<< *167 N. F. SIMPSON : THE CRESTA RUN . FABER AND FABER , L ONDON . 1966 . FIRST PERFORMANCE : 271065 . CAST : 01 LEONAR D , 02 LILIAN , 03 HARKER , 04 CASK , 05 GELDA , 06 ANDREYEV SKY , 07 VOICE . >> $ #7 $ < ACT ONE > $ < SCENE ONE > $ < THE FAWCETT'S LIVING-ROOM . $ NIGHT . $ WHEN THE CURTAIN GOES UP THE STAGE IS DARK . $ A DOORBELL RINGS THREE TIMES IN QUICK SUCCESSION AND THERE A RE SOUNDS OF MOVEMENT . $ LIGHTS GO UP OUTSIDE THE ROOM , AND WE HEAR SOMEONE GO TO TH E DOOR . > $ 02 < ( OFF ) > $ WHOEVER IS IT , AT THIS TIME ? $ < WE HEAR A BOLT BEING DRAWN AND A CHAIN BEING TAKEN OFF THE DOOR . $ THE LIGHT COMES ON IN THE LIVING-ROOM AS LILIAN FAWCETT ENTE RS , SWITCHING IT ON . $ SHE IS A SLIGHTLY GREYING WOMAN , APPARENTLY IN HER FIFTIES , THOUGH SHE MAY WELL BE ANYTHING UP TO TEN YEARS YOUNGER . $ SHE IS IN A DRESSING-GOWN AND HAS HER HAIR PINNED UP . $ THE LIVING-ROOM HAS TWO DOORS . $ THE ONE THROUGH WHICH LILIAN HAS COME LEADS IN FROM THE FRON T HALL AND STAIRS . $ THE OTHER LEADS OUT TO THE KITCHEN AND THE BACK OF THE HOUSE . $ THERE ARE ONE OR TWO PICTURES WHICH HANG BY CORDS FROM A PIC TURE RAIL . $ TWO ARMCHAIRS , A TABLE WITH TWO CHAIRS AT IT , AN OPEN ROLL -TOP DESK , AND A RATHER UGLY MINIATURE GRANDFATHER CLOCK . $ THE CARPET NEAR THE DOOR TO THE HALL IS SLIGHTLY CURLED UP A T ONE CORNER . $ UNDER IT CAN BE SEEN A LAYER OF NEWSPAPERS WHENEVER SOMEONE KICKS IT UP . > $ 03 < ( OFF ) > $ GOOD EVENING . $ I WONDER IF I COULD TROUBLE YOU , AT THIS RATHER LATE HOUR , MR FAWCETT . $ #8 $ 01 < ( OFF ) > $ OH . $ WELL . $ YES . $ COME IN . $ 03 < ( OFF ) > $ I 'M SORRY TO INCONVENIENCE YOU LIKE THIS BUT ... $ < WE HEAR THE FRONT DOOR CLOSE AND IMMEDIATELY SIR FRANCIS H ARKER IS IN THE ROOM . $ HE IS A BIGGISH MAN IN HIS FIFTIES , WITH A BLUFF , AMIABLE MANNER . $ LEONARD FAWCETT , WHO FOLLOWS HIM INTO THE ROOM , IS WEARING A DRESSING-GOWN , AND BOOTS WHICH HE HAS HASTILY PUT ON AND HAS NOT HAD TIME TO LACE UP PROPERLY . $ HE WEARS THESE OR CARPET SLIPPERS THROUGHOUT . $ HE IS A SLIGHTLY SHORTER MAN THAN LILIAN , AND THOUGH IN HIS LATE FORTIES , LIKE HER HE LOOKS ABOUT TEN YEARS OLDER . $ SIR FRANCIS HARKER ACCIDENTALLY KICKS UP THE CARPET AS HE CO MES IN AND PAUSES TO STRAIGHTEN IT WITH HIS FOOT . > $ 01 I MUST GET THAT TACKED DOWN . $ 03 SORRY TO DISTURB YOU AT THIS HOUR , MRS FAWCETT . $ SOMETHING 'S TURNED UP A LITTLE BIT UNEXPECTEDLY AND I WANTE D TO TRY AND CONTACT EVERYBODY AS SOON AS I COULD . $ 02 OH ... $ 01 THIS IS MR ... $ < ( READING FROM A CARD ) > $ FRANK HARKER ... FROM THE INTELLIGENCE . $ WANTS TO HAVE A WORD WITH US . $ 03 YOU KNOW HOW IT IS IN COUNTER-ESPIONAGE , MRS FAWCETT . $ EVERY SECOND COUNTS ... $ 02 I 'M SURE IT MUST . $ 03 ... AND WE FIND OURSELVES IN NEED OF YOUR CO-OPERATION - IF I COULD POSSIBLY TROUBLE YOU TO THAT EXTENT AT THIS RATHE R LATE HOUR . $ #9 $ 01 ANYTHING WE CAN DO . $ ONLY TOO GLAD TO BE OF ASSISTANCE . $ 03 LET ME PUT YOU IN THE PICTURE AS BRIEFLY AS I CAN . $ WHAT 'S HAPPENED VERY BROADLY IS THIS . $ OVER THE LAST FEW MONTHS ONE OR TWO OF THE BIG LONDON STORES HAVE BEEN RECEIVING ORDERS FOR LARGE QUANTITIES OF FOOD . $ WE 'VE MANAGED TO TRACK DOWN SOME OF THESE ORDERS , AND THEY ARE WITHOUT ANY SHADOW OF DOUBT FOR VERY LARGE QUANTITIES I NDEED . $ SEVENTY-NINE POUNDS OF RICE , EIGHTY-SEVEN TINS OF SARDINES , A GROSS OF POTTED SHRIMPS , SIX HUNDRED AND FORTY-THREE ST ICKS OF CELERY , A LORRY-LOAD OF DRIED APRICOTS , THINGS OF THAT ORDER . $ SULTANAS , CHEESE , BISCUITS . $ EVERYTHING YOU CAN THINK OF IN FACT IN THE WAY OF FOOD - EXC EPT FOR JUST ONE , RATHER SIGNIFICANT , THING . $ 02 < ( SAYING THE FIRST THING THAT COMES INTO HER MIND ) > $ CAVIARE . $ 03 EXACTLY . $ < ( THERE IS A SLIGHT DOUBLE-TAKE HERE AS HE GOES ON WITHOUT PAUSING BUT WITH HIS EYES RATHER CURIOUSLY ON LILIAN ) > $ WHICH , AS YOU KNOW , COMES FROM AN UNNAMED COUNTRY ON THE O THER SIDE OF THE IRON CURTAIN - NAMELY RUSSIA . $ 01 WHAT 'S GOING ON THEN , DO YOU THINK ? $ 03 WELL - WE CAN'T AS YET BE ABSOLUTELY SURE , OF COURSE , B UT WE HAVE REASON TO BELIEVE THAT WE 'RE ON THE TRACK OF SOM ETHING PRETTY BIG , AND THAT 'S WHY WE WANT TO ACT AS QUICKL Y AS WE CAN . $ BECAUSE YOU SEE THESE FOOD ORDERS ARE NOT THE KIND OF THING YOU OR I WOULD HAND OVER THE COUNTER ONCE OR TWICE A WEEK . $ THEY 'RE ON A VAST SCALE , AND ANY STORE RECEIVING ONE OF TH ESE ORDERS WOULD NATURALLY GET TO WORK ON IT RIGHT AWAY . $ #10 $ THEY 'D BRING IN PEOPLE FROM OTHER DEPARTMENTS IF NECESSARY AND WORK THROUGHT THE NIGHT . $ IT WOULD BE A TOP PRIORITY JOB . $ NO STORE WORTH ITS SALT WOULD DREAM OF DOING ANYTHING ELSE . $ IN FACT THEY 'VE HAD SO MANY OF THESE ORDERS OVER THE LAST F EW MONTHS THAT THEY 'RE DEALING WITH THEM LIKE CLOCKWORK . $ NOW . $ AS LONG AS THE ORDERS ARE FOR GROCERIES IN GENERAL , WE 'RE NOT CONCERNED ABOUT IT . $ BUT YOU CAN NO DOUBT IMAGINE WHAT 'S IN THE BACK OF OUR MIND S . $ ALL IT NEEDS IS FOR SOMEONE TO GIVE THE SIGNAL , AND SUDDENL Y WITHOUT WARNING EVERY SINGLE ORDER , INSTEAD OF BEING FOR GROCERIES IN GENERAL , IS GOING TO BE ... $ 01 ... FOR CAVIARE . $ 03 EXACTLY . $ 01 MY GOD ! $ 03 AND OF COURSE THEY 'LL BE CAREFULLY TIMED TO REACH ALL TH E STORES CONCERNED WITHIN A SPLIT SECOND OF EACH OTHER - SO THAT BEFORE ANYONE REALLY TUMBLES TO WHAT 'S HAPPENING THE S TUFF WILL HAVE BEEN PACKED , LOADED ON TO VANS , AND SENT OU T . $ THE VANS WILL BE HIJACKED , AND WHEN THE DRIVERS COME TO , E VERY SINGLE SCRAP OF CAVIARE IN THE COUNTRY NOT IN PRIVATE H ANDS WILL HAVE VANISHED INTO THIN AIR . $ 02 GOOD HEAVENS . $ 03 WE SHALL BE LITERALLY DRAINED OF CAVIARE AT ONE STROKE . $ 01 WHICH MEANS , I SUPPOSE , THAT WE 'D BE COMPLETELY AT THE MERCY OF SOVIET RUSSIA . $ #11 $ 03 WHO 'D OF COURSE BE ABLE TO HOLD US UP TO RANSOM FOR IT . $ 02 YOU MEAN THEY 'D ACTUALLY DO THAT ? $ 03 I 'M QUITE SURE THEY WOULD . $ IF THEY WERE ALLOWED TO GET AWAY WITH IT . $ 01 IN OTHER WORDS WE SHOULD HAVE TO GO TO THEM CAP IN HAND . $ 03 INSTEAD OF NEGOTIATING FOR IT FROM A POSITION OF STRENGTH AS AT PRESENT . $ 02 BUT THEY MUST BE STOPPED . $ 03 WELL , THIS AS A MATTER OF FACT IS WHERE YOU COME INTO TH E PICTURE , MRS FAWCETT . $ AND MR FAWCETT TOO , OF COURSE . $ BECAUSE THE NAMES OF THE STORES INVOLVED ARE KNOWN TO US AT INTELLIGENCE AND SECURITY HEADQUARTERS , AND ARE IN FACT ON A LIST WHICH WE HAVE AND WHICH I NEED HARDLY SAY WOULD BE OF INTENSE INTEREST TO ANYONE WHO COULD GET HOLD OF IT ; AND N OT LEAST TO THE GANG WHO ARE BEHIND THIS COUP . $ IN FACT THE CHANCES ARE THAT THEY 'LL STOP AT NOTHING TO GET POSSESSION OF IT - IF ONLY IN ORDER TO KNOW HOW MUCH WE KNO W . $ I DON'T HAVE TO TELL YOU HOW ABSOLUTELY VITAL IT IS THAT AT ALL COSTS WE PREVENT THIS LIST FALLING INTO THE WRONG HANDS . $ 02 NATURALLY . $ 01 ANY HELP WE CAN GIVE . $ 03 WHAT WE 'VE DONE SO FAR IS THIS . $ WE 'VE CUT THIS LIST INTO SIXTEEN PIECES , AND PLACED EACH O NE OF THESE PIECES IN A SEALED CAPSULE . $ < HE TAKES IT OUT OF HIS POCKET AND SHOWS IT TO THEM > $ 02 THAT 'S SOMETHING I SHOULD NEVER HAVE THOUGHT OF , I MUST SAY . $ #12 $ 01 IT 'S VERY NEAT , CERTAINLY . $ 03 IT IS , ISN'T IT ? $ NOW WHAT WE 'D LIKE - IF YOU FEEL YOU CAN DO THIS - IS FOR Y OU TO TAKE ONE OF THESE SEALED CAPSULES AND SECRETE IT FOR U S IN THE HOLLOW BALLCOCK OF YOUR LAVATORY CISTERN . $ 01 I SEE . $ 03 DO YOU THINK YOU COULD DO THAT ? $ 01 YES . $ WE 'D BE ONLY TOO GLAD TO . $ I 'LL GO UP AND DO IT RIGHT AWAY . $ 02 IT 'S NICE TO KNOW WE CAN BE OF ASSISTANCE . $ 03 WELL , IT IS A VERY GREAT HELP WHEN PEOPLE DO CO-OPERATE IN SUCH A FRIENDLY SPIRIT , AND WE ARE MOST GRATEFUL . $ NOT EVERYONE IS AS READY TO COME FORWARD AND HELP US AS YOU ARE BY A LONG WAY . $ I EXPECT I SHALL HAVE ONE OR TWO DOORS SLAMMED IN MY FACE BE FORE I DISPOSE OF THE REST OF THEM . $ 02 SURELY NOT . $ 03 OH - IT 'S ALL IN THE DAY'S WORK , MRS FAWCETT . $ WE GET USED TO IT . $ 01 < ( CONFIDENTIALLY , AS MAN TO MAN ) > $ I TAKE IT YOU DON'T WANT US TO SHOUT IT FROM THE HOUSETOPS O R ANYTHING THAT WE 'VE GOT TOP SECRET MATERIAL IN OUR CISTER N . $ 03 IT WOULD BE BETTER IF YOU DIDN'T . $ ALL HELPS TO KEEP THE SECURITY PEOPLE HAPPY , IF YOU CAN MAN AGE NOT TO LET ON TO TOO MANY OF YOUR NEIGHBOURS THAT THERE 'S ANYTHING GOING ON OF AN AT ALL HUSH-HUSH KIND . $ 01 QUITE . $ WHAT 'S GOING TO BE THE FOLLOW-UP OF THIS ? $ IF IT 'S NOT AN INDISCREET QUESTION ? $ 03 IT 'S NOT AN INDISCREET QUESTION AT ALL , MR FAWCETT . $ IN FACT I 'M GLAD YOU ASKED ME . $ IT 'S JUST AS WELL NOT TO BE TOO MUCH IN THE DARK , IN CASE ANYTHING GOES WRONG . $ AS IT VERY LIKELY WILL . $ #13 $ 01 WE 'D BETTER BOTH LISTEN TO THIS , LILIAN . $ 03 WHAT WILL HAPPEN IS VERY ROUGHLY THIS . $ THE PRECISE LOCATION OF THIS CAPSULE , AS OF THE OTHER FIFTE EN , WILL BE KNOWN TO ONLY FIVE MEN . $ NO ONE OF THESE FIVE IS KNOWN TO THE OTHER FOUR . $ THEIR FIRST KNOWLEDGE OF ONE ANOTHER'S IDENTITY WILL BE WHEN THEY MEET FOR THE FIRST TIME UNDER THE FLOORBOARDS OF A TYP ICAL SUBURBAN HOUSE SOMEWHERE IN GREATER LONDON . $ 02 I SEE . $ 03 TO WHICH THEY WILL HAVE GONE - OSTENSIBLY AS PEST CONTROL OFFICERS - TO INSPECT THE JOISTS FOR DEATH WATCH BEETLE . $ NOW . $ EACH OF THE FIVE WILL HAVE BROUGHT WITH HIM PART OF A TELEPH ONE HANDSET - EXACTLY SIMILAR TO THE ONE YOU HAVE YOURSELVES OUT THERE IN THE HALL . $ THESE PARTS , WHEN ASSEMBLED UNDER THE FLOORBOARDS , WILL PR OVIDE THE EQUIPMENT NECESSARY FOR MAKING AN ORDINARY TELEPHO NE CALL . $ 01 TO BRIXTON , SAY . $ 03 YES - OR EXETER . $ DUNDEE . $ ANYWHERE . $ 01 QUITE . $ 02 IF THEY CAN MAKE IT TO ONE PLACE , THEY CAN MAKE IT TO AN OTHER . $ 01 YES , I KNOW . $ THAT 'S WHAT I ... $ 03 RIGHT . $ THEY WILL THEN STAGE A MOCK FIGHT . $ UNDER THE FLOORBOARDS . $ ALL BUT ONE WILL GET KNOCKED UNCONSCIOUS , AND THIS ONE WILL PROMPTLY DIAL THE SECRET NUMBER ASSIGNED TO HIM AND ASK FOR BOB . $ THIS WILL BE THE SIGNAL TO THE OPERATOR TO BLOCK ALL OTHER I NCOMING CALLS FOR THIRTY-FIVE SECONDS . $ #14 $ AMONG THE CALLS SO BLOCKED WILL BE ONE FROM A SPECIAL AGENT IN WEST HARTLEPOOL , WHO WILL HAVE BEEN DIALLING CONTINUOUSL Y EVERY TEN SECONDS FOR SIX WEEKS PRIOR TO THIS MOMENT . $ 01 WEST HARTLEPOOL . $ 03 YES . $ NOW , WHEN HE FINDS HIS CALL BLOCKED , HE WILL ACT QUICKLY , IN ACCORDANCE WITH SEALED INSTRUCTIONS WHICH HE WILL HAVE H AD SECRETED ON HIS PERSON SINCE THE PREVIOUS OCTOBER . $ WHAT THESE SEALED INSTRUCTIONS ARE , I CANNOT OF COURSE DIVU LGE , BUT WHAT I CAN TELL YOU IS THAT WITHIN A MATTER OF MIN UTES A VAST FLEET OF PLAIN DELIVERY VANS WILL BE ON ITS WAY , LOADED WITH CAVIARE , TO PREARRANGED RENDEZVOUS IN DIFFERE NT PARTS OF THE COUNTRY , WHERE GOVERNMENT AGENTS WILL BE RE ADY WAITING IN SECRET HIDE-OUTS TO RECEIVE THEM . $ AND SO , OF COURSE , FOIL THE HIJACKERS . $ 02 WELL ... I MUST SAY . $ IT 'S CERTAINLY WELL THOUGHT OUT . $ 01 NOT VERY MUCH LEFT TO CHANCE . $ 03 NO - WE CAN'T AFFORD TO LEAVE THINGS TO CHANCE , MR FAWCE TT . $ < ( HE GETS READY TO GO ) > $ AND NOW I MUST BE OFF TO TRY AND DISPOSE OF THE OTHER FIFTEE N . $ 02 WELL - I HOPE YOU 'LL HAVE EVERY SUCCESS . $ 03 IF EVERYBODY TURNS OUT TO BE AS CO-OPERATIVE AS YOU AND M R FAWCETT , I SHAN'T HAVE MUCH TROUBLE . $ BUT I 'M RATHER AFRAID THAT 'LL BE TOO MUCH TO HOPE FOR . $ DON'T BOTHER TO COME TO THE DOOR . $ I 'LL SEE MYSELF OUT . $ 01 I 'LL GET THIS UP THERE RIGHT AWAY . $ #15 $ 03 GOOD . $ AND THANK YOU VERY MUCH . $ GOOD NIGHT , MRS FAWCETT , MR FAWCETT . $ 01 02 GOOD NIGHT , MR ... $ 01 < ( WITH A GLANCE AT THE CARD ) > $ ... HARKER . $ 02 I 'D BETTER JUST GO TO THE DOOR . $ < WE HEAR THE FRONT DOOR OPEN AND CLOSE , AND THE SOUNDS OF LILIAN LOCKING , BOLTING , AND PUTTING THE CHAIN ON IT . $ WHEN SHE COMES BACK IN , SHE PAUSES , AS FROM LONG HABIT , T O STRAIGHTEN OUT THE CARPET WITH HER FOOT . $ LEONARD IS STILL STANDING WITH THE CAPSULE IN HIS HAND > $ 02 I WONDER WHY HE CHOSE TO COME HERE . $ 01 UNLESS WE 'VE BEEN SINGLED OUT FOR SOME REASON . $ 02 I DO WISH YOU 'D GET THIS TACKED DOWN , LEONARD . $ I KEEP ASKING YOU . $ WE SHALL BREAK OUR NECKS ONE OF THESE DAYS . $ BESIDES LETTING EVERYBODY SEE WHAT NEWSPAPER WE 'VE GOT UNDE R THE CARPET . $ < LEONARD IS STARING HYPNOTIZED AT THE CAPSULE , WHICH HE HA S LYING FLAT ON THE PALM OF HIS HAND , WHILE LILIAN PICKS UP HARKER'S CARD , LOOKS AT IT , AND PROPS IT UP ON THE MANTEL PIECE . > $ 01 NOT VERY IMPRESSIVE , IS IT ? $ REALLY ? $ HARD TO THINK THAT WITHIN TWENTY-FOUR HOURS FROM NOW , WE SH ALL PROBABLY HAVE EVERY LONG-RANGED ROCKET FROM HERE TO VLAD IVOSTOCK TRAINED ON OUR LAVATORY CISTERN . $ 02 YES - WELL , WE 'LL WORRY ABOUT THAT IN THE MORNING . $ < THEY GO OUT AND LEONARD SWITCHES OFF THE LIGHT > $ #16 $ < ACT ONE > $ < SCENE TWO > $ < THE OFFICE . $ MORNING . $ SOME DAYS LATER . $ A LARGE , IMPOSING DOOR AT THE BACK GIVES ON TO SIR FRANCIS HARKER'S ROOM . $ TWO OTHER DOORS CONNECT , ON ONE SIDE WITH AN ADJOINING OFFI CE , AND ON THE OTHER WITH A CORRIDOR . $ THE ROOM IS PANELLED AND CARPETED . $ IN IT IS A LEATHER ARMCHAIR AND A LARGE , MODERATELY IMPOSIN G LEATHER-TOPPED DESK , WHICH IS USED BY CASK . $ ON THE DESK ARE SEVERAL TELEPHONES , AN OFFICE INTERCOM , AN D A TERRIFYING PIECE OF EQUIPMENT IN THE FORM OF A BOX COVER ED WITH LOCKS , SWITCHES , SIGNS , AND WARNING LIGHTS . $ INSIDE IS THE SPECIAL PHONE WHICH CONNECTS WITH THE ' HOT ' LINE TO MOSCOW . $ THERE IS ALSO ON THE DESK A SMALL WOODEN CARD INDEX , WHICH IS TOTALLY OUT OF KEY WITH THE IMPRESSIVENESS OF ITS SURROUN DINGS . $ IN A CORNER OF THE OFFICE IS A TICKER-TAPE MACHINE , OF THE KIND WHICH PAYS OUT AN ENDLESS STRIP OF TAPE AT ONE SIDE , A ND DOWN LEFT IS A SMALL , PERMANENT FILM SLIDE PROJECTOR , W HICH THROWS A PICTURE ON TO A SMALL SCREEN BUILT INTO THE WA LL AT THE BACK . $ GELDA COMES IN THROUGH THE DOOR FROM THE CORRIDOR . $ SHE IS A GIRL OF ABOUT NINETEEN , BRIGHT AND CHIRPY , WITH A N OFF-HAND BUT FRIENDLY MANNER , AND AN ATTRACTIVE APPEARANC E . $ SHE LOOKS ROUND THE ROOM A LITTLE UNCERTAINLY , AND THEN , W ITH A SLIGHT SHRUG , SITS DOWN IN THE ARMCHAIR . $ SHE SITS THERE FOR A TIME , TAKING IN HER SURROUNDINGS , WAI TING , SPINNING ROUND IN THE CHAIR , LOOKING AT HER WATCH . $ THEN SHE GETS UP AND GOES ACROSS TO LOOK AT A MAP . $ ANDREYEVSKY BOLSOVER GRIFFITHS COMES BRISKLY IN FROM THE COR RIDOR . $ HE IS A SMALL , LIVELY , NONDESCRIPT-LOOKING MAN , WHO COULD AND DOES TAKE ON ALMOST ANY APPEARANCE AT WILL , WHEN REQUIR ED TO DO SO FOR PROFESSIONAL PURPOSES . $ HE IS AT PRESENT DRESSED AS AN ONION-SELLER FROM BRITTANY . $ HE IS MAKING FOR THE ADJOINING ROOM , AND IS