Heer entreth Nichol Newfangle the vice laughing, and hath a knaue of clubs in his hand which assooon as he speaketh: he offreth vnto one of the men or boyes standing by.
[...]wfan.
¶ Ha, ha, ha, ha, now like vn to like it wil be none other,
Stoup gentle knaue and take vp your brother.
VVhy is it so? and is it euen so indeed?
Why then may I say God send vs good speed,
And is euery one heer so greatly vnkinde,
that I am no sooner out of sight but quite out of minde.
Mary this wil make a man euen weep for woe,
that on such a sodain no man wil him knowe.
Though men be so dangerous now at this day,
Yet are women kinde woorms I dare wel say.
How say you woman you that stand in the Angle,
were you neuer acquainted with Nichol newfangle?
Then I see Nichol newfangle is quite forgot,
Yet you wil know me anon, I dare ieopard a grote.
Nichol newfangle is my name, doo you me not knowe?
my whole education to you I wil showe,
For first before I was born I remember very well,
that my gransier and I made a iourney into hell.
Where I was bound prentice before my natiuitie,
to Lucifer himself such was mine agilitie.
All kinde of sciences he taught vnto me,
that to the maintenance of pride might best agree.
I learned to make gowns with long sleeues and winges:
I learned to make ruffs like Calues chitterlings.
Caps, Hats, Cotes, and all kinde of apparails,
[Page]And especially Breethes as big as good barrels.
Shoos, Boots, Buskins, with many prity toyes,
All kinde of garments for men, women and boyes.
Know ye me not now I thought that at the last,
All acquaintance from Nichol newfangle is not past.
Nichol newfangle was and is and euer shalbe,
And there are but few that are not acquainted with me.
For so soon as my prentishood was once come out,
I went by and by the whole world about.
Heer the Deuil entreth but speaketh not yet.
Sancte benedicite, who haue we heere?
Tom tumbler or els some dauncing beare,
Body of me it were best goe no neere,
For ought that I see it is my Godfather Lucifer.
Whose prentice I haue been this many a day,
But no more woords but mum, you shall heare what he wil say
This name Lucifer, must be written on his back and on his brest.
Lucifer.
¶ Howe mine own boy I am glad that thou art heere,
[...]
‡He speaketh to you sir, I pray you come neer.
pointing to one standing by.
Lucifer.
‡Nay y u art euen he of whō I am wel appaid.
Newfang.
¶ Then speak aloof of, to come nie I am afraid.
Lucifer.
¶ Why so my boy as though thou didst neuer see me?
New
[...].
¶ Yes godfather but I am afraid it is now as often times it is with thee
For if my dame & y
u hast been tumbling by the eares,
As oftentimes you doo like a couple of great beares.
Thou carest not whom thou killest in thy raging minde,
Doost not thou remember since thou brusedst me behinde?
This hole in thy fury didst thou disclose:
that now may a tent be put in as big as thy nose.
this was when my dame called thee bottle nosed knaue:
[Page]But I am like to cary the mark to my graue,
Lucifer.
¶ Oh my good boy he not afraid,
For no such thing hath happened as thou hast saide.
But come to me my boye and blesse thee I wil,
And see that my precepts thou doo fulfill.
Newfang.
‡VVel Godfather if you will say ought to me in this case,
Speak for in faith I meane not to kneell to that ill face.
If our Lady Walsingham had no fairer face and visage,
By the masse they were fooles that would goe to her on pilgremage
Lucifer.
¶ VVel boy it shall not greatly skil:
VVhether thou stand or whether thou kneele.
thou knowest what sciences I haue thee taught,
VVhich are able to bring the world to nought,
For thou knowest that through pride from heauen I was cast:
Euen vnto hell wherfore see thou make haste.
Such pride through new fashions in mens harts for to sowe.
that those that vse it may haue the like ouerthrowe.
From vertue procure men to set their minds aside:
And wholy imploy it to all sinne and pride.
Let thy new fangled fashions bear such a sway:
That a rascall be as proud as he that best may.
Newfang.
¶ Tush, tush, that is alredy brought to passe,
For a very skip iack is prouder I swere by the mas,
And seeketh to goe more gayer and braue:
then dooth a Lord though himselfe be a knaue.
Lucifer.
† I can thee thank that so wel thou hast plaid thy part,
Such as doo so shall soon seel the smart.
Sith that thou hast thus doon, there remaineth behinde,
that thou in another thing shew thy right kinde.
Newfan.
¶ Then good Godfather let me heare thy minde.
Lucifer.
¶ Thou knowest that I am bothe proud and arrogant,
And with the proud I wil euer be conuersant.
I cannot abide to see men that are vicious,
[Page]Accompany themselues with such as be vertuous.
VVherfore my minde is sith thou thy part canst play,
that thou adioyne like to like alway.
Ni.New.
¶ I neuer loued that wel I swere by this day,
Lucifer.
¶ What my boy?
Newfang.
¶ Your minde is sith I fast three meales euery good friday.
that I eat nothing but Onions and leekes alway.
Lucifer.
¶ Nay my minde is sith thou thy part canst play:
that thou adioyne like to like alway.
Newfang.
¶ Tush, tush godfather Deuil for that haue thou no care,
thou knowest that like wil to like quod the deuil to the Colier.
And thou shalt see that such a match I shall make anon:
That thou shalt say I am thy good good sweet sweet godson.
Lucifer.
¶ I wil giue thee thanks when thou hast so doon.
Heer entreth the Colier.
Newfang.
¶ Wel Godfather no more woords but mum,
For yonder comes the Collier as seemeth me,
By the mas he wil make a good mate for thee.
what olde acquaintance small remembraunce,
welcome to town with? very vengeance.
Now welcome Tom Colier giue me thy hand:
As very a knaue as any in Englank.
T.Collier
¶ By masse god amarcy my vreend Nichol,
Newfang.
¶ By God and welcome ientle tom lick hole,
T.Collier
¶ Cham glad to zee thee mery my vreend nickol,
and how doost thou now a dayes good nickole.
Newfang.
¶ And nothing els but euen plain nichol?
T.Collier
‡ I pray thee tell me how doost good vreend lick hole.
Newfang.
‡ It is turned from nichol to lick hole with tom Colier
I say no more tom but hold thy nose there.
T.Collier
¶ Nay hold thy tung nichol til my nose dooth come:
So thou shalt take part and I shall take zome.
Newfang.
‡ Wel tom Colier let these things passe away,
[Page]tel me what market thou hast made of thy coles to day,
T. Collier.
¶ To euery Bushel cha zolde three pack,
Loe here be the empty zacks on my neck.
Cha begide the whorsons that of me ha bought,
But to begile me was their whole thought
Newfang.
¶ But hast thou no conscience to begile thy poore neighboure.
T.Collier
¶ No mary zo I may gain vor my labour.
It is a common trade now a daies this is plain.
to cut one anothers throte vor lucar and gaine.
A small vaut as the world is now brought to passe
Newfang.
¶ Thou art a good fellow I swere by the masse.
As fit a companion for the Deuil as may be,
Lo good father deuil this felow wil I match with th
[...]e.
Lucifer.
¶ And good tom collier thou art welcom to me,
he taketh him by the hand
T. Colliar.
‡ God a mercy good deuil chā glad of thy company.
Lucifer.
¶ Like wil to like I see very wel,
Newfang.
‡ God father wilt thou daunce a little before thou goe home to hell
Lucifer.
¶ I am content so that tom colier doo agree,
T.Collier
¶ I wil neuer refuse Deuil to daunce with thee.
Newfan.
¶ Then godfather name what the daunce shall be.
Lucifer.
¶ Tom Colier of Croidon hath solde his cole,
Newfang.
¶ Why then haue at it by my fathers soule.
Nichol newfangle must haue a gittern or some other Instrument (if he may) but if they haue none: they must daunce about the place all three, and sing this song that fnlloweth, which must be doon though they haue an instruement.
The Song,
Tom Colier of Croidon hath solde his Coles,
and made his market to day:
And now he daunceth with the Deuil,
for like wil to like alway.
