Note: The text of THE LONGER THOU LIVEST THE MORE FOOL THOU ART was submitted by Prof. Ian Lancashire, April/87. -----*****------- A Very Merry and Pithy Comedy Called The Longer Thou Livest The More Fool Thou Art THE PROLOGUE Aristophanes, as Valerius doth tell, Introduceth Periclesin acomedy That he, being reduced again set of hell Unto th'Athenienses did thus prophes: Bring up no lions in your cities wantonly For,as you bring them up in acts pernicious, So in the same you must be to them obsequious. By this, saith Valerius, he doth admonish That rich men's sons be from evil manners refrained Let that with profuse fondness do them nourish (Virtue of them ever after be disdained) So that, when authority they have obtained, They themselves being given to inconvenience Oppress their subjects under their obedience. O how noble a thing I good education, For all estates profitable, but for them chiefly Which by birth are like to have gubernation In public weals, that they may rule everjustly; For while the Romans did foresee this matter wisely, They had a wise senate which prevailed alway, And that being neglected, they fell soon to decay. To be a good man it I also expedient Of good parents to be begotten and born; Indeed to all men it is most evident That a pleasant rose springeth of a sharp thorn, But commonly of good seed proceedeth good corn. Good parents in good manners do instruct their child, Correcting him when he beginneth to grow wild. The bringing up of a child from his tender age In virtue is a great help to be an honest man; But when youth is suffer'd to have his own rage, It falleth to much calamity now and then. I would wish parents and masters to do what they can Both to teach and correct their youth with reason, That it may profit the public weal another season. To help hereto good schoolmasters are necessary-- Sage, sober, expert, learned, gentle and prudent-- Under such masters youth can never miscarry For either they refrain evils with good advisement, Or to occupy the mind good lessons do invent. To youth nothing in the world is so pernicious As to be conversant with masters lascivious. Bringing up is a great thing, so is diligence, But nothing, God except, isso strong as nature; For neither counsel, learning nor sapience Can an evil nature to honest manners allure. Do we not see at these days so many past cure That nothing can their crookedness rectify Till they have destroyed them utterly? The image of such persons we shall introduce, Represented by one whom Moros we do call; By him we shall declare the unthrifty abuse Of such as had lever to folly and idleness fall Than to harken to sapience when he doth call, Their process, how their whole life they dospend, And what shame they come to at the last end. Wherefore this our matter we entitle and name: The longer thou livest, the more fool thou art. Are there not many which do verify the same? Yes, I warrant you, and naturally play that part, Yea, even from the judgment seat unto the cart. But truly we mean no person particularly, But only to specify of such generally. Wholesome lessons now and then we shall interlace, Good lor the ignorant, not hurtful to the wise; Honest mirth shall come in and appear in place, Not to th'advancement but to the shame of vice. To extol virtue without fail is our device. A season we shall desire you of patience, And to make you merry we will do our diligence. <1Here enter'th Moros,counterfeiting a vain gesture and a folish>1 <1countenance>1 1[and] singing the foot of many songs as fools were wont [,and>1 <1Disciplinel].>1 MOROS. Broom, broom on hill, The gentle broom on hive hill, Broom, broom on hill, The gentle broom on hive hill. The broom stands on hive hill-a. Robin, lend to me thy bow; thy bow; Robin, the bow; Robin lend to me thy bow-a. There was a maid came out of Kent, Dainty love, dainty love; There was a maid came out of Kent, Dangerous be. There was a maid came out of Kent, Fair, proper, small and gent, As ever upon the ground went, For so should it be. By a bank as I lay, I lay, Musing on things past, hey how. Tom-a-lin and his wife and his wife's mother, They went over a bridge all three together; The bridge was broken and they fell in. The devil go wiih all, quoth Tom-a-lin. Martin Swart and his man, sodledum, sodledum, Martin Swart and his man, sodledum bell. Come over the bourn, Bessie, My little pretty Bessie, Come over the bourn, Bessie,tome. The white dove sat on the castle wall, I bend my bow and shoot her I shall, I put her in my glove, both feathers and all. I laid my bridle upon the shelf If you will any more, sing it yourself. DISIPLINE. O Lord, are you not ashamed Thus vainly the time to spend? Your friends by you are defamed. I would have you this gear to amend. What? to a good age now you grow; It is time childishness to forsake. I would find somewhat to do, I trow, And not like a fool such a noise to make, Going up and down like a witless boy, Singing and be flowing like a daw. If you will not amend this toy, We will bring you to another awe. MOROS. I have twenty moe songs yet. A fond woman to my mother, As I war wont in her lap to sit, She taught me these and many other. I can sing a song of Robin Redbreast And my little pretty nightingale-- There dwefleth a jolly foster here by west-- Also, I come to drink some of your Christmas ale. When I walk by myself alone, It doth me good my songs to render; Such pretty things would soon be gone, If I should not sometime them remember. DISIPLINE. <1Gaudet stultis natura creandis>1 (Nature hath a pleasure foois to create) <1Ut malvis atque urticis et vilibus herbis>1 (As mallows, nettles, and weeds of that rate) <1Hii sunt obtuso ingenio crasso cerebro>1 (These are dull of wit and of a gross brain) <1Et nihili pendunt animi bona depeci ludo>1 (And set at nought virtue, given to pastime vain). These verses I may on you verify Except you will take another way; I would be glad your manners to rectify. If you would hear what I will say. For shame, I say yet again; Forget your babish vanity; Folly and vice you must refram And give yourself to humanity. MOROS. I am good at scourging of my top; You would laugh to see me mossell the peg. Upon my one foot prettily I can hop And dance trimly about an egg. Also when we play and hunt the fox, I outrun all the boys in the school. My mother gave me a boll of box; Alone I am to handle such a tool. I can come softly behind a boy And give him a blow and run away. My mother teacheth me many a pretty toy; You shall know what they be one day. When to fight, quoth my father, thou dost purpose, Pluck him upward by the hair still, With thy knuckles strike him on the nose. Let him not go till thou have thy will. DISSIPLINE. <1Quales Quisque sibi natos eduxit habebit;>1 As one bringeth up his children, saith he, So shall he have them, wise or without wit. Therefore, parents are to blame as here we see. But to you now, I pray you tell, Be these the best lessons of your parents? MOROS. No forsooth, I can ring the saunce bell And fetch fire when they go to matins. DISIPLINE. Better it were to have no education Than to be instructed in any Part of idolatry; For there is no part without abomination But altogether full of sects and heresy. MOROS. Nay, I can more than that. Hark in your ear:. "To call him knave"--I go not behind the door-- "Be bold," quoth my father, "and do not fear; If thy mother anger thee, call her whore." DISIPLINE. Without doubt such lewd persons there are, And this is the cause that so many evil men Now replenish the earth with sorrow and care, Not one good man is scarcely among ten. Let this ungracious and foolish person Be as an image of such bringing up, Like to be as unhappy a patron As ever drank of any man's cup. For the love that we owe to mankind, And chiefly untl Christianity, We will prove to alter his mind And bring him to humanity. <1[Enter>1 Piety.] PIETY. All hail, right honorable Discipline. Well-occupied evermore I do you find, Instructing one or other with doctrine According to your natural kind, Which is both comely manners to teach And also to minister correction. If all men unto your precepts would reach, Soon should be cleansed all infection. DISCIPLINE. O welcome Piety, the door of all virtue. If you consisteth God's honor, virtue and love, Without the which no good thing can ensue, As by the Christian poet we do prove: <1 Hoc sine virtutis alias nihil est putato,>1 Without the worship of God omnipotent (Which learned men properly call piety) Other virtues, be they never so excellent, Are esteemed but as things of vility. EXERCITATION. And as virtue is no virtue without Piety So, without the same, vice cannot be eschewed. Piety is a true honor of God's majesty Wherewith Christians should be endued. God to worship, to love, to fear, to praise, His holy commandments to obey, To be occupied in his laws nights and days-- This properly is called Piety, I say. MOROS. By my troth, if you will can me good thank, I will bring you to a pretty bird's nest. Verily, I think it be a red shank,; She is white in the tall and black in the breast. DISIPLINE. The longer thou livest the more fool thou art, The more instruction, the less sapience; Grace will not enter into a foolish heart, Iniquity stoppeth lut intelligence To you, Piety and Exercitation. Of such folly I have admonished him; But I can have none lther communication, So vainly have his parents nourished him. PIETY. Thus, the Christian poet to write was wont: Without industry, all things mortal-- <1 Naturae instinctu, sponte ruunt-->1 By very nature unto vice do fall. But as we see by experience A barren field is made fat and fertile If men will adhibit their diligence And labour about it awhile; So though this young fellow be foolish as yet, With labor and diligent admonition He may, in process of time, learn wit And be willing to take erudition. EXERCITATION. Virtue hath very hard entrances, But ready is the way untl vice; And thereto fall we all, not by chances, But willingly if we be not ware and wise. Now whereas the lad's education Hath been rude, foolish, fond, and vain, Let us give him good information And to profit him let us gladly take pain. Discipline, do you still your endeavor To cause him pefectly to know Piety-- That is, God to serve, to fear, to love, to honor-- And his parents to obey with humility. Then you know that I, Exercitation, Accordlng