MORE THAN HALF- WAY ACROSS THE OFFICE BEFORE HE SEES GELDA . > $ #17 $ 06 HALLO . $ WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE ? $ IN THE HOLY OF HOLIES . $ I THOUGHT YOU WERE STILL ACROSS THE ROAD . $ IN INTERNATIONAL SECRETS EXCHANGE CONTROL . $ 05 SO I AM . $ 06 TILL WHEN ? $ 05 OFFICIALLY TILL MONDAY . $ 06 THEN WHAT ? $ 05 CONFIDENTIAL DUTIES . $ 06 REALLY ? $ I SAY . $ 05 IF I LIKE THE SOUND OF IT . $ WHEN I EVENTUALLY FIND OUT WHAT IT IS I 'M EXPECTED TO DO . $ 06 IS THAT WHAT YOU 'RE HERE FOR NOW ? $ 05 HALF PAST NINE , THEY SAID . $ 06 HE 'S PROBABLY IN WITH YOU-KNOW-WHO . $ < GELDA TAKES IN ANDREYEVSKY'S DISGUISE > $ 05 YOU 'RE VERY SECURITY-MINDED , AREN'T YOU ? $ DO YOU ALWAYS COME IN LIKE THAT ? $ 06 SECOND NATURE , REALLY . $ YOU DO IT WITHOUT THINKING . $ < HE GOES THROUGH INTO THE NEXT ROOM , LEAVING THE DOOR OPEN . $ GELDA WANDERS UP TO IT IN ORDER TO TALK THROUGH IT TO HIM . > $ 05 THEN YOU GO THROUGH THERE AND TAKE IT ALL OFF AGAIN . $ 06 THAT 'S THE GENERAL IDEA . $ 05 IT SEEMS AN AWFUL LOT OF HOUHA . $ 06 JUST A PRECAUTION AGAINST BEING SEEN COMING INTO THE BUIL DING AND RECOGNIZED . $ 05 WHY ? $ IS THAT SO TERRIBLE ? $ 06 YOU DON'T WANT EVERYBODY TO KNOW WHO YOU ARE . $ 05 NO , I SUPPOSE NOT . $ #18 $ < SHE GOES AND SITS DOWN > $ I HOPE HE 'S NOT GOING TO BE MUCH LONGER . $ < PAUSE . $ GELDA SURVEYS THE ROOM > $ DO YOU KNOW WHAT I 'D DO ? $ IF I WERE IN CHARGE OF THIS PLACE ? $ TO LIVEN IT UP A BIT ? $ I 'D THROW IT OPEN TO THE PUBLIC . $ < ANDREYEVSKY APPEARS AT THE DOOR . $ HE IS CHANGING OUT OF HIS DISGUISE , AND IS IN HIS VEST > $ 06 < ( AGHAST ) > $ YOU 'D DO WHAT ? $ 05 PUT PEOPLE IN THE PICTURE . $ LET THEM KNOW WHAT 'S GOING ON . $ I MEAN - NOBODY KNOWS ANYTHING ABOUT IT , DO THEY ? $ IT 'S ALL SHROUDED IN MYSTERY . $ 06 IT 'S MEANT TO BE SHROUDED IN MYSTERY ! $ 05 BUT WHAT 'S THE GOOD OF ITS BEING SHROUDED IN MYSTERY , I F THERE 'S NEVER ANYBODY HERE TO SEE IT SHROUDED IN MYSTERY ? $ < ANDREYEVSKY GOES OFF , SHAKING HIS HEAD > $ THEY TALK ABOUT THE GENERAL PUBLIC CO-OPERATING WITH THE GOV ERNMENT TO MAINTAIN A HIGH AND STABLE LEVEL OF NATIONAL SECU RITY AND ALL THAT , BUT THEY DON'T DO ANYTHING TO AROUSE PEO PLE'S INTEREST IN WHAT THEY 'RE DOING , DO THEY ? $ THEY OUGHT TO HAVE A GREAT BIG PUBLICITY DRIVE . $ DON'T YOU THINK THAT 'S A GOOD IDEA ? $ STIR THINGS UP A BIT . $ 06 < ( OFF ) > $ I THINK IT 'LL BE A GOOD IDEA WHEN YOU 'RE PACKED OFF ON TO CONFIDENTIAL DUTIES . $ AND THE SOONER THE BETTER . $ 05 IT 'S NOT AS IF WE GET A LOOK IN AT THE ROYAL TOURNAMENT OR THE ALDERSHOT TATTOO , EVEN . $ DISGUISES DOWN THE AGES . $ FOLLOWED BY THAT MAGNIFICENT SPECTACLE , THE GRAND MUSICAL R IDE OF THE MOUNTED DOUBLES . $ WITH A MASSED CHOIR RENDERING POPULAR NUMBERS BETWEEN ITEMS FROM THE SECRET SERVICE COMMUNITY SONG BOOK . $ #19 $ HOW ABOUT THAT ? $ CULMINATING IN NINE BREATH-TAKING EPISODES FROM THE GREAT SE CRET SERVICE MUTINY OF 1873 . $ WHEN EVERY PLAIN-CLOTHES MAN IN THE SERVICE CAME OUT IN FANC Y DRESS . $ AND THE HEAD OF SECURITY CAME OUT ON TO THE BATTLEMENTS IN A THREE BUTTON DARK GREY WORSTED TWO-PIECE SUIT AND HELD THE ENEMY AT BAY SINGLE-HANDED , TILL THE MUTINY WAS QUELLED AND THE RING-LEADERS HANGED . $ < ANDREYEVSKY APPEARS AT THE DOOR IN CONSIDERABLE ALARM > $ 06 HOW THE HELL DID YOU KNOW ABOUT THAT ? $ 05 IT 'S IN THE HANDBOOK . $ THE VERY STUFF OF LEGEND . $ OR WHATEVER THEY CALL IT . $ DON'T TELL ME YOU HAVEN'T READ YOUR HANDBOOK . $ TUT , TUT . $ 06 I 'VE NEVER HEARD OF A HANDBOOK . $ 05 HANDBOOK FOR NEW ENTRANTS ? $ DIDN'T THEY GIVE YOU ONE WHEN YOU CAME IN ? $ ALL THOSE MANY CENTURIES AGO . $ 06 < ( GOING ) > $ HANDBOOK FOR NEW ENTRANTS ! $ MY GOD . $ WHAT ARE WE COMING TO ? $ 05 HOW DID YOU FIND YOUR WAY AROUND THEN ? $ IN THOSE FAR-OFF DAYS . $ 06 WE JUST HAD TO COME IN AND GET ON WITH IT . $ NOSE THINGS OUT AS BEST WE COULD . $ 05 YES . $ WELL . $ WE 'RE ALL TERRIBLY MOLLYCODDLED NOWADAYS , YOU SEE . $ WE HAVE TO HAVE IT PUT ON A PLATE FOR US . $ NO INITIATIVE OR ANYTHING . $ < GELDA WANDERS OVER TO THE DOOR AND LOOKS IN AT ANDREYEVSKY FOR A FEW MOMENTS . > $ I WONDER WHAT THEY 'LL WANT ME TO DO . $ #20 $ EXACTLY . $ FOR CONFIDENTIAL DUTIES . $ WHATEVER IT IS , IT 'LL BE AN IMPROVEMENT ON WHAT THEY GIVE YOU TO DO OVER THE ROAD . $ SITTING ALL DAY LONG IN FRONT OF THAT DREARY GREAT COMPUTER PRESSING BUTTONS . $ SECRETS IN ON ONE SIDE , SECRETS OUT ON THE OTHER . $ IT 'S NOT MY IDEA OF A JOB IN THE SECRET SERVICE . $ 06 IT 'S VITAL WORK . $ 05 I 'M SURE IT IS . $ IT WOULDN'T BE SO BAD IF I UNDERSTOOD WHAT I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE DOING . $ 06 WELL , UNLESS YOU KNOW HOW MANY OF YOUR OWN SECRETS ARE L EAKING ACROSS TO THE OTHER SIDE , AND HOW MANY OF THEIRS ARE FINDING THEIR WAY BACK TO YOU , THERE 'S NO WAY FOR EITHER SIDE TO KNOW WHAT THE OVERALL BALANCE OF SECRETS IS AT ANY G IVEN TIME . $ 05 I KNOW . $ 06 THAT 'S THE WHOLE PURPOSE OF THE INTERNATIONAL SECRETS EX CHANGE CONTROL . $ THAT 'S WHAT THE DAILY INDEX IS FOR . $ SO THAT IF THE FLOW GETS DANGEROUSLY OUT OF BALANCE , IT CAN BE REGULATED ON THE INTERNATIONAL MARKET . $ IT 'S LIKE ANY OTHER FORM OF EXPORT AND IMPORT . $ 05 I WISH I HAD YOUR JOB . $ ALL THESE OUTSIDE ASSIGNMENTS . $ IMPERSONATING PEOPLE , PASSING MESSAGES , STEALING DOCUMENTS , TRACKING DOWN OTHER AGENTS . $ 06 IT 'S NOT ALL THAT MARVELLOUS . $ 05 IT 'S BETTER THAN BEING COOPED UP IN HERE , ANYWAY . $ < THE DOOR FROM HARKER'S ROOM OPENS AND CASK COMES IN . > $ 04 AH . $ THE VERY MAN . $ I WAS HOPING YOU 'D BE IN . $ #21 $ < HE SEES GELDA ) > $ MISS ... CROMPTON ? $ 05 THAT 'S RIGHT . $ 04 YES , I 'M SORRY TO HAVE KEPT YOU WAITING . $ BUT I SHAN'T KEEP YOU MUCH LONGER . $ I 'LL BE WITH YOU AS SOON AS I 'VE GOT THIS LAST LITTLE BIT OF ROUTINE OUT OF THE WAY . $ 05 OH . $ NOT AT ALL . $ 04 < ( TO ANDREYEVSKY ) > $ NOW . $ HOW DO YOU FEEL LIKE FERRETING SOMETHING OUT FOR US IN BALUC HISTAN ? $ 06 NOT ANOTHER FOOT-SLOGGING JOB , I HOPE . $ TO KHARTOUM AND BACK . $ 04 NO . $ THIS IS SOMETHING NEARER HOME . $ AND IT 'S GOING TO BE A BIT OF A WILD GOOSE CHASE , I 'M AFR AID , BUT IT CAN'T BE HELPED . $ 06 INTERFLORA ? $ 04 THAT 'S RIGHT . $ IT 'S BEGINNING TO LOOK AS IF THEY 'RE ON TO PROJECT NUMBER ONE DEATH TRAP . $ 06 WHICH IS ? $ 04 THE NEW DUAL PURPOSE CONCRETE-MIXER AND COMBINE HARVESTER BEING DEVELOPED BY TOTTENHAM BOROUGH COUNCIL FOR USE UNDER THE NORTH SEA . $ 06 AHA . $ SO MY JOB IS WHAT ? $ 04 YOUR JOB WILL BE TWOFOLD . $ IN THE FIRST PLACE WE WANT YOU TO GET YOURSELF FISHED UP ON THE END OF A LINE OFF THE PIER AT BRIGHTON UNDER COVER OF AN ANGLING COMPETITION , HITCH A LIFT TO DONCASTER IN AN ICE-C REAM VAN , INSERT A SMALL BLACK AND DECKER ROTARY SCYTHE WIT H HEDGE-CLIPPER ATTACHMENT UNDER THE DASHBOARD , AND LIE LOW . $ 06 AND IN THE SECOND PLACE ? $ 04 IN THE SECOND PLACE , AND AT THE SAME TIME , WE WANT YOU TO IMPERSONATE THREE SIX-FOOT GUARDSMEN IN QUICK SUCCESSION WHILE PLAYING THE BAGPIPES ON THE BACK OF A MOTOR-BIKE . $ #22 $ 06 BAGPIPES ? $ ON THE BACK OF A MOTOR-BIKE ? $ NO , THANK YOU . $ I 'VE HAD ALL THE BAGPIPES I WANT . $ IN SWANSEA . $ 04 YES - WELL , I 'M NOT PUSHING THEM , IF YOU 'D SOONER CHA NCE YOUR ARM WITH SOMETHING ELSE . $ WHAT DO YOU SUGGEST ? $ 06 IF IT WERE LEFT TO ME , I THINK I 'D AS SOON SETTLE FOR A 1923 SHERATON-TYPE TWIN-ACTION HARPSICHORD , FRANKLY . $ 04 THE GOOD OLD STANDBY . $ 06 PEOPLE SNEER AT IT , BUT IT 'S RELIABLE , AND IT 'S EASY TO DITCH IF YOU HAVE TO . $ 04 TRUE ENOUGH . $ OH , AND ... I DON'T SUPPOSE YOU 'LL FIND YOURSELF WITH TIM E ON YOUR HANDS , BUT IN CASE YOU DO YOU MIGHT LIKE TO KNOW THAT WE 'VE GOT SOMEONE ON EITHER SIDE OF THE ROAD FROM TORQ UAY TO HEADINGLEY WITH FOUR SPARE SETS OF WINSOR AND NEWTON' S NUMBER NINE LINO-CUT TOOLS . $ 06 GOOD . $ YOU SEEM TO HAVE THOUGHT OF EVERYTHING . $ 04 WE LIKE TO TAKE AS FEW CHANCES AS POSSIBLE . $ 06 VERY CONSIDERATE OF YOU . $ 04 ESPECIALLY WHEN WE 'RE SENDING ONE OF OUR BEST MEN ON A F OOL'S ERRAND . $ 06 SO WHAT DO I DO NOW ? $ GO ON DOWN TO BRIEFING , I SUPPOSE . $ 04 YES . $ I 'LL RING THROUGH NOW TO LET THEM KNOW YOU 'RE ON YOUR WAY . $ #23 $ 06 < ( GOING ) > $ RIGHT . $ 04 OH - AND GOOD LUCK . $ 06 THANKS , AND LET 'S HOPE WE END UP THIS TIME WITH SOMETHI NG MORE THAN THE PLANS OF THE VICTORIA EMBANKMENT . $ < HE GOES TO THE DOOR AS CASK PICKS UP HIS PHONE > $ 04 NO CALL FOR CYNICISM . $ < HE GOES OUT > $ < ( INTO PHONE ) > $ ' HARRY ? ... CASK HERE . $ I 'VE JUST SENT SOMEONE DOWN TO YOU . $ ANDREYEVSKY BOLSOVER GRIFFITHS , TO BE EXACT ... $ YES ... $ IDEAL FOR IT , I SHOULD HAVE THOUGHT . $ ... RIGHT . $ SPLENDID . $ NOW . $ MISS CROMPTON . $ < GELDA SITS OPPOSITE CASK > $ THE REASON I ASKED YOU TO COME ACROSS AND SEE ME WAS SO THAT I COULD TRY AND GIVE YOU SOME IDEA OF WHAT THE CONFIDENTIAL DUTIES ARE WE WANTED YOU TO UNDERTAKE . $ I THINK YOU OUGHT TO KNOW EXACTLY WHAT 'S INVOLVED BEFORE YO U COME TO A DECISION . $ IN THE FIRST PLACE , OF COURSE , YOU WON'T BE USING YOUR OWN NAME . $ FOR PROFESSIONAL PURPOSES AND WHILE YOU 'RE ON DUTY , WE SHO ULD WANT YOU TO BE KNOWN SIMPLY AS GELDA . $ THIS IS THE NAME YOU WOULD BE USING TO CLIENTS , AND THAT CL IENTS WOULD BE USING TO YOU . $ YOU 'LL FIND THAT IN THE MAIN YOUR CLIENTS WILL BE DRAWN FRO M EMBASSY CIRCLES , CHIEFLY FOREIGN EMBASSIES , AND FROM QUI TE A NUMBER OF DIFFERENT WALKS OF LIFE IN OTHER SPHERES AS W ELL . $ 05 I SEE . $ 04 YOU MIGHT BE ASKED TO TAKE ON A CABINET MINISTER ONE DAY , AND A VISITING NUCLEAR PHYSICIST THE NEXT . $ #24 $ SO IT 'S VARIED WORK , AND YOU WOULD , OF COURSE , BE BROADE NING YOUR BACKGROUND . $ AND QUITE A NUMBER OF GIRLS LOOK ON IT AS AN OPPORTUNITY TO IMPROVE THEIR LANGUAGES AS WELL . $ 05 WHAT KIND OF HOURS WOULD I BE EXPECTED TO WORK , MR CASK ? $ 04 OH - IT 'S NOT ARDUOUS IN TERMS OF HOURS , AT ALL , MISS CROMPTON . $ AND YOUR ACTUAL COMMITMENTS WOULD VARY FROM WEEK TO WEEK . $ AT ONE TIME YOU MIGHT BE ATTENDING TO THE NEEDS OF TWO OR TH REE CLIENTS ONE AFTER THE OTHER . $ AT ANOTHER YOU MIGHT BE CULTIVATING ONE PARTICULAR CLIENT OV ER A PERIOD OF TIME - IN WHICH CASE YOU WOULD HAVE TO BE PRE PARED TO PLACE YOURSELF AT HIS DISPOSAL MORE OR LESS AT A MO MENT'S NOTICE . $ 05 WOULD THERE BE ANYTHING TO STOP ME TAKING ON OTHERS , IF I WANTED TO , IN BETWEEN TIMES ? $ 04 NOT IN THE LEAST . $ PROVIDED IT DIDN'T INTERFERE IN ANY WAY WITH THE WORK YOU 'R E DOING FOR US HERE . $ ANYTHING ELSE , OF A FREELANCE NATURE , WOULD BE UP TO YOU E NTIRELY . $ 05 YES . $ I SUPPOSE I 'D BE SILLY TO LET THE OPPORTUNITY GO , REALLY , WOULDN'T I ? $ 04 AND I NEED HARDLY SAY , OF COURSE , THAT YOU WOULD BE ON A SUBSTANTIALLY HIGHER SALARY RATING THAN YOU ARE AT PRESENT . $ AND THE PREMISES ARE PROVIDED , TOGETHER WITH EVERYTHING YOU NEED - APART FROM THE THINGS YOU 'LL BE WEARING AND ANY SPE CIAL EQUIPMENT YOU MAY WANT TO USE . $ SO YOU WOULD BE FINANCIALLY BETTER OFF IN EVERY WAY . $ NOT THAT THAT IS NECESSARILY THE PRIMARY CONSIDERATION - BUT IT 'S GOOD TO KNOW THAT ONE IS EARNING A GENEROUS REMUNERAT ION FOR WORK WHICH IS AT THE SAME TIME IN THE INTERESTS OF T HE COUNTRY . $ #25 $ 05 DO I HAVE TO TRY AND GET MILITARY SECRETS OUT OF THEM OR ANYTHING , WHILE I 'M ... LOOKING AFTER THEM ? $ 04 OH , NO . $ THAT 'S ENTIRELY OUR RESPONSIBILITY . $ 05 I SEE . $ 04 WE DO ALL THAT . $ 05 BLACKMAIL THEM , I SUPPOSE . $ 04 WELL - ONE DOESN'T LIKE TO USE THE WORD BLACKMAIL IN THI S CONTEXT . $ WE DO BRING A CERTAIN AMOUNT OF PRESSURE TO BEAR SOMETIMES . $ IN THE INTERESTS OF THE GREATER GOOD . $ BUT THAT NEED BE OF NO CONCERN WHATEVER OF YOURS , MISS CROM PTON , I CAN ASSURE YOU . $ YOU 'D SIMPLY BE REQUIRED TO DO YOUR OWN JOB . $ 05 I SEE . $ WELL , YES . $ I THINK I 'D QUITE LIKE TO DO IT . $ 04 WE 'D CERTAINLY BE VERY GLAD TO GIVE YOU AN OPPORTUNITY O F PROVING YOURSELF . $ BUT WE DON'T HAVE TO HAVE A DECISION RIGHT AWAY . $ WHY NOT COME AND SEE ME AGAIN , MISS CROMPTON , WHEN YOU 'VE HAD A CHANCE TO TALK IT OVER AT HOME ? $ 05 < GETTING UP ) > $ YES . $ WELL , I 'LL DO THAT . $ AND LET YOU KNOW . $ 04 EXCELLENT . $ < CASK GETS UP TO SAY GOOD-BYE TO GELDA > $ GOOD-BYE , MISS CROMPTON . $ AND I HOPE WE SHALL SOON HAVE YOU ON OUR STRENGTH . $ 05 GOOD-BYE , MR CASK . $ < GELDA GOES OUT . $ CASK RETURNS TO HIS DESK . > $ #26 $ < ACT ONE > $ < SCENE THREE > $ < THE FAWCETTS' LIVING-ROOM . $ MORNING . $ A WEEK LATER . $ BREAKFAST . $ LILIAN IS READING THE PAPER AND LEONARD IS EMPTYING CORNFLAK ES FROM THE PACKET ON TO HIS PLATE . $ A BRIGHT RED PLASTIC OBJECT FALLS OUT . $ HE PICKS IT UP AND LOOKS AT IT WITH A SORT OF RESIGNED GRAVI TY . $ IT IS A HAMMER AND SICKLE . > $ 01 IT 'S STARTED . $ 02 WHAT HAS ? $ < LEONARD PUSHES THE HAMMER AND SICKLE TOWARDS HER > $ 01 IT HASN'T BEEN UP THERE A WEEK , AND THEY 'RE ON TO US AL READY . $ 02 WHAT IS IT ? $ 01 IN THE CORNFLAKES . $ IT FELL OUT OF THE PACKET AS I WAS POURING THEM . $ 02 IT 'S ONLY A BIT OF RED PLASTIC . $ 01 THIS IS A GOOD DEAL MORE THAN JUST A BIT OF RED PLASTIC , LILIAN . $ 02 I CAN'T SEE WHAT ELSE IT IS . $ 01 LOOK AT THE SHAPE OF IT . $ THERE 'S ONLY ONE THING THAT 'S THAT SHAPE . $ AND THAT 'S A HAMMER AND SICKLE . $ 02 OH . $ WELL , I CAN'T THINK HOW IT GOT THERE , THEN . $ IT WAS A NEW PACKET . $ UNOPENED . $ 01 THEY PRESUMABLY HAVE WAYS AND MEANS . $ < PAUSE . $ THEY EAT , AND LILIAN READS , IN SILENCE > $ I SUPPOSE THIS IS ONE OF THE THINGS WE CAN BEGIN TO EXPECT . $ 02 WHAT IS ? $ 01 THIS . $ 02 OH . $ #27 $ < PAUSE > $ 01 FROM NOW ON . $ < PAUSE > $ IT 'S HAPPENED TO OTHER PEOPLE BESIDES US . $ < PAUSE > $ 01 MICROFILM IN THE SUGAR BOWL . $ TAPE RECORDERS UNDER THE BRISKET . $ THAT 'S GOING TO BE THE PATTERN FROM NOW ON . $ THEY PLANT THEM . $ TO INCRIMINATE YOU . $ < ( MEANING HAMMER AND SICKLE ) > $ LIKE THIS . $ PICK UP A SPOONFUL OF JELLY , AND BEFORE YOU KNOW WHERE YOU ARE , YOU 'RE BITING ON THE ULTIMATE DETERRENT . $ AN ANTI-MISSILE MISSILE . $ 02 NOT IF YOU LOOK WHAT YOU 'RE EATING . $ < PAUSE > $ 01 MINIATURE FREE-RANGING MICROPHONES EMBEDDED IN THE GORGON ZOLA . $ THAT 'S ANOTHER DODGE . $ < PAUSE > $ A FEW CRUMBS OF THAT LODGING IN A DENTAL PLATE AT MINISTERIA L LEVEL , AND THEY 'RE INTERCEPTING VITAL SECRETS A SPLIT SE COND BEFORE THEY 'RE UTTERED . $ < PAUSE > $ THERE 'S NO DOUBT ABOUT IT . $ WE 'RE GOING TO BE IN THE FOREFRONT OF THE BATTLE AS FAR AS INTELLIGENCE AND SECURITY 'S CONCERNED , FROM NOW ON . $ 02 THERE 'S A BOILED EGG IN THE SAUCEPAN OUT THERE . $ < LEONARD GOES OUT AND COMES BACK WITH THE EGG > $ 01 THAT 'S ONE THING THERE 