NOTE: This text begins on page 992 of Medieval Drama, ed. Bevington, was submitted by Prof. Ian Lancashire, April/87. Scanning Notes: e$ was used to represent e acute. <1 >1 denotes font #1, italics <3 >3 denotes font #3, Bold -------****------- <3The Play of the Weather3> A New and a Very Mery Enterlude of all Maner Wethers <1Made by John Heywood>1 THE PLAYERS NAMES JUPITER, a god THE WATER MILLER MERY-REPORTE, the Vice THE WINDE MILLER THE GENTILMAN THE GENTILWOMAN THE MARCHAUNT THE LAUNDER THE RANGER A Boy, the lest that can play [Jupiter is enthroned in a scaffold or curtained pew by means of which he can retire from the audience's view.] JUPITER. Right farre to[o] longe, as now, were to recite The auncient estate wherin ourselfe hath rei[g]ned-- What honour, what laude given us of very right, What glory we have had dewly unfai[g]ned Of eche creature, which dewty hath constrained. For above all goddes, sins[e] our fathers fale, We, jupiter, were ever principale. If we so have ben--as treuth it is indede-- Beyond the compas of all comparison, Who coulde presume to shew, for any mede, So that it might appere to humayne reason, The hye renowme we stande in at this season? For, sins[e] that heven and erth were firste create, Stode we never in suche triumphaunt estate As we now do. Wherof we woll reporte Suche parte as we se mete for time present, |p Chiefely concerninge your perpetuall conforte, as the thinge selfe shall prove in experiment; Whiche hyely shall binde you, on knees lowly bent, Soolly to honour oure hyenes, day by day. And now to the mater give eare, and we shall say: Before our presens, in our hye parliament, Both goddes and goddes[s]es of all degrees Hath late assembled, by comen assent, For the redres of certaine enormitees Bred amonge them thorow extremitees Abusyd in eche to other of them all; Namely, to purpose, in these moste speciall: Our foresaid father Saturne, and phebus, Eolus, and phebe, these four by name-- Whose natures not onely so farre contrarious, But also of malice eche other to defame Have longe time abused, right farre out of frame, The dew course of all their constellacions To the great damage of all Yerthly nacions. Whiche was debated in place saide before. And firste--as became--our father, moste auncient, With berde white as snow, his lockes both cold and hore, Hath ent'red such mater as served his entent, Laudinge his frosty mansion in the firmament To aire and yerth as thinge moste precious, Pourginge all humours that are contagious. Howbeit, he alledgeth that of longe time past Littell hath prevailed his great diligens. Full oft uppon yer All thinges hurtfull to banish out of presens-- But Phebus, entendinge to kepe him in silens, |p When he hath labored all night in his pow'res, His glaringe beamys mar[r]ith all in two howres. Phebus to this made no maner answeringe. Wheruppon they both then Phebe defied. Eche for his parte leyd in her reprovinge That, by her show'res superfluous, they have tried In all that she may, their pow'res be denied. Wherunto Phebe made answere no more Then Phebus to Saturne hadde made before. Anone uppon Eolus all these did fle, Complaininge their causes, eche one a-row, And said, to compare none was so evill as he; For, when he is disposed his blastes to blow, He suffereth neither sone-shine, raine, nor snow. They eche againste other, and he againste all thre-- Thus can these four in no maner agre. Whiche sene in themseffe, and further consideringe, The same to redres was cause of their assemble. And also that we, evermore beinge, Beside our puis[s]aunt power of deit$e, Of wisedome and nature so noble and so fre-- From all extrernitees the meane devidinge, To pease and plent$e eche thinge attemperinge-- They have, in conclusion, [w]holly surrend'ryd Into our handes--as mych as concerninge All maner wethers by them engend'ryd-- The full of their pow'rs for terme everlastinge, To set suche order as standith with our pleasinge. Whiche thinge, as of our parte no parte required, But of all their partys right humbly desired |p To take uppon us, wherto we did assente. And so in all thinges with one voice agreable, We have clerely finished our foresaid parleament, To your great welth--whiche shall be firme and stable-- And to our honour farre inestimable. For sins[e] their powers, as ours, addyd to our owne, Who can, we say, know us as we shulde be knowne? But now, for fine, the reste of our entent Wherfbre, as now, we hither are discendyd, Is onely to satisfye and content All maner people whiche have ben offendyd By any wether mete to be amendyd;, Uppon whose complaintes, declaringe their grefe, We shall shape rernedy for their relefe. And to give knowledge for their hither resorte, We wolde this afore proclaimed to be To all our people, by some one of this sorte, Whom we liste to choise here amongest all ye. Wherfore eche man avaunce, and we shall se Whiche of you is moste mete to be our crier. <1Here ent'reth Mery-Reporte [from among the audience].>1 MERY-REPORT. Brother, holde up your torche a litell hyer! Now, I beseche you, my lorde, loke on me furste. I truste your lordship shall not finde me the wurste. JUPITER. Why, what arte thou that approchist so ny? MERY-REPORT. Forsothe, and please your lordshippe, it is I. JUPITER. All that we knowe very well. But what "I"? MERY-REPORT. What "I"? Some saye I am I <1per se>1 I. But, what maner "I" soever be I, I assure your good lordship, I am I. JUPITER. What maner man arte thou? Shewe quickely. MERY-REPORT. By God, a poore gentilman, dwellith here by. JUPITER. A gentilman? Thyselfe bringeth witnes naye, Bothe in thy light behavour and araye. |p But what arte thou called where thou dost resorte? MERY-REPORT. Forsoth, my orde, mayster Mery-Reporte. JUPITER. Thou arte no mete man in our bisines, for thine apparence is of to[o] mych lightnes. MERY-REPORT. Why, cannot your lordship like my maner, Mine apparell, nor my name nother? JUPITER. To nother of all we have devocion. MERY-REPORT. A proper licklihod of promocion! Well, than, as wise as ye seme to be, Yet can ye se no wisdome in me. But sins[e] ye dispraise me for so lighte an elfe, I praye you give me leve to praise myselfe. And, for the firste parte, I will begin In my behavour at my comminge in: Wherin I thinke I have litell offendyd, for, sewer, my curtesy coulde not be amendyd! And, as for my sewt your servaunt to be, Mighte ill have bene mis[s]'t, for your honest$e; For, as I be saved, if I shall not lie, I sayv no man sew for the office but I! Wherfore, if ye take me not or I go, Ye must anone, wvhether ye will or no. And sins[e] your entent is but for the wethers, What skils our apparell to be fri[e]se or fethers? I thinke it wisdome, sins[e] no man forbad[e] it, With this to spare a better--if I had it! And, for my name: reporting alwaye trewly, What hurte to reporte a sad mater mer[r]ely? As, by occasion, for the same entent:. To a serteyne wedow this daye was I sent Whose husbande departyd without her wittinge-- A speciall good lover, and she his owne swettinge. To whome, at my comming, I caste such a figure, |p Minglinge the mater accordinge to my nature, That when we departyd, above all other thinges She thanked me hartely for my mery tidinges! And if I had not handled it merily, Perchaunce she might have take[n] it hevely,; But in suche fac[h]ion I conjured and bounde her That I left her merier then I founde her. What man may compare to shew the like comforte That daily is shewed by me, Mery-Reporte? And, for your purpose at this time ment, for all wethers I am so indifferent, Without affeccion, standinge so upright-- Sonlight, monelight, sterlight, twilight, torchlight, Cold, hete, rnoist, drye, haile, raine, frost, snow, lightning, thunder, Cloudy, misty, windy, faire, fowle above hed or under, Temperate or distemperate, whatever it be-- I promise your lordship, all is one to me. JUPITER. Well, sonne, consid'ringe thine indifferency, And partely the rest of thy declaracion, We make the[e] our servaunte. And irnmediately We woll thou departe and cause proclamacion, Publishinge our pleasure to every nacion. Whiche thinge ons[e] done, with all diligens Make thy returne againe to this presens, Here to receive all sewters of eche degre. And suche as to the[e] may seme moste metely, We will thow bringe thern before our majest$e; And for the reste, that be not so worthy, Make thou reporte to us effectually, So that we may heare eche maner sewte at large. Thus se thow departe, and loke uppon thy charge. MERY-REPORT. Now, good my lorde god, Our Lady he with ye! [ <1To the audience.]