*121
HAVE YOU ANY DIRTY WASHING , MOTHER DEAR ? $
#35 $
01 ARE THE PIGEONS GOING TO TAKE OVER DO YOU THINK , ARTHUR
? $
02 EH ? $
01 DO YOU EVER WATCH THE BIRDS OUT HERE ? $
02 BIRDS ? $
01 THE PIGEONS . $
02 I THOUGHT YOU MEANT THE OTHER SORT . $
NOW THAT 'D BE SOMETHING WORTH WATCHING ! $
06 THEY ONLY COME INTO TOWN TO FEED , YOU KNOW - THEN BACK T
O THEIR NESTS IN THE SUBURBS EVERY EVENING . $
JUST LIKE US . $
OH , NOT YOU , OF COURSE , NORMAN . $
I 'M SURE YOU 'VE GOT A VERY ELEGANT LITTLE HOUSE , NEARBY ,
 HAVEN'T YOU ? $
01 IT 'S LITTLE . $
I DON'T KNOW THAT IT 'S VERY ELEGANT . $
03 ' MORNING , CAROLINE . $
08 ' MORNING , MASTER HENRY . $
03 GOOD-MORNING , GOOD-MORNING , GOOD-MORNING ! $
' MORNING , OUR ARFUR ! $
THE WINNERS FOR THIS AFTERNOON ? $
02 WE CAN'T ALL PLAY THE STOCK EXCHANGE , CAN WE ? $
03 VERY GOOD , ARTHUR ! $
VERY GOOD . $
NOT FUNNY BUT QUICK . $
ALL READY FOR THE FRAY , EH ? $
06 LET 'S HOPE THERE ISN'T GOING TO BE TOO MUCH OF A FRAY .
$
I 'M SURE WE 'RE ALL AWARE OF THE URGENCY OF THE SITUATION .
