ALl the matters wherof we haue spoken in the former part, to shewe the perfection and Noblenesse of the Asse, I may safely affirme to be of little or no auaile at all, or profitable in ought to humane kinde: considering what benefit is to be receiued by his excrements, as also from the members of his bodie, after he is dead.

But to the end that all men (of what condition soeuer) may perceiue I speake nothing but the truth, I am deter­mined in this second part, to make choyse of other matters then is before. Beginning with his flesh, which when the Asse is yoong, is very sauourie and delicate, and may com­pare with all other sorts of flesh whatsoeuer.

And though it be not in vse, as the flesh of the Calfe, Kidde, or such like: questionlesse the reason may be, that nature, the most wise preseruer of all kindes of beastes, [Page] hath prouided that man shall not be drawen with any de­sire to eate thereof, but first hath rather chosen to put into our mindes, that such as heare the meaning of such flesh, are wont to make a scornfull looke thereat. And this may be to the end, that if perhaps men should taste therof, they would become so coueting thereafter, as despising al other kindes of flesh, they would giue themselues only to féede on the Asse, whereby sodeinly might ensue the destruction of the Asses kinde: and so they should become of such deare value, as they were in the times wherof alreadie we haue spoken, as Marcus Varro sawe them solde, and Plinie re­porteth.

Herehence doubtlesse would arise this hurt, that poore men, who maintaine themselues and family by the helpe of an Asse onely, should not be able to buy any, not hauing the meanes to laie out so great a summe of mony.

That this kinde of flesh in swéetnesse excell all other, the noble men in the kingdome of Scotland are so perswa­ded: for I haue heard of a Scottish Gentleman, who in Sciences hath made so great profit, as the principall stu­dents in all Italy haue not a little admired him, when he heard that such a miserable slaughter of Asses was made in Mantua. The aforesaid Gentleman affirmed to me, that no banquet in Scotland was reputed of any value, where the flesh of a young Asse was not to be had.

In the good and memorable time of Pius Quartus, be­gan they not to make a vsuall seruice therof, both in feasts and banquets of greatest importance? And if the rounde table of the mightie Lord of T. called Triclinium, could speake, hardly would be credited the quantitie of Asses flesh, which in those times was eaten thereon.

And did not Mecenates vse Asses flesh, as a foode most delicate?

We read at a certaine time, in the Citie of Samaria, [Page] an Asses head was sold for foure score pence. And they that so bought them, [...]ed thereon with such sweetnesse and de­light, as if they had eaten the very daintiest meate, that could be bought for a greater price.

Plutarche rehearseth, that in a certaine warre King Artaxerxes made, an Asses head was likewise sold in his Campe for seuentie Drachmaes.

But leaue we the Asses head in so great estéeme to be eaten, as also the flesh wherein the bones thereof are clo­sed: and speake we of the last and chiefe benefite, which we receiue by the head of the Asse, when it is cut off, and the flesh parted from it.

What merueilous properties and vertue is included in the said Asses head, the poore husbandman wel knows, and great proofe is made thereof in many places of Italy, as also diuers other territories beyond the mountaines.

Hence ensues it, that in the other partes of the lande about Brescia, we sée in many places, the heades of Asses fixed on the ridge of walls and buildings: which in opini­on of the vulgare was, because Goblins and dancing Fai­ries that runne in courses, haue bene séene to plaie vp and downe vpon them.

The Lapidaries say, that there is a stone in the Asses necke, called the Asse stone, which by the opinion of Magi­tians, hath no small vertue: and perhaps it may be the same stone, which Albertus Magnus calleth the stone A­sia.

Dioscorides writes, that the liuer of an Asse eaten fa­sting, helpes them that are afflicted with the falling sick­nesse. The selfesame power and vertue (saith he) hath the Asses hoofe beaten into powder, and drunk in white wine.

The dung of an Asse, wrapped in a linnen cloth, and layd on his head that hath much blood abounding in his nose, doth withdraw it, and makes it perfectly sound, as al Authors that haue written in Phisicke do affirme.

[Page] Plinie saith, that the drinking of an Asses milke, is the chiefest remedie to helpe them that haue receiued poyson. Hereto we may ioyne, that it is a present remedie for the swelling of the ioynts, as also it cures the gout.

Besides this, he addeth, that the same milke mingled with a quantitie of honie, is a most admirable helpe for them troubled with the Dissenteria, especially if it bee drunke fasting.

Finally, the vniuersall Academie of Phisitians doe herein agrée, that the drinking of an Asses milke, cureth many and sundry infirmities, whereof my skill serues me not to make report.

But well I know, and thereof am able to yéeld a most certaine testimony, that to an especiall friend of mine, who not long since was greatly gréeued with the stone, report was made of the vertue of this milke, wherof he drinking as the very latest remedie of hope, not only receiued the most singular benefit of recouerie from the point of death, which he sawe him vnlikely to escape; but likewise attai­ned his former health and good disposition.