>1 Frendes, a fellyshippe, let me go by ye. Thinke ye I may stand thrusting amonge you there? Nay, by God, I muste thrust about other gere! <1Mery-Report go'th out [to make proclamation].>1 |p JUPITER. Now, sins[e] we have thus farre set forth our purpose, A while we woll withdraw our godly presens, To enbold all such more plainely to disclose, As here will attende, in our foresaide pretens. And now, accordinge to your obediens, Rejoice ye in us with joy most joyfully, And we ourselfe shall joy in our owne glory! [<1Jupiter withdraws from the audience's view into his curtained>1 recess.] <1At th'ende of this staf the god hath a song played in his trone or>1 Mery-Report come in. <1Mery-Report cometh in [through the audience].>1 MERY-REPORT. Now, sirs, take hede, for here cometh goddes servaunt! Avaunte, carte[r]ly keytifs, avaunt! Why, ye dronken [w]horesons, will it not be? By your faith, have ye nother cap nor kne? Not one of you that will make curt'sy To me, that am squire for goddes precious body? Regarde ye nothinge mine authorit$e? No "Welcome home!" nor "Where have ye be?" Howbeit, if ye axyd, I coulde not well tell; But suer I thinke a thousande mile from hell, And, on my faith, I thinke, in my consciens, I have ben from hevyn as farre as heven is hens-- At Lovyn, at London, and in Lombardy, At Baldock, at Barfolde, and in Barbary, At Canturbery, at Coventr$e, at Colchester, At Wansworth and Welbeck, at Westchester, At Fullam, at Faleborne, and at Fenlow, At Wallingord, at Wakef[i]eld, and at Waltamstow, At Tawnton, at Tiptr$e, and at Totnam, At Glouce[s]ter, at Gilford, and at Gotham, At Hartforde, at Harwiche, at Harrow on the Hill, At Sudbery, S[o]uthhampton, at Shoters Hill, |p At Walsingham, at Wittam, and at Werwicke, At Boston, at Bristow, and at Berwicke, At Gravelyn, at Gravesend, and at Glastynbery, Ynge Gingiang Jayberd, the parishe of Butsbery-- The devill himselfe, without more leasure, Coulde not have gone halfe thus myche, I am sure! But, now I have warned them, let them even cho[o]se, for, in faith, I care not who winne or lose. <1Here the gentilman, before he cometh in, bloweth his horne.>1 MERY-REPORT. Now, by my trouth, this was a goodly hearing! I went it had ben the gentilwomens blowinge,; But it is not so, as I now suppose, For womens hornes sounde more in a mannys nose. <1[The gentleman enters with a retinue of followers.]>1 GENTILMAN. Stande ye mery, my frendes, everychone. MERY-REPORT. Say that to me and let the reste alone! Sir, ye be welcome, and all your meyny. GENTILMAN. Now, in good sooth, my frende, god-a-mercy! And sins[e] that I mete the[e] here thus by chaunce, I shall require the[e] of further acqueyntaunce. And brevely to shew the[e], this is the mater: I come to sew to the great god jupiter For helpe of thinges concerninge my recreacion, Accordinge to his late proclamacion. MERY-REPORT. Mar[r]y, and I am he that this must spede. But firste tell me, what be ye indede? GENTILMAN. Forsoth, good frende, I am a gentilman. MERY-REPORT. A goodly occupacion, by Seynt Anne! On my faith, your ma'ship hath a mery life. But who maketh al these hornes, yourself or your wife? Nay, even in ernest I aske you this question. GENTILMAN. Now, by my trouth, thou art a mery one! MERY-REPORT. In faith, of us both I thinke never one sad, For I am not so mery but ye seme as mad! But stande ye still and take a littell paine,; I will come to you by and by againe. <1[He approaches Jupiter's throne.]>1 Now, gracious god, if your will so be, I pray ye let me speke a worde with ye. JUPITER. My sonne, say on: let us he[a]re ty minde. |p MERY REPORT. My lord, there standeth a sewter even here behinde, A gentilman, in yonder corner; And, as l thinke, his name is mayster Horner. A hunter he is, and comith to make you sporte. He wolde hunte a sow or twaine out of this sorte. <1Here he pointeth to the women.>1 JUPITER. Whatsoever his minde be, let him appere. MERY-REPORT. Now, good mayster Horner, I pray you come nere. GENTILMAN. I am no horner, knave! I will thou know it. MERY-REPoRT. I thought ye had [been], for when ye did blow it, H[e]arde I never [w]horeson make horne so goo. As lefe ye kis'te mine ars as blow my hole soo! Come on your way before the god jupiter, And there for yourselfe ye shall be sewter. [<1The gentleman approaches Jupiter's throne.]>1 GENTILMAN. Moste mighty prince and god of every nacion, Pleasith your highnes to vouchsave the he[a]ringe Of me, whiche, accordinge to [y]our proclamacion, Doth make apparaunce, in way of besechinge Not sole for myselfe, but generally For all come of noble and auncient stock, Which sorte above all doth most thankfully Daily take paine for welth of the com[m]en flocke-- With diligent study alway devisinge To kepe them in order and unite', In peace to labour the encrees of their livinge Wherby eche man may prosper in plente'. Wherfore, good god, this is our [w]hole desiringe, That for ease of our paines, at times vacaunt, In our recreacion--whiche chiefely is huntinge-- It may please you to sende us wether pleasaunt: Drye and not misty, the winde calme and still, That, after our houndes yourninge so merily, Chasinge the dere over dale and hill, In he[a]ringe we may folow and to-comfort the cry. |p JUPITER. Right well we do perceive your [w]hole request, Whiche shall not faile to reste in memory. Wherfore we will ye set yourselfe at rest Till we have he[a]rde eche man indifferently,; And,e shall take suche order, universally, As hest may stande to our honour infinite, For welth in commune and ech mannys singuler profite. <1[Jupiter retires into his curtained throne.]