#27 $
SPITTING IMAGE $
01 DON'T TELL ME , I KNOW . $
THE PLACE LOOKS SO BLOODY TIDY . $
YOU DIDN'T GO TO WORK AGAIN TODAY , DID YOU ?
02 I'M AFRAID NOT , TOM . $
01 LOOK . $
THIS HAS GOT TO STOP . $
02 I KNOW , TOM , BUT ... $
01 IT 'S VANITY , JUST BLOODY VANITY , BECAUSE YOU 'VE SUDDE
NLY GOT A POT BELLY AT TWENTY-FIVE . $
IF YOU ONLY DID SOME SLIMMING EXERCISES . $
THAT 'S ALL YOU NEED . $
YOU 'RE BECOMING PSYCHOTIC ABOUT IT . $
GARY , PLEASE LUV , TRY AND BE REASONABLE . $
02 I WENT TO THE DOCTOR AGAIN , TODAY , TOM . $
01 YOU 'RE A HYPOCHONDRIAC , THAT 'S WHAT YOU ARE ; WELL , W
HAT DID HE SAY ? $
02 HE SAID , TOM ... $
WELL , WHAT YOU SAY ... $
01 THERE YOU ARE . $
02 HE DID ALL KINDA TESTS AND THINGS , HE FELT SOMETHING MOV
E , THOUGH ... $
01 DON'T TALK LIKE THAT . $
02 BUT HE SAID IT WAS JUST WIND . $
FUNNY , THAT YOU CAN FEEL WIND ... $
01 WELL , WHAT DID I TELL YOU ? $
02 BUT I THINK HE 'S WORRIED ... HE KIND OF ... LOOKS AWFULL
Y UNHAPPY ABOUT IT ALL . $
01 THAT 'S JUST YOUR IMAGINATION . $
02 MAYBE , TOM , MAYBE IT IS ... I JUST DUNNO . $
01 IT 'S DISGUSTING . $
LOOK HERE , GARY , JUST DO THIS , EH ? $
THAT 'S ALL YOU HAVE TO DO , TWENTY TIMES , LIKE THIS . $
NOW COME ALONG , FOLLOW ME ... $
02 I CAN'T . $
01 WHAT DO YOU MEAN , YOU CAN'T ? $
YOU DON'T TRY , THAT 'S ALL . $
02 IF I DO THAT , I SQUASH IT ... $
01 YOU SQUASH THE FAT , GARY , THE FAT ... $
02 YES . $
01 NOW COME ALONG ... $
02 BUT ... IT HURTS ... AND IT MIGHT DAMAGE IT . $
01 IT 'S SUPPOSED TO HURT . $
YOU FEEL THE STRAIN HERE , STRENGTHEN THE MUSCLES . $
AND STOP TALKING ABOUT IT . $
YOU 'LL DRIVE ME MAD , JUST MAD ... $
02 YES , I SUPPOSE YOU 'RE GOING OUT AGAIN TONIGHT TO THE PU
B WITH THE BOYS . $
IT 'S NOT MUCH FUN FOR ME BEING ALONE EVERY NIGHT AND IN ...
 IN THIS CONDITION . $
01 YOUR OBSTINATE MADNESS IS RUINING OUR LIFE TOGETHER . $
02 I CAN'T HELP FEELING WHAT I FEEL , TOM . $
I MEAN , I HAD ALL THE SYMPTOMS ... $
01 IT 'S OBSCENE , THIS OBSESSION OF YOURS , JUST OBSCENE ..
. $
02 WELL , IT WOULD BE NICE ... $
I MEAN IT 'S WHAT WE 'D LIKE ISN'T IT ? $
01 IT 'S BIOLOGICALLY IMPOSSIBLE , YOU KNOW THAT , IT CAN'T
POSSIBLY HAPPEN , SO WHY GO ON BELIEVING IN IT ? $
02 WELL , I THINK THEY DON'T KNOW EVERYTHING , THESE SCIENTI
STS AND PEOPLE , DO THEY ? $
I MEAN , SUPPOSE IT WAS ANOTHER IMMACULATE CONCEPTION ? $
01 CHRIST ! $
FACTS ARE FACTS , BABIES GROW IN WOMBS ... $
02 WELL , MAYBE I 'M A FREAK ? $
WHO KNOWS , I THINK YOU 'RE THE ONE THAT 'S OBSTINATE , TOM
. $
01 I 'M THE ONE THAT 'S OBSTINATE , I WHO REPRESENT SANITY ,
 I A CITY ACCOUNTANT ? $
WELL , HOW LONG HAS THIS GONE ON FOR ? $
02 JUST SIX MONTHS , TOM , AND I 'M AWFULLY BIG . $
01 AND BECAUSE OF YOUR WILD OBSESSION WE 'VE HAD NOTHING BUT
 SIX MONTHS' MISERY , NOTHING BUT QUARRELS AND FIGHTING . $
D' YOU THINK I EVEN WANT TO GET INTO BED WITH YOU WITH A POT
 BELLY LIKE THAT ... FOR GAWD'S SAKE . $
02 I KNOW . $
I HATE IT TOO . $
I DON'T EXPECT YOU TO LIKE ME , BUT AFTERWARDS YOU WILL , WO
N'T YOU ? $
01 AFTER WHAT ? $
AFTER WHAT BLOODY THING ? $
AFTER YOU COME BACK TO SANITY AND DO YOUR SLIMMING EXERCISES
, YES , MAYBE THEN . $
DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND HOW MAD YOU ARE ? $
WHY IF ANYONE COULD OVERHEAR THIS CONVERSATION THEY 'D SAY T
HAT YOU 'RE IN NEED OF ... WELL , MENTAL CARE . $
02 MUST YOU SHOUT AT ME ALL THE TIME ? $
01 I 'M TRYING TO MAKE YOU SEE . $
02 BUT IF WHAT I SEE IS DIFFERENT FROM WHAT YOU SEE ? $
01 THAT 'S THE POINT , IT CAN'T BE . $
THAT 'S WHERE YOU 'RE SO HOPELESSLY WRONG . $
02 I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW YOU CAN BE SO POSITIVE . $
IT 'S THIS SELF-RIGHTEOUSNESS OF YOURS THAT MAKES YOUR LIFE
SO MISERABLE . $
01 I CAN'T GET THROUGH ... WE JUST DON'T COMMUNICATE . $
IT 'S TRAGIC , IT 'S DAMNED TRAGIC , NO WONDER I HAVE TO SPE
ND EVERY EVENING OUT OF THE FLAT . $
LOOK , LOOK GARY , IF THIS DOESN'T STOP , I 'M GOING TO MAKE
 AN APPOINTMENT FOR YOU TO SEE A PSYCHIATRIST ... $
02 OH , FOR GOD'S SAKE . $
01 IT 'S MY DUTY . $
IF I CARE FOR YOU AT ALL , I 'VE GOT TO . $
AND I DO CARE FOR THE OLD GARY ... THAT 'S THE ONE I WANT BA
CK . $
I DO GARY , I DO . $
TRY AND BE REASONABLE , PLEASE . $
DO TRY , FOR MY SAKE ... $
02 HOW I HATE THESE ARGUMENTS . $
POOR DEAR TOM . $
BUT WHEN IT ACTUALLY ARRIVES THEN HE 'LL HAVE TO FACE UP TO
IT . $
THEN WE 'LL BE HAPPY AGAIN - ALL THREE OF US . $
03 AND WHEN DID YOU FIRST NOTICE THIS SWELLING ? $
01 SOME MONTHS AGO , DOCTOR . $
OH MY GOD , DO YOU THINK HE 'S ALL RIGHT ? $
03 PLEASE BE SEATED , MR. , ER , DART , HE IS IN SAFE HANDS
. $
SOME MONTHS AGO ; HOW MANY EXACTLY , HAVE YOU ANY IDEA ? $
01 YES , HE SAYS IT 'S SEVEN MONTHS NOW , I MEAN RIGHT FROM
THE BEGINNING HE THOUGHT ... WELL , I CAN'T QUITE PUT IT INT
O WORDS , BUT ... $
#28 $
DO ULCERS SWELL UP ? $
OH LORD , I THINK I OUGHT TO BE WITH HIM . $
HE HAS NOBODY ELSE IN THE WORLD , BOTH PARENTS KILLED , DIRE
CT HIT IN THE WAR AND POOR KID , I HAVEN'T BEEN VERY NICE TO
 HIM LATELY ... $
03 YES , YES , ANY OTHER SYMPTOMS , MR. DART ? $
01 OH , JUST THE NORMAL ONES , YOU KNOW . $
03 NORMAL ? $
01 I MEAN , WELL , MORNING SICKNESS IN THE FIRST TWO MONTHS
, AND THEN ... WELL . $
DO I SOUND MAD ? $
YOU MUST THINK THAT I 'M MAD , DOCTOR . $
WELL , I 'M NOT , I 'M JUST TELLING YOU THE FACTS . $
THE FACTS , YES , WELL YOU CAN'T DENY FACTS CAN YOU , DOCTOR
 ? $
03 WE MAY INTERPRET THEM DIFFERENTLY , MR. DART . $
01 AH , OH QUITE , YES , THERE IS THAT . $
IT ALL DEPENDS UPON THE INTERPRETATION DOESN'T IT ? $
DO YOU THINK YOU CAN DO ANYTHING FOR THE PAIN ? $
I 'VE NEVER SEEN SUCH PAIN . $
CAN'T I GO AND SEE HIM ? $
03 AH , HERE ARE THE X-RAYS . $
THESE WILL SHOW US WHAT OBSTRUCTION HAS CAUSED THE INFLAMMAT
ION AND SWELLING . $
SOMETIMES A SEVERE CASE OF APPENDICITIS ... $
01 WHAT IS IT ? $
LET ME SEE . $
WHAT 'S THE MATTER ? $
03 INCREDIBLE , INCREDIBLE . $
SISTER . $
NURSE . $
DOCTOR EVERSHED . $
WILSON . $
NURSE , COME QUICKLY , QUICKLY ... $
03 HAVE YOU CALLED THE SPECIALIST ? $
04 HE 'S JUST LEFT HOME , DOCTOR . $
03 AND DOCTOR WEST ? $
04 IN SURGERY , DOCTOR . $
01 CAN THIS BE HAPPENING TO ME ? $
IS IT REAL ? $
AM I DREAMING ? $
03 AH , SISTER , YOU 'VE SEEN THE X-RAYS ? $
05 MATRON HAS ALREADY INFORMED ME THAT IT IS OF THE GREATEST
 IMPORTANCE THAT NO NEWS OF THIS BE ALLOWED TO SEEP OUTSIDE
THESE FOUR WALLS . $
03 I MUST SPEAK TO HER AT ONCE . $
01 DOCTOR . $
NURSE . $
WHAT 'S HAPPENING ? $
PLEASE TELL ME . $
OH MY GOD , AM I IN A MADHOUSE ? $
05 UNBALANCED , NO DOUBT ABOUT IT . $
I WOULD SAY DOCTOR THAT THERE IS AN OBVIOUS SOCIOLOGICAL CAU
SE HERE . $
WE NEED NOT SCRUTINISE IT TOO CLOSELY , NEVERTHELESS ... BEW
ARE ... $
03 QUITE SO . $
THERE 'S THE HOSPITAL TO THINK OF . $
OUR REPUTATION . $
05 EXACTLY . $
ONE FACT WE MUST BE THANKFUL FOR , WHATEVER IT IS CANNOT LIV
E . $
03 IT 'S PULSE IS BEATING , AND VERY STRONG TOO . $
05 WITH A REGULAR BEAT ? $
03 WITH A VERY REGULAR BEAT . $
05 IT CANNOT LIVE . $
01 HE SAT THERE , NIGHT AFTER NIGHT , DAY AFTER DAY , KNITTI
NG , KNITTING , THOSE LITTLE GARMENTS , AND WHEN I DISCOVERE
D WHERE HE 'D HIDDEN THEM , I BURNT THEM , YES I DID . $
I WAS SO BLOODY ANGRY , I BURNT THEM ALL AND HE CRIED , THE
POOR SOD , AND WAS I EVEN SORRY ? $
OH NO , I SAID : ' MAYBE NOW YOU 'LL REALISE THAT YOU 'RE MA
D , MAD . ' $
BUT WHO IS MAD NOW ? $
03 HASN'T THE SPECIALIST COME YET , SISTER ? $
05 HE 'S ON HIS WAY , I DID TELL YOU DOCTOR . $
THE YOUNG MA ... , THE PATIENT DOCTOR , IS IN EXTREME PAIN ,
 NONE OF THE DRUGS ARE HAVING ANY EFFECT . $
03 QUITE SO , QUITE SO , AN IRREGULAR CASE , THE SPECIALIST
MUST SEE HIM TO EXAMINE HIM BEFORE ANY DECISIONS ARE MADE .
$
05 DID YOU SAY THAT HE COULD BE MOVED TO THE MATERNITY WARD
, DOCTOR ? $
03 ARE YOU MAD , SISTER ? $
SINCE WHEN HAVE WE ... OH WELL , NO , KEEP HIM IN A PRIVATE
WARD AND ... IS DOCTOR WEST OUT OF SURGERY YET ? $
05 I 'LL RING , DOCTOR . $
AND , OH YES , THE PSYCHIATRIST WOULD LIKE TO TALK TO MR. DA
RT . $
03 OH MY GOD , AT A TIME LIKE THIS . $
CALL ME AT ONCE WHEN THE SPECIALIST ARRIVES , SISTER . $
01 IT CAN'T BE TRUE . $
I KNOW IT CAN'T BE TRUE . $
IT 'S A NIGHTMARE , RIGHT FROM WHEN I RETURNED THIS EVENING
AND FOUND HIM , FOUND HIM LIKE THAT , SCREWED UP IN A BALL O
F PAIN AND HE SAID : ' IT 'S STARTED , TOM , IT 'S BEGUN ' ;
 OH GOD , IT 'S ALL A NIGHTMARE . $
04 THIS WAY , PLEASE , MR. DART . $
06 AH , AH , MR. DART , DO SIT DOWN . $
WOULD YOU LIKE SOME TEA ? $
01 I COULD DO WITH SOME SCOTCH . $
06 NOT I 'M AFRAID SUPPLIED ON THE NATIONAL HEALTH . $
HOWEVER ... I HAVE MY PRIVATE SUPPLY . $
I 'D BE AWFULLY OBLIGED YOU KNOW MR. DART , IF YOU 'D LIKE T
O TELL ME ANYTHING ... $
01 WHAT ? $
I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING . $
I COULDN'T FEEL MORE IGNORANT , MORE WHOLLY BLANK , LIKE AN
UNDISTURBED PLATE OF PORRIDGE AND AS ABOUT AS INTERESTING .
$
06 PORRIDGE . $
YES , IS THAT AN ACCURATE PICTURE , WOULD YOU SAY , OF YOUR
STATE OF MIND ? $
01 WHAT IS HAPPENING IN THIS PLACE ? $
IS THAT POOR SOD OUT OF HIS PAIN ? $
WHY AREN'T I ALLOWED TO SEE HIM ? $
06 AGGRESSIVENESS AGAINST SOCIETY , EASILY ENRAGED , YES , Y
ES ... $
HAVE ANOTHER SCOTCH , MR. DART , BEFORE YOU TELEPHONE . $
WHERE WERE WE ? $
OH YES , HAVE YOU BEEN LIVING TOGETHER FOR VERY LONG ? $
01 FIVE YEARS . $
06 YOU WOULD , I GATHER , BOTH DESCRIBE YOURSELVES AS HOMOSE
XUAL ? $
01 YOU WOULD , I GATHER ... $
GOD , CAN'T YOU TALK MORE SIMPLY THAN THAT . $
YES , WE WOULD , AND WE WERE DAMNED HAPPY , UNTIL ALL THIS S
TARTED . $
06 HAVE YOU A WIDE CIRCLE OF HOMOSEXUAL FRIENDS ? $
01 NO , NOT REALLY . $
06 YOU LIVE APART , CUT OFF RATHER FROM SUCH A SOCIETY ? $
01 MAYBE , PERHAPS , NEVER THOUGHT ABOUT IT . $
WE WERE JUST HAPPY . $
WE FOUND EVERYTHING WE NEEDED IN EACH OTHER . $
WE NEVER BELIEVED THAT PARADISE LAY IN THE NEXT QUEER'S BED
OR THE NEXT BIG AFFAIR . $
WE WANTED TO MAKE IT FOR OURSELVES . $
06 QUITE SO , QUITE SO ... I GATHER THEN THAT YOU WERE FAITH
FUL TO EACH OTHER ? $
01 OF COURSE , WHAT D' YOU THINK WE ARE ? $
06 BUT YOU SAY YOUR HAPPINESS DETERIORATED IN THE LAST FEW M
ONTHS ? $
01 WELL , JUST BECAUSE HE WOULDN'T GO OUT , AND THIS DAMNED
OBSESSION OF HIS DROVE ME MAD . $
06 YES , YES , AND WOULD YOU SAY THAT YOU ARE THE ACTIVE PAR
TNER OF THIS RELATIONSHIP ? $
01 EH ? $
NO , NOT REALLY . $
I MEAN , IT COMES AND GOES . $
SOMETIMES ONE THING , SOMETIMES ANOTHER , NOTHING IS BLACK A
ND WHITE , IS IT ? $
BUT , WELL , MAYBE HE 'S A MORE GENTLE CREATURE THAN I AM .
$
THAT 'S WHY I JUST CAN'T BEAR TO SEE HIM IN SUCH PAIN . $
WHAT ARE YOU DOING ABOUT IT ? $
06 OH , REST ASSURED , MR. DART , THAT ALL IN OUR POWER IS B
EING DONE . $
AT FIRST I WOULD HAVE CONCLUDED THAT THIS WAS AN HYSTERICAL
PREGNANCY , HOWEVER SOMETHING IS UNDOUBTEDLY THERE AND OF CO
URSE YOU MUST REALISE THAT IN SUCH A STRANGE CASE , WHATEVER
 HAS AT THIS MINUTE A TEMPORARY LIFE , CANNOT POSSIBLY SURVI
VE ... $
01 WHAT THE HELL D' YOU MEAN ? $
06 UPON THE X-RAYS AN EMBRYO THAT SEEMS TO BE DEVELOPED HAS
APPEARED AND MR. ROGERS WILL HAVE TO UNDERGO AN OPERATION AN
D ... ER ... BE DELIVERED OF THIS ER ... WELL , IT 'S ALL RA
THER UNPRECEDENTED . $
BUT I 'M SURE YOUR AFFECTIONS ARE NOT INVOLVED IN WHAT WILL
SURELY NOT BE ALIVE AND ER ... WE ALWAYS HUSH THINGS UP AND
DON'T INFORM THE PARENTS . $
FREAKS ARE NOT UNCOMMON ... $
THE IMPORTANT THING IS FOR YOU NOT TO BE DISTURBED BY THIS .
 $
I 'LL SEND SISTER TO YOU . $
01 WHAT WE BRING INTO THE WORLD IS OUR RESPONSIBILITY . $
MY GOD , IN THE OFFICE WHEN ONE OF THE BOYS BECOMES A FATHER
 WE ALL GET DRUNK . $
BLOODY SILLY ISN'T IT ? $
SUPPOSE I SHAN'T BE ABLE TO TELL THEM . $
BUT IS IT TRUE ? $
DID I SAY FATHER ? $
#29 $
04 OH , DOCTOR , WHAT A PERFECT BABY , WHAT A LOVELY BOY . $
SHALL I GO AND TELL THE FATHERS NOW ? $
03 PERFECTLY NORMAL IN EVERY WAY . $
HOW VERY EXTRAORDINARY , PERFECT IN EVERY FEATURE , A STRONG
 MALE CHILD . $
WHAT DID YOU SAY THE WEIGHT WAS , NURSE ? $
04 12 POUNDS AND 13 OUNCES . $
03 DEAR ME , RATHER ON THE LARGE SIZE , AND HOW IS THE MOTHE
R ? $
I MEAN , THE ER , FATHER , NO , I MEAN ... $
04 IN NORMAL POST-OPERATIONAL SLUMBER , DOCTOR . $
03 WELL , WELL , ALL SEEMS RATHER SATISFACTORY REALLY . $
AND WHERE IS MR. DART ? $
AH , WHAT GOOD NEWS I BRING YOU , A BOUNCING BOY ... $
01 A BOY ? $
IT COULDN'T HAVE BEEN ANYTHING ELSE REALLY . $
KIND OF DOUBLE MALE . $
03 YES , YES , NOW THE BIRTH CERTIFICATE . $
OH DEAR I SHALL HAVE TO ER ... GO INTO ALL THIS WITH THE REG
ISTRAR . $
I MUST SAY , PERHAPS I 'VE BEEN A LITTLE TOO ... $
01 WHEN CAN I SEE THEM BOTH , DOCTOR ? $
03 TOMORROW MORNING , TOMORROW . $
BOTH ARE SLEEPING QUIETLY , WE ALL NEED SLEEP , OH SUCH CONF
USION . $
GO HOME NOW AND GET SOME SLEEP YOURSELF . $
05 DOCTOR WEST WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN ? $
I SHALL HAVE TO SEE THE ALMONER AND THE MATERNITY WELFARE OF
FICER TOMORROW , AND OF COURSE MR. ROGERS MUST BE KEPT IN HO
SPITAL FOR AT LEAST TWO OR THREE WEEKS AS WE SHALL HAVE TO M
AKE EXHAUSTIVE TESTS . $
NOW YOU MUST SEE MATRON BEFORE YOU DO ANYTHING ELSE . $
07 AS YOU SEE , I AM NOT IN CARNIVAL MOOD , DOCTOR . $
NOTHING WILL MAKE ME BELIEVE THAT SUCH AN OFFSPRING IS NORMA
L IN ANY WAY ... $
03 IT APPEARS TO BE . $
HAVE YOU SEEN ... ? $
07 I HAVE OBSERVED THE CREATURE . $
I MADE IT MY BUSINESS TO . $
WE ARE BOTH FAMILIAR WITH THE FACT DOCTOR THAT THE MISGUIDED
 YOUTHFUL CRETINS OF TODAY THAT PARTAKE OF SUCH DRUGS AS LSD
 OFTEN SUFFER FROM A BREAKDOWN OF GENETIC STRUCTURE IN THE C
HROMOSONES , THUS CREATING THE RISK OF ABNORMAL OFFSPRING ..
