Texts deposited by: Pamela Dalziel Post-Doctoral Fellow U of British Columbia Dept of English, UBC 379-1873 East Mall Vancouver, BC V6T 1W5 Canada Date Deposited : 28/11/1989 For all texts: availability [ U ] Author = Thomas Hardy Language= English P= page number C= column "((e))"/ (error)= an error [all are not marked] "((a))"= American spelling [all are not marked] Titles, etc. are surrounded by double parentheses "I" signals italics "{" signals compound words hyphenated at the end of a line "***" signals the end of a paragraph Texts: "How I built myself a house", Chamber's Journal, 18 march 1865 "Destiny and a blue cloak", New York Times, 4 Oct 1874 "The thieves who couldn't help sneezing", Father Chistmas, 1877 "An indiscretion in the life of an heiress", New Quarterly Magazine, July 1878 "Our exploits at West Poley", The Household, Nov 1892-April 1893 "The doctor's legend", MS Berg Collection "Old Mrs Chundle", MS Dorset county museum "Please include in the documentation a statement to the effect that these are the unedited versions of the texts -i.e the errors in the copy texts are retained and there are (doubtless) numerous "
((AN INDISCRETION IN THE LIFE OF AN HEIRESS.))
((PART I.))
((CHAPTER I.))
When I would pray and think, I think and pray
To several subjects: heaven hath my empty words;
Whilst my invention, hearing not my tongue,
Anchors on Isabel. ***
THE congregation in Tollamore Church were singing the evening
hymn, the people gently swaying backwards and forwards like
trees in a soft breeze. The heads of the village children, who
sat in the gallery, were inclined to one side as they uttered their
shrill notes, their eyes listlessly tracing some crack in the old
walls, or following the movement of a distant bough or bird,
with features rapt almost to painfulness. ***
In front of the children stood a thoughtful young man,
who was plainly enough the schoolmaster; and his gaze was
fixed on a remote part of the aisle beneath him. When the
singing was over, and all had sat down for the sermon, his eyes
still remained in the same place. There was some excuse for their
direction, for it was in a straight line forwards; but their fixity
was only to be explained by some object before them. This was
a square pew, containing one solitary sitter. But that sitter
was a young lady, and a very sweet lady was she. ***
Afternoon service in Tollamore parish was later than in many
others in that neighbourhood; and as the darkness deepened
during the progress of the sermon, the rector's pulpit-candles
shone to the remotest nooks of the building, till at length they
became the sole lights of the congregation. The lady was the
single person besides the preacher whose face was turned {west-wards,
the pew that she occupied being the only one in the church
in which the seat ran all round. She reclined in her corner, her
bonnet and dark dress growing by degrees invisible, and at last
only her upturned face could be discerned, a solitary white spot
against the black surface of the wainscot. Over her head rose
a vast marble monument, erected to the memory of her ancestors,
male and female; for she was one of high standing in that parish.
The design consisted of a winged skull and two cherubim, supporting
a pair of tall Corinthian columns, between which spread
a broad slab, containing the roll of ancient names, lineages, and
deeds, and surmounted by a pediment, with the crest of the
family at its apex. ***
As the youthful schoolmaster gazed, and all these details
became dimmer, her face was modified in his fancy, till it seemed
almost to resemble the carved marble skull immediately above her
head. The thought was unpleasant enough to arouse him from his
half-dreamy state, and he entered on rational considerations of
what a vast gulf lay between that lady and himself, what a
troublesome world it was to live in where such divisions could
exist, and how painful was the evil when a man of his unequal
history was possessed of a keen susceptibility. ***
Now a close observer, who should have happened to be near
the large pew, might have noticed before the light got low that
the interested gaze of the young man had been returned from
time to time by the young lady, although he, towards whom her
glances were directed, did not perceive the fact. It would have
been guessed that something in the past was common to both,
notwithstanding their difference in social standing. What that
was may be related in a few words. ***
One day in the previous week there had been some excitement
in the parish on account of the introduction upon the farm
of a steam threshing-machine for the first time, the date of
these events being some thirty years ago. The machine had
been hired by a farmer who was a relative of the schoolmaster's,
and when it was set going all the people round about came to
see it work. It was fixed in the corner of a field near the main
road, and in the afternoon a passing carriage stopped outside the
hedge. The steps were let down, and Miss Geraldine Allenville,
the young woman whom we have seen sitting in the church pew,
came through the gate of the field towards the engine. At that
hour most of the villagers had been to the spot, had gratified
their curiosity, and afterwards gone home again; so that there
were only now left standing beside the engine the engine-man,
the farmer, and the young schoolmaster, who had come like the
rest. The labourers were at the other part of the machine,
under the cornstack some distance off. ***
The girl looked with interest at the whizzing wheels, asked
questions of the old farmer, and remained in conversation with
him for some time, the schoolmaster standing a few paces distant,
and looking more or less towards her. Suddenly the
expression of his face changed to one of horror; he was by her
side in a moment, and, seizing hold of her, he swung her round
by the arm to a distance of several feet. ***
In speaking to the farmer she had inadvertently stepped
backwards, and had drawn so near to the band which ran from
the engine to the drum of the thresher that in another moment
her dress must have been caught, and she would have been
whirled round the wheel as a mangled carcase. As soon as the
meaning of the young man's act was understood by her she
turned deadly pale and nearly fainted. When she was well
enough to walk, the two men led her to the carriage, which had
been standing outside the hedge all the time. ***
"You have saved me from a ghastly death!" the agitated girl
murmured to the schoolmaster. "Oh! I can never forget it!"
and then she sank into the carriage and was driven away. ***
On account of this the schoolmaster had been invited to
Tollamore House to explain the incident to the Squire, the
young lady's only living parent. Mr. Allenville thanked her
preserver, inquired the history of his late father, a painter of
good family, but unfortunate and improvident; and finally told
his visitor that, if he were fond of study, the library of the house
was at his service. Geraldine herself had spoken very impulsively
to the young man--almost, indeed, with imprudent
warmth--and his tender interest in her during the church service
was the result of the sympathy she had shown. ***
And thus did an emotion, which became this man's sole
motive power through many following years, first arise and
establish itself. Only once more did she lift her eyes to where
he sat, and it was when they all stood up before leaving. This
time he noticed the glance. Her look of recognition led his
feelings onward yet another stage. Admiration grew to be
attachment; he even wished that he might own her, not exactly
as a wife, but as a being superior to himself--in the sense in
which a servant may be said to own a master. He would have
cared to possess her in order to exhibit her glories to the world,
and he scarcely even thought of her ever loving him. ***
There were two other stages in his course of love, but they
were not reached till some time after to-day. The first was a
change from this proud desire to a longing to cherish. The last
stage, later still, was when her very defects became {rallying-points
for defence, when every one of his senses became special
pleaders for her; and that not through blindness, but from a
tender inability to do aught else than defend her against all the
world. ***
((CHAPTER II.))
She was active, stirring, all fire--
Could not rest, could not tire--
Never in all the world such an one!
And here was plenty to be done,
And she that could do it, great or small,
She was to do nothing at all. ***
FIVE mornings later the same young man was looking out of the
window of Tollamore village school in a fixed and absent manner.
The weather was exceptionally mild, though scarcely to the
degree which would have justified his airy situation at such a
month of the year. A hazy light spread through the air, the
landscape on which his eyes were resting being enlivened and lit
up by the spirit of an unseen sun rather than by its direct rays.
Every sound could be heard for miles. There was a great crowing
of cocks, bleating of sheep, and cawing of rooks, which
proceeded from all points of the compass, rising and falling as
the origin of each sound was near or far away. There were also
audible the voices of people in the village, interspersed with
hearty laughs, the bell of a distant flock of sheep, a robin close
at hand, vehicles in the neighbouring roads and lanes. One of
these latter noises grew gradually more distinct, and proved
itself to be rapidly nearing the school. The listener blushed as
he heard it. ***
"Suppose it should be!" he said to himself. ***
He had said the same thing at every such noise that he had
heard during the foregoing week, and had been mistaken in his
hope. But this time a certain carriage did appear in answer to
his expectation. He came from the window hastily; and in a
minute a footman knocked and opened the school door. ***
"Miss Allenville wishes to speak to you, Mr. Mayne." ***
The schoolmaster went to the porch--he was a very young
man to be called a schoolmaster--his heart beating with excitement. ***
"Good morning," she said, with a confident yet girlish smile.
"My father expects me to inquire into the school arrangements,
and I wish to do so on my own account as well. May I come in?" ***
She entered as she spoke, telling the coachman to drive to
the village on some errand, and call for her in half an hour. ***
Mayne could have wished that she had not been so thoroughly
free from all apparent consciousness of the event of the previous
week, of the fact that he was considerably more of a man than
the small persons by whom the apartment was mainly filled, and
that he was as nearly as possible at her own level in age, as wide
in sympathies, and possibly more inflammable in heart. But
he soon found that a sort of fear to entrust her voice with the
subject of that link between them was what restrained her.
When he had explained a few details of routine she moved away
from him round the school. ***
He turned and looked at her as she stood among the children.
To his eyes her beauty was indescribable. Before he had met
her he had scarcely believed that any woman in the world could
be so lovely. The clear, deep eyes, full of all tender expressions;
the fresh, subtly-curved cheek, changing its tones of red with
the fluctuation of each thought; the ripe tint of her delicate
mouth, and the indefinable line where lip met lip; the noble
bend of her neck, the wavy lengths of her dark brown hair, the
soft motions of her bosom when she breathed, the light fall of her
little feet, the elegant contrivances of her attire, all struck him
as something he had dreamed of and was not actually seeing.
Geraldine Allenville was, in truth, very beautiful; she was a
girl such as his eyes had never elsewhere beheld; and her
presence here before his face kept up a sharp struggle of sweet
and bitter within him. ***
He had thought at first that the flush on her face was caused
by the fresh air of the morning; but, as it quickly changed to
a lesser hue, it occurred to Mayne that it might after all have
arisen from shyness at meeting him after her narrow escape.
Be that as it might, their conversation, which at first consisted
of bald sentences, divided by wide intervals of time, became
more frequent, and at last continuous. He was painfully soon
convinced that her tongue would never have run so easily as it
did had it not been that she thought him a person on whom she
could vent her ideas without reflection or punctiliousness--a
thought, perhaps, expressed to herself by such words as, "I will
say what I like to him, for he is only our schoolmaster." ***
"And you have chosen to keep a school," she went on, with
a shade of mischievousness in her tone, looking at him as if she
thought that, had she been a man capable of saving people's
lives, she would have done something much better than teaching.
She was so young as to habitually think thus of other
person's ((e)) courses. ***
"No," he said, simply; "I don't choose to keep a school in the
sense you mean, choosing it from a host of pursuits, all equally
possible." ***
"How came you here, then?" ***
"I fear more by chance than by aim." ***
"Then you are not very ambitious?" ***
"I have my ambitions, such as they are." ***
"I thought so. Everybody has nowadays. But it is a better
thing not to be too ambitious, |I think." ***
"If we value ease of mind, and take an economist's view of
our term of life, it may be a better thing." ***
Having been tempted, by his unexpectedly cultivated manner
of speaking, to say more than she had meant to say, she found
it embarrassing either to break off or to say more, and in her
doubt she stooped to kiss a little girl. ***
"Although I spoke lightly of ambition," she observed, without
turning to him, "and said that easy happiness was worth most, I
could defend ambition very well, and in the only pleasant way." ***
"And that way?" ***
"On the broad ground of the loveliness of any dream about
future triumphs. In looking back there is a pleasure in contemplating
a time when some attractive thing of the future
appeared possible, even though it never came to pass." ***
Mayne was puzzled to hear her talk in this tone of maturity.
That such questions of success and failure should have occupied
his own mind seemed natural, for they had been forced upon
him by the difficulties he had encountered in his pursuit of a
career. He was not just then aware how very unpractical the
knowledge of this sage lady of seventeen really was; that it was
merely caught up by intercommunication with people of culture
and experience, who talked before her of their theories and
beliefs till she insensibly acquired their tongue. ***
The carriage was heard coming up the road. Mayne gave
her the list of the children, their ages, and other particulars
which she had called for, and she turned to go out. Not a word
had been said about the incident by the threshing-machine,
though each one could see that it was constantly in the other's
thoughts. The roll of the wheels may or may not have reminded
her of her position in relation to him. She said, bowing, and
in a somewhat more distant tone: "We shall all be glad to learn
that our schoolmaster is so--nice; such a philosopher." But,
rather surprised at her own cruelty in uttering the latter words,
she added one of the sweetest laughs that ever came from lips,
and said, in gentlest tones, "Good morning; I shall |always
remember what you did for me. Oh! it makes me sick to think
of that moment. I came on purpose to thank you again, but
I could not say it till now!" ***
Mayne's heart, which had felt the rebuff, came round to her
with a rush; he could have almost forgiven her for physically
wounding him if she had asked him in such a tone not to notice
it. He watched her out of sight, thinking in rather a melancholy
mood how time would absorb all her beauty, as the growing
distance between them absorbed her form. He then went in,
and endeavoured to recall every word that he had said to her,
troubling and racking his mind to the utmost of his ability
about his imagined faults of manner. He remembered that he
had used the indicative mood instead of the proper subjective ((e))
in a certain phrase. He had given her to understand that an
old idea he had made use of was his own, and so on through
other particulars, each of which was an item of misery. ***
The place and the manner of her sitting were defined by the
position of her chair, and by the books, maps, and prints scattered
round it. Her "I shall always remember," he repeated to
himself, aye, a hundred times; and though he knew the plain
import of the words, he could not help toying with them, looking
at them from all points, and investing them with {extra-ordinary
meanings. ***
((CHAPTER III.))
But what is this? I turn about
And find a trouble in thine eye. ***
EGBERT MAYNE, though at present filling the office of village
schoolmaster, had been intended for a less narrow path. His
position at this time was entirely owing to the death of his
father in embarrassed circumstances two years before. Mr.
Mayne had been a landscape and animal painter, and had settled
in the village in early manhood, where he set about improving
his prospects by marrying a small farmer's daughter. The son
had been sent away from home at an early age to a good school,
and had returned at seventeen to enter upon some professional
life or other. But his father's health was at this time declining,
and when the painter died, a year and a half later, nothing had
been done for Egbert. He was now living with his maternal
grandfather, Richard Broadford, the farmer, who was a tenant
of Squire Allenville's. Egbert's ideas did not incline to painting,
but he had ambitious notions of adopting a literary profession,
or entering the Church, or doing something congenial to his
tastes whenever he could set about it. But first it was necessary
to read, mark, learn, and look around him; and, a master
being temporarily required for the school until such time as it
should be placed under Government inspection, he stepped in
and made use of the occupation as a stop-gap for a while. ***
He lived in his grandfather's farmhouse, walking backwards
and forwards to the school every day, in order that the old man,
who would otherwise be living quite alone, might have the
benefit of his society during the long winter evenings. Egbert
was much attached to his grandfather, and so, indeed, were all
who knew him. The old farmer's amiable disposition and kindliness
of heart, while they had hindered him from enriching
himself one shilling during the course of a long and laborious
life, had also kept him clear of every arrow of antagonism. The
house in which he lived was the same that he had been born in,
and was almost a part of himself. It had been built by his
father's father; but on the dropping of the lives for which it was
held, some twenty years earlier, it had lapsed to the Squire. ***
Richard Broadford was not, however, dispossessed: after his
father's death the family had continued as before in the house
and farm, but as yearly tenants. It was much to Broadford's
delight, for his pain at the thought of parting from those old
sticks and stones of his ancestors, before it had been known if
the tenure could be continued, was real and great. ***
On the evening of the day on which Miss Allenville called
at the school Egbert returned to the farmhouse as usual. He
found his grandfather sitting with his hands on his knees, and
showing by his countenance that something had happened to
disturb him greatly. Egbert looked at him inquiringly, and
with some misgiving. ***
"I have got to go at last, Egbert," he said, in a tone intended
to be stoical, but far from it. "He is my enemy after all." ***
"Who?" said Mayne. ***
"The Squire. He's going to take seventy acres of neighbour
Greenman's farm to enlarge the park; and Greenman's acreage
is to be made up to him, and more, by throwing my farm in
with his. Yes, that's what the Squire is going to have done.
. . . Well, I thought to have died here; but 'tisn't to be." ***
He looked as helpless as a child, for age had weakened him.
Egbert endeavoured to cheer him a little, and vexed as the
young man was, he thought there might yet be some means of
tiding over this difficulty. "Mr. Allenville wants seventy acres
more in his park, does he?" he echoed mechanically. "Why
can't it be taken entirely out of Greenman's farm? His is
big enough, Heaven knows; and your hundred acres might be
left you in peace." ***
"Well mayest say so! Oh, it is because he is tired of seeing
old-fashioned farming like mine. He likes the young generation's
system best, I suppose." ***
"If I had only known this this afternoon," Egbert said. ***
"You could have done nothing." ***
"Perhaps not." Egbert was, however, thinking that he would
have mentioned the matter to his visitor, and told her such circumstances
as would have enlisted her sympathies in the case. ***
"I thought it would come to this," said old Richard, vehemently.
"The present Squire Allenville has never been any real
friend to me. It was only through his wife that I have stayed
here so long. If it hadn't been for her, we should have gone
the very year that my poor father died, and the house fell into
hand. I wish we had now. You see, now she's dead, there's
nobody to counteract him in his schemes; and so I am to be
swept away." ***
They talked on thus, and by bed-time the old man was in
better spirits. But the subject did not cease to occupy Egbert's
mind, and that anxiously. Were the house and farm which his
grandfather had occupied so long to be taken away, Egbert
knew it would affect his life to a degree out of all proportion
to the seriousness of the event. The transplanting of old
people is like the transplanting of old trees; a twelvemonth
usually sees them wither and die away. ***
The next day proved that his anticipations were likely to be
correct, his grandfather being so disturbed that he could scarcely
eat or drink. The remainder of the week passed in just the
same way. Nothing now occupied Egbert's mind but a longing
to see Miss Allenville. To see her would be bliss; to ask her
if anything could be done by which his grandfather might
retain the farm and premises would be nothing but duty. His
hope of good results from the course was based on the knowledge
that Allenville, cold and hard as he was, had some considerable
affection for or pride in his daughter, and that thus
she might influence him. ***
It was not likely that she would call at the school for a week
or two at least, and Mayne therefore tried to meet with her
elsewhere. One morning early he was returning from the remote
hamlet of Hawksgate, on the further side of the parish,
and the nearest way to the school was across the park. He read
as he walked, as was customary with him, though at present
his thoughts wandered incessantly. The path took him through
a shrubbery running close up to a remote wing of the mansion.
Nobody seemed to be stirring in that quarter, till, turning an
angle, he saw Geraldine's own graceful figure close at hand,
robed in fur, and standing at ease outside an open French casement. ***
She was startled by his sudden appearance, but her face
soon betrayed a sympathetic remembrance of him. Egbert
scarcely knew whether to stop or to walk on, when, casting her
eyes upon his book, she said, "Don't let me interrupt your
reading." ***
"I am glad to have--" he stammered, and for the moment
could get no farther. His nervousness encouraged her to continue.