>1 GENTILMAN. In heven and yerth honoured be the name Of jupiter, who, of his godly goodnes, Hath set this mater in so goodly frame That every wight shall have his desire, doutles! And first for us nobles and gentilmen, I doute not, in his wisedome, to provide Suche wether as in our huntinge, now and then, We may both teyse and receive on every side. Whiche thinge ones had, for our seyd recreacion, Shall greatly prevaile you in preferringe our helth. For what thinge more nedefull then our preservacion, Beinge the weale and heddes of all com[m]enwelth? MERY-REPORT. Now I beseche your ma'ship, whose hed be you? GENTILMAN. Whose hed am I? Thy hed. What sey'st thou now? MERY-REPORT. Nay, I thinke it very trew, so God me helpe! For I have ever ben, of a littell whelpe, So full of fansies and in so many fittes, So many smale reasons, and in so many wittes, That, even as I stande, I pray God I be dede If ever I thought them all mete for one hede. But sins[e] I have one hed more then I knew, Blame not my rejoicinge--I love all thinges new. And suer it is a treasour of heddes to have store. One feate can I now that I never coude before. GENTILMAN. What is that? MERY-REPORT. By God, sins[e] ye came hither, |p I can set my hedde and my taile togither! This hed shall save mon[e]y, by Saint Mary: From hensforth I will no potycary, For at all timys when suche thinges shall mister My new hed shall geve mine olde taile a glister. And, after all this, then shall my hedde waite Uppon my taile, and there stande at receite. Sir, for the reste I will not now move you, But if we live ye shall smell how I love yow. And, sir, touching your sewt here, depart when it please you, For, be ye suer, as I can I will ease you. GENTILMAN. Then give me thy hande. That promise I take. And if for my sake any sewt thou do make, I promise thy paine to be requited More largely then now shall be recited. [Exit.] MERY-REPORT. Alas, my necke! Goddes pity, where is my hed? By Saint Ive, I feare me I shall be ded! And if I were, methinke it were no wonder, Sins[e] my hed and my body is so farre asonder. <1Ent'reth the marchaunt.>1 Mayster person, now welcome, by my life! I pray you, how doth my mastres, your wife? MARCHAUNT. Sir, for the presthod, and wife that ye alledge, I se ye speke more of dotage then knowledge. But let pas, sir. I wolde to you be sewter To bringe me, if ye can, before jupiter. [MERY-REPORT.] Yes, mar[r]y, can I, and will do it indede. Tary, and I shall make wey for your spede. <1[He goes to the throne of Jupiter.]>1 In faith, good lord, if it please your gracious godship, I muste have a worde or twaine with your lordship. Sir, yonder is another man in place |p Who maketh great sewt to speke with your grace. Your pleasure ones knowen, he commeth by and by. JUPITER. Bring him before our presens sone, hardely. [Mery-<1Report returns to the merchant.]>1 MERY-REPORT. Why, where be you? Shall I not finde ye? Come away. I pray God the devill blinde ye! [ <1The merchant approaches Jupiter's throne.]>1 MARCHAUNT. Most mighty prince and lorde of lordes all, Right humvly besecheth your majest$e Your marchaunt-men thorow the worlde all, That it may please you, of your benignit$e In the daily daunger of our gooes and life Firste to consider the desert of our request-- What welth we bring the rest, to our great care and strife-- And then to rewarde us as ye shall thinke best. What were the surplisage of eche commodit$e Whiche groweth and encreaseth in every lande, Excepte exchaunge by suche men as we be By wey of entercours, that lieth on our hande? We fraught from horne thinges ywherof there is plent$e And home we bringe such thinges as there be scant. Who sholde afore us marchauntes accompted be? For were not we, the worlde shuld wishe and want In many thinges, which now shall lack rehersall. And, brevely to conclude, we beseche your highnes That of the benefite proclaimed in generall We may be parte-takers, for comen encres, Stablishinge wether thus, pleasinge your grace: Stormy nor misty, the winde mesurable, That savely we may passe fromn place to place, Beringe our seylys for spede moste vayleable; And also the winde to chaunge, and to turne Eest, west, north, and south, as beste may be set-- In any one place not to[o] longe to sojourne, For the length of our vyage may lese our market. JUPITER. Right well have ye saide; and we accept it so, And so shall we rewarde you ere we go hens. |p But ye muste take paciens till we have h[e]arde mo, That we may indiffrently give sentens. There may passe by us no spot of negligence, Butjustely to judge eche thinge so uprighte That ech mans parte maye shine in the selfe righte. [Jupiter retires <1into his curtained throne.]>1 MERY-REPORT. Now, sir, by your faith: if ye shulde be sworne, H[e]arde ye ever god speke so, sins[e] ye were borne? So wisely, so gentilly his wordes be show'd! MARCHAUNT. I thanke his grace. My sewte is well bestow'd. MERY-REPORT. Sir, what vyage entende ye nexte to go? MARCHAUNT. I truste or mid-Lente to be to Sio. MERY-REPORT. Ha, ha! Is it your minde to saile at Sio? Nay, then, when ye will, by'r Lady, ye maye go, And let me alone with this. Be of good chere;, Ye maye truste me at Sio as well as here. For, though ye were fro me a thousande mile space, I wolde do as myche as ye were here in place,; For, sins[e] that from hens it is so farre thither, I care not though ye never come againe hither. MARCHAUNT. Sir, if ye remember me when time shall come, Though I requite not all, I shall deserve some. <1exeat Marchaunt.>1 MERY-REPORT. Now, fare ye well and God thanke you, by Saint Anne! [To <1the audience.]>1 I pray you marke the fasshion of this honeste manne: He putteth me in more truste at this metinge here Then he shall finde cause why this twenty yere! <1Here ent'reth the ranger.>1 RANGER. God be here! Now Crist kepe this company! MERY-REPORT. In faith, ye be welcome--evyn very skantely. Sir, for your cominge, what is the mater? RANGER. I wolde faine speke with the god jupiter. MERY-REPORT. That will not be. But ye may do this: Tell me your minde. I am an ofiicer of his. RANGER. Be ye so? Mar[r]y, I cry you marcy! Your maystership may say I am homely. But sins[e] your minde is to have reportyd The cause wherfore I am now resortyd, Pleasith your maystership it is so:. I come for myselfe and suche other mo, Rangers and kepers of certaine places, As forestes, parkes, purlews, and chasys, Where we be chargyd with all maner game. Smale is our profite and great is our blame. Alas, for our wages, what be we the nere? What is forty shillinges, or five marke, a yere? Many times and oft, where we be flittinge, We spende forty pens apece at a sittinge! Now, for our vauntage, whiche chefely is winde-fal[l]e, That is right nought--there blowith no winde at all. Whiche is the thinge wherin we finde most grefe And cause of my comminge to sew ror relefe: That the god, of pity, all this thinge knowinge, Maye sende us good rage of blust'ring and blowinge. And if I cannot get god to do some good, I wolde hier the devill to runne thorow the wood The rootes to turne up, the toppys to bringe under. A mischiefe upon them, and a wilde thunder! MERY-REPORT. Very well said! I set by your charit$e As mych, in a maner, as by your honeste'. I shall set you somwhat in ease anone:. Ye shall putte on your cappe when I am gone. For I se ye care not who win or lese, So ye maye finde meanys to win your fees. RANGER. Sir, as in that, ye speke as it please ye. But let me speke with the god, if it maye be. [He tries <1to approach the throne.]>1 I pray you, lette me passe ye. MERY-REPORT. Why, nay, sir, by the masse, ye! RANGER. Then will I leve you evyn as I founde ye. |p MERY-REPORT. Go when ye will. No man here hath bounde ye. <1Here ent'reth the water miller, and the ranger go'th out.