as I shall see his aptness, I will exercise him in good occupation Whereby he shall eschew Idleness. MOROS. In Saint Nicholas' shambles there is enough, Or in Eastcheape or at Saint Katherine's; There be good puddings at the sign of the plow, You never did eat better sauserlings. DISCIPLINE. This folly is not his innocency, Which can in this wise lewdly overwhart, But it is a malicious insolency Which proccedeth from a wicked heart. PIETY. Come hither, brother, come hither; Your name to me you must disclose. DISIPLINE. His folly his master did consider, And therefore called him nothing but Moros. PIETY. Morns is a fool by interpretation, But wisdom goeth not all by the name; He that is a fool in conversation, As a fool in deed we may him blame. I know some that be named happy, And Some good, blessed, and fortunable; Yet truly there be none more unlucky, Worse, more wicked and unprofitable. And though "Moros" a fool doth signify, Yet you may be wise, as I trust you will lf you will serve God as you ought diligently; He shall give you wisdom, if you pray still. MOROS. I may tell you, my father dld like me well, I am the wisest child that ever he had. Often times I have heard him say or tell, "My boy Moros will prove a wise lad." EXERCITATION. If you can remember your father's saying, Why can you not remember good lessons as well? You may not set your mind upon playing, But apply yourself to Discipline's counsel. DISIPLINE. My counsel is that you fear God above all; Pray unto him to give you sapience; Cease not upon his holy name to call. Be meek in sprite, fast and keep abstinenc; His ministers (priests and preachers Such as rule the holy church catholic) Obey, I mean such as be true teachers. Company not with any heretic. An heretic him holy doctors do call Which erreth in God's most sacred scripture, Which is blind and seeth not his own fall, But maliciously doth in error endure. The greatest heresy that ever was Hath the pope and his adherents published, Yea, the heresy of Arius it doth pass, For Christ and his benefits it hath extinguished. Example by the wicked Mass satisfactory Which to Christ's death they make equivalent, For they call it a sacrifice propitiator, Which is a, heresy most pestilent; Again, prayer to saints that be dead, Which is a great point of infidelity, For they forsake Christ which is the head Who taught to worship in Sprite and verity. EXERCITATION. Can you recite wisely again Discipline's counsel and monition? MOROS. Can I? yea, I trow I can and that plain If you suffer me without interruption. First, he said bear an odd end with an all, Play now and then in thy master's absence, Cease not a knave by his right name to call, Much on the spit is past abstinence. DISIPLINE. Lo you hear? what a patron this is. Think you that he is not past grace? EXERCITATION. Yet I say, he that hath wit to do this, May turn to virtue also in space. PIETY. Come hither. I pray thee tell me but one thing, How intendest thou to live another day? MOROS. How? truly, make merry, dance and sing, Set cock-a-hoop and play care away. PIETY. Seeing that you have none other respect But your life's days in folly to spend, Discipline must you now and then correct. That unto wisdom you may yourself bend. MOROS. Correct, quoth he? why, shall I be beaten? My father will not suffer that, I trow. DICSIPLINE. You begin to be scabby and worm-eaten; It is time salt upon you to strow. Sirrah, do you see what I have here? The wise man willeth an ass to have scourge; You have learned folly many a year, From the same now I must you purge. You that have the wit to mock and to scorn, What wit you have to wisdom I will see. Upon your sides this scourge shall be worn Except you will speak rightly after me: I will love and fear God above all. MOROS <1(say after him).>1 I will love and fear God above all. DISIPLINE. He might vouchsafe to give me sapience. MOROS. He might vouchsafe to give me sapience. DISCIPLINE. I shall not cease on his holy name to call. MOROS. I shall not cease on his holy name to call. DISCIPLINE. That he will open mine intelligence. MOROS. That he will open mine intelligence. DISCIPLINE. Well said. MOROS. Well said. DISCIPLINE. Say the same verses alone together Like as you said them after me. MOROS. Say the same verses alone together Like as you said them after me. PIETY. His meaning you do not consider; Alone you must say the verses as they be. MOROS. His meaning you do not consider; Alone you must say the verses as they be. EXERCITATION. You may say no more as he did say. He did but teach you your words wisely to frame. MOROS. You may say no more as he did say. He did but teach you your words wisely to frame. DISCIPLINE. With an ungracious fool we spend the day; He turneth all to a mock and a game. MOROS. With an ungracious fool we spend the day; He turneih all to a mock and a game. DISCIPLINE. Vexation, they say, giveth intelligence;, Another while I will prove you with my scourge. MOROS. Vexation, they say, giveth intelligence; Another while I will prove you with my scourge. PIETY. This heady foolishness and negligence With correction away we must purge. MOROS. This heady foolishness and negligence With correction away we must purge. EXERCITATION. We will hold him while you do him beat. Lay on, Discipline, and do not spare. MOROS. I trow I shall make you all three to sweat. Come one for one, and for you all I do not care. <1Hold him and beat him.>1 Body of God ! alas, my arse, out! out ! no more. Cry you mercy, a vengeance take you! For God's sake leave, mine arse is sore. I will say as you will have me say now. DISCIPLINE. Say thus. MOROS. Say thus. DISCIPLINE. I will love and fear God above all He might vouchsafe to give me sapience; I will not cease on his holy name to call That he may open mine intelligence. PIETY. Good son, say these words and think the same; And we will teach you other good lessons moe. MOROS. You have put me out, God give you shame. I wot not which way the devil they go. DISCIPLINE <1(repeat them again).>1 I will love and fear God above all He might vouchsafe to give me sapience; I will not cease on his holy name to call That he may open mine intelligence. MOROS. I will love porridge, when thry be sod, beef and all; For mutton good sauce is salt and onions. Up unto the high dish when my dame they call, While she openeth the pie, I pick the pinions. PIETY. Let us lose no more labor about this fool, For the more he is taught the worse he is. DISCIPLINE. Hold him, and I will teach him a new School. He can speak the right that can speak this. MOROS. O beat me no more, I pray you heartily; To make you to laugh I turned them this way. Sometime I love to talk and sing merrily, But I think no harm then, by this day. EXERCITATION. In you let us some towardness see, For to make you a man we do intend. To laugh, to be merry to sing, times there be; But in such things now we have no time to spend. PIETY. Let us hear how Discipline you do understand; The sentence that he hath taught you, do you Say. MOROS <1[aside].>1 That is the best way, I think, to escape your hand, But I trust to be even with you one day.-- I will love and fear God above all He might vouchsafe to give me sapience; I will not cease on his holy name to call That he may open mine intelligense. DISCIPLINE. This is well if it be spoken with the heart; Fear sometime causeth dissimulation. MOROS. I cannot speak it, I suppose, without a heart; After fear cometh alway consolation. PIETY. I perceive that you have wit competently If you would apply it unto virtue. We will instruct you sufficiently If our doctrine you will humbly ensue. EXCERCITATION. By us you shall have this commodity: In this life you shall be in reputation, After this life you shall have felicity, That is joy in the heavenly habitation. DISCIPLINE. My son, this order with you we will take. First, I will commit you unto Piety, Who the true servant of God shall you make, And teach you to honor his Majesty, <1Here let>1 Moros <1between every sentence say, "Gay gear," "good stuff" "very>1 <1well," "fin-ade," with such mockish terms.>1 To love him, to pray to him, day and night; To know his son Jesus Christ, our Lord, Equal with the father in suhstance and might; The Holy Ghost, the author of love and concord. In him you shall learn God's word to hear, Your duty to the ministers of the same, Who the mysteries of God in their hearts do bear, To esteem the sacraments each one by name. Piety will teach you your duty to kings, To rulers and magistrates in their degree, Unto whom you must be obedient in all things Concerning the statutes and laws of the Country. It is piety your parents to obey, Yea, your prince and country to defend, The poor to comfort ever as you may, For the truth's sake your blood to spend. MOROS. Nay, ho there! By God, all things save blood. He that breaketh my head, I will break his again. PIETY. Your understanding in that is not good; Such appetites you must always refraln. EXERCITATION. After that you are endued with piety, In me you shall have exercitation To your own and other men's utility, I mean a science or occupatson Which to learn do your diligence And, being learned, do the same occupy And, occupied, by experience Seek to exercise them busily. DISCIPLINE. How say you? Will you dwell with Piety And learn his instructions with a good will? MOROS. Ithank you for your good mind toward me; I will never go from you but dwell with you still. PIETY. First, unto you a testament here I give Wherein you shall learn what the will of God is, To pray upon and to learn your Christian beleve And to amend your manners that be amiss. MOROS. God's santy, this is a goodly book indeed. Be there any saints in it and pilcrows? Ah Sir, I have spied "Christ's cross me speed." I may tell you I am past all my crossrows, I have learned beyond the ten commandments. Two years ago, doubtless, I was past grace;, I am in the midst of God's judgments. I trust to be as wise as he within short space. PIETY. I must have all these vain words to cease; Another leaf you must turn now truly. MOROS. Of good milk if you will give me daily a mess, You shall see I will wait upon you duly. PIETY. It is so that I may no longer tarry here,; I must go hence. Come, will you go with me? MOROS. Yea, that I will, for here is little good cheer; What good fare you have, I purpose to see. DISCIPLINE. Look that you do yourself honestly behave, For I purpose to See you ever day thrice. Neither mocks nor gauds shall your skin save; I advise you therefore to be honest and wise. EXERCITATION. In doing well, fear ye no punishment; Be ruled by the counsel of Discipline. Your own folly will be your detriment If you from Piety chance to decline. MOROS. I warrant you in pain of tweniy Shames I am won now, you shall See me very honest; But yer I go, yet let me know your names. Declare them, I pray you, at my request. DISCIPLINE. You know that my name is Discipline. MOROS <1[aside].