<P 1>
 
                <H A pleasant conceited Co->
         <H medie, of Syr {Iohn Falstaffe,} and the>
               <H merry Wiues of {Windsor}.>
 
<H {Enter Iustice} Shallow, {Syr} Hugh, {Maister} Page,>
                   <H {and} Slender.>
 
  <Shal.>  NEre talke to me, Ile make a star-cham-
             ber matter of it.
           The Councell shall know it.         (mee.
  <Pag.>  Nay good maister {Shallow} be perswaded by
  <Slen.>  Nay surely my vncle shall not put it vp so.
  <Sir Hu.>  Wil you not heare reasons M. {Slenders}?
You should heare reasons.
  <Shal.>  Tho he be a knight, he shall not thinke to
       carrie it so away.
M. {page}  I will not be wronged. For you
Syr, I loue you, and for my cousen
He comes to looke vpon your daughter.
  <Pa.>  And heres my hand, and if my daughter
Like him so well as I, wee`l quickly haue it a match:
In the meane time let me intreat you to soiourne
Here a while. And on my life Ile vndertake
To make you friends.
  <Sir Hu.>  I pray you M. {Shallowes} let it be so.
 
-----------------------------------------------------------
 
<P 2>
 
The matter is pud to arbitarments.
The first man is M. {Page}, videlicet M. {Page}.
The second is my selfe, videlicet my selfe.    (tyr.
And the third and last man, is mine host of the gar-
 
      {Enter Syr} Iohn Falstaffe, Pistoll, Bardolfe,
                        {and} Nim.
 
Here is sir {Iohn} himselfe now, looke you.
  <Fal.>  Now M. {Shallow}, youle complaine of me
            to the Councell, I heare?
  <Shal.>  Sir {Iohn}, sir {Iohn}, you haue hurt my keeper,
Kild my dogs, stolne my deere.
  <Fal.>  But not kissed your keepers daughter.
  <Shal.>  Well this shall be answered.
  <Fal.>  Ile answere it strait. I haue done all this.
This is now answred.
  <Shal.>  Well, the Councell shall know it.
  <Fal.>  Twere better for you twere knowne in
Youle be laught at.                       (counsell,
  <Sir Hu.>  Good vrdes sir {Iohn}, good vrdes.
  <Fal.>  Good vrdes, good Cabidge.
{Slender} I brake your head,
What matter haue you against mee?
  <Slen.>  I haue matter in my head against you and
your cogging companions, {Pistoll} and {Nym}. They
carried mee to the Tauerne and made mee drunke,
and afterwards picked my pocket.
  <Fal.>  What say you to this {Pistoll}, did you picke
Maister {Slender`s} purse {Pistoll}?
  <Slen.>  I by this handkercher did he. Two faire
shouell boord shillings, besides seuen groats in mill
sixpences.
 
-----------------------------------------------------------
 
<P 3>
 
  <Fal.>  What say you to this {Pistoll}?
  <Pist.>  Sir {Iohn}, and Maister mine, I combat craue
Of this same laten bilbo. I do retort the lie
Even in thy gorge, thy gorge, thy gorge.
  <Slen.>  By this light it was he then.
  <Nym.>  Syr my honor is not for many words,
But if you run bace humors of me,
I will say mary trap. And there`s the humor of it.
  <Fal.>  You heare these matters denide gentleme,
You heare it.
 
   {Enter Mistresse} Foord, {Mistresse} Page, {and her}
                     {daughter} Anne.
 
  <Pa.>  No more now,
I thinke it be almost dinner time,
For my wife is come to meet vs.
  <Fal.>  Mistresse {Foord}, I thinke your name is,
If I mistake not.
                           {Syr} Iohn kisses her.
  <Mis. Ford.>  Your mistake sir is nothing but in the
Mistresse. But my husbands name is {Foord} sir.
  <Fal.>  I shall desire your more acquaintance.
The like of you good misteris {Page}.
  <Mis. Pa.>  With all my hart sir {Iohn}.
Come husband will you goe?
Dinner staies for vs.
  <Pa.>  With all my hart, come along Gentlemen.
 
                             {Exit all, but} Slender {and}
                             {mistresse} Anne.
                                              {Anne.}
 
-----------------------------------------------------------
 
<P 4>
 
  <Anne.>  Now forsooth why do you stay me?
What would you with me?
  <Slen.>  Nay for my owne part, I would litle or no-
thing with you. I loue you well, and my vncle can
tell you how my liuing stands. And if you can loue
me why so. If not, why then happie man be his
dole.
  <An.>  You say well M. {Slender}.
But first you must giue me leaue to
Be acquainted with your humor,
And afterward to loue you if I can.
  <Slen.>  Why by God, there`s neuer a man in chri-
stendome can desire more. What haue you Beares
in your Towne mistresse {Anne}, you dogs barke so?
  <An.>  I cannot tell M. {Slender}, I thinke there be.
  <Slen.>  Ha how say you? I warrant your afeard of
a Beare let loose, are you not?
  <An.>  Yes trust me.
  <Slen.>  Now that`s meate and drinke to me,
Ile run yon to a Beare, and take her by the mussell.
You neuer saw the like.
But indeed I cannot blame you,
For they are maruellous rough things.
  <An.>  Will you goe in to dinner M. {Slender}?
The meate staies for you.
  <Slen.>  No faith not I. I thanke you,
I cannot abide the smell of hot meate
Nere since I broke my shin. Ile tel you how it came
By my troth. A Fencer and I plaid three venies
For a dish of stewd prunes, and I with my ward
Desending my head, he hot my shin. Yes faith.
 
-----------------------------------------------------------
 
<P 5>
 
                   {Enter Maister} Page.
 
  <Pa.>  Come, come Maister {Slender}, dinner staies for
       you.
  <Slen.>  I can eate no meate, I thanke you.
  <Pa.>  You shall not choose I say.
  <Slen.>  Ile follow you sir, pray leade the way.
Nay be God misteris {Anne}, you shall goe first,
I haue more manners then so, I hope.
  <An.>  Well sir, I will not be troublesome.
                             {Exit omnes.}
 
        {Enter sir} Hugh {and} Simple, {from dinner.}
 
  <Sir Hu.>  Hark you {Simple}, pray you beare this letter
to Doctor, {Cayus} house, the French Doctor.  He is
twell vp along the street, and enquire of his house
for one mistris {Quickly}, his woman, of his try nurse,
and deliuer this Letter to her, it tis about Maister
  <Slender.>  Looke you, will you do it now?
  <Slim.>  I warrant you Sir.
  <Sir Hu.>  Pray you do, I must not be absent at the
             grace.
I will goe make an end of my dinner,
There is pepions and cheese behinde.
                             {Exit omnes.}
 
      {Enter sir} Iohn Falstaffes {Host of the Garter},
           Nym, Bardolfe, Pistoll, {and the boy.}
 
  <Fal.>  Mine Host of the Garter.
 
-----------------------------------------------------------
 
<P 6>
 
  <Host.>  What ses my bully Rooke?
Speake schollerly and wisely.
  <Fal.>  Mine Host, I must turne away some of my
          followers.
  <Host.>  Discard bully, {Hercules} cassire.
Let them wag, trot, trot.
  <Fal.>  I sit at tem pound a weeke.
  <Host.>  Thou art an Emperour {Caesar, Phesser} and
           {Kesar} bully.
Ile entertaine {Bardolfe}. He shall tap, he shall draw.
Said I well, bully {Hector?}
  <Fal.>  Do good mine Host.
  <Host.>  I haue spoke. Let him follow. {Bardolfe}
Let me see thee froth, and lyme. I am at
A word. Follow, follow.
                             {Exit Host.}
  <Fal.>  Do {Bardolfe}, a Tapster is a good trade,
An old cloake will make a new Ierkin,
A withered seruingman, a fresh Tapster:
Follow him {Bardolfe}.
  <Bar.>  I will sir, Ile warrant you Ile make a good
          shift to liue.
                             {Exit Bardolfe.}
 
  <Pif.>  O bace gongarian wight, wilt thou the spic-
          ket willd?
  <Nym.>  His minde is not heroick. And theres the
          humor of it.
  <Fal.>  Well my Laddes, I am almost out at the
          heeles.
  <Pis.>  Why then let cybes infue.
  <Nym.>  I thanke thee for that humor.
 
-----------------------------------------------------------
 
<P 7>
 
  <Fal.>  Well I am glad I am so rid of this tinder
          Boy.
His stealth was too open, his filching was like
An vnskillfull finger, he kept not time.
  <Nym.>  The good humor is to steale at a minutes
          rest.
  <Pis.>  Tis so indeed {Nym}, thou hast hit it right.
  <Fal.>  Well, afore God, I must cheat, I must cony
          catch.
Which of you knowes {Foord} of this Towne?
  <Pis.>  I ken the wight, he is of substance good.
  <Fal.>  Well my honest Lads, Ile tell you what
I am about.
  <Pis.>  Two yards and more.
  <Fal.>  No gibes now {Pistoll}: indeed I am two yards
In the wast, but now I am about no wast:
Briefly, I am about thrift you rogues you,
I do intend to make loue to {Foords} wife,
I espie entertainment in her. She carues, she
Discourses. She giues the lyre of inuitation,
And euery part to be constured rightly is, I am
Syr {Iohn Falstaffes}.
  <Pis.>  He hath studied her well, out of honestie
Into English.
  <Fal.> Now the report goes, she hath all the rule
Of her husbands purse. She hath legians of angels.
  <Pis.>  As many diuels attend her.
And to her boy say I.
  <Fal.>  Heree`s a Letter to her. Heeres another to
          misteris {Page}.
 
