maters at that sesoun, they appoynted to breik communicatioun for [Page] that tyme, and to meit againe another tyme, thairfoir ilk ane of them shawed to vther quhair thair maist abyding was, giue neid sould requyre. And first the Earthe said, Brethren ȝe knaw weil as for me I am per­manent alway, & not remoue­abill, thairfoir ȝe may be sure to haue mee alway quhen ȝe list. The Water said giue ȝe list to seik mee, vnder a too [...] of grene rashis, or els in a woman [...] eye. The Wind said, giue ȝe list to spelk with mee, ȝe sal be sure to haue mee [...] the Aspin leues, or els in a womans tong. Then quod the fyre, giue anie of ȝow list to seik mee, ȝe sal e­uer be sure to find me in a flint, or els in a womans hart.

¶A weddit man yat come, &c.

A certaine wedded man thair wes quhilk quhen he wes deid come to heuen ȝets to S. Peter, and said he came to claime his heritage quhilk he had deser­ued. S. Peter asked him quhat he wes, and he said a wedded man, anon S. Peter opened th [...] ȝets, and bade him cum in, and said hee wes worthie to haue his heritage, becaus he had bein much troubled, and was wor­thie a Crown of glorie. Anone oster that come another man cleaming heuin, and said to S. Peter that he had two wyues, to quhom S. Peter answered & said: cum in for thou art wor­thie of doubil crowne of glory, for thou hest had doubil trou­bil. At the last thair come the third cleming his heritage, and said to S. Peter that he had had [Page] thrie wyues, & desyred to cum in. Quhat quod S. Peter, thou hast bene once troublit, and thairof deliuered, and then wil­linglie wouldest be troublit a­gane, & ȝit agane thairof deliuered, and for all that could not beware the thrid tyme, bot en­trest willingly in troubil agane, thairfoir go thy way to Hel, for thow sal neuer cum in Heuin, for thou art not worthie.

¶Marchant that charged, &c.

A ritch Marchant of London thair wes that had a sone that was sumquhat vnthrifty, their­foir his father vpon his deith­bed called him to him and said, he knew weil that he had bene vnthriftie, how cit [...]f he knew he wold amend his conditions, he wold mak him his executor & leiue him his gudes, so that he wold prome [...]s him to pray for his saul, & to find ane dayly to sing for him. Quhilk thing to performe his son thair maid a faithful promise. After that this man maid him his execu­tour and died, bot efter that his son kepit sik riot that in short tyme he had wasted and spent al, and had nothing left bot a Hen and a Cock that was his Fathers. It fortuned then that an of his freinds came to him & said he was sorie that he had waisted so much, & asked him him how he would performe his promise maid to his Father that he would keip one to sing for him. This ȝong man answe­red and said. By my trouth I will ȝit performe my promise, for I wil keip yis same cok aliue [Page] stil, and he wil crow euery day, & so he sal sing euerie day for my fathers soule, & then I wil performe my promise weill yneuch.

¶Of the Gentelman that bare.