¶ Wherfore let vs reioyce and sing,
let vs be mery and glad,
[Page]Sith that the Colier and the Deuill,
this match and baunce hath made.
¶ Now of this daunce we make an and,
with mirth and eke with ioy:
The Colier and the Deuill wil be,
much like to like alway.
Finis.
Ni. Newfang
¶ Aha, mary this is trini singing,
I had not thought the Deuil to be so cunning.
And by the mas Tom Colier is as good as he,
I see that like with like wil euer agree.
T.Colier
¶ Var wel maister Deuil vorich must be gone,
Exit
Lucifer.
¶ VVhy then farwel my gentle freend tom.
Ni. Newfang
¶ Farwel tour Colier a knaue be thy comfort,
How saist thou Godfather, is not this trim sport▪
Lucifer.
¶ thou art mine own boy, my blessing thou shalt haue,
Ni. Newfang
¶ By my troth Godfather that blessing I doe not craue.
But if you goe your way I wil doo my diligence,
As wel in your absence as in your presence.
Lucifer.
¶ But thou shalt salute me or I goe doutles,
that in thy dooings thou maist haue the better successe.
VVherfore kneel down and say after me,
Ni. Newfang
¶ When y
e deuil wil haue it so: it must needs so be.
he kneleth downe.
what shal I say hottel nosed godfather canst y
u tel?
Lucifer
¶ All haile Oh noble Prince of hel,
N. Newfang
¶ All my dames cow tailes fel down into the wel.
Lucifer.
¶ I wil exalt thee aboue the clowdes,
Ni. Newfang
¶ I wil sault thee and hang thee in the shrowds.
Lucifer.
¶ Thou art the inhauncer of my renowne,
Newfang
¶ Thou art haunce the haugman of Callis town,
Lucifer.
¶ To thee be honour alone,
Newfang
¶ To thee shall come our hobling Ione.
Lucifer.
* Amen.
Newfang
¶ Amen.
Lucifer.
¶ Now farwel my boy, farwel hartely,
Newfan.
[Page]
¶ Is there neuer a knaue heer wil keep the Deuil company?
Farwel godfather for thou must goe alone:
I pray thee come hether again anon.
Exit Lucifer.
Mary heere was a benediction of the Deuils good grace,
Body of me I was so afrayd I was like to bestench the place.
My buttocks made buttons of the new fashion.
VVhile the whorson Deuil was making his salutation.
But by the masse I am as glad as euer was madge mare:
That the whorson Deuil is ioyned with the knaue Coliar.
As fit a match as euer could be pickt out:
what saist thou Ione with the long snout.
Tom to spot commeth in with a fether in his Hat.
But who comes yonder puffing as whot as a black pudding,
I holde xx. li. it is a ruffin, if a Goose goe a gooding.
T. Tos.
‡ Gogs hart and his guts is not this too bad?
Bloud, wounds and nailes, it wil make a man mad
Newfan.
¶ I warant you heere is a lusty one very braue:
I think anon he wil swere him self a knaue.
T. Tos.
‡ Many a mile haue I ridden and many a nule haue I goue:
Yet can I not finde for me a fit companion.
Many there be which my company would frequent,
If to doo as they doo I would be content.
They would haue me leaue off my pride and swearing,
My new fangled fashions and leaue of this wearing.
But rather then I such companions wil haue:
I wil see a thousand of them laid in their graue.
Similis similem sibi quaerit, such a one doo I seek
As vnto my self in euery condition is like.
Newfan.
¶ Sir you are welcome ye seem to be an honest man:
And I wil help you in this matter as much as I can.
If you tary heer a while I tel you in good sooth,
I wil finde one as fit for you as a pudding for a friers mouth.
T. Tos.
‡ Ithank you my freend for your gentle offer to me.
[Page]I pray you tell me what your name may be.
Newfan.
‡ Me think by your apparell you haue had me in regard:
I pray you of Nichole newfangle haue you neuer heard?
T.Tos.
‡ Nichole newfangle? why we are of olde acquaintance,
Newfan.
‡ By my troth your name is quite out of my remembrance.
T.Tos.
‡ At your first comming into England wel I wot,
You were very wel acquainted with Tom tospot.
Ni. New.
‡ Tom tospot? Sanct [...]amen, how you were out of my minde:
T.Tos.
¶ You kno whē you brought into englād this new fāgled kinde
That tospots and Ruffins with you were first acquainted,
Ni.New.
‡ It is euen so Tom tospot as thou hast saide.
T.Tos.
¶ It is an olde saying, that mountains and hills neuer meet,
But I see that men shall meet, though they doo not seek.
And I promise you more ioy in my hart I haue found:
Then if I had gained an hundred pound.
Ni.New.
‡ And I am as glad as one had giuen me a grote:
that I haue met with thee Tom tospot,
And seeing a mate thou wouldst so faine haue,
I wil ioyne thee with one that shalbe as very a knaue.
as thou art thy selfe you may beleeue me:
thou shalt see anon what I wil doo for thee.
For you seek as very a knaue as you your selfe are:
For like wil to like quod the Deuil to the Coliar.
T.Tos.
‡ Indeed Nichole newfangle ye say the veritie,
Heer entreth Rafe Roister.
For like wil to like it wil none otherwise be.
Newfan.
‡ Beholde Tom tospot euen in pudding time:
Yonder commeth Rafe Roister an olde freend of mine,
By the mas for thee he is so fit a mate
As Tom and Tib for Kit and Kate.
Now welcome my freend Rafe coister by the masse,
R.Roister
‡ And I am glad to see you heere in this place.
Newfan.
‡ Bid him welcome, hark he can play a knaues part:
T.Tos.
‡ My freend you are welcome with all my hart.
R.Roister.
[Page]
¶ God a mercy good fellowe, tel me what thou art.
Newfan.
¶ As very a knaue as thou, though the best be to bad,
T.Tos.
¶ I am one, which of thy company would be very glad.
R.Roister
¶ And I wil not your company refuse of a certaintie.
So that to my conditions your maners doo agree.
T.Tos.
¶ It should appeere by your sayings y
t we are of one minde,
For I knowe that roisters and tospots come of one kinde.
And as our names be much of one accord and much like,
So I think our condicions be not far vnlike.
R.Roister.
¶ If your name to me you will declare and showe:
You may in this matter my minde the sooner knowe.
T.Tos.
¶ Few woords are best among freends this is true,
Wherfore I shall breefly shew my name vnto you.
Tom tospot it is, it need not be painted,
Wherfore with Rafe Roister I must needs be acquainted.
Newfan.
¶ In faith Rafe Roister if thou wilt be ruled by me,
we wil daunce hand in hand like knaues all three.
It is as vnpossible for thée his company to deny:
As it is for a Cammel to creep through a needles eye.
therfore did him welcome like a knaue as thou art,
R.Roister.
¶ By my troth Tom tospot you are welcome with all my hart,
T.Tos.
¶ I thank you that mine acquaintāce you wil take in good part.
And by my troth I wil be your sworn brother:
Newfan.
¶ Tush like wil to like it wil be none other.
For the vertuous wil alwaies the vertuous company seek out:
A Gentleman neuer seeketh the company of a Lout.
And Roisters and Ruffians do sober company eschue:
For like wil euer to like this is moste true.
R.Roister
¶ Now freend tom tospot seeing that we are bretheren sworne:
And neither of our companies from other may be forborne.
the whole trade of my life to thee I wil declare:
T.Tos.
¶ And to tell you my properties also I shall not spare.
Newfan.
¶ Then my maisters if you will a while abide it:
[Page]Ye shall see two such Knaues so liuely described
that if hel should be raked euen by and by indeed:
Such another couple cannot be found I swere by my creed.
Go to sirs say on your whole mindes:
And I shall paint you out in your right kindes.
First tom tospot plead thou thy cause and thy name:
And I wil sit in this chaire and giue sentence on the same.