>1 Very well, ver well, Diricke Quintine. You are Master Diricke Quintine. PIETY. Ofttimes you have heard me called Piety. MOROS <1[aside].>1 Master Pine-nut-tree and Master Diricke Quintine. EXERCITATION. I exercise men in good works and doctrine, And therefore Exereitation thry call me. MOROS <1[aside].>1 Arse-out-of-fashion, here is a mystication: Diricke Quintine will gather rods of the Pine-nut-tree, And beat mine arse till it be out of fashion. With this device truly I cannot agree. DISCIPLINE. Why stand you murmuring there alone? Give ear unto the words that to you be said. PIETY. Come Morns, come good son, I must be gone; To dwell with me you need not be afraid. MOROS. Afraid? no, I will go with you to the world's end; I promise you to be true night and day, For though never so much about me you do spend, I will not bear the valor of a penny away. <1Go befre him and yet say]>1 PIETY. We have taken a busy work upon us; For all our words he is not the better one pease. DISCIPLINE. Well, a season with him take ye pain; We will prove if we can do any good. MOROS. With them if long you do here remain, I will go seek a new master by the rood. <1Go out>1 Piety <1and>1 Moros] EXERCITATION. How think you? truly, I am in despair; I fear that all our labor will be lost. He is not bent neither to ahstinence nor prayer; I am advised to bestow on him no more cost. DISCIPLINE. <1Ipsaque non multo est natura potentior usu.>1 I like well that he is gone with Piety, For conversation with persons of virtue Altereth nature sometime for a surety; Custom may all kind of manners bring forth. This to be true we know by experience, But if he decay we must take it at worth; At the least let us do our diligence. EXERCITATION. If he had been taken somewhat in season, I would have hoped in his amendment; <1Between whiles let>1 Moros <1put in his head>1 But folly hath so overcharged his reason That he is past redress in my judgment. While a plant of a tree is young and tender, You may cause it to grow crooked or right; So a child, while knowledge is but slender, You may instruct whereto you will by might. But after the plant is grow, to a tree, To any bowing it will not give place; So young folks, when to age grown thry be, Wax stubborn and be of an indurate face. Again he is of a ver haughiy naiure, A wit to no goodness applied. If he shall be suffered to endure, Much evil by him shall be multiplied. DISCIPLINE. Let us see how he doth profit in piety. If he goeth anything forward therei]n Unto labor, virtue and verity, I will hope him easily to win; For as I said here a little before, Whose doth God faithfully serve and fear And above all things him love and honor, He shall thrive, go forward and prosper. EXERCITATION. I believe that with Piety he went From correction himself to wind, For if he to any virtue be bent, I am much deceived truly in my mind. Certain persons I could rehearse by name Have pretended a great perfection, And why? To avoid punishment and shame Due for their vicious infection. As some have enter'd into religion, Wherefore? Because they will not pay their debt When they are persons of no good devotion, For upon vanity their hearts are set. DISCIPLINE. Go we softly and hearken for his fashion. If with any lewdness I chance him to take, I shall minister to him such correction As shall make his flesh tremble and quake. EXERCITATION. With Piety you are not like him to find, He did put in his head twice or thrice. He looketh for mates of another kind; Wholly he is given to folly and vice. DISCIPLINE. He is like to escape ver narrowly If neither of us catch him by the back; Except he be corrected thoroughly, He will still use his foolish knack. <1Go out both.>1 <1Here enter'th>1 Idleness. IDLENESS. Where the devil is the whoreson fool? He bad me even now come hither. Doubtless he is gone again to school, Even very now we were together. Truly, they will make him a fool indeed. Teach him good manners? Teach my dog! When you see him in learning proceed, Then will I make a man of this log. What ho ! where art thou, Moros? what ho? Doubtless thry take pain about a stone. Doting fools think to make corn to grow Upon gravel where earth there is none. MOROS (<1cry without the door, making a noise of beatingl)>1 Aas, alas, no more! no more, no more! No more, good Master Diricke Quintine. Body of God! you beat me so sore I will forsake you and your doctine. IDLENESS. No force hardily let them not spare. What doth the fool in such company? O, that they would beat him on the buttocks bare. To see that I would spend an half penny. What how, Moros? come hither I say. He will not tarry long I dare warrant; He and I meet ever once in a day. Little will he stick to play the truant. <1Here enter'th>1 Incontinence. INCONTINENCE. What? Idleness, the parent of all vice, Who thought to have found thee here? IDLENESS. Then art thou neither mannerly nor wise, As by thy salutation doth appear; For if I of vice be the parent, Then thy parent I must needs be. Thou art a vice by all men's consent; Therefore, it is like that I begat thee. INCONTINENCE. My parent? then hang my parent! No sir, I am your fellow and mate; Therewith you may be well content, For I am of no small estate: <1Otium enim fomes vitiorum est otium mentem,>1 <1Ad multa mala trahit otii comas ipsa libido est--->1 Idleness of vices is a provocation, To many evils Idleness draweth the mind. Lust, or lecherous inclination, Is fellow to Idleness by kind. Lo, I have proved by authority That I am thy fellow, as I said; To be my parent it were temerity. Your argument here I have stayed. IDLENESS. They were thine own words and not mine. The parent of all vice thou didst me call; Then it followeth that I am thine, For thou art the greatest vice of all. The greatest mischief that ever chanced Came by the mean, of inconstancy; For whereas thou art enhanced, There is all mischief and insolency. <1Here enter'th>1 Wrath. WRATH. Make room! stand back in the devil's name! Stand back, or I will lay thee on the face. INCONTINENCE. Merry, stand thou back with a very shame. Is there not room enough in the place? IDLENESS. It is but a copy of his countenanse; Wrath must declate his property. INCONTINENCE. He is as hot as a vengeance-- <1[Aside.]>1 Stand back and give him liberty. WRATH. I had went it had been another, I thought to have given thee a blow; In my rage I favor not my brother. The nature of Wrath full well you do know. IDLENESS. Wrath and madness thry say be all one, Saving that madness doth still remain; But wrath in fools will soon be gone, Yea, and as soon it will come again. INCONTINENCE. To fools not only incontinency Is annexed but wrath also furious,; The mind of fools without clemency Soon waxeth hot and is temerarious. WRATH. Speaking of fools, it cometh to my remembrance I thought to have found Moros, the fool, here. IDLENESS. He goeth to school now with a vengeance, He shall be a doctor the next year. WRATH. To school? ha, ha, ha, as angry as I am, I must laugh to hear of Moros such news. IDLENESS. I spake with him as hither I came, And willed him their schooling to refuse. INCONTINENCE. Thry keep him there still by violence, But I know that with us is his heart. WRATH. When they bring Moros unto sapience, Then of my sword I will make a cart. IDLENESS. I suppose that he will not be long hence If by any means he may escape. INCONTINENCE. I dare wage with any man forty pence To make him shortly as wise as an ape. WRATH. That wager with thee durst I lay, To make him so wise, thou art not able; For he is as very a fool, I dare say, And as stark an idiot as ever bare bable. IDLENESS. Yea, but he shall be a more fool yet When all we three be unto him annexed; For the truth is he hath now some wit, But then all his wits shall be perplexed. With me he is very well acquainted, For all his bri,ging up hath been with me, So that any virtue he could never see; Therefore, Pastime he calleth me alway. In plays and games he hath no measure. Incontinency, to him thou must say That thy name is called Pleasure. INCONTINENCE. I am called so with them that be wise; Wrath is wont to be called Manhood. WRATH. In good faith little needeth this device; To be called by our names is as good. Doth he know what Idleness doth mean? Knoweth he Incontinency to be lecher? He discerneth not clean from unclean, His mind is all set on foolery. <1Here enter'th>1 Moros <1looking upon a book and oftentimes look behind him.>1 IDLENESS. See, See! Would you judge him a fool So sadly as he readeth on his book? INCONTINENCE. Belike he cometh now from school; On his lesson earnestly he doth look. WRATH. Have you seen a more foolish face? I must laugh to see how he doth look. IDLENESS. Hold your peace a little space, And hear him read upon his book. [Moros] <1read as fondly as you can drvise. Lauugh all three at his reading.>1 MOROS. Body of God! laugh you me to scorn? I will tell Master Diricke Quintine-- By these ten bones I will, I have sworn-- And he shall teach you to make tile-pin. Take heed of Arse-out-of-fashion; I advise you, come not in his claws. I will tell them by God's Passion How you judge them fools and daws. I would you were with Pine-nut-tree; He would make you a little sadder. You shall go up to the gallow tree And come down without a ladder. WRATH. You are well-learned it doth appear, Can you any Latin to us speak? MOROS. I can Sing <1Custodi nos>1 in the choir, And a verse of course, finely broke. INCONTINENCE. Read you Latin or Greek in your book? What was it, I pray you, let us know? MOROS. Here, you may see if you will look. It was the cuckold's crossrow. IDLENESS. That crossrow let us hear, I pray thee. And a point for thy labor thou shalt have. MOROS. I am but a learner you may see; I can no further than K for a knave. God's santy, Pastime my playfellow, For God's sake keep me from Diricke Quintine. IDLENESS. If my counsel thou wilt follow, I will keep thee from him amd from his doctrine. INCONTINENCE. He speaketh of one Diricke Quintine, Pine-nut-tree and Arse-out-of-fashion; Doth he not mean old Discipline, Piety and Exercitation? IDLENESS. Yes Pardy, but so to speak he cannot. Tell him one thing twenty times, And he will forget it by and by, God wot; Yet can he sing songs and make rhymes. WRATH. What need we to change our names for him, For he discerneth not cheese from chalk? He careth not who doth sink or swim, So that in his owm ways he may walk. MOROS Shall I speak with you, Pastime, in your ear? A word or two I would tell you of my mind. Mast. Pastime this same grim man I do fear, Trow you that he will be my friend? IDLENESS. I warrant thee, all we be thy friends here; We come to rid thee out of thy foe's bands. INCONTINENCE. Fear none of us, but be thou of good cheer. Bid us welcome and take us by the hands. MOROS <1(take them by the hand).