Laquei ridiculosi: OR Springes for Woodcocks. Caueat Emptor.

[figure]

LONDON: Printed for Iohn Busby, and are to be sould at his shop in S. Dunstans Church-yarde in Fleet street.

1613

Lectori benigno, Scienti, & ignoto.

DVo propemodum anni elapsi sunt, ex quo primum Epi­gramata haec (qualiacunque) raptim & festinanter perfi­ [...]ebam: Quae cum Capellano siue Officialitiam [...]isa (sicuti mos est) & approbata, [...]unc equidem aut non omnino in lucem pro­ [...]irent: partim quod secundum tempora & occasionem composita aptiora magis & [...]ece [...]ntiora gustare videantur; & quod hisce [Page] studijs aut potius vanitatibus minus iam dudum versatus, valedixissem. Sed num placuerit ei cum Typographo citius agere, cui gratís (vt priora) lubenter con­tuli: aut alia (qu [...] nescio) impeditus occa­sione, eadem sine me edita iam sunt, & in publicum diuulgata: Si tamen cuicunque fortasse placeant perlegenti, mihi etiam gratissimum fuerit & perplacebunt, dum­modo quae commissa sint errata, humaniter condonauerint, aut quae omissa, non culpaue­rint imprudenter. At non sum nescius quam a [...]ara & virulenta quoru [...]dam sint inge­nia, qui cum mellis nihil habeant, a [...]uleu [...] tamen venu [...]atum gerunt, quo obuiu [...] quemque vulnerent atque insectentur [Page] Hisce, ego Absinthium & graueolentes her­ [...]as potius quam suauissimas rosas grati­ [...]ue odoris Thymum (Hyblaeis Apibus degu­ [...]tandum) offerrem. Sed vt desistam pau­ [...]is; Si qui de [...]ique laqueis istis (quem­ [...]dmodum appellantur) necesse & volenter [...]iodo incidere certabunt, ita quod de me [...]essimè & immeritò postea loquentur, tali­ [...]s ego proxima tantummodo editione, [...]lanculum (si coactus) responsionem fa­ [...]am.

Hen: Parrot. Vni, sipossim posse placere, sat e [...]t.
DIues Arabs aurum, gemmas dat laetior orbis,
Et quaeis confines Indus & Americus:
At sterilis Gens ista mea est, fulgentis Eoi
Lumina, quam solis nulla beare solent.
Quae tamen indigno concessit Iupiter almus,
(Nulla licet tanto Iudice digna,) dabit.

To the Reader.

TO the Courteous, Gene­rous, and Scolasticke Rea­ders: I cannot stoop too submissiue-low with that [...]bseruance which to them belongeth. But to th' illiterat and home-spun-Pea­ [...]ants, proue I as harsh and indigestable as is their spite and ignorance vnre­ [...]roueable. I know I shall be fowly censured of some Slauonians that scarce [Page] haue any taste or feeling of inuention; yet will be medling though they cry but Mew, whom to reuenge were lesse expedient by how much the labor in so base a busines would proue impertinēt. If any one in the reading hereof shall ought assume to his owne particuler▪ and say expresly it is ment by him, [...] cannot helpe his incredulitie, but ra­ther wish his folly more apparant▪ that men might note him as a publick [...] Cockscombe.

For mine owne part, I had long since bidden adue to these idle toyes not thinking my labours (done then [...] should now againe be brought vnto the Presse, which is indeed withou [...] [Page] [...]y priuitie. VVherefore, if any thing [...]oeuer be escaped or misplaced, it shall [...]ot be imputed vnto my fault, being [...] neither was nor would be thereunto [...]onsenting or assisting: Nor shall I [...]eede be so obsequious, seeing it was onely done then to please my [...]elfe; much lesse to vse any long Apol­ [...]gie, which were to erect a large Portall to a little Cottage. In briefe, [...]t is to me no otherwise then as a cast [...]r game at Passage, that am indifferent [...]hough I [...]ling out at first: and there­fore to conclude, as I seeke to please none, so looke I for as little thankes, [...]sse prayse, & least reward: so farewell.

To the vulgar Censurers.

IF my ill-tuned Rimes content the wise,
Whose deeper iudgements I desire to please,
Let not the ruder sort be so precise,
That ( Critticke seeming) cannot censure these.
I write not to the rusticke Rabblement,
Nor fawne vpon the curious kinde of men,
But hold it more then bootlesse labour spent
To begge their poore applause; nor care I then
If such repine, whose enuy cannot hurt,
Though like a raging Sea they foame their durt.
FINIS.
MY honest friends that reades, I you bes [...]ec [...]
To make the best construction of each lett [...]
And not to blame my lauishnesse of speech,
In paying soundly where I am a debter:
My word and credit else you should infringe,
Which was to catch the Woodcocke in a Spring

SPRINGES FOR VVoodcocks.

1
Crispati erines, Plumae, dant calcar amori.

WHy is young Anas thus with feathers dight?
And on his shoulder wears a dangling lock:
The one foretels he'l sooner flie then fight;
The other showes hee's wrapt in's mothers smock.
But wherefore wears he such a Iingling spur?
Oh, he deales oft with lades that will not stur.

2
Pariiugo sociantur Asini.

COthurn [...]s thinks he hath the rarest wit,
That any sel [...]e-conceit can glory in;
Doe but applaud him, and you are as fit
Vnto his purpose as an Asse to's skin:
Marke if to Paules the Gallant be not gone,
You seldome there see one foole walke alone.

3
Consuetudo, lex.

TWo wooers for a vvench were each at strife,
Which should enioy her to his wedded wife;
Quoth th' one, shee's mine, because I first her saw,
Shee's mine, quoth th' other, by Pye-corner law;
Where, sticking once a P [...]ick on what you buy
It's then your owne, which no man must deny.

4
Ingrata Gratia,

GRace, I confesse▪ she hath a comely face,
Good hand and foote, as answerable to it:
But whats all this except she had more grace?
Oh, you will say, tis want that makes her doe it.
True: want of grace indeed; the more her shame,
Disgrace by nature, onely Grace by name.

5
Quo maior, peior.

Aetus, that late a great Deuine did meet,
[...] Would, iesting, needs presume his health to gree [...],
[...]ho (not offended) told him he was well:
[...]o [...]d then, quoth Letus, see what lyes men tell,
Last day I was abroad, where I did heare
Your Worship hath beene speechlesse all this yeare.

6
Magnis fortuna nocet.

TWo Knights in London (the Tearme being ended)
Would of a Scriuener borrow fifty pound:
[...]ho said, by him they could not be befriended
[...]lesse a Citizen with them were bound:
For, quoth the Scriuener, thus much vnderstand,
The men we trust haue eyther goods or Land.

7
Videantur quae non sunt.

SAltus goes booted to the dauncing schoole,
As if from thence his meaning were to ride;
But Saltus says they keepe his legs more coole,
And which for ease he better may abide:
Tut, that's a cold excuse. It rather seem'd
Saltus silke stockings were not yet redeem'd.

8
Vmbras non scelus metuit.

MIstresse Marina starts to see a Frog,
A Naked Rapier, or a creeping Mouse;
To heare a Gun, a barking mastiue Dog,
Or smell Tobacco that de [...]iles her house,
To taste of Fish no man aliue shall woe her,
Yet feares she not what flesh can doe vnto her▪

9
Sal [...]em videretur.

A Welshman and an Englishman disputed,
Which of their lands maintain'd the greatest state;
[...]he Englishman the Welshman quite confuted,
[...]t would the Welshman nought his brags abate,
[...]en Cooks (quoth he) in Wales one Wedding fees▪
True, quoth the other, each man to [...]t [...] his Cheese.

10
Latet aliquid intus.

MIstresse Mallina waxeth ill at ease,
And keepes her Bed, sicke of a burning feuer:
[...]t shee's perswaded tis some worse disease,
[...]nd that the foolish Doctor doth deceiue her;
For why? shee feeles it shooting in her bones,
That griping puts her to most grieuous grones.

11
Naturam expellere durum.

PRofus [...] borrowes, but ne'er payes againe,
(A custome he hath kepte'er since his Cradle)
Although you binde him in an Iron chaine,
Can any man pay debts more then hee's able?
Fore God, not he. Let Nouerints sinke or swim,
Hee'l sooner deale with Kate, though she pay him.

12
Tempora praesagit Venus.

KAte, for a need, deales in Astronomie,
And can of times and things prognosticate;
For as they vse vpon their backes to lie,
And censure of the weathers changing state;
So she (her body laid) can prophesie
Whether it shall proue colde, hot, moyst, or dry.

13
Sensus falluntur [...]ept [...].

VVAT told his wife she closely plaid the whore,
For, ipso facto, he himselfe espide it
[...]rom forth the key-hole of the chamber dore:
[...]ut she regardles to his teeth denide it
Saying, Thou Rascall, wilt beleeue thine eyes
Before thy Wife, that in thy bosome lyes?

14
Improbè Neptunum accusat qui bis naufragium fecit▪

SVsan hath sworne to deale no more on trust,
What shift so euer she be forst to make her;
[...]r such as promise most in heat of lust
[...]ill least performe (saith Susan) but forsake her:
And can ye blame her then? iudge those that know it,
[...]wice to be got with childe and no man owe it?

15
Ingl [...]uiem seauitur fames.

CVrio would feed vpon the daintiest fare,
That with the Court or Countrie might compare▪
For what lets Curio that hee need to care,
To frolick freely with the proud'st that dare.
But his excesse was such in all things rare,
As he proou'd bankerout ere he was aware.

16
Omnis vicessitudo grata.

PArnell accompts it deepest pollicie,
To shift her lodging euery month at least;
Tis strange you should demand the reason why,
Are not her Clyents thereby more increast;
Besides, her yeares and actions yet in prime,
That els might proue a Baude before her time.

17
Nunquam saturata libido.

[...]Vcas so long lies surfetting in's Bed
As seldome it permits him rise to dinner
[...]ntill his lustfull appetite be fed,
[...]hiles hee's consorting with some femall sinner,
Whom hackney-like he hires from night till noone,
And turnes her off his iourney being done.

18
Spreta tamen viuunt.

[...]Ocunda is become an idle liuer,
Supported by the bounties of so many
[...]s may be thought the fault is in the giuer,
[...]hen pitty twere she be releiu'd by any.
And yet you'l say, if there were none to giue,
How should such creatures as Iocunda liue?

19
No [...] omnia possumus omne [...].

FVscus forgets since first he was a Clarke,
And (now I thinke on't) well he might doe [...],
That had of learning but so little sparke:
Should he remember what he did not know?
No matter ( Fuscus) halfe t'hexchequer knowes thee,
That now so ancient shall not need to poze thee.

20
Sequitur vestigia matris.

'Tis maruail'd much how Martha holds it out,
That's thought to haue so little commings in,
Pish, none that knowes her duely makes that doubt:
Besides, she comes not of so base a kin,
For though her father were of Gentry wide,
Shee's borne a mad wench by the mothers side.

21
Quantum mutatus ab illo.

[...]Edes growne proud, makes men admire thereat,
Whose baser breeding should (they think) not beare it,
[...]ay he on Cock-horse rides, hovv like you that?
[...]ut Pedes prouerbe is, win gold and weare it:
But Pedes you haue seene them rise in hast,
That through their pride haue broake their neckes at last.

22
Malum commune pri [...]atum inc [...]ndium.

HEllen of Tr [...]y, was held a wondrous Woman,
(If all things wondrous be which vve admire)
[...]et neuer was she knowne so wondrous common,
[...]hough gainst her will, she caus'd that vvondrous fire:
But wondrous is our Hellens more mistrust,
That kindles thousands with her fire of lust.

23
Modò diues, pessimus vocetur.

PRauus th'Atturny prooues himselfe to blame,
By taking, as tis said, excessiue fees;
But his excuse is others doe the same,
Which else for want of asking they should leese:
Tut, who is he but scandall may depraue,
That twice was vnder-Shreiue and yet no K.?

24
Sat, Si formosa Camilla.

CAmilla hath a faire and pleasing face,
But it's as common as her conuersation,
She like esteemes your praise as her disgrace,
That with a poxe bids farewell reputation;
For shee'l maintaine the course she first began,
To sweare, carowse, or lye with any man.

25
Vritur omnis Amor.

[...] Wonder Petrus lookes so paily on it,
Whose late resemblance seem'd of sanguine hue?
[...]ou shall not need (Sir) question much vpon it,
[...]is too well knowne how (with a poxe) it grew:
Twas ne'er yet sound with him since first he swore,
To loue Rebecca that polluted—

26
Domi parcus, for as prodigus.

VVHen Toruus seldome sups or dines abroad,
He seemes more curious then the best at table,
[...]nd with the daintiest dishes layes on load,
[...]lthough it cost him more then's meanes is able:
Thus at one meale himselfe the Buzard robs,
That basely feedes at home on hearing-cobs

27
Nummorum impensas, non Veneris luxum fugit.

GA [...]fridus growne a flincher now of late,
Mongst his Comrages (as men he neuer knew)
Will henceforth (sweares) those cursed courses hate;
And truely learne to lead his life anew,
For proofe whereof and to auoyd such cost,
He keepes him onely to one Wench at most.

28
Ingenium, vent [...]is amor, et pocula laedunt.

VVHy should not Pr [...]cus haue a pregnant vvit,
That hath so many proofes thereof profest,
I see no reason much should hinder it,
Hee's rich inough, and fareth of the best:
Drinckes as good liquor as is made of malt,
But vvith his meat he eates too little Salt.

29
Quis tantiemeret poenitentiam?

SImplex, a Citizen was guld of late,
Who sporting scarce a minute with his wench,
[...]ought his repentance at so deare a ra [...]e,
[...]s ere he could the Panders fury quench
Was forst through coward feare, to pay the shot,
Which might ensue that Simplex neuer got.

30
Quam sequimur deteriora.

[...] Aurentius hath of Ladies long beene lou'd,
But he Adonis-like regards them not,
[...]or by their best inticements can be mou'd,
[...]nd yet an issue of his loynes hath got:
By whom thinke you? some beautious Nimph at least:
To tell you true by Ioane his kitchin-Beast.

31
Vindicta vim sequitur.

KIt being kickt and spurn'd pursues the Law.
That doom'd the damage at twice forty-pence,
Which vvhen the partie that had vvrong'd him savv▪
Thought t'was too great a fine for such offence,
Why then (quoth Kit) if I too much request,
Thou maist at any time kick out the rest.

32
Sic Iupiter [...]lim.

VVHen Siluio seekes a broad for Venery,
He sutes him euer in some strange disguise,
And like the Lapwing farthest off both flye,
That none his dwelling know in any wise:
Hath he not reason to be close and fearing,
That iustice giues for others good abearing?

33
Opinio maior veritate.

VVHat tell you Grosus now of Grammer rules,
That hath a Chequer-clarke so long beene bred,
[...]s good you question him of Mares, or Mules,
[...]s poze him in a thing he neuer read:
And yet your clyents stoope with cap and knee,
To some (God wot) as scuruey Clarkes as he.

34
Turpe lucrum Veneris,

VVIll in a wilfull humour needes would wed
A wench of wonder: but without a Stocke,
[...]hose fame no sooner through the street was spred▪
[...]ut thither straight our chiefest Gallants flocke:
Put case she's poore: brings she not chapmen on?
I hope his Stock may serue to graft vpon.

35
Fronti nulla fides.

CAntus, that woolward went, was wondred at,
Which he excus'd as done through meere cont [...]tio [...]
But who so simple ( Cantus) credits that?
Tis too well knowne thou art of worse condition:
And therefore if no linnen thee begirt,
The naked truth will proue thou hast no shirt.

36
Lucri bonus odor.

FAber, not fond or iealous of his wife,
(Though nere so faire) from no mans sight restrai [...]
For well he knowes t'would proue a hellish life,
Besides the want of that which oft it gaines her:
Taking no knowledge then they come for sinne,
Sayes, Please ye enter Sirs? my Wif's within.

37
Magnis [...]ors ausibus obstat.

MOunseir le Graund, is hence from London go [...],
On vrgent businesse that concernes him neere,
[...]nd more disturbs him but to thinke vpon,
[...]hen any suddaine chance that came this yeere:
Which might haue wrought his vt [...]er dissolution,
Had he not scap'd that scuruy Execution.

38
Curiorum Bacchanalia.

[...]Aulinus poasteth euery day to Powles,
But not to pray: that holds he out of fashion,
[...]rom whence returning, to some Tauerne troules,
[...]here of his sinnes he makes more due relation:
And calling most to minde the Scriueners band,
He then bethinkes him Domes-day is at hand.

39
Voluisse satis, si non datur vltra.

BEhold yon Greene-goose in his hauking suite,
That's booted still a month before he rides,
To vrge the reason were but vaine dispute,
Ther's no man liuing knowes all times and tides:
What can he more then pawne his scarf [...]e and swor [...]
And yet the Ostler will not take this word.