I will play the Iudge and in this matter giue iudgement:
How say you my maisters are you so content?
R.Roister
¶ By my truth for my part therto I doo agree,
T.Tos.
¶ I were to blame if any fault should be in me.
Newfan.
¶ Then that I be in office neither of you doo grudge?
Bothe.
¶ No indeed:
Newfan.
¶ Where learned you to stand capt before a Iudge?
You sowterly knaues, shew you all your manners at once.
R.Roister
¶ Why Nichole all we are content:
Newfan.
¶ And am I plaine Nichole? and yet it is in my arbitrement?
to Iudge which of you two is the veriest knaue:
I am maister Nichole Newfangle both gay and braue.
For seeing you make me your Iudge I crowe:
I shall teach you both your leripup to knowe.
He fighteth.
T.Tos.
* Stay your self I pray you hartely.
R.Roister
¶ I pray you be content and we wil be more manerly.
Newfan.
¶
[...]ay I cannot put vp such an iniury.
For seing I am in office I wil be known therfore,
he fighteth againe.
Fend your heds sirs for for I wil fight once more,
R.Roister
¶ I pray you be content good gentle maister Nichole,
T.Tos.
¶ I neuer saw the like by gogs soule.
Newfan.
¶ Wel my maisters because you doo intend:
to learn good manners and your conditions to amend.
I wil haue but one fit more and so make an end.
He fighteth againe.
R.Roister
¶ I pray you sir let vs no more contend.
Newfan
¶ Mary this hath brethed me very wel:
[Page]Now let me heare how you your tales can tel.
And I maister iudge wit so bring to passe:
that I wil iudge who shalbe knaue of Clubs at Christmas
T.Tos.
‡ Gogs wounds I am like Phalaris y e made a bul of brasse,
N.New.
‡ Thou art like a false knaue now and euer more was.
T.Tos.
‡ Nay I am like
Phalaris that made a bul of brasse,
As a cruell torment for such as did offend:
and he him self first therin put was:
Euen so are we brought to this end.
In ordaining him a iudge who wil be honored as a God:
So for our own tailes we haue made a rod.
R.Roister
‡ And I am serued as Hamao that preparde,
Ni.New.
‡ How was he serued I pray thee doo me tel,
R.Roister
‡ VVhom I speak of thou knowest not wel.
Ni.New.
‡ Thou art serued a [...] Hary hangman captain of the black garde,
R.Roister
‡ Nay I am serued as
Haman that preparde.
A high paire of gallous for
Mardocheus the Iew,
and was the first that theron was hanged:
So I feele the smart at mine owne too this is true.
But heerafter I wil learn to be wise,
and ere I leap once I wil look twice.
Newfang.
‡ VVel Tom tospot first let me heare thee,
How canst thou proue thy self a verier knaue then hee
T.Tos.
‡ You know that Tom tospot men doo me call,
Newfan.
‡ A knaue thou hast alwaies been and euer shall.
T.Tos.
‡ My conditions I am sure ye know as wel as I,
Newfan.
‡ A knaue thou wast born and so shalt thou dye.
T.Tos.
‡ But that you are a iudge. I would say vnto you,
Knaues are Christen men els you are a iew.
Newfan.
‡ He calleth me knaue by craft, doo you not see?
Sirra I wil remember it when you think not on me.
VVel say what thou canst for thine own behoof:
If thou proue thy self the verier Knaue by good proof.
[Page]Thou must be the elder brother and haue the patrimony,
And when he hath said then doo thou reply
Euen Thomas a wa
[...]rings, or Tiburn hil:
to the falsest theef of you both by my fathers wil.
R.Roister.
‡ I pray you sir what is that patrimony?
Newfan.
‡ I pray you leaue your curtesie & I wil tel you by and by.
if he be the more Knaue the patrimony he must haue,
But thou shalt haue it if y
u proue thy self the verier knaue.
A peece of ground it is that on beggets maner dooth holde:
and who so deserues it shal haue it ye may be bolde.
Called Saint Thomas a watrings or els Tiburn hil:
Giuen and so bequethed to the faliest Knaue by wil.
T.Tos.
¶ Then I trow I am he that this patrimony shal possesse,
For I am Tom tospot to vse this trade doutles.
From morning til night I sit tossing the black hole:
then come I home and pray for my fathers soule.
Saying my praiers with wounds, bloud guts and hart,
Swearing and staring thus play I my parts.
If any poore man haue in a whole week earnd a grote:
He shal spend it in one houre in tossing the pot.
I vse to call seruants and poore men to my company,
and make them spend all they haue vnthriftily.
So that my company they think to be so good:
that in short space their haire growes through their hood.
Newfan.
¶ But wil no gossips keep thee company now and than?
T.Tos.
¶ Tush I am acquainted with many a woman.
That with me wil sit in euery house and place:
But then their husbands had need to fend their face.
For when they come home they wil not be a feard:
to shake the goodman, and sometime shaue his beard.
And as for flemish seruants I haue such a train:
that wil quasse and carous, and therin spend their gain.
From week to week I haue this company,
[Page]Wherfore I am woorthy to haue the patrimony.
Newfan.
¶ Thus thou maist be called a knaue in graine,
And where Knaues be scant thou maist goe for twaine.
But now Rafe Roister let me heare what thou canst say
R. Roister
* You know that Rate roister I am called alway,
And my conditions in knauery so far doo surmount:
that to haue this patrimony I make mine account.
For I intice yong gentle men all vertue to eschewe
And to giue them to riotousnes, this is true,
Seruing men by me are also seduced:
that all in brauery their mindes are confused.
then if they haue not themseluesto maintaine,
to pick and to steale they must be fain.
And I may say to you I haue such a traine:
that some time I pitch a feeld on Salisbury plain.
And much more if need were I could say verily,
Wherfore I am woorthy to haue the patrimony.
Newfan.
¶ He that should iudge this maner had
[...]erd haue more wit then I
But seeing you haue referred it vnto my arbitrement:
In faith I wil giue such equall iudgement,
that both of you shall be wel pleased and c
[...]ntent.
R.Roister
¶ Nay I haue not doon for I can say much more,
Newfan.
¶ Wel I will not haue you contend any more.
But this farme which to beggers manner dooth appertaine
I wil equally deuide betweene you twaine.
Are you not content that so it shall be?
Bothe.
¶ As it pleaseth you so shall we agree.
Newfan.
¶ Then see that anon you come bothe vnto me
R.Roister
¶ Sir for my parte I thank you hartely.
I promised of fate to come vnto a company.
Which at Hob filchers for me doo remain:
God be with you and anon I wil come again,
T.Tos.
¶ Farwel brother Raie I wil come to you ano [...].
Newfan.
[Page]
‡ Cum again for you shal not so sodainly be gon.
Heer entreth haūce with a pot & singeth as foloweth.
see you not who cums yōder an old frēd of yours
One that is redy to quasse at all houres.
He singeth the first two lines and speaketh the rest as stammering as may be.
Quas in hart and quas again, and quas about the house a:
And tosse the black bole to and fro, and I brinks them all carous a.
Haunce.
¶ Be go go gogs nowns cha cha drunk zo zo much to day:
That be be be masse I cham a moste drunk ich da da dare zay.
Chud spe spe spend a goo goo good grote:
tha that ich cud vi vinde my ca ca chaptain to to tom tospot.
Newfan.
¶ Sit down good haunce lest y
u lye on y
e ground.
he seteth him in the chaire.
he knoweth not tom tospot I dare ieopard xx.l.
T. Tos.
¶ He wil know me by and by I holde you a crown.
how doost thou seruant haunce? how commeth this to passe?
Haunce.
¶ Ma ma master to to tom cha cha cham glad by mas.
Ca ca carouse to to thee goo goo good tom,
he drinketh.
T. Tos.
¶ Holde vp haunce I wil pledg thee anon.
R.Roister
¶ Wel there is no remedy but I must be gone.
Haunce.