Suetonius Tranquillus reports, that Poppea wife to Nero, euery morning vsed to wash all her bodie with As­ses milke: only to cherish and maintaine health, beautie and softnesse, as also to make the bodie amiable and deli­cate. For this purpose she had fiue hundreth Asses conti­nually kept, and such especially as very lately before had foled their yoong: which vse, from that time to this present day, hath bene obserued by many of our greatest Matrons, and among all the rest, by Ione that was the Quéen of Na­ples.

But to speak some what concerning the vertue of this beasts skinne, do we not reade, that if it be taken and vsed as a mantle, to wrappe about a childe while he is in the Cradle, that it causeth the vertue of courage and boldnesse in such sort, as when he comes to yeares, he shall neuer [Page] know the man to be affraide of?

See we not likewise by daily experience, that such as sléepe vppon an Asses skinne, or vse it vppon them as a couering, shalbe frée from vermine or Lice about them?

Hereof procéeds it, that maisters, maisters mates, ma­riners, captaines and such like, as serue eisher in shippes or gallies, haue ordinarily these skinnes about them.

The forenamed vertue, quallitie and gift, conside­red by our Poet, altogither enforced him to sing in this maner.

Yet will I not forbeare to rehearse, that if we haue such consideration, as ought be vsed about matter of great profit, we shall receiue some by this skinne, when it is la­boured and made wih holes in many places, that it may serue as Siue or Searse, wherewith commodiously we take vp corne, or whatsoeuer kind of pulse beside, to clense it from the dust and other matter of annoyance: we shall then be enforced to confesse, that without the benefite of this skin, very hardly could we deale in such businesse.

Hereto let vs adioyne another commoditie, which we receiue by this skinne in the sharpe assaults of warre, sée­ing thereof is made the Drums and Tamburines, with other such like instruments fit for the vse of warre: which being to such proportion as they should be, and smitten on (as men are instructed in the manner how) they deliuer such an apt sound, as awakes and cheares the minde of a [Page] man, although he were neuer so cowardly or timorous, prouoking him to the battaile, making him withall, fierce and couragious, bee the assault neuer so hotte and pe­rillous.

What shall wee then say of the Asses bones? Is it not a thing especially to be noted, that the marrow being taken foorth, such a kinde of Flute is of them, as yéeldes a very sweete and pleasing harmonie?

This was the cause which moued the Ambassadour of the great Duke of Moscouia, that went to Rome the last yeare, to demaund whereof those instruments that wee call Cornets, which in honour of him (among other mu­sicall instruments) were sounded when he entred his lod­ging, which the noble Gouernour of Verona had proui­ded for him. And being answered that they were of wood, couered with this beastes skinne, he meruailed greatly thereat. And albeit he graunted, that they gaue a moste pleasing melodie, yet hée saide, they were not compa­rable to them made of Asses bones in his owne Coun­trey.

Then may we safely (on the Asses behalfe) affirme with our Poet.

I am resolued then to reade no further in what I haue spoken of, concerning the quallitie, vertue and properties of the Asse, and of his bones: because if I would, it were conuenient for me (according to our Poets opinion) prin­cipally to recount.

Then at this Cantōs end let vs cōclude this point, only [Page] we must néeds except, what may not wel be shadowed with silence, because it is little lesse then miraculous, and is re­hearsed by Apuleius, in his booke of Country matters. If any man bitten by a Scorpion, doth sodeinly mount vppon an Asse, sitting with his face toward the Asses taile, all the venome of the Scorpion which the man hath receiued, shal part from him, and enter into the Asses bodie whereupon he rydes, and the Asse shal presently be séene swolne, chan­ged, and complaining, as if he had bene bitten by the Scor­pion: so that the man shalbe soundly recouered from any peril of the poyson. The proofe heereof, the before named Author affirmeth, that by himselfe it hath very often and many times bene séene. If men then receiue such a benefit by the Asse, he that should conceale it from being knowne, I leaue to the iudgement of the Asse-fauouring Reader.

Likewise let him be so censured, that spares to speake, what Plinie rehearseth in his second booke and twentieth Chapter, that of the corruption in the Asses carcasse, is en­gendered the blacke Flie called a béetle: which Flie, as is said in the thirtieth booke and second Chapter, the people of Egypt worshipped as a God, perswading themselues, that it was the very image of the Sun. And this was, be­cause all the Béetles (as Elianus writes, and Snydas like­wise confirmeth) are male-kinde, and haue no female a­mong them: in this maner then is their engendring con­tinued.

The séed of the Oxe, Horse, or dung of the Asse, spilt or spred on the ground, which afterward they turne togither with their féete, making therof the fashion of a bed, and so lye thereon, and circle it for twentie eight dayes togither, when it receiueth forcible heate at the time for them to take life, and thus appeares new engendred Béetles ther­on, which are like to the Sun, because he likewise spreads on the earth his vertue seminall. Thus by his continuall course are they encreased, flying vp toward heauen and the [Page] heate of his beames, and as the Mooue reneweth euerie moneth, so doth this kinde of Béetle stil renew.