"What are you reading?" she said. ***
The book was, as may possibly be supposed by those who
know the mood inspired by hopeless attachments, "Childe
Harold's Pilgrimage," a poem which at that date had never been
surpassed in congeniality to the minds of young persons in the
full fever of virulent love. He was rather reluctant to let her
know this; but as the inquiry afforded him an opening for conversation
he held out the book, and her eye glanced over the page. ***
"Oh, thank you," she said hastily, "I ought not to have asked
that--only I am interested always in books. Is your {grand-father
quite well, Mr. Mayne? I saw him yesterday, and thought
he seemed to be not in such good health as usual." ***
"His mind is disturbed," said Egbert. ***
"Indeed, why is that?" ***
"It is on account of his having to leave the farm. He is
old, and was born in that house." ***
"Ah, yes, I have heard something of that," she said with a
slightly regretful look. "Mr. Allenville has decided to enlarge
the park. Born in the house was he?" ***
"Yes. His father ((e)) built it. May I ask your opinion on the
point, Miss Allenville? Don't you think it would be possible
to enlarge the park without taking my grandfather's farm?
Greenman has already five hundred acres." ***
She was perplexed how to reply, and evading the question
said, "Your grandfather much wishes to stay?" ***
"He does, intensely--more than you can believe or think.
But he will not ask to be let remain. I dread the effect of
leaving upon him. If it were possible to contrive that he
should not be turned out I should be grateful indeed." ***
"I--I will do all I can that things may remain as they are,"
she said with a deepened colour. "In fact, I am almost certain
that he will not have to go, since it is so painful to him," she
added in the sanguine tones of a child. "My father could not
have known that his mind was so bent on staying." ***
Here the conversation ended, and Egbert went on with a
lightened heart. Whether his pleasure arose entirely from
having done his grandfather a good turn, or from the mere
sensation of having been near her, he himself could hardly have determined. ***
((CHAPTER IV.))
Oh, for my sake, do you with fortune chide,
The guilty goddess of my harmful deed
That did not better for my life provide. ***
NOW commenced a period during which Egbert Mayne's emotions
burnt in a more unreasoning and wilder worship than at
any other time in his life. The great condition of idealisation
in love was present here, that of an association in which, through
difference in rank, the petty human elements that enter so
largely into life are kept entirely out of sight, and there is
hardly awakened in the man's mind a thought that they appertain
to her at all. ***
He deviated frequently from his daily track to the spot
where the last meeting had been, till, on the fourth morning
after, he saw her there again; but she let him pass that time
with a bare recognition. Two days later the carriage drove
down the lane to the village as he was walking away. When
they met she told the coachman to stop. ***
"I am glad to tell you that your grandfather may be perfectly
easy about the house and farm," she said; as if she took
unfeigned pleasure in saying it. "The question of altering the
park is postponed indefinitely. I have resisted it: I could do
no less for one who did so much for me." ***
"Thank you very warmly," said Egbert so earnestly, that she
blushed crimson as the carriage rolled away. ***
The spring drew on, and he saw and spoke with her several
times. In truth he walked abroad much more than had been
usual with him formerly, searching in all directions for her form.
Had she not been unreflecting and impressionable--had not her
life dragged on as uneventfully as that of one in gaol, through
her residing in a great house with no companion but an undemonstrative
father; and, above all, had not Egbert been a
singularly engaging young man of that distracting order of
beauty which grows upon the feminine gazer with every glance,
this tender waylaying would have made little difference to {any-body.
But such was not the case. In return for Egbert's presence
of mind at the threshing she had done him a kindness,
and the pleasure that she took in the act shed an added interest
upon the object of it. Thus, on both sides it had happened
that a deed of solicitude casually performed gave each doer a
sense of proprietorship in its recipient, and a wish still further
to establish that position by other deeds of the same sort. ***
To still further kindle Geraldine's indiscreet interest in him,
Egbert's devotion became perceptible ere long even to her inexperienced
eyes; and it was like a new world to the young girl.
At first she was almost frightened at the novelty of the thing.
Then the fascination of the discovery caused her ready, receptive
heart to palpitate in an ungovernable manner whenever he came
near her. She was not quite in love herself, but she was so
moved by the circumstance of her deliverer being in love, that
she could think of nothing else. His appearing at odd places
startled her; and yet she rather liked that kind of startling.
Too often her eyes rested on his face; too often her thoughts
surrounded his figure and dwelt on his conversation. ***
One day, when they met on a bridge, they did not part till
after a long and interesting conversation on books, in which
many opinions of Mayne's (crude and unformed enough, it
must be owned) that happened to take her fancy, set her glowing
with ardour to unfold her own. ***
After any such meeting as this, Egbert would go home and
think for hours of her little remarks and movements. The day
and minute of every accidental rencounter became registered in
his mind with the indelibility of ink. Years afterwards he
could recall at a moment's notice that he saw her at eleven
o'clock on the third of April, a Sunday; at four on Tuesday,
the twelfth; at a quarter to six on Thursday, the twenty-eighth;
that on the ninth it rained at a quarter past two, when she was
walking up the avenue; that on the seventeenth the grass was
rather too wet for a lady's feet; and other calendrical and
meteorological facts of no value whatever either to science or
history. ***
On a Tuesday evening, when they had had several conversations
out of doors, and when a passionate liking for his society
was creeping over the reckless though pure girl, slowly, insidiously,
and surely, like ripeness over fruit, she further committed
herself by coming alone to the school. A heavy rain
had threatened to fall all the afternoon, and just as she entered
it began. School hours were at that moment over, but he
waited a few moments before dismissing the children, to see if
the storm would clear up. After looking round at the classes,
and making sundry inquiries of the little ones in the usual
manner of ladies who patronise a school, she came up to him. ***
"I listened outside before I came in. It was a great pleasure
to hear the voices--three classes reading at three paces." She
continued with a laugh: "There was a rough treble voice
bowling easily along, an ambling sweet voice earnest about fishes
in the sea, and a shrill voice spelling out letter by letter. Then
there was a shuffling of feet--then you sang. It seemed quite
a little poem." ***
"Yes," Egbert said. "But perhaps, like many poems, it was
hard prose to the originators." ***
She remained thinking, and Mayne looked out at the weather.
Judging from the sky and wind that there was no likelihood of
a change that night, he proceeded to let the children go. Miss
Allenville assisted in wrapping up as many of them as possible
in the old coats and other apparel which Egbert kept by him
for the purpose. But she touched both clothes and children
rather gingerly, and as if she did not much like the contact. ***
Egbert's sentiments towards her that evening were vehement
and curious. Much as he loved her, his liking for the peasantry
about him--his mother's ancestry--caused him sometimes a
twinge of self-reproach for thinking of her so exclusively,
and nearly forgetting all his old acquaintance, neighbours, and
his grandfather's familiar friends, with their rough but honest
ways. To further complicate his feelings to-night there was
the sight, on the one hand, of the young lady with her warm
rich dress and glowing future, and on the other of the weak little
boys and girls--some only five years old, and none more than
twelve, going off in their different directions in the pelting
rain, some for a walk of more than two miles, with the certainty
of being drenched to the skin, and with no change of clothes
when they reached their home. He watched the rain spots
thickening upon the faded frocks, worn-out tippets, yellow straw
hats and bonnets, and coarse pinafores of his unprotected little
flock as they walked down the path, and was thereby reminded
of the hopelessness of his attachment, by perceiving how much
more nearly akin was his lot to theirs than to hers. ***
Miss Allenville, too, was looking at the children, and unfortunately
she chanced to say, as they toddled off, "Poor
little wretches!" ***
A sort of despairing irritation at her remoteness from his
plane, as implied by her pitying the children so unmercifully,
impelled him to remark, "Say poor little |children, madam." ***
She was silent--awkwardly silent. ***
"I suppose I must walk home," she said, when about half a
minute had passed. "Nobody knows where I am, and the carriage
may not find me for hours." ***
"I'll go for the carriage," said Egbert readily. ***
But he did not move. While she had been speaking, there
had grown up in him a conviction that these opportunities of
seeing her would soon necessarily cease. She would get older,
and would perceive the incorrectness of being on intimate terms
with him merely because he had snatched her from danger.
He would have to engage in a more active career, and go away.
Such ideas brought on an irresistible climax to an intense and
long-felt desire. He had just reached that point in the action
of passion upon mind at which it masters judgment. ***
It was almost dark in the room, by reason of the heavy
clouds and the nearness of the night. But the fire had just
flamed up brightly in the grate, and it threw her face and form
into ruddy relief against the grey wall behind. ***
Suddenly rushing towards her, he seized her hand before she
comprehended his intention, kissed it tenderly, and clasped her
in his arms. Her soft body yielded like wool under his embrace.
As suddenly releasing her he turned, and went back to the other
end of the room. ***
Egbert's feeling as he retired was that he had committed a
crime. The madness of the action was apparent to him almost
before it was completed. There seemed not a single thing left
for him to do, but to go into life-long banishment for such
sacrilege. He faced round and regarded her. Her features
were not visible enough to judge of their expression. All that
he could discern through the dimness and his own agitation
was that for some time she remained quite motionless. Her
state was probably one of suspension; as with Ulysses before
Melanthus, she may have--
Entertained a breast
That in the strife of all extremes did rest. ***
In one, two, or five minutes--neither of them ever knew
exactly how long--apparently without the motion of a limb, she
glided noiselessly to the door and vanished. ***
Egbert leant himself against the wall, almost distracted.
He could see absolutely no limit to the harm that he had done
by his wild and unreasoning folly. "Am I a man to thus {ill-treat
the loveliest girl that ever was born? Sweet injured
creature--how she will hate me!" These were some of the
expressions that he murmured in the twilight of that lonely
room. ***
Then he said that she certainly had encouraged him, which,
unfortunately for her, was only too true. She had seen that
he was always in search of her, and she did not put herself out
of his way. He was sure that she liked him to admire her.
"Yet, no," he murmured, "I will not excuse myself at all." ***
The night passed away miserably. One conviction by degrees
overruled all the rest in his mind--that if she knew precisely
how pure had been his longing towards her, she could not think
badly of him. His reflections resulted in a resolve to get an
interview with her, and make his defence and explanation in
full. The decision come to, his impatience could scarcely preserve
him from rushing to Tollamore House that very daybreak,
and trying to get into her presence, though it was the likeliest
of suppositions that she would never see him. ***
Every spare minute of the following days he hovered round
the house, in hope of getting a glimpse of her; but not once
did she make herself visible. He delayed taking the extreme
step of calling, till the hour came when he could delay no
longer. On a certain day he rang the bell with a mild air, and
disguised his feelings by looking as if he wished to speak to her
merely on copy-books, slates, and other school matters, the
school being professedly her hobby. He was told that Miss
Allenville had gone on a visit to some relatives thirty-five miles
off, and that she would probably not return for a month. ***
As there was no help for it, Egbert settled down to wait as
he best could, not without many misgivings lest his rash action,
which a prompt explanation might have toned down and excused,
would now be the cause of a total estrangement between them,
so that nothing would restore him to the place he had formerly
held in her estimation. That she had ever seriously loved him
he did not hope or dream; but it was intense pain to him to be
out of her favour.
((CHAPTER V.))
So I soberly laid my last plan
To extinguish the man,
Round his creep-hole, with never a break
Ran my fires for his sake;
Over head did my thunder combine
With my underground mine:
Till I looked from my labour content
To enjoy the event.
When sudden--how think ye the end? ***
A WEEK after the crisis mentioned above, it was secretly whispered
to Egbert's grandfather that the park enlargement scheme
was after all to be proceeded with; that Miss Allenville was
extremely anxious to have it put in hand as soon as possible.
Farmer Broadford's farm was to be added to Greenman's, as
originally intended, and the old house that Broadford lived in
was to be pulled down as an encumbrance. ***
"It is she this time!" murmured Egbert, gloomily. "Then I
did offend her, and mortify her; and she is resentful." ***
The excitement of his grandfather again caused him much
alarm, and even remorse. Such was the responsiveness of the
farmer's physical to his mental state that in the course of a week
his usual health failed, and his gloominess of mind was followed
by dimness of sight and giddiness. By much persuasion Egbert
induced him to stay at home for a day or two; but indoors he
was the most restless of creatures, through not being able to
engage in the pursuits to which he had been accustomed from
his boyhood. He walked up and down, looking wistfully out of
the window, shifting the positions of books and chairs, and
putting them back again, opening his desk and shutting it after
a vacant look at the papers, saying he should never get settled
in another farm at his time of life, and evincing all the symptoms
of nervousness and excitability. ***
Meanwhile Egbert anxiously awaited Miss Allenville's return,
more resolved than ever to obtain audience of her, and beg her
not to visit upon an unoffending old man the consequences of
a young one's folly. Any retaliation upon himself he would
accept willingly, and own to be well deserved. ***
At length, by making off-hand inquiries (for he dared not ask
directly for her again) he learnt that she was to be at home on
the Thursday. The following Friday and Saturday he kept a
sharp look-out; and, when lingering in the park for at least the
tenth time in that half-week, a sudden rise in the ground
revealed her coming along the path. ***
Egbert stayed his advance, in order that, if she really
objected to see him, she might easily strike off into a side path
or turn back. ***
She did not accept the alternatives, but came straight on to
where he lingered, averting her face waywardly as she approached.
When she was within a few steps of him he could see that the
trimmings of her dress trembled like leaves. He cleared his
dry throat to speak. ***
"Miss Allenville," he said, humbly taking off his hat, "I
should be glad to say one word to you, if I may." ***
She looked at him for just one moment, but said nothing;
and he could see that the expression of her face was flushed, and
her mood skittish. The place they were standing in was a remote
nook, hidden by the trunks and boughs, so that he could
afford to give her plenty of time, for there was no fear of their
being observed or overheard. Indeed, knowing that she often
walked that way, Egbert had previously surveyed the spot and
thought it suitable for the occasion, much as Wellington antecedently
surveyed the field of Waterloo. ***
Here the young man began his pleading speech to her. He
dilated upon his sensations when first he saw her; and as he
became warmed by his oratory he spoke of all his inmost
perturbations on her account without the slightest reserve.
He related with much natural eloquence how he had tried over
and over again not to love her, and how he had loved her in
spite of that trying; of his intention never to reveal his passion,
till their situation on that rainy evening prompted the impulse
which ended in that irreverent action of his; and earnestly
asked her to forgive him--not for his feelings, since they were
his own to commend or blame--but for the way in which he
testified of them to one so cultivated and so beautiful. ***
Egbert was flushed and excited by the time that he reached
this point in his tale. ***
Her eyes were fixed on the grass; and then a tear stole quietly
from its corner, and wandered down her cheek. She tried to say
something, but her usually adroit tongue was unequal to the
task. Ultimately she glanced at him, and murmured, "I forgive
you;" but so inaudibly, that he only recognised the words by
their shape upon her lips. ***
She looked not much more than a child now, and Egbert
thought with sadness that her tear and her words were perhaps
but the result, the one of a transitory sympathy, the other of a
desire to escape. They stood silent for some seconds, and the
dressing-bell of the house began ringing. Turning slowly away
without another word she hastened out of his sight. ***
When Egbert reached home some of his grandfather's old
friends were gathered there, sympathising with him on the removal
he would have to submit to if report spoke truly. Their sympathy
was rather more for him to bear than their indifference; and as
Egbert looked at the old man's bent figure, and at the expression
of his face, denoting a wish to sink under the earth, out of sight
and out of trouble, he was greatly depressed, and he said inwardly,
"What a fool I was to ask forgiveness of a woman who
can torture my only relative like this! Why do I feel her to be
glorious? Oh that I had never seen her!" ***
The next day was Sunday, and his grandfather being too unwell
to go out, Egbert went to the evening service alone. When
it was over, the rector detained him in the churchyard to say a
few words about the next week's undertakings. This was soon
done, and Egbert turned back to leave the now empty {church-yard.
Passing the porch he saw Miss Allenville coming out of the door. ***
Egbert said nothing, for he knew not what to say; but she
spoke. "Ah, Mr. Mayne, how beautiful the west sky looks! It
is the finest sunset we have had this spring." ***
"It is very beautiful," he replied, without looking westward
a single degree. "Miss Allenville," he said reproachfully, "you
might just have thought whether, for the sake of reaching one
guilty person, it was worth while to deeply wound an old man." ***
"I do not allow you to say that," she answered with proud
quickness. "Still, I will listen just this once." ***
"Are you glad you asserted your superiority to me by putting
in motion again that scheme for turning him out?" ***
"I merely left off hindering it," she said. ***
"Well, we shall go now," continued Egbert, "and make room
for newer people. I hope you forgive what caused it all." ***
"You talk in that strain to make me feel regrets; and you
think that because you are read in a few books you may say or
do anything." ***
"No, no. That's unfair." ***
"I will try to alter it--that your grandfather may not leave.
Say that you forgive me for thinking he and yourself had better
leave--as I forgive you for what you did. But remember,
nothing of that sort ever again." ***
"Forgive you? Oh, Miss Allenville!" said he in a wild
whisper, "I wish you had sinned a hundred times as much, that
I might show how readily I can forgive all." ***
She had looked as if she would have held out her hand; but,
for some reason or other, directly he had spoken with emotion it
was not so well for him as when he had spoken to wound her.
She passed on silently, and entered the private gate to the house. ***
A day or two after this, about three o'clock in the afternoon,
and whilst Egbert was giving a lesson in geography, a lad burst
into the school with the tidings that Farmer Broadford had fallen
from a corn-stack they were threshing, and hurt himself severely. ***
The boy had borrowed a horse to come with, and Mayne at
once made him gallop off with it for a doctor. Dismissing
the children, the young man ran home full of forebodings. He
found his relative in a chair, held up by two of his {labouring-men.
He was put to bed, and seeing how pale he was, Egbert
gave him a little wine, and bathed the parts which had been
bruised by the fall. ***
Egbert had at first been the more troubled at the event
through believing that his grandfather's fall was the result of
his low spirits and mental uneasiness; and he blamed himself
for letting so infirm a man go out upon the farm till quite
recovered. But it turned out that the actual cause of the
accident was the breaking of the ladder that he had been
standing on. When the surgeon had seen him he said that the
external bruises were mere trifles; but that the shock had been
great, and had produced internal injuries highly dangerous to a
man in that stage of life. ***
His grandson was of opinion in later years that the fall only
hastened by a few months a dissolution which would soon have
taken place under any circumstances, from the natural decay of
the old man's constitution. His pulse grew feeble and his voice
weak, but he continued in a comparatively firm state of mind
for some days, during which he talked to Egbert a great deal. ***
Egbert trusted that the illness would soon pass away; his
anxiety for his grandfather was great. When he was gone not
one of the family would be left but himself. But in spite of
hope the younger man perceived that death was really at hand.
