<< *220. ARNOLD WESKER : THE FRIENDS . PLAYS AND PLAYERS , O CTOBER 1970 , FIRST PERF. : 190570 . CHAR. : 01 ESTHER , 02 MANFRED , 03 CRISPIN , 04 TESSA , 05 SIMONE , 06 MACEY , 07 ROLAND . >> $ #67 $ < ACT ONE > $ < SCENE ONE > $ IN A LARGE BED , RICHLY COVERED AND COLOURED MAROON , LIES E STHER . $ THOUGH ILL AND TIRED FROM HER ILLNESS , YET SHE IS AT WORK S LOWLY CUTTING WITH A PAIR OF SCISSORS ROUND THE SHAPE OF AN ENLARGEMENT OF AN OLD SEPIA PHOTOGRAPH OF HER MOTHER - DATE ABOUT 1911 . $ THIS TO BE ADDED TO A MOSAIC OF OLD PHOTOGRAPHS - SOME ENLAR GED , SOME THEIR ORIGINAL SIZE - WHICH SHE IS BUILDING UP ON AN OLD SCREEN TO THE LEFT OF HER BED . $ EACH PHOTOGRAPH IS OF A MEMBER OF HER FAMILY : AUNTS , UNCLE S , COUSINS , GRANDPARENTS . $ IT IS AN AREA OF THE SET RICH IN BROWN , BLACK AND WHITE TON ES AND NOSTALGIA . $ HELPING HER IS HER LOVER ROLAND . $ MANFRED , HER BROTHER , SITS READING AND WRITING NOTES BY A LARGE OLD CARVED DESK . $ CRISPIN , A FRIEND AND PARTNER , SITS RESTLESSLY AT THE FOOT OF HER BED , CONSTRUCTING HIS OWN INVENTED TOY . $ HANGING BEHIND THE BED , JARRING YET TOUCHING , IS A PORTRAI T OF LENIN . $ NEAR THE DESK IS A RE-CREATION OF THE CRICK-WATSON MODEL OF THE STRUCTURE OF THE DNA MOLECULE OF HEREDITY , TWO-THIRDS D ONE . $ ALL THE ' FRIENDS ' ARE BETWEEN THE AGES OF 35 AND 38 . $ 01 ONLY CHILDREN'S FACES ARE REALLY BEAUTIFULL . $ LITTLE GIRLS WITH BOWS AND BRODERIE ANGLAISE ; SPONTANEOUS , CRUEL , FULL OF UNINHIBITED LOVE , LIKE TIGERS . $ THE REST IS STUPID AND VULGAR , BRUTAL AND POMPOUS . $ YOU 'RE NOT LISTENING , MANFRED . $ 02 I AM , KETZEL , I AM . $ JUST A FEW MORE LINES . $ 01 EXCEPT THE SOUND OF FRENCH , THAT 'S BEAUTIFUL ; AND RUSS IAN ICONS AND PRE-RAPHAELITES AND VENETIAN CHANDELIERS . $ 07 LAST NIGHT I SLEPT VERY SOUNDLY . $ LONG AND DEEP . $ 02 < ( READING ) > $ ' THE ELECTRON IS A COMPLETELY UNIVERSAL FUNDAMENTAL PARTICL E ... ' $ 07 I CAN'T REMEMBER THE LAST TIMES I SLEPT SO SOUNDLY . $ 02 ' ... IT IS STABLE AND LONG-LIVED . $ FOR ALL PRACTICAL PURPOSES IT IS INDESTRUCTIBLE AND IS AT PR ESENT IN THE UNIVERSE IN INEXHAUSTIBLE NUMBERS ... ' $ 01 AND BAROQUE CHURCHES AND HOUSES , FOUNTAINS AND MARKETPLA CES AND THE MUSIC OF ORGANS AND NORMAN ARCHES AND WINE AND T HE COOKING OF FRIENDS AND THE SOUND OF FRIENDS . $ 07 AND BECAUSE OF THAT LONG SLEEP EVERYTHING ABOUT ME IS SHA RP AND ALIVE . $ 02 ' ELECTRON DEVICES AND ELECTRONIC TECHNIQUES CAN THEREFOR E BE USED AS EFFECTIVELY IN ANY TERRESTRIAL ENVIRONMENT AS I N THE NEAR-VACUUM OF OUTER SPACE WITH UNRIVALLED SPEED OF RE SPONSE AND SENSITIVITY AND ... ' $ 01 STOP IT , MANFRED . $ 02 ' ... CAN CONVEY INFORMATION MORE EFFICIENTLY THAN ANY OT HER KIND ... ' $ 01 IT 'S LUNACY . $ 02 ' ... AND LEND THEMSELVES TO THE CONTROL AND REGULATION O F SMALL OR LARGE AMOUNTS OF POWER . ' $ 01 YOU SURROUND YOURSELF WITH BOOKS WHICH YOU START AND NEVE R FINISH . $ 07 I CAN'T EXPLAIN HOW BEAUTIFUL THAT SLEEP WAS . $ A BOOK OF ESSAYS BRINGS YOU TO STUDY ARCHITECTURE ; THE BOOK ON ARCHITECTURE BRINGS YOU TO A HISTORY OF CITIES . $ 07 I CAN ISOLATE SOUNDS AND TASTES AND SMELLS . $ 01 THE IMPACT OF CITIES BRINGS YOU TO SOCIOLOGY ; SOCIOLOGY LEADS YOU TO SCIENCE AND ELECTRONICS ; AND ELECTRONICS INVOL VES YOU IN TRYING TO UNDERSTAND THEORIES TOTALLY INCOMPREHEN SIBLE TO YOU . $ 03 LOOK AT THAT MODEL . $ 07 IT WAS A SLEEP THAT UNCLOGGED THE PORES OF MY SKIN . $ 03 IT GROWS , WITHOUT HIM TOUCHING IT , IT GROWS . $ 01 THEN HE STARTS ON ANOTHER ESSAY - AND HE 'S OFF AGAIN . $ 03 WHAT IS AN ESSAY ? $ 01 AN ESSAY ON MARXIST THEORIES OF ART BRINGS HIM TO A STUDY OF THE HISTORY OF REVOLUTIONS , WHICH INTRODUCES HIM TO VOL TAIRE , WHO IS INSUFFICIENT , SO HE GOES ON TO THE PARIS COM MUNE WHICH BRINGS HIM BACK TO MARX AGAIN . $ 03 ONE MAN'S DIGEST OF ANOTHER MAN'S THOUGHTS . $ THAT 'S ALL AN ESSAY IS . $ 01 AND WE HAVE TO LISTEN EACH TIME HE MAKES A LEAP FORWARD T O START ANOTHER CIRCLE , AND THE ROOM BECOMES CLUTTERED WITH BOOKS THAT HE BUYS AND HE BUYS IN A GREAT FEVER . $ THAT 'S WHAT YOU 'VE GOT , MANFRED , A GREAT FEVER . $ 07 ESTHER , LOVELY , DON'T , YOU 'LL TIRE YOURSELF OUT . $ 03 COME AND SIT WITH YOUR SISTER , YOU CALLOUS BASTARD . $ 01 COME AND SIT WITH YOUR SISTER , YOU CALLOUS BASTERD . $ 07 < ( BOOK IN HAND ) > $ WELL I ASK YOU , LISTEN TO THIS : ' ... WE ARE MOVING INTO P HASES OF CREATIVE DISORDER ; EVERYWHERE THE LINES ARE BLURRE D . $ PHYSICS AND BIOLOGY HAVE REACHED OUTSIDE THEIR CLASSIC BOUND S ; THE IMPORTANT WORK IS BEING DONE WITHIN THE SHIFTING , U NDOGMATIC CONTOURS OF " MIDDLE FIELDS " SUCH AS BIOCHEMISTRY , MOLECULAR BIOLOGY OR PHYSICAL CHEMISTRY ... ' $ 03 THAT MODEL , JUST LOOK AT IT . $ 02 WELL NEWS LIKE THAT TERRIFIES ME . $ 03 AND THAT MODEL TERRIFIES ME . $ 01 AND HE GROWS BALD AND HE HAS HEADACHES AND HE REFUSES TO WEAR GLASSES . $ 02 WELL , DOESN'T IT TERRIFY YOU ? $ 03 EVERYTHING TERRIFIES ME . $ BABIES , DOGS , FLIES , LIGHTNING . $ 01 AND ENGLISH LAWNS WITH CATS , AND ITALIAN RENAISSANCE MUS IC AND FRAGILE , LILY-LIKE , ART-NOUVEAU GIRLS . $ BEAUTIFUL ! $ 02 ' ... WE ARE MOVING INTO PHASES OF CREATIVE DISORDER : EV ERYWHERE THE LINES ARE BLURRED ... ' $ GOOD GOD ! $ 01 MANFRED , PLEASE . $ CAN'T YOU SEE I WANT AS MUCH OF YOU AS I CAN GET ? $ 02 ALL MY LIFE YOU 'LL HAVE ME , KITTEN . $ 01 WILL I , MANFRED ? $ IN THE GRAVE , TOO ? $ #68 $ 02 < ( COMING TO HER ) > $ I 'M A PIG . $ I 'M SORRY KETZEL . $ < ( MANFRED AND ROLAND STRAIGHTEN THE CRUMPLED SHEETS ; SHE SMILES AND ENJOYS THEIR FUSSING . $ THEY STEP BACK AND REGARD HER . ) > $ GOOD GOD , HOW EXQUISITE YOU LOOK , LIKE A DOLL . $ 01 FRAGILE YOU MEAN , AND PALE - LIKE A SICK CHILD . $ OH I DO GET TIRED SO QUICKLY . $ 02 THAT WASN'T QUICKLY . $ YOU 'VE BEEN TALKING FOR THE LAST TWO HOURS - A STEADY DRONE WHILE I WAS READING . $ 03 SHE USED TO BE SO SILENT AND SHY . $ 01 SHE USED TO HAVE NOTHING TO SAY ; NOW SHE 'D GIVE LONG SP EECHES IF SHE COULD , IN PUBLIC . $ 03 WHAT WOULD YOUR SPEECHES BE KETZEL ? $ 01 LONG LISTS OF ALL THE THINGS I REALLY CARE ABOUT , AND WH Y . $ WHO DO I HATE , WHO DO I LOVE ; WHAT DO I VALUE , WHAT DO I DESPISE ; WHAT PLEASES , WHAT OFFENDS ME ? $ AND WHEN I KNEW , I 'D NAIL THE LIST TO THE DOOR OF THE COMM ONS - NO , THAT 'S COMMON - THE DOORS OF ST. PAUL'S . $ 02 SLEEP , KETZEL , AND BY THE TIME YOU WAKE YOU 'LL SMELL H OT TOAST AND THICK COFFEE . $ 01 IT 'S SUCH A FUNNY THING , SLEEP . $ A BODY CURLS ITSELF UP , CLOSES ITS EYES AND WAITS . $ IT DOES ABSOLUTELY NOTHING ELSE , A FEW TURNS PERHAPS , BUT JUST LIES , PASSIVELY , WAITING FOR SOMETHING TO HAPPEN TO I T . $ 02 SLEEP . $ < ( KISSING HER . ) > $ LOVELY EYES , LOVELY LIPS . $ NO ONE 'S LEAVING , SLEEP . $ < ( PAUSE . $ LOOKS AT PHOTO MONTAGE . ) > $ OUR GRANDFATHER AND GRANDMOTHER FROM ODESSA . $ OUR MOTHER , AGED NINETEEN . $ HER BROTHERS , THEO , NACHUM , ABRAHAM . $ THEIR CHILDREN , THEIR CHILDREN'S CHILDREN ... THE COUSINS W E 'VE NEVER SEEN . $ < ( THEY MOVE AWAY FROM THE BED . $ CRISPIN HUGS HIMSELF INTO A RED VELVET WING-BACKED ARM-CHAIR . $ ROLAND SITS ON THE FLOOR AT THE FOOT OF THE BED IN A SIMPLE YOGA POSITION . $ MANFRED RETURNS TO HIS MODEL . ) $ 03 < ( TO ROLAND ) > $ WELL THAT 'S CRUEL . $ I SAY THAT 'S CRUEL . $ SHE YOUR SWEETHEART , SO ILL , AND YOU - YOU SIT , CONTEMPLA TING , PEACEFULLY . $ 02 SHE 'S NOT SO ILL , CRISPIN . $ THE BLOOD-COUNT WAS BETTER YESTERDAY . $ 03 SHE 'S DYING , MANFRED , FACE IT , SHE IS . $ 02 WE DON'T KNOW THAT . $ 03 SAY IT TO YOURSELF : MY SISTER 'S DYING . $ 02 WE DON'T KNOW - $ 03 SAY IT TO ME AND ROLAND . $ 02 WE DON'T KNOW FOR CERTAIN . $ 07 THAT LUNCH - $ - I TASTED EACH PART OF IT , MY THROAT SEPARATED EACH PART , SHARPLY . $ AND THOSE SMELLS , YOU KNOW ? - HOW MEALS SMELL JUST OF FOOD OR A PARTICULAR SPICE . $ CRISPLY , LIKE A STING . $ AND SOUNDS . $ IT 'S AS THOUGH I 'M HEARING THE SOUND OF VELVET FOR THE FIR ST TIME , AND THE MOVEMENT OF WOOD WHERE THE JOINTS IN THE F URNITURE ARE , AND CRISPIN'S BREATHING . $ LISTEN . $ CAN'T YOU HEAR THE TINIEST SHIFTING OF EVERYTHING IN THE ROO M ? $ < ( PAUSE ) > $ I THINK I 'M TURNING INTO AN AESTHETE . $ < ( CRISPIN RISES SUDDENLY , AND MOVES TO DRAW THE CURTAINS ACROSS THE WINDOW . ) > $ 02 BUT IT 'S STILL DAYLIGHT , YOU 'RE SHUTTING OUT THE LIGHT . $ 03 CANDLES . $ LIGHT CANDLES . $ 02 CANDLES ? $ NOW ? $ 03 THERE 'S CANDLES , ISN'T THERE ? $ WELL , LIGHT THEM . $ 07 PULL THOSE CURTAINS BACK , CRISPIN , THERE 'S NOTHING TO BE FRIGHTENED OF . $ 03 YOU 'RE ALSO FRIGHTENED , YOU . $ BUT YOU WON'T ADMIT IT , WILL YOU ? $ 02 CRISPIN ! $ 03 WELL HE IS , AND YOU - PLAYING AROUND WITH YOUR MOLECULES OF HEREDITY . $ WHO THE HELL WANTS TO KNOW HOW THE MESS HAPPENED ANYWAY ? $ 02 CRISPIN , HUSH . $ 03 LIGHT CANDLES , LIGHT THEM ! $ 02 < ( HUGGING HIM ) > $ CRISPIN , HUSH . $ < ( CRISPIN REJECTS HIM AND RETURNS TO CHAIR ALONE . ) > $ WE 'LL LIGHT THEM . $ < ( MANFRED LIGHTS FOUR CANDLES SITTING IN CANDELABRA . $ HE CANNOT WORK , SO THEY ALL SIT IN THE FLICKERING GLOW . ) > $ 07 AND I 'M GOING TO STOP EATING FROM NOW - EXCEPT FOODS WIT H PRIMARY TASTES , LIKE FRUIT AND MEAT , VERY UNCOOKED , AND NUTS . $ 03 I 'M COLD . $ < ( MANFRED GOES TO THE BEDSIDE AND TAKES THE COVER , WHICH HE LOVINGLY WRAPS AROUND CRISPIN . ) > $ < ( REACHING TO RECORD-PLAYER ) > $ AND MUSIC , LET 'S HAVE MUSIC . $ 02 ESTHER ! $ 03 ESTHER WON'T MIND . $ SHE LIKES WAKING UP TO MUSIC . $$ < ( IT IS THE SECOND PART OF MAHLER'S EIGHTH SYMPHONY . ) > $ 02 WHO DO I HATE , WHO DO I LOVE ; WHAT DO I VALUE , WHAT DO I DESPISE ; WHAT PLEASES , WHAT OFFENDS ME ? $ THEM 'S THOUGHTS , THEM IS . $ 07 AND I SHALL CEASE TO BE OBESE . $ IT 'S SO HUMILIATING TO HAVE A BODY THAT WON'T DO WHAT YOU W ANT IT TO DO . $ I WOULD STOP USING WORDS IF I COULD . $ 03 DO YOU KNOW I 'VE STOPPED READING IN THE LAVATORY . $ I KEPT FEELING IT WAS AN INSULT TO THE WRITER . $ 07 FUNNY , IT 'S QUITE THE REVERSE FOR ME . $ I 'M SO DISGUSTED WITH THE ACT , I NEED A BOOK TO HELP ME RI SE ABOVE IT . $ < ( PAUSE . ) > $ I SOMETIMES WISH WE DIDN'T BELONG TO THIS GENERATION . $ TALK LIKE THAT SHOULD FEEL , INSTINCTIVELY - CRUDE . $ 03 IT DOESN'T OFFEND . $ 07 THEN IT SHOULD . $ THERE WERE TIMES WHEN TO PICK OUR NOSES AND PUT OUR FEET ON CHAIRS AND SWEAR IN FRONT OF GIRLS AND FIND IT THRILLING WHE N THEY SWORE STRAIGHT BACK WAS ALL DELIGHT . $ SUCH DEFIANCE , SO SWEEET , SO FULL OF ITS OWN KIND OF DIGNI TY . $ BUT IT 'S SUCH A MINOR KIND OF DIGNITY I FEEL , NOW ; SUCH A N EPHEMERAL DELIGHT , SUCH A TIRESOME SORT OF DEFIANCE . $ THERE 'S NO - NO NOBILITY IN IT . $ WE 'RE SUCH AN ODIOUS LOT , US ; NOT NOBLE AT ALL . $ NO , NO - MAJESTY . $ 03 LIKE THIS ROOM . $ NO MAJESTY HERE . $ DISHONEST , THAT 'S WHAT IT IS . $ WE OWN FIVE SHOPS SELLING TWENTIETH-CENTURY INTERIORS WHICH WE 'VE DESIGNED , WE 'VE DESIGNED , MIND YOU , AND YET LOOK AT THIS ROOM . $ BITS AND PIECES FROM OTHER MEN'S DECADES . $ 02 WE 'VE NEGLECTED THOSE SHOPS . $ 07 I HATE THEM . $ EVERYTHING ABOUT THEM . $ I HATE THEM . $ 02 ESTHER KEEPS COMPLAINING : $ ' WHY ARE YOU HERE ALL THE TIME ? $ WHO 'S LOOKING AFTER THE SHOPS ? ' $ 03 TELL HER . $ I KEEP SAYING WE SHOULD TELL HER . $ 02 WHAT GOOD WOULD IT DO , CRISPIN ? $ 03 WE 'RE GOING TO BE BANKRUPT . $ SHE SHOULD KNOW . $ 02 SHE 'LL KNOW SOON . $ 03 AND WHY HAVEN'T THE GIRLS COME ? $ 07 AUDITORS ARE LONG-WINDED . $ 03 YOU SHOULD HAVE GONE WITH THEM . $ 07 WE SHOULD ALL HAVE GONE . $ POOR GIRLS . $ NOT EVEN THEY CARE ANY LONGER . $ ONLY THEY 'RE WOMEN , TENACIOUS , HEAVY WITH LOYALTIES - LIK E UNMILKED COWS . $ < ( PAUSE ) > $ I WONDER IF YOUR EYES CHANGE COLOUR WHEN YOU TURN INTO AN AE STHETE ? $ 03 THAT MUSIC . $ TURN IT OFF . $ PLEASE ! $ . ( CRISPIN SEEMS TO WANT TO VANISH INTO THE ARM-CHAIR AND B LANKET . $ MANFRED TURNS OFF THE MUSIC AT ITS MOST VIBRANTLY PASSIONATE PASSAGE . $ SILENCE . ) > $ 07 MUSIC NEVER COULD SOFTEN PAIN . $ 03 YOU DON'T THINK SHE 'S SUFFERING PAIN , DO YOU ? $ 07 SHE ACHES THAT 'S ALL . $ 03 SHE SAYS SHE ACHES BUT WE ALL KNOW - $ 07 THERE 'S FATIGUE , WEARINESS , ONLY THAT . $ 03 YOU 'RE A FOOL , ROLAND , AFTER ALL HER BLEEDING AND THAT BRUISING - YOU DON'T WANT TO BELIEVE IT . $ 07 WHEN ESTHER SUFFERS PAIN SO WILL I , THAT 'S HOW I 'LL KN OW - IT 'LL COME TO ME ALSO ; THAT 'S WHAT BEING AN AESTHETE MEANS . $ 02 THAT 'S WRONG , ROLAND . $ ESTHER WOULDN'T LIKE THAT . $ YOU MUSTN'T MAKE PREDICTIONS LIKE THAT TO YOURSELF , NOT EVE N IN A JOKE . $ I KNOW YOU , YOU MAKE PREDICTIONS THEN CAN'T FIND REASONS WH Y YOU SHOULDN'T FULFIL THEM . $ 03 LISTEN TO HIS VOICE . $ HOW SOFTLY HE SPEAKS , STILL . $ 02 STOP TALKING ABOUT ME AS IF I WASN'T HERE . $ 03 GENTLE MANFRED . $ HOW DOES HE DO IT ? $ WHERE DOES HE FIND IT ? $ ALL THAT GENTLENESS ? $ 02 AND STOP PRETENDING CRUELTY , CRISPIN . $ NO ONE BELIEVES YOU . $ 07 DO YOU EVER THINK HOW STRANGE , BUT REALLY STRANGE PEOPLE ARE ? $ THERE WAS ONCE A MAN I KNEW , SHORTLY AFTER WE 'D OPENED THE PARTNERSHIP , WHO ASKED ME TO ARRANGE THE INSIDE OF A LARGE ROOM LIKE A GRAND CONCERT HALL , WITH PASTEL MURALS SHOWING VISTAS OF PEOPLE ARRANGED ON SEATS AND IN BOXES LISTENING T O MUSIC . $ AND INTO THIS ROOM HE INVITED HIS FRIENDS EVERY SUNDAY MORNI NG TO WATCH HIM CONDUCT GRAMOPHONE RECORDS . $ < ( PAUSE ) > $ HE WASN'T AN AESTHETE . $ 03 I REMEMBER , WHEN I WAS WORKING ON MY OWN , A WOMAN RANG ME UP AT THREE IN THE MORNING . $ #69 $ SHE 'D SAT ALL NIGHT LOOKING AT HER BEDROOM WALL . $ IT HAD TO BE RED . $ THERE AND THEN . $ IT HAD TO BE PAINTED RED . $ AND I RODE TO HER HOUSE FIVE MILES AWAY , ON A BICYCLE , HOP EFULLY IMAGINING IT WAS A RUSE TO GET ME TO HER BEDCHAMBER I N A NEEDFUL HOUR . $ BUT IT WASN'T . $ THERE ON THE FLOOR , WHEN I ARRIVED , WAS A BRUSH AND A TIN OF RED PAINT AND I HAD TO WORK , WHILE SHE WATCHED , FOR THR EE HOURS , SITTING UP IN BED . $ AND AFTER IT SHE PAID ME TWENTY POUNDS . $ ONE WALL . $ < ( PAUSE ) > $ MANFRED SAYS NOTHING . $ HE DOESN'T FIND THE WORLD STRANGE . $ ONLY LOVELY AND INTERESTING . $ EXPLANATIONS FOR EVERYBODY , NO EVIL FOR HIM . $ LOVELY COMPASSIONS AND TENDER OPINIONS HE HAS . $ 02 STOP TALKING ABOUT ME AS IF I WASN'T HERE . $ 03 YOU STILL THINK WE LOVE EACH OTHER , DON'T YOU ? $ 02 AND DON'T SHOUT AT ME . $ 03 IF ONLY HE DIDN'T DENY THE EXISTENCE OF EVIL . $ THAT 'S WHAT I CAN'T BEAR . $ 07 STOP IT , CRISPIN . $ 03 EVIL , EVIL , MANFRED , CHANT IT , LAD . $ 07 CRISPIN ! $ 03 EVIL , MANFRED . $ THEY TOOK A CHILD FROM ITS MOTHER , MANFRED , AND SMASHED IT S HEAD AGAINST THE WALL . $ EVIL ! $ 07 STOP IT OR GO HOME . $ 03 A WILLINGNESS TO DO A THING WHICH IS THE OPPOSITE OF GOOD NESS . $ A WILLINGNESS , A LOVE , AN ACTIVE WILLINGNESS . $ EVIL ! $ EVIL , EVIL , EVIL , SAY IT MANFRED . $ 07 CRISPIN ! $ 03 SAY IT ! $ 02 OUR TROUBLE , CRISPIN , US LOT , THE ONCE-UPON-A-TIME BRI GHT LADS FROM UP NORTH , IS THAT WE 'VE NO SCHOLARSHIP . $ BITS AND PIECES OF INFORMATION , A CHARMING EARTHINESS , INT ELLIGENCE AND CHEEK , BUT - NO SCHOLARSHIP . $ LOOK AT THESE BOOKS HERE . $ < ( HE PICKS UP A PILE AND THROWS THEM AROUND HIM . ) > $ RENAN , TAINE , KIERKEGAARD WITTGENSTEIN , SPENGLER , PLATO , JUNG , HOMER , VICO , ADORNO , LUKACS , HEINE , BLOCH - YO U 'VE NOT HEARD OF HALF OF THEM , HAVE YOU ? $ ANF HALF OF THEM , TWO-THIRDS , I 'LL NEVER READ . $ DO YOU KNOW , NEW KNOWLEDGE DISRUPTS ME . $ BECAUSE THERE 'S NO SOLID ROCK OF LEARNING IN THIS THIN , UN DERNOURISHED BRAIN OF MINE , SO EACH FRESH DISCOVERY OF A FA CT OR AN IDEA DOESN'T REPLACE , IT UNDERMINES THE LAST ; IT 'S GOT NO MEASUREMENT BY WHICH TO JUDGE ITSELF , NO PERSPECT IVE BY WHICH TO EVALUATE ITS TRUTH OR ITS WORTH ; IT CAN TAK E NO PROPER PLACE IN THAT LOVELY LONG VIEW OF HISTORY SCALLO PED OUT BY BLOODY SCHOLARSHIP , BECAUSE EACH NEW CONCERN REN DERS THE LAST ONE UNIMPORTANT . $ NO BLOODY SCHOLARSHIP , US . $ AND WHEN I SOMETIMES GET A FEELING THAT TWO PEOPLE IN LOVE O R ONE MAN AFRAID OF DEATH MIGHT BE A SUPREME CONSIDERATION , ALONG COMES THIS MAN WITH HIS ' WE ARE MOVING INTO PHASES O F CREATIVE DISORDER ' AND HIS ' EVERYWHERE THE LINES ARE BLU RRED ' AND I 'VE NO DEFENCE . $ HE SOUNDS SO RIGHT , I THINK , AND BESIDES - HE 'S GOT SCHOL ARSHIP . $ WHAT 'S ' SILLY LOVING ' AND ' BANAL DYING ' IN ALL THAT ? $ EVIL ? $ YOU WANT ME TO CONFESS TO THE KNOWLEDGE OF EVIL ? $ I CONFESS IT . $ I SAY IT - EVIL ! $ SO ? $ AND WHAT SHALL I DO WITH THAT BIT OF KNOWLEDGE ? $ 03 ONLY A BLOODY JEW WOULD DISCOVER EVIL WITH SADNESS INSTEA D OF DESPAIR . $ 02 < ( MOVING TO ESTHER'S BED ) $ I 'LL NEVER DO ANYTHING RIGHT FOR YOU CRISPIN . $ LOOK HOW SHE SLEEPS ; SO SWEET . $ WHAT THE HELL DO I CARE FOR THE DEAD KNOWLEDGE OF EVIL WHEN I 'M BLESSED WITH A SISTER AS SWEET AS THIS ? $ < ( PAUSE , LISTENING ) > $ THE GIRLS ARE COMING . $ < ( TESSA AND SIMONE , THE LAST TWO OF THE FRIENDS ENTER WIT H MR. MASON , ' MACEY ' , AGED ABOUT FIFTY-FIVE , JEWISH , W HO HAS BEEN THE MANAGER OF THEIR MAIN SHOP . ) > $ 04 YES , THE GIRLS ARE COMING AND WHAT 'S MORE THEY 'RE HOT AND MAD AND FULL OF WAR . $ TELL THEM , MACEY . $ 06 TESSA . $ I 'VE TOLD YOU , NO ALARMS . $ 05 NOT NOW TESSA . $ < ( HANGS UP COATS . ) > $ 04 AND WHAT ARE WE IN DARKNESS FOR ? $ WHO 'S DRAWN THE CURTAINS . $ < ( SHE RUSHES TO BLOW OUT THE CANDLES AND VIOLENTLY DRAW AS IDE THE CURTAINS . ) > $ 06 ALARMS AREN'T NECESSARY . $ 04 ARE YOU GOING MAD ! $ CANDLES ! $ 06 SHE DOESN'T LISTEN . $ 04 BROAD DAYLIGHT AND YOU LIGHT CANDLES . $ 06 IT 'S LIKE TALKING TO A BRICK WALL . $ 04 LOOK AT THEM . $ 05 COME ON , TAKE OFF YOUR SHOES . $ CRISPIN , FETCH A BOWL OF WATER . $ < ( GOES TO POUR DRINKS . ) > $ 04 THEY SIT FAIR , SQUARE AND IMMOVABLE . $ 02 TESSA , LOWER YOUR VOICE - ESTHER . $ 04 I 'LL WAKE HER , SHALL I WAKE HER ? $ 05 ALL RIGHT NOW , TESSA . $ 04 SHALL I GET HER ON TO YOU ? $ YOU 'LL LISTEN TO HER , THE DARLING 'S DYING , YOU 'LL LISTE N TO HER . $ 05 YOU 'VE FRIGHTENED THEM ENOUGH . $ 04 < ( SITTING IN EIGHTEENTH-CENTURY CHAIR AND TAKING OFF HE R SHOES ) > $ TWENTY YEARS ! $ OUT ! $ LIKE THAT ! $ 05 ROLAND , MOVE OFF YOUR HAUNCHES , IT 'S TANTALIZING . $ 04 AND I 'VE TOLD THEM AND TOLD THEM , AND THEY DON'T LISTEN . $ 05 MACEY , TAKE A SEAT . $ 04 < ( MOVING TO STOOL BY COFFEE TABLE ) > $ I HATE THAT CHAIR . $ < ( SIMONE JOINS HER AND MASSAGES HER FEET . ) > $ TELL THEM , MACEY . $ 06 THAT 'S NOT NICE , TESSA , TO COME IN STRAIGHT AWAY TO A HOUSE AND NOT SAY HELLO OR ASK ABOUT PEOPLE . $ NO GRACE , YOUR GENERATION . $ 07 HALLELUJAH ! $ 05 < ( TO CRISPIN ) > $ PLEASE ! $ 02 MACEY , I 'VE GOT A NEW THOUGHT FOR YOU . $ < ( PICKING UP A BOOK . ) > $ 04 MACEY 'S GOT SOMETHING TO SAY . $ 02 THERE 'S A MAN HERE SAYS THAT THE COMING OF PRINT GAVE MA N A ONE-DIMENSIONAL VIEW OF THE WORLD AND CRIPPLED ALL HIS O THER PERCEPTIONS . $ 04 LET MACEY TELL YOU THE NEWS . $ 02 SSH ! $ HE SAYS ' THE PHONETIC ALPHABET MAKES A BREAK BETWEEN EYE AN D EAR ' AND MAN HAS USED THIS TO CHANGE FROM ' THE TRIBAL TO THE CIVILIZED SPHERE ' AND ' SINCE IT 'S OBVIOUS THAT MOST CIVILIZED PEOPLE ARE CRUDE AND NUMB IN THEIR PERCEPTION ' TH EN IT FOLLOWS THAT THE PRINTING PRESS HAS HELD BACK PROGRESS FOR FIVE CENTURIES AND WE MUST START ALL OVER AGAIN TO UNIF Y THE SENSES . $ 04 CRISPIN , YOU STOP THEM . $ OUCH ! $ GENTLY , SIMONE , I 'VE GOT BUNIONS . $ 02 ISN'T THAT STAGGERING ? $ NOW I FIND THAT ONE THOUGHT ALONE UPSETS EVERYTHING , EVERY THING . $ 04 MANFRED , LET MACEY SPEAK . $ 06 WHAT 'S SO STAGGERING ABOUT IT ? $ WHAT STAGGERS ME MORE IS THAT PRINT HAS BEEN AROUND FOR THE LAST FIVE HUNDRED YEARS AND NOT ONLY IS TWO-THIRDS OF THE WO RLD STILL ILLITERATE , BUT EVEN THOSE WHO COULD READ NEVER D ID AND STILL DON'T , SO WHERE 'S HIS PROOF ? $ HOW CAN YOU BE CRIPPLED BY SOMETHING YOU NEVER ENGAGED IN ? $ MAYBE IT 'S THE OTHER WAY ROUND ? $ MAYBE THEY GOT CRIPPLED BECAUSE THEY DIDN'T READ . $ 04 I WANT THEM TO KNOW NOW . $ 06 TESSA , NO ALARMS . $ 02 BUT WORDS ACT LIKE DAMS , HE SAYS . $ 06 NONSENSE ! $ I 'VE NEVER HEARD SUCH NONSENSE . $ LOVELY THINGS LIKE WORDS ? $ ' LANGUOR ' - LISTEN TO IT . $ IT SOUNDS LIKE WHAT IT IS - FULL OF LINGERING AND LONGING : ' LANGUOR ! ' $ ' ANGUISH ' , ' MIASMATIC ' , ' CRACKLING ' , ' SURREPTITIOU S ' , ' SONOROUS ' , ' ASININE ' . $ LOVELY WORDS . $ DAMS ? $ GATES MORE LIKE , TO EVERYWHERE , TO EVERY-POSSIBLE-WHERE . $ WHAT ELSE IS THERE ? $ CAN YOU THINK OF SOMETHING BETTER ? $ 04 HE 'S LIKE AN OLD GRANDMOTHER . $ YOU 'RE LIKE AN OLD GRANDMOTHER . $ 07 HE IS AN OLD GRANDMOTHER . $ 03 LEAVE HIM ALONE , HE 'S MY GRANDMOTHER . $ 06 IF YOU 'RE LISTENING TO A MAN TALKING AND YOU 'RE NOT SUR E YOU LIKE WHAT HE SAYS , WHAT HELPS YOU TO BE SURE ? $ HE SOUNDS RIGHT , BUT SOMETHING NAGS AT YOU . $ TO FEEL HE 'S WRONG IS NOT ENOUGH , YOU WANT TO LOCATE IT , MORE PRECISELY . $ 04 LOCATE IT , THEN ; FOR CHRIST'S SAKE LOCATE IT ! $ 06 HE 'S ATTACKING THE WORLD , LET 'S SAY . $ HE 'S CRITICAL . $ THAT 'S GOOD , VERY GOOD TO BE CRITICAL . $ IT 'S A STUPID , IGNORANT , VULGAR PLACE , HE 'S SAYING . $ AND YOU AGREE ; MOST OF THE TIME IT IS . $ AND HE 'S SAYING IT SADLY ; THAT MAKES YOU THINK HE 'S NOBLE . $ BUT STILL , SOMETHING 'S MISSING , HE DOESN'T SOUND QUITE RI GHT , IF ONLY YOU CAN FIND THE RIGHT WORDS FOR IT . $ WHAT ARE THEY ? $ WHAT WILL DESCRIBE , AS NEAR PRECISELY AS MATTERS , WHAT 'S WRONG ? $ 04 HAVE YOU EVER HEARD A MAN TALK SO MUCH ? $ 06 LET ME TALK ! $ HOW CAN I KNOW WHAT I 'M THINKING IF I DON'T TALK ? $ WORDS , YOU 'RE LOOKING FOR THE WORDS . $ IF ONLY YOU CAN FIND THEM YOU 'LL UNDERSTAND . $ SUDDENLY , YOU KNOW . $ HE 'S CRITICAL , HE 'S SAD , BUT - BUT WHAT ? $ #70 $ ' DISPASSIONATE ' ! $ THAT 'S IT , THAT 'S THE WORD . $ AND SUDDENLY ALL THE OTHER WORDS THAT SOUNDED GOOD LIKE - ' CRITICAL ' AND ' SAD ' - ARE PUSHED JUST A LITTLE ASIDE AND A NEW VIEW OF HIS FILTERS THROUGH . $ HIS SADNESS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THE SUFFERING OF THE WORL D , IT HAS TO DO WITH HIS IMAGE OF HIMSELF . $ HE WANTS YOU TO SEE HIM AS BEING SAD . $ THAT WORD ' DISPASSIONATE ' HAS ENABLED YOU TO SUSPECT HIM O F WANTING TO SEE THE WORLD AS FULL OF IGNORANCE BECAUSE , BY COMPARISON , HE CAN THEN APPEAR CLEVER . $ AND THAT LEADS YOU FURTHER ; BECAUSE YOU 'VE DISCOVERED THAT HE 'S DISPASSIONATE YOU THEN RECOGNIZE THAT THE DETAILS OF HIS CRITICISM ARE BARREN . $ THERE ! $ ANOTHER WORD THAT 'S COME TO YOU - ' BARREN ' , AND STERILE . $ WORDS DAMS ? $ THEY 'RE GATES , SPECIOUS , MAGNIFICENT - LOVELY ! $ 02 THERE 'S SOMETHING WRONG . $ 04 WILL YOU PLEASE LET MACEY TELL YOU . $ 02 YOU SOUND RIGHT BUT THERE 'S SOMETHING WRONG . $ I 'LL THINK ABOUT IT . $ 04 MACEY ? $ 06 ALL RIGHT , ALL RIGHT . $ IT 'S A ROTTEN BUSINESS , IT 'S MY RIGHT TO PROCRASTINATE . $ THERE ' PROCRASTINATE ' , WONDERFUL WORD - $ 04 MACEY ! $ 06 YOU 'RE BANKRUPT ! $ MANFRED , ROLAND , CRISPIN - I THINK IT 'S WHAT YOU ALL WANT ED AND IT 'S HAPPENED . $ YOU 'RE BANKRUPT . $ 03 < ( MOVING TO GET THE BOWL OF WATER ) > $ GOOD ! $ 04 GOOD ? $ 03 YES , GOOD ! $ 06 GOOD ? $ 03 GOOD ! $ GOOD ! $ 06 BUT I DON'T UNDERSTAND YOU ANY MORE ? $ GIVEN UP , IS IT ? $ MY LOVELY BOYS GIVEN UP ? $ 02 WE 'RE NOT BOYS ANY MORE , MACEY . $ YOU 'VE GROWN OLD WITH US SO YOU HAVEN'T NOTICED . $ 06 BUT YOU 'VE GOTTEN UNHEALTHY , CLOSED , INCESTUOUS . $ IS IT A HOLIDAY YOU WANT ? $ GO AWAY THEN , ALL OF YOU . $ I 'LL LOOK AFTER THINGS , DAY AND NIGHT I 'LL LOOK AFTER THI NGS , LIKE ALWAYS , I 'LL STAY WITH IT , I 'LL SELL THINGS , I 'LL MORTGAGE MY HOUSE , WE 'LL ALL SELL THINGS . $ WOULDN'T I DO THAT FOR YOU ? $ WOULDN'T I DO ANYTHING FOR YOU ? $ 07 SPELL IT OUT , MACEY . $ 06 YOU 'RE NOT LISTENING , EVEN . $ DO I DESERVE THAT ? $ < ( NO RESPONSE , THEY WAIT . ) > $ WELL , I 'VE CRACKED EACH PROBLEM AS IT CAME UP . $ I 'VE KEPT MY EYE ON THE ACCOUNTS , DAILY , THERE 'S NO MESS BUT THERE 'S NO MONEY . $ THE SUM IS SIMPLE . $ YOU 'VE NEGLECTED TO ORDER WHAT YOU ONCE KNEW WOULD SELL , Y OU 'VE NOT COMMISSIONED NEW DESIGNS LIKE YOU USED TO , YOU ' VE NOT DONE ANY YOURSELVES , AND SO NOW SALES DON'T EQUAL BI LLS AND THEY 'VE NOT BEEN EQUALLING BILLS FOR A LONG TIME . $ THE RESERVE CAPITAL IS EATEN UP ; YOU 'VE NOT LISTENED TO MY WARNINGS - EXCEPT TESSA , AND ALL SHE 'S DONE IS DESIGN THR EE NEW LINES OF WALL PAPER AND MATCHING FABRICS AND - THAT ' S IT . $ < ( CRISPIN LEAVES . ) > $ TESA WANTED ME TO TELL YOU BECAUSE SHE SAID YOU WOULDN'T LIS TEN TO HER , SO I 'VE TOLD YOU AND SO NOW I 'M GOING - EXCEP T I WANT TO SEE MY ESTHER . $ 07 STAY , MACEY . $ IT 'S NOT SO BAD . $ WE 'RE NOT REALLY BANKRUPT . $ I WISH WE WERE , BUT UNFORTUNATELY WE 'VE ALL GOT LARGE PRIV ATE ACCOUNTS . $ AT LEAST I HAVE . $ IT 'S HATEFUL , I 'VE ALWAYS HATED IT , THIS TRICK OF MINE , KNOWING THE FEEL OF MONEY , BUT THERE WE ARE , WE 'RE RICH . $ THE BUSINESS WILL FOLD BECAUSE WE WANT IT TO , BUT THE BILLS WILL BE PAID AND ADEQUATE NOTICE GIVEN TO THE STAFF . $ SO NOW LET 'S FORGET THE SHOPS , LET 'S NOT TALK ABOUT IT TH IS EVENING , OR EVER MORE . $ < ( PAUSE ) > $ I 'M BECOMING AN AESTHETE . $ 06 A WHAT ? $ 02 HE 'S TURNING INTO AN AESTHETE . $ 06 HE 'S TURNING INTO AN AESTHETE ? $ IT 'S POSSIBLE ? $ HE 'S HAD AN OPERATION OR SOMETHING ? $ < ( ESTHER WAKES UP SUDDENLY AND IRRITABLY . ) > $ 01 WHERE 'S MY COFFEE ? $ 04 ESTHER ! $ 01 IT 'S NEVER READY WHEN I WANT IT . $ YOU NEGLECT ME AS WELL ? $ 04 < ( GOING TO HER ) > $ ESTHER , HELLO MY KITTEN . $ THE DAY 'S OVER . $ WE 'RE ALL HOME , TOGETHER AGAIN . $ HOW ARE YOU NOW ? $ YOU LOOK SO RESTED . $ LOOK AT HER , SIMONE , SHE HAS COLOUR AGAIN . $ 01 NEVER MIND MY COLOUR , WHERE 'S MY COFFEE AND MY HOT TOAS TS ? $ WHAT ARE YOU ALL DOING HERE ? $ MACEY , WHY ARE YOU HERE ? $ GO BACK TO WORK . $ I WON'T HAVE ALL THIS IDLENESS . $ I 'VE NEVER BEEN ABLE TO BEAR IDLENESS . $ 06 ESTHER ! $ SUCH SHOUTING . $ 01 AND MY COFFEE - WHERE IS IT ? $ 02 HUSH , KETZEL . $ I 'LL GET IT FOR YOU . $ YOU 'VE WOKEN UP EARLIER THAN USUAL , THAT 'S ALL . $ 06 WHAT DO YOU MEAN ' GO BACK TO WORK ' ? $ THE DAY 'S OVER . $ AND IF IT WASN'T OVER , I COULDN'T COME AND VISIT YOU ? $ WHAT 'S THIS ? $ 01 LOOK , MACEY , BRUISES . $ MY BODY , FULL OF BRUISES , LOOK AT ME , MY ARMS , MY LEGS , FULL OF PAIN . $ I 'M RACKED WITH PAIN AND YOU ALL STAND AROUND . $ 07 YOU HAVEN'T GOT PAIN , ESTHER . $ 04 SHUT UP , ROLAND . $ 07 SHE HASN'T GOT ANY PAIN , SHE KEEPS SAYING SHE HAS AND YO U BELIEVE HER AND I KNOW SHE HASN'T GOT ANY PAIN . $ < ( CRISPIN ENTERS WITH A BOWL , A JUG OF WATER AND A TOWEL . ) > $ 03 TESSA , YOUR WATER . $ 02 I 'LL GET YOUR COFFEE AND TOAST , KETZEL . $ < ( LEAVES . ) > $ 06 ' KETZEL ' . $ I HAD A SISTER WE USED TO CALL KETZEL : TINY KITTEN . $ SHE BECAME A MATHEMATICIAN , VERY RABBINICAL SHE WAS . $ ESTHER , I GOT A STORY FOR YOU . $ A RABBI DIED AND WENT TO HEAVEN AND HE MANAGED TO GET A WORD IN EDGEWAYS WITH GOD AND HE SAID , ' HEY , GOD , IS IT TRUE YOU CHOSE THE JEWS ? ' AND GOD SAID , ' YES , ' AND THE RAB BI SAID , ' WELL DO ME A FAVOUR AND CHOOSE SOMEONE ELSE . ' ISN'T THAT FUNNY ? $ GOOD , SHE LAUGHS , IT 'S ALL RIGHT THEN . $ 01 < ( DESPITE LAUGHING ) > $ BUT I 'M STILL SO TIRED . $ < ( ROLAND RUSHES FROM ROOM . ) > $ 04 LIE BACK THEN , KITTEN . $ HERE , LIFT A LITTLE AND I 'LL RE-ARRANGE YOUR PILLOWS . $ THERE , THEY NEED PUNCHING . $ BETTER ? $ DO YOU WANT MORE ? $ 05 COME ON , TESSA , YOUR WATER 'S HERE . $ IT 'LL GET COLD . $ < ( SIMONE KISSES ESTHER WHO CLOSES HER EYES AND DOZES AGAIN . $ THEN SHE URGES TESSA BACK TO THE CHAIR , PLACES HER FEET IN THE HOT WATER AND WASHES THEM . ) > $ 03 COME ON , MACEY , THERE 'S NOWT LEFT FOR THEE NOR ME TO D O EXCEPT DRINK . $ 06 AND WHY THE DIALECT ALL OF A SUDDEN ? $ 03 SO 'S NOT TO SEE THE SERIOUSNESS OF IT . $ 06 I DIDN'T INTEND TO STAY . $ SAY MY LITTLE PIECE AND GO , THAT 'S WHAT I INTENDED . $ 03 EAT WITH US MACEY . $ THA 'S NOT DONE THAT IN A LONGE TIME ; WE 'RE NOT TOGETHER M UCH LONGER . $ 06 I FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE , CRISPIN , AND HURT . $ I LOVE YOU ALL STILL , BUT YOU DON'T TAKE IT LIKE YOU USED T O . $ I 'M LIKE A FATHER INTRUDING ON HIS CHILDREN'S PRIVACY . $ YOU 'RE ALL VERY STRANGE TO ME IN THESE SURROUNDINGS . $ IT 'S SO LARGE , THIS HOUSE , AND FULL OF OTHER THINGS . $ NOT LIKE THE SHOP AT ALL . $ FULL OF LIGHT AND BRIGHTNESS THERE , BUT HERE - OLD NICK LIV ES HERE . $ IT 'S TOO RICH . $ 03 AYE , IT SEEMS LIKE IT RIGHT NOW BECAUSE WE 'RE ALL LIVIN G TOGETHER . $ USUALLY , THOUGH , ITS ONLY MANFRED , ESTHER AND ROLAND . $ BUT WITH ESTER'S DYING - $ 06 STOP THAT ! $ ARE YOU MAD ? $ 03 WITH ESTHER BEING ILL - WE 'VE ALL CAMPED DOWN . $ 06 YOU DON'T LEAVE EACH OTHER ALONE , YOU 'VE NOT BEEN APART FOR WEEKS NOW . $ IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT ? $ 03 WE 'VE BEEN BROUGHT TOGETHER , LIKE AN' NOW NOA ONE OF US CAN BEAR TO LOSE SIGHT OF T' OTHER . $ 06 I KNOW , I KNOW , THAT 'S JUST IT . $ I 'VE WATCHED IT . $ BUT IT COULD GO ON FOR YEARS . $ IT 'S NOT GOOD , CRISPIN . $ TELL THEM THAT . $ TELL THEM THAT IT 'S NOT GOOD . $ 03 NAY . $ IT 'S VERY GOOD , MACEY . $ WE SHOULD 'VE ALWAYS LIVED LIKE IT ; SHARED OUR PROPERTY , C ONFRONTED ONE ANOTHER'S PROBLEMS - RIGHT ! $ GOOD ! $ WILT THA STAY ? $ 06 I DON'T KNOW . $ I 'LL DRINK MY DRINK AND THINK ABOUT IT . $ < ( PAUSE . ) > $ 04 CRISPIN , COME AND BRUSH MY HAIR . $ 03 NOT WHILE SIMONE 'S WASHING YOUR FEET I WON'T . $ 04 ALL RIGHT , SIMONE , THANKS , ENOUGH NOW . $ < ( SIMONE , HURT , LEAVES TESSA TO SOAK HER FEET . $ CRISPIN BRUSHES TESSA'S LONG HAIR . ) > $ 05 ANOTHER DRINK , MACEY ? $ 06 YES , I 'LL HAVE THAT , THANK YOU . $ AND YOU 'LL MAKE THE DINNER , WON'T YOU ? $ 05 YES . $ 06 SILENT SIMONE , WORKING FOR EVERYONE . $ 05 THAT 'S MY PLEASURE , MACEY . $ BESIDES , EVEN WHEN I DO TALK THEY SHUT ME UP . $ #71 $ MY CLASS CREDENTIALS AREN'T ACCEPTABLE , DON'T YOU KNOW ! $ 06 HA ! $ CLASS ! $ ONE DAY I WILL GIVE THEM A LESSON ABOUT CLASS ; SUCH NONSENS E I 'VE HAD TO TAKE FROM THEM ALL THESE YEARS . $ 05 SUCH NONSENSE WE 'VE BOTH HAD TO TAKE , EH , MACEY ? $ 06 POOR SIMONE , YOU DO NO ONE THING AND YOU DO EVERYTHING . $ 05 IT 'S BECAUSE I CAN DO NO ONE THING THAT I DO EVERYTHING . $ I 'M VERY USELESS , MACEY . $ HERE , DRINK , STOP QUESTIONING ME , I 'M EMBARRASSED . $ IT 'S EASIER DOING THINGS . $ < ( SHE REACHES TO CONTINUE WORK ON A SMALL TAPESTRY ON STAN D . ) > $ 06 THEN DO SOMETHING FOR ME , SIMONE . $ SELL THE BUSINESS . $ 05 SELL IT ? $ ME ? $ 06 DON'T LET THEM WIND IT DOWN . $ FIND SOMEONE TO BUY IT . $ YOU 'LL GET A GOOD PRICE AND I CAN STAY WITH IT . $ I 'M TOO OLD FOR CHANGE . $ 05 YOU SELL IT , MACEY . $ IF YOU WANT TO STAY THERE YOU SELL IT . $ 06 BUT I 'M ONLY A MANAGER , YOU 'RE A DIRECTOR . $ 05 ACT ON OUR BEHALF . $ I GIVE YOU PERMISSION . $ WE DON'T CARE . $ 06 EXTREMES ! $ EVERYTHING YOU DO IS AN EXTREME . $ MEGALOMANIACS ! $ I 'VE ALWAYS SAID THAT YOU WERE MEGALOMANIACS . $ AFTER ONE SHOP WAS A SUCCESS YOU DIDN'T OPEN ANOTHER ONE BUT ANOTHER FIVE ! $ ESTHER NEVER DESIGNED SMALL TAPESTRIES , THEY HAD TO BE ENOR MOUS , FOR CATHEDRALS AND BAORD-ROOM WALLS AND AIRPORTS . $ AND LOOK AT ALL THOSE BOOKS . $ MANFRED DOESN'T BUY ONE AT A TIME , BUT WHOLE LIBRARIES , FR OM PROFESSORS WHO DIE , DESPERATELY HOPING THEIR BOOKS WILL GIVE HIM THEIR CLEVERNESS . $ AND ROLAND . $ A BRILLIANT MAN , BRILLIANT . $ FIGURES WERE GAMES FOR HIM . $ AND LOOK AT HIM . $ HE WANTS TO BECOME AN AESTHETE ! $ ONCE HE WANTED TO BE A VOLUPTUARY . $ FROM ONE EXTREME TO ANOTHER . $ EXCESSIVE . $ ALL OF YOU . $ IT 'S ALL MAD AND WRONG . $ SIX OF THE MOST TALENTED PEOPLE IN THE FIELD AND YOU 'RE ALL - YOU 'RE ALL - WELL I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU 'RE ALL DOING . $ I DON'T UNDERSTAND IT . $ IT 'S NOT ANYTHING I UNDERSTAND AT ALL . $ 05 THE STREETS ARE FILLED WITH STRANGE , YOUNG PEOPLE , MACE Y . $ BEAUTIFUL BOYS AND GIRLS WITH LONG HAIR AND COLOURFUL BITS A ND PIECES THEY BUY FROM OUR SHOP . $ ALL STYLES - VICTORIAN , ART-NOUVEAU , MILITARY - AS THOUGH THEY 'RE ATTRACTED BY THE POMP AND CIRCUMSTANCE OF TRADITION S THEY HATED - LIKE CATS PLAYING WITH MICE BEFORE DEVOURING THEM . $ AND THEY WANT ONLY ONE THING , THESE PEOPLE . $ TO LOVE . $ IT 'S AS THOUGH THEY 'RE SURROUNDED BY SO MUCH UGLINESS AND GREED THAT THEY HAVE TO SPEND ALL THEIR TIME CONVINCING THEM SELVES THAT OTHER THINGS EXIST . $ AND THEY TRY TO BE FRIGHTENED OF NOTHING . $ ANYHOW , WHATEVER IT IS - I 'M NOT MUCH GOOD AT THAT KIND OF ANALYSIS - TWO OF THEM CAME INTO THE SHOP TODAY AND HELD OU T THEIR HANDS . $ IN ONE HAND WAS A BLACK HANDKERCHIEF CONTAINING MONEY , IN T HE OTHER HAND A PACKET OF PLAIN BISCUITS . $ AND ONE OF THEM SAID ' HAVE SOME MONEY , ' AS THOUGH HE WERE OFFERING ME A CIGARETTE . $ AND DO YOU KNOW I WAS EMBARRASSED . $ BUT I PUT MY HAND INTO THE BLACK HANDKERCHIEF AND TOOK OUT T WO PENNIES , THEY WERE ALL PENNIES . $ ' NOW HAVE A BISCUIT , ' THE OTHER ONE SAID . $ I WAS MESMERIZED BUT I TOOK IT , AND ATE IT , AND THEY WATCH ED ME VERY CLOSELY , SMILING AND EAGER , AS THOUGH WAITING T O SEE IF I 'D LEARNED THE LESSON . $ THEN THEY WALKED OUT , OFFERING PENNIES AND BISCUITS TO OTHE R PEOPLE . $ I HEARD ONE PERSON SAY , ' NOT TODAY , THANK YOU . ' $ 06 IT MAKES ME VERY ANGRY . $ 05 DOES IT , MACEY ? $ 06 THEY ALL WEAR MASKS , THEY 'VE ALL GOT COMFORTABLE POSES . $ 05 DOESN'T IT FIND EVEN A LITTLE , LITTLE ECHO IN YOU ? $ 06 AND THEY SHIFT ABOUT IN PERSONALITIES THAT 'VE GOT NOTHIN G TO DO WITH THEM , AND THEY DRAG AROUND SOME OLD CULT , AND THEY STICK ALIEN FEELINGS ON TO THEMSELVES - $ 05 AFTER ALL , THEY LIKE OUR SHOPS . $ 06 - ALIEN FEELINGS ! $ LIKE THOSE SHABBY SECOND-HAND CLOTHES . $ NOTHING FITS . $ 05 NOTHING ? $ 06 ALL RIGHT , SO THEY 'VE GOT A - A SWEET-NATURED GRUBBINES S , BU THEY 'RE STILL SUSCEPTIBLE TO LOUD-MOUTHED CULTURE AN D POLITICAL FRAUDULENCE . $ THEY 'LL NEVER PRODUCE ANYTHING , NOT THIS TIME ROUND . $ HAVE TO ABANDON HOPE THIS DECADE . $ AN UNCOMFORTABLE LOT . $ IT IRRITATES ME . $ 05 WHAT 'S IRRITATING ABOUT THE YOUNG IS THAT WE 'RE NOT . $ 06 POSSIBLY , POSSIBLY . $ I 'M REACHING THE AGE WHERE I EMPLOY A DESPERATE CHARM IN OR DER TO GAIN THE ATTENTIONS OF ALL THOSE LOVELY YOUNG GIRLS W HOSE SILLY LITTLE MINDS I DESPISE . $ AND THE PRICE I PAY FOR THIS FLATTERY IS TO LISTEN TO THEIR FLAT , DULL THOUGHTS WHICH THEY OFFER WITH THAT SHRILL IMMOD EST MODESTY , YOU KNOW ? - HOW THEY HIDE THEIR AWFUL CONCEIT S BY TRYING TO BE HUMBLE ? $ TERRIBLE AGE , REALLY ; THE AGE WHERE I ONLY WANT TO HURT , GIVE PAIN , MAKE OTHERS SUFFER . $ A SOUR AGE . $ < ( SUDDENLY MANFRED , CARRYING A TRAY OF COFFEE AND TOAST I N ONE HAND , DRAGS IN ROLAND WITH THE OTHER . $ ROLAND IS STRUGGLING TO PUT ON A SHIRT THROUGH WHICH BLOOD I S SEEPING . $ SIMONE STIFLES A SCREAM . $ HE HAS BEEN CUTTING HIS BODY WITH A RAZOR AND RUBBING SALT I NTO IT . ) > $ 02 LOOK WHAT I FOUND THIS BLODDY FOOL DOING . $ < ( ESTHER SITS UP BUT CANNOT SEE WHAT HAS HAPPENED AND MANF RED IMMEDIATELY GOES TO DISTRACT HER . $ THE OTHERS MOVE IN TO ROLAND . ) > $ 07 < ( HISSING WHISPER ) > $ DON'T ! $ LEAVE ME . $ 01 DID I HEAR A SCREAM ? $ 07 AND DON'T TELL HER ANYTHING . $ 05 IT 'S NOTHING , KITTEN . $ I BROKE A GLASS , A LITTLE CUT . $ < ( SIMONE BENDS DOWN PRETENDING TO PICK UP SOMETHING . $ TESSA TAKES A TOWEL AND COVERS ROLAND'S SHOULDERS . $ THEN HE COMES DEEPER INTO THE ROOM AND SITS ON A STOOL , TEN SE FROM HIS SELF-INFLICTED PAIN . ) > $ 01 WHY IS ROLAND IN A TOWEL ? $ ROLAND - WHY ARE YOU IN A TOWEL ? $ 05 HE 'S JUST WASHED HIS HAIR . $ < ( ROLAND PATHETICALLY RUBS HIS HAIR . ) > $ 02 I 'M SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG , KETZEL . $ 01 YOU KNOW , THERE WAS ONCE A DOCTOR WHO DISCOVERED HE HAD LEUKAEMIA BECAUSE ONE DAY HE BOUGHT A NEW MICROSCOPE AND TES TED IT BY LOOKING AT A SAMPLE OF HIS OWN BLOOD . $ 04 < ( TO ROLAND ) > $ WHAT HAVE YOU DONE ? $ 03 RAZOR CUTS , THEY 'RE RAZOR CUTS . $ 02 < ( TO ESTHER ) > $ THE BLOOD-COUNT WAS GOOD LAST WEEK , DON'T FORGET , SO THEY MUST HAVE FOUND THE RIGHT DRUG FOR YOU , MY KITTEN . $ 07 TELL ME SHE 'S NOT SUFFERING . $ 04 WHAT GOOD DO YOU THINK YOU 'RE DOING , FOOL , WHAT GOOD ? $ 01 < ( TO MANFRED ) > $ YOU KNOW HOW I KNEW ? $ ROLAND WAS MAKING LOVE TO ME ONE NIGHT AND ASKED ME , ' WHER E DID YOU GET THOSE BRUISES FROM ? ' $ ' WHAT BRUISES ? ' I ASKED HIM . $ ' THOSE ONES , ' HE SAID , ' THERE , AND THERE , AND THERE A ND THERE , AND THERE ' . $ 07 STOP STARING AT ME . $ GO AWAY . $ SHE 'LL SEE YOU . $ 05 LET ME SPONGE YOU . $ 07 DON'T COME NEAR ME . $ PLEASE . $ PERHAPS , SHE WON'T DIE . $ PLEASE GOD MAKE IT HURT MORE . $ I 'VE NEVER HAD ANY PAIN IN MY LIFE , MAKE IT HURT MORE , IT 'S NOT FAIR TO GIVE PAIN SO UNEVENLY , MAKE IT , MAKE IT . $ 04 FOOL ! $ < ( AS HE TALKS , ROLAND IS RUBBING HIMSELF , AND THUS RUBBI NG THE SALT DEEPER INTO HIS WOUNDS . $ IN THE PETRIFIED SILENCE ESTHER BECOMES SUSPICIOUS . ) > $ 01 WHAT IS IT ? $ WHY IS EVERYONE STANDING AROUND ? $ I KNOW WHAT IT IS . $ IT 'S DESPRESSION TIME AGAIN . $ I 'M DYING AND YOU WANT ME TO MAKE IT EASIER FOR YOU BY PRET ENDING I 'M NOT , ISN'T IT ? $ COME ON NOW , WE 'RE ALL TOO CLEVER FOR DRAMATIC DECEITS LIK E THAT . $ AND WHAT 'S MORE , YOUR SILENCE AND PRETENDING MAKE MY MISER Y WORSE . $ MUCH MUCH WORSE . $ MACEY ! $ I WANT TO GO ON LIVING ! $ ROLAND ! $ I DON'T WANT TO DIE . $ MANFRED , SIMONE , TESSA ! $ ALL OF YOU . $ I-DO-NOT-WANT-TO-DIE . $ < ( PAUSE ) > $ MY GOD , THAT WAS CRUEL OF ME WASN'T IT . $ OH , FORGIVE ME , EVERYONE , DON'T TAKE NOTICE . $ I DIDN'T MEAN TO GIVE YOU PAIN . $ 04 < ( LOW AND FIERCE TO ROLAND ) > $ FOOL , FOOL , FOOL . $ 01 YES , I DID . $ I DID WANT TO GIVE PAIN . $ I SHOULD SAY I DON'T MIND , MAKING IT EASIER FOR YOU , BUT I I DO - I DO - I JUST DO . $ < ( LONG PAUSE ) > $ MANFRED , I WANT TO WALK . $ HELP ME . $ < ( SHE RISES , TALKING , MANFRED HELPING . ) > $ DO YOU KNOW ANYBODY WHO WAS PREPARED TO DIE ? $ DESPITE ALL THE SUFFERING AND THE KNOWLEDGE OF SUFFERING AND MAN 'S INHUMANITY , EVERYONE WANTS TO GO ON LIVING - FOR EV ER AND EVER , GLORIOUSLY . $ < ( SHE TAKES A STICK AND SLOWLY CIRCLES THE ROOM , TOUCHING , REMEMBERING . ) > $ SOME PEOPLE OF COURSE KNOW THAT WHEN THEY 'RE OLD THEY 'LL B ECOME TIRED AND READY TO GO ; OR ELSE THEY GROW TO DESPISE T HEMSELVES SO MUCH FOR NOT BEING WHAT THEY THOUGHT THEY WERE THEY BECOME ANXIOUS AND EAGER TO FADE OUT . $ NOT ME , THOUGH . $ JUST NOT ME . $ I CAN'T TELL YOU HOW MUCH I CHERISH EVERYTHING . $ I KNOW THERE 'S A LOT THAT 'S OBSCENE AND UGLY BUT IT 'S NEV ER BEEN TOO OPPRESSIIVE . $ I 'VE ALWAYS HAD THE CAPACITY NOT TO BE OPPRESSED . $ YOU KNOW THAT , DON'T YOU , ROLAND ? $ IN THE END THERE 'S SUCH SWEETNESS , SUCH JOY IN