. $
03 MY DEAR MATRON , THE OFFSPRING APPEARS TO BE ... $
07 IN THIS CASE OF COURSE , THE MANNER OF ITS BIRTH IS ABNOR
MAL . $
OUR HOSPITAL HAS MADE MEDICAL HISTORY , YET IT IS A CASE THA
T WE NEED TO SUPPRESS UTTERLY UNTIL WE ARE MORE FAMILIAR WIT
H THE CAUSES AND EFFECTS ... $
03 BOTH FATHERS SEEM VERY HAPPY . $
07 THAT IS ENTIRELY BESIDE THE POINT . $
MY DEAR DOCTOR , WE HAVE A BIRTH EXPLOSION AS IT IS . $
MY OWN PERSONAL OPINION IS THAT THEY 'VE LEGALISED HOMOSEXUA
LITY SIMPLY AS AN ATTEMPT TO DISCOURAGE THE BIRTH OF MORE CH
ILDREN . $
IF WE HAVE NOW REACHED THE HISTORICAL MACABRE MOMENT WHEN LE
SBIANS AND HOMOSEXUALS CAN CREATE OFFSPRING BY THEMSELVES ,
THE WORLD HAS DECLINED INTO UGLINESS AND SQUALOR TOO GROTESQ
UE FOR THE HUMAN SOUL TO CONTEMPLATE . $
03 DEAR MATRON , YOU ARE QUITE OVERCOME . $
PLEASE , PLEASE , YOU MUST NOT DISTRESS YOURSELF ... $
07 BUT DOCTOR , I AM A VISIONARY . $
WHO , WHO , I ASK YOU , PUT THIS HOSPITAL UPON THE MAP , SO
TO SPEAK ? $
I , IT WAS I . $
AND CAN I TRUST YOU ALL ? $
NO , THE ANSWER IS NO . $
THIS VERY NIGHT YOU WILL RETURN TO YOUR WIFE AND FAMILY AT P
ONDERS END AND INFORM THEM OF THE NATURE OF THIS CASE ; OF C
OURSE , YOU WILL SAY , IN THE UTMOST CONFIDENCE , AND THEN Y
OUR WIFE WILL TELL HER SISTER , THE WOMAN NEXT DOOR ALSO IN
THE UTMOST CONFIDENCE AND IN TWO DAYS , THE NATIONAL PRESS W
ILL BE BAYING AT THE WARDS . $
UGH , WHAT A RESPONSIBILITY I HAVE . $
I DEMAND ABSOLUTE DISCRETION . $
IS THAT UNDERSTOOD ? $
03 I WOULD NOT DREAM OF MENTIONING ONE WORD OF THIS , NOT ON
E WORD . $
07 IN ALL MY YEARS OF SERVICE , I KNOW THE PSYCHOLOGY OF MEN
 , I HAVE BEEN LET DOWN TOO OFTEN , DOCTOR . $
GOOD NIGHT . $
03 GOOD NIGHT , MATRON . $
07 OH AGNES , HALLO DEAR . $
WELL , YOU KNOW I TOLD YOU ... MIND THIS IS IN THE UTMOST CO
NFIDENCE . $
WELL , THE MOST EXTRAORDINARY THING , I DOUBT IF IT WILL LIV
E THROUGH THE NIGHT . $
YES . $
THAT 'S RIGHT . $
IT APPEARS TO BE NORMAL . $
PITY WE 'RE BOTH PAST THE CHANGE OF LIFE , DEAR . $
WHO KNOWS ? $
01 HELLO . $
HOW D' YOU FEEL ? $
02 A BIT FUNNY , BUT OKAY , I THINK . $
I SAY , TOM , HAVE YOU SEEN HIM ? $
01 YOU BET , GOT YOUR NOSE ... $
02 GOT YOUR EYES THOUGH . $
BLUE . $
01 LOOKS AS IF HE 'S GOT YOUR FOREHEAD . $
02 AND NOSE . $
01 I THOUGHT HE HAD MY NOSE . $
02 NO , MY NOSE . $
01 YOUR NOSE ? $
02 YOURS IS TOO WIDE , HE 'S DEFINITELY GOT MY NOSE . $
01 OH , GARY , HOW CAN YOU FORGIVE ME ? $
02 THAT 'S ALL RIGHT . $
01 WHAT SHALL WE CALL HIM ? $
02 SOME DAMNED WOMAN ARRIVED THIS MORNING WITH AN ADOPTION F
ORM , SAYING I 'D GOT TO FILL IT IN ... $
01 WHAT ? $
HOW DARE THEY ? $
02 SHE SAID TWO HOMOSEXUALS WEREN'T ALLOWED TO HAVE CHILDREN
 . $
I SAID : ' NEVER MIND , DEAR , WHAT 'S ALLOWED OR NOT , WE '
VE CREATED HIM , HE 'S OURS AND WE 'LL BRING HIM UP . $
01 JUST WAIT UNTIL I SEE HER , CHEEKY BITCH . $
02 TOM , I THINK IT 'S GOING TO BE DIFFICULT . $
01 WHAT IS ? $
02 WELL , THEY 'RE AGAINST ME . $
YOU KNOW , WHAT THEY DON'T UNDERSTAND , THEY DESTROY ... OR
AT LEAST HIDE IT SOMEWHERE , WHERE IT WON'T BOTHER THEM . $
I MEAN , WILL THEY GIVE HIM A BIRTH CERTIFICATE ? $
01 THEY 'VE GOT TO . $
HE 'S BEEN BORN . $
02 FOR , YOU SEE , WITHOUT A BIRTH CERTIFICATE YOU JUST HAVE
N'T GOT ANY OFFICIAL EXISTENCE . $
01 DOES THAT MATTER ? $
02 ALL BABIES HAVE TO BE TAKEN REGULARLY TO CLINICS , AND BE
 INOCULATED AND THINGS ; THEN WE SHALL HAVE TO THINK ABOUT H
IS EDUCATION ... $
01 WHAT ALREADY ? $
02 OH WE MUST PLAN AHEAD . $
TOM , DO THEY KNOW OUR ADDRESS ? $
01 YES . $
02 PITY . $
THEY WANT ME TO STAY HERE , I 'M NOT GOING TO , I WANT TO GE
T OUT AS SOON AS I 'M STRONG ENOUGH , WITH HIM . $
I THINK WE 'LL HAVE TO MOVE . $
01 BUT , HOW CAN WE ? $
I MEAN , THE OFFICE , AND OUR FRIENDS , WHAT CAN WE TELL THE
M ALL ? $
IT 'S TOO DIFFICULT . $
BESIDES , LOOK AT ALL THE WORK WE 'VE PUT INTO THE FLAT AND
MADE IT LOOK SO NICE , HOW CAN WE LEAVE ALL THAT ? $
I DON'T UNDERSTAND , WHY MUST WE MOVE ? $
02 TOM , HE 'S OUR CHILD , IT 'S WHAT WE WANTED , DREAMT ABO
UT , BUT KNEW IT COULD NEVER HAPPEN . $
WELL IT HAPPENED . $
WE 'VE GOT TO SACRIFICE EVERYTHING FOR HIM , YOU KNOW THAT ,
 DON'T YOU ? $
I MEAN IT 'S A MIRACLE , THEY DON'T HAPPEN EVERY DAY YOU KNO
W . $
01 NOW , GARY , DON'T GET EXCITED . $
I 'M SURE WE WON'T HAVE TO MOVE . $
08 COO OO , WHAT A BEAUTIFUL MORNING , GOOD MORNING TO YOU B
OTH , AH , WHAT LOVELY FLOWERS . $
NOW MR. ROGERS , I 'M THE ALMONER , AND I 'VE BEEN HAVING A
LITTLE TALK WITH THE DOCTOR AND THE MATRON AND ONE OR TWO OT
HERS AND WE WOULD REALLY LIKE TO KEEP THE BABY IN THE HOSPIT
AL FOR A WHILE , SO IF YOU 'LL JUST SIGN THIS FORM , THEN TH
AT FORM , YES , SILLY BILLY , MUSTN'T FORGET THAT ONE . $
GORGEOUS COLOUR , ISN'T IT ? $
SALMON PINK , WHAT A PRETTY FORM , JUST SIGN THERE , DEAR .
$
02 WHY ? $
08 WHY ? $
BECAUSE IT MAKES EVERYTHING EASIER FOR EVERYONE . $
01 WHAT ARE THE FORMS ? $
08 OH JUST THE USUAL ONES . $
01 WELL , WHAT ARE THE USUAL ONES ? $
08 NOW DON'T YOU BOTHER TOO MUCH ABOUT THEM . $
THAT 'S WHAT WE 'RE HERE FOR , TO MAKE YOU ALL COMFY AFTER T
HE OPERATION ... $
02 I 'M NOT SIGNING THIS AND NOR IS HE . $
#30 $
01 WHAT IS IT ? $
08 OH SUCH A FUSS , YOU 'RE MAKING . $
IT 'S SIMPLY SO THAT WE CAN KEEP YOU BOTH IN HOSPITAL FOR A
LITTLE WHILE ... $
02 FOR AN UNSPECIFIED TIME . $
08 MR. DART , WOULD YOU SIGN THEM , IT 'S YOUR RESPONSIBILIT
Y TOO , YOU KNOW . $
02 DON'T . $
01 I DON'T UNDERSTAND . $
WHY CAN'T GARY AND THE BABY COME OUT IN A FEW DAYS' TIME ? $
08 WELL , HOW COULD YOU POSSIBLY LOOK AFTER A BABY , IT WILL
 NEED SPECIALISED CARE ... $
02 IT 'S NOT AN IT , IT 'S A HE ... $
01 I 'VE BOUGHT DOCTOR SPOCK . $
LOOK . $
08 OH YES , HOW SWEET , BUT THIS BABY NEEDS LOTS OF VERY VER
Y SPECIAL ATTENTION . $
02 IT WILL GET IT , FROM US . $
08 OH YOU ARE SUCH AN OBSTINATE PAIR . $
I DON'T THINK YOU REALLY UNDERSTAND . $
AS IT IS , DEARS , YOUR BABY CAN'T AT THE MOMENT HAVE ANY OF
FICIAL EXISTENCE . $
NOW DOES THAT SOUND HARSH ? $
WELL , WE DON'T WANT TO BE UNKIND , BUT AS IT IS , WELL , TH
E FIRST ... ER , OF ITS KIND , THERE ARE NO PRECEDENTS , AND
 EVERYTHING HAS TO BE LOOKED INTO WITH GREAT CARE . $
NOW , I 'LL TELL YOU BOTH A LITTLE SECRET , THE HOME OFFICE
HAS BEEN INFORMED OF THIS CASE ALREADY AND THEY WANT US TO K
EEP THE LITTLE ER ... CREATURE HERE , SO WE CAN'T DO ANYTHIN
G ABOUT IT , CAN WE ? $
01 O YES WE CAN . $
THERE 'S NO LAW THAT SAYS THEY CAN TAKE YOUR BABIES AWAY FRO
M YOU . $
08 ONLY IF YOU 'RE NOT FIT TO LOOK AFTER THEM , DEAR . $
WELL , I SHAN'T PRESS IT , WE 'LL JUST HAVE TO SEE WHAT HAPP
ENS . $
NOW MR. , ER , ROGERS MUST GET LOTS OF REST AND THEN I 'M SU
RE YOU 'LL SEE IT OUR WAY WHEN YOU 'RE STRONGER . $
WE 'RE ONLY DOING IT FOR YOUR OWN GOOD , YOU KNOW . $
02 NOW D' YOU SEE WHAT I MEAN ? $
01 MAYBE YOU 'RE EXAGGERATING A BIT , GARY , MAYBE IT WOULD
ONLY BE FOR JUST A FEW WEEKS ... $
02 I 'M NOT SIGNING ANY FORMS , AND I 'M GOING TO LOOK AFTER
 MY BABY . $
AND JUST YOU REMEMBER , HE 'S YOURS TOO . $
01 YES , SO HE IS , HOW MARVELLOUS . $
I 'M A DAD , I 'M A DAD . $
I FEEL TERRIFIC , I 'M A FATHER , PROGENITOR AND CONCEIVER O
F MEN . $
02 I SAY , HAVE YOU TOLD YOUR MOTHER ? $
01 WELL ... NO . $
I MEAN ... $
02 WELL , SHE 'S ALWAYS GONE AT YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED AN
D WANTING TO BE A GRANDMOTHER . $
WELL , NOW SHE IS ... $
01 YES , BUT GARY ... THE CIRCUMSTANCES . $
HOW WILL SHE EXPLAIN TO THE NEIGHBOURS IN WEST HARLOW ? $
02 WELL , I JOLLY WELL KNOW THAT IF MY MOTHER WAS ALIVE , SH
E 'D BE BLOODY HAPPY . $
THE TROUBLE ABOUT YOUR PARENTS IS THAT THEY LIVE IN A SEMI-D
ETACHED , VOTE CONSERVATIVE , AND NEVER THINK FOR THEMSELVES
 ... $
01 NOW , DON'T GO ON AGAIN ABOUT MY PARENTS . $
02 IT 'S JUST YOUR MOTHER , YOUR FATHER 'S TOO FRIGHTENED TO
 SPEAK . $
WHY THE HELL SHOULD I LAND UP WITH A TYPICAL MOTHER-IN-LAW ?
 $
WELL , ARE YOU GOING TO TELL THEM ABOUT THE BABY OR NOT ? $
TOM , WE CAN'T HIDE OUR BABY SON EVERY TIME YOUR MOTHER CALL
S , CAN WE ? $
01 COULDN'T WE TRY ? $
09 JACK , DID YOU NOTICE TOM'S EYES ? $
I DIDN'T LIKE THE LOOK OF THEM . $
I DON'T THINK HE EATS ENOUGH , NOT UP THERE . $
HURRIED LUNCHES , HE WORKS TOO HARD . $
THAT 'S WHY THESE WEEKENDS ARE NECESSARY FOR HIM . $
YOU AGREE DON'T YOU JACK ? $
HE 'S LOST WEIGHT , THERE 'S NO DOUBT ABOUT THAT . $
OF COURSE AT HIS AGE ALL YOUR HAIR HAD FALLEN OUT . $
NO , TOM TAKES AFTER MY SIDE OF THE FAMILY , GOOD HEAD OF HA
IR , WE ALWAYS DID HAVE , SILKY BUT STRONG . $
NOW THE DARTS HAVE HAIR THAT BREAKS . $
LOOK AT YOUR SISTER , SHE WAS BALD AT FORTY . $
AH , THERE YOU ARE , DEAR , HAVE A CHOC ? $
01 NO THANK YOU , MOTHER . $
09 YOU DIDN'T EAT MUCH LUNCH , YOU KNOW , AND THERE 'S A FUL
L HOUR BEFORE TEA . $$
01 I REALLY MUST GET BACK TO TOWN , MOTHER . $
09 BUT YOU NEVER GO UNTIL AFTER SUNDAY TEA . $
YOU 'VE GOT TO STAY FOR TEA , I 'VE BAKED TWO KINDS OF CAKE
AND AN APPLE TART . $
OH YOU CAN'T GO BEFORE THAT , TOM . $
THERE 'S NOTHING WRONG IS THERE , DEAR ? $
WHAT 'S THE MATTER WITH YOUR EYES . $
YOU 'RE NOT LOOKING AT ME IN THE EYE . $
YOU HAVEN'T DONE ANYTHING WRONG , HAVE YOU , DEAR ? $
01 NO , NO , NOTHING WRONG , ER , IS DAD ASLEEP ? $
09 WELL TO ALL INTENTS AND PURPOSES , DEAR . $
01 I OUGHT TO GO . $
09 NOW , TOM , A MOTHER KNOWS . $
YOU 'RE NOT LEAVING THIS HOUSE , DEAR , UNTIL YOU GET IT OFF
 YOUR CHEST ? $
01 OFF MY CHEST ? $
YES . $
WELL , I TOLD YOU GARY IS IN HOSPITAL . $
09 OH , YOU MUSTN'T WORRY ABOUT THAT . $
OH , YOU 'RE NOT WORRYING ABOUT HIM ARE YOU ? $
WELL , NOW ISN'T THAT FUNNY , A GROWN MAN LIKE YOU , WORRYIN
G ... $
01 NO , NO . $
WELL , HE 'S REALLY GOT OVER IT ALL YOU KNOW ... $
09 YES , DEAR , WHAT DID YOU SAY HE HAD ? $
01 I DIDN'T SAY ... $
09 WELL , HE 'LL SOON BE OUT , WON'T HE ? $
01 MOTHER , SOMETHING VERY EXTRAORDINARY HAS HAPPENED ... $
09 THERE , I KNEW IT , DIDN'T I SAY ... $
01 YOU KNOW YOU 'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO BE A ... $
09 YES ? $
YES ? $
01 A GRANDMOTHER ... $
09 TOM . $
YOU HAVEN'T . $
JACK DID YOU HEAR THAT ? $
HE 'S GOT A GIRL INTO TROUBLE . $
WELL , OF COURSE WE SHAN'T HOLD A THING AGAINST YOU , DEAR ,
AND WHAT DO HER PARENTS SAY ? $
WELL , WHO IS SHE ? $
HOW MANY MONTHS GAWN ? $
AFTER ALL , JACK , IT HAPPENED TO THE PARSONS AT 33 , SO THE
Y CAN'T COMPLAIN AND IT 'S NOT AS IF IT WAS OUR DAUGHTER , I
S IT ? $
WELL , WHEN 'S THE WEDDING GOING TO BE ? $
NOW COME ALONG , TOM , OUT WITH IT ? $
01 NO , NO MOTHER , IT 'S GARY . $
09 HOW CAN YOU TALK ABOUT GARY AT A MOMENT LIKE THIS ? $
DOES SHE COME FROM A GOOD FAMILY ? $
WELL , I WON'T SAY ANYTHING IF SHE DOESN'T . $
DID YOU SAY , GRANDMOTHER ? $
WELL , JACK , THE BABY 'S BEEN BORN . $
YES . $
IS IT A BOY ? $
01 YES , MOTHER . $
09 NOW , YOU MUST TELL ME WHICH HOSPITAL SHE 'S IN , AND I '
LL WRITE IT DOWN AND GO AND VISIT THEM . $
THAT 'S QUITE THE BEST WAY , THEN THE GIRL WILL KNOW AT ONCE
 THAT I HOLD NOTHING AGAINST HER . $
NO , WE SHALL BE GOOD FRIENDS . $
01 YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND , MOTHER . $
YOU SEE ... $
WELL YOU SEE , MOTHER , THE POOR GIRL , SHE $
SHE DIED IN CHILDBIRTH . $
OH , QUITE PAINLESSLY OF COURSE . $
09 YOU MEAN ... THE GIRL ... BUT THE BABY 'S ALL RIGHT ? $
01 OH THE BABY 'S FINE , MOTHER . $
09 WELL , IT 'S FOR THE BEST REALLY . $
I MEAN YOU CAN'T DENY THAT . $
I OFTEN THINK THAT GOD WORKS IN VERY FUNNY WAYS . $
BUT YOU 'LL HAVE THE BABY ADOPTED , AND ALL WILL BE FORGOTTE
N . $
01 NO , YOU SEE , GARY AND I THOUGHT WE 'D LOOK AFTER THE BA
BY . $
09 OH , WHAT A SILLY IDEA . $
TWO GROWN MEN LOOKING AFTER A BABY . $
I 'VE NEVER HEARD OF SUCH A THING . $
IT WOULDN'T BE ALLOWED ANYWAY . $
BESIDES , REMEMBER , TOM , IT 'S ILLEGITIMATE . $
THE BEST THING FOR THE BABY IS FOR IT TO BE ADOPTED . $
YOU AND GARY LOOKING AFTER A BABY . $
WELL , WELL , I 'LL GO AND PUT THE KETTLE ON . $
01 WHERE 'S THE BABY ? $
02 YOU MIGHT JUST AS WELL ASK . $
THEY WON'T EVEN LET ME NURSE HIM , WON'T EVEN LET ME HOLD HI
M . $
I ONLY SAW HIM ONCE . $
OH , THEY 'RE FULL OF EXCUSES , THEY NEVER TELL ME THE TRUTH
 . $
IT 'S ALWAYS : ' WELL , MR. ROGERS , WE MUST KEEP THE BABY U
NDER CLOSE EXAMINATION . ' $
THEY 'RE BLOODY WELL GOING TO STEAL HIM FROM US , TOM . $
DO YOU KNOW WHAT WE 'RE GOING TO DO ? $
WE 'RE GOING TO KIDNAP OUR OWN KID . $
01 DON'T YOU THINK , GARY , THAT ... WELL , MAYBE , THEY 'RE
 RIGHT . $
I MEAN , IT 'S GOING TO BE TERRIBLY DIFFICULT LOOKING AFTER
HIM . $
YOU DON'T REALLY WANT TO BE A MOTHER DO YOU ? $
02 YOU MAKE ME BLEEDIN' SICK . $
A BLEEDIN' MIRACLE HAPPENS ONCE IN HISTORY AND YOU WANT TO R
UN AWAY FROM IT . $
#31 $
AND IF YOU DON'T WANT THE RESPONSIBILITY YOU CAN GO STUFF YO
URSELF . $
I 'LL LOOK AFTER HIM ... $
01 NOW CALM DOWN , JUST CALM DOWN . $
YOU MUSTN'T GET UP . $
02 SHUT UP . $
NOW LISTEN . $
IT 'S ALMOST TIME FOR YOU TO GO . $
I 'M GETTING DRESSED AND GETTING BACK INTO BED . $
YOU CAN HIDE IN THAT CUPBOARD . $
01 WHICH ? $
OH NO , WHAT ARE YOU UP TO ? $
NOW YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU 'RE SAYING . $
JUST CALM DOWN . $
LIFE IS GETTING IMPOSSIBLE . $
02 JUST DO AS I SAY . $
I WANT YOU IN THAT CUPBOARD WHEN THE NURSE COMES IN . $
I WANT YOU IN THAT CUPBOARD NOW . $
IN A FEW HOURS WHEN IT 'S DARK AND THE NIGHT STAFF HAVE TURN
ED OFF ALL THE LIGHTS , WE 'RE GOING TO KIDNAP OUR OFFSPRING
 AND GET OUT OF THIS PLACE . $
01 BUT HOW DO WE FIND HIM ? $
THERE MUST BE HUNDREDS OF NEWBORN BABIES IN THAT WARD . $
02 HE 'S ON HIS OWN . $
BESIDES THEY 'VE PUT OUR NAME ON A TAB ROUND HIS ANKLE . $
01 ISN'T MODERN SCIENCE WONDERFUL ! $
04 WELL , WELL , HOW 'S MR. ROGERS TONIGHT THEN ? $
BOVRIL , OVALTINE OR TEA ? $
HAS YOUR FRIEND GONE ? $
AND HOW ARE YOU FEELING ? $
02 CAN I SEE MY BABY ? $
04 BABY 'S JUST FINE . $
BABY 'S BEAUTIFUL . $
BABY 'S PUT ON WEIGHT . $
WE MUSTN'T WORRY ABOUT THAT . $
IT 'S BOVRIL , ISN'T IT ? $
02 TOM , IT 'S TIME . $
01 MY ARM 'S GONE TO SLEEP , SO HAS MY LEG . $
I CAN'T MOVE . $
02 DO BE QUIET . $
HURRY . $
GIVE ME YOUR HAND , I 'LL SHOW YOU THE WAY . $
01 BUT THE CORRIDOR 'S FULL OF LIGHT . $
AND I CAN HEAR THE NURSES TALKING . $
02 WE 'VE GOT TO DODGE THEM . $
NOW LISTEN TO ME . $
IT 'S NO GOOD GOING DOWN THE CORRIDOR BECAUSE THEY 'LL SEE U
S . $
BUT YESTERDAY I OPENED THIS WINDOW AND THERE 'S QUITE A WIDE
 LEDGE THAT GOES ON TO A FIRE-ESCAPE AND ... $
01 OUT THERE ? $
BUT YOU KNOW I CAN'T STAND HEIGHTS . $
02 WE 'RE KIDNAPPING OUR BABY . $
01 I CAN'T GO OUT , I JUST CAN'T I 'VE TOLD YOU ... $
02 YOU DON'T HAVE TO . $
I WILL . $
WHEN YOU HEAR MY WHISTLE , THAT MEANS I 'VE GOT HIM . $
YOU JUST CLIMB DOWN THE FIRE-ESCAPE . $
01 OH MY GOD , WILL YOU BE ALL RIGHT ? $
02 IF THE NIGHT NURSE COMES , GET INTO BED AND SNORE ... $
01 OKAY $
OH CHRIST , WHY DID WE EVER BEGIN THIS LARK ? $
WHY AM I SO INFLUENCED BY GARY ? $
I MEAN , IS THERE REALLY ANY NEED TO KIDNAP OUR CHILD ? $
HE SAYS THERE IS AND I JUST BELIEVE HIM . $
04 MR. ROGERS , ARE YOU AWAKE ? $
WHAT 'S THAT WINDOW OPEN FOR ? $
I 'LL GIVE YOU A SLEEPING PILL , CAN'T HAVE YOU WORRYING , C
AN WE ? $
THERE WE ARE , POP THAT IN YOUR MOUTH , NOW A DRINK OF WATER
 , SWALLOW IT , MR. ROGERS , SWALLOW IT . $
WHAT 'S THAT ? $
01 TRAIN . $
04 WE 'RE NOWHERE NEAR A RAILWAY LINE . $
THAT 'S RIGHT , BACK TO SLEEP NOW . $
01 OH LORD , I 'VE REALLY SWALLOWED IT NOW . $
01 WHO 'S THERE ? $
WHAT DO YOU WANT ? $
10 POLICE . $
OPEN UP THERE . $
01 IT 'S AWFULLY LATE . $
WHAT DO YOU WANT ? $
10 MR. THOMAS DART ? $
JUST A FEW WORDS WITH YOU SIR . $
ARE YOU ALONE ? $
01 YES , QUITE ALONE . $
10 WOULD YOU KNOW OF THE WHEREABOUTS OF MR. GARY ROGERS ? $
01 HE 'S IN HOSPITAL RECOVERING FROM A SERIOUS OPERATION . $
10 HE DISAPPEARED FROM THERE TONIGHT . $
WE THOUGHT HE 'D COME STRAIGHT TO YOU . $
01 OH NO , I HAVEN'T SEEN HIM . $
I MEAN , WE 'RE NOT REALLY VERY FRIENDLY ANY MORE . $
I DON'T THINK HE 'D COME HERE . $
10 THIS IS WHERE HE LIVES , ISN'T IT ? $
WELL THEN , YOU SAW HIM TONIGHT AT THE 'OSPITAL ? $
YOU 'RE FRIENDLY ENOUGH TO GO THERE , AREN'T YOU ? $
WHAT TIME DID YOU LEAVE THE 'OSPITAL ? $
01 WHEN THE VISITORS GO . $
10 AND WHAT DID YOU DO AFTER THAT ? $
01 CAME BACK HERE . $
10 WELL MAY I ASK , MR. DART , WHY YOU 'RE FULLY DRESSED AT
FOUR-THIRTY IN THE MORNING , AND WHY THERE 'S A SUITCASE WHI
CH IS BEING HURRIEDLY PACKED ? $
01 I 'M GOING AWAY ON HOLIDAY . $
10 FUNNY TIME OF YEAR , NOVEMBER , FOR A HOLIDAY . $
FUNNY TIME TO START PACKING . $
01 I 'M VERY BUSY AND I FIND IT DIFFICULT TO SLEEP AT NIGHT
. $
PACKING IS A VERY GOOD WAY ... $
10 NOW COME OFF IT SIR . $
I 'M ONLY HERE FOR YOUR OWN GOOD . $
THERE 'S NO NEED TO LIE TO ME . $
YOUR FRIEND , I BELIEVE , ONLY 'AD 'IS OPERATION A FEW DAYS
AGO . $
HE MUST BE FOUND AND LOOKED AFTER . $
YOU WOULDN'T WANT US NOT TO LOOK AFTER 'IM WOULD YOU ? $
IT 'S ALL FOR HIS GOOD AND YOUR GOOD , THAT I 'M 'ERE NOW .