A Drapier being a Widower dwelling at Holburne Bridge in London had a fair Dochter, quhom a ȝong gentelman of Dauies In, wowed soir to haue his plesoure of her, quhilk by long sute maid to hir, at the last granted him, and pointed him to cum vpon a nich [...] to hir fa­thers hous in the euening, and sho would convoy him into a chamber secretlie, quhilk was ane inner chamber within hir fathers chamber. So according to the pointment all thing was performed so that he lay with hir al nicht til about four houres in the morning, at quhilk tyme it fortuned this Gentel­man fell a coching, quhilk come vpon him so sore, that he coulde not refraine. This wench then feiring hir Father that lay in the nixt chamber, bade him go put his heid in the draucht, leist that hir Father sould heir him, quha efter hir counsel rose in his shirt and did so. Bot then becaus of the sa­uor of the draucht, it caused him to cough much moir low­der, that the wenches father hard it, and asked of his douchter quhat man it was that coched in hir chamber. Scho answe­red and said na bodie, bot euer this ȝoung man coughed still more and more, quhome the father heiring said, surely hure [Page] thou liest, I wil se quha is thair and rose out of his bed, this wench persauing hir father ry­sing, come to the gentilman & said, tak heid sir to ȝour self, for my father cumeth. This gen­tilman sodenlie theiwith a­bashed would haue pulled his heid out of the draught hole, quhilk wes verie straight for it, that he pulled the seegebord vp theirwith, and hinging about his neck, ran vpon her father being ane auld man, and gaue him a greit fal & bair him doun and hurt his arme. and opened the durs, and ran into the streit with the draught bord about his neck toward Dauids In, as fast as he could. This wenche for feir ran out of hir fathers hous & come not yair a month efter, this gentilman as he ran vp Hoburn bridge, met with a Colȝears cart loden with coils, quhair thair was two or thrie skittish horses, quhilk quhen they saw the gentilman runing start aside and threw doun the cart with coles, & drew it aside and brak the cart rope quhair­by the coles fel out, sum in ane place and sum in another, and efter the horses brak thair tra­ces, and ran sum toward smithfeild, and sum toward Newgat, that the Colier ran efter them, and was ane houre and mair, or he could get his horses to­gidder againe, by quhilk tyme the pepill of the streit wer risen, and come to the streit and saw it strawin with coles, euerie one for his pairt gathered vp the coles, that the maist pairt [Page] wer gone, or the Colȝier had gotten his horses. Bot during this quhyle, the Gentelman went throuch Sant Androwes Kirk-ȝard toward Dauids In, and thair met with the sexten cumming to ring to morning masse, quhilk quhen he saw the Gentelman in the Kirk-ȝard in his sark, with the draucht bord about his nek, did think it had bene a Spreit, and cryed, alace, alace, a Spreit, and ran back a­gane to his hous almost at the [...], and for feir was almost out of his wit, that hee was worse halfe a ȝeir efter. This Gentel­man then becaus Dauids In ȝets wer not open, went on the backside, and lap ouer the Gar­dein wall, bot in leiping the draucht bord sa troublit him that he fell doun into the Gar­den, and had almaist broken his neck, and thair he lay still til the Principal come into the Garden, quhilk quhen he law him ly thair, had wont yat sum man had bene slayne and thair cast ouer the wall, and durst not cum neir him, till hee had called vp his cumpanie, quhilk quhen manie of the Gentel­men wer cum togither, luked vpon him and knew him, and efter releued him, bot the bord that was about his neck caused his heid so to swell, that thay could not get it off, till thay wer faine to cut it off with aix­es.

¶Of the Marchants wyfe, &c

A Marchants wyfe thair was in Bow parish in London, sum­quhat stept in age, to quhom [...] [Page] hir mayde come on a Sonday in Lent efter denner, and said, Maisters quod she, they ring at S. Thomas of Acres, for thair salbe a sermon preiched thair. To quhom hir Mistres answe­red & said, Marie Gods blissing haue thy hart for wairning me thairof, and becaus I sleipt not weill all this nycht, I pray thee bring my stule with thee, for I wil go thair to luke quhither I can take a nap thair quhile the Preist is preiching.

¶Of the woman that said, &c.

THAIR was a certaine of wemen gathered together, and in communication ane hapned to say that hir Gryses efter they wer ferriet died and would not liue, and ane auld wyfe of hir acquantance heiring hir say sa, bad hir get a Cuckolds hat, and put the Gryses thairin a quhile efter thay war ferriet, and thay sould liue. Quhilk wyfe inten­ding to do efter her counsell, come to ane of hir Cummers quhair yat medicine was tauld hir for hir Gryses, & prayed hir to lend hir, hir Husbands hat. Quhilk answered angerlie and said, I wold thou knew it ladrō I haue nane, for my husband is no Cuckold, for I am a gude woman. And so lykwayis euery woman answered hir in lyke maner, that sho departed from manie of them in anger and scolding. Bot quhen sho saw sho could get nane, sho come agane to hir Cummers all an­gerly & said, I haue gane round about to borrow a Cuckolds hat, & can get nane, quhairfoir [Page] if I leif another ȝeir, I wil haue ane of my awin, and be out of my nichtbours danger.

Of the Gentelman that &c.

A Gentelman and a Gentelwo­mā sat togither talking, quhilk Gentelman had greit paine in ane of his teith, and happened to say to the Gentel-woman thus: Surely Mistris I haue a toeth in my heid, quhilk gre­ueth me verie sore, quhairfoir I would it wer in ȝour tail. Sho heiring him say sa, answered thus, in gude faith sir, if ȝour toeth war in my taill it could do it dot lytil gude, bot if thair be ony thing in my tail yat can do ȝour toeth gude, I would it war in it.