40
Quod amamus laudamus.

MArcus maintaines it boldly with his pen,
And will approue it by Philosophy,
That greatest Clarkes are not the wisest men,
(And therein shewes you many reasons why:)
Amongst the rest not least considerate,
Brings his defence from Tom the Coryate.

41
Suum cui (que) pulchrum.

[...]Osthumus not the last of many more,
Askes why I writ in such an idle vaine,
[...]eing there are of Epigrams such store,
[...]h, giue me leaue to tell thee once againe,
That Epigrams, are fitted to the season
Of such as best know how to make rime reason.

42
Fama Mendax.

REport thou sometimes art ambicious,
At other times too sparing couetous,
[...]ut many times exceeding enuious,
[...]nd out of time most diuellish furious:
Of some or all of these I dare compound thee,
But for a lyar haue I euer found thee.

43
Quid non [...]brieta [...]?

RVbin reports his Mistrisse is a Punck,
Which being told her, was no whit dismaid,
For sure as death (quoth she) the villain's drunck,
And in that [...]aking knowes not what he said:
T'was well excus'd: but oft it comes to passe,
That true we finde In Vino veritas.

44
Ex Nihilo nihil.

T'Wer wondrous, Niger should so long neglect
To take a Wife, either for wealth or wit,
But that t'was knowne he had some close defect,
Which from his very rising hindred it:
For what to women most content should bring,
Was flatly found in him to proue no Thing.

45
Nescit modum rationis expers.

VVHen late Bartellus wife began to breed,
She long'd for Crabs, and Dagger-Pudding­pyes;
[...]ext time on pickeld Oysters must she feed,
[...]ll which, and more, her carefull husbands buyes,
So oft she longs for sundry dainty things,
As all is spent er' she her Bastard brings.

46
Non penna, sed vsus.

CAius accompts himselfe accurst of men,
Only because his Lady loues him not:
[...]ho (till he taught her) scarce could hold her pen,
[...]nd yet hath since another Tutor got.
Caius it seemes thy skill she did but cheapen,
And meanes to try him at another weapon.

47
Pari iugo [...]ulcis tractus.

VVIL and his wife so well loue one another,
As oft their strife is which would first be dea [...]
Meane while (the better to partake with other)
Lye closely kissing all day long a bed:
For so their fancies both iumpe on the nick,
He cals her Cunny, she him little Prick.

48
Manus manum fric [...]t.

CAecus indebted, wants wherewith to pay,
Vnto mine Host; but doth therewith appeale
To his kinde Hostise, crauing longer day:
That with her euer yet did kindely deale,
For let her speake (quod Caecus) iust and truely,
She cannot say, but I haue payd her duely.

49
Opus & Vsus.

OPus for need consum'd his wealth a pace,
And ne'er would cease vntill he was vndone;
[...]is brother Vsus liu'd in better case
[...]hen Opus did, although the eldest sonne;
Twas strange it [...]should be so; but here was it,
Opus had all the Land, Vsus the Wit,

50
Posse non velle, virum nobilitat.

FEstus could finde in's heart to eat good cheere,
To weare rich garments, and conuerse with Ear [...]e [...],
[...]o reuell it with the best, and domineere
Amongst the choisest and most sweetest Girles.
But this (quoth Festus) feeles to him curse,
To finde in's heart, and cannot finde in's purse.

51
Vulgaria sperno.

SOme maruaile why these Epigrams I write,
To one proportions limit me confines;
As if I could no more nor lesse indite,
But iust the measure of so many lines.
To answere such as therein thinke I erre,
Spite of their spleene I will be singuler.

52
Dulce lenimen, miseriarum.

RAueus restraind of libertie, lies by it,
But therewith is resolu'd to take no care:
For Raucus reckons not who ere espie it,
So long as there are yet some chincks to share,
Let Fortune doe the worst that she can doe him,
If but his Doll, that dainty Duck come to him.

53
O tempora, O mores.

SAm sayes this new world differs from the old,
Who knowes not that? there's no man can deny it:
[...]ictuals were nere so deare, nor loue so cold,
The matter is, he wants where with to buy it.
But ( Sam) thou neuer yet couldst heare or see,
That beggers were more proud then now they be.

54
Regina paecunia quid non?

NVmmus subborn'd a Counsellor on his part,
Gainst Innocence that knew not what to speake▪
[...]ut free in Conscience had a cheerefull hart:
And yet constrain'd, his minde at length did breake
Vnto him, saying, Sir, you play the Poet,
That know the truth, yet will not seeme to know it.

55
Veniunt spectentur vt ipst.

VVHen yong Rogero goes to see a play,
His pleasure is you place him on the Stage,
The better to demonstrate his aray,
And how he sits attended by his Page,
That onely serues to fill those pipes with smoke,
For which he pawned hath his riding Cloke.

56
Sic ar [...] diluditur arte.

A Sarieant that a Seruingman arrested,
Bad him bring Bayle, or else to prison goe,
Which, to procure on's word, the man requested,
And left his Ring as in deposito:
The Saricant hauing staid till Sun had set,
Was forst (as Fortune would) to pay the debt.

57
Naturam Ducern sequi [...]ur.

MEstus growne dull and dead through discontent:
But if his Trull, that sees him sotted, say,
[...]ow cheere you Syr? or is impatient
[...]f her dispatch, and sweares she will not stay,
Oh, then hee'l rouze himselfe, and gins to fall
Vnto his busines, like a naturall.

58
Rediculae admirationis facetum responsum.

LAnius that late a load of Calues did bring,
Vpon his horse through Fleet street to his dore,
Was of a Studient thought so strange a thing,
As if he nere had seene the like before:
When boldly Lanius (looking backe) replide,
Ther's many a Calfe (Syr) doth on horsebacke ride.

59
Conscius ipse sibi, &c.

REader, perhaps thou think'st I aime at thee,
Yes, much: to meane a man I doe not know?
Besides I hope thou neuer iniur'dst me,
Then t'wer vnlikely (faith) it should be so:
But as by chance the blind-man takes the Hare,
So may I hit thee ere I am aware.

60
Male agens, odit lucem.

DOrus disdaines those verses he compos'd,
Should to the presse or publike view be broug [...]
Least greater matter be thereby disclos'd,
Then euer yet before was done or thought:
Prouided alwaies you may see him drunck,
Spend, sport, or spue, with any Shoredich Punck.

61
Inuisibilis forma.

MIstrisse Madrill weares euermore her maske,
Which makes the people very much admire;
[...]t none so saucy dares the reason aske,
[...]r contradict it since tis her desire:
For painted pictures, must (you know the guise)
Be alwaies curtain'd from the vulger eyes.

62
Mali corui, maelum ouum.

SQuinto that peasant, with his meager face,
Whose tongue is like vnto an Adders tayle,
[...]ust out of spleene these Epigrams disgrace,
And if you'd hang him cannot chuse but raile)
His reason is that old distemperd rage,
Who writing nere but once was hist from Stage.

63
Vsur [...]em damnat [...] vim patitur.

CRaesus a Gallant, but of no great wit,
Inueighes gainst Vsury and interest;
Main [...]ayning simplie that it is vnfit
Mens substance by such profit were increast:
But Craesus, talke no more, for I haue knowne,
When you your selfe haue put vp three for one.

64
Canis ad vomitum,

[...] that each night goes duely drunck to bed,
Forgets to pray vntill her [...]en is;
And hath next morning druncke againe and fed,
Then sweares as fast at whatsoeres amisse,
So much hee's mou'dat wagging of a haire,
As Dick dares damne himselfe fore morning pra [...]

65
Ictus Piscator sapit.

BRutus at length escap'd the Surgions hands,
Begins to frolick as if all were well;
[...]nd would not for the worth of thrice his lands,
[...]ndure the brunt of such another hell;
But leaues this farewell for his Phisicks hire,
The child that's burnt, for euer dreads the fire.

66
Contemptae i [...]cent artes.

[...]Oung Valentinus writes as many hands
As any Clarke within the Towne he dwels;
[...]e Latin, French, and Du [...]ch he vnderstands,
multis alys more then much excels:
[...]here's no man knows how Fortune yet may lift him,
[...]hough at this time he wants a shirt to shift him.

67
Caecus amor, caeca libido.

SEcretus in the night a drabbing goes,
That lurking liues by day-light like the Owle;
But then his lustfull lims vpon her throwes,
And nere lookes on her, be she faire or foule,
Or lewd, or loathsome, lam'd, diseas'd, or commo [...]
It onely likes Secretus shee's a woman.

68
Quorsum purgatio haec?

COrnelius thinkes it best he take purgation,
As well t'expell those homours that abound,
As to beguile some others expectation,
That for his pleasure pleaseth not be found:
I doubt Cornelius then will purge so long,
As hee'l not leaue himselfe a penny strong.

69
Tunica Pallio proprior.

TIburnus keepes a Tauerne neere the Fields,
Where Ba [...]chus fild with Nectar nightly sports,
And Venus pleas'd, with sweet perswasion yeelds;
Vnseene of Vulcan when as Mars resorts,
But to iumpe plainely to the point indeed,
T'is thought his Wife best serues the turne at need.

70
Stultorum Sapientia.

COrinus waxen poore deuised best
What Art or skill might next aduantage bring,
So many proofes his cunning had profest,
As could be fram'd almost on any thing:
At length resolu'd, his Countrie he for sooke,
And of his trauailes wrote a fustian Booke.

71
Non Brachia sed Nasus.

NIck being druncke one night disgrac'd his nose
Against the poast, he groping could not feele,
Nor how he hurt himselfe doth yet suppose,
But that his head was lighter then his heele:)
But Nick, if I might censure of thy harmes,
I thinke thy nose was longer then thine armes.

72
Faetido sic fla [...]u, turget superbia.

AS young Renaldo stood diuising best
To please his Lady with some pretty tale,
(Whose setled countenance there to addrest
And bashfull blushing did him then appale)
He therewith coughing, chanc'd to let a fart,
Which euer since hath dasht him out of hart.

73
Nec caste, nec cautè.

VVlcanus vowes to prosecute the law,
Gainst one that wronged his beloued Nell;
Whom for her part she neuer felt nor saw:
And how she liues that let her neighbours tell,
If she her cariage doe not closely beare,
Though he, her husband, once a Bankerout were.

74
Infamia, fama.

SArdinia swaggers, but with good report.
Though she preserue a morsell for her friend,
The course she takes is of another sort;
Then doth to Groomes or Wastcoat wenches tend;
For,(but her selfe excepted) shee'l be sworne,
The worst are Knights on Gentlewomen borne.

75
Nescis quò serus vesper vehat.

LIncus deuiseth as he lyes in's bed,
What new apparell he were best to make him;
So many fashions flow within his head,
As much he feares the Tailor will mistake him:
But he mistooke him not that by the way
Did for his olde Suite lay him vp that day.

76
Est mihi diua parens, &c.

OWinus wondreth since he came from Wales,
What the description of this Ile should be,
That nere had seene but Mountaines, Hils, and Dales,
Yet would he boast, and stand on's Pedegree,
From Rice [...]p Richard, sprung from Dick a Cow,
Be Cod was right gud Gentleman: looke ye now?

77
Nulli Thai negat.

LVcina likes not to be ouer coy
Amongst those friends that come in loue to greet her
For mirth and Musick euer was her ioy,
And therein failes she none that dares but meet her:
So firme her fancies doe on pleasures fixe,
As she is wholy made of Merry-tricks.

78
Matrimonium meritrici Pallium.

MArcella doth her daughter oft aduise,
She take example by her sisters fall,
Least worser danger should to her arise,
And may her credit in like question call,
Till she in marriage so her selfe aduance,
As may support it whatsoeuer might chance.

79
Simul & semel.

CAntus both wood and wedded in one day,
(Nor was it wondrous, as the case required)
For she with childe, no reason had to stay,
And he contented, lik't what loue desired:
Vntill he saw how soone her wombe did rise,
Which she excus'd, was now the common guise.

80
Bacchus triumphans.

COcus that quondum kept both horse and man,
And could haue tane what not? vpon his word:
Now walkes the Suburbs without Cloake or Wan,
And fares as Fortune pleaseth to aford;
More shame then pittie tis, a man would thinke
So great a portion could be spent in drinke?

81
Sequitur vestigia Matris.

[...]Idus too franckly brings his Wife abroad,
Amongst our Roysters of the deepest ranck,
[...] who should say she that awry hath troad,
[...]ll play the same, but not a worser pranck,
Vnlesse she iumpe so iust her Mothers mould,
As like to her shee'l proue as often sould.

82
Monstrum intus & extra.

MOnsieur Mendoza weares a nose notorious,
Not like the luster of each Malmsey nose;
[...]t such whose splendor is more glorious,
[...]en richest Rubies, or the reddest Rose,
Briefly the tenor, if I must di [...]elose,
Mendoza hath indeed a monstrous nose.

83
Par pari, referrs decet.

OLd Menedemus that would neuer wed,
But made his wenches serue in stead of men,
Is now at length of such a morsellsped
As quits his quondams with a Carde of ten;
For all those mungers did her most maintaine,
She now payes home with twice as much againe.

84
Quid cogit necessitas?

VVHen Luscus late beheld a proper Lasse,
And of her dainties had desire to taste,
Not knowing how to bring his sute to passe,
He vow'd to speede or hang himselfe in haste;
She, fearing Luscus would haue don't indeed,
Yeelds, more to saue his necke then serue his nee [...].

85
Ingentes, tollunt aminos.

QVint [...]s by nature was so hot and fierie,
As on the least occasion straight would draw,
And run himselfe into a Proeminiri,
[...]ith resolution, in dispight of law,
Vntill the Gaile for twelue moneth taught him diet,
Where (purg'd of choller) Quintus now liues quiet.

86
Parturiunt montes, &c.

PEtrus will bring forth Epigrams heereafter,
But I deliuered am: my paines are past.
[...]hen must his Muse be but my Muses daughter,
[...]ecause (you see) mine giues the name of last:
But Petrus meanes t'inlarge his Booke with blancks,
Fearing more labor, and more lines, then thanckes.

87
Furoris praecipitium.

IOsephus hath his learning quite forgot,
Yet, hence these Epigrams he headlong flings,
That by no meanes his fancy feedeth not,
They are such brutish beastly baudy things,
Was't not well aimd at, on so short a sight?
Few of your fooles doe alwaies iump so right.

88
Superbioe comes, inopia.

SVsan that whilome wore her gownes of sattin,
And far'd deliciously from day to day,
(Translated into French from out of Latin,)
Is faln at length into that foule decay
As all the meanes and mony she can win,
Will scarce procure the Spittle take her in.

89
Tempus ed [...]x rerum.

VVHen Mistris Win did first her wastcoat weare,
She scarcely could that cariage then main­taine,
[...] now on float her selfe a lost doth beare,
[...]h flaggs and top-sailes launching forth amaine:
Whose force in hottest fight exceeds so farre,
As dares encounter any man of Warre.

90
Asp [...]um nimis condimentum.

MOunseir Albanus new inuested is
With sundry suites and fashions passing fit,
[...] neuer any came so neare as this,
[...] ioy where of Albanus frollickes it,
Vntill the Tailors bill of Solui fias,
Diuerts his humour cleane to another byas.

91
Tobacco, vinum, Venus.

FOcus growne fat, liues like an Epicure,
And studies daily how he shall be fed,
That can no more your walkes in Powles indure,
But takes Tobacco as he lies in's bed:
Where belching (like a Boare) he cals for Sack▪
And only keepes a Whore to scratch his backe.

92
Mulus mulam fricat.

HOw comes it Mildred our next neighbours m [...]
That serues for wages scarce foure markes a ye [...]
Should goe so rich and gorgiously arai'd,
As to no little wonder may appeare?
Oh, t'is her Maister deales so like a brother,
As one good turne deserues to quite another.

93
Quis Ebrius laudat temperantia [...]?

SEuerus likes not these vnseasoned lines,
Of rude absurdities, times soule abuse
[...] all posterities, and their assignes,
[...]at might haue beene (saith he) to better vse:
What sencelesse Gull, but reason may conuince,
Or lade so dull but being kickt will wince?

94
Facies, non vxor amatur.

CAnutus knowne a man of substance plenty,
And growne a Grandsire to no meane a stocke▪
[...]ath wedded one suppos'd was vnder twentie,
[...]hom poorely he receiu'd but in her smocke:
That since for recompence a sonne hath brought him,
So old and able who would ere haue thought him?

95
Nobilitas ignota, ignobilis.

[...] boasts his Kin and Pedegree,
Are such as may compare with greatest Peeres,
Nor can your Coate by halfe so ancient be;
Before the Conquest knowne for many yeeres;
If that be ancient, which we doe not not know,
Then I conclude, his Gentry may be so.

96
Summis negatum stare di [...].

THarsus in Office beares himselfe as great
As [...] Bastard, who such labour won:
Or [...] himselfe that sate in [...] seate,
Or [...] said to rule the Sunne:
But so presum [...]tuous he forgets his calling,
As with young Ica [...]us I feare his falling.