¶ Ta ta tary good velow, a wo wo word or twaine:
If tho tho thou thi self do do doo not come again,
Bi bi bid Philip Fleming cu cu cum hether to me,
Vo vo vor he must lead me home now ich doo zee.
R. Roister
¶ Then farwel Haunce I wil remember thy errant,
he wilbe heer by and by I dare be his warrant.
Exit R. Roister.
Newfan.
¶ Farwel Rafe roister with all my hart,
Come anon and I wil deliuer thee thy part.
T. Tos.
¶ Now haunce right now thou drankst to me,
Drink again and I
[...]oil pledge thee.
Haunce.
¶ Omni po po potenti, all the po po pot is emptie.
Newfan.
¶ Why Haunce thou hast latin in thy belly me think,
I thought there was no room for latin, there is so much drink.
Haunce.
[Page]
¶ Ich le le lernd zome la la laten when ich was a la la lad,
Ith ca ca can zay
tu es nebulo ich learnd of my dad.
And ich did once he he help the pre pre preest to zay masse,
By gis ma man ich ha been cunning when twas.
T.Tos.
¶ I knew Haunce when he was as he saith,
For he was once a Scholler in good faith.
But through my company he was with drawn from thence,
through his riote and excessiue expence.
Vnto this trade which now you doo in him see:
So that now he is wholy addicted to followe me.
And one of my garde he is now become:
VVel Haunce wel, thou wast once a white sonne.
Newfan.
¶ Now so God help me thou art a pritty felowe Haunce,
A clene legged gentleman, and as proper a praunce.
As any I know between this and Fraunce.
Haunce.
‡ Yes by by God ich cud once daunce,
Newfang.
‡ I speak of no dauncing little belied Haunce:
But seing thou saist thou canst so wel daunce.
Let me see where thou canst daunce liuely:
Haunce.
‡ Tha tha that ca ca can ich doo ful trimly.
He daunceth as euill fauoured as may be deuised, and in the dauncing he falleth down, and when he riseth he must grone.
Newfan.
¶ Rise again Haunce thou hadst almost got a fall:
But thou dauncest trimly leggs and all.
Body of me haunce how dooth thy belly canst thou tel?
By the masse he hath be raid his breeches me think by y
e smell.
T.Tos.
‡ I wil help thee vp Haunce giue me thy hand,
He riseth.
Haunce.
‡ By by mas ch ch ch was almost down I think verily,
Newfan.
‡ Wast thou almost down haunce? so think I.
But thou art sick me think by thy groning,
He grones like a beare when he is a moning.
Hark how his head akes and his pulses doo beat:
[Page]I think he wil be hanged his belly is so great.
Haunce
‡ Go go God a mercy Tom with all my hart:
Newfan
‡ If thou canst not leap Haunce, let me see thee drink a quart.
And get thee out abroad into the aire:
T. Tos.
‡ Tush he had more need to keep his chaire.
Sit down Haunce and thou shalt see anon:
Philip fleming wil come and fetch thee home.
Haunce sitteth in the Chaire, and snorteth as though he were fast a sleep.
Newfan
‡ I pray thee Tom tospot is this one of thy men?
T. Tos.
‡ He is a companion of mine now and then.
Newfan.
‡ By the faith of my body such Carpenter such chips,
And as the wise man saith, such letice such lips.
For like maister like men, like tutor like Scholer,
And like wil to like, quoth the deuil to the Colier.
T. Tos.
‡ There is no remedy for it must needs so be,
Like wil to like you may beleeue me.
Philip Fleming entreth with a Pot in his hand.
Newfan
¶ Loe where Phillip Fleming commeth euen in pudding time:
T. Tos.
‡ He bringeth in his hand either good ale or els good wine.
Phillip Fleming singeth these foure lines following.
Troll the bole and drink to me, and troll the bole again a:
And put a browne tost in the pot, for Phillip Flemmings brain a.
And I shall tosse it to and fro, euen round about the house a:
Good hostice now let it be so I brinks them all carous a.
Phi.flem.
‡ Mary heer is a pot of nappy good Ale,
As pure as Christall pure and stale.
Now a Crab in the fire were woorth a good grote:
That I might quasse with my captain Tom tospot.
What? I can no sooner wish, but by and by haue:
God saue mine eye sight me think I see a knaue.
[Page]what Captain how goeth the world with you?
Ni.New.
¶ Why now I see the olde prouerb to be true:
Like wil to like both with Christian turk and iew.
T.Tos.
¶ Mary Phillip euen as I was wunt to doo.
Phi.flem.
¶ Rafe Roister tolde me I should finde Haunce heere,
where is he that he dooth not appeere?
Ni.New.
¶ I holde twenty pound the Knaue is blinde,
turn about Phillip Fleming and look behinde.
Hast thou drunk so much that thine eyes be out?
Lo how he snorteth like a lazy lout.
Goe to him for he sleepeth sound.
two such paunches in all England can scant be found.
Phi.flem.
¶ Why Haunce art thou in thy praiers so deuoutly?
awake man and we two wil quasse togither stoutly.
Haunce.
* Domine dominus noster:
Me think I cha spide three knaues in a cluster.
Newfang.
¶ Stay a while for he saith his Pater noster,
Haunce.
Sanctum benedicitum what haue I dremed?
By gogs nowns chad thought ich had been in my bed.
Cha dremed such a dreme that thou wilt meruaile to heere,
Me thought ich was drowned in a barell of Beere.
And by and by the Barrel was turned to a Ship:
VVhich me thought the winde made liuely to skip.
And ich did sail therin from Flaunders to Fraunce:
At last ich was brought hether among a sort of knaues by chaunce
T.Tos.
¶ Lo Haunce heer is Phillip Fleming come now,
we wil goe drink togither now, how saist thou?
Haunce.
¶ I pray thee good Vilip lead me away,
Phi.flem.
¶ Giue me thy hand and I wil thee stay.
T.Tos.
¶ How say you maister Nichol wil you keep vs company?
Newfan.
¶ Goe before maister lickhole and I wilcome by and by.
Mates matched togither departe you three,
I wil come after you may beleeue me.
[Page]
They three are gone togither, and Nichole newfangle remaineth behinde, but he must not speak til they be within.
Newfan.
* Ha ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha,
Now three knaues are gone, and I am left alone:
my selfe heere to solace:
VVel doon gentle Ione, why begin you to mone?
though they be gone I am in place.
And now I wil daunce, now wil I praunce,
For why I haue none other woork:
Snip snap Butter is no bone meat:
Knaues flesh is no Porke.
Hey tisty tosty an Ole is a bird,
Iack a napes hath an olde face:
You may beleeue me at one bare woord,
how like you this mery cace?
A peece of ground, they think they haue found,
I wil tel you what it is:
For I them tolde that of beggars maner it hid holde,
a staffe and a wallet I wis.
VVhich in short space, euen in this place,
of me they shall receiue:
For when that their drift, hath spent all their thrift,
their mindes I shall deceiue.
I trowe you shall see more Knaues come to me,
which whensoeuer they doo:
they shall haue their meed, as they deserue indeed.
as you shal shortly see these two.
VVhen they doo pretend to haue a good end,
mark wel then what shall insue:
A Bag and a Bottle, or els a Rope Knottle,
this shall they proue to true.
But mark wel this game, I see this geer frame.
[Page]Lo who cometh now in such hast?
It is Cutbert cutpursse and Pierce pickpurse,
Giue room now a litle cast.
Heere entreth Cutbert cutpurse and Pierce pickpurse, Cutbert cutpurse must haue in his hand a purse of money or Counters in it, and a knife in one hand and a whetstone in the other, and Pierce must haue money or counters in his hand and gingle it as he commeth in.
Cutbart cutpursse.
¶ By Gogs wounds it dooth me good to the hart:
to see how clenly I plaid this parte.
VVhile they stood thrusting togither in the throng:
I began to goe them among.
And with this knife which heere you doo see:
I cut away his purse clenly.
Newfan.
‡ See to your purses my maisters be ruled by me.
For Knaues are abroad therfore beware:
You are warned and ye take not heed I doo not care.