And now arose a question. It was certainly a time to make
confidences, if they were ever to be made; should he, then, tell
his grandfather, who knew the Allenvilles so well, of his love for
Geraldine? At one moment it seemed duty; at another it
seemed a graceful act, to say the least. ***
Yet Egbert might never have uttered a word but for a remark
of his grandfather's which led up to the very point. He
was speaking of the farm and of the Squire, and thence he
went on to the daughter. ***
"She, too," he said, "seems to have that reckless spirit which
was in her mother's family, and ruined her mother's father at
the gaming table, though she's too young to show much of it yet." ***
"I hope not," said Egbert fervently. ***
"Why? What be the Allenvilles to you--not that I wish
the girl harm?" ***
"I think she is the very best being in the world. I--love
her deeply." ***
His grandfather's eyes were set on the wall. "Well, well,
my poor boy," came softly from his mouth. "What made ye
think of loving her? Ye may as well love a mountain, for any
return you'll ever get. Do she know of it?" ***
"She guesses it. It was my saving her from the {threshing-machine
that began it." ***
"And she checks you?" ***
"Well--no." ***
"Egbert," he said after a silence, "I am grieved, for it can
but end in pain. Mind, she's an inexperienced girl. She never
thinks of what trouble she may get herself into with her father
and with her friends. And mind this, my lad, as another reason
for dropping it; however honourable your love may be, you'll
never get credit for your honour. Nothing you can do will ever
root out the notion of people that where the man is poor and the
woman is high-born he's a scamp and she's an angel. ((e)) ***
"She's very good." ***
"She's thoughtless, or she'd never encourage you. You must
try not to see her." ***
"I will never put myself in her way again." ***
The subject was mentioned no more then. The next day the
worn-out old farmer died, and his last request to Egbert was
that he would do nothing to tempt Geraldine Allenville to think
of him further. ***
((CHAPTER VI.))
Hath misery made thee blind
To the fond workings of a woman's mind?
And must I say--albeit my heart rebel
With all that woman feels but should not tell;
Because, despite thy faults, that heart is moved--
It feared thee, thank'd thee, pitied, madden'd, loved? ***
IT was in the evening of the day after Farmer Broadford's
death that Egbert first sat down in the house alone. The {bandy-legged
little man who had acted as his grandfather's groom of
the chambers and stables simultaneously had gone into the
village. The candles were not yet lighted, and Mayne abstractedly
watched upon the pale wall the latter rays of sunset slowly
changing into the white shine of a moon a few days old. The
ancient family clock had stopped for want of winding, and the
intense silence that prevailed seemed more like the bodily
presence of some quality than the mere absence of sound. ***
He was thinking how many were the indifferent expressions
which he had used towards the poor body lying cold upstairs--the
only relation he had latterly had upon earth--which might
as well have been left unsaid; of how far he had been from
practically attempting to do what in theory he called best--to
make the most of every pulse of natural affection; that he had
never heeded or particularly inquired the meaning of the
different pieces of advice which the kind old man had tendered
from time to time; that he had never even thought of asking
for any details of his grandfather's history. ***
His musings turned upon Geraldine. He had promised to
seek her no more, and he would keep his promise. Her interest
in him might only be that of an exceedingly romantic and
freakish soul, awakened but through "lack of other idleness," and
because sound sense suggested to her that it was a thing dangerous
to do; for it seemed that she was ever and only moved
by the superior of two antagonistic forces. She had as yet
seen little or no society, she was only seventeen; and hence it
was possible that a week of the town and fashion into which
she would soon be initiated might blot out his very existence
from her memory. ***
He was sitting with his back to the window, meditating in
this minor key, when a shadow darkened the opposite moonlit
wall. Egbert started. There was a gentle tap at the door;
and he opened it to behold the well-known form of the lady in
his mind. ***
"Mr. Mayne, are you alone?" she whispered, full of agitation. ***
"Quite alone, excepting my poor grandfather's body upstairs,"
he answered, as agitated as she. ***
Then out it all came. "I couldn't help coming--I hope--oh,
I do so pray--that it was not through me that he died. Was it I,
indeed, who killed him? They say it was the effect of the news
that he was to leave the farm. I would have done anything to
hinder his being turned out had I only reflected! And now he
is dead. It was so cruel to an old man like him; and now you
have nobody in the world to care for you, have you, Egbert--except me?" ***
The ice was wholly broken. He took her hand in both his
own and began to assure her that her alarm was grounded on
nothing whatever. And yet he was almost reluctant to assure
her out of so sweet a state. And when he had said over and
over again that his grandfather's fall had nothing to do with
his mental condition, that the utmost result of her hasty proceeding
was a sadness of spirit in him, she still persisted, as is
the custom of women, in holding to that most painful possibility
as the most likely, simply because it wounded her most. It was
a long while before she would be convinced of her own innocence,
but he maintained it firmly, and she finally believed. ***
They sat down together, restraint having quite died out
between them. The fine-lady portion of her existence, of which
there was never much, was in abeyance, and they spoke and
acted simply as a young man and woman who were beset by
common troubles, and who had like hopes and fears. ***
"And you will never blame me again for what I did?" said Egbert. ***
"I never blamed you much," she murmured with arch simplicity.
"Why should it be wrong for me to be honest with you
now, and tell everything you want to know?" ***
Mayne was silent. That was a difficult question for a conscientious
man to answer. Here was he nearly twenty-one years
of age, and with some experience of life, while she was a girl
nursed up like an exotic, with no real experience, and but little
over seventeen--though from the fineness of her figure she
looked more womanly than she really was. It plainly had not
crossed her young mind that she was on the verge of committing
the most horrible social sin--that of loving beneath her, and
owning that she so loved. Two years thence she might see the
imprudence of her conduct, and blame him for having led her
on. Ought he not, then, considering his grandfather's words, to
say that it was wrong for her to be honest; that she should forget
him, and fix her mind on matters appertaining to her
order? He could not do it--he let her drift sweetly on. ***
"I think more of you than of anybody in the whole
world," he replied. "And you will allow me to, will you not?--let
me always keep you in my heart, and almost worship you?" ***
"That would be wrong. But you may think of me, if you
like to, very much; it will give me great pleasure. I don't
think my father thinks of me at all--or anybody, except you.
I said the other day I would never think of you again, but I
have done it, a good many times. It is all through being
obliged to care for somebody whether you will or no." ***
"And you will go on thinking of me?" ***
"I will do anything to--oblige you." ***
Egbert, on the impulse of the moment, bent over her and
raised her little hand to his lips. He reverenced her too much
to think of kissing her cheek. She knew this, and was thrilled
through with the delight of being adored as one from above the sky. ***
Up to this day of its existence their affection had been a
battle, a species of antagonism wherein his heart and the girl's
had faced each other, and being anxious to do honour to their
respective parts. But now it was a truce and a settlement, in
which each one took up the other's utmost weakness, and was
careless of concealing his and her own. ***
Surely, sitting there as they sat then, a more unreasoning
condition of mind as to how this unequal conjunction would end
never existed. They swam along through the passing moments,
not a thought of duty on either side, not a further thought on
his but that she was the dayspring of his life, that he would
die for her a hundred times; superadded to which was a shapeless
uneasiness that she would in some manner slip away from him.
The solemnity of the event that had just happened would have
shown up to him any ungenerous feeling in strong colours--and
he had reason afterwards to examine the epoch narrowly; but
it only seemed to demonstrate how instinctive and uncalculating
was the love that worked within him. ***
It was almost time for her to leave. She held up her watch
to the moonlight. Five minutes more she would stay; then
three minutes, and no longer. "Now I am going," she said.
"Do you forgive me entirely?" ***
"How shall I say 'Yes' without assuming that there was
something to forgive?" ***
"Say 'Yes.' It is sweeter to fancy I am forgiven than to
think I have not sinned." ***
With this she went to the door. Egbert accompanied her
through the wood, and across a portion of the park, till they
were about a hundred yards from the house, when he was forced
to bid her farewell. ***
The old man was buried on the following Sunday. During
several weeks afterwards Egbert's sole consolation under his loss
was in thinking of Geraldine, for they did not meet in private
again till some time had elapsed. The ultimate issue of this
absorption in her did not concern him at all: it seemed to be
in keeping with the system of his existence now that he should
have an utterly inscrutable to-morrow. ***
((CHAPTER VII.))
Come forward, some great marshal, and organise equality in society. ***
THE month of August came round, and Miss Allenville was to
lay the foundation-stone of a tower or beacon which her father
was about to erect on the highest hill of his estate, to the
memory of his brother, the General. It was arranged that the
school children should sing at the ceremony. Accordingly, at
the hour fixed, Egbert was on the spot; a crowd of villagers
had also arrived, and carriages were visible in the distance,
wending their way towards the scene. When they had drawn
up alongside and the visitors alighted, the master-mason appeared
nervous. ***
"Mr. Mayne," he said to Egbert, "you had better do what's to
be done for the lady. I shall speak too loud, or too soft, or
handle things wrong. Do you attend upon her, and I'll lower
the stone." ***
Several ladies and gentlemen now gathered round, and presently
Miss Allenville stood in position for her office, supported
on one side by her father, a hard-featured man of five-and-forty,
and some friends who were visiting at the house; and on the
other by the school children, who began singing a song in keeping
with the occasion. When this was done, Geraldine laid
down the sealed bottle with its enclosed memorandum, which
had been prepared for the purpose, and taking a trowel from
her father's hand, dabbled confusedly in the mortar, accidentally
smearing it over the handle of the trowel. ***
"Lower the stone," said Egbert, who stood close by, to the
mason at the winch; and the stone began to descend. ***
The dainty-handed young woman was looking as if she
would give anything to be relieved of the dirty trowel; but
Egbert, the only one who observed this, was guiding the stone
with both hands into its place, and could not receive the tool of
her. Every moment increased her perplexity. ***
"Take it, take it, will you?" she impatiently whispered to
him, blushing with a consciousness that people began to perceive
her awkward handling. ***
"I must just finish this first," he said. ***
She was resigned in an instant. The stone settled down
upon its base, when Egbert at once took the trowel, and her
father came up and wiped her glove. Egbert then handed her
the mallet. ***
"What must I do with this thing?" she whispered entreatingly,
holding the mallet as if it might bite her. ***
"Tap with it, madam," said he. ***
She did as directed, and murmured the form of words
which she had been told to repeat. ***
"Thank you," she said softly when all was done, restored to
herself by the consciousness that she had performed the last
part gracefully. Without lifting her eyes she added, "It was
thoughtful of you to remember that I shouldn't know, and to
stand by to tell me." ***
Her friends now moved away, but before she had joined
them Egbert said, chiefly for the pleasure of speaking to her:
"The tower, when it is built, will be seen many miles off." ***
"Yes," she replied in a discreet tone, for many eyes were upon
her. "The view is very extensive." She glanced round upon the
whole landscape stretched out before her, in the extreme distance
of which was visible the town of Westcombe. ***
"How long does it take to go to Westcombe across this way?"
she asked of him while they were bringing up the carriage. ***
"About two hours," he said. ***
"Two hours--so long as that, does it? How far is it away?" ***
"Eight miles." ***
"Two hours to drive eight miles--who ever heard of such a thing!" ***
"I thought you meant walking." ***
"Ah, yes; but one hardly means walking without expressly
stating it." ***
"Well, it seems just the other way to me--that walking is
meant unless you say driving." ***
That was the whole of their conversation. The remarks
had been simple and trivial, but they brought a similar thought
into the minds of both of them. On her part it spread a sudden
gloom over her face, and it made him feel dead at heart.
It was that horrid thought of their differing habits and of those
contrasting positions which could not be reconciled. ***
Indeed, this perception of their disparity weighed more and
more heavily upon him as the days went on. There was no
doubt about their being lovers, though scarcely recognised by
themselves as such; and, in spite of Geraldine's warm and unreflecting
impulses, a sense of how little Egbert was accustomed
to what is called society, and the polite forms which constant
usage had made almost nature with her, would rise on occasion,
and rob her of many an otherwise pleasant minute. When any
little occurrence had brought this into more prominence than
usual, Egbert would go away, wander about the lanes, and be
kept awake a great part of the night by the distress of mind
such a recognition brought upon him. How their intimacy
would end, in what uneasiness, yearning, and misery, he could
not guess. As for picturing a future of happiness with her by
his side there was not ground enough upon which to rest the
momentary imagination of it. Thus they mutually oppressed
each other even while they loved. ***
In addition to this anxiety was another; what would be
thought of their romance by her father, if he were to find it
out? It was impossible to tell him, for nothing could come of
that but Egbert's dismissal and Geraldine's seclusion; and how
could these be borne? ***
He looked round anxiously for some means of deliverance.
There were two things to be thought of, the saving of her dignity,
and the saving of his and her happiness. That to accomplish
the first he ought voluntarily to leave the village before
their attachment got known, and never seek her again, was what
he sometimes felt; but the idea brought such misery along with
it that it died out under contemplation. ***
He determined at all events to put the case clearly before
her, to heroically set forth at their next meeting the true bearings
of their position, which she plainly did not realise to the
full as yet. It had never entered her mind that the link
between them might be observed by the curious, and instantly
talked of. Yes, it was his duty to warn her, even though by so
doing he would be heaping coals of fire on his own head. For
by acting upon his hint she would be lost to him, and the charm
that lay in her false notions of the world be for ever destroyed. ***
That they would ultimately be found out, and Geraldine be
lowered in local estimation, was, indeed, almost inevitable.
There was one grain of satisfaction only among this mass of distresses.
Whatever should become public, only the fashionable
side of her character could be depreciated; the natural woman,
the specimen of English girlhood that he loved, no one could
impugn or harm. ***
Meetings had latterly taken place between them without any
pretence of accident, and these were facilitated in an amazing
manner by the duty imposed upon her of visiting the school as
the representative of her father. At her very next appearance
he told her all he thought. It was when the children had left
the room for the quarter of an hour's airing that he gave them
in the middle of the morning. ***
She was quite hurt at being treated with justice, and a crowd
of tears came into her sorrowful eyes. She had never thought
of half that he feared, and almost questioned his kindness in
enlightening her. ***
"Perhaps you are right," she murmured, with the merest
motion of lip. "Yes, it is sadly true. Should our conduct
become known, nobody will judge us fairly. 'She was a wild,
weak girl,' they will say." ***
"To care for such a man--a village youth. They will even
suppress the fact that his father was a painter of no mean power,
and a gentleman by education, little as it would redeem us; and
justify their doing so by reflecting that in adding to the contrast
they improve the tale:
And calumny meanwhile shall feed on us
As worms devour the dead: what we have done
None shall dare vouch, though it be truly known.
And they will continue, 'He was an artful fellow to win a girl's
affections in that way--one of the mere scum of the earth,'
they'll say." ***
"Don't, don't make it so bad!" she implored, weeping outright.
"They cannot go so far. Human nature is not so wicked and
blind. And they |dare not speak so disrespectfully of me, or of
any one I choose to favour." A slight haughtiness was apparent
in these words. "But, oh, don't let us talk of it--it makes the
time miserable." ***
However, she had been warned. But the difficulty which
presented itself to her mind was, after all, but a small portion of
the whole. It was how should they meet together without
causing a convulsion in neighbouring society. His was more
radical and complex. The only natural drift of love was towards
marriage. But how could he picture, at any length of
years ahead, her in a cottage as his wife, or himself in a mansion
as her husband? He in the one case, she in the other, were
alike painfully incredible. ***
But time had flown, and he conducted her to the door.
"Good-bye, Egbert," she said tenderly. ***
"Good-bye, dear, dear madam," he answered; and she was gone. ***
Geraldine had never hinted to him to call her by her
Christian name, and finding that she did not particularly wish
it he did not care to do so. "Madam" was as good a name as
any other for her, and by adhering to it and using it at the
warmest moments it seemed to change its nature from that of a
mere title to a soft pet sound. He often wondered in after days
at the strange condition of a girl's heart which could allow so
much in reality, and at the same time permit the existence of a
little barrier such as that; how the keen intelligent mind of
woman could be ever so slightly hoodwinked by a sound. Yet,
perhaps, it was womanlike, after all, and she may have caught at
it as the only straw within reach of that dignity or pride of
birth which was drowning in her impetuous affection. ***
((CHAPTER VIII.))
The world and its ways have a certain worth,
And to press a point while these oppose
Were a simple policy: best wait,
And we lose no friends, and gain no foes. ***
THE inborn necessity of ransacking the future for a germ of hope
led Egbert Mayne to dwell for longer and longer periods on the
at first rejected possibility of winning and having her. And
apart from any thought of marriage, he knew that Geraldine
was sometimes a trifle vexed that their experiences contained so
little in common--that he had never dressed for dinner, or made
use of a carriage in his life; even though in literature he was
her master, thanks to his tastes. ***
For the first time he seriously contemplated a visionary
scheme which had been several times cursorily glanced at; a
scheme almost as visionary as any ever entertained by a man not
yet blinded to the limits of the possible. Lighted on by impulse,
it was not taken up without long calculation, and it was
one in which every link was reasoned out as carefully and as
clearly as his powers would permit. But the idea that he
would be able to carry it through was an assumption which, had
he bestowed upon it one-hundredth part of the thought spent on
the details of its working, he would have thrown aside as unfeasible. ***
To give up the school, to go to London or elsewhere, and
there to try to rise to her level by years of sheer exertion, was
the substance of this scheme. However his lady's heart might
be grieved by his apparent desertion, he would go. A knowledge
of life and of men must be acquired, and that could never
be done by thinking at home. ***
Egbert's abstract love for the gigantic task was but small;
but there was absolutely no other honest road to her sphere.
That the habits of men should be so subversive of the law of
nature as to indicate that he was not worthy to marry a
woman whose own instincts said that he was worthy, was a
great anomaly, he thought, with some rebelliousness; but this
did not upset the fact or remove the difficulty. ***
He told his fair mistress at their next accidental meeting
(much sophistry lay in their definition of "accidental" at this
season) that he had determined to leave Tollamore. Mentally
she exulted at his spirit, but her heart despaired. He solemnly
assured her that it would be much better for them both in the
end; and she became submissive, and entirely agreed with him.
Then she seemed to acquire a sort of superior insight by virtue
of her superior rank, and murmured, "You will expand your mind,
and get to despise me for all this, and for my want of pride in
being so easily won; and it will end unhappily." ***
Her imagination so affected her that she could not hinder
the tears from falling. Nothing was more effective in checking
his despair than the sight of her despairing, and he immediately
put on a more hopeful tone. ***
"No," he said, taking her by the hand, "I shall rise, and become
so learned and so famous that--." He did not like to
say plainly that he really hoped to win her as his wife, but it
is very probable that she guessed his meaning nearly enough. ***
"You have some secret resources!" she exclaimed. "Some
help is promised you in this ambitious plan." ***
It was most painful to him to have to tell her the truth after
this sanguine expectation, and how uncertain and unaided his
plans were. However, he cheered her with the words, "Wait
and see." But he himself had many misgivings when her sweet
face was turned away. ***
Upon this plan he acted at once. Nothing of moment
occurred during the autumn, and the time for his departure
gradually came near. The sale of his grandfather's effects
having taken place, and notice having been given at the school,
there was very little else for him to do in the way of preparation,
for there was no family to be consulted, no household to be removed.