.. $
03 OH , COME ON , COME ON ! $
JOKE ! $
SEE ? $
HA HA . $
05 IT 'S NICE TO HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOUR . $
03 HOW WOULD YOU KNOW , OLD BOY ? $
02 VERY SHARP THIS MORNING . $
OLD NORMAN 'S LOOKING AT THE BIRDS AGAIN , AS USUAL . $
HE SAYS IT 'S THE PIGEONS , BUT WE KNOW DIFFERENT TO THAT ,
EH ? $
01 OH , GO ON WITH YOU . $
02 AIN'T HE A BOY , THOUGH , EH ? $
LOOK AT THAT WAISTCOAT . $
03 WHO ELSE IS TO COME ? $
01 JUST MIRANDA AND OUR BELOVED CHAIRMAN . $
03 WELL WE KNOW DAMN WELL HE WON'T BE LATE . $
AS THE LAST CHIME STRIKES THE HOUR ... $
01 I 'VE NEVER KNOWN SUCH A CHAP FOR PUNCTUALITY . $
NEVER EARLY , NEVER LATE - JUST RIGHT . $
03 I WONDER IF HE HANGS ABOUT OUTSIDE WAITING FOR THE EXACT
MOMENT ? $
02 I DON'T SEE ANYTHING WRONG WITH PUNCTUALITY . $
THE POLITENESS OF PRINCES , ISN'T IT ? $
01 WELL SAID , ARTHUR ! $
DID YOU MAKE THAT UP YOURSELF ? $
#36 $
02 NO , I READ IT SOMEWHERE . $
03 OUR ARFUR 'S BECOMING A BIT OF A SCHOLAR ! $
04 GOOD MORNING . $
AM I THE LAST ? $
03 EXCEPT FOR OUR REVERED CHAIRMAN . $
04 OH , YOU KNOW WHAT HE IS . $
01 ONE WONDERS WHY O'NEILL 'S BEEN GIVEN THIS JOB - WITH ALL
 DUE RESPECT , OF COURSE . $
03 OF COURSE . $
04 I DON'T THINK THEY CAN FIND ANYTHING ELSE FOR HIM TO DO .
 $
IT 'S AS SIMPLE AS THAT . $
YOU KNOW HOW HE WORMED HIS WAY INTO LITTLE BILLY'S CONFIDENC
E ? $
WELL , THEN LITTLE BILLY FINDS HE 'S ALL VERY FINE AT WORMIN
G , BUT NOT MUCH GOOD AT ANYTHING ELSE . $
HE WAS SORT OF GENERAL DOGSBODY FOR A TIME . $
01 YES - BUT I DID HEAR A HORRID RUMOUR THAT HE WAS BEING GI
VEN A LOT OF THIS COMMITTEE WORK TO TRY HIM OUT FOR THE SPOK
ESMANSHIP . $
04 WHAT ! $
03 O'NEILL ? $
NEVER ! $
MY GOD ! $
04 OH , HE 'S QUITE SWEET YOU KNOW . $
BUT QUITE HOPELESS . $
03 HE 'S BOUGHT A CONVERTED COW-HOUSE NEAR BOLSTEAD , YOU KN
OW . $
I HAVE A HELL OF A JOB NOW AVOIDING HIM AT WEEKENDS . $
HE MOONS ABOUT THE COUNTRYSIDE , LEAVING CATTLE GATES OPEN ,
HITTING COW PARSLEY WITH HIS WALKING STICK . $
04 AND THAT ENORMOUS WIFE OF HIS ... $
02 I THINK WE SHOULD SHOW A BIT OF LOYALTY . $
06 I AGREE . $
02 YOU SHOULDN'T TALK BEHIND PEOPLE'S BACKS . $
IF YOU 'VE GOT ANYTHING TO SAY , SAY IT TO THEIR FACE . $
04 OH - I 'VE SAID IT TO HIS FACE . $
SUCH AS IT IS . $
I TOLD HIM I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT HE WAS DOING IN POLITICS AT AL
L . $
03 WHAT DID HE SAY TO THAT ? $
04 NOT A WORD . $
HE JUST SMILED . $
IT WAS AFTER THAT RE-DEVELOPMENT DEBATE WHERE HE MADE SUCH A
N EXHIBITION OF HIMSELF . $
HE JUST SORT OF GIGGLED . $
02 COME ON - LET 'S GET SETTLED DOWN . $
03 WHAT 'S THE BETTING ? $
04 WHAT ON ? $
03 THAT OUR CHAIRMAN APPEARS ON THE LAST STROKE OF THE HOUR
 . $
01 OF COURSE HE WILL . $
HE ALWAYS DOES . $
05 ISN'T THIS ALL JUST A LITTLE CHILDISH ? $
06 I THINK IT IS . $
02 WHAT DO YOU EXPECT ? $
03 OH , COME OFF IT . $
01 SIX ... $
03 SEVEN ... $
04 EIGHT ... $
01 03 04 NINE ! $
07 GOOD MORNING , LADIES AND GENTLEMEN . $
03 HE MUST WAIT OUTSIDE . $
HE MUST WAIT OUTSIDE . $
01 YES , I THINK THAT 'S IT . $
04 IS IT TO GIVE THE IMPRESSION OF A FULL , RICH LIFE DO YOU
 THINK ? $
07 A JOKE ? $
01 MORE OF AN ENQUIRY INTO HUMAN BEHAVIOUR . $
07 AH . $
06 DID YOU KNOW YOU COULD GET ALL SORTS OF DISEASES FROM PIG
EONS ? $
07 PIGEONS ? $
06 WE WERE JUST TALKING ABOUT PIGEONS BEFORE YOU CAME IN . $
05 A BOY I WAS AT SCHOOL WITH GOT PSITTACOSIS OR SOMETHING .
 $
TOOK HIM YEARS TO GET RID OF . $
SAW HIM A COUPLE OF WEEKS AGO . $
HE STILL LOOKED POORLY . $
02 SILICOSIS . $
03 PSITTACOSIS ! $
PARROT FEVER ! $
FROM A PIGEON ? $
05 NO , IT WAS A LOVE BIRD , I THINK . $
IT MAY NOT HAVE BEEN PSITTACOSIS . $
HE LOOKED HORRIBLE I MUST SAY . $
I JUST BUMPED INTO HIM WALKING ON THE HEATH . $
06 I DON'T THINK IT CAN HAVE BEEN A PIGEON , MICHAEL . $
02 NO , HE JUST SAID IT WASN'T . $
05 HE LOOKED SORT OF ... DRAINED . $
07 WELL , LADIES AND GENTLEMEN , AS YOU KNOW , WE HAVE A GRE
AT DEAL OF WORK TO GET THROUGH . $
IN ORDER TO ACHIEVE THIS AND REALLY TO GET THE DISCUSSION OF
 THIS BILL UNDER WAY , I SUGGEST THAT WE TAKE THE PREAMBLE O
F THIS BILL AS READ AND GET STRAIGHT INTO THE MEAT OF IT ...
