IN the yeare 1548. when the glori­ous Sunne of the Gospel was but newly ri­sen in Europe; in the daies of the raigne of Edward the Sixth of that name King of England: In the Territory, and under the Iurisdiction of the Citie of Venice, being the very border of Italy, in the [Page 2] towne of Cittadella, lived one Francis Spira, a Ci­vill Lawyer, an Advocate of great rank and esteeme, being of knowne learn­ing, & eloquence? of great experience; of carriage circumspect and severe; his speech grave & com­posed, his countenance sharpe and austere; every way befitting that autho­ritie whereunto hee was advanced; endowed vvith outward blessings, of wife, & eleven children, & wealth in abundance: what his worst parts were, I have no other [Page 3] warrant, then his owne words, which (if not tain­ted overmuch, with the bitternesse of a desperate mind, and bearing the countenance rather of passion, then of sober confession) may seeme to adde a period to all fur­ther commendations.

I was (said hee) exces­sively covetous of money, and accordingly I applyed my selfe to get by injustice, cor­rupting justice by deceit, in­venting tricks to delude ju­stice: good causes I either defended deceitfully, or sold them to the adversary perfi­diously; [Page 4] ill causes I main­tained with all my might; I wittingly opposed the known truth, and the trust commit­ted unto me, I either betray­ed or perverted. Thus ha­ving worn out forty foure yeares, or there abouts, and the news of the new, or rather newly revived opinions of Luther com­ming into those parts, re­presented an object of noveltie unto him; who being as desirous to know as hee was famous for knowledge; suffered not these wandring opinions to passe unexamined, but [Page 5] searching into the Scrip­tures, and into all bookes of Controversie that hee could get, both old and new; and finding more then fame or opinion, he began to taste their nature so well, as he entertaines, loves, and ownes them at length; and with such zeale, as he became a pro­fessor; yea a teacher of them, first to his wife, children, and family, and after to his friends, and familiar acquaintance; & in comparison, seemed to neglect all other affaires; intending ever to presse [Page 6] this maine point, that We must wholly, and only to de­pend on the free, and un­changeable love of God in the death of Christ, as the only sure way to salvation: and this was the summe of all his discourse, and this continued for the space of sixe yeares, or there abouts; even so long as this fire could keepe it selfe within private wals; but at length it brake forth into publique mee­tings; so as the whole Province of Padua daw­ned by the lustre thereof. The Clergie finding the [Page 7] trade of their pardons to decay; and their Purga­tory to waxe cold, began to bestirre themselves; glosing their actions first with calumnious aspersi­ons upon the whole pro­fession, then more plain­ly striking at Spira with grievous accusatiōs: And to effect their purpose, some promise labour, o­thers favour, some advice, others maintenance; all joyne to divide, either his soule from his body, or both from God.

Now was Iohn Casa the Popes Legate resident [Page 8] at Venice, being by birth a Florentine; and one that wanted neither malice a­gainst those of this way, nor craftines to effect his malicious purposes: To him these men repaire with outcries against Spi­ra; that hee was the man that cōdemned the recei­ved rites of the Church; deluded the Ecclesiasticall power, and scandalized the policie thereof; one of no meane ranke; being a man of Account and au­thoritie, and thereunto, learned in the Scriptures, elegant in speech; and in [Page 9] one word, a dangerous Lutheran; having also many disciples, and there­fore not to be despised.

At this began the Le­gate to cast his eye on the terrible alteration that lately had hapned in Ger­manie; where, by the means of one onely Lu­ther, the Romish Religion had suffered such a blow, as that it could neither bee cured by dissimulati­on, nor defended by power; but the Clergie must either mend their manners, or lose their dignities: on the other [Page 10] side, when hee saw how propense the common people inhabiting in the bordering countries of I­taly vvere to entertaine those new opinions, hee now thought it no time to dispute, or perswade, but with speed repaires to the Senate, and procures authoritie from them to send for Spira.

Spira by this time had considered vvith himselfe of the nature of his car­riage, how evident and notorious it vvas, and therefore subject to bee envied by such, as neither [Page 11] liked his person nor Re­ligion, hee perceived that his opinions were nei­ther retyred nor specula­tive, but such as aymed at the overthrovv of the Romish Faction, and at change of Policie, vvherein at the best, he could expect but a blou­dy victory, and that his enemies vvanted neither povver nor occasion to call him to account in publique, vvhen he must either Apostatize, and shamefully give his for­mer life, yea his ovvn con­science the lye, or endure [Page 12] the utmost malice of his deadly enemies, or for­sake his wife, children, friends, goods, authoritie; yea, his deare Countrey; and betake himselfe to a forraigne people, there to endure a thousand mi­series, that do continually waite upon a voluntary exile. Being thus distract­ed, and tossed in the rest­lesse waves of doubt, without guid to trust to, or haven to flye to for suc­cour; on the sudden Gods Spirit assisting, hee felt a calme, and began to di­scourse with himselfe in [Page 13] this manner:

Why wandrest thou thus in uncertainties, unhappy man; cast away feare, put on thy shield, the shield of faith; Where is thy wonted courage, thy goodnesse, thy constancie? remember that Christs glorie lies at the stake, suffer thou without feare, and hee will defend thee, hee will tell thee what thou shalt answer; hee can beat downe all danger, bring thee out of prison, raise thee from the dead; consider Pe­ter in the dungeon, the Mar­tyrs in the fire, if thou ma­kest a good confession, thou [Page 14] mayest indeed goe to prison, or death, but an eternall re­ward in heaven remaines for thee; What hast thou in this world comparable to e­ternall life, to everlasting happinesse? if thou dost o­therwise, thinke of the scan­dall; (common people live by example, thinking what e­ver is done, is well done) feare the losse of peace and joy, feare hell, death, and e­ternall wrath; or if thy flesh be so strong, as to cause thee to doubt of the issue, flie thy Countrie; get thee away, though never so far, rather then denie the Lord of Life.

[Page 15] Now was Spira in reasonable quiet, be­ing resolved to yeeld to these weightie reasons; yet holding it wisedome to examine all things, hee consults also with flesh and bloud; thus the battaile doth re­new, and the flesh be­ginnes in this manner: Bee well advised, fond man, consider reasons on both sides, and then judge: how canst thou thus o­verweene thine owne suf­ficiencie, as thou neither regardest the examples of thy Progenitors; nor [Page 16] the judgment of the whole Church; dost thou not con­sider what miserie this thy rashnesse will bring thee unto? thou shalt lose thy sub­stance, gotten with so much care and travell, thou shalt undergoe the most exqui­site torments that malice it selfe can devise, thou shalt bee counted an heretique of all: and to close up all, thou shalt die shamefully. What thinkest thou of the loath­some stinking dungeon, the bloudie axe, the burning fagot, are they delightfull? Bee wise at length, and keepe thy life and honour, [Page 17] thou maist live to do much good to good men, as God commands thee, thou maist be an ornament to thy Coun­trie; and put case thy Coun­tries losse would bee of small esteeme with thee; Wilt thou bring thy friends also into danger? thou hast begotten children, wilt thou now cut their throats, & inhumane­ly butcher them, which may in time bring honor to their Countrie, glorie to God, helpe and furtherance to his Church: goe to the Legate weake man, freely confesse thy fault, and helpe all these miseries. Thus did the [Page 18] cares of this world, and the deceitfullnesse of ri­ches, choke the good Seed that was formerly sowne; so as fearing, hee faints, and yeelds unto the al­lurements of this present world, & being thus blin­ded, he goes to the Legate at Venice, and salutes him with this news.