97
Nonre, sed nomine Sponsus.

LVcina languishing through long dispaire,
That since her marriage-day ner'bred yong bones,
(And yet a Woman lusty, young, and faire,)
[...] now deliuered of two Boyes at once:
For which the Midwife prais'd her husbands skill,
Yes: true (quoth she) the man did his good will.

98
Vadas si inuideas.

MOmus, thy mallice I haue lookt for long,
And made prouision fit to entertaine thee;
[...]ut if thou guerdon my good will with wrong
[...]hy comming Ile preuent, and much disdaine thee.
My boord for bitter foes no meat affords,
Thou therefore shalt be forst to eate thy words.

99
Quam fallimur in certis?

IOcus in's humour weareth out the day,
Counting it sinne to take thought for to morrow,
And makes a iest when he should come to pay;
But pleads good earnest when he meanes to borrow.
Yet see how Iocus iests at length deceaues him,
That in the hole of Wood stre [...]t-Counter leaues him▪

100
Inequales trahunt Iuu [...]ncae.

CVrta nere mourn'd her husband being dead,
Because she was too young, and wanted wit;
But Curta since (the second time) hath sped,
With one as much too olde, and more vnfit,
Which (if you marke it) makes the prouerbef [...]
She that hath borne a Calfe, now beares a Bull.

101
Ambitio faeminini generis.

MIstres Matressa hopes to be a Lady,
(Not as a dignitie of late expected)
But from the time almost she was a Baby,
That hath your richest Gentlemen reiected,
But yet not dubd in present, as she should be,
Proues in expectance still, my Lady would be.

102
Amor non est acceptor personarum.

IVlia hath sworne to loue her Seruingman,
On whom she dares before her husband smile;
And enterchange those greetings now and than
As may the times and his mistrust beguile,
For Iulia thinketh it in conscience meet, (sweet
Who tastes the sowre, should sometimes feele th [...]

103
Vnus Diabolus dominatur intribus.

AScriuener and a Vsurer contends
Against a Sarieant, which performeth most:
Th'one sayes, he bindes; th'other his money lends
Then what (quoth they) remaines that thou shouldst
Yes (saith the Sarieant) if you note it well, (boast?
I can conduct men liuing into Hell.

104
Sublata causa tollitur effectus.

MOunseur Riero hath his wedlocke lost,
That gainst his credit proues a strong inuectiue:
Some censure this, and that; but by the most
It's found apparant that he was defectiue:
And therefore must he in a case so slender
Be forc't perforce his right and clayme surrender.

105
Aquila non capit muscas.

GRandus that great Colossus gins to learne him
The Rules that longeth to a cunning Clarke:
But saucy he's to thinke my lines concerne him,
Or any drunkard stumbling in the darke.
No Grandus, know, I write of greater men,
Thou art too base a subiect for my Pen.

106
Praestat otiosum esse quam male agere.

Vcres liues lazely, and loues her ease,
Medling with nought that toyle or labour brings;
[...]ut to be idle lesse doth Lucres please
[...]hen to be medling with the meanest things,
Which she accompts but as a veniall sinne,
Hauing (alas) no other commings in.

107
Quot capita, tot sensus.

SOme much commends your Humours ordinary,
Others doe more affect the louely Greeke;
But most extols our English Secretary,
No one can please all: all loue not alike.
Giue me that fellowes wit, whose follies Rime,
Was bare-arst pictur'd on the backe of Time.

108
Nititur in vetitum.

ASke Minos why he marries not, hee'l say
Because he will not liue at Rack and Manger;
Whiles he may take a snatch, and so away
In common corners, as a common Ranger;
Twere no great matter if a man should name him▪
Pish, bring him on the Stage you cannot shame hi [...] ▪

109
Vnusquisque suo sensu.

AS are my Epigrams no way precise,
Or curiously compact, but plaine indeed;
So wish I not the Reader, ouerwise,
To wrest or censure where there is no need,
But if thou wilfull wilt apply them to thee,
All that I say, is, much good may they doe thee.

110
Aliud simulat, aliud agit.

[...]Roface (quoth Fuluio) fil's the tother quart,
Nay, since w'are met, let vs not budge till tenne:
[...]hat's he that will not pledge me with a heart?
[...]ll this to any one dares say Amen,
But calling for a Iourden, steales away,
And leaues the reckoning for the rest to pay.

111
Serio, si Sero.

NO more carowsing Tomki [...], if you loue me;
When was there seene a ciuill woman drunke?
In any thing but this command or proue me:
Nay, then you'ld vse me as a common Puncke.
Faith Syr, I scorn't: nor care I for your Wine,
Giue me your money ere you haue what's mine.

112
Ede, bibe, lude.

COme on, sayes Mounseur Rake-hill, what shal [...] do [...]
Shal's kill a Sarieant, or go rob for treasure?
What hath thy stomacke most a minde vnto?
We ne're shall yonger purchase greater pleasure:
Liue still, and lacke? s' [...]ut, something wee'l intend,
They can but hang vs for't and ther's an end.

113
Moritur cum tempor [...] mutant.

SVperbus lookes no lower then the skie,
Yet is vnskilfull in Astronomie:
[...]is like he knowes for certaine he must die,
[...]ut would not see the place where he should lie:
Take heed Saperbus, may a number cry,
Thou be not damn'd for pride and villanie.

114
Nocturnae lu [...]ubrationes periculos [...].

[...]Lora gaines more by labor in the night,
Then can her husband purchase any way:
[...]hat would she not procure her if she might
[...]e so imployd' with businesse all the day?
That might be censur'd soone by him, or those
Who best the burthens of her labour knowes.

115
Sequentur tandem deteriora.

HAng't, a poxe on't (quoth Vincent) let it goe,
T'is not the most that I haue lost before,
He was a Rascall to abuse me so:
Spent I as much as he is worth and more
T'will not vndoe me: but (braue Vince) it will,
If you continue in this humour still.

116
Quod roget Natura [...]iat.

MAtilda growne to age, full fourteene yeares,
Betroths her selfe against her Fathers will,
And lesse the threatnings of her mother feares
To ioyne in wedlock, proue it good or ill:
Which to vndoe she scorneth with her heeles,
So much she now the pricke of conscience feeles.

117
Sic ars diluditur absen [...].

VVHen Ralph returnes each euening from a play,
He tells his wife he was at shop that while,
Which simply she beleeues and goes her way,
[...]hen laughes to see he could her so beguile
And come vpon her: but if all be true,
Ther's many ( Ralph) playes on her more then you.

118
Quis (que) sua vindicat.

MY Epigrams how euer poorely borne,
And at an instant hudled vp in hast,
[...]oe boldly yet the name of Bastard scorne,
[...]hat sauour not of stolne or borrowed taste:
Many haue father'd what they haue not knowne,
My comfort onely is, What's mine's mine owne.

119
Quaesola, magis errat.

YOung Mistris Rose to Pymlico is gone,
(A place I hope no City creature blames,)
But it's suspicious that she walkes alone,
And not in troopes amongst our London Dames:
Because the wicked tearmes it as a Bursse,
To meete and talke, but afterwards doe worse.

120
Facile obliuiscuntur maximi.

GAllanto fall's in rage this other day,
Missing a suite he thought was stolne, or sould,
But presently remembred where it lay,
For by his Page t'was peremptory told,
He knew before (which need no such vexation)
That that and more was pawnd the last vacation.

121
Audentes fortuna iuuat.

[...]Souldier once a Widdow would haue woo'd,
But being poore and loath to be deni'd,
[...]st not impart how he affected stood,
[...]ich she as soone thus censur'd as espi'd:
You may be valiant (Sir) but seeme vnlusty,
That either haue no weapon, or t'is rusty.

122
Exclamat Sydera sero.

[...]Oung Maister Pignus sweares he lesse indures
To deale with Brokers then so many Diuels,
[...]ich next to Baudes, and Panders him assures,
euen as bad or rather worser euils:
That more inflict (saith he) then sword, or dearth,
And therefore cals them very Diuels on earth.

123
Forma, bonum fragilè.

RVgosa waxen old hath broke her glasse,
And liues in hatred with her owne complectio [...]
Remembring but the forme it whilelome was,
Which when she lookt on gaue that sweet reflecti [...]
But now despayring, thinkes no christall stone▪
Can shew good count'nance that receiueth non [...]

124
Conscia mens quaeritur.

LYsanders wife nere ioy'd her harts content,
Since now this second time she prou'd with chil [...]
For well she knew the labour ill was spent,
That had her Husband secretly beguild:
But most to thinke (which is the worst shee f [...]
The worlds suspicion when it comes to yeeres.

125
Amica omnibus, inimica nulli.

NEd with his first espoused neuer thriu'd,
The reason was her vnalluring feature,
[...]ut now at length with such a wench hath wiu'd,
[...] is compos'd another kinde of Creature:
Who faster then a man bespeakes her wares,
Deales all she can to free her Husbands car [...]s.

126
Fatinecessitas.

VVHen Taurus plagues the people through his might,
Hee'l still alledge the law shal beare him out;
[...]hough conscience knowes t'is neither iust nor right,
[...]et threats by law to bring the same about:
But Taurus for a Cuckold's pointed at,
I wonder Taurus hath no law for that?

127
In caud [...] non in capite.

SIlla in rage hath sworne to leaue the law,
That will not halfe suffice to beare his charge,
Such takings in a Tearme he neuer saw,
And little reason hath to spend at large,
Were not his wife of Clients better sped,
Silla had long ere this beene dead, or fled.

128
Cynicus.

NA [...]ure hath fram'd Fastidius like a Dogge,
Of that vnhumane shape, so true a Dogge
As he's reputed for a very Dogge,
Or rather one more biting then a Dogge:
Who since by due he is so deem'd a Dogge,
It must ensue that he will dye a Dogge.

129
Aliquid bonum propter vicinum bonum.

VVHen Borus with his betters [...]its at Board,
He vomits straight his humours bitternes,
[...]nd will exceptions take at euery word:
[...]lthough it poyson proue to more or lesse,
Who patient must perforce therewith partake,
Not for his owne, but for his Phillis sake.

130
Tam notus vt nasus.

TOM takes it as a pride that I should name him
Within the Circuit of my Bookes precinct;
[...] intercepts me, with, I can not shame him,
[...] if he knew my meaning by instinct:
For thus, hopes he, the more a man rayles on him,
The more he will in time bestow vpon him.

131
Theatrum licentia.

COtta's become a Player, most men know,
And will no longer take such toyling paines;
For heer's the spring (saith he) whence pleasures flo [...]
And brings them damnable excessiue gaines,
That now are Cedars growne from shrubs and sprig [...]
Since Greenes Tu-quo (que) and those Garlicke ligs.

132
Sola meamecum porto.

SOme, that my lines haue madded, make report,
What er' I write is all by imitation;
Others, of whose abuses I make sport,
Say, that I want more matters variation,
Or that from borrowed-wit I seeke my fame,
Let them haue patience, I'le pay each his shame.

133
Equitare i [...] arundine longa.

[...]Oane loueth not this iesting with edge-tooles,
That oft were wont to hurt her vnawares,
[...]nd therefore meanes to deale with none but fooles
[...]frich inough) how blunt, she neuer cares;
Though well 'tis knowne her iesting's too too euill,
For shee is able conny-catch the Deuill.

134
Maximus Ignotis.

GOrgonius brags what wonders he hath wrought,
Tickling himselfe with selfe-conceit vaine-glory,
[...]sin what fray or skirmish he hath fought:
[...]o strangers whom hee meets hee'l preach a story,
But what thou art Gorgonius well I wot,
'Tis best thou tell it them that know thee not.

135
Audi, cerne, tace.

FOrtune (it seemes) respects not honesty,
Nor enuyes any man that doth her scorne;
For Tassus seem'd her honest friend to be,
And yet his Fortune is to weare the Horne,
Which kindely he puts vp and will not blow it,
Because his foes, to spite him, shall not know it.

136
Contra vim durare noluit.

PArnella pines away with discontent,
And of mis-fortunes deepely doth deplore her▪
Deeming the powers no way indifferent,
Her younger sister should be match before her:
And herein will the case no longer smother,
For since shee is no wife shee'l proue a mother.

137
Peccatum vetus, paenitentia nou [...].

[...]Agus, with's wit, at length was ouer-reacht,
Who hauing won a Widdowes chastitie,
[...] more her credit then his owne impeacht,
[...]her with childe through importunitie,
But since supposing all things done and ceast,
[...]s forst to pay an hundred pounds at least.

138
O stulte hac nocte, &c.

[...]Varus wisht his Coyne and cou [...]les store,
Might in a moment yeeld him so much more;
[...] saw behind him in a looking glasse,
[...]worthlesse wish at length was come to passe:
[...]ut then came Death that did the Miser smother,
[...]nd gaue him equall ioy of th'one as th'other.

139
Stultus varietatis auidus.

ZOilus expects my verses more should vary,
To please the Readers eare with choise digress [...]
Tut Zoilus, know, I am not mercenary,
Besides, it is no badge of my profession:
Yet few haue writ more Epigrams then I.
Who sayes the contrary, I say, they lye.

140
Tandem sese [...]urgit in al [...]um.

DIck swore he doubted not to mount ere long,
And be no more the man he whillome was,
For he would liue or lie in prison strong,
Which to make good he quickly brought to pass [...]
That hauing rob the vestry at Al-hallowes,
Was forc'd within a fortnight mount the gallo [...]

141
Non intus sed extra.

A Citizen (whose wife would sometimes sport)
Spying her tricks, first grieu'd, and then fell sicke,
To whom his friends would oftentimes resort,
And aske him where his paine did ake or pricke;
No where (quoth he) yet well I shall be neuer,
The paine I feele, is long of my bad liuer.

142
Vt populus Nanus.

NAnus, though dwarfish, hath a diuellish wit,
Whose tongues the harbenger, that gets him diet,
[...]nd therewith striues all companies to fit,
Though what he wants, hee'l boast his gold shall buy it:
Aske how he liues, hee'l tell you straight (with oathes)
By trickes, Tobacco, strumpets, and good cloathes.

143
Amalo ad peius.

MIlo with's swearing makes absurdities
Amongst the vulgar, seeme as verities;
For that (thinks he) a man esteemes his oath,
Whom otherwise to credit would be loath:
But now such is his chance whereat hee's grieu'd,
The more he sweares, the lesse he is belieu'd.

144
Quae vetera non curamtu.

MY Epigrams escap'd the Printers hand,
Eyther on Stationers stal's regardles lye,
Or must on Posts, for pennance, nayled stand,
That euery one may gaze on, passing by;
Which to preuent, and therewith purchase pelfe,
Tom Coriat solde the Bookes he made himselfe.

145
Non honos, sed onus.

A Knight that bought his Order, straight grew ill,
complaining much that he had caught mischance
[...]isitions could not cure him with their skill,
[...]or he himselfe with all his strength aduance:
He straind his backe so stooping to the ground,
As he nere since could lift vp twenty pound.

146
Dignum, quod merito.

[...]Ammon the Vsurer hath such a wife,
As layes it on, though he himselfe doth starue;
[...] is resolu'd to liue a Ladies life,
[...]e whilest his pelfe may her in pompe preserue:
Mammon, this curse pursues thy wealths abuse,
She spends for pleasure what thou gots by vse.

147
Patris aegrotans.

DEgo grew sicke because his Dad left giuing,
And of consumption would haue dy'd out-right▪
Had not the Churle the sooner left his liuing.
Whereby Mas Dego since was dub'd a Knight.
Vnhappy sonne, to draw such vitall breath,
That Phoenix like liu'st by thy fathers death?

148
Facile parta, facilius locata.

TWo Lawyers opposite in two mens cases,
Rayld at each other in most vehement sort;
With many bitter termes and foule disgraces,
As those that hard them, blusht at such report:
Next night they meeting, laught at their past-ia [...]
And what they got, spent freely at the Barre.

149
A malo ad peius.

A Country Farmer had a friend at Court,
That for his Coine procur'd him to be Knighted
On whom his neighbours now giues worse report,
Saying, that since all house-keeping is slighted,
Therefore, in truth, they did him much vnright,
To spoile so good a Clowne for such a Knight.

150
Vt tempora, mores.

A Pander once appareld wondrous braue,
Was askt why Fortune fauor'd such a knaue;
Who said, by Fortunes-wheele he did not clime,
Our riches comes (quoth he) by this bald time,
Wherein we free our selues from paines and care,
Liuing, like Barbers, by mens losse of haire.

151
Non Verbera, sed verba.

TWo Schollers late appointed for the field,
Must (which was weakest) to the other yeeld;
[...]he quarrell first began about a word,
[...]hich now should be decided by the sword:
But ere they drew, there fell that alteration,
As they grew friends againe with disputation.

152
Vera filia matris.

A Gentle Virgin sprung of gentle blood,
Much on her birth and reputation stood,
Who prou'd so gentle to Gentillitie,
As she was got with childe apparantly:
For if men gently would put kindnesse on her,
She neuer would vngently put it from her.