>1 WATER MILLER. What the devill shold skil though all the world were dum, Sins[e] in all our spekinge we never be h[e]arde? We crye out for raine--the devill sped drop will cum! We water millers be nothinge in regarde. No water have we to grinde at any stint: The winde is so stronge the raine cannot fall, Whiche kepeth Our mil[l]-dams as drye as a flint. live are undone! We grinde nothinge at all-- The greter is the pit$e, as thinketh me. For, what availeth to eche man his corne Till it be grounde by such men as we be? There is the losse, if we be forborne. For, touchinge ourselfes, we are but drudgys And very beggers, save onely our tole-- Whiche is right smale, and yet many grudges for griste of a busshell to give a quarte bole. Yet, were not reparacions, we might do wele:. Clur mil[l]ston[e]s, our whele wwith her kogges, and our trindill, Our floodgate, our mil[l]pooll, our water whele, Clur hopper, our ex-tre[e], our iren spindill-- In this, and mych more, so great is our charge That we wolde not recke though no water ware; Save onely it toucheth eche man so large, And ech for our neighbour Criste biddeth us care. Wherfore, my conscience hath pricked me hither In this to sewe--accordinge to the cry-- for plent$e of raine, to the god jupiter, To whose presence I will go evyn boldely. <1[Mery-Report bars his way.]>1 MERY-REPORT. Sir, I dowt nothinge your audacit$e |p But I feare me Ye lacke capacit$e; for, if ye were wise, ye mighte well espye How rudely ye erre from rewls of curtesye. What? Ye come in revelinge and reheytinge, Evyn as a knave might go to a beare-beytinge. WATER MILLER <1[to the audience].>1 All you bere recorde what favour I have! Herke how familierly he calleth me knave! Dowtles the gentilman is universall. But marke this lesson, sir: you shulde never call Your felow knave, nor your brother [w]horeson, For nought can ye get by it when ye have done. MERY-REPORT. Thou arte nother brother nor felowwe to rne, For I am goddes servaunt--may'st thou not se? Wolde ye presume to speke with the great god? Nay, discrecion and you be to[o] farre od! By'r Lady, these knavys muste be tied shorter. Sir, who let you in? Spake ye with the porter? WATER MILLER. Nay, by my trouth, nor with no nother man; Yet I saw you well when I first began. Howbeit, so helpe me God and holydam, I toke you but for a knave, as I am. But mar[r]y, now, sins[e] I knowe ywhat ye be, I muste and will obey your authorit$e. And if I maye not speke with jupiter, I beseche you be my soliciter. MERY-REPORT. As in that, I wil be your well-willer. I perceive you be a water miller;, And your [w]hole desire, as I take the mater, Is plent$e of raine for encres of water. The let wherof, ye affirme determinately, Is onely the winde, your mortall enemy. WATER MILLER. Trouth it is, for it blowith so alofte We never have raine, or, at the most, not Ofte. Wherfore, I praye you, put the god in minde Clerely forever to banish the winde. <1[Here] ent'reth the wind miller.>1 WIND MILLER. How? Is all the wether gone or I come? for the Passion nf God, helpe me to some! l am a wind miller, as many mo be. No wretch in wretchidnes so wrechyd as we! The let wherof, ye aflirme determinately, Is onely the winde, your mortall enemy. The [w]hole sorte of my crafte be all mar[r]'d at onys. The winde is so weyke it sturrith not our stonys, Nor skantely can shatter the shittyn saile That hangeth shatteringe at a womans taile. The raine never resteth, so longe be the show'res from time of beginning till foure and twenty howres; And, ende whan it shall, at night or at none, Another beginneth as soone as that is done. Such revell of raine, ye knowe well inough, Destroyeth the winde, be it never so rough; Wherby, sins[e] our millys be come to still standinge, Now maye we wind millers go evyn to hanginge. A miller? With a moryn and a mischiefe! Who wolde be a miller? As good be a thefe. Yet in time past, when grindinge was plente', Who were so like goddys felows as we? As faste as God made corne, we millers made meale. Whiche might be best forborne for comynweale? But let that gere passe, for I feare our pride Is cause of the care whiche God doth us provide. Wherfore I submit me, entendinge to se What comforte maye come by humilite-. And now at this time, they said in the crye, The god is come dowwne to shape remedye. MERY-REPORT. No doute he is here, even in yonder trone; But in your mater he trusteth me alone. Wherin I do perceive, by your complainte, Oppression of raine doth make the winde so fainte That ye winde millers be clene caste away. WIND MILLER. Ifjupiter helpe not, it is as ye say. But, in few wordes to tell you my minde rounde, Uppon this condicion I wolde be bounde Day by day to say Clur Ladyes sauter: That in this world were no drope of water, Nor never raine, but winde continuall. Then shold we winde millers be lordes over all! MERY-REPORT. Come on, and assay how you twaine can agre-- A brother of yours, a miller, as ye be! WATER MILLER. By meane of our craft we may be brothers, But whiles we live shall we never be lovers. We be of one crafte, but not of one kinde: I live by water and he by the winde. <1Here,Mery-Reporte go'th out.>1 |p And, sir, as ye desire winde continuall, So wolde I have raine evermore to fall-- Whiche two, in experience right well ye se, Right selde or never together can be. for as longe as the winde rewleth, it is plaine, Twenty to one ye get no drop of raine,; And when the element is to[o] farre oppres't, Downe commeth the raine and setteth the winde at rest. By this, ye se, we cannot both obtaine, for ye must lacke winde or I must lacke raine. Wherfore I thinke good, before this audiens, Eche for ourselfe to say, or we go hens. And whom is thought wweykest, when we have finish't, Leve of[f] his sewt and content to he banish't. WIND MILLER. In faith, agreed. But then, by your licens, Our milles for a time shall hange in suspens. Sins[e] water and winde is chiefely our sewt, Whiche best may be spared we woll first dispute. Wherfore to the see my reason shall resorte, Where shippes by meane of wind try from pOrt to port, From lande to lande, in distaunce many a mile-- Great is the passage and smale is the while. So great is the profite, as to me doth seme, That no mans wisdome the welth can exteme. And sins[e] the winde is conveyer of all, Who but the winde shulde have thanke above all? WATER MILLER. A[d]mitte in this place a tree here to growwe, And therat the winde in great rage to blowe; When it hath all blowen, this is a clere case:. The tre removith no here-bred from his place. No more wolde the shippys, blow the best it cowde; Allthough it wolde blow downe both mast and shrowde, Except the shippe flete uppon the water The winde can right nought do--a plaine mater. Yet maye ye on water, without any winde, Row forth your vessell where men will have her sin'de. Nothinge more rejoiceth the mariner |p Then meane coolys of winde and plent$e of water, for commenly the cause of every wracke Is excesse of winde where water doth lacke. In rage of these stormys the perell is suche That better were no winde then so farre to[o] muche. WIND MILLER. Well, if my reason in this may not stande, I will forsake the see and lepe to lande. In every chirche where Goddys service is, The organs beare brunt of halfe the quere, iwwis. Whiche causith the sounde, or water or winde? Moreover, for winde this thinge I finde: for the most parte, all maner minstrelsy By,inde they deliver their sound chefly. Fill me a bagpipe of your water full, As swetly shall it sounde as it were stuffyd with wuIf. WATER MILLER. On my faith, I thinke the moone be at the full! for franti[c]ke fansies be then most plentefull, Which are at the pride of their springe in your hed, So farre from our mater he is now fled. As for the winde in any instrument, It is no percell of our argument. We speke of winde that comith naturally, And that is winde forcyd artificially-- Whiche is not to purpose. But, if it were, And water, indede, right nought coulde do there, Yet I thinke organs no suche commodit$e Wherby the water shulde banished be. And for your bagpipes, I take them as