Having for these divers yeares entertained an opi­nion concerning some Arti­cles of faith, contrary to the Orthodox and received judgement of the Church; and uttered many things a­gainst the authoritie of the [Page 19] Church of Rome, and the universall Bishop: I hum­blie acknowledge my fault and errour, and my folly in misleading others: I there­fore yeeld my selfe in all o­bedience to the Supreme Bi­shop, into the bosome of the Church of Rome; never to depart again from the Tra­ditions and Decrees of the holy See: I am heartily sor­ry for what is past; and I humbly begge pardon forso great an offence.

The Legate perceiving Spira to faint, he pursues him to the utmost; hee causeth a recitation of all [Page 20] his Errours to be drawne in writing, together with the Confession annexed to it, and commands Spi­ra to subscribe his name there, which accordingly he did; then the Legate commands him to return to his owne Towne; and there to declare this Con­fession of his, and to ac­knowledg the whole Do­ctrine of the Church of Rome to be holy, and true; and to abjure the Opini­ons of Luther, and other such Teachers, as false, & hereticall: Man knowes the beginnings of sinne, but [Page 21] who bounds the issues there­of? Spira having once lost footing, goes downe a­maine, he cannot stay, nor gaine-say the Legate; but promiseth to accomplish his whole will and plea­sure; he soone addresseth himselfe for his Iourney, and being onward in the way, bethinks himselfe of large spoyles hee had brought away from the Conflict with the Le­gate: what glorious te­stimony hee had given of his great faith, and con­stancie in Christs cause: and to be plaine, how im­piously [Page 22] hee had denyed Christ, and his Gospell at Venice; and what he pro­mised to do further in his owne Country; and thus partly with feare, and partly with shame being confounded; he thought he heard a voyce speaking unto him in this manner.

Spira, What dost thou heere? whither goest thou? hast thou unhappy man, gi­ven thy hand-writing to the Legate at Venice; yet see thou dost not seale it in thine owne Countrey: dost thou indeed thinke eternall life so meane, as that thou pre­ferrest [Page 23] this present life be­fore it? dost thou well in pre­ferring wife and children before Christ? is the windie applause of the people, bet­ter indeed then the glorie of God; and the possession of this worlds good more deare to thee, then the salvation of thine owne Soule? is the small use of a moment of time more desireable, then eternall wrath is dreadfull? Thinke with thy selfe what Christ endured for thy sake; is it not equall thou shouldest suffer somewhat for him? Remember, man, that the sufferings of this present [Page 24] life, are not comparable to the glorie that shall bee re­vealed: if thou sufferest with him, thou shalt also raigne with him: thou canst not answer for what thou hast alreadie done; never­thelesse, the gate of mercie is not quite shut, take heed that thou heapest not sinne upon sinne, lest thou repent when it will be too late.

Now was Spira in a wildernesse of doubts, not knowing which way to turne him, nor what to doe, yet being arrived in his owne Countrey, and amongst his friends, with [Page 25] shame enough hee relates what he had done, and what he had further pro­mised to doe; and how the terrors of God on the one side, and the terrour of this world on the o­ther side, did continually racke him; and therefore hee desired of them ad­vise in this so doubtfull a case: his friends upon small deliberation an­swered; that it was requi­site hee should take heed that hee did not in any wise betray his wife and children, and all his friends into danger, see­ing [Page 26] that by so smal a mat­ter as the reciting of a little Schedule, which might bee done in lesse space then half an houre, he might both free him­selfe from present danger, and preserve many that depended upon him; ad­ding moreover, that hee could get no Credit in re­lenting from that which he had already in greatest part performed before the Legate at Venice, and that in the perfect accom­plishing thereof, little or no discredit could arise, more then what by the [Page 27] former action already he had sustained: on the other side, if hee did not performe his promise made to the Legate, hee could neither discharge himselfe of the shame which he had already in­curred; nor avoyd farre more heavy and insup­portable injuries, then probably he should have endured, if hee had per­sisted obstinately in his former Opinions.

This was the last blow of the battaile, and Spira utterly overcome, goes to the Praetor, and proffers [Page 28] to performe his foresaid promise made to the Le­gate, who in the meane time had taken order to have all things ready, and had sent the instrument of abjuration signed by Spira, to the Praetor, by the hands of a certaine Priest. All that night the miserable man ware out with restlesse cares, with­out any minute of rest; the next morning being come, he gets up, and be­ing ready, he desperately enters into the publique Congregation, where Masse being finished, in [Page 29] the presence of friends and enemies, and of the whole Assembly; being by estimation neere two thousand people; yea, and of Heaven it selfe, he recites that infamous ab­juration, word for word, as it was written: it be­ing done, he was fined at thirtie pieces of gold, which he presently paid: five whereof were given to the Priest that brought the abjuration, the other twentie five were im­ployed towards the ma­king of a Shryne to put the Eucharist in; then was [Page 30] he sent home restored to his Dignities; goods, wife, and children: No sooner was hee departed, but he thought hee heard a direfull voyce, saying to him; thou wicked wretch, thou haste denyed mee, thou hast renounced the co­venant of thy obedience, thou hast broken thy vow, hence Apostate, beare with thee the sentence of thy eter­nall damnation: hee trem­bling and quaking in body and mind, fell down in a swoune; reliefe was at hand for the body, but from that time for­wards, he never found [Page 31] any [...] minde▪ but [...] in uncessant torment [...] professed that he was captived under the re­venging hand of the great God: that hee heard con­tinually that fearefull sen­tence of Christ that just Iudge▪ that hee knew he was utterly undone: that he could neither hope for grace, nor Christs inter­cessiō w ^th God the Father in his behalfe: thus was his fault ever heavy on his heart, and ever his Iudge­ment before his eyes.