>1 Bid us welcome and take us by the hands <1[to>1 Idleness]. Bid us welcome and take us by the hands <1[to>1 Incontinence]. Bid us welcome and take us by the hands <1[to>1 Wrath]. WRATH. Gramercy, Moros, how do you? IDILENESS. You are welcome Master Manhood, say. MOROS. You are welcome Master Robin-hood, say. IDLENESS. You shall cough me a fool, I make God a vow. MOROS. You shall cough me a fool, I make God a vow. INCONTINENCE. I can laugh well at him by this day. MOROS. I can laugh well at him by this day. IDLENESS. Come to me, Moros. What dost thou with this book? Thou canst not read upon it, I am sure. MOROS. Pine-nut-tree took it me thereon to look; There are goodly saints in it, fair and pure. WRATH. Alas, one word to read in it he is not able; More fools than he to give him a book. A fool will delight more in a bable, And more meet for him thereon to look. IDLENESS. Look what a book I have for thee here. <1Have a pair of cardo ready.>1 Cast away that book; it is worse than nought. INCONTINENCE. This book will make thee of a lusty cheer If thou wilt bear it alway in thy thought. MOROS. God's days, it is a goodly book indeed; Santy amen! here are saints a great sort. This book passeth "Christ's cross me Speed." Ha, ha, ha, to he, ha, ha, ha ! here is goodly sport. But let not Diricke Quintine this book see; He did set me a lesson to can. WRATH. None of them all shall meddle with thee; We are come to make thee a man. IDLENESS. Make curtsy and say, "I thank you, Manhood." MOROS. Make curtsy and say, "thank you, Robin-hood." <1Make curtsy backward.>1 Gods, see here is a goodly gentlewoman, Here are specks--some black, some red as blood. Teach me this book, I pray you, perfectly to can. IDLENESS. If I wist that thou wouldst be pretty and wise, I would give thee other things,herewith to play. Seest thou these bones? These are a pair of dice. I will teach thee to occupy them one day. MOROS. You taught me first to play at blow point, At Span-counter, quoting, and mosell-the-peg At skayles, and the playing with a sheep's joint, And to hop a good way on my one leg. How long was I learning of these plays? I am apt enough such good things to take. Do you no more but show me the ways And, if I learn not, let me lose the stake. IDLENESS. Look what I have done for thee beside. Here have I gotten thee company, Whithersoever thou wilt go or ride, To defend thee from all villainy. Lo this gentleman is called Pleasure. He will teach thee to handle a wench; Means I will teach thee to get treasure, For such things we will make a trench. MOROS. Sir, is your name called Play-sure? You are welcome, I thank you heartily. INCONTINENCE. Tush fool, my name is called Pleasure, That is liking and lust bodily. Fools love alway such dalliance, To kiss, to clip, and in bed to play. O, with lusty girls to sing and dance, To have a more pleasant life no man may. MOROS. O I mean what you know now. Master Pastime, hark again in your ear. IDLENESS. Tush, tush, I warrant thee, care not thou. I will provide for all such gear. Lo, this is Manhood to make thee bold; Let there be but a word and a blow. MOROS. I would look big like a man; that I would If my beard would a little more grow. WRATH. Suffer no man with thee to reason, For fools can no wise answer make; Therefore, give a blow alway in season, Pass not thou how they do it take; Like a man ever face out the matter, Stick not blood, heart, and wounds to swear; But suffer no man with thee to clatter, Behold, here I give thee a good sword And a dagger thyself to defend; Draw thy dagger at every word, And say that thy blood thou wilt spend. MOROS. Bold, quoth he! I pray you keep my book, These weapons have set me on a fire. <1Flourish with your sword.>1 How say you? like a man do I not look? To be fighting now is all my desire; No remedy, with one of you I must fight. Fend your heads, you fools, knaves, and daws. IDELNESS. He showeth the nature of a fool right, Which is to chide and fight without a cause. INCONTINENCE. It is a proverb wise and ancient: Beware how you give any edge-tool Unto madmen that be insipient, Unto a young child, and unto a fool. WRATH. He fighteth till he is out of breath. Enough now, Moros it is well done. MOROS. By the mass, I will fight myself to death; I pray you, let not me leave so soon. INCONTINCENCE. Sirrah, who am I? Will you remember? What did Pastime tell you in your ear? MOROS. A pretty morsel, young and tender-- Now would to God I were there. IDLENESS. Thou must wear thy sword by thy side, And thy dagger handsomely at thy back; Before thou fightest thou must use to chide. Mark what I say and learn of me that knack. First, this order with thee we will take: We will teach thee to play at cards and dice, Acquainted with Nell and Nan we will thee make, And to appear a man both mighty and wise. We will desire pleasure to take pain To provide us an handsome hospital Where secretly we may together remain Till we have finished our devices all. INCONTINENCE. Hark, is it best that there we meet At that house such as we use to banquet? MOSOS. Nay, I pray you, let us have one sheet, For I cannot well lie in a blanket. IDLENESS. Tush fool, we speak of banqueting; live mean to eat, drink, and make good cheer, With Meg and Bess to be ruffling Whereas no pleasure shall be too dear. WRATH There are beds, blankets, and sheets good store, And the house of a girl never empty; You shall be sure of one or other eversmore. Sometime you may have your choice of twenty. INCONTINENCE. You mean the thacked house by the waterside Which is whitelimed above in the loof? IDLENESS. Yea, Pardy, there thou shalt for us provide; An house it is for the nonce, if it come to the proof. INCONTINENCE. I go hence. Tarry you not after long, For I will bid mine hostess make haste. MOROS. Before you go, let us have a song; I can retch up to sing sol, fa, and past. IDLENESS. Thou hast songs good store, sing one, And we three the foot will bear. MOROS. Let me study, it will come anon. Pepe la, la, la--it is too high there; So ho, ho--and that is too low; Soll, soll, fa, fa--and that is too flat; Re, re, re--by and by you shall know; Mi, mi, mi--how say you to that? IDLENESS. Care not for the true, but what is thy song; No remedy, thou must first begin. INCONTINENCE. I will be gone if you tarry long When we know how, we shall come in. MOROS. I have a pretty titmouse Come picking on my toe, ALL FOUR. Gossip, with you I purpose To drink before I go. MOROS. Little pretty nightingale Among the branches green, ALL FOUR. Give us of your Christmas ale In the honor of Saint Stephen. MOROS. Robin Redbreast with his notes, Singing aloft in the choir, ALL FOUR. Warneth to get you frieze coats For winter then draweth near. MOROS. My bridle lieth on the sheif; If you will have any more, <1Go out>1 Incontinence. Vouchsafe to sing it yourself, For here you have all my store. WRATH. A song much like th'author of the same; It hangeth together like feathers in the wind. MOROS. This song learned I of my dame, When she taught me mustard seed to grind. God's days, is Play-sure gone away? I would have spoken with him or ever he had gone. I am sorry for that, by this day; He should have borne me a token to Joan. IDLENESS. Thou shalt bear four quarters of a fool. Perdy, Joan will that best regard. MOROS. Shall we go leap over the stool, Or play for the hole about the churchyard? I must be doing of somewhat alway. My weapon once again I must handle. How my dagger will cut now I will assay. Beware how with me thry wandle. Fend your heads. How like you this flourish? Nay, I can fetch him over my head. This fetch among such as be foolish, I may tell you, will stand sometime in stead. WRATH. This fellow fighteth very sore alone. God have mercy on his soul he will kill. This fury will away anon, Namely when he is acquainted with Jill. IDLENESS. Keep thy fighting till Discipline doth come; Then let me see how thou wilt play the mam. MOROS. Body of God, stand away. Make room. I will surely hit him if I can. O that my sword were a mile long, I would kill him then whereas he dwelleth. Methink I am waxen very strong; See, I pray you, how my heart swelleth. <1Here enter'th>1 Discipline. DISCIPLINE. The longer thou livest, the more fool thou art. A fool in childhood, a fool in adolency, In man's state thou wilt play a fool's part. <1Let>1 Moros <1let fall his sword and hide him.