153
In fundis Parsimonia.

CAius hath vow'd it for this yeere at least,
To sup no more in Tauernes at such charge,
But in his priuate Chamber meanes to feast,
And send for victuals by his men at large,
Tut, what should Caius in such cost excell,
When Egges, and Butter will suffice as well?

154
Suum cui (que) pulchrum.

CVruus being askt why he such Roses wore,
Vpon his durty Calue-skin-cobbled shooes?
[...]nd euermore in summer Sockes forbore?
His answere was, he could nor will, nor chose:
But Curnus know such Roses are vnmeete,
To help the sauour of thy stincking feete.

155
Post dulcia finis amarus.

IEnkin a Welchman that had suites in law,
Iournying to London chanc'd to steele a Cow,
For which (poxe on her lucke, as neare man saw,)
Was burnt within the fist and know not how:
Being askt if well the lawes with him did stand,
Was haue her now (quoth Ienkin) in her hand.

156
Ignotae, nulla Cupido.

FLorella, fal'n a yeare before her time,
(To salue the forfeit of her Mayden head
That must no longer for promotion clime)
Prostrates her selfe vnto a Vintners bed,
Where Gallants knock each midnight at her do
To taste the Iuyce that had no Bush before.

157
Nemo nascitur Artifex.

[...]F these (quoth Potus) proue not things admir'd,
When poore Mechannick toyling Water-men,
[...]all with Apolloes Muse be straight inspir'd,
[...]o leaue their Sculls, and deale with Poets-pen:
Let Hercules be henceforth tearm'd a Dwarfe,
And Paules-Church-yard exchang'd for Puddle-Whar [...]e.

158
Praui magis p [...]osunt.

[...]Ionus the Scriuener by procurements gets
More in a month then keepes him all the yeere,
[...]owing those Mountibanckes that mony lets,
[...] forfeit-pledges (proue they neare so deare:)
Let Baudes (quoth Pignur) beg, and Brokers fall,
It's too well knowne, he gaines the Diuell and all.

159
Mala crescunt deteriora.

PHilo takes Phisicke euery spring and fall,
Presuming thereby to prolong his life,
But neuer notes the danger therewithall
That comes by nigling with his neighbours wife,
Poxe on't: but last yeere shauen to the chin,
Must now againe this tearme anew begin?

160
Tandem saturata Cupido.

IEta that whilome Lady-like did let it,
Vpon the wheele of Fortunes highest top:
And scorn'd to feare mischance (if Gold could let [...]
Now prostrate keepes a poore Tobacco-shop,
Where wonted paines to win the golden fleece;
Of each, is purchast but at pence a piece.

161
Foeminae ludificantur [...]irs [...].

[...]Inde Katheren to her husband kist these word [...],
Mine ownesweet Will, how well doe I loue thee?
[...]rue (quoth Will) the world no such affords,
[...]nd that it's true I durst his warrant be:)
For nere heard I of Woman good or ill,
But alwayes loued best her owne sweet Will.

162
Timet, seipsum noscere.

[...]Acus doth daily to his Doctor go,
As doubting if he be in health or no;
[...] vvhen his friends salute him passing by,
[...] aske him how he doth, in courtesie,
He will not answere thereunto precise,
Till from his Doctor he hath tane aduise.

163
Cignus per plumas A [...]ser.

PVt off thy Buskins ( Soph [...]eles the great,)
And Morter tread with thy disdained shancks,
Thou think'st thy skill hath done a wondrous feat,
For which the world should g [...]ue thee many thancks▪
Alas, it seemes thy feathers are but loose,
Pluckt from a Swanne, and set vpon a Goose.

164
Fingit quod Foemina vellet.

CLara halfe angry with my Bawdy song,
Straight tolde her husband she had done with [...]
Fie Clara, I should suffer much more wrong,
Ere I would tell what I haue done with thee;
But Clara, should I speake my conscience plain [...]
I know thou wouldst it were to doe againe.

165
Per linguam [...]audam.

FRisca saith faine she would be rid of me,
And in that scorne she takes a wondrous pride:
Frisca, hearke hither what Ile say to thee,
Thou art too rancke a Iade for me to ride:
And therefore prethee ( Frisca) doe not raile,
For feare they venom'd tongue disclose thy ()

166
Dupliciter beatus.

A Freeman once of London made a Knight,
Would in that Order still maintaine his Trade,
[...]nd trafficke as before, taking delight
[...]o say, his wealth would grow when Titles fade,
T'was wisely thought vpon, so let it be,
Thy sonne shall braue it for himselfe and thee.

167
Sic surd [...] canimus.

A Welshman vvas to an Italian tolde,
That could his language perfectly dispute,
Which he beleeu'd as Gospell vncontrold,
And with Italian gins him straight salute,
Th'other, admiring as a man dismaid,
Answer'd in Welsh he knew not vvhat he sayd.

168
Conscia quae nota.

LExander cald Carina Hackney-woman,
True: borne at Hackney; that was no disgrace:
Oh yes, she doubts you deem'd her hackney-commo [...]
Alluding more her person then the place.
For why? her conscience tels her vnrequired,
How like a Hackney she hath long beene hyred.

169
Praestat latrare quam mordere.

OLd Chub for cheapnes chose to liue in Commons,
But not to study more then Kitchins law;
[...] harkning when the Cooke a manger summons,
[...]nd that's Chubs chiefest care, to cramb his maw,
Oh no, I lye: he keepes in cleanly case,
The Pumpe, the Priuie, and the Pissing-plac [...].

170
Dignior faemnia marito.

[...]Aius shifts not so oft his Seruing men
As doth his wife exchange her Chamber-maid [...],
[...]e one but notes him iealous now and then,
[...]'other (should seeme) her secrets more vpbraids,
The poore effect whereof consists in this,
He but the shadow, she the substance is,

171
Senibus voluisse satis.

OLd Caecus that a young wench sought to win▪
Protested he would proue an honest man,
Sauing this one prouiso putteth in,
You may not barre his feeling now and than;
For though his stomack doth your flesh dispise,
To sup the broth would Caecus yet suffice.

172
Quid non verba suadeant?

SExtus halfe salu'd his credit with a iest,
That at a reckoning this deuise had got,
When he should come to draw amongst the rest
And saw each man had coyne; himselfe had not,
His empty pocket feeles, and gins to say,
By Iesu Syrs, here's not a Crosse to pay.

173
Nemo [...]isi per vultum notus.

CAcus constraind on suddaine to vntrusse,
Turn'd vp his podex in the open street
But hid his face: and to them answerd thus
That passed by, and told him t'was vnmeet,
Ther's none (quoth Cacu [...]) by mine arse that knows me,
How beastly els soeuer they suppose me.

174
Posteriora placant.

DRuso his Darkis had not kist all day
Which he intreated she would beare in minde,
That longing at her lips prouok't him stay:
But therewith tolde her t'was the more behinde,
Till fit occasion might desire fulfill)
As much behinde (quoth Darkis) as you will.

175
Sat, satis esse diues.

C [...]im, since his fathers death, is cleane vnapt,
To follow now his former course began,
That better Sutes to be in Veluet wrapt,
And seemes to braue it out with any man;
Why may not Clim such garments boldly weare?
Being left more money then an Asse can beare.

176
Aliquid in nubibus.

SCorus giues reckonings most irregulate,
For Sallats, thus: for Fruit and sweet-meats, so much▪
But that is commonly when Mistresse Kate
Sups in the Flower-d [...]-Luc [...] with Syr Iohn owe-much:
Who, if his credit be [...]o longer tooke,
Will morgage him the Mannor of Goe-looke.

177
Nil violentum perpet [...]um.

[...]Haedra transform'd from being a Chambermaid,
Ruffled a while with Robes of richest price,
[...]ll of a Bastard she was lately layd,
[...]d had foretold, her Lord did her intice,
But then she carelesly repuls'd, and gon,
Fell for the Seruing-groomes to seize vpon.

178
Formidat Stollidus vmbr [...]s.

[...]Oung Tregoose would by no meane [...] seale that Bill
Which worse (saith hee) then Drabs or Dice en­thrall men,
[...]edging this to be the onely ill,
cause t'was written, Be it knowne to all men,
For wer't (quoth Tregoose) to my Vather knowne,
Hee'l thinke me sure some Bastard, not his owne.

179
Huic fronti fides.

CReta scornes any but her owne complexion,
Wishing her spotles liues integrity,
Were but as free from faults and foule detection,
As is her face from filthy Mercury:
'Tshall nere be said but Creta for her part,
Delt plainely vpwards without tricks or art.

180
Prosunt modo, verbera verbis.

MVsco would alwayes vse to beate his maides,
Vnlesse t'were little Susan that came last,
Not caring which his seruice most vpbraids
With deeds of darkenesse that are done and past,
But here the question is how Susan delt,
That she with Childe his weight yet neuer felt.

181
Si hodie tibi, cras mihi.

A Scorn [...]full Dame inuited ouer night,
To come and dine next morrow with a Knight,
Refus'd his sudden bidding with disdaine,
To whom this message was return'd againe,
Since with so short time she could not dispence,
To pray her come as that day twelue month hence.

182
Vt populus mundus.

PLancus complaines the world's still worse & worse,
Whether he meanes the people or his purse,
Or both in one, or one in both combines
But thus I thinke, he rather it defines,
Like as with people there's lesse conscience found
So yeelds his purse, of late, more lighter sound.

183
Occulta tandem prodiunt in lucem.

AS Curios Page lay sleeping in the Porch,
That had beene watching th'other night before,
A seruingman in th'intrim stole his Torch,
Which after missing made him much deplore:
To whom quoth some that saw him in such plight,
Peace boy, thy Torch (no doubt) will come to light;

184
Adte (Scabiose Poeta▪)

SCalpo hath got an itch in Poetry,
With which conceit doth oft his elbow scratch,
And sooner hopes to come in print hereby,
Then any young beginner of his match:
As cast-off Chamber-maides conuert to Drabbes,
So may thy itch in time breake out to scabes.

185
Ebrius plus vitium t [...]ahit.

CEstus must sometimes sollace with his Punck,
Which he accounts more needfull then his meat,
[...] nd holds it Phisick to be often drunck,
[...] both which mesteries hee's so compleat,
As seldome with the one hee'l dine or sup,
But will be sure to cast the other vp.

186
Magnus persona, paruus Crumena.

GRandus growes great, yet liues he poore with all
How meane you then? hee's fat and well set forth?
[...]rue: but t'is strange his Incomes are so small,
[...]man of that huge show and seeming worth,
How could his belly halfe so big haue beene,
But that it showes he had great commings in?

187
Quos amat, ampleclitur.

FRanciscus loues to feast men at his table,
Sparing for nought that mony can procure,
All which he thinkes too little and vnable,
Their least of loues or friendships to allure:
Yea Master Francis; vse you so to doe?
Prethee feast me and haue my friendship to.

188
Bis monitus, armatus.

MIstris Mallina vowes shee'l neuer mary,
Whiles some suruiue; that her am [...]nds should m [...]
Hath she not reason to be wise and wary,
That would so great aduentures vndertake,
Thrice to be got with childe by younger Broth [...]
That swore to wed her, and are matcht with oth [...]

189
Clericus sine libro.

PRomus the Puritaine though clownish, knowes,
Atricke of tenne which he from Clarkes hath found,
[...]ho to the Tennant in possession goes,
[...]o proue him if for purchase hee'l compound:
And thus doth Promus like a Tumbler toyle,
Whiles greater Dogges expect to share the spoyle.

190
Incerta, somnia.

[...]Orastes dreamt he was so fortifi'd,
In spight of Fates, with fauour and protection,
[...]s through the Streets he did in triumph ride,
[...]nd proudly rule the rost by his direction:
But waking since, with passions most extreame,
Hee's vext that all this while he did but dreame.

192
Ad Th [...]mam Coriat. Nuper admirabilem.

VVOnder of writers (for so once thou wert,)
What pitty t'is thy fame no longer lasted,
That such of note in trauell and desert,
Like time-lesse Blossomes should so soone be blaste [...]
For thus farre boldly may thy Booke compare,
How ill so euer sure t'was passing rare.

193
A [...]eundem.

VVHat fame at first exceeding worths in [...]
Had thy late trauels and aduentures wroug [...]
Wherein thou simply didst put downe that vvoma [...]
Which to the Court a Deuonshire white pot brough [...]
Hers for reward vvas quickly done and past,
Thine on Record will euer extant last.

193
To Iohn of Powles-Church-yard.

HAile iocund Iohn made all of Iouizance,
And midst the Garden of the Muses dwellest,
[...]hou best deserues my verse should thee aduance,
[...]hat with those curious complements excellest:
And Galla [...]s gret'st with that abundant grace,
Vssh'ring thy flat-cap fore thy fleering face.

194
To the guilty Coxcome.

[...]Ease gald-backt Gull to question what or whence,
Or who I am that did these lines compose,
[...] thou not priuately with shame dispence,
[...] needes must haue it publisht to thy nose?
Will any foole suspect what no man thinks?
Knowst not a [...]. the more it's stird it stincks?

195
Improbè quae parta, periunt.

GIgas that iourneth daily to and fro,
Mongst Courts and Clarkes his causes to retai [...]
Will no aduantage, time, or toyle, foreslow,
To bring him damn'd and detestable gaine:
All which and twice as much will not defray,
The charge that Gigas (with a pox) must pay.

196
Duplex pudor, Impudentia.

SCruto the Scriuener that had lost his eares,
Whereon his locks he much more pendant wea [...]
Hath late the like or worser Cousnage wrought,
And to the Pillory againe is brought,
Where now the Hangman (nought suspecting) [...]
Why sl [...]e quoth Scruto, must I still finde eares?

197
Quaere aliud diuerscri [...]m.

POntus in's iourney trauelling towards Lyn,
Grew wondrous weary and of force would Inn [...],
Where he an Ostler cals, who cryes, Anon,
But staid so long that Pontus would be gon:
With that he heard within one laugh, and say,
Prethee make haste the Cockney will not stay,
But Pontus cryes againe, and would not passe,
Vntill mine Hoast himselfe put vp the Asse.

198
Si quae latent, peiora puta.

MVrus when first he maried with a Whore,
Was truely tearm'd a cloake to sheild the raine,
But he his cloake since that time neuer wore,
Because the world should doe him right againe▪

199
Mens hominis nouitatis a [...]ida.

YOung Prodigus new fashions still inuents,
And ought that ancient is will nought esteeme,
What others fancies likes least him contents,
But all things needs will out of order deeme;
Which is the vrgent cause I vnderstand
Why Prodigus did sell his fathers Land.

200
Ne Sutor vltra, &c.

A Cobler and a Curate once disputed,
Before a Iudge about the Kings Iniunctions;
Wherein the Curate being still confuted,
One said, t'were good if they two changed function [...]
Nay (quoth the Iudge) I thereto should be loth▪
But and you will weele make them Coblers bot [...]

201
Magnis, minora a grata.

[...]Ewde Lalus, came to me sixe Crownes to borow,
And swore (God damne him) he would pay't to morow,
[...]ew his word as currant as his band,
[...] therefore gaue him but three Crownes in hand,
[...]his I to part with, he to take was willing,
[...]nd thus he gaind, and I sau'd fifteene shilling.

202
Domina, non Sponsa perita.

Ou wisht me to a wife fayre, rich, and young,
That had the Lattin, French and Spanish toung;
[...] thankes I told you, I desir'd none such,
[...], one language might be tongue too much,
[...] loue not I the learn'd? yes as my life,
learned Mistresse, not a learned wife.

203
Amicus incertus in re certa.

COquinus vow'd all kindnesse that he could,
I should command and finde him as I would,
No sooner thankt I him, but presently
He crau'd my help, which I could not deny:
But then he swore since I his friend so stood,
Sfoot he would dye the death to doe me good,
It chanst I claim'd his vow in time of neede,
But to performe it he proou'd dead in deede,

204
Artes laudantur et algent.

PLancus the Poet liues but poore and bare,
Yet nere was knowne a man, of miccle spendin [...]
For Puddings still were wont to be his fare,
Tut, Bad beginnings may haue better endings.

205
Sudor serui pascit dominum.

LArgus hath Offices so great so many,
As he can scarce directly serue in any,
No matter Largus, thou look'st to the gaines,
And tak'st the profit who ere takes the paines:
Thy Clarkes sufficient are to doe thee grace,
That on thy Gate this Emblem well may place.
A Penman prostrate at an Idiots foote,
(This being the motto) Sir, my mam shall doo't.

206
Vulgaris vt nomen.

PAruus whose purse at recknings nere appear'd,
Caries a conscience blacker then his beard,
Which to the world doth boldly testifie,
[...] not so damn'd as yet he meanes to dye.