'S NO DOUBT ABOUT . $ < PAUSE > $ WHAT DOES IT SAY ABOUT THE SPY TRIAL , THEN ? $ #28 $ 02 APPARENTLY THEY GOT ON TO HIM WHEN IT CAME TO LIGHT HE WA S BUYING BOTH HIS CHAUFFEURS FOUR NEW LIVERIES A YEAR OUT OF A PART-TIME ASSISTANT FURNITURE REMOVER'S WAGES . $ 01 GETTING MONEY FROM THE OTHER SIDE TO DO IT WITH . $ < PAUSE > $ 02 THEY 'VE ARRESTED THAT FILING CLERK . $ I SEE . $ 01 WHICH ONE ? $ 02 AT THE ... WHAT IS IT ? $ ... PUBLIC WORKS AND MONUMENTS . $ 01 OH , YES . $ 02 SYSTEMATICALLY LEAKING DETAILS ABOUT THE VENTILATING SYST EM AT THE AIR MINISTRY . $ < PAUSE > $ THE THINGS THEY 'LL STOOP TO FOR MONEY . $ < PAUSE > $ CHESS-PLAYER . $ 01 OH ? $ < PAUSE > $ 02 BEEN LOSING HIS QUEEN TO A RUSSIAN NAVAL ATTACHE EVERY NI GHT FOR SIX WEEKS . $ < PAUSE > $ IF THAT 'S NOT A SECURITY RISK , I DON'T KNOW WHAT IS . $ 01 WHERE 'S THAT CARD HE LEFT THE OTHER NIGHT ? $ WITH HIS NUMBER ON IT ? $ < HE GOES TO THE MANTELPIECE > $ 02 WHICH CARD ? $ 01 HERE IT IS . $ 02 OH , THAT ONE . $ 01 SECURITY 9411 . $ I THINK I 'LL GET ON TO HIM . $ 02 WHATEVER FOR ? $ 01 ABOUT THIS . $ < ( INDICATING THE HAMMER AND SICKLE ) > $ #29 $ COVER OURSELVES . $ 02 IT 'S ONLY A BIT OF PLASTIC OUT OF THE CORNFLAKES . $ 01 I THINK IT 'S SOMETHING THEY OUGHT TO KNOW ABOUT . $ 02 IF IT IS , THEY 'LL FIND OUT OF THEIR OWN ACCORD . $ THAT 'S WHAT THEY 'RE THERE FOR . $ 01 YES - BUT ... $ 02 < ( GETTING UP ) > $ YOU 'RE FUSSING AGAIN , LEONARD . $ SIT DOWN . $ 01 THERE 'S NO HARM IN PUTTING THEM IN THE PICTURE , LILIAN . $ 02 < ( GOING OUT TO THE BACK ) > $ THEY WON'T THANK YOU . $ < HE GOES TOWARDS THE DOOR INTO THE HALL > $ 02 < ( REAPPEARING AT THE DOOR ) > $ WHATEVER YOU DO , DON'T GET US INVOLVED IN ANYTHING . $ 01 I SHALL JUST TELL THEM BRIEFLY WHAT 'S HAPPENED . $ I 'M NOT GOING TO ELABORATE . $ < HE GOES OUT . $ WE HEAR HIM DIALLING > $ < ( OFF ) > $ AT LEAST IT 'LL PUT US IN THE CLEAR . $ < ACT ONE > $ < SCENE FOUR > $ < THE OFFICE . $ SAME . $ CASK IS SITTING AT THE DESK WORKING . $ SUDDENLY A BRILLIANT RED LIGHT COMES ON ON THE ' HOT ' LINE EQUIPMENT FOLLOWED BY A RAPID SERIES OF URGENT HIGH PITCHED WHOOPS ( WHICH GO ON UNTIL HE EVENTUALLY PICKS UP THE PHONE ) . $ CASK LEAPS UP LIKE A MAN POSSESSED , AND GOES MADLY THROUGH THE DRILL FOR GETTING AT THE PHONE . $ IT INVOLVES A COMPLICATED PROCESS OF USING AN INTERLOCKING S ERIES OF KEYS ALL OVER THE OFFICE , BUT ALTHOUGH HIS KNOWLED GE OF THE DRILL IS IMPECCABLE , ONE OF THE KEYS GETS STUCK A ND AS A RESULT THE OPERATION TAKES SEVERAL FRANTIC MINUTES . $ #30 $ FINALLY , JUST BEFORE GETTING THROUGH TO THE PHONE ITSELF , HE OPERATES A SWITCH MARKED ' FAILSAFE ' , AND THEN SNATCHES UP THE PHONE . $ THE WHOOPS STOP . > $ 04 < ( INTO PHONE ) > $ YES ? $ ... YES . $ ... MR WHO ? $ ... $ < ( HE DRAWS THE CARD INDEX TOWARDS HIM AND GOES THROUGH IT AS THE NAME IS SPELT OUT ) > $ YES . $ ... F ... A ... W ... C ... E ... DOUBLE T ... $ < ( HE FINDS THE CARD AND TAKES IT OUT ) > $ YES ... $ YES ... $ AHA ... $ YES ... $ I SEE ... $ NATURALLY ... $ YOU WOULD HAVE BEEN ... $ YES ... $ $ MAY I ASK , $ < ( REFERRING TO THE CARD ) > $ MR FAWCETT , WHO GAVE YOU THIS NUMBER ? $ ... I SEE . $ AND CAN YOU GIVE ME ANY IDEA WHAT ELSE YOU WERE TOLD BY THIS PERSON , MR FAWCETT ? $ ... CAVIARE . $ ARE YOU QUITE SURE CAVIARE WAS MENTIONED ? $ ... I SEE ... $ YES ... $ YES - WELL , IF I COULD EXPLAIN TO YOU WHAT I THINK MAY POSS IBLY HAVE HAPPENED , MR FAWCETT . $ WHEN THIS PERSON CALLED ON YOU , IT WAS LATE AT NIGHT , AND YOU MAY NOT HAVE NOTICED WHAT WAS HAPPENING - BUT I FEEL PRE TTY SURE THAT IN FACT YOU AND YOUR WIFE MUST ALMOST CERTAINL Y HAVE BEEN LOOKING , QUITE INADVERTENTLY , THROUGH THE WRON G END OF A SCRAMBLER TELEPHONE . $ ... OH , YES , IT DOES HAPPEN FROM TIME TO TIME , AND OF COU RSE THE IMPRESSION YOU 'D GET WOULD BE SOMEWHAT MISLEADING - INTENTIONALLY SO . $ IN ORDER TO CONFUSE ANY UNAUTHORIZED PERSON SUCH AS YOURSELV ES WHO MIGHT FIND THEMSELVES UNWITTING EAVESDROPPERS . $ AS SEEMS TO HAVE HAPPENED IN THIS INSTANCE ... $ #31 $ NOT AT ALL , MR FAWCETT . $ I 'M GLAD TO HAVE BEEN ABLE TO SET YOUR MIND AT REST ... $ THAT I COULDN'T DIVULGE , I 'M AFRAID , MR FAWCETT . $ < ( HE REFERS TO THE CARD ) > $ QUITE OUT OF THE QUESTION . $ YOU CAN REST ASSURED IT WAS SOMETHING QUITE HARMLESS OF A CO NFIDENTIAL NATURE . $ ... I 'M AFRAID NOT , MR FAWCETT . $ ONLY TO FULL MEMBERS AND THEIR ACCREDITED AGENTS . $ ... IN YOUR WHERE ? $ ... IN YOUR BALLCOCK . $ YES , THAT MAY WELL BE TRUE , MR FAWCETT , BUT IT WOULDN'T , EVEN SO , ENTITLE YOU TO MORE THAN ASSOCIATE MEMBERSHIP . $ ... WELL , YES - WE DO . $ ... CERTAINLY I WILL . $ ... I 'LL MAKE A NOTE OF IT NOW , AND GET IT OFF TO YOU RIGH T AWAY ... $ YES , IF SHE WANTS TO , SHE CAN CERTAINLY MAKE APPLICATION A T THE SAME TIME ... $ ON THE SAME FORM ... $ THAT 'S RIGHT - ALTHOUGH I THINK I OUGHT TO EXPLAIN TO YOU T HAT YOU WOULD BOTH BE REQUIRED TO UNDERGO A FAIRLY RIGOROUS PROGRAMME OF TESTS BEFORE BEING CALLED FOR INTERVIEW , AND T HAT FULL MEMBERSHIP IS CONDITIONAL UPON THE SUCCESSFUL COMPL ETION OF WHAT MANY PEOPLE MIGHT CONSIDER A QUITE ARDUOUS COU RSE OF TRAINING . $ ... IT IS , I 'M AFRAID , MR FAWCETT . $ ... THE ONLY WAY . $ ... YES . $ ... RIGHT . $ I 'LL DO THAT , MR FAWCETT . $ THANK YOU FOR GETTING ON TO US . $ ... YES . $ ... GOOD-BYE , MR FAWCETT . $ < HE PUTS THE PHONE DOWN AND FLICKS A SWITCH ON THE INTERCOM . > $ 07 YES , SIR ? $ 04 GET ME EVERYTHING YOU CAN ON A MR. AND MRS. L. J. FAWCETT . $ HUSBAND'S NAME LEONARD . $ #32 $ WIFE'S NAME LILIAN . $ AND SEND THEM APPLICATION FORM PKY FOR FULL MEMBERSHIP . $ < HE FLICKS ANOTHER SWITCH > $ ANDREYEVSKY BOLSOVER GRIFFITHS . $ I WANT HIM ON A NEW ASSIGNMENT . $ NOW . $ TELL HIM TO DROP EVERYTHING AND KEEP A TWENTY-FOUR HOUR WATC H ON A MR AND MR L. J. FAWCETT . $ HUSBAND'S NAME LEONARD . $ WIFE'S NAME LILIAN . $ < HARKER COMES IN > $ 03 GOOD MORNING , CASK . $ ANYTHING IN FROM Q6 THIS MORNING ? $ 04 GOOD MORNING , SIR . $ ONLY THIS , I 'M AFRAID , SIR . $ < HE HANDS A SLIP OF PAPER TO HARKER > $ 03 < ( READING ) > $ ' EXCUSE SCRAWL . $ GAGGED , HANDCUFFED , DROWNING . $ TRUST ALL IS WELL . ' $ HELPFUL . $ < HE PUTS IT DOWN AND CROSSES FROM FORCE OF HABIT TO THE TAP E MACHINE > $ 04 I 'VE JUST HAD A MR. FAWCETT THROUGH ON THE HOT LINE FROM MOSCOW , SIR . $ 03 WHAT ! $ 04 SOMETHING ABOUT A HAMMER AND SICKLE IN HIS CEREAL . $ 03 WHO IS HE ? $ DO WE KNOW HIM ? $ 04 < ( PICKING UP THE CARD ) > $ THIS IS ALL WE 'VE GOT ON HIM AT THE MOMENT , SIR . $ BUT I 'VE ALERTED SPECIAL BRANCH . $ WE 'RE HAVING HIM WATCHED . $ 03 WHO 'S OUR BEST MAN ? $ 04 ANDREYEVSKY BOLSOVER GRIFFITHS , SIR . $ 03 PUT HIM ON TO IT . $ 04 YES , I 'VE DONE THAT . $ 03 < ( WITH CARD ) > $ $ DO YOU KNOW , CASK ... THIS RINGS A BELL ... $ #33 $ 04 SEEMED TO KNOW QUITE A LOT ABOUT OPERATION STURGEON ROE , SIR . $ 03 THE DEVIL HE DID ! $ 04 HE CLAIMS TO HAVE A CAPSULE , OR SOMETHING , SECRETED IN THE ... $ 03 ... IN THE HOLLOW BALLCOCK OF HIS LAVATORY CISTERN . $ 04 WELL - YES ... $ AS A MATTER OF FACT . $ < HARKER IS PLUNGED DEEP IN TROUBLED THOUGHT > $ THE THING THAT MAKES IT ALL THE MORE PUZZLING IS THAT SOMEHO W OR OTHER HE 'S GOT HOLD OF THIS NUMBER . $ < PAUSE > $ WHICH MEANS WE SHALL HAVE TO RING ROUND ALL THE EMBASSIES AG AIN AND CHANGE IT . $ THE POST OFFICE WILL GO UP THE WALL , OF COURSE , BUT THAT C AN'T BE HELPED . $ < PAUSE > $ 03 I DON'T KNOW WHETHER YOU REALIZE THE FULL SIGNIFICANCE OF THIS , CASK . $ 04 I REALIZE IT 'S PRETTY SERIOUS , SIR . $ 03 OF COURSE IT IS . $ BUT THAT 'S NOT THE POINT . $ THE POINT IS THAT IN THE WHOLE OF THE MINISTRY THERE 'S ONLY ONE PERSON WHO COULD HAVE GIVEN THIS NUMBER TO AN UNAUTHORI ZED MEMBER OF THE PUBLIC , CASK . $ 04 WELL ... $ 03 BECAUSE THERE 'S ONLY ONE PERSON WHO KNOWS IT . $ AND THAT 'S ME . $ 04 YOU 'RE NOT SUGGESTING , SIR ... ? $ 03 I 'M SUGGESTING NOTHING , CASK . $ AT THE MOMENT . $ EXCEPT THAT TWO OF OUR MOST CLOSELY GUARDED SECRETS HAVE SOM EHOW OR OTHER FOUND THEIR WAY INTO THE HANDS OF SOMEONE WHO FOR ALL YOU OR I KNOW MAY BE WORKING FOR EVERY SINGLE DAMNED ALIEN POWER THIS SIDE OF RIBBLESDALE . $ #34 $ 04 IT 'S CERTAINLY A BIT UNFORTUNATE , SIR . $ 03 IT 'S MORE THAN UNFORTUNATE . $ IT 'S DOWNRIGHT DISASTROUS . $ NO GOOD CALLING IT UNFORTUNATE . $ IT 'S THE FATHER AND MOTHER OF A SECURITY BREACH , CASK . $ YOU KNOW IT , AND I KNOW IT . $ < PAUSE > $ 04 IT 'S JUST ONE OF THOSE THINGS , SIR . $ IT HAPPENS TO ALL OF US . $ 03 IT 'S HAPPENING TO ME A DAMN SIGHT TOO OFTEN , CASK . $ THIS IS THE THIRD TIME IN SIX MONTHS . $ IF IT GOES ON , GOD KNOWS WHERE IT 'S GOING TO END . $ 04 THERE IS ONE REASSURING ASPECT , SIR . $ IF I MAY SAY SO . $ NOW THAT WE KNOW WHO IT IS , WE DON'T HAVE TO BOTHER KEEPING TABS ON ANYBODY ELSE . $ 03 THAT 'S THE LEAST OF OUR WORRIES , CASK . $ A BREACH OF SECURITY IS A BREACH OF SECURITY . $ WHOEVER 'S RESPONSIBLE . $ IT DOESN'T MAKE IT ANY LESS CATASTROPHIC BECAUSE WE KNOW WHO BLABBED . $ 04 WHAT HAPPENED , SIR ? $ WERE YOU ... ? $ 03 WAS I WHAT ? $ 04 I JUST WONDERED WHAT ... WHETHER IT WAS THAT YOU 'D ... $ 03 THAT I 'D WHAT ? $ 04 ... DRUNK TOO MUCH AT THE TIME , SIR . $ 03 GOOD GOD , NO , CASK . $ IT JUST COMES OVER ME . $ AT ANY TIME . $ I MIGHT BE ALL RIGHT FOR MONTHS , AND THEN SUDDENLY I GET ON E OF THESE ATTACKS . $ OUT OF THE BLUE . $ AND WHEN THAT HAPPENS , ALL I CAN DO IS TO PRAY THAT IT ISN' T ANYTHING TOO VITAL THAT GETS LET OUT . $ #35 $ THIS TIME I SEEM TO HAVE PRAYED IN VAIN . $ 04 WHAT 'S THE ... CAUSE OF IT , SIR ? $ 03 CLASSIC CASE OF BOLGERHAUSEN'S MULTIPLE ALLEGIANCE SYNDRO ME , CASK . $ MIXED ANCESTRY , YOU SEE . $ BACK IN THE TIME OF QUEEN ANNE . $ THE SUBCONSCIOUS HAS NEVER KNOWN FOR CERTAIN WHERE ONE'S BAS IC LOYALTIES REALLY LIE . $ 04 COMES OUT IN THE FORM OF SUBVERSIVE IMPULSES . $ 03 EXACTLY , CASK . $ WHICH ARE THE VERY DEVIL TO CONTROL . $ 04 COULDN'T YOU TAKE SOMETHING FOR IT , SIR ? $ 03 I WISH I KNEW WHAT , CASK . $ 04 ONE OR TWO PEOPLE I KNOW HAVE HAD A FAIR MEASURE OF SUCCE SS WITH THE OFFICIAL SECRETS ACT , SIR . $ 03 MY DEAR CHAP . $ I 'VE BEEN SIGNING THE OFFICIAL SECRETS ACT NIGHT AND MORNIN G FOR THE LAST FIVE AND A HALF YEARS . $ THAT 'S VERY MUCH A BROKEN REED . $ 04 OR THERE 'S NATURALIZATION , SIR . $ 03 YES . $ ONCE EVERY THREE YEARS AND A BOOSTER EVERY SEVEN . $ IT MAY COME TO THAT IN THE END . $ BUT I WANT TO STEER CLEAR OF IT FOR AS LONG AS I CAN . $ PEOPLE ARE VERY FUNNY ABOUT HAVING THE SECURITY SERVICES RUN BY SOMEBODY WHO NEEDS NATURALIZING . $ 04 TRUE , SIR . $ 03 BAD FOR THE IMAGE . $ 04 THERE IS , I SUPPOSE , ONE SMALL CRUMB OF COMFORT , SIR . $ FOR WHAT IT 'S WORTH . $ 03 YES ? $ 04 AND THAT 'S THAT THE PRESS HAVE BEEN ON TO US FOR MONTHS FOR A GRAVE SECURITY BREACH THEY CAN DENOUNCE THE GOVERNMENT FOR . $ #36 $ 03 YES . $ THEY HAVE . $ 04 THIS SHOULD BE JUST WHAT THEY 'RE LOOKING FOR . $ SLACKNESS IN HIGH QUARTERS . $ KEEP THEM HAPPY FOR A MONTH OR TWO . $ 03 IT SHOULD . $ 04 EASE THE PRESSURE A LITTLE BIT . $ 03 YES . $ YOU SEE , CASK , THE THING THAT WORRIES ME IS THAT IT 'S BEE N GOING ON FOR SO LONG . $ THAT 'S WHAT WORRIES ME . $ IT 'S NOT SOMETHING NEW . $ IT 'S SOMETHING I 'VE HAD ALL MY LIFE . $ 04 YES , SIR ? $ 03 I REMEMBER QUITE CLEARLY AS A SMALL BOY COMING OVER SUBVE RSIVE ONE DAY IN WOOLWORTH'S . $ I WAS WATCHING A GIRL SERVING SOMEONE WITH CURTAIN RINGS AT THE TIME . $ MIDDLE OF THE AFTERNOON ONE SUMMER . $ ONE MOMENT I WAS FEELING FINE , NOT A CARE IN THE WORLD , DI PPING INTO A BAG OF MINT HUMBUGS , UNLESS MY MEMORY PLAYS ME FALSE , AND THE NEXT THING I KNEW I WAS STRUGGLING IN THE G RIP OF AN OVERPOWERING IMPULSE TO UNDERMINE THE LEGALLY CONS TITUTED GOVERNMENT OF THE COUNTRY IN THE NAME OF AN ALIEN PH ILOSOPHY . $ 04 A HAIR-RAISING MOMENT IT MUST HAVE BEEN FOR YOU , SIR . $ 03 NOT A VERY PLEASANT EXPERIENCE , CASK . $ FOR A SMALL BOY OF NINE . $ 04 IT CERTAINLY WASN'T , SIR . $ 03 TO THIS DAY I 'VE NEVER DISCOVERED WHAT BROUGHT IT ON AT THAT PARTICULAR MOMENT - AND OF COURSE WITHIN SECONDS IT HAD PASSED . $ BUT IT WAS BY FAR THE MOST NERVE-RACKING EXPERIENCE , WHILE IT LASTED , THAT I 'VE EVER UNDERGONE BEFORE OR SINCE . $ #37 $ 03 I CAN WELL IMAGINE IT WAS , SIR . $ 04 TERRIFYING . $ IN FACT YOU CAN IMAGINE WHAT IT WAS LIKE WHEN I TELL YOU THA T DURING THOSE FEW SECONDS IT WAS ALL I COULD DO NOT TO TURN TO THE GIRL BEHIND THE COUNTER , BECKON HER ACROSS , AND DI VULGE AN ATOM SECRET TO HER . $ AND IF BY SOME CATASTROPHIC COMBINATION OF CIRCUMSTANCES I ' D HAPPENED AT THAT MOMENT TO HAVE ONE ON ME - I REALLY THINK I MIGHT HAVE DONE IT . $ IN THE MIDDLE OF A CROWDED WOOLWORTH'S , WITH EVERY AGENT WI THIN EARSHOT WAITING TO MAKE DETAILED NOTES ON THE BACK OF A N EMPTY CIGARETTE PACKET . $ THAT 'S HOW NEAR WE ALL WERE , HAD WE BUT KNOWN IT , CASK , TO A GLOBAL HOLOCAUST OF THE FIRST WATER . $ I SHUDDER NOW EVERY TIME I THINK OF IT . $ 04 IT 'S A SOBERING THOUGHT , SIR , CERTAINLY . $ 03 FORTUNATELY , THERE WEREN'T THE ATOM SECRETS AROUND THEN THAT THERE ARE NOW , FOR ME TO HAVE ON ME . $ BUT I WASN'T TO KNOW THAT AT THE TIME . $ 04 QUITE , SIR . $ 03 SINCE THEN , OF COURSE , IT 'S HAPPENED TO ME MORE TIMES THAN I 'D CARE TO COUNT , BUT EXCEPT FOR THE OCCASIONAL LAPS E , I FLATTER MYSELF I 'VE MANAGED BY AND LARGE TO KEEP IT U NDER CONTROL . $ YOU LEARN OVER THE YEARS , CASK , TO TAKE PRECAUTIONS . $ 04 YES , I IMAGINE YOU DO , SIR . $ 03 FOR ONE THING , I NEVER VENTURE OUT OF THIS OFFICE IF I C AN HELP IT WITHOUT DIVESTING MY MIND OF ANYTHING REMOTELY TO P SECRET BEFORE I GO . $ #38 $ 04 THE WISEST THING YOU COULD DO , SIR . $ 03 AND I MIGHT SAY , CASK , WITHOUT WISHING TO SOUND IN ANY WAY SMUG , THAT EVEN WHEN I 'M HERE I KNOW CONSIDERABLY LESS ABOUT WHAT GOES ON IN MY OWN DEPARTMENT THAN ALMOST ANY OTH ER HEAD OF SECURITY THIS SIDE OF WESTERN AUSTRALIA . $ 04 I DON'T THINK ANYONE WOULD DENY THAT , SIR . $ 03 AND IT 'S AS IT SHOULD BE , CASK . $ A MAN CAN HARDLY EXPECT TO HAVE MUCH SUCCESS IN KEEPING VITA L SECRETS FROM OTHER PEOPLE IF HE ISN'T CAPABLE OF KEEPING T HEM FROM HIMSELF . $ 04 NO , SIR . $ 03 THAT 'S A POINT WORTH REMEMBERING , CASK , IF YOU 'RE EVE R IN MY SHOES . $ 04 YES , I 'LL BEAR IT IN MIND , SIR . $ 03 WHAT WERE TALKING ABOUT ? $ 04 THE LEAKED INFORMATION , SIR , ON OPERATION STURGEON ROE . $ 03 AH , YES . $ 04 WHAT I 'VE DONE SO FAR IS TO TRY AND CONTAIN THE THING BY DENYING THAT THERE 'S ANYTHING TO IT . $ 03 EXCELLENT PLAN . $ 04 AND I THOUGHT - AS I BELIEVE WE SAID - THAT THE FAWCETTS SHOULD BE KEPT UNDER STRICT SURVEILLANCE . $ 03 ABSOLUTELY . $ WHO HAVE WE GOT ? $ 04 WE DECIDED , IF YOU REMEMBER , SIR , TO PUT ANDREYEVSKY B OLSOVER GRIFFITHS ON TO IT . $ 03 SPLENDID . $ FIRST CLASS MAN . $ 04 BRIEF HIM TO RECOVER THE CAPSULE AT THE SAME TIME , PERHA PS . $ 03 IF YOU THINK IT 'S FEASIBLE , CASK . $ BY ALL MEANS . $ #39 $ 04 WITHOUT AROUSING THEIR SUSPICIONS , OF COURSE . $ 03 FINE . $ WHATEVER YOU THINK , CASK . $ 04 I THOUGHT WE MIGHT INFILTRATE HIM AS HEAD PORTER ... $ 03 YES . $ 04 ... IN THE BLOCK OF FLATS WHERE THEY LIVE . $ 03 YES . $ WELL - DEAL WITH IT AS YOU THINK FIT , CASK . $ I LEAVE IT ENTIRELY WITH YOU . $ < HE GOES OUT INTO HIS OFFICE . > $ < ACT ONE > $ < SCENE FIVE > $ < THE FAWCETTS' LIVING-ROOM . $ EVENING . $ NEXT DAY . $ ON THE TABLE IS SOME TORN BROWN PAPER WRAPPING WHICH WAS ROU ND THE APPLICATION FORM WHEN IT CAME . $ IT IN FACT SONSISTS OF A SHEAF OF PAPERS NEARLY TWO INCHES T HICK , WITH WHICH LEONARD IS STRUGGLING ON THE TABLE FOR SEV ERAL MINUTES BEFORE LILIAN COMES IN . > $ 02 APPLICATION FORM INDEED . $ I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU COULD HAVE BEEN THINKING OF . $ < PAUSE > $ THE VERY THING I SAID NOT TO DO . $ BEFORE YOU WENT TO THE PHONE . $ NOT TO GET YOURSELF INVOLVED . $ < PAUSE . $ LILIAN TAKES UP HER KNITTING AND LEONARD SURVEYS THE TASK AH EAD OF HIM . > $ I SUPPOSE WE OUGHT TO BE THANKFUL THEY 'RE NOT ASKING FOR IT IN TRIPLICATE . $ < PAUSE . $ LEONARD SITS AT THE DESK . $ PICKS UP A PEN AND TRIES TO DECIDE WHERE TO BEGIN . > $ #40 $ I CAN'T THINK WHAT POSSESSED YOU . $ < PAUSE . > $ I DON'T SUPPOSE YOU EVEN PUT A CROSS FOR NO PUBLICITY . $ < PAUSE . > $ DID YOU ? $ 01 THERE WAS NOWHERE TO PUT A CROSS , LILIAN . $ IT WAS DONE ON THE PHONE . $ < PAUSE . > $ 02 IF THEY NEEDED US , THEY 'D GET IN TOUCH WITH US . $ WE DON'T HAVE TO GO OUT OF OUR WAY . $ < PAUSE . > $ 01 THERE ARE ONE OR TWO THINGS GOING ON , LILIAN , THAT COUL D DO WITH LOOKING INTO FROM THE INSIDE , THAT 'S ALL . $ < PAUSE . > $ 02 WHAT DO THEY WANT TO KNOW . $ 01 THEY WANT TO KNOW MY ANTECEDENTS . $ < PAUSE . > $ 02 WHAT I CAN'T UNDERSTAND IS WHERE YOU GOT THE IDEA FROM TH AT I 'D WANT TO BE INCLUDED ON IT . $ 01 I JUST ASKED HIM . $ WHILE I WAS ABOUT IT . $ THAT 'S ALL . $ WE 'RE NEITHER OF US COMMITTED . $ IT WAS JUST AN ORDINARY ROUTINE ENQUIRY WHILE I HAPPENED TO BE ON THE PHONE TALKING TO HIM . $ < PAUSE . > $ 02 IF YOU WANT TO DO IT , FOR THE SAKE OF AN OUTSIDE INTERES T , THAT 'S UP TO YOU . $ BUT THEY 'RE NOT GETTING ME UP TO MY NECK IN MUD ON SOME ASS AULT COURSE OR OTHER ... $ 01 I DOUBT WHETHER IT 'S THAT KIND OF TRAINING , LILIAN . $ #41 $ 02 ... AND I SHOULDN'T HAVE THOUGHT YOU WERE EXACTLY CUT OUT FOR IT , EITHER . $ < PAUSE . > $ IN ANY CASE , IF IT 'S TRUE WHAT THEY SAY IN THE PAPER , ABO UT AUTOMATION , YOU 'RE GOING TO BE REDUNDANT BEFORE YOU GET IN . $ < PAUSE . > $ I WONDERED WHAT IT WAS YOU WERE ON TENTERHOOKS FOR . $ EVERY TIME THE POST CAME . $ 01 I WASN'T ON TENTER-HOOKS FOR IT , LILIAN . $ I WAS JUST WONDERING WHEN THEY WERE GOING TO SEND IT . $ < LONG PAUSE AS LILIAN KNITS AND LEONARD WORKS HIS WAY TO TH E BOTTOM OF PAGE ONE AND TURNS OVER . > $ 01 < ( QUOTING ) > $ ' HAVE YOU EVER SUFFERED FROM SECRET FEARS , INNER TENSIONS , INHERITED GRUDGE , DEEP-SEATED LACK OF CONFIDENCE , ETC. ' $ < PAUSE > $ 02 YOU 'LL HAVE TO TRY AND THINK OF SOMETHING . $ IT SHOULDN'T BE DIFFICULT . $ 01 < ( QUOTING ) > $ ' HAVE YOU , OR HAS ANY MEMBER OF YOUR FAMILY , ANY HISTORY OF FAILURE ? $ IF SO , PLEASE GIVE DETAILS . ' $ 02 THEY 'D NATURALLY WANT TO KNOW ALL THAT . $ THAT 'S EXACTLY WHAT I SHOULD HAVE EXPECTED THEM TO WANT TO KNOW . $ I COULD HAVE TOLD YOU THAT BEFORE YOU SENT FOR IT . $ < PAUSE . > $ THEY 'RE BOUND TO BE LOOKING TO SEE WHERE THE CHINKS ARE IN YOUR ARMOUR . $ 01 WHAT ARMOUR ? $ 02 SO THAT THEY CAN HAVE SOMETHING TO PROBE THROUGH . $ IF THEY WANT TO BREAK YOU DOWN AT ANY TIME . $ #42 $ OR BRING YOU TO HEEL . $ 01 HISTORY OF FAILURE ... $ < PAUSE . > $ 02 WHAT ABOUT THE HALF SHARE YOU HAD IN THAT REFUSE TIP THAT WENT BANKRUPT ? $ YOU COULD PUT THAT IN . $ < PAUSE > $ AND THERE 'S THE TIME YOU TOOK UP BOXING . $ 01 YES . $ I 'VE THOUGHT OF THAT . $ < PAUSE . > $ 02 WHEN YOU HAD SIX MONTHS WITH ONE OF THE LEADING BOXING CO ACHES IN THE COUNTRY . $ 01 HE WASN'T A LEADING BOXING COACH , LILIAN . $ < PAUSE . > $ 02 AND WALKED OUT OF THE GYM ON THE VERY LAST DAY STRAIGHT I NTO THE ARMS OF THAT ALL-IN WRESTLER . $ < PAUSE . $ LILIAN GLANCES OUT OF THE WINDOW AND NODS TO SOMEONE . > $ AND GOT THROWN FROM ONE SIDE OF CAMBERWELL HIGH STREET TO TH E OTHER . $ OR WHEREVER IT WAS . $ THAT COULD GO DOWN . $ < PAUSE . $ LEONARD STARTS RELUCTANTLY WRITING . > $ AND THERE 'S THAT DREAM YOU HAD . $ YOU OUGHT TO MENTION THAT . $ < PAUSE . > $ WHERE THEY ASK ABOUT DEEP-SEATED LACK OF CONFIDENCE . $ 01 I DON'T KNOW WHICH DREAM YOU 'RE REFERRING TO , LILIAN . $ 02 WHEN YOU WERE THINKING ABOUT TAKING UP LADIES' HAIRDRESSI NG . $ DON'T YOU REMEMBER ? $ AND YOU HAD A DREAM ABOUT OPENING UP ONE MORNING , ONLY TO F IND THAT THE ENTIRE FEMALE POPULATION HAD GONE BALD OVERNIGH T . $ #43 $ < PAUSE . > $ THAT 'S THE KIND OF THING THEY 'RE LOOKING FOR , ISN'T IT ? $ 01 YES . $ < PAUSE . > $ 02 I SHOULD PUT IT DOWN THEN . $ < LEONARD HAPPENS TO LOOK OUT OF THE WINDOW AND THEN LOOKS A GAIN . $ HE PUTS HIS PEN DOWN , GETS UP , SIDLES ROUND TOWARDS THE WI NDOW , AND STANDING WELL BACK AND TO ONE SIDE , PEERS OUT . $ THEN HE GOES BACK TO THE DESK AND SITS DOWN AGAIN . > $ HE 'S GOT TO FIND HIS WAY AROUND . $ IT 'S ONLY HIS SECOND DAY HERE . $ 01 HE 'S NOT FINDING HIS WAY AROUND BY HANGING ABOUT OUT THE RE , LILIAN . $ < PAUSE . > $ 02 ONLY LAST WEEK YOU WERE SAYING , ' ISN'T IT TIME WE HAD A HEAD PORTER IN THE BLOCK . ' $ NOW WE 'VE GOT ONE , ALL YOU DO IS STARE OUT OF THE WINDOW A T HIM . $ EVERY TIME HE PUTS IN AN APPEARANCE . $ < PAUSE . > $ WHAT SORT OF AN IMPRESSION HE 'LL GET I CAN'T IMAGINE . $ < PAUSE . > $ IF HE WERE TAKING ALL THAT MUCH INTEREST IN US , HE 'D HARDL Y PUT ON A HEAD PORTER'S UNIFORM TO DO IT IN , WOULD HE ? $ 01 THAT MAY BE HOW YOU LOOK AT IT , LILIAN . $ < PAUSE . > $ I PREFER TO THINK HE 'S BEEN SENT HERE . $ 02 WITH A NAME LIKE BRIGGS ? $ 01 HE WASN'T SENT HERE WITH A NAME LIKE BRIGGS , LILIAN . $ HE TOOK THAT WHEN HE GOT HERE . $ #44 $ < PAUSE . > $ THIS IS THE WAY THEY GET AT YOU . $ 02 SO YOU KEEP SAYING . $ < PAUSE . > $ 01 YOU 'VE ONLY GOT TO LOOK AT HIS UNIFORM . $ < PAUSE . > $ FROCK COAT AND STRIPED TROUSERS . $ HAVE YOU EVER SEEN THE HEAD PORTER OF A BLOCK OF FLATS WEARI NG A FROCK COAT AND STRIPED TROUSERS ? $ < THERE IS A KNOCK AT THE DOOR WHICH LEADS INTO THE HALL , A ND ANDREYEVSKY APPEARS AT IT . $ HE SHOULD BE PERFECTLY RECOGNIZABLE BENEATH THE HEAVY DISGUI SE . $ HE IS GOT UP TO LOOK LIKE THE STAGE STEREOTYPE OF THE FORELO CK-TOUCHING FAITHFUL RETAINER , IN SHABBY FROCK COAT AND STR IPED TROUSERS . $ HE IS IN LILIAN'S LINE OF VISION BUT NOT LEONARD'S . $ 02 YES , BRIGGS ? $ 06 BEGGING YOUR PARDON , MA'AM . $ BEGGING YOUR PARDON , SIR . $ IT 'S THE OVERFLOW . $ FROM THE CISTERN , SIR . $ 02 YES . $ BY ALL MEANS , BRIGGS . $ YOU KNOW THE WAY . $ SECOND DOOR ON THE LEFT . $ 06 THANK YOU , MA'AM . $ THANK YOU , SIR . $ < HE SHUFFLES AND GOES OUT INTO THE BACK . $ PAUSE . > $ 01 WHAT IN GOD'S NAME WERE YOU THINKING ABOUT , LILIAN ? $ SENDING HIM OUT THERE . $ IT 'S EXACTLY WHAT HE WAS AFTER . $ IT 'S PLAYING RIGHT INTO HIS HANDS . $ 02 I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU 'RE TALKING ABOUT , LEONARD . $ 01 WE HAPPEN TO HAVE A TOP SECRET CAPSULE OUT THERE ! $ THAT 'S WHAT I 'M TALKING ABOUT . $ #45 $ < PAUSE . > $ THE WHOLE THING 'S A BLIND FROM BEGINNING TO END . $ I COULD SEE THAT YESTERDAY THE MOMENT HE ANNOUNCED HIMSELF . $ HIS WHOLE GET-UP . $ AND ' BEGGING YOUR PARDON , MA'AM , ' AND THIS BUSINESS . $ < ( TOUCHING HIS FORELOCK . ) > $ < PAUSE . > $ 02 I RATHER LIKED IT . $ 01 BUT FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE , LILIAN ... ! $ 02 I DON'T THINK THERE 'S ANYTHING WRONG WITH CIVILITY . $ 01 BUT ... $ 02 WE 'RE NOT EXACTLY OVERBURDENED WITH IT . $ OUTSIDE THE HOUSE , OR IN . $ < PAUSE . > $ 01 CAN'T YOU SEE , LILIAN , THAT THE WHOLE ... THING , IS DE SIGNED TO PULL THE WOOL OVER OUR EYES ? $ LULL US INTO THINKING HE 'S SOME FAITHFUL OLD RETAINER WHO ' S BEEN IN SERVICE HERE FROM TIME IMMEMORIAL ? $ < PAUSE . > $ BEFORE WE 'VE HAD TIME TO TURN ROUND HE 'S GIVEN HIMSELF CAR TE BLANCH TO COME POKING ABOUT IN OUR CISTERN WHENEVER HE FE ELS LIKE IT . $ < PAUSE . $ LEONARD TRIES TO GO BACK TO HIS FORM . > $ WHAT 'S HE DOING ? $ HE 'S BEEN THERE LONG ENOUGH TO PHOTOGRAPH EVERYTHING IN THE RE TEN TIMES OVER . $ 02 HE 'S DOING HIS JOB , LEONARD . $ THAT 'S ALL HE 'S DOING . $ < LEONARD TURNS AND NOTICES THAT THE CORD SUPPORTING ONE OF THE PICTURES HAS GONE . > $ 01 WHAT 'S KEEPING THAT UP ? $ #46 $ 02 WHAT UP ? $ 01 THE CORD 'S DISAPPEARED . $ < THEY LOOK AT EACH OTHER AND AT THE PICTURE . $ LEONARD APPROACHES CAUTIOUSLY AND TESTS IT , BUT THE PICTURE SEEMS FIXED TO THE WALL . $ PAUSE . > $ 02 PERHAPS THAT 'S WHAT HE WAS DOING YESTERDAY . $ 01 WHAT WHO WAS DOING ? $ 02 WHEN HE SAID COULD HE LOOK UNDER THE FLOORBOARDS . $ HE PROBABLY NEEDED THE CORD . $ 01 WHO DID ? $ 02 BRIGGS . $ 01 WHAT WAS HE DOING UNDER THE FLOORBOARDS YESTERDAY ? $ 02 I DIDN'T TAKE MUCH NOTICE . $ AN AERIAL PHOTOGRAPH OF THE ROOM UNDERNEATH , I THINK . $ < PAUSE . > $ 01 YOU KNOW , DON'T YOU , LILIAN , THAT THERE IS NO ROOM UND ERNEATH ? $ 02 HE 'S THE HEAD PORTER , LEONARD . $ GIVE HIM THE CREDIT FOR KNOWING WHAT HE 'S DOING . $ PLEASE ! $ < PAUSE . $ HE GOES TO THE PICTURE AND TRIES IT AGAIN , BUT IN VAIN . $ IT WON'T BUDGE . $ HE TURNS AWAY FROM THE PICTURE , AND AS HE DOES SO IT BEGINS TO SWING AWAY FROM THE WALL , ON HINGES , TO REVEAL , SET I NTO THE WALL , A PANEL COVERED WITH DIALS , SWITCHES , LIGHT S AND A LARGE COMBINATION LOCK . $ IT LOOKS LIKE A VERY SMALL REPLICA OF THE DOOR OF A BULLION SAFE IN THE VAULTS OF THE BANK OF ENGLAND . $ BOTH STARE AT IT FOR A FEW MOMENTS . > $ CLOSE IT UP BEFORE THE DUST GETS IN IT . $ #47 $ 01 BUT ... $ 02 IT 'S ONLY A SAFE OR SOMETHING THEY 'VE HAD PUT IN . $ WE SHALL KNOW SOON ENOUGH . $ < SHE REPLACES THE PICTURE . > $ IN ANY CASE THERE 'S NOTHING WE CAN DO TILL WE KNOW THE COMB INATION . $ < PAUSE . > $ 01 THAT MIGHT BE ANOTHER SIX MONTHS , LILIAN . $ 02 THE LONGER IT IS BEFORE WE KNOW HOW TO OPEN IT , THE LESS LIKELY WE ARE TO GET INVOLVED WITH WHAT 'S INSIDE . $ < PAUSE . > $ NOT THAT I CAN IMAGINE IT TAKING ANYBODY ELSE SIX MONTHS TO FIND OUT . $ < LEONARD HAS ANOTHER LOOK BEHIND THE PICTURE . > $ 02 LEAVE IT ALONE , LEONARD , TILL YOU KNOW WHAT YOU 'RE DOI NG . $ < LEONARD TURNS BACK TO THE APPLICATION FORM . > $ 01 THE SOONER THIS IS SENT IN , AND I 'M CALLED UP FOR INTER VIEW , THE BETTER IT 'LL BE FOR ALL OF US . $ < HE SITS , WRITES , AND THEN IS STRUCK BY A THOUGHT . > $ 01 YES . $ I THINK I MIGHT . $ 02 WHAT ? $ 01 I THINK I MIGHT DO THAT . $ < PAUSE . > $ WHEN HE COMES BACK IN . $ SEE HOW HE REACTS . $ < PAUSE . > $ HERE HE COMES NOW . $ 02 FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE DON'T GET CARRIED AWAY . $ THAT 'S ALL I ASK . $ 01 AH , BRIGGS . $ COME IN . $ 06 THANK YOU , SIR . $ THANK YOU , MA'AM . $ #48 $ 01 EVERYTHING ALL RIGHT NOW , IS IT ? $ 06 YES , IT IS , SIR . $ THANK YOU . $ IT 'S ALL SHIPSHAPE NOW , AS YOU MIGHT SAY , SIR . $ 01 GOOD . $ TELL ME , BRIGGS . $ YOU 'RE THE HEAD PORTER , I BELIEVE . $ 06 THAT 'S RIGHT , SIR . $ 01 BEEN HERE SOME TIME , HAVE YOU ? $ 06 OH YES , SIR . $ I HAVE . $ 01 I THOUGHT I 'D SEEN YOU AROUND . $ 06 TWENTY-FIVE YEARS ALL TOLD , SIR . $ COME MICHAELMAS . $ 01 AS LONG AS THAT ? $ 06 GIVE OR TAKE THE ODD TWO AND A HALF DECADES . $ 01 WE MUST SEE WHAT WE CAN DO FOR YOU , BRIGGS . $ 06 THANK YOU VERY MUCH , SIR . $ 01 IN THE MEANTIME $ < ( PICKING UP THE MINIATURE GRANDFATHER CLOCK AND THRUSTING IT BODILY INTO ANDREYEVSKY'S ARMS ) > $ A SMALL TOKEN OF OUR ESTEEM AND GRATITUDE . $ 06 < ( TOUCHING HIS FORELOCK ) > $ THANK YOU VERY MUCH , SIR . $ THANK YOU VERY MUCH , MA'AM . $ 01 YOU 'LL KEEP IT UNDER YOUR HAT ... $ 06 OH YES , SIR . $ 01 WE DON'T WANT HALF THE BRITISH ISLES ROUND HERE , DO WE ? $ HOLDING THEIR HANDS OUT FOR GRANDFATHER CLOCKS . $ 06 YOU CAN RELY ON ME , SIR . $ 01 ONCE A THING LIKE THAT GETS ABOUT , BEFORE YOU KNOW WHERE YOU ARE YOU 'VE GOT PEOPLE QUEUEING UP OUTSIDE THE DOOR AND HALFWAY DOWN THE STAIRS . $ 06 QUITE , SIR . $ 02 UNLESS YOU HAPPEN TO BE LIVING ON THE GROUND FLOOR . $ #49 $ 06 THAT 'S THE ONE THING THAT MIGHT SAVE YOU , MA'AM , IF I MIGHT BE PERMITTED TO SAY SO . $ < ( AS HE GOES TO THE DOOR . ) > $ I 'LL CHERISH THIS , SIR . $ MA'AM . $ 01 YES . $ DO THAT . $ ANY TIME YOU 'VE GOT A SPARE MOMENT . $ 06 GOOD NIGHT TO YOU , SIR . $ GOOD NIGHT TO YOU MA'AM . $ < HE GOES OUT . > $ 01 OH - AND BRIGGS . $ 06 < ( OFF ) > $ YES , SIR ? $ 01 YOU MIGHT REDECORATE THE WALLS ON YOUR WAY OUT . $ THERE 'S A GOOD CHAP . $ 06 < ( OFF ) > $ VERY GOOD , SIR . $ AND THANK YOU , SIR . $ THANK YOU VERY MUCH . $ < LEONARD GOES MASTERFULLY BACK TO THE DESK AND BEGINS TO WR ITE . $ LILIAN KNITS ON IN ELOQUENT SILENCE . $ HE MANAGES TO HOLD OUT FOR SOME TIME , BUT NOT INDEFINITELY . > $ 01 THERE 'S SUCH A THING AS MEETING BLUFF WITH BLUFF , LILIA N . $ < PAUSE . > $ IT 'S YOUR WITS AGAINST THEIRS IN THIS GAME , YOU KNOW . $ < PAUSE . > $ THERE 'S A GOOD DEAL MORE AT STAKE HERE THAN A GRANDFATHER C LOCK . $ < PAUSE . $ LILIAN GETS UP , VERY SLOWLY AND DELIBERATELY , AND GOES TO THE UPSTAGE DOOR . > $ 02 I 'LL GET YOUR HORLICK'S . $ < SHE GOES OUT . > $ 01 A GOOD DEAL MORE . $ < END OF ACT ONE > $ #50 $ < ACT TWO > $ < SCENE ONE > $ < THE OFFICE . $ EVENING . $ LATER . $ THE MINIATURE GRANDFATHER CLOCK STANDS NEAR THE DESK . $ HARKER , WHO IS SITTING AT THE DESK , HAS LEONARD'S APPLICAT ION FORM OPEN IN FRONT OF HIM . $ CASK IS STANDING BESIDE HIM . $ IT IS SOME TIME BEFORE HE SPEAKS . > $ 03 CLAIMS TO HAVE HAD TWO PARENTS , I SEE . $ 04 THAT 'S RIGHT , SIR . $ 03 ONE FATHER , ONE MOTHER . $ < PAUSE . > $ 03 SEEMS AS IF THEY BOTH HAD TWO , AS WELL . $ 04 THAT 'S WHAT HE MAINTAINS , SIR . $ FOUR GRANDPARENTS . $ 03 AND EIGHT GREAT-GRANDPARENTS , BY THE LOOK OF IT . $ 04 YES , SIR . $ < PAUSE . > $ 03 THE FURTHER YOU GO BACK , THE MORE PEOPLE SEEM TO HAVE BE EN INVOLVED . $ EIGHT , SIXTEEN , THIRTY-TWO , SIXTY-FOUR , A HUNDRED AND TW ENTY-EIGHT . $ GOES ON DOUBLING UP INDEFINITELY , AS FAR AS I CAN SEE . $ 04 WE DID WORK IT