¶The Gentilman that said, &c.

A ȝong Gentelman of the age of xx. ȝeir, sumquhat disposed to mirth and game, on a tyme talked with a Gentel-woman quhilk was richt wyse and also mery. this gentelwoman as sho talk [...] with him hapned to luk vpon his beard, quhilk was bot ȝoung, and sumquhat growen vpon the ouer lip, and bot lytill growen beneath, as all vther mens beards vse commonly to grow, and said to him. Sir, ȝe haue a beard aboue, & none beneath. And he heiring hir say sa said in sport: Maistres ȝe haue a beard beneth and none aboue. Mary qd she then set the one a­gainst the vther, quhilk answer maid the Gentelman so abaȝed y • he had not a word to answer.

¶The freir that said ou [...], &c.

THAIR was a certaine quhyte Freir quhilk was a verie [Page] glutton, & a greit nigard quhilk had ane vngracious boye that euer followed him and bare his clocke, and quhat for the Freirs gluttonie, and for his churlishnes, the boye quhair he went coult scant ger meit y­neuch, for the Freir would eit almaist all him self. Bot on a tyme the Freir maid a Sermon [...]n the Cuntrie, quhairin hee touched verie monie miracles quhilk Christ did befoir his passion, amang quhilk he specially rehersed the miracle, quhilk Christ did in feiding v. M. pei­pil with fyue laifis of breid, & twa si shes. And this Freirs boy quhilk caired not grei [...]lie for his Maister, heiring him say sa, and considdering that his Ma­ster was sa greit a Churll and glutton, answered with a lowd voyce, that al the Kirk hard, & said. By my trouth Maister yan thair was na freirs thair, quhilk answeir maid all the peipill to fal on sik a lauching, that for shame the Freir went out of Pulpet. And as for the Freirs boye he departed then out of Kirk, that the Freir neuer saw him efter.

¶The Franklin that wold, &c.

A rich Franklin dwelling in ye cuntrie had a Freir vsing to his hous of quhom he could neuir be red, and had taried with him the space of a seuin nichts, and would neuer depart. Quhair­foir the Franklin being wearie of him, on a tyme as he and his wyfe and this Freir sat togither at supper, feinȝied himself an­grie with his wyfe, in so much [Page] he said he would beat hir. The [...]reir persauing weil quhat they went about, said thus. Maister Franklin, I haue bene heir this seuin nichts, quhen ȝow we [...] freinds, and wil tarie heir this foure nichts longer, bot I wil se ȝow freinds agane or I gang. This man persauing that hee could do na gude, nor would not depart be na honest meine, answered him shortly and said. By my faith thow sal byde heir na langer and tuke him be the shoulders and thrust him out of the durs by violence.

¶The Gentelman that, &c.

IN Essex thair dwelt a merie Gentelman, quhilk had a cuke called Thomas, that was greit­ly dieised with the worme, and complayned to his Maister yair of, quhilk said he had a buke of Medecines, and said he would luke in his buik, to s [...] quhither he could [...]inde onie medecine thairin for it, and so sent ane of his Dauchters to his studie for his buik, and incontinent lukit vpon it a lang sesoun, and then said thus to his cuke: Thomas quod he heir is a medecine for ȝour worme, and it is a charme, bot it wil do ȝow na gude ex­cep ȝe knele on ȝour kneis, and ask it for Sanct Charitie. This man glad to be releised of his paine, kneiled and said: Maister for Sanct Charitie let me haue the medecine. Then quod this Gentelman, kneil on ȝour kne­is and say efter me, quhilk kne­led doun and said efter him as he bade him. This Gentelman began and said thus. The sone [Page] on the Sonday, the Sone on the Sonday, qd Thomas, the Mone on the Monday, the Mone on the Monday, the Trinity on the Twyisday, the Trinity on the Twyisday, The wit on the [...]ed­nisday, the wit on the Wednis­day, The holy holy Thurisday, The holy holy Thurisday. And all that fast on Fryday, and all that fast on Fryday. Schyte in thy mouth on Satterday. This Cuke heiring his Maister thus mocking him, in anger start vp and said: A thou moking chu [...]ll I will neuer do the seruice mair and went forth to his Cham­ber to get his geare together, to the intent to haue gone thence by and by. Bot quhat for the anger he tuke with his Maister, for the mock that hee gaue him, and quhat for the labour that hee tuke to gather his geir sa schortlie together, the payne of the worme went from him and maid that his maister come to him and maid him to tarie still, and told him that his Charme was the caus of the ease of the payne of the worme.