$
NOW ALL I 'VE GOT TO DO IS WAIT OUTSIDE AND FOLLOW YOU , SO
YOU MIGHT JUST AS WELL TELL ME NOW . $
01 WHY CAN'T YOU JUST BLOODY WELL LEAVE US ALONE ? $
WE 'VE DONE NOTHING WRONG , NOTHING AT ALL . $
GARY IS RIGHT , I SEE THAT NOW , DAMN HIM . $
OH I WISH I COULD JUST SLEEP , THAT 'S ALL I WANT , JUST SLE
EP ... $
10 WELL , I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THAT SIR . $
WE 'AVE OUR ORDERS . $
DO YOU KNOW SIR , YOU REMIND ME OF A FRIEND , A FRIEND I 'AD
 WHEN I WAS YOUNGER . $
OH , 'E WAS A GREAT CHUM . $
IT 'S STRANGE , WELL , IN CERTAIN LIGHTS ... $
01 WHAT HAPPENED TO HIM ? $
WERE YOU VERY FRIENDLY ? $
10 WELL , WE WON'T TALK ABOUT THAT SIR , IT 'S NOTHING I WAN
T TO REMEMBER . $
GOT A WIFE NOW AND FOUR KIDS . $
BUT ... WELL , SEEING YOU LOOKING SO UNHAPPY REMINDED ME OF
'IM . $
01 DO YOU KNOW THE FULL FACTS OF THIS CASE SERGEANT ? $
DO YOU KNOW WHO YOU 'RE HOUNDING AND WHAT ? $
10 WELL ... WELL , JUST THAT THIS FRIEND OF YOURS OUGHT TO B
E BACK IN HOSPITAL . $
01 THEY ONLY MENTIONED HIM TO YOU AND NOTHING ELSE . $
NO BABY ? $
10 THAT 'S RIGHT . $
WHAT D' YOU MEAN , BABY ? $
01 WELL , I 'M NOW GOING TO TELL YOU A LITTLE STORY ... $
02 DON'T KNOW WHY I 'M IRONING THIS , IT 'S NOT GOING TO FIT
 YOU . $
WONDER WHETHER IF I CUT THE ARMS OFF AND PUT A SLIT IN THE B
ACK ... $
NO , IT WOULD NEVER DO . $
IT SAYS HERE THAT BABIES WALK AND BEGIN TO TALK ABOUT ONE YE
AR OLD . $
YOU 'RE FOUR MONTHS OLD AND DOING BOTH . $
OH WELL , YOU 'RE JUST BRILLIANT I SUPPOSE , THOUGH I MUST S
AY I NEVER DREAMT IT WOULD ALL BE SO EXHAUSTING . $
MY GOD , I 'M SO TIRED . $
THE ONLY TIME YOU 'RE QUIET IS WHEN YOUR ASLEEP . $
YOU 'RE GORGEOUS , EVEN TOM THINKS YOU 'RE GORGEOUS NOW . $
ANDREW DART-ROGERS . $
WHAT A BEAUTIFUL NAME . $
AND WHEN YOU 'RE GROWN UP , YOU 'LL MARRY AND HAVE A FAMILY
OF YOUR OWN . $
AND ALL YOUR KIDS WILL JUST HAVE TO PUT UP WITH THREE GRANDF
ATHERS AND ONLY ONE GRANDMOTHER . $
#32 $
WELL , NOBODY GETS EVERYTHING IN THIS LIFE AFTER ALL . $
OH MY GOD , THAT 'S YOUR ONLY GRANDMOTHER . $
DO WE BOTH DESERVE THAT ? $
DON'T WAKE HIM . $
09 ISN'T TOM BACK YET ? $
HE WORKS TOO LATE . $
AND HAVEN'T YOU GOT A JOB ? $
HASN'T THE LIBRARY TAKEN YOU BACK THEN ? $
YOU MUSTN'T LAZE HERE ALL DAY , YOU KNOW . $
02 I 'VE GOT A FULL-TIME JOB , MRS. DART , LOOKING AFTER AND
REW . $
09 IT 'S NOT RIGHT . $
NOW , I WISH TOM COULD FIND A NICE GIRL ... $
HE 'S GROWN SO . $
I MEAN ... $
02 SHUSH . $
DON'T WAKE HIM . $
HE CAN WALK NOW , AND HE SAYS ' DADA ' AND QUITE A LOT OF OT
HER WORDS TOO . $
09 HE 'S MUCH TOO ADVANCED . $
YOU OUGHT TO SEE THE DOCTOR . $
WHAT ARE YOU FEEDING HIM ... ? $
02 HE HAD STEAK AND KIDNEY PUD FOR LUNCH . $
11 WHAT ? $
YOU 'LL KILL HIM . $
YOU MUSTN'T START WEANING HIM YET . $
02 BUT HE LOVES IT . $
HE HAD APPLE PIE AS WELL . $
AND HALF OF MY GUINNESS . $
09 ALCOHOL , NOT ALCOHOL . $
OH THERE YOU ARE . $
THANK GOD YOU 'VE ARRIVED AT LAST . $
DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS ... YOUR FRIEND GIVES POOR LITTLE ANDR
EW ? $
A MEAL THAT WOULD BE INDIGESTIBLE FOR A CHILD OF TEN , MUCH
LESS A BABY OF FOUR MONTHS . $
I 'VE TOLD YOU THAT IT WOULD NEVER WORK OUT ... $
09 ... OH THE LITTLE TREASURE ! $
BUT YOU REALLY MUSTN'T GIVE IT STOUT . $
IT 'S MONSTROUS , QUITE MONSTROUS . $
TOM , TELL HIM . $
02 DOCTOR SPOCK SAYS THAT THE BABY WILL ALWAYS TELL YOU WHEN
 IT NEEDS TO BE WEANED OR TRAINED . $
AND ANDREW IS VERY ADVANCED . $
01 I THINK GARY LOOKS AFTER HIM MARVELLOUSLY , MOTHER . $
09 AND WHY DOES IT SAY JOHN SMITH ON YOUR DOORBELL ? $
AND WHY TOM WHENEVER I VISIT YOU , YOU LOOK AS IF YOU 'VE BE
EN COMMITTING A CRIME ? $
NOW MY DARLINGS , WHAT IS IT ? $
TELL MUMMY . $
IS IT SOMETHING TO DO WITH THE BABY'S MOTHER ? $
WERE YOU VERY UPSET ABOUT IT ? $
HAS IT BROKEN YOUR HEART ? $
YOU 'RE NOT IN SOME KIND OF TROUBLE ... ? $
LEFT THAT GOOD JOB IN THE CITY , CONSTANTLY CHANGING FLATS ,
 FALSE NAME ON YOUR DOORBELL , NOW TOMMY MAKE A CLEAN BREAST
 OF IT AND THEN YOU 'LL FEEL BETTER . $
12 GARY , DON'T BE SO MEAN , YOU KNEW IT WAS ME . $
WHY ARE YOU AVOIDING ME ? $
02 OH , SALLY , HALLO , I DIDN'T SEE YOU ... $
12 DIDN'T SEE ME , YOU TOOK ONE FRIGHTENED LOOK AND RAN . $
WHAT 'S UP ? $
02 I 'M JUST SO FRIGHTFULLY BUSY AND ... $
12 YOU DO LOOK TIRED . $
MY GOD , YES . $
POOR DARLING , YOU LOOK JUST ABOUT DONE IN . $
02 IT 'S A FULL-TIME JOB , LOOKING AFTER ... $
12 OH YES , WHO DOES THE KID BELONG TO ? $
02 ME . $
12 DON'T TELL ME YOU 'VE LEFT TOM ? $
02 NO , SALLY , I HAVEN'T LEFT TOM . $
I MEAN ... $
12 COME AND SIT DOWN FOR A MINUTE . $
NONE OF YOUR OLD FRIENDS SEEM TO SEE  YOU NOW . $
WHAT HAPPENED TO THAT MARVELLOUS FLAT ? $
WE ALL MISS YOU AT THE LIBRARY , YOU WERE ALWAYS ... WELL ,
I MISS YOU . $
YOU KNOW THAT DON'T YOU . $
WELL , YOU 'VE ALWAYS KNOWN THAT ... BUT , WELL I WAS HURT ,
 YOU DIDN'T EVEN TELEPHONE , I THOUGHT YOU WERE , I MEAN EVE
N IF YOU DIDN'T WANT MY BODY AND EVERYTHING . $
WE UNDERSTOOD THAT , DIDN'T WE ? $
BUT I THOUGHT WE WERE REALLY FOND OF EACH OTHER , GARY . $
WHAT IS IT ? $
WHY D' YOU LOOK SO SAD ? $
02 IT 'S JUST , WELL LIFE 'S BECOME A BIT COMPLICATED , YOU
SEE . $
12 HOW ? $
ARE YOU TRYING TO TELL ME YOU 'VE GOT MARRIED ? $
OH SO THAT 'S IT . $
BUT ... I SUPPOSE THAT REALLY DOES HURT . $
OH JESUS , MARY AND JO , WHY THE HELL SHOULD I BE JEALOUS OF
 ANOTHER GIRL AND NOT MIND A DAMN ABOUT TOM ? $
OH MY GOD , SO THAT 'S WHY YOU LEFT THE LIBRARY AND NEVER GO
T IN TOUCH . $
02 NO , NO , SALLY , IT 'S NOT THAT , THERE 'S NO OTHER GIRL
 , I PROMISE YOU . $
THERE COULDN'T BE , I THINK YOU 'RE MARVELLOUS , YOU KNOW HO
W MUCH I LOVE YOU . $
12 WELL ... I DON'T GET IT . $
YOU SAID THAT BABY WAS YOURS . $
I THINK THAT JOKE 'S IN BAD TASTE , GARY , I REALLY DO , YOU
 SHOULDN'T JOKE ABOUT THINGS LIKE THAT . $
13 I 'VE HAD COMPLAINTS , THAT 'S WHAT I 'M SAYING , ITS UNN
ATURAL , THAT 'S THE POINT I 'M MAKING , SOMETHING 'S FISHY
GOING ON , I CAN SMELL IT . $
COME ON , OPEN UP . $
YOU 'VE STOLEN THAT BABY , THAT 'S THE TRUTH , ISN'T IT ? $
OUT OF HERE BY TONIGHT , OR I 'LL GET THE POLICE . $
01 WE 'VE PAID THE RENT , YOU 'VE NO RIGHT TO GET RID OF US
. $
13 IT 'S MY HOUSE , I KNOW WHAT I 'M DOING , I KNOW MY RIGHT
S . $
NOW , ARE YOU GOING TO GO OR NOT ? $
02 WE CAN'T AFFORD A HOTEL AGAIN , BESIDES THEY ASK TOO MANY
 QUESTIONS . $
PLEASE MRS. WATSON , THE BABY WON'T CRY TONIGHT , I PROMISE
. $
13 OPEN THIS DOOR , I WANT TO TALK TO BOTH OF YOU . $
02 WE 'LL OPEN IT , IF YOU PROMISE TO LET US STAY FOR TONIGH
T . $
13 I 'LL GET BERT TO BREAK IT DOWN , IF YOU DON'T BLEEDIN' W
ELL OPEN IT . $
THE CHEEK OF IT , SMUGGLING A BABY IN UNDER MY NOSE IN A BLO
OMIN' SUITCASE , AND THEN TRYING TO TELL ME IT WAS THE RADIO
 YOU HAD ON ALL NIGHT . $
I WASN'T BORN YESTERDAY , Y' KNOW . $
NOW COME ON , OPEN UP . $
THAT 'S BETTER . $
NOW AT LEAST WE DON'T HAVE TO SHOUT . $
I 'M NOT AN 'ARD WOMAN , AND I PRIDE MYSELF ON MY HOUSE , AN
D WHEN YOU FIRST CAME 'ERE I THOUGHT TO MYSELF , THERE 'S A
NICE GENTLEMAN , I CAN GENERALLY TELL . $
WELL , WHAT ARE YOU STANDING THERE FOR ? $
PACK UP AND GO . $
02 LOOK MRS. WATSON , IT 'S JUST IMPOSSIBLE , WE CAN'T FIND
ANYWHERE ELSE TONIGHT . $
13 MR. BRIGGS IN ROOM FIVE SAID 'E NEVER 'AD A WINK OF SLEEP
 . $
02 I PROMISE YOU THE BABY WILL BE QUIET TONIGHT . $
HE WAS JUST TEETHING , THAT 'S ALL . $
13 WELL , WHAT ARE YOU TWO YOUNG CHAPS DOING THEN , WITH A B
ABY LIKE THAT ? $
YOU MUST ADMIT IT 'S SUSPICIOUS . $
01 I CAN'T GO ON , I JUST CAN'T GO ON . $
IT 'S TOO MUCH OF A STRUGGLE . $
WHAT ARE WE DOING IT FOR ? $
THAT 'S WHAT I 'D LIKE TO KNOW . $
02 TOM , I THINK YOU 'D BETTER GO AND LIE DOWN , AND I 'LL T
ELL MRS. WATSON THE TERRIBLE , DREADFUL STORY . $
13 TERRIBLE ? $
DREADFUL ? $
02 YOU MUST HAVE SEEN IT IN THE NEWSPAPERS . $
13 WELL I DON'T KNOW . $
02 POOR TOM . $
JUST MARRIED , SO HAPPY . $
LITTLE ANDREW WAS THEIR FIRST CHILD . $
AND THEN THE POOR MOTHER WAS KILLED IN THAT DREADFUL TRAIN-C
RASH NEAR SURBITON . $ $
13 WELL YES , I REMEMBER THE ONE . $
YOU DON'T SAY , AND DID SHE GO SUDDENLY ? $
WAS IT OUTRIGHT ? $
AND THAT POOR BABY ... $
02 ONE MONTH OLD . $
HER DYING WISH WAS THAT TOM AND HIS BEST FRIEND , THAT 'S ME
 , WOULD LOOK AFTER HIM . $
BUT OH , MRS. WATSON , WHAT TROUBLES WE 'VE HAD . $
13 AND WAS SHE VERY BEAUTIFUL ? $
AND OH , SO VERY YOUNG ? $
#33 $
02 AND RICH , CUT DOWN IN HER PRIME . $
13 RICH YOU SAY ? $
THEN WHAT ARE YOU LIVING HERE FOR ? $
02 SHE WAS AN HEIRESS . $
THE MONEY WAS CUT OFF BY HER PARENTS BECAUSE THEY DISAPPROVE
D OF THE MARRIAGE . $
13 YOU DON'T SAY . $
AN HEIRESS ON THE EIGHT-FORTY-SEVEN FROM SURBITON ? $
02 IT WAS ANOTHER TRAIN-CRASH . $
LOOK , YOU WILL HELP , YOU CAN'T THROW US OUT . $
I PROMISE YOU ... $
13 YOU 'VE BEEN 'AVING ME ON , 'AVEN'T YOU . $
YOU 'RE A SMOOTH CHARACTER . $
I 'VE MET YOUNG MEN LIKE YOU BEFORE . $
WELL I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO BELIEVE YOU OR NOT . $
YOU CAN STAY HERE TONIGHT , BUT YOU MUST FIND ANOTHER PLACE
TOMORROW . $
I 'M NOT AN 'ARD WOMAN , BUT I 'AVE ALL ME OTHER LODGERS TO
THINK OF . $
THAT 'S FINAL , GOOD NIGHT . $
02 IT WON'T ALWAYS BE LIKE THIS . $
IT 'S JUST DIFFICULT AT FIRST . $
IT 'S BOUND TO BE . $
WHEN HE 'S A BIT OLDER , WE SHALL HAVE MORE FREEDOM . $
01 IT 'S DRIVING ME MAD . $
I DON'T KNOW WHO I AM ANYMORE , GIVING FALSE NAMES . $
I KEEP ON SAYING TO MYSELF : ' AT LEAST GARY AND I ARE THE S
AME . $
THIS IS THE FIFTH YEAR WE 'VE BEEN TOGETHER . ' $
BUT WE 'RE NOT THE SAME , EVERYTHING 'S CHANGED . $
AND YOU 'VE CHANGED MOST OF ALL . $
YOU USED TO BE SUCH A QUIET GENTLE PERSON AND NOW YOU SEEM S
TRONG AND BITTER AND SCORNFUL . $
I DON'T THINK I KNOW YOU ANY MORE . $
02 DOCTOR SPOCK SAYS THAT PARENTS OFTEN FIND IT DIFFICULT TO
 ADJUST ... $
01 STOP QUOTING THAT BLOODY BOOK . $
SPOCK DRIVES ME UP THE WALL . $
I FEEL I 'M BEING PURSUED BY SPOCK EVERYWHERE . $
LORD SAVE ME FROM SPOCK . $
AND IT 'S NOT ONLY THAT GARY . $
YOU 'LL THINK I 'M MAD , BUT I GET THE FEELING I 'M BEING WA
TCHED AND FOLLOWED ... $
02 YOU NEED A GOOD NIGHT'S REST . $
01 BUT OF COURSE , WE ALL NEED THAT . $
12 BUT I CAN AFFORD IT . $
I WOULDN'T MISS TWO POUNDS A WEEK . $
I MEAN I CAN DO WITHOUT SOME THINGS . $
PLEASE GARY , PLEASE TAKE IT ... $
02 I KNOW WHAT YOU GET PAID IN THAT PLACE , DON'T BE SO DAMN
ED SILLY . $
12 BUT YOU DON'T KNOW HOW BAD I FEEL , NOT BEING ABLE TO HEL
P . $
PLEASE TAKE IT , GO ALONG . $
02 NO , SALLY , NO , DON'T GO ON ABOUT IT . $
I MEAN JUST BEING ABLE TO TALK TO YOU , THAT 'S MARVELLOUS .
 $
MAYBE TOM IS RIGHT . $
I 'M SURE I SAW THAT MAN YESTERDAY OUTSIDE THE HOUSE . $
12 IF ONLY I HAD A BIGGER FLAT . $
IF ONLY I HAD MORE MONEY . $
YOU KNOW , THERE IS ANOTHER WAY , GARY , PROMISE ME YOU WON'
T BE ANGRY , OR THINK IT 'S JUST BECAUSE ... YOU KNOW HOW MU
CH I WANT TO HELP . $
WELL I WAS THINKING ... $
02 HE 'S GOT A DIFFERENT COAT ON , BUT IT 'S THE SAME MAN ,
I 'D SWEAR TO IT . $
12 WELL , SUPPOSE WE GOT MARRIED , AND THEN I COULD SAY THE
BABY WAS OURS , COULDN'T I ? $
AND THEN WE COULD FIND A PLACE MORE EASILY , AND THE THREE O
F US WOULD BE LIVING TOGETHER . $
I WOULDN'T BE IN THE WAY , I PROMISE . $
02 HAVE YOU GONE RIGHT OUT OF YOUR TINY MIND ? $
JUST TELL ME , WHAT WOULD YOU GET OUT OF THAT ? $
12 I 'D SEE YOU MORE OFTEN , THAT 'S ALL . $
AND ... WELL , I 'D BE THERE TO HELP WITH THINGS , LIKE WITH
 THE COOKING , AND LOOKING AFTER THE BABY . $
IT ISN'T AS MAD AS IT SEEMS . $
WE NEEDN'T EVEN GET MARRIED , WE COULD JUST SAY WE WERE . $
02 TOM 'S JEALOUS OF YOU . $
12 WELL HE NEEDN'T BE . $
WE ONLY WENT TO BED ONCE AND THAT WAS YEARS AGO . $
02 I KNOW . $
I WISH IT HAD BEEN MORE SUCCESSFUL . $
BUT THEN I SUPPOSE IF IT HAD HAVE BEEN I WOULD NEVER HAVE BE
COME A MOTHER . $
12 YES , THERE IS THAT , THERE IS THAT TO SAY ABOUT IT . $
02 YOU HOLD THAT AGAINST ME , DON'T YOU . $
12 WHAT , NOT DOING IT PROPERLY ? $
ALL THOSE YEARS ? $
I DIDN'T MIND . $
WHAT WE EVENTUALLY DID WAS QUITE NICE . $
02 YES , I REMEMBER . $
BUT THERE DIDN'T SEEM MUCH DIFFERENCE REALLY . $
LIKE GOING TO BED WITH TOM ALMOST . $
I THINK THAT 'S WHAT WORRIED ME . $
IT OUGHT TO HAVE BEEN DIFFERENT . $
NO , I DIDN'T MEAN THAT YOU HOLD THAT AGAINST ME . $
12 WELL WHAT THEN ? $
02 MY BEING A MOTHER . $
12 OH . $
I SEE WHAT YOU MEAN . $
IT 'S JUST SO DIFFICULT TO ADJUST TO . $
YOU DON'T LOOK LIKE A MOTHER , YOU DON'T EVEN SEEM LIKE A MO
THER , AND ONE GETS SO USED TO THE IDEA OF MOTHER , LIKE YOU
 KNOW , ON THOSE TV COMMERCIALS . $
I DON'T THINK I HOLD IT AGAINST YOU ; IT 'S JUST I CAN'T FIT
 IT IN . $
02 NOR CAN TOM . $
HE GETS MORE NEUROTIC EVERY DAY . $
HE 'S JUST ALL AT SEA , COMPLETELY LOST . $
BUT IT 'S DONE THE VERY OPPOSITE TO ME . $
IT 'S KIND OF ... WELL , A CENTRAL EXPERIENCE . $
THROUGH GIVING BIRTH TO A CHILD AS BEAUTIFUL AS HE IS , I 'V
E SEEN MY WHOLE LIFE , ALL OF MY PAST , QUITE DIFFERENTLY .