Now began his friends [Page 32] some of them to repent too late of their rash counsell; others not look­ing so high as the Iudge­ment of God, laid all the blame upon his Melan­cholicke constitution; that overshadowing his judgment, wrought in him a kinde of madnesse: every on censured as his fancy led him, yet for re­medy all agreed in this, to use both the whole­some helpe of Physicians, and the pious advise of Divines, and therefore thought it meet to convey him to Padua, an Vniver­sitie [Page 33] of note, where plenty of all manner of meanes was to be had: this they accordingly did, both with his wife, children, and whole family; others also of his friends accom­panying him: and being arrived at the house of one Iames Ardin, in Saint Leonards, Parish, they sent for three Physicians of most note, who upon due observation of the effects, & of other Symp­tomes of his disease, and some private conference one with another, among themselves, returned their [Page 34] verdict in this manner, viz. That they could not discerne that his body was afflicted with any danger or distemper ori­ginally from it selfe, by reason of the over-ruling of any humour; but that this Maladie of his did a­rise from some griefe, or passion of his minde, which being overbur­thened, did so oppresse the spirits, as they wan­ting free passage, stirred up many ill humours, whereof the body of man is full; & these ascending up into the braine, trou­bled the fancie; shadowed [Page 35] the seat of the judgment, and so corrupted it: this was the state of his di­sease, and that outward part that was visible to the eye of nature, this they endeavoured to reforme by purgation, either to consume, or at least to di­vert the course of those humors from the braine; but all their skil effected nothing, which Spira noting, said: Alas poore men, how farre wide are you; doe you thinke that this di­sease is to be cured by po­tions; beleeve mee there must bee another manner of [Page 36] medicine, it is neither poti­ons, plaisters, nor drugs, that can helpe a fainting soule cast downe with sense of sinne, and the wrath of God; it is onely Christ that must bee the Physician, and the Gospel the sole Antidote.

The Physicians easily beleeved him, after they had understood the whol truth of the matter, and therfore they wished him to seeke some spirituall comfort. By this time the fame of this man was spred over all Padua, and the neighbour Countrey, partly for that he was a [Page 37] man of Esteeme, partly because as the disease, so the occasion was especial­ly remarkeable; for this vvas not done in a cor­ner: so as daily there came multitudes of all sorts to see him: some out of curiositie onely to see and discourse: some out of a pious desire to try all meanes that might reduce him to comfort againe, or at least to benefit them­selves, by such a spectacle of misery, and of the ju­stice of God. Amongst these, Paulus Vergerius Bishop of Iustinopolis, and [Page 38] Mattheus Gribauldus, de­serve especially to bee named, as the most prin­cipall labourers for this mans comfort. They finde him now about fif­tie years of age, neither affected with the dotage of old age, nor with the unconstant headstrong passion of youth, but in the strength of his expe­rience and judgment; in a burning heat calling ex­cessively for drinke; yet his understanding active, quicke of apprehension, wittie in discourse above his ordinary manner, and [Page 39] judiciously opposite: his friends laboured him by all faire meanes to receive some nourishment, which he obstinately gaine-say­ing, they forcibly infused some liquid sustenance into his mouth, most of which he spit out againe; exceedingly chafing, and in this fretting mood of his, said: As it is true that all things worke for the best to those that love God; Rom. 8. 28. so to the wicked all are con­trary: for whereas a plenti­full off-spring is the blessing of God, and his reward, be­ing a stay to the weak estate [Page 40] of their aged parents; to me they are a cause of bitter­nesse and vexation; they doe strive to make mee tire out this misery; I would faine be at an end; I deserve not this dealing at their hands; O that I were gone from hence, that some body would let out this weary Soule.

His friends saluted him, and asked him, what hee conceived to be the cause of his disease; forth­with he brake out into a lamentable discourse of the passages formerly re­lated, & that with such passionate Elocution, that [Page 41] hee caused many to weep & most to tremble. They contrarily to comfort him, propounded many of Gods promises recor­ded in the Scripture; and many examples of Gods mercy: My sinne (said he) is greater then the mercy of God. Nay, answered they, the mercy of God is above all sin; God would have all men to be saved: It is true (quoth he) hee would have all that he hath elected, [...]bee s [...]aved; he would not have damned reprobates to be saved; I am one of that number; I know it, for I [Page 42] willingly, and against my knowledge denied Christ; and I feele that hee har­dens, and will not suffer me to hope.

After some silence, one asked him whether hee did not beleeve that Do­ctrine (to bee true) for which hee was accused before the Legate; hee answered; I did beleeve it when I denied it, but now I neither beleeve that, nor the Doctrine of the Ro­mane Church; I beleeve nothing, I have no faith, no trust, no hope; I am a Re­probate like Cain, or Iudas, [Page 43] who casting away all hope of mercy, fell into despaire; and my friends doe mee great wrong, that they suffer me not to goe to the place of unbe­leevers as I justly deserve.

Heere they beganne sharpely to rebuke him; requiring, and charging him that in any wise hee did not violate the mercy of God; to which he an­swered: The mercy of God is exceeding large and ex­tends to all the elect; but not to mee, or any like to mee, who are sealed up to wrath: Rom. 2. 15. I tell you I de­serve it, my owne conscience [Page 44] condemnes me; what need­eth any other Iudge. Christ came (said they) to take away sinne, and calling for a book, they read un­to him the passion of Christ, and comming to his nayling to the Crosse, Spira said: This indeed is comfortable to such as are elected, but as for me wretch, they are nothing but griefe and torment, because I con­temned them. Thus roaring for griefe, & tossing him­self up & downe upon the bed as he lay, he intreated them to read no more: As Gribauldus was comming [Page 45] to see him, Vergerius said to Spira, deare Sir heere is Doctor Gribauldus, a godly and faithfull friend of yours, come to see you: He is welcome (said he) but hee shall find mee ill: Gribauldus replyed, Sir, this is but an illusion of the divell, who doth what he can to vexe you; but turne you to God with your whole heart, and he is ready to shew you mer­cy; the earth you know is full of his mercy; it is He that hath said, Ps. 119. that as often as a sinner repents of his sinne, hee will remember his [Page 46] sinnes no more. Consider this in the example of Pe­ter that was Christs fa­miliar, and an Apostle; and yet denied him thrice with an oath, and yet God was mercifull unto him: consider the theefe that spent his whole life in wickednesse, and for all that, did not God graci­ously respect him in the last minute of his life? Is the Lords hand now shortned that it cannot save? to this Spira answe­red; Luk. 27. 61. ‘If Peter grieved and repented, it was be­cause Christ beheld him [Page 47] with a mercifull eye; and in that he was par­doned, it was not be­cause hee wept, but be­cause God was gracious to him: but God re­spects not me, and there­fore I am a reprobate: I feel no comfort can en­ter into my heart, there is no place there but onely for torments and vexings of spirit: I tell you my case is properly mine own; no man ever was in the like plight, and therefore my estate is fearefull.’

Then roaring out in [Page 48] the bitternesse of his spi­rit, said: It is a fearefull thing to fall into the hands of the living God: the vio­lence of his passion and action sutable, did a­maze many of the behol­ders; insomuch as some of them said with a whis­pering voyce, that he was possessed; hee over-hea­ring it, said: Doe you doubt it? I have a whole Legion of divels that take up their dwellings within mee, and possesse me as their owne; and justly too, for I have denyed Christ. Whe­ther did you that willing­ly [Page 49] or not (said they) That is nothing to the purpose (said Spira) Christ saith, whoso­ever denies mee before men, Matt. 10. 33. him will I deny before my Father which is in Heaven: Christ will not bee denied, no not in word; and there­fore it is enough, though in heart I never denied him.