Of the fule that said he wold. A fule thair was that dwelled with a Gentelman in the Cun­trie quhilk was callit a greit tyrant, & ane extortioner Bot yis fule luifed his Maister maruel­lously, becaus he cherishit him so weil, it hapned vpon a sesoun an of the Gentelmans seruants said to the fule as thay talked of sermon maters, by my truth [...]ack qd he, would to God that thow and I wer both in heuin. [Page] Nay by Lady qd the f [...]le I will not go to heuin, for I had le­uer go to hel. I wil go with my master for I am sure my master sal go to hel becaus euerie man sayeth that he sal go to hel, & thairfoir I wil go with him.

The plowmans sone that, &c.

THAIR was a certane Plow­mans sone of the cuntrie, of ye age of xvi ȝeirs, yat come neuer much amang cumpanie, bot al way went to pleuch & husbandrie. On a tyme this ȝoug Lad went to a weding with his fa­ther, quhair he saw ane play v­pon a Lute, and quhen he com hame agane, his mother asked him quhat sporte hee had sen [...]. This Lad an swered and said: by my truth mother quod he their wes one that brocht a Goose betwene his armes, and tyckled hir sa vpon the neck, that sho crecked the swetest that euer I hard Goose creck in my lyfe▪

¶The Madyns answer, &c.

IN a Marchants hous in Lon­don thair was a Mayd quhilk was with chyld, to quhom the Maistresse of the house come and charged hir to tell quha was the father of the Chylde. To quhome the madin answe­red, Forsuith no body. Quhy qd the maisters, it is not possibill bot sum man must bee father of the chylde, To quhome the Madyn said: Quhy Maisters, quhy may not I haue a Chyld without a man, alsweill as a Hen to lay eg [...] without a Cock.

¶The seruant that rimed, &c.

A gentelman thair was dweling neir Kingston vpon Thames, [Page] ryding in the country with his seruant, quha was not ane of the quickest in the warlde, bot euer ryding sadly by his mai­ster, and had very fewe wordis: his master said to him, Iohne, Quhy rydest thow sa sadly? I wald haue the to tell me some mery rails for to passe the time withall. Be my trouth master quod he, I ca [...] tel no tailis: quhy quod his master, can thou not sing? No be my treuth said the seruant, I coulde neuer sing in all my life: quod the master, can thou ryme than? Neyther can I do sa saide he, bot gif ȝe will begin to ryme I will follow as weill as I can. Then saide the master, that is weill said, then will I begin to mak ane ryme, let me se how weill thou canst follow. Sa the master musit ane quhyle, & then began to ryme thus: Many mens Swans sow­mes in the Loch, & sa domine. Then quod Iohn, And many a man lyes by other ma [...]s wifes, and sa do I by thine. Quhat do ȝe huirsone, quod the maister? Be my trueth maister, nathing qd. he, bot maks vp that ryme. Bot quod the master, I charge the tell me quhy thou sayis sa. Forsuith maister quod hee, for nathing in the warlde, bot to mak vp ȝour ryme. Then quod the master, gif thou doest it for nathing els I am content: sa his master forgaue him his saying.

¶The wife that bade hir &c.

THE husband saide to the wife on this wife, Be this can­dell I dreamed this nicht that I was ane cuckald. To quhome [Page] scho answered and said, Hus­band, by this breid ȝe ar none. Then said he wyfe eit the breid Scho answered and said to hir husband, then eit ȝow the can­dell, for ȝow swore first.

¶Of the woman that, &c.

A woman demandit a question of a ȝoung Chylde, sone vnto a man of Law: Of quhat craft his father wes, quhilk Chylde said his father was a craftie man of Law.

Of him that sauld richt nocht.