>1 And as a fool die with shame and infamy. Beat a fool in a mortar, saith the wise man, And thou shalt not make him leave his folly. I have done all that ever I can, And I see it profiteth not, truly. MOROS. Save me, I pray you, Master Robin-hood. This is Diricke Quintine my master. He will fight as he were wood; For me he hath brought yonder waster. I know Diricke Quintine's intent. He will bring me to Arse-out-of-fashion; There in work and labor I shall be pent, And I had lever die, by God's passion. WRATH. Why whoreson, take thy sword in thy hand, And at the gainest upon him lay. IDLENESS. Go to him like a man, by thee I will stand; Not so--hardy in his head one word say. MOROS. Sirrah, speak you, I pray you, Robin-hood, Take you my sword and drive him hence. WRATH. What, whoreson, I tell thee my name is Manhood. I had lever have spent forty pence. DISCIPLINE. <1Animi vilis timor argumentum est;>1 Fear of a vile mind is an argument. Conscience accuseth the foolish beast That he hath forsaken wholesome document. MOROS. I shall have a beard, I trow, one day. Then Shall I be a man strong and bold; If my beard were grown, to you I may say, I would pay him home, by God, that I would. WRATH. Take thy sword in thine hand and say, "I defy thee, aye old rusty peasant." MOROS Take thy sword in thine hand and say, "I defy thee, aye old thirsty weasant." WRATH. Avoid, trudge, and get thee away, Or by his heart I will cut thy weasant. MOROS. Accloyed grudge but not denay, Or by his cart I will pluck a pheasant. IDLENESS. Why, it is true that of thee he said, "The longer thou livest, the more fool thou art." MOROS. Body of God, of him I am so afraid That at every word I am like to fart. WRATH. The fool as yet is young and nesh, And the fear of Discipline is in his mind; After that he is nuzzled in woman's flesh, The knave he will Play in his kind. IDLENESS. It is even so; a boy is never bold Till he hath companied with an whore, Then doth he pick quarrels, chide and scold; After that he despiseth both rich and poor. Come, Pleasure hath all things provided; Let us no longer tarry here. He will think that we have him derided; Go we, let us see his provision and cheer. MOROS. I will be sure to be gone first. I am out of your hands, Diricke Quintine; hands, Diricke Quintine; Now do thou thy best and thy worst, I defy both thee and all thy doctrine. <1Go out all three.>1 DISCIPLINE. Mark the trade of much youth at this day, See if this fool painteth not out their image; Them they despise that either do or say Anything at all to restrain their dotage. The fool and boy, saith the prophet Esaye, Young fllos do this saying verify. To wise men it is over-evident, When fools are suffer'd in folly And youth maintained in their will, When they come up to man's state wholly, Fools they be and so they continue still. One writeth thus among many things, Never shall you have good men and sapient Where there be no good children and younglings, Which thing is most true in my judgment. Two things destroy youth at this day: <1Indulgentia parentum,>1 the fondness of parents Which will not correct their naughty way, But rather embolden them in their intents; Idleness, alas idleness, is another. Whose passeth through England, To see the youth he would wonder, How idle thry be and how they stand; A Christian man's heart it would pity To behold the evil bringing up of youth. God preserve London, that noble city, Where they have taken a godly order, for a truth; God give them the minds the same to maintain, For in the world is not a better order. If it may be God's favor still to remain, Many good men will be in that border. <1Go out.>1 <1[Enter>1 Fortune.] FORTUNE. No God's mercy? no reverence? no honor? No cap off? no knee bowed? no homage? Who am I? is there no more good manner? I trow, you know not me nor my lineage. I tell you, I rule and govern all; I advance and I pluck down again; Of him that of birth is poor and small, As a noble man I can make to reign; I am she that may do all things. In heaven or earth who is like to me? I make captives of lords and kings, Of captives or fools I make kings to be. No curtsey yet for all this power? I tell you learned men call me a goddess. A beggar I make rich in an hour; To such as I love, I give good success. Who in this world can me withstand? Who can say yea where I say nay? I change all in the turning of a hand; Whatsoever I will, do it I may. Have I done nothing for any here? Have I not one lover nor friend? None to welcome me with a merry cheer? Now by my truth you be unkind. Well, I may chance some to displease, I purpose to dally and play a feat Which shall turn some to small ease; A popish fool will I place in a wiseman's seat. By that you thall learn, I trow, To do your duty to a lady so high; He shall teach you Fortune to know And to honor her till you die. <1[Enter>1 Incontinence.] INCONTINENCE. It is a world to see the fool's greediness. I have nuzzled him in carnality; A man would marvel to see his readiness Unto all fleshly sensuality. And these harlots are not to learn How to dally with a simple fool. They may lead him with a thread of yarn Into the midst of a whirlpool. He prayed me hither to decline And look diligently about. He is afraid of Discipline And of Exercitation no doubt; Neither of them both can I see. I will return and bear him word, A glad man then will Moros be, For them he feareth more than the sword. <1Semble a going out.>1 FORTUNE. Whither now, sirrah? Are you blind? Am I so little a mote that you cannot see? I will pluck down your high mind And cause you, I trow, to know me. INCONTINENCE. I cry you mercy, lady most excellent; Without doubt I did not your honor behold, O Empress, O Goddess omnipotent, I render you praises manifold. FORTUNE. Well, at this time I hold you excused, Glad to see you do your duty so well. If all other had themselves so used, It had been better for them, to you I may tell. I trow your name is Incontinency, One of the properiies of Moros. INCONTINENCE. I see him given to insolency, And I further him in that purpose. Lechery is to fools connatural, Wisemen thereof are ever ware, For they see that such uses bestial Bring men to infamy, shame and care. FORTUNE. How vile soever he be in condition, How foolish soever and insipient, How full of pride soever and ambition, How lecherous soever and incontinent, It is not withstanding our pleasure To exalt him in honor and richesse. We will give him laud, wealth and treasure And in all things therewith good success. He loveth women, I will give him plenty; He loveth gay raiment, meats and drinks fine, Of raiment he shall have shifts twenty, Store of venison, wildfowl, bread and wine. Moros shall lack nothing for a season. They shall see that fortune can exalt fools Who shall nurture men of wit and reason And make them glad to learn their schools. Seeing that the vulgars will me not praise For exalting good men and sapient, I will get me a name another ways, That is, by erecting fools insipient. INCONTINENCE. Pleaseth it you to give me license A few verses of a poet to recite? FORTUNE. I will gladly hear the poet's sentence Whereas against me he doth not write. INCONTINENCE. <1Sed redeo ad stultos, quos quando extollit et alto,>1 <1Collocat in soleo, cupiens fortuna iocari,>1 <1O quod stultitiis tuae omnia plena videbis.>1 I come now to Speak of fools again With whom, when it pleaseth Fortune to play, She extolleth and maketh to reign, Yea, and to them wise men to obey. O then with how many follies shalt thou see Al things filled and replenished, Which to rehearse long it would be, Yet of the poet they be published. Dishonesty mightily triumpheth then; <1Virtusque mouet contempta cachinnum>1 (Virtue is mocked of ever man); Then of whores and harlots there is no small sum. Nothing but eating, drinking, and play, Only voluptuousness foolish and filthy, Increaseth more and more day by day And hath the rule in realm and city. FORTUNE. And as the poet writeth so shall it be; With Moros we will take such an order That all things which for his pleasure he shall see So let him command in every border. You know where Moros we shall find; We command you to lead us to the place, And forasmuch as you occupy his mind, So teach him to know our noble grace; For before that he doth again appear, Another manner of person we will him make; Yea, and we will cause all persons far and near As a worthy gentleman him to take. INCONTINENCE. If it will please your grace to walk, I will bring you whereas Moros is. FORTUNE. Come, wait upon me; by the way we will talk. Thou shalt see wonders after this. <1Go out hoth.>1 <1[Enter>1 Piety.] PIETY. I am come hither now to complain Not only to see this fool thus to miscarry, Which virtuous Discipline both disdain And to honesty is contrary, But also of a great multitude Which despise God and his counsel, As though there were no beatitude, No torments for sin with devils in hell. I can say no more of Piety Than I have said a little before, Which is to serve God's majesty, The same to love, to fear, to honor. But now, alas, what manners, what heavy times, Piety is utterly extinguished. What contempt is there, what crimes, More mischief than can be published; And as God's majesty is despised, So the love among men doth abate. Never was there greater hatred devised Than is among men of ever estate; What falsehood, what deceit, and guile? What subtilties are of men invented? Who doth not hia body with sin defile? Who is with his own state contented? I have read of many worlds and seasons; Of so sinful a world did I never read. About mischief men occupy their reasons, None other thing nowadays is in their head; Yet God hath some good people, I dare say, Which pray devoutly, fast and abstain And call upon him night and day The wickedness of our times to restrain. And I doubt not for his own name sake, He will subvert the works of sin Which he grant shortly to slake, And that virtue the victor may win. <1[Enter>1 Wrath.] WRATH. Ha, ha, ha! I must laugh to see Fortune's dalliance. Lord, how she hath this fool enhanced. The sport is to see his countenance; This wealth hath to him strangely chanced. But they say that fools are fortunable; It appeareth to be the true now indeed. Fortune hath made a fool honorable, And like more in honor to proceed; Now am I sent officers to seek, Impiety, Cruelty, and Ignorance. I must trudge about all this week, Not a little unto my hindrance. PIETY Such a master, such servants indeed! O what a plague is it evermore When virtuous men have evil speed, And fools have ease, wealth and honor! Have we not had manifest probation? Have not men of God been put to silence? And such fools in whom was no good disputation, But altogether with cruelty gave they sentence? WRATH. Thou art one of them for whom I seek, Not for thy honor but for thy decay. I have commandment to chop thee as a leek If thou wilt not get thee away. Wherefore be ruled by my counsel, Come no more into Moros' company, For both with shame he will expel And put thee also to villainy. PIETY. Better it is to meet a she-bear When she is robbed of her whelps Than with a fool that rule doth bear, For nother reason nor learning will be his helps. WRATH. No moe words, but get thee away at once. I am Wrath, soon kindled and set on fire. Speak one word and I will break thy bones, And tread thee down here in the mire. <1[Go out>1 Piety.? Yea, I advise thee, lo