-----------------------------------------------------------
 
<P 8>
 
Who euen now gaue me good eies too, examined
my exteriors with such a greedy intentio/, with the
beames of her beautie, that it seemed as she would
a scorged me vp like a burning glasse. Here is ano-
ther Letter to her, shee beares the purest too. They
shall be Excheckers to me, and Ile be cheaters to
them both. They shall be my East and West Indies
and Ile trade to them both. Heere beare thou this
Letter to mistresse {Foord}. And thou this to mistresse
{Page}. Weeke thriue Lads, we will thriue.
  <Pist.>  Shall I sir Panderowes of {Troy} become?
And by my sword were steele.
Then Lucifer take all.
  <Nym.>  Here take your humor Letter againe,
For my part, I will keepe the hauior
Of reputation. And theres the humor of it.
  <Fal.>  Here firrha beare me these Letters titely,
Saile like my pinnice to the golden shores:
Hence flaues, avant. Vanish like hailstones, goe.
{Falstaffe} will learne the humor of this age,
French thrift you rogue, my selfe and scirted Page.
                             {Exit Falstaffe,}
                             {and the Boy.}
  <Pis.>  And art thou gone? Teaster Ile haue in pouch
When thou shalt want, bace Phrygian Turke.
  <Nym.>  I haue operations in my head, which are
          humors of reuenge.
  <Pis.>  Wilt thou reuenge?
  <Nym.>  By {Welkin} and her Fairies.
  <Pis.>  By wit, or sword?
  <Nym.>  With both the humors I will disclose this
loue to {Page.} Ile poses him with Iallowes,
 
-----------------------------------------------------------
 
<P 9>
 
And theres the humor of it.
  <Pis.>  And I to {Foord} will likewise tell
How {Falstaffe} varlot vilde,
Would haue her loue, his doue would proue,
And eke his bed defile.
     <Nym.>  Let vs about it then.                (on.
  <Pis.>  Ile second thee : sir Corporall {Nym} troope
                             {Exit omnes.}
          {Enter Mistresse} Quickly, {and} Simple.
 
  <Quic.>  M. {Slender} is your Masters name say you?
  <Sim.>  I indeed that is his name.
  <Quic.>  How say you? I take it hee is somewhat a
           weakly man:
And he has as it were a whay coloured beard.
  <Sim.>  Indeed my maisters beard is kane colored.
  <Quic.>  Kane colour, you say well.
And is this Letter from sir {Yon}, about Misteris {An},
Is it not?
  <Sim.>  I indeed is it.
  <Quic.>  So: and your Maister would haue me as
it twere to speak to misteris {Anne} concerning him?
I promise you my M. hath a great affectioned mind
to mistresse {Anne} himselfe. And if he should know
that I should as they say, giue my verdit for any one
but himselfe, I should heare of it throughly : For
I tell you friend, he puts all his priuities in me.
  <Sim.>  I by my faith you are a good staie to him.
  <Quic.>  Am I? I and you knew all yowd say so:
Washing, brewing, baking, all goes through my
Or else it would be but a woe house.  (hands,
  <Sim.>  I beshrow me, one woman to do all this,
 
-----------------------------------------------------------
 
<P 10>
 
Is very painfull.
  <Quic.>  Are you auised of that? I, I warrant you,
Take all, and paie all, all goe through my hands,
And he is such a honest man, and he should chance
To come home and finde a man here, we should
Haue no who with him. He is a parlowes man.
  <Sim.>  Is he indeed?
  <Quic.>  Is he quoth you? God keepe him abroad:
Lord blesse me, who knocks there?
For Gods sake step into the Counting house,
While I goe see whose at doore.
                        {He steps into the Counting-house.}
What {Iohn Rugby, Iohn,}
Are you come home sir alreadie?
                        {And she opens the doore.}
  <Doct.>  I begar I be forget my oyntment,
Where be {Iohn Rugby}?
 
                        {Enter Iohn.}
  <Rug.>  Here sir, do you call?
  <Doc.>  I you be {Iohn Rugbie}, and you be {lack Rugby}
Goe run vp met your heeles, and bring away
De oyntment in de vindoe present:
Make hast {Iohn Rugbie}. O I am almost forget
My simples in a boxe in de Counting house:
O Ieshu vat be here, a deuella, a deuella?
My Rapier {Iohn Rugby}, Vat be you, vat make
You in my Counting house?
I tinck you be a teese.
  <Quic.>  Ieshu blesse me, we are all vndone.
  <Sim.>  O Lord sir no : I am no theese.
I am a Seruingman :
 
-----------------------------------------------------------
 
<P 11>
 
My name is {Iohn Simple}, I brought a Letter sir
From my M. {Slender}, about misteris {Anne Page}.
Sir : Indeed that is my comming.
  <Doc.>  I begar is dat all? {Iohn Rugby} giue a ma pen
An Inck:tarche vn pettit tarche a little.
                               {The Doctor writes.}
  <Sim.>  O God what a furious man is this?
  <Quic.>  Nay it is well he is no worse:
I am glad he is so quiet.
  <Doc.>  Here giue dat same to sir {Hu}, it berve chale/ge
Begar tell him I will cut his nase, will you?
  <Sim.>  I sir, Ile tell him so.               (may,
  <Doc.>  Dat be vell, my Rapier {Iohn Rugby}, follow
                             {Exit Doctor.}
  <Quic.>  Well my friend, I cannot tarry, tell your
Maister Ile doo what I can for him,
And so farewell.
  <Sim.>  Mary will I, I am glad I am got hence.
                             {Exit omnes.}
 
            {Enter Mistresse} Page, {reading of}
                       {a Letter.}
                                              (reason,
  <Mis. Pa.>  Mistresse {Page} I loue you. Aske me no
Because theyr impossible to alledge. Your faire,
And I am fat. Yon loue sack, so do I:
As I am sure I haue no mind but to loue,
So I know you haue no hart but to grant (knowes
A souldier doth not vse many words, where a
A letter may serue for a sentence. I loue you,
And so I leaue you.
                    {Yours Syr Iohn Falstaffe.}
 
-----------------------------------------------------------
 
<P 12>
 
Now Ieshu blesse me, am I methomorphised?
I thinke I knowe not my selfe. Why what a Gods
name doth this man see in me, that thus he shootes
at my honestie? Well but that I knowe my owne
heart, I should scarcely perswade my selfe I were
hand. Why what an vnreasonable woolsack is this.
He was neuer twice in my companie, and if then I
thought I gaue such assurauce with my eies, I de pul
them out, they should neuer see more holie daies.
Well, I shall trust fat men the worse while I liue for
his sake. O God that I knew how to be reuenged of
him. But in good time, heeres mistresse {Foord}.
                   {Enter Mistresse} Foord.
  <Mis. For.>  How now Mistris {Page}, are you reading
Loue Letters? How do you woman?
  <Mis. Pa.>  O woman I am I know not what:
In loue vp to the hard eares. I was neuer in such a
  case in my life.
  <Mis. Ford.>  In loue, now in the name of God with
        whom?
  <Mis. Pa.>  With one that sweares he loues me,
And I must not choose but do the like againe:
I prethie looke on that Letter.
  <Mis. For.>  Ile match your letter iust with the like,
Line for line, word for word. Only the name
Of misteris {Page} and misteris {Foord} disagrees:
Do me the kindnes to looke vpon this.
  {Mis. Pa.}  Why this is right my letter.
O most notorious villaine!
Why what a bladder of iniquitie is this?
Lets be reuenged what so ere we do.
  <Mis. For.>  Reuenged, if we liue weel be reuenged.
 
-----------------------------------------------------------
 
<P 13>
 
O Lord if my husband should see this Letter,
I faith this would euen giue edge to his Iealousie.
            {Enter Ford, Page, Pistoll and Nym.}
  <Mis. Pa.>  See where our husbands are,
Mine`s as far from Iealousie,
As I am from wronging him.
  <Pis.>  {Ford} the words I speake are forst:
Beware, take heed, for {Falstaffe} loues thy wife:
When {Pistoll} lies do this.
  <Ford.>  Why sir my wife is not young.
  <Pis.>  He wooes both yong and old, both rich and
None comes amis. I say he loues thy wife: (poore
Faire warning did I giue, take heed,
For sommer comes, and Cuckoo birds appeare:
{Page} belieue him what he ses. Away sir Corporall
                             {Exit Pistoll:}    ({Nym.}
  <Nym.>  Syr the humor of it is, he loues your wife,
I should ha borne the humor Letter to her:
I speake and I auouch tis true: My name is {Nym.}
Farwell, I loue not the humor of bread and cheese:
And theres the humor of it.  {Exit Nym.}
  <Pa.>  The humor of it, quoth you:
Heres a fellow frites humor out of his wits.
  <Mis. Pa.>  How now sweet hart, how dost thou?
                  {Enter Mistresse Quickly.}
  <Pa.>  How now man? How do you mistris {Ford}?
  <Mis. For.>  Well I thanke you good M. {Page}.
How now husband, how chaunce thou art so me-
        lancholy?
  <Ford.>  Melancholy, I am not melancholy.
Goe get you in, goe.
  <Mis. For.>  God saue me, see who yonder is:
 
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<P 14>
 
Weele set her a worke in this businesse.
  <Mis. Pa.>  O sheele serue excellent.
Now you come to see my daughter {An} I am sure.
  <Quic.>  I forsooth that is my comming.
  <Mis. Pa.>  Come go in with me. Come Mis. {Ford.}
  <Mis. For.>  I follow you Mistresse {Page.}
                             {Exit Mistresse} Ford, {Mis.} Page, {and} Quickly.
  <For.>  M. {Page} did you heare what these fellowes
  <Pa.>  Yes M. {Ford}, what of that sir?      (said?
  <For.>  Do you thinke it is true that they told vs?
  <Pa.>  No by my troth do I not,
I rather take them to be paltry lying knaues,
Such as rather speakes of enuie,
Then of any certaine they haue
Of any thing. And for the knight, perhaps
He hath spoke merrily, as the fashion of fat men
Are: But should he loue my wife,
I faith Ide turne her loose to him:
And what he got more of her,
Then ill lookes, and shrowd words,
Why let me beare the penaltie of it.
  <For.>  Nay I do not mistrust my wife,
Yet Ide be loth to turne them together,
A man may be too confident.
                   {Enter Host and Shallow.}
  <Pa.>  Here comes my ramping host of the garter,
Ther`s either licker in his hed, or mony in his purse,
That he lookes so merily. Now mine Host?
  <Host.>  God blesse you my buly rookes, God blesse
Cauelera Iustice I say.                        (you.
  <Shal.>  At hand mine host, at hand. M. {Ford} god den
God den an twentie good M. {Page}.              (to you.
 