Now let vs speake a little of the vertue which natu­rally appertaineth to the hoofe of the Asse, according to Pli­nie, when it is boyled in Asses milke, and applied to weak sighted eyes, it helpes them greatly, taking all offence whatsoeuer from them, and cleares the sight most mira­culously.

Plutarche writeth, in the life of Alexander the great, that the poyson giuen him to drinke, was an excéeding cold water, gathered from a certaine Rocke in the Countrey of Nouaria, which cannot be kept but in an Asses hoofe: for all other things are not able to hold it, but wil breake by reason of the extreame coldnesse.

Such then, and so many are the stupendious actions, notable graces, and supernaturall gifts or quallities of the Asse, which can neuer be sufficiently commended: as ther­fore he deserueth to haue the chiefe place, amongst all bru­tish beasts liuing on the earth. By iust equitie whereof, our Poet being intirely moued, thus singeth.

Hence is it, that wee néede make no great meruaile, why the auncient Astrologers, mooued by his so many na­tural perfections, Noblenesse and excellencie, doo honour him in heauen with the name of two starres, placed in the signe of Cancer, called Asinelle, and in an other place they set downe thrée, named Praesepe Asinelli, the Asses maun­ger.

Nor can I but declare (as succéeding in this place) the great and diligent regard, which euermore the auncient [Page] magnificent Lords had, to make (as one would say) the Asses name immortall, perswaded, mooued, and prouoked thereto, by his so many rare and excellent qualities, in a­boundant sort bestowed on him by nature, and speciall be­nignitie of celestiall fauour.

To the end I may then with some gratitude of mind, leaue such a memorie to posteritie, as shall make the Asses name to be perpetuall: note how these things following haue bene entitled, and honoured with the name of the Asse.

• 1. Cities.
• 2. Castles.
• 3. Boroughes.
• 4. Villages,
• 5. Islands.
• 6. Seas.
• 7. Ports.
• 8. Mountaines.
• 9. Riuers.
• 10. Bridges.
• 11. Stréetes.
• 12. High waies.
• 13. Vallies.
• 14. Towers.
• 15. Fountaines.
• 16. Sepulchers.
• 17. Bookes.
• 18. Lawes.
• 19. Frutes.
• 20. Feastes.
• 21. Games.
• 22. Oathes.
• 23. Proper names.
• 24. Families.
• 25. Prouerbes.

And to the end this which I haue said may appearant­ly bee knowne, binding my selfe willingly to the Asses name, it wil be hard for me to gather, and consort in this place two named things, for each of the fiue and twentie before declared: that only beare memorie of the Asse, and so shall do for euer.

Nor shall I néed to collect any more then two of each, though for euery one I could set downe ten at the least: because I am loth to be troublesome to my selfe, as also fearefull to hinder any from imitating the steppes of such Asse-friends.

[Page] 1 One of the most principall Cities in Persia, not farre off from the great Citie of Selencia, is called in the Persi­an tongue Zaucamora, which in our language, is as much to say, as the Asses Citie.

2 In Peloponesus, or Morea, if we wil so call it, néere to the sea that lieth toward the West, is the Citie named Asinari.

1 In Calabria, at the Marquesate of Oluito, there is a Castle called, Castello del gl'Asini.

2 In Friuli, about ten myles distant from Asola, is an other, tearmed Castello Asinino.

1 In the territorie of Placentia, is a village named Villa discontral Asino.

2 Neare to Rome, as ye go toward Braciano, is a Vil­lage that hight Asina bella.

1 In the territorie of Siena, is a Borough called Asi­na luuga.

2 On the way as we ryde from Bologna to Florence, betwéene Loiano and Pietramala, we come to a Borough tearmed Scarcalasino.

1 Asinetta, is an Island at the mouth of the red sea, not much distant from the land on the East side, where stands the strong Citie of Aden.

2 In the Eupine sea, called Mare Maiore, on the North part, neare to Palus Meotides, there is a little Islande, which aboundeth with swéete water, and it is called Isola Asinina.

1 Olaius Magnus, a most diligent writer of the North parts, affirmeth, that the sea which from Norway we saile by, to the Prouince of Lapponia called Schiuziroffi, in our language is tearmed Mare Asinone.

2 The great spacious [...] which from the Realme of Ireland, passeth on to Iseland▪ of the Countrey people is called Mare Asinesco.

1 In the Aegean sea, neare to the Castle which vul­garely [Page] is called Dardanelli, on the side of Asia; is to be séene a most faire Port, though not ouer bigge, and it is named Porto Asinino.

2 In the Isle of Cyprus, before we arriue at the ha­uen of Famogosta, a Port is found, which is not very sure, for yéelding shelter from the colde Northeast winde, it is called Porto Asinetto.