A Certaine fellow thair was quhilk proferred a dagger to sel to a fellow of his, quhilk an­swered him and said, that hee had richt nocht to giue him for it, quhairfoir the vther said yat he sould haue the dager vpon that condition that he sould deliuer vnto him yairfoir with­in sax days efter, richt nocht, or els twenty poundis in money, quhairof this vther was contēt. This bargaine thus agreit that he suld d [...]liuer this richtnocht, tuke no thocht vntill the tyme that the daye appointed dr [...]w neir: at the quhilk tyme he be­gan to imagine how hee micht deliuer to this man richtnocht, and first of al he thocht on ane fether, a straw, a pynne, a point, & such vther, bot nothing culd he deuyse bot it was sumquhat, quhairfoir hee come hame all sad and pensiue, for sorrow for leesing of his xxl. and could neither sleip nor tak rest, quhair­foir his wyfe seing him greued, demanded the cause of his he­uines, quhilk at the last e [...]ter many denyes told hir all, weill [Page] sir quod sho, let me heir with alone, and get ȝow furth off Town, and I sal handil the ma­ter weil yneuch. This man fol­lowing his wyues counsel went forth off the Town, and let his wyfe schift. This woman then hanged vp ane earthen pot, quhairof the bottome was out vpon the wall by a cord. And quh [...]n this vther man come, & asked for the gudeman, scho said he was not within. Bot sir quod scho I knaw ȝour eirrand weil yneuch, for I wore weil ȝe would haue of my husband xx punds, becaus hee can not de­lyuer to ȝow this daye richt­noucht. Thairfoir Sir quod scho put ȝour hand in ȝonder pot, and take ȝour monie. This man being glade, thrust his hand in it, supposing to haue taken twentie poundes of mo­nie, and thrust his hand thruch it vp to the elbowe. Quoth the wyfe then, sir quhat haue ȝow thair: Marie quod he richt­noucht, Sir quod scho then haue ȝe ȝowre bargane, and then my Husband hath contented ȝow for his dagger, accor­ding to his promyse.

¶ The boy that bare the, &c.

A Certaine Freir had an boye, quhilk euer beare this freirs mony. And on a tyme quhen the boy was far behind his maister▪ as they two walked together by the way, their met a man the freir quhilk knew that the boy bure the freirs mony & said, maste [...] Freir sall I bid the boy hye him a pace efter the, ȝea quod the freir, then went the man to [Page] the boy and said sirra thy Ma­ster biddeth ye giue me xl pence I will not quod the boye, then called the man with a hie voice to the freir and said, Sir he sayis hee will not. Then quod the Freir, beate him. And quhen the boye hard his maister say so he ga [...]e the man xl pence.

¶The courteour & the carter.

Thair come a Courteour by a Carter, the quhilk in derision praised the carters black legges, & vther members of his bodye marvelously, quhais moking ye Carter persaued, & said he had an vther property then he saw. And quhen the Courteour had demanded quhat it sould be, he luked aside ouer his shoulder v­pon the Courteour and said thus: Lo sir this is my property, I haue a wall eye in my heid, for I neuer luke ouer my shoulder this way, bot commonly I espy a knaue.

¶The freir in the pulpit, &c.

IN a certane parish kirk in London efter the olde accustomed maner, thair was a Freir Minor althocht hee were not the best Clark, nor culd not mak ye best sermons, ȝit by the licence of ye Curate he thair preiched to the Parishoners. Amang the quhilk audience thair was ane wyfe at that tyme lytill disposed to contemplacion, talked with a cūmer of hirs of vther feminine tailes so loud, that the Freir ha [...]d, and some quhat was per­turbed thairwith, to quhome therefore oppenlie the Frear spake, and said, thow woman thair in the tawyne gown, hold [Page] thy peace and leif thy babling, thou troublest ye word of god. This woman thairwith sodenly abaȝed becaus the freir spak to hir, answered shortly and said, I beshrow his hart that bableth most of vs two. At the quhilk saying the peipil merely lauch­ed, bee [...]s thay felt bot a lytill frute in his sermon.