-----------------------------------------------------------
 
<P 15>
 
I tell you sir we haue sport in hand.
  <Host.>  Tell him cauelira Iustice: tell him bully
  <Ford.>  Mine Host a the garter:           (rooke.
  <Host.>  What ses my bully rooke?
  <Ford.> A word with you sir.
                      Ford {and the Host talkes.}
  <Shal.>  Harke you sir, Ile tell you what the sport
Doctor {Cayus} and sir {Hu} are to fight,    (shall be,
My merrie Host hath had the measuring
Of their weapons, and hath                       (eare:
Appointed them contrary places. Harke in your
  <Host.>  Hast thou no shute against my knight,
My guest, my cauellira:
  <For.>  None I protect: But tell him my name
Is {Rrooke}, onlie for a Iest.
  <Host:>  My hand bully: Thou shalt
Haue egres and regres, and thy
Name shall be {Brooke:} Sed I well bully Hector?
  <Shal.>  I tell you what M. {Page}, I beleeue
The Doctor is no Iester, heele laie it on:
For tho wee be Iustices and Doctors,
And Churchmen, yet we are
The sonnes of women M. {Page}:
  <Pa.>  True maister {Shallow}:
  <Shal.>  It will be found so maister {Page}:
  <Pa.>  Maister {Shallow} you your selfe
Haue bene a great fighter,
Tho now a man of peace:
  <Shal.>  M. {Page} I haue seene the day that yong
Tall fellowes with their stroke & their passado,
I haue made them trudge Maister {Page},
A tis the hart the hart doth all: I
 
-----------------------------------------------------------
 
<P 16>
 
Haue seene the day, with my two hand sword
I would a made you soure tall Fencers
Scipped like Rattes.
  <Host.>  Here boyes, shall we wag, shall we wag.
  <Shal.>  Ha with you mine host.
                             {Exit Host and Shallow.}
  <Pa.>  Come M. {Ford}, shall we to dinner?
I know these fellowes sticks in your minde.
  <For.>  No in good sadnesse not in mine:
Yet for all this Ile try it further,
I will not leaue it so:
Come M. {Page}, shall we to dinner?
  <Pa.>  With all my hart sir, Ile follow you.
                             {Exit omnes.}
                {Enter Syr Iohn, and Pistoll.}
  <Fal.>  Ile not lend thee a peny.
  <Pis.>  I will retort the sum in equipage.
  <Fal.>  Not a pennie: I haue grated
vpon my good friends for 3. repriues, for you and
your Coach fellow {Nym}, else you might a looked
thorow a grate like a geminy of babones. I am dam-
ned in hell for swearing to Gentlemen your good
souldiers and tall fellowes: And when mistrisse {Bri-}
{get} lost the handle of her Fan, I tooked on my ho-
thou hadst it not.
  <Pis.>  Didst thou not share? hadst thou not fif-
          teene pence?
  <Fal.>  Reason you rogue, reason.
Doest thou thinke Ile indanger my soule gratis?
In briefe, hang no more about mee, I am no gybit
for you. A short knife and a throng to your manner
 
-----------------------------------------------------------
 
<P 17>
 
of pickt hatch, goe. Youle not beare a Letter for me
you rogue you: you stand vpon your honor. Why
thou vnconfinable basenesse thou, tis as much as I
can do to keep the termes of my honor precies. I, I
my selfe sometimes, leauing the feare of God on
the left hand, am faine to shuffel, to filch & to lurch.
And yet you stand vpon your honor, you rogue.
You, you.
  <Pis.>  I do recant: what wouldst thou more of man?
  <Fal.>  Well, go too, away, no more.
                  {Enter Mistresse Quickly.}
  <Quic.>  Good you god den sir.
  <Fal.>  Good den faire wife.
  <Quic.>  Not so ant like your worship.
  <Fal.>  Faire mayd then.
  <Quic.>  That I am Ile be sworne, as my mother
The first houre I was borne.                 (was
Sir I would speake with you in priuate.
  <Fal.>  Say on I prethy, heeres none but my owne
          houshold.
  <Quic.>  Are they so? Now God blesse them, and
           make them his seruants.
Syr I come from Mistresse {Foord}.
  <Fal.>  So from Mistresse {Foord}. Goe on.
  <Quic.>  I sir, she hath sent me to you to let you
Vnderstand she hath receiuted your Letter,     (dit.
And let me tell you, she is one stands vpon her cre-
  <Fal.>  Well, come Misteris {Ford}, Misteris {Ford}.
  <Quic.>  I sir, and as they say, she is not the first
Hath bene led in a fooles paradice.
  <Fal.>  Nay prethy be briefe my good she {Mercury}.
  <Quic.>  Mary sir, sheed haue you meet her between
            eight and nine.
 
-----------------------------------------------------------
 
<P 18>
 
  <Fal.>  So betweene eight and nine:      (birding,
  <Quic.>  I forsooth, for then her husband goes a
  <Fal.>  Well commend me to thy mistris, tel her
I will not faile her. Boy giue her my purse.
  <Quic.>  Nay sir I haue another arant to do to you
From misteris {Page:}
  <Fal.>  From misteris {Page}? I prethy what of her?
  <Quic.>  By my troth I think you work by Inchant-
Els they could neuer loue you as they doo: (ments,
  <Fal.>  Not I, I assure thee: setting the atraction of my
Good parts aside, I vse no other inchantments:
  <Quic.>  Well sir, she loues you extreemly:
And let me tell you, shees one that feares God,
And her husband giues her leaue to do all:
For he is not halfe so iealousie as M. {Ford} is.  ({Ford},
  <Fal.>  But harke thee, hath misteris {Page} & mistris
Acquainted each other how dearly they loue me?
  <Quic.>  O God no sir: there were a iest indeed.
  <Fol.>  Well farwel, commend me to misteris {Ford},
I will not faile her say.
  <Quic.>  God be with your worship
                             {Exit Mistresse Quickly.}
                       {Enter Bardolfe.}
  <Bar.>  Sir heer`s a Gentleman,
One M. {Brooke}, would speak with you,
He hath sent you a cup of sacke.
  <Fal.>  M. {Brooke}, hees welcome: Bid him come vp,
Such {Brookes} are alwaies welcome to me:
A {Iack}, will thy old bodie yet hold out?
Wilt thou after the expence of so much mony
Benow a gainer? Good bodie I thanke thee,
And Ile make more of thee then I ha done:
 
-----------------------------------------------------------
 
<P 19>
 
Ha, ha, misteris {Ford}, and misteris {Page}, haue
I caught you a the hip? go too.
             {Enter} Foord {disguised like} Brooke.
  <For.>  God saue you sir.
  <Fal.>  And you too, would you speak with me?
  <Fal.>  Mary would I sir, I am somewhat bolde to
My name is {Brooke}.                 (trouble you,
  <Fal.>  Good M. {Brooke} your verie welcome.
  <For.>  I faith sir I am a gentleman and a traueller,
That haue seen somewhat. And I haue often heard
That if mony goes before, all waies lie open.
  <Fal.>  Mony is a good souldier sir, and will on.
  <For.>  I faith sir, and I haue a bag here,
Would you wood helpe me to beare it.
  <Fal.>  O Lord, would I could tell how to deserue
To be your porter.
  <For.>  That may you easily sir {Iohn}: I haue an ear-
Sute to you. But good sir {Iohn} when I haue       (nest
Told you my griefe, cast one eie of your owne
Estate, since your selfe knew what tis to be
Such an offender.
  <Fal.>  Verie well sir, proceed.
  <For.>  Sir I am deeply in loue with one {Fords} wife
Of this Towne. Now sir {Iohn} you are a gentleman
Of good discoursing, well beloued among Ladies,
A man of such parts that might win 20. such as she.
  <Fal.>  O good sir.                         (loue
  <For.>  Nay beleeue it sir {Iohn}, for tis time. Now my
Is so grounded vpon her, that without her loue
I shall hardly liue.
  <Fal.>  Haue you importuned her by any means?
  <Ford.>  No neuer Sir.
 
-----------------------------------------------------------
 
<P 20>
 
  <Fal.>  Of what qualitie is your loue then?
  <Ford.>  Ifaith sir, like a faire house set vpon
Another mans foundation.                       (me?
  <Fal.>  And to what end haue you vnfolded this to
  <For.>  O sir, when I haue told you that, I told you
For she sir stands so pure in the firme state  (all:
Osher honestie, that she is too bright to be looked
Against: Now could I come against her
With some detectio, I should sooner perswade her
From her marriage vow, and a hundred such nice
Tearmes that sheele stand vpon.
  <Fal.>  Why would it apply well to the veruensie
        of your affection,                   (joy?
That another should possesse what you would en-
Meethinks you prescribe verie proposterously
To your selfe.
  <For.>  No sir, for by that meanes should I be cer-
         taine of that which I now misdoubt.
  <Fal.>  Well M. {Brooke}, Ile first make bold with your
Next, giue me your hand. Lastly, you shall         (mony,
And you will, enjoy {Fords} wife.
  <For.>  O good sir.
  <Fal.>  M. {Brooke}, I say you shall.
  <Ford.>  Want no mony Syr {Iohn}, you shall want
  <Fal.>  Want to Misteris {Ford} M. {Brooke}, (none.
You shall want none. Euen as you came to me,
Her spokes mate, her go between parted from me:
I may tell you M. {Brooke}, I am to meet her
Between 8. and 9. for at that time the Iealous
Cuckally knaue her husband wil be from home,
Come to me soone at night, you shall know how
I speed M. {Brooke}.
 