They observing his di­stemper to arise from the sense and horror of the paines of hell, asked him whether he thought there were worse paines then what he endured for the present; he said, that he knew there were far worse [Page 50] paines then those that hee then suffered: Psal. 1. for the wic­ked shall rise to their judge­ment, but they shall not stand in Iudgement: this I trem­ble to thinke of: yet doe I desire nothing more, then that I might come to that place, where I may bee sure to feele the worst, and to be freed from feare of worse to come.

I but you are to consi­der (said one) that those opinions for which you were accused before the Legate were impious; and therefore you are not to thinke you denied [Page 51] Christ, but rather that you confessed him, ac­knowledging the infalli­ble truth of the Catholike Church. Truly (said he) when I did denie those opi­nions, I did think them to be true, & yet I did deny them.

Goe to (said others) now then beleeve that they are not. Now I can­not (said hee) God will not suffer mee to beleeve them, nor trust in his mer­cy: What would you have mee doe? I would faine attaine to this power, but cannot, though I should pre­sently be burnt for it. But [Page 52] why doe you (said the o­ther) esteeme this so grie­vous a sinne, when as the learned Legate constrai­ned you to it, which hee surely would not have done, if your former o­pinions had not beene Erroneous: no, good Francis, the divell besets thee, let not therefore the grievousnesse of thy sin, (if anie such be) amaze thee. ‘You say right ( re­plyed he) the divell hath possest mee, and God hath left me to his pow­er; for I finde I can nei­ther beleeve the Gospel, [Page 53] nor trust in Gods mer­cie; I have sinned a­gainst the holy Ghost; and God by his im­mutable Decree, hath bound mee over to per­petuall punishment, without anie hope of pardon; Rom. 9. 11. and Rom. 4. It is true that the greatnesse of sin, or the multitude of them, cannot bind Gods mer­cie: all those manie sins that in the former part of my life I have com­mitted, then did not so much trouble mee, for I trusted that God would not lay them to my [Page 54] charge: but now ha­ving sinned against the holy Ghost, God hath taken away from me all power of repentance, & now brings all my sins to remembrance, Iam. 2. 10. and thus guiltie of one, guil­tie of all. And there­fore it is no matter whe­ther my sinnes be great or small, few or many; they are such as Christ's bloud,’ nor Gods mercie ‘belongs to mee: Rom. 9. 18. God will have mercie on whom hee will have mercie; and whom he will he hardneth; this is [Page 55] it that gnaws my heart, hee hath hardned mee; and I finde that he daily more and more doth harden mee; and there­fore I am out of hope: I feele it, and therefore cannot but despaire: I tell you, there was never such a monster as I am; never was man alive a spectacle of so excee­ding misery: I knew that justification is to be expected by Christ; and I denied, and abjured it; to the end I might keepe this fraile life from adversitie, and [Page 56] my children from po­vertie; and now be­hold, how bitter this life is to mee; and God only knowes, what shall become of this my family; but surely no good is likely to betide it, but rather daily worse and worse; and such a ruin at the length as that one stone shall not be left on another.’

But why should you (said Gribauldus) conceit so deepely of your sinne, seeing you cannot but know that manie have denied Christ, yet never [Page 57] fell into despaire? ‘Well ( said hee) I can see no ground of comfort for such, neither can I war­rant them from Gods revēging hand in wrath; though it pleaseth God yet to suffer such to bee in peace: and besides, there will a time of change come, and then they shall be throughly tryed: and if it were not so, yet God is just in making mee an Ex­ample to others; and I cannot justly complain: there is no punishment so great but I have de­served [Page 58] it, for this so heinous offence: I as­sure you it is no small matter to denie Christ; and yet it is more ordi­nary then commonly men doe conceive of: it is not a deniall made before a Magistrate as it is with mee; for as of­ten as a Christian doth dissemble the knowne truth, as often as hee approves of false wor­ship, by presenting him­selfe at it, so often as hee doth not things worthy of his calling, or such things as are un­worthy [Page 59] of his calling: so often hee denies Christ: thus did I, and therefore am justly pu­nished for it.’

Your estate (quoth Gri­bauldus) is not so strange as you make it; Iob was so farre gone, that hee complained God had set him as a marke against him: and David that was a man after Gods owne heart, complained often that God had forsaken him, and was become his enemy; yet both recei­ved comfort againe com­fort your selfe therefore, [Page 60] God will come at length, though hee now seeme farre off.

‘O Brother ( answered Spira) I beleeve all this; the divels beleeve and tremble; but David was ever elected and deare­ly beloved of God; and though he fell, yet God tooke not utterly away his holy Spirit; and therefore was heard when he prayed, Lord take not thy holy Spirit from mee: but I am in another case, being ever accursed from the pre­sence of God: neither [Page 61] can I pray as he did, be­cause his holy Spirit is quite gone, and cannot be recalled; & therefore I know I shall live in continuall hardnesse so long as I live: O that I might feele but the least sense of the love of God to mee, though but for one small moment, as I now feele his heavie wrath that burnes like the torments of hell within mee, and afflicts my Conscience with pangs unutterable; ve­rily desperation is hell it selfe.’

[Page 62] Heere Gribauldus said, I doe verily beleeve, Spira, that God having so se­verely chastised you in this life, correcteth you in mercie heere, that he may spare you hereafter, and that he hath mercies sea­led up for you in time to to come.

Nay ( said Spira) hence doe I know that I am a re­probate, because he afflicteth mee with hardnesse of heart: Oh that my body had suffered all my life long, so that hee would bee pleased to release my soule, and ease my Consci­ence, this burthened Consci­ence.

[Page 63] Gribauldus being desi­rous to ease his minde from the continuall me­ditation of his sinne; as also to sound how for the present he stood affected to the Romish Church; asked him what hee thought became of the soules of men so soone as they departed out of the bodie, to which hee an­swered.

Although this bee not so fully revealed in Scripture; yet I verily beleeve that the soules of the Elect goe pre­sently to the Kingdome of glory; and not that sleep with [Page 64] the bodie as some doe ima­gine.

Verie well; said one of the spectators, why doe the Scriptures then say, that God brings downe to hell, 1 Sam. 2. 6. and raiseth up; seeing it cannot be meant of the estate of the soule after death, which as thou sayest, either goeth to heaven without change, or to hell without re­demption: it must be un­derstood of the estate of the soule in this life; like that wherein thou art at this present: and often­times wee see that God [Page 65] suffers men to fall into the jawes of despaire, and yet raiseth them up again, and therefore despaire not, but hope; it shall bee even thus with thee in his good time.