On the last day of teaching, when the afternoon lessons
were over, he bade farewell to the school children. The younger
ones cried, not from any particular reflection on the loss they
would sustain, but simply because their hearts were tender to
any announcement couched in solemn terms. The elder children
sincerely regretted Egbert, as an acquaintance who had not filled
the post of schoolmaster so long as to be quite spoilt as a human
being. ***
On the morning of departure he rose at half-past three, for
Tollamore was a remote nook of a remote district, and it was
necessary to start early, his plan being to go by packet from
Melport. The candle-flame had a sad and yellow look when it
was brought into his bedroom by Nathan Brown, one of his
grandfather's old labourers, at whose house he had taken a temporary
lodging, and who had agreed to awake him and assist
his departure. Few things will take away a man's confidence in
an impulsive scheme more than being called up by candlelight
upon a chilly morning to commence working it out. But when
Egbert heard Nathan's great feet stamping spiritedly about the
floor downstairs, in earnest preparation of breakfast, he {over-came
his weakness and bustled out of bed. ***
They breakfasted together, Nathan drinking the hot tea with
rattling sips, and Egbert thinking as he looked at him that
Nathan had never appeared so desirable a man to have about
him as now when he was about to give him up. ***
"Well, good mornen, Mistur Mayne," Nathan said, as he
opened the door to let Egbert out. "And mind this, sir; if they
use ye bad up there, th'lt always find a hole to put thy head
into at Nathan Brown's, I'll warrant as much." ***
Egbert stepped from the door, and struck across to the
manor-house. The morning was dark, and the raw wind made
him shiver till walking warmed him. "Good heavens, here's an
undertaking!" he sometimes thought. Old trees seemed to look
at him through the gloom, as they rocked uneasily to and fro;
and now and then a dreary drop of rain beat upon his face as he
went on. The dead leaves in the ditches, which could be heard
but not seen, shifted their positions with a troubled rustle, and
flew at intervals with a little rap against his walking-stick and
hat. He was glad to reach the north stile, and get into the
park, where, with an anxious pulse, he passed beneath the creaking
limes. ***
"Will she wake soon enough; will she be forgetful, and sleep
over the time?" He had asked himself this many times since he
rose that morning, and still beset by the inquiry, he drew near to
the mansion. ***
Her bedroom was in the north wing, facing towards the
church, and on turning the brow of the hill a faint light in the
window reassured him. Taking a few little stones from the
path he threw them upon the sill, as they had agreed, and she
instantly opened the window, and said softly, "The butler sleeps
on the ground floor on this side, go to the bow-window in the
shrubbery." ***
He went round among the bushes to the place mentioned,
which was entirely sheltered from the wind. She soon appeared,
bearing in her hand a wax taper, so small that it scarcely gave
more light than a glowworm. She wore the same dress that she
had worn when they first met on the previous Christmas, and
her hair was loose, as at that time. Indeed, she looked {through-out
much as she had looked then, except that her bright eyes
were red, as Egbert could see well enough. ***
"I have something for you," she said softly as she opened the
window. "How much time is there?" ***
"Half-an-hour only, dearest." ***
She began a sigh, but checked it, at the same time holding
out a packet to him. ***
"Here are fifty pounds," she whispered. "It will be useful to
you now, and more shall follow." ***
Egbert felt how impossible it was to accept this. "No, my
dear one," he said, "I cannot." ***
"I don't require it, Egbert. I wish you to have it; I have
plenty. Come, do take it." But seeing that he continued firm
on this point she reluctantly gave in, saying that she would
keep it for him. ***
"I fear so much that papa suspects me," she said. "And if
so, it was my own fault, and all owing to a conversation I
began with him without thinking beforehand that it would be
dangerous." ***
"What did you say?" ***
"I said," she whispered, 'Suppose ((e)) a man should love me very
much, would you mind my being acquainted with him if he
were a very worthy man?' 'That depends upon his rank and
circumstances,' he said. 'Suppose,' I said, 'that in addition
to his goodness he had much learning, and had made his name
famous in the world, but was not altogether rich?' I think I
showed too much earnestness, and I wished that I could have
recalled my words. 'When the time comes I will tell you,'
he said, 'and don't speak or think of these matters again.'" ***
In consequence of this new imprudence of hers Egbert
doubted if it would be right to correspond with her. He said
nothing about it then, but it added a new shade to the parting. ***
"I think your decision a good and noble one," she murmured,
smiling hopefully. "And you will come back some day a wondrous
man of the world, talking of vast Schemes, radical Errors,
and saying such words as the 'Backbone of Society,' the 'Tendency
of Modern Thought,' and other things like that. When
papa says to you, 'My Lord the Chancellor,' you will answer him
with 'A tall man, with a deep-toned voice--I know him well.'
When he says, 'Such and such were Lord Hatton's words, I think,'
you will answer, 'No, they were Lord Tyrrell's; I was present
on the occasion'; and so on in that way. You must get to talk
authoritatively about vintages and their dates, and to know all
about epicureanism, idleness, and fashion; and so you will beat
him with his own weapons, for he knows nothing of these
things. He will criticise you; then he will be nettled; then he
will admire you." ***
Egbert kissed her hand devotedly, and held it long. ***
"If you cannot in the least succeed," she added, "I shall
never think the less of you. The truly great stand on no
middling ledge; they are either famous or unknown." ***
Egbert moved slowly away amongst the laurestines. Holding
the light above her bright head she smiled upon him, as if it
were unknown to her that she wept at the same time. ***
He left the park precincts, and followed the turnpike road to
Melport. In spite of the misery of parting he felt relieved of
a certain oppressiveness, now that his presence at Tollamore
could no longer bring disgrace upon her. The threatening rain
passed off by the time that he reached the ridge dividing the inland
districts from the coast. It began to get light, but his journey
was still very lonely. Ultimately the yellow shore-line of pebbles
grew visible, and the distant horizon of water, spreading
like a grey upland against the sky, till he could soon hear the
measured flounce of the waves. ***
He entered the town at sunrise, just as the lamps were extinguished,
and went to a tavern to breakfast. At half-past
eight o'clock the boat steamed out of the harbour and reached
London after a passage of five-and-forty hours. ***
((PART II.))
((CHAPTER I.))
He, like a captain who beleaguers round
Some strong-built castle on a rising ground,
Views all the approaches with observing eyes;
This and that other part in vain he tries,
And more on industry than force relies. ***
SINCE Egbert Mayne's situation is not altogether a new and
unprecedented one, there will be no necessity for detailing in all
its minuteness his attempt to scale the steeps of Fame. For {not-withstanding
the fact that few, comparatively, have reached the
top, the lower tracts of that troublesome incline have been
trodden by as numerous a company as any allegorical spot in
the world. ***
The reader must then imagine five years to have elapsed,
during which rather formidable slice of human life Egbert had
been constantly striving. It had been drive, drive from month
to month; no rest, nothing but effort. He had progressed from
newspaper work to criticism, from criticism to independent composition
of a mild order, from the latter to the publication
of a book which nobody ever heard of, and from this to the production
of a work of really sterling merit, which appeared
anonymously. Though he did not set society in a blaze, or even
in a smoke, thereby, he certainly caused a good many people to
talk about him, and to be curious as to his name. ***
The luminousness of nature which had been sufficient to
attract the attention and heart of Geraldine Allenville had,
indeed, meant much. That there had been power enough in the
presence, speech, mind, and tone of the poor painter's son to
fascinate a girl of Geraldine's station was of itself a ground for
the presumption that he might do a work in the world if he
chose. The attachment to her was just the stimulus which such
a constitution as his required, and it had at first acted admirably
upon him. Afterwards the case was scarcely so happy. ***
He had investigated manners and customs no less than literature;
and for awhile the experience was exciting enough. But
several habits which he had at one time condemned in the
ambitious classes now became his own. His original fondness
for art, literature, and science was getting quenched by his
slowly increasing habit of looking upon each and all of these
as machinery wherewith to effect a purpose. ***
A new feeling began to animate all his studies. He had not
the old interest in them for their own sakes, but a breathless interest
in them as factors in the game of sink or swim. He entered
picture galleries, not, as formerly, because it was his humour to
dream pleasantly over the images therein expressed, but to be
able to talk on demand about painters and their peculiarities.
He examined Correggio to criticise his flesh shades; Angelico, to
speak technically of the pink faces of his saints; Murillo, to say
fastidiously that there was a certain silliness in the look of his
old men; Rubens for his sensuous women; Turner for his Turneresqueness.
Romney was greater than Reynolds because Lady
Hamilton had been his model, and thereby hung a tale.
Bonozzi Gozzoli was better worth study than Raffaelle, since
the former's name was a learned sound to utter, and all knowledge
got up about him would tell. ***
Whether an intense love for a woman, and that woman
Geraldine, was a justifiable reason for this desire to shine it is
not easy to say. ***
However, as has been stated, Egbert worked like a slave in
these causes, and at the end of five full years was repaid with
certain public applause, though, unfortunately, not with much
public money. But this he hoped might come soon. ***
Regarding his love for Geraldine, the most noteworthy fact
to be recorded of the period was that all correspondence with
her had ceased. In spite of their fear of her father, letters had
passed frequently between them on his first leaving home, and
had been continued with ardour for some considerable time.
The reason of its close will be perceived in the following note,
which he received from her two years before the date of the
present chapter:--
"Tollamore House.
"MY DEAR EGBERT,
"How shall I tell you what has happened! and yet how
can I keep silence when sooner or later you must know all? ***
"My father has discovered what we feel for each other. He
took me into his room and made me promise never to write to
you, or seek you, or receive a letter from you. I promised in
haste, for I was frightened and excited, and now he trusts me--I
wish he did not--for he knows I would not be mean enough
to lie. So don't write, poor Egbert, or expect to hear from miserable
me. We must try to hope; yet it is a long dreary thing to do.
But I |will hope, and not be beaten. How could I help
promising, Egbert, when he compelled me? He is my father.
I cannot think what we shall do under it all. It is cruel of life
to be like this towards us when we have done no wrong.
((* * * * * *)) ***
"We are going abroad for a long time. I think it is because of
you and me, but I don't know. He does not tell me where we
shall go. Just as if a place like Europe could make me forget
you. He doesn't know what's in me, and how I can think about
you and cry at nights--he cannot. If he did, he must see how
silly the plan is. ***
"Remember that you go to church on Sunday mornings, for
then I think that perhaps we are reading in the same place at the
same moment; and we are sometimes, no doubt. Last Sunday,
when we came to this in the Psalms, 'And he shall be like a tree
planted by the waterside that will bring forth his fruit in due
season: his leaf also shall not wither; and look, whatsoever he
doeth, it shall prosper,' I thought, 'That's Egbert in London.'
I know you were reading that same verse in your church--I felt
that you said it with us. Then I looked up to your old nook
under the tower arch. It was a misery to see the wood and the
stone just as good as ever, and you not there. It is not only
that you are gone at these times, but a heavy creature--blankness--seems
to stand in your place. ***
"But how can I tell you of these thoughts now that I am to
write no more? Yet we will hope, and hope. Remember
this, that should anything serious happen, I will break the bond
and write. Obligation would end then. Good-bye for a time.
I cannot put into words what I would finish with. Good-bye,
good-bye. "G. A. ***
"P.S. Might we not write just one line at very wide intervals?
It is too much never to write at all." ***
On receiving this letter Egbert felt that he could not honourably
keep up a regular correspondence with her. But a determination
to break it off would have been more than he could
have adhered to if he had not been strengthened by the hope
that he might soon be able to give a plausible reason for renewing
it. He sent her a line, bidding her to expect the best
results from the prohibition, which, he was sure, would not be
for long. Meanwhile, should she think it not wrong to send a
line at very wide intervals, he would promptly reply. ***
But she was apparently too conscientious to do so, for
nothing had reached him since. Yet she was as continually in
his thought and heart as before. He felt more misgivings than
he had chosen to tell her of on the ultimate effect of the prohibition,
but could do nothing to remove it. And then he had
learnt that Miss Allenville and her father had gone to Paris, as
the commencement of a sojourn abroad. ***
These circumstances had burdened him with long hours of
depression, till he had resolved to throw his whole strength into
a production which should either give him a fair start towards
fame, or make him clearly understand that there was no hope
in that direction for such as he. He had begun the attempt,
and ended it, and the consequences were fortunate to an unexpected
degree. ***
((CHAPTER II.))
Towards the loadstar of my one desire
I flitted like a dizzy moth, whose flight
Is as a dead leaf's in the owlet light. ***
MAYNE'S book having been launched into the world and well
received, he found time to emerge from the seclusion he had
maintained for several months, and to look into life again. ***
One warm, fashionable day, between five and six o'clock, he
was walking along Piccadilly, absent-minded and unobservant,
when an equipage approached whose appearance thrilled him
through. It was the Allenville landau, newly-painted up.
Egbert felt almost as if he had been going into battle; and
whether he should stand forth visibly before her or keep in the
background seemed a question of life or death. ***
He waited in unobserved retirement, which it was not difficult
to do, his aspect having much altered since the old times.
Coachman, footman, and carriage advanced, in graceful unity of
glide, like a swan. Then he beheld her, Geraldine, after two
years of silence, five years of waiting, and nearly three years of
separation; for although he had seen her two or three times in
town after he had taken up his residence there, they had not
once met since the year preceding her departure for the Continent. ***
She came opposite, now passively looking round, then
actively glancing at something which interested her. Egbert
trembled a little, or perhaps a great deal, at sight of her. But
she passed on, and the back of the carriage hid her from his view. ***
So much of the boy was left in him still that he could
scarcely withhold himself from rushing after her, and jumping
into the carriage. She had appeared to be well and blooming,
and an instinctive vexation that their long separation had produced
no perceptible effect upon her, speedily gave way before
a more generous sense of gratification at her well-being. Still,
had it been possible, he would have been glad to see some sign
upon her face that she yet remembered him. ***
This sudden discovery that they were in town after their
years of travel stirred his lassitude into excitement. He went
back to his chambers to meditate upon his next step. A
trembling on Geraldine's account was disturbing him. She had
probably been in London ever since the beginning of the season,
but she had not given him a sign to signify that she was so near;
and but for this accidental glimpse of her he might have gone on
for months without knowing that she had returned from abroad. ***
Whether she was leading a dull or an exciting life Egbert
had no means of knowing. That night after night the arms of
interesting young men rested upon her waist and whirled her
round the ball-room he could not bear to think. That she frequented
gatherings and assemblies of all sorts he calmly owned
as very probable, for she was her father's only daughter, and
likely to be made much of. That she had not written a line to
him since their return was still the grievous point. ***
"If I had only risen one or two steps further," he thought,
"how boldly would I seek her out. But only to have published
one successful book in all these years--such grounds are slight
indeed." ***
For several succeeding days he did nothing but look about
the Park, and the streets, and the neighbourhood of Chevron
Square, where their town-house stood, in the hope of seeing her
again; but in vain. There were moments when his distress
that she might possibly be indifferent about him and his affairs
was unbearable. He fully resolved that he would on some early
occasion communicate with her, and know the worst. Years of
work remained to be done before he could think of appearing
before her father; but he had reached a sort of half-way stage
at which some assurance from herself that his track was a hopeful
one was positively needed to keep him firm. ***
Egbert still kept on the look-out for her at every public
place; but nearly a month passed, and she did not appear again.
One Sunday evening, when he had been wandering near Chevron
Square, and looking at her windows from a distance, he returned
past her house after dusk. The rooms were lighted, but the
windows were still open, and as he strolled along he heard notes
from a piano within. They were the accompaniment to an air
from the |Messiah, though no singer's voice was audible. Egbert
readily imagined who the player might be, for the |Messiah was
an oratorio which Geraldine often used to wax eloquent upon in
days gone by. He had not walked far when he remembered
that there was to be an exceptionally fine performance of that
stirring composition during the following week, and it instantly
occurred to him that Geraldine's mind was running on the same
event, and that she intended to be one of the audience. ***
He resolved upon doing something at a venture. The next
morning he went to the ticket-office, and boldly asked for a
place as near as possible to those taken in the name of Allenville. ***
"There is no vacant one in any of those rows," the office-keeper
said, "but you can have one very near their number on the other
side of the division." ***
Egbert was astonished that for once in his life he had made
a lucky hit. He booked his place, and returned home. ***
The evening arrived, and he went early. On taking his seat
he found himself at the left-hand end of a series of benches,
and close to a red cord, which divided the group of seats he had
entered from stalls of a somewhat superior kind. He was passing
the time in looking at the extent of orchestra space, and other
things, when he saw two ladies and a gentleman enter and sit
down in the stalls diagonally before his own, and on the other side
of the division. It delighted and agitated him to find that one of
the three was Geraldine; her two companions he did not know. ***
"Policy, don't desert me now," he thought; and immediately
sat in such a way that unless she turned round to a very unlikely
position she would not see him. ***
There was a certain half-pleasant misery in sitting behind
her thus as a possibly despised lover. To-night, at any rate,
there would be sights and sounds common to both of them,
though they should not communicate to the extent of a word.
Even now he could hear the rustle of her garments as she settled
down in her seat, and the faint murmur of words that passed
between her and her friends. ***
Never, in the many times that he had listened to that rush
of harmonies, had they affected him as they did then; and it
was no wonder, considering what an influence upon his own life
had been and still was exercised by Geraldine, and that she now
sat there before him. The varying strains shook and bent him
to themselves as a rippling brook shakes and bends a shadow.
The music did not show its power by attracting his attention to
its subject; it rather dropped its own libretto and took up in
place of that the poem of his life and love. ***
There was Geraldine still. They were singing the chorus
"Lift up your heads," and he found a new impulse of thought in
him. It was towards determination. Should every member of
her family be against him he would win her in spite of them. He
could now see that Geraldine was moved equally with himself
by the tones which entered her ears. ***
"Why do the nations so furiously rage together" filled him
with a gnawing thrill, and so changed him to its spirit that he
believed he was capable of suffering in silence for his whole
lifetime, and of never appearing before her unless she gave a sign. ***
The audience stood up, and the "Hallelujah Chorus" began.
The deafening harmonies flying from this group and from that
seemed to absorb all the love and poetry that his life had produced,
to pour it upon that one moment, and upon her who stood
so close at hand. "I will force Geraldine to be mine," he thought.
"I will make that heart ache of love for me." The chorus continued,
and her form trembled under its influence. Egbert was
for seeking her the next morning and knowing what his chances
were, without waiting for further results. The chorus and the
personality of Geraldine still filled the atmosphere. "I will seek
her to-night--as soon as we get out of this place," he said. The
storm of sound now reached its climax, and Geraldine's power
was proportionately increased. He would give anything for a
glance this minute--to look into her eyes, she into his. "If I
can but touch her hand, and get one word from her, I will," he
murmured. ***
He shifted his position somewhat and saw her face. Tears
were in her eyes, and her lips were slightly parted. Stretching
a little nearer he whispered, "My love!" ***
Geraldine turned her wet eyes upon him, almost as if she
had not been surprised, but had been forewarned by her previous
emotion. With the peculiar quickness of grasp that she always
showed under sudden circumstances, she had realised the position
at a glance. ***
"Oh, Egbert!" she said; and her countenance flagged as if she
would have fainted. ***
"Give me your hand," he whispered. ***
She placed her hand in his, under the cord, which it was easy
to do without observation; and he held it tight. ***
"Mine, as before?" he asked. ***
"Yours now as then," said she. ***
They were like frail and sorry wrecks upon that sea of symphony,
and remained in silent abandonment to the time, till
the strains approached their close. ***
"Can you meet me to-night?" said Egbert. ***
She was half frightened at the request, and said, "Where?" ***
"At your own front door, at twelve o'clock." He then was
at once obliged to gently withdraw himself, for the chorus was
ended, and the people were sitting down. ***
The remainder was soon over, and it was time to leave.
Egbert watched her and her party out of the house, and, turning
to the other doorway, went out likewise.
((CHAPTER III.))
Bright reason will mock thee,
Like the sun from a wintry sky. ***
WHEN he reached his chambers he sat down and literally did
nothing but watch the hand of the mantel-clock minute by
minute, till it marked half-past eleven, scarcely removing his
eyes. Then going again into the street he called a cab, and was
driven down Park Lane and on to the corner of Chevron Square.