-----------------------------------------------------------
 
<P 21>
 
  <Ford.>  Sir do you know {Ford}?      (him not,
  <Fal.>  Hang him poore cuckally knaue, I know
And yet I wrong him to call him poore. For they
Say the cuckally knaue hath legions of angels,
For the which his wife seemes to me well fauored,
And Ile vse her as the key of the cuckally knaues
Coffer, and there`s my randeuowes.
  <Ford.>  Meethinkes sir it were very good that you
<Ford>, that you might shun him.               (knew
  <Fal.>  Hang him cuckally knaue, Ile stare him
Out of his wits, Ile keepe him in awe
With this my cudgell: It shall hang like a meator
Ore the wittolly knaues head, M. {Brooke} thou shalt
See I will predominate ore the peasant,
And thou shalt lie with his wife. M. {Brooke}
Thou shalt know him for kaue and cuckold,
Come to me soone at night.
                             {Exit Falstaffe.}
  <Ford.>  What a damned epicurian is this?
My wife hath sent for him, the plot is laid:
{Page} is an Asse, a foole. A secure Asse,
Ile sooner trust an Irishman with my
Aquauita bottle Sir {Hu} our parson with my cheese,
A theese to walke my ambling gelding, the my wife
With her selfe: then she plots, then she ruminates,
And what she thinkes in her hart she may effect,
Sheele breake her hart but she will effect it.
God b praised, God be praised for my iealousie:
Well Ile goe preuent him, the time drawes on,
Better an houre too soone, then a minit too late.
Gods my life cuckold, cuckold.
                             {Exit Ford.}
 
-----------------------------------------------------------
 
<P 22>
 
                 {Enter the Doctor and his man.}
 
  <Doc.>  {Iohn Rugbie} goe looke met your eies ore de
And spie and you can see de parson.            (stall,
  <Rug.>  Sir I cannot tell whether he be there or no,
But I see a great many comming.
  <Doc.>  Bully moy, mon rapier {Iohn Rugabie}, begar
Hearing be not so    dead as I shall make him.     de
          {Enter Shallow, Page, my Hosdt, and Slender.}
  <Pa.>  God saue you M. Doctor {Cayus}.
  <Shal.>  How do you M. Doctor?                (thee,
  <Host.>  God blesse thee my bully doctor, God blesse
  <Doc.>  Vat be all you, Van to tree com for, a
  <Host.>  Bully to see thee fight, to see thee foine, to
see thee trauerse, to see thee here, to see thee there,
to see thee passe the punto. The stock, the reuerse,
the distance: the montnce is a dead my francoyes?
Is a dead my Ethiopian? ha what ses my gallon?
my escuolapis? Is a dead bullies taile, is a dead?
  <Doc.>  Begar de preest be a coward Iack knaue,
He dare not shew his face.
  <Host.>  Thou art a castallian king vrinall.
{Hector} of {Greece} my boy.
  <Shal.>  He hath showne himselfe the wiser man
           M. Doctor:
Sir {Hugh} is a Parson, and you a Phisition. You must
Goe with me M. Doctor.
  <Host.>  Pardon bully Iustice. A word monsire
  <Doc.>  Mockwater, vat me dat?            (mockwater.
  <Host.>  That is in our English tongue, Vallot bully,
           vallor.
 
-----------------------------------------------------------
 
<P 23>
 
  <Doc.>  Begar den I haue as mockuater as de Inglish
Iack dog, knaue.
  <Host.>  He will claperclaw thee titely bully.
  <Doc.>  Claper clawe, vat be dat?
  <Host.>  That is, he will make thee amends.
  <Doc.>  Begar I do looke he shal claperclaw me de,
And Ile prouoke him to do it, or let him wag:
And moreouer bully, but M. {Page} and M. {Shallow},
And eke cauellira {Slender}, go you all ouer the fields
to Frogmore?
  <Pa.>  Sir {Hugh} is there, is hee?
  <Host.>  He is there: goe see what humor hee is in,
Ile bring the Doctor about by the fields:
Will it do well?
  <Shal.>  We wil do it my host. Farwel M. Doctor.
                             {Exit all but the Host and Doctor.}
  <Doc.>  Begar I will kill de cowardly Iack preest,
He is make a foole of moy.
  <Host.>  Let him die, but first sheth your impatience,
Throw cold water on your collor, com go with me
Through the fields to {Frogmore}, and Ile bring thee
Where mistris {An Page} is a feasting at a farm house,
And thou shalt wear his cried game: sed I wel bully
  <Doc.>  Begar excellent vel: and if you speak pour
moy, I shall procure you de gesse of all de gentelme
mon patinces. I begar I fall.
  <Host.>  for the which Ile be thy aduersary
To misteris {An Page}: Sed I well?
  <Doc.>  I begar excellent.
  <Host.>  Let vs wag then.
  <Doc.>  Alon, alon, alon.
                             {Exit omnes.}
 
-----------------------------------------------------------
 
<P 24>
 
                   {Enter Syr Hugh and Simple.}
 
                                           (espie
  <Sir Hu.>  I pray you do so much as see if you can
Doctor {Cayus} comming, and giue me intelligence,
Or bring me vrde if you please now.
  <Sim.>  I will Sir.
  <Sir Hu.>  Ieshu ples mee, how my hart trobes, and
And then she made him bedes of Roses,       (trobes,
And a thousand fragrant poses,
To shallow riueres. Now so had vdge me, my hart
Swelles more and more. Mee thinkes I can cry
Verie well. There dwelt a man in {Babylon},
To shallow riuers and to falles,
Melodious birds sing Madrigalles.
  <Sim.>  Sir here is M. {Page}, and M. {Shallow},
Comming hither as fast as they can.         (sword,
  <Sir Hu.>  Then it is verie necessary I put vp my
Pray giue me my cowne too, marke you.
               {Enter Page, shallow, and Slender.}
  <Pa.>  God saue you Sir {Hugh}.
  <Shal.>  God saue you M. parson               (now.
  <Sir Hu.>  God plesse you all from his mercies sake
  <Pa.>  What the word and the sword, doth that a-
         gree well?
  <Sir Hu.>  There is reasons and causes in all things,
I warrant you now.
  <Pa.>  Well Sir {Hugh}, we are come to craue
Your helpe and furtherance in a matter.
  <Sir Hu.>  What is I pray you?
  <Pa.>  I faith tis this sir {Hugh}. There is an auncient
friend of ours, a man of verie good sort, so at oddes
 
-----------------------------------------------------------
 
<P 25>
 
with one patience, that I am sure you would hartily
grieue to see him. Now Sir {Hugh}, you are a scholler
well red, and yerie perswasiue, we would intreate
you to see if you could intreat him to patience.
  <Sir Hu.>  I pray you who is it? Let vs know that.
  <Pa.>  I am shure you know him, tis Doctor {Cayus}
  <Sir Hu.>  I had as leeue you should tel me of a messe
He is an arant lowsie beggerly knaue: (of poredge,
And he is a coward beside.
  <Pa.>  Why Ile laie my life tis the man
That he should fight withall.
                {Enter Doctor and the Host, they}
                          {offer to fight.}
  <Shal.>  Keep them asunder, take away their wea-
  <Host.>  Disarme, let them question.      (pons.
  <Shal.>  Let them keep their limbs hole, and hack
           our English.
  <Doc.>  Hark van vrd in your eare. You be vn daga
And de Iack, coward preest.
  <Sir Hu.>  harke you, let vs not be laughing stockes
to other mens humors. By Ieshu I will knock your
vrinalls about your knaues cockcomes, for missing
your meetings and appointments.
  <Doc.>  O Ieshu mine host of de garter, {Iohn Rogoby},
Haue I not met him at de place he make apoint,
Haue I not?
  <Sir Hu.>  So kad vdge me, this is the pointment
Witnes by my Host of the garter.            (place,
  <Host.>  Peace I say gawle and gawlia, French and
Soule curer, and bodie curer.              (Wealch,
  <Doc.>  This is verie braue, excellent.
  <Host.>  Peace I say, heare mine host of the garter,
 
-----------------------------------------------------------
 
<P 26>
 
Am I wise? am I polliticke? am I Matchauil?
Shall I lose my doctor? No, he giues me the motios
And the potions. Shall I lose my parson, my sir <Hu>?
No, he giues me the prouerbes, and the nouerbes:
Giue me thy hand terestiall,
So giue me thy hand celestiall:
So boyes of art I haue deceiued you both,
I haue directed you to wrong places,
Your hearts are mightie, you skins are whole,
{Bardolfe} laie their swords to pawne. Follow me lads
Of peace, follow me. Ha, ra, la. Follow.  {Exit Host.}
  <Shal.>  Afore God a mad host, come let vs goe.
  <Doc.>  I begar haue you mock a may thus?
I will be euen met you my Iack Host.
  <Sir Hu.>  Giue me your hand Doctor {Cayus},
We be all friends:
But for mine hosts foolish knauery, let me alone.
  <Doc.>  I dat be vell begar I be friends.({Exit omnes}
                        {Enter M. Foord.}
  <For.>  The time drawes on he shuld come to my
Well wife, you had best worke closely,   (house,
Or I am like to goe beyond your cunning:
I now wil seek my guesse that comes to dinner,
And in good time see where they all are come.
          {Enter Shallow, Page, host, Slender, Doctor,}
                     {and sir Hugh.}
By my faith a knot well met: your welcome all.
  <Pa.>  I thanke you good M. {Ford}.
  <For.>  Welcome good M. {Page},
I would your daughter were here.
  <Pa.>  I thank you sir, she is very well at home.
  <Slen.>  Father {Page} I hope I haue your consent
For Misteris {Anne}?
 