1 Ten myles of from Florence, may ye discerne the mountain Asinaro, where the obseruant Fryers of a Mo­nasterie builded on the top of the mountaine, daily serue God.

2 On the part where Abrutium is seated in Italy, is Mount Asinello, on the top whereof is a Church dedicated to S. Eustatius.

1 Neare the water Treuio, by Abrucium, is a little Riuer named the Riuer of Asino.

2 In the territories of Ragusa, or Epidaurus, within sixe myles distance of the Cittie, runneth the Riuer Asi­nesco, which is a nauigable water, and hath a defenceable Port at the Sea mouth.

1 Among the ruines of Aquileia, which was destroyed by Attyla, is to be séene part of a most sumptuous Bridge, at the head whereof, stands a huge Asse of very pure mar­ble, which with her Dugges séedes two yoong Asses, and this Bridge is yet called Pont' Asinone. On the other part of the same Bridge now ruined, as the eldest men of the Countrey auouch, was another goodly Asse made like the former, the reliques whereof are yet to be there séene on the ground.

2 In Cicilia, neare to the Citie of Catauea, within two myles, there passeth an indifferent great Riuer, ouer which is a goodly Bridge of wood, whereon foure Cartes may easily méete togither, and it is named Pous Asini.

1 The large stréete, whereby we passe along from the Market place, vnto the Cathedral Church of S. Mauritus, [Page] in the Cittie of Lypara, is called Asinesca stréete.

2 In the auncient Cittie of Perugia, there is a stréete which direct to the Monasterie of Couented Fryers of S. Fraunces, and it is tearmed the Paradise of the Asini.

1 In Friuli, on certaine high downe bearing hilles, where the auncient familie of the Gordes of Sauorgnani haue their iurisdiction, is a way that leadeth to a certaine Castle of theirs, named, Here fell I with mine Asse. Which words are there engrauen in very hard stones, that so faire a memorie of the Asse might not be forgotten.

2 In Apulia is a great way of tenne large myles, by which they passe from the great Tower, till they come to Mount Iargano, it is called Longasina.

1 There is a vale by the way, as ye goe along from Fabriano to Cammerino, neare to the shipping place of the auncient Varrani, now Lordes of the said Cittie, and it is named the vale of Asini.

2 Neare to the parts of Heluetia, among the Cantons where Zurich is named, ye haue a valley called Asinari.

1 At the Citie of Bologna, there is a Tower which for height contendeth with the starres, called the Tower of the Asinelli.

2 A Tower of lesser height is to be séene in the Pro­uince of Basilicata, otherwise called Lucania, without the walles of the Citie of Venafro, on the West side, and it is tearmed the Tower Asino.

1 A Fountaine plentifully abounding with water, is to be séene on the confines, betwéene Pipeono and the Castle of Souino, it is nominated, Fountaine Asini.

2 Passing the Riuer Pauara, and leauing the corner of the way, whereby we goe to Modoua, there turning on the left hand, and within a quarter of a myle onwarde, standes a Fountaine beautified with engrauen stone, yet passing vnder a goodly vault by thrée great pipes of met­tall, wel neare rotten and defaced; out of them comes great [Page] aboundance of water, and it is called Fountaine Asinara.

Hauing so lately mentioned the Citie of Modeua, I call to minde a memorie concerning the Asse, which the said Citie long time kept among other things, with good regard. And it was a milking paile, wherin a citizens Asse of Bologna had drunke: for it happened, that about matter of the confines, warres ensued betwéene them of Bologna and Modeua. They of this part, at one time among other, made a tumultuous inuasion on the territories of Bolog­na, and finding some encounter which they looked not for, by reason of their vnorderly proceeding: they were en­forced to returne, yet they sought for some bootie in the stable of Bolognian Cittizen, from whence the maister thereof had but lately before taken foorth his Asse, and for feare escaped away thereon. There found they the milking paile, wherin the Asse before spoken on had drunke, which they tooke away with them, and mounting it on the point of a Launce, after the maner of carrying some great Tro­phée, they returned there with to the Cittie, all the people of Modeua running to gaze theron, as at a most rich spoyle gotten by conquest of warre: which by them long time af­ter was kept as an especiall example: as we reade in the booke called the Annales of Lombardie.

But nowe returne wee to the other memories of the Asse.

1 At the Cittie of Vercellis, in the Church of Saint Lazarus, is to bee séene a goodly auncient Sepulcher of Marble, on the couerture whereof, is verie linely car­ued an Asse lying along verie formally, euen as the fi­gures of men are shaped vppon Toombes. And there are certaine letters engrauen at the féete of the said Asse: but nothing can be made of any sillable, by reason they are so defaced by antiquitie.

Here I confesse, and that for some reuerence, which dutifully I beare to the Asse, not to haue founde any other [Page] Sepulcher, carrying remembrance of the Asse, but only this one: albeit I haue spared no labour, in reading ouer bookes sufficient, beside all other possible dilligence im­ployed.