P.pick.
‡ And also so soon as I had espied,
A woman in the throng whose pursse was fat:
I took it by the strings and clenly it vntide,
She knew no more of it, then Gib our Cat.
Yet at the last she hied apace,
And said the money in my hand she saw:
Thou whore said I, I wil haue an action of the case,
And seing thou saist so I will trye the lawe.
Cutbert.
‡ How saist thou Pierce pickpurse art thou not agreed?
these two booties equally to deuide.
P.Pick.
‡ Then let vs count the totall summe,
And deuide it equally when we haue doone.
Newfan.
‡ My maisters heere is a good fellowe that would faine haue some.
C.cutpurs.
‡ VVhat Nicole Newfangle be you heere?
So God help me I am glad with all my hart:
Pierse pickpurs.
[Page]
¶ Then ere we depart we wil haue some cheere.
And of this booty you shall haue your parte.
Newfan.
¶ I thank you both hartely.
And I will doo somewhat for you by and by:
Are not you two sworn brothers in euery bootye?
Bothe.
‡ Yes that we are truely.
Ni.New.
‡ Then will I tell you newes which you doo not knowe:
Such newes as wil make you glad I trowe.
But first tel me this Pierce Pickpurse,
VVhether is the elder thou or Cutbert cutpurse,
P.pick.
¶ In faith I think we are both of one age well nye.
C.cutpurs
¶ I suppose there is no great differonce truely.
But wherfore ask you? I pray thee tell me why,
N.New.
¶ I wil tell you the cause without delay,
For a peece of land is fallen as I heare say.
A proper plot it is this is most true.
which by sucsession must come to one of you.
For thou Cutbert Cutpurse, wast Cutbert cutthroses sonne,
And thou Pierce pickpurse, by that time thou hast doon,
Canst deriue thy pedigree from an ancient house:
thy father was tom theef, thy mother tib louce.
This peece of land wherto you inheritours are,
Is called the land of the two legged mare.
In this peece of ground there is a mare in deed:
VVhich is the quickest mare in England for speede.
Therfore if you will come anon vnto me:
I will put you in possession and that you shall see.
C.cutpurs
¶ I cannot beleeue that such luck is happened vnto vs.
Ni.New.
‡ It is true that I to you doo discusse.
P.pick.
¶ If you wil help vs to this peece of ground:
Bothe of vs to you shal think our selues bound.
Newfan.
¶ Yes in faith you shall haue it, you may beleeue me,
I will be as good as my woord, as shortly you shall see.
Cutbart cutpursse.
[Page]
Then brother Pierce we may think ourselues happy,
that euer we were with him acquainted:
Pierse pickpurs.
¶ Euen so we may of certaintie,
that such good luck vnto vs hath happened.
But brother Cutbert is it not best,
to goe in for a while and distribute this booty?
where we three wil make some feast.
And quasse togither and be mery.
Cutbert.
¶ What say you Nichol? I doo agree,
Heere entreth Vertuous liuing.
Newfan.
¶ But soft a while be ruled by me,
Look yonder a little doo you not see.
Who commeth yonder? a while we wil abide,
Let him say his pleasure and we wil stand aside.
Ver.life.
¶ Oh gratious God how wonderfull are thy woorks?
how highly art thou of all men to be praised?
Of Christians, Sarasins, Iewes and also Turks,
thy glory ought to be erected and raised
What ioyes hast thou prepared for the vertuous life,
And such as haue thy name in loue and awe?
thou hast promised saluation to man, Childe and wife,
that thy precepts obserue and keep wel thy law.
And to the vertuous life what dooth insue?
Vertutis premium honor Tully dooth saye:
Honour is the guerdon for vertue due,
And eternall saluation at the latter day.
How cleere in conscience is the vertuous life?
the vicious hath consciences so heauy as lead:
their conscience and their dooings is alway at strife:
And although they liue: yet in sin they are dead.
Ni.New.
¶ God giue you good morow sir, how doo you to day?
Ver.life.
¶ God blesse you also both now and alway.
I pray you with me haue you any acquaintance?
Newfan.
[Page]
¶ Yea mary I am an olde freend of yours perchaunce.
Ver.life.
¶ I fit be so I meruaile very much,
That the dulnes
[...]f my wit should be such.
That you should be altogither out of my memory,
tell me your name I pray you hartely.
Newfan.
¶ By the faith of my body you wil appose me by and by.
But indeed I was but little when I was first borne,
And my mother to tell me my name thought it scorne.
Ver.life.
¶ I wil neuer acquaint me with such in any place,
As are ashamed of their names by Gods grace.
Newfan.
¶ I remember my name now it is come to minde,
I haue mused much before I could it finde.
Nich
[...]le newfangle it is, I am your olde freend.
Ver.life.
¶ My freend mary I doo thee defye,
And all such company I doo deny.
For thou art a companion for roisters and ruffins,
And not fit for any vertuous companions.
Newfan.
¶ And in faith art thou at plaine defiaunce?
then I see I must goe to mine olde acquaintaunce.
VVel Cutbert cutpurse and Pierce pickpurse, we must goe togither
For like wil to like quoth the Deuil to the Colier.
Ver.life.
¶ Indeed thou saist true it must needs be so,
For like wil euer to like goe.
And my conditions and thine so farre doo disagree,
That no familiarity between vs may be.
For thou nourishest vice both day and night,
My name is vertuous life and in vertue is my delight.
So vice and vertue cannot togither be vnited,
But the one the other hath alwaies spighted.
For as water quencheth fier and the flame dooth suppres,
So vertue hateth vice and seeketh a redres.
P.pick.
¶ Tush if he be so dangerous let vs not bim esteem.
And he is not for our company I see very wel:
[Page]For if he be so holy as he dooth seen.
we and he differ as much as Heauen and Hell.
C.cutpurs
¶ You knowe that like wil to like alway.
And you see how holily he is now bent:
To seek his company why doo we assay?
I promise you, doo you what you wil, I wil not consent.
For I passe not for him be he better or be he wurise,
Newfan.
¶ Freend if you be wise be ware of your pursse.
For this fellow may doo you good when all comes to all,
If you chauce to loose your pursse in Cutpurse hall.
But in faith fare ye wel sith of our company you be wery:
we wil goe to a place where we wil make mery.
For I see your company and ours doo far differ,
For like wil to like quoth the Deuil to the Colier.
P.Pick.
¶ Well let vs be gon and did him adue:
For I see this prouerb proueth very true.
C.cutpurs
¶ Then let vs goe to Hob filchers house,
where we wil be mery and quasse carous.
And there shall we finde Tom tospot with other moe,
Meet mates for vs therfore let vs goe.
Newfan.
¶ Then seeing we are all of one minde:
Let vs three go and leaue a knaue heer behinde,
Exeunt they iij.
They sing this song as they goe out from the place.
Cutbart
¶ Good hostes lay a Crab in the fire, end broil a messe of Sous a:
That we may tosse the hole so and fro, and brinks them all carous a
Newfan.
¶ And I wil pledge Tom to spot til I be as drunk as a meuse a:
Who so wil drink to me all day, I wil pledge them all carous a.
P.pick.
¶ Then we wil not spare for any cost, so long as we be in a house a:
Then hostes filthe
[...]of again, for I pledge them all carous a.
Finis.
Ver.life.
¶ Oh wicked
[...] that haue such delig
[...]t,
In euil conuersation wicked and
[...]
And from vertues lo
[...] withdraw yourselues quite,
And lean to vice most
[...] and d
[...]testa
[...]le.
How prone and
[...] to insue,
[Page]How defe we be good
[...] to heare?
How strange we make it our ha
[...]ts to be nere?
How little we haue Gods threats in feare?
When this is spoken he must pause and then say as followeth.
Saint
Augustine saith in his 5. book
de ciuitate Dei,
Coniuncta sunt edes Vertutis et honoris (saith he)
The house of Vertue and Honour ioyned togither be.
And so the way to Honours house is disposed,
that through vertues house he must needs passe:
Or else from honour he shall soone be deposed,
and brought to that point that he before was.