-----------------------------------------------------------
 
<P 27>
 
  <Pa.>  You haue sonne {Slender}, but my wife here,
Is altogether for maister Doctor.
  <Doc.>  Begar I tanck her hartily:
  <Host.>  But what say you to yong Maister {Fenton}?
He capers, he daunces, he writes verses, he smelles
All April and May: he wil cary it, he wil carit,
Tis in his betmes he wil carite.
  <Pa.>  My host not with my cosent: the gentleman is
Wilde, he knowes too much: If he take her,
Let him take her simply: for my goods goes
With my liking, and my liking goes not that way.
  <For.>  Well I pray go home with me to dinner:
Besides your cheare Ile shew you wonders: Ile
Shew you a monster. You shall go with me
M. {Page}, and so shall you sir {Hugh}, and you Maister
  Doctor.                                         (two:
  S {Hu.}  If there be one in the company, I shal make
  <Doc.>  And dere be ven to, I fall make de tird:
  {Sir Hu}, In your teeth for shame,      (fairer
<Shal:> wel, wel, God be with you, we shall haue the
Wooing at Maister {Pages}:
                             {Exit Shallow and Slender,}
  <Host.>  Ile to my honest knight sir {Iohn Falstaffe,}
And drinke Canary with him.  {Exit host.}
  <Ford.>  I may chance to make him drinke in pipe
First come gentlemen.        {Exit omnes.}  (wine,
         {Enter Mistresse Ford, with two of her men, and}
               {a great buck busket.}
  <Mis. For.>  Sirrha, if your M. aske you whither
You carry this basket, say to the Launderers,
I hope you know how to bestow it?
  <Ser.>  I warrant you misteris {Exit seruant.}
 
-----------------------------------------------------------
 
<P 28>
 
  <Mis.For.>  Go get you in. Well sir {Iohn},
I beleeue I shall serue you such a trick,
You shall haue little mind to come againe.
                        {Enter Sir Iohn.}
  <Fal.>  Haue I caught my heauenlie Iewel?
Why now let me die. I haue liued long inough,
This is the happie houre I haue desired to see,
Now shall I sin in my wish,
I would thy husband were dead.
  <Mis. For.>  Why how then sir {Iohn}?
  <Fal.>  By the Lord, Ide make thee my Ladie.
  <Mis. For.>  Alas sir {Iohn}, I should be a verie simple
       Ladie.
  <Fal.>  Goe too, I see how thy eie doth emulate
          the Diamond.
And how the arched bent of thy brow
Would become the ship tire, the tire vellet,
Or anie Venetian attire, I see it.              (better.
  <Mis. For.>  A plaine kercher sir {Iohn}, would sit me
  <Fal.>  By the Lord thou art a traitor to saie so:
What made me loue thee? Let that perswade thee
Ther`s somewhat extraordinarie in thee: Goe too
  I loue thee:
Mistris {Ford}, I cannot cog, I cannot prate, like one
Of these fellowes that smels like Bucklers berie,
In simple time, but I loue thee,
And none but thee.
  <Mis. For.>  Sir {Iohn}, I am afraid you loue misteris
  <Fal.>  I thou mightest as wel saie           ({Page.}
I loue to walke by the Counter gate,
Which is as hatefull to me
As the reake of a lime kill.
 
-----------------------------------------------------------
 
<P 29>
 
                     {Enter Mistresse Page.}
 
  <Mis. Pa.>  Mistresse {Ford}, Mis. {Ford}, where are you?
  <Mis. For.>  O Lord step aside god sir {Iohn}.
                  {Falstaffe stands behind the aras.}
How now Misteris {Page} whats the matter?
  <Mis. Pa.>  Why your husband woman is coming,
With halfe {Windsor} at his heeles,
To looke for a gentleman that he ses
Is hid in his house : his wifes sweet hart.
  <Mis.For.>  Speak louder. But I hope tis not true
       Misteris {Page}.
  <Mis. Pa.>  Tis too true woman. Therefore if you
Haue any here, away with him, or your vndone for
   euer.
  <Mis. For.>  Alas mistresse {Page}, what shall I do?
Here is a gentleman my friend, how shall I do?
  <Mis.Pa.>  Gode body woman, do not stand what
shal I do, and what shall I do. Better any shift, rather
then you shamed. Looke heere, here`s a buck-bas-
ker, if hee be a man of any reasonable sise, heele in
here.
  <Mis.For.>  Alas I feare he is too big.
  <Fal,>  Let me see, let me see, Ile in, Ile in.
Follow your friends counsell.                    ({A side}.
  <Mis. Pa.>  Fie sir {Iohn} is this your loue? Go too.
  <Fal.>  I loue thee, and none but thee:
Helpe me to conuey me hence,
Ile neuer come here more.
 
-----------------------------------------------------------
 
<P 30>
 
{Sir Iohn goes into the basket, they put cloathes ouer him,}
  {the two men carries it away: Foord meetes it, and all}
  {the rest, Page, Doctor, Priest, Slender, Shallow.}
  <Ford.>  Come pray along, you shall see all.
How now who goes heare? whither goes this?
Whither goes it? set it downe.
  <Mis. For.>  Now let it go, you had best meddle with
               buck-washing.
  <Ford.>  Buck, good buck, pray come along,
Maister {Page}, take my keyes: helpe to search. Good
Sir {Hugh} pray come along, helpe a little, a little,
Ile shew you all.
  <Sir Hu.>  By Ieshu these are iealosies & distemperes.
                             {Exit omnes.}
  <Mis. Pa.>  He is in a pittifull taking.
  <Mis.>  I wonder what he thought
Whe my husband bad them set downe the basket.
  <Mis. Pa.>  Hang him dishonest slaue, we cannot vse
Him bad inough. This is excellent for your
Husbands iealousie.
  <Mis. For.>  Alas poore soule it grieues me at the hart,
But this will be a meanes to make him cease
His iealous fits, if {Falstaffes} loue increase.
  <Mis. Pa.>  Nay we wil send to {Falstaffe} once again,
Tis great pittie we should leaue him:
What wiues may be merry, and yet honest too.
  <Mis. For.>  Shall we be codemnd because we laugh?
Tis old, but true : still sowes eate all the draffe.
                           {Enter all.}
  <Mis. Pa.>  Here comes your husband, stand aside.
  <For.>  I can find no body within, it may be he lied.
  <Mis. Pa.>  Did you heare that?           {Mis. For.}
 
-----------------------------------------------------------
 
<P 31>
 
  <Mis. For.>  I, I, peace.
  <For.>  Well Ile not let it go so, yet Ile trie further.
  <S. Hu.>  By Ieshu if there be any body in the kitchin
Or the cuberts, or the presse, or the buttery,
I am an arrant Iew: Now God plesse me:
You serue me well, do you not?
  <Pa.>  Fie M {Ford} you are too blame:
  <Mis. Pa.>  Ifaith tis not well M. {Ford} to suspect
Her thus without cause.
  <Doc.>  No by my trot it be no vell:
  <For.>  Wel I pray bear with me, M.{Page} pardo me.
I suffer for it, I suffer for it:               (now:
  <Sir Hu:>  You suffer for a bad conscience looke you
  <Ford:>  Well I pray no more, another time Ile tell
           you all:
The mean time go dine with me, pardo me wife,
I am sorie. M. {Page} pray goe in to dinner,
Another time Ile tell you all.
  <Pa:>   Wel let it be so, and to morrow I inuite you all
To my house to dinner: and in the morning weele
A birding, I haue an excellent Hauke for the bush.
  <Ford:>  Let it be so: Come M. {Page}, come wife:
I pray you come in all, your welcome, pray come
  <Sir Hu:>  By so kad vdgme, M. {Fordes} is   (in.
Not in his right wittes:
                             {Exit omnes:}
  <Fal:>  {Bardolfe} brew me a pottle sack presently:
  <Bar:>  With Egges sir?
  <Fal:>  Simply of it selfe, Ile none of these pullets
In my drinke: goe make haste.                   (sperme
Haue I liued to be carried in a basket
 
-----------------------------------------------------------
 
<P 32>
 
and throwne into the Thames like a barow of But-
chers offoll. Well, and I be serued such another
tricke, Ile giue them leaue to take out my braines
and butter them, and giue them to a dog for a new-
yeares gift. Sblood, the rogues slided me in with as
little remorse as if they had gone to drowne a blind
bitches puppies in the litter: and they might know
by my life I haue a kind of alacritie in sinking: and
the bottom had bin as deep as hell I should downe.
I had bene drowned, but that the shore was sheluie
and somewhat shallowe: a death that I abhorre.
For you know the water swelles a man: and what a
thing should I haue bene whe I had bene swelled?
By the Lord a mountaine of money. Now is the
Sacke brewed?
  <Bar.>  I sir, there`s a woman below would speake
          with you.
  <Fal.>  Bid her come vp. Let me put some Sacke
among this cold water, for my belly is as cold as if I
had swallowed snow-balles for pilles.
                    {Enter Mistresse Quickly.}
Now whats the newes with you?
  <Quic.>  I come from misteris {Ford} forsooth.
  <Fal.>  Misteris {Ford}, I haue had Ford inough,
I haue bene throwne into the Ford, my belly is full
Of Ford: she hath tickled mee.
  <Quic.>  O Lord sir, she is the sorrowfullest woman
that her seruants mistooke, that euer liued. And sir,
she would desire you of all loues you will meet her
once againe, to morrow sir, betweene ten and ele-
uen, and she hopes to make amends for all.
  <Fal.>  Ten, and eleuen, saiest thou?
 