207
Signum ventris, Apetitus.

VVHen trustie Tom his Maister durst reproue,
That once a wench besides his wife did loue▪
He angry seeming at his bold report,
Requires him shortly after in this sort:
Calling to minde how much beyond all meate,
His man would most these butterd Parsnips [...]ate,
He caus'd his Cooke according to his wish,
To dresse that onely and no other dish;
Which Tom (suspecting nought) deuoures apace,
And neuer ceased to debate the case.
But fell vpon them like a hungry Boare,
That had not fed himselfe a day before,
But n [...]xt meale, findes the like and falls aboard,
Eating what then his stomack could afford,
[Page] [...] now presuming of some other change,
[...] finding Parsnips still; thought then t'was strange,
[...] once againe (quoth Tom) I meane to eate them,
[...], to his Maister (sweares) he will repeate them:
[...] still that dish was drest accordingly,
[...]ich when as Tom the fourth time did espie,
[...] to his Maister goes to know the meaning,
[...] onely this, and other meates restrayning,
[...] (qouth he) you askt me this last day,
[...] I for change of pasture went astray:
[...] Butterd Parsnips you so much desire,
[...] strange you then should other meates require,
Sir, (quoth Tom) I now picke out the sence,
[...] Parsnips teach me that experience.

208
Sic Daemon Daemona fallit.

ZAnthus arrested, did the Sarieant pray
He might not straight vnto the Counter goe;
But thence perswades him in some Tauerne stay
To send for Baile, and fees on him bestow:
Whereto the Sarieant freely condiscends,
And being come they call for Wine at large,
Which Zanthus seeing, doth inuite his friends
That past along, to make the greater charge:
For nought he meant (nor could he ought defray,
Though seeming takes it to himselfe alone,)
But when the reckning came at length to pay,
Draw that haue coyne (quoth Zanthus) I haue no [...]
[Page] [...]he Vintner vexed, swore he should not part
[...]rom thence that night, till he were satisfide▪
[...]ary (quoth Zanthus) euen with all my hart,
could desire I might with you abide▪
[...]he Sariant daunted in this case to see him,
[...]as volens nolens forc'd discharge the shot,
[...]or being now growne late he thence must free him,
With coyne or credit where he would or not,
But well yong Z [...]nthus knew they would not faile him,
[...]hat did next morning from the Counter bayle him▪

211
Rarus, qui publicus olim.

OF all the Toms that euer yet were nam'd,
Was neuer Tom like as Tom Coriat fram'd:
Tom Foole may goe to schoole, but nere be taught
Speake Greeke, with which our Tom is richly fraugh [...]
Tom Asse may passe, but yet for all his [...]ares
No such rich Iewels as our Tom he weares:
Tom tell-troth is but froth, and truth to tell,
Of all Toms our Tom beares away the Bell.

212
Similis cum simili.

[...]OM went to th'Market where Tom met with Tom,
Tom asked Tom, What Tom [...] how far'st thou Tom?
[...]ho Tom, I Tom? yes Tom (quoth Tom,) you Tom:
[...]ell God a-mercy Tom: how doe you Tom?
[...]ayth nere so well (quoth Tom) since Tom was Tom,
And thus was the greeting past twixt Tom and Tom.

213
Foras parcus, domi prodigus.

VVHiles Caius doth remaine beyond the seas,
And followes there some great important sute
[...] lands bears neither Oats, nor Beans, nor Peaz,
[...] yet his wife beares full and faire growne fruit;
His Lands wants occupiers to manure them,
But she hath store enough, and can procure them.

214
Postrema grauiora.

INcul [...]us comes to Towne to learne new fashions,
And will no more these rusticke imitations,
But not resolu'd as yet what course to affect,
Intreats some stranger-friend would him direct▪
Who first my Gull to Birchin-lane doth cary,
To sute himselfe: from thence to th'Ordinary,
Where, after many a pledge with full carouse,
He needes must visit next a Baudy [...]house,
B [...]t there Incultus gan anew to quaffe,
And euer since was forc'd to leaue his staffe.

215
Timidus gloriosus.

[...]Orbeare t'attempt my patience if you loue me,
For I shall draw vpon my deerest friends:
he least occasion on the earth will moue me,
[...]nd then t'will be too late to seeke amends.
[...]ill you be quiet whiles I warning giue?
[...]hat? yet againe prouoke me to this geare?
[...]rike but once more, as surely as I liue
[...]e be thy Priest though't cost me nere so deare;
[...], now remember you haue drawne my blood,
[...]elpe me, some honest man, or I shall sowne,
[...]eigh ho, hee'l neuer doe me so much good:
[...]eare witnesse Gentlemen, he struck me downe,
[...]hich to reuenge (oh that my blood would cease)
[...]rue as I liue I'le binde him to the peace.

216
Fronti [...]ulla fides.

VO [...]us hath vow'd to doe me many fauors,
And by no meanes I must him gratifie,
But all his oathes and protestations [...]auors
Of nought but periur'd vile hypocr [...]sie:
Well, for this trick lle nere haue more to doe
With one so wicked and a Wit-all too.

217
Dura [...]d [...] sordida surgunt.

VVHen Nut browne Nancy newly made a Brid [...]
(That vs'd before to feede her fathe [...]s swine
Should more (sir reuerence lucke) be Ladifi [...]
And all remembrance of what's past resigne:
Thereto preferd, alas poore pigges quoth she,
Now I am gone, who must your mistresse be?

218
Cedant arma Nummis.

[...]H spare you Syr, you offer great disgrace
To wish me sell my Rapier? fie, t'were base:
[...]arshall Gentleman of my profession
[...] should be prostitute to such condition?
[...]ooner part from forth the house I dwell
[...] leaue my pleasure I esteeme so well:
Rapier is my harts sole excellence,
liues chiefe propagation and defence:
[...] blade Syr, Ile besworne is such a one
[...]arther came from hence then Prester-Iohn,
[...]et if it needs will please you looke vpon it,
would but borrow some small siluer on it.

219
Clericus sine libro.

VVHen Crassus in his Office was instal'd
For sums of money, which he yet doth ow [...]
A Clyent by the name of Clarke him cal'd,
As he next day to Westminster did goe,
Which Crassus hearing, whispers thus in's eare,
Sirra, you now mistake, and much doe erre,
That henceforth must the name of Clark forbeare,
And know, I am become an Officer,
Alas, quoth he, I did not so much marke,
Good Master Officer that are no Clarke.

220
Durum telum necessitas.

COquus with hunger, pennylesse constrain'd,
To call for meate and Wine three shillings cost,
[...]ad suddenly this proiect entertaind,
[...] stead of What's to pay, to call mine hoste;
[...]ho, being come, intreateth him discusse,
[...]hat price the law allots for shedding blood,
[...]hereto mine Hoste directly answeres thus,
[...]was alwayes forty pence, hee vnderstood,
So then (quoth Coquus) to requi [...]e your paines,
Pray breake my head, and giue me what r [...]maines.

221
Amalo ad p [...]ius.

IN elders time, as ancient custome was,
Men swore in weighty causes by the Masse;
But when the Masse went downe (as others note)
Their oathes were by the crosse of this same groat:
But then the crosse was likewise held in scorne,
And by their faith their common oath was sworne,
Last hauing sworne away all Faith and troth
God damne me, now is vs'd their common oath.
And thus by custome kept from times gradation,
They loose Masse, Crosse, and Faith, to finde dam­nation

222
Habet & Rosa spinam.

A Cater that of late some Wild-foule bought,
Incontinent vnto his Master brought;
[...]ho smelling at them neere about the rump
[...]ayd out, thou knaue these sauor of the pump;
[...]is man that was a rude and saucy loute
[...]ounds, answeres, Syr, swell you them thereabout?
Smell your fayre Lady there, and by your fauour,
You'l finde a foule if not a fulsome sauour.

223
Omnia probato, quod bonum est teneto.

MY Epigrams dispatcht, abroad I send them,
To good and bad, that but a looke will lend th [...]
If any proue so kinde that can befriend them,
When they shal heare or know t'was I that pend th [...]
Euen so▪ if otherwise, Ile not defend them,
Much lesse (which were a shame) I should comm [...]th
Then Reader (if thou wilt) I prethee rend them▪

224
V [...] Case [...]s Li [...]er.

[...]Eywood affirmes, and prooues in some degrees,
That one may well compare a Booke to Cheese:
euery Market some buy Cheese to feede on,
euery Mart some men buy Bookes to read on,
sorts eat Cheese, but wherefore? there's the question,
[...] poore for food, the rich for good disgestion:
sorts read Bookes, but why? will you discerne,
[...] Foole to laugh, the wiser sort to learne:
[...] sight and sent of Cheese to some is hatefull,
[...] sight and sence of Bookes to some vngratefull:
No Cheese there is that euer pleas'd all feeders,
No Booke there is that euer pleas'd all Readers.

Liber Secundus.

1
Dulce, quod v [...]ile.

AN honest Vicar riding by the way
(Not knowing better how to spend the day;)
[...] sing vnto himselfe Geneua Psalmes.
blindman hearing him straight beg'd his almes,
[...] whom (quoth he) with coyne I cannot part,
[...] God thee blesse (good man) with all my hart:
Oh, said the blind man, greater is our losse,
When such as you doe blesse without a crosse.

3
Sequitur inuidia famam.

TWo Madams once were striuing for the wall,
Both standing on their tearmes of worthinesse:
The one but young (howbeit rich withall)
The other ancient, though of substance lesse,
Said, soft and faire, till time hath tane fruition,
Your Ladyship is of the last edition.

4
Quo se vertat, nescit.

CVcullus hath disguis'd his former feature,
And like Pythagoras transformed shape,
Is now (me thinks) become another creature,
Halfe French, halfe English (pox on such an Ape)
That imitates all fashions farre and neere,
Though gainst the haire he buyes them ner'e [...]

5
Credit colori,

BAitus beleeued for a simple truth,
That yonder gilt-spurre spruce [...]nd veluet youth,
Was some great personage, or worthy wight,
[...]ntill one told him he was but a knight.
A knaight (quoth Battus) vaith I chud a zworne,
A hod not beene lasse then zome Gen-man borne.

6
locabunda, ludibund [...].

MIstresse Finetta for her ready wit,
Is much admired, and belou'd of many:
But this one fault of hers confoundeth it,
She iesting will deride and scoffe at any:
Which by an ill accustom'd vse comes on her,
And yet ther's one that playes as much vpon her.

7
Sequitur fortuna nefanda.

CRaicus through craft redeem'd his credit crackt,
That forc'd to leaue his bankerout occupation,
Clos'd with a widdow e're he was contract,
Whose riches once more rais'd his reputation.
That now mid'st fortunes floating to the brim,
Craicus keepes strumpets, whiles his wife keeps hi [...]

8
Non omnibus dormit.

SAy that Carina keepes a vitling house,
I hope 'tis for no vulgar men of meane resort,
That basely will a cast of Cannes carouse,
Or at some game at Cards but idly sport:
Tis knowne her weekely risings and downe-falling
Equals her state with some of higher callings.

9
Multum principia suaden [...]

VVHen Kate with Country Clyents courted is,
She seems more coy then any new beginner,
[...]iuing, as if she knew not how to kisse,
euer saw the man that yet could win her:
But all to draw the Gulles more eager on,
[...]hat shares her gaines with Tinkers being are gone.

10
Mag [...]is non est mo [...]andum.

E [...] how Silenus walkes accomplished,
With due performance of his fathers Page,
[...]kes backe of purpose to be honoured,
[...] on each sleight occasion gins to rage,
[...]ou villaine, Dog, where hath your stay beene such?
Quoth he, the Broker would not lend so much.

11
Fingit Adultera castam.

NIsa, who from her window glaunc'd her eyes,
Saw Mopsus come as fast as foote could trot:
For ioy whereof, vpon her bed she lyes,
As who should thinke she slept and saw him not.
T'was very strange, vnlesse she ment herein,
Her eyes should not be open to her sinne.

12
Filius terrae.

LVcas that hath beene long conceal'd of late,
Vpon the pennance of some purchast blame,
Liues now at Court in most heroicke state,
(But you must note t'is by another name:)
Call him not Lucas now, least you disclose him,
Nor aske whose sonne he is, for then you pose hi [...]

13
Turpe est cum foenore lucrum.

Anus hath liu'd this last vacation,
Vpon his wiues bare charge without all reason,
[...]o since she knew at first her occupation,
[...]e saw worse takings in a Lenton season.
A man would thinke thou shouldst her more be­shrow,
That did so many burdens vndergoe.

14
Criminibus celare studet sua crimina Maechus.

VVHen Cacus was accufed of a Rape,
For stealing secretly to his maids bed,
hardly could the doome of law escape,
[...] he not thus the matter coloured:
That tooke his oath (nor did he sweare amisse)
He went not into her bed, (for t'was his.)

15
Non videmus manticae quod in tergo est.

NAso could wish the people would forbeare,
To scandalize his more then honest N [...]n:
Who for this twelue month will expresly sweare
He hath not found her false with any man:
If otherwise she doe, he knowes not what,
Why should poore Nafo be so pointed at?

16
Luditur [...]rte.

MArke but the semblance of Fucatas face,
How to the life her picture doth excell,
For louely feature, sweet and comely grace,
(Surely the Painter hath done wondrous well:)
But here's the doubt (both faces made by art)
Which you would choose to be the better part.

17
Sp [...]liatis arma supersunt.

GRand Captaine Quid, of coyne is quite bereft,
Whose Page was wont his purse & coyne to carry,
[...]ow neither Page, Purse, Coyne, nor ought is left,
[...]ue what he's forc'd to pawne at th' ordinary.
[...] Thus squint-ey'd Fortune partiall in her gifts,
[...] Puts men of note oft-times to needy shifts.

18
Duo i [...]nguntur in v [...]u [...].

VVHy was yong Lancel [...]t, Lynsey-wolsey nam'd,
Whose Ancestors were of one Linage fram'd?
[...]t that t'was knowne Wa [...]ling and fridaystreet,
one coniunction coplatiue did meete.

19
Anguis in he [...]ba.

HIlus hath hid himselfe this yeere and more,
Not in respect of feare to shew his face,
But for he rashly in his humour swore,
The Sessions-house should no more sift his case:
But if you'l needes the reason vnderstand,
He hath beene burn'd already in the hand.

20
Labor impr [...]bus omnia vincit.

CLogo will needs be knighted for his lands,
Got by the labours of his fathers hands,
And hopes to proue a Gentleman of noate,
For he hath bought himselfe a painted coate.

21
Magni constabi [...] parua vo [...]upt [...],

HAnd off sir Saucebox, she's no meate for groom [...] ▪
Or common wights of b [...]se borne parentage:
as, your leane expence fits Ale-house roomes,
[...]at with Maid-malkin holdeth equipage:
Because sir Tristram late intrcated me,
You therefore thinke to doe as much as he.

22
Quantum mutatus ab illo.

VVOuld any deeme M [...]sses now the man,
That whilome was not worth a woodden can [...]
[...]ubtlesse the Dunce in some thing doth surpasse,
his red Nose is still the same it was.

23
Quifuit a [...]te P [...]des.

THe case is alter'd with Mercutio,
Since his preferment to that Noble man,
What er'st he hath beene, boots not now to know,
Those times are chang'd you see, what's then wasth
I dare presume Mercutio doth forget,
That euer he a Bill in Paules did set.

24
Omnibus hoc vitium.

PRu that had patience to haue borne with any,
And lou'd plaine-dealing (witnesse all that kn [...]
Is now vndone by bearing one too many,
So that you see plaine dealing ouerthrowes her▪

25
V [...]rijs mutata figuris.

Ettis length hath left her old profession,
[...]And closely coucheth in a Sempsters shop,
[...]ich may the burden of her late transgression,
[...]h lesse suspect support and vnderprop:
To such as knowes her not, she and her wares,
For perfect purenesse with th' Exchange compares▪

26
Plus quàm prudentia nummus.

Mongst our later knights, sir Thomas knew it,
[...] By common practise more then cunning wooing,
[...]t being rich inough he could not rue it,
[...]icke should take him with his Doll a dooing.

27
Hoc omnibus datur.

CVt [...]bert our Cobler can no more forbeare,
To take Tobacco, then to liue vnknowne:
He drinks all whiffes at least, and learnes to sweare
By Heauens; his oathes and humours are his owne:
But adding hereunto a pot or more,
He stands to nothing which he spake before.

28
Premit altum corde.

VVleanus guil [...]y, doth himselfe perswade,
Some of these Epigrams by him were made:
But dares not tell you wherein for his life,
Least men should play on him, as on his wife.

29
Velle placere s [...]t est.

MIstresse Parnella holds it requisite
To keepe more maides at home then need re­quires
well to please her husbands appetite,
for abroad she like exchange desires:
For thus they ab [...]ent best content each other,
That else should be but baudes to one another.

30
Pocule i [...]gnutur [...]mici.

A Health, saith Lucas, to his loues bright eye,
Which not to pledge were much indignitie:
[...]u cannot doe him greater curresie,
[...]en to be drunke and damn'd for company.

31
Redit orbis in or [...]em.

YOng Codrus, Land lord to his fathers rents,
Which happy time (long look't for) did expire
Addresseth him with those habiliments,
As least bescemes the sonne of such a Sire:
And thus he gallants it some yeere and more,
Vntill his Tenants thrust him out of dore.