But if through vertue honour be attained:
The path to saluation may soon be gained.
Some there be that doo fortune prefer,
Some esteem plesure more then vertuous life:
But in mine opinion all such doo erre,
For vertue and fortune be not at strife.
Where vertue is, fortune must needs growe:
But fortune without vertue hath soon the ouerthrowe.
Thrise happy are they that doo vertue imbrace,
For a Crowne of glory shall be their rewarde:
Sa
[...]han at no time may him any thing deface,
For God ouer him wil haue such regarde.
That his foes he shall soon tread vnder his foot:
And by Gods permission, pluck them vp by the root.
It booteth not vice against vertue to stur,
For why vice is feeble and of no force:
But
Vi
[...]tus eterna preclaraque habentur.
wherfore I would all men would haue a remorse.
And eschue euil company vile and pernicious.
And as the end of vertue is honour and felicitie,
So mark wel the end of wickednes and vice:
Shame in
[...]his world and pain eternally,
[Page]VVherfore you that are heere learn to be wise.
And the end of the one, with the other waye:
By that tune you haue heard the end of this play.
But why doo I thus much say in the praise of Vertue?
Sith the thing praise woorthy need no praise at all:
It praiseth it self sufficiently this is true,
VVhich chaseth away sinne as bitter as gall.
And where Vertue is, it need not to be praised:
For the renowne therof shall soon be raised.
Intrat good fame
Good fame.
¶ Oh vertuous life God rest you mery,
to you I am come to attend,
Ver.life.
¶ Good Fame you are welcome hartely,
I pray you who did you hether send?
G.fame.
¶ Euen Gods promise hath sent me vnto you,
willing me not from you to depart:
But alwaies to giue attendance due,
And in no wise from you to start.
For god of his promise hath moste liberally,
Sent me good fame to you Vertuous life:
VVherby it may be seene manifestly,
Gods great zeale to vertue both in man and wife.
For why they may be sure that I good Fame,
From the Vertuous life will stray:
Wherby honour and renown may grow to their name,
And eternall saluation at the latter day.
Ver.life.
¶ God is gratious and full of great mercy,
To such as in vertue set their whole delight:
Powring his benefites vpon them aboundantly:
Oh man what meanest thou with sauiour to fight?
Come vnto him for he is full of mercy.
The fountain of vertue and of godlines the spring,
Come vnto me and thou shalt liue euerlastingly:
He dooth not require thee any price to bring,
[Page]
Venite ad me omnes qui laboratis onerati estis et ego reficiam vos.
Come vnto me ye that trauaile (saith he,
And such as with sinne are heuily laden:
And of my selfe refreshed you shall be.
Repent, repent, your deeds shall be down troden,
Wel Good Fame sith God of his goodnes,
Hath hether sent you on me to attend:
Let vs giue thanks to him with humblenes,
And perswade with all men their liues to amend.
Good fame.
¶ Vertuous life therto I doo agree,
For it becommeth all men to doo so:
But beholde yonder commeth Gods promise as seemeth to me,
And honour with him commeth also.
Enter gods promises and Honour with him.
Ver.life.
¶ Such godly company liketh me very wel:
for vicioꝰ mē frō our cōpany we would expel
Gods pro.
¶ God rest you mery both, and God be your good guide:
Honour.
¶ We are now come to the place where we must abide,
For from you Vertuous life, I honour may not slide.
Gods pro
¶ I am Gods promise which is a thing etern.
And nothing more surer then his promises may be:
A sure foundation to such as wil learn,
Gods precepts to obserue then must they needs see.
Honour in this world, and at last a Crown of glorye,
Euer in ioy and mirth, and neuer to be sory.
Wherfore oh Vertuous life to thee we doo repaire,
As messengers from God, his promise to fulfil:
And therfore sit you downe in this Chaire,
For to indue you with honour it is Gods promise and wil.
Vertuous liuing sitteth downe in the Chaire.
Honour,
¶ Now take this swoord in hand as a token of victorye,
This Crowne from my head to you I shall giue?
I crowne you with it as one moste woorthy,
[Page]And see that all vice ye doo punish and greeue.
For in this world I honour with you shall remain.
And g
[...]od fame from you cannot refrain?
And after this life a greater Crown you shall attain.
Ver.life,
¶ What hart can think: or what tung can expresse?
The great goodnes of God which is almightye:
Who seeeth this, and seeketh not vice to suppresse,
Honour, good fame, yea and life euerlastingly.
Thy name be praised oh Lord therfore:
And to thee only be glory and honour.
Good fa.
¶ S'th Gods promise hath brought honour in to this place,
I will for a while leaue you three alone:
For I must depart now for a litle space,
But I shal come to you again anon.
Exit Good fame.
Gods pro.
¶ Gods promise is infallible, his woord is most true,
And to ground theron a man may be bolde:
As Scripture dooth testifye and declare vnto you,
On which foundation your building you may beholde.
For vertuous rulers the fruit of felicitie do
[...] reap:
And the reward of fame, & honour to themselues they heap.
Honour.
¶ Seing we haue now indued him with y
• crown and swoord,
Which is due vnto him by Gods promise and woord:
Let vs three sing vnto God with one accord.
Gods pro.
¶ To sing praises vnto God it liketh wel me:
Ver.life.
¶ And I also with you therto doo agree.
A plesant noise to Gods eares it must needs bring:
That Gods promise, Honour, and Vertuous life doo sing.
They sing this song following.
This must be sung after euery verse.
Life is but short hope not therin:
Vertue immortall seek for to win.
[Page]Who so to vertue dooth apply,
Good Fame and Honour must obtaine:
And also liue eternally,
For Vertuous life this is the gaine.
Life is but shorte, &c.
Gods promise sure will neuer faile,
His holy woord is a perfect ground,
The forte of vertue oh man assaile,
Where tresure alway dooth abound.
Life is but short, &c.
To thée alone be laud and praise,
Oh Lord thou art so mercifull:
Who neuer failed at all assaies,
To aid and help the pitifull.
Life is but short hope not therin:
FINIS.
Exeunt omnes.
Heere entreth Nichole Newfangle, and bringeth in with him a Bagge, a Staffe, a Bottle, and two halters, going about the place shewing it to the audience, and singing this.
Trim marchandise trim trim, trim marchandise trim trim,
He may sing this as oft as he thinketh good.
Newfan.
¶ Mary heer is merchandise who list for to buy any,
Come see for your loue and buy for your money.
This is the land which I must distribute anon:
According to my promise or I beg on.
For why Tom tospot since he went hence:
Hath incr
[...]sed a Noble iust vnto nine pence.
And Rate roister, it may none otherwise be chosen:
Hath brought a pack of wul to a saite paire of hosen.
This is good thrift learn it who shall:
And now a couple of felowes, are come from cutpurse hall.
And there haue they brought many a purse to wrack:
Loe heerts geer that wil make their necks to crack.
[Page]For I promised Tom tospot and Rafe roister a peece of Land,
Loe heere it is redy in my right hand.
A wallet and Bottle, but it is not to be solde:
I tolde them before that of beggers maner it did holde.
And for Cutbert Cutpurse, and Pierce Pickpurse heere is good fare,
This is the land of the two legged Mare.
Which I to them promised and deuide it with discretion:
Shortly you shall see I wil put them in possession.
How like you this Marchandise my maister? is not this trim?
A wallet, a Bottle, a Staffe and a String.
In faith Rafe roister is in good case as I suppose,
For he hath lost all that he hath, saue his Doublet and his Hose,
And tom tospot is euen at the same poynte:
For he would loose a Lim or ieopard a ioynt.
But beholde yonder they come bothe, now all is gone and spent,
I knowe their errand and what is their intent.
Heere entreth Rafe Roister and Tom Tospot in their Dublet and their Hose, and no Cap nor Hat on their head, sauing a night Cap because the strings of the beards may not be seene, and Rafe Roister must cursse and ban as he commeth in.