nifuls. Your mater is all in fansies and trifiils. WIND MILLER. By God, but ye shall not trifull me of[f] so! If these thinges serve not, I will reherse mo. And now to minde there is one olde proverbe come: One bushell of March dust is worth a kinges raunsome.'' What is a hundreth thousande bushels wworth, than? WATER MILLER. Not one mite, for the thinge selfe, to no man. WIND MILLER. Why, shall winde everywhere thus be ob]ecte? Nay, in the hyewayes he shall take effecte, Whereas the raine doth never good, but hurt; |p For winde maketh but dust, and water maketh durt. Powder or syrop, sirs, whiche lycke ye beste? Who lycketh not the tone maye licke up the reste. But, sure, whosoever hath assayed such sippes Had lever have dusty eyes then durty lippes. And it is said sins[e] afore we were borne That "drought doth never make derth of corne." And well it is knowen to the most foole here How raine hath priced corne within this seven yere. WATER MILLER. Sir, I pray the[e], spare me a litill season, And I shall brevely conclude the[e] with reason. Put case on[e] som[m]ers daye without winde to be, And ragious winde in winter dayes two or thre: Mych more shall dry that one calme daye in som[m]er Then shall those thre windy dayes in winter. Whom shall we thanke for this, when all is dOne? The thanke to winde? Nay, thanke chiefely the sone. And so for drought: if corne therby encres, The sone doth comforte and ripe all, dowtles. And oft the winde so ley'th the corne, God wot, That never after can it ripe, but rot. If drought toke place, as ye say, yet maye ye se Litell helpeth the winde in this commodit$. But now, sir, I deny your principyll. If drought ever were, it were impossibyll To have ony graine; for, or it can grow, Ye must plow yOur lande, harrow, and sow, Whiche will not be except ye maye have raine To temper the grounde. And after, againe, For springinge and plumping all maner corne Yet muste ye have water, or all is forlorne. If ye take water for no commodit$e, Yet must ye take it for thinge of necessit$e For washinge, for skowringe, all filth clensinge. Where water lacketh, what bestely beinge! In brewing, in bakinge, in dressinge of meate, If ve lacke water what coulde ye drinke or eate? Without water coulde live neither man nor best, For water preservith both moste and lest. For water coulde I say a thousande thinges mo, |p Savinge as now the time will not serve so. And as for that winde that you do sew fore, Is good for your windemill and for no more! Sir, sith all this in experience is try'de, I say this mater standeth clere on my side. WIND MILLER. Well, sins[e] this will not serve, I will alledge the reste. Sir, for our millys, I saye mine is the beste. My windmill shall grind more corne in one [h]our Then thy watermill shall in thre or foure-- Ye[a], more then thine shulde in a [w]hole yere, If thou mightest have as thou hast wishyd here. for thou desirest to have excesse of raine, Which thing to the[e] were the worst thou coudist obtaine. for, if thou didist, it were a plaine induccion To make thine owne desier thine owne destruccion. for in excesse of raine, at any flood Your millys must stande still--they can do no good. And whan the winde doth blow the uttermost, Clur windmilles walke amaine in every cost. For, as we se the winde in his estate, We moder our sailys after the same rate. Sins[e] our millys grinde so farre faster then yours, And also they may grinde all times and howrs, I say we nede no watermilles at all, For windmilles be sufficient to serve all. WATER MILLER. Thou spekest of "all" and considerest not halfe. In boste of thy griste thou arte wise as a calfe! For, though above us your milles grinde farre faster, What helpe to those from whome ye be myche farther? And, of two sortes, if the tone shold be conserved, I thinke it mete the moste nomber be served. In vales and we[a]ldes, where moste commodit$e is, There is most people--ye must graunte me this. On hilles and downes, whiche partes are moste barayne, There muste be few--it can no mo sustaine. I darre well say, if it were tried even now, That there is ten of us to one of you. And where shuld chiefely all necessaries be, |p But there as people are moste in plent$e? More reason that you come seven mile to mill Then all we of the vale sholde clime the hill. lf raine came reasonable, as I require it, We sholde of your windemilles have nede no whit. <1Ent'reth,Mery-Reporte.>1 MERY-REPORT. Stop, fo[o]lish knaves! for your reasoninge is suche That ye have reasoned even inough--and to[o] much. l h[e]ard all the wordes that ye both have hadde. So helpe me God, the knaves be more then madde! Nother of them both that hath wit nor grace To perceive that both millys may serve in place. Betwene water and winde there is no suche let But eche mill may have time to use his fet. Whiche thinge I can tell by experiens: For I have, of mine owne--not farre from hens, In a corner together--a couple of millys, Standinge in a marres betwene two hillys-- Not of inheritaunce, but by my wife;, She is feofed in the taile fbr terme of her life-- The one for winde, the other fbr water. And of them both, I thanke God, there standeth nother. For, in a good hour be it spoken, The water gate is no so[o]ner open But clap! say'th the windmill, even straight behinde. There is good spedde the devill and all they grinde! But whether that the hopper be dusty, Or that the mil[l]stonys be sumwhat rusty, By the mas, the meale is mischevous musty! And if ye thinke my tale be not trusty, I make ye trew promise: come when ye list, We shall finde meane ye shall taste of the grist. WATER MILLER. The corne at recei[p]t happely is not good. MERY-REPORT. There can be no sweeter, by the sweet rood! Another thinge yet, whiche shall not be cloked:. |p My watermill many tirnes is choked. WATER MILLER. So will she be, though ye shuld burste your bones, Except ye be perfit in settinge your stones. fere not the lydger, beware your ronner. Yet this for the lydger, or ye have wonne her: perchuince your lydger doth lacke good pecking. MERY-REPORT. So say'th my wife, and that maketh all our checking. She wolde have the mill peck't, peck't, peck't every day! But, by God, millers muste pecke wwhen they may. So oft have we peck't that our stones wwax right thin, And all our other gere not worth a pin; for with peckinge and pecking I have so wrought That I have peck't a good peckinge-iron to nought. Howbeit, if l sticke no better till her, My wife say'th she will have a neyw miller. But let it passe. And now to our mater: I say my millys lack nother winde nor water-- No more do yours, as farre as nede doth require. But sins[e] ye cannot agree, I will desire Jupiter to set you both in suche rest As to your welth and his honour may stande best. WATER MILLER. I pray you hertely, remember me! WIND MILLER. Let not me be forgoten, I beseche ye! <1Both millers go'thforth.>1 MERY-REPORT. If I remember you not both alike, I wolde ye were over the eares in the dike! Now be wwe rid of two knaves at one chaunce. By Saint Thomas, it is a knavishe riddaunce. <1The gentilwoman ent'reth.>1 CENTILWOMAN. Now, good God, what a fol[l]y is this? What sholde I do where so mych people is? I know not how to passe in to the god now. MERY-REPORT. No, but ye know how he may passe into you. |p GENTILWOMAN. l pray you, let me in at the b?acke side. MERY-REPORT. Ye[a], shall l so and your foreside so wide? Nay, not yet! But sins[e] ye love to be alone, We twaine will into a corner anone. But firste, I pray you, come your wy, hither And let us twaine chat a while togither. GENTILWOMAN. Sir, as to you I have littell mater. My comminge is to speke with jupiter. MERY-REPORT. Stande ye still a while, and I will go prove Whether that the god will be brought in love. <1[He approaches Jupiter's throne.]