what Wrath can do. To Wrath place to give he is glad; To fools many are glad to lean to For fear of their rage when they are mad. Yonder cometh one ihat I seek for; I am deceived if it be not the same. As he were blind, about he doth pore, Ignorance I Suppose is his name. <1[Enter>1 Ignorance.] IGNORANCE. Is there anybody here in this place? I am sent for in all the haste I ween; I am commanded to come away apace. They will marvel where so long I have been. WRATH. Whither should you go, I pray you, friend? And who is it that for you did send? IGNORANCE. Lady Fortune did tell me her mind, And to speak with Moros I do intend. WRATH. To tarr here if you will take the pain, Moros will come hither anon. Where Impiety is I would know fain, And where I should speak with him alone. IGNORANCE. Crudelity, Impiety and I Were coming all three together. I think verily that they are passed by And gone even the right way thither. WRATH. What are their names when they come there? What do you call Impiety? IGNORANCE. Philosophy his name is everywhere, Crudelity Prudence, and I Antiquity. WRATH. Very well I am glad of this indeed, By reason hereof my journey is at an end. I purpose no further to proceed; To return again I do intend. I will cause Moros to make haste; Antiquity tarrieth for you, I will say. IGNORANCE. Yea, and though the time be somewhat past, Tell him that i did not well know the way. <1Go out>1 Wrath. Ignorance, yea Ignorance is my name, A meet mate with fools to dwell, A quality of an ancient fame; And yet drown I many one in hell. The papists which the truth do know, Lord, how I have nuzzled them in my science; I have so taught them that howsoever the wind blow, They shall still incline to my sentence, So that though thry have knowledge and cunning, They are but ignorant and fools. After every heresy and popery they are running, And delight dally to learn at new schools. Also many that do themselves abuse, Some in that iniquity and some in this, By ignorance thry do themselves excuse, As though they know not that they did amiss When their conscience bear them record That their acts are wicked and evil; Therefore, when they shall come before the Lord, He shall condemn them with Satan the devil. Moros <1enter gaily dismised and with a foolish beard [with him>1 Cruelty <1and>1 Impiety]. MOROS. Ah Sir, my beard is well grown. I thought that I should be a man once, Yea, a gentleman, and so will I be known, A man of honor both body and bones. How say you, my counselors, tell me, Have I not a gentleman's countenance? IMPIETY. A better face truly I did never see, Nor a better leg in my remembrance. CRUELTY. If you had not been comely and wise, Fortune would not have so favored you. You must appear to be strange and nice; That will cause men humbly to bow. IGNORANCE. God's dainty, is this Master Moros? A proper gentleman, by Saint Ann ! To dwell with your Maship I purpose And to do you the best service that I can. IMPIETY. This is another of your counsel, Whose name is called Antiquity. His words are truer than the Gospel, A person full of truth and fidelity. MOROS. You are welcome, gentle Sanguinity. Ah sir? Is Sanguinity your name? CRUELTY. He is called ancient Antiquity, A person of good stock and great fame. MOROS. Welcome again then, gentle Tandidity And you are welcome, all three indeed-- Pild-lousy boy, Fip-pence and Tandidity. How do you, welcome all, good speed. IMPIETY. Forsooth, I'm called Philosophy. Prudence is this man's name, doubtless) Antiquity he is called, verily, As hereafter we shall more plainly express. MOROS. Pild-lousy Boy, Fip-pence, and Tandidity, You are welcome. You come to wait on me? IGNORANCE. Yea, and to serve you with all humility And to fillfill your requests ready to be. IMPIETY. Fortune appointed me to be governor, Of your own person you to direct, And to convince ever vain troubler Which shall presume your mind to infect. CRUELTY. And me she appointed them to correct Which should do ought against your mind, Yea, and your profits and rents to collect And to seek,arrowly where we may them find. IGNORANCE. I am ordained alway to give you warning Of exercitation in any science, Less you hurt your wits with learning, And dull your understanding and science. MOROS. Shall I tell you there was one Pine-nut-tree Who a while had me in his handling; He was up with God and holy divinity, But I was soon weary of his wandling. And that cursed whoreson Diricke Quintine Would beat me shrewdly, by God's passion; He went about me to famish and pine Through one Arse-out-of-fashion. I shall desire you, Pild-lousy Boy, And you, Fip-pence and Tandidity, Them to banish and utterly destroy, For I fear their crudelity. IMPIETY. Fear? and you a man of nobility? Remember that you are come to manhood. CRUELTY. Hath not Fortune set you in authority? With your own hand let their heart blood. MOROS. Body of God! give me my sword. Heart, wounds! I will kill them by and by. Arms and sides! I have spoken the word. His blood and bones! they shall die. Am I in authority do you say? May I hang, burn, head and kill? Let them be sure I will do what I may; I will be known in authority, that I will. IMPIETY. Piety, Discipline, and Exercitation-- Mean you not them, I pray you? MOROS. They indeed havc put me to tribulation, But I trow I will trouble them again now. Body of God ! am I in authority? I will burn them, hang them, and boil them. As many as once profess piety, If I may know it, I will turmoil them. IMPIETY. Of God indeed many of them talk, And of the soul, and of heaven and hell; But from you as fools let them walk, They speak of a thing whereof they cannot tell. I am named Philosophy, The knowledge of all things I do contain. In me is astronomy and astrology;, The truth of all things in me do remain. I can teach you heaven to know, Which they call a spherical figure More perfect than any other high or low, Eternal forsooth in his own nature; Also how that the world was made; In the midst of the said heaven, How five suns divide it in their trade; Of the cycles and episycles seven; Of moving and quiet I can teach;, Of matter and form I can tell goodly gear. Such as go up into pulpits and preach, Especially these new fellows, to them give no ear; Nay then, whereas you have authority, Suffer them not in any wise to dwell. Be bold to punish them with austerity, For it is but all heresy that they do tell. Goodly doctrines I can teach you of nature, And how it bringeth forth nothing perfectly Without art; this is a doctrine sure; Also how the same worketh secretly. Now such as of God to you will talk Of heaven, hell, or of the soul, From your presence bid them walk, Yea, though ihey allege Christ and Paul; Concerning those things I am appointed To bring you into the verity. Endeavor yourself to be acquainted With your noble counselor Antiquity; From time to time evermore still He shall in your company remain. Prudence shall get in, poll and pill, Forevermore seek for your gain. MOROS. You are a cunning person, I see that; Would to God you had a better name-- Pild-lousy Boy, fie, that is top flat. And to call you Fip-pence, it is a shame. IGNORANCE. His name, I tell you, is Philosophy, In whom is contained all science; Antiquity is my name, verily, And this person is called Prudence. MOROS. God's blessing on your hearts all; I shall remember your names, I trow. My servants by their names I will call If my beard a little longer would grow. IMPIETY. I doubt not but as you grow in age, So you will increase in sapience; You Shall never want a witty page To sharpen your intelligence. IGNORANCE. With all your affairs let us alone, Live you your mind to pleasure, Eat, drink, dally and play with joan; We will maintain your state with treasure. Some will move you to read Scripture; Some would have you seen in stories; Some to feats of arms will you allure; All these are but plain vain glories. Marry, I would have you seen in cards and dice, As you shall be, I trow, within a while. We trust to make you in them so wise That none shall be able you to beguile. CRUELTY. You must set yourself forth with the best; You must learn to have a diverse countenance, Frowning when a thing you shall detest, Pleasant when ought is for your furtherance. So, lo, that is well when you are angry, Meetly well too when you are pleased. A smiling countenance you must carry When your conceit is in all things eased. IMPIETY. By my troth, wot you like whom he doth look? He is as like a cousin of mine as ever I did see. CRUELTY. That he is like him in face yo, may swear on a book, And also his conditions with his do well agree; As touching all godliness a fool he was, But in filthy demeanor who was worse? Out of doubt in sin he did so excel and pass That the whole country for him God did curse. IGNORANCE. Leave I pray you, sirs! what needeth this clatter? You talk, sir, methink, you wot not what. I pray you, go forward with our matter; If you know any ways for our master's profit, speak that. CRUELTY. To provide things to come by policy, I will work under such a pretense That all things shall appear honestly; And for that cause am I named Prudence. Again in providing your necessaries, I will in such a sort canvas the law That such as be your adversaries Shall be brought to Coram and awe. MOROS. O who hath such servants as I have, So learned, so wise, in hall and in school? Among them all there is not one knave, So that it skilleth not though I be a fool. Would to God I had my servants together-- Pastime, Pleasure, and Robin-hood. I pray you, take pain to call them hither; To have them walt on me, it should do me good. PIETY. You know the names of all your servants. It may please you them here to recite. We must also know the names of your tenants That in your books of accounts we may them write. MOROS. Pild-lousy Boy, you are the best; None of them better than you, none so good. Fip-pence and Tandidity be next, Pastime, Pleasure, and Robin-hood. Here be six honest persons indeed; By Saint Malkin, it is an honest train. You shall have all one livery and weed, For you all intend my Profit and gain. CRUELTY. To the draper I will go and buy cloth And array all your servants in a livery. To wait on you otherwise I would be loath; That will be gentlemanlike,verily. IMPIETY. The great affairs I do consider That Prudence in other things must have; It is best, therefore, that we go together, So shall we be sure money to save. And here we leave ancient Antiquity, A person that no bad counsel will give; He is prudent and full of sagacity; His counsel see that you do believe. MOROS. I have servants that finely can sing; Let me hear, I pray you, what you can do. Singing and playing I love above all thing; Let me hear you, I pray you, go to. IGNORANCE. I am old and my voice is rusty, Yet I will sing to do you pleasure. MOROS. We will have drink if you be thirsty, For I love to drink without measure. IGNORANCE. You must begin for I can no skill, Yet I will jumble on as well as I can. CRUELTY. We are indifferent, sing what ye will; We were brought up with a singing man. <1Sing some merry song.