This is the worke, ( quoth Spira) this the labour; for I tell you, when I at Venice did first abjure my professi­on, and so, as it were, drew an Indenture, the Spirit of God often admonisht mee; and when at Cittadella, I did, as it were, set to my seale; the Spirit of God of­ten suggested to mee, Doe not write Spira, do not seale; [Page 66] yet I resisted the Holy Ghost, and did both; and at that very present I did evi­dently feele a wound infli­cted in my very will, so al­though I can say, I would be­leeve; yet can I not say I will beleeve; God hath de­nied mee the power of will; and it befalls mee in this my miserable estate, as with one that is fast in irons, and his friends comming to see him, doe pitie his estate, and doe perswade him to shake off his setters, and to come out of his bonds; which God knows hee would faine doe, but cannot, this is my very case; [Page 67] you perswade me to beleeve: how faine would I doe it, but cannot? O now I cannot. Then violently grasping his hands together, and raising himselfe up: Be­hold ( said he) I am strong, yet by little and little I decay and consume, and my ser­vants would faine preserve this weary life; but at length the will of God must be done, and I shall perish miserably as I deserve: rejoyce yee righteous in the Lord; Psal. 32. 11. bles­sed are you whose hearts the Lord hath mollified.

Then after some pause; It is wonderfull, I earnestly [Page 68] desire to pray to God with my heart, yet I cannot; I see my damnation, and I know my remedy is onlie in Christ, yet I cannot set my selfe to laie hold on it; such are the punishments of the dam­ned; they confesse what I confesse, they repent of their losse of heaven, they envie the Elect, yet their re­pentance doth them no good, for they cannot mend their waies.

As he was thus speak­ing, hee observed divers flies that came about him, and some lighted on him: Behold ( said hee) now [Page 69] also Signi­fies the god of flies. Belzebub comes to his banquet, you shall short­ly see my end, and in mee an example to manie of the ju­stice & judgement of God.

About this time came in two Bishops with di­vers Schollers of the Vniversity, one of them being Paulus Vergerius, having observed Spira more then any other, bee­ing continually conver­sant with him, told him his estate was such, as ra­ther stood in need of Pray­er then advice; and there­fore desired him to pray with him in the Lords [Page 70] Prayer; Spira consented, and he began.

Our Father which art in heaven,) then breaking forth into teares, he stop­ped; but they said, it is well, your griefe is a good signe: ‘I bewaile (said he) my miserie, for I perceive I am forsaken of God, and cannot call to him from my heart,’ as I was wont to doe; yet let us goe on, said Verge­rius.

Thy Kingdome come;) ‘O Lord (said Spira) bring mee also into this Kingdome; I beseech [Page 71] thee shut mee not out.’ Then comming to those words; Give us this day our daily bread; he added; ‘O Lord, I have enough and abundance to feed this carkeise of mine; but there is another bread, I humbly begge the bread of thy grace; without which, I know I am but a dead man.’

Leade us not into temp­tation;) ‘seeing Lord that I am brought into temptation, helpe mee Lord that I may escape; the enemie hath over­come; helpe mee, I be­seech [Page 72] thee, to overcome this cruell Tyrant.’

These things hee spake with a mournfull voyce, the teares trickling down abundantly; and expres­sing such affection and passion, as turned the bowels of those there present, with griefe and compunction; they then turning to Spira, said: You know that none can call Christ Iesus the Lord, but by the Holie Ghost: you must therefore think of your selfe according to that soft affection, which you expresse in your [Page 73] prayers, inferring there­by that God hath not wholly cast you off; or bereaved you of his Spirit utterly.

I perceive (said Spi­ra) that I call on him to my eternall damnation; for I tell you againe, it is a new and unheard of example that you finde in me: If Iu, das (said they) had but outlived his dayes, which by nature hee might have done; hee might have repented, and Christ would have received him to mercie; and yet hee sinned most grievously [Page 74] against his Master, which did so esteeme of him, as to honour him with the dignitie of an Apostle, and did maintaine and feed him: Hee answered, ‘Christ did also feed and honour mee, neither yet is my fault one jot lesse then that of his; be­cause it is not more ho­nour to bee personally present with Christ in the flesh, then to bee in his presence now by il­lumination of his holy Spirit: and besides, I denie that ever Iudas could have repented, [Page 75] how long soever he had lived; for grace was quite taken from him, as it is now from mee.’

O Spira (said they) you know you are in a spiri­tuall desertion; you must therefore not beleeve what Satan suggests; hee was ever a lyar from the be­ginning, and a meere Im­postour, and will cast a thousand lying fancies in­to your minde, to beguile you withall; you must ra­ther beleeve those whom you judge to be in a good estate, and more able to discerne of you then your [Page 76] selfe; beleeve us, and wee tell you, that God will be mercifull unto you.

O here is the knot ( said Spira) I would I could be­leeve; But I cannot.

Then he began to rec­kon up what fearefull dreames and visions, hee was continually trou­bled withall; that hee saw the divels come floc­king into his Chamber, and about his bed, ter­rifying him with strange noises; that these were not fancies, but that hee saw them as really as the standers by; and that [Page 77] besides these outward terrours, hee felt continu­ally, a racking torture of his minde, and a continu­all butchery of his consci­ence, being the very pro­per pangs of the damned wights in hell.

Cast these fancies (said Gribauldus) these are but illusions, humble your selfe in the presence of God, and praise him.

‘The dead praise not the Lord (answered he) nor they that goe down into the pit: Psal. 6. 5. wee that are drowned in de­spaire, are dead and [Page 78] are already gone downe into the pit: what hell can there be worse then desperation; or what greater punishment? the gnawing worme, un­quenchable fire, hor­rour; confusion, and (which is worse then all) desperation it selfe continually tortures me; and now I count my present estate worse then if my soule (sepa­rated from my body) were with Iudas and the rest of the damned; and therefore, I now desire rather to be there, [Page 79] then thus to live in the body.’

One being present, re­peated certaine words out of the Psalmes: Psal. 89. 30. If thy children forsake my law and walk not in my judg­ments; I will visite their transgressions with rods, and their iniquities with stripes; neverthelesse my loving kindnesse I will not utterly take from them, nor suffer my faith­fulnesse to faile: Marke this, O Spira, my Cove­nant I will not breake.

These promises ( said Spira) belong onely to the [Page 80] elect, which if tempted, may fall into sin, but are againe lifted up and recovered out: as the Prophet saith, though he fall, he shall not be utter­ly cast downe, for the Lord uphouldeth him: Therefore Peter could rise, for he was Elected, but the reprobate when they fall cannot rise a­gaine, as appeares in Cain, Saule, and Iudas: God deales one way with the Elect, and another way with Reprobates.

The next day hee pray­ed with them in the La­tine tongue, and that with excellent affection, as out­wardly [Page 81] appeared, blessed bee God (said Vergerius) these are no signes of e­ternall reprobation: you must not O Spira, seeke out the secret counsels of Gods election and re­probation, for no man can know so long as hee lives, whether by his good or bad deeds, hee bee worthy of Gods love or anger: Eccles. 9. 1. Psal. 88. 14. doe you not know that the Prophet David complained, that God had cast off his Soule.