 $
DI-DAH , DI-DAH , DI-DAH ... $
YES , YES , YES ... $
WHEREAS ... $
ET CETERA , ET CETERA ... $
THAT IS TO SAY ... $
AH ! $
HERE WE ARE ... $
' FIRSTLY THAT HER MAJESTY'S GOVERNMENT ... ' $
03 ON A POINT OF ORDER , MR CHAIRMAN . $
07 YES ? $
03 I AM NOT AT ALL SATISFIED THAT WE ON THIS SIDE OF THE TAB
LE ARE WILLING TO FOREGO THE PREAMBLE . $
07 MASTER HENRY - I 'M SURE WE ALL RESPECT YOUR WISH TO PRES
ERVE ALL THIS ... $
03 IT 'S NOT A QUESTION OF WISHING TO PRESERVE ANYTHING ...
$
05 IT 'S A QUESTION OF TRYING TO WASTE TIME , IF YOU ASK ME
. $
03 IT IS NOT A QUESTION OF WISHING TO PRESERVE ANYTHING , NO
R IS IT A QUESTION OF TRYING TO WASTE TIME . $
TIME SPENT ENSURING THAT THE DUE PROCESSES OF COUNCIL ARE OB
SERVED ARE ANYTHING BUT A WASTE OF TIME - AS MR BEAMISH MAY
LEARN WHEN HE HAS BEEN WITH US A LITTLE LONGER ... $
05 OH HA HA . $
03 ... AND MANY OF US - ON BOTH SIDES OF THE TABLE - FEEL TH
AT THE PREAMBLE IS POSSIBLY THE MOST IMPORTANT PART OF ANY B
ILL , EMBODYING AS IT DOES , THE REMINDER OF THE SOURCE FROM
 WHENCE OUR POWERS EXUDE ... $
04 HEAR ! $
HEAR ! $
03 ... TO HEAR THIS BEING MADE NONSENSE OF BY A RESPECTED ME
MBER OF COUNCIL - INDEED , THE CHAIRMAN OF COUNCIL - GOING D
I-DAH , DI-DAH , DI-DAH ... $
05 THIS IS AN IMPORTANT AND URGENT PIECE OF LEGISLATION ! $
03 AND , AS SUCH , SHOULD CERTAINLY NOT BE PASSED IN A SLIPS
HOD , NOT TO SAY ILLEGAL , MANNER ! $
07 VERY WELL , VERY WELL , MASTER HENRY . $
WOULD YOU LIKE TO PROPOSE A MOTION ? $
03 ME ? $
CERTAINLY NOT . $
IT IS YOU WHO WISHES TO DEVIATE FROM ACCEPTED PRACTICE IN TH
IS MATTER . $
07 VERY WELL . $
BRING THE PROTECTOR , PLEASE . $
I PROPOSE THAT IN READING THIS BILL WE FOREGO THAT FORMALITI
ES AND THE PREAMBLE . $
WILL ANYONE SECOND THAT ? $
07 SECONDED BY MR BEAMISH . $
THOSE IN FAVOUR ? $
AGAINST ? $
07 THE CHAIRMAN EXERCISED HIS CASTING-VOTE IN FAVOUR OF THE
MOTION . $
MOTION CARRIED . $
01 SURPRISE , SURPRISE . $
07 DID YOU GET THAT , MISS ... UH ... $
08 YES , SIR . $
' MOTION CARRIED . ' $
MR HAGGARD - $
' SURPRISE , SURPRISE ' . $
#37 $
07 YES , ALL RIGHT . $
THANK YOU . $
01 MR CHAIRMAN - I TRUST THAT NOT ALL THE PROVISIONS OF THIS
 BILL , NOR ALL THE DELIBERATIONS OF THIS COUNCIL , WILL BE
SO RUDELY STEAM-ROLLED THROUGH ? $
07 I THINK WE MAY BE SURE THAT ANY IMPORTANT PIECE OF BUSINE
SS WILL NOT BE NEGLECTED . $
01 AND YOU , MR CHAIRMAN , WILL DECIDE ON ITS ' IMPORTANCE '
 ? $
07 ' FIRSTLY THAT HER MAJESTY'S GOVERNMENT - ALWAYS SUBJECT
TO THE AGREEMENT AND APPROVAL OF THE FREELY-ELECTED GOVERNME
NT OF ZINGAWA - SHALL BE EMPOWERED TO MOVE UNITS OF HER MAJE