The man that had the dum, &c

THAIR was a man that mar [...] ­it a woman quhilk had greit riches and bewtie, howbeit sho had such impediment of nature that sho was dumbe and could not speik, quhilk thing maid him to be rich: pensiue and sad. Quhairfoir vpon a day as hee walkit alone richt heuy in his hart thinking vpon his wyfe. Thair come one to him and asked him, quhat was the cause of his heuines? Quhilk answe­red that it was only becaus his wyfe was dumbe. To quhome this vther said, I sal schaw the sone a remedy and a medicine thairfoir, and that is this, go tak an Aspin leife, and lay it vnder hir toung this nicht sho being a sleip, and I warrand the that sho sal speik on the morne, the man being glade of this medi­cine, prepared thairfoir and ga­thered Aspin leifis, quhairof he laid thrie of thē vnder hir tong quh [...]n sho was a sl [...]ip. And on the morrow quhen he himselfe awalked, he being desirous to knaw how his medicine wrocht being in bed with hir, hee de­manded of hir how sho did, and sodenly sho answered and said: I beshrow ȝour hart for [Page] waking me sa airlie. And sa by the vertew of that medicine sho was restord to hir speich: Bot in conclusion h [...]r speich so incressed day be day, and scho was sa curst of condition, that euery day sho brauled and chid with hir husband so much, that at the last hee was more vexed and had much more troubill and diseise with hir schrewd words then he had befoir quhē sho was dum. Quhairfoir as he walked another tyme alone, he happened to meit agane with the same person that tauld him the said medicine, and said to him in this wyse: Sir ȝe tald me a medicine but lait to make my dum wyfe speik, bidding me lay an Aspin leife vnder hir toung quhen sho sleipt, and I laid thr [...] Aspin leifis their, quhairfoir scho now speiketh, bot ȝit scho speiketh so much, & so shrewd­ly, that I am more weirie of hir now, then I was befoir quhen sho was dum. Quhairfor I pray ȝow teich me a medicine to mo lyfy her, that scho speik not so much. This vther answered and said thus: sir I am a Deuill of hel, and am one of them that hath leist power thair, all be it I haue power to make a woman speik, I nor al the Deuils of hell that haue the maist power, be not abill to make a woman be stil, nor cause hir to leiue hir speiking.

¶The proctor of Archies, &c.

ANE asked a Proctor of the Archies laitely befoir maryed, quhy he chuse him sa lytill a wyfe, quhilk answered, because [Page] the had a Text saying thus, Ex­duobus malis, minus malum est eligendum, that is to say in En­glish. Among all euil things, ye leist is to be chosen.

¶The Eusquyre that sould, &c.

QVHEN the most nobil Prince, King Edwarde of Eng­land maid [...] in France with a greit pui [...]ant Armie of peopil quhom the French King with an vther grit host encountered And quhen the two hosts suld joyne, and the trumpets began to blowe, a ȝong Squyer of Ing­land riding vpon a lusty corler, quhilk horse heiring the noyse of the Trumpets, so pricked his corage yat the Squyre culd not retayne him, so that aganst his wil hee run vpon his enemies,, quhilk seing no vther remedie, set his Speir in the rest▪ and rod throuch the thickest of his e­nemies, and in conclusion had gude fortoun and saued him­self alyue without hurt, and ye English host followed & had the victorie. And efter quhen the feild was done, the King Edward called the Squyer, and bad him kneil doun for he wald mak him knycht, becaus he va­liently played the man yat day, quhilk with a most corragious stomock aduentured first vpon their enemies, To quhome the Squyre thus answered, if it lyke ȝour Grace to make ony bodie Knicht thairfoir, I beseich ȝow to mak my hors knicht & not me, for certes it was his deid & not mine, & soir aganst my wil Quhilk answer the king heir­ing, refraned to promot him to [Page] the order of knichthude, reput­ing him in maner but for a coward, & euer fauourt him ye les.

¶The woman that dyd, &c.

A ȝoung man lait maryed to a wyfe, thocht it was gude poli­cie to get the mastrie of hir in the beginning. He come to hir, the pot seething ouer the fyre, althocht ye meit yairin was no [...] yneuch, sodenly commanded her to take pot from the fyre, quhilk answered, and saide, that the meit was not redie to cit. And he saide againe I will haue it taken of for my plesour This gude woman loth to of­fend him set the pot besyde the fyre as he bad hir, And anone commanded hir to set ye pot behind the dure, And sho said a­gane, ȝe be not wyse thairin. Bot he precislie said it sould be as he bad. And sho gentlie agane did his commandement. This man not ȝit satisfyit, com­maunded her to set the pot on hie vpon the Hen rouff. Quhat quod the wyfe, I trow ȝe be mad, and he fercely com­manded hir to set it on thair, or else hee saide scho sould re­pent it, Scho some quhat af­frayed to moue his pacience, tuke a ladder and set it to the rouff, & went hir self vpon the ladder, and tuke the pot in hir hand, praying hir Husband [...] then to hold the ladder fast for slyding, quhilk hee did. And quhen the husband luked vp & saw ye pot stand yair on hie, he said thus: Loe, now standeth the pot thair as I woulde haue it, this wyfe heiring yat sodenly [Page] poured the hait pottage on his heid and said thus: and now be the pottage thair as I would haue them.