Here he alighted, and went round to the number occupied by
the Allenvilles. ***
A lamp stood nearly opposite the doorway, and by receding
into the gloom to the railing of the square he could see {what-ever
went on in the porch of the house. The lamps over the
doorways were nearly all extinguished, and everything about
this part was silent and deserted, except at a house on the
opposite side of the square, where a ball was going on. But
nothing of that concerned Egbert: his eyes had sought out and
remained fixed upon Mr. Allenville's front door, in momentary
expectation of seeing it gently open. ***
The dark wood of the door showed a keen and distinct edge
upon the pale stone of the porch floor. It must have been about
two minutes before the hour he had named when he fancied he
saw a slight movement at that point, as of something slipped
out from under the door. ***
"It is but fancy," he said to himself. ***
He turned his eyes away, and turned them back again.
Some object certainly seemed to have been thrust under the
door. At this moment the four quarters of midnight began to
strike, and then the hour. Egbert could remain still no longer,
and he went into the porch. A note had been slipped under the
door from inside. ***
He took it to the lamp, turned it over, and saw that it was
directed only with initials,--"To E. M." Egbert tore it open
and glanced upon the page. With a shiver of disappointment
he read these words in her handwriting:-- ***
"It was when under the influence of much emotion, kindled
in me by the power of the music, that I half assented to a
meeting with you to-night; and I believe that you also were
excited when you asked for one. After some quiet reflection I
have decided that it will be much better for us both if we do
not see each other. ***
"You will, I know, judge me fairly in this. You have by
this time learnt what life is; what particular positions, accidental
though they may be, ask, nay, imperatively exact from us. If
you say 'not imperatively,' you cannot speak from knowledge of
the world. ***
"To be woven and tied in with the world by blood, acquaintance,
tradition, and external habit, is to a woman to be utterly
at the beck of that world's customs. In youth we do not see
this. You and I did not see it. We were but a girl and a boy
at the time of our meetings at Tollamore. What was our knowledge?
A list of other people's words. What was our wisdom?
None at all. ***
"It is well for you now to remember that I am not the unsophisticated
girl I was when you first knew me. For better or
for worse I have become complicated, exclusive, and practised.
A woman who can speak, or laugh, or dance, or sing before any
number of men with perfect composure may be no sinner, but
she is not what I was once. She is what I am now. She is not
the girl you loved. That woman is not here. ***
"I wish to write kindly to you, as to one for whom, in spite
of the unavoidable division between our paths, I must always
entertain a heartfelt respect. Is it, after this, out of place in
me to remind you how contrasting are all our associations, how
inharmonious our times and seasons? Could anything ever
overpower this incongruity? ***
"But I must write plainly, and, though it may grieve you
now, it will produce ultimately the truest ease. This is my
meaning. If I could accept your addresses without an entire
loss of position I would do so; but, since this cannot be, we must
forget each other. ***
"Believe me to be, with wishes and prayers for your happiness,
"Your sincere friend,
"G. A." ***
Egbert could neither go home nor stay still; he walked off
rapidly in any direction for the sole sake of vehement motion.
His first impulse was to get into darkness. He went towards
Kensington; thence threaded across to the Uxbridge Road,
thence to Kensal Green, where he turned into a lane and followed
it to Kilburn, and the hill beyond, at which spot he
halted and looked over the vast haze of light extending to the
length and breadth of London. Turning back and wandering
among some fields by a way he could never afterwards recollect,
sometimes sitting down, sometimes leaning on a stile, he lingered
on until the sun had risen. He then slowly walked again
towards London, and, feeling by this time very weary, he entered
the first refreshment-house that he came to, and attempted to eat
something. Having sat for some time over this meal without
doing much more than taste it, he arose and set out for the
street in which he lived. Once in his own rooms he lay down
upon the couch and fell asleep. ***
When he awoke it was four o'clock. Egbert then dressed
and went out, partook of a light meal at his club at the dismal
hour between luncheon and dinner, and cursorily glanced over
the papers and reviews. Among the first things that he saw
were eulogistic notices of his own book in three different reviews,
each the most prominent and weighty of its class. Two of
them, at least, would, he knew, find their way to the {drawing-room
of the Allenvilles, for they were among the periodicals
which the Squire regularly patronised. ***
Next, in a weekly review he read the subjoined note:-- ***
"The authorship of the book ---- ----, about which conjecture
has lately been so much exercised, is now ascribed to
Mr. Egbert Mayne, whose first attempt in that kind we noticed
in these pages some eighteen months ago." ***
He took up a daily paper, and presently lighted on the
following paragraph:-- ***
"It is announced that a marriage is arranged between Lord
Bretton, of Tosthill Park, and Geraldine, only daughter of Foy
Allenville, Esq., of Tollamore House, Wessex." ***
Egbert arose and went towards home. Arrived there
he met the postman at the door, and received from him
a small note. The young man mechanically glanced at the
direction. ***
"From her," he mentally exclaimed. "What does it--" ***
This was what the letter contained:-- ***
"Twelve o'clock. ***
"I have just learnt that the anonymous author of the book
in which the world has been so interested during the past two
months, and which I have read, is none other than yourself.
Accept my congratulations. It seems almost madness in me to
address you now. But I could not do otherwise on receipt of
this news, and after writing my last letter. Let your knowledge
of my nature prevent your misconstruing my motives in
writing thus on the spur of the moment. I need scarcely add,
please keep it a secret for ever. I am not morally afraid, but
other lives, hopes, and objects than mine have to be considered. ***
"The announcement of the marriage is premature, to say
the least. I would tell you more, but dare not. ***
"G. A." ***
The conjunction of all this intelligence produced in Egbert's
heart a stillness which was some time in getting aroused to excitement.
His emotion was formless. He knew not what point
to take hold of and survey his position from; and, though his
faculties grew clearer with the passage of time, he failed in
resolving on a course with any deliberateness. No sooner had
he thought, "I will never see her again for my pride's sake,"
than he said, "Why not see her? she is a woman; she may love
me yet." ***
He went downstairs and out of the house, and walked by
way of the Park towards Chevron Square. ***
Probably nobody will rightly appreciate Mayne's wild behaviour
at this juncture, unless, which is very unlikely, he has
been in a somewhat similar position himself. It may always
appear to cool critics, even if they are generous enough to
make allowances for his feelings, as visionary and weak in the
extreme. Yet it was scarcely to be expected, after the mental
and emotional strain that he had undergone during the
preceding five years, that he should have acted much {other-wise. ***
He rang the bell and asked to see Mr. Allenville. He,
perhaps fortunately, was not at home. "Miss Allenville, then,"
said Mayne. ***
"She is just driving out," said the footman dubiously. ***
Egbert then noticed for the first time that the carriage was
at the door, and almost as soon as the words were spoken
Geraldine came downstairs. ***
"The madness of hoping to call that finished creature, wife!"
he thought. ***
Geraldine recognised him, and looked perplexed. ***
"One word, Miss Allenville," he murmured. ***
She assented, and he followed her into the adjoining room. ***
"I have come," said Egbert. "I know it is hasty of me; but
I must hear my doom from your own lips. Five years ago you
spurred me on to ambition. I have followed but too closely the
plan I then marked out, for I have hoped all along for a reward.
What am I to think? Have you indeed left off feeling what
you once felt for me?" ***
"I cannot speak of it now," she said hurriedly. "I told you
in my letter as much as I dared. Believe me I cannot speak--in
the way you wish. I will always be your friend." ***
"And is this the end? Oh, my God!" ***
"And we shall hope to see you to dinner some day, now you
are famous," she continued, pale as ashes. "But I--cannot be
with you as we once were. I was such a child at that time, you
know. ((e)) ***
"Geraldine, is this all I get after this lapse of time and heat
of labour?" ***
"I am not my own mistress--I have my father to please,"
she faintly murmured. "I must please him. There is no help
for this. Go from me--do go!" ***
Egbert turned and went, for he felt that he had no longer a
place beside her. ***
((CHAPTER IV.))
Then I said in my heart, "As it happeneth to the fool, so it happeneth
even to me; and why was I then more wise?" ***
MAYNE was in rather an ailing state for several days after the
above-mentioned event. Yet the lethean stagnation which
usually comes with the realisation that all is over allowed him
to take some deep sleeps, to which he had latterly been a
stranger. ***
The hours went by, and he did the best he could to dismiss
his regrets for Geraldine. He was assisted to the very little
success that he attained in this by reflecting how different a
woman she must have become from her old sweet self of five or
six years ago. ***
"But how paltry is my success now she has vanished!" he said.
"What is it worth? What object have I in following it up after
this?" It rather startled him to see that the root of his desire
for celebrity having been Geraldine, he now was a man who had
no further motive in moving on. Town life had for some time
been depressing to him. He began to doubt whether he could
ever be happy in the course of existence that he had followed
through these later years. The perpetual strain, the lack of
that quiet to which he had been accustomed in early life, the
absence of all personal interest in things around him, was telling
upon his health of body and of mind. ***
Then revived the wish which had for some time been
smouldering in his secret heart--to leave off, for the present, at
least, his efforts for distinction; to retire for a few months to his
old country nook, and there to meditate on his next course. ***
To set about this was curiously awkward to him. He had
planned methods of retrogression in case of defeat through want
of ability, want of means, or lack of opportunity; but to retreat
because his appetite for advance had gone off was what he had
never before thought of. ***
His reflections turned upon the old home of his mother's
family. He knew exactly how Tollamore appeared at that time
of the year. The trees with their half-ripe apples, the bees and
butterflies lazy from the heat; the haymaking over, the harvest
not begun, the people lively and always out of doors. He would
visit the spot, and call upon some old and half-forgotten friends
of his grandfather in an adjoining parish. ***
Two days later he left town. The fine weather, his escape
from that intricate web of effort in which he had been bound
these five years, the sensation that nobody in the world had any
claims upon him, imparted some buoyancy to his mind; and it
was in a serene if sad spirit that he entered Tollamore Vale, and
smelt his native air. ***
He did not at once proceed to the village, but stopped at
Fairland, the parish next adjoining. It was now evening, and
he called upon some of the old cottagers whom he knew. Time
had set a mark upon them all since he had last been there.
Middle-aged men were a little more round-shouldered, their
wives had taken to spectacles, young people had grown up out
of recognition, and old men had passed into second childhood. ***
Egbert found here, as he had expected, precisely such a
lodging as a hermit would desire. It was in an ivy-covered
detached house which had been partly furnished for a tenant
who had never come, and it was kept clean by an old woman
living in a cottage near. She offered to wait upon Egbert
whilst he remained there, coming in the morning and leaving
in the afternoon, thus giving him the house to himself during
the latter part of the day. ***
When it grew dusk he went out, wishing to ramble for a
little time. The gibbous moon rose on his right, the stars
showed themselves sleepily one by one, and the far distance
turned to a mysterious ocean of grey. He instinctively directed
his steps towards Tollamore, and when there towards the school.
It looked very little changed since the year in which he had
had the memorable meetings with her there, excepting that the
creepers had grown higher. ***
He went on towards the Park. Here was the place whereon
he had used to await her coming--he could be sure of the spot to
a foot. There was the turn of the hill around which she had
appeared. The sentimental effect of the scenes upon him was
far greater than he had expected, so great that he wished he had
never been so reckless as to come here. "But this is folly," he
thought. "The betrothed of Lord Bretton is a woman of the
world in whose thoughts, hopes, and habits I have no further
interest or share." ***
In the lane he heard the church-bells ringing out their five
notes, and meeting a shepherd Egbert asked him what was
going on. ***
"Practising," he said, in an uninterested voice. "'Tis against
young Miss's wedding, that their hands may be thoroughly in
by the day for't." ***
He presently came to where his grandfather's old house had
stood. It was pulled down, the ground it covered having become
a shabby, irregular spot, half grown over with trailing
plants. The garden had been grassed down, but the old {apple-trees
still remained, their trunks and stems being now sheeted
on one side with moonlight. He entertained himself by guessing
where the front door of the house had been, at which
Geraldine had entered on the memorable evening when she
came to him full of grief and pity, and a tacit avowal of love
was made on each side. Where they had sat together was now
but a heap of broken rubbish half covered with grass. Near this
melancholy spot was the cottage once inhabited by Nathan
Brown. But Nathan was dead now, and his wife and family
had gone elsewhere. ***
Finding the effect of memory to be otherwise than cheerful,
Mayne hastened from the familiar spot, and went on to the
parish of Fairland in which he had taken his lodging. ***
It soon became whispered in the neighbourhood that Miss
Allenville's wedding was to take place on the 17th of October.
Egbert heard few particulars of the matter beyond the date,
though it is possible that he might have known more if he
had tried. He preferred to fortify himself by dipping deeply
into the few books he had brought with him; but the most
obvious plan of escaping his thoughts, that of a rapid change
of scene by travel, he was unaccountably loth to adopt. He
felt that he could not stay long in this district; yet an indescribable
fascination held him on day after day, till the date
of the marriage was close at hand.
((CHAPTER V.))
How all the other passions fleet to air,
As doubtful thoughts, and rash-embraced despair
And shudd'ring fear, and green-eyed jealousy! ***
ON the eve of the wedding the people told Mayne that arches
and festoons of late summer-flowers and evergreens had been
put up across the path between the church porch at Tollamore
and the private gate to the Squire's lawn, for the procession of
bride and bridesmaids. Before it got dark several villagers went
on foot to the church to look at and admire these decorations.
Egbert had determined to see the ceremony over. It would do
him good, he thought, to be witness of the sacrifice. ***
Hence he, too, went along the path to Tollamore to inspect
the preparations. It was dusk by the time that he reached the
churchyard, and he entered it boldly, letting the gate fall
together with a loud slam, as if he were a man whom nothing
troubled. He looked at the half-completed bowers of green,
and passed on into the church, never having entered it since he
first left Tollamore. ***
He was standing by the chancel-arch, and observing the
quantity of flowers which had been placed around the spot, when
he heard the creaking of a gate on its hinges. Two figures
entered the church, and Egbert stepped behind a canopied
tomb. ***
The persons were females, and they appeared to be servants
from the neighbouring mansion. They brought more flowers
and festoons, and were talking of the event of the morrow.
Coming into the chancel they threw down their burdens with a
remark that it was too dark to arrange more flowers that night. ***
"This is where she is to kneel," said one, standing with her
arms akimbo before the altar-railing. "And I wish 'twas I
instead, Lord send if I don't." ***
The two girls went on gossiping till other footsteps caused
them to turn. ***
"I won't say 'tisn't she. She has been here two or three
times to day. Let's go round this way." ***
And the servants went towards the door by a circuitous path
round the aisle, to avoid meeting with the new-comer. ***
Egbert, too, thought he would leave the place now that he
had heard and seen thus much; but from carelessness or design
he went straight down the nave. An instant afterwards he was
standing face to face with Geraldine. The servants had
vanished. ***
"Good evening," she said serenely, not knowing him, and
supposing him to be a parishioner. ***
Egbert returned the words hastily, and, in standing aside to
let her pass, looked clearly into her eyes and pale face, as if
there never had been a time at which he would have done {any-thing
on earth for her sake. ***
She knew him, and started, uttering a weak exclamation.
When he reached the door he turned his head, and saw that she
was irresolutely holding up her hand, as if to beckon to him to
come back. ***
"One word, since I have met you," she said in unequal {half-whispered
tones. "I have felt that I was one-sided in my haste
on the day you called to see me in London. I misunderstood you." ***
Egbert could at least out-do her in self-control, and,
astonished that she should have spoken, he answered in a yet
colder tone, ***
"I am sorry for that; very sorry, madam." ***
"And you excuse it?" ***
"Of course I do, readily. And I hope you, too, will pardon
my intrusion on that day, and understand the--circumstances." ***
"Yes, yes. Especially as I am most to blame for those
indiscreet proceedings in our early lives which led to it." ***
"Certainly you were not most to blame." ***
"How can you say that?" she answered with a slight laugh,
"when you know nothing of what my motives and feelings
were?" ***
"I know well enough to judge, for I was the elder. Let me
just recall some points in your own history at that time." ***
"No." ***
"Will you not hear a word?" ***
"I cannot. . . . Are you writing another book?" ***
"I am doing nothing. I am idling at Monk's Hut." ***
"Indeed!" she said, slightly surprised. "Well, you will
always have my good wishes, whatever you may do. If any of
my relatives can ever help you--" ***
"Thank you, madam, very much. I think, however, that I
can help myself." ***
She was silent, looking upon the floor; and Egbert spoke
again, successfully hiding the feelings of his heart under a light
and untrue tone. "Miss Allenville, you know that I loved you
devotedly for many years, and that that love was the starting
point of all my ambition. My sense of it makes this meeting
rather awkward. But men survive almost anything. I have
proved it. Their love is strong while it lasts, but it soon withers
at sight of a new face. I congratulate you on your coming
marriage. Perhaps I may marry some day, too." ***
"I hope you will find some one worth your love. I am sorry
I ever--inconvenienced you as I did. But one hardly knows at
that age--" ***
"Don't think of it for a moment--I really entreat you not to
think of that." What prompted the cruelty of his succeeding
words he never could afterwards understand. "It was a hard
matter at first for me to forget you, certainly; but perhaps I
was helped in my wish by the strong prejudice I originally had
against your class and family. I have fixed my mind firmly
upon the differences between us, and my youthful fancy is pretty
fairly overcome. Those old silly days of devotion were pretty
enough, but the devotion was entirely unpractical, as you have
seen, of course." ***
"Yes, I have seen it," she faltered. ***
"It was scarcely of a sort which survives accident and
division, and is strengthened by disaster." ***
"Well, perhaps not, perhaps not. You can scarcely care
much now whether it was or not; or, indeed, care anything
about me or my happiness." ***
"I do care." ***
"How much? As you do for that of any other wretched
human being?" ***
"Wretched? No!" ***
"I will tell you--I must tell you!" she said with rapid utterance.
"This is my secret, this. I don't love the man I am
going to marry; but I have agreed to be his wife to satisfy my
friends. Say you don't hate me for what I have told. I could
not bear that you should not know!" ***
"Hate you? Oh, Geraldine!" ***
A hair's-breadth further, and they would both have broken down. ***
"Not a word more. Now you know my unhappy state, and
I shall die content." ***
"But, darling--my Geraldine!" ***
"It is too late. Good-night--good-bye!" She spoke in a
hurried voice, almost like a low cry, and rushed away. ***
Here was a revelation. Egbert moved along to the door,
and up the path, in a condition in which his mind caused his
very body to ache. He gazed vacantly through the railings of the
lawn, which came close to the churchyard; but she was gone.