>1 My lorde, how now, loke uppe lustely: Here is a derlinge come, by Saint Antony! And if it be your pleasure to mar[r]y, Speke quickly, for she may not tar[r]y. ln faith, I thinke ye may winne her anone, For she wolde speke with your lordship alone. JUPITER. Sonne, that is not the thinge at this time ment. lf her sewt concerne no cause of our hither resorte, Sende her out of place. But if she be bent To that purpose, heare her and make us reporte. <1[Jupiter retires,; ,Merry-Report returns to the gentlewoman.]>1 MERY-REPORT. I count women lost, if we love them not well, For ye se god loveth them never a dele! Maystres, ye cannot speke with the god. GENTILWOMAN. No? Why? MERY-REPORT. By my faith, for his lordship is right besy With a pece of worke that nedes must be doone: Even now he is makinge of a new moone. He saith your old moones be so farre tasted That all the goodnes of them is wasted,; Whiche of the great wete hath ben moste mater, For olde moones be leake--they can holde no water. But for this new mo[o]ne, I durst lay my gowne, Except a few droppes at her going downe, Ye get no raine till her arisinge-- Without it nede, and then no mans devisinge Coulde wishe the fashion of raine to be so good: Not gushinge out like gutters of Noyes flood, But smale droppes sprinkling softly on the grounde; Though they fell on a sponge they wold give no sounde. This new moone shal make a thing spring more in this while Then a old moone shal while a man may go a mile. By that time the god hath all made an ende, |p Ye shall se how the wether will amende. By Saint Anne, he go'th to worke even boldely! I thinke him wise inough, for he loketh oldely! Wherfore, maystres, be ye now of good chere, for though in his presens ye cannot appere, Tell me your mater and let me alone-- Mayhappe I will thinke on you,hen you be gone. GENTILWOMAN. forsoth, the cause of rny comminge is this: I am a woman right faire, as ye se;, In no creature more beauty then in me is. And, sins[e] I am faire, faire wolde I kepe me. But the sonne in som[m]er so sore doth b?urne me, In winter the winde on every side me, No parte of the yere wote I where to turne me, But even in my house am I faine to hide me. And so do all other that be[a]uty have. In whose name at this time this sewt I make, Besechinge jupiter to graunt that I crave, Whiche is this: that it may please him, fbr our sake, To sende us wether close and temperate, No sonneshine, no frost, nor no winde to blow. Then wolde we jet the stretes trim as a parate. Ye shold se how we wolde set ourselfe to show! MERY-REPORT. jet where ye will, I swere, by Sainte Quintine, Ye passe them all, both in your owne conceit and mine. GENTILWOMAN. If we had wether to walke at our pleasure, Our lives wolde be mery out of measure:. One parte of the day for our apparellinge, Another parte for eatinge and drinkinge, And all the reste in stretes to be walkinge Or in the house to passe time with talkinge. MERY-REPORT. When serve ye God? GENTILWOMAN. Who bosteth in vertue are but daws. MERY-REPORT. Ye do the better, namely sins[e] there is no cause. How spende ye the night? GENTILWOMAN. In daunsinge and singinge Till midnight, and then fall to slepinge. MERY-REPORT. Why, swete herte, by your false faith, can ye sing? GENTILWOMAN. Nay, nay, but I love it above all thinge. MERY-REPORT. Now, by my trouth, for the love that I owe you, |p You shall he[a]re what pleasure I can shew you. One songe have I for you, suche as it is, And if it were better ye shold have it, by Gis. GENTILWOMAN. Mar[r]y, sir, I thanke you even hartely. MERY-REPORT. Come On, sirs, but now let us singe lust[e]ly. <1Here thev singe.>1 GENTILWOMAN. Sir, this is well done. I hertely thanke you. Ye have done me pleasure, I make God avowe. Ones in a night I longe for suche a fit;, For longe time have I ben brought up in it. MERY-REPORT. Oft time it is sene, both in court and towwne; Longe be women a bringing up, and sone brought down. So fete it is, so nete it is, so nise it is, So tricke it is, so quicke it is, so wise it is! I fere myselfe, excepte I may entreat her I am so farre in love I shall forget her. Now, good maystres, I pray you, let me kis ye. GENTILWOMAN. Kis me, quoth a! Why, nay, sir, I wis ye. MERY-REPORT. What? Yes, hardely! Kis me ons[e] and no more. I never desired to kis you before. <1Here the launder cometh in.>1 LAUNDER. Why, have ye alway kis't her behinde? In faith, good inough, if it be your minde. And if your appetite serve you so to do, By'r Lady, I wolde ye had kis't mine ars, to[o]! MERY-REPORT. To whom dost thou speke, fouIe [w]hore, canst thou tell? LAUNDER. Nay, by my trouth, sir, not very well. But by conjecture this g[u]es[s] I have: That I do speke to an olde baudy knave! I saw you dally with your simper-de-cokket,; I rede you beware she pick not your pokket. Such idyll huswifes do now and than Thinke all well wonne that they pick from a man. Yet such of some men shall have more favour Then we, that for them daily toile and labour. But I trust the god will be so indifferent That she shall faile some parte of her entent. MERY-REPORT. No dout he will deale so graciously That all foIke shall be served indifferently. Howbeit, I tell the trewth, my office is suche |p That I muste reporte eche sewt, littell or muche. Wherfore, with the god sins[e] thou canst not speke, Trust me with thy sewt. I will not faile it to breke. LAUNDER. Then leane not to[o] myche to yonder giglet, For her desire contrary to mine is set. I he[a]rde by her tale she wolde banishe the sonne, And then were we pore launders all undonne. Excepte the sonne shine that our clothes may dry, We can do right nought in our laundry-- Another maner losse, if we sholde mis, Then of such nicehiceters as she is. GENTILWOMAN. I thinke it better that thou envy me Then I sholde stande at rewarde of thy pitt$e. It is the guise of such grose queynes as thou art, With such as I am evermore to thwart. Bicause that no beauty ye can obtaine Therfore ye have us that be faire in disdaine. LAUNDER. When I was as yonge as thou art now, I was within littel as faire as thou, And so might have kept me if I hadde wolde-- And as derely my youth I might have solde As the trickest and fairest of you all. But I feared parels that after might fall. Wherfore some besines I did me provide Lest vice might enter on every side, Whiche hath fre entr$e where idylnesse doth reyne. It is not thy beauty that I disdeyne, But thine idyll life that thou hast rehersed, Which any good womans hert wolde have perced. For I perceive in daunsinge and singinge, In eating and drinkinge and thine apparellinge, Is all thejoye wherin thy herte is set. But nought of all this doth thine owne labour get. for haddest thou nothing but of thine owne travaile Thou mightest go as naked as my naile. Methinke thou shuldest abhorre suche idylnes And passe thy time in some honest besines. Better to lese some parte of thy beaut$e Then so oft to jeoberd all thine honest$e. But I thinke, rather then thou woldest so do, |p Thou haddest lever have us live idylly to[o]. And so, no doute, we shulde, if thou mightest have The clere son[n]e banish't, as thou dost crave! Then were we launders mar[r]'de. And unto the[e] Thine owne request were smale commodit$e. for of these twaine