>1 IMPIETY We take our leave of you for this season; In time we shall walt on you again. CRUELTY. To have a time it standeth with reason, An order to set among your vain. MOROS. In my house you will appoint me others Such as shall bring in to make frolic cheer; But those that of Discipline and Piety are followers, I would have rooted out both far and near. Fare ye well. As soon as you can return, IMPIETY. He that speaketh one word against you, we will burn, Hang or head him like a rebel. <1Go out both.>1 MOROS. Yea marry, sir, this doth me good at the heart. Fare ye well, worthy to serve a gentleman. IGNORANCE. I tell you they were not brought up at the cart. Full worshipfully their curtsey they can. Now sir, tell me how feel you your stomach? Are you disposed to play, eat, or drink? Tell me if there be anything that you lack? Devise what ye will, and in mind do ye think, You shall have it whatsoever it doth cost. We will neither pass of wind nor weather. MOROS. By my troth, the thing that I desire most Is in my cap to have a goodly feather. IGNORANCE. A feather? a matter of great importance. You shall have a feather if it cost a pound. Look up lustily use a genileman's countenance, And a feather, I trow, for you shall be found. MOROS. A feather would make me look aloft. Have you one? what, a red one? Now I thank you, it is goodly stuffed. This will make me a gentleman alone. Make it fast, I pray you, in my cap, Now, by my honor, I thank you heartily, This will bear away, good cap. As good as a sallet for me verily, I look upward now alway still. God's days! my feather I cannot see. Of this feather I can still. <1Look upward to see the feather. Stumble and fall.>1 Beshrew thy heart, I have hurt my knee. IGNORANCE. Like the philosopher that looked so high So long that he fell into the mire. Also another that gazed so into the sky, Till he fell grovelinges in the fire. For a gentleman to look high it is meet, But in all things there is a mean; It becometh you take heed to your feet Less you make your garments foul and unclean. MOROS. A vengeance take this foolish feather. While it is there, I cannot look down. IGNORANCE. Fie, fie, you should have said so rather. Look here, how unseemly you wear your gear. See, See, it hangeth all on the one side. And your sword is between your legs. Wise men will you mock and deride, And not set by you a couple of eggs; Let me help you to set your gown right. On this fashion your sword you must wear. Alack, alack, if I had a good sight, I would trim you in your gear. MOROS. Must I not look over my shoulder some time? I have seen some that thus would jet. IGNORANCE. To be equal with the best do you cline. Remember still that in honor you are set. <1Here enter'th>1 Discipline. DISCIPLINE. The longer thou livest, the more fool thou art, Every day more fool than other. Thou wilt play such a foolish part As shall shame country, father and mother.-- Good audlence, note this fool's proceedlng. In tender age, in Idleness he was nuzzled. In adolency, when pubes was springing, Touching virtue as a dog that is muzzled, Ill-willing to learn and therefore unapt, All his senses he applied to vice; Anon with such companions he was wrapt, As no young man will be that is wise. Never could I bring him to piety, That is God to serve,to love, to fear; Neither to do ought for his own utility, Neither reverence in his heart to bear, But as fools all are unpatient, So was he given to hastiness and ire. In lecher as fools be all incontinent, Through Idleness he was set on fire. When to man's state once he attained, Worldly Fortune did him in wealth erect; God and good counsel he disdained, Being then with all misery infect. Now is he come unto plain Impiety Which persuadeth him God to deny; And with him is joined Crudelity Against the innocents to reply. Behold here he is led with Ignorance So that he will not believe the verity. Beside these he hath other maintenance To uphold him in his iniquity. Of such the prophet did prophesy, The fool saith in his heart there is no God. Corrupt are thry and full of villainy; Therefore, shall thry be beat with an iron rod. MOROS. Can you tell of whom this tale they have told? I am a man; he knoweth me not now. IGNORANCE. Tush, face him out. Fear not, be bold, For all this talk he hath of you. MOROS. Sirrah, shall I draw my sword or dagger? Is it not best to kill him out of hand? IGNORANCE. Tush, you are but a craking bragger; I would see you boldly him to withstand. MOROS. Would to God ihat Pild-lousy Boy were here. Good Lord, what meaneth my man Robin-hood? IGNORANCE. Are you afraid? For very shame, draw near. I would let out some of his saucy blood. MOROS. Good man, you, know you who I am? My beard is grown, I am a man now. You shall repent that hither you came; I will kill you, I make God a vow. A vengeance on it, my dagger will not out. Sir, 1 pray you, how my hand doth quake. Rail on me, you beggarly lout? You and I a fray will make. Am I not a gentleman, knave? Body of God, will you presume? Truly, Tandidity, no power I have So great is my anger and fume. DISCIPLINE. A fool uttereth his anger in haste, And hath not the wit measure to keep; Where much anger is, strength is past, And wisdom is drowned in folly deep. My fair legs to a cripple are unseemly, So to a fool honor is undecent; As snow in harvest is untimely, So is it a plague where a fool is regent. What should a fool do with money or treasure, Seeing that sapience he cannot buy? In voluptuousness he walloweth wiihout measure, As a beastly swine doth in his filthy sty. MOROS. Body of God, for anger I am like to die. Where is Robin-hood and Pild-lousy Boy? Callest thou me fool ? I utterly thee defy; Thee and all thine. this sword shall utterly destroy. Pluck out my sword, good Tandidity; Passion of God kill him downright. IGNORANCE. He should not long live in tranquillity If 1 had my perfect senses and sight; But be you ruled by my counsel, For this time let us depart and give place. We shall send them hither that shall him compel To hold his peace, yea, spite of his face. MOROS. Content, content. We will go hence indeed.-- We will send to you ere it be long.-- Alas, where be my servants in time of need? This tough whoreson for me is too strong. <1Go out both.>1 DISCIPLINE. As scripture calleth this the highest sapience God to know, to fear, to love, and obey, And the most pure and high intelligence Is to follow his precepts night and day; So God to contemn, to despise, to hate Is such a folly as none is more extreme. This is the most miserable state, Yea, no state at all as wise men do esteem. When a fool is compassed with impiety, Which is the contempt of God and his ordinances, And such a fool erected to authority, The people must needs sustain many grievances, For there God cannot be duly honored, His holy sacraments had in estimation, Neither the public weal rightly governed, But all cometh to utter dissipation. If we should say all that might be said Of fools in their extreme folly, How God's people by them have decayed, Two days would not serve, I think, truly. <1Go out.>1 <1Here enter'th>1 People. PEOPLE. <1Intollerabilius nil est quom dives avarus,>1 <1Quam stultus locuples, quam Fortunatus iniquus.>1 There is nothing more intolerable Than a rich man that is covetous, A fool wealthy, a wicked man fortunable, A judge partial, an old man lecherous. Good Lord, how are we now molested. The devil hath sent one into our country, A monster whom God and man hath detested, A fool that came up from a low degree. My name is People, for I represent All the people where Moros doth dwell, Such a person as is with nothing content So that we think him to be a devil of hell. Neither learning, wisdom nor reason Will serve where he taketh opinion; His words and acts be all out of season. By honest men he setteth not an onion And, as he is, such is his family; Not one honest person among them I do know, Ruffians, villains, swearers full of blasphemy, Despisers of all honest men, both high and low. A whole alphabet of his officers I can recite though it be not in order, A rabble of roisterly rufflers Which trouble all honest men in our borders. As for Impiety, Cruelty, and Ignorance, Are chief of his council, verily; Idleness, Wrath, and lecherous dalliance Are they which in youth kept him company. Sir Anthony Arrogant, auditor, Bartolmew Briber ballie, Clement Catchpole, cofferer, Division Double-faced Davy, Edmund Envious chief of the ewery, Fabian Falsehood, his head farmer, Gregory Gorbelly, the gouty, Governeth the grain in the garner, Hans Hazarder the horsekeeper is, James the just is the chief judge, Leonard Lecherous is man of law, Iwis, Kenolm the knave is in cookery no drudge, Martin the murderer, master of music, Nicol Never-thrift, the notary, Owen Overwhart, master in physic, Quintine the quaffer, for nothing nesessary, Rafe Ruffian, the rude railer, Steven Sturdy, master surveyor, Thomas the thief, his chief tailor, William Witless, the great warrior, With these and such like many moe, We in his circuit be oppressed; For remedy we wot not whither to go To have our calamity redressed. Unto God only we refer our cause; Himbly we commit all to his judgment, We have offended him and his holy laws; Therefore, are we worthy of this punishment. <1Go out.>1 <1Enter>1 [Moros]<1furiously with grey beard.>1 MOROS. Where is he? Blood, sides, heart and wounds! A man I am now, ever inch of me. I shall teach the knave to keep his bounds; What his prattling will profit I will see. With me to come I would not suffer one: Yet servants I have and that plenty. I myself, I trow, am good enough alone, Yea, by the mass, if there were twenty. Make no more ado but fend thy head. Have at thee. Thou shalt know that I am a man. <1Fight alone.