$
I NOT ONLY VALUE HIM MORE THAN ANYTHING , BUT I 'VE LEARNT T
O VALUE LIFE TOO . $
12 GARY , I DO LOVE YOU . $
I DO LOVE YOU SO MUCH . $
COULDN'T WE ALL LIVE TOGETHER ? $
COULDN'T WE SOMETIMES , MAYBE IN THE AFTERNOONS , DO WHAT WE
 USED TO DO IN BED ? $
I MEAN , IT WAS RATHER COSY . $
PLEASE , PLEASE THINK ABOUT IT . $
02 YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND . $
YOU SEE , IT WOULD HELP , I KNOW THAT , WITH ALL THE DIFFICU
LTIES WE 'VE GOT , THAT WE 'RE UP AGAINST NOW ; BUT , DON'T
YOU SEE , I 'VE GOT TO THINK OF TOM NOW TOO . $
I MEAN , HE 'S THE FATHER , AND IF HE 'S GOING ALL TO PIECES
 , I 'M RESPONSIBLE FOR HIM AS WELL . $
I KNOW IT WOULD NEVER WORK . $
HE 'S A VERY JEALOUS PERSON . $
12 I 'VE GOT TO GO NOW , I 'M LATE ALREADY . $
GARY , REMEMBER , I 'M ALWAYS HERE IF YOU WANT ME . $
14 I DO CONGRATULATE YOU , CHARLES , ON THE FACT THAT THERE
HAS BEEN NO LEAKAGE IN THE NATIONAL PRESS . $
DOCTOR GRAPIELKOF HAS SUGGESTED TO ME IN THE STRONGEST TERMS
 THAT IF THIS NEWS BECAME PUBLIC , IT COULD EVENTUALLY LEAD
TO COMPLETE DISORIENTATION . $
YOU KNOW MY OWN OPINION , CHARLES , THESE PSYCHIATRIST CHAPS
 TEND TO EXAGGERATE EVERYTHING , NEVERTHELESS THERE COULD BE
 A MORSEL OF TRUTH IN THIS . $
YES , YES , I AGREE ... OF THE UTMOST IMPORTANCE . $
OF COURSE . $
YES , THE MAN IN QUESTION WAS INTERVIEWED IN HOSPITAL SEVERA
L TIMES , BUT YOU KNOW WHAT THESE HOMOSEXUALS ARE LIKE . $
DAMNED GREAT BIG CHIPS ON THEIR SHOULDERS , UNCO-OPERATIVE ,
 SUSPECTS SOCIETY IS ALWAYS OUT TO GET THEM . $
YES I KNOW , MY DEAR FELLOW , WE 'VE LEANT OVER BACKWARDS PA
SSING BILLS THROUGH THE HOUSE , BUT THEY STILL SEEM A PRETTY
 PSYCHOTIC , UNSATISFIED LOT , AND IF ... THIS KIND OF THING
 CAN HAPPEN , WHERE THE HELL ARE WE ALL GOING TO BE ? $
THE CONFUSION WOULD BE UNIMAGINABLE , IT WOULD DISTORT THE W
HOLE LEGAL SYSTEM . $
THINK OF THE MANPOWER LOST IN THE PROFESSIONS AND INDUSTRIES
 IF THESE DAMNED PANSIES ARE ALWAYS PRANCING OFF BECOMING MO
THERS . $
AND WHAT COULD CONCEIVABLY BE THE REACTION OF THE CHURCH OF
ENGLAND ? $
MARRIAGE BETWEEN A MAN AND A WOMAN IS A SACRAMENT BLESSED BY
 CHILDREN , IT IS THE BASIS OF OUR WHOLE SOCIETY . $
THIS OBSCENE INCIDENT SHOCKS ME , CHARLES , SHOCKS ME DEEPLY
 , THIS ROGERS MAN SEEMS TO HAVE NO SCRUPLES , NONE AT ALL ,
 GIVING BIRTH WITHOUT A BY YOUR LEAVE , AND RUNNING OFF LIKE
 THAT IN THIS IRRESPONSIBLE MANNER , IT WILL LEAD TO ANARCHY
 , TOTAL ANARCHY . $
YES , IN THIS DEPARTMENT , I FOUND AN EXCELLENT WOMAN , MISS
 FOTHERINGILL , SHE 'S WAITING OUTSIDE NOW . $
I 'LL LET YOU KNOW , CHARLES , I 'LL LET YOU KNOW IMMEDIATEL
Y . $
SEND MISS FOTHERINGILL IN NOW PLEASE . $
A PLEASURE , MISS FOTHERINGILL , A REAL PLEASURE , DO BE SEA
TED . $
DO YOU SMOKE ? $
PLEASE ... $
15 NO SIR , NO THANK YOU . $
I SOMETIMES HAVE ONE AFTER SUPPER , BUT THAT 'S THE EXTENT .
 $
14 WELL , MISS FOTHERINGILL , MAY I SAY , FIRST OF ALL , THA
T WE TOOK GREAT TROUBLE TO FIND YOU , TO FIND A WOMAN OF INT
ELLIGENCE AND SENSITIVITY ... $
15 THAT 'S VERY KIND ... $
#34 $
14 ... WHO ALSO HAS THE BREADTH OF UNDERSTANDING TO COPE WIT
H THIS EXTREMELY DELICATE HUMAN PROBLEM . $
15 SIR , I THINK MY YEARS IN THE WVS ... $
14 QUITE SO . $
NOW YOU HAVE BEEN BRIEFED WITH THE FACT , AND HAVE FAMILIARI
SED YOURSELF WITH THE PERSONALITIES OF THE PEOPLE IN QUESTIO
N . $
AT THIS STAGE , I THINK WE CAN SAFELY SAY THAT WE CAN DISPEN
SE WITH MR. DART . $
HE IS REALLY NOT GOING TO GIVE US ANY TROUBLE AT ALL . $
15 I GATHER HE IS EASILY INFLUENCED . $
14 TOTALLY UNDER THE SWAY OF HIS COMPANION . $
NOW LET ME DEFINE YOUR ROLE AS CLEARLY AS I CAN . $
YOU MUST BECOME THE TRUSTED FRIEND AND HELPMATE OF MR. ROGER
S , AND WHAT WE MAY NOW TERM HIS CHILD FOR WANT OF A MORE SP
ECIFIC EXPRESSION . $
IT IS ABSOLUTELY VITAL THAT HE IS MADE TO SEE THAT EXHAUSTIV
E LABORATORY TESTS SHALL HAVE TO BE MADE , AND THIS REQUIRES
 THEM BOTH TO BE ISOLATED IN A LABORATORY FOR A CONSIDERABLE
 PERIOD OF TIME . $
15 I QUITE UNDERSTAND SIR . $
14 NOW THINK , MISS FOTHERINGILL , IF , AS MR. ROGERS HAS MA
DE QUITE CLEAR , HE WILL NOT COOPERATE , AND IF HE FELT THAT
 ANY UNPLEASANT PRESSURE WAS BEING PUT UPON HIM , HE MIGHT W
ELL TAKE HIS REVENGE BY LEAKING THE WHOLE SORDID STORY , TO
THE NATIONAL PRESS . $
YOU ARE A WOMAN OF IMAGINATION . $
I NEED HARDLY POINT OUT WHAT MIGHT HAPPEN THEN . $
HOMOSEXUALS OF ALL RACES , COLOURS AND CREEDS WOULD SUDDENLY
 BE GIVEN THE HOPE OF CREATING OFFSPRING . $
AND WHAT IS MORE LIKELY THAT THE OFFSPRING THEMSELVES WILL H
AVE THE SAME SEXUAL ABNORMALITIES . $
THE WORLD WOULD BE OVERRUN - UGH ! $
WE CANNOT ALLOW THIS TO HAPPEN , MISS FOTHERINGILL , I KNOW
YOU WILL DO YOUR UTMOST TO PERSUADE MR. ROGERS TO BE REASONA
BLE . $
NO NEED TO SAY THAT WE SHALL BE IN CLOSE CONTACT . $
REMEMBER THAT THIS IS A MATTER OF NATIONAL IMPORTANCE . $
GOOD LUCK , MISS FOTHERINGILL . $
01 THEN WHY DID YOU HAVE TO MENTION IT ? $
I JUST DON'T BELIEVE THAT YOU WOULDN'T RATHER LIVE WITH SALL
Y . $
I MEAN YOU POINTED IT OUT HOW MUCH EASIER YOUR LIFE WOULD BE
 . $
SHE 'S BEEN AFTER YOU FOR YEARS THAT GIRL . $
THERE 'S NOTHING SUBTLE ABOUT HER . $
02 I DON'T KNOW WHY I SAID IT , I JUST SAID IT , THAT 'S ALL
 . $
01 YOU SAID IT BECAUSE YOU WANTED TO HURT ME , YOU SAID IT T
O MAKE ME FEEL EVEN MORE INSECURE . $
HAVEN'T I LEFT ONE JOB AND GOT ANOTHER . $
I 'M DOING OVERTIME , I 'M WORKING AS HARD AS I CAN , AND WH
O 'S IT FOR , WHO 'S IT FOR , EH ? $
02 I KNOW , I KNOW . $
BUT DON'T GO ON ... $
01 WHY SHOULDN'T I GO ON . $
YOU JUST THINK YOU CAN HURT PEOPLE AND GET AWAY WITH IT . $
JUST TREAT THEM LIKE DIRT , EH ? $
OH YES , EVER SINCE THIS HAPPENED YOU 'VE CHANGED , IT 'S BR
OUGHT OUT THE WORST IN YOU . $
02 DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND , IT 'S YOU , YOU 'RE TRYING TO CLIN
G ON TO THE PAST , TO WHAT WE WERE BEFORE . $
WELL THAT 'S ALL GONE , AND IT WILL NEVER COME BACK . $
YOU 'RE CLOSING YOUR MIND TO WHAT 'S HAPPENED . $
01 I 'VE HAD ENOUGH . $
I 'VE JUST BLOODY WELL HAD ENOUGH , I 'M SICK OF LYING , SIC
K OF LIVING IN THESE REVOLTING LITTLE ROOMS . $
02 BUT YOU LOVE THE BABY , YOU DO , DON'T YOU ? $
01 S'POSE SO . $
CAN'T DENY THAT . $
WHO IS IT ? $
02 I DON'T KNOW . $
CAN'T BE YOUR MOTHER , CAN IT ? $
WELL THEN , YOU 'D BETTER GO AND FIND OUT . $
15 MR. DART , ISN'T IT ? $
MAY I JUST HAVE A FEW WORDS WITH YOU ? $
01 IT 'S VERY LATE , WHAT DO YOU WANT ? $
15 JUST A CHAT , MR. DART , JUST A CHAT . $
I 'M MISS FOTHERINGILL FROM THE CHILDREN'S WELFARE . $
AH , YOU MUST BE MR. ROGERS . $
I DO APOLOGISE FOR THE LATENESS OF THE HOUR BUT ... THOUGHT
IT WOULD BE NICE TO MEET BOTH OF YOU THE FIRST TIME . $
02 THE FIRST TIME ? $
15 I 'M HERE TO HELP YOU AND THE BABY . $
NOW ARE THERE ANY PROBLEMS ? $
02 WE 'RE MANAGING . $
01 PROBLEMS ? $
I SHOULD SAY . $
02 WE 'RE MANAGING FINE , MISS FOTHERINGILL . $
15 NOW , MR. ROGERS , I WANT TO PUT YOUR MIND AT REST . $
THE CLINIC ARE VERY IMPRESSED BY HOW BEAUTIFULLY YOU KEEP BA
BY , THEY 'RE VERY PROUD OF YOU BOTH . $
NOW I BELIEVE THEY THINK THAT YOUR WIFE RAN AWAY AND LEFT YO
U , BUT NOT ONLY DO I KNOW THE TRUTH , I KNOW EVERYTHING . $
NOW , MR. ROGERS , DON'T GET WORRIED . $
I UNDERSTAND . $
MY HOW I SYMPATHISE . $
I 'VE NEVER BEEN A MOTHER OF COURSE , BUT I 'VE BEEN IN CHIL
DREN'S WELFARE NOW FOR TWENTY-TWO YEARS . $
SO YOU MUST STOP WORRYING BECAUSE YOU 'RE NOT COMPLETELY ALO
NE . $
YOU HAVE ME . $
01 WELL , THANK YOU , MISS FOTHERINGILL , WE CERTAINLY NEED
SOMEONE TO LEAN ON . $
WE ARE GETTING TO THE END OF OUR TETHER . $
YOU COULDN'T FIND US BETTER ACCOMMODATION I SUPPOSE ? $
15 THAT IS NOT POSSIBLE . $
SAD , SAD . $
NOT VERY NICE CONDITIONS TO BRING UP BABY . $
DEAR , DEAR , RISING DAMP I SEE . $
MOST OF THESE HOUSES SHOULD HAVE BEEN PULLED DOWN THIRTY YEA
RS AGO . $
WE DO TRY AND SEE THAT SMALL BABIES ARE NOT LIVING IN THESE
CONDITIONS . $
NOW , I 'D JUST LIKE TO HAVE A PEEP AT YOUR LITTLE TREASURE
. $
MAY I ? $
I SHALL BE VERY CAREFUL NOT TO WAKE HIM UP . $
01 ISN'T SHE MARVELLOUS ? $
GOD , I NOW FEEL THERE 'S SOME HOPE. $
AND TO THINK WE MIGHT HAVE MET HER SOONER , IF WE HADN'T KEP
T ON CHANGING ADDRESSES . $
02 HOW NAIVE CAN YOU GET . $
I DON'T BLOODY WELL TRUST HER . $
WHY SHOULD SHE KNOW THE TRUTH ? $
01 YOU 'RE IMAGINING THINGS ALL THE TIME . $
WHY CAN'T YOU BE MORE FRIENDLY TO HER . $
15 THE LITTLE BRUTE BIT ME . $
I BEG YOUR PARDON . $
LITTLE SO AND SO . $
LIVELY IN HIS SLEEP ISN'T HE ? $
02 I HOPE YOU DIDN'T WAKE HIM . $
01 I 'M VERY SORRY , MISS FOTHERINGILL . $
I HOPE YOUR THUMB WILL BE ALL RIGHT . $
15 LOOK , IT 'S BLEEDING . $
HE 'S GOT TEETH LIKE RAZOR BLADES . $
WHAT ON EARTH DO YOU FEED HIM ON ? $
ALL THOSE TEETH AT TEN MONTHS . $
02 HE 'S JUST ADVANCED . $
15 ADVANCED ? $
HAVE YOU GOT A BANDAGE ? $
01 PERHAPS YOU OUGHT TO BATHE IT WITH SOMETHING . $
02 WHAT DO YOU WANT DISINFECTANT FOR ? $
DO YOU THINK MY CHILD'S TEETH ARE DIRTY ? $
THAT 'S A GOOD CLEAN WOUND , IT WILL HEAL UP IN COUPLE OF DA
YS . $
HE 'S NEVER BITTEN ANYONE BEFORE , YOU 'RE HIS FIRST VICTIM
. $
15 AND I HOPE THE LAST . $
01 I THINK HE OUGHT TO BE TALKED VERY SEVERELY TO . $
15 QUITE SO , A FIRM REPRIMAND . $
02 WELL , HOW CAN HE BE PUNISHED FOR SOMETHING HE DID ACCIDE
NTALLY IN HIS SLEEP ? $
THAT 'S A BIT MUCH ISN'T IT ? $
01 HE SPOILS HIM . $
GARY ISN'T FIRM ENOUGH WITH HIM . $
15 AH , MOTHERS WILL BE ... I MEAN FATHERS CAN BE . $
OH WELL , IT IS RATHER CONFUSING . $
NOW MR. ROGERS , LET 'S HAVE A CHAT ABOUT BABY'S DIET . $
01 AND THAT MEANS NO MORE BOOZE FOR ANDREW . $
15 BOOSE ? $
15 TIME , I SHALL NEED TIME . $
14 NOT TOO MUCH I HOPE . $
THERE ARE NUMEROUS PRESSURES UPON ALL SIDES IN THIS AFFAIR ,
 AND WE 'RE LOOKING TOWARDS YOU , MISS FOTHERINGILL . $
WE HAVE ALL READ YOUR REPORT MOST ATTENTIVELY . $
TELL ME , MISS FOTHERINGILL , THOSE TWO YOUNG FELLOWS , ARE
THEY ... ER , WHAT IS THE WORD ? $
15 CAMP , SIR ? $
14 MMM , HAS IT BEEN VERY DISTASTEFUL , MISS FOTHERINGILL ?
$
15 WELL NO , SIR , RATHER COSY REALLY . $
MR. DART IS A PERFECT BRICK , BUT MR. ROGERS , SIR , HE FEEL
S SO INTENSELY ABOUT THAT CHILD . $
14 AH YES , NOW TELL ME ABOUT THE LITTLE FELLOW . $
#35 $
15 WELL , SIR , HE ATTACKED ME . $
14 THE CHILD - $
WITH HIS RATTLE ? $
15 NO , SIR - HIS TEETH . $
HE HAS ALL HIS TEETH AT TEN MONTHS . $
14 IS THAT UNUSUAL ? $
15 UNUSUAL ! $
IT 'S BIZARRE . $
BUT I REALLY FEEL , SIR , THAT IF WE COULD BREAK DOWN THE FA
MILY UNIT IT WOULD HELP CONSIDERABLY . $
14 THE FAMILY UNIT ? $
15 I USE THE EXPRESSION TO DESCRIBE THE TWO MEN AND THEIR CH
ILD . $
YOU SEE , I 'M QUITE SURE PART OF THE RESISTANCE THAT MR. RO
GERS FEELS TO ANY OUTSIDE INTERFERENCE , COMES FROM A MYTH .
.. $
THE STRENGTH HE ACTUALLY COMMUNICATES , SIR , COMES FROM A S
TRONG BELIEF THAT HE AND MR. DART SHOULD REMAIN FOREVER TOGE
THER . $
NOW MR. DART IS CERTAINLY A VERY WEAK PERSONALITY , AND IF H
E COULD BE PERSUADED TO LEAVE THEM , AND WE COULD SUBSTITUTE
 THE GIRL FRIEND , MISS , UH , SALLY TURNER , THEN I AM QUIT
E CERTAIN IT WOULD WEAKEN MR. ROGERS' RESISTANCE . $
14 YES , I WAS INTERESTED TO SEE THAT THERE WAS A GIRL IN IT
 . $
I 'M GLAD TO SEE SHE WAS FRIENDLY DISPOSED TOWARDS YOU . $
YOU MUST WORK ON THAT IDEA . $
15 AND YOUR DECISION ABOUT NOT GIVING THEM BETTER ACCOMMODAT
ION , I TAKE IT IS FINAL , SIR . $
14 YES , MISS FOTHERINGILL , YOU MAY TAKE IT AS FINAL . $
WHAT A PITY THIS YOUNG MAN IS BEHAVING SO STUPIDLY . $
IF HE DOESN'T CO-OPERATE SOON , MISS FOTHERINGILL , WE SHALL
 HAVE TO ARRANGE EVERYTHING WITHOUT HIS ACQUIESCENCE . $
15 I DO HOPE NOT , SIR . $
14 AFTER ALL , HE HAS NO FAMILY , AND I CAN'T IMAGINE MR. DA
RT WILL KICK UP MUCH FUSS . $
HE CAN PROBABLY BE PAID OFF IN SOME KIND OF WAY . $
BUT I WOULD PREFER TO AVOID ANY UNPLEASANTNESS AT THIS STAGE
 . $
15 I QUITE UNDERSTAND , SIR . $
I SHALL DO EVERYTHING IN MY POWER . $
14 YES , JUST PURSUE THAT IDEA , MISS FOTHERINGILL , BREAK U
P THE FAMILY UNIT . $
YOU 'RE ON THE RIGHT TRACK THERE . $
JUST USE YOUR WOMAN'S WILES . $
15 I DON'T THINK THEY 'LL BE MUCH USE THERE , SIR . $
15 OF COURSE , THERE IS SOMETHING SO INDECENT ABOUT IT . $
12 I KNOW , I KNOW . $
THAT 'S WHAT 'S BEEN WORRYING ME . $
15 ALMOST OBSCENE , REALLY . $
DOESN'T BEAR THINKING ABOUT . $
12 AND HE 'S SUCH A NICE BOY . $
WHY SHOULD IT HAVE HAPPENED TO HIM ? $
SOMETHING QUITE AS HORRID AS THAT ? $
I REMEMBER WHEN HE WAS WORKING IN THE LIBRARY , AND WE ALL T
HOUGHT HE WAS PUTTING ON WEIGHT . $
OH , HE WAS TERRIBLY NEUROTIC ABOUT IT . $
POOR GARY . $
15 I MEAN IF IT 'S GOING TO BE POSSIBLE FOR OTHERS , IT TAKE
S AWAY , FROM OUR SEX , DEAR SALLY , IN SUCH AN ABSOLUTE WAY
 . $
I MEAN , WHAT ARE YOUNG SCHOOLGIRLS GOING TO FEEL IF THEY CA
N'T BELIEVE THAT ONE OF THE MOST UNIQUE AND MIRACULOUS OPPOR
TUNITIES IN NATURE , IS THEIRS UTTERLY BY RIGHT ? $
WHAT ARE THOSE GIRLS GOING TO FEEL , SALLY ? $
12 I KNOW , MISS FOTHERINGILL , $
IT MAKES YOU FEEL KIND OF ... INSECURE . $
15 QUITE SO . $
IT 'S AS IF HE 'S VIOLATED US , STOLEN THIS FROM US . $
I 'M NOT SURE WHETHER I SHOULD FEEL THIS OR NOT , BUT I 'M A
NGRY , I 'M OUTRAGED . $
I 'VE TRIED TO CONTROL THESE FEELINGS , DO MY JOB WELL . $
12 I THINK THOSE FEELINGS ARE VERY NATURAL , MISS FOTHERINGI
LL , I THINK IT SHOWS WHAT A WARM HUMAN BEING YOU ARE . $
15 THANK YOU , SALLY . $
I 'M SO GLAD WE 'RE SUCH GOOD FRIENDS . $
02 DID I TELL YOU , TOM ? $
I CAN'T KEEP COUNT OF HIS VOCABULARY NOW . $
IT 'S JUST AMAZING . $
I MEAN , I CAN ALMOST CARRY ON A CONVERSATION WITH HIM LIKE
I CAN WITH YOU . $
IT 'S INCREDIBLE . $
HE 'LL BE ONE YEAR OLD TOMORROW . $
HE 'S LOOKING FORWARD TO THE CAKE , TOM . $
AND DO YOU KNOW , IT 'S QUITE MARVELLOUS BUT HE SEEMS TO UND
ERSTAND EVERYTHING . $
THAT 'S THE FEELING HE GIVES ME ANYWAY . $
HE 'S VERY AFFECTIONATE , ISN'T HE ? $
HE DOES LOVE US BOTH . $
AREN'T YOU PROUD OF HIM ? $
HE 'S GOING TO BE A REAL CREDIT TO US WHEN HE 'S GROWN UP ,
ISN'T HE , TOM ? $
01 I SUPPOSE SO . $
02 BUT YOU ARE PROUD OF HIM ? $
01 WELL ... IF WE COULD SHOW HIM TO THE NEIGHBOURS MORE OR L
IVE IN A BETTER PLACE , OR LET HIM MIX WITH THE OTHER KIDS .
 $
BUT IT 'S SUCH AN AWKWARD SITUATION . $
I HATE LYING ALL THE TIME . $
02 YOU COULD SAY THE TRUTH . $
01 WHAT ! $
AND HAVE PEOPLE SAY I 'M INSANE ? $
02 OH HELL , WHY ARE PEOPLE SO BLIND , WHY CAN'T THEY JUST A
CCEPT A MIRACLE IF IT HAPPENS ? $
ALWAYS WANTING TO SUBJECT IT TO SCIENTIFIC ANALYSIS , TEARIN
G THE WINGS OFF A BUTTERFLY TO SEE HOW IT FLIES . $
LIKE THAT AWFUL MISS FOTHERINGILL WHO WAS HERE AGAIN TODAY .
... $
01 I THINK SHE 'S VERY NICE . $
I THINK SHE 'S A VERY SENSITIVE WOMAN . $
02 YOU KNOW WHY I DON'T LIKE HER . $
01 WHY ARE YOU SO UNREASONABLE ? $
FOR GOD'S SAKE IT 'S THE MOST NATURAL THING IN THE WORLD THA
T THEY 'RE TAKING THIS SCIENTIFIC INTEREST IN YOU AND ANDREW
 . $
I MEAN JUST SUPPOSE YOU HAD HAD A THALIDOMIDE BABY , THEN YO
U 'D WANT THEM TO DO SOMETHING , WOULDN'T YOU ? $
YOU 'D BE COMPLAINING ABOUT LACK OF GOVERNMENT INTEREST ...
$
02 I JUST WANT TO BE LEFT ALONE , THAT 'S ALL . $
JUST WANT TO BE LEFT ALONE TO BE HAPPY . $
01 I AGREE WITH FOTHERINGILL . $
I THINK YOU 'RE BEING SELFISH . $
SHE SAID IT WOULD ONLY BE FOR THREE MONTHS . $
02 THEN SHE SAID SIX MONTHS . $
AND I BLOODY WELL KNOW ONCE I WAS IN THERE I 'D NEVER COME O
UT , AND NOR WOULD ANDREW . $
WE 'D NEVER SEE EACH OTHER AGAIN . $
DON'T YOU REALISE THAT ? $
01 YOU TALK ABOUT ' THEM ' AS IF THEY 'RE INHUMAN . $
YOU WOULD BE GIVING VALUABLE SCIENTIFIC HELP . $
02 WHY DO YOU WANT US TO GO ? $
YOU WANT TO GET RID OF US , IS THAT IT ? $
YOU 'RE SICK AND TIRED OF THIS DAMNED LIFE WE LEAD . $
01 NO , NO . $
DON'T GET ME WRONG . $
PLEASE , GARY , YOU KNOW HOW HAPPY WE 'VE BEEN TOGETHER , AN
D YOU KNOW THE MORE I 'M WITH ANDREW , I ADORE HIM , THOUGH
THE WAY HE 'S SO ADVANCED IS A BIT ... ODD . $
02 DON'T SAY THAT WORD ' FREAKISH ' . $
IT WAS ON THE TIP OF YOUR TONGUE . $
HE 'S JUST ADVANCED . $
HE 'S JUST UNUSUALLY CLEVER . $
WHAT 'S ALARMING ABOUT THAT ? $
MAYBE'S HE 'S A GENIUS ... $
01 I THINK YOU GIVE HIM TOO MUCH STEAK . $
ALL THAT GOOD RED MEAT , IT COSTS THE EARTH . $
I MEAN , NO WONDER WE 'RE LIVING IN BLOODY SLUM CONDITIONS .