HIDDEN PLAC ES . $ I WANT TO STAY ON AND NOT MISS ANYTHING . $ I WANT TO STAY WITH YOU , ALL OF YOU , CLOSE AND WARM AND HA PPY . $ WHY SHOULDN'T I WANT THAT ? $ #72 $ AND THINK - ALL THOSE THINGS I HAVEN'T DONE . $ EVERY YEAR THE WORLD FINDS SOMETHING NEW TO OFFER ME : ANOTH ER MAN MAKES MUSIC OR CARVES AN IMPOSSIBLE SHAPE OUT OF THE ROCKS OR SINGS US A POEM . $ SOMEONE IS ALWAYS RISING UP , TAKING WING , AND BEHIND HIM H E PULLS THE REST OF US ; AND I WANT TO BE THERE , FOR EVERY MOVEMENT , EVERY SOUND . $ WHY SHOULD I WANT TO DIE AWAY FROM ALL THAT ? $ < ( ESTHER FALTERS , CRISPIN GOES TO HER . ) > $ THAT 'S MADE ME TIRED AGAIN , THAT HAS . $ < ( ESTHER RETURNS TO HER BED , EXHAUSTED . ) > $ I KEEP WANTING TO TALK AND I KEEP GETTING TIRED . $ MANFRED , TAKE THE PILLOWS AWAY . $ < ( ESTHER SLIDES DOWN INTO HER BED WITH EYES CLOSED . $ SIMONE MOVES TO MANFRED , WHO HAS LEFT THE BED AND IS DESOLA TE AND CANNOT CONTAIN HIS ANGUISH . $ SHE CLASPS HIM IN HER ARMS . ) > $ 04 < ( RUSHES TO CRISPIN ) > $ HOLD ME , CRISPIN , JUST THIS ONCE MORE , I 'LL NOT ASK THEE AGAIN . $ < ( SHE CLASPS HIM BUT HIS RESPONSE BETRAYS RELUCTANCE . $ MACEY , DISTURBED , MOVES AS THOUGH DRAWN , DESPITE HIMSELF , TO ROLAND . $ HE PICKS UP THE SPONGE , UNABLE TO BELIEVE HE COULD EVER BRI NG HIMSELF TO DO IT , AND GENTLY SPONGES ROLAND'S BACK . ) > $ 06 YOU 'RE CHILDREN , YOU 'RE ALL CHILDREN . $ GO AWAY FROM EACH OTHER . $ IT 'S NOT RIGHT , YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU 'RE DOING , ANY OF YOU . $ < SCENE TWO > $ < THREE HOURS HAVE PASSED . $ DINNER HAS BEEN EATEN . $ ESTHER SLEEPS . $ MANFRED LIES ON TOP OF THE BLANKET CLOSE TO HER . $ SIMONE SEWS BUTTONS ON A SHIRT . $ MACEY HAS REMAINED . $ HE IS A LITTLE DRUNK . > $ 06 WHY DON'T I GO ? $ < ( PAUSE ) > $ THERE 'S A GREAT STILLNESS IN YOU , GIRL . $ I 'VE NEVER KNOWN ANYONE TO RADIATE SUCH CALM . $ HOW CAN YOU BE STILL IN A HOUSE LIKE THIS ? $ < ( PAUSE ) > $ WHY DON'T I GO ? $ 05 STAY , MACEY . $ THERE 'S NO SHOP TOMORROW . $ HELP US KILL SUNDAY . $ 06 LOOK AT HIM , MANFRED , THERE . $ HE WON'T LEAVE HER ALONE . $ HE CAN'T HOLD ON FOR HER . $ < ( PAUSE ) > $ I 'VE DRUNK TOO MUCH . $ EVERYONE 'S CRAWLED INTO SOME CORNER OF THE HOUSE AND NO ONE 'S SAID ANYTHING TO ME AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT I 'M SUPPOSED TO DO . $ WHY ARE YOU SO STILL ? $ 05 EVERYONE TELLS ME THAT . $ IT 'S NOT STILLNESS REALLY , IT 'S FEAR . $ A PROTECTIVE SILENCE . $ IF I SAY TOO MUCH OR DO TOO MUCH I 'M ALWAYS AFRAID SOMEONE 'LL STAMP ON ME . $ I FEEL SO RAW MOST OF THE TIME , SUCH A USELESS HUMAN BEING . $ 06 THAT LOT 'D MISS YOU FOR A START . $ CUDDLING THEIR TEMPERS WHEN THEIR ARSES NEED KICKING . $ 05 THAT 'S JUST BECAUSE I 'M SO DESPERATE TO BE WANTED . $ I 'D DO ANYTHING FOR THAT . $ 06 WHY DON'T I GO ? $ I FEEL LIKE I 'VE CAUGHT A DISEASE . $ 05 THEY 'RE LUCKY , THE OTHERS . $ THE SAME ART COLLEGE , SAME WARM NORTHERN CITY , SAME KIND O F LABOURING FATHERS AND TIGHTLIPPED MOTHERS . $ 06 HA ! $ LABOURING FATHERS AND TIGHT-LIPPED MOTHERS . $ I LIKE THAT . $ 05 AND THEY BUILT THE SHOPS FOR THEM . $ 06 ONLY THEY NEVER CAME . $ 05 MY LOT CAME INSTEAD . $ 06 NOT CRISPIN'S DRIVER DAD NOR ROLAND'S RELIGIOUS FLOORSCRU BBING MUM . $ 05 BUT SLIM YOUNG ACTRESSES AND ARCHITECTS' WIVES . $ 06 NOT TESSA'S BRICKLAYING BROTHERS . $ 05 BUT POLITICIANS' DAUGHTERS . $ 06 < ( INDICATING MANFRED AND ESTHER ) > $ NOT EVEN THEIR PARENTS : $ THE LEEDS JEWISH ANARCHISTS' ASSOCIATION - TEN HOURS A DAY S TITCHING LININGS ; NO FURNITURE AND ALL BOOKS . $ 05 AND YOU KNOW , MACEY , IT 'S BROKEN THEIR HEARTS . $ 06 I KNOW IT . $ < ( MANFRED COMES FORWARD . $ HE SEEMS IN A TRANCE . ) > $ 02 HOW STRANGE . $ 06 SO YOU WERE AWAKE THEN ? $ 02 I THINK I 'VE BEEN DREAMING . $ 06 OH , SO YOU WEREN'T AWAKE THEN ? $ 02 BUT I WASN'T ASLEEP . $ 06 SO YOU WERE AWAKE THEN ? $ 02 I 'VE GOT A POWERFUL URGE TO SAY SOMETHING . $ AS THOUGH I 'VE BEEN INSTRUCTED , AS THOUGH I 'VE HAD A VISI ON . $ 06 GOOD . $ NOW I AM GOING . $ 02 BUT I CAN'T BRING MYSELF TO SAY IT . $ IT SOUNDS SO BANAL . $ AND YET LYING THERE , IT DIDN'T SEEM STUPID , IT SEEMED PROF OUND , AND DESPERATELY URGENT . $ EVEN NOW , I DON'T FEEL FULLY AWAKE , I FEEL - DON'T LAUGH - POSSESSED . $ BUT - < ( TURNING TO ESTHER ) > POSSESSED BY HER . $ I WANT TO SAY - < ( HE FINDS IT DIFFICULT . ) > $ - I 'VE GOT TO SAY - WE MUST BE HONEST . $ THAT 'S ALL . $ JUST FOUR WORDS . $ ISN'T THAT DULL ? $ BUT IT WAS A GREAT NEED , ALL OF A SUDDEN ; WE - I MUST BE H ONEST . $ WHO DO I HATE , WHO DO I LOVE , WHAT DO I VALUE , WHAT DO I DESPISE , WHAT PLEASES ME , WHAT OFFENDS ME ? $ ESTHER'S QUESTIONS . $ AND I WANT TO GO AROUND ASKING EVERYBODY ELSE . $ WHAT OFFENDS THEM ? $ THAT 'S WHY REVOLUTIONS HAPPEN , ISN'T IT ? - SOMETHING OFFE NDS . $ MACEY , YOU , WHY ARE YOU A MANAGER ? $ 06 I SHOULD 'VE GONE . $ 02 YOU MANAGE OTHER MEN'S AFFAIRS , YOU DON'T CREATE OR INVE NT OR PRODUCE BUT YOU MANAGE WHAT OTHER MEN PRODUCE . $ WHY ? $ A MAN WHO LOVES WORDS . $ WHY ? $ YOU WON'T ANSWER , WILL YOU . $ 06 SIMONE , MANFRED - GOOD NIGHT TO YOU . $ 02 ESTHER 'S DYING , MACEY . $ WE 'RE GROWING OLD BIT BY BIT . $ EVERY WORD IS A SECOND , PASSING . $ IT 'LL NEVER RETURN , NEVER . $ THAT 'S SO ABSOLUTE . $ I SHALL NEVER BE YOUNG AGAIN . $ I SHALL NEVER LAUGH THE SAME WAY AGAIN . $ I SHALL NEVER LOVE FOR THE FIRST TIME AGAIN , NEVER DISCOVER MY FIRST SIGHT OF THE SEA , NOR CLIMB MY FIRST MOUNTAIN , N OR STRUMBLE ACROSS LITERATURE , NEVER ; I 'LL REACH OUT TO R ECAPTURE OR REMEMBER - BUT THE FIRST ECSTASY OF ALL THINGS ? $ NEVER AGAIN . $ SO , IT 'S IMPORTANT . $ I MUST KNOW . $ WHAT DO I REALLY LOVE ? $ WHAT DO I DARE TO SAY I DESPISE ? $ < ( AS THOUGH TRYING TO REMEMBER SOMETHING HE ONCE TOLD HIMS ELF SECRETLY ) > $ ENGLISHMEN ! $ I DESPISE THE ENGLISHMAN . $ HIS BELIEFS EMBARRASS HIM . $ < ( PAUSE ) > $ IS THAT ALL I WANTED TO SAY ? $ A BIT WEAK , WASN'T IT ? $ < ( TRYING AGAIN ) > $ BELIEF DEMANDS PASSION AND PASSION EXPOSES HIM SO HE BELIEVE S IN NOTHING . $ HE 'S NOT TERRIFIED OF ACTION . $ ACTION , BATTLES , DEFEATS - THEY 'RE EASY FOR HIM . $ NO IT 'S RIDICULE . $ PASSION INVITES RIDICULE ; MEN WITHER FROM THAT . $ LISTEN TO AN ENGLISHMAN TALK , THERE 'S NO REAL SWEETNESS TH ERE , IS THERE ? $ NO SIMPLICITY , ONLY SNEERS . $ THE LOVE SNEER , THE POLITICAL SNEER , THE RELIGIOUS SNEER - SAD . $ < ( PAUSE , SUDDENLY : ) > $ MACEY 'S RIGHT . $ WE MUST SELL THE SHOP , NOT FOLD IT UP . $ SELL IT AND START AGAIN , SOMETHING ELSE . $ I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT . $ SIMONE , CALL TESSA AND CRISPIN , DRAG ROLAND OUT FROM WHERE VER HE 'S CRAWLED - WE 'LL TALK , PLOT . $ IT 'S SO LING SINCE WE 'VE PLOTTED . $ < ( LONG PAUSE ) > $ TERRIBLE , ISN'T IT ? $ I CAN'T BRING MYSELF TO BELIEVE ANY OF THAT . $ LYING THERE IT SOUNDED SO LOGICAL AND RIGHT ; BUT SAYING IT , ACTUALLY USING THE WORDS - NOTHING . $ STALE . $ < ( MANFRED RETURNS TO HIS MODEL , ADDING TO IT UNENTHUSIAST ICALLY . ) > $ 05 MANFRED , CAN I SAY SOMETHING TO YOU - ? $ 02 I DON'T THINK SO , SIMONE ... $ THANKS , BUT - FORGET IT . $ 05 PLAY ME A GAME OF CHESS , MACEY . $ KEEP ME COMPANY . $ 06 I MUST GO . $ 05 I 'M NOT VERY GOOD , YOU CAN BEAT ME . $ 06 WHO DON'T I GO ? $ 05 HERE . $ < ( INDICATES EIGHTEENTH-CENTURY CHAIR . ) > $ THIS ONE . $ 06 NOW . $ 05 BEAUTIFUL CHAIR , ISN'T IT ? $ 06 BEFORE THE OTHERS RETURN . $ 05 I KNOW OTHER PEOPLE'S PAIN IS A NET , BUT STAY - I BEG YO U . $ LOOK , LOOK AT THE CHESSMEN . $ CRISPIN MADE THEM , HE 'S MADE THE KING LOOK LIKE DON QUIXOT E AND SANCHO PANZA IS THE QUEEN TRYING TO PROTECT HIM . $ < ( THEY PLAY . $ WHILE THEY ARE PLAYING , ROLAND ENTERS WITH ' PAPER ' BURNIN IN HIS FINGERS . $ HE BRINGS IT TO AN ASHTRAY AND WATCHES IT BURN . $ MACEY IS INCREDULOUS WHEN HE REALIZES WHAT IT IS . ) > $ 06 THAT 'S MONEY ! $ 07 WATCH . $ < ( TAKES ANOTHER POUND NOTE AND BURNS IT . ) > $ LOOK AT IT . $ WHAT DOES IT MAKE YOU FEEL ? $ < ( MACEY , UNABLE TO CONTROL HIMSELF , STAMPS IT OUT . ) > $ SO ? $ WHAT 'VE YOU SAVED ? $ DOES IT MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER NOW ? $ YOU SHOULD DO IT . $ TAKE A POUND NOTE FROM YOUR WALLET AND BURN IT . $ TRY . $ LOOK , I 'LL DO IT AGAIN . $ WATCH . $ < ( MACEY IS MESMERIZED AS ROLAND BURNS ANOTHER . ) > $ THE LAST TIME I DID THAT WAS IN A RESTAURANT WITH ESTHER . $ SHE CRIED . $ 06 I COULD NEVER DO THAT , NEVER . $ 07 YOU DON'T KNOW , TRY IT . $ 06 I COULD NEVER BRING MY HANDS TO STRIKE THE MATCH . $ PHYSICALLY , I COULDN'T DO IT . $ I KNOW I COULDN'T WITHOUT EVEN TRYING . $ < ( SIMONE REALISING SHE 'S LOST MACEY , REACHES FOR THE SHI RT AND CONTINUES SEWING ON BUTTONS . ) > $ 05 YOU 'RE CHEATING , AREN'T YOU , ROLAND . $ THREE POUND NOTES ? $ #73 $ NOTHING MORE ? $ 07 YOU 'RE RIGHT , OF COURSE . $ SUCH LITTLE GESTURES FOR BIG ANGERS . $ AAAAH ! $ 05 YOUR BACK ? $ 07 HOT . $ HOT AND THROBBING . $ NOW I FEEL I WANT TO BATHE IN ICE . $ IF ONLY I DIDN'T HAVE TO MOVE . $ PAIN NEEDS CONTEMPLATION , IT 'S IRRITATING OTHERWISE . $ SO PETTY - IRRITATION . $ < ( ROLAND TAKES UP HIS YOGA POSITION . ) > $ < ( TESSA AND CRISPIN RETURN . $ HE IS IN A VICIOUS MOOD , WAVING A LETTER AT SIMONE . ) > $ 03 ANOTHER ONE . $ 04 CRISPIN , NO ! $ 03 I 'VE FOUND ANOTHER ONE . $ WHEREVER I GO I FIND THY LETTERS AND THY NOTES WAITING FOR M E , LIKE AN AMBUSH . $ IN T' POCKETS WHEN I REACH FOR CIGARETTES , UNDER T' PILLOWS , ON T' DESK - EVERYWHERE . $ THA EVEN POSTS 'EM TO ME . $ WE LIVE IN T' SAME HOUSE AND THA POSTS ME LETTERS . $ THA LITTLE MAD GIRL , THEE , WHY DAST DAE'T ? $ 05 CRISPIN , PLEASE , I BEG YOU . $ 03 I 'VE TOLD THEE , AGAIN AND AGAIN . $ I 'VE TOLD THEE BUT THA DASTNA LISTEN . $ AN' WHAT IN HELL IS'T THA' DOING THAT FOR ? $ CAN'T I SEW ME OWN BUTTONS ? $ LOOK AT HER ! $ LOOK AT THAT LONG , ANCIENT , GOTHIC FACE . $ FULL OF APOLOGY FOR BELONGING TO HER CLASS . $ DO YOU KNOA HOW SHE SEES US , MACEY ? $ AS WORKING-CLASS HEROES BRINGING LIGHT AND BEAUTY TO OUR MUM S AND BROTHERS . $ STOP LOOKING SO SAD FOR ME . $ 05 ALL RIGHT , I PROMISE , NEVER AGAIN , BUT NO MORE SCENES . $ 03 NAY , DON'T RUN AWAY , I 'M NOT OWER FINISHED YET . $ 05 SO CRUEL . $ YOU 'RE SO CRUEL AND UNSUBTLE . $ 03 LISTEN TO T' WORDS SHE USES . $ ' UNSUBTLE ' . $ WHAT 'S SUBTLETY GOT TO DO WI' ANYTHING ? $ SHE MISUSES WORDS AND EMOTIONS LIKE AN ILLITERATE OFFICE GIR L . $ 05 ALL RIGHT , I 'M HURT , YOU 'VE SUCCEEDED . $ DON'T GO ON . $ 03 LISTEN TO THIS : < ( READING FROM LETTER ) > $ ' OH MY DARLING . $ INSTINCTIVELY I SENSE A CRISIS IN YOUR SOUL . ' $ A CRISIS IN MY SOUL ! $ THAT 'S HOW SUBTLE SHE IS . $ ' O GOD I AM SAD WITH YOU . $ DO NOT EVADE MY GLANCES OF CONCERN . ' $ HOW 'S THAT FOR A NICE FAT PLATITUDE - $ ' DO NOT EVADE MY GLANCES OF CONCERN . ' $ AND I HAVE TO READ IT , EVERY DAY . $ WORDS POUR OUT OF HER , BILIOUSLY , EACH ONE KILLING THE ONE BEFORE . $ ' ... THE MUNDANE , MEDIOCRE , TIMID , DREARY PHRASES OF OUR HEART ... THE DULL , SAFE MINDS ... IF ONLY WE COULD LOOK O UTSIDE AND RAISE THE LEVEL OF PLEASURE TO GREAT STIMULATION AND BEAUTY AND PROGRESS AND SATISFACTION ... ' $ WHAT DOES ANY OF IT MEAN ? $ WHERE DAST FIND TIME TO WRITE THIS GREAT NONSENSE ? $ ' OH MY DEAREST , WHAT THE HELL DOES FRIENDSHIP MEAN ? $ ONE FEELS ALL THE DEPTHS OF PAIN AND DIFFICULTY - AND YOU CH OSE TO INSULT AND IGNORE ME AS IF MY NATURAL INTEREST TO COM MUNICATE AT SUCH TIMES WAS WRONG AND UGLY AND I FEEL LIKE AN OLD JAR OF MARMALADE LEFT TO MILDEW ... ' $ < ( THESE LAST WORDS BRING CRISPIN TO A SLOW HALT AS THE PAI N OF SIMONE'S LETTERS REACHES HIM THROUGH THE LAST POIGNANT IMAGE . $ HE FEELS ASHAMED AND RETREATS FROM HER . $ TESSA GOES TO SIMONE TO COMFORT HER . ) $ 05 FORGIVE ME TESSA . $ I COULDN'T KEEP IT TO MYSELF ALL THE TIME . $ I THOUGHT I COULD GIVE HIM STRENGTH - THAT 'S NOT BAD , IS I T ? $ 04 IT 'S ALL RIGHT , DON'T GO ON . $ I DON'T MIND . $ 05 YOU DO , I KNOW IT . $ I CAN FEEL IT IN THE WAY YOU TOUCH ME . $ < ( TESSA MOVES TO BE NEAR CRISPIN . ) > $ OH , GOD , I FEEL SO REJECTED , I CAN'T BEAR IT . $ THERE 'S SUCH PAIN IN THIS HOUSE , SUCH PAIN . $ < ( THE FRIENDS ARE A TABLEAU OF MISERY AND SILENCE . $ THEY HAVE KNOWN EACH OTHER MOST OF THEIR LIVES . ) > $ 07 I ALWAYS THINK THAT WHILE A GOOD MAN SINS OR ACTS OUT SOM E WRETCHED PIECE OF MISERY OR OFFENDS HIS OWN GENTLENESS , G OD TURNS AWAY AND DOESN'T LOOK AND LEAVES HIM ALONE TO DO IT IN PRIVATE . $ THAT 'S A GOOD WORLD , THAT ONE , WITH A GOOD GOD . $ IT CONSOLES ME , THAT . $ DOESN'T MAKE IT EASIER TO BEAR , BUT IT 'S KINDER . $ < SCENE THREE > $ < SOME HOURS LATER . $ ABOUT 2 A.M. $ MANFRED IS READING AT HIS DESK AND MAKING MORE NOTES . $ ROLAND IS SITTING BESIDE ESTHER'S BED AND READING TO HER FRO M DJUNA BARNES'S NIGHTWOOD . $ SIMONE IS BY NOW DRUNK . $ MACEY SLEEPS IN A CHAIR . $ CRISPIN PLAYS CHESS WITH HIMSELF . $ TESSA SITS AT HIS FEET STRUMMING A GUITAR . > $ 07 ' NORA HAD THE FACE OF ALL PEOPLE WHO LOVE THE PEOPLE - A FACE THAT WOULD BE EVIL WHEN SHE FOUND OUT THAT TO LOVE WIT HOUT CRITICISM IS TO BE BETRAYED . $ NORA ROBBED HERSELF FOR EVERYONE ! INCAPABLE OF GIVING HERSE LF WARNING SHE WAS CONTINUALLY TURNING ABOUT TO FIND HERSELF DIMINISHED . $ WANDERING PEOPLE THE WORLD OVER FOUND HER PROFITABLE IN THAT SHE COULD BE SOLD FOR A PRICE FOR EVER , FOR SHE CARRIED HE R BETRAYAL MONEY IN HER OWN POCKET . $ THOSE WHO LOVE A CITY , IN ITS PROFOUNDEST SENSE , BECOME TH E SHAME OF THAT CITY . ' $ 01 NO MORE , ROLAND . $ MANFRED , HELP ME , I WANT TO WALK OUT INTO THE ROOM . $ 02 NO , KETZEL , STAY RESTING . $ WE 'LL COME TO YOU IF YOU WANT . $ 07 LET HER WALK . $ 01 I WANT TO STRETCH AND MOVE . $ 07 LET HER IF SHE WANTS TO . $ 01 YOU SHOULD BE GLAD , SHOULDN'T HE , ROLAND ? $ 07 SHE WANTS TO STEP OUT AND BE ALIVE . $ COME ON KITTEN , IGNORE HIM . $ < ( EVERYONE RISES TO MOVE THINGS OUT OF HER WAY AS ROLAND A ND MANFRED GUIDE , LIKE A QUEEN , THIS PALE AND DYING BEAUTY TO A STATELY CHAIR . $ SIMONE PLACES A LOW , SOFT STOOL UNDER HER FEET . $ THEY ALL SEEM TO BE PLAY-ACTING AN EXAGGERATION OF A RELATIO NSHIP THEY EACH HAVE WITH HER - SHE IS ADORED BY THEM . ) > $ 01 COME ON , MANFRED , YOU 'RE DYING TO TELL US WHAT YOU 'VE BEEN READING ABOUT . $ WE 'RE ALL READY . $ < ( MANFRED PICKS UP HIS PAPERS AND , WITH MOCK SERIOUSNESS , BEGINS TO READ FROM HIS NOTES AND THOUGH RECOUNTING A THRI LLER . ) > $ 02 YOU THOUGHT THERE WERE ONLY THREE REVOLUTIONS , DIDN'T YO U ? $ THE FRENCH , THE INDUSTRIAL AND THE RUSSIAN , EH ? $ WELL YOU 'RE WRONG , LISTEN TO THIS , I GOT MORE FOR YOU . $ THIS BOOK TELLS THAT IN 1600 A MAN CALLED GILBERT , WHO WAS THE PERSONAL PHYSICIAN TO QUEEN ELIZABETH THE FIRST , WROTE A ' FAMOUS ' BOOK CALLED DE MAGNETE ABOUT AN ELECTROSCOPE WH ICH TURNED OUT TO BE ' INDISPENSABLE TO THE DEVELOPMENT OF P HYSICAL SCIENCE ' ; AND THAT IN 1897 A MAN CALLED THOMPSON D ISCOVERED THAT ELECTRICITY WAS MADE UP OF PARTICLES WHICH HE CALLED ELECTRONS AND THIS DISCOVERY HAD ' THE MOST PROFOUND EFFECT ON PHYSICAL SCIENCE ' . $ REVOLUTION NUMBER ONE . $ AND THEN AN AMERICAN PHYSICIST CALLED MILLIKAN WAS ABLE TO W EIGH THE MASS OF AN ELECTRON AS 1/1835TH OF THE MASS OF A HY DROGEN ATOM AND THUS SHOW THE PARTICLES SMALLER THAN ATOMS E XISTED . $ REVOLUTION NUMBER TWO . $ NOW , TEN YEARS AFTER THE DISCOVERY OF THE ELECTRON , A MAN CALLED RUTHERFORD , IN REVEALING THE NATURE OF RADIOACTIVITY , WAS ABLE TO BREAK UP RADIOACTIVE MATERIALS INTO ALPHA , B ETA AND GAMMA RAYS AND IN MEASURING THE MASS OF AN ALPHA-RAY PARTICLE FOUND IT TO BE 7,000 TIMES THAT OF AN ELECTRON AND THUS SHOWED THAT THE INDESTRUCTIBILITY OF ELEMENTAL ATOMS W AS A MYTH AND SO ' TWENTIETH-CENTURY SCIENCE WAS LAUNCHED ON ITS FATEFUL JOURNEY INTO THE RESTLESS WORLD OF THE ATOM . ' $ THAT WAS THE THIRD REVOLUTION . $ NOW - IT GETS EVEN MORE EXCITING - A MAN CALLED MAX PLANCK D EVELOPED A THEORY CALLED THE QUANTUM THEORY WHICH SAID RAIDI ANT HEAT WAS A DISCONTINUOUS MASS MADE UP OF PARTICLES AND N OT SMOOTH WAVES , AND THAT WAS ' SO REVOLUTIONARY ' THAT ITS IMPLICATIONS WERE NOT FULLY APPRECIATED UNTIL EINSTEIN DREW CONCLUSIONS WHICH THEMSELVES WERE ' REVOLUTIONARY ' BECAUSE EINSTEIN APPLIED PLANCK'S IDEAS WITH ' DEVASTATING RESULTS OF THE PHOTO-ELECTRIC EFFECT AND DISCOVERED THAT LIGHT ITSEL F ALSO CONSISTED OF MULTITUDES OF INDIVIDUAL PULSES AND NOT WAVES ' . $ ' PHYSICISTS WERE INCREDULOUS ' ! $ NUMBERS FOUR AND FIVE THERE . $ BUT THAT WAS NOTHING , BECAUSE HE THEN WENT ON TO THE SIXTH REVOLUTION AND EVOLVED THE THEORY OF RELATIVITY WHICH , AS W E ALL KNOW , HAS THE CENTRAL PRINCIPLE THAT ALL NATURAL PHEN OMENA ARE THE SAME FOR AN OBSERVER MOVING AT ONE SPEED AS TH EY ARE FOR ANOTHER OBSERVER MOVING AT ANOTHER SPEED , AND HI S APPLICATION OF PLANCK'S QUANTUM THEORY TO THE PHOTO-ELECTR IC EFFECT LED TO STILL MORE ' REVOLUTIONS ' IN THE THEORIES OF THE NATURE OF LIGHT AND RADIANT ENERGY . $ WE 'LL SAY NUMBERS SEVEN , EIGHT , NINE , TEN AND ELEVEN ARE LUMPED IN THAT LOT . $ MEANWHILE , BACK IN DENMARK , A DANE CALLED NIEL BOHR APPLIE D THE QUANTUM THEORY TO THE BEHAVIOUR OF ELECTRONS INSIDE AT OMS WHICH LET TO ANOTHER REVOLUTION - NUMBER TWELVE - THIS T IME IN THE THEORIES OF THE STRUCTURE OF MATTER . $ HOWEVER , BOHR WAS UNABLE TO FIND THE SPECTRA FOR COMPLICATE D ATOMS AND SO HE COULDN'T ACCOUNT FOR THE BEHAVIOUR OF EXTR A-NUCLEAR ELECTRONS IN ANY BUT THE SIMPLEST OF ATOMS . $ NOW HIS FAILURE BECAME ANOTHER MAN'S CHALLENGE , AND THE NEX T ' REVOLUTION ' , NUMBER THIRTEEN , WHICH WAS BY A YOUNG GE RMAN PHYSICIST IN 1924 CALLED WERNER HEISENBERG , WHO AT THE TENDER AGE OF TWENTY-THREE SET OUT TO INVENT A MATHEMATICAL THEORY WHICH WOULD ACCOUNT FOR THE SPECTRAL LINES WHICH COU LD BE OBSERVED . $ BUT - ALSO IN 1924 - UNKNOWN TO HEISENBERG WHO WAS COURAGEOU SLY GOING FORWARD - LOUIS DE BROGLIE OF PARIS WAS GOING ALL THE WAY BACK AND PUTTING FORWARD THE IDEA OF A MOWING ELECTR ON AS A TRAIN OF WAIVES , AND NOT , AS PLANCK HAD SAID , A D ISCONTINUOUS MASS OF PARTICLES . $ AND TWO YEARS LATER AN AUSTRIAN PHYSICIST CALLED ERWIN SCHRO DINGER APPLIED THIS IDEA TO THE BEHAVIOUR OF ELECTRONS INSID E THE ATOM AND SHOWED THAT THE PERMISSIBLE ORBITS WERE PRECI SELY THOSE WHICH CONTAINED A WHOLE NUMBER OF COMPLETE WAVES ! $ TWO REVOLUTIONS THERE - NUMBERS FOURTEEN AND FIFTEEN . $ BUT - YOUNG HEISENBERG WAS NOT SATISFIED WITH MERELY A MATHE MATICAL DESCRIPTION OF THE DUAL NATURE OF THE ELECTRON AND S O , IN 1927 , HE INTRODUCED AN EXTRAORDINARY PRINCIPLE WHICH IS CALLED ' THE PRINCIPLE OF UNCERTAINTY ' - VERY WISE ! - WHICH STATES THIS : ' THAT IN THE NATURE OF THINGS IT IS IMP OSSIBLE TO SPECIFY THE EXACT POSITION AND THE EXACT VELOCITY OF AN ELECTRON AT THE SAME INSTANT ; THE UNCERTAINTY IN THE POSITION COULD BE DECREASED ONLY BY INCREASING THE UNCERTAI NTY IN THE SPEED OR VICE-VERSA ; ' AND GUESS WHAT - THE PROD UCT OF TWO UNCERTAINTIES TURNED OUT TO BE A SIMPLE MULTIPLE OF PLANCK'S CONSTANT ! $ ' OF COURSE , HEISENBERG'S UNCERTAINTY PRINCIPLE DOESN'T AFF ECT THE BEHAVIOUR OF THE WORLD IN THE GROSS BUT ITS TRANSFOR MATION OF THE FINE DETAIL FROM AN EXACT AND PREDICTABLE PATT ERN INTO A BLUR OF PROBABILITIES WAS YET ANOTHER MAJOR REVOL UTION IN SCIENTIFIC THOUGHT . ' $ 01 WAIT A MINUTE , WAIT A MINUTE . $ SAY THAT AGAIN - ' BUT ITS TRANSFORMATION OF THE FINE DETAIL FROM AN EXACT AND PREDICTABLE PATTERN INTO A BLUR OF PROBAB ILITIES WAS YET ANOTHER MAJOR REVOLUTION IN SCIENTIFIC THOUG HT ' ? $ 02 PRECISELY . $ 03 REALLY NOW . $ 01 REALLY NOW . $ 02 REVOLUTION NUMBER SIXTEEN . $ BUT THE CLIMAX OF THE MATHEMATICAL IDEAS OF PLANCK , HEISENB ERG , DE BROGLIE AND SCHRODINGER CAME IN A WORK WHICH SYNTHE SIZED IT ALL AND WAS CALLED QUANTUM MECHANICS . $ IT WAS WRITTEN IN 1930 BY A CAMBRIDGE MATHEMATICIAN CALLED P A M DIRAC AND HAD THE UNDERLYING PHILOSOPHY THAT : $ ' NATURAL PROCESSES CAN NEVER BE DESCRIBED COMPLETELY AS HAP PENINGS IN SPACE AND TIME , BECAUSE THE OBSERVATION OF SUCH PROCESSES IS ALSO ONE OF THE EVENTS WHICH THE NATURAL PROCES S UNDERGOES . ' $ IT WAS - THIS AUTHOR SAYS - ' AN EPOCH-MAKING BOOK ' . $ EPOCH-MAKING ! $ AND HAVE WE READ IT ? $ AND ALL THOSE REVOLUTIONS - HAVE WE HEARD ABOUT THEM ? $ AND THAT WAS ONLY UP TO 1930 , THERE 'S ANOTHER FORTY YEARS TO GO ! $ AND MY GOD ! $ WHAT SHALL WE DO ? $ 01 YOU WILL GROW BALD AND BECOME BLIND AND I HAVE NO PATIENC E WITH YOU ANY LONGER . $ 04 < TO A GUITAR ) > $ < FREELY-LIKE AN INPROVISATION > $ WE 'VE BURIED THE WINTER MARRIED THE SPRING , AND NOW WE HAV E A TIME TO PAUSE AND THINK AGAIN AND SING $ WE 'VE PLANTED SEEDS GRANTED BIRDS THEIR SONGS , NOW WE HAVE A TIME TO REST AND RIGHT AGAIN THOSE WRONGS . $ 01 02 03 04 05 06 07 < ( FASTER ) > $ IF THERE 'S A HEART IN YOU , A PART OF YOU THAT CAN RELENT R ELIVE FORGET FORGIVE THEN COVER WOUNDS I 'VE GIVEN YOU FOR W OUNDS ARE WOUNDS AND WORDS ARE WORDS AND NO AMOUNT OF CRYING CRYING COVERS THEM OR HEALS THEM - $ LIVE WITH THEM $ LIVE WITH THEM $ LIVE - WITH THEM . - $ 04 THE LEAVES ARE TURNING , THE EARTH HAS TURNED , AND NOW T HERE IS A TIME FOR BURNING HATES WE LEFT UNBURNED . $ THE YEAR 'S BEGINNING , LONG NIGHTS WILL SOW SOFT SEEDS FOR THOSE SOFTER DAYS THE WRONG WAYS MUST GO . $ 01 02 03 04 05 06 07 IF THERE 'S A HEART IN YOU ... $ 01 SIMONE , STOP DRINKING . $ 05 I 'M NOT DRUNK . $ WHAT DOES IT MATTER ? $ 06 < ( WHO HAS SLOWLY WOKEN UP DURING THE SONG ) > $ JESUS ! WHAT A HEAD I 'VE GOT . $ WHY DON'T YOU ALL GO TO BED ? $ WHAT TIME IS IT ? $ TWO THIRTY IN THE MORNING , LUNACY ! $ ARGH ! $ MY MOUTH 'S LIKE STARCH WASHING DAY . $ 01 SIMONE , GIVE MACEY A LONG COOL DRINK . $ RELAX , MACEY . $ IT 'S THE BEST TIME OF NIGHT . $ I DON'T EVEN FEEL TIRED . $ 06 YOU JUST DON'T LEAVE EACH OTHER ALONE . $ 01 FEEL THIS ROOM , MACEY . $ QUIET , FRIENDLY - IT 'S A GENTLE ROOM , THIS . $ 06 WHY DIDN'T I GO HOME ? $ 01 NOTHING CAN TOUCH US HERE - $ 06 YOU THINK NOT ? $ 01 ISN'T THAT SO , MANFRED ? $ MANFRED ! $ WHAT 'S HE DOING NOW ? $ 02 THE APPEALS , KETZEL - I FORGOT TO SIGN THE CHEQUES . $ 06 THE WHAT ? $ 01 YOU DIDN'T KNOW , DID YOU , MACEY , THAT MANFRED FORCED U S ALL TO AGREE THAT ONE-THIRD OF OUR PROFITS SHOULD GO TO HE LP THE THIRD WORLD ? $ 06 WHAT PROFITS , FOR GOD'S SAKE ? $ AM I IN A MADHOUSE OR SOMETHING ? $ 01 NOT CHARITIES , NOT CANCER RESEARCH OR EX-PRISONERS , NOT HING MARGINAL LIKE THAT . $ REVOLUTION , MACEY : ARMS FOR SOUTH AFRICA , MEDICAL SUPPLIE S FOR NORTH VIETNAM , FUNDS FOR GUERRILLAS IN LATIN AMERICA , BOOKS FOR CUBA . $ 03 IT SHOULD ALL BE MEDICAL SUPPLIES . $ 05 < ( SAVAGELY ) > $ MAKES YOU FEEL MORE HUMANITARIAN , DOESN'T IT ? $ 03 < ( IMPLORING ) > $ SIMONE ! $ 01 THE THIRD WORLD MACEY . $ WE 'RE ALL FRIGHTENED OF IT . $ OUR PARENTS LEFT US A HERITAGE OF COLONIAL AND RACIAL BITTER NESS AND THE THIRD WORLD HATED THEM AND IS GOING TO MAKE US PAY FOR IT , AND SO WE 'RE ALL FRIGHTENED . $ 02 HATRED IS ONLY AN EXPEDIENCY FOR THEM , KETZEL . $ 01 SUCH A GENTLE PERSON , MY BROTHER . $ OTHER PEOPLE'S NEED TO HATE MAKES SUCH SENSE TO HIM . $ HIS REASONS FOR SENDING ARMS NOW IS BECAUSE THEY ARE OPPRESS ED NOW ; MINE ARE , THE SOONER IT 'S DONE THE SOONER REAL ME N CAN TAKE OVER FROM THE RABBLE-ROUSERS . $ RABBLE-ROUSERS FRIGHTEN ME , THEY 'RE ONLY REBELS , NOT REVO LUTIONARIES . $ #75 $ MY BROTHER 'S A REBEL , MACEY , I - AM A REVOLUTIONARY . $ HE TALKS ABOUT LEADERS OF OUR TIME , I SEE A NEED FOR MEN WH O BELONG TO THE END OF A LONG LINE OF ALL TIME . $ HE 'S OBSESSED WITH OUR RESPONSIBILITY TO THE TWENTIETH CENT URY , I 'M OBSESSED WITH OUR RESPONSIBILITY TO AN ACCUMULATI ON OF TWENTY CENTURIES OF SENSIBILITY . $ MY BROTHER IS A REBEL BECAUSE HE HATES THE PAST , I 'M A REV OLUTIONARY BECAUSE I SEE THE PAST AS TOO RICH WITH HUMAN SUF FERING AND ACHIEVEMENT TO BE DISMISSED . $ WOMEN ARE NATURAL REVOLUTIONARIES , AREN'T THEY , SIMONE ? $ MEN ARE ONLY EVER REBELS , THEIR ANGERS ARE NEGATIVE , TINY . $ LIKE STUDENTS , A KIND OF BOYISH ENERGY . $ DO YOU KNOW ONE OF THE REASONS WHY I DESPISE A CAPITALIST SO CIETY ? $ BECAUSE IT PRODUCES MEN WHO ENJOY THE VIOLENCE OF OPPOSING I T . $ 06 STRANGE ENERGIES YOU ALL HAVE . $ HOW CAN YOU CONCERN YOURSELVES WITH SO MUCH ? $ 01 MACEY THINKS I 'M TEASING , MANFRED ; TELL HIM IT 'S ONLY BECAUSE I 'M SO WRETCHEDLY ILL THAT I SOUND LIKE TEASING . $ TELL HIM . $ < ( CLOSES HER EYES . ) > $ < ( CRISPIN BEGINS TO WANDER ROUND THE ROOM , TOUCHING THING S , AS THOUGH DRUGGED . ) > $ 05 CRISPIN ! $ YOU LOOK LIKE A ZOMBIE . $ 03 DON'T SHOUT AT ME , SIMONE . $ NO RETALIATIONS NOW . $ I FEEL RAW , LASS . $ HARSH WORDS IS LIKE BURNS . $ CAN'T TAKE IT . $ PEACE , SIMONE , PAX , PACE , PACE . $ 05 YOU 'RE TENDER WHEN YOU LIKE , AREN'T YOU ? $ 03 SSST . $ NOLITTLE REVENGES , SIMONE , PACE , PACE , PACE . $ 05 < ( MOCKING ) > $ PACE , PACE , PACE ] $ < ( SILENCE ; OUT OF WHICH GROWS A CONTRAPUNTAL DUOLOGUE BET WEEN MANFRED AND CRISPIN . $ MANFRED WHISPERS TO MACEY WHILE CRISPIN TALKS TO THE OTHERS . ) > $ 03 WE 'VE CHOSEN GOOD COLOURS , GENTLE COLOURS . $ DOES THAT MEAN WE 'RE GENTLE , YOU RECKON ? $ 02 < ( COMING DOWN TO CONFIDE IN MACEY ) > $ I KNOW WHAT I DESPISE . $ 03 IT 'S THAT THERE 'S SO MUCH SUFFERING IN THE WORLD THAT I SUDDENLY NEED OTHER KINDS OF KNOWLEDGE , TO SOOTHE IT ALL O UT . $ 02 I KNOW BUT I DAREN'T SAY IT . $ 03 THESE COLOURS SOOTHE ME , THE TOUCH OF VELVET , THOSE PAI NTINGS . $ 02 I 'VE BEEN FEELING IT FOR YEARS , BUT I 'D STUTTER IF I T RIED . $ 03 IS THAT WRONG ? $ TO WANT TO BE SOOTHED ? $ 02 EVEN NOW , AS I 'M TALKING , I 'M TRYING TO BRING MYSELF TO WRAP SOUNDS ROUND THOSE FEELINGS . $ PERHAPS , I THINK , MY TONGUE WILL TRIP UP , ACCIDENTALLY , IN THE MIDDLE OF A SENTENCE ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE . $ < ( PAUSE ) > $ 03 ROLAND - $ 02 HATE THEM - $ 03 KISS ME . $ < ( ROLAND AND CRISPIN KISS EACH OTHER ON THE LIPS AND REMAI N CLASPED DURING MANFRED'S NEXT WORDS . ) > $ 02 < ( WHISPERING ALMOST ) > $ THE WORKING CLASS ! $ HATE THEM ! $ IT 'S COMING , MACEY . $ DESPISE THEM ! $ I CAN HEAR MYSELF , IT 'S COMING . $ HATE THEM ! $ THE WORKING CLASS , MY CLASS , OFFEND ME . $ THEIR COWARDLY ACQUIENSCENCE , THEIR ROTTEN ORDINARINESS - E VERYTHING ABOUT THEM - HATE THEM ! $ THERE ! $ < ( CRISPIN BREAKS AWAY FROM ROLAND TO TAKE TESSA IN HIS ARM S , ROCKING HER , CRADLING HER . $ ROLAND LAYS HIS HEAD IN ESTHER'S LAP . ) > $ 03 THAT 'S WHAT I WANT TO DO - I 'VE JUST REALIZED . $ 02 < ( STILL WHISPERING ) > $ THOSE ENDLESS DREARY EPISODES OF ' ORDINARY LIFE ' ON TELEVI SION . $ 03 I WANT TO CARESS EVERYTHING , TOUCH PEOPLE , COMFORT THEM , MAKE THEM CALM , TELL THEM NOT TO BE WORRIED , THAT IT 'L L BE ALL RIGHT . $ 02 AND THERE SITS THE ORDINARY MAN , WATCHING HIMSELF , PLEA SED AND FAMILIAR , NOT EVEN SPELLBOUND , JUST DUMBLY RECOGNI ZING . $ 03 HAVE YOU LISTENED TO A CAR GO ROUND CORNERS ? $ ISN'T THAT A VIOLENT NOISE ? $ 02 ' EH , ' HE SAYS , ' THAT 'S ME IT IS . $ GLADYS COME AND LOOK , JUST LIKE YOU AND ME AND JACK AND GWE N AND KATE AND BLOODY ORDINARY SAMMY IN THE PUB . $ NO NEED TO CHANGE THEN , IS THERE ? $ WE 'RE GOOD ENOUGH TO MAKE TELLY ABOUT . ' $ 03 I CAN'T BEAR VIOLENCE ANY MORE , OR THE NEWS ABOUT VIOLEN CE : CAR CRASHES , ACCIDENTS BY FIRE , FAMINE , EARTHQUAKE , WAR . $ 02 AND THEN HIS CHILDREN WATCH ; AND SLOWLY THEY BEGIN LIVIN G A COPY , NOT OF THEIR PARENTS' REAL LIFE , BUT THE WATERED -DOWN VERSION OTHER PEOPLE HAVE MADE OF THEIR PARENTS' REAL LIFE ON THE TELLY . $ 03 I CAN'T BEAR THE VIOLENCE OF SPEECH . $ 02 ISN'T THAT EXTRAORDINARY ? $ 03 UGLY PEOPLE WITH UGLY VOICES , VIOLENT IMAGES ON STREET C ORNERS , VIOLENT PREJUDICES - IT BATTERS ME . $ 02 BUT LOOK WHAT HAPPENS NEXT , MACEY . $ 03 ME NERVES - THEY 'RE ALL FRAYED AND BATTERED . $ 02 ALONG COMES A NEW GENERATION OF WRITERS AND THEY BEGIN WR ITING NEW EPISODES ABOUT THE CHILDREN - WHOSE ORDINARINESS H AS DOUBLED BECAUSE ALL THEY 'VE HAD TO LOOK UP TO WAS THE PA LE REFLECTION OF THEIR PARENTS WHICH THE LAST GENERATION OF WRITERS PUT ON THE SCREEN . $ < ( SIMONE , ISOLATED , IS DRAWN TO SIT BY CRISPIN AND TESSA . $ CRISPIN OFFERS THE COMFORT OF HIS ARMS TO HER SO THAT HIS ST RENGHT IS GIVEN TO BOTH WOMEN . ) > $ 03 PEACE , I NEED PEACE . $ 02 AND SOON , MACEY - YOU 'LL SEE , THERE 'LL BE STORIES ABO UT THEIR CHILDREN AND THEIR CHILDREN'S CHILDREN , AND THE CH ARACTERS ON THE SCREEN WILL BECOME MORE AND MORE FEEBLE - $ 03 PEACE AND SILENCE . $ 02 - AND THE MORE BANAL THEIR UTTERANCES THE MORE LIKE REAL LIFE IT 'LL SEEM UNTIL ONE DAY THE SCREEN WILL JUST BE BLANK , AN ELECTRONIC FOG , AND THEY 'LL SIT THERE AND ACCEPT IT AND SAY NOTHING . $ 03 PEACE , SILENCE . $ BLESSED PEACE AND SILENCE . $ 02 WE 'RE ALL POISONED BY THIS HATRED, AREN'T WE ? $ 03 IT 'LL BE ALL RIGHT . $ DON'T WORRY . $ 02 A REAL CANCER , THIS ONE , GROWING FROM FAINT BEGINNINGS , LITTLE SUSPICIONS , ALL THOSE PEOPLE WE LOVED - $ 03 I PROMISE YOU - $ 02 SAD , LIKE DISAPPOINTED LOVERS , ALL THAT LOVE , GANGRENO US , INSIDE US . $ 03 WE MUST JUST BE CALM . $ 02 I TRY TO IGNORE IT , SATRT AFRESH , FIND THE WORLD EXTRAO RDINARY - $ 03 IT 'S TRUE - WE MUST LOVE ONE ANOTHER , OR DIE . $ 02 - BUT I 'VE NO ENERGY , NO APPETITES FOR NEW LOVES . $ 03 BELIEVE ME . $ 02 SOME MEN COULD , SOME MEN COULD STAY PERPLEXED AND WONDER ING ALL THEIR LIFE AND STILL SURVIVE . $ ALL THEIR LIFE - $ 03 IT WILL - $ 02 - AMAZED . $ 03 - EVERYTHING WILL BE ALL RIGHT . $ 02 EACH MOMENT - SURPRISED ! $ 03 I PROMISE YOU . $ 02 AND FINALLY - JOYOUS ! $ JOYOUS TO BE WITNESS TO IT ALL . $ LOVELY MEN THEY WERE , MACEY , NOT SOUR AND THORNY LIKE US , BUT EAGER , CAPABLE - SPLENDID OUTRAGES . $ < ( PAUSE ) > $ TERRIBLE ! $ 03 PEACE - $ 02 WASTE ! $ 03 - AND SILENCE . $ 02 THAT 'S WHAT I REALLY WANTED TO SAY . $ 03 BLESSED PEACE AND SILENCE . $ 02 WE 'RE TOO OLD TO PRETEND . $ < ( SUDDENLY MANFRED STOPS SPEAKING , HIS ATTENTION DRAWN BY ROLAND , WHO IS SLOWLY RISING AWAY FROM ESTHER AS THOUGH HE HAS JUST DISCOVERED SOMETHING DREADFUL . $ ONE BY ONE THEY ALL TURN TO LOOK AT ROLAND AND EACH OF THEM KNOWS - ESTHER IS DEAD . ) > $ < ACT TWO > $ < SCENE ONE > $ < THE SAME ROOM . $ SOME HOURS LATER . $ THE BODY OF ESTHER LIES UNDER SOME BLANKETS . $ ROLAND HAS GATHERED A NUMBER OF GARMENTS BELONGING TO HER AN D LAID THEM AT THE FOOT OF HER BED . $ HE SITS , GAZING AT THE BODY , HOLDING A JUMPER TO HIS FACE . $ SIMONE ENTERS IN A DRESSING GOWN . > $ 05 ROLAND ? $ 07 SHE HAD AN ODOUR , A FAINT DELICAT ODOUR . $ 05 ROLAND ! $ 07 WHEN I 'D COME INTO A ROOM I 'D KNOW SHE WAS THERE . $ HERE , THIS SHEET , THIS BLOUSE , A PULLOVER - WHERE HER BRE ASTS WERE . $ IF I HOLD IT NEAR ME I CAN BE REMINDED . $ 05 YOU OUGHT TO LEAVE THIS ROOM , ROLAND . $ 07 NOT A PERFUME , NOTHING SWEET AND SICKLY , BUT THE SMELL OF MOVEMENT , SKIN THAT HAD WORKED HARD , TO PROTECT VULNERA BLE PARTS . $ #76 $ 05 DO YOU WANT ME TO SPONGE YOU ? $ 07 PLEASE . $ I THINK SO . $ < ( SIMONE UNDOES HIS SHIRT , PULLS IT DOWN GENTLY AND SLOWL Y SPONGES . ) > $ < ( REFERRING TO HIS SELF-IMMOLATION ) > $ HOW CRUDE THAT WAS . $ WHAT A VULGAR GESTURE . $ < ( PAUSE ) > $ YOU 'RE NOT FRIGHTENED OF DYING , ARE YOU ? $ 05 NO . $ 07 WHAT WILL YOU DO NOW ? $ 05 I 'D LIKE TO DO JUST THAT : DIE , GO AWAY AND DIE . $ CREEP INTO THE RIVER OR THE STONES ON THE STREET . $ < ( PAUSE ) > $ GIVE ME A REASON WHY NOT TO , ROLAND . $ < ( SILENCE ) > $ YOU KNOW WHAT DEFEATS ME ? $ MY CAPACITY FOR NOSTALGIA . $ I CAN PROJECT MYSELF FORWARD TWENTY YEARS FROM NOW AND FEEL MYSELF REGRETTING WHAT I 'VE NOT DONE TODAY . $ THAT 'S WHAT MAKES THE PRESENT SO OPPRESSIVE ; IT 'S BAD ENO UGH ACHING FOR THE YEARS GONE BY AND SUFFERING TODAY'S MESS , BUT SOMEHOW I MANAGE TO SUFFER TOMORROW'S REPROACH ALSO , BEFORE IT COMES . $ AND IT ALL DEFEATS ME . $ < ( PAUSE ) > $ JUST WALK OUT , AWAY . $ DO IT NOW . $ I 'D GET SUCH PEACE . $ < ( PAUSE ) > $ GIVE ME A REASON WHY NOT , ROLAND . $ 07 YOU 'RE DRUNK , SIMONE . $ GO BACK TO BED . $ YOU 'VE BEEN DRINKING ALL NIGHT . $ 05 NEVER MIND WHETHER I 'VE BEEN DRINKING . $ GIVE ME A REASON WHY I SHOULDN'T DO IT NOW , GET UP AND WALK AWAY AND NEVER COME BACK . $ YOU CAN'T , CAN YOU ? $ 07 I 'M NOT THE RIGHT PERSON TO ASK . $ 05 YOU CAN'T GIVE ME A REASON , CAN YOU ? $ 07 NO , I CAN'T . $ PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE NOW , SIMONE . $ < ( HE TAKES UP HIS SIMPLE YOGA SITTING POSITION AND CLOSES HIS EYES . ) > $ 05 < ( RISING ) > $ YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT IT 'S LIKE TO TALK AND NOT BE HEARD ; TO OFFER AND NOT BE TAKEN ; TO BE FULL AND NOT NEEDED . $ THERE 'S NOT A CREATURE NEEDS ME , NOT ONE SINGLE ONE . $ THEY 'LL USE ME , DRINK WITH ME , TOLERATE MY COMPANY , BUT NOT NEED - NOT REALLY NEED ME . $ AND I FEEL SO USELESS AND REJECTED , SO DISMISSED . $ YOU 'VE NEVER KNOWN THAT , HAVE YOU ? $ GOD'S CHOSEN ONES YOU LOT ARE , BUT NOT ME . $ LOOK AT MY FACE . $ < ( LOOKING INTO A LONG ' GOTHIC ' MIRROR ) > $ LONG AND GOTHIC YOU SAY , YOU LIKE TELLING ME THAT , FLIRTIN G WITH THE PAST . $ AND MY EYES , FULL OF PLEADING . $ WHO CAN LOOK AT THEM ? $ FULL OF PLEAS AND SIGHS AND EXPECTATIONS - WATERY , DOG-LIKE ; AND LONG LIMBS - DROOPING OVER THIS CHAIR , LIKE A WET DO LL , AWKWARD , EMBARRASSING , WAITING FOR CRUMBS ; AND THEY ALL KNOW IT , AND THEY RETREAT . $ I DON'T BLAME THEM . $ WHO CAN BLAME THEM ? $ AND I WANT TO CREEP AWAY , JUST PICK MYSELF UP AND GO AND NO T COME BACK . $ I 'D LOVE THAT , I 'D SO LOVE THAT . $ < ( SIMONE NOW REGARDS ROLAND IN HIS SITTING POSITION . $ THEN , WITH GREAT CONTEMPT : ) > $ IT 'S ALL NONSENSE , ROLAND . $ LIE IN GREEN FIELDS IF YOU WANT PEACE , CLIMB MOUNTAINS OR W ALK IN FORESTS IF YOU WANT TO MEDITATE . $ YOU WON'T COME TO TERMS WITH DEATH THAT WAY . $ < ( HE IGNORES HER ; SHE WATCHES A FEW SECONDS LONGER THEN L EAVES HIM . $ AFTER SHE HAS GONE HE RELAXES , OPENS HIS EYES , REACHES FOR A GARMENT INTO WHICH HE BURIES HIS FACE , THEN CRUMBLES , M ISERABLY , INTO THE FOLDS COVERING THE DEAD WOMAN . ) > $ < SCENE TWO ) > $ < LATER . $ ROLAND WHIMPERING . > $ 07 TAKE ME WITH YOU . $ I DON'T REALLY WANT TO GO ON . $ I 'M SO TIRED , ESTHER , AND EMPTY . $ PICK ME UP ALSO , IT MUST BE SO EASY . $ < ( SILENCE . $ MACEY ENTERS . $ HE 'S JUST EMERGED FROM TRYING TO SLEEP , AND IS TUCKING HIS SHIRT INTO HIS TROUSERS . ) > $ 06 I CAN'T SLEEP IN THIS HOUSE ; YOU 'RE WHIMPERING ALL NIGH T AND THE OTHERS KEEP MOVING ABOUT . $ WHAT THE HELL GOOD DO YOU THINK YOU 'RE DOING THERE , AND TH OSE CUTS ALL EXPOSED ? $ PUT SOMETHING OVER YOU , YOU BLOODY CHILD , YOU . $ < ( HE OFFERS HIM A BLACK PULLOVER , WHICH ROLAND IGNORES . $ LEAVES HIM TO AGITATEDLY PUT ON HIS TIE IN FRONT OF THE MIRR OR . ) > $ YOU 'RE WEIRD , ALL OF YOU . $ AND UNNATURAL . $ ESTHER WAS THE ONLY HEALTHY ONE OF THE LOT OF YOU . $ JUST LET THE PRESS GET PICTURES OF YOU ALL NOW . $ THAT 'D BE A SCOOP . $ ' THE TRENDMAKERS ' ! $ HUH ! $ THE HABIT OF DISCONTENT WAS ALL YOUR LOT EVER CREATED . $ MAKING THE YOUNG FEEL THAT THE WORLD BELONGED ONLY TO THEM . $ REAL LITTLE CLASS TERRORISTS YOU WERE , INTIMIDATING EVERYON E OVER THE AGE OF TWENTY-FIVE WITH YOUR SWINGING THIS AND YO UR SWINGING THAT . $ YOU NEVER THOUGHT YOU 'D GROW OLD AND DIE . $ EVEN THE POLITICIANS AND THE POETS WERE FRIGHTENED OF YOU , YOU SCREAMED SO LOUDLY ABOUT YOUR SQUALID BACKGROUNDS . $ HERE , LET ME HELP YOU . $ THEY 'LL FESTER , THOSE CUTS . $ YOU MUST BE RACKED WITH PAIN . $ AND PUT A PULLOVER ON , IT 'S COLD . $ < ( HE HELPS THE PATHETICALLY STRUGGLING ROLAND TO PUT ON TH E BLACK PULLOVER , THEN WANDERS MISERABLY ROUND THE ROOM . ) > $ THIS ROOM IS FESTERING . $ WITH GLOOM . $ RESTLESS BLOODY HOUSE . $ < ( STOPS IN FRONT OF MANFRED'S MODEL . ) > $ QUESTIONS ! $ SUDDENLY EVERYONE 'S FULL OF LITTLE HEAVYWEIGHT QUESTIONS . $ ' WHO DO YOU HATE ? $ WHO DO YOU LOVE ? ' $ ' WHY ARE YOU A MANAGER ? ' $ WHO ASKS QUESTIONS AT MY AGE ? $ I KNOW WHY I 'M A MANAGER , WHAT GOOD DOES IT DO ME ? $ < ( FINALLY THE ATMOSPHERE DRAWING AN ANSWER FROM HIM ) > $ BECAUSE EACH MORNING I WAKE UP KNOWING THAT I DON'T LOVE THE WOMAN AT MY SIDE , AND HAVEN'T DONE SO FOR THE LAST FIFTEEN YEARS - $ THAT DEFEATS ME THAT DOES , THAT REALLY DOES DEFEAT ME . $ NO LOVE - NO APPETITES , FOR NOTHING . $ EVEN BEFORE THE DAY BEGINS I 'M ALONE . $ < ( PAUSE ) > $ BUT , I 'VE MANAGED . $ A GOOD FATHER TAUGHT ME DISCIPLINE SO I MANAGED . $ WHY , I ASK MYSELF , WHY EXACTLY DID I RESENT HER ? $ VERY IMPORTANT TO KNOW . $ SHE 'S NOT A BAD WOMAN , VERY GOOD IN FACT , EVEN WISE - ABO UT SIMPLE THINGS - LOYAL , SENSE OF HUMOUR - EVERYONE LOVES HER - EXCEPT ME ; SO WHY ? $ YOU KNOW WHY ? $ BECAUSE I HAD THE CAPACITY TO GROW AND SHE DIDN'T . $ SHE GREW , TRUE , BUT , ONE DAY SHE STOPPED AND I WENT ON . $ SIMPLE ! $ NOT A REASON FOR RESENTMENT , YOU 'D SAY - SUCH A STRONG EMO TION , RESENTMENT . $ TRUE . $ BUT WHAT I HAD TO FORCE MYSELF TO ACCEPT WAS THAT SHE WAS A REFLECTION OF ME : I CHOSE HER . $ AT ONE TIME IN MY LIFE BY ENTIRE CAPACITY TO LOVE HAD FOCUSE D ON HER . $ AND I HAD TO ASK MYSELF , ' COULD I HAVE BEEN CAPABLE OF SUC H SMALL NEEDS ? ' $ SO I RESENT HER BECAUSE SHE MAKES ME DESPISE MYSELF . $ SHE REMINDS ME , EVERY DAY , THAT AT ONE TIME IN MY LIFE I ' D WANTED SUCH SMALL THINGS . $ BUT THE NEXT DISCIPLINE WAS REALLY HARD ; YOU LISTENING , RO LAND ? $ REALLY HARD ! $ IT WAS TO AVOID BUILDING UP THOSE LITTLE HEAVYWEIGHT PHILOSO PHIES ABOUT MAN AND THE WORLD OUT OF MY OWN PERSONAL DISAPPO INTMENTS ; TO AVOID CONFUSING SELF-HATRED WITH HATRED OF ALL MEN ; TO FACE THE FACT THAT THOUGH I 'D FAILED , OTHERS HAD N'T . $ THERE ! $ TWO DISCIPLINES ! $ TWO HONEST CONFESSIONS ! $ BUT WHO 'S SATISFIED ? $ NO ONE IS - ARE THEY ? $ BECAUSE THEY 'RE NO GOOD REALLY , THOSE LITTLE BITS OF HONES T CONFESSION . $ WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THEM , TELL ME WHAT ? $ < ( ROLAND IS TRYING TO CLIMB UP ALONGSIDE ESTHER . ) > $ WHAT-ARE-YOU-DOING-FOR-GOD'S-SAKE ? $ GET AWAY FROM THAT BODY . $ LEAVE IT ALONE ! $ < ( MACEY IN RIGHTEOUS ANGER PULLS ROLAND VIOLENTLY TO THE F LOOR , CAUSING HIM GREAT PAIN . ) > $ I 'M SORRY , SON , I 'M SORRY . $ 07 NO , NO . $ IT 'S GOOD . $ 06 THOSE CUTS , I FORGOT THOSE CUTS . $ 07 LEAVE ME , IT 'S GOOD I SAY . $ 06 I JUST FORGOT THEM . $ I 'M SORRY . $ 07 IT 'S GOOD , I SAY . $ THE PAIN , IT 'S GOOD , IT 'S GOOD , IT 'S GOOD ! $ 06 YOU DISGUST ME . $ < ( LEAVING ) > $ IF YOU IMAGINE YOU CAN OVERCOME DEATH BY CREEPING UP ON IT L IKE THAT YOU 'RE MISTAKEN . $ AND NOT ALL YOUR SILLY SELF-INFLICTED PAIN WILL HELP EITHER . $ ONE DAY YOU 'RE GOING TO DIE AND THAT 'S THAT . $ 07 THERE 'S NO SUCH THING AS DEATH . $ 06 IDIOT ! $ 07 DEATH DOESN'T EXIST . $ 06 MUMBO JUMBO ! $ IDIOT ! $ IDIOT ! $ < ( MACEY LEAVES . $ ROLAND CREEPS BACK TO THE PILE OF GARMENTS AND AGAIN SMELLS THEM , DESPERATELY TRYING TO RECAPTURE THE LIVING ESTHER . ) > $ < SCENE THREE > $ < AN HOUR LATER . $ ROLAND STILL AT THE FOOT OF THE BED . $ TESSA IS AT HIS SIDE , TRYING TO DRAW HIM AWAY . > $ 04 ROLAND , COME ON , SLEEP , LOVELY . $ 07 I 'M REALLY FRIGHTENED NOW , TESSA , OF EVERYTHING . $ I 'M PANICKING . $ ALL THOSE YEARS GONE AND I DON'T LIKE ANY OF THEM AND I 'M P ANICKING . $ 04 YOU 'VE GIVEN YOURSELF TOO MUCH PAIN , LAD . $ DAFT PAIN . $ AND YOU 'RE TIRED . $ SHALL I MAKE YOU A HOT CUP OF TEA ? $ WITHOUT MILK ? $ SOME LEMON AND LOTS OF BRANDY IN IT ? $ WILL THAT BE NICE ? $ 07 THAT TIGHT BRAIN I HAD , ALL WRAPPED UP WITH CONFIDENCE - IT 'S FALLEN APART . $ EVERYTHING I LOVE I DON'T FEEL FOR NOW . $ WHAT DO I DO ? $ 04 DON'T ASK , ROLAND , PLEASE DON'T ASK . $ 07 PANICKING . $ I 'M PANICKING . $ I CAN FEEL IT , TESS . $$ TERROR AND PANIC . $ #77 $ 04 COME AWAY . $ 07 WHERE WILL IT BE ? $ WHEN I DIE , WHERE WILL IT BE ? $ HOW WILL IT HAPPEN ? $ WILL I KNOW I 'M DYING ? $ WILL I LIE THERE KNOWING EVERYTHING AND KNOWING I CAN'T STOP IT ? $ 04 YOU 'RE NOT FAIR , ROLAND . $ IT 'S NOT RIGHT , ALL THIS NOW . $ 07 NOT EVEN WORDS . $ I CAN'T FIND WORDS ; AND WORDS I FIND I DON'T WANT TO USE , AND WORDS I USE I DON'T BELIEVE IN . $ WHAT DO I DO ? $ 04 HUSH . $ 07 TELL ME , TESS . $ I 'VE RUN DOWN . $ LOOK . $ STOPPED . $ THAT WAS MY LAST WORD . $ < ( HE HAS SAID IT , BUT ONLY AFTER HE HAS SAID IT DOES HE R EALIZE IT MUST BE TRUE , FOR NOW HE OPENS HIS MOUTH TO SAY S OMETHING AND CANNOT . $ REAL TERROR AND PANIC SHOW IN HIS EYES NOW . ) > $ 04 ROLAND , STOP IT . $ YOU 'RE FORCING YOURSELF . $ IT 'S NOT HONEST . $ YOU CAN'T STOP TALKING . $ IT 'S NOT POSSIBLE . $ SAY ' TESSA , ' SAY THAT . $ ' TESSA , TESSA , TESSA . ' $ SCREAM THEN . $ ROLAND ! $ < ( ROLAND RELEASES A SAD AND DESPERATE MOAN AND PITCHES HIS FACE INTO TESSA'S LAP . $ SHE ROCKS HIM AND LAMENTS . ) > $ OH , OH , OH ! $ MY POOR BOY . $ IT 'S SO BEWILDERING , ISN'T IT ? $ SO WRETCHED AND BEWILDERING . $ WE 'RE NONE OF US WHAT WE THOUGHT WE WERE . $ IT 'S SO LATE NOW . $ BUT YOU SHOULDN'T PANIC , LOVELY . $ YOU SHOULDN'T UPSET YOURSELF . $ YOU UPSET US WHEN YOU DO THAT AND WE NEED EACH OTHER NOW . $ ROLAND , WE NEED EACH OTHER SO MUCH . $ ROLAND ? $ ROLAND ? $ < ( SHE SHAKES HIM BUT HE IS IN A CATATONIC STATE . $ ABRUPTLY SHE RISES . ) > $ DON'T LET HIS PANIC GET YOU , TESSA , DON'T LET IT REACH INT O YOU NOW . $ < ( SHE WANDERS AROUND THE ROOM IN A FEVER OF DISTRESS - FIN ALLY SHE REACHES FOR HER GUITAR AND SMASHES IT TO PIECES AGA INST THE EIGHTEENTH-CENTURY CHAIR . ) > $ TOO LATE , TESS , TOO LATE . $ < ( CRISPIN COMES TO FIND WHAT THE NOISE IS . ) > $ 03 TESSA ! $ 04 OH , CRISPIN ! $ < ( RELIEVED , SHE RUNS TO CLASP HIM AND FIND COMFORT , BUT HE CANNOT RESPOND . ) > $ AYE , LAD , TOO LATE . $ < ( SHE FLEES . $ CRISPIN COLLECTS THE PIECES OF HER GUITAR AND PLACES THE RUI NS IN A CORNER . $ THEN HE TURNS TO ROLAND . ) > $ 04 THA 'S FRIGHTENED NOW , LAD ? $ EH ? $ REALLY FRIGHTENED NOW . $ AND I CAN'T COMFORT THEE , NOR THEE ME , NOR ANY OF US T' OT HER . $ < ( ROLAND SHRINKS AND CRISPIN KNEELS AND TAKES HIM IN HIS A RMS AND KISSES HIS FACE AS HE WOULD AN UNHAPPY CHILD . ) > $ AYE , I 'LL TAK THEE IN ME ARMS AND GI' THEE KINDNESS BUT TH RE 'S NOWT OF COMFORT IN ME . $ I 'M GONE AND MESSED UP PROPER AN' ALL . $ SHALL I TELL THEE WHAT TO DO , LAD ? $ WILL THAT EASE THY MISERY A BIT ? $ I 'M SO EMBARRASSED AND ASHAMED I CAN ONLY TELL THEE IN OUR DIALECT SO 'S NOT TO SEE THE SERIOUSNESS ON IT , SO 'S IT 'L L COME OUT AS A FUNNY STORY . $ I SLEEP WI' OWLD LADIES , ME . $ I DISCOVERED ONE DAY THEY LIKE ME AND THEY WANT ME AND I CAN GI' MESEN TO THEM . $ OWLD PASSIONS I CAN DRAG FROM THEM , WI' ME LIPS AND ME HAND S AND A LOT OF GENTLENESS . $ THA CANST NOT UNDERSTAND IT , CAN THA ? $ BUT IT 'S LIKE THE GLORY OF RAISING THE DEAD TO SEE RED BLOO D RISE UP IN THEIR FACES AND FIND THEIR SOFT BONES FLUTTER W I' LIFE . $ BUT THEY WANT TO PAY ME AND I TAKES THE MONEY AND THE PLEASU RE ON IT TURNS TO SHAME AND DISGUST AND I SWEAR I 'LL NOT TO UCH THEM AGAIN BUT I DO . $ IN THE SHOP , THEY COME AND THEY LOOK AT ME AND THEY SEEM TO KNOW AND THEIR EYES PLEAD AND I GO AGAIN . $ AND THERE 'S SHAME AND DISGUST AND PLEASURE AND IT 'S ALL CO NSUMED ME . $ UNNATURAL PASSIONS ! $ THEY TAKE OUT GUTS FROM A MAN . $ AYE , I KNOA YOU CAN PRETTIFY IT , GIVE IT JUSTIFICATION , S AY THE TIMES THEY ARE A-CHANGING . $ BUT TIMES NEVER MADE THE SOUL , DID THEY , LAD ? $ EH ? $ THAT 'S A CONSTANT THAT IS , THE SOUL , THROUGH ALL TIMES , AND WHAT OFFENDS IT TODAY OFFENDS IT TOMORROW AN' ALL . $ AND I 'VE DESTROYED MESEN I HAVE ; OFFENDED AND CONFUSED THE SOUL , SEE ? $ DENIED MESEN THE RIGHT OF SAYING OWT TO ANY MAN . $ < ( PAUSE ) > $ IT 'S A GOOD DIALECT , OURS , ENT IT , ROWLAND ? $ WE 'VE NOAN ON US GOT IT STILL BUT IT 'S GOOD , RICHT DIALE CT FROM YOUR SMOKEY NORTH . $ I THINK I 'LL KEEP IT BY ME . $ AYE , THA 'S TAKEN IT BADLY , LAD . $ AND IT 'S NOT OWER YET . $ THE MORNING 'LL BRING ITS TEMPERS , EH ? $ ITS SNAPPING AND SNARLING . $ WE 'LL KICK EACH OTHER BEFORE T' DAYS THROUGH , THAT 'S FOR SURE . $ NAY , THERE 'S NOWT OF COMFORT IN ME . $ < ( ROCKING , ROCKING . $ FADE ) . > $ < SCENE FOUR > $ < MORNING . $ TESSA , MANFRED , CRISPIN , SIMONE , MACEY AND ROLAND ARE RA NGED IN DIFFERENT CORNERS OF THE ROOM : $ SIMONE , MORE ISOLATED FROM THE REST , IS STILL IN HER DRESS ING-GOWN ; ROLAND , HUDDLED AT THE SIDE OF THE BED , IS DRES ED AS IN THE PREVIOUS SCENE ; MACEY HIS SUIT CRUMPLED NOW , IS SUNK IN THE WINGED-BACK ARMCHAIR . $ THE REST ARE DRESSED IN BLACK . $ MANFRED SITS BY HIS DESK . $ CRISPIN FIDDLES WITH HIS TOY BY THE WINDOW . $ TESSA , BACK TO THE AUDIENCE , STANDS HUGGING HERSELF IN THE CORNER OF THE ROOM . $ 04 < ( TURNING ) > $ YOU LOOK AWFUL , SIMONE . $ GO AWAY AND DRESS . $ 05 YES , TESSA . $ < ( SHE LEAVES , SILENCE . ) > $ 04 OH , I FEEL SO OLD THIS YEAR AND NOT VERY WISE . $ 06 WELL , AND WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO NOW ? $ 04 WHAT 'S LEFT WORTH THE WHILE TO DO , MACEY ? $ 06 WHAT A RAG-BAG OF SHABBY DOUBTS YOU LOT ARE . $ 02 DON'T FIGHT . $ 06 YOU THINK YOU 'VE ASKED A QUESTION OF SUCH IMPORTANCE . $ 02 PLEASE . $ 06 BUT IT 'S SO THIN , YOUR QUESTION , SO FEEBLE AND THIN ; SUCH A PUERILE CATECHISM TO MEASURE THE WORLD WITH . $ 02 < ( MOVING TO SIT BY BED ) > $ DON'T FIGHT , PLEASE DON'T FIGHT . $ 06 AND WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO BURY HER ? $ WILL IT BE A JEWISH CEMETERY , MANFRED ? $ < ( SILENCE ) > $ 04 < ( TO CRISPIN ) > $ WE 'VE NO CHILDREN , THAT 'S WHAT IT IS . $ WE 'RE BARREN , WE 'RE ALL BARREN ; BROUGHT FORTH NOTHING , STERILE . $ ' BARREN ' AND ' STERILE ' : BEAUTIFUL WORDS , MACEY . $ TOO FRIGHTENED TO MAKE BABIES , WEREN'T WE ? $ THEY WOULD BLIND US , COULDN'T HAVE THAT , NOT US . $ TOO BEAUTIFUL WE WERE , TOO IMPORTANT TO BE BOUND DOWN . $ DEAD LOVELIES , US . $ < ( PAUSE . $ TAKES TOY FROM CRISPIN ) > $ TOYS YOU MADE . $ FOR OTHER PEOPLE'S KIDS . $ < ( MOVES TO SOMETHING WE HAD NOT NOTICED BEFORE - A ' CRISP IN CREATION ' . ) > $ LOVELY MADNESS . $ THE NEAREST YOU EVER GOT TO PATERNAL INSTINCTS . $ < ( RETURNS IT . ) > $ < ( SIMONE RETURNS . $ SOMEHOW , WITH THE EXCEPTION OF ROLAND AND MACEY , THE POSIT TIONS OF EACH SHIFT INTO A PATTERN WHERE SIMONE IS LEFT ISOL ATED AND THE OTHERS SEEM RANGED AGAINST HER . $ SIMONE SENSES THIS , THE OTHERS NOT . ) > $ 05 SO , THE MISTRESS IS DEAD AND I 'M THE FIRST TO GO . $ < ( THE OTHERS ARE CAUGHT OFF BALANCE WITH THIS PERCEPTION B Y SIMONE OF WHAT THEY ARE FORCED TO REALIZE WAS THEIR SUB-CO NSCIOUS FEELING . ) > $ 04 WHAT DOES THAT NONSENSE MEAN ? $ 05 OH , I DON'T KNOW , A FEELING I HAVE . $ 04 YOU HAVE THE KNACK OF MAKING PEOPLE FEEL WHAT THEY DON'T FEEL SIMPLY BY SUSPECTING THEM OF FEELING IT . $ 03 SHE 'S SUCH A SENSITIVE DELICATE SOUL . $ 05 IT 'S NOT NICE , WHAT YOU 'RE ALL DOING NOW , NOT JUST . $ 03 AND SHE GOES ON AND ON MISUSING WORDS , ' NICE ' ! $ SUCH AN INDIFFERENT WORD : ' NICE ' . $ 05 BUT WHY ARE YOU ALL SO HOSTILE ? $ 03 ANOTHER WORD : ' HOSTILE ' ! $ 05 I 'LL GO THEN . $ 04 OH STOP IT , SIMONE . $ CAN'T YOU UNDERSTAND FOR ONCE ? $ 05 AND CAN'T I BE UNDERSTOOD FOR ONCE ? $ 03 SHE 'S COMPLAINING ABOUT BEING REJECTED NOW . $ 05 TALK TO ME , CRISPIN . $ I 'VE GOT A NAME , I 'M IN THE ROOM . $ 03 IF I TALK TO HER DIRECTLY SHE 'LL THINK I 'M IN LOVE WITH HER . $ 05 YOU 'RE VERY CRUEL , YOU WITH YOUR ' PACE , PACE ' . $ 03 DON'T PROMPT ME . $ 05 I DON'T UNDERSTAND , MACEY . $ 06 NOR ME , NONE OF IT . $ 05 SUDDENLY , THEY 'RE ALL TURNING ON ME . $ 04 AND STOP WHINING . $ 05 I 'M SORRY ABOUT MY VOICE , I CAN'T HELP THAT , BUT IT DO ESN'T ALTER THE MEANING . $ YOU 'RE MISERABLE , ALL RIGHT , SO AM I . $ I HAVEN'T GOT ANY LESS FEELINGS BECAUSE I COME FROM AN UPPER -CLASS FAMILY . $ WE 'VE GOT PAST THAT SURELY , TESSA ? $ 04 WELL WE HAVEN'T , SO THERE ! $ MY FATHER 'S A RAILWAYMAN AND YOURS IS A COMPANY DIRECTOR AN D NOTHING CAN CHANGE THAT . $ 05 < ( HARDLY DARING ) > $ EXCEPT THE FACT THAT YOU 'RE A COMPANY DIRECTOR . $ 06 AH HA ! $ SHE HAS FIGHT . $ THAT STINGS YOU , DOESN'T IT , TESS ! $ 05 OH , MACEY ! $ IT 'S ALL SO UNWORTHY . $ 04 TAKE HER AWAY ! $ GO , SIMONE , FOR GOD'S SAKE GO . $ GO AND MAYBE BY SOME MIRACLE THIS ROOM 'LL GO WITH YOU . $ OUT - GET OUT , OUT - OUT - OUT ! $ < ( LONG PAUSE ) > $ #78 $ OH , SIMONE . $ I 'M SORRY . $ YOU KNOW WE DON'T MEAN IT . $ NONE OF US . $ IT 'S SHOCK ; ESTHER 'S DEAD AND SUDDENLY WE 'RE OLD AND WE 'RE NONE OF US WHAT WE THOUGHT WE WERE AND THAT 'S NOT EASY NOW , IS IT ? $ DON'T CRY , SIMONE . $ I 'VE NEVER BEEN SO CRUEL BEFORE , HAVE I ? $ < ( PAUSE ) > $ OH DEAR MOTHER , WHAT 'S HAPPENED TO ME ? $ IT 'S STUCK TO ME , THIS ANGER , I 'M PRISONER TO IT NOW , M E . $ IT USED TO BE A JOKE FOR YOU ALL , I USED TO GET ANGRY TO MA KE YOU LAUGH , THAT WAS MY ROLE . $ BUT IT 'S NO LAUGH NOW . $ THERE 'S NO GETTING RID OF IT , THIS CROAKING , I 'M BLOTTED WITH IT NOW , FOR KEEPS . $ OH DEAR MOTHER , I WISH I WAS A GIRL AGAIN . $ < ( SILENCE ) > $ 02 < ( AS THOUGH JUST DISCOVERING IT ) > $ THERE IS ABOUT US ALL SUCH A GREAT POVERTY OF INTENTION . $ SUCH A GREAT POVERTY OF INTENTION . $ 03 SIMONE , I 'M SORRY IF I - $ 05 I DON'T CARE FOR THE SOUND OF YOUR VOICE JUST NOW , CRISP IN . $ 03 I WANTED TO APOLOGIZE , THAT 'S ALL ; SAY I 'M SORRY . $ PEACE - I WANT TO MAKE PEACE . $ 05 YOU ONLY WANT TO MAKE PEACE BECAUSE YOU 'VE DISCOVERED A NEED FOR OLD WOMEN AND YOU DISGUST YOURSELF . $ 04 SIMONE ! $ 05 HE WON'T GIVE US HIS FAVOURS BECAUSE HE SELLS THEM . $ 04 SHUT UP ! $ 05 CAN'T BE HARSH TO THE WORLD NOW , CAN YOU ? $ 04 LEAVE HIM ALONE . $ 05 GUILT 'S DRAINED YOUR ENERGY AWAY AND YOU CAN'T ASK THE W ORLD TO BE BETTER THAN YOU ARE . $ 03 I FOUND THIS NEED . $ 05 TENDERNESS ? $ 03 OLD WOMEN , LOVELY SAD OLD WOMEN . $ 05 HA ! YOU NEED TENDERNESS ALL RIGHT . $ 03 I COULD MAKE GIRLS OUT OF THEM . $ 04 YOU REJECTED , SOUR BITCH , YOU . $ WHAT 'VE YOU SAID ? $ 03 BUT IT 'S TRUE . $ HOW CAN YOU TELL THE WORLD HOW TO LIVE WHEN A PASSION LIKE T HAT TAKES YOU UP ? $ 04 HAVE PITY ON YOURSELF , CRISPIN . $ THERE 'S NO SHAME THERE . $ 05 I DIDN'T SAY IT TO GIVE HIM SHAME . $ 04 OH YOU 'VE TAKEN UP A GREAT RESPONSIBILITY NOW , SIMONE . $ A GREAT WEIGHT YOU 'VE TAKEN NOW . $ 05 < ( SOFTER ) > $ I 'LL GIVE YOU TENDERNESS , CRISPIN . $ < ( BOTH TURN AWAY . ) > $ MACEY , HELP ME . $ 06 HOW ? $ HELP YOU ! $ HELP YOU ! $ HOW ? $ 05 THEY STARTED IT , NOT ME . $ I DIDN'T WANT ANY BITTERNESS . $ 06 BURY THE GIRL ! $ WHAT ARE YOU ALL STANDING AROUND FOR ? $ 05 THEY 'RE DISAPPOINTED AND SO THEY START RESENTING ME . $ 06 IS THAT ALL YOU 'VE GOT THE COURAGE FOR ? $ BURY THE GIRL ! $ 05 THEY THINK I 'M SILLY , INSIGNIFICANT - A LITTLE BOURGEOI S GIRL . $ 06 AT A TIME LIKE THIS YOU TURN ON HER . $ YOU NEED A THRASHING , EACH ONE OF YOU . $ ESTHER , BURY ESTHER . $ < ( AN ATTACK IS NOW GATHERING FORCE FROM SIMONE AND MACEY . ) > $ 05 LOOK AT THEM ! $ JUMPED-UP DOWNCAST PROLES ! $ 06 THEY GO AROUND EVOLVING THEIR LITTLE PANACEAS AND THEN GE T ALL DEPRESSED BECAUSE THEIR MUMS AND DADS DIDN'T LISTEN . $ 05 WITH THEIR HALF-DIGESTED BITS OF SELF-TAUGHT EDUCATION . $ 06 THE INNOCENT CHARMS DON'T WORK NOW , DO THEY ? $ 05 THEY 'RE CONFUSING THEMSELVES . $ 06 WHY SHOULD YOUR LABOURING FATHERS AND TIGHT-LIPPED MOTHER S COME TO THE SHOPS ANYWAY ? $ WHAT WOULD THAT 'VE SOLVED ? $ 05 THEY THINK I CAN'T TELL THEM ANYTHING . $ 03 SHE 'S BEEN DRINKING ALL NIGHT . $ 05 BUT I CAN . $ IF THEY 'D LET ME I 'D TELL THEM SUCH THINGS . $ I LOVE THEM ALL SO MUCH , MACEY ; THEY 'VE NEEDED ME AND I ' VE WORKED AND LOVED THEM AND I KNOW WHAT MATTERS . $ 04 WHAT MATTERS , SIMONE ? $ YOU TELL US . $ < ( SIMONE IS CAUGHT OFF BALANCE BUT STRUGGLES FOR A REPLY . $ UNFORTUNATELY HER TERROR OF THEM MAKES HER INAUDIBLE , SHE C ANNOT EVEN LOOK AT THEM AND USES MACEY TO TALK THROUGH . ) > > $ 05 MANFRED SHOULDN'T DESPISE THE WORKING CLASS . $ 04 WHAT WAS THAT ? $ 05 AND CRISPIN SHOULDN'T BE ASHAMED OF HIS PASSION . $ 04 I CAN'T HEAR HER , CAN YOU ? $ 05 AND ROLAND SHOULD STOP HOPPING FROM ONE CULT TO ANOTHER . $ 04 WHAT MATTERS , SIMONE ? $ WE 'RE WAITING . $ 05 JUSTICE . $ 04 WHAT DID SHE SAY ? $ 05 < ( STILL BARELY AUDIBLE ) > $ I SAID ' JUSTICE ' - AND THE PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS . $ 04 BUT WHAT 'S SHE MUMBLING FOR ? $ 06 SHE SAID ' JUSTICE AND THE PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS ' , THAT 'S WHAT SHE SAID . $ 04 < ( INCREDULOUSLY ) > $ BUT WHAT 'S THAT GOT TO DO WITH ANYTHING AT THIS MOMENT ? $ 06 WELL GIVE HER A CHANCE , SHE KNOW WHAT SHE MEANS . $ TELL THEM SIMONE . $ < ( SIMONE IS PETRIFIED BY NOW AND CONTINUES MUMBLING INTO M ACEY AS THOUGH HE MUST TRANSLATE IT TO THEM . $ SHE IS CLUMSY AND TOUCHING AND PATHETIC . ) > $ 05 YOU SEE WHAT I WANT TO TELL THEM IN THAT ORDER MATTERS BE CAUSE - $ 04 WHAT 'S SHE SAYING NOW ? $ 06 SHE 'S SAYING ORDER MATTERS ALSO , NOW QUIET . $ 03 ' ORDER ' ? $ 04 IT 'S BECOMING A NIGHTMARE . $ 06 I BET THAT FRIGHTENED YOU , DIDN'T IT ? $ 03 YES IT DID . $ 06 WELL YOU HAVEN'T EARNED THE RIGHT TO ANARCHY YET . $ YOU 'VE CREATED CONFUSION AND CHAOS AND THE HABIT OF DISCONT ENT AND YOU HAVEN'T EARNED THE RIGHT . $ NOW , WHAT DO YOU WANT TO SAY , SIMONE ? $ 05 TELL THEM ORDER IS NOT UNIFORMITY OR SAMENESS . $ THELL THEM THAT YOU CAN MAKE ORDER OUT OF DIFFERENT THINGS . $ 04 FOR GOD'S SAKE TELL IT TO US , SIMONE . $ MUMBLING AWAY IN THAT OLD GRANNY'S EAR . $ 05 I 'M JUST SAYING THAT ORDER DOESN'T NECESSARILY LEAD TO U NIFORMITY OR SAMENESS . $ 04 YES - $ 05 AND THAT YOU CAN MAKE ORDER OUT OF DIFFERENT THINGS . $ 04 YES - AND SO ? $ 05 WELL DON'T YOU SEE ? $ THERE 'S A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE ORDER THAT CRIPPLES AND TH E ORDER THAT LIBERATES . $ 04 YES - $ 05 AND THAT 'S WHAT WE 'RE LOOKING FOR , ISN'T IT ? $ THE POSSIBILITY OF INFINITE VARIETY ? $ ISN'T THAT - $ 03 NOBLE ? $ 05 YES ! $ NOBLE ! $ SO MANY BLOSSOMINGS . $ NOBLE ! $ AND WHAT 'S MORE - THERE 'S ROOM FOR FAILURE WHEN YOU 'VE GO T ORDER , AND FOR WEAKNESSES AND - AND - $ 03 FOR EVERYMAN'S FALLIBILITY ? $ 05 YES , CRISPIN , I DON'T MIND BEING FED WORDS , DESPITE TH E MANNER IN WHICH THEY 'RE OFFERED . $ EVERYMAN'S FALLIBILITY . $ 03 SHE 'S MAD . $ SHE 'S BEEN DRINKING ALL NIGHT AND SHE 'S MAD . $ 05 OH , CRISPIN , ISN'T THERE ANYTHING IN MY MADNESS TOUCHES YOU ? $ DON'T I DESERVE A LITTLE LOVE FOR SUCH LOVING MADNESS ? $ 06 IT 'S SO TERRIBLE SHE WANTS TO THRASH YOUR GLOOM FROM YOU ? $ 05 DENY ME THAT ALSO ? $ 02 < ( TENDERLY ) > $ NOT NOW , SIMONE , NOT AT THIS MOMENT . $ 05 YES , NOW , MANFRED . $ PLEASE LET ME GO ON , PLEASE . $ 02 IT 'S ALL WRONG TO GO ON LIKE THIS . $ I KNOW YOU 'RE DISTRESSED , YOU WANT TO HELP , BUT IT 'S ALL WRONG . $ 04 AND IRRELEVANT . $ 06 LET HER TALK , TESS . $ 04 BUT SHE 'S TALKING ABOUT ORDER AND NOBILITY AND ESTHER 'S LYING THERE DEAD AND IT 'S ALL IRRELEVANT . $ LOOK AT THIS ROOM , LOOK AT THE LOVELY ORDER WE 'VE CLUTTERE D OURSELVES WITH . $ DEAD AND ANCIENT RICHES , PERFECT ! $ < ( THROWS OVER THE EIGHTEENTH-CENTURY CHAIR . $ SIMONE RUSHES TO PICK IT UP , LOVINGLY . ) > $ I CAN'T BEAR THIS ROOM ANY MORE . $ WE 'VE BUILT TOO MUCH OF OURSELVES INTO IT . $ SINGING , PLOTTING , LOVING - SUCH A LOT TO BE REMEMBERED , ARRANGEMENTS , SMELLS , ODD BARGAINS - ALL THAT SPENT LOVE A ND DEVOTION - TOO RICH , TOO TOO RICH . $ AND NOW WE 'RE TRAPPED , HUNG UP BY IT ALL . $ BITS AND PIECES OF US ALL OVER THE PLACE . $ 05 YOU SHOULD LOVE IT . $ 04 LOVE IT ? $ 05 MEMORY , THE PAST , SIGNS OF HUMAN ACTIVITY - YOU SHOULD CHERISH THEM - I ADORE THIS ROOM . $ 03 MILLIONS STARVING AND WE 'VE SURROUNDED OURSELVES WITH TH EFTS . $ 05 AND WOULD THESE POOR BITS AND PIECES FEED STARVING MILLIO NS ? $ IS THAT THE SOLUTION ? $ MORE LITTLE GESTURES ? $ #80 $ 03 PROPERTY IS THEFT , SIMONE , DON'T YOU KNOW THAT ? $ 05 NONSENSE ! $ 06 NONSENSE ! $ 05 NONSENSE ! $ NONSENSE ! $ 06 THE ACQUISITION OF PROPERTY MAY BE THEFT , BUT ER - $ 05 BUT THE PROPRIETORSHIP OF PERSONAL THINGS ? $ LITTLE PERONAL THINGS ? $ THAT 'S THEFT ? $ WHERE 'S THE LOGIC IN THAT ? $ LOOK AT THIS CHAIR . $ < ( POINTS TO EIGHTEENTH-CENTURY CHAIR . ) > $ IT 'S GOT TO BE SOMEWHERE , IT CAN'T BE EVERYWHERE . $ IS THE MAN WHO WANTS IT AND HAS IT NEAR HIM FOR MOST OF THE TIME A THIEF ? $ DOES WANTING IT NECESSARILY IMPLY THEFT ? ... $ 06 IT 'S NOT HIM WANTING THAT 'S WRONG , IT 'S OTHERS NOT HA VING . $ 05 AFTER ALL , WHAT DOES HIM ' WANTING ' THAT CHAIR MEAN ? $ IT COULD MEAN THAT HE 'S RESPONDING TO BEAUTY . $ 06 THAT 'S BAD ? $ THAT 'S IMMORAL ? $ 05 DON'T YOU SEE THE SILLY CONFUSIONS YOU 'VE GOT YOURSELVES INTO ? $ 04 THE APPLE DOESN'T FALL FAR FROM THE TREE , DOES IT ? $ 03 SHE 'S RETURNED TO HER CLASS . $ 06 AH HA ! $ CLASS ! $ CLASS , CLASS , CLASS ! $ AND WHAT A MESS YOUR LOT MADE OF THAT ISSUE . $ I 'LL HANDLE THIS ONE , SIMONE ! $ THE WORKING CLASS IS DEPRIVED , YOU SAID , OUR SOCIETY IS UN JUST , ' STUNTED GROWTH ' YOU CRIED ; ' PROMISE UNFULFILLED ' . $ AND THEN - NOW LISTEN TO THIS LUNACY , SIMONE - THEN , IN TH E PROCESS OF TRYING TO REDRESS THE BALANCE LOOK WHAT THEY DI D : THEY DEFENDED THOSE VERY SAME STUNTED GROWTHS , CALLED T HEM WORKING-CLASS VALUES AND APPLAUDED THEM ! $ AND THEN THEY ATTACKED BOURGEOIS VALUES AS DECADENT . $ SO TELL ME THIS , YOU IDIOTS , YOU : IF BOURGEOIS VALUES WER E ONLY DECADENT AND WORKING-CLASS VALUES WERE ONLY BEAUTIFUL , THEN WHAT WERE YOU COMPLAINING ABOUT IN THE FIRST PLACE ? $ ONE MINUTE YOU CLAIM THE NEED FOR REVOLUTION BECAUSE INEQUAL ITY HAS LEFT THE PEOPLE IGNORANT AND THE NEXT MINUTE YOU CLA IM YOU WANT NOTHING BUT WHAT THE PEOPLE WANT . $ BUT WHY SHOULD YOU WANT TO DO THAT WHICH AN IGNORANT PEOPLE WANT ? $ WHAT KIND OF LOGIC IS THAT ? $ 05 < ( SWINGING IN ON MACEY'S EXCITEMENT WITH CONFIDENCE NOW ) > . $ THAT CHAIR IS BEAUTIFUL BECAUSE A CRAFTSMAN EXERCISED HIS CR AFTSMANSHIP ON IT . $ IF AN UNJUST SOCIETY ENABLED ONE MAN TO GIVE ANOTHER MAN THE MONEY TO CREATE A BEAUTIFUL CHAIR , DOES THAT MAKE A CHAIR A DECADENT WORK OF CRAFTSMANSHIP ? $ 06 THE TROUBLE WITH THEM IS , SIMONE , < ( ALMOST WHISPERING TO HER ) > THEY 'VE TAUGHT THE PEOPLE TO DESPISE THE WRONG THINGS AND IT 'S BOOMERANGED RIGHT BACK AT THEM . $ THAT 'S WHY THEIR MUMS AND DADS IGNORED THEIR SHOPS . $ 05 < ( PULLING HIM ROUND TO HER , COLLABORATORS IN MOCKING T HEM ) > $ YOU CAN'T COME TO THE PEOPLE AND CLAIM THAT THE THINGS YOU L IKE ARE SUPERIOR TO THE THINGS THEY LIKE , BECAUSE THAT WILL THEN PLACE YOU IN A CLASS THAT YOU 'RE ASKING THEM TO OVERT HROW . $ 06 AND YOU CAN'T PAUSE TO ARGUE SUBTLE DISTINCTIONS LIKE THA T FROM A POLITICAL ROSTRUM - $ 05 OR IN THE MIDDLE OF MOUNTAIN BATTLES - $ 06 OR IN THE MIDDLE OF MOUNTAIN BATTLES - $ 05 THERE 'S NOT ENOUGH TIME - $ 06 THE REVOLUTION 'S GOT TO BE DONE TODAY - $ 05 TO GAIN THE PEOPLE'S FULL SUPPORT THEY MUST PRETEND THE P EOPLE ARE AWARE AND CONSCIOUS OF EVERYTHING - $ 06 WORTHY TO BE LISTENED TO ON ALL MATTERS - $ 05 AND SO THEY FIND THEMSELVES INVOLVED IN COMMITTING ACTS T HEY DESPISE IN ORDER TO PROVE THAT THE PEOPLE ARE WORTHY TO BE LISTENED TO . $ 06 ON ALL MATTERS . $ 05 AND SO YOU DESPISE YOURSELVES . $ FOR IN THIS YOU 'VE COMMITTED THE MOST ' COUNTER-REVOLUTIONA RY ' ACT OF ALL : IN YOUR HASTE TO MOBILIZE SUPPORT YOU 'VE GIVEN BLESSINGS AND APPLAUSE TO THE MOST BIGOTED , THE MOST LOUD-MOUTHED , THE MOST REACTIONARY INSTINCTS IN THE PEOPLE $ < ( PAUSE . $ NO RESPONSE . $ TRIES AGAIN AND THEN MOVES TO SWITCH ON LIGHT OVER ESTHER'S BED . ) > $ BUT SHE WAS A REVOLUTIONARY , A REAL WOMAN AND A REAL REVOLU TIONARY . $ SHE WASN'T OBSESSED WITH BEING RESPONSIBLE TO THE TWENTIETH CENTURY . $ TWENTY CENTURIES OF SENSIBILITY , THE ACCUMULATION OF THAT , THAT 'S WHAT SHE FELT RESPONSIBLE TO . $ THE PAST IS TOO RICH WITH HUMAN SUFFERING AND ACHIEVEMENT TO BE DISMISSED . $ IN THE END THERE 'S SUCH SWEETNESS , SHE SAID , IN HIDDEN PL ACES , SOMEONE IS ALWAYS RISING UP , TAKING WING , AND I WAN T TO BE THERE . $ < ( PAUSE . $ NO RESPONSE . $ TURNING ON THEM ) > $ IT 'S NOT ME WHO 'S CONFUSED , BECAUSE I 'VE ONLY EVER SPOKE N ABOUT WHAT THE WORKING MAN COULD BE AND FELT ANGER THAT HE 'S ABUSED FOR WHAT HE IS . $ < ( PAUSE . $ NO RESPONSE . $ THEN WITH SAD DEFIANCE ) > $ THEN KNOW THIS , I WILL NEITHER WEAR CLOTH CAPS NOR WALK IN RAGS NOR DRESS IN BATTLEDRESS TO PROVE I SHARE HIS CAUSE ; N OR WILL I SHARE HIS TASTES AND CLAIM THE VALUES OF HIS CLASS TO PROVE I STAND FOR LIBERTY AND LOVE AND THE SHARING BETWE EN ALL MEN OF THE GOOD THINGS THIS GOOD EARTH AND MAN'S INGE NUITY CAN GIVE . $ NOW SHOOT ME FOR THAT . $ < ( THE OTHERS NOW SEEM CHASTENED AND MELLOW , THOUGH MORE T OUCHED THAN CONVINCED . ) > $ 06 THEY LISTENED , SIMONE . $ < ( AFTER A LONG SILENCE . ) > $ 02 YES , SIMONE , WE 'VE LISTENED . $ BUT THAT 'S NOT THE HALF OF IT . $ OUR MESS IS MADE OF OTHER THINGS , LIKE FEARS , PRETENSIONS AND DISAPPOINTMENTS . $ IT 'S NOT MADE OF OUR CONFUSION ABOUT WHO SHOULD OWN EIGHTEE NTH-CENTURY CHAIRS , IT 'S MADE OF - THE SILLY THINGS WE 'VE ADDED TO THE WORLD : EASY ACHIEVEMENTS , EPHEMERAL SUCCES . $ IT 'S NOT BECAUSE WE 'VE FORGOTTEN ABOUT INJUSTICES AND THE PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS , IT 'S BECAUSE OF LITTLE DAMAGES WE 'V E DONE TO EACH OTHER AND A TERRIBLE SENSE OF DEFEAT AND TIME PASSING AND APPETITES FADING AND INTELLECT SOFTENING . $ OUR MESS IS NOT ONLY MADE OF ESTHER'S DYING , BUT THE KNOWLE DGE THAT THIS IS A ONCE AND ONLY LIFE MORE THAN HALF OVER , AND IF YOU WANT TO THRASH THE GLOOM FROM US THEN YOU 'D HAVE TO GIVE US BACK YOUTH AND THE STRENGTH NOT TO DESPISE OURSE LVES . $ NOT ALL YOUR HARANGUING US TO ORDER POLITICAL PRIORITIES CAN CLEAR UP SUCH A MESS AS THAT . $ IT CAN'T BE IGNORED , THAT ONE , NOT THAT ONE . $ 05 THAT 'S NOT GOOD ENOUGH ! $ < ( SHE RUNS TO THE DEAD ESTHER AND THROWS BACK COVERS . ) > $ SHE WANTED TO LIVE . $ 07 LEAVE HER ! $ < ( ROLAND SNATCHES THE BODY AND HUGS IT TO HIMSELF . ) > $ 05 < ( DAWNING ON HER ) > $ YOU 'VE BEEN WANTING TO DO THAT ALL THE TIME , HAVEN'T YOU ? $ BUT YOU DIDN'T DARE , DID YOU ? $ < ( A STRANGE SCENE BEGINS ; AT FIRST IT SEEMS HYSTERICAL , THEN MACABRE , BUT FINALLY MUST BECOME THE NATURAL ACTIONS O F PEOPLE TRYING TO FIND THEIR OWN WAY OF BOTH SHOWING THEIR LOVE FOR THE DEAD AND TRYING TO OVERCOME THEIR FEAR OF DEATH , OR AT LEAST TRYING TO COME TO TERMS WITH THE KNOWLEDGE OF DEATH . $ EVERYONE IS ELECTRIFIED , UNCERTAIN , BUT SENSING SIMONE IS ABOUT TO DO SOMETHING OUTRAGEOUS . $ SHE WATCHES THEM AS THOUGH GAUGING HOW FAR SHE SHOULD GO AND THEN , CHEEKILY RATHER THAN HYSTERICALLY , RAISES A DEAD AR M , MAKING IT ' WAVE ' AT THE OTHERS . ) > $ SHE WANTED TO LIVE . $ < ( SHE WAITS TO SEE WHAT EFFECT IT HAS ON THEM . $ ROLAND IS MESMERIZED , GRIPPING ESTHER'S BODY FEARFULLY FROM BEHIND . $ NOW SIMONE MAKES IT APPEAR AS THOUGH HE IS EMBRACING HER AS SHE FORCES AN ARM TO REACH BACK AND PULL DOWN ROLAND'S FACE TO KISS THE NECK . $ THE BODY SEEMS TO HAVE LIFE . ) > $ < ( WHISPERING TENDERLY AND REASSURINGLY TO ROLAND ) > $ SHE WANTED TO LIVE . $ < ( HOW ARE THE OTHERS AFFECTED ? $ SHE WATCHES . $ ROLAND IS SLOWLY AFFECTED AND MAKES THE DEAD HAND BLOW A KIS S . $ AT LAST A FAINT SMILE APPEARS FROM EACH ONE AND THEY SHIFT I N EMBARRASSMENT AND SHYNESS , AS THOUGH CAUGHT DOING AN IMPR OPER ACT . ) > $ < ( REALIZING SHE 'S BROKEN THROUGH ) > $ SHE DID ! $ SHE WANTED TO LIVE . $ < ( SIMONE , ENCOURAGED , PUSHES THEM FURTHER BY RUSHING TO BRING ' ESTHER'S CHAIR ' TO CENTRE OF ROOM , AND FACING IT T OWARDS THE PORTRAIT OF LENIN . $ ROLAND UNDERSTANDS AND CARRIES THE DEAD ESTHER TO SIT IN THE CHAIR . $ MANFRED ALSO UNDERSTANDS AND RUNS FOR A CUSHION TO PROP UP H ER HEAD . $ THE UNDERSTANDING SPREADS AS TESSA HURRIES TO PICK UP A STOO L TO LAY FOR HER FEET . $ NOW ALL STAND BACK TO LOOK , AWED AT WHAT THEY HAVE DONE AND WHAT THEY SEE . $ MANFRED KNEELS AND BENDS ESTHER'S HAND INTO A CLENCHED-FIST SALUTE . $ THE ARM SLOWLY FALLS . $ CRISPIN FINDS A BOOK TO PLACE IN HER HANDS . $ THUS SEATED , THE OTHERS ARE FORCED TO ACCEPT THE PRESENCE O F THE DEAD AMONG THEM . $ SLOWLY THEY RELAX AND ONE BY ONE KISS HER CHEEK , THEN - $ MANFRED RETURNS TO HIS MODEL ; TESSA AND CRISPIN GO TO THE B ED TO FOLD AWAY THE BLANKETS ; ROLAND SITS BY ESTHER AS THOU GH GUARDING HER . $ SIMONE BEGINS TO CLEAR AWAY COFFEE CUPS AND DIRTY ASHTRAYS . $ MACEY WATCHES THEM A WHILE , REACHES FOR HIS JACKET , HALF L EAVES , TURNS TO SMILE AT ROLAND , RETURNS TO KISS ESTHER , LEAVES - AND A SLOW , SLOW FADING AWAY . ) > $