The Cooper of Norfolke: OR, A pretty Iest of a Brewer and the Coopers Wife: And how the Cooper served the Brewer in his kind.
To the tune of, The Wiving Age.
ATtend my Masters, and listen well
Unto this my Ditty, which briefly doth tell
Of a fine merry Iest which in
Norfolke befell:
A braue lusty Cooper in that Countie did dwell,
And there he cry'd Worke for a Cooper,
Maids ha'ye any worke for a Cooper?
This Cooper he had a faire creature to's wife,
Which a Brewer i'th Towne lou'd as deare as his life,
And she had a tricke, which in some wiues is rife:
She still kept a sheath for another mans knife,
And often cornuted the Cooper,
While he cry'd, More worke for a Cooper.
It hapned one morning the Cooper out went,
To worke for his liuing it was his intent:
He trusted his house to his wiues gouernment,
And left her in bed to her owne hearts content,
While he cry'd, What worke for a Cooper,
Maids ha'ye any worke for a Cooper?
And as the Cooper was passing along,
Still crying and calling his old wonted song,
The Brewer, his riuall, both lustie and yong,
Did thinke now or neuer to doe him some wrong,
And lie with the wife of the Cooper,
Who better lov'd him than the Cooper.
So calling the Cooper, hée to him did say,
Goe home to my house, and make no delay,
I haue so much worke as thou canst doe to day:
What euer thou earnest, Ile bountifully pay.
These tidings well pleased the Cooper,
Oh, this was brave newes for the Cooper.
Away went the Cooper to th'house of the Brewer,
Who séeing him safe at his worke to indure:
Thought he, now for this day the Cooper is sure,
Ile goe to his wife, her gréen-sicknesse to cure:
Take heed of your forehead, good Cooper,
For now I must worke for the Cooper.
So straightwaies he went to the Coopers dwelling,
The goodwife to giue entertainment was willing,
The Brewer & she like two pigeons were billing:
And what they did else they haue bound mee from telling:
He pleased the wife of the Cooper,
Who better lov'd him than the Cooper.
But marke how it happened now at the last,
The sun-shine of pleasure was soone ouer-past;
The Cooper did lacke one of's
Tooles[?], and in haste
He came home to fetch it, and found the doore fast:
Wife, open the doore, quoth the Cooper,
And let in thy husband the Cooper.
Now when the goodwife and the Brewer did heare
The Cooper at doore, affrighted they were:
The Brewer was in such a bodily feare,
That for to hide himselfe he knew not where,
To shun the fierce rage of the Cooper,
He thought he should die by the Cooper.
The good wife perceiuing his wofull estate,
She hauing a subtill and politicke pate,
She suddenly whelm'd downe a great brewing Fat,
And closely she couer'd the Brewer with that.
Then after shee let in the Cooper,
What's under this Tub? quoth the Cooper.
The second Part, To the same Tune.
SHe hearing her husband that question demand,
She thought it was time to her tackling to stand:
Take héed how you moue it,
qd she, with your hand,
For there's a liue Pig was sent by a friend:
Oh, let it alone, good Cooper:
Thus she thought to couzen the Cooper.
Is it a Sow pig, the Cooper did say?
Let me hau't to my Supper: the good wife said nay,
It is sir, a Bore-pig, quoth she, by my fay:
Tis for my owne diet, twas giu'n me to day:
It is not for you, Iohn Coop
[...]
Then let it alone, Iohn Cooper.
I would it were in thy belly, quoth
Iohn,
Indéed, quoth the goodwife, so it shall be anon:
What, ere I do with it, faith thou shalt haue none.
Why standst thou here prating? I prethée be gone,
Make haste to thy worke, Iohn Cooper,
Worse meat's good enough for a Cooper.
Cannot a good wife haue a bit now and than,
But there must be notice tane by the good man?
Ile hau't to my dinner, sir, doe what you can:
It may be I long to haue all or none:
Then prethee content thy selfe Cooper,
Oh goe to thy worke, Iohn Cooper.
The Cooper mistrusted some knauerie to be
Hid vnder the brewing Fat, and therefore hée
Was fully resolu'd, for his mind-sake, to sée.
Alas, thought the Brewer, now woe be to me,
Oh what shall I say to the Cooper?
I would I were gone from the Cooper.
You whore,
qd the Cooper, is this your Bore-pig?
He has béene well fed, for hée's growne very big:
Ile either of him haue an arme or a leg;
Ile make him vnable his taile for to wrig.
Before he gets hence from Iohn Cooper,
Ile make him remember the Cooper.
Oh pardon me Neighbour the Brewer did say:
And for the offence I haue done thee this day,
I am well contented thy wrath to allay,
And make restitution for this my foule play:
O prethee forgive me, Iohn Cooper,
And Ile be a friend to Iohn Cooper.
If from this offence thou wilt set me cléere,
My bounty and loue to thée shall appeare:
Ile freely allow thée and thine all the yeare,
As much as yée'l drink, either strong Ale or Béere:
Then prethee forgive me, Iohn Cooper,
Accept of my proffer, Iohn Cooper.
Oh no, quoth the Cooper, I'de haue thee to thinke,
That I with my labour can buy my selfe
drinke.[?]
Ile geld thee, or lame thee, ere fram me thou shrink.
These words made the Brewer with feare for to stink;
He feared the rage of the Cooper,
Yet still he intreated the Cooper.
The Cooper by no meanes would let goe his hold,
The Brewer cry'd out to the Cooper, and told
Him, there was the key of his siluer and gold
And gaue him free leaue to fetch what he would:
O then he contented the Cooper,
These tidings well pleased the Cooper.
If thou, quoth the Cooper, wilt sweare with an oath,
To doe all thou tell'st me, although I am loath,
I will be contented to pardon you both:
Content, quoth the Brewer, I will, by my troth,
Here take thou my key, Iohn Cooper.
Yea, with a good will, quoth the Cooper.
On this condition they both went their way,
Both
Iohn and the Brewer, but
Iohn kept the key,
Which open'd the Coffer where more money lay,
Than
Iohn the Cooper had seene many a day:
This is a brave sight, thought the Cooper,
Ile furnish my selfe, thought the Cooper.
Iohn was so farre in affection with that,
That he tooke vp handfuls and filled his Hat:
I will haue my bargaine, quoth
Iohn, that is flat,
The Brewer shall pay well for vsing my Fat:
Ile cry no more worke for a Cooper,
Farewell to the trade of a Cooper.
Thus money can pacifie the greatest strife:
For
Iohn neuer after found fault with his wife.
Hée left off his Adz his Saw and his Knife,
And after liu'd richly all daies of his life;
Hee cry'd no more worke for a Cooper:
Oh he left off the trade of a Cooper.
And in his merry mood, oft he would say,
If that I had hoop't twenty tubs in one day,
I should not haue got so much wealth, by my fay:
Gramercie kind wife, for thy wit found the way
To make a rich man of Iohn Cooper:
Oh what a good wife has Iohn Cooper.
Let no marry'd couple that heare this tale told,
Be of the opinion this couple did hold,
To sell reputation for siluer or gold:
For credit and honesty should not be sold.
Thus ended the song of the Cooper.
That cry'd, Ha'ye any worke for a Cooper.
FINIS.
M. P.
Printed at London for Francis Grove, on Snow-hill.