 $
THE LITTLE BASTARD IS EATING US OUT OF HOUSE AND HOME ... $
02 SO YOU RESENT SPENDING MONEY ON YOUR OWN KITH AND KIN , O
N THE ONLY SON YOU 'LL PROBABLY EVER HAVE . $
YOU RESENT MAKING A SACRIFICE JUST FOR A FEW YEARS TO GIVE H
IM THE START HE NEEDS IN LIFE ... $
01 I DIDN'T SAY THAT . $
02 YOU IMPLIED IT . $
01 NO , NO , CALM DOWN . $
JUST LOOK AT YOU . $
YOU NEVER EAT ANYTHING YOURSELF , YOU 'RE LOOKING LIKE A SCA
RECROW ; YOUR WHOLE LIFE IS DRUDGERY CLEARING UP AFTER HIM ,
 FEEDING HIM , PUSHING HIM AROUND IN THE PRAM , WHEN HE 'S G
OT THE STRENGTH OF A BLOODY CARTHORSE . $
IF HE PUT YOU IN THE PRAM , HE 'D PUSH YOU TO THE PARK . $
IT 'S ALL RIDICULOUS , AND I 'M FED UP WITH IT . $
EIGHTEEN MONTHS AGO , I HAD A JOLLY GOOD JOB ; WE HAD A NICE
 FLAT OVERLOOKING THE PARK , AND WE WERE VERY CONTENTED ...
$
02 CONTENTED ! $
OH , FINE , CONTENTED YOU SAY . $
YOU 'RE JUST LIKE YOUR BLOODY MOTHER - BOURGEOIS AND DULL .
$
CONTENT TO LIVE ONE-THIRD OF YOUR EXISTENCE , AND LEAVE THE
OTHER TWO-THIRDS UNEXPLORED . $
YOU 'RE SO DAMNED CAUTIOUS AND FRIGHTENED . $
YOU DON'T DESERVE ANDREW ... $
01 I NEVER REALLY WANTED HIM . $
02 NO , YOU DON'T DESERVE HIM . $
YOU HAVEN'T EVEN EARNT HIM . $
I HAVE , I 'M WILLING TO SACRIFICE MY WHOLE LIFE TO SEE HIM
STRONG AND HAPPY , LEADING A GOOD , KIND LIFE , NEVER VICIOU
S , NEVER BITTER . $
WE TALK ABOUT ALL THAT NOW , YES WE DO . $
IN THE PARK , WE TALK ABOUT GOOD AND EVIL . $
HE SAYS : ' DADDY ONE , WHY ARE SOME PEOPLE GOOD AND SOME PE
OPLE UNKIND ? ' $
AND I TRY AND ANSWER HIM . $
HE SAID TO ME THIS MORNING : ' WHY IS DADDY TWO SO CROSS WIT
H YOU SOMETIMES ? ' $
I DEFENDED YOU , OH YES I DID . $
I SAID : ' DADDY TWO IS NEVER REALLY CROSS WITH ME , DARLING
 . $
#36 $
DADDY TWO IS JUST A BIT IRRITABLE SOMETIMES , BECAUSE HE WOR
KS HARD IN THE OFFICE . ' $
AND HE SAID : ' I DON'T LIKE DADDY TWO BEING CROSS WITH YOU
. $
IT UPSETS ME . ' $
01 IT UPSETS HIM ? $
02 YES . $
THAT CHILD DOESN'T MISS A THING . $
01 OH MY GOD , HOW CAN WE UPSET HIM . $
WHAT ARE WE QUARRELLING FOR ? $
WHAT DID I SAY ? $
02 YOU SAID YOU RESENTED HAVING TO LIVE IN A SLUM ... $
01 NO . $
NO . $
I MEAN IT 'S YOU I 'M WORRIED ABOUT . $
GARY , LISTEN TO ME . $
DON'T YOU THINK , MAYBE , YOU LOVE HIM TOO MUCH ? $
MAYBE YOU 'VE GOT A BIT OBSESSED ? $
02 THAT 'S IT . $
NOW WE 'RE GETTING TO THE REAL CRUNCH OF THE MATTER . $
YOU 'RE JEALOUS OF HIM , AREN'T YOU ? $
DON'T DENY IT . $
I 'VE KNOWN ALL ALONG . $
OH , IT WAS ALWAYS IN LITTLE THINGS , AND I 'D THINK : TOM W
ILL GET OVER IT , HE 'LL GET ADJUSTED , I KNOW HE 'S JEALOUS
 NOW , BUT WHEN ANDREW 'S A YEAR OLD HE 'LL HAVE GOT USED TO
 THE IDEA . $
BUT IT 'S WORSE , MUCH WORSE NOW , THAN IT EVER WAS . $
01 I 'M NOT JEALOUS , GARY . $
I SWEAR I 'M NOT . $
02 YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU 'RE SAYING HALF THE TIME . $
YOU COMPLAIN UNCEASINGLY THAT I 'M GIVING ANDREW ALL MY SPAR
E TIME . $
THAT WE NEVER GO OUT BECAUSE WE CAN'T HAVE A BABY-SITTER . $
THAT OUR DOMESTIC LIFE IS HELL BECAUSE OF HIM . $
01 WELL , IT 'S THE TRUTH , ISN'T IT ? $
02 YOU 'RE ALL SURFACE AREN'T YOU MATE ? $
ALL YOU THINK ABOUT IS THE KIND OF PLACE WE LIVE IN , YOUR P
AY PACKET , THE FILMS , PLAYS , DINNER-PARTIES WE USED TO GO
 TO . $
THAT WAS ALL YOUR WHOLE BLOODY LIFE . $
HAVEN'T YOU EVER STOPPED FOR ONE MINUTE AND THOUGHT THAT WE
'VE CREATED A NEW HUMAN BEING , A TINY CREATURE WHO LOOKS TO
 US FOR LOVE , GUIDANCE AND SECURITY , WHO TRUSTS BOTH OF US
 ABSOLUTELY ? $
ISN'T THAT THE MOST REMARKABLE THING THAT 'S EVER HAPPENED T
O YOU ? $
HASN'T IT CHANGED YOUR WHOLE EXISTENCE ? $
01 YES , GARY , I SUPPOSE IT HAS . $
02 NO IT HASN'T . $
DON'T BLEEDING LIE TO ME . $
I 'VE CHANGED BUT YOU HAVEN'T . $
YOU 'RE STILL WHINING ON ABOUT THOSE GREAT TIMES YOU 'VE MIS
SED . $
WELL , I 'VE TOLD YOU BEFORE , YOU DON'T NEED TO BE RESPONSI
BLE FOR US . $
I CAN LOOK AFTER ANDREW , YOU CAN GO ANY TIME . $
02 OH HELL , I DIDN'T MEAN ALL THAT . $
WHY DO I GET SO UPSET ? $
HE TRIES . $
TOM TRIES SO HARD . $
WHY CAN'T I REMEMBER THOSE THINGS , INSTEAD OF ALWAYS FLINGI
NG HIS FAILINGS IN HIS FACE ... OH SHIT ... I 'M MUCH TOO TI
RED . $
WHERE 'S TOM ? $
OH BABY , WHERE IS HE ? $
IT 'S YOUR BIRTHDAY AND EVERYTHING SHOULD BE SO HAPPY FOR YO
U , BABY , AND NOW DADDY ONE HAS BEHAVED SO VICIOUSLY VIOLEN
TLY AND LIKE I 'M TELLING YOU ALWAYS THE WORLD SHOULDN'T BEH
AVE . $
OH DARLING BABY , YOU 'RE GOING TO GROW UP TO BE GOOD , KIND
 AND VERY GENTLE ... $
WHAT 'S THAT ? $
DID YOU HEAR DADDY TWO ? $
02 WHAT IS IT ? $
01 IT 'S HIS BIRTHDAY PRESENT . $
02 BUT IT 'S A SURPRISE , YOU DIDN'T TELL ME . $
WHAT IS IT ? $
I CAN'T WAIT . $
01 IT 'S A TRICYCLE . $
IT 'S REALLY FOR THREE-YEAR-OLDS , BUT I THINK HE 'LL BE ABL
E TO MANAGE IT , DON'T YOU ? $
02 MANAGE IT ? $
HE 'LL BE RACING THE MOTOR-SCOOTERS IN HYDE PARK TOMORROW .
$
IT 'S BEAUTIFUL . $
OH HE 'S GOING TO BE SO HAPPY . $
BUT , TOM , HOW COULD YOU HAVE AFFORDED IT ? $
WE 'RE SO HARD UP . $
I THOUGHT WE WERE JUST GOING TO GIVE HIM THAT BOOK . $
01 I KNOW , BUT I WANTED TO PLEASE YOU BOTH . $
I BORROWED SOME MONEY FROM MOTHER . $
SHE TOOK IT OUT OF THE NATIONAL SAVINGS . $
I 'LL PAY HER BACK BEFORE THE SUMMER . $
02 NO , WE BOTH WILL . $
I 'M GOING TO GET SOME WORK IN , THAT I CAN DO AT HOME IN TH
E EVENINGS . $
01 YOU DO TOO MUCH ALREADY . $
WHAT KIND OF WORK ? $
02 TYPING . $
TYPING MANUSCRIPTS AND THINGS . $
YOU SEE , TOM , YOU WERE RIGHT IN A WAY YESTERDAY . $
WE CAN'T GO ON LIVING LIKE THIS . $
IT 'S AWFUL , JUST BLOODY AWFUL . $
BUT HALF THE TIME I NEVER SEE IT . $
I 'M TOO HAPPY INSIDE THINKING ALL THE TIME OF ANDREW AND BE
ING HAPPY , JUST BEING HAPPY . $
I NEVER SEE WHERE WE 'RE LIVING . $
I 'M SORRY WE QUARRELLED . $
01 SO AM I . $
I DIDN'T MEAN ANYTHING I SAID . $
02 NOR DID I . $
01 SHALL WE TAKE IT INTO HIM NOW ? $
02 HE 'LL BE JUST WAKING UP . $
01 YOU WOULDN'T LET HIM RIDE NEAR TRAFFIC , WOULD YOU ? $
I MEAN HE 'S GOING TO BE SAFE ON IT , ISN'T HE ? $
02 OH DON'T BE SILLY . $
HE 'S FULL OF COMMONSENSE . $
NO . $
JUST WAIT UNTIL YOU SEE HIS FACE LIGHT UP . $
01 I 'M GLAD WE 'VE GOT HIM , GARY . $
I WOULDN'T BE WITHOUT HIM FOR THE WORLD . $
I DON'T CARE HOW DIFFICULT IT 'S BEEN , IT DOESN'T MATTER AN
Y LONGER . $
HE 'S OUR SON , AND HE 'S MARVELLOUS . $
09 IF ONLY IT HADN'T HAPPENED SO SUDDEN . $
ONE MINUTE TALKING TO ME THROUGH THE KITCHEN WINDOW AND THEN
 ... $
01 MOTHER , TRY NOT TO THINK ... $
09 I ALWAYS SAID THAT LAWN-MOWER WAS TOO HARD TO PUSH , IT N
EEDED OILING . $
THE DOCTOR SAID NOTHING COULD BE DONE . $
I THINK THE FUNERAL RECEPTION WENT VERY WELL , DON'T YOU , T
OM ? $
DID YOU NOTICE HOW ADA 'S GOT SO DEAF LATELY ? $
01 MOTHER , DRINK YOUR TEA . $
I SHALL BE HAVING TO CATCH THE SEVEN O'CLOCK BACK INTO TOWN
. $
09 YES I KNEW YOU WOULDN'T BE STAYING . $
I TOLD MYSELF THAT , I SAID : ' VERA , DON'T YOU THINK YOU C
AN RELY ON YOUR ONLY SON AT THIS TRAGIC MOMENT , WHEN MY WHO
LE WORLD HAS CRUMBLED INTO DUST , WHEN ' I DON'T EVEN KNOW H
OW MUCH THE INSURANCE IS , OR HOW MUCH MORTGAGE THERE 'S STI
LL TO PAY ON THE HOUSE . $
YOU 'D PUT YOUR MOTHER INTO AN OLD PEOPLE'S 'OME , WOULDN'T
YOU ? $
01 MOTHER DO TRY AND CALM YOURSELF . $
YOU TOLD ME THAT THE NEIGHBOUR WAS SLEEPING IN TONIGHT , AND
 YOU KNOW I 'M GOING INTO ALL THE ECONOMIC AFFAIRS TOMORROW
. $
YOU MUSTN'T GET YOURSELF WROUGHT UP . $
09 WROUGHT UP ? $
JACK WAS A GOOD MAN , SOLID AND RESPECTABLE , NEVER AN UNKIN
D WORD FOR ME IN THIRTY-EIGHT YEARS , A GENTLE , GOOD , QUIE
T MAN . $
01 HE WAS CERTAINLY QUIET , MOTHER , I CAN HARDLY REMEMBER H
IM COMMENTING UPON ANYTHING . $
09 IT 'S THE SILENT ONES THAT ARE THE STRONGEST . $
01 YES , MOTHER . $
SHALL I POUR YOU OUT ANOTHER CUP ? $
09 NOT SO MUCH MILK THIS TIME . $
WELL , TOM , I 'VE BEEN THINKING . $
MAYBE I 'LL SELL THIS HOUSE , IT 'S GOT TOO MANY MEMORIES Y'
 SEE , BESIDES IT 'S FAR TOO BIG FOR JUST ME . $
01 YOU COULD TAKE IN LODGERS . $
09 IN JACK'S HOUSE ? $
TOUCHING JACK'S THINGS ? $
USING JACK'S LAWN-MOWER ? $
DO YOU THINK I COULD SEE STRANGERS DOING THAT ? $
HAVE YOU NO HEART , TOM ? $
NO , WHAT I WAS THINKING WAS , THAT IF I COULD GET A GOOD PR
ICE FOR THIS , I 'D MAYBE BUY A LITTLE FLAT NEARER THE CENTR
E OF TOWN , BIG ENOUGH SO THAT YOU AND ANDREW COULD LIVE WIT
H ME . $
01 YOU MUSTN'T BE TOO HASTY , MOTHER . $
THESE THINGS ARE BEST WORKED OUT AFTER A LOT OF THOUGHT . $
09 WELL THAT DOESN'T SOUND VERY ENTHUSIASTIC . $
LOOK AT THE FILTHY LITTLE ROOMS YOU 'VE BEEN LIVING IN . $
01 MOTHER , IT 'S ALL RATHER SUDDEN . $
AND THEN THERE 'S GARY ISN'T THERE ? $
I MEAN , HE DOES EVERYTHING FOR ANDREW ; I MEAN HE 'S VERY ,
 VERY FOND OF HIM . $
WE CAN'T JUST TAKE ANDREW AWAY FROM GARY , CAN WE ? $
09 IT 'S YOUR SON , TOM , DON'T FORGET THAT . $
DON'T LET YOURSELF BE SWAYED INTO BELIEVING THAT HE 'S NOT Y
OUR SON . $
THAT LAST TIME I WAS THERE I SAW A STRIKING RESEMBLANCE TO M
YSELF . $
#37 $
HE 'S GOT THE SAME COLOUR EYES , AND I MUST SAY NOW , I 'VE
NEVER BEEN GIVEN ANY CREDIT FOR TAKING THIS AFFAIR AS WELL A
S I HAVE . $
NEVER ONCE HAVE I SAID , TOM , THAT YOU WERE WRONG TO DO AS
YOU DID , NOW HAVE I ? $
THE ONLY PERSON I MENTIONED IT TO OUTSIDE THESE FOUR WALLS ,
 WAS THE VICAR , AND HE JUST SIGHED . $
YOU 'LL HAVE TO HURRY IF YOU 'RE GOING TO CATCH THAT TRAIN .
 $
01 IT 'S NO GOOD , MOTHER , I 'VE MISSED IT NOW . $
09 IF YOU RUN YOU MIGHT CATCH IT . $
01 NO . $
09 WELL , THERE 'S ALWAYS THE NEXT , ISN'T THERE ? $
POUR ME OUT ANOTHER CUP , DEAR , AND COULD YOU GET ME THE PO
UF , ME ANKLES 'AVE SWOLLEN UP WITH ALL THAT STANDING AROUND
. $
02 THAT WAS A MARVELLOUS MEAL , SALLY , I CAN'T REMEMBER WHE
N I 'VE EATEN SO WELL . $
I WISH I COULD LEARN TO COOK . $
ANDREW GETS A BIT TIRED OF TINS AND FROZEN FOOD . $
12 WELL IF ONLY I WAS HERE ALL THE TIME , I 'D COOK ALL HIS
MEALS . $
02 YES , HE 'D LIKE THAT . $
DO YOU THINK HE 'S GOING TO MISS NOT HAVING A MOTHER ? $
OR AM I REALLY THE COMPLETE SUBSTITUTE ? $
I WISH I KNEW . $
12 WELL YOU KNOW WHAT MISS FOTHERINGILL SAYS . $
02 NOW WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BRING HER UP ? $
AS FAR AS I 'M CONCERNED SHE 'S JUST FULL OF CLICHES . $
AND I DON'T KNOW HOW ANYONE CAN KNOW ABOUT CHILDREN UNLESS T
HEY HAVE HAD THEM . $
12 I THINK SHE 'S VERY WISE AND ONE OF THE KINDEST PERSONS I
 KNOW . $
I MEAN SHE TAKES AN AWFUL LOT OF TROUBLE OVER YOU AND ANDREW
. $
D' YOU THINK HE KNOWS ? $
02 WHO ? $
12 ANDREW . $
I MEAN KNOWS THAT HE 'S JUST GOT TWO FATHERS AND NO ... $
02 OH , I THINK HE DOES , HE REALISES HE 'S RATHER SPECIAL ,
 IN FACT I 'VE HEARD HIM BOASTING TO THE OTHER KIDS . $
' I 'VE GOT TWO DADDIES ' , HE SAYS . $
12 BUT DON'T THEY SAY ' WHERE 'S YOUR MUMMY ? ' $
02 HE TOLD THEM , QUITE EMPHATICALLY : ' MY MUMMY IS INSIDE
DADDY ONE ' . $
THERE 'S NO BEATING ABOUT THE BUSH IN THAT KID . $
12 YOU DO ADORE HIM , DON'T YOU ? $
THAT 'S ALL , WE 'RE FINISHED . $
NOW , DANCE WITH ME . $
ARE THERE TIMES WHEN YOU LIE IN BED AND WANT WOMEN ? $
I DON'T MEAN ME , OF COURSE IT WOULD BE NICE IF YOU WANTED M
E ; NO I JUST MEAN WOMEN . $
02 WELL ... NOT ANY MORE , NOT AFTER ANDREW , THAT CHANGED M
E . $
BUT BEFORE THEN I SUPPOSE SO . $
12 I NEVER THOUGHT YOU WERE REALLY QUEER . $
02 NO ONE 'S REALLY ANYTHING ANY MORE . $
WE 'RE ALL A COMPLICATED MIXTURE . $
IT JUST DEPENDS WHAT WE CHOOSE TO BE , WHICH PARTS OF OURSEL
VES WE 'RE GOING TO EXPLORE . $
12 BUT YOU NEVER CHOSE TO BE A MOTHER . $
02 NO , THAT JUST HAPPENED . $
YES , LOTS OF THINGS JUST HAPPEN . $
12 DIDN'T FRIGHTEN YOU ? $
02 OF COURSE . $
12 VERY MUCH ? $
02 IT WAS TERRIFYING , JUST TERRIFYING . $
12 IN WHAT WAY ? $
TELL ME . $
02 JUST THIS LOSS OF IDENTITY . $
THE GARY I KNEW BEFORE WAS SOMEHOW SUDDENLY SUCKED INTO THE
UNKNOWN , AND AT THE SAME TIME THERE WERE VARIOUS OTHER CONC
EPTS OF MYSELF FLOATING AROUND IN MY CONSCIOUSNESS TRYING TO
 KNIT THEMSELVES TOGETHER INTO SOMETHING THAT I COULD RECOGN
ISE AND BECOME AWARE OF . $
12 I DON'T THINK YOU 'RE AS DIFFERENT AS YOU WANT TO BE . $
WHY CAN'T YOU JUST ENJOY SEX , FOR WHAT IT IS . $
I DO . $
IT 'S GREAT . $
WHY MUST YOU ALWAYS GET SO DAMNED EARNEST ABOUT IT , SPOILS
ALL THE FUN ... OH , GARY . $
02 YOU 'RE DRUNK . $
12 WELL , WHAT IF I AM , JUST A BIT HIGH THAT 'S ALL . $
KISS ME , GO ON , LIKE YOU DID ONCE ... $
THERE MMM , THAT WAS LOVELY . $
DON'T GO AWAY ... $
02 IT 'S WRONG . $
12 NO IT 'S NOT , JUST NICE , THAT 'S ALL . $
02 IT 'S WRONG . $
I 'M A MOTHER ... I CAN'T GO AROUND KISSING GIRLS , IT 'S AL
L WRONG . $
12 OH GARY , WHY CAN'T YOU RELAX AND JUST ENJOY YOURSELF ? $
YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT HELL IT IS BEING IN LOVE WITH A QUEER .
$
HASN'T IT EVER CROSSED YOUR MIND THAT I 'D LIKE TO BE A MOTH
ER , TOO ? $
02 THERE 'S TOO MUCH HAPPENING , TOO MUCH ON MY MIND . $
12 YOU 'RE THE MOST FRIGHTFUL PURITANICAL BORE . $
WHY DON'T YOU JOIN THE MOTHERS' UNION AT THE LOCAL CHURCH -
YOU 'LL BE AT HOME THERE . $
02 THAT 'S TOM . $
12 I 'LL PUT THE LIGHTS UP . $
02 HI . $
WAS IT VERY AWFUL ? $
YOU 'RE VERY LATE . $
01 SHE 'S GOT OCTOPUS TENTACLES , NOT ARMS OR LEGS , LIKE TH
AT BLOODY INDIAN GODDNESS . $
12 WHO ? $
01 MY MOTHER . $
TENTACLES WITH GREAT SUCKERS ON THEM . $
I 'M ALL BRUISED AND BATTERED . $
GOD , GARY , SOMETIMES I THINK YOU WERE SO LUCKY HAVING YOUR
 PARENTS POLISHED OFF IN THE BLITZ . $
12 WELL YOU 'VE ONLY GOT ONE TO BOTHER ABOUT NOW . $
01 YES BUT THE ONE THAT 'S GONE WAS NEVER REALLY HERE . $
OH HELL , WHAT AM I GOING TO DO ? $
SHE 'S GOT A PLAN , AND WHEN SHE 'S GOT A PLAN , SHE ... $
02 WHAT IS IT ? $
01 OH , SHE WAS GOING ON ABOUT ME AND ANDREW LIVING WITH HER
 IN SOME FLAT . $
02 WHAT ? $
HOW DARE SHE ? $
01 DON'T WORRY . $
I WOULDN'T LET HER . $
02 WOULDN'T LET HER ? $
SHE WOULDN'T HAVE A CHANCE . $
12 YOU 'RE JUST SO OBSTINATE , ANYONE WOULD THINK THAT YOU L
IKED LIVING IN A SLUM . $
01 IT MIGHT NOT BE TOO BAD . $
ONE GETS USED TO ANYTHING IN THE END . $
BESIDES I 'VE GOT RESPONSIBILITIES . $
HA ! $
THAT 'S HIS FAVOURITE WORD . $
I 'M RESPONSIBLE TO ME MUM , AREN'T I ? $
I CAN'T LET THE OLD TROUT PINE AWAY ALL ON HER OWN . $
02 JUST TELL ME , IF YOU CAN , WHAT ONE GOOD THING , APART F
ROM CONCEIVING YOU , SHE 'S EVER DONE THAT 'S BEEN GOOD FOR
YOU ? $
01 DON'T YOU SAY A WORD AGAINST HER . $
SHE 'S ALL RIGHT , MY MUM , SHE 'S OKAY ... $
02 SHE TOOK AWAY ANY BELIEF THAT YOU WERE HUMAN , MUCH LESS
A MAN . $
01 HE RESENTS HER , HE 'S NEVER LIKED HER , IT 'S BECAUSE YO
U HAVEN'T GOT A MOTHER , YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND . $
ISN'T THAT RIGHT , SALLY ? $
12 NOBODY 'S RIGHT FOR YOU , EXCEPT YOURSELF . $
THAT 'S YOUR TROUBLE , YOU 'RE TOO SMUG . $
01 THAT 'S RIGHT , SALLY 'S RIGHT . $
YOU 'RE SO WRAPPED UP IN THAT CHILD , YOU NEVER THINK OF ANY
ONE ELSE . $
ANYWAY , WHAT AM I GOING TO DO ? $
02 NOTHING , IT 'S WHAT YOU 'VE ALWAYS DONE . $
12 I DON'T SEE WHY YOUR MOTHER SHOULDN'T GET A FLAT WHICH WO
ULD BE NEARER YOU . $
I MEAN YOU NEEDN'T LIVE WITH HER . $
SHE 'D BE A HELP AND EVERYTHING . $
02 WHOSE SIDE ARE YOU ON ? $
12 NO ONE'S SIDE . $
I 'M GOING . $
GOODNIGHT . $
02 YOU MUSTN'T WORRY , TOM , SO MUCH . $
IT WILL BE ALL RIGHT . $
DON'T LET PEOPLE MAKE SO MANY DEMANDS ON YOU . $
YOU 'RE ALWAYS DOING TOO MUCH FOR PEOPLE . $
DON'T LET THEM GET ON TOP OF YOU . $
01 YOU MAKE DEMANDS , YOU MAKE MORE DEMANDS THAN ANYONE , YO
U ALWAYS DID . $
I 'M SURE ALL THIS WOULD NEVER HAVE HAPPENED IF YOU HADN'T A
LWAYS BEEN SO POSSESSIVE . $
WHAT 'S A LITTLE UNFAITHFULNESS BETWEEN LOVERS ANYWAY , WHAT
 DOES IT MATTER ? $
OH NO , WE HAD TO DO EVERYTHING TOGETHER DIDN'T WE . $
I MEAN I MIGHT JUST AS WELL HAVE MARRIED THE GIRL NEXT DOOR
AND SETTLED DOWN IN A SEMI . $
02 DO YOU WANT TO GET OUT OF IT ? $
DO YOU WANT TO GO ? $
YOU 'VE ALWAYS BEEN FREE TO . $
01 NO I HAVEN'T . $
LOOK AT THE WAY YOU SAY THAT AS IF IT 'S GOING TO BE THE BLO
ODY END OF THE WORLD . $
HOW CAN I GO ? $
02 SORRY I CAN'T SAY IT ANY OTHER WAY . $
ANYWAY I SAID IT AND I MEANT IT . $
#38 $
01 I THINK I 'VE GOT TO GO . $
I CAN'T SEE ANY OTHER WAY . $
YOU SEE , IT 'S GOING TO BE SUCH HELL EVERY TIME I SEE HER .