I know all this ( quoth Spira) I know the mercies [Page 82] of God are infinite, and doe surpasse the sinnes of the whole world, and that they are effectuall to all that be­leeve, but this faith, and this hope, is the gift of God; O that hee would give it mee; but it is as impossible as to drinke up the Sea at a draught: as for that of So­lomon, if hee had ever tri­ed that which I feele by woe­full experience; hee would never have spoken as he did; but the truth is, never had mortall man, such an evi­dent experience of Gods an­ger and hatred against him, as I have; you that are in a [Page 83] good estate, thinke repen­tance and faith to be workes of great facilitie, and there­fore you thinke it an easie matter to perswade a man to beleeve; the whole need not the Physician; and hee that is well, can soone give coun­sell to such as are ill; but this is the hell to mee, my heart is hardned, I cannot beleeve; many are called, but few are chosen.

Vpon what grounds (said they) doe you con­ceive so ill an opinion of your selfe?

‘I once did know God to bee my Father, not [Page 84] onely by creation; but by regeneration, I knew him by his beloved Sonne, the authour and finisher of our Salvati­on; I could pray to him, and hope for pardon of sinnes from him; I had a taste of his sweet­nesse, peace, and com­fort: now contrarily, I know God not as a Father but as an enemy; what more? my heart hates God, and seekes to get above him: I have nothing else to flie to but terrour & despaire.’

Belike you thinke then [Page 85] (said they) that those who have the earnest and first fruits of Gods Spirit, may notwithstanding fall away?

‘The judgements of God are a deepe abisse, ( said he) wee are soone drowned if we enter in­to them; he that thinks he standeth, let him take heed lest hee fall: as for my selfe, I know I am falne backe; and that I once did know the truth; though it may be not so throughly: I know not what else to say, but that I am one of [Page 86] that number, which God hath threatned to teare in pieces.’

Say not so (answered they) for God may come, though at the last houre; keepe hold therefore, at the least by hope.

‘This ( quoth he) is my case I tell you I cannot, God hath deprived mee of hope; this brings ter­ror to my minde, and pines this hodie which now is so weake, as it cannot performe the se­verall offices thereof: Rom. 8. 16. for as the Elect have the Spirit testifying that [Page 87] they are the sonnes of God, so the Reprobates even while they live, do often feele a worme in their conscience, where­by they are condemned already, and therefore as soone as I perceived this wound inflicted on my minde and will, I I knew that I wanted the gifts of saving grace, and that I was utterly undone; 1 Cor. 11. 33. God chasteneth his children with tem­porarie afflictions, Rom. 1. 28. that they may come as gold out of the fire; but pu­punisheth the wicked [Page 88] with blindnesse in their understandings, & hard­nesse of heart; and woe be to such, from whom God takes his holie Spi­rit.’

Here one rebuked him, and told him, he gave too much credit to sence, that hee was not to beleeve himselfe, but rather him that was in a good estate, and I testifie to you (said he) that God will be mer­cifull to you.

Nay ( answered he) for because I am in this ill e­state; therfore can I beleeve nothing but what is contrarie [Page 89] to my salvation and comfort; but you that are so confident of your good state, looke that it bee true, for it is no such small matter to be assured of sinceritie: a man had need bee exceeding stronglie grounded in the Truth, be­fore hee can bee able to af­firme such a matter as you now doe; it is not the per­formance of a few outward duties, but a mightie con­stant labour, with all inten­tion of heart and affection; with full desire and endea­vour, continually to set forth Gods glorie; there must bee neither feare of Legates, [Page 90] Inquisitors, Prisons, nor anie death whatsoever; ma­nie thinke themselves hap­pie that are not; it is not e­very one that saith, Lord, Lord; that shall goe to heaven.

They came another day and found him with his eyes shut, as if hee had beene drowzie, and verie loath to discourse; at which time there came in also a grave man from Cittadella; who deman­ded of Spira, if hee knew him, Matth. 7. 22. or not; he lifting up his eye-lids and not sud­denly remembring him, [Page 91] the man said to him; I am Presbiter Antonie Fontanina; I was with you at Venice, some 8. weeks since: ‘O cur­sed day (sayd Spira) O cursed day: O that I had never gone thi­ther, would God I had then died.’

Afterwards came in a Priest called Bernardi­nus Sardoneus: bringing with him a booke of Exorcismes, to conjure this divell: whom when Spira saw, shaking his head he said:

‘I am verily perswa­ded [Page 92] indeed, that God hath left mee to the power of the divells: but such they are, as are not to be found in your Letanie: neither will they be cast out by spels:’ The Priest pro­ceeding in his intended purpose; with a strange uncouth gesture, and a loud voice, adjured the Spirit to come into Spi­ra's tongue, and to an­swer: Spira deriding his fruitlesse labour, with a sigh turned from him. A Bishop being there present, said to Spira, [Page 93] brother God hath put vertue into the Word and Sacraments: and wee have used the one means, and find not that effect which we desire: shall we trie the efficacie of the Sacraments, surely if you take it as a true Christian ought to re­ceive, the body and bloud of Christ, it will proove a soveraigne me­dicine for your sicke soule.

‘This I cannot do (answered hee) for they that have no right to the promises, have [Page 94] no right to the seales: the Eucharist was ap­pointed onely for be­leevers: if wee have not faith, we eate and drinke judgement to our selves: 1 Cor. 11. 29. I received it about a moneth since, but I did not well in so doing, for I tooke it by con­straint, and so I tooke it to my deeper con­demnation.’