-----------------------------------------------------------
 
<P 33>
 
  <Quic.>  I forsooth.
  <Fal.>  Well, tell her Ile meet her. Let her but think
Of mans frailtie: Let her iudge what man is,
And then thinke of me. And so farwell.
  <Quic.>  Youle not faile sir?
                             {Exit mistresse Quickly.}
  <Fal.>  I will not faile. Commend me to her.
I wonder I heare not of M. {Brooke}, I like his
Mony well. By the masse here he is.
                          {Enter Brooke.}
  <For.>  God saue you sir.
  <Fal.>  Welcome good M. {Brooke}. You come to
          know how matters goes.
  <Ford.>  Thats my comming indeed sir {Iohn}.
  <Fal.>  M. {Brooke} I will not lie to you sir,
I was there at my appointed time.
  <For.>  And how sped you sir?
  <Fal.>  Verie ilsauoredly sir.
  <For.>  Why sir, did she change her determination?
  <Fal.>  No M. {Brooke}, but you shall heare. After we
had kissed and imbraced, and as it were euen amid
the prologue of our incounter, who should come,
but the iealous knaue her husband, and a rabble of
his companions at his heeles, thither prouoked and
instigated by his distemper. And what to do thinke
you? to search for his wiues loue. Euen so, plainly
so.
  <For.>  While ye were there?
  <Fal.>  Whilst I was there.
  <For.>  And did he search and could not find you?
  <Fal.>  You shall heare sir, as God would haue it,
A litle before comes me one {Pages} wife,
 
-----------------------------------------------------------
 
<P 34>
 
Giues her intelligence of her husbands
Approach: and by her inuention, and {Fords} wiues
Distraction, conueyd me into a buck basket.
  <Ford.>  A buck basket!
  <Fal.>  By the Lord a buck basket, rammed me in
With foule shirts, strokins, greasie napkins,
That M. {Brooke}, there was a compound of the most
Villanous smel, that euer offended nostrill.
Ile tell you M. {Brooke}, by the Lord for your sake
I suffered three egregious deaths: First to be
Crammed like a good bilbo, in the circomference
Of a pack, Hilt to point, heele to head: and then to
Bestwed in my owne grease like a Dutch dish:
A man of my kidney; by the Lord it was maruell I
Escaped suffication; and in the heat of all this,
To be throwne into Thames like a horshoo hot:
Maister {Brooke}, thinke of that hissing heate, Maister
{Brooke}.
  <Ford.>  Well sir then my shute is void?
Youle vndertake it no more?
  <Fal.>  M. {Brooke}, He be throwne into Etna
As I haue bene in the Thames,
Ere I thus leaue her: I haue receiued
Another appointment of meeting,
Between ten and eleuen is the houre.
  <Ford:>  Why sir, tis almost ten alreadie:
  <Fal:>  Is it? why then will I addresse my selfe
For my appointment: M. {Brooke} come to me soone
At night, and you shall know how I speed,
And the end shall be, you shall enjoy her loue:
You shall cuckold {Foord}: Come to mee soone at
at night.                    {Exit Falstaffe.}
 
-----------------------------------------------------------
 
<P 35>
 
  <For.>  Is this a dreame? Is it a vision?
Maister {Ford}, maister {Ford}, awake maister {Ford},
There is a hole made in your best coat M. {Ford},
And a man shall not only endure this wrong,
But shall stand vnder the taunt of names,
{Lucifer} is a good name, {Barbason} good : good
Diuels names: But cuckold, wittold, godeso
The diuel himselfe hath not such a name:
And they may hang hats here, and napkins here
Vpon my hornes: Well Ile home, I serit him,
And vnlesse the diuel himselfe should aide him,
Ile search vnpossible places: Ile about it,
Least I repent too late:
                             {Exit omnes.}
              {Enter} M. {Fenton, Page, and mistresse}
              {Quickly.}                    (resolue,
  <Fen:>  Tell me sweet {Nan}, how doest thou yet
Shall foolish {Slender} haue thee to this wife?
Or one as wife as he, the learned Doctor?
Shall such as they enjoy thy maiden hart?
Thou knowst that I haue alwaies loued thee deare,
And thou hast oft times swore the like to me.
  <An:>  Good M. {Fenton}, you may assure your selfe
My hart is setled vpon none but you,
Tis as my father and mother please:
Get their consent, you quickly shall haue mine.
  <Fen:>  Thy father thinks I loue thee for his wealth,
Thou I must needs confesse at first that drew me,
But since thy vertues wiped that trash away,
I loue thee {Nan}, and so deare is it set,
That whilst I liue, I nere shall thee forget.
 
-----------------------------------------------------------
 
<P 36>
 
Godes pitie here comes her father.
        {Enter M. Page his wife, M. Shallow, and Slender.}
  <Pa. M. Fenton>  I pray what make you here?
You know my answere sir, shees not for you:
Knowing my vow, to blame to vse me thus.
  <Fen.>  But heare me speake sir.
  <Pa.>  Pray sir get you gon: Come hither daughter,
Sonne {Slender} let me speak with you. ({they whisper.}
  <Quic.>  Speake to Misteris {Page.}
  <Fen.>  Pray misteris {Page} let me haue your cosent.
  <Mis. Pa.>  I faith M. {Fento} tis as my husband please.
For my part Ile neither hinder you, nor further
  <Quic.>  How say you this was my doings?           (you.
I bid you speake to misteris {Page}.
  <Fen.>  Here nurse, theres a brace of angels to drink,
Worke what thou canst for me, farwel.  ({Exit Fen}.
  <Quic.>  By my troth so I will, good hart.  ({Sleder}
  <Pa.>  Come wife, you an I will in, weele leaue M.
And my daughter to talke together. M. {Shallow},
You may stay sir if you please.
                             {Exit Page and his wife.}
  <Shal.>  Mary I thanke you for that:
To her cousin, to her.
  <Slen.>  I faith I know not what to say.
  <An.>  Now M. {Slender}, whats you will?    ({An,}
  <Slen.>  Godeso theres a iest indeed: why misteris
I neuer made wil yet: I thak God I am wife inough
  <Shal.>  Fie cusse sie, thou art not right, (for that.
O thou hadst a father.
  <Slen.>  I had a father misteris {Anne}, good vncle
Tell the Iest how my father stole the goose out of
The henloft. All this is nought, harke you mistresse
{Anne.}
 
-----------------------------------------------------------
 
<P 37>
 
  <Shal.>  He will make you ioynter of three hun-
dred pound a yeare, he shall make you a Gentle-
woman.
  <Slend.>  I be God that I vill, come cut and long
taile, as good as any is in {Glostershire}, vnder the de-
gree of a Squire.
  <An.>  O God how many grosse faults are hid,
And couered in three hundred pound a yeare?
Well M. {Slender}, within a day or two Ile tell you
more.
  <Slend.>  I thanke you good misteris {Anne}, vncle I
shall haue her.
  <Quic.> M. {Shallow}, M. {Page} would pray you to
come you, and you M. {Slender}, and you mistris {An},
  <Slend.>  Well Nurse, if youle speake for me,
Ile giue you more then Ile talke of.
                             {Exit omnes but Quickly.}
  <Quic.>  Indeed I will, Ile speake what I can for you,
But specially for M. {Fenton}:
But specially of all for my Maister.
And indeed I will do what I can for them all three.
                             {Exit.}
               {Enter misteris Ford and her two men.}
  <Mis. For.>  Do you heare? when your M. comes
take vp this basket as you did before, and if your M.
bid you set it downe, obey him.
  <Ser.>  I will forsooth.
                          {Enter Syr Iohn.}
  <Mis. For.>  Syr {Iohn} Welcome.
  <Fal.>  What are you sure of your husband now?
  <Mis. For.>  He is gone a birding sir {Iohn}, and I hope
Will not come home yet.
 
-----------------------------------------------------------
 
<P 38>
 
                       {Enter mistresse Page.}
Gods body here is misteris {Page,}
Step behind the arras good sir {Iohn}.
                        {He stops behind the arras.}
  <Mis. Pa.>  Misteris {Ford}, why woman your husband
is in his old vaine againe, hees comming to search
for your sweet heart, but I am glad he is not here.
  <Mis. For.>  What is the reason that yu vse me
  <For.>  Come hither set downe the basket,
Misteris {Ford} the modest woman,
Misteris {Ford} the vertuous woman,
She that hath the iealous foole to her husband,
I mistrust you without cause do I not?
  <Mis. For.> I Gods my record do you. And if
you mistrust me in any ill sort.
  <Ford.>  Well sed brazen face, hold it out,
You youth in a basker, come out here,
Pull out the cloathes, search.             (cloathes?
  <Hu.>  Ieshu plesse me, will you pull vp your wiues
  <Pa.>  Fie M. {Ford} yu are not to go abroad if you
be in these sits.
  <Sir Hu.>  By so kad vdge me, tis verie necessarie
He were put in pethlem.
  <For.> M. {Page}, as I am an honest man M. {Page},
There was one conueyd out of my house here ye-
sterday out of this basket, why may he not be here
now?
  <Mi.For.>  Come mistris {Page}, bring the old woma
  <For.>  Old woman, what old woman?         (downe.
  <Mi. For.>  Why my maidens Ant, {Gilled} of {Brainford}.
A witch, haue I not forewained her my house,
Alas we are simple we, we know not what
 