 $
YOU 'D LET ME VISIT ANDREW WOULDN'T YOU ? $
I MEAN I CAN TELL HER THAT HE 'S BEEN ADOPTED . $
SHE NEEDN'T HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH HIM . $
BUT I KNOW HER , SHE 'LL NAG AND NAG AND NAG TILL SHE GETS H
ER OWN WAY , SO I MIGHT JUST AS WELL GIVE IN NOW . $
I 'LL SEND YOU SOME MONEY EACH WEEK . $
THAT WOULD ONLY BE RIGHT WOULDN'T IT ? $
02 THERE 'S NO NEED . $
WE 'LL MANAGE . $
IF YOU DON'T WANT TO BE AROUND , WE DON'T WANT YOUR MONEY EI
THER ... $
01 BUT HOW WILL YOU LIVE ? $
YOU 'VE GOT TO TAKE THE MONEY . $
02 NO . $
15 A MOST EXTRAORDINARY CHILD . $
NEVER IN MY FORTY-FIVE YEARS , NEVER IN MY BORN EXPERIENCE ,
HAVE I SEEN ... $
DO YOU TALK TO HIM ABOUT THE WAR IN VIETNAM ? $
02 WELL YES , IF HE ASKS ME . $
15 HE SEEMS TO HAVE VERY FIRM OPINIONS ABOUT IT . $
HE ASKED ME WHETHER I WAS AN AMERICAN IMPERIALIST . $
02 HE IS RATHER REMARKABLE ISN'T HE ? $
15 MY DEAR MR. ROGERS , I SHOULD WRITE TO MENSA AND PUT HIM
DOWN FOR THEIR IQ TEST . $
NOW HE SEEMS VERY WORRIED ABOUT HIS AGGRESSION , MR. ROGERS
. $
I PARTICULARLY NOTICED THAT HE SEEMS OBSESSED WITH VIOLENCE
. $
02 THAT 'S INTERESTING , THAT 'S VERY INTERESTING , THAT YOU
 NOTICED THAT . $
YOU KNOW IT WORRIES HIM A LOT . $
THAT WAR , FOR INSTANCE , IN VIETNAM , HE CAN'T STAND THE TH
OUGHT OF IT . $
HE GETS WROUGHT UP AND KEEPS ON ASKING ME WHAT HE CAN DO TO
STOP IT . $
WELL WHAT CAN I SAY ? $
AND YES , HE IS SOMETIMES AGGRESSIVE , WITH OTHER CHILDREN .
 $
HE FRIGHTENS THEM ... $
15 YOU DON'T SAY . $
02 HE BARES HIS TEETH . $
THEY 'RE NOT USED TO SEEING TEETH IN SOMEONE AS YOUNG AS THA
T . $
HE JUST BARES HIS TEETH AND HE HISSES AT THEM . $
THEY HOWL , AND THEY GET FRIGHTENED . $
I TELL HIM TO STOP IT , BUT HE JUST LAUGHS . $
AND THEN I SAID : ' YOU 'RE AS BAD AS THE AMERICANS IN VIETN
AM ' , AND THAT MADE HIM CRY . $
YOU SEE , HE 'S TERRIBLY SENSITIVE . $
HE SOBBED AND SOBBED , AND SAID : ' DADDY ONE , THAT 'S A VE
RY CRUEL THING TO SAY TO ME , HOW CAN YOU SAY SUCH A CRUEL D
READFUL THING TO ME . ' $
15 DON'T OVERBURDEN HIS MIND , MR. ROGERS , WITH FALSE IDEOL
OGY . $
YOU AND I LEAD MODEST LIVES . $
WE KNOW THAT WE CANNOT ALTER THE MARCH OF EVENTS , WE MUST B
E HUMBLE ENOUGH TO ACCEPT IT . $
HAS HE BEEN BAPTISED ? $
NO ? $
WHAT A PITY . $
SUCH A SAFEGUARD I ALWAYS THINK . $
NOW GARY , WHAT I SUGGEST IS THAT YOU AND ANDREW ARRIVE AT T
HE LAB FOR A FEW HOURS EACH DAY . $
WILL YOU DO THAT ? $
01 GARY , WAKE UP , WAKE UP , PLEASE . $
QUICK , QUICK . $
02 WHAT IS IT , WHAT 'S THE MATTER . $
01 I GOT UP FOR A PEE , AND I COULDN'T HEAR HIM BREATHING ,
SO I LOOKED IN HIS COT AND HE 'S NOT THERE . $
I 'VE BEEN LOOKING ALL ROUND THE FLAT , HE 'S NOWHERE . $
02 HE MUST HAVE FALLEN OUT OF THE COT . $
HE MUST BE UNDERNEATH , YOU DIDN'T LOOK PROPERLY . $
01 I DID LOOK , I DID . $
02 PUT A LIGHT ON , FOR GOD'S SAKE . $
01 THIS LIGHT DOESN'T WORK . $
02 PUT A LIGHT ON IN THE KITCHEN THEN . $
YOU CAN'T HAVE LOOKED PROPERLY . $
01 GARY , THE KITCHEN WINDOW IS OPEN . $
DO YOU THINK HE WALKED IN HIS SLEEP ? $
OH , MY GOD , I 'M GOING OUT THERE . $
HE MUST HAVE WALKED IN HIS SLEEP , OPENED THE KITCHEN WINDOW
 , AND FALLEN OUT . $
HE 'S LYING DOWN THERE . $
OH , MY GOD . $
01 GARY , CAN YOU HEAR ME ? $
HE 'S NOT DOWN HERE , THANK GOD . $
16 IT 'S FOUR O'CLOCK IN THE BLOODY MORNING . $
CUT THE RACKET OR I 'LL CALL THE POLICE . $
02 COME BACK IN . $
YOU 'LL CATCH YOUR DEATH DOWN THERE . $
01 I LOOKED ALL OVER THE PLACE . $
HE 'S NOT DOWN THERE ... $
WHAT ARE WE TO DO NOW ? $
02 WE WAIT . $
01 WAIT ? $
02 WE WAIT . $
HE 'LL COME BACK , I JUST KNOW HE WILL . $
01 HOW CAN YOU JUST KNOW ? $
I MEAN HOW LONG HAVE WE GOT TO WAIT ? $
I MEAN , I CAN'T JUST WAIT . $
I 'VE GOT TO DO SOMETHING , WHY CAN'T WE GO TO THE POLICE ?
$
WHY CAN'T WE SAY HE 'S MISSING AND THEN THEY 'LL FIND HIM FO
R US . $
I CAN'T JUST SIT HERE AND DO NOTHING ALL NIGHT , GARY . $
02 NO , WE MUST WAIT . $
YOU SEE , HE 'S DONE THIS BEFORE . $
01 DONE WHAT BEFORE ? $
HE 'S NEVER DISAPPEARED BEFORE . $
02 HE 'LL BE BACK BY MORNING , HE ALWAYS HAS BEEN . $
01 WHAT DO YOU MEAN ? $
FOR GOD'S SAKE EXPLAIN . $
02 IT 'S JUST THESE LAST FEW MONTHS . $
I NOTICED ONE OR TWO MORNINGS HIS OUTDOOR CLOTHES . $
THEY WERE DAMP AND MUDDY . $
AND THEN ONE DAY I ASKED HIM . $
I SAID : ' ANDREW , WILL YOU TELL ME THE TRUTH ? $
WHEN DADDY ONE AND TWO ARE FAST ASLEEP , DO YOU SOMETIMES GE
T DRESSED AND GO OUT ? ' $
AND HE SAID : ' I ONLY DO IT WHEN YOU 'RE REALLY FAST ASLEEP
 BECAUSE I WOULDN'T WANT YOU TO WAKE UP AND BE WORRIED ABOUT
 ME . ' $
SO I SAID : ' WELL , WHERE DO YOU GO ? ' $
HE SAID : ' LONDON 'S VERY INTERESTING AT NIGHT , AND I 'M G
ETTING TO KNOW IT . ' $
THAT 'S ALL . $
BUT I FELT HE WASN'T QUITE TELLING ME EVERYTHING AND THAT HE
 WOULDN'T . $
I DIDN'T WANT TO BADGER HIM , I WANT HIM TO BE FREE . $
01 SO YOU THINK HE 'LL BE BACK . $
I CAN'T GO TO SLEEP , CAN YOU ? $
SHALL I MAKE SOME TEA ? $
02 YES , MAKE SOME TEA . $
DO YOU KNOW , TOM , LATELY I 'VE BEGUN TO WONDER JUST WHAT I
T IS WE GAVE BIRTH TO . $
01 GARY , HAVE YOU TOLD HIM THAT I 'M GOING . $
02 NO , NOT YET . $
01 WILL HE ... WILL HE MIND ? $
02 OF COURSE HE 'LL MIND . $
01 VERY MUCH ? $
02 HE LOVES YOU . $
01 BUT IS IT WRONG , WHAT I 'M DOING ? $
02 I DON'T KNOW . $
DON'T YOU KNOW ? $
01 WILL IT DO HIM WRONG ? $
02 POSSIBLY . $
WHO CAN SAY ? $
HE 'LL CRY , I KNOW HE 'LL CRY . $
01 HOW CAN I UPSET HIM ? $
02 YOU 'LL UPSET YOUR MOTHER BY STAYING ... $
01 I DON'T CARE . $
ANDREW MATTERS FAR MORE TO ME . $
IT 'S JUST THAT I THOUGHT WE WERE QUARRELLING SO MUCH NOW IN
 FRONT OF HIM ... WELL , I CAN'T BEAR TO SEE HIS FACE ALL BE
WILDERED AND TORN BETWEEN US BOTH ... EXCEPT HE LOVES YOU MO
RE . $
HE 'S ALWAYS SIDING WITH YOU . $
02 SONS USUALLY DO WITH THEIR MOTHERS . $
LOOK AT YOU . $
01 I SAY , GARY , D' YOU THINK HE 'LL HAVE AN OEDIPUS COMPLE
X ? $
02 I DARESAY HE 'LL HAVE A COMPLEX THAT ISN'T IN THE BOOK YE
T . $
01 WELL , GARY , HE 'S CERTAINLY NOT A NORMAL CHILD ... $
02 AND HE 'S NOT HAVING A VERY NORMAL UPBRINGING , IS HE ? $
I 'M IN THE DARK , I 'M TRYING TO BE SENSITIVE TO HIM , TO B
E THERE WHEN HE NEEDS ME AND NOT TO ASK ... $
OH , I DON'T KNOW , IT 'S HELL NOT KNOWING WHAT HE 'S UP TO
... $
01 YOU LOVE HIM SO MUCH DON'T YOU ... I MEAN , YOU LOVE HIM
FAR MORE THAN YOU LOVE ME , DON'T YOU ? $
D' YOU THINK THAT 'S RIGHT ? $
TO LOVE ANOTHER HUMAN BEING THAT MUCH ... ? $
02 IT 'S JUST ... WELL THERE 'S NO RIGHT OR WRONG IN IT , IS
 THERE ? $
IT 'S JUST A FACT . $
01 BUT THAT 'S WHY WE 'VE BEEN QUARRELLING , DON'T YOU SEE .
.. ? $
02 YOU 'RE JEALOUS . $
01 NO , NOT NECESSARILY . $
YOU 'D GIVE UP EVERYTHING FOR HIM BUT YOU WOULDN'T FOR ME .
$
02 PARENTS ARE LIKE THAT . $
01 BUT SHOULD THEY BE ... ? $
IS IT LOVE OR IS IT POSSESSION ? $
YOU POSSESSED ME , ONCE . $
BUT YOU DON'T WANT ME NOW DO YOU ? $
I CAN GO , YOU SAY , THAT 'S BECAUSE YOU 'VE GOT A NEW POSSE
SSION - ANDREW . $
I CAN'T HELP FEELING THAT IN TWENTY YEARS' TIME YOU 'LL TURN
 INTO MY MOTHER . $
02 GOD FORBID , BUT DON'T YOU SEE , LOVE IS UNSELFISH ... $
#39 $
01 OH NO , NOT THAT KIND , NOT YOUR KIND , IT 'S DESPERATE ,
 IT COMES FROM A BLACK GULF , A GREAT NEUROTIC YAWNING NEED
... $
02 OKAY , OKAY , WHAT DOES THAT PROVE ? $
01 THAT SINCE THE BABY , YOU 'VE GONE AWAY FROM ME ... ANDRE
W 'S BECOME A SUBSTITUTE . $
02 YOU SAY THAT BECAUSE OUR LIFE NOW IS JUST TOO COMPLICATED
 , AND YOU CAN'T COPE . $
01 WHAT 'S THAT SOUND ? $
DID YOU HEAR SOMETHING ? $
GARY IF HE GOES OUT OF THE KITCHEN WINDOW , DO YOU MEAN TO S
AY HE CLIMBS UP AND DOWN THE DRAINPIPE ? $
OUR CHILD , HE DOESN'T SEEM QUITE HUMAN ... DOESN'T THAT WOR
RY YOU ? $
02 MY GOD , YOU 'RE DUMB . $
WHAT DO YOU EXPECT CONSIDERING HOW HE WAS BORN . $
HE 'S SOMETHING UNKNOWN , MYSTERIOUS , EVERY CHILD MUST BE T
HAT REALLY , SOMETHING MIRACULOUS WHO YOU AND I MUST PROTECT
 AS BEST WE CAN . $
01 GARY , CAN'T WE TRY FOR HIS SAKE ... ? $
02 I KNOW . $
01 GARY , WE MUST TRY AGAIN ... $
14 A MATTER OF SOME URGENCY , MISS FOTHERINGILL , I AM MUCH
INDEBTED THAT YOU COULD COME RIGHT AWAY . $
I RECEIVED THIS REPORT THIS MORNING . $
IT WILL SPEAK FOR ITSELF . $
PERHAPS I SHOULD MENTION THAT EVER SINCE THE ROGERS CASE WE
HAVE BEEN ALERTED , WATCHFUL AND OBSERVANT ... $
15 DO YOU MEAN ... ? $
14 I SAID IT SPEAKS FOR ITSELF . $
A SITUATION FULL OF ANXIETY , MISS FOTHERINGILL , WE SHALL A
LL HAVE TO COME TO SOME CONCLUSIONS VERY QUICKLY . $
15 AND IN THE PROVINCES TOO ? $
BIRMINGHAM , BRISTOL , EDINBURGH , MANCHESTER , BRIGHTON ...
 $
14 BILLERICAY ! $
15 THERE CAN BE NO DOUBT ABOUT IT I SUPPOSE ? $
14 WE HAVE GONE INTO THE MATTER WITH GREAT CARE . $
IT HAS BEEN THE UNPLEASANT JOB OF SOME MINOR OFFICIALS AND A
 FEW MEMBERS OF THE PLAIN-CLOTHES POLICE-FORCE TO ENTER THES
E HOMOSEXUAL PUBS AND CAFES AND TO BECOME OVER THE MONTHS AL
MOST HABITUES OF THESE OFTEN SORDID RESORTS . $
15 BUT THE MEN WHO APPEAR TO BE PUTTING ON WEIGHT , WOULD TH
EY BE AWARE THAT IT ISN'T WEIGHT ? $
14 AT THIS STAGE I HOPE MOST UNLIKELY . $
15 AND YOU CONSIDER THERE MAY BE NEARLY FIVE HUNDRED OF THES
E CASES ... ? $
14 ALARMING , MISS FOTHERINGILL . $
IN MY JOB WE HAVE TO DEAL WITH MANY UNPLEASANT SITUATIONS .
$
BUT I MUST SAY THAT THIS SICKENS ME . $
WHAT 'S WRONG WITH THESE DAMNED MARVELLOUS GIRLS THAT ENGLAN
D PRODUCES , THE FINEST LOVELIEST CREATURES IN THE WORLD ? $
WHAT 'S HAPPENING TO THE MALE RACE THAT IT TURNS AWAY IN REV
ULSION AND NOW SEEMS TO POSSESS THE ABILITY TO CREATE ITSELF
 IN ITS OWN NAUSEOUS IMAGE ? $
MISS FOTHERINGILL , I CAN TELL YOU THAT I AM DEEPLY WORRIED
. $
SIR CHARLES IS WORRIED . $
THE MINISTER HAS GONE TO NUMBER TEN THIS MORNING . $
WE ARE ALL GRAVELY DISTURBED . $
AND YOU , MISS FOTHERINGILL , HAVE SINGULARLY FAILED TO DO W
HAT I BEGGED AND PLEADED FOR YOU TO DO . $
15 OH , SIR , I 'M DEEPLY SORRY . $
I KEPT ON THINKING THAT I HAD MORE TIME . $
14 THE TIME , MISS FOTHERINGILL , HAS RUN OUT . $
I AM TAKING YOU OFF THIS ASSIGNMENT . $
15 SIR , I BEG YOU , I 'VE SACRIFICED MORE TIME THAN YOU KNO
W TO ALL THIS . $
I FEEL I KNOW THEM ALL AS I KNOW MYSELF . $
AND MR. ROGERS HAS EXPRESSED A WISH TO SEE YOU ... $
14 TOO DANGEROUS , MISS FOTHERINGILL . $
15 TO TALK TO YOU , HE WANTS TO UNDERSTAND ... $
14 IT IS NOT THE POLICY OF THE MINISTRY . $
15 AND HE SAID HE WAS CONSIDERING AGREEING TO THE TESTS , TH
AT IS IF HE COULD SEE YOU . $
14 I COULD GIVE HIM HALF AN HOUR AT FOUR , AND I SHALL ASK D
OCTOR GRAPIELKOFF TO BE HERE SO AS TO ENSURE AGAINST ANY UNP
LEASANT INCIDENT . $
THAT WILL BE ALL , MISS FOTHERINGILL . $
15 YES , SIR . $
I 'LL TELL HIM , SIR . $
WHAT IS TO BE DONE ABOUT THE OTHER FIVE HUNDRED MALES , SIR
? $
I FEEL NOW THAT PERHAPS I AM IN MORE OF A POSITION TO HELP .
 $
14 IT HASN'T BEEN DECIDED , MISS FOTHERINGILL . $
HAVE YOU GOT THE DOCTOR YET ? $
GOOD . $
I 'LL TALK TO HIM NOW . $
DOCTOR , YOU RECEIVED THE REPORT . $
YES , I FIND IT VERY DISTURBING . $
WHAT YOU SUGGEST IS COMPLETELY OUT OF THE QUESTION . $
ON WHAT POSSIBLE EXCUSE COULD WE UPROOT FIVE HUNDRED MISCELL
ANEOUS MALES AND PUT THEM IN YOUR ENCLOSED COLONY IN SHREWSB
URY ? $
AH , I SEE . $
BUT SURELY THAT MEANS TAKING EACH OF THE GP'S INTO OUR CONFI
DENCE . $
QUITE SO . $
I DON'T SEE WHY NOT . $
TELL THEM THEY HAVE A RARE DISEASE , KEEP THEM ISOLATED IN H
OSPITAL NOW , DO THE OPERATION A MONTH LATER AND WITHOUT THE
M BEING AWARE OF IT SEND ALL THE OFFSPRING TO YOUR COLONY IN
 SHREWSBURY . $
EXCELLENT . $
ALL WE HAVE TO CONSIDER , DOCTOR , IS THAT WE CATCH EVERY CA
SE . $
IF ONE SLIPS THROUGH OUR NET , WE ARE DONE . $
01 AND WHERE DOES ANDREW GO AT NIGHT ? $
02 WELL , TOM , AS YOU BROUGHT THAT UP , I DON'T KNOW WHETHE
R IT 'S WORTH TELLING YOU THIS OR NOT . $
01 WHAT DO YOU MEAN ? $
DO YOU KNOW SOMETHING ? $
WELL COME ON , OUT WITH IT . $
HE HASN'T GOT TO THE STAGE YET SURELY OF SMOKING POT IN LATE
-NIGHT COFFEE-BARS ? $
02 HE WOULDN'T DO A DAMN SILLY THING LIKE THAT . $
YOU 'VE NO IDEA HOW SENSIBLE , HOW REMARKABLE HE REALLY IS .
 $
01 OH COME OFF IT , JUST TELL ME . $
I 'M AS WORRIED AS YOU ARE . $
02 WELL I 'VE KEPT ON ASKING HIM , BUT I DIDN'T NAG HIM , OH
 NO I DIDN'T NAG HIM . $
I 'D JUST SAY , CASUALLY LIKE , OVER HIS EARLY MORNING PORRI
DGE AND TREACLE : ' WELL , ANDREW ? $
DID YOU ENJOY WHERE YOU WENT LAST NIGHT ? ' $
01 YES , YES WHAT DID HE SAY ? $
02 WELL , HE 'D BE VERY DISTANT AND NON-COMMITTAL . $
SOMETIMES WOULDN'T ANSWER FOR A WHILE , JUST PLAYING WITH TH
E TREACLE POOLS IN THE PORRIDGE , SPOONING IT IN ... $
01 OH COME ON , GET TO THE POINT . $
02 YOU SEE , YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND HIM AT ALL . $
I TRY AND TELL IT TO YOU EXACTLY AS IT HAPPENED , BECAUSE TH
E SILENCES , THE SILENCES ARE VERY IMPORTANT , TOM , OR HOW
QUICKLY OR SLOWLY HE SPEAKS . $
THIS IS HOW WE 'RE COMMUNICATING , DON'T YOU REALISE THAT ?