STY'S ARMED FORCES INTO ZINGAWAN SOVEREIGN TERRITORY FOR THE
 PURPOSES OF KEEPING THE PEACE AND IF NECESSARY OF AFFORDING
 PROTECTION AGAINST ANY OTHER SOVEREIGN NATION , STATE OR PO
WER WHICH MAY OFFER HOSTILE CONTENTION TO SAID SOVEREIGN STA
TE OF ZINGAWA . $
02 QUITE STRAIGHTFORWARD . $
01 TOO VAGUE . $
04 YES . $
THERE SEEMS TO BE NOTHING IN THIS PARAGRAPH THAT COVERS THE
EVENTUALITY OF HER MAJESTY'S TROOPS BEING FORCED TO CROSS TH
E BORDER INTO AMALOVIA . $
07 HER MAJESTY'S GOVERNMENT HOPE THAT SUCH AN EVENTUALITY WI
LL NOT ARISE . $
03 CAN WE HAVE AN ASSURANCE THEN THAT OUR TROOPS WILL NOT CR
SS THE BORDER WITHOUT PRIOR CONSULTATION OF THE HOUSE ? $
05 OH - YOU 'D LIKE THAT , WOULDN'T YOU ? $
03 INDEED I WOULD ! $
AND WHY NOT ? $
THE DECENT PEOPLE OF AMALOVIA ARE ALREADY THE INJURED PARTIE
S IF THE ZINGAWANS CLOSE THE RAILWAY . $
06 INJURES PARTIES ! $
03 CERTAINLY . $
AMALOVIA HAS A PERFECTLY PROPER GOVERNMENT WHICH HAS BEHAVED
WITH ADMIRABLE RESTRAINT IN THE FACE OF CONTINUAL ZINGAWAN P
ROVOCATION . $
05 A PROPER WHITE RACIST GOVERNMENT IS WHAT YOU MEAN . $
03 BETTER THAN THAT BLACK RACIST MOB THEY HAVE RUNNING ZINGA
WA . $
04 AND YOU PUT THEM THERE , REMEMBER ! $
01 I THINK THE WHOLE PARAGRAPH 'S NULL AND VOID , ANYWAY . $
ALL THAT BIT ABOUT THE ' FREELY-ELECTED GOVERNMENT OF ZINGAW
A ... ' $
THERE ISN'T ONE . $
07 ONE WHAT ? $
01 THE LAST GENERAL ELECTION IN ZINGAWA WAS RIGGED FROM STAR
T TO FINISH - WE ALL KNOW THAT . $
07 WELL , WHAT ABOUT IT ? $
01 MY DEAR MR CHAIRMAN - IF HER MAJESTY'S GOVERNMENT HAVE GO
T TO WAIT FOR THE PERMISSION OF A FREELY-ELECTED GOVERNMENT
IN ZINGAWA - THEY 'LL STILL BE WAITING TEN YEARS FROM NOW .
$
05 VERY CLEVER - BUT DOES IT GET US ANYWHERE ? $
02 NO - I AGREE WITH HIM . $
FAIR 'S FAIR , BUT I DO . $
THEY 'RE A LOT OF CROOKS , THAT GOVERNMENT . $
BLACK CROOKS AT THAT . $
01 I 'M AFRAID THAT WASN'T MY POINT . $
02 I DON'T KNOW IF IT 'S YOUR POINT OR NOT - IT 'S WHAT YOU
SAID , THOUGH ... $
01 I SAID NOTHING OF THE SORT ! $
02 ... AND I AGREE . $
THEY 'RE NOT FIT TO GOVERN THEMSELVES - I SAID SO AT THE TIM
E AND I SAY SO NOW . $
03 I 'D LIKE TO MOVE AN AMENDMENT ... $
02 06 05 UNCOVERED ! $
UNCOVERED ! $
03 I 'D LIKE TO PROPOSE AN AMENDMENT ... $
02 ON A POINT OF ORDER , MR CHAIRMAN ... $
07 YES ? $
02 IS IT IN ORDER FOR A REPRESENTATIVE TO CONTINUE WITH A MO
TION WHEN HE HAS ONCE STARTED IT UNCOVERED ? $
01 IT 'S NOT A MOTION - IT 'S AN AMENDMENT . $
05 OH - CLEVER DICK ! $
02 IS IT IN ORDER , MR CHAIRMAN ? $
IT CERTAINLY WOULDN'T BE IN THE HOUSE . $
07 WELL ... $
OF COURSE , NOT ALL THE CONVENTIONS OBSERVED IN THE HOUSE ..