-----------------------------------------------------------
 
<P 39>
 
Is brought to passe vnder the colour of fortune.
Telling Come downe you witch, come downe.
       {Enter Falstaffe disguised like an old woman, and mi-}
        {steris Page with him, Ford beates him, and hee}
        {runnes away.}
Away you witch get you gone.                    (indeed,
  <Sir Hu.>  By Ieshu I verily thinke she is a witch
I espied vnder her muster a great beard.
  <Ford.>  Pray come helpe me to search, pray now.
  <Pa.>  Come weele go for his minds sake.
                             {Exit omnes.}
  <Mi. For.>  By my troth he beat him most extreamly.
  <Mi. Pa.>  I am glad of it, what shall we proceed any
further?
  <Mi.For.>  No faith, now if you will let vs tell our
husbands of it. For mine I am sure hath almost fret-
ted himselfe to death.
  <Mi. Pa.>  Content, come weele goe tell them all,
And as they agree, so will we proceed. {Exit both.}
                      {Enter Host and Bardolfe.}
  <Bar.>  Syr heere be three Genltemen come from
the Duke the Stanger sir, would haue your horse.
  <Host.>  The Duke, what Duke? let me speake with
the Gentlemen, do they speake English?
  <Bar.> Ile call them to you sir.
  <Host.>  No {Bardolfe}, let them alone, Ile sauce them:
They haue had my house a weeke at command,
I haue turned away my other guesse,
They shall haue my horses {Bardolfe},
They must come off, Ile sawce them.  {Exit omnes.}
         {Enter Ford, Page, their wiues, Shallow, and Slen-}
                       {der. Syr Hu.}
 
-----------------------------------------------------------
 
<P 40>
 
  <Ford.>  Well wise, heere take my hand, vpons my
soule I loue thee dearer then I do my life, and joy I
hnue so true and constant wife, my iealousie shall
neuer more offend thee.
  <Mis. For.>  Sir I am glad, & that which I haue done,
Was nothing else but mirth and modestie.
  <Pa.>  I misteris {Ford, Falstaffe} hath all the griefe,
And in this knauerie my wife was the chiefe.
  <Mis. Pa.>  No knauery husbnd, it was honest mirth.
  <Hu.>  Indeed it was good pastimes & merriments.
  <Mis. For.>  But sweete heart shall wee leaue olde
               {Falstaffe} so?
  <Mis.Pa.>  O by no meanes, send to him againe.
  <Pa.>  I do not thinke heele come being to mcuh
deceiued.
  <For.>  Let me alone, Ile to him once againe like
{Brooke,} and know his mind whether heele come
or not.                                 (come.
  <Pa.>  There must be some laide, or heele not
  <Mis. Pa.>  Let vs alone for that. Heare my deuice.
Oft haue you heard since {Horne} the hunter dyed,
That women to affright their litle children,
Ses that he walkes in shape of a great stagge.
Now for that {Falstaffe} hath bene so deceiued,
As that he dares not venture to the house,
Weele send him word to meet vs in the field,
Disguised like {Horse}, with huge horns on his head,
The houre shalbe iust betweene twelue and one,
And at that time we will meet him both:
Then would I haue you present there at hand,
With litle boyes disguised and dressed like Fayries,
For to affright fat {Falstaffe} in the woods.
 
-----------------------------------------------------------
 
<P 41>
 
And then to make a period to the Iest,
Tell {Falstaffe} all, I thinke this will do best.
  <Pa.>  Tis excellent, and my daughter {Anne},
Shall like a litle Fayrie be disguised.
  <Mis. Pa.>  And in that Maske Ile make the Doctor
steale my daughter {An,} & ere my husband knowes
it, to carrie her to Church, and marrie her. (boyes?
  <Mis. For.>  but who will buy the silkes to tyre the
  <Pa.>  That will I do, and in a robe of white
Ile cloath my daughter, and aduertife {Slender}
To know her by that signe, and steale her thence,
And vnknowne to my wife, shall marrie her.
  <Hu.>  So kad vdge me the deuises is excellent.
I will also be there, and be like a Iackanapes,
And pinch him most cruelly for his lecheries.
  <Mis. Pa.>  Why then we are reuenged sufficiently.
First he was carried and throwne in the Thames,
Next beaten well, I m sure youle witnes that.
  <Mi. For.>  Ile lay my life this makes him nothing fat.
  <Pa.>  Well lets about this stratagem, I long
To see deceit deceiued, and wrong haue wrong.
  <For.>  Well send to {Falstaffe}, and if he come thither,
Twill make vs smile and laugh one moneth togi-
ther.                        {Exit omnes.}
                        {Enter Host and Simple.}           (skin?
  <Host.>  What would thou haue boore, what thick-
Speake, beath, discus, short, quick, briefe, snap.
  <Sim.>  Sir, I am sent from my M. to Sir {Iohn Falstaffe}.
  <Host.>  Sir {Iohn}, theres his Castle, his standing bed.
his trundle bed, his chamber is painted about with
the story of the prodigall, fresh and new, go knock,
heele speak like an antripophiginian to thee:
 
-----------------------------------------------------------
 
<P 42>
 
Knock I say.
  <Sim.>  Sir I should speak with an old woman that
went vp into his chamber.
  <Host.>  An old woman, the knight may be robbed,
Ile call bully knight, bully sir {Iohn}. Speake from thy
Lungs military : it is thine host, thy Ephesian calls.
  <Fal.>  Now mine Host.
  <Host.>  Here is a Bohemian tarter bully, tarries the
comming downe of the fat woman: Let her desced
bully, let her descend, my chambers are honorable,
pah priuasie, sie.
  <Fal.>  Indeed mine host there was afat woman with
But she is gone.                                (me,
                            {Enter Sir Iohn.}
  <Sim.>  Pray sir was it not the wife woman of {Brain-}
          {ford?}
  <Fal.>  Marry was it Musselshell, what would you?
  <Sim.>  Marry sir my maister {Slender} sent me to her,
To know whether one {Nim} that hath his chaine,
Cousoned him of it, or no.
  <Fal.>  I talked with the woman about it.
  <Sim.>  And I pray sir what ses she?
  <Fal.>  Marry she ses the very fame man that
Beguiled maister {Slender} of his chaine,
Cousoned him of it.
  <Sim.>  May I be bolde to tell my maister so sir?
  <Fal.>  I like, who more bolde.
  <Sim.>  I thanke yu sir, I shall make my maister a
glad man at these tydings, God be with you sir.
  <Host.>  Thou art clarkly sir {Iohn}, thou art clarkly,
Was there a wife woman with thee?
  <Fal.>  Marry was there mine host, one that taught
 
-----------------------------------------------------------
 
<P 43>
 
Me more wit then I learned this 7 yeare,
And I paid nothing for it,
But was paid for my learning.
                            {Enter Bardolfe.}
  <Bar.>  O Lord sir cousonage, plaine cousonage.
  <Host.>  Why man, where be my horses? where be
the Germanes?
  <Bar.>  Rid away with your horses:
After I came beyond Maidenhead,
They flung me in a flow of myre, & away they ran.
                             {Enter Doctor.}
  <Doc.>  Where be my Host de gartyre?
  <Host.>  O here sir in perplexitie.
  <Doc.>  I cannot tell vad be dad,
But begar I will tell you van ting,
Dear be a Garmaine Duke come to de Court,
Has cosened all de host of {Branford},
And {Redding}: begar I tell you for good will,
Ha, ha, mine Host, am I euen met you? {Exit.}
                           {Enter} Sir {Hugh.}
  <Sir Hu.>  Where is mine Host of the gartyr?
Now my Host, I would desire you looke you now,
To haue a care of your entertainments,
For there is three forts of cosen garmombles,
Is cosen all the Host of Maidenhead & Readings,
Now you are an honest man, and a scuruy beg-
  gerly lowsie knaue beside:
And can point wrong places,
I tell you for good will, grate why mine Host.{Exit,}
  <Host.>  I am cosened {Hugh}, and coy {Bardolfe},
Sweet knight assist me, I am cosened.  {Exit.}
  <Fal.>  Would all the worell were cosened for me,
 
-----------------------------------------------------------
 
<P 44>
 
For I am cousoned and beaten too.
Well, I neuer prospered since I forswore
My selfe at {Primero}: and my winde
Were but long inough to say my prayers,
Ide repent, now from whence come yoou?
                        {Enter Mistresse Quickly.}
  <Quic.>  From the two parties forsooth.
  <Fal.>  The diuell take the one partie,
And his dam the other,
And theyle be both bestowed.
I haue endured more for their sakes,
Then man is able to endure.
  <Quic.>  O Lord sir, they are the sorowfulst creatures
That euer liued: Specially mistresse {Ford},
Her husband hath beaten her that she is all
Blacke and blew poore soule.
  <Fal.>  What tellest me of blacke and blew,
I haue bene beaten all the colours in the Rainbow,
And in my escape like to a bene apprehended
For a witch of {Brainford}, and set in the stockes.
  <Quic.>  Well sir, she is a sorrowfull woman,
And I hope when you heare my errant,
Youle be perswaded to the contrarie.
  <Fal.>  Come goe with me into my chamber, Ile
          heare thee.        {Exit omnes.}
                         {Enter Host and Fenton.}
  <Host.>  Speake not to me sir, my mind is heauie,
I haue had a great losse.
  <Fen.>  Yet heare me, and as I am a gentleman,
Ile giue you a hundred pound toward you losse.
  <Host.>  Well sir Ile heare you, and at least keep your
           counsell.
  <Fen.>  The thus my host. Tis not vnknown to you,
 
-----------------------------------------------------------
 
<P 45>
 
The seruent loue I beare to young {Anne Page},
And mutally her loue againe to mee:
But her father still against her choise,
Doth seeke to marrie her to foolish {Slender},
And in a robe of white this night disguised,
Wherein fat {Falstaffe} had a mightie scare,
Must {Slender} take her and carrie her to {Catlen},
And there vnknowne to any, marie her.
Now her mother still agianst that match,
And firme for Doctor {Cayus}, in a robe of red
By her deuice, the Doctor must steale her thence,
And she hath giuen consent to goe with him.
  <Host.>  Now which means she to deceiue, father or
           mother?
  <Fen.>  Both my good Host, to go along with me.
Now here it rests, that you would procure a priest,
And tarrie readie at the appointment place,
To giue our harts vnited matrimonie. (among the
  <Host.>  But how will you come to steale her from
  <Fen.>  That hath sweet {Nan} and I agreed vpon,
And by a robe of white, the which she weares,
With ribones pendant staring bout her head,
I shalbe sure to know her, and conuey her thence,
And bring her where the priest abides our coming,
And by thy furtherance there be married.
  <Host.>  Well, husband your deuice, Ile to the Vicar,
Bring yu the maide, you shall not lacke a Priest.
  <Fen.>  So shall I euermore be bound vnto thee.
Besides Ile alwaies be thy faithfull friend.
                             {Exit omnes.}
                {Enter sir Iohn with a Bucks head upon him.}
  <Fal.>  This is the third time, well Ile venter,
They say there is good luck in old numbrs,
{Loue} transformed himselfe into a bull,
 
-----------------------------------------------------------
 
<P 46>
 
And I am here a Stag, and I thinke the fattest
In all {Windsor} sorrest well I stand here
For {Horne} the hunter, waiting my Does comming,
                   {Enter mistris Page, and mistris Ford.}
  <Mis. Pa.>  Sir {Iohn}, where are you?
  <Fal.>  Art thou come my doe? what and thou too?
Welcome Ladies.
  <Mi. For.>  I I sir {Iohn}, I see you will not faile,
Therefore you deserue far better then out loues,
But it grieues me for your late crosses.
  <Fal.>  This makes amends for all.
Come diuide me betweene you, each a hanch,
For my horns Ile bequeath the to your husbands,
Do I speake like {Horne} the hunter, ha?
  <Mis. Pa.>  God forgiue me, what noise is this?
 