Here Vergerius began to importune him ear­nestly to beware, that he did not wilfully resist grace, & put himself out [Page 95] of haven: charging him vehemently, by all the love that was betweene them: by the love which hee bare to his chil­dren, yea to his owne soule: that he would set himselfe seriously, to re­turne to that faith and hope, which once hee had in the death of Christ, with many such like words: Spira ha­ving heard much of the like matter formerlie: & being somewhat mo­ved, said, ‘You do but repeat Vergerius, what should I hope? why [Page 96] should I beleeve? God hath taken faith from mee: shew mee then whither I shall goe: shew mee a haven whereto I shall retire: you tell mee of Gods mercy, when as God hath cast mee off: you tell mee of Christs in­tercession, I have de­nied him: you com­mand mee to beleeve, I say I cannot: you bring mee no com­fort: your command is as impossible for me to obey, as to keep the Morall Law: if [Page 97] you should perswade one to love God, with all his heart, soule and strength; and God gives him not the power, can he per­forme your desire? doth not the church teach us to sing; direct us, O Lord, to love thy commandements: hy­pocrites say that they love God with all their heart, but they lye: for my part, I will not lye, but tell you plainely; such is my case, that though you should never so much [Page 98] much importune mee to hope or beleeve, though I desire it, yet I cannot: for God (as a punishment of my wickednesse) hath ta­ken away from me all his saving graces; faith, hope, and all: I am not the man therefore that you take mee for: belike you thinke I delight in this estate; if I could conceive but the least sparke of hope of a better estate hereaf­ter, I would not re­fuse to endure the [Page 99] most heavie weight of the wrath of that great God; yea, for twenty thousand years, so that I might at length attaine to the end of that misery, which I now know will bee eternall; but I tell you, my will is wounded: who longs more to be­leeve then I doe? but all the ground-worke of my hope is quite gone; for if the te­stimonies of holy Scripture bee true (as they are most certainly [Page 100] true) is not this as true: whosoever de­nies mee before men, him ( saith Christ) will I denie before my Fa­ther which is in hea­ven? is not this proper­ly my case, as if it had purposely beene in­tended against this ve­ry person of mine? & I pray you, what shall become of such as Christ denieth; seeing there is no other Name under heaven, whereby you looke to bee saved? what saith Saint Paul to the [Page 101] Hebrewes? Heb. 6. It is im­possible for those who were once enlightned, and have tasted of the heavenly gift, & were made partakers of the Holie Ghost, if they fall away, to be renu­ed to repentance: what can be more plaine a­gainst me? Is not that Scripture also; if wee sinne wilfully after wee have received the Knowledge of the truth, and 10. 26. there remaineth no more sacrifice for sinne; but a certaine looking for of judge­ment: [Page 102] the Scripture speakes of mee, Saint Paul means me, S. Peter tels me, Pet. 2. 21. it had been better I had not knowne the way of Righteousnesse, then after I have knowne, to turne from the holy commandement: if it had beene better I had not known, and yet then my condemna­tion had beene most certaine: doe you not see evidently, that I have wilfully denied the known truth; may justly expect not [Page 103] onely damnation, but worse, if worse may be imagined: God will have mee under­goe the just punish­ment of my sinne, and make mee an example of his wrath for your sakes.’

The company pre­sent, admired his dis­course, so grievously ac­cusing himselfe of his fore-past life; so gravely and wisely dilating, con­cerning the judgements of God, that they then were convinced, that it was not frenzie or [Page 104] madnesse, that had pos­sessed him: and being as it were, in admirati­on of his estate, Spira proceeded againe in this manner, Take heed to your selves, it is no light or easie matter to bee a Chri­stian; it is not baptisme, or reading of the Scrip­tures, or boasting of faith in Christ (though even these are good) that can proove one to be an abso­lute Christian: you know what I said before, there must be a conformity in life; a Christian must bee strong, unconquerable, [Page 105] not carrying an obscure profession, but resolute; expressing the image of Christ, and holding out against all opposition to the last breath: hee must give all diligence by righ­teousnesse, and holinesse, to make his calling and ele­ction sure; many there are that snatch at the promises in the Gospel, as if they undoubtedly did belong to them, and yet they remaine sluggish, and carelesse, and beeing flattered by the things of this present world, they passe in their course in quietnesse and [Page 106] securitie, as if they were the onely happie men; whom neverthelesse the Lord in his providence hath ordai­ned to eternall wrath; as you may see in S. Lukes rich man, Luk. 16. thus it was with mee, therefore take heed.

Then came one of his Nephews and offered him some sustenance, which he disdainfully refusing, so moved the youngmans choler, that hee charged him with hypocrisie and dissimu­lation, or frenzie; to whom Spira gravely an­swering, said:

[Page 107] You may interpret the matter as you will; but I am sure, I am not only the A­ctor, but the argument, and matter of the Tragedy; I would it were frenzie, either fained or true; for if it were fained, I could put it off at pleasure; if it were a reall frenzy, yet there were some hope left of Gods mercie, whereas now there is none; for I know that God hath pro­nounced mee an enemie, and guiltie of high Trea­son against his Majestie; I am a cast-away, a vas­saile of wrath: yet dare [Page 108] you call it dissembling and frenzie; and can mocke at the formidable exam­ple of the heavie wrath of God, that should teach you feare and terrour; but it is naturall to the flesh, ei­ther out of malice or igno­rance, to speake perversly of the workes of God, the naturall man discerneth not of the things that are of God, because they are spiritually discerned.

How can this be (said Gribauldus) that you can thus excellently dis­course of the judge­ments of God, and of [Page 109] the graces of his holie Spirit, that you finde the want of them, and ear­nestly desire them; and yet you thinke you are utterly deprived of them.

Take this for certaine ( said hee) I want the maine grace of all, and that which is absolutely ne­cessarie; and God doth ma­ny times extort most true and strange testimonies of his Majesties justice and mercie; yea out of the mouthes of verie repro­bates, for even Iudas, af­ter hee had betrayed his [Page 110] Master, Mat. 27. 4. was constrained to confesse his sinne, and to justifie the innocencie of Christ; and therefore if I doe the like, it is no new or strange matter: God hath taken faith from mee, and left mee other common gifts, for my dee­per condemnation; by how much the more I remem­ber what I had, and heare others discourse of what they have, by so much the more is my torment, in that I know what I want, and how there is no way to bee relieved.

Thus spake hee, the [Page 111] teares all the while trickling downe; pro­fessing that his pangs were such, as that the damned wights in hell endure not the like mi­serie; that his estate was worse, then that of Cain or Iudas; and therefore hee desired to die: yet behold (saith hee) the Scriptures are accomplish­ed in mee; Rev. 9. 6. they shall desire to die, and death shall flie from them; and verily, hee seemed exceedingly to feare, lest his life should bee drawne out to a longer thread: and [Page 112] finding no ease, or rest, ever and anone cried out: O miserable wretch; O miserable wretch; then turning to the Com­pany; hee besought them in this manner.

O Brethren, take a di­ligent heed to your life; make more account of the gifts of Gods spirit then I have done, learne to be­ware my misery, thinke not you are assured Christians, because you understand something of the Gospel; take heed you grow not secure on that ground; be constant and immoveable [Page 113] in the maintaining of your profession, confesse even untill death if you be called thereto: he that loveth father, Luk. 14. 26. mother, brothers, sisters, sons, daughters, kindred, houses, lands, more then Christ, is not worthie of him.

These words (said they) doe not sound like the words of a wicked Reprobate.

I doe but herein imi­tate ( said Spira) the rich Glutton in the Gospel, who though in hell; yet was carefull that his brethren should not come to that [Page 114] place of torment: and I say to you Brethren, take heed of this miserable e­state wherein I am.