$
WHERE DID I GET TO ? $
01 ANDREW IS PLAYING WITH A TREACLE POOL . $
02 AH , YES . $
SO AFTER A PAUSE OF A MINUTE OR TWO HE SAID : ' CONSIDERING
EVERYTHING , DADDY ONE , IT WAS QUITE FASCINATING . ' $
01 WHAT WAS FASCINATING ? $
02 THAT 'S EXACTLY WHAT I ASKED , BUT HE GAVE ME NO ANSWER ,
 NOT THAT TIME ANYWAY . $
THEN LATER THAT WEEK , HE STARTED TO TALK , WELL HE WAS PLAY
ING A GAME ACTUALLY , HE WAS BEING A POLICEMAN AND HE WAS DO
ING SOMETHING ODD WITH HIS HANDS ; AND I SAID : ' WHAT ARE Y
OU DOING , ANDREW ? ' $
AND HE ANSWERED : ' I 'M A POLICEMAN GUARDING THE PRIME MINI
STER , AND I 'M PLAYING POKER IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT TO
KEEP MYSELF AWAKE . ' $
01 WHAT DOES HE KNOW ABOUT POLICEMEN PLAYING POKER ? $
OH MY GOD , THAT CHILD OUGHT TO BE SENT OFF TO A BOARDING SC
HOOL , OR LOCKED UP . $
HE 'S TOO MUCH FOR US TO HANDLE . $
02 JUST TRY BEING PATIENT . $
I DIDN'T ASK HIM THEN . $
I WENT AWAY AND I THOUGHT A BIT , THEN THE NEXT DAY I SAID :
 ' HOW MANY POLICEMEN GUARD THE PRIME MINISTER , ANDREW ? '
$
AND HE ANSWERED QUITE VAGUELY : ' IT 'S THE PHOTOELECTRIC BE
AMS YOU HAVE TO BE CAREFUL OF , BECAUSE THEY SET OFF THE ALA
RM . $
IT 'S VERY INGENIOUS REALLY . $
THE FIRST TIME THERE WAS AN AWFUL RUMPUS , BUT BECAUSE I 'M
SMALL I HIDE EASILY . ' $
01 I DON'T BELIEVE IT , I JUST DON'T BELIEVE IT . $
HE 'S MAKING IT UP . $
ALL CHILDREN HAVE FANTASIES . $
02 WELL THAT 'S WHAT I THINK REALLY , THAT 'S WHY I DIDN'T T
ELL YOU BEFORE , TOM . $
01 BUT DID HE TELL YOU WHERE HE WAS ? $
I MEAN DID HE END THIS ABSURD FANTASY ? $
02 HE SAID SOMETHING TO ME THE NEXT WEEK , BUT OF COURSE , Y
OU DON'T HAVE TO BELIEVE IT . $
HE SAID HE WAS EXPERIMENTING WITH AUTO-SUGGESTION WHEN THE P
RIME MINISTER WAS ASLEEP . $
HE CRAWLED UNDER THE BED AND WHISPERED ALL NIGHT LONG : ' WI
THDRAW ALL ARMED FORCES ABROAD . ' $
#40 $
I TOLD YOU HE 'S ALWAYS BEEN WORRIED ABOUT WAR . $
01 YES . $
ANYTHING ELSE ? $
02 I DON'T KNOW , TOM , BUT I THINK HE 'S GOT PLANS TO GET I
NTO BUCKINGHAM PALACE . $
HE SEEMS EXTREMELY WORRIED ABOUT THE ROLE OF THE MONARCHY .
$
01 IT 'S JUST GAMES , IT 'S JUST CHILDISH GAMES . $
HE 'S HAVING YOU ON , ISN'T HE ? $
HE MUST BE . $
' DADDY ONE BELIEVES ANYTHING ' , I BET HE 'S CHUCKLING . $
02 MAYBE , TOM . $
BUT HE DOES DISAPPEAR ON THESE NIGHTS . $
I MEAN IF YOU 'RE NOT GOING TO BELIEVE WHAT HE SAYS , WHERE
DOES HE GO ? $
15 NOW DON'T BE NERVOUS , SPEAK YOUR MIND . $
HE 'S A VERY SENSITIVE GENTLEMAN AND WILL DO HIS UTMOST TO U
NDERSTAND YOUR POINT OF VIEW . $
14 GOOD AFTERNOON , MR. ROGERS . $
YOU DO REALISE THAT THIS MEETING IS 'OFF THE CUFF ' SO TO SP
EAK , BUT IN SUCH A CASE SO UNPRECEDENTED , WELL , WE HAVE T
O , WELL , MAKE ALLOWANCES . $
DO SIT DOWN . $
I HAD HOPED THAT OUR LEADING SEXOLOGIST , DR. GRAPIELKOFF ,
WOULD HAVE BEEN HERE . $
HE IS VERY ANXIOUS TO MEET YOU . $
HOWEVER AT THE MOMENT HE SEEMS TO BE TOURING THE PROVINCES .
 $
02 I WISH TO KNOW EXACTLY WHAT SORT OF TESTS YOU ARE PROPOSI
NG TO MAKE . $
14 THEY WOULD BE ABSOLUTELY COMPREHENSIVE . $
02 OVER A LONG PERIOD ? $
14 WEEKS , MONTHS , YEARS . $
02 YEARS ? $
DO YOU REALLY THINK THAT I 'M GOING TO SACRIFICE MY CHILD TO
 SCIENCE IN THIS WAY ? $
14 SCIENCE IS BIGGER THAN BOTH OF US , MR. ROGERS . $
02 IT 'S NO LARGER THAN THE LIFE OF MY SON . $
14 I 'M SURE WE COULD COME TO SOME KIND OF COMPROMISE . $
02 WHAT ABOUT DADDY TWO ? $
IS HE GOING TO BE IN ON THIS ... ? $
14 THAT IS RATHER AWKWARD . $
OF COURSE THERE ARE A NUMBER OF TESTS WE 'D LIKE TO MAKE WIT
H MR. DART . $
HE POSSIBLY HAS A HIGH FERTILITY RATIO ! $
02 WHAT ARE YOU FRIGHTENED OF ? $
14 DISORDER . $
CONFUSION . $
UNREST . $
THE LAW EXISTS , YOUNG MAN , TO CLARIFY THE SOCIAL PATTERN .
 $
WHAT YOU HAVE DONE SO THOUGHTLESSLY AND CARELESSLY IS TO DIS
RUPT ONE OF THE BASIC CONCEPTS THAT OUR SOCIETY IS BUILT UPO
N . $
WE HAVE BEEN PATIENT ENOUGH , YOUNG MAN , AND I HOPE YOU REA
LISE THAT THERE ARE STRONGER MEASURES I COULD EMPLOY . $
02 WHAT 'S ALL THE GREAT RUSH ? $
14 IT WOULD NOT BE UNREASONABLE IF WE PASSED A BILL THROUGH
THE HOUSE TO MAKE IT ILLEGAL FOR HOMOSEXUALS TO GIVE BIRTH ,
 IN FACT IT MAY HAVE TO COME TO THAT . $
WE ARE IN SOME URGENCY AND VERY ANXIOUS THAT THESE TESTS SHO
ULD START IN A FEW DAYS . $
WE NEED FACTS TO WORK UPON . $
PLEASE THINK IT OVER , MR. ROGERS . $
02 HE 'S IN A FLAP ISN'T HE , WHAT 'S THE MATTER ? $
15 WE ARE ALL DEEPLY ANXIOUS , GARY , THAT YOUR PROBLEM DOES
N'T GET OUT OF HAND . $
02 HOW CAN IT ? $
15 I CAN'T SAY MORE . $
02 WHAT DO YOU MEAN , YOU CAN'T SAY MORE ? $
WHAT 'S GOING ON THAT I DON'T KNOW ABOUT ? $
15 COME , COME , THERE 'S A GREAT DEAL OF ARRANGEMENTS TO BE
 MADE AND WE MUST ALL HELP ONE ANOTHER . $
02 YOU DON'T MEAN ... $
OH MY GOD , THAT 'S MARVELLOUS . $
THERE ARE OTHERS LIKE ME ? $
WHERE ARE THEY ? $
LEAD ME TO THEM . $
15 OH DEAR , WHAT HAVE I SAID ? $
02 BUT THIS HAS CHANGED EVERYTHING , EVERYTHING ... I KNEW I
 COULDN'T JUST BE THE ONLY ONE . $
01 I 'M WORRIED , WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO ? $
02 DON'T YOU REALISE THE SIGNIFICANCE OF THIS ? $
01 THE POOR BUGGERS . $
IF ONLY THEY KNEW WHAT WAS IN STORE FOR THEM . $
02 BUT DON'T YOU SEE ? $
BEFORE WE WERE ALONE , UTTERLY ALONE , A FREAKISH DEVELOPMEN
T . $
NOW WE ARE STRONGER . $
I HAVE TO GET IN TOUCH WITH THEM AT ONCE . $
01 LOOK , COULD YOU STOP THINKING ABOUT THEM AND TRY THINKIN
G ABOUT US . $
WHAT AM I TO DO WITH MY MOTHER AND HER BLOODY PLAN ? $
02 YOUR MOTHER IS QUITE IRREVERANT ... $
01 IRRELEVANT ! $
CAN'T YOU SPEAK THE QUEEN'S ENGLISH - AND DON'T THROW PEEL .
 $
02 I SHALL GO AND SEE HER AND TELL HER THE TRUTH . $
I SHALL POINT OUT TO HER THAT IT 'S VERY IMPORTANT THAT THE
THREE OF US STAY TOGETHER . $
01 BUT YOU SAID THAT YOU 'D AGREED TO LIVE IN THE LABORATORY
 . $
02 NO , NO , NOT NOW . $
THIS HAS CHANGED EVERYTHING . $
I HAVEN'T GOT TIME TO HELP THEM . $
WE 'VE GOT TO USE ALL OUR ENERGIES TO HELP OURSELVES AND THE
 OTHERS . $
01 OH MY GOD , JUST TELL ME WHAT 'S GOING TO HAPPEN WILL YOU
 ?  $
HOW CAN YOU GO TO MY MOTHER AND TELL HER ... ? $
SHE 'LL HAVE A HEART ATTACK . $
SHE WON'T BELIEVE YOU ... $
ANYWAY HOW CAN YOU SAY SHE 'S IRRELEVANT ? $
YOU 'RE A MOTHER , MOTHERS ARE IMPORTANT . $
I CAN'T JUST BRUSH HER ASIDE . $
HOW WOULD YOU FEEL WHEN ANDREW 'S GROWN UP AND HE NEGLECTS Y
OU , YOU 'D FEEL HURT , WOULDN'T YOU ? $
02 MY CHILD WILL BE UTTERLY FREE TO DO EXACTLY WHAT HE CHOOS
ES . $
I REFUSE TO BE A POSSESSIVE MOTHER . $
AFTER ALL , WE ALL KNOW WHAT THAT TURNS YOUR SON INTO . $
ANDREW 'S GOING TO GET MARRIED TO A NICE GIRL AND HAVE A LAR
GE FAMILY . $
01 HA , HA . $
FAT CHANCE OF THAT HE 'S GOT . $
HE 'LL PROBABLY TURN OUT TO BE A LESBIAN . $
02 DON'T BE SO STUPID , HOW COULD HE BE ? $
01 I DUNNO , JUST ANYTHING 'S POSSIBLE IN THIS CRAZY WORLD .
 $
ANYWAY I DON'T LIKE IT . $
02 LIKE WHAT ? $
01 WHAT 'S HAPPENING , IT 'S CREEPY , IT 'S UNNERVING . $
I MEAN I BET THEY 'RE WORRIED . $
DO YOU THINK IT 'S HAPPENING ALL OVER THE WORLD ? $
MAYBE IT 'S THE SIDE-EFFECTS OF RADIATION . $
YOU KNOW , GENETIC MUTATION . $
COULD BE . $
ALL I 'D LIKE TO KNOW IS WHERE DO WE GO FROM HERE ? $
AND WHAT ANDREW REALLY DOES IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT . $
YOU KNOW I DON'T WANT TO BE BOSSY , GARY , BUT SOMETHING TEL
LS ME THAT WE DON'T HAVE ENOUGH CONTROL OVER OUR OFFSPRING .
 $
02 CONTROL . $
HOW TYPICAL OF YOU . $
TOM THE CAUTIOUS CITY GENT , SO AFRAID OF BEING QUEER FOR YE
ARS AND YEARS YOU ALWAYS HAD TO TAKE A GIRL FRIEND OUT TO TH
E CINEMA ONCE A WEEK TO SHOW THE WORLD THAT YOU WEREN'T REAL
LY . $
01 WHAT ARE YOU BRINGING THAT UP FOR ? $
YOU KNOW I ADJUSTED . $
YOU TAUGHT ME TO ADJUST . $
I MEAN I HAVEN'T TAKEN A GIRL OUT FOR YEARS . $
SOMETIMES I THINK IT MIGHT BE RATHER NICE JUST TO GET A BIT
OF PEACE . $
02 HOW CAN WE GET IN TOUCH WITH THEM ? $
THAT 'S THE FIRST THING . $
01 PUT AN AD IN THE PAPERS . $
02 BUT OF COURSE . $
HOW SHALL WE WORD IT ? $
01 JUST TELL ME . $
WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO WHEN YOU HAVE GOT IN TOUCH WITH THE
M ? $
I MEAN , HAVE YOU THOUGHT OF THAT ? $
02 ONLY VAGUELY . $
I MEAN I HAVEN'T HAD MUCH TIME TO THINK , BUT THE IMPORTANT
THING IS THAT WE MUST FORM OURSELVES INTO A GROUP THAT IS CO
NSCIOUS OF ITS OWN RIGHTS AND WILL NOT BE BRAINWASHED BY THE
 HOME OFFICE INTO THINKING WE HAVEN'T GOT ANY . $
LAWS WILL OBVIOUSLY HAVE TO BE CHANGED AND SOCIETY WILL HAVE
 TO ADJUST TO IT ALL . $
THERE 'S BOUND TO BE JEALOUSY FROM HETEROSEXUAL MOTHERS . $
I 'LL TELL YOU THIS , TOM . $
I 'VE EVEN NOTICED IT IN SINGLE WOMEN LIKE SALLY AND MISS FO
THERINGILL . $
OH YES I HAVE . $
THEY CAN BE VERY NASTY SOMETIMES . $
AT FIRST WE 'RE BOUND TO BE A DEPRIVED MINORITY . $
THE GOVERNMENT WILL BE TRYING TO HUSH THE WHOLE THING UP . $
WELL I 'M NOT GOING TO LET IT ... $
01 I THINK YOU 'RE MAD . $
HAVEN'T WE GOT ENOUGH PROBLEMS ? $
WE HARDLY KNOW WHERE WE 'RE GOING TO LIVE FROM ONE MONTH TO
THE NEXT , OR HOW ; AND YOU 'RE THINKING UP DOTTY SCHEMES ..
. $
LOOK , GARY , WHAT AM I TO DO ABOUT MOTHER ? $
02 I 'LL GO AND SEE HER TOMORROW , DON'T YOU WORRY ABOUT THA
T . $
#41 $
09 I NEVER DID LIKE YOU . $
NO , I ALWAYS THOUGHT YOUR INFLUENCE WAS A BAD ONE ... $
TOM CHANGED IMMEDIATELY HE STARTED SHARING THAT FLAT WITH YO
U ... $
02 LIVING WITH ME , MRS. DART . $
09 DON'T YOU GO ON WITH THOSE NASTY INNUENDOS , I KNOW WHERE
 I AM NOW . $
YOU 'VE GONE RIGHT ROUND THE BEND . $
WELL JUST YOU GET OUT OF MY FLAT . $
YOU LOATHSOME LITTLE PEST . $
02 PLEASE TRY AND UNDERSTAND . $
I KNOW IT 'S DIFFICULT FOR YOU , BUT CAN'T YOU SEE THAT WHAT
 TOM AND I HAVE IS JUST AS VALID AND GOOD AS IF HE 'D MARRIE
D A GIRL WHO HE LOVED ... $
09 THERE YOU GO AGAIN . $
I WON'T HEAR THE HORRIBLE WORDS , I WON'T HEAR 'EM . $
02 WHAT DIFFERENCE IS THERE ? $
AND IF YOUR SON HAS GOT SOME KIND OF HAPPINESS OUT OF IT , A
ND THIS EXTRAORDINARY MIRACLE - A CHILD - THERE IS NOT ONE S
HRED OF DIFFERENCE FROM YOUR OWN MARRIAGE , YOUR OWN LOVE-LI
FE . $
09 I WILL NOT HAVE JACK'S MEMORY ABUSED . $
PEOPLE LIKE YOU OUGHT TO BE PUT IN PRISON . $
GET OUT OF MY LOVELY NEW FLAT . $
GET OUT , YOU 'RE SPOILING ALL ITS NEWNESS ... $
02 PLEASE , MRS. DART . $
LOVE AND CHILDREN ARE NOT SO COMMON THAT WE CAN AFFORD TO RE
JECT THEM . $
09 WHAT DO YOU MEAN ? $
02 I MEAN TOM AND ME AND ANDREW . $
WE CAN BE YOUR FAMILY . $
WE CAN LOOK AFTER YOU . $
09 I WOULDN'T HAVE YOU CLEANING MY OWN FRONT DOORSTEP . $
NOW I 'M GOING TO CALL THE POLICE UNLESS YOU GO . $
02 OH HOW CAN YOU BE SO STUPID ? $
09 STUPID YOU SAY ? $
YOU TELL ME A TISSUE OF FILTHY HORRIBLE NASTY LIES , AND BEC
AUSE I REFUSE TO BELIEVE THEM , I 'M STUPID AM I ? $
I 'LL TELL YOU SOMETHING . $
IF THE ARCHBISHOP OF CANTERBURY MARRIED YOU OFF TO MY SON IN
 WESTMINSTER ABBEY AND SAID THAT YOU WERE THE MOTHER OF MY G
RANDCHILD , I 'D SLAP HIS FACE . $
YES I WOULD , I 'D BLOOMIN' SLAP HIS FACE . $
18 HI THERE . $
THE DOOR WAS OPEN . $
I GUESS YOU MUST BE MR. ROGERS ? $
01 NO , WHO ARE YOU ? $
18 PAT ALLEN FROM THE SUNDAY EXCESS . $
MY PAPER IS WILLING TO PAY A LOT OF MONEY FOR MR. ROGERS' CO
NFESSIONS . $
01 I 'M NOT GONNA ANSWER ANY OLD QUESTIONS . $
18 YOU DON'T HAVE TO . $
I KNOW THE ANSWERS . $
THAT CHILD ISN'T HUMAN . $
YOU KNOW THE BIGGEST RUMOUR ? $
THAT HE COMES FROM OUTER SPACE . $
WELL I FOR ONE , I 'M NOT PREPARED TO IGNORE THAT RUMOUR . $
I 'VE GOT FIFTY MILLION READERS TO CONSIDER , AND THEY DON'T
 WANT TO IGNORE THAT RUMOUR , IN FACT THEY LIKE THAT RUMOUR
. $
OUTER SPACE , MR. DART , IS IN . $
02 IT WON'T DO , IT 'S THE FOURTH DAY THE AD 'S BEEN IN THE
PAPER AND NOT ONE ANSWER . $
WHO ARE YOU . $
18 I 'M PAT ALLEN FROM THE SUNDAY EXCESS . $
01 DON'T LISTEN TO HER , GARY , SHE 'S GOING TO TAKE THE LAS
T VESTIGE OF PRIVACY AWAY FROM US . $
AND IN THE MOOD YOU 'VE BEEN IN LATELY YOU 'RE JUST ABOUT RI
PE FOR BARING YOUR WOMB TO THE NATION . $
18 I 'M WILLING TO PAY THIRTY-FIVE THOUSAND WITH PHOTOGRAPHS
 FOR YOUR STORY , MR. ROGERS , AND THE STORY OF YOUR REMARKA
BLE CHILD . $
02 SPLENDID . $
TAKE ME TO YOUR EDITOR . $
WILL HE PRINT IT EVEN IF THERE 'S A GOVERNMENT BAN ? $
18 WHAT DO YOU MEAN ? $
01 GARY , DO THINK WHAT YOU 'RE DOING . $
02 I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT I 'M DOING . $
18 NOW DON'T YOU BADGER HIM , HE KNOWS WHAT HE 'S DOING . $
HE 'S A KID WITH SENSE . $
JUST TELL ME , MR. ROGERS , WHERE DID YOU FIRST FIND IT ? $
02 IT ? $
01 SHE THINKS ANDREW 'S COME FROM OUTER SPACE . $
02 WELL . $
MAYBE HE HAS , WHO CARES . $
HE 'S THE NICEST THING THAT 'S EVER HAPPENED TO US . $
NOW LOOK AT THAT ADVERT . $
18 WHERE ? $
02 THERE . $
18 HOMOSEXUAL MOTHERS OF THE BRITISH ISLES UNITE . $
HELL , WHOEVER STUCK THAT IN MUST BE A LOONEY . $
02 I HAVEN'T HAD ONE ANSWER , NOT ONE ANSWER . $
WHY IS THAT ? $
18 YOU PUT THAT IN ? $
OH NO . $
02 I WANT YOU TO PUBLISH A PICTURE OF A HAPPY DOMESTICATED F
AMILY OF THREE , AS NORMAL AS YOU 'D FIND ANYWHERE . $
I WANT YOUR PAPER TO SHOW OTHER FAMILIES HOW SECURE AND CONT
ENTED THE THREE OF US ARE . $
YOU 'D DO THAT , WOULDN'T YOU ? $
18 I 'LL SPEAK TO MY EDITOR . $
HELL JESUS , I 'VE MET QUEERS IN MY LIFE , BUT YOU 'RE JUST
PLAIN PERVERTED . $
02 I 'M NOT COMMUNICATING ANY LONGER , THAT 'S WHAT IT IS .
$
IF I TAKE ANDREW TO THE LABORATORY THEY 'D HAVE A TELEPHONE
THERE , WOULDN'T THEY ? $
I COULD ALWAYS RING THROUGH TO THE PRESS AND GET INFORMATION
 TO THEM THAT WAY . $
01 WHAT ARE YOU GOING ON ABOUT ? $
LAST THING I KNEW YOU WEREN'T GOING TO GO THERE . $
WHAT 'S HAPPENING ? $
02 NO . $
DON'T YOU SEE , I MUST GET IN ON THE INSIDE . $
I 'LL BE NICE TO THEM , I 'LL DO ANYTHING THEY ASK . $
THEY 'RE SURE TO SEND THE OTHERS THERE , AND IN THAT WAY I S
HALL BE ABLE TO START THE COMMUNITY . $
WE 'LL ALL BE TOGETHER . $
01 I CAN'T THINK STRAIGHT ANY MORE . $
I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY . $
02 GO ON , GO AND LIVE WITH MOTHER . $
AND DON'T WORRY . $
01 LOOK HERE , GARY , STOP RUSHING ABOUT , STOP TALKING . $
JUST CALM DOWN , JUST TRY AND BE YOURSELF ... $
02 WHAT D' YOU MEAN , MYSELF ? $
OF COURSE I 'M BEING MYSELF . $
YOU DON'T REALISE THERE 'S SO MUCH TO DO ... $
01 FOR GOD'S SAKE LET ME SPEAK . $
JUST GIVE ME A MOMENT OR TWO . $
I MEAN , THERE YOU WERE A FEW MINUTES AGO SAYING YOU WEREN'T
 COMMUNICATING . $
I MEAN SIMPLY THAT YOU 'VE BEGUN TO THINK IN IDEAS AND NOT I
N PEOPLE . $
YOU JUST RUSH ROUND PREACHING ALL THE TIME , CLUTCHING ANDRE
W TO YOUR SOUL LIKE SOME INTELLECTUAL FEMINIST WITH TEN THOU
SAND CHIPS ON HER SHOULDER . $
02 I 'VE NEVER HEARD SUCH BALLSY NONSENSE IN ALL MY BORN DAY
S . $
WHAT I 'M DOING IS FOR YOU . $
01 NO IT 'S NOT . $
02 YES IT IS . $
IT 'S ALL FOR YOU ... $
01 AND ANDREW . $
02 WHAT LIFE HAVE I HAD SINCE ANDREW BEGAN , OUTSIDE THESE C
RUMMY FOUR WALLS ? $
I NEVER SEE ANY FRIENDS , I HAVEN'T BEEN TO THE CINEMA FOR T
WO BLOODY YEARS . $
MY WHOLE LIFE ... $
01 THAT 'S THE WAY YOU WANTED IT . $
FOR GOD'S SAKE , YOU 'VE BEEN TALKING ABOUT THE PROFOUND HAP
PINESS THAT 'S FILLED YOUR BEING ... $
02 ONE'S INTELLECT NEEDS TO BE STIMULATED . $
MINE 'S BEEN STARVED , NARROWED . $
HELL , YOU 'VE NO IDEA , WASHING SHITTY NAPPIES ALL DAY . $
01 ANDREW 'S A VERY CLEAN CHILD NOW . $
02 I 'M NOT TALKING ABOUT NOW . $
I 'M TALKING ABOUT THEN . $
BENT OVER THE BLOODY SINK , CAUSE YOU CAN'T AFFORD A WASHING
-MACHINE , SCRUBBING , AND THE BLEEDIN' ROOM DAMP AND SMELLY
 WITH CLOTHES . $
IT 'S DISGUSTING . $
IT COULD TURN YOU INTO A FLABBY PIECE OF VEGETABLE MATTER .