  {There is a noise of hornes, the two women run away.}
 
         {Enter sir Hugh like a Saryre, and boyes dreft like Fayries,}
     {mistresse Quickly, like the Queens of Fayries : they}
     {sing a song about him, and afterward speake.}
                                                        (groues,
  <Quic.>  You Fayries that do haunt these shady
Looke round about the wood if you can espie
A mortall that doth haunt our sacred round:
If such a one you can espie, giue him his due,
And leaue not till you pinch him blacke and blew:
Giue them their charge {Puck} ere they part away.
 <Sir Hu.>  Come hither {Peane}, go to the countrie
            houses.
And when you finde a slut that lies a sleepe,
And all her dishes soule, and roome vnswept,
With your long nailes pinch her till she crie,
 
-----------------------------------------------------------
 
<P 47>
 
And sweare to mend her sluttish huswiferie.
  <Fal.>  I warrant you I will performe your will.
  <Hu.>  Where is {Pead}? go you & see where Brokers
And Foxe-eyed Seriants with their mase,      (sleep,
Goe laie the Proctors in the street,
And pinch the lowsie Seriants face:
Spare none of these when they are a bed,
But such whose nose lookes plew and red.
  <Quic.>  Away begon, his mind fulfill,
And looke that none of you stand still,
Some do that thing, some do this,
All do something, none amis.
  <Hir Hu.>  I smell a man of middle earth.
  <Fal.>  God blesse me from that wealch Fairie.
  <Quic.>  Looke euery one about this round,
And if that any here be found,
For his presumption in this place,
Spare neither legge, arme, head, nor face.
  <Sir Hu.>  See I haue spied one by good luck,
His bodie man, his head a buck.
  <Fal.>  God send me good fortune now, and I care
  <Quic.>  Go strait, and do as I commaund,  (not.
And take a Taper in your hand,
And set it to his fingers endes,
And if you see it him offends,
And that he starteth at the flame,
Then is he mortall, know his name:
If with an F. it doth begin,
Why then he shure he is full of sin.
About it then, and know the truth,
Of this same metamorphised youth.
  <Sir Hu.>  Giue me the Tapers, I will try
And if that he loue venery.
 
-----------------------------------------------------------
 
<P 48>
 
  {They put the Tapers to his fingers, and he starts.}
  <Sir Hu.> It is right indeed, he is full of lecheries
            and iniquitie.
  <Quic.>  A little distant from him stand,
And euery one take hand in hand,
And compasse him within a ring,
First pinch him well, and after sing.
 
  {Here they pinch him, and sing about him, & the Doc-}
    {tor comes one way & steales away a boy in read. And}
    {Slender another way he takes a boy in greene: And}
    {Fenton steales misteris Anne, being in white. And}
    {a noyse of hunting is made within: and all the Fai-}
    {ries runne away. Falstaffe pulles of his bucks head,}
    {and rises up. And enters M. Page, M. Ford, and}
    {their wiues, M. Shallow, Sir Hugh.}
 
  <Fal.>  {Horne} the hunter quoth you: am I a ghost?
Blood the Fairies hath made a ghost of me:
What hunting at this time at night?
Ile lay my life the mad Prince of {Wales}
Is stealing his fathers Deare. How now who haue
we here, what is all {Windsor} stirring? Are you there?
  <Shal.>  God saue you sir {Iohn Falstaffe.}
  <Sir Hu.>  God plesse you sir {Iohn}, God plesse you.
  <Pa.>  Why how now sir {Iohn}, what a pair of horns.
         in your hand?
  <Ford.>  Those hornes he ment to place vpon my
And M. {Brooke} and he should be the men: (head,
Why how now sir {Iohn}, why are you thus amazed?
We know the Fairies man that pinched you so,
Your throwing in th Thames, you beating well,
 
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<P 49>
 
And whats to come sir {Iohn}, that can we tell.
  <Mi. Pa.>  Sir {Iohn} tis thus, your dishonest meanes
To call our credits into question,
Did make vs vndertake to our best,
To turne your leaud lust to a merry Iest.
  <Fal.>  Iest, tis well, haue I liued to these yeares
To be gulled now, now to be ridden?
Why then these were not {Fairies}?
  <Mis. Pa.>  No sir {Iohn} but boyes.
  <Fal.>  By the Lord I was twice or thrice in the
They were not, and yet the grosnesse         (mind
Of the sopperie perswaded me they were.
Well, and the fine wits of the Court heare this,
Thayle so whip me with their keene Iests,
That thayle melt me out like tallow,
Drop by drop out of my grease. Boyes!
  <Sir. Hu.>  I trust my boyes Sir {Iohn}: and I was
Also a Fairies that did helpe to pinch you.
  <Fal.>  I, tis well I am your May pole,
You haue the start of mee,
Am I ridden too with a wealch goate?
With a peece of toasted cheese?
  <Sir Hu.>  Butter is better then cheese sir {Iohn},
You are all butter, butter.
  <For.>  There is further matter yet sir {Iohn},
There`s 20 pound you borrowed of M. {Brooke} Sir
And it must be paid to M. {Ford} Sir {Iohn}.  ({Iohn},
  <Mi. For.>  Nay husband let that go make ameds,
Forgiue that sum, and so weele all be friends.
  <For.>  Well there is my hand, all`s forgiuen at last.
  <Fal.>  It hath cost me well,
I haue bene well pinched and washed.
 
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<P 50>
  <Mi. Pa.>  Now M. Doctor, sonne I hope you are.
  <Doct.>  Sonne begar you be de ville voman,
Begar I tinck to marry metres {An}, and begar
Tis a whorson garson Iack boy.
  <Mis. Pa.>  How a boy?
  <Doct.>  I begar a boy.
  <Pa.>  Nay be not angry wife, Ile tell thee true,
It was my plot to deceiue thee so.
And by this time your daughter`s married
To M. {Slender}, and see where he comes.
                              {Enter Slender.}
Now sonne {Slender},
Where`s your bride?
  <Slen.>  Bride, by Gods lyd I thinke theres neuer a
man in the worell hath that crosse fortune that I
haue: begod I could cry for verie anger.
  <Pa.>  Why whats the matter sonne {Slender}?
  <Slen.>  Sonne, nay by God I am none of your son-
  <Pa.>  No, why so?                      (married.
  <Slen.>  Why so God saue me, tis a boy that I haue
  <Pa.>  How a boy? why did you mistake the word?
  <Slen.>  No neither, for I came to her in red as you
bad me, and I cried mum, and hee cried budget, so
well as euer you heard, and I haue married him.
  <Sir. Hu.>  Ieshu M. {Slender}, cannot you see but marrie
  <Pa.>  O I am vext at hart, what shal I do?       (boyes?
                         {Enter  Fenton and Anne.}
  <Mis. Pa.>  Here comes the man that hath deceiued
How now daughter, where haue you bin?      (vs all:
  <An.>  At Curch forsooth.
  <Pa.>  At Church, what haue you done there?
 
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<P 51>
 
  <Fen.>  Married to me, nay sir neuer storme,
Tis done sir now, and cannot be vndone.
  <Ford:>  I faith M. {Page} neuer chase your selfe,
She hath made her choise wheras her hart was fixt,
Then tis in vaine for you to storme or fret
  <Fal.>  I am glad yet that your arrow hath glanced
  <Mi. For.>  Come mistris {Page}, Ile be bold with you,
Tis pitie to part loue that is so true.
  <Mis. Pa.>  Altho that I haue missed in my intent,
Yet I am glad my husbands match was crossed,
Here M. {Fenton}, take her, and God giue thee ioy.
  <Sir Hu.>  Come M. {Page}, you must needs agree.
  <Fo.>  I yfaith sir come, you see your wife is wel plea-
  <Pa.>  I cannot tel, and yet my hart`s well eased, (sed:
And yet it doth me good the Doctor missed.
Come hither {Fenton}, and come hither daughter,
Go too you might haue stai`d for my good will,
But since your choice is made of one you loue,
Here take her {Fenton}, & both happie proue. (dings
  <Sir Hu.>  I wil also dance & eat plums at your wed-
  <Ford.>  All parties pleased, now let vs in to feast,
And laugh at {Slender}, and the Doctors ieast.
He hath got the maiden, each of you a boy
To waite vpon you, so God giue you joy,
And Sir {Iohn Falstaffe} now shal you keep your word,
For {Brooke} this night shall lye with mistris {Ford.}
                             {Exit omnes.}
 
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