¶The scholer of Oxford, &c

A riche Frankling in the cuntry, hauing by his wyfe bot ane Chylde and na ma, for the grit affection that he had to his said Chylde, found him at Oxford to scule by the the space of twa or thrie ȝeir. This ȝoung scoller in the vacants for his disporte come hame to his father. It fortuned efterward on a nicht, the father, the mother, and the said ȝoung scoller sitting at supper, hauing befoir yem na mair incit bot only a couple of chik­ens, the father faid in this wise, Sone, sa it is that I haue spent much mony vpon the, to find the at scole, quhairfoir I haue grit desyre to knaw quhat thou learnest. To quhome the Sone answered & said. Father I haue studyit Sophistry, and by that science, I can proue that these twa Chickens in the dische be thrie Chickens, Marie said the Father that would I faine see. The scoller tuke one of the Chickens in his hand, and said: Loe heir is ane Chicken, and in continent hee tuke both the Chickens in his hand joyntlie, and said heir is two Chickens, and ane and twa maketh thrie, Ergo, thair is thrie Chickens. Then the father tuke ane of the Chickens himself, and gaue another to his wyfe, and said thus: Lo I wil haue ane of the Chickens to my part, and thy mother sall haue another, and [Page] becaus of thy gude argument thou shalt haue the third to thy supper, thow gets no moir mei [...] heir at this tyme, quhilk pro­meis the father kept, and so the scholer went without his sup­per.

¶Of the Courtier yat did, &c.

A Courtier & a Friar hapned to meet together in a fery boat, & in communication betwen thē fell at angry wo [...]des, and being displeased one with ano [...]her, fought & strugled together, [...]o that at th [...] last the Co [...]rtier cast the Friar [...], and [...] was [...] man quhilk had ben [...] o [...] weir the maist part of his lyfe befoir, and [...]eing the Freir drouned and gone, [...] thus to the Courteour, I beshrew thy har [...], [...]how souldest haue taryed and foucht with him a land, for now thow hest caused me to lose ane halfpeny for my fare.

¶Of the Freir [...]at, &c.

A [...] the Pulpit being pre­ching verie [...]ond things, among vther maters spak of mens sauls and said thay war so maruelous and so subtill that a thowsand soules micht dance in the com­pas of a nayle of a mans finger. Amang quhilk audience thair was a merie conceyted fellow of small deuotion, that answe­red and said thus, Maister Freir, if that a thowsand soules may daunce on a mans nayle, I pray yow then quhair sall the Py­per stand.

¶Of the Schomaker &c.

THAIR was a shomaker sitting in his shop, that saw a Colȝier [Page] come by and [...]hocht to deride him, becaus he was so blak, & asked him quhat tydings was in hel and how the Deuil faird, To quhome the Colȝier said, the Deuill faired weill quhen I saw him last, for he was tiding forch, and taryed bot for a sow­tar to pluck of his bootes.

¶The freir ya [...] said dirge for ye.

VPON a tyme certaine we­men in the Countrie wer ap­poynted to deryde and mock a Freir, a Lymitour that vsed much to visite them, quhair v­pon ane of them, a lytill befoir the Freir come had killed ane Hog, and for disporte layde it vnder the burde, efter the ma­ner of a corse, and told the freir that it was hir gude man, and desyred him to say dirig [...] for his saul, quhairfoir the freir & his fellow began Placebo & di­rige, and so furth said the ser­uice so [...], quhilk the wy­ues so [...] from lauching, and went into a lytill pa [...]ler [...] to [...]auch more at thair pleasoure. These Freirs somequhat sus­pectit the cause, and quickly or that the wemen wer ware luk­ed vnder the burde, and spyed that it was a Hog, sodenly tuke it betwene them and bare it haimward as fast as they micht: the wemen seing that, ran efter the Freir and cryed cum agane master freir, cum again, cum a­gane, and let [...]al [...]one. Nay by my faith quod the Freir he is a brother of ours, and thairfoir he must neids be buryed in our Cloyster. And so the freir ga [...]

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