1 Apuleius wrote a booke intituled, the golden Asse.

2 Plautus composed a Comedie, called Asinaria.

I could neuer know what booke that was, which gaue matter to our Poet thus to sing.

Wherefore I am now content to prosecute the search therof no further, in hope another time to vnderstand more of it.

1 Bartolus, the famous Lawier, in L. 1. F. de sup. L. leg. speaketh of a lawe, which willeth, that the Testator making a bond of his mooueables to a straunger, and let­ting passing his setled good to his kindred, that rightfully should as heires succéed: this lawe limitteth and appoint­teth, that his Asse (if he happened to haue any) is not com­prehended among the mooueables. But as a good, stable and setled, without any other implication, the same Asse shall remain to his kindred y ^• do inherit the goods seated.

And this lawe (for this purpose) do I account sufficient, because I am loth to trouble myselfe, in searching huge lawe Libraries for any other: for my labour therin would excéed the Asses.

1 No sort of frutes are found, but beare name of some beaste, or of a man, as the Apple of Appius, the Prune Maximillian, of Maximillianus: and that of the Asse, which is the sort of Prunes, named great, good, faire and yelow, being rightly tearmed the Prune Asinare.

2 There is a kind of Cucumber, which much auaileth [Page] for medicine, and it is called Cucumber Asini.

2 Nouius Marcellus recordeth, that the Romanes of old would celebrate the feast of the gardein God, whereat the husbands children only should be present, each one out­brauing other vpon his Asse, and so ryding on this beast, thrée times they would circle the temple about. Afterward they should cast lottes, and his Asse to whome the lot fell, must haue his throte cut; with whose blood each filling a little glasse viall, they would striue to maister one another by throwing the same in the face of statue, which represen­ted the God of the gardein.

2 Herodotus a most auncient writer reports, that the Gréekes were wont yearly to celebrate the feast Asi­naria: in memorie of that notable victorie, which the Athe­nian had against the Persians, neare to the Riuer Asi­none.

1 Among all the pastimes, wherein most and least delighted concerning table play, was the game called Scarralasino, to wit, vnlead the Asse: whereat, by imitati­on of the Asse, who suffers himselfe to be ridden by all per­sons indifferently, all the standers by may play, and easi­ly learne it without any labour.

2 Schoole-children were went to put some heauie thing on their head, and binde an arme behinde being first hood winckled; then would the rest runne about him thus vsed, singing.

1 Diodorus Siculus declareth, that at such time as the Isle of Scicile was gouerned by tyrants, there was a sta­tute, that a woman offending in adultrie should frée her selfe, swearing she had not committed adulterie, being brought before the head of an Asse, which for this purpose [Page] was kept in the temple dedicated to God Bacchus.

2 There was an vse among the Gentiles, that they (in iest) willing to giue an oath to children, they would fasten a lampe at their garment, with a haubercher after the fa­shion of a long triangle, and holding thereby, say, Sweare here vpon this eare of the Asse.

Here it remaines to speake of them, that of olde haue bene named by the Asse, and of families likewise, which haue called themselues of the Asse. But because they are infinit, and all the skinnes in the land of Madiam cannot containe them: I intend only to name two, as hitherto of the rest I haue done, leauing the endlesse number of the other, to them that list imploy their paines about such a businesse.

But yet among so many, I must not forget that fa­mous nauall victory, which the auncient Persians brought with them out of Egypt: and Noacles a moste excellent Painter in those dayes, desirous to remember the same by his Arte, painted an Asse, drinking at the Riuer Ni­lus, in despight of the Crocadile: which being ouercome in power, and thus subiected, stoode patiently to see him drinke, as Plinie reporteth.

1 Then not to let passe in silence, the names of men called Asse, as their proper names, I may first alleadge the name of Asinius Gallus, who was sonne to Scipio Affri­canus.

And who desires to know an infinite number of men, both Senators & of other discents, which by proper name were called Asini, let him reade Ciceros Epistles to At­ticus, where he shall finde an endlesse beadrole.

2 Here may I wel insert the name of a famous man, a moderne Cittizen of Florence, of the auncient family of the Asini: to wit, maister Asino, whome the Historie of Florence faithfully reports, to reforme and correct the sta­tutes [Page] of the merchaunts, for which his Asse-gloring name will for euer be renowmed in that Citie.

Pindarus, and Macrobius, in the fift booke of his Satur­nalles affirmeth, that the famous Gréeke, which made the Horsse of wood, by meanes whereof the Grecians got the Citie of Troy, was called Asinon: whereas Vir­gill naming him Sinon, we may safely auouth, that the good Poet, who fauoured the Troyan part, from whence the Romanes had their originall, was procured to alter the name of the aforesaid Asinon: euen no otherwise then the Grecians did, when by publike decrée he was censured with banishment, that should speake of his name, who to get himselfe fame, set on fire the Temple of Diana at Ephesus. And so to conquere with obliuion such a famous Asinon, whose praise well deserues to liue for euer: they haue taken away his names first letter, and in stéed of Asi­non, call him Sinon.