OUT , ACTUALLY , SIR . $ ON THE COMPUTER . $ 03 AND WHAT DID YOU ARRIVE AT ? $ 04 WELL - THE FIGURE WE WERE LEFT WITH WAS SOMEWHERE IN THE REGION OF EIGHTEEN MILLION AT THE TIME OF THE NORMAN CONQUES T . $ #51 $ 03 EIGHTEEN MILLION ? $ BUT THAT 'S COMPLETELY AND UTTERLY RIDICULOUS , CASK . $ IN 1066 THE ENTIRE POPULATION OF THE BRITISH ISLES COULDN'T HAVE AMOUNTED TO MUCH MORE THAN A MILLION AND A HALF . $ AT THE VERY MOST . $ 04 THAT 'S RATHER HOW IT STRUCK US , SIR , TOO . $ 03 JUST DOESN'T ADD UP , DOES IT ? $ 04 IT 'S JUST POSSIBLE THAT THE OTHER SIXTEEN MILLION OR SO WERE OUT OF THE COUNTRY AT THE TIME , SIR . $ 03 IF THEY WERE , I 'M NOT SURE THAT IT DOESN'T RAISE MORE I SSUES THAN IT SETTLES , CASK . $ 04 I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN , SIR . $ 03 WHAT POSSIBLE REASON COULD MORE THAN SIXTEEN MILLION PEOP LE HAVE FOR BEING OUT OF THE COUNTRY JUST AT THAT PARTICULAR TIME ? $ 04 QUITE , SIR . $ WHEN THEY WERE WANTED FOR DOMESDAY BOOK , AMONGST OTHER THIN GS . $ 03 IT WOULD BEAR LOOKING INTO , CASK . $ THERE 'S NOT A WORD ABOUT IT HERE , OF COURSE . $ < ( LEAFING THROUGH . ) > $ HE SEEMS TO HAVE KEPT SUSPICIOUSLY QUIET ABOUT THE WHOLE BUS INESS . $ WHICH WOULD INDICATE THAT HE 'S GOT SOMETHING TO HIDE . $ 04 THERE IS , I SUPPOSE , THE REMOTE POSSIBILITY THAT THEY W ERE RESIDENT ABROAD . $ 03 SIXTEEN MILLION PEOPLE , CASK ? $ RESIDENT ABROAD ? $ TAKES A BIT OF SWALLOWING , DOESN'T IT ? $ 04 IT 'S ABOUT THE ONLY EXPLANATION THAT SEEMS TO FIT THE FA CTS , SIR . $ 03 WELL - ALL I CAN SAY IS THAT IF IT 'S TRUE , $ < PAUSE . > $ #52 $ THE WHOLE THING TAKES ON AN EVEN MORE DISQUIETING ASPECT THA N WE 'D BARGAINED FOR . $ 04 UNLESS , OF COURSE , HE 'S LYING , SIR . $ 03 ANY REASON TO SUPPOSE HE IS ? $ 04 ONLY THE INHERENT IMPROBABILITY BEHIND THE STORY , SIR . $ 03 YES . $ I SEE YOUR POINT , CASK . $ 04 EIGHTEEN MILLION AT THE NORMAN CONQUEST - WHAT MUST IT HA VE BEEN AT THE TIME OF CHRIST ? $ 03 ASTRONOMICAL , I SHOULD THINK , CASK . $ < HE FETCHES UP ONCE MORE AT THE CLOCK , AND FIXES IT WITH A SAGE STARE IN THE HOPE OF DRAWING INSPIRATION FROM IT . $ THEN HE TURNS AWAY . > $ 04 LET ALONE THE GARDEN OF EDEN . $ < HARKER STOPS , STARES IN THOUGHT AT THE FLOOR FOR A MOMENT , SAUNTERS TO THE TAPE MACHINE , ABSENT-MINDEDLY READS THE MESSAGE ON IT , AND THEN TURNS ROUND TO FACE CASK , LEANING AGAINST THE WALL BEHIND HIM . > $ 03 HOW MANY PEOPLE DO YOU UNDERSTAND THERE TO HAVE BEEN IN T HE GARDEN OF EDEN , CASK ? $ 04 WELL - JUST THE TWO , SIR . $ SO FAR AS I 'VE ALWAYS UNDERSTOOD . $ 03 < ( RETURNING TO THE DESK ) > $ YES . $ THAT 'S WHAT I THOUGHT . $ < HE SITS DOWN AT THE FILE ONCE AGAIN . > $ < ( CLOSING THE FILE ) > $ DISCREPANCY SOMEWHERE . $ < HE GETS UP , CROSSES TO THE PROJECTOR , AND SWITCHES IT ON . $ A PICTURE OF LEONARD IS THROWN ON TO THE SCREEN . > $ LET 'S HAVE ANOTHER LOOK AT THIS RATHER SLIPPERY GENTLEMAN . $ #53 $ < THEY STARE AT THE SCREEN IN SILENCE FOR A LONG TIME . > $ WHO WAS IT WE WERE THINKING HE MIGHT BE ? $ 04 XB97438 , SIR . $ < PAUSE. > $ 03 XB97438 BEING ... ? $ 04 XB97438 , SIR . $ HE 'S THE BRAINS BEHIND A VAST INTERNATIONAL ESPIONAGE NETWO RK COVERING THE WHOLE CIVILIZED WORLD , IF YOU REMEMBER , SI R . $ < THERE IS ANOTHER LONG SILENCE . $ HARKER GOES UP TO THE SCREEN TO SCRUTINIZE IT MORE CLOSELY . > $ 03 < ( POINTING AT LEONARD'S LEFT EAR ) > $ LOOKS LIKE AN EAR. $ 04 THAT 'S HOW IT STRUCK THE LAB. PEOPLE , TOO , SIR . $ 03 YES , $ WELL . $ 04 I DON'T KNOW WHETHER YOU 'D CARE TO LOOK AT MRS FAWCETT , WHILE WE 'RE HERE ? $ WE 'VE GOT HER IN TWO RATHER NICE POSES . $ 03 WHERE ARE THEY ? $ 04 HERE , SIR . $ 03 RIGHT . $ LET 'S SEE THEM , THEN . $ FOR WHAT IT 'S WORTH . . $ < CASK PROJECTS A PICTURE OF LILIAN . > $ YES . $ < CASK PROJECTS ANOTHER IDENTICAL PICTURE OF LILIAN . > $ LET ME SEE THE FIRST ONE AGAIN . $ < CASK PROJECTS THE FIRST PICTURE . > $ HAVE WE GOT ANYTHING ON HER ? $ 04 WELL - NO , SIR . $ NOT UNLESS SHE 'S A MRS J.R. PLUCKMYRTLE . $ 03 AND WHAT HAVE WE GOT ON HER ? $ #54 $ < CASK CROSSES TO THE CARD INDEX ON HARKER'S DESK AND FLIPS THROUGH IT . > $ 04 SHE 'S LISTED HERE , SIR , SOMEWHERE . $ < HARKER CONTINUES TO STARE AT THE SCREEN . > $ 03 I WONDER IF SHE COULD BE SOME SORT OF DECOY ? $ 04 I DON'T HONESTLY THINK SO , SIR , ACTUALLY . $ < ( WITH THE CARD . ) > $ HERE WE ARE , SIR . $ MRS JEZEBEL RUBY PLUCKMYRTLE . $ SARDINIA . $ 1929. $ GOATHERD'S MOLL . $ 03 YES . $ WE 'VE OBVIOUSLY GOT TO PLAY THIS VERY COOL . $ VERY COOL INDEED . $ < HE GOES THROUGH THE MOTIONS OF THINKING ON HIS FEET . > $ 03 AVOID ANYTHING THAT MIGHT AROUSE UNDUE SUSPICION . $ KEEP THEM GUESSING FOR A DAY OR TWO . $ THEN - AND ONLY THEN - I THINK WE MIGHT HAVE ONE OF THEM IN FOR INTERVIEW , CASK . $ THAT 'S HOW WE 'LL PLAY THIS ONE . $ 04 THAT 'S RATHER WHAT WE HAD IN MIND , IF YOU REMEMBER , SI R , WHEN WE SENT THE APPLICATION FORM OUT . $ 03 AND QUITE RIGHT TOO , CASK . $ THE SOONER WE GET ONE OF THEM OFFICIALLY ON THE STRENGTH , T HE SOONER WE CAN KEEP PROPER TABS ON THEM . $ 04 YES , SIR . $ 03 AND ANOTHER THING WE 'LL DO IS TO MAKE USE OF THE NEW GIR L . $ HILDA . $ 04 GELDA , SIR . $ 03 EXCELLENT OPPORTUNITY FOR HER TO PROVE HERSELF , CASK . $ 04 QUITE , SIR . $ 03 AS WELL AS GIVING US A HOLD OVER THE PLUCKMYRTLES . $ A FEW GOOD , UNEQUIVOCAL PICTURES WITH HIDDEN CAMERAS WHILE SHE 'S BUSY WITH HIM - AND I THINK WE MIGHT HAVE THIS PARTIC ULAR CUSTOMER EXACTLY WHERE WE WANT HIM , CASK . $ #55 $ 04 YES , SIR . $ 03 NOT MUCH WE CAN DO WHILE HE STAYS INDOORS , OF COURSE . $ BUT THE MOMENT HE SETS FOOT OUTSIDE , WE CAN START THINGS MO VING . $ HAVE HIM TAILED TILL HE 'S CLEAR OF THE HOUSE , SLIP HIM A ' LADY GODIVA AT HOME TO CALLERS ' CARD , AND AWAIT EVENTS . $ 04 YES , SIR . $ I 'M SURE YOU 'RE RIGHT . $ 03 OF COURSE I 'M RIGHT . $ IT 'S THE PERFECT ANSWER . $ < HE GOES TOWARDS HIS ROOM . > $ PUT IT IN HAND , CASK , WILL YOU ? $ 04 YES , SIR . $ < HARKER GOES INTO HIS ROOM , CLOSES THE DOOR , AND THEN OPE NS IT AGAIN . > $ 03 ANDREYEVSKY BOLSOVER GRIFFITHS . $ WHAT 'S HE DOING ? $ HE 'S THE MAN FOR A JOB LIKE THIS . $ PUT HIM ON TO IT . $ 04 YES . $ I ALREADY HAVE , SIR . $ 03 EXCELLENT CHAP FOR AN ASSIGNMENT OF THIS NATURE . $ 04 YES , SIR . $ HE IS . $ 03 FIRST CLASS MAN . $ HAS HE BEEN BRIEFED ? $ 04 I BRIEFED HIM MYSELF , SIR . $ TWENTY-FOUR HOURS AGO . $ 03 SO HE KNOWS WHAT HE 'S UP TO THEN . $ 04 I 'M QUITE SURE HE 'LL USE EVERY TRICK IN THE BOOK , SIR . $ 03 GOOD . $ LET 'S HOPE HE GETS RESULTS , THEN . $ < HARKER CLOSES THE DOOR AND CASK GATHERS UP THE FILE AND GO ES OUT WITH IT . > $ #56 $ < ACT TWO > $ < SCENE TWO > $ < THE LIVING-ROOM . $ LATE EVENING . $ LATER . $ ON LILIAN'S CHAIR , HALF UNWRAPPED , IS A PARCEL CONTAINING SOME TWO DOZEN BLACK NOTEBOOKS WITH PENCILS . $ A LARGE BOX STANDS ON THE FLOOR DOWN CENTRE . $ ON IT IS WRITTEN : THE ' EASI-PHIT ' - THE PART-TIME SECRET SERVICE SPECIAL AGENT'S HOME DISGUISE KIT . $ IN IT ARE FALSE BEARDS , EYEBROWS , WIGS , GLASSES , HATS , A YASHMAK OUTFIT , AND OTHER ITEMS . $ LEONARD IS CROUCHED IN FRONT OF A MIRROR . $ LILIAN COMES IN UNNOTICED BY LEONARD , LOOKS AT HIM FOR A FE W MOMENTS , AND THEN COMES DOWNSTAGE TO READ THE NOTICE ON T HE BOX . > $ 02 THERE 'S AN ART TO THAT , YOU KNOW . $ < LEONARD SPINS ROUND , STARTLED , AFTER HAVING PUT ON A SOU '-WESTER . $ UNDER IT HE HAS ON ONE FALSE EYEBROW , A PAIR OF PINCE-NEZ , A FALSE NOSE , AND A YASHMAK . $ HE IS ALSO WEARING AN ARMBAND ON WHICH IS WRITTEN : ' INTELL IGENCE AND SECURITY PART-TIME SPECIAL ' . $ 01 PRECISELY , LILIAN . $ PRECISELY . $ IT 'S PRECISELY BECAUSE THERE 'S AN ART TO IT THAT I 'M GETT ING MY HAND IN . $ < LEONARD SNATCHES OFF THE YASHMAK TO REVEAL A BLACK BEARD U NDERNEATH > $ 02 < ( SEEING THE PILE OF NOTEBOOKS ) > $ AND WHAT 'S ALL THIS , THEN ? $ < LEONARD HASTENS TO REMOVE THE NOTEBOOKS TO THE DESK , WHER E HE STACKS THEM IN NEAT PILES . > $ 01 I 'M JUST STOCKING UP . $ THERE 'S NO POINT IN BEING CAUGHT UNPREPARED ... $ I DON'T INTEND TO USE THEM ALL AT ONCE ... $ THEY 'RE BOUND TO WANT TO KNOW WHAT EXPERIENCE I 'VE HAD . $ #57 $ IN COLLECTING INFORMATION . $ 02 WHERE YOU THINK YOU 'RE GOING TO GET ENOUGH INFORMATION F ROM TO FILL UP THAT LOT . $ 01 YOU DON'T NEED TO GO VERY FAR TO GET VITAL INFORMATION . $ NOT IF YOU LOOK AROUND FOR IT . $ AND VISIT THE RIGHT PLACES . $ 02 LONDON'S UNDERWORLD , I SUPPOSE . $ 01 NOT NECESSARILY . $ THERE ARE PLENTY OF OTHER PLACES . $ ST PAUL'S CATHEDRAL , FOR INSTANCE . $ I DOUBT WHETHER THE OVERALL WIDTH OF THAT HAS EVER BEEN PROP ERLY NOTED DOWN IN ONE OF THOSE . $ 02 OR EVER LIKELY TO BE . $ 01 IT 'S JUST A MATTER OF GETTING MY HAND IN , LILIAN . $ THE LAST THING YOU WANT , IF THEY ASK YOU TO SHOW YOUR PACES , IS TO LET IT BE SEEN THAT YOU 'RE AN ABSOLUTE GREENHORN . $ < LEONARD HAS REMOVED EVERYTHING EXCEPT THE SOU'-WESTER , WH ICH HE HAS FORGOTTEN . $ HE GOES TOWARDS THE DOOR INTO THE HALL . > $ 01 THE VERY LAST THING . $ 02 I CAN'T SEE YOU LOOKING ANY LESS LIKE A GREEN HORN IN A S OU'-WESTER THAN OUT OF ONE . $ < HE TAKES IT OFF . > $ 01 MAYBE NOT . $ < HE GOES OUT AND COMES BACK INSIDE THE DOOR WITH A THIRD , VERY LARGE , PARCEL . > $ ALL THE SAME , YOU 'LL CONCEDE , I TAKE IT , THAT THERE MIGH T BE OCCASIONS WHEN AN AGENT IS CALLED UPON TO MAKE CONTACT WITH HIS OPPOSITE NUMBER IN THE POURING RAIN . $ < LEONARD GOES OUT . > $ #58 $ < PAUSE . $ LILIAN KNITS FOR A TIME IN SILENCE . $ THEN SHE SPEAKS TOWARDS THE HALL DOOR , WHERE SHE THINKS LEO NARD STILL IS . $ WE SEE HIM GO PAST THE OPEN UPSTAGE DOOR , WITH THE PARCEL . > $ 02 I HOPE YOU 'RE NOT GOING OUT SOMEWHERE . $ AT THIS TIME . $ < PAUSE . > $ BECAUSE IF IT 'S LONDON'S UNDERWORLD YOU 'RE THINKING OF GOI NG OUT LOOKING FOR , YOU 'D BE BETTER OFF LEAVING IT TO PEOP LE WHO KNOW WHAT THEY 'RE DOING . $ < PAUSE . > $ SOMEBODY LIKE YOU , HOBNOBBING WITH CROOKS AND GANGSTERS . $ THEY 'LL SEE YOU COMING . $ < PAUSE . > $ IT TAKES MORE THAN A SOU'WESTER AND A PAIR OF GLASSES TO GET YOURSELF ACCEPTED IN THOSE QUARTERS . $ < PAUSE . > $ LEONARD ! $ CAN YOU HEAR ME ? $ < SHE GETS UP TO INVESTIGATE . > $ I WISH I 'D NEVER MENTIONED LONDON'S UNDERWORLD IN THE FIRST PLACE . $ < SHE LOOKS INTO THE HALL AND TURNS BACK PUZZLED . $ AS SHE DOES SO , LEONARD APPEARS IN THE DOORWAY AT THE BACK . $ HE IS WEARING A BEAR'S SKIN , WITH THE ARMBAND ON , HAS AN O LD RAINCOAT OVER HIS ARM , AND IS CARRYING A GREY TRILBY HAT . $ < ( AFTER A PAUSE . ) > $ I ONLY HOPE THAT HASN'T GOT THE MOTH IN IT . $ < PAUSE . $ LEONARD GOES TO THE DOOR AND OUT INTO THE HALL . > $ #59 $ YOU 'RE NOT INTENDING TO BE SEEN OUT IN IT , ARE YOU ? $ < LEONARD COMES BACK IN , WITHOUT THE HAT AND RAINCOAT , AND STARTS GETTING OUT OF THE SKIN . $ LILIAN HELPS HIM , BY UNZIPPING IT . > $ IF YOU WERE GOING TO A FANCY DRESS BALL , THERE MIGHT BE SOM E POINT IN IT . $ 01 I WAS TRYING IT ON FOR SIZE , LILIAN . $ THAT 'S ALL . $ 02 WHAT CIRCLES YOU EXPECT A THING LIKE THAT TO GIVE YOU THE ENTREE INTO , I CAN'T IMAGINE . $ 01 THE BEAR HAPPENS TO BE THE NATIONAL EMBLEM OF A RATHER LA RGE AND NOT ALTOGETHER UNINFLUENTIAL COUNTRY . $ < HE STEPS OUT OF THE SKIN AND IS IN HIS SOCKS . > $ 02 GET SOMETHING ON YOUR FEET , LEONARD . $ PLEASE . $ 01 I 'M JUST DOING SO . $ < HE GOES OUT TO THE BACK . > $ < ( OFF ) > $ WEAR A THING LIKE THAT IN MOSCOW , AND YOU COULD GO ANYWHERE . $ IF YOU PLAYED YOUR CARDS RIGHT . $ < HE COMES BACK IN , WITH HIS BOOTS ON , AND CROSSES TO THE OTHER DOOR . > $ 01 STRAIGHT INTO THE KREMLIN AND NO QUESTIONS ASKED . $ < HE GOES OUT . > $ 02 I CAN JUST SEE YOU GETTING THAT KIND OF ASSIGNMENT . $ AS A PART-TIME SPECIAL . $ < PAUSE . $ LEONARD , IN THE OLD RAINCOAT AND GREY TRILBY HAT , COMES IN AND STUFFS HIS POCKETS FULL OF NOTEBOOKS . > $ 01 EXPECT ME IN FOR BREAKFAST . $ < HE GOES . > $ 02 WHY YOU NEED TO BE GOING OUT AT ALL , I CAN'T FOR THE LIF E OF ME IMAGINE . $ #60 $ 01 < ( OFF ) > $ IT 'S A MATTER OF GETTING PROPERLY AU FAIT WITH THE MODUS OP ERANDI , LILIAN . $ THAT 'S ALL . $ IN READINESS . $ < WE HEAR THE FRONT DOOR OPEN AND CLOSE . $ LILIAN STARTS TIDYING UP THE DISGUISES . > $ 02 MOOCHING ABOUT FROM ONE SLEAZY HAUNT TO ANOTHER . $ WITHOUT SO MUCH AS A STREET GUIDE TO SHOW HIM HIS WAY AROUND . $ AND THEN WONDERS WHY HIS FEET PAY HIM OUT . $ < ACT TWO > $ < SCENE THREE > $ < A SOHO ALLEYWAY . $ SAME . $ LEONARD , DRESSED EXACTLY AS WHEN HE LEFT THE HOUSE IN THE P REVIOUS SCENE , HAS BEEN CORNERED BY ANDREYEVSKY , WHO HAS A SUITCASE FULL OF LARGE BROWN ENVELOPES OPEN ON THE GROUND , AND IS OFFERING ONE TO LEONARD . > $ 06 A BARGAIN , REALLY . $ AT THE PRICE . $ HARDLY USED . $ 01 YES . $ NOT A BAD SIZE , I SUPPOSE . $ ANYBODY WANTING THAT SIZE . $ 06 NICE WEIGHT , TOO . $ FEEL IT - IN YOUR HAND . $ NOT TOO SMALL , NOT TOO BIG . $ 01 YES . $ I SEE WHAT YOU MEAN . $ 06 SELL A LOT OF THOSE . $ CONNOISSEURS AND PEOPLE . $ < PAUSE . > $ ONE OF THE BEST SIZES THEY BRING OUT . $ IN MY OPINION . $ < PAUSE . > $ SOLD A TREAT IN ANCIENT GREECE THAT WOULD HAVE DONE . $ #61 $ 01 IT WOULD ? $ 06 OH , YES . $ NOT TOO LONG , NOT TOO BROAD . $ THEY 'D GO FOR THAT . $ CLASSICAL , YOU SEE . $ 01 AH . $ 06 LIKE THE PARTHENON . $ EVER SEE THE PARTHENON ? $ 01 NO , I CAN'T SAY I HAVE . $ 06 BEAUTIFUL SIZE . $ 01 YES ? $ 06 NOT TOO LONG , NOT TOO BROAD . $ THAT 'S WHAT DOES IT , YOU SEE . $ PROPORTION . $ LENGTH . $ AGAINST WIDTH . $ 01 WHAT ARE YOU ASKING FOR THIS ? $ IF IT 'S NOT A RUDE QUESTION . $ 06 TOW GUINEAS . $ < PAUSE . > $ THEY WERE HOT ON ANYTHING CLASSICAL IN THOSE DAYS OF COURSE . $ 01 YES ... I ... $ 06 GIVE THEM ANYTHING THAT WASN'T CLASSICAL AND THEY WOULDN' T LOOK AT IT . $ < PAUSE . > $ ONE OF THE THINGS THEY 'RE NOTED FOR . $ THE ANCIENT GREEKS . $ MORE THAN ANYTHING ELSE . $ < PAUSE . > $ TRADITION . $ < PAUSE . > $ THAT 'S WHY THEY 'D HAVE GONE FOR THAT , OF COURSE . $ 01 YOU THINK THEY WOULD ? $ 06 BUFF ENVELOPE THAT SIZE ? $ THEY 'D HAVE GONE MAD . $ 01 REALLY ? $ 06 THEY 'D HAVE BEEN FIGHTING IN THE STREETS FOR IT . $ #62 $ 01 YES . $ WELL ... $ 06 IF I 'D TURNED UP IN ATHENS WITH THAT ENVELOPE I 'D HAVE BEEN MOBBED . $ 01 I WONDER ... $ BEFORE I SETTLE FOR IT , I WONDER IF I COULD BY ANY CHANCE G IVE IT A TRIAL ? $ 06 DO . $ BY ALL MEANS . $ GIVE IT ANY TRIAL YOU LIKE . $ 01 ONLY I 'D LIKE TO BE ABSOLUTLEY SURE BEFORE I TAKE THE PL UNGE . $ 06 OF COURSE . $ TRY IT OUT . $ IT 'S THE ONLY WAY . $ YOU WON'T TELL OTHERWISE . $ 01 NO ... $ 06 PUT IT IN THE POST . $ HAND IT OVER THE COUNTER . $ STAND IT BEHIND THE CLOCK ON THE MANTELPIECE . $ SEE