T. Tos.
¶ Wel, be as be may is no banning,
But I feare that when this geere shall come to scanning.
The land to the which we did wholy trust:
Shall be gone from vs and we cast in the dust.
R. roister.
¶ Gogs blood if Nichol newfangle serue vs so:
we may say that we haue had a shrewd blowe.
For all that I had is now lost at dice,
My Swoord, my Buckler and all at sink and sice,
My Cote, my Cloke, and my Hat also,
And now in my Dublet and my Hose I am faine to goe.
Therfore if Nichol newfangle help not now at a pinch:
[Page]I am vndoon for land I haue not an inch.
T.Tos.
¶ By Gogs wounds euen so it is with me:
I am in my doublet and my hose as ye see.
For all that I had dooth lye at pledge for Ale:
By the masse I am as bare as my naile.
Not a Crosse of money to blesse me haue I,
But I trow we shall meet with Nichol newfangle by and by.
Newfan.
¶ Turn hether turn hether, I say sir knaue:
For I am euen he that you so fain would haue.
R.Roister.
¶ What? Maister Nichole are you heer all this while▪
N.New.
¶ I think I am heere or els I doo thee begile.
T. Tos.
¶ So God help me I am glad that you be in sight:
For in faith your presence hath made my hartlight.
Ni.New.
¶ I wil make it lighter anon I trowe:
My ma
[...]sters I haue a peece of land for you, doo you not knowe?
R. roister
¶ Mary that is the cause of our hether resort:
For now we are void of all ioy and comfort.
T. Tos.
¶ You see in what care we now stand in,
And you he
[...]rd vs also euen now I ween.
VVh
[...] good maister Nichol let vs haue this land now:
And
[...] our selues much bound vnto you.
Newfan.
¶ You know that I this land must deuide.
VVhich I shall doo but a while abide.
All
[...] at pledge be:
And
[...] a parte of Dice hath made thee free.
[...] come thou vnto me.
He giueth the bag to R. roister and the bottle to T. Tospot
Beca
[...]se
[...] hast lost euery whit at dice,
take y
u this
[...] to cary Bread and cheese.
And take thou this bottle and mark what I shall say:
If he chaunce
[...] the bread and Cheese by the way.
Doo thou in this matter follow my councel:
Drink by the drink and knock him about the head with the bottle
And because that Rase is the Elder knaue:
[Page]this staffe also of me thou shalt haue?
R. Roister
¶ But where is the land that to vs you promised:
Newfan.
¶ In faith good fellowes my promise is performed.
T. Tos.
¶ By Gogs blood I thought that it would be so,
Newfan.
¶ This must you haue whether you wil or no.
Or els fall to woork with Shouel and with spade:
For begging now must be your cheefest trade.
R.Roister
¶ Gods hart can I away with this life?
To beg my bread from doore to doore?
I wil rather cut my throte with a knife,
then I will liue thus beggerly and poore.
By Gogs blood rather then I wil it assay:
I wil rob and steale, and keep the hye way.
T. Tos.
¶ Wel Rafe roister seeing we be in this miserie,
And labour we cannot and to beg it is a shame:
Yet better it is to beg most shamfully,
then to be hanged and to theeuery our selues to frame.
Ni.New.
¶ Now my masters learn to beware:
But like will to like quod the Deuil to the Coliar.
R. roister.
¶ Oh Lord why did not I consider this before,
what should of roisting be the finall end?
Now the house is stolen I shut the stable doore,
Alas that I had time my life to amend.
Time I haue I must needs confesse,
But yet in misery that time must be spent:
Seeing that my life I would not redresse,
But wholy in riot I haue it all spent.
VVherfore I am now brought to this exigent.
But the time past cannot be called again this is no nay,
Wherfore all you heere take example by me:
Time tarieth no man but passeth stil away,
take time while time is for time dooth flee:
Vse wel your youthfull yeeres and to vertues
[...]ore agree.
[Page]For if I to vertue had any respect,
this misfortune to me could not haue chaunced:
But because vnto vice I was a subiect;
to no good fame may I now be aduaunced.
My credit also is now quite staunched.
Wherfore I would all men my wofull case might see:
that I to them a mirrour might be.
T. Tos.
¶ Oh all ye parents to you I doo say,
Haue respect to your Children and for their education:
Least you answere therfore at the latter day,
And your meed shall be eternall damnation.
If my parents had brought me vp in vertue and learning,
I should not haue had this shamefull end:
But all licenciously was my vp bringing,
wherfore learn by me your faults to amend.
But neither in vertue, learning, nor yet honest trade▪
was I bred vp my liuing for to get:
therfore in misery my life away must fade,
For vicious persons beholde not the net.
I am in the snare I am caught with the gin:
And now it is too late, I cannot again begin.
Newfan.
¶ This geere would haue been looked too before:
But now my maisters you are vpon the skore.
Be packing I say and get you hence:
Learn to say I pray good maister giue me nine pence.
R.Roister.
¶ Thou villain art only the cauler of this woe:
therfore thou shalt haue some thing of meere I goe.
T. Tos.
¶ Thou hast giuen me a Bottle heere:
But thou shalt drink first of it be it Ale or beere.
Rase roister beateth him with the staffe, and Tom Tospot with the bottell▪
R.Roister.
¶ Take this of me before I goe henee,
T. Tos.
¶ Take this of me in parte of recompence.
Newfan.
[Page]
¶ Now am I driuen to play the maister of fence.
Come no neer me you knaues for your ine:
Least I stick you both with this wood knife.
They haue him doun & beat him be crieth for help
Back I say back thou sturdy beggar:
body of me they haue tane away my daggar
R.Roister
¶ Now in faith you whorson take heed I you acu
[...]se:
How you doo any more yong men intice.
T.Tos.
¶ Now farwell thou hast thy iust meed:
R.Roister
¶ Now we goe a begging God send vs good speed.
Rafe roister and Tom Tospot goeth out, and Seueritie the Iudge entreth, And Nichol Newfangle lieth on the ground groning.
Seueritye.
¶ That vpright iudgement without parcialitie,
Be ministred duely to ill dooers and offenders:
I am one whose name is Seueritie,
Appointed a Iudge to suppresse euil dooers.
Not for hatred nor yet for malice:
But to aduaunce vertue and suppresse vice.
VVherfore
Isidorus these woords dooth say:
Non est Iudex si in eo non est Iusticia.
He is not a Iudge that Iustice dooth want:
But he that trueth and equitie dooth plant.
Tully all these woords dooth expresse:
which woords are very true doubtlesse.
Semper iniquus est, qui autinuidet aut
[...]auet,
They
[...]
[...]rightfull Iudges all:
that are ei
[...]her,
[...]uious or els partiall.
Newfan.
¶ [...] vp good sir for I haue got a fall.
[...]
[...] [...]au [...]e haue you my freend thus beauily to grone
[...]
¶ O
[...] sir I haue good cause to make great mone.
Heere
[...] too
[...]ellow
[...]s but right now:
What
[...] think haue killed me I make God a vow.
[...] aliue or am I dead?
Seueritye.
[Page]
¶ Fellowe it is more need for thee to be in thy bed.
Then to lye heere in such so
[...] as thou doost:
Newfan.
¶ In faith I should haue laid some of the knaues in the dust.
If I had your swoord right now in presence:
I would hrue had a leg or an arme ere they had gon hence.
Severitye.
¶ Who is it that hath doon thee this iniury?
Newfan.
¶ A couple of beggers haue doon me this vilary.
Seueritye.
¶ I see if seueritie should not be executed,
One man should not liue by another:
If such iniuries should not be con
[...]uted.
The Childe would not regard Father nor mother.
Giue me thy hand and I wil help thee,
Newfan.
¶ Hold fast your swoord then I pray you hartely.
He riseth.
Seueritye.
¶ Now freend it appeereth vnto me:
That you haue been a trauailer of the Cuntrie.
And such as doo trauaile doo heare of things doon:
Aswel in the cuntrie as in the Citie of London.
How say you my freend can you tel any newes?