>1 I will make thee that thou shalt eat no more bread, Rail no more at Master Moros then. What there? Either I have him slain Or else from my sight he is fled. He is never like to trouble me again; I warrant him, I have brought him in bed. <1Enter>1 [God's Judgment] <1with a terrible visure.>1 GOD'S JUDGMENT. The longer thou livest, the more fool thou art. This to the, hath been often recited; For so much as thou hast play'd such a fool's part, As a fool thou shalt be justly requited. I represent God's severe judgment, Which dallieth not where to strike he doth purpose. Hither am I sent to the punishment Of this impious fool, here called Moros Who hath Said there is no God in his heart. His holy laws he has stoutly blasphemed, Godly Discipline could never his mood convert, Virtue nor honesty are not of him esteemed. MOROS. A pestilence take them, whoreson knaves! They are ever absent when I have need. Whoresons bring your clubs, bills, bows and staves. I see that it is time now to take heed. GOD's JUDGMENT. According unto his most wicked belief, So with his neighbors wickedly he dealeth; From the poor he doth take and nothing doth give, He oppresseth, bribeth, defraudeth, and stealeth. If he believed God good works to reward And devil's wickedness to punish in fire, His promises and threats he would more regard, Do penance and for mercy desire; But such fools in their hearts do say That there is no God, neither heaven nor hell. According to their saying they follow that way Like as a little before I did tell. For as much as vengeance to God doth belong And he will the same recompense, That he is a God of power, mighty and strong, The fools shall know by experience. With this sword of vengeance I strike thee. <1Stike>1 Moros <1and let him fall down.>1 Thy wicked household shall be dispersed, Thy children shall be rooted out to the fourth degree Like as the mouth of God hath rehearsed. MOROS. Either I have the falling sickness, Or else with the palsy I am stricken. I feel in myself no manner of quickness; I begin now strangely to sicken. GOD'S JUDGMENT. If thou hast grace for mercy now call, Yet thy soul perchance thou mayst save; For his mercy is above his works all, On penitent sinners he is wont mercy to have. MOROS. It was but a qualm came over my heart; I lack nothing but a but of good wine. GOD's JUDGMENT. Indurate wretches can not convert But die in their filthiness like swine. <1Enter>1 Confusion <1with an illfavored visure and all things beside>1 <1illfavored.>1 Behold, here cometh thame and confusion, The reward of such wicked fools all. Ts all the world shall appear thy abusion, Thy wickedness, and false belief to great and small. MOROS. Here is an ill-favored knave, by the mass. Get thee hence, thief, with a wanion. GOD's JUDGMENT. This is the reward of such a foolish ass; Forevermore he shall be thy companion. CONFUSSON. The wise shall have honor in possession, Thus the wise King Solomon doth say, But the portion of fools is condition Which abideth with them forever and aye. GOD's JUDGMENT. Confusion spoil him of his array; Give him his fool's coat for him due; His chain and his staff take thou away; In sorrow and care forever let him rue. MOROS. Am I asleep, in a dream, or in a trance? Ever methink that I should be waking. Body of God! this is a wonderfull chance; I cannot stand on my feet for quaking. <1[Fall down.]>1 CONFUSION. As the ears of an ass appeared in Midas, Though it were long ere it were known, So at length evermore it cometh to pais That the folly of fools is openly blown; And then in this world they have condition, That is reproof, derision, and open shame; And when they have ended all their abusion, They leave behind them an abominable name. Come, foolish Moros, come go with me, And I shall bring thee to a shameful end. Thy malice will not let thee thy folly to see So that thou hast not the grace thy life to amend. MOROS. <1Sancti>1, Amen. Where is my goodly gear? I see well that I was asleep indeed. What, am I fain a fool's coat to wear? We must learn at "Christ's cross me speed." Other I was a gentleman and had servants, Or else I dreamed that I was a gentleman. CONFUSiON. But thou art now a peasant of all peasants, A derision and mock to man and woman. Come forth of thy folly to receive thy hire, Confusion, poverty, sickness and punishment; And after this life, eternal fire Due for fools that be impenitent. MOROS. Go with thee, ill-favored knave? I had lever thou wert hanged by the neck. If it please the devil me to have Let him carry me away on his back. CONFUSION. I will carry thee to the devil indeed; The world shall be well rid of a fool. MOROS. A due to the devil? God send us good speed. Another while with the devil I must go to school. <1[Exit>1 Moros <1on>1 Confusion's <1back.]>1 GOD'S JUDGMENT. For sin, though God suffer'th impiety Greatly to the dishonor of his name, Yet at length he throweth down iniquity And putteth the authors thereof to shame. So confounded he tyrants in times past Whom holy scripture fools doth call; For as beasts here their times they did waste, And from one wickedness to another did fall. What shall we need their names to recite, Seeing that ever man hath of them heard? In our times we have known fools full of spite, And in this world have seen their reward. We do not only them fools call here Which have not the perfect use of reason, Innocents whereof be many far and near In whom discretion is geason, But those are the greatest fools properly Which disdain to learn sapience To speak, to do, to work all things orderly And as God hath given intelligenc; But contrary to nature and God's will They stop their eyes through wilful ignorance, They seek to slay, to prison, to poll, to pill Only for their own furtherance. Of all fools indeed this is the worst kind, Whereof this time we have treated, Which to all mischief giveth his mind And refuseth to be instructed. Many things moe of fools we could talk, But we have detained long our audience; Another way I am compelled to walk, Desiring you awhile to have patience. <1Enter all iii [,>1 Discipline, Piety, <1and>1 Exercitation]. EXERCITATION. Although this fool of whom we have spoken Hath refused all honest exercise, Yet the hearts of wise men God doth open, Virtuous occupation not to despise; For undoubtedly it is as hard as they say To get the scepter out of the hand of Hercules, As for one to be well-occupied night or day That is nuzzled in unhappy idleness. For as Theophylactus doth write, Idleness hath taught all iniquity; And as Ezekiel also doth recite, Idleness taught the Sodomites impiety. Never will I believe that man good to be, Whether he be of the clergy or lay, Whom idle and not well-occupied I see, Which do nothing but eat, drink, and play. PIETY. We desire no man here to be offended In that we use this term "piety" Which is desplsed and vilely pended Of sinners and authors of iniquity; For the heathen philosophers and orators Used the same term and in the same sense As learned Christians, true worshippers Created of piety with his Science. Plato, Aristotle, Valerius, and Tully Wrote of piety, and diverse other, And called it an honor due to God only, And a natural duty to father and mother. Saint Augustine in his book of God's city, And in other noble works that he did make, Treateth holily of this term piety;, And as he doth take it so do we take it: <1Ipsa est illa sapientia quae Pietos vocator,>1 <1Qua colitur pater luminum:>1 A <1quo est omne datum optimum.>1 That is, the highest sapience notified, Which is called piety indeed, Whereby the Father of light is worshipped From whom every good gift doth proceed. DISCIPLINE. Touching my person called Discipline, In the process I have said sufficient; Yet to end with some honest doctrine, You shall hear a learned man's judgment. There be many disciplines as authors do say; Among all, there be two principal, That be <1Scire>1 and <1Sapere>1 alway, To have cunning and wisdom withal. EXERSIATION. <1Ut furiosus habens gladium, sic doctus iniquus.>1 Without fail this is a notable verse; I would all men could it well by rote. The sentence thereof Solomon doth rehearse, I wish all the audience it to note. A wicked man having learning and cunning And doth many sciences understand Is like one whose wits are running, I mean a mad man having a sword in his hand. PIETY. For as a mad man having in his hand edge-tool Seeketh both himself and other to kill, So a cunning man without wisdom is but a fool, For both himself and many other he doth spill. Wherefore whosoever hath intelligence Let him humbly desire of God evermore That he will also give him sapience To bestow his cunning to his honor. DISCIPLINE. This is the sum of the whole intent, To induce youth to these two aforesaid, <1Scire>1 and <1Sapere,>1 you know what is meant. Then many things amiss thall be well-stayed. EXERCITATION. To learn many things and many things to know, Then to have wisdom the same to direct, These be two disciplines, meet for high and low, Which to all virtues do the mind erect. PIETY. For this time we have said sufficient; With <1Scire>1 and <1Sapere>1 we make an end, Beseeching our Lord God omnipotent That among us his grace he may send. DICSIPLINE. And here we make an end, trusting that all you present Will bear us record that no estate we defame; To praise the good order now set is our intent, And to further the glory of God's holy name. EXERCITATION. God save the Queen's Highness and the nobility, Defend her long we beseech thee, Lord; Which is the patroness of all humility, A setter-forth of truth, and lover of concord. PIETY. God preserve the Queen's most honorable Council, With all the Mageesratres of this region, That thry may agree to maintain God's Gospel Which is the most true and sincere religion. To root out Anti-Christ, I pray God, they may take pain; Then will the Lord send them honor and fame And, after this life, give them the reward of the same. DICIPLINE. Pray we for the clergy and whole spirituality, That they may teach and set forth God's truth alway; I beseech you, let us pray for the whole commonality, That upon us all God mercy take may, So that each one of us in the right way may stay. All glory honor, empery, majesty, and dignity Be given both now and evermore to the blessed Trinity. FINIS