He still moved mechanically on. A little further and he was
overtaken by the parish clerk, who, addressing a few words to
him, soon recognised his voice. ***
The clerk's talk, too, was about the wedding. "Is the marriage
likely to be a happy one?" asked Egbert, aroused by the subject. ***
"Well, between you and me, Mr. Mayne, 'tis a made up
affair. Some says she can't bear the man." ***
"Lord Bretton?" ***
"Yes. I could say more if I dared; but what's the good of
it now!" ***
"I suppose none," said Egbert wearily. ***
He was glad to be again alone, and went on towards Fairland
slowly and heavily. Had Geraldine forgotten him, and
loved elsewhere with a light heart, he could have borne it; but
this sacrifice at a time when, left to herself, she might have
listened to him, was an intolerable misery. Her inconsistent
manner, her appearance of being swayed by two feelings, her
half-reservations, were all explained. "Against her wishes," he
said; "at heart she may still be mine. Oh, Geraldine, my poor
Geraldine, is it come to this!" ***
He bitterly regretted his first manner towards her, and
turned round to consider whether he could not go back,
endeavour to find her, and ask if he could be of any possible
use. But all this was plainly absurd. He again proceeded
homeward as before. ***
Reaching Fairland he sat awhile in his empty house without
a light, and then went to bed. Owing to the distraction of his
mind he lay for three or four hours meditating, and listening to
the autumn wind, turning restlessly from side to side, the blood
throbbing in his temples and singing in his ears, and the
ticking of his watch waxing apparently loud enough to stun
him. He conjured up the image of Geraldine in her various
stages of preparation on the following day. He saw her coming
in at the well-known door, walking down the aisle in a floating
cloud of white, and receiving the eyes of the assembled crowd
without a flush, or a sign of consciousness; uttering the words,
"I take thee to my wedded husband," as quietly as if she were
dreaming them. And the husband? Egbert shuddered. How
could she have consented, even if her memories stood their
ground only half so obstinately as his own? As for himself, he
perceived more clearly than ever how intricately she had
mingled with every motive in his past career. Some portion of
the thought, "marriage with Geraldine," had been marked on
every day of his manhood. ***
Ultimately he fell into a fitful sleep, when he dreamed of
fighting, wading, diving, boring, through innumerable multitudes,
in the midst of which Geraldine's form appeared flitting
about, in the usual confused manner of dreams--sometimes
coming towards him, sometimes receding, and getting thinner
and thinner till she was a mere film tossed about upon a
seething mass. ***
He jumped up in the bed, damp with a cold perspiration,
and in an agony of disquiet. It was a minute or two before he
could collect his senses. He went to the window and looked
out. It was quite dark, and the wind moaned and whistled
round the corners of the house in the heavy intonations which
seem to express that ruthlessness has all the world to itself. ***
"Egbert, do, do come to me!" reached his ears in a faint
voice from the darkness. ***
There was no mistaking it: it was assuredly the tongue of
Geraldine. ***
He half dressed himself, ran down stairs, and opened the
front door, holding the candle above his head. Nobody was
visible. ***
He set down the light, hastened round the back of the
house, and saw a dusky figure turning the corner to get to the
gate. He then ran diagonally across the plot, and intercepted the
form in the path. "Geraldine!" he said, "can it indeed be you?" ***
"Yes, it is, it is!" she cried wildly, and fell upon his shoulder. ***
The hot turmoil of excitement pervading her hindered her
from fainting, and Egbert placed his arm round her, and led
her into the house, without asking a question, or meeting with
any resistance. He assisted her into a chair as soon as they
reached the front room. ***
"I have run away from home, Egbert, and to you!" she
sobbed. "I am not insane: they and you may think so, but I
am not. I came to find you. Such shocking things have happened
since I met you just now. Can Lord Bretton come and
claim me?" ***
"Nobody on earth can claim you, darling, against your will.
Now tell it all to me." ***
She spoke on between her tears. "I have loved you ever
since, Egbert; but such influences have been brought to bear
upon me that at last I have hardly known what I was doing.
At last, I thought that perhaps, after all, it would be better to
become a lady of title, with a large park and houses of my own,
than the wife of any man of genius who was poor. I loved you
all the time, but I was half ashamed that I loved you. I went
out continually, that gaiety might obscure the past. And then
dark circles came round my eyes--I grew worn and tired. I am
not nearly so nice to look at as at that time when we used to
meet in the school, nor so healthy either . . . I think I was
handsome then." At this she smiled faintly, and raised her eyes
to his, with a sparkle of their old mischief in them. ***
"And now and ever," he whispered. ***
"How innocent we were then! Fancy, Egbert, our unreserve
would have been almost wrong if we had known the canons of
behaviour we learnt afterwards. Ah! who at that time would
have thought I was to yield to what I did? I wish now that I
had met you at the door in Chevron Square, as I promised. But
I feared to--I had promised Lord Bretton--and I that evening
received a lecturing from my father, who saw you at the concert--he
was in a seat further behind. And then, when I heard of
your great success, how I wished I had held out a little longer!
for I knew your hard labour had been on my account. When
we met again last night it seemed awful, horrible--what I had
done. Yet how could I tell you plainly? When I got indoors
I felt I should die of misery, and I went to my father, and said
I could not be married to-morrow. Oh, how angry he was, and
what a dreadful scene occurred!" She covered her face with her
hands. ***
"My poor Geraldine!" said Egbert, supporting her with his arm. ***
"When I was in my room this came into my mind, 'Better
is it that thou shouldest not vow, than that thou shouldest vow
and not pay.' I could bear it no longer. I was determined
not to marry him, and to see you again, whatever came of it.
I dressed, and came down stairs noiselessly, and slipped out. I
knew where your house was, and I hastened here." ***
"You will never marry him now?" ***
"Never. Yet what can I do? Oh! what can I do? If I go
back to my father--no, I cannot go back now--it is too late.
But if they should find me, and drag me back, and compel me
to perform my promise!" ***
"There is one simple way to prevent that, if, beloved Geraldine,
you will agree to adopt it." ***
"Yes." ***
"By becoming |my wife, at once. We would return to
London as soon as the ceremony was over; and there you may
defy them all." ***
"Oh, Egbert! I have thought of this--" ***
"You will have no reason to regret it. Perhaps I can introduce
you to as intellectual, if odd-mannered and less aristocratic,
society than that you have been accustomed to." ***
"Yes, I know it--I reflected on it before I came . . . I will
be your wife," she replied tenderly. "I have come to you, and to
you I will cling." ***
Egbert kissed her lips then for the first time in his life.
He reflected for some time, if that process could be called reflection
which was accompanied with so much excitement. ***
"The parson of your parish would perhaps refuse to marry
us, even if we could get to the church secretly," he said, with a
cloud on his brow. "That's a difficulty." ***
"Oh, don't take me there! I cannot go to Tollamore. I
shall be seen, or we shall be parted. Don't take me there." ***
"No, no; I will not, love. I was only thinking. Are you
known in this parish?" ***
"Well, yes; not, however, to the clergyman. He is a young
man--old Mr. Keene is dead, you know." ***
"Then I can manage it." Egbert clasped her in his arms in
the delight of his heart. "Now this is our course. I am first
going to the surrogate's, and then further; and while I am gone
you must stay in this house absolutely alone, and lock yourself
in for safety. There is food in the house, and wine in that
cupboard; you must stay here in hiding till I come back. It
is now five o'clock. I will be here again at latest by eleven.
If anybody knocks, remain silent, and the house will be supposed
empty, as it lately has been so for a long time. My old
servant and waitress must not come here to-day--I will manage
that. I will light a fire, which will have burnt down by {day-light,
so that the room will be warmed for you. Sit there while
I set about it." ***
He lit the fire, placed on the table all the food the house
afforded, and went away. ***
((CHAPTER VI.))
Hence will I to my ghostly father's cell;
His help to crave, and my dear hap to tell. ***
IN half an hour Egbert returned, leading a horse. ***
"I have borrowed this from an old neighbour," he said, "and
I have told the woman who waits upon me that I am going on
a journey, and shall lock up the house to-day, so that she will
not be wanted. And now, dearest, I want you to lend me
something." ***
"Whatever it may be, you know it is yours." ***
"It is that," he answered, lightly touching with the tip of
his finger a sparkling ring she wore on hers--the same she had
used to wear at their youthful meetings in past years. "I want
it as a pattern for the size." ***
She drew it off and handed it to him, at the same time
raising her eyelids and glancing under his with a little laugh
of confusion. His heart responded, and he kissed her; but he
could not help feeling that she was by far too fair a prize for him. ***
She accompanied him to the door, and Mayne mounted
the horse. They parted, and, waiting to hear her lock herself
in, he cantered off by a bridle-path towards a town about five
miles off. ***
It was so early that the surrogate on whom he called had not
yet breakfasted, but he was very willing to see Mayne, and took
him at once to the study. Egbert briefly told him what he
wanted; that the lady he wished to marry was at that very
moment in his house, and could go nowhere else for shelter--hence
the earliness and urgency of his errand. ***
The surrogate seemed to see rather less interest in the circumstances
than Mayne did himself; but he at once prepared
the application for a license. When it was done, he made it up
into a letter, directed it, and placed it on the mantelpiece. "It
shall go by this evening's post," he said. ***
"But," said Egbert, "considering the awkward position this
lady is in, cannot a special messenger be sent for the license?
It is only seven or eight miles to-----, and yet otherwise I must
wait for two days' posts." ***
"Undoubtedly; if anybody likes to pay for it, a special messenger
may be sent." ***
"There will be no paying; I am willing to go myself. Do
you object?" ***
"No; if the case is really serious, and the lady is dangerously
compromised by every delay." ***
Mayne left the vicarage of the surrogate and again rode off;
this time it was towards a well-known cathedral town. He felt
bewildering sensations during this stroke for happiness, and went
on his journey in that state of mind which takes cognisance of
little things, without at the time being conscious of them,
though they return vividly upon the memory long after. ***
He reached the city after a ride of seven additional miles,
and soon obtained the precious document, and all else that he
required. Returning to the inn where the horse had been rested,
rubbed down, and fed, he again crossed the saddle, and at ten
minutes past eleven he was back at Fairland. Before going to
Monk's Hut, where Geraldine was immured, he hastened straight
to the parsonage. ***
The young clergyman looked curiously at him, and at the
bespattered and jaded horse outside. "Surely you are too rash in
the matter," he said. ***
"No," said Egbert; "there are weighty reasons why I should
be in such haste. The lady has at present no home to go to.
She has taken shelter with me. I am doing what I consider
best in so awkward a case." ***
The parson took down his hat, and said, "Very well; I will
go to the church at once. You must be quick if it is to be done
to-day." ***
Mayne left the horse for the present in the parson's yard,
ran round to the clerk, thence to Monk's Hut, and called
Geraldine. ***
It was, indeed, a hasty preparation for a wedding ceremony
that these two made that morning. She was standing at the
window, quite ready, and feverish with waiting. Kissing her
gaily and breathlessly he directed her by a slightly circuitous
path to the church; and, when she had been gone about two
minutes, proceeded thither himself by the direct road, so that
they met in the porch. Within, the clergyman, clerk, and
clerk's wife had already gathered; and Geraldine and Egbert
advanced to the communion railing. ***
Thus they became man and wife. ***
"Now he cannot claim me anyhow," she murmured when the
service was ended, as she sank almost fainting upon the arm of
Mayne. ***
"Mr. Mayne," said the clergyman, aside to him in the vestry,
"what is the name of the family at Tollamore House?" ***
"Strangely enough, Allenville--the same as hers," said he,
coolly. ***
The parson looked keenly and dubiously at Mayne, and
Egbert returned the look, whereupon the other turned aside and
said nothing. ***
Egbert and Geraldine returned to their hermitage on foot,
as they had left it; and, by rigorously excluding all thoughts of
the future, they felt happy with the same old unreasoning
happiness as of six years before, now resumed for the first time
since that date. ***
But it was quite impossible that the hastily-married pair
should remain at Monk's Hut unseen and unknown, as they fain
would have done. Almost as soon as they had sat down in the
house they came to the conclusion that there was no alternative
for them but to start at once for Melport, if not for London.
The difficulty was to get a conveyance. The only horse obtainable
here, though a strong one, had already been tired down by
Egbert in the morning, and the nearest village at which another
could be had was about two miles off. ***
"I can walk as far as that," said Geraldine. ***
"Then walk we will," said Egbert. "It will remove all our
difficulty." And, first packing up a small valise, he locked the
door and went off with her upon his arm, just as the church
clock struck one. ***
That walk through the woods was as romantic an experience
as any they had ever known in their lives, though Geraldine
was far from being quite happy. On reaching the village,
which was larger than Fairland, they were fortunate enough to
secure a carriage without any trouble. The village stood on
the turnpike road, and a fly, about to return to Melport, where
it had come from, was halting before the inn. Egbert hired
it at once, and in little less than an hour and a half bridegroom
and bride were comfortably housed in a quiet hotel of the seaport
town above mentioned.
((CHAPTER VII.))
How small a part of time they share
That are so wondrous sweet and fair! ***
THEY remained three days at Melport without having come to
any decision on their future movements. ***
On the third day, at breakfast, Egbert took up the local
newspaper which had been published that morning, and his eye
presently glanced upon a paragraph headed "The Tollamore
Elopement." ***
Before reading it he considered for a moment whether he
should lay the journal aside, and for the present hide its contents
from the tremulous creature opposite. But deeming this
unadvisable, he gently prepared her for the news, and read the
paragraph aloud. ***
It was to the effect that the village of Tollamore and its
neighbourhood had been thrown into an unwonted state of excitement
by the disappearance of Miss Allenville on the eve of
the preparations for her marriage with Lord Bretton, which had
been alluded to in their last number. Simultaneously there
had disappeared from a neighbouring village, whither he had
come for a few months' retirement, a gentleman named Mayne,
of considerable literary reputation in the metropolis, and apparently
an old acquaintance of Miss Allenville's. Efforts had
been made to trace the fugitives by the young lady's father and
the distracted bridegroom, Lord Bretton, but hitherto all their
exertions had been unavailing. ***
Subjoined was another paragraph, entitled "Latest particulars." ***
"It has just been discovered that Mr. Mayne and Miss
Allenville are already man and wife. They were boldly married
at the parish church of Fairland, before any person in the village
had the least suspicion who or what they were. It appears
that the lady joined her intended husband early that morning
at the cottage he had taken for the season, that they went to
the church by different paths, and after the ceremony walked
out of the parish by a route as yet unknown. In consequence
of this intelligence Lord Bretton has returned to London, and
her father is left alone to mourn the young lady's rashness." ***
Egbert lifted his eyes and watched Geraldine as he finished
reading. On perceiving his look she tried to smile. The smile
thinned away, for there was not cheerfulness enough to support
it long, and she said faintly, "Egbert, what must be done?" ***
"We must, I suppose, leave this place, darling; charming as
our life is here." ***
"Yes; I fear we must." ***
"London seems to be the spot for us at once, before we
attract the attention of the people here." ***
"How well everything might end," she said, "if my father
were induced to welcome you, and make the most of your reputation!
I wonder, wonder if he would! In that case there
would be little amiss." ***
Mayne, after some reflection, said, "I think that I will go
to your father before we leave for town. We are certain to be
discovered by somebody or other, either here or in London, and
that would bring your father, and there would possibly result a
public meeting between him and myself at which words might
be uttered which could not be forgotten on either side; so that
a private meeting and explanation is safest, before anything of
that sort can happen." ***
"I think," she said, looking to see if he approved of her words
as they fell, "I think that a still better course would be for me
to go to him--alone." ***
Mayne did not care much about this plan at first; but further
discussion gave it a more feasible aspect, since Allenville, though
stern and proud, was fond of his daughter, and had never crossed
her, except when her whims interfered, as he considered, with
her interests. Nothing could unmarry them; and Geraldine's
mind would be much more at ease after begging her father's
forgiveness. The journey was therefore decided on. They
waited till nearly evening, and then, ordering round a brougham,
Egbert told the man to drive to Tollamore. ***
The journey to Geraldine was tedious and oppressive to a
degree. When, after two hours' driving, they drew near the
park precincts, she said shivering, ***
"I don't like to drive up to the house, Egbert." ***
"I will do just as you like. What do you propose?" ***
"To let him wait in the road, under the three oak trees,
while you and I walk to the house." ***
Egbert humoured her in everything; and when they reached
the designated spot the driver was stopped, and they alighted.
Carefully wrapping her up he gave her his arm, and they started
for Tollamore House at an easy pace through the moonlit park,
avoiding the direct road as much as possible. ***
Geraldine spoke but little during the walk, especially when
they neared the house, and passed across the smooth broad
glade which surrounded it. At sight of the door she seemed
to droop, and leant heavily upon him. Egbert more than ever
wished to confront Mr. Allenville himself; morally and socially
it appeared to him the right thing to do. But Geraldine
trembled when he again proposed it; and he yielded to her entreaty
thus far, that he would wait a few minutes till she had
entered and seen her father privately, and prepared the way for
Egbert to follow, which he would then do in due course. ***
The spot in which she desired him to wait was a {summer-house
under a tree about fifty yards from the lawn front of the
house, and commanding a view of the door on this side. She
was to enter unobserved by the servants, and go straight to her
father, when, should he listen to her with the least show of
mildness, she would send out for Egbert to follow. If the worst
were to happen, and he were to be enraged with her, refusing
to listen to entreaties or explanations, she would hasten out,
rejoin Egbert, and depart. ***
In this little summer-house he embraced her, and bade her
adieu, after their honeymoon of three short days. She trembled
so much that she could scarcely walk when he let go her hand. ***
"Don't go alone--you are not well," said Egbert. ***
"Yes, yes, dearest, I am--and I will soon return, so soon!"
she answered; and he watched her crossing the grass and
advancing, a mere dot, towards the mansion. In a short time
the appearance of an oblong of light in the shadowy expanse
of wall denoted to him that the door was open: her outline
appeared on it; then the door shut her in, and all was shadow
as before. Even though they were husband and wife the line
of demarcation seemed to be drawn again as rigidly as when he
lived at the school. ***
Egbert waited in the solitude of this place minute by minute,
restlessly swinging his foot when seated, at other times walking
up and down, and anxiously watching for the arrival of some
messenger. Nearly half an hour passed, but no messenger came. ***
The first sign of life in the neighbourhood of the house was
in the shape of a man on horseback, galloping from the stable
entrance. Egbert saw this by looking over the wall at the back
of the summer-house; and the man passed along the open drive,
vanishing in the direction of the lodge. Mayne, not without
some presentiment of ill, wondered what it could mean, but
thought it just possible that the horseman was a special messenger
sent to catch the late post at the nearest town, as was
sometimes done by Squire Allenville. So he curbed his impatience
for Geraldine's sake. ***
Next he observed lights moving in the upper windows of
the building. "It has been made known to them all that she
is come, and they are preparing a room," he thought hopefully. ***
But nobody came from the door to welcome him; his existence
was apparently forgotten by the whole world. In another
ten minutes he saw the Melport brougham that had brought
them, creeping slowly up to the house. Egbert went round to
the man, and told him to drive to the stables and wait for
orders. ***
From the length of Geraldine's absence, Mayne could not
help concluding that the impression produced on her father was
of a doubtful kind, not quite favourable enough to warrant her
in telling him at once that her husband was in waiting. Still,
a sense of his dignity as her husband might have constrained
her to introduce him as soon as possible, and he had only agreed
to wait a few minutes. Something unexpected must, after all,
have occurred. And this supposition was confirmed a moment
later by the noise of a horse and carriage coming up the drive.
Egbert again looked over into the open park, and saw the
vehicle reach the carriage entrance, where somebody alighted
and went in. ***
"Her father away from home perhaps, and now just returned,"
he said. ***
He lingered yet another ten minutes, and then could endure
no longer. Before he could reach the lawn door through which
Geraldine had disappeared it opened. A person came out and,
without shutting the door, hastened across to where Egbert
stood. The man was a servant, without a hat on, and the moment
that he saw Mayne he ran up to him. ***
"Mr. Mayne?" he said. ***
"It is," said Egbert. ***
"Mr. Allenville desires that you will come with me. There
is something serious the matter. Miss Allenville is taken dangerously
ill, and she wishes to see you." ***
"What has happened to her?" gasped Egbert breathlessly. ***
"Miss Allenville came unexpectedly home just now, and
directly she saw her father it gave her such a turn that she
fainted, and ruptured a blood-vessel internally, and fell upon the
floor. They have put her to bed, and the doctor has come, but
we are afraid she won't live over it. She has suffered from it
before." ***
Egbert did not speak, but walked hastily beside the {man-servant.