Newfan.
¶ That can I, for I came lately from the stewes.
There are knaues abroad you may beleeue me.
As in this place shortly you shall see.
No more woords but mum and stand a while aside:
Yonder commeth two knaues therfore abide.
Enter Cutbert Cutpurse and Pierce Pickpurse.
C.cutpurs.
¶ By gogs wounds if he help not now we are vndoon,
By the mas for my part I wot not where to run.
VVe be so pursued on euery side:
that by gogs hart I wot not where to abide.
Euery Constable is charged to make priuy search:
So that if we may be got, we shalbe thrown ouer the perch.
P.Pick.
¶ If F
[...]ichol newfangle help not now in our need:
we are like in our busines ful euil to speed.
therfore let vs make no more delay,
[Page]But seek him out of hand and be gone away,
Newfan.
¶ Soft my maisters a while I you pray,
For I am heer for whom you doo seek:
For you know that like wil neuer from like.
I promised you of late a peece of land:
Which by and by shall fall into your hand.
C.cutpurs
¶ VVhat maister Nichol, how doo you to day?
P.Pick.
‡ For the passion of God maister Nichol help to rid vs away,
And help vs to the land wherof you did say.
that we might make money of it by and by:
For out of the Realm we purpose to flee.
Newfan.
‡ Mary I wil help you I swere by allhallowes:
I wil not part from you till you come to the gallowes.
Lo noble Seueritie these be they without doubt,
On whom this rumor of the euery is gon about.
Therfore my maisters heer is the snare:
that shall lead you to the land called the two legged mare.
He putteth about each of their necks an Halter.
Seueritye.
¶ My freend holde them fast in that plight:
Ni.New.
‡ Then come and help me with your swoord, for I feare they wil fight.
Severitye.
‡ Striue not my maisters for it shall not auaile:
But a while giue care vnto my counsaile.
Your owne woords haue condemned you for to dye:
therfore to God make you your selues redy.
And by and by I wil send one which for your abusion,
Shall lead you to the place of execution.
Newfan.
‡ Help to tye their hāds before ye be gon.
He helpeth to tye them
Seueritye.
‡ Now they are bound I wil send one to you anon.
Exit
Newfan.
‡ Ah my maisters how like you this play?
You shall take possession of your land to day.
I wil help to bridle the two legged mare,
And both you for to ride need not to spare.
[Page]Now so God help me I swere by this Bread,
I meruaile who shall play the knaue when you twain be dead.
C.cutpurs
¶ Oh cursed caitiue borne in an ill hower,
VVoe vnto me that euer I did thee knowe:
For of all iniquitie thou art the bowre,
the seed of Sathan thou doost alwaies sowe.
thou only hast giuen me the ouerthrowe.
VVoe woorth the house wherin I was borne,
woe woorth the time that euer I knew thee,
For now in misery I am forlorne.
Oh all youth take example by me.
Flee from euill company as from Serpent ye would flee:
For I to you all a mirrour may be.
I haue been daintily and delicately bred,
But nothing at all in vertues lore:
And now I am but a man dead,
Hanged I must be which greeueth me full sore.
Note well the end of me therfore.
And you that fathers and Mothers be:
Bring not vp your Children in to much libertie,
P.pick.
¶ Sith that by the law we are condemned,
Let vs call to God for his mercie and grace:
And exhort that all vice may be amended,
while we in this world haue time and space.
And though our liues haue licenciously been spent,
Yet at the last to God let vs call:
For he heareth such as are ready to repent,
And desireth not that sinners should fall.
Now are we ready to suffer, come when it shall.
Heer entreth Hankin Hangman.
Newfan.
¶ Come Hankin hangman let vs two cast lots,
And between vs deuide a couple of coates.
take thou the one and the other shalbe mine:
[Page]Come Hankin Hangman thou cainst in good time.
They take off their Cotes and deuide them.
H.hang.
¶ Thou shouldst haue one (Nichol) I swere by the masse:
For thou bringest woork for me dayly to passe.
And through thy means I get more cotes in a yeere:
then all my liuing is woorth beside, I swere.
Therfor Nichol newfangle we depart neuer,
For like wil to like quoth the Deuil to the Collier.
Newfan.
¶ Now farwel Hankin hangman, farwel to thee:
H.hang.
¶ Farwel Nichol newfangle come you two with me.
Hankin goeth out and leadeth the one in his right hand, and the other in his left, hauing halters about their necks.
Newfang.
¶ Ha, ha, ha, there is a brace of hounds wel woorth a dozen Crowns
beholde the huntsman leadeth away:
I think in twenty towns, on hills and eke on downs,
they taken haue their pray.
So well liked was their hunting on hill and eke on mountain.
that now they be vp in a leace:
To keep within a string it is now a gay thing,
doo all you holde your peace.
Why then good gentle boy, how likest thou this play?
no more but say thy minde:
I swere by this day, if thou wilt this assay,
I wil to thee be kinde.
This is wel brought to passe of me I swere by the masse,
some to hang and other some to beg:
I would I had Balams asse to cary me where I was,
how say you little Mec.
Rafe roister and Tom tospot are not now woorth a grote,
So wel with them it is:
I would I had a pot for now I am so whot,
by the ma
[...]e I must goe pis
[...]e.
Philip fleming and Haunce hath daunst a prity daunce,
[Page]that all is now spent out:
And now a great mischaunce came on while they did praunce,
they lye sick of the gout.
And in a spittle house, with little Laurence louse,
they be fame to dwell:
if they eate a morsel of souce, or els a rosted mouce,
they think they doo fare well.
But as for pierce pickpurse, and cutbert cutpurse,
you saw them both right now:
with them it is much wurse, for they doo ban and curse,
for the halter shall them bow.
Now if I had my nag, to see the world wag.
I would straight ride about:
Ginks doo fil the bag, I would not passe a rag,
to hit you on the snout.
Heer entreth the Deuil.
Lucifer.
¶ Ho, ho, ho, mine own boy make no more delay,
But leap vpon my back straight way.
Newfan.
¶ Then who shall holde my stirrop while I goe to horse?
Lucifer.
¶ Tush for that doo thou not force,
Leap vp I say, leap vp quickly.
Ni.New.
¶ VVho ball who, and I will come by and by.
Now for a paire of spurs I would giue a good grote:
to try whether the iade dooth amble or trot.
Farwel my maisters til I come again:
For now I must make a iourney into Spaine.
He rideth away on the deuils back.
Heer entreth Vertuous life and Honour.
Ver.life.
‡ Oh woorthy Diadem▪ oh iewel most precious.
Oh vertue which dooth all worldly things excell:
How worthy a treasure thou art to the vertuous
thy praise no pen can write ne tung tel.
[Page]For I who am called vertuous life,
Haue in this world both honour and dignitie:
Immortall fame of man, childe and wife,
Dayly waiteth and attendeth on me.
The commoditie of vertue in me you may behold,
the enormities of vice you haue also seene:
Therfore to make an end we may be bolde,
And pray for our noble and vertuous Queene.
Honour.
‡ To doo so vertuous life it is our bounden dutye,
And because we must doo so before we doo end,
To aid vs therin Good fame commeth verily,
which dayly and hourely on you dooth attend.
Heer entreth Good fame.
Good fa.
¶ Vertuous life doo what you list.
to pray or to sing I wil you assist.
Ver.life,
¶ O Lord of hostes, oh K
[...]ng almightye,
Poure down thy grace vpon our noble Queene:
Vanquish her foes Lord that dayly and nightly,
through her thy lawes may be sincerely seen.
Honour.
‡ The honourable Counsaile also O Lord preserue,
The Lords both of the Clergie and of the temporalitie:
Graunt that with meeknes they may thee serue,
Submitting to thee with all humilitie.
[...]
[...]ame.
¶ Oh Lord preserue the commons of this Realme also,
Poure vpon them thy heauenly grace:
To aduaunce vertue and vice to ouerthrowe,
that at the last in Heauen with thee they may haue a place.
AMEN.