32
Oculus Adulter.

OF all the pleasures that our London yeelds,
Caluus commends the walks about Moore- [...]
There's many reasons that prouokes him to it,
He must be looking though he cannot doe it,

33
Mutauit fortuna genus.

RVfus was reckoned once a man of might,
That would seuerely domineere and swagger,
[...]ring the stoutest of the Guard in fight
[...] single Rapier, or at Sword and Dagger:
Who would not muse that such a great commander
Should be translated to a lousie Pander?

34
Vi [...]escit vulnere Venus.

[...] Vsan's well sped, and weares a veluet hood,
As who shall know her breeding hath been good:
[...] rcason she should rise once in her life,
[...]at fell so oft before she was a wife.

37
Voluptat is prae [...]ium dolor.

VVHat cause had Liuia to leaue the Citie,
Where she so flourish't vntill now of late?
Oh, ther's a fault escap't (the mores the pi [...]
Which the Church-wardens will not tollerate:
And yet the yeere before they could dispence,
Taking no knowledge of the like offence.

38
Et manibus p [...]dibus (que) leuis.

LAys of lighter mettall is compos'd,
Then hath her lightnesse till of late disclos'd,
For lighting where she light acceptance feeles,
Her fingers there proue lighter then her heeles.

39
Faeminae ludsficantur viros.

LVce had a secret longing to goe see
Her childe at nurse, for that she dream'd t'was sicke;
[...]nd would by no meanes pacified be,
[...]ill she had seene her pretty little Dicke:
Full little knowes her husband (silly groome)
Who by this match e're midnight takes his roome.

40
Fallentem fema [...]efellet.

[...]Riscus gaue out he went to Pr [...]ster-Iohn,
Presuming to haue purchast three for one;
[...]t that t'was knowne, which did him sore beguile,
[...]iscus had tane the dyct all the while.

41
Dominatus seruilis.

FEll foughten Furio hath now met his match,
And is seuerely sent vnto the gaile,
For blurting at Mas Constable and his watch:
Who bids away with him, admits no baile:
As who shall know hee's now the Kings peace-make
Although the last yeere was but Kennell-raker.

42
Par pari.

BAl [...]us (too blame) runs in his Laundresse score▪
And will not pay her scarcely once a yeere,
But then his shame is twice so much the more,
For she hath paid him truely to a haire.

43
Sic vos non vobis [...]ellera fer [...]is ones.

HEard you in what surpassing rich aray,
Young Roger ruff [...]ed on S. Georges day?
T'was pitty more then spite it should be knowne,
That none of all those garments were his owne,
So that in stead of what report did scatter,
Hee simply was non-suted on the matter.

44
Praestat videri que esse.

CLitus with Clients is well customed,
That hath the Lawes but little studied,
[...] matter Clitus so they bring their [...]ees▪
[...]ow ill the case and thy aduise agrees.

45—
ortus nouu [...] vrbe Bri [...]tannus.

VVHo braues it now as doth yong Histrio▪
Walking in Pauls like to some Potentate,
Richly replenisht from the top to [...]'h toe;
As if he were deriu'd from high estate:
Alas, ther's not a man but may descry,
His begging trade, and bastard faculty.

46
Iuueni, quid curua senectus?

SIlla hath got a wife that's wondrous old,
But 't is well knowne he woo'd her for her gold:
I hope her maides are yong, and serue for hire,
And that's as much as Silla doth desire.

47
Castus erat vul [...], &c.

KNow you not Criticus our Cities Mule,
That haunts the harbours of iniquitie?
[...]er like a Beadle of disordred rule,
[...]asheth at lust, to cloake his villany:
Cruicke, 't is not your lookes (I dare assure you)
Can feare the surgeon that of late did cure you▪

48
Plus Maechus omnis amat,

[...]Eace, weepe no more (sweet S [...]) and all is well,
say I had found thee false, thinkes thou Ile tell?
[...]o by this iron and steele, which plainly showes it,
[...] honest Wit all is no Gull that knowes it.

49
Fugit huc i [...]ris (que) pe [...]itu [...].

TObi [...] hath euery tearme great suites in hand,
But sits at home like lohn indifferent;
His wife hath law enough to vnderstand,
What by Ioint-tenant and In- [...]le is ment,
Haue not our Clarkes with fees beene faine to woe her
And for bare knowledge put their cases to her?

50
Omnes querunt sua.

THis obseruation seemes (quoth F [...]sco) strange,
Why merchants walk in pa [...]les, & knights th'exchange
Belike the one seekes those their debts should pay,
While [...] th' other goes to craue a longer day.

51
Quicquid oritur inoritur.

ZOnus our neighbour, and his spouse are parted,
True demonstration of her whoorish hate,
[...] could she not haue beene so stony-hearted,
[...]o leaue her husband for a stragling mate:
But then the statute ( Zonus) sets thee free,
Thou didst not banish her, she fled from thee.

52
Qnàm partus ventrem sequitur.

RAlph hath an office in reuersion bought,
But rues the time that yet no wi [...] hath wrought▪
[...]ntent thee ( Ralph) for wealth to let it passe,
[...]ou art no worse foole then thy father was.

53
Non omnibus dormit.

VVHat reason is it Omphida should yeeld
To any man that's but a stranger to her?
Thinkes he at first assault to win the field?
Tut let him doe his worst, that worst can doe her:
Had there but colour beene for such intent,
She might allow your weakest argument,

54
Mors vt vita ita.

LEno lyes sicke, and to the Doctor sends,
Who bids him looke for what he least intends
And being oft to make his will requested.
Away (saith Leno) I will dye detested.

55
Tunc tua res agitur, &c.

A Iealous Marchant that a Saylor met,
Ask't him the reason why he meant to marry,
Knowing what ill their absence might beget,
That still at sea constrained are to tarry?
Sir (quoth the Saylor) thinke you that so strange?
T'is done the time whiles you but walke th'exchange.

56
Ingeniosa Venus.

Foed [...]s hath got his neighbours wife with childe,
And yet hath not her husbands bed defil'd,
For why the plot within Moore-fields was wrought,
From whence a place was for that purpose sought.

57
Sine crimine nemo.

GVido hath goodly lodgings, which he lets
To Knights and Ladies, of the better sort,
Nor careth he how little gaines he gets,
So they be honest, and of good report:
But maugre all the meanes that may be try'de,
Guido's braue house will still be baudifide.

58
Nec vultus indicat virum.

DIcke in a raging deepe discurtesie,
Cal'd an Atturney meere necessity.
The more knaue he, admit he had no law,
Must he be flouted at by euery daw?

59
Iugum suaue patientia.

MInos a man of much impatience,
Proues himselfe Cuckold in his owne defence;
[...]nd further doubts of greater danger fearing,
[...]tends to prosecute the good abearing:
His reason is, because he would seeme loth
To be cornuted, and bumbasted both.

60
Sat saltem sic habeatur.

RAlph saies, this rabblement of new made Knights.
Makes Coaches deere, & Chandlers sell their lights,
[...]t scarce a Seruingman the more is fed,
[...] Foote-boyes onely bring their Sirs to bed.

61
Dant otia ludum.

YOung Maister Newcome, late of th'Ins of Court,
Hath newly laid aside his Littleton,
And for his pleasure deignes no other sport,
Then these vnsauoured rimes to seaze vpon:
Which hauing read, he comments on the weather,
How iumpe his law and learning met together.

62
Citò parata Venus.

LEt Mistresse Su be stirring nere so soone,
She'l not be ready vntill after-noone,
Nor scarcely then: for why this sommer season,
The least Thing makes her sweat beyond all reason.

63
Quem suspicaueris, ipse.

[...]Vco is fled, more for his credit sake,
Then to be burdened with so base a deed:
[...]ould he (thinke you) such trifles vndertake,
[...]auing that kindred, and so little need?
Damn'd might he be that euer meant to doe it,
Had not his whoore, or somthing vrg'd him to it.

64
Mala crescunt deteriora.

SOto is lately gone to Sturbridge faire,
Whose little takings makes him halfe dispaire:
[...]were good some friend of his would tell the mome,
[...]is wife hath had takings too much at home.

65
Non caret effectu quod voluêre duo.

COnstant Renaldo, who can but commend thee,
That still one Mistresse in reuersion seruest?
She could doe little, if not least befriend thee,
With gleaning licence for so long a haruest:
Gleaning said I? nay more, to mowe her Corne,
And catch the Hare whiles others blow the Horn

66
Enecat amplexu nimio, sic Simia foetum.

CAll Danus knaue, he straightway draws his swor [...]
And makes you proue as much, or eate your wor [...]
But if you call him honest Rogue▪ or Iew,
He hugges you then, for giuing him his dew.

67
Si nihil attuleris, ibis, &c.

PLanus, an honest Swaine, but monylesse,
Besought a Lawyer to be good vnto him,
Who eyther ( gratis) must his cause redresse,
Or promise what he neuer meant to doe him,
Being asked why he carelesse lingred it,
Made this reply: Ex ni [...]ilo nihil fit.

68
Semel & semper.

CElso but newly wedded, doth repent,
And meanes to be diuorc'd incontinent:
[...]ut, hang it ( Celso) since tis done and past,
As good proue Cuckold at the first, as last.

69
Form [...]sa facies.

FIne Mistresse Foetida perfumes her selfe,
With sweetest odours that she can deuise,
Which she preferres before all worldly pelfe,
That nought auaileth when her beautie dies:
But this dispaire is very death in thinking,
That one so faire should haue a breath so st [...]king.

70
Sapiat qui vendit oportet.

[...]Anus doth iesting vse Equiuocation▪
Which he alludes as doubtfull words of Art,
To hide the colour of his occupation,
But to the Diuell he beares an honest hart.

71
Consilium post factum.

ASke not Vincentio now when things are past,
Why he so often sported with his Puncke,
[...] wherefore so much hath beene spent in wast;
[...] As good you told a tale to one that's druncke:)
Let it suffice, he hath consum'd it all,
And as you see, walkes like the prodigall.

72
Ne sutor vltra crepidam.

PHilippus flouteth at these ragged rimes,
That much distasting, taxe not these his times:
[...]ndeed I iudge him much more better seene,
[...]n other trades that he hath trained beene.

73
Mole ruit sua.

QVesto that quaint and briske Italian,
When first his trade for Merchandize began,
Would so much vndertake more then his owne,
(I thinke of purpose to be ouerthrowne)
For when t'was thought his fulnesse did abound,
Euen then he brake for seuenty thousand pound.

74
Parturiunt montes murem.

DEgo will draw, and stoutly stand vnto it,
Vpon the vtmost of his words brauado,
But being vrg'd on equall tearmes to doe it,
He basely pockets vp the bastinado.

75
Degeneres animos timor arguit.

MOnsieur Montanus is no little man,
Of vnapproued valour to his foe,
Perswade, or wooe him with what words you can,
Hee'l be reuenged, all the world shall know:
But when hee found one with his wife in bed,
For feare of knocks he durst not shew his head.

76
Vilescit diues auarus.

RVfus is wondrous rich, but what of that?
He liues obscurely, like a water-Rat,
[...]nd his apparell, vvhich hee seldome buyes,
[...]re such as Hounds-ditch, and Long-lane supplies.

77
Mal [...] parta, male paeriunt.

OLd Collins sonne is newly come to age,
And may dispend fiue hundred markes a yeere
But wanteth wit to holde his heritage,
Which hath beene euermore his Vncles feare:
Because his father got it by extortion,
And therefore ill to be a Woodcockes portion.

78
Habet & musca splenem.

MOpsus maintaines that bankruptship lesse mou [...]
Then such a slaue as for his wiues sake loues [...]
Yet well the Wit-all woteth though it grieue him,
His tonuge might starue except her Tayle releeue [...]

79
Olim haec meminisse dolebit.

GRuntus lies groaning of a grieuous gout,
And would giue thousands to be soundly cured,
But all the cunning that his coyne findes out,
Cannot expell those paines so long endured:
Oh Grunto, thou hast liu'd so vnrepenting,
As scarce two hels sufficeth thy tormenting.

80
Matrimonio Patrimonium.

MVsco, that alwayes kept with policy,
What he had scraped [...] since his infancy,
Scarce one yeere wedded (for he needs would mary)
Hath taken Ludgate for his sanctuary.

81
Duplex Iniquitas.

NOw yea and nay, quoth Mistresse Temperance,
You are to blame to be so vainely giuen:
Cannot your eyes vpon a woman glance
But they must couet? sooth you should be shriuen:
Fye, that you'l sweare so rashly by your troth,
Truely I would not doo't but for your oath.

82
Non omnia possumus omnes.

VVHo sayes Al [...]ides hath no wit, they lye,
His place and office proues the contrary,
Though t'was not meant he should more vnderstand
Then might concerne him to subscribe his hand.

83
Sumus omnes deteriores.

COrnutus boasteth of the debts he owes,
As who should thinke his credit then was such:
[...]ut all his substance valued now, God knowes,
[...]mounts not to the twentieth part so much:
Tis to be thought, because his vvife growes old,
And hath lesse doing now a thousand fold.

84
Cani facile inueniendum Baculum.

MAdam Ventoza can no longer frolick,
She is so troubled with a sore winde-cholicke,
[...]hich to the standers by may lesse appeare,
[...]ause her fyesting-Cur is still so neare.

85
Aliud simulat, aliud agit.

YOung Mistresse Ioyce her husband doth solicit [...]
To hire a Garden-house neere to the fields,
Which with her Gossips she might weekely visite,
For something must she haue that comfort yeel [...]
Pray God this Bower of priuate recreation,
Proue not a place of common occupation.

86
Quae placuit Domino nupta est ancilla sodali.

MAdam Rugosa knowes not where to finde
One Chamber-maid of ten to please her [...]
But yet my Lord so likes their comely car'age,
As hee preferre [...] them to his men in mar'age.

87
Crede quod habes & habes.

LOrellos wife is lately brought to bed,
As lucke would haue it, of a goodly boy,
The hopefull issue of her maidenhead,
And onely Iewell of the fathers ioy:
Then who would doubt the time, or once but note it,
When it's as like him, as himselfe had got it.

88
Mendici mendaces.

PAndorus spends the day by telling newes,
Of such his trauels as will make you muse:
Nay sir, beleeue it, hee'l discourse at large,
How should he else be fed at others charge?

89
Aeger, cui chara libertas.

BRisco that gallant yongster keepes his bed,
As faining to be sicke, but wot you why?
Not of an ague▪ not an aking head,
No burning feuer, nor French malady:
Tush, none of these can halfe so much molest [...]
As yonder flat-cap foole that would arest him.

90
Qui modò rusticus, olim.

PO-lo peckes vp a pretty proling trade,
That hath him prouder then his maister made
But yet when all is done, the world mistakes him,
For 'tis not's money, but the Taylor makes him.

91
Ab Equis ad Asinos.

BRutus that braue and compleat Caualier,
(Who but of late in [...]leetstreet flourished,
[...] thought no pleasure or expence too deere)
[...] now how soone the case is altered:
As that constrained to forsake the street,
He hath betane himselfe vnto the Fleet.

92
Furor armae minis [...]rat.

[...]Agus hath studyed long to breake a iest,
Vpon these rimes he doth so much detest:
[...] can you blame him? well he may be chiding,
[...] hath so often spurgal'd beene with riding.

93
Dubitat mens conscia cornu.

LEt Iealous Ralph but reade of Capricorne,
Or simply of the signe that's in the Ram,
He straight way thinkes you tax him with the horne,
And thereon haue compos'd some Epigram:
If Ralph on euery rime the worst will conster
It must conclude, in time hee'l proue a monster.

94
Volucrem sie decipit a [...]ceps.

Hydrus the Horse courser (that cunning mate)
Doth with the buyers thus equiuocate,
Claps on his hand, and prayes he may not thriue.
If that his Gelding be not vnder fiue ☞

95
Quod mora tardat, abest.

[...]Vscus hath long since learned his Accidence,
And now turn'd Sexton (Clarke I meane at least)
[...]ight yet for age more further farre commence,
[...] lost his time wherein he was a Beast.
[...]or why his vather kept him still a Calfe,
And would not weane him at twelue yeares and halfe.

96
Perdat qui caueat Emptor.

NOr lesse meant Promus when that vow he made,
Then to giue or'e his cousening Tapsters trade,
[...]ho (checkt for short and frothy measure) swore,
[...] neuer would from thence forth fill pot more.

97
Humilis iam surgit in altum.

THe world is well amended with sir Hugh,
Since from the time he was a shepheards swaine,
And little dreamed then (I may tell you)
He should haue beene one of the knightly traine,
But (for his substance answeres not his will)
As good haue dream'd, or beene a Shepheard still

98
Post dulcia finis amarus.

WHat griefe it was Grace had no better fortune,
But that Bride-well must her disgrace importun [...]
And which is worse, if worse it might perplexe her,
The Beadle comes behinde her backe to vexe her?