The only recollection that he ever had in after years
of entering that house was a vague idea of stags' antlers in a
long row on the wall, and a sense of great breadth in the stone
staircase as he ascended it. Everything else was in a mist. ***
Mr. Allenville, on being informed of his arrival, came out
and met him in the corridor. ***
Egbert's mind was so entirely given up to the one thought
that the life of his Geraldine was in danger, that he quite forgot
the peculiar circumstances under which he met Allenville, and
the peculiar behaviour necessary on that account. He seized
her father's hand, and said abruptly, ***
"Where is she? Is the danger great?" ***
Allenville withdrew his hand, turned, and led the way into
his daughter's room, merely saying in a low hard tone, "Your
wife is in great danger, sir." ***
Egbert rushed to the bedside and bent over her in agony
not to be described. Allenville sent the attendants from the
room, and closed the door. ***
"Father," she whispered feebly, "I cannot help loving him.
Would you leave us alone? We are very dear to each other,
and perhaps I shall soon die." ***
"Anything you wish, child," he said with stern anguish;
"and anything can hardly include more." Seeing that she looked
hurt at this, he spoke more pleasantly. "I am glad to please
you--you know I am, Geraldine--to the utmost." He then
went out. ***
"They would not have let you know if Dr. Williams had
not insisted," she said. "I could not speak to explain at first--that's
how it is you have been left there so long." ***
"Geraldine, dear, dear Geraldine, why should all this have
come upon us?" he said in broken accents. ***
"Perhaps it is best," she murmured. "I hardly knew what I
was doing when I entered the door, or how I could explain to
my father, or what could be done to reconcile him to us. He
kept me waiting a little time before he would see me, but at
last he came into the room. I felt a fulness on my chest, I
could not speak, and then this happened to me. Papa has
asked no questions." ***
A silence followed, interrupted only by her fitful breathing:
A silence which doth follow talk, that causes
The baffled heart to speak with sighs and tears. ***
"Do you love me very much now, Egbert?" she said. "After
all my vacillation, do you?" ***
"Yes--how can you doubt?" ***
"I do not doubt. I know you love me. But will you stay
here till I get better? You must stay. Papa is sure to be
friendly with you now." ***
"Don't agitate yourself, dearest, about me. All is right
with me here. Your health is the one thing to be anxious
about now." ***
"I have only been taken ill like this once before in my life,
and I thought it would never be again." ***
As she was not allowed to speak much, he remained holding
her hand; and after some time she sank into a light sleep.
Egbert then went from the chamber for a moment, and asked
the physician, who was in the next room, if there was good
hope for her life. ***
"It is a dangerous attack, and she is very weak," he replied,
concealing, though scarcely able to conceal, the curiosity
with which he regarded Egbert; for the marriage had now become
generally known. ***
The evening and night wore on. Great events in which he
could not participate seemed to be passing over Egbert's head;
a stir was in progress, of whose results he grasped but small and
fragmentary notions. And, on the other hand, it was mournfully
strange to notice her father's behaviour during these hours of
doubt. It was only when he despaired that he looked upon
Egbert with tolerance. When he hoped, the young man's presence
was hateful to him. ***
Not knowing what to do when out of her chamber, having
nobody near him to whom he could speak on intimate terms,
Egbert passed a wretched time of three long days. After
watching by her for several hours on the third day, he went
downstairs, and into the open air. There intelligence was
brought him that another effusion, more violent than any which
preceded it, had taken place. Egbert rushed back to her room.
Powerful remedies were applied, but none availed. A {fainting-fit
followed, and in two or three hours it became plain to those
who understood that there was no Geraldine for the morrow. ***
Sometimes she was lethargic, and as if her spirit had already
flown; then her mind wandered; but towards the end she was
sensible of all that was going on, though unable to speak, her
strength being barely enough to enable her to receive an idea. ***
It was a gentle death. She was as acquiescent as if she had
been a saint, which was not the least striking and uncommon
feature in the life of this fair and unfortunate lady. Her husband
held one tiny hand, remaining all the time on the right
side of the bed in a nook beside the curtains, while her father
and the rest remained on the left side, never raising their eyes
to him, and scarcely ever addressing him. ***
Everything was so still that her weak act of trying to live
seemed a silent wrestling with all the powers of the universe.
Pale and hopelessly anxious they all waited and watched the
heavy shadows close over her. It might have been thought
that death felt for her and took her tenderly. She sighed
twice or three times; then her heart stood still; and this
strange family alliance was at an end for ever.
((THOMAS HARDY.))
((THE THIEVES WHO COULDN'T HELP SNEEZING.
BY THOMAS HARDY.))
added, "For your readiness the river shall run
again in two or three minutes' time." ***
"Oh--ah, yes," said Steve, adding heartily
in undertones, "I had forgotten that!" ***
Almost as soon as the words were spoken we
perceived a little increase in the mere dribble of
water which now flowed, whereupon he waved
his wand and murmured more words. The liquid
thread swelled and rose; and in a few
minutes was the same as before. Our triumph
was complete; and the suspension had been so
temporary that probably nobody in the village
had noticed it but ourselves and the boys. ***
((THOMAS HARDY.))
(((|To be continued.)))
(([Written expressly for |The |Independent.]))
((The Doctor's Legend))
((By Thomas Hardy.))
((I))
"NOT more than half-a-dozen miles from the Wessex
coast" (said the doctor) "is a mansion which appeared
newer in the last century than it appears at the present
day after years of neglect & occupation by inferior
tenants. It was owned by a man of five-&-twenty,
than whom a more ambitious personage never surveyed
his face in a glass. His name I will not mention out
of respect to those of his blood & connections who may remain
on earth, if any such there be. In the words of a
writer of that time who knew him well, he was 'one
whom anything would petrify but nothing would soften'. ***
"This worthy gentleman was of so elevated & refined a
nature that he never gave a penny to women who uttered
bad words in their trouble & rage, or who wore dirty
aprons in view of his front door. On those misguided
ones who did not pull the fore-lock to him in passing, & call him
'your Honour' and 'Squire', he turned the shoulder of scorn,
especially when he wore his finer ruffles and gold seals. ***
"Neither his personal nor real estate at this time was large;
but the latter he made the most of by jealously guarding it,
as of the former by his economies. Yet though his fields
& woods were well-watched by his gamekeepers & other dependants,
such was his dislike to intrusion that he never ceased
to watch the watchers. He stopped footpaths & enclosed lands.
He made no exception to these sentiments in the case of his
own villagers, whose faces were never to be seen in his
private grounds except on pressing errands. ***
"Outside his garden-wall, near the entrance to the
park, there lived a poor woman with an only child.
This child had been so unfortunate as to trespass upon
the Squire's lawn on more than one occasion, in search of
flowers; & on this incident, trivial as it was, hung much that was afterwards
of concern to the house & lineage of the Squire. It seems that
The Squire had sent a message to the little
girl's mother concerning the nuisance; nevertheless, only
a few days afterwards, he saw the child there again. This
unwarrantable impertinence, as the owner & landlord
deemed it to be, irritated him exceedingly; &, with his walking
cane elevated, he began to pursue the child to teach her
by chastisement what she would not learn by exhortation. ***
"Naturally enough, As soon as the girl saw the Squire in pursuit of her
she gave a loud scream, & started off like a hare; but the
only entrance to the grounds being on the side which the
Squire's position commanded, she could not escape, & endeavoured
to elude him by winding, & doubling in her terrified
course. Finding her, by reason of her fleetness, not so easy
to chastise as he had imagined, her assailant lost his temper--never
a very difficult matter--& the more loudly she
screamed the more angrily did he pursue. A more untoward interruption
to the peace of a beautiful & secluded spot was never seen. ***
"The race continued, & the Squire now panting
with rage & exertion, drew closer to his victim.
To the horrified eyes of the child,
when she gazed over her shoulder, his face appeared like a
crimson mask set with eyes of fire. The glance sealed her fate in
the race. By a sudden start
forward he caught hold of her by the skirt of her short frock flying behind.
The clutch so terrified the child that, with a louder shriek than
ever, she leapt from his grasp, leaving the skirt in his
hand. But she did not go far; in a few more moments she fell on
the ground in an epileptic fit. ***
"This strange, &, but for its painfulness, even ludicrous
scene, was witnessed by one of the gardeners who had been
working near, & the squire haughtily directed him to take
the prostrate & quivering child home; after which he walked off, by no means
pleased with himself at the unmanly and undignified part which a violent
temper had led him to play. ***
"The mother of the girl was in great distress when she
saw her only child brought home in such a condition: she
was still more distressed, when in the course of a day or
two, it became doubtful if fright had not deprived the
girl entirely of her reason, as well as of her health. In
the singular, nervous malady which supervened the child's
hair came off, & her teeth fell from her gums; till no
one could have recognised in the mere scarce-crow that she
appeared, the happy & laughing youngster of a few weeks
before. ***
"The mother was a woman of very different mettle
from her poor child. Impassioned & determined in character, she was not
one to provoke with impunity. And her moods were as enduring as they were
deep. Seeing what a wreck her darling
had become she went on foot to the manor-house, &, contrary to
the custom of the villagers, rang at the front door, where she
asked to see that ruffian the master of the mansion who
had ruined her only child. The Squire sent out a reply
that he was very sorry for the girl, but that he could
not see her mother, accompanying his message by a
|solatium of five shillings. ***
"In the bitterness of her hate the woman threw the
five-shilling piece through the panes of the
dining-room window, & went home to brood again over
her idiotized child. ***
"One day a little later, when the girl was well enough to
play in the lane, she came in with a bigger girl who took care of her. ***
"'Death's Head--I be Death's Head--hee, hee!' said the child. ***
"'What?' said her mother, turning pale. ***
"The girl in charge explained that the other children
had nick-named her daughter 'Death's Head' since she had lost her hair,
from her resemblance to a skull. ***
"When the elder girl was gone the mother carefully regarded
the child from a distance. In a moment she saw
how cruelly apt the |sobriquet was. The bald scalp, the
hollow cheeks--by reason of the absence of teeth--and
the saucer eyes, the cadaverous hue, had, indeed, a startling likeness to that
bony relic of mortality. ***
"At this time the Squire was successfully soliciting
in marriage a certain Lady Cicely, the daughter of an
ancient & noble house in that county. During the ensuing
summer their nuptials were celebrated, & the young wife
brought home amid great rejoicing, & ringing of bells, &
dancing on the green followed by a bonfire after dark on the hill. The woman
whose disfigured child
was as the apple of her eye to her, saw all this, & the
greater the good fortune that fell to the Squire, the more
envenomed did she become. ***
"The newly-wedded lady was much liked by the
villagers in general, to whom she was very charitable,
intelligently entering into their lives & histories, & endeavouring to relieve
their cares. On a particular evening of the ensuing Autumn when she had
been a wife but a few months, after some
parish-visiting, she was returning homeward to dinner on foot,
her way to the mansion lying by the churchyard-wall. It was
barely dusk, but a full harvest moon was shining from
the east. At this moment of the Lady Cicely's return, it
chanced that the widow with her afflicted girl was crossing
the churchyard by the footpath from gate to gate. The churchyard was
in obscurity, being shaded by the yews. Seeing the
lady in the adjoining highway, the woman hastily
left the footpath with the child, crossed the graves to the shadow
of the wall outside which the lady was passing, & pulled off
the child's hood so that the baldness was revealed.
Whispering to the child, 'Grin at her my deary!'
She held up the little girl as high as she could, which was just
sufficient to disclose her face over the coping of the wall to
a person on the other side. ***
The moonlight fell upon the sepulchral face & head,
intensifying the child's daytime aspect till it was only too
much like that which had suggested the nickname. The unsuspecting &
timid lady--a perfect necrophobist by reason of the care with which everything
unpleasant had been kept out of her dainty life--saw the death-like shape,
&, shrieking with
sudden terror, fell to the ground. The lurking woman with her
child disappeared in another direction, & passed through
the churchyard gate homeward. ***
"The Lady Cicely's shriek brought some villagers to the
spot, they found her quivering, but not senseless; & she
was taken home. There she lay prostrate for some time under
the doctor's hands. ***
((II))
"It was the following spring, & the time drew near when
an infant was to be born to the Squire. Great was the anxiety
of all concerned, by reason of the fright & fall from which the Lady Cicely
had suffered in the latter part of the preceding year. However
the event which they were all expecting took place, &, to the joy
of her friends, no evil consequences seemed to have ensued
from the terrifying incident before-mentioned. The child
of Lady Cicely was a son & heir. ***
"Meanwhile the mother of the afflicted child watched
these things in silence. Nothing--not even malevolent
tricks upon those dear to him--seemed to interrupt the
prosperity of the Squire. An Uncle of his, a money-lender
in some northern city, died childless at this time, & left an
immense fortune to his nephew the Lady Cicely's husband;
who, fortified by this acquisition, now bethought himself
of a pedigree as a necessity, so as to be no longer beholden
to his wife for all the ancestral credit that his children
would possess. By searching in the County history he
happily discovered that one of the knights who came over
with William the Conqueror bore a name which somewhat resembled
his own, & from this he constructed an ingenious &
creditable genealogical tree; the only rickety point in which
occurred at a certain date in the previous century. It was the date
whereat it became necessary to show that his great-grandfather (in reality
a respectable village tanner) was the indubitable son of a
scion of the knightly family before alluded to, despite the
fact that this scion had lived in quite another part of the county.
This little artistic junction, however, was satisfactorily manipulated, &
the grafting was only to be perceived by the curious. ***
"His upward progress was uninterrupted. His only son grew
to be an interesting lad, though like his mother, exceedingly timid &
impressionable. With his now great wealth the Squire began to feel that his
present modest country-seat was insufficient, & there being
at this time an Abbey and its estates in the market, by
reason of some dispute in the family hitherto its owners,
the wealthy gentleman purchased it. The Abbey was of large
proportions, & stood in a lovely & fertile valley surrounded
by many attached estates. It had a situation fit for the home
of a prince, still more for that of an Archbishop. This historic
spot, with its monkish associations, its fish-ponds, woods,
village, abbey-church, and Abbots' bones beneath their
incised slabs, all passed into the possession of our illustrious
self-seeker. ***
"Meeting his son when the purchase was completed,
he smacked the youth on the shoulder. ***
'We've estates, & rivers,
& hills, & woods, and a beautiful Abbey unrivalled in
the whole of Wessex--Ha, ha!' he cried. ***
"'I dont care about Abbeys', said the gentle son. They
are gloomy; this one particularly.' ***
"'Nonsense!' said his father. 'And we've a village, &
the Abbey church into the bargain.' ***
"'Yes'
"'And dozens of mitred Abbots in their stone coffins underground,
and tons of monks--all for the same money . . . . .
Yes the very dust of those old rascals is mine! Ho-ho!' ***
"The son turned pale. 'Many were holy men', he murmured,
'despite the errors in their creed.' ***
"'D--- ye, grow up, & get married, & have a wife who'll
disabuse you of that ghostly nonsense!' cried the Squire. ***
"Not more than a year after this, several new peers were
created for political reasons with which we have no concern.
Among them was the subject of this legend; much to the
chagrin of some of his neighbours, who considered that
such rapid advancement was too great for his deserts.
On this point I express no opinion. ***
"He now resided at the Abbey, outwardly honoured by
all in his vicinity, though perhaps less honoured in their hearts; ;
and many were the visitors from far
& near. In due course his son grew to manhood & married
a beautiful woman, whose beauty nevertheless was no
greater than her taste & accomplishments. She could read
Latin & Greek; as well as one or two modern languages;
above all she had great skill as a sculptress in marble
& other materials. ***
"The poor widow in the other village seemed to have been blasted out of
existence by the success of her long-time enemy. The two could not thrive
side by side. She declined & died; her death having, happily,
been preceded by that of her child. ***
"Though the Abbey, with its little cells, & quaint
turnings, satisfied the curiosity of visitors, it did not satisfy
the noble lord (as the Squire had now become). Except the
Abbots' Hall, the rooms were miserably small for a baron
of his wealth, who expected soon to be an Earl, & the parent
of a line of Earls. ***
"Moreover the village was close to his very doors--on
his very lawn, & he disliked the proximity of its inhabitants,
his old craze for seclusion remaining with him still.
On Sundays they sat at service in the very Abbey Church
which was part of his own residence: Besides, as his
son had said, the conventual buildings formed a gloomy
dwelling, with its dark corridors, monkish associations,
& charnel-like smell. ***
"So he set to work, & did not spare his thousands.
First, he carted the village bodily away to a distance of a
mile or more, where he built new, and, it must be added,
convenient cottages, and a little barn-like church. The
spot on which the old village had stood was now included in
his lawn. But the villagers still intruded there, for they came
to ring the Abbey-Church bells--a fine peal, which they professed
(it is believed truly) to have an immemorial right to chime. ***
"As the natives persistently came & got drunk in the
ringing loft, the peer determined to put a stop to it. He sold
the ring of bells to a founder in a distant city, and to him one day
the whole beautiful set of them was conveyed on waggons
away from the spot on which they had hung & resounded
for so many centuries, & called so many devout souls to
prayer. When the villagers saw their dear bells going off
in procession, never to return, they stood at their doors & shed tears. ***
"It was just after this time that the first shadow
fell upon the new lord's life. His wife died. Yet the renovation
of the residence went on apace. The Abbey was pulled down wing by
wing, & a fair mansion built on its site. An additional
lawn was planned to extend over the spot where the cloisters
had been, & for that purpose the ground was to be lowered
and levelled. The flat tombs covering the Abbots were
removed one by one, as a necessity of the embellishment,
and the bones dug up. ***
Of these bones it seemed as if the excavators would
never reach the end. It was necessary to dig ditches &
pits for them in the plantations, & from their quantity there was
not much respect shown to them in wheeling them away. ***
((III.)))
"One morning, when the family were rising from breakfast,
a message was brought to my lord that more bones than ever
had been found in clearing away the ground for the ball-room,
and for the foundations of the new card-parlour. One of the
skeletons was that of a mitred abbot--evidently a very holy
person. What were they to do with it? ***
'Put him into any hole,' says my lord. ***
"The foreman came a second time, 'There is something
strange in those bones, my lord', he said; 'we remove them
by barrowfuls, & still they seem never to lessen. The more
we carry away, the more there are left behind.' ***
"The son looked disturbed, rose from his seat & went
out of the room. Since his mother's death he had been much depressed,
& seemed to suffer from nervous debility. ***
'Curse the bones!' said the peer, angry at the extreme
sensitiveness of his son, whose distress & departure he had
observed. 'More, do ye say? Throw the wormy rubbish
into any ditch you can find!' ***
"The servants looked uneasily at each other, for the
old Catholicism had not at that time ceased to be the
religion of these islands so long as it has now, & much
of its superstition & weird fancy still lingered in the
minds of the simple folk of this remote nook. ***
"The son's wife, the bright & accomplished woman afore-said, ((?))
to enliven the subject told her father-in-law that she
was designing a marble tomb for one of the London
churches, & the design was to be a very artistic allegory of Death & the
Resurrection; the figure of an Angel on one side, & that
of Death on the other--(according to the extravagant symbolism of that date,
when such designs as this were much in vogue) Might she, the lady asked, have
a skull to copy in marble for the head of Death? ***
"She might have them all, & welcome, her father-in-law
said. He would only be too glad. ***
"She went out to the spot where the new foundations were being dug,
& from the heap of bones chose the one of
those sad relics which seemed to offer the most perfect model for her
chisel. ***
"'It is the last Abbot's, my lady,' said the clerk of the works. ***
"'It will do,' said she; & directed it to be put into a
box & sent to the house in London where she & her husband
at present resided. ***
"When she met her husband that day he proposed that
they should return to town almost immediately. 'This is a
gloomy place,' said he. 'And if ever it comes into my
hands I shan't live here much. I've been telling the old
man of my debts, too, and he says he wont pay them . . . . .
be hanged if he will, until he has a grandson at least . . . . .