Then turning him­selfe to certaine young men that were present, hee desired them to con­ceive him aright: ‘I doe not speak this, to derogate from the cer­taintie of saving faith, and the promises of the Gospel, for they are most sure; but take heed of relying on that Faith that works not a holy and unblameable life, wor­thy [Page 115] of a beleever; credit mee, it will faile, I have tried it: I presumed I had got­ten the right faith, I preached it to others, I had all places of Scripture in memorie, that might support it: I thought my selfe sure, and in the meane time, living impious­ly and carelesly, be­hold, now the judge­ments of God have o­vertaken mee, not to correction, but to con­demnation; and now you would have mee [Page 116] to beleeve, but it will not bee; for I feele too late; that good things belong onely to such as are good; whose sinnes are co­vered with Christs death and bloud, as with a vaile, and guarded with his righ­teous merits from the floud of Gods warth, even as with a mightie wall; left miserable mortals should bee swallowed up with the greatnesse of their sinnes: But as for mee, I have as it were [Page 117] wilfully with mine hands pulled downe this rampire; behind which I might have rested in safetie; and now are the swelling waters come even to my soule: and I am cast away.’

One of his familiar friends chanced to say, that certainly he was o­vercome with melan­choly; which being o­verheard, Spira answe­red:

‘Well, bee it so, see­ing you will needs have it so; for thus [Page 118] also is Gods wrath manifested against me in that hee hath taken from mee the use of mine understanding and reason, so as I can neither rightly e­steeme and judge of my distemper, nor hope of remedie: you see Brethren, what a dangerous thing it is, to stoppe or stay in things that concerne Gods glorie: especi­ally to dissemble upon anie termes: what a fearefull thing is it to be neare, and almost a [Page 119] Christian; never was the like example to this of mine: and therefore if you bee wise, you will seri­ously consider therof; Oh that God would let loose his hand from me; that it were with me now, as in times past; I would scorn the threats of the most cruell Tyrants, beare torments with invin­cible resolution, and glorie in the outward profession of Christ, till I were choked in the flame, and my [Page 120] body consumed to a­shes.’

You say you are de­sperate, O Spira (said they) why then doe you not strive with some weapon or other, vio­lently to make an end of your life, as desperate men use to doe? Let mee have a sword (sayd Spi­ra) why what would you doe with it (quoth they) I cannot tell you (said hee) what this minde would move me to upon occasion; nor what I would doe.

They perceiving smal [Page 121] effect of all this their la­bour; but rather that he grew worse: for the a­voiding of concourse of people; for everie day seldome fewer then 20▪ continued with him, & to stop the course of fame, which was con­tinually blowne abroad of him; they consult to carry him backe againe into his owne coun­trey: and those his friends that came to comfort him, began to take their leaves of him: Vergerius among the rest, required that at their [Page 122] parting they might pray together with him: Spi­ra hardly consented, and as unwillingly per­formed: for hee said, ‘My heart is estranged from God, I cannot call him Father from my heart; all good motions are now quite gone, my heart is full of malediction, ha­tred, and blasphemy against God; I finde I grow more and more hardned in heart, and cannot stoope nor helpe my selfe; your prayers for mee shall [Page 123] turne to your owne benefit, they can doe mee no good.’

Vergerius came to take his leave of him, whom Spira embracing, said, ‘Although I know that nothing can bring any benefit to mee a Reprobate; but that every thing shall tend to my deeper condem­nation; yet I give you most hearty thankes, for your kinde office of love and good will; and the Lord returne it unto you with a [Page 124] plentifull increase of all good.’

The next day being brought downe to his intended Iourney, by the way looking round about him with a ghast­ly looke, he saw a knife lying on a Table, to which he running hasti­ly snatched hold of; as intending to mischiefe himselfe; but his friends laying hold of him, stopped him in his pur­pose: whereupon with indignation, hee said, ‘I would I were, above [Page 125] God, for I know hee will have no mercy on me.’

Thus went he home­wards, often saying, that the envied the con­dition of Cain and Iudas: hee lay about 8. weekes in this case, in a continu­all burning, neither de­siring, nor receiving a­ny thing but by force, and that without dis­gestion: so spent, that hee appeared a perfect Anatomie; expressing to the view, nothing but sinewes and bones; [Page 126] vehemently raging for drinke; ever pining, yet fearefull to live long; dreadfull of hell, yet co­veting death; in a con­tinuall torment, yet his own tormentour: and thus consuming him­selfe with griefe and horrour, impatience, & despaire; like a living man in Hell; hee repre­sented an extraordinary example of the justice and power of God: and thus (as farre as appea­reth) within a few dayes after his arrivall at his [Page 127] owne home, he depar­ted this present life. Yet an occasion to make us remember, that secret things belong unto the Lord our God; but cha­ritie to man, to teach him to hope all things.

[Page 128] EXtraordinary exam­ples of Divine Iu­stice, God never inten­ded for a nine dayes wonder: else would hee when hee exemplifi'd Lots wife have turned her into a statue of melt­ing snow, not of lasting salt; which stood as Iosephus tells us, till his age, after the destruction of Ierusalem: and as some Travellers report, till at this day: ut quod­dam [Page 129] hominibus praestaret condimentum quo sapiant unde illud caveatur ex­emplum; Aug. de. civit. Dei. lib. 16. c. 30. for a season against corrup­tion, a preservative a­gainst Apostacie. This Tragedy, when fresh and new, was the con­version and confirma­tion of sundry Worth­ies: Vergerius a daily spectator thereof, forsa­king a rich Bishopricke of Iustinopolis, and tents of Antichrist; went to Basil, and dyed a [Page 130] worthy Protestant: ma­ny Nations had Eye­witnesses of their owne Students, then in the Vniversitie of Padua who penned the Story, the Copies wherof are frequently revived: our English ones were very defective, and now worne out of shoppes and hands, sundry ma­nuscripts of this abroad imperfect; which mo­ved mee to compare this labour of a worthy Gentleman (who faith­fully translated it out of [Page 131] Italian, French, and Dutch Letters) with the Latine of Caelius Secun­dus, Curio, Mattheus Gri­bauldus, professors of the Civill Law in Pa­dua: Sigismund Gelous a Transilvanian, Henricus Scotus, all daily visitors of Spira, and finde it ac­cord with them. Tou­ching Spiraes person, I finde (most learned wri­ters) to incline to the right, and hopefull hand: moved by his sweet, humble, and cha­ritable speeches: some few desperate ones ex­cepted, [Page 132] that fell from him in some little ago­nies, which kept him fasting and watching a­bout six moneths space, eating nothing but what was forced downe his throat. The sum of Cal­vins and Borrhaus their their counsels (who writ largely of the use of this pattern) is that all learne to take heed of backe-sliding, which Gods soule abhorres; and not to dally with Conscience, and hell on earth, if justly incen­sed; more to be feared [Page 133] then the Spanish Inqui­sition, or all the Strap­padoes and torments in the world; and to take heed of Spira's princi­pall Errors; which were to dispute with Satan over busily in time of weakenesse: especially to reason, and con­clude from present sense: to Gods past Reprobation, and fu­ture Damnation: both which is hard, if pos­sible for any man to determine in his owne, much more in others cases: so commending [Page 134] thee to his grace who is able to establish thee to the end: I bid thee fare­well, and hope well, while the space of Grace lasteth, Dum spiras spe­ra: so mayest thou take good and no hurt, by the reading of this terri­ble example.