99
Frustra sapit qui fi [...]i non sapit.

[...]Anthus, that wise and cunning Sophister,
Lyes now in Limbo for a small offence,
[...]ho when he came before the Officer,
[...] not one word of wit to free him thence,
Why thus it fares, when he should best dispute,
The Diuell, or some ill Planet strikes him mute.

100
Vsus promptos f [...]ci [...],

[...]His makes Menalcas muse aboue the rest,
To see how quaint my Lady is adrest,
[...] from the girdle vpwards would he sweare,
[...] doth the shape of very man appeare.

101
Humilis prostrata quadrante.

FIne Mistresse D [...]lia defies the man,
That proffers lesse to her then golden fees,
What thinke you her some common Courtizan,
That will her credit with each Lobcocke leese?
In faith sir no, but ere you shall goe hence,
She vvill for once accept of eighteene pence.

102
Qu [...]m bene [...]otus amor.

SHould Spruso leaue the wearing of his muffe,
His golden night-cap, and his double ruffe:
He would be still the same he was before,
For halfe the Parish knowes he loues a ()

103
O infoelices quos fata seq [...]untur iniqua.

POntus is posting hitherwards a pace,
To dine with diuers that in Fleetstreet meets him,
But see the lucklesse chance of such a case,
As soone as he alights, the Sergeant greets him:
So that the burthen he should haue defraid,
Is wholy now vpon mine Hostesse laid.

104
Cucullus non facit Monachum.

SIluanus is become so pure and holy,
As he accounts all mirth but idle folly:
Aske him wherefore, he giues you ghostly reason,
But then his whoore comes neuer out of season.

105
Cres [...]it amor pretio.

HOw like you Dorcas in her deepest Ruffe,
Seemes she not now as proper as the best?
[...]ou thinke you may command her, marry muffe?
[...]he scornes the motion, fough, that were a iest:
Because she sold her wares so cheape of late,
You thinke they should be still the selfe-same rate.

106
Senibus voluisse satis.

[...]ESop must yeeld when Rodop will ride,
And take no knowledge where, or who's her guide
[...]et could the wizard wish her more in sight,
[...]nce she at Braynford lodg'd this other night.

107
Nocte latent mendae.

VVHat meaneth Rosamond to walke so late,
When no man can discerne her face or fea­ture▪
(But by her habite may preiudicate,
She is some faire, or rather famous creature:)
Oh good Sir vnderstand, t'is in the darke
When many a good man mistakes the marke.

108
Natura paucis contenta.

MEcus is now become a frugall Sire,
That spends no more then nature doth require;
And yet his wife will proue a Traueller.
Although but once a yeere he lay with her.

109
Fortuna multis nimium dedit.

NOw fie vpon thee Coward Nemius,
That oft hast puld thy Ladies slippers on,
Yet still wer't bashfull, not so venturous,
As once so much her leg to looke vpon:
Were I thy father, and thou heire to me,
I would for certaine disinherit thee.

110
Hic laqueos tendit, qui laqueo moritur.

VVHo euer held Mendoza halfe so wise,
To haue attempted such an enterprise,
As had not Tyburne soone preuented it,
Mendoza would haue learn'd but too much wit.

111
Sic transit gloria mundi.

I Pray sir, did you note on Sunday last,
How richly Rubin was apparelled?
Well may he be compared to a blast,
Or vnto one that's metamorphosed:
For one next morning, ere the day did dawne,
All that he wore, and more, was laid to pawne.

112
Post ga [...]dia luctus.

A Ye me (quoth Amy) who would ere haue though
So great a mischiefe should arise of nought?
Which, had she knowne, ere she began to swell,
Each yard of pleasure should haue prou'd an ell.

113
Noctes ai (que) dies patet atri lanua Ditis.

The times are waxen dead with Dalila,
Who since the Tearme hath felt but little sturri [...]
Then was she sought to more then Helena,
When Gallants gallopt with their Coaches hurring:
But now shee speakes with all that please to call,
Lo, thus her trade doth tearmly rise and fall.

114
Linguam vis nulla domabit.

MVns skill in horses doth so much excell,
As no man liuing breakes them halfe so well:
And yet one Filly quite comptroles his arte,
He neuer backs her but she breakes his hart.

115
Fronti nulla fides.

GAllus that greatest Roost cocke in the rout,
Swels now as big as Bacchus did with wine,
[...]ike to a Hulke, bearing himselfe about,
[...]nd bristling as a Boare or Porpentine:
Tis not his lockes that makes him looke so [...],
For all men knowes he weares a Periwig.

116
Roganti dabitur.

[...]Arcus stood musing, maugre all his might,
Where he should goe to lodge this other night,
[...]till the Beadle vnawares came on him.
[...]d volens nolens thrust a bed upon him.

117
Dat census Honores

T'is plainly knowne that our young knight, sir Ad [...]
Had his beginning from an ancient name,
And (though not rich) may make his wife a Madam,
That brings her dowry to maintaine the same:
Say, that the Herald cannot blaze him forth,
Must Knight-ship therefore be of no more worth▪

118
Tremuit sub pondere Cymba.

HAd not Formosa very foule ill lucke,
Who [...]e stooping simply but a rose to plucke,
Made to the hearers that so loudly knowne,
Which neuer yet before report had blowne?

119
Negat o [...]cula gratè r [...]ga [...]a.

[...]Riscilla proues most dainty o [...] a kisse,
When of a stranger she intreated is,
[...]ord, how she simpring fits, and minceth it!
[...] very deed sir, shee'l not eate a bit:
What, would you haue her by and by suspected,
That for a Whoore hath beene so long detected?

120
Coitum, non oscula la [...]da [...].

VVHen Kester courted Kate but for a kisse,
She coyly told him, that he aim'd amisse:
[...]ou maist beleeue her ( K [...]ster) what she said,
[...] halfe the parish knowes she is no maid.

121
Calum non animum mutat,

NAy fie, how strange you make it Mistresse Iane,
That will not know your quondam tryed friends,
Remember since you lodg'd in Cart-her-lane:
Shall former kindnesse merite no amends?
I say no more, well you may change your name,
But once a Whoore, you should be still the same.

122
Purtus ventrem sequitur.

MAud being mou'd at foureteene yeares to ma [...]
Said (were she tall inough) she would not car [...]
T'were good her sister but so wise had beene,
That had a Bastard [...]re she was fifteene.

123
Di [...]es quis stultus habetur?

TIs true that Simon (simple though you thinke him)
Knowes how to execute his fathers trade,
[...]hich (no dispraise) may with that substance link him
[...]s quickly shall amend what nature made.
Doe not your most fooles thriue exceeding well,
That haue but wit inough to buy and sell?

124
Hoc aliquid nihil.

GVido hath gotten very goodly suits,
That of his labours are the onely fruits,
[...]eane no other suits then those he weares,
[...]hich how to compasse, is that Guido feares.

125
Qui deierat peierat.

DAcus hath damn'd himselfe on due regard
From Tauernes, Plaies, Tobacco, and from Win [...]
Swearing hee'l liue like Iohn of Paules-Church-yard,
At least will often with Duke Humphry dine:
T'were well done ( Dacus) hadst thou power to do [...]
But Dice and Drabs (I feare) will hold thee to it.

126
Impar aetas, impare s (que) mores.

IT could not be (me thinkes) imagined,
That Iulia could haue lost her maidenhead
Being so yong, but that her selfe first told it,
To whom, and where she this vacation sold it.

127
Soluat Ecclesia.

VVHen Rose had reckned her full time at large,
She then bethinketh whom to nominate
[...]hat might partake with her ensuing charge,
[...]t length, with wisedome more considerate,
She gesseth none mongst all the rest to fit,
As is the parish Priest to father it.

128
Indomitae tandem veniunt ad aratra i [...]encae.

[...]Esbia the faire, that would be woo'd of none,
Hath since beene won by many more then one:
[...]d like a flower, whose colour soone doth fade,
[...]th often riding, proues a hackney Iade.

129
Casta est quam, Nemo roga [...]it▪

VVHo bruits it Mistresse Parnell is no maid,
And will not answere such discurtesie?
She scornes the very worst that can be said,
And stands so much on her virginitie:
As flatly to their teeth she doth retort it,
Presuming none so vile that will report it.

130
Aurum volat ocius Euro.

MOnsieur Fleming fraught with Angels store,
Would see faire London, neuer seene before:
Where lodging with his Mistresse but one night,
Had (ere he parted) put them all to flight.

131
Musae spernuntur egenae▪

FA [...]nus for feates of Fencing beares the Bell,
For skill in musicke on each Instrument,
For dancing, caruing, and discoursing well,
With other sundry gifts more excellent:
But striuing still to make his credit stronger,
The Taylor will not trust him any longer.

1 [...]
Non patitur res seria iocum.

TIb tooke an oath, that Tomesin was no maid,
Who angry, bad, beare record what she said:
As good haue publisht it with Trumpet blowne,
As call for witnesse in a case so knowne.

133
Frustra timet, qui sperat nihil.

TVsh, hang it, have at all (sayes Curio)
Comes not duze ace as soone as sixe and three?
Who would not rather halfe his Lands forgoe,
Then be out-dar'd by such a one as hee?
Damne him, hee'l ventur't all vpon a cast:
Wert not as good turne Rogue at first as last?

134
Sic ne perdid [...]rit non cessat perdere lusor.

ASke Ficus how his lucke at dicing goes,
Like to the tide (sayes he) it ebbes and floes:
Then I suppose his chaunce cannot be good,
For all men know, t'is longer ebbe then flood.

135
Sapiat qui diues, oportet.

TIs knowne how well I liue, sayes Romeo,
And whom I list, Ile loue, or will despise:
[...]deed it's reason good it should be so:
[...]or they that wealthy are must needs be wise:
But this were ill, if so it come to passe,
That for your wealth you must be beg'd an asse.

136
Similis doctrina libello.

CRaesus of all things loueth not to buy
So many Bookes of such diuersity:
[...]our Almanacke (sayes he) yeelds all the sence,
[...]f times best profit, and experience.

137
Nilgratum ratione carens.

PAulus a Pamphlet doth in prose present,
Vnto his Lord (the fruits of idle time)
Who farre more carelesse then therewith content,
Wished it were conuerted into rime:
Which done, and brought him at another season,
Said, now'tis rime, before nor rime nor reason.

138
Ingenio pollet cui vim natura negauit.

IF Nanus had but common gifts of nature,
And no arts cunning to his cubit-stature;
He neuer could with Ladies come so neare,
Nor get his victuals gratis all the yeare.

139
Turba graui paci Meritrix.

Enkin is wondrous iealous of his wife,
And vrgeth tearmes of shrewd suspition,
[...]t knowes not him the causer of his strife,
[...]t will he yeeld to no condition:
For now you offer Ienkin more disgrace,
Then if you horne him to his very face,

140
Quid queat esse diu.

SIgnior Fantasmus ner'e such pleasure found
In any sport, as in a deepe mouth'd hound:
[...]all was that pleasure, when vpon one day,
[...] lost his haire, and hunted all away.

141
Non Hospes ab Hospite tutus.

LIeftenant Lentulus liues discontent,
And much repineth at the want of warres,
For when his credit, coyne, and all is spent,
What should he doe but idly curse the starres?
Content thee Lentulus with thine estate,
That wert not idle when thou stol'st the plate.

142
I am sumus ergo pares.

DAmon his Dick had not this three yeares seene,
But rather thinkes he hath concealed beene:
Was it not strange that they so iumpe should meet,
Both at a Bawdy house in Turne-bull street?

143
Turpe senilis amor.

OLd doting Claudus doth in haste desire,
With beautious yong Penelope to wed,
[...]hose frozen appetite is set on fire,
[...]ntill the match be throughly finished:
Indeed as good dispatch as make delay,
That must be horned on his wedding day.

144
Incidit in Syllam cupiens vitare Charibdim.

[...]Arcellus museth how to spend that day,
Wherein it likes him not to see a play;
[...]t then he falles in some worse place (I doubt)
[...] staies so long till he be fired out.

146
Laesus amor in Furor.

VVHere hath sir Iohn so long beene resident?
Leauing his pensiue Lady all amort,
Who well may say ( woe worth the time mis-spent)
For griefe whereof she hath no list to sport:
But leaue her not againe in such a plight,
Least (out of minde) she proue more out of sight▪

147
Nocet empta dolore voluptas.

SIsly and Kate are gone to frolike it,
Late in the euening with their Tom and Kit:
What lucke had they to buy their sport so deere,
That in the morning must haue whipping cheere?

147
Nullus ad amissas ibit amicus opes.

HEard you not yet of Captaine Ferdinand?
That was so wont to swagger and carouse:
He lodgeth now no longer in the Strand,
But is remoued thence to such a house,
Where all his best acquaintance that he knowes,
Will not redeeme th'one halfe of what he owes.

148
Quid non speramus amantes?

[...]Lerce was espoused ere he went a wooing,
What should such Dunces be so long a doing?
[...]is wife (the wiser) thought to saue that paine,
[...] getting her a cloake fit for the raine.

149
Ingenium natura dedit, queis non dedit

NAy, see if Stark as yet can cease to flout,
How should hee chuse? his meere conceits are suc [...]
Tis good sir: Ile not say you are a lout,
Yet may a man presume to thinke as much,
I feare, when we haue both done all we can,
The best will scarce proue good Gramarian.

150
Lateat benèqui malè vixit.

FRancisco flyes, not daring once come neare,
[...]ut makes th'infection to be most his feare:
W [...]en those his Creditors that least beleeues him.
Knows 'tis his debt more th [...] the deuil that driues h [...]

151
Patria est vbicunque.

BRaue minded Medon can no more endure
To liue in England, then to brooke the lye,
Tut, your temptations cannot him allure,
He scornes them as an idle mockery:
Vrge him no more, I tell you twill but grieue him,
For here his meanes no longer may relieue him.

152
Ignoti nulla Cupido.

CAstus of all sinnes makes most conscience,
That men should with their chastities dispence;
She that weds him, must haue his maiden head,
At least may chance to bring a foole to bed.

153
Hoc tibi sorte datum.

NAy (good sir) giue vs leaue at least to know you,
Was not your father once a man of trade?
You now are rich, I know who may besthrow you,
That for your sake were yonger brothers made:
(Hearke in your eare) tis not the wealth you haue
Can shield you from the scandall of a—

154
Nec castè, nec cautè.

MOunsiur Du Prie hath promis'd to take heed,
That in the darke he doe no damned deed:
Fye Monsieur, fie, a man of your faire meanes,
And found a bed with filthy Oyster queanes?

155
Alea nil moderabile suadet.

VVHen Milo meanes to spare, then spends hee most
Let him but come where sport and gaming is
His humour cannot hold till all be lost,
And neuer thinketh he hath done amisse;
For thus resolued, Milo cares not whether,
He pay th' one halfe, or lye for altogether.

156
Sero sapiunt Phryges.

FEstus, that feasted long on delicates,
Now such vnpleasing foolish dyet hates;
Is it not reason he should spare at last,
That hath consumed more then all in wast.

157
Sine fuco pulchra venustas.

MIstresse Morinda is more coy then wise,
But faire she is and that most richly faire,
Her husband beares it out, (let that suffice)
And all defects is able to repaire;
But yet I wonder they should so excell,
That haue bene [...]ankerupts, all the world can tell.

158
Mortali [...] cunctacaduca.

STella the starre, that whilome shin'd so bright,
[...]s now ecclipsed, and hath lost her light;
[...] pitty ( Stella) that thy starres were such,
Better for thee they had not shin'd so much.

159
Pestis, cum finis amarus.

FYe, would you offer Winefrid that wrong,
To set abroach her Virgine chastity?
Well wotteth shee, you cannot loue her long,
And which is worse, the world may it espy:
Which is the thing that makes her looke into it,
Or else you know how easie t'were to do it.

160
Similes labris lactucae.

DIck swash (or swaggering Dick) through Fleet-street reeles,
With Sis and Bettrice waiting at his heeles;
[...]o one that would haue [...]ane the wall, he swore,
[...]ounds, dost not see my Puncke and Paramore?

16 [...] Nec te quaesiueris extra.

SIr, can you tell where young Pandorus liues,
That was surnamed here the prodigall:
He that so much for his silke stockings giues,
Till nought is left to buy him shooes withall?
Oh blame him not, to make what shew he can,
How should he else be thought a Gentleman.

162
Qui quondam Li [...]a, Lanista.

TIs said that Whittington was rais'd of nought,
And by a Cat, hath diuers wonders wrought;
But Fortune (not his Cat) makes it appeare:
He may dispend a thousand markes a yeare.

163
Auro cedit honos.

BL [...]do hath lost his Besse he knowes not where,
And franticke seekes her all the streets through-out,
Take courage ( Bindo) and be of good cheere,
To morrow thou shalt finde her, there's no doubt▪
To morrow came: deseru'd she to be shent,
That brought him home inough to pay his rent?