$
WELL I REFUSE TO BE LIKE THAT , AND WHAT IS IT , TOM , WHAT
IS IT THAT HAS DRAGGED ME OUT OF IT ? $
IDEAS , IDEAS . $
01 I KNEW WE COULDN'T TALK , I KNEW WE COULDN'T . $
JUST SIT DOWN , THAT 'S ALL I ASK . $
JUST CALM DOWN AND DON'T TALK BACK . $
THERE 'S SOMETHING VERY IMPORTANT THAT I WANT TO SAY TO YOU
. $
02 CAN'T IT WAIT ? $
I 'M BUSY , I 'M TIRED . $
01 NO IT CAN'T WAIT . $
LOOK , I 'VE BEEN THINKING . $
IF WE STAY HERE , IN ENGLAND , I CAN'T SEE HOW WE CAN GET OU
T OF THE TRAP . $
02 WHAT TRAP ? $
01 THERE 'S ALWAYS A TRAP . $
02 YES , BUT WHAT PARTICULAR TRAP ? $
01 WHY ARE YOU SO DIFFICULT ? $
OKAY THEN , I CAN THINK OF SEVERAL TRAPS . $
YOU BEING COMMITTED TO THIS ... TO THIS MAD SCHEME OF HOMOSE
XUAL MOTHERS . $
ALL THAT BLOODY NONSENSE . $
I DON'T CARE WHETHER THEY EXIST OR NOT . $
YES , FINALLY , I DON'T CARE WHETHER THEY 'RE DYING IN VIETN
AM . $
I DIDN'T CRY WHEN PRESIDENT KENNEDY WAS ASSASSINATED . $
I DIDN'T CRY WHEN THE COALTIP COVERED ABERFAN . $
WHAT DOES THAT MAKE ME ? $
02 I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU 'RE TRYING TO SAY . $
01 I 'M TRYING TO POINT OUT THAT I 'M JUST LIKE THE REST OF
THE HUMAN RACE , A KIND OF AMORPHOUS GLOB THAT SEEMS IN THIS
 COUNTRY TO HAVE BEEN BATTERED BY SO MANY PLEAS FOR FEELING
THAT WE 'VE OPTED OUT ... $
#42 $
02 TOM , TRY AND SEE IT THIS WAY . $
ANDREW IS OUR OPPORTUNITY TO SAY AGAIN WHAT NEEDS SAYING . $
01 I THINK YOU 'RE MAD . $
02 I THINK WE 'RE NEEDED . $
01 I 'VE GOT AN AWFUL FEELING THAT 'S IT . $
IT 'S OVER . $
15 WELL , PERHAPS IN THE FIRST FEW DAYS YOU WILL FEEL RATHER
 LOST . $
BUT YOU SEE YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE TO REMEMBER THAT YOU 'RE IN
' G ' BLOCK , THIRD FLOOR , LEFT WING , ROOM 45 , BECAUSE IT
 'S ON YOUR LABEL THAT 'S PINNED ON YOUR LAPEL . $
NOW , GARY , CERTAIN AREAS ARE VERBOTEN . $
BUT THOSE ARE ALL CLEARLY MARKED , AND YOU MUST TRY NOT TO W
ORRY ABOUT ANYTHING , BECAUSE AFTER ALL , THERE 'S NOTHING R
EALLY TO WORRY ABOUT . $
02 I WISH YOU 'D MAKE AN ATTEMPT TO STOP IRRITATING ME . $
YOU KNOW YOUR WELFARE NURSE VOICE DRIVES ME UP THE WALL . $
15 OH DEAR . $
QUITE RIGHT , IT 'S SUCH AN EASY ONE TO FALL INTO . $
WHENEVER I FEEL THE SITUATION IS DIFFICULT AND FRAUGHT WITH
UNDERCURRENTS , GARY . $
02 YOU DO ? $
WHAT ARE THEY ? $
15 OH , EVERYONE 'S SO TENSE . $
I SAW THE FAMOUS , THE WORLD-FAMOUS , DOCTOR GRAPIELKOFF . $
HE IS SO EAGER TO START WORK ON YOU BOTH . $
HE 'S JUST BRIMMING OVER WITH EXCITEMENT AND CHARM . $
OH A MAN OF GREAT AUDACITY . $
YOU 'LL LOVE HIM , JUST LOVE HIM . $
02 I 'M WORRIED ABOUT ANDREW . $
15 WHAT ? $
02 HIS REACTION . $
DO YOU KNOW WHAT HE SAID TO ME JUST NOW ? $
DADDY ONE , ARE WE SAFE HERE ? $
WELL I ALLAYED HIS FEARS AS BEST I COULD , BUT I THINK HE SE
NSED THAT I 'M ON EDGE . $
SO I WANT TO MAKE IT QUITE CLEAR THAT I 'M TO BE WITH HIM MO
ST OF THE TIME . $
15 YES , YES , THAT 'S ALL BEEN AGREED UPON . $
WELL , GARY , THIS IS A DAY OF TRIUMPH IN MANY WAYS . $
I SHALL VISIT YOU REGULARLY AND IF YOU HAVE ANY COMPLAINTS D
ON'T HESITATE TO INFORM ME . $
17 AH-HAH . $
HOW ARE WE THIS MORNING ? $
THE LITTLE CHAP , HE GAVE ME A BIG SMILE , AND WAVED A GREET
ING . $
02 I REALLY DON'T SEE WHY OUR WEIGHT IS TAKEN FIVE TIMES A D
AY AS WELL AS OUR TEMPERATURE , PULSE AND BLOOD PRESSURE . $
I CAN STAND IT MYSELF BUT IT REALLY IS A TIRESOME BORE FOR A
NDREW . $
AND BY THE WAY , HE INTENSELY DISLIKES THAT SKULLCAP THING W
HICH RECORDS THE BRAINWAVES . $
MUST THAT BE USED SO OFTEN ? $
17 THE INFORMATION IT GIVES US IS OF THE UTMOST IMPORTANCE B
UT , DEAR CHILD , IT WILL SOON BE CHRISTMAS , WE MUST GIF A
BIG PARTY AND WE MUST HAVE A BIG TREE . $
NOW LET ME SEE . $
YES , I HAF IT . $
I WANT A DETAILED LIST OF YOUR DIET BEFORE THE ONSET OF PREG
NANCY . $
02 IMPOSSIBLE . $
I CAN'T REMEMBER THAT LONG AGO . $
DIET ? $
WHAT THE HELL HAS THAT TO DO WITH IT ANYWAY ? $
17 WE MUST LOOK INTO EVERYTHING . $
YOU MUST REMEMBER , MUST HAF SOME FAGUE RECOLLECTION OF WHAT
 YOU USUALLY EAT . $
MOST PEOPLE GET INTO A PATTERN OF EATING . $
TWO , THREE LARGE MEALS A DAY OR FIFE OR SIX ZNACKS . $
MOST PEOPLE HAF THEIR PREFERENCES AND HATES . $
LET US LOOK INTO YOURS . $
NOW LUXURY FOODS ? $
CHAMPAGNE , OYSTERS , CAFIAR ? $
OR AN OFER INDULGENCE IN SOMETHING MORE PLEBEIAN . $
FISH ? $
CHIPS ? $
SPAM ? $
OR MAYBE A PREFERENCE FOR SOMETHING MORE EXOTICALLY BOURGEOI
S ? $
CHINESE OR INDIAN ... ? $
02 WHAT CRAP . $
17 CHOCOLATE DIGESTIF BISCUITS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT .
$
A LITTLE IDIOSYNCRATIC INDULGENCE OF THE PATIENT . $
ALCOHOL CAN , OFER A PERIOD OF YEARS , DESTROY POTENCY . $
THE CHILD HAS A FERY EXTRAORDINARY BRAIN-GRAPH . $
IT IS HIGHLY ACTIF ... $
02 I 'M NOT SURPRISED . $
17 I WOULD SAY THAT YOUR BLOOD-PRESSURE TOO IS RATHER ON THE
 HIGH SIDE FOR A YOUNG MAN . $
DISTRIBUTION OF BODY HAIR , NOT QUITE NORMAL . $
DID YOU FIND A SUDDEN ELONGATION OF LIMBS IN ADOLESCENCE ? $
AND WHICH TESTICLE DROPPED FIRST ? $
CAN YOU REMEMBER THE CIRCUMSTANCES OF YOUR FIRST NOCTURNAL E
MISSION ? $
WHY ARE YOU ATTRACTED TO WOMEN YET DO NOT COHABIT WITH THEM
? $
02 CHOICE . $
ARE YOU GOING TO GIVE ME TIME TO ANSWER ANY OF THESE QUESTIO
NS ? $
#43 $
17 TIME , TIME ? $
WE HAF PLENTY OF TIME . $
DO NOT COMPLICATE THE FLOW OF RESEARCH . $
IN SUCH A CASE AS YOURS , MY DEAR FRIEND , MY METHODS MAY SE
EM UNORTHODOX . $
CAN YOU REMEMBER YOUR SKIN-CONDITION AS A CHILD ? $
WERE YOU CONSCIOUS OF ANY BLEMISH IN THE EROTOGENIC AREAS ?
$
THERE IS A SLIGHT FLUSHING OF THE RIGHT NIPPLE WHEN A SUDDEN
 LIGHT IS THROWN UPON IT . $
I AM FERY DISTRESSED INDEED THAT BOTH YOUR PARENTS ARE DEAD
, FOR A DETAILED EXAMINATION OF THEM WOULD HAF BEEN MOST FAL
UABLE . $
ARE YOU ABSOLUTELY CERTAIN THAT YOU HAFN'T GOT ONE GRANDPARE
NT STILL ALIFE ? $
OF EITHER SEX ? $
YOU ARE CERTAIN WITHOUT ANY DEGREE OF DOUBT ? $
02 ABSOLUTELY . $
17 NOT ONE ? $
02 NOT ONE . $
17 TOO MUCH TO HOPE FOR I SUPPOSE . $
02 WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO HIM ? $
I WANT TO SEE HIM . $
I HAVE A RIGHT TO SEE HIM . $
PLEASE . $
15 GARY , YOU 'VE USED ANDREW LIKE SOME POOR NINETEENTH CENT
URY CHIMNEY SWEEP BREAKING INTO DR. GRAPIELKOFF'S OFFICE AND
 STEALING TOP-SECRET FILES . $
IT 'S SHEER VIOLATION A CRIMINAL ACT , AND WE 'RE ALL VERY D
ISTRESSED AND DEEPLY SHOCKED . $
AT THE MOMENT HE 'S HAVING A VERY DIFFICULT LABORATORY TEST
THAT NEEDS COMPLETE AND ABSOLUTE QUIET . $
HE SHOULD NOT BE PUNISHED FOR HIS PART IN THE AFFAIR AS IT W
AS QUITE OBVIOUS THAT HE WAS ONLY DOING WHAT YOU HAD INSTRUC
TED HIM TO DO . $
02 MISS FORTHERINGILL , IF I AM NOT ALLOWED TO SEE HIM WITHI
M THE NEXT FIVE MINUTES , I 'M GOING TO CAUSE AN ALMIGHTY EF
FING ROW . $
PERHAPS YOU 'VE FORGOTTEN THAT I SAW THAT LIST AND ANDREW AN
D I KNOW THERE ARE FIVE HUNDRED OTHER BABIES IN THIS PLACE .
 $
I 'LL LEAK THE INFORMATION OUT TO ALL THE PAPERS , I 'LL TEL
L THEM WHAT 'S GOING ON . $
17 POOR MISGUIDED MR. ROGERS , YOU 'VE ALWAYS BEEN IN A MINO
RITY , NOBODY WILL CARE VERY MUCH AND WHO DO YOU THINK WILL
BELIEVE YOU ? $
OUR POWERS ARE ENORMOUS YOU KNOW . $
WE ONLY HAVE TO IMPLY THAT YOU ARE INSANE AND THAT WILL BE T
HAT . $
02 YOU MUST UNDERSTAND . $
HIS LIFE IS DEPENDANT UPON MINE . $
WE ARE NOT TWO PEOPLE , WE ARE MIXED UP IN EACH OTHER . $
WE BELONG TOGETHER . $
TO CUT US OFF LIKE THIS IS MUCH , MUCH TOO DANGEROUS . $
15 GARY , GARY , PLEASE DON'T MAKE IT DIFFICULT FOR ME . $
01 HERE 'S ANOTHER ONE ; EXACTLY THE SAME STORY . $
TOLD BY HIS DOCTOR THAT HE WAS SUFFERING FROM A TROPICAL FOR
M OF GASTRO-PULMONIC-ENTERITIS ; RUSHED TO SHREWSBURY UNDER
HEAVY SEDATION WHERE HE WAS OPERATED ON . $
12 ANOTHER BOY ? $
01 OF COURSE . $
12 NAME AND ADDRESS ? $
01 THAT 'S HOW MANY UP TO NOW ? $
12 THREE HUNDRED AND NINETY-SEVEN . $
01 AND GARY THOUGHT BE WAS NEVER GOING TO GET AN ANSWER TO T
HAT ADVERTISEMENT . $
12 THE STANDARD REPLY ? $
01 FAT LOT OF GOOD IT DOES . $
THE GOVERNMENT SEEMS TO HAVE SUCCESFULLY GAGGED THE PRESS AN
D NONE OF THEIR M.P.S WILL SEE THEM . $
12 I 'M SURE DAVID FROST COULD DO SOMETHING IF ONLY YOU COUL
D GET IN TOUCH WITH HIM . $
01 I WILL , I WILL . $
I TELL YOU THIS SALLY , WHAT IS REASSURING IS THAT THESE PRE
GNANCIES ARE CLASSLESS . $
LOOK AT THESE ANSWERS FROM IRISH LABOURERS UP THROUGH BANK C
LERKS , AN ATTENDANT AT THE BRITISH MUSEUM , ONE OF THE BUTC
HERS FROM HARRODS , A GYNAECOLOGIST , AND THREE MEDICAL STUD
ENTS , TWO LAWYERS , A QUEEN'S COUNCIL AND A YOUNG PLASTIC T
YCOON . $
12 THANK GOD FOR HIM AND THE MONEY TO ORGANISE OURSELVES . $
01 GO AND SEE WHO THAT IS . $
15 AH SALLY , I 'M GLAD YOU 'RE HERE AS WELL . $
IT WILL MAKE IT EASIER . $
01 WHAT IS IT ? $
15 WELL DEAR , IT 'S JUST THAT I 'M AFRAID IT 'S QUITE IMPOS
SIBLE FOR YOU TO SEE GARY OR LITTLE ANDREW AT THE MOMENT . $
#44 $
01 BUT WE WANT TO TELL HIM ABOUT ... , LOOK MISS FORTHERINGI
LL , LOOK AT ALL THESE REPLIES WE 'VE HAD . $
15 REPLIES ? $
01 FROM THE OTHER HOMOSEXUAL MOTHERS . $
THEY WANT TO KNOW WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO THEIR BABIES . $
OUR NUMBERS ARE SWELLING YOU KNOW . $
15 SWELLING , OH , DEAR . $
THE CAT IS OUT OF THE BAG . $
01 YOU DON'T THINK THAT WE ARE GOING TO SIT HERE AND DO NOTH
ING . $
DO YOU KNOW WHAT IS HAPPENING ? $
15 WELL , I CAN'T AT THE MOMENT TELL YOU WHAT THE OFFICIAL L
INE IS . $
01 WHY CAN'T I SEE GARY ? $
15 THE TESTS WE ARE DOING NOW NEED ABSOLUTE PEACE AND QUIET
. $
01 WHAT 'S HAPPENING ? $
15 NOW CALM DOWN . $
SALLY UNDERSTANDS , DON'T YOU DEAR ? $
12 I DON'T THINK IT 'S VERY FAIR ON ALL THESE MOTHERS . $
THEY 'D LIKE TO HAVE THEIR BABIES BACK . $
01 AND WHAT ABOUT ALL THOSE BABIES TAKEN AWAY FROM THEIR PAR
ENTS AT BIRTH ? $
IT 'S LIKE A BLOODY FASCIST STATE . $
15 WELL I KNOW IT DOES SEEM HARSH , BUT LEGISLATION HAS TO M
OVE WITH CAUTION MY DEARS , SO DON'T AT PRESENT MAKE TROUBLE
 , PLEASE . $
01 DO YOU THINK THEY 'RE ALL RIGHT SALLY ? $
I 'M WORRIED . $
I 'M GOING TO TELEPHONE HIM . $
GET THE NUMBER FOR ME , WILL YOU ? $
IT 'S ONLY SINCE HE AND ANDREW WENT AWAY THAT I 'VE BEGUN TO
 REALISE WHAT THEY BOTH MEANT TO ME . . $
HOW MANY DAYS IS IT SINCE HE WROTE TO ME ? $
IT 'S ALMOST A WEEK . $
SALLY SOMETHING IS WRONG . $
12 IS THAT PONTESBURY 1822 ? $
I WANT TO SPEAK TO GARY ROGERS . $
IT 'S URGENT . $
01 I 'LL GET THE PLASTICS TYCOON TO ORGANISE A RAID OF THEY
DON'T LET ME TALK TO HIM . $
12 NOW CALM DOWN , TOM , JUST CALM DOWN . $
01 WHAT 'S HAPPENING ? $
12 SOMEONE HAS GONE TO SEE ... $
YES , I KNOW , WELL CAN WE TALK TO HIM WHEN THE TEST IS OVER
 ... SAY IN HALF AN HOUR ? $
01 LET ME HAVE IT . $
I WANT TO SPEAK TO MR. ROGERS NOW . $
WELL YOU CAN STOP THE TEST . $
AND WHAT 'S HAPPENED TO MY SON? $
HELLO , HELLO ... $
THE LINE 'S GONE DEAD . $
14 THIS PROVES MY POINT , MISS FOTHERINGILL , THE UTTER IRRE
SPONSIBILITY OF THESE HOMOSEXUAL MOTHERS . $
THE VULGARITY OF IT . $
THAT YOUNG FELLOW AT EPSOM THIS AFTERNOON TO THROW HIMSELF B
ENEATH THE FEET OF ONE OF THE QUEEN'S HORSES . $
15 SUCH A NICE CURATE TOO . $
I ONCE HEARD HIM PREACH AT ST. BARNABAS . $
14 THE NATIONAL PRESS COUNCIL ARE MOST ANXIOUS . $
FOR HOW LONG , MISS FOTHERINGILL , CAN WE SUPPRESS THE REAL
CAUSE OF THESE INCIDENTS ? $
AND THE SHOCKS - TO HAVE WOKEN UP THIS MORNING AND DISCOVERE
D THREE OF THEM CHAINED TO THE RAILINGS AT NUMBER TEN SINGIN
G THAT LAMENTABLE REFRAIN . $
I CAN ONLY HOPE THAT MRS. WILSON'S WINDOW WAS CLOSED . $
15 THEY ARE PICKETING LAMBETH PALACE AND I SEE THEIR WITTY P
OSTERS EVERYWHERE . $
14 I TELL YOU THIS MISS FOTHERINGILL , UNLESS THE POLICE SHO
W THEMSELVES MORE CAPABLE OF CONTROLLING THEM I HESITATE TO
THINK WHAT MIGHT HAPPEN NEXT WEEK WHEN THE QUEEN OPENS PARLI
AMENT . $
15 I THINK SHE WOULD BE INTERESTED , SIR , SHE 'S A MOTHER T
OO . $
14 THE ONLY FORTUNATE SIDE OF THE WHOLE SORRY AFFAIR IS THAT
 AS EACH OF THESE CREATURES MAKES A DISTURBANCE WE CAN AT LE
AST LOCK HIM UP FOR A PERIOD OF TIME . $
14 AH MY DEAR CHARLES , WE ARE EXHAUSTED BUT ... WELL I KNOW
 , THE P.M. HAS GONE SOFT , ENGLAND HAS SHOCKED THE WORLD ,
TO WITHDRAW ALL OUR ARMED FORCES ABROAD AT SUCH A MOMENT IS
TANTAMOUNT TO NATIONAL SUICIDE . $
WE DON'T EVEN HAVE A NAVAL BASE IN THE MEDITERRANEAN . $
HOW SHALL I EVER LOOK GUSSY PILKINGHORN IN THE FACE I DON'T
KNOW ... $
WHAT ? $
HOW MANY NEW CASES ? $
IT IS GETTING OUT OF CONTROL ... $
AH , THIS EVENING YOU SAY ? $
A BILL IS TO BE PASSED . $
CHARLES , I HOPE HE KNOWS WHAT HE 'S DOING . $
MISS FOTHERINGILL , A STATE OF NATIONAL EMERGENCY HAS BEEN D
ECLARED . $
#45 $
THE PRIME MINISTER HAS SUMMONED ME TO NUMBER TEN . $
01 GARY , LUV , ARE YOU ALL RIGHT ? $
THANK GOD I 'VE FOUND YOU . $
02 TOM , WHAT THE HELL IS IT ? $
WHAT 'S HAPPENING ? $
01 THANK GOD YOU 'RE STILL HERE , ARE YOU REALLY OKAY , THEY
 TOLD ME ... $
02 IT 'S ANDREW , THEY WON'T LET ME SEE HIM . $
01 IT 'S ALL RIGHT , CALM DOWN , EVERYTHING WILL BE OKAY . $
17 HOW DARE YOU . $
THIS IS GOVERNMENT PROPERTY . $
I SHALL HAVE YOU IMPRISONED . $
DON'T TAKE ALL MY LOVELY BABIES WAY FROM ME . $
02 THE MOTHERS ! $
YOU 'VE BROUGHT THEM HERE . $
BUT HOW DID THEY FIND OUT ? $
01 COME ON , I 'LL TELL YOU LATER . $
LET 'S GO AND FIND ANDREW . $
02 I NEVER WANT TO BE PARTED FROM HIM AGAIN . $
17 RUINED , RUINED , MY LIFE'S WORK HAS BEEN RUINED ... $
15 THE LABORATORIES ARE OVERRUN DOCTOR . $
17 THEY HAVE CUT THE TELEPHONE WIRES , ALL OUR EMERGENCY SER
VICES ARE OUT OF ACTION . $
15 OVERRUN , OVERRUN BY ... HAPPY HOMOSEXUALS , CLAIMING THE
 OFFSPRING . $
17 I WAS AWOKEN BY UNKNOWN NUMBERS OF THESE CREATURES WHO IN
FORMED ME THAT NOT ONLY WERE THEY MOTHERS BUT ALSO JOURNALIS
TS . $
15 PARENTS AND CHILDREN ARE SIMPLY RADIANT . $
17 OUR SECRET IS OUT MISS FOTHERINGILL , TOMORROW MORNING TH
E WHOLE WORLD WILL BE INFORMED OF WHAT HAS HAPPENED . $
15 OH WHAT A LOVELY MUDDLE . $
02 THERE , THERE MY DARLING , MY DARLING CHILD , EVERYTHING
WILL BE ALL RIGHT NOW . $
WE 'RE ALL TOGETHER AGAIN AND NO ONE WILL EVER PART US . $
DADDY TWO HAS SAVED US BOTH , GOOD , STRONG DADDY TWO . $
15 OH , DOCTOR , THE COLOUR HAS BEGUN TO COME BACK INTO HIS
LITTLE CHEEKS . $
17 THIS IS MONSTROUS , QUITE MONSTROUS , I SHALL HAVE THE LA
W ON ALL OF YOU . $
01 AND AS TO HAVING THE LAW ON US . $
YOU MIGHT LIKE TO KNOW THAT THE GOVERNMENT HAS PASSED A BILL
 THROUGH THE HOUSE TONIGHT LEGALISING THE POSITION OF HOMOSE
XUAL MOTHERS . $
02 AND THERE ISN'T A MOTHER IN THE BRITISH ISLES OF EITHER S
EX WHO WILL NOT BE A HUNDRED PER CENT BEHIND US OVER WHAT WE
 'VE DONE TONIGHT . $
17 OH , NO , NO , NO . $
15 DEAR , DEAR BOYS , CONGRATERS . $
THE POOR MAN IS QUITE DERANGED . $
01 DO YOU THINK ANDREW DID SOME MORE AUTO-SUGGESTION UNDER T
HE P.M.'S BED ? $
02 OBVIOUSLY . $
01 YOU SEE IT WAS ONLY AFTER YOU WENT THAT I REALISED EVERYT
HING YOU 'D BEEN TRYING TO SAY , I 'M SORRY LUV , I WAS JUST
 SLOW TO REALISE IT . $
FUNNY HOW PEOPLE'S ATTITUDES HAVE CHANGED . $
EVEN ETON AND HARROW ARE WILLING TO TAKE THEM NOW . $
BACK TO THE FOLD , SO TO SPEAK . $
09 WELL IF THE PAPERS SAY IT 'S ALL RIGHT , I SUPPOSE IT IS
, AS I MEAN YOU HAVE TO BELIEVE WHAT THE PAPERS SAY , DON'T
YOU ? $
AND IT 'S LOVELY TO SEE LITTLE ANDREW AGAIN . $
02 HE 'LL BE HIS OLD SELF AGAIN SOON , WON'T HE ? $
HE 'S SO PLEASED ABOUT ALL THE OTHERS . $
01 WELL , AT LEAST WE WON'T MAKE THE SAME MISTAKE WITH OUR S
ECOND ONE . $
09 YOU MUSTN'T CARRY THAT , IT 'S MUCH TOO HEAVY . $
JUST SIT DOWN AND REST . $
MIND YOU TAKE CARE OF TOM . $
AND THE POOR BOY HAVING TO GO ALL THROUGH THAT . $
GARY OUGHT TO BE MORE CAREFUL . $
< BLACKOUT > $