. ARE STRICTLY KEPT UP IN COUNCIL , MR BENTWOOD . $
03 GET SOME SERVICE IN ! $
02 IT IS THE CUSTOM OF THE HOUSE ... THAT WHEN A REPRESENTAT
IVE PROPOSES A MOTION OR AN AMENDMENT WITHOUT FIRST BEING GO
VERED IN THE ACCEPTED FASHION - HE HAS TO WAIT UNTIL AT LEAS
T THREE OTHER MOTIONS OR AMENDMENTS HAVE BEEN PUT BY OTHER R
EPRESENTATIVES OR , ALTERNATIVELY , UNTIL HE HAS WALKED SEVE
N TIMES ROUND THE PRECINCTS OF THE HOUSE BY WAY OF THE GREAT
 GATE . $
07 MR BENTWOOD - I REALLY DON'T THINK THAT WE NEED TO BE INF
ORMED ABOUT THE CUSTOMS OF THE HOUSE ... ALL OF US HERE HAVE
 BEEN REPRESENTATIVES FOR SOME TIME ... $
03 LONGER THAN HIM ! $
05 OH , PLEASE ! $
07 ... AND , AS I SAY , NOT ALL OF THE CUSTOMS OF THE HOUSE
... ARE CARRIED OVER INTO COUNCIL ... $
02 WELL , THEY OUGHT TO BE CARRIED OVER INTO COUNCIL ! $
01 OH , NONSENSE ! $
02 OH - YOU CAN SAY ' NONSENSE ' IF YOU LIKE . $
THESE CUSTOMS MEAN SOMETHING - THEY 'RE NOT JUST THERE FOR N
OTHING , YOU KNOW - THEY 'RE A PROTECTION ! $
01 MR CHAIRMAN , MAY I SPEAK ? $
I FEEL THAT MR BENTWOOD IS IN NEED OF ENLIGHTENMENT . $
THE VERY REASON THAT THE SECOND STAGE OF A BILL IS NOT CONSI
DERED WITHIN THE WALLS OF THE HOUSE ... IS TO OBVIATE THE NE
CESSITY OF ALL THE TRAPPINGS OF THE HOUSE ... AND SO EXPEDIT
E THE PASSAGE OF THE BILL ... $
... I SAID - WE CAN OBVIATE THE NECESSITY FOR ALL THE TRAPPI
NGS OF THE HOUSE ... $
02 NO . $
IT 'S NO GOOD . $
I 'M NOT GOING TO . $
09 ARTHUR ! $
MR BENTWOOD ! $
UP , SIR ! $
DISGRACEFUL ! $
02 NO ! $
01 MR CHAIRMAN , I HOLD THAT A CERTAIN REPRESENTATIVE IS IN
FLAGRANT DESPISAL OF THE HOUSE ... $
03 STAND UP , DAMN YOU ! $
02 THAT 'S JUST IT ! $
IT 'S WHAT YOU SAID ! $
WE 'RE NOT IN THE HOUSE ! ... $
... IF YOU 'RE GOING TO THROW ALL THE OLD TRADITIONS OVERBOA
RD - ALL RIGHT ! $
IF THAT 'S THE WAY YOU WANT IT ! $
THROW THEM ALL OUT - $
TRIPPING THE MACE ON FIRST DAY - THAT CAN GO , FOR A START !
 $
AND ALL THE OTHERS - YOU 'LL END UP WITH NO ROYAL SUBSTANTIA
TION , NO ROYAL AMBUSCADE - NOTHING ! $
07 IT IS OBVIOUS , MR BENTWOOD , THAT YOU ARE OVERWROUGHT ,
SO I WILL IGNORE THESE REMARKS ... $
02 NO , NO ! $
I 'M JUST CARRYING ON WHERE YOU LEAVE OFF ! $
07 MR BENTWOOD - WHAT I SAID WAS THAT NOT ALL THE CUSTOMS OF
THE HOUSE ... ARE CARRIED OVER INTO COUNCIL . $
#38 $RE CARRIED OVER INTO COUNCIL . $
NOT ALL . $
NEVERTHELESS , THIS COUNCIL IS PART OF THE HOUSE ... OR - AS
 FEATHERSTONHAUGH ONCE PUT IT - ' THE HOUSE IN MICROCOSM ' .