I thinke it farre better Thy face were son[n]eburned, and thy clothis the swetter, Then that the sonne from shininge sholde be smitten To kepe thy face faire and thy smocke beshitten. Sir, how lycke ye my reason in her case? MERY-REPORT. Such a railinge [w]hore, by the holy mas, I never he[a]rde in all my life till now! Indede I love right well the ton of you; But, or I wolde kepe you both, by Goddes mother, The devill shall have the tone to fet the tother! LAUNDER. Promise me to speke that the son[n]e may shine bright, And I will be gone quickly for all night. MERY-REPORT. Get you both hens, I pray you hartely. Your sewtes I perceive, and will reporte them trewly Unto jupiter at the next leisure, And, in the same, desire to know his pleasure; Whiche knowledge hadde, even as he doth show it, Feare ye not, time inough ye shall know it. GENTILWOMAN. Sir, if ye medill, remember me firste. LAUNDER. Then in this med'linge my parte shal be the wurst. MERY-REPORT. Noww, I beseche our Lorde, the devill the[e] burst! Who med'lith with many, I hold him accurst. Thou [w]hore, can I med[d]il with you both at ones? <1Here the gentilwoman go'th forth.>1 LAUNDER. By the rnas, knave, I wold I had both thy stones In my purs, if thou med[d]il not indifferently, That both our maters in issew may be lyckly. MERY-REPORT. Many wordes, littell mater, and to no purpose-- Suche is the effect that thou dost disclose. |p The more ye bib, the more ye babyll; The more ye babyll, the more ye fabyll; The more ye fabyll, the more unstabyll; The more unstabyll, the more unabyll In any maner thinge to do any good. No hurt though ye were hanged, by the holy rood! LAUNDER. The les your silence, the lesse your credence; The les your credens, the les your honest$e;, The les Your honest$e, the les your assistens; The les your assistens, the les abilit$e In you to do ought. Wherfore, so God me save, No hurte in hanginge suche a railinge knave! MERY-REPORT. What monster is this? I never h[e]arde none suche! For loke how myche more I have made her to[o] myche, And so farre, at lest, she hath made me to[o] littell. Wher be ye launder? I thinke in some spittell. Ye shall washe me no gere, for feare of fret[t]inge; I love no launders that shrinke my gere in wettinge. I pray the[e] go hens and let me be in rest! I will do thine erand as I thinke best. LAUNDER. Now wolde I take my leve, if I wiste how. The lenger I live, the more knave you! MERY-REPORT. The lenger thou livest, the pit$e the gretter; The so[o]ner thou be rid, the tidinges the better! [exit <1the launder.]>1 Is not this a swete oflice that I have, When every drab shall prove me a knave? Every man knoweth not what goddes service is, Nor I myselfe knew it not before this. I thinke goddes seryauntes may live holily, But the devils servauntes live more merily. I know not what god geveth in standinges fees, But the devils servauntes have casweltees A hundred times mo then goddes servauntes have. For, though ye be never so starke a knave, If ye lacke money the devill will do no wurse But bringe you straight to another mans purse. Then will the devill promote you here in this world, |p As unto suche riche it doth moste accord: Firste, <1"Pater noster, qui es in caelis,">1 And then ye shall sens the shrife with your helys. The greatest frende ye have in felde or towne, Standinge a-tipto[e], shall not reche your crowne. <1The boy comith in, the lest that can play.>1 BOY. This same is even he, by al lycklihod. Sir, I pray you, be not you master god? MERY-REPORT. No, in good faith, sonne. But I may say to the[e] I am suche a man that god may not misse me. Wherfore with the god if thou wwoldest have ought done, Tell me thy rninde, and I shall shew it sone. BOY. forsothe, sir, my minde is this, at few wordes: All my pleasure is in catchinge of birdes, And makinge of snow-ballys and throwing the same. For the whiche purpose to have set in frame, With my godfather god I wolde faine have spoken, Desiringe him to have sent me by some token Where I mighte have had great frost for my pitfallys And plent$e of snow to make my snowballys. This onys had, boyes livys be such as no man leddys. O, to se my snowballys light on my felowes heddys, And to he[a]re the birdes howw they flicker their winges In the pitfale! I say it passeth all thinges. Sir, if ye be goddes servaunt, or his kinsman, I pray you helpe me in this if ye can. MERY-REPORT. Alas, pore boy, who sent the[e] hether? BOY. A hundred boys that stode together, Where they he[a]rde one say in a cry That my godfather, god almighty, Was come from heven, by his owne accorde, This night to suppe here with my lorde. And farther he saide, come whoso wull, They shall sure have their bellies full Of all wethers, who liste to crave-- Eche sorte suche wether as they liste to have. And when my felowes thought this wolde be had, And saw me so prety a pratelinge lad, Uppon agrement, with a great nois, |p "Sende littell Dicke!" cried all the boys. By whose assent I am purvey'd To sew for the wether aforeseyd. Wherin I pray You to be good, as thus, To helpe that god may give it us. MERY-REPORT. Give boys wether, quoth a? nonny, nonny! BOY. If god of his wether will give nonny, I pray you, will he sell ony? Or lend us a bushell of snow or twaine, And 'point us a day to pay him againe? MERY-REPORT. I cannot tell, for, by this light, I che[a]p't nor borowed none of him this night. But by suche shifte as I will make Thou shalte se soone what waye he will take. BOY. Sir, I thanke you. Then I may departe? <1The boye go'th forth.>1 MERY-REPORT. Ye[a], farewell, good sonne, with all my harte! Now, such another sorte as here hath bene In all the dayes of my life I have not sene! No sewters now but women, knavys, and boys, And all their sewtys are in fansies and toys. If that there come no wiser after this cry I will to the god and make an ende quickely. <1[He makes a proclamation to the audience.]>1 Oyes! If that any knave here Be willinge to appere For wether fowle or clere, Come in before this flocke, And--be he [w]hole or sickly-- Come shew his minde quickly. And if his tale be not lyckly Ye shall licke my taile in the nocke. <1[He pauses,>1 but is <1not answered.]>1 All this time, I perceive, is spent in wast To waite for mo sewters. I se none make hast. Wherfore I will shew the god all this procys, And be delivered of my simple offys. <1[He goes to the throne of Jupiter.]