164
Sors vniuersa r [...]tat.

SAm swore an oath that those late Lotteries,
Were meere deceipts, and idle mockeries,
For of a hundred, if he two did plucke,
The standers by would say, t'was Cuckolds lucke.

165
Omnia vincit amor.

HOw comes it Malcus liues vnmarried,
That whilome was a sutor to so many,
Doubtlesse his loue hath still miscarried,
And he mis-led, was neuer lou'd of any.
So that I feare, the griefe of what is past,
Will cause the cockscombe hang himselfe at last.

166
Prauis communia praua.

ASke Minos why he marries not, heel' say,
He loueth not, to liue at racke and manger,
Whiles he may take a snatch and so away,
In common corners, like a common ranger.

167
Hic laque [...]s rendit, qui laqueo leditur.

I [...]us, that like to Aesops Spaniell snatcht,
[...] The shadow, for the substance, in the water,
[...]hought his egges chickins, being yet vnhatcht,
[...]d needs would thriue ere Lady-day the later:
Sure thou wert blind, that couldst, or wouldst not see,
To lay a trap for them that now catch thee.

168
Trahit sua quemque voluptas.

VVAt wils, you know how much he scorneth it,
To be a pick-purse of anothers wit:
[...]t in a pocket, please you vnderstand,
[...]e hath a reaching, deepe, and diuing hand.

169
Tempora mutantur, &c.

I Cry you mercy sir, I knew you not,
Thus Courtly Metamorphosed of late,
Your Country kinsfolkes haue you quite forgot,
You braue it out with that Maiesticke state,
As but I now recall whose sonne you were,
You might haue passed for some Nobles heire.

170
Na [...]uram expellere durum.

PArcus now sparing cost, sweares hee'l begin,
To enter commons in some Chancery Inne,
And will no longer once a day be fed,
That still before went supperlesse to bed.

171
Nummos & Demona iungit.

BAt bids you swell with enuy till you burst,
So he be rich, and may his Coffers fill,
[...]ringing th' example of the Fox that's curst,
[...]nd threatning folkes that haue least power to kill,
For why 'tis knowne his trade can neuer fall,
That hath already got the Diuell and all,

172
Viuit post funera virtus.

SIlus hath sould his Crimson Satten sute,
And needs will learne to play vpon the Lute,
[...]is well done ( Silus) for such sutes soone waste,
[...]hereas thy skill on Lutes will euer last.

173
Grata superueniet quae non sperabitur hora.

PErswade not Romulus to take a wife,
That is to wedlocke sworne an enemy,
And euer vowes to lead a single life,
Which he accounts most honest purity:
Besides a thousand reasons that constraines him,
And more (but mum) tis known whose wife maintai [...] hi [...]

174
Opinio preualet veritati.

I Asked Pontus. why he tooke such paines,
To trot in Tearme-time for so little gaines,
His answere was, that such as stand on wooings,
Must, howsoeuer, seeme to haue some dooings.

175
Moritur, cui fama perennis.

AMongst our Poets Rauchus reckoned is,
But lesse beholding to be so reputed,
For honest truth it selfe knowne to be his,
With fained Poetry was neuer suted:
Then must it certainly be said amisse,
Amongst our Poets Rauchus reck'ned is.

176
Canis ad Vomitum.

MAt in the mood of his distemp'rature,
Sweares he must fight to keepe his hands in vre,
For being weary of his theeuing trade,
What should he doe, if not approue his blade?

177
Sper [...]it gens rustica musas.

VVHat tell you me of Pontus peasant groome,
That Tearmely posteth vpto purchase pelf [...]
Which he obscures within some desert roome,
And basely liues a slaue vnto himselfe?
Spurre him in any point, but in a lease,
You'l sooner tire the iade, then melt his grease.

178
F [...]uent periuria furtum.

PIso hath stolne a siluer Boule in iest,
For which (suspected onely, not confest,)
Rather then Piso will restore the Boule,
To quit the body he will cast the soule.

179
Timodos fortunae repellit.

VVHen Miles the Seruingman my Lady kist,
She knew him not, (though scarcely could resist
So sweet a youth, and well apparelled)
Had not the Dunce himselfe discouered:
For this (quoth he) my Maister bad me say,—
How's that (quoth she?) and frowning flings away:
[...]ext to the heart, she tooke her marke amisse,
And th [...] [...]hee should a Seruing [...] creature kisse▪
Why thus it is, when fooles must make it known [...],
They come o [...] others businesse, not their owne.

180
Venaeli veneri suspensa haedera.

A Scoffing mate, that past along Cheap-side,
Incontinent a gallant Lasse espide:
Whose tempting breasts (as to the sale laid out)
Incites this yongster thus to gin to flout.
Lady▪ (quoth he) is this flesh to be sold?
No Lord (quoth she) for silver nor for gold:
But wherefore aske you? (and there made a stop)
To buy (quoth he) if not, shut vp your shop.

181
Nonnunquam iactat egenus.

IAcke is a Gentleman, I must confesse,
For ther's no womans Taylor can be lesse.

182
Nemo omnibus horis sapit.

NIsus that doth his night-cap so much vse,
Was neerely brought vnto his winding sheet,
Whose guilty conscience did him most accuse,
That he was plagu'd for walking late the street;
And well deseru'd, nor could he well doe worse,
Then deale with drabs, be drunke, and lose his purse

183
Pudor est suae d [...]mna referre.

[...]Eter hath lost his purse, but will conceale it,
Lest she that stole it, to his shame reueale it.

184
Prodit se lumine Luscus.

LVscus that late lay with his mistresse maid,
And (fearing much to haue the matter knowne)
Went to his fellow, whom he friendly praid
To counsell him, as were the cause his owne:
He that (more cunning) knew what should be done,
Tooke this aduantage for his better speed;
To finish that which th' other had begun,
But then alas, she prou'd with childe indeed,
And made the Woodcocke (who did first bewray i [...]
Stand to the reckoning, that could better pay it.

185
Quos ego? sed motos praest at, &c.

FLaccus giues out (because the world shall know it)
How bitter shortly he intends to write,
Threatning therein to firke his fellow Poet,
Gainst whom he beareth such reuenging spite:
But soft (quoth Flaccus) should I say hee's poore?
Oh no: least others talke as much of me.
Or shall I tell him that he loues a whoore?
Tush, therein likewise wee both iumpe agree.
Faith, Flaccus doubtlesse will his spleene recall,
I, I: As good be friends, nor write at all.

186
Quid non pecunia?

SHall squint-ey'd Mopsus, old Cincanters sonne,
Be matcht with Beauty for his little pelfe?
Much better were the Lobcocke lost then wonne,
Vnlesse hee knew how to behaue himselfe.
But this hath euer beene the plague of it:
That such are lou'd more for their wealth then wit.

187
Forma bonum fragile.

MArce [...]la now growne old hath broke her Glasse,
Because it flatters not as't did: alas,
Who would desire that any sencelesse stone,
Should shew good count'nance, that receiueth none?

188
Sorte tua contentus.

BArtus being bid to supper to a Lord,
Was marshal'd at the lower end of the boord.
Who vext thereat, 'mongst his Comrag's doth fret,
And sweares, that he below the salt was set.
But Bartus th'art a foole, to fret and sweare,
The salt stands on the boord, wouldst thou sit there?

189
Malum est quod tegitur.

BArtellus for a swelling in his groine,
Hath cut his shooe, and of his toe doth whine,
[...]ut what by that ( Bartellus doest thou gaine?)
[...]he neighbours know too well where lyes thy paine.

190
Vox impedit Esurienti.

GLute at meales is neuer heard to talke:
For which the more his chaps and chin doth walk [...]
When euery one that sits about the bord,
Makes sport to aske, what Gluto, nere a word?
He forc'd to answere, being very loth,
Is almost choak't▪ speaking and eating both.

191
Semper tibi pr [...]ximus esto.

THe will that women haue, doth shew the want of wit we [...]
For we fro women take our woe, by giuing way to wom [...]

192
Post dulcia finis am [...]rus.

HAue you not heard of Monsieur Maximus,
That liues by lending without interest?
But then he tels you with prouiso, thus,
You must assure your lands for such request:
Which done, be sure you ner'e in peace shall rest
But more perplext, then with the diuell possest.

[...]94
He [...] domus antiqua, &c.

BRutus whose buildings cost a thousand pound,
(Being newly fram'd, of late, euen from the ground)
Is fayrer farre then when his Father liu'd,
Because it's richer and more rare contriu'd;
Yet many times I heare the poore man weepe,
Saying, his father better house did keepe:
Which vnto me a Paradox doth seeme,
That what is worser that men better deeme.

195
Nil refert loqui, dum v [...]iliceat.

AN English Lad long wood a Lasse of Wales,
And entertained her with pretty tales:
Although she vnderstood not how to try him,
[...]et gaue consent at last to vnder-lye him;
[...]oth hauing dallyed with full saciety,
The wench to manifest the more sobrietie)
[...]old, in her language, she was fully p'ayd:
[...]nd Degon, degon, once or twice she said,
Degon in Welsh doth signifie enus [...],)
[...]hich he mistaking, answer'd thus in snuffe,
Degon that will, (for I protest) so sore
Haue dig'd already, I can dig no more.

196
Lenones Leones.

VRbanus that committed an offence,
With a yong country Lasse, (poore silly foole)
To salue his credit, soone conueys her hence,
Vnto a Garden-house, or Vaulting-schoole.
Where (now vnloden of that lucklesse ill)
And all dispatched (saue the hou should charge:)
The good-man-Bawd, or Pander (which you will)
Brings him no Ticket, but a Bill at large.
Item for pipkins, pap, and other things,
Amounting all to twenty markes, or more:
And this aloud into his eares he rings,
Pray sir (quoth he) for shame discharge your score.
[Page] Vrbanus loath to be proclaim'd a Gull,
Was willing to compound in any wise:
But yet not tendring his demand at full,
Said, he had seene the Lyons once or twise,
The Lyons (answeres he) that may be true,
But thinke you thence to merit any praise?
Each Lobcooke may those Lyons daily view,
Haue you not seene the Dragons in your dayes?
No (quoth Vrbanus) that I must confesse,
Then (said the Pander) you must pay no lesse.

197
Pud [...]re suo impudens.

A Certaine fellow of the purer sect,
Who outwardly did holinesse respect,
Could not endure a Surplice in the Church;
Yet was he lately found in such a lurch,
That though he could not with a Surplice beare,
Did in the Chancell yet a white sheet weare.

198
Non nouit seipsum.

COuld Titus deeme the times he now bestowes,
To be the same he did prognosticate,
[...]hat thus of late transform'd himselfe not knowes,
He is become so great a Potentate,
Who would haue thought (his father but a Tanner)
The son should braue it in that pompeous manner.

199
Spernit gens rustica Musas.

VVHat tell you me of Porcus Pesant-Groome,
That scrapeth vp together so much thrift,
Which he obscures vvithin some desart roome,
And basely liues vnknowne by any shift.
His lookes are Characters of his discent,
Sprung from the loynes of some mechanick Syre,
That neuer knew what ciuill vsagement,
But to be onely rich doth still aspire:
Spurre him in any thing but in his trade,
And you shall see how scone he'le proue a Iade.

200
Ictus Piscator sapit.

VVHen Caecus had beene wedded now three daye
And all his neighbours bad God giue him io [...]
This strange conclusion with his Wife assaies,
Why till her marriage day she prou'd so coy;
(Quoth he) we man and wife in manner were,
A month before: then could we haue repented?
Alas (quoth she) had I not cause to feare,
How you might conster it, had I consented?
Fore God (quoth hee) t'was well thou didst not yeel [...]
For doubtlesse then my purpose was to leaue thee.
Oh Sir (quoth she) I once was so beguild,
And thought the next man should not so deceiue me
Now out alas (quoth he) thou breed'st my wo,
Why man (quoth she) I speake but quid pro quo.

201
Detur quod meritum.

A Courtier kinde in speach, curst in condition,
Finding his faults could be no longer hidden,
Came to his friend to cleare his bad suspition,
(And fearing least he should be more then chidden,)
Fell to a flattering and most base submission,
Vowing to kisse his foote if he were bidden:
My foote said he? Nay, that were too submisse,
You three foote higher; well deserue to kisse.

202
[...]enus in specie.

VVHat curl'd-pate youth is he that sitteth there
So neere your wife, and whispers in her eare?
And holds her hand in his, and soft doth wring her?
And slides her Ring oft vp and downe her finger?
Sure 'tis some man that's seene in both the lawes.
Retain'd by her in some important cause:
Prompt of behauiour in his words and action,
That doth her bus'nesse with great satisfaction.

203
A malo ad peius

YOu sent to me to borrow twenty marke,
But to that suite by no meanes would I harke,
Then presently you sent a man in post,
To tell me that a Lord with you would host:
And you must haue to entertaine his state,
A Siluer Bason with some other plate,
Are you a cockscombe? or thinke me a foole?
That should be set againe vnto the Schoole?
Indeed I were a Woodcocke to be wondred,
(Denying twenty markes) would lend a hundred.

204
La [...]et aliquid occultum

[...]F Doll step out of Dores into the street,
[...] But towards Church or with a friend to meet,
What is the cause (it may be some will aske,)
Why she still hooded goeth in her maske?
Oh shee's afraid it would be much disgrace,
The wind or raine should marre her painted face.

205
Vsus promptos facit

VVHy striues old Turnus still to haue the wall [...]
Oh, he is euer druncke and feares to fall.

206
Semper idem Incultus.

TOr [...]s hath left his late mechannick trade,
And vseth now another new profession,
But being still the same that Nature made,
Yeelds to his former stampe the same impression:
Of whom I well may write this Epigram,
Ne quisquam Sutor vltra Crepidam.

207
Foras expertus.

PRiscus hath beene a Traueller for why,
He will so strangely swagger, sweare, and lye.

208
Leui, responsio leuis.

PRetus that late had office borne in London,
Was bid by [...] good morrow Pretus quondom,
He, with a iest (no whit put out of temper)
Reply'd incontinent Ad [...]e kn [...] Sempe [...]:
Another in a kinde of scoffing speeches,
Would needes request his gowne to line his breeche [...]
Not so quoth he, but sure twill be thy hap,
That for thy knauish head thou line thy Cap.

209
Nil perdit ign [...]tus.

VNto a certaine Gentlewomans chamber
A Pedler came, (her husband being thence)
To sell her linnen, Ciuit, Muske, or A [...]ber:
[...]he francke of fauours, sparing of expence,
[...]o bargaines with him ere he par [...]ed thence,
That for a parcell of his purest lawne,
To grant dishonest pleasures she was drawne.
Next day the man repenting of his cost,
Began to thinke vpon some r [...]stitution,
How to be paid at length for what was lost,
Which he intends to put in execution;
And therefore bent with setled resolution,
Vnto her husband presently repaires,
To aske him fiftie shillings for his wares.
Her husband ignorant what cause had bred it,
Saies wife, how comes it you haue spent such store,
And must with pettie Chapmen runne in credit?
Now for my honour sake doe so no more.
Good Sir (quoth she) I meant it to restore,
That tooke it of him onely for a tryall,
And finde 'tis too high prised by a ryall.

210
Vt nascimur, morimur.

WHen to the world we came, we nought did bring
Borne therefore first of nought, & nought dying

211
In obitum Promi.

THat Death should thus from hence our Butler catch,
Into my minde it cannot quickly sincke,
[...]re Death came thirsty to the Buttry Hatch,
[...]hen he (that busie was) denid him drincke:
[...]ut 'twas not so: 'tis like he gaue him liquer,
[...]nd Death made drunke, tooke him away the quicker,
Yet let not others grieu [...] too much in minde,
(The Butler gon) the Keyes are left behinde.

212
Imp [...]r Impares odit.

SOtus hates wisemen (for himselfe is none)
And fooles he hates because himselfe is one.

213
Quod nimis, nequicquam.

CReta respects her husband wondrous well,
It needes no proofe, for euery one can tell
How kinde she is, that if I not mistake,
Her loue extends to others for his sake.

214
Ignauis stimulum.

VOrax is vext that I thus reprehend him,
Faith if words will not, Silence cannot mend him.

215
Sapiunt quaecunque probantur.

VVE make our Epigrams, as men taste cheese,
Which hath his relish in the last farewell:
Like as the purest liquor hath his leeze,
So may you yearely end the tale you tell,
The Tayle (of all things) some men aime at most,
Those that had rather fast, may kisse the post.
And ther's an end.
Semel insaniuimus omnes.
[Page] THus haue I waded through a worthlesse taske,
Whereto (I trust) ther's no exceptions tane,
For (meant to none) I answere such as aske,
'Tis like apparrell made in Birchin-Lane.
If any please to sute themselues and weare it,
The blam's not mine, but theirs that needes wi [...] beare
VT tibi lecta placent, mea sic mihi scripta placebu [...]
I [...]dicio seruit gratia nostra tuo.
Abijois ista ferus? mo [...]tur mea musa dolendo,
Accipis ista libens? illa quod optat hab [...]t.
FINIS.

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