 $
AND THERE ARE CERTAIN THINGS WHICH CANNOT BE DROPPED . $
AND THE SHOWING OF RESPECT FOR THE HOUSE ... IS ONE OF THEM
. $
02 NONSENSE ! $
ALL BLOODY NONSENSE , THAT IS ! $
IT 'S NOTHING TO DO WITH SHOWING RESPECT FOR THE HOUSE ... T
HE REASON WHY YOU HAVE TO STAND UP WHEN YOU MENTION THE HOUS
E ... IS TO SHOW THAT YOU CAN STAND UP ! $
ARE YOU SUGGESTING I 'M DRUNK ? $
EH ? $
NINE O'CLOCK IN THE MORNING AND HE 'S TELLING ME I 'M DRUNK
! $
THAT 'S NICE , ISN'T IT ? $
01 AS IS ALL TOO OFTEN THE CASE , MR BENTWOOD HAS GOT HIS FA
CTS WRONG . $
ALTHOUGH IT IS A POPULAR NOTION AMONG THE UNEDUCATED THAT RE
PRESENTATIVES HAD TO STAND UP AT CERTAIN TIMES TO SHOW THAT
THEY WERE NOT INCAPABLE THROUGH DRINK , THERE IS ABSOLUTELY
NO EVIDENCE WHATEVER FOR THIS BELIEF . $
THE STANDING IS ABSOLUTELY NO EVIDENCE WHATEVER FOR THIS BEL
IEF . $
THE STANDING IS MERELY A PROPER SIGN THAT THE REPRESENTATIVE
 DEFERS TO THE HOUSE ... AND RECOGNISES ITS AUTHORITY AS A C
ORPORATE WHOLE . $
02 ROT ! $
I 'VE GOT THE BOOK AT HOME , IF YOU LIKE - IT 'S TO SHOW YOU
 'RE NOT DRUNK ! $
07 WE SEEM TO BE WANDERING FROM THE POINT . $
03 YOU 'RE TELLING ME . $
06 AND WASTING VALUABLE TIME ! $
02 NO , WE ARE NOT WASTING TIME ! $
THIS IS IMPORTANT . $
IF WE 'RE GOING TO LET EVERYTHING GO LIKE THIS , WE 'RE GOIN
G TO BRING THE WHOLE SYSTEM INTO DISREPUTE ! $
03 THEN WHY DON'T YOU STAND UP WHEN YOU 'RE MEANT TO ? $
02 TO SHOW YOU - THAT 'S WHY ! $
TO SHOW YOU THAT ONCE YOU START LETTING THINGS GO THEY GET A
LL OUT OF HAND ! $
06 WAIT A MINUTE ! $
IT STARTED AS A DISAGREEMENT AS TO WHETHER MASTER HENRY HAD
A RIGHT TO CONTINUE PROPOSING HIS AMENDMENT ONCE HE HAD STAR
TED IT IMPROPERLY COVERED . $
02 RIGHT ! $
RIGHT FIRST TIME ! $
NOW YOU 'RE GOING TO TELL ME THAT 'S NOT IMPORTANT , I SUPPO
SE ? $
06 OF COURSE I 'M NOT ... $
02 WELL , THEN ! $
BUT DO YOU KNOW WHY IT 'S IMPORTANT ? $
01 MR CHAIRMAN , CAN WE BE SPARED ANOTHER OF MR BENTWOOD'S M
ISINFORMED LECTURES ON CONSTITUTIONAL HISTORY ? $
07 MR BENTWOOD ... $
02 NO , NO , NO . $
THIS YOUNG GENTLEMAN HERE SEEMS IN NEED OF ENLIGHTENMENT ...
 $
03 MY WORD ! - NEVER THOUGHT I 'D LIVE TO HEAR OUR ARFUR USI
NG THREE-SYLLABLE WORDS ! $
01 FOUR . $
03 HOW RIGHT YOU ARE ! $
BEEN SITTING ON THE DICTIONARY , ARFUR ? $
02 THEY MAY MOCK ME ... $
01 THANK YOU . $
02 ... BUT HE WHO LAUGHS LAST LAUGHS LOUDEST ... $
01 LONGEST ! $
02 THE REASON FOR COVERING THE HEAD WHEN PROPOSING AN AMENDM
ENT HARKS BACK TO THE SEVENTEENTH CENTURY ... $
04 THESE ASHTRAYS ARE FILTHY ! $
07 WHAT ? $