1 We haue alreadie declared, that in Florence liues the noble Familie of the Asini.

2 In Pisa likewise is there another, and in Bologna that of the Asinelli, where also is stil celebrate the famous Tower, which the noble Asinelli in elder times erected. But to what end trouble I my wittes in this maner, see­king by the light of an Asse-friending lanthorn, for names, sirnames, and families? séeing our Poet himselfe thus sin­geth.

[Page] Beside all this, I doo not meruaile a little, séeing such an infinit company of fooles, who being honoured with the excelling name of Asse, will yet runne he adiong to brab­ble and quarrell, when setling to their weapons, they will flash and cut they care not with whom. All which hap­peneth, by reason it is no common vse, to apply the name of so Noble a beast to man: who notwithstanding cares not for the ignomie, to bee tearmed after other wicked beastes more vnbeséeming, as to be called Beare, Lyon, Dogge, and such like.

This was the cause, that our Poet mooued by a thou­sand reasons, saith;

Now procéed we to speake of the Asses Prouerbes.

1 When a man will not repeate his wordes againe, he vseth to say, It is May no more, or May is past: so things are auoyded from twise speaking. The meaning here of may be this, because the first moneth that Asses doo make knowne to the worlde, their louing nature to each other, they send foorth their goodly, swéet, and continual brayings, whereof they forme a melodious and proportionable kinde of musicke. Nor thinke I that any of our immoderne Mu­sitians can deny, but that their song is full of exceeding pleasure to be heard: because therein is to bee discerned, both concord, discord, singing the meane, the beginning to sing in large compasse, then following on, to rise and fall, the halfe note, whole note, musicke of fiue voy­ces, firme singing by foure voyces, thrée togither, [Page] or one voyce and a halfe. Then their variable contrarie­tie amongst them, when one deliuers foorth a long tenor or a short, the pausing for time, breathing in measure, brea­king the minim, halfe minim, or verie least moment of time. Last of all, to heare musicke of fiue or sixe voyces, chaunged to so many of Asses, is amongst them to heare a song of world without end.

Hence is it, that a man being so attentiue to heare this kinde of Asse musicke, cannot listen or lende his eare to what else is said to him, and therefore it is lawfull, by per­ticular priulledge of the said May moneth, to repeate the words to such, as without offence would learne them by heart: nor shall it be taken so vnmanerly done, as it were in any of the other moneths.

2 When Apuleius sawe himselfe transformed into an Asse, he resolued to shewe his maister, by the effects of all his personage, the great loue he bare him. So after the maner of the house Dogge, kéeping his hinder féete on the ground, and rising vp with his former, he so clambred vp­on his maister, as but a while before he had séene the litle Dogge doo. And albeit his kinde Assehith intent he dis­closed to his maister, yet such maner of salutation in him was not taken in good part. Hereof then it comes, that when a man suspects or misdéemes of an others familiari­tie, he vseth to say, He plaies the Asses pastime with me.

So was it went to be said; What the Asse giues in, such he receiues. But because this Prouerbe is euident­ly of it selfe, as if it were Omne agens repatitur in agendo: I will bestow no more paines in declaring it, nor yet of this which followes.

[Page] Nor likewise of this, to wit.

Nor will I stand trifeling the time, to know whence many words are deriued, which in regard of their excel­lencie, are breathed foorth but by a letter, or as we say in la­tine.

Asinus ad liram, and such like. This I say were no o­therwise, then as one meaning to walke hande in hande with a Phisitian, should sodeinly breake his head: inough is well.

Now concerning the aforesaid qualities and memorie of the Asse, it is no great meruaile, that the auncient wise men should make such a great account of the Asse, which in like manner hath often made me to admire, considering, that with all they could procure, to make the said beastes name immortall, by so many denominations as we haue séene: neuerthelesse, there is not founde any Common­wealth, any Emperour or Prince, that cared to beare this signe of the Asse, not painting him in their Scutchions, as their proper Armes, not vsing him as an imprese. The reason hereof may be, that in prouing his déeds, they haue left him to vs, who being of the Christian name, should likewise shewe the same by déedes to the worlde: bearing him for our proper Armes, because we know the simpli­citie, méeknesse, and other pleasing qualities, wherewith we haue séene the Asse to be richly endued.

Wherefore those auncient Common-weales, those Emperours and other Princes barbarous or Gentiles, [Page] which builded their gouernement vppon rapine, vye­lence, deceipt, fraude, and all other tyrannicall beha­uiour, would haue their iron customes discerned, by the Armes and impreses of terrible, bloodie, and most cruell beasts.