So lets be off.' ***
"They returned to town. This young man The son & heir, though quiet and
nervous, was not a very domestic character; he had many
friends of both sexes with whom his refined & accomplished wife
was unacquainted. Therefore she was thrown much upon
her own resources; & her gifts in carving were a real solace
to her. She proceeded with her design for the tomb of her acquaintance;
& the Abbot's skull having duly arrived, she
made use of it as her model as she had planned. ***
"Her husband being as usual away from home, she
worked at her self-imposed task till bed-time--& then
retired. When the house had been wrapped in sleep for some hours,
the front door was opened, & the absent one entered, a little the
worse for liquor--for drinking in those days was one of a nobleman's
accomplishments. . He ascended the stairs, candle in hand,
& feeling uncertain whether his wife had gone to bed or no,
entered her studio to look for her. Holding the candle
unsteadily above his head he perceived a heap of modelling clay;
behind it a sheeted figure with a death's-head above it--this
being in fact the draped dummy arrangement that
his wife had built up to be ultimately copied in marble for the allegory
she had designed to support the mural tablet: ***
"The sight seemed to overpower the gazer with horror;
the candle fell from his hand; & in the darkness he rushed
downstairs & out of the house. ***
"'I've seen it before!' he cried in mad & maudlin accents
'Where? when?' ***
"At four o'clock the next morning news was brought
to the house that my lord's heir had shot himself dead
with a pistol at a tavern not far off. ***
"His reason for the act was absolutely inexplicable
to the outer world. The heir to an enormous
property & a high title, the husband of a wife as gifted as she was
charming; of all the men in English society he seemed to
be the last likely to undertake such a desperate deed. ***
"Only a few persons--his wife not being one of them, though
his father was--knew of the sad circumstance in the life
of the suicide's mother the late Lady Cicely, a few months before his birth--in
which she was terrified nearly to death by the woman who held
up poor little 'Death's-Head', over the churchyard wall. ***
"Then people said that in this there was retribution
upon the ambitious lord for his wickedness; particularly that
of cursing the bones of the holy men of God. I give the superstition for
what it is worth. It is enough
to add, in this connection, that the old lord died, some say
like Herod, of the characteristics he had imputed to the
inoffensive human remains. However that may be in a few years the title was
extinct, & now not a relative or scion remains
of the family that bore his name. ***
"A venerable dissenter, a fearless ascetic of the
neighbourhood, who had been deprived of his opportunities
through some objections taken by the peer, preached a sermon
the Sunday after his funeral, & mentioning no names, significantly
took as his text, Isaiah XIV. 10-23:-- ***
"'Art thou also become weak as we? Art thou become like unto
us? Thy pomp is brought down to the grave, and the noise of
thy viols: the worm is spread under thee, & the worms cover
thee. How art thou fallen from Heaven, O Lucifer, son of the
morning! How art thou cut down to the ground, which didst
weaken the nations . . . . . I will rise up against him, saith
the Lord of hosts, & cut off from Babylon the name, and
remnant, & son, & nephew, saith the Lord.' ***
"Whether as a Christian moralist he was justified
in doing this I leave others to judge." ***
(([Blank line]))
Here The doctor concluded his story, & the thoughtfulness
which it had engendered upon his own features
spread over those of his hearers, as they sat with their
eyes fixed upon the fire.
((The End.))
((Old Mrs Chundle.))
The curate had not been a week in the parish, but the
autumn morning proving fine he thought he would make a
little water-colour sketch, showing a distant view of the
Corvsgate ruin two miles off, which he had passed on his
way hither. The sketch occupied him a longer time than he
had anticipated. The luncheon hour drew on, & he felt hungry. ***
Quite near him was a stone-built old cottage of respectable
& substantial build. He entered it, & was received by
an old woman. ***
"Can you give me something to eat, my good woman?" he said ***
She held her hand to her ear. ***
"Can you give me something for lunch?" he shouted "Bread-&-cheese--
anything will do." ***
A sour look crossed her face, & she shook her head. "That's unlucky,"
murmured he. She reflected & said more
urbanely: "Well, I'm going to have my own bit o' dinner in no such
long time hence. 'Tis taters & cabbage, boiled with a scantling
o' bacon. Would ye like it?--But I suppose 'tis the wrong sort, & that
ye would sooner have bread-&-cheese?" ***
"No, I'll join you. Call me when it is ready. I'm just
out here. ***
"Ay, I've seen ye. Drawing the old stones, baint ye?
Sure 'tis well some folk have nothing better to do with their time.
Very well. I'll call ye, when I've dished up." ***
He went out & resumed his painting; till in about seven
or ten minutes the old woman appeared at her door & held
up her hand. The curate washed his brush, went to the brook,
rinsed his hands & proceeded to the house. ***
"There's yours" she said, pointing to the table. "I'll have
my bit here." And she denoted the settle. ***
"Why not join me?" ***
"Oh, faith, I don't want to eat with my betters--not I."
And she continued firm in her resolution, & eat apart. ***
The vegetables had been well cooked over a wood fire--the
only way to cook a vegetable properly--& the bacon was well-boiled.
The curate ate heartily: he thought he had never tasted
such potatoes & cabbage in his life, which he probably had not,
for they had been just brought in from the garden, so that the
very freshness of the morning was still in them. When he had
finished he asked her how much he owed for the repast,
which he had much enjoyed. ***
"Oh, I don't want to be paid for that bit of snack 'a b'lieve!" ***
"But really you must take something. It was an excellent
meal." ***
"'tis all my own growing, that's true. But I don't
take money for a bit o' victuals. I've never done such a
thing in my life." ***
"I should feel much happier if you would." ***
She seemed unsettled by his feeling, & added as by compulsion,
"Well, then; I suppose twopence won't hurt ye?" ***
"Twopence?" ***
"Yes. Twopence." ***
"Why, my good woman, that's no charge at all. I am sure it
is worth this, at least." And he laid down a shilling. ***
"I tell 'ee 'tis |twopence, & no more!" she said
firmly. "Why,
bless the man, it didn't cost me more than threehalfpence,
& that leaves me a fair quarter profit. The bacon is the
heaviest item; that may perhaps be a penny. The taters I've
got plenty of, & the cabbage is going to waste." ***
He thereupon argued no further, paid the limited sum
demanded, & went to the door. "And where does that road
lead?" he asked, by way of engaging her in a little friendly conversation
before parting, & pointing to a white lane which
branched from the direct highway near her door. ***
"They tell me that it leads to Enckworth." ***
"And how far is Enckworth?" ***
"Three mile, they say. But God knows if 'tis true." ***
"You haven't lived here long, then?" ***
"Five-&-thirty year come Martinmas." ***
"And yet you have never been to Enckworth?" ***
"Not I. Why should I ever have been to Enckworth? I
never had any business there--a great mansion of a
place, holding people that I've no more doings with than
with the people of the moon. No: there's on'y two places
I ever go to from year's end to year's end: that's once
a fortnight to Anglebury, to do my bit o' marketing;
& once a week to my parish church." ***
"Which is that?" ***
"Why, Kingcreech." ***
"Oh--then you are in my parish?" ***
"Maybe. Just on the outskirts." ***
"I didn't know the parish extended so far. I'm a new comer. Well, I hope
we may meet again. Good afternoon to you." ***
When the curate was next talking to his rector he
casually observed: "By the way, that's a curious old soul
who lives out towards Corvsgate--old Mrs--I don't know her
name--A deaf old woman." ***
"You mean old Mrs Chundle, I suppose." ***
"She tells me she's lived there five-&-thirty years, & has
never been to Enckworth, three miles off. She goes to two
places only, from year's end to year's end--to the market town,
& to church on Sundays." ***
"To church on Sundays. H'm. She rather exaggerates
her travels, to my thinking. I've been rector here thirteen years,
& I have certainly never seen her at church in my time." ***
"A wicked old woman. What can she think of herself
for such deception! ***
"She didn't know you belonged here when she said it, & could find out the
untruth of her story. I warrant she wouldn't have said it
to me!" And the rector chuckled. ***
On reflection the curate felt that this was decidedly a case
for his ministrations, & on the first spare morning he strode
across to the cottage beyond the ruin. He found its occupant
of course at home. ***
"Drawing picters again?" she asked, looking up from
the hearth, where she was scouring the fire-dogs. ***
"No, I come on more important matters, Mrs Chundle.
I am the new curate of this parish." ***
"You said you was last time. And after you had told
me & went away I said to myself, he'll be here again
sure enough, hang me if I didn't. And here you be." ***
"Yes. I hope you don't mind?" ***
"Oh, no. You find us a roughish lot, I make no doubt?" ***
"Well, I won't go into that. But I think it was a very
culpable--unkind thing of you to tell me you came to
church every Sunday, when I find you've not been seen there
for years." ***
"Oh--did I tell 'ee that?" ***
"You certainly did." ***
"Now I wonder what I did that for?" ***
"I wonder too." ***
"Well, you could ha' guessed, after all, that I didn't come
to any service. Lord, what's the good o' my lumpering all the
way to church & back again, when I'm as deaf as a
plock? Your own commonsense ought to have told 'ee that
'twas but a figure o' speech, seeing you was a pa'son." ***
"Don't you think you could hear the service if you were
to sit close to the reading-desk & pulpit?" ***
"I'm sure I couldn't. O no--not a word. Why I couldn't
hear anything even at that time when Isaac Coggs used
to cry the Amens out loud beyond anything that's done nowadays, &
they had the barrel-organ for the tunes--
years & years agone, when I was stronger in my narves than
now." ***
"H'm--I'm sorry. There's one thing I could do, which I would
with pleasure, if you'll use it. I could get you an ear-trumpet.
Will you use it?" ***
"Ay, sure. That I woll. I don't care what I use--'tis all
the same to me." ***
"And you'll come?" ***
"Yes. I may as well go there as bide here, I suppose." ***
The ear-trumpet was purchased by the zealous young
man, & the next Sunday, to the great surprise of the parishioners
when they arrived, Mrs Chundle was discovered in the front seat of the
nave of Kingscreech Church, facing the rest of the congregation
with an unmoved countenance. ***
She was the centre of observation through the whole morning service.
The trumpet, elevated at a high angle, shone & flashed in the
sitters' eyes as the chief object in the sacred edifice. ***
The curate could not speak to her that morning, & called
the next day to inquire the result of the experiment. As soon as
she saw him in the distance she began shaking her head. ***
"No; no;" she said decisively as he approached. "I knowed
'twas all nonsense" ***
"What?" ***
"'Twasn't a mossel o' good, & so I could have told 'ee before.
A wasting your money in jimcracks upon a' old 'ooman like me." ***
"You couldn't hear? Dear me--how disappointing." ***
"You might as well have been mouthing at me from the
top o' Creech Barrow." ***
"That's unfortunate." ***
"I shall never come no more--never--to be made such
a fool of as that again." ***
The curate mused. "I'll tell you what, Mrs Chundle. There's
one thing more to try, & only one. If that fails I suppose we shall
have to give it up. It is a plan I have heard of, though I have
never myself tried it; it's having a sound-tube fixed, with its
lower mouth in the seat immediately below the pulpit, where
you would sit, the tube running up inside the pulpit with its upper
end opening in a bell-mouth just beside the book-board. The
voice of the preacher enters the bell-mouth, & is carried down directly
to the listener's ear. Do you understand?" ***
"Exactly." ***
"And you'll come, if I put it up at my own expense?" ***
"Ay, I suppose. I'll try it, e'en though I said I wouldn't.
I may as well do that as do nothing, I reckon." ***
The kind hearted curate, at great trouble to himself, obtained
the tube & had it fixed vertically as described, the upper mouth
being immediately under the face of whoever should preach, & on the
following Sunday morning it was to be tried. As soon as he came
from the vestry the curate perceived to his satisfaction Mrs Chundle
in the seat beneath, erect & at attention, her head close to the
lower orifice of the sound-pipe,
& a look of great complacency that her soul required a special machinery
to save it, while other people's could be saved in a commonplace way.
The rector read the prayers
from the desk on the opposite side, which part of the service Mrs Chundle could
follow easily enough by the help of the prayer-book; & in due
course the curate mounted the eight steps into the wooden octagon,
gave out his text, & began to deliver his discourse.***
It was a fine frosty morning in early winter, & he had
not got far with his sermon when he became conscious of
a steam rising from the bell-mouth of the tube, obviously caused
by Mrs Chundle's breathing at the lower end, & it was accompanied
by a suggestion of onion-stew. However he preached on
awhile, hoping it would cease, holding in his left hand his
finest cambric handkerchief kept especially for Sunday morning
services. At length, no longer able to endure the odour, he
lightly dropped the handkerchief into the bell of the tube, without
stopping for a moment the eloquent flow of his words; &
he had the satisfaction of feeling himself in comparatively pure
air. ***
He heard a fidgeting below; & presently there arose to him
over the pulpit-edge a hoarse whisper: "The pipe's chokt!"
"Now, as you will perceive, my brethren," continued the
curate, unheeding the interruption; "by applying this test to
ourselves, our discernment of--" ***
"The pipe's chokt!" came up in a whisper yet louder
& hoarser.
"Our discernment of actions as morally good, or indifferent,
will be much quickened, & we shall be materially helped
in our--" ***
Suddenly came a violent puff of warm wind, & he beheld his
handkerchief rising from the bell of the tube & floating to the pulpit-floor.
The little boys in the gallery laughed, thinking it a miracle
Mrs Chundle had, in fact, applied her mouth to the bottom
end, blown with all her might, & cleared the tube. In a few
seconds the atmosphere of the pulpit became as before, to the
curate's great discomfiture. Yet stop the orifice again he
dared not, lest the old woman should make a still greater disturbance
& draw the attention of the congregation to this unseemly
situation. ***
"If you carefully analyze the passage I have quoted," he
continued in somewhat uncomfortable accents, "you will perceive
that it naturally suggests three points for consideration--" ***
("It's not onions: it's peppermint," he said to himself) ***
"Namely, mankind in its unregenerate state--" ***
("And cider.") ***
"The incidence of the law, & lovingkindness or grace, which
we will now severally consider--" ***
("And pickled cabbage. What a terrible supper she must have made!")***
"Under the twofold aspect of external & internal consciousness." ***
Thus the reverend gentleman continued strenuously for
perhaps five minutes longer: then he could stand it no more. Desperately
thrusting his thumb into the hole he drew the threads of
his distracted discourse together, the while hearing her blow
vigorously to dislodge the plug. But he stuck to the hole, &
brought his sermon to a premature close. ***
He did not call on Mrs Chundle the next week, a slight cooling
of his zeal for her spiritual welfare being manifest; but he encountered
her at the house of another cottager whom he was visiting; & she
immediately addressed him as a partner in the same enterprize. ***
"I could hear beautiful!" she said. "Yes; every word! Never
did I know such a wonderful machine as that there pipe. But
you forgot what you was doing once or twice, & put your handkercher
on the top o' en, & stopped the sound a bit. Please not
to do that again, for it makes me lose a lot. Howsomever, I
shall come every Sunday morning reg'lar now, please God." ***
The curate quivered internally. ***
"And will ye come to my house once in a while & read to me? ***
"Of course" ***
Surely enough the next Sunday the ordeal was repeated for
him. In the evening he told his trouble to the rector. The rector
chuckled. ***
"You've brought it upon yourself" he said. "You don't know
this parish so well as I. You should have left the old woman alone" ***
"I suppose I should!" ***
"Thank Heaven, she thinks nothing of my sermons, & doesn't
come when I preach. Ha, ha! ***
"Well," said the curate somewhat ruffled, "I must do something.
I cannot stand this. I shall tell her not to come." ***
"You can hardly do that." ***
"And I've half-promised to go & read to her. But--I shan't go." ***
"She's probably forgotten by this time that you promised." ***
A vision of his next Sunday in the pulpit loomed horridly
before the young man, & at length he determined to escape
the experience. The pipe should be taken down. The next morning
he gave directions, & the removal was carried out ***
A day or two later a message arrived from her, saying that
she wished to see him. Anticipating a terrific attack from the
irate old woman he put off going to her for a day, & when he
trudged out towards her house on the following afternoon it was
in a vexed mood. Delicately nurtured man as he was he had
determined not to re-erect the tube, & hoped
he might hit on some new |modus |vivendi, even if at any
inconvenience to Mrs Chundle, in a situation that had become
intolerable as it was last week-- ***
"Thank Heaven, the tube is gone," he said to himself as he
walked; "& nothing will make me put it up again!" ***
On coming near he saw to his surprise that the calico
curtains of the cottage windows were all drawn. He went
up to the door, which was ajar; & a little girl peeped through
the opening. ***
"How is Mrs Chundle?" he asked blandly. ***
"She's dead, sir" said the girl in a whisper ***
"Dead? . . . Mrs Chundle dead?" ***
"Yes, sir." ***
A woman now came. "Yes, 'tis so, sir. She went off quite
sudden-like about two hours ago. Well, you see, sir, she was over
seventy years of age, & last Sunday she was rather late in starting
for church, having to put her bit o' dinner ready before going
out; & was very anxious to be in time. So she hurried overmuch,
& runned up the hill, which at her time of life she ought not
to have done. It upset her heart, & she's been poorly all the week
since, & that made her send for 'ee. Two or three times she said
she hoped you would come soon,
as you'd promised to, & you were so staunch & faithful in wishing
to do her good, that she knew 'twas not by your own wish you didn't
arrive. But she would not let us send again, as it might trouble 'ee
too much, & there might be other poor folks needing you. She worried
to think she might not be able to listen to 'ee next Sunday, &
feared you'd be hurt at it, & think her remiss. But she was eager
to hear you again later on. However, 'twas ordained otherwise for the poor
soul, & she was soon gone. 'I've found a real friend at last,'
she said. 'He's a man in a thousand. He's not ashamed of a'
old woman, & he holds that her soul is worth saving as well
as richer people's.' She said I was to give you this." ***
It was a small folded piece of paper, directed to him
& sealed with a thimble. On opening it he found it to
be what she called her will, in which she had left him
her bureau, case-clock, settle, four-post bedstead, & framed sampler--in
fact all the furniture of any account that she possessed. ***
The curate went out, like Peter at the cock-crow.
He was a meek young man, & as he went his eyes were
wet. When he reached a lonely place in the lane he stood
still thinking, & kneeling down in the dust of the road rested
his elbow in one hand & covered his face with the other.
Thus he remained some minute or so, a black shape on
the hot white of the sunned trackway; till he rose, brushed the knees of
his trousers, & walked on.