HOW IT SHAPES UP . $ 01 THANK YOU . $ I WILL . $ 06 IF YOU THINK YOU 'D LIKE IT , COME BACK AND WE 'LL CLINCH THE DEAL . $ 01 THAT 'S VERY KIND OF YOU . $ < ANDREYEVSKY TAKES A SMALLER WHITE ENVELOPE FROM HIS POCKET . > $ 06 OH - AND HERE 'S A SMALLER ENVELOPE YOU CAN PUT INSIDE IF YOU WANT TO . $ NO CHARGE FOR THAT . $ PRESENT FROM THE MANAGEMENT . $ 01 OH . $ < ( JOCULARLY . ) > $ NOT A SPRAT TO CATCH A MACKEREL , I TRUST . $ 06 NO , NO . $ JUST A TOKEN OF GOODWILL . $ YOU DON'T HAVE TO GIVE IT BACK . $ 01 IT 'S ADDRESSED TO SOMEBODY . $ DOES THAT MATTER ? $ MINISTRY OF INTELLIGENCE AND SECURITY . $ 06 OH , THAT 'S JUST ... NOTHING . $ IT 'S ... $ < ( HE WAVES A HAND ) > $ ... FORGET IT . $ 01 RIGHT . $ < ( GETTING UP ) > $ AND I 'LL BE BACK WHEN I 'VE TRIED THIS OUT , THEN . $ #63 $ 06 I HOPE YOU FIND IT SATISFACTORY . $ < ANDREYEVSKY CLOSES HIS SUITCASE . > $ 01 ARE YOU COMING MY WAY ? $ 06 NO . $ I 'VE GOT ONE OR TWO MORE CALLS TO MAKE . $ 01 SEE YOU IN A WEEK'S TIME , THEN . $ 06 LOOK FORWARD TO IT . $ GOOD-BYE . $ 01 GOOD-BYE . $ < ANDREYEVSKY GOES OFF . $ LEONARD STANDS LOOKING ROUND , THEN WITH A CAUTIOUS GLANCE O VER HIS SHOULDER , OPENS THE ENVELOPE . $ HE TAKES OUT THE CARD INSIDE , AND READS IT . $ < ( READING FROM CARD ) > $ LADY GODIVA AT HOME TO CALLERS BY SPECIAL INVITATION . $ ROOM 293 B . $ ANY TIME . $ DAY OR NIGHT . $ TWENTY-FOUR HOURS' SERVICE . $ < GELDA APPEARS IN A WHITE COAT . $ SHE TAKES THE CARD FORM HIM AND LEADS HIM OUT . > $ 05 ROOM 293B ? $ DO COME IN . $ I 'LL TAKE YOU UP IN THE LIFT . $ < THEY GO OFF . > $ < ACT TWO > $ < SCENE FOUR > $ < THE OFFICE . $ SAME . $ CASK IS ON THE TELEPHONE , TAKING NOTES . > $ 04 < ( INTO 'PHONE ) > $ YES . $ ... YES . $ ... YES . $ ... YES ... $ DO I UNDERSTAND , MRS ... $ < ( HE HUNTS FOR THE NAME ON A PIECE OF PAPER . ) > $ CROUCHLEAPER , THAT YOU HAVE EVIDENCE THAT THEY WERE LANDED AT SCARBOROUGH BY SUBMARINE ? $ #64 $ ... NOT AT ALL , IT 'S SIMPLY ... $ YES . $ IT 'S SIMPLY THAT IT 'S UNUSUAL FOR THIS TO HAPPEN ... $ GOOD HEAVENS , NO , MRS CROUCHLEAPER . $ I 'M NOT DOUBTING YOUR WORD AT ALL . $ ... WE CERTAINLY WILL LOOK INTO IT . $ ... OH , YES . $ ... YOU DID RIGHT TO LET US KNOW ... $ WE WILL . $ ... MOST CERTAINLY WE WILL ... $ YES . $ ABSOLUTELY THE RIGHT THING ... $ WE 'RE VERY GRATEFUL THAT YOU WERE PUBLIC-SPIRITED ENOUGH TO ... $ YES , INDEED , MRS CROUCHLEAPER ... $ AND THANK YOU FOR ... $ YES . $ GOOD-BYE , MRS ... $ INDEED WE WILL . $ ... GOOD-BYE , MRS CROUCHLEAPER . $ < HARKER HAS COME IN TOWARDS THE END OF THE CONVERSATION . > $ 04 < ( TO HARKER ) > $ SIXTEEN OSTRICHES LANDED BY SUBMARINE ON THE EAST COAST NEAR SCARBOROUGH . $ SOUNDS A BIT UNLIKELY , DOESN'T IT , SIR ? $ 03 WHAT HAVE WE GOT UP THERE ? $ 04 NOTHING THAT WE 'VE SO FAR BEEN ABLE TO TRACK DOWN , SIR . $ 03 EAST COAST NEAR SCARBOROUGH . $ ISN'T THAT WHERE THE TRAWLERS ARE HANGING ABOUT ? $ OFFSHORE ? $ 04 THAT 'S RIGHT , SIR . $ AND THERE 'S ALSO THAT GROUP OF COSSACKS WE LOCATED ON THE M OORS UP THERE . $ WITH FIVE PAIRS OF BINOCULARS BETWEEN THREE OF THEM . $ WE NEVER PINNED DOWN WHAT THEY WERE AFTER , EITHER . $ 03 ISN'T THERE A RIDING SCHOOL UP THERE ? $ 04 THERE ARE SEVERAL , SIR . $ 03 COSSACKS . $ RIDING SCHOOLS . $ THERE 'S A CONNECTION THERE , CASK . $ SOMEWHERE . $ 04 WE RATHER DISMISSED THAT IDEA , SIR , IF YOU REMEMBER . $ #65 $ 03 WHAT IDEA ? $ 04 THAT THE COSSACKS MIGHT BE TAKING TOO MUCH INTEREST IN OU R HORSEMANSHIP TRAINING METHODS , SIR . $ WE DECIDED IT WAS RATHER TOO OBVIOUS A BLIND , SIR . $ 03 GET US ALL LEGGING IT UP AS FAST AS WE CAN TO SCARBOROUGH , SO THAT THEY CAN SEND SOMEBODY SHINNING UP NELSON'S COLUM N WITH A NOTEBOOK AND TAPE-MEASURE WHILE OUR BACKS ARE TURNE D . $ 04 ROUGHLY THAT , SIR . $ 03 YES . $ MUST BE SOMETHING UP THERE , CASK . $ OTHERWISE , WHY SCARBOROUGH EVERY TIME ? $ 04 WE 'VE COMBED THE AREA , SIR , FOR CLUES AS TO WHAT IT MI GHT BE THAT THEY KNOW ABOUT AND WE AS YET DON'T - BUT YOU KN OW WHAT IT 'S LIKE WITH THESE CLASS ONE SPECIAL PRIORITY EME RGENCY RAINBOW TOP SECRET PROJECTS , SIR . $ 03 IF ENEMY INTELLIGENCE CAN FIND OUT WHAT THEY ARE , CASK , I SHOULD HAVE THOUGHT IT WAS INCUMBENT ON US TO PUT UP SOME SORT OF A SHOW OURSELVES IN THE SAME DIRECTION . $ 04 WE 'VE GOT AS MANY OF OUR BEST PEOPLE UP THERE AS WE CAN SPARE , SIR . $ 03 I MEAN , WE KNOW ALL ABOUT RULE 93B . $ BUT RULE 93B WAS NEVER MEANT TO BE A CLOAK FOR GENUINE INCOM PETENCE . $ AND IN ANY CASE IT 'S AMPLY CATERED FOR ALREADY BY QUESTIONS IN THE HOUSE , FULMINATIONS IN THE PRESS , ROYAL COMMISSION S , SPY TRIALS , AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT ELSE . $ THE FACT IS , CASK , THAT IN THIS COUNTRY WE HAVE THE FINEST APPARATUS FOR HOODWINKING THE ENEMY THAT EXISTS ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD . $ #66 $ 04 I 'M SURE WE HAVE , SIR . $ 03 AND I THINK WE CAN SAY WE 'VE MADE FULL AND EFFECTIVE USE OF IT TO CREATE AN IMAGE WE CAN BE JUSTLY PROUD OF . $ AS A BUNCH OF BUMBLINGLY INCOMPETENT OLD WOMEN . $ 04 YES , SIR . $ 03 IT 'S AN IMAGE WHICH IS OF INCALCULABLE VALUE , CASK . $ BEHIND WHICH THE REAL WORK CAN GO ON UNHAMPERED . $ AND IT 'S ONE WHICH WE MUST DO ALL IN OUR POWER TO PRESERVE . $ 04 QUITE , SIR . $ 03 SHORT , HOWEVER , OF ACTUALLY LIVING UP TO IT . $ WHICH WE 'RE IN GRAVE DANGER OF DOING OVER THIS SCARBOROUGH BUSINESS , CASK . $ 04 THAT 'S VERY TRUE , SIR . $ 03 TRAWLERS , COSSACKS , OSTRICHES . $ IT MUST TIE UP SOMEHOW , CASK . $ IF WE ADDRESS OURSELVES TO THE PROBLEM . $ 04 IT 'S DIFFICULT TO KNOW WHERE TO START , REALLY , SIR . $ 03 THIS WOMAN , FOR INSTANCE . $ DO WE KNOW WHO SHE IS ? $ 04 MRS CROUCHLEAPER ? $ SHE 'S , AS FAR AS I KNOW , SIR , A LOCAL HOUSEWIFE . $ 03 I MEAN , ARE WE REASONABLY CERTAIN THAT SHE ISN'T SOMEONE TOTALLY DIFFERENT , WHO HAPPENS TO HAVE THE SAME NAME ? $ 04 WELL , SIR ... $ 03 THAT 'S THE KIND OF POSSIBILITY THAT ALL TOO EASILY GETS OVERLOOKED . $ 04 I DON'T IN THIS CASE , SIR ... $ 03 OR FOR THAT MATTER HAVE YOU EXPLORED THE OTHER POSSIBILIT Y THAT THE OSTRICHES SHE 'S CLAIMING TO HAVE SEEN WERE IN FA CT KIDNAPPED BY A GANG OF WILD-LIFE ENTHUSIASTS AND DUMPED T HERE ON ORDERS FROM AN UNNAMED FOREIGN POWER ? $ #67 $ 04 WELL ... $ 03 OR SIMPLY BECAUSE THE TRAIL WAS GETTING TOO HOT . $ 04 THEY DID SPECIFICALLY HAVE THEIR HEADS IN THE SAND , SIR , ON THE THREE SEPARATE OCCASIONS SHE SAW THEM . $ 03 AND WHERE DOES THAT GET US ? $ 04 I THINK IT 'S A PRETTY FAIR INFERENCE , SIR , THAT THEY W ERE ON THE LOOK-OUT FOR SUBVERSIVE UNDERGROUND ACTIVITIES . $ 03 DO YOU THINK THEY WERE ? $ 04 IT 'S AT LEAST ON THE CARDS , SIR . $ 03 YES . $ I ALMOST HOPE YOU 'RE RIGHT , CASK . $ ONE GETS A LITTLE JITTERY AT TIMES . $ AT WHAT ONE MIGHT HAVE UNWITTINGLY LAID ONESELF OPEN TO , IN AN UNGUARDED MOMENT . $ 04 IN THE WAY OF INVESTIGATION , SIR ? $ 03 BY ONE'S OWN SIDE , CASK , YES . $ 04 I DOUBT , SIR , WHETHER THEY 'D SEND OSTRICHES ALL THE WA Y TO SCARBOROUGH BY SUBMARINE , IN ORDER TO CHECK ON THE MOV EMENTS OF THE HEAD OF SECURITY IN LONDON . $ IT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE . $ 03 STRANGE THINGS CAN HAPPEN , CASK . $ STRANGE THINGS CAN HAPPEN . $ ONE 'S HAD SIMILAR EXPERIENCES TOO OFTEN , NOT TO GET A LITT LE APPREHENSIVE . $ 04 ALL THE SAME , SIR ... $ 03 HARD SOMETIMES NOT TO LOSE FAITH , CASK . $ FAITH IN ONESELF , FAITH IN WHAT ONE 'S DOING . $ PERHAPS IT 'S AS WELL NOT TO DWELL TOO MUCH ON IT , SIR . $ 03 IN FACT THERE 'S A GREAT TEMPTATION , SOMETIMES , TO PUT AN END ONCE AND FOR ALL TO THE STRUGGLE . $ #68 $ 04 YOU MEAN ... ? $ 03 SIMPLY DENOUNCE ONESELF PUBLICLY AS A SECURITY RISK , CAS K . $ 04 I DON'T THINK , SIR ... $ 03 WHICH , LET 'S FACE IT , CASK , I AM . $ 04 THAT 'S PERFECTLY TRUE , SIR , BUT ... $ 03 I KNOW , CASK . $ I KNOW WHAT YOU 'RE GOING TO SAY . $ NOTHING WORSE FOR UNDERMINING PUBLIC CONFIDENCE . $ 04 THE WHOLE FABRIC WOULD CRUMBLE UNDER US ! $ 03 YES . $ IT 'S THE ONE THING THAT KEEPS MY LIPS SEALED . $ THE THOUGHT OF THE REPERCUSSIONS IT COULD HAVE . $ 04 I THINK THEY 'D BE RATHER WIDESPREAD , SIR . $ 03 RATHER TOUCHING , CASK , ISN'T IT ? $ THE FAITH PEOPLE HAVE IN ONE . $ < CASK'S 'PHONE RINGS . $ HE PICKS IT UP . > $ 04 IT IS , SIR . $ < ( INTO 'PHONE ) > $ YES ? $ ... OH . $ RIGHT . $ THANK YOU . $ < ( HE PUTS THE 'PHONE DOWN . $ TO HARKER ) > $ THE PRESS , SIR . $ THEY 'RE WAITING FOR US DOWNSTAIRS NOW . $ < HARKER LOOKS BEMUSED . > $ 04 WE PROMISED THEM A STATEMENT , SIR . $ IF YOU REMEMBER . $ ON THE NEW POLICY LINE . $ 03 WE DID ? $ 04 I 'VE GOT IT HERE , SIR , IF YOU WANT TO REFRESH YOUR MEM ORY . $ 03 LET ME SEE . $ < CASK HANDS A TYPED SHEET TO HARKER > $ < ( READING ) > $ " AS A GESTURE OF CONFIDENCE IN THE ECONOMIC SYSTEM WHICH WE ON THIS SIDE OF THE IRON CURTAIN ARE PLEDGED TO DEFEND , IT IS PROPOSED THAT THE WHOLE OF OUR INTELLIGENCE AND SECURITY SERVICES BE HANDED OVER TO PRIVATE ENTERPRISE . " $ #69 $ YES . $ < HARKER AND CASK GO OUT INTO THE CORRIDOR , AS GELDA AND LE ONARD COME IN THROUGH THE OTHER DOOR . $ GELDA HAS A LONG WHITE COAT , AND GOES TO A SHELF FOR A FORM . > $ 05 I 'M SORRY ABOUT THIS , MR. FAWCETT . $ BUT WE HAVE TO DO IT , IN ORDER TO SATISFY THE POWERS THAT B E . $ THEY MAKE A LOT OF FUSS IF WE DON'T . $ IT 'S JUST TO SAY YOU 'RE QUITE SATISFIED WITH THE WAY IT 'S GONE . $ 01 YES . $ OF COURSE . $ 05 IF YOU COULD SIGN THERE AND THERE . $ 01 < ( SIGNING ) > $ HERE ? $ 05 AND THERE . $ 01 WELL , THANK YOU VERY MUCH , MISS ... $ 05 GELDA . $ IT 'S WHAT I 'M KNOWN AS WHILE I 'M DUTY . $ 01 ... GELDA . $ FOR YOUR VERY WELCOME MINISTRATIONS . $ IT 'S ... A VERY GREAT RELIEF . $ < LEONARD THROUGHOUT BEHAVES WITH WHAT HE IMAGINES TO BE OLD -WORLD COURTESY , MINGLING WITH IT A STIFFLY WAGGISH GALLANT RY , NONE OF WHICH EVER BEGINS TO COME OFF . $ GELDA IS AT FIRST TRYING GENTLY TO GET HIM OUT , BUT THEN GI VES UP AND LETS HIM GO ON , SLIGHTLY PLAYING UP TO HIM , AMU SED AND CURIOUS AND SYMPATHETIC . > $ 05 I 'M GLAD . $ 01 YOU 'VE BEEN MOST EXPERT . $ 05 OH ... $ 01 SKILFUL HANDLING . $ IT MAKES ALL THE DIFFERENCE . $ I 'M VERY GRATEFUL . $ 05 IT WAS NOTHING , REALLY . $ 01 ON THE CONTRARY . $ YOU 'VE BEEN A GREAT HELP . $ A VERY GREAT HELP . $ I DON'T KNOW WHAT I SHOULD HAVE DONE WITHOUT YOU . $ #70 $ 05 IT 'S NICE OF YOU TO SAY SO , BUT ... $ 01 NO . $ IT 'S TRUE . $ I 'M VERY GREATLY INDEBTED TO YOU . $ 05 IT WAS NOTHING AT ALL . $ REALLY . $ 01 OH , YES . $ YOU 'RE BEING FAR TOO MODEST ABOUT IT . $ 05 ME ? $ GOODNESS . $ I 'D NEVER THOUGHT OF MYSELF AS BEING MODEST , I MUST SAY . $ 01 FAR TOO MODEST . $ 05 THE VERY LAST THING I SHOULD HAVE SAID ABOUT MYSELF . $ 01 THE MOST MODEST WOMAN I 'VE EVER HAD THE PLEASURE OF MEE TING . $ BY FAR . $ 05 WELL - IT 'S VERY FLATTERING TO BE TOLD SO , BUT IT ISN'T TRUE , I 'M AFRAID . $ I ONLY WISH IT WERE . $ 01 YOU 'RE TOO MODEST ABOUT IT . $ 05 AM I ? $ 01 YOU SHOULD BE PROUD OF YOUR MODESTY . $ 05 OH - I DON'T ... $ 01 YOU PLAY YOURSELF DOWN TOO MUCH . $ 05 PERHAPS I DO . $ IT 'S JUST THAT I 'M NOT VERY GOOD AT SINGING MY OWN PRAISES , I SUPPOSE . $ 01 NONSENSE . $ YOU COULD SING THEM AS WELL AS ANYONE ELSE IF YOU TRIED . $ 05 YOU THINK SO ? $ 01 BETTER , PROBABLY , THAN A GOOD MANY OF THEM . $ 05 YOU MAY BE RIGHT . $ IT 'S JUST THAT I 'VE NEVER LOOKED ON MYSELF AS BEING A PART ICULARLY BOASTFUL SORT OF PERSON , THAT 'S ALL . $ 01 YOU ? $ NOT A BOASTFUL PERSON ? $ 05 GOOD HEAVENS , NO . $ 01 COME NOW . $ 05 I 'M JUST ABOUT AS MODEST AS ANYONE COULD BE . $ #71 $ 01 MODEST ? $ 05 TERRIBLY MODEST . $ IT 'S A ... JOKE WITH PEOPLE . $ I 'M JUST ABOUT AS FAR AT THE OTHER END OF THE SCALE FROM BE ING BOASTFUL AS YOU COULD POSSIBLY GET . $ 01 WELL - ALL I CAN SAY IS THAT APPEARANCES ARE VERY DECEPTI VE . $ 05 THEY OFTEN ARE , AREN'T THEY ? $ 01 I SHOULD HAVE BACKED YOU AGAINST PRACTICALLY ANYBODY . $ 05 NO . $ NOT ME . $ 01 < ( WAGGING A FINGER ) > $ ARE YOU SURE YOU 'RE NOT BEING UNDULY MODEST ? $ 05 NO . $ IT 'S PERFECTLY TRUE . $ REALLY . $ YOU CAN ASK ANYONE . $ THEY ' LL ALL SAY THE SAME . $ IT 'S THE THING EVERYBODY NOTICES ABOUT ME WHEN THEY FIRST M EET ME . $ 01 < ( PATTING THE BACK OF HER HAND ) > $ I THINK YOU 'RE JUST BEING UNDULY MODEST . $ 05 WELL ... $ 01 AND I 'M STICKING TO MY OPINION , TOO . $ 05 IF YOU INSIST , MR FAWCETT . $ 01 LEONARD IS THE ... $ 05 WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO BOOK AN APPOINTMENT FOR YOU FOR NEXT MONTH ? $ 01 ER ... YES , PLEASE . $ 05 AT THE SAME TIME ON THE EIGHTEENTH ? $ 01 THAT WOULD BE EXCELLENT . $ THANK YOU . $ 05 AND MEANWHILE , IF YOU COULD TRY TO THROW MORE OF YOUR WE IGHT ON TO THE BALL OF YOUR FOOT , MR FAWCETT , WHEN WALKING , RATHER THAN ON THE EXTREME OUTSIDE EDGE OF THE SMALL TOE , AS YOU 'RE DOING AT PRESENT , I THINK YOU 'LL FIND IT WILL HELP TO KEEP THE TENDONS FROM GETTING OVERSTRETCHED , AS WE LL AS AVOIDING A RECURRENCE OF THE BLISTERS . $ #72 $ 01 OH . $ YES . $ RIGHT . $ I 'LL DO THAT . $ 05 AND NEXT TIME , AS WELL AS THE TWO CORNS ON THE BIG TOE , WE 'LL SEE WHETHER WE CAN DO ANYTHING TO TONE UP THE MUSCLE S OF THE HEEL AND INSTEP . $ 01 THANK YOU . $ THANK YOU VERY MUCH . $ 05 GOOD-BYE , THEN , MR FAWCETT . $ 01 GOOD-BYE ... GELDA . $ AND ... VERY GRATEFUL ... $ 05 NOT AT ALL . $ < SHE FINALLY MANAGES TO CLOSE THE DOOR ON LEONARD , STANDS FOR A MOMENT OR TWO COLLECTING HERSELF TOGETHER , AND THEN W ITH A SHRUG CROSSES BRISKLY AND OUT INTO THE ADJOINING OFFIC E . > $ < ACT TWO > $ < SCENE FIVE > $ < THE FAWCETTS' LIVING-ROOM . $ MORNING . $ NEXT DAY . $ THE TELEPHONE HAS BEEN MOVED FROM THE HALL TO THE LIVING-ROO M . $ ON THE MANTELPIECE IS AN ENVELOPE SIMILAR TO THE ONE THAT AN DREYEVSKY FOISTED ON TO LEONARD , EXCEPT THAT IT IS OVERPRIN TED IN RED WITH THE WORDS : " TOP SECRET . $ PHOTOGRAPHS WITH CARE . " $ LEONARD IS SITTING AT THE BREAKFAST TABLE . $ LILIAN , WHO HAS FINISHED HER OWN BREAKFAST , COMES IN WITH A BOILED EGG FOR LEONARD . > $ 02 ALL NIGHT LONG , HEAVEN ONLY KNOWS WHERE . $ < SHE PUTS THE EGG DOWN IN FRONT OF HIM . > $ < ( GOING OUT AGAIN . ) > $ AND YOU 'RE NOT A WHIT THE WISER FOR IT . $ #73 $ 01 IT ISN'T A QUESTION OF THAT , LILIAN . $ AS I KEEP TELLING YOU , YOU PICK UP THE ATMOSPHERE . $ < PAUSE . > $ 02 < ( RETURNING ) > $ I SHOULD HARDLY HAVE THOUGHT IT WAS WORTH STAYING OUT ALL NI GHT FOR . $ 01 IT IS IF THERE 'S SOMETHING TO BE GAINED FROM IT . $ < LILIAN SITS AND PICKS UP THE PAPER . > $ 02 AS LONG AS YOU FEEL YOU HAVE . $ < PAUSE . > $ 01 THERE 'S NO SUBSTITUTE FOR BEING ON THE SPOT WHEN THINGS ARE HAPPENING . $ IT 'S ONE OF THE