>1 Now, lorde, accordinge to your commaundement, Attendinge sewters I have ben diligent. And, at beginning as your will was I sholde, |p I come now at ende to shewe what eche man wolde. The first sewter before yourselfe did appere: A gentilman desiringe wether clere, Clowdy nor misty, nor no winde to blow for hurt in his huntinge. And then, as ye know, The marchaunt sew'de--for all of that kinde-- For wether clere and mesurable winde, As they maye best bere their sailys to make spede. And streyght after this there came to me, indede, Another man who namyd himselfe a ranger, And said all of his crafte be farre brought in daunger For lacke of livinge, whiche chefely is windefall. But he plainely saith there bloweth no winde at al. Wherfore he desireth, for encrease of their fleesys, Extreme rage of winde, trees to tere in peces. Then came a water miller, and he cried out For water, and saide the winde was so stout The raine could not fale. Wherfore he made request For plenty of raine to set the winde at rest. And then, sir, there came a winde miller in, Who saide for the raine he could no winde win. The water he wish't to be banish't all, Besechinge your grace of winde continuall. Then came there another that wolde banish all this: A goodly dame, an idyll thinge, iwis! Winde, raine, nor froste, nor sonshine wold she have, But faire close wether, her beautye to save. Then came there another that liveth by laundry, Who muste have wether hote and clere, her clothys to dry. Then came there a boy for froste and snow continuall, Snow to make snowballys and frost for his pitfale-- For whiche, God wote, he seweth full gredely! Your first man wold have wether clere and not windy; The seconde the same, save cooles to blow meanly; The third desired stormes and winde most extremely; The fourth all in water, and wolde have no winde; The fift[h] no water, but all winde to grinde;, The sixt[h] wold have none of all these, nor no bright son[ne];, The seventh extremely the hote son wold have wonne; The eight[h] and the last, for frost and snow he pray'd. By'r Lady, we shall take shame, I am afraid! Who maketh in what maner this sort is led May think it impossible all to be sped. |p This nomber is smale--there lacketh twaine of ten-- And Yet by, the masse, amonge ten thousand men No one thinge could stand more wide from the tother! Not one of their sewtes agree'th with another. I promise You, here is a shrewed pece of warke! This gere will trye w[h]ether ye be a clarke. If Ye trust to me, it is a great fol[l]y, for it passeth my braines, by Goddes body! JUPITER. Son, thou haste ben diligent, and done so well That thy labour is right myche thankewworthy. But be thou suer we nede no whit thy counsell; For in ourselfe we have foresene remedy, Whiche thou shalt se. But firste, depart hens quickly To the gentilman and all other sewters here, And commaunde them all before us to appere. MERY-REPORT. That shall be no lenger in doinge Then I am in comminge and goinge. <1Mery-Report go'th out.>1 JUPITER. Suche debate as from above ye have h[e]arde, Suche debate beneth amonge yourselfes ye se. As longe as heddes from temperaunce be defer'd, So longe the bodies in distemperaunce be. This perceive ye all, but none can helpe save we. But as we there have made peace concordantly, So woll we here now give you remedy. <1Mery Reporte and all the sewters ent'reth.>1 MERY-REPORT. If I hadde caught them Or ever I raught them, I wolde have taught them To be nere me. full dere have I bought them, Lorde, so I sought them. Yet have I brought them-- Suche as they be. |p GENTILMAN. Pleaseth it your majest$e, lorde, so it is: We, as your subjectes and humble sewters all, Accordinge as we he[a]re your pleasure is, Are pres[s]yd to your presens. beinge principall Hed and governour of all in every place. Who joyeth not in your sight, nojoy can have. Wherfore we all commit us to your grace As lorde of lordes, us to perishe or save. JUPITER. As longe as discrecion so well doth you g[u]ide Obediently to use Your dewt$e, Dout ye not we shall your savet$e provide. Your grevys we have h[e]arde; wherfbre we sent for Ye To receive answere, eche man in his degre. And first, to content--most reason it is-- The firste man that sew'de, wherfore marke ye this: Oft shall ye have the wether clere and still To hunt in, for recompens of your paine. Also you merchauntes shall have myche your will: For, oft-times when no winde on lande doth remaine, Yet on the see plesaunt cooles you shall obtaine. And sins[e] your huntinge maye reste in the night, Oft shall the winde then rise, and before daylight It shall ratyll downe the wood in suche case That all ye rangers the better live may. And ye water millers shall obteyne this grace: Many times the raine to fall in the valey, When at the self times on hillys we shall purvey Faire wether for your windmilles, with such coolys of winde As in one instant both kindes of milles may grinde. And for ye faire women that close wether wold have, We shall provide that ye may sufliciently Have time to walke in, and your beauty save. And yet shall ye have, that liveth by laundry, The hote sonne oft inough your clothes to dry. Also ye, praty childe, shall have both frost and snow. Now marke this conclusion, we charge vou a-row: |p Myche better have we noyw devised for ye all Then ye all can perceive, or coude desire. Eche of you sew'd to have continuall Suche wether as his crafte onely doth require. All wethers in all places if men all times might hire, Who could live by other? What is this negligens, Us to atempt in suche inconveniens? Now, on the tother side, if we had graunted The full of some one sewt, and no mo, And from all the rest the wether had forbid, Yet whoso hadde obtained had wonne his owne wo. There is no one craft can preserve rnan so; But by other craftes, of necessit$e, He muste have myche parte of his commodit$e. All to serve at ones, and one destroy another, Or ellys to serve one and destroy all the rest-- Nother will we do the tone nor the tother, But serve as many, or as feyw, as ywe thinke best. And where, or what time, to serve moste or lest, The direccion of that doutles shall stande Perpetually in the power of our hande. Wherfore wwe will the [whole worlde to attende, Eche sort, on suche wether as for them doth fall---. Now one, now other, as liketh us to sende. Who that hath it, ply it; and suer we shall So g[u]ide the wether in course to you all, That eche with other ye shall [w]hol$e rernaine In pleasure and plentifull welth, certaine. GENTILMAN. Blessyd was the time wherin we were borne! First, for the blisfull chaunce of your godly presens, Next for our sewt. Was there never man beforne That ever h[e]arde so excellent a sentens As your grace hath gevyn to us all arow! Wherin your highnes hath so bountifully Distributed my parte, that Your grace shall know |p Yourselfe sooll possessed of hertes of all chivalry. MARCHAUNT. Likewise we marchauntes shall yeld us [w]hol[l]y Onely to laude the name ofjupiter As god of all goddes, you to serve soolly; For of everythinge, I se, you are norisher. RANGER. No dout it is so, for so we now finde;, Wherin your grace us rangers so doth binde That we shall give you our hertes with one accorde, For knowledge to know you as our onely lorde. WATER MILLER. Well, I can no more but: for our water, We shall geve your lordship Our Ladies sauter. WATER MILLER. Myche have ye bounde us; for, as I be saved, We have all obteyned better then we craved. GENTILWOMAN. That is treww. W[h]erfore, your grace shall trewly The hertes of such as I am have, surely. LAUNDER. And such as I am--who be as good as you-- His highnes shall be suer on, I make a vow. BOY. Godfather god, I will do somwhat for you againe: By Criste, ye may happe to have a bird or twaine! And I promise you, if any snow come, When I make my snowballys ye shall have sorne, MERY-REPORT. God thanke your lordship. Lo, how this is brought to pas! Sirs, now shall ye have the wether even as it was. JUPITER. We nede no whit ourselfe any farther to bost, For our dedes declare us apparauntly. Not onely here on yerth, in every cost, But also above in the hevynly company, Our prudens hath made peace universally;, Whiche thinge, we sey, recordeth us as principall God and governour of heven, yerth, and all. Now unto that heven we woll make retourne, Where we be glorified most triumphantly. Also we woll all ye that on yerth sojourne- Sins[e] cause giveth cause---to know us your lord onely, And now here to singe moste joyfully, |p Rejoicinge in us. And in meanetime we shall Ascende into our trone celestiall. [<1As they sing, Jupiter ascends and withdraws>1.] <1Finis.>1