Heereof grewe it, that the moste proude people of Rome, tooke the Eagle for their Ensign and Armes, which is a bird most rauenous and deuouring. But in reason they should rather haue made choyse of the Goose, remem­bring they preserued their Countrey, libertie, and proper liues: when the souldiers awaked by their noyse, by the means of the Géese; defended the Capital from the French mens assault.

But notwithstanding all this, the Goose was reputed a bird too simple for them & too vigilant: euen like estéeme would they haue made of the Asse, if by his braying they had receiued the selfesame benefit.

The people of Phrigia had for their Armes, the wilde Bore, a most pernicious beast.

They of Thrace had a fleshlesse carkasse, or the image of death as wee may tearme it, for the extreamest of all things terrible.

The Gothes beare a Feare, a most irefull beast.

The Alani that assaulted and sacked Spaine, had the Marten, a very fraudfull beast.

The French heare the Lyon, a most proud beast.

The Lumbardes serued themselues with the Ensigne of the Toade, a thing which both aliue and dead is poyso­nous.

The Cimbrians, that were ouercome by Caius Mari­us, they tooke the Bull, a beast hardly tamed.

[Page] The Saxons made choyse of the Horsse, a goodly beast.

The Hebrewes beare the Scorpion in their En­signe, that carries his poyson hidden secretly in his tayle.

The Caithagenians had the Crocadile for their im­prese, a fraudelent beast and most deceitfull.

Attila, who caused himselfe to be sirnamed, the scourge of God, had in his banner the Hawke, a fowle that liues by rapine.

Antigonus, King of Soria, gaue the Eagle, that strict­ly held in her tallents a fierce Dragon.

And last of all, not Common-weales onely and great Princes, serue themselues with these beastes, fierce, bru­tish, and venemous, but likewise families, and houses of priuate Gentlemen, yea, of simple Citizens, place in their Scutchione the selfesame signalles. Whereas if they had chaunged such customes, and embraced the true Christian faith, I am perswaded it would likewise will in them, to chaunge such Armes and impreses: and in stéed of those most rauenous deuourers, to place in their Banners simple and housholde beastes, shewing thereby to the world Christian simplicitie, friendlinesse and loue, as by the Goose, the Lambe, the Turtle Dooue, and such like harmelesse things.

But beyond these, they should shewe themselues pos­sessed of all good and honourable custome, if they would take the Asse for their propper Armes, as that Noble societie of the Cittie of Vicenza hath done, who euer hath helde in estéeme, and vniuersally vsed the En­signe of the noble Asse, whiche was taken from the [Page] Paduans in a controuersie, and had long time bene hanged vpon the gallowes: because the said Communitie of Vi­cenza knew not so soone, that the people of Padua had han­ged vp the Asse, which they had sent to couenaunt with them, to giue them diuerse burthens of entrailes, which cloathed ouer and filled with hogges flesh cut into small pieces, we call a Saulsage, which by the Asses voyce was oft times specified in them. But when Vicenzians had ef­fectually executed the same, the Saulsage was imparted to the people of Padua, and the Asse taken downe from the gallowes immediately: from whence ensued this song of children, which euen vntil this day the youth of Padua vse to sing, on the hanging of the said Asse, to wit:

In a certaine part of Arcadia, the name whereof I doo not well remember, is yearly preserued a memorie of the Asse, well worthie truly to be rehearsed in this my Asse-defending discourse.

Thus then it is, vppon one certaine determinate day, an infinite number of the people runne on heapes to the market place, where from the toppe of a very high Tow­er, he or they that is appointed for the office, make an Asse to descend downe so queintly vpon certaine ropes, two ar­tificiall wingges being fastened to his shoulders, that in discent he séemeth to flie: and the multitude are wont to say after they haue dyned; Come, let vs goe into the mar­ket place, and sée the Asse flie. Nor will I spare to say, that some who holde a reuerend memorie of the Asse, gladly could affoord, that the foresaid Countrey was Empole in Tuscane: then I thinke they would imagine the better of [Page] mine Asse discourse.

Here I purposed to end my booke concerning the Asse, had I not sodeinly called to memorie, a matter worthie of great consideration, and to be preserued in minde euen to the end, for the compleate Noblenesse, excellencie and perfection of the Asse.

In the time of the Gentiles, there was a man borne blinde by nature, euen at the last steppe of his age, and the very finall moment of his life time. Among certaine cir­cumstances offered to him, he was demaunded, what espe­ciall thing more then any other he would desire to sée, if Ioue, to whose reuerence he submitted himselfe, woulde graunt, that he should sée that one thing and no more. To which demaund, without staying for any other premedi­tation, he answered, an Asse. Which reply vrged in them all an excéeding laughter, whereat the blinde man mer­uailing; said; Brethren, make not a iest of what I desire, because I imagine, that if any of you were in my case, you scant would haue the like desire. For since I came into this world (which now fulfilles a great number of yéeres) ther neuer passed one day, but that many hundred of times I haue heard and knowne that beast to bee named, and they applied him to all things whatsoeuer, that passed in spéech or could be named.

Forbeare to say, Beware the Asse, Make roome for the Asse; we may well let these passe, because I haue likewise heard said, Beware the Horsse, beware the Mule, beware the Oxe, and such like. But here rests the point, for com­mon hearing this beast to be compared, to the likenesse of mans bodie, to the vertue and vices of his minde; beside, giuing him many and sundry preheminences and preroga­tiues, well worthie of no light consideration. And to speak of some partes of resemblance to the bodie, there neuer passeth day or houre, but ye shall heare a thousand times [Page] said: Such a one is an Asse.

• He hath the face of an Asse.
• The heart of an Asse.
• The musicke of an Asse.
• The voyce of an Asse.
• The place of an Asse.
• The parts of an Asse.
• The head of an Asse.
• The eares of an Asse.
• The mouth of an Asse.
• The backe of an Asse.
• And flesht like an Asse.

Now as concerning morall vertues, fewe houres doo passe, but I heare, Such a one? Why, he is

• As wise as an Asse.
• As strong as an Asse.
• As modest as an Asse.
• As ingenious as an Asse.
• As discréet as an Asse.
• As curteous as an Asse.

With other such like vertues. Now for vices, to wit. Such a one is,

• As vicious as an Asse.
• As beastly as an Asse.
• As thanklesse as an Asse.
• As vnciuill as an Asse.

But when shall ye heare for any one respect, a beaste, [Page] thus compared to a man, in regarde of such and so many quallities, but that in the rest is séene quite contrary. Nor can they else remaine in one subiect, no more then in fire can be both heate and colde: but for proofe that they are euident in the Asse, and neuer can or shall be in any other, note what followes. Oft haue I heard, Such a one is, As

• Faire as an Asse.
• Wise as an Asse.
• Brutish as an Asse.
• Foolish as an Asse.
• Gentle as an Asse.
• Grosse witted as an Asse.
• Learned as an Asse.
• Ignorant as an Asse.
• Simple as an Asse.
• Good as an Asse.
• Sad as an Asse.
• Merie as an Asse.
• Melancholly as an Asse.
• Sléepie as an Asse.
• Watchfull as an Asse.
• Hard as an Asse.
• Tender as an Asse.
• Weary as an Asse.
• Reste like an Asse.
• Snorts like an Asse.
• Quiet as an Asse.
• Gallant as an Asse.
• Théeuish as an Asse.
• Braue as an Asse.
• Cleanly as an Asse.
• Shamelesse as an Asse.
• Manerly as an Asse.
• [Page] Rude as an Asse.
• Pleasing as an Asse.
• Obstinate as an Asse.

With other such like contradictions, as (my mind be­ing troubled) I cannot now remember, but grow almost weary in this my Asse-labour: yet mée thinkes I heare some absolutely say;

• Oh that magnificent Asse.
• That solemne Asse.
• That gentle Asse.
• That daintie Asse.

Then rusheth in another, saying;

• Thou vsest me like an Asse.
• Thou wranglest like an Asse.
• Thou laughest like an Asse.
• Thou perswadest like an Asse.
• Thou sweate [...] like an Asse.
• Thou stinkest like an Asse.
• Thou art as amorous as an Asse.
• Thou art as vnnurt [...]de as an Asse.
• Thou eatest like an Asse.
• And filest like an Asse.

In these and many other things, the Asse claimeth a generall kindred.

Among schollers in the Schoole making their argu­ments, I haue heard them say; Homo est Asinus, Brunellus est Asinus, ergo tues Asinus. With so many diuers preche­minences, prerogatiues, vertues, viced, contrarieties and denominations of the Asse, haue I so often heard, that my minde hath bene encited with most earnest desire, to sée [Page] (ere I had séene) what beast this renowmed and famous Asse was.

Now then séeming to haue spoken sufficiently, I per­swade my selfe, that any man but meanely enstructed in Sciences speculatiue, may in conclusion giue the sentence in fauour of the Asse: declaring him for the noblest of all kindes of beasts whatsoeuer remaining on the earth, ex­celling the Dogge, Horse, Ape, Lyon, or Elephant.

And as a knitting vp of my Asse-defending Treatise, I commend my selfe to their consideration, whom daily I sée to vse such Asse-like behauiour, that in all their actions (I thinke) they intend to imitate the Asse. I would haue them resolue vpon instituting a company, which might be tearmed the societie or fellowwip of the Asse: and each of them should weare a tablet about his necke, whereon the image of the Asse shuld be engrauen, to the end they might the more apparently be knowne thereby.

So taking my leaue both of you and the Asse, with this one most honoured memorie of all concerning him; Re­member the Sauiour of the world, that in all his life time had but one dayes tryumph, when hee refusing all other beasts beside, made choyse onely of the Asse, and rode ther­on in greatest maiestie to Ierusalem, yet néedes will our Poet with these verses knit vp this Treatise.