FIRST RULES YOU HAVE TO LEARN IN THIS GAME . $ < PAUSE . > $ 02 AND WHAT DID HAPPEN ? $ 01 LAST NIGHT ? $ NOTHING . $ IN PARTICULAR . $ AS IT TURNED OUT . $ < PAUSE . > $ APART FROM THE GENERAL AMBIENCE . $ < PAUSE . > $ 02 SOHO , I SUPPOSE . $ 01 ROUND THERE , YES . $ THAT AREA . $ < PAUSE . > $ 02 NOT EXACTLY THE MOST SALUBRIOUS OF NEIGHBOURHOODS . $ I MUST SAY . $ TO SPEND THE SMALL HOURS IN . $ < PAUSE . > $ ISN'T THAT WHERE ALL THE SLEAZY HAUNTS ARE ? $ 01 THERE 'S ... ONE OR TWO , YES . $ 02 I THOUGHT SO . $ < PAUSE . > $ TRUDGING ROUND FROM ONE TO ANOTHER ALL NIGHT . $ < LEONARD HAS A MOMENTARY SPASM OF ALARM , BUT IT GOES WHEN HE SEES LILIAN CONTINUE READING . > $ #74 $ JUST SO THAT YOU CAN TELL THEM YOU 'VE DONE A TOUR OF DUTY S OMEWHERE IN LONDON'S WEST END . $ < PAUSE . > $ WHAT ON EARTH YOU WERE EXPECTING TO FIND . $ AT THAT HOUR . $ IN PITCH DARKNESS . $ < PAUSE . > $ IF IT WAS THE STRANGE , TWILIGHT WORLD OF LONDON'S CROOKS AN D GANGSTERS YOU WERE LOOKING FOR , I SHOULD HAVE THOUGHT YOU 'D HAVE BEEN BETTER OFF DOING IT IN DAYLIGHT . $ 01 THEY DON'T OPERATE IN DAYLIGHT , LILIAN . $ < PAUSE . > $ 02 SO IT WAS THE STRANGE , TWILIGHT WORLD OF CROOKS AND GANG STERS YOU WERE OUT LOOKING FOR , THEN . $ 01 I WAS ... KEEPING MY EYES OPEN , YES . $ 02 I THOUGHT THAT 'S WHAT YOU 'D BEEN UP TO . $ < PAUSE . > $ IF I 'D KNOWN THAT 'S WHAT YOU WERE GOING TO DO , I COULD HA VE TOLD YOU IN ADVANCE TO LEAVE IT TILL THERE WAS ENOUGH LIG HT TO SEE BY . $ 01 YES - AND DEFEAT THE WHOLE PURPOSE OF THE OPERATION . $ I KEEP TRYING TO EXPLAIN TO YOU , LILIAN . $ IT 'S GOT TO BE DONE UNDER COVER OF DARKNESS . $ 02 I DON'T SEE WHY . $ 01 BECAUSE IT SO HAPPENS , LILIAN , THAT IT 'S UNDER COVER O F DARKNESS THAT THE GRIM AND SINISTER DRAMA OF INTERNATIONAL ESPIONAGE IS PLAYED OUT ! $ THAT 'S ALL . $ < PAUSE . > $ I 'M NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR IT . $ IT JUST HAPPENS LIKE THAT . $ #75 $ < PAUSE . > $ 02 WE KNOW IT DOES , LEONARD . $ WE KNOW THEY PLAY OUT THE GRIM AND SINISTER DRAMA OF INTERNA TIONAL ESPIONAGE UNDER COVER OF DARKNESS . $ 01 WELL , THEN . $ 02 AND ALWAYS HAVE DONE ... $ WHEN IT SUITS THEM TO . $ < PAUSE . > $ THEY DON'T PLAY IT OUT EVERY SINGLE NIGHT OF THE YEAR . $ WET OR FINE . $ JUST TO PLEASE ANY CHANCE VISITOR WHO MIGHT HAPPEN TO STRAY IN AND WANTS TO SEE THEM AT IT . $ < PAUSE . > $ 01 FOR ANY CHANCE VISITOR , LILIAN , MAYBE NOT . $ < PAUSE . > $ 02 AND I CAN'T SEE THEM MAKING A SPECIAL POINT OF PLAYING IT OUT THERE AND THEN , THE MOMENT YOU PUT YOUR NOSE INSIDE TH E DOOR , JUST BECAUSE YOU HAPPEN TO HAVE AN ARMBAND IN YOUR POCKET , WITH INTELLIGENCE AND SECURITY WRITTEN ON IT . $ < PAUSE . > $ IT 'S A COMPLETE WASTE OF A GOOD NIGHT'S SLEEP . $ < THEY BOTH LAPSE INTO SILENCE , AS LILIAN READS AND LEONARD EATS . > $ 01 < ( LOOKING AT LILIAN'S PAPER AS SHE READS ) > $ SOMEONE ELSE LAID HIMSELF OPEN , I SEE . $ < PAUSE . > $ < ( READING FROM THE PAPER ) > $ " ON THE BASIS OF PHOTOGRAPHS TAKEN WITH A HIDDEN CAMERA . " $ WHAT 'S HE BEEN UP TO , THEN ? $ 02 I DON'T KNOW . $ I HAVEN'T GOT TO IT YET . $ #76 $ < PAUSE . > $ 01 COMPROMISING SITUATION , I SUPPOSE . $ OF SOME SORT . $ WHY DO THEY DO IT ? $ < PAUSE . > $ THE OLDEST TRICK IN THE BOOK . $ PLAYS RIGHT INTO THEIR HANDS . $ < PAUSE . $ HE FINISHES HIS BREAKFAST AND GETS UP . > $ ALL THEY 'VE GOT TO DO IS GET A PICTURE OF HIM IN THE ACT , WHATEVER IT IS , THREATEN TO LEAK IT TO THE PRESS , AND THEY 'VE GOT HIM . $ NOBODY WANTS TO SEE A PICTURE OF HIMSELF SPLASHED ALL OVER T HE FRONT OF THE PAPER WITH HIS SOCKS OFF HAVING HIS CORNS .. . $ 02 LEONARD ! $ PLEASE ! $ < LEONARD HAS IN ANY CASE STOPPED SHORT , ON SEEING THE ENVE LOPE ON THE MANTELPIECE FOR THE FIRST TIME . $ HE SEEMS TRANSFIXED BY IT . $ LILIAN GIVES HIM A SHARP LOOK . > $ 02 IN ANY CASE , HOW DID YOU KNOW IT WAS A CHIROPODIST HE 'D BEEN VISITING ? $ 01 OH . $ WAS IT ? $ I DIDN'T KNOW . $ IT JUST ... I MEAN IT OFTEN IS ... $ YOU KNOW WHAT PEOPLE ARE LIKE ABOUT THEIR ... FEET . $ 02 YES , LEONARD . $ ALL RIGHT . $ YOU DON'T HAVE TO GO ON ABOUT IT . $ < PAUSE . > $ 01 < ( ELABORATELY CASUAL ) > $ WHO IS IT ? $ SOME EMBASSY OFFICIAL , I EXPECT . $ < PAUSE . > $ DO THEY SAY ? $ 02 I 'M JUST LOOKING . $ < PAUSE . > $ NO . $ THEY DON'T SEEM TO GIVE A NAME . $ JUST " A MAN " ... " SEEN VISITING A CHIROPODIST " ... " LAT E YESTERDAY EVENING " . $ #77 $ < LEONARD RELAXES AND EDGES NEARER THE ENVELOPE . > $ THEY 'LL PROBABLY GIVE HIS NAME IN A LATER EDITION . $ < LEONARD STOPS DEAD IN HIS TRACKS AND THEN CONTINUES . > $ 01 WE ... DON'T KNOW WHAT HE WAS GOING THERE FOR , OF COURSE . $ 02 HE CERTAINLY WASN'T GOING THERE TO PLAY HALMA , LEONARD . $ THAT WE DO KNOW . $ < PAUSE . > $ AND WHATEVER IT WAS WE CAN BE PRETTY CERTAIN HE WAS PAYING O UT A SMALL FORTUNE FOR THE PRIVILEGE . $ < PAUSE . > $ 01 IT 'S ALWAYS POSSIBLE HE WAS TAKEN SHORT , I SUPPOSE . $ 02 TAKEN SHORT ? $ 01 HE COULD HAVE BEEN . $ 02 REALLY ! $ < PAUSE . > $ WHAT WITH ? $ BUNIONS ? $ < SHE PUTS THE PAPER DOWN , GETS UP AND BEGINS TO CLEAR THE TABLE . > $ ANYBODY WOULD THINK HE WAS A FRIEND OF YOURS . $ THE WAY YOU TRY TO DEFEND HIM . $ < LILIAN GOES OUT WITH PLATES AND LEONARD SEIZES THE OPPORTU NITY TO TAKE THE ENVELOPE AND LOOK AT IT . $ HE IS CAUGHT WITH IT IN HIS HAND WHEN LILIAN COMES BACK IN . > $ OH , YES . $ SOMEBODY CALLED . $ DURING THE NIGHT . $ DID I KNOW WHERE YOU WERE AND WOULD I GIVE YOU THAT ? $ < LILIAN GATHERS UP SOME THINGS AND GOES TO THE DOOR WITH TH EM . > $ #78 $ " PHOTOGRAPHS WITH CARE , " OR SOMETHING . $ < SHE STOPS FOR A SECOND , AS THE THING CONNECTS UP FOR THE FIRST TIME IN HER MIND , AND THEN GOES ON OUT . $ LEONARD OPENS THE ENVELOPE , CONVINCED OF THE WORST , AND PU LLS OUT SEVERAL PHOTOGRAPHS . $ THEY ARE LARGE , GLOSSY PRINTS , SHOWING HIM WITH GELDA AND INCLUDING EMBARRASSING CLOSE-UPS OF HIS BARE FEET . $ HE LOOKS AT THEM IN HORROR AND THEN PANICS . $ HE STUFFS THEM BACK IN THE ENVELOPE , RUSHES TO THE SAFE , F IDDLES INEFFECTUALLY WITH THE LOCK , LOOKS FRANTICALLY ROUND FOR SOME OTHER HIDING PLACE , AND IN THE END SLIPS THEM UND ER THE CURLED UP CORNER OF THE CARPET , AS LILIAN COMES BACK IN WITH AN EMPTY TRAY . > $ 01 < ( GETTING UP ) > $ IT 'S TIME I GOT THIS TACKED DOWN , LILIAN . $ IT 'S ... $ WE 'RE GOING TO HAVE AN ACCIDENT WITH IT IF I DON'T DO IT SO ON . $ I 'LL GET A HAMMER . $ AND A FEW TACKS . $ < HE GOES . $ LILIAN LOOKS AFTER HIM , THEN LOOKS AT THE MANTELPIECE , THE N AT THE CARPET . $ SHE GOES TO WHERE THE ENVELOPE IS , TAKES IT OUT , LOOKS INS IDE , AND REGISTERS A SORT OF HORRIFIED SATISFACTION . $ SHE PUTS THE CONTENTS BACK IN THE ENVELOPE , TAKES IT VERY D ELIBERATELY ACROSS THE ROOM , PLACES IT ON HIS DESK , AND GO ES BACK TO FINISH CLEARING THE TABLE . $ LEONARD COMES BACK WITH A HAMMER AND TACKS , AND WITHOUT LOO KING AT LILIAN BEGINS TACKING THE CARPET DOWN . $ 01 GET IT DONE NOW , AND IT 'S DONE . $ OTHERWISE I SHALL KEEP PUTTING IT OFF AND PUTTING IT OFF , A ND IT 'LL NEVER GET DONE . $ #79 $ < LILIAN LETS HIM GET THE VERY LAST TACK HAMMERED HOME BEFOR E SHE SAYS A WORD . > $ THERE . $ I THINK THAT SHOULD DO THE TRICK . $ < LILIAN PICKS UP THE TRAY . > $ 02 I 'VE PUT THE ENVELOPE WITH THE PICTURES IN IT OVER THERE . $ ON YOUR DESK . $ 01 WHAT ? $ WHAT PICTURES ? $ THOSE ARE NOT ... $ WHICH ONES ? $ < LILIAN WITHERS HIM WITH A STARE . > $ 02 < ( BREAKING AND GOING OUT ) > $ AT YOUR AGE . $ I HARDLY KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CRY . $ < PAUSE . $ LILIAN COMES BACK IN . > $ 01 HOW DO WE KNOW THIS ISN'T A FORGERY ? $ 02 IF IT IS , IT 'S BEEN DONE BY AN EXPERT . $ < PAUSE . > $ 01 WHAT ELSE DID ... THEY WANT ? $ 02 NOTHING . $ GIVE YOU THAT , AND DID I THINK YOU WERE A FIT AND PROPER PE RSON . $ < PAUSE . > $ THEY WEREN'T IN HERE FOR MORE THAN A MINUTE . $ 01 THEY ? $ 02 HIM . $ < PAUSE . > $ 01 YOU MEAN ... IN HERE ? $ 02 WHERE ELSE ? $ 01 BUT WHAT DOING ? $ 02 LOOKING ROUND , I SUPPOSE . $ TAKING STOCK . $ < PAUSE . > $ SOMETHING ABOUT RECOGNIZING THE PLACE AGAIN IF IT EVER AROSE . $ 01 IF WHAT EVER AROSE ? $ 02 THEY DIDN'T SAY . $ < LILIAN GOES OUT TO THE BACK . $ SHE RETURNS TO FETCH SOMETHING AND CHECKS IN THE DOORWAY AS SHE GOES OUT AGAIN . > $ #80 $ A WHOLE GRANDFATHER CLOCK SQUANDERED - WITH NOTHING TO SHOW FOR IT BUT A WALL SAFE WE DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO OPEN . $ AND NOW - CHIROPODY ! $ < SHE GOES OUT . $ THE FRONT DOORBELL RINGS . > $ < ( OFF ) > $ I 'LL GO . $ < LILIAN COMES IN AND IS CROSSING TO THE OTHER DOOR WHEN THE TELEPHONE RINGS . $ SHE CHECKS , IS FOR A MOMENT IN TWO MINDS WHETHER TO GO TO THE DOOR OR ANSWER THE TELEPHONE , AND THEN , AS THE DOORBEL L RINGS A SECOND TIME , ABANDONS THE TELEPHONE TO LEONARD . > $ FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE , DON'T GET US INVOLVED IN ANYTHING ELSE . $ < ( GOING OUT ) > $ HAVE THE SENSE FOR ONCE TO SAY YOU 'RE THE SOUTH WESTERN GA S BOARD . $ 01 < ( INTO 'PHONE ) > $ UNITED DAIRIES . $ < HIS FACE SLOWLY SUBSIDES INTO DUMBFOUNDED INCREDULITY . > $ < ( INTO 'PHONE ) > $ ... RIGHT ... $ < ( HE LOWERS THE 'PHONE , DAZEDLY , THEN RAISES IT AGAIN . ) > $ ... THANK YOU . $ < HE PUTS IT DOWN AND STARES IN FRONT OF HIM LIKE A MAN CONC USSED . > $ SIXTEEN PINTS TILL FURTHER NOTICE AT THE MOLDAVIAN EMBASSY . $ < HE CONTINUES TO STAND THERE MOTIONLESS , AS LILIAN COMES B ACK IN , OPENING A LETTER . > $ 02 FOR YOU . $ BY SPECIAL MESSENGER . $ < SHE READS THE LETTER AND HANDS IT TO LEONARD . > $ THE SELECTION BOARD . $ 01 WHAT ? $ OH . $ 02 THEY 'RE SEEING YOU NEXT WEEK . $ #81 $ < SHE STANDS LOOKING AT HIM FOR A MOMENT AS HE STARES DOWN , UNSEEING , AT THE LETTER IN HIS HAND , AND THEN GOES TO THE DOOR AT THE BACK . > $ < ACT TWO > $ < SCENE SIX > $ < THE OFFICE . $ EVENING . $ LATER . $ HARKER AND CASK DEEP IN THOUGHT . > $ 03 SO ONE WOULD ASSUME THAT THE COSSACKS ARE TO DIVERT ATTEN TION FROM THE OSTRICHES , WHILE THE TRAWLERS ARE DIVERTING A TTENTION FROM THE COSSACKS . $ 04 THAT WOULD SEEM TO ADD UP , SIR . $ 03 YES . $ ON THE OTHER HAND IT DOESN'T GET US VERY MUCH FURTHER . $ 04 FILE 879 BZQ , SIR . $ < ( HE GOES FOR THE FILE . ) > $ THIS MAY TIE UP . $ WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THIS BEFORE ? $ < HARKER PAUSES IN FRONT OF THE GRANDFATHER CLOCK . > $ 03 I FEEL SURE THE KEY TO IT ALL IS IN THIS ROOM , SOMEWHERE , CASK . $ 04 < ( WITH FILE ) > $ I THINK YOU MAY WELL BE RIGHT , SIR . $ 03 I KEEP GETTING DRAWN BACK FOR SOME REASON TO THIS , CASK . $ THAT 'S WHERE WE SHALL FIND THE ANSWER . $ IN THERE . $ YOU MARK MY WORDS . $ 04 < ( SHOWING HARKER THE FILE ) > $ HERE IT IS , SIR . $ I KNEW I 'D SEEN THIS SOMEWHERE . $ IT 'S JUST CONNECTED . $ DO YOU SEE THAT , SIR ? $ DIFFICULT TO MAKE OUT , BUT UNMISTAKABLY ... $ 03 YES . $ YES . $ YOU MAY WELL HAVE STUMBLED ON TO SOMETHING HERE , CASK . $ #82 $ WE 'LL HAVE A LOOK AT THIS . $ < HARKER TAKES A PICTURE FROM THE FILE TO THE PROJECTOR . > $ CONFIRM IT ONE WAY OR THE OTHER , AND SEE WHAT ELSE WE CAN M AKE OUT AS WELL . $ < A PICTURE IS THROWN ON TO THE SCREEN OF AN OSTRICH . $ IT IS LOOKING ROUND INTO THE CAMERA , ITS HEAD HAVING APPARE NTLY BEEN LIFTED OUT OF THE SAND FOR THE PURPOSE , ONE EYE B EING ENORMOUSLY ENLARGED BEHIND A MONOCLE . $ FROM THE REAR OF THE OSTRICH TRAILS A LENGTH OF CABLE WHICH DISAPPEARS INTO A JUNCTION BOX . > $ 03 A TELESCOPIC MONOCLE , BY HEAVEN ! $ 04 AND WIRED FOR VISION . $ OR SOUND . $ 03 OR MORE LIKELY BOTH . $ 04 SO NOW WE KNOW WHAT THE TRAWLERS ARE DOING . $ 03 PICKING IT UP AND RELAYING IT BACK AS FAST AS IT COMES IN . $ THE WHOLE THING 'S BEGINNING TO MAKE SENSE AT LAST . $ 04 ALL TOO MUCH SENSE , SIR . $ 03 A BRILLIANT STROKE , CASK. $ 04 I KNEW I 'D SEEN THIS SOMEWHERE , SIR , BUT FOR THE MOMEN T I COULDN'T QUITE REMEMBER IN WHAT CONNECTION . $ AND THEN IT CAME BACK TO ME THAT WE 'D HAD THESE PICTURES SM UGGLED OUT FROM THEIR ZOOLOGICAL WARFARE SPECIAL INTELLIGENC E TRAINING CENTRE IN UPPER SIBERIA . $ 03 WE OBVIOUSLY DIDN'T PAY NEARLY ENOUGH ATTENTION TO THEM A T THE TIME , CASK . $ 04 THAT 'S VERY TRUE . $ WE DIDN'T SIR . $ 03 IT WAS A MISTAKE , CASK . $ 04 IT WAS INDEED , SIR . $ 03 A VERY GRAVE MISTAKE . $ #83 $ 04 I DON'T THINK WE CAME WITHIN A MILE OF REALIZING JUST HOW FAR THEY 'D ADVANCED IN THIS FIELD , SIR . $ 03 WE DO NOW , CASK . $ 04 TO HAVE A SECRET SERVICE WEAPON AS SOPHISTICATED AS THIS NOT ONLY IN PRODUCTION BUT ACTUALLY IN OPERATION IN SO SHORT A TIME SUGGESTS THAT THEY 'RE REALLY GOING IN FOR THIS IN A BIG WAY . $ 03 MAKES THE CARRIER PELICAN OF A FEW YEARS BACK COMPLETELY AND UTTERLY OBSOLETE AT ONE STROKE . $ 04 WE REALLY THOUGHT WE WERE ON TO SOMETHING THERE , SIR . $ DIDN'T WE ? $ 03 ALWAYS A VULNERABLE WEAPON , CASK . $ IT SOUNDS IMPRESSIVE - THE FLYING DIPLOMATIC BAG . $ BUT IN PRACTISE ... $ POUCH BULGING WITH TOP SECRET DOCUMENTS - SOMEBODY THROWS TH E THING A SARDINE AND WE 'VE LOST THE LOT . $ 04 IT LEAVES US VERY LITTLE TO COUNTER THIS WITH , SIR . $ 03 WE 'VE GOT NOTHING , CASK . $ THAT 'S THE TRUTH OF IT . $ NOT A THING TO TOUCH IT . $ 04 UNLESS YOU CAN COUNT THE CATERPILLARS . $ 03 HARDLY A MATCH FOR THIS KIND OF THING , CASK . $ 04 I SUPPOSE NOT , SIR . $ 03 TRAINING CATERPILLARS TO EAT CODED MESSAGES INTO CABBAGE LEAVES ? $ IF THAT 'S THE BEST WE CAN DO , WE MAY AS WELL OPT OUT ALTOG ETHER . $ 04 TRUE ENOUGH , SIR . $ 03 SO . $ THAT 'S THE OSTRICHES ACCOUNTED FOR . $ IT STILL DOESN'T GET US VERY MUCH FURTHER WITH THE COSSACKS , THOUGH . $ < HARKER , DEEP IN THOUGHT , WALKS ROUND THE ROOM AND FETCHE S UP AT THE GRANDFATHER CLOCK . > $ #84 $ THIS IS WHERE THE ANSWER IS , I FEEL SURE OF IT . $ IN SOME WAY . $ THIS IS WHAT ONE KEEPS COMING BACK TO . $ 04 SHOULD WE OPEN UP THE FRONT AND LOOK INSIDE , SIR ? $ 03 YES . $ DO THAT , CASK . $ < CASK OPENS THE DOOR AT THE FRONT OF THE CLOCK . $ ON A BAR RUNNING ACROSS THE INSIDE OF THE DOOR A TIE IS HANG ING . $ IT IS A WHITE TIE WITH SMALL BLACK SPOTS . $ HARKER TAKES IT OFF AND LOOKS AT IT . > $ HERE IT IS , CASK . $ UNDER OUR EYES THE WHOLE TIME . $ AS ALWAYS HAPPENS . $ WHY DIDN'T WE DO THIS WEEKS AGO ? $ 04 MICRODOTS ! $ < HARKER TAKES THE MICRODOT OFF THE TIE , PLACES IT ON A SLI DE , AND EXAMINES IT THROUGH A MAGNIFYING GLASS . > $ 03 YES . $ THAT LOOKS VERY PROMISING . $ < HE INSERTS THE SLIDE IN THE PROJECTOR AND SWITCHES ON . $ WE SEE A PICTURE IN CLOSE-UP OF A STRING BAG FULL OF GROCERI ES . > $ 04 PROTOTYPE LKJR MARK XVI , BY GOD ! $ 03 YES , CASK . $ THE ONLY STRING BAG IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD WITH A FALSE BOT TOM - AND NOW AS GOOD AS ON THE SCRAPHEAP . $ YEARS OF RESEARCH GONE FOR NOTHING . $ < ( HE SWITCHES OFF . ) > $ 04 WHAT DO YOU THINK 'S BEHIND IT , SIR ? $ 03 LET 'S PIECE IT TOGETHER . $ HE WEARS THE TIE . $ HE GOES TO SCARBOROUGH . $ PERHAPS ON A DAY TRIP - ENGINEERED FOR THE PURPOSE . $ ONCE THERE - WHAT CAN HE DO ? $ ONE OR TWO THINGS . $ HE CAN GO WALKING ON THE MOORS , OR HE CAN GO WALKING ALONG THE FRONT . $ LET US SAY HE CHOOSES THE MOORS . $ #85 $ IN THAT CASE ... $ < HARKER MOVES TOWARDS THE PROJECTOR . > $ ... THE COSSACKS WILL HAVE FIVE PAIRS OF LONG-RANGE BINOCULA RS TRAINED ON ... $ < HE SWITCHES ON THE PROJECTOR . $ WE SEE ON THE SCREEN THE STRING BAG AS BEFORE . > $ ON THE OTHER HAND , HE MAY DECIDE TO TAKE A STROLL NEAR THE BEACH . $ IN THAT CASE , SIXTEEN OSTRICHES - EACH ONE EQUIPPED WITH A POWERFUL TELESCOPIC MONOCLE - ARE GOING TO WHIP THEIR HEADS OUT OF THE SAND THE MOMENT HE COMES WITHIN RANGE , AND WITHI N SECONDS EVERY RADAR SCREEN FROM ONE END TO THE OTHER OF AN UNNAMED FOREIGN POWER WILL HAVE A PICTURE ON IT AS LARGE AS YOU LIKE OF A PROJECT THAT IT 'S TAKEN US NINETEEN YEARS TO BRING TO COMPLETION . $ THAT 'S THE SITUATION HERE , CASK , AS I SEE IT . $ < HARKER SWITCHES OFF . > $ 04 IT CERTAINLY SEEMS TO ADD UP , SIR . $ 03 WHAT IT AMOUNTS TO , CASK , IS THAT WE 'VE STUMBLED ON T O SOMETHING A GOOD DEAL BIGGER THAN WE INITIALLY IMAGINED . $ 04 IT DOES BEGIN TO LOOK LIKE IT , SIR . $ 03 SOMETHING THAT COULD HAVE SHATTERING CONSEQUENCES OF A PR ETTY FAR-REACHING KIND , CASK . $ 04 WELL ... $ 03 FOR WHICH I WOULD HAVE NO ALTERNATIVE BUT TO HOLD MYSELF PERSONALLY RESPONSIBLE . $ 04 UNLESS WE CAN NIP THE WHOLE THING IN THE BUD , SIR . $ 03 A BETRAYAL OF TRUST . $ THAT 'S HOW IT WOULD BE INTERPRETED , CASK . $ BY ONE'S FELLOW COUNTRYMEN . $ IF EVER IT GOT OUT THAT ONE HAD BEEN RESPONSIBLE - HOWEVER I NDIRECTLY - FOR A SITUATION OF THIS KIND . $ #86 $ 04 THAT 'S TRUE , SIR , BUT ... $ 03 IT 'S A DESPERATE SITUATION TO FIND ONESELF IN , CASK . $ DESPERATE . $ 04 WHY DON'T WE HAVE HIM ABDUCTED , SIR ? $ WHEN HE COMES UP FOR INTERVIEW . $ BEFORE THE SELECTION BOARD . $ NEXT TUESDAY . $ 03 NO , CASK . $ THERE 'S ONLY ONE THING THAT CAN SAVE US . $ AND THAT 'S DECISIVE ACTION NOW . $ NEXT WEEK MAY BE TOO LATE . $ 04 BUT DON'T YOU THINK , SIR ... ? $ 03 NO , CASK . $ WE CAN'T AFFORD THE LUXURY OF ACTING THROUGH THE USUAL CHANN ELS . $ THERE 'S TOO MUCH AT STAKE . $ WE 'VE GOT TO ACT NOW . $ WITH COMPLETE RUTHLESSNESS IF NECESSARY . $ RUTHLESSNESS AND SUBTERFUGE . $ IT 'S ALL WE CAN DO . $ 04 BUT ... $ 03 WE 'RE FIGHTING A WAR OF NERVES , CASK . $ IT 'S NO USE RELYING ON CONVENTIONAL WEAPONS , IN A WAR OF N ERVES . $ IN A WAR OF NERVES , NERVE IS WHAT COUNTS . $ NERVE . $ AND NERVE ALONE . $ < HARKER GOES OUT IN A STATE OF NERVOUS COLLAPSE , FOLLOWED BY CASK , WHITE-FACED . > $ < ACT TWO > $ < SCENE SEVEN > $ < THE OFFICE . $ LIVING-ROOM . $ SAME . $ ONE WALL OF THE OFFICE , AND SOME OF THE FURNITURE , REMAIN . $ LILIAN ENTERS , LOOKS ROUND THE ROOM WITH PUZZLED ANNOYANCE AND MISGIVING , AND STARTS REARRANGING THE FURNITURE . $ #87 $ LEONARD COMES IN AFTER HER , ABSENT-MINDEDLY HELPING . > $ 01 IT 'S IN CODE . $ 02 WHAT 'S IN CODE ? $ 01 ALL OF IT . $ THIS . $ EVERYTHING . $ THE WHOLE THING 'S IN CODE . $ IT 'S THE ONLY ANSWER . $ 02 OF COURSE IT 'S IN CODE . $ WHAT DID YOU EXPECT IT TO BE IN ? $ 01 WHAT WE NEED IS A CODE-BOOK . $ < PAUSE . > $ IF WE HAD A CODE-BOOK WE COULD GET TO THE BOTTOM OF ALL THIS . $ TIE UP THE LOOSE ENDS . $ SEE WHERE IT 'S LEADING TO . $ MAKE SENSE OF IT ALL . $ < PAUSE . > $ 02 IF YOU 'D LEFT IT ALONE IN THE FIRST PLACE . $ < PAUSE . $ LEONARD WANDERS OUT TO THE KITCHEN . > $ 01 A MEANINGFUL OVERALL PATTERN . $ IF I COULD PUT MY FINGER ON THE CODE THEY 'RE USING . $ < THE FRONT DOORBELL RINGS . $ LILIAN GOES TO ANSWER IT . > $ 02 SUDDENLY WAKING UP AT THIS STAGE AND SAYING IT 'S IN CODE . $ < LILIAN COMES BACK IN , ACCOMPANIED BY HARKER . > $ 03 CASK . $ SIR FRANCIS HARKER'S PERSONAL ASSISTANT . $ THAT 'S HIS CARD IN CASE YOU SHOULD WANT IT . $ FOR FUTURE REFERENCE . $ 02 < ( READING FROM THE CARD ) > $ TIMOTHY CASK . $ 03 I 'M HERE ON HIS BEHALF , ACTUALLY . $ HE 'S BEEN UNAVOIDABLY DETAINED BY A 'PHONE CALL FROM SCARBO ROUGH - FOR WHICH HE ASKS ME TO TENDER HIS APOLOGIES - AND I 'VE BEEN SENT ALONG FROM THE DOUBLES POOL TO IMPERSONATE HI M . $ #88 $ I 'M NOT DOING IT VERY WELL , I 'M AFRAID , BUT YOU 'LL HAVE TO FORGIVE ME BECAUSE IT 'S RATHER SHORT NOTICE AND I 'M AC TUALLY SIR FRANCIS HARKER'S DOUBLE . $ AS YOU CAN PROBABLY SEE . $ 02 YES . $ 03 BUT ANYWAY - YOU MUST BE WONDERING WHY I 'M HERE , MRS FA WCETT . $ IT REALLY CONCERNS YOUR HUSBAND . $ INCIDENTALLY , THIS WALL WE 'VE FITTED YOU HERE IN LIEU OF Y OUR OWN . $ THIS IS THE TYPE WE 'RE FITTING NOW , WHERE IT 'S BEEN NECES SARY FOR ONE REASON OR ANOTHER TO TAKE OUT AN EXISTING WALL FOR LABORATORY TESTS OR SOMETHING OF THAT KIND , BECAUSE WE FIND IT SERVES A USEFUL DUAL PURPOSE - IN KEEPING YOU IN TOU CH WITH US , AND US IN TOUCH WITH YOU . $ IT SHOULD GIVE YOU EVERY SATISFACTION , BUT IF AT ANY TIME I T NEEDS ATTENTION , DON'T HESITATE TO GIVE US A RING AND WE 'LL BE ROUND AS SOON AS EVER WE CAN TO LOOK AT IT FOR YOU . $ 02 YES . $ THANK YOU . $ WE 'LL DO THAT . $ 03 NOW . $ THE THING IS THIS , MRS FAWCETT . $ YOUR HUSBAND . $ WHAT WE 'VE DECIDED TO DO , AS HE WASN'T UNFORTUNATELY ABLE TO FIND HIS WAY TO US IN TIME FOR THE SELECTION BOARD - EVEN THOUGH WE DID IN FACT PROLONG THE SITTING FOR AN EXTRA SIX MONTHS TO ALLOW HIM THE MAXIMUM LATITUDE FOR RUNNING US TO E ARTH ... $ 02 HE 'S NEVER HAD MUCH OF A SENSE OF DIRECTION . $ 03 NO . $ WELL , THAT ISN'T NECESSARILY A DISADVANTAGE , MRS FAWCETT . $ IT MAY EVEN SUIT OUR PURPOSES , SUCH AS THEY ARE , BETTER TH AT WAY . $ #89 $ AT ANY RATE , WHAT WE ARE DOING IS TO KEEP THE BOARD IN BEIN G ON A SKELETON BASIS , WITH ONE MEMBER PERMANENTLY ON DUTY , ON A ROTA SYSTEM , SO THAT SHOULD MR FAWCETT FINALLY MAKE IT , HE CAN HAVE HIS INTERVIEW ON THE SPOT THERE AND THEN TO SAVE ANY FURTHER DELAY . $ AND IN THE MEANTIME , SO THAT SHOULD HE BE SUCCESSFUL AT THE INTERVIEW HE CAN GO INTO ACTION RIGHT AWAY , I WOULD LIKE , IF I MAY , MRS FAWCETT , TO LODGE A PROVISIONAL BRIEFING WI TH YOU HERE AND NOW FOR SAFE KEEPING AND FUTURE REFERENCE . $ 02 WHY YES . $ OF COURSE . $ 03 WE 'VE GOT A FEW DETAILS OF THE KIND OF EQUIPMENT YOUR HU SBAND WILL BE NEEDING , MRS FAWCETT , WHEN HE 'S FINALLY PAS #90 $ $ < ( HE BRINGS OUT A SHEET OF PAPER ) > $ SO PERHAPS WE MIGHT START WITH THAT . $ IF I COULD ASK YOU TO PASS THESE ON TO HIM . $ 02 YES . $ OF COURSE . $ JUST TELL ME WHAT THEY ARE , AND I 'LL SEE THAT HE GETS THEM . $ 03 IT 'S A GREAT HELP TO US WHEN PEOPLE ARE SO CO-OPERATIVE , MRS FAWCETT . $ 02 IT 'S THE LEAST WE CAN DO , ISN'T IT ? $ 03 NOW . $ WHAT HAVE WE GOT ? $ < ( HE CONSULTS THE PAPER ) > $ YES . $ FIRST OF ALL , ONE OR TWO SMALL ITEMS WE SHOULD LIKE MR FAWC ETT TO TRY AND PROVIDE HIMSELF WITH , IF I COULD MAKE A NOTE OF THEM FOR YOU ON A PIECE OF PAPER . $ THEY CAN BE GOT ALMOST ANYWHERE , BUT IF HE HAS ANY DIFFICUL TY ... $ 02 WILL THIS DO ? $ 03 AH . $ THANK YOU . $ IF HE HAS ANY DIFFICULTY , THERE 'S OUR OWN SURPLUS STORES I N ARMAGEDDON STREET WHICH IS BOUND TO HAVE THEM IN STOCK . $ #90 $ FIRST OF ALL , PERHAPS I SHOULD SAY THAT WE 'RE PROPOSING TO FLY MR FAWCETT TO THE OTHER SIDE OF THE IRON CURTAIN . $ WHAT WE HAVE IN MIND IS THAT ONCE THE AIRCRAFT IS OVER ENEMY TERRITORY , WE SHALL DROP YOUR HUSBAND STRAIGHT THROUGH AN OPEN MANHOLE INTO THEIR SEWERS . $ 02 I SEE . $ 03 THAT 'S THE BROAD PICTURE . $ 02 DOES HE KNOW WHAT TO DO WHEN HE GETS DOWN THERE ? $ 03 HE 'LL BE BRIEFED BY OUR MAN ON THE SPOT , MRS FAWCETT , ABOUT THAT . $ THE GENERAL IDEA IS THAT HE SHOULD SYSTEMATICALLY INTRODUCE FOREIGN MATTER INTO THE WASTE WHICH IS PASSING THROUGH THE E NEMY'S SEWERS , AND SO CONTAMINATE HIS EFFLUENCE . $ 02 I 'LL TELL HIM . $ 03 NOW . $ THE THINGS HE 'S GOING TO NEED . $ THESE ARE NOT IN ANY SPECIAL ORDER , BUT $ < ( WRITING THEM DOWN ) > $ HE 'LL CERTAINLY WANT A CAST-IRON BOOTSCRAPER . $ THIS IS TO FACILITATE HIS DESCENT . $ 02 INTO THE ... $ 03 ... MANHOLE . $ TELL HIM TO GRASP IT FIRMLY WITH BOTH HANDS ON LEAVING THE A IRCRAFT . $ ALSO AN IRONING BOARD . $ WE LIKE OUR AGENTS WHO GO ANYWHERE BEYOND THE IRON CURTAIN T O HAVE AN IRONING BOARD WITH THEM , IN ORDER IF CHALLENGED T O SUBSTANTIATE THE COVER STORY WE FURNISH THEM WITH . $ WHICH , AS YOU PROBABLY KNOW , IS THAT THEY ARE THERE TO LOO K INTO THE POSSIBILITY OF OPENING UP A CHAIN OF LAUNDRIES IN THE UKRAINE . $ #91 $ WHAT ELSE ? $ BOW AND ARROW . $ STANDARD EQUIPMENT FOR CHECKING WIND DIRECTION AND VELOCITY ON EMERGING FROM THE SEWERS . $ WHILE SEEMINGLY INDULGING IN A PERFECTLY INNOCENT FORM OF RE CREATION . $ HE 'LL ALSO OF COURSE NEED TO HAVE WITH HIM A FAST AND UP-TO -DATE MOTOR LAWN-MOWER FOR A QUICK GET-AWAY . $ WE 'LL JUST MAKE A NOTE OF THAT , AND ... I REALLY THINK WE 'VE GOT EVERYTHING - EXCEPT THE USUAL BILLIARD TABLE . $ OH - AND $ < ( WRITING IT DOWN ) > $ A CHANDELIER . $ TO LIGHT HIS WAY THROUGH THE SEWERS , WITHOUT ATTRACTING TOO MUCH UNWELCOME ATTENTION , WHILE DOWN THERE . $ 02 THE BILLIARD TABLE . $ SHOULD HE GO FOR ANY PARTICULAR SIZE ? $ 03 WHATEVER SIZE HE 'S USED TO , MRS FAWCETT . $ IT DOESN'T REALLY MATTER . $ IT 'S SIMPLY SO THAT IN AN EMERGENCY HE HAS SOMETHING TO BAR RICADE HIMSELF IN HIS ROOM WITH . $ AND , OF COURSE , KEEP BOREDOM AT BAY WHILE DOING SO . $ < HARKER GOES FOR A SMALL BLACK ATTACHE-CASE WHICH HE HAS BR OUGHT WITH HIM , AND WHICH HAS ON IT AN OFFICIAL GOVERNMENT CREST , AND IN GOLD LETTERING THE WORDS : " MINISTRY OF INTE LLIGENCE AND SECURITY . " > $ 03 A DECIDING FACTOR , AS FAR AS SIZE IS CONCERNED , COULD W ELL BE THE ... HOLD-ALL WHICH HE 'LL BE USING TO CARRY THEM ROUND IN . $ THIS WE PROVIDE . $ 02 IS THERE ANY SPECIAL WAY OF PACKING THEM IN ? $ #92 $ 03 ANY WAY AT ALL , MRS FAWCETT , THAT APPEARS TO GIVE RESUL TS . $ WE LEAVE THAT ENTIRELY TO THE AGENT HIMSELF . $ IN ADDITION , THERE ARE JUST TWO OTHER SMALL THINGS . $ ONE IS THIS SUICIDE CAPSULE . $ IF YOU COULD TELL YOUR HUSBAND , MRS FAWCETT , TO SLIP IT UN DER HIS DENTURES BEFORE HE SETS OUT . $ ALL HE NEEDS TO DO THEN , IF HE FEELS HIMSELF GIVING WAY UND ER INTERROGATION AT ANY TIME , IS SIMPLY TO GIVE A SLIGHT CR UNCH , AND ... HE 'S ... $ < ( HE WAVES A HAND ) > $ 02 I SEE . $ 03 JUST COMMON OR GARDEN CYANIDE , I 'M AFRAID - BUT IT SEEM S TO DO THE TRICK . $ AND THIS IS A DETONATOR . $ THE IDEA BEING TO SECRETE THIS ON HIS PERSON SOMEWHERE , TOG ETHER WITH A TON AND A HALF OF NITROGLYCERINE , AND USE IT I N THE EVENT OF CAPTURE TO BLOW HIMSELF UP . $ 02 I 'LL PUT THAT OVER HERE , THEN , WITH THE CAPSULE , AND WE SHALL KNOW WHERE THEY ARE . $ 03 AND THAT , I THINK , MRS FAWCETT , IS ABOUT EVERYTHING . $ 02 YES . $ WELL - I 'M SORRY YOU HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO SEE HIM BEFORE YO U GO . $ BUT I 'LL CERTAINLY TELL HIM WHAT YOU 'VE SAID . $ 03 IF YOU WOULD , MRS FAWCETT . $ < HARKER MAKES HIS WAY BY FORCE OF HABIT TOWARDS THE DOOR LE ADING INTO HIS OFFICE . > $ 02 IT 'S HALF THE BATTLE , ISN'T IT ? $ HAVING THE RIGHT THINGS . $ 03 IT IS . $ IT IS INDEED . $ OH , YES . $ < ( INDICATING THE OFFICE WALL . ) > $ AN OCCASIONAL FLICK WITH THE DUSTER , BY THE WAY . $ NORMAL CARE . $ USUAL PRECAUTIONS . $ SHOULD LAST YOU THE BEST PART OF A LIFETIME . $ #93 $ 02 OH ... $ 03 YES . $ BETWEEN OURSELVES , MRS FAWCETT , I THINK WE CAN SAY THAT TH E LOOSE ENDS ARE BEGINNING TO TIE UP . $ BEFORE VERY LONG WE SHALL - WITH ANY LUCK AT ALL - SEE THE W HOLE THING FALL PLUMB INTO PERSPECTIVE . $ 02 WELL ... I HOPE IT DOES , MR ... CASK . $ 03 AND ONCE THAT HAPPENS , WE CAN GO FORWARD IN CONFIDENCE A T LAST TOWARDS ULTIMATE VICTORY . $ 02 YES . $ I 'M SURE . $ 03 IN FACT , WITH OUR BACKROOM BOYS IN THE SPEARHEAD OF OUR ADVANCE ATTACK , OUR FRONT MEN BRINGING UP THE REAR , AND OU R UNDERCOVER AGENTS STANDING BY TO GO OVER THE TOP , WE MAY VERY WELL BE POISED , IF WE DID BUT KNOW IT , FOR THE GREATE ST LEAP FORWARD THE WORLD OF COUNTER-ESPIONAGE HAS EVER KNOW N ! $ 02 OH . $ WELL - THAT 'S VERY GOOD NEWS , I MUST SAY . $ 03 YES . $ WELL , THANK YOU FOR CALLING , MRS FAWCETT . $ GOOD-BYE . $ < HARKER GOES INTO HIS OFFICE AND CLOSES THE DOOR . $ LILIAN STANDS AT THE OTHER DOOR , HOVERING INDECISIVELY . $ HARKER'S DOOR OPENS AGAIN , AND LILIAN BOLTS , CLOSING THE D OOR BEHIND HER . $ LEONARD ENTERS THROUGH THE UPSTAGE DOOR , CARRYING A PILE OF BOOKS . > $ 01 IT 'S HERE , LILIAN . $ I 'M CONVINCED OF IT . $ SOMEWHERE IN THIS ROOM . $ IF ONLY I KNEW WHERE TO LAY MY HANDS ON IT . $ < HE COMES DOWNSTAGE CENTRE AND DROPS THE BOOKS , WHICH SCAT TER OVER THE FLOOR . $ HE RUMMAGES THROUGH THEM IN SEARCH OF THE MISSING CODE . > $ #94 $ 01 THE ONE VITAL CLUE . $ FIND THAT , AND WE CAN DECIPHER THE WHOLE THING . $ ONCE AND FOR ALL . $ KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE STAND . $ < ( CALLING ) > $ EUREKA . $ < ( HE GOES TO THE DOWNSTAGE DOOR , OPENS IT , AND CALLS THR OUGH . ) > $ LILIAN ! $ < THERE IS NO REPLY . $ LEONARD TURNS BACK INTO THE ROOM , CLOSING THE DOOR AGAIN BE HIND HIM , AND WITH HIS EYES FIXED TO THE PIECE OF PAPER CRO SSES SLOWLY TO THE SCATTERED BOOKS . $ AS HE DOES SO , THE DOOR SLOWLY VANISHES BEHIND HIM , LEAVIN G ONLY BLANK WALL WHERE IT USED TO BE . $ LEONARD READS FROM THE PIECE OF PAPER . > $ SUDDENLY THE DOOR WAS SLAMMED , THE KEY TURNED , AND THE LIG HT EXTINGUISHED . $ < BLACKOUT . $ LEONARD GROPES FOR A TORCH , AND WITH IT SEARCHES FOR ANOTHE R PIECE OF PAPER , WHICH HE FINDS AND READS . > $ I WAS TRAPPED . $ < HE THROWS IT DOWN AND RESUMES THE SEARCH BY THE LIGHT OF T HE TORCH . $ HE FINDS ANOTHER PIECE OF PAPER , AND READS IT . > $ BEFORE I COULD UTTER AUGHT SAVE A MUFFLED CURSE , I WAS SEIZ ED FROM BEHIND AND FLUNG HEADFIRST INTO AN OPEN GRAND PIANO , THE HEAVY LID OF WHICH ... $ < HE THROWS IT DOWN AND RESUMES THE SEARCH AS BEFORE TILL HE FINDS ANOTHER CUTTING AND READS IT OUT . $ ... WAS INSTANTLY CLOSED ON ME . $ FOR SOME TIME I LAY THERE STUNNED , NOT KNOWING WHAT HAD HAP PENED . $ #95 $ < HE THROWS IT DOWN AND REPEATS THE BUSINESS AS BEFORE . > $ THEN , LIKE A FLASH , THE TRUTH DAWNED ON ME ! $ < THE LIGHTS COME UP . $ THE OFFICE DOOR HAS NOW VANISHED , AND IS REPLACED BY BLANK WALL . $ LEONARD STANDS STARING FOR SOME MOMENTS AT THE PIECE OF PAPE R IN HIS HAND . > $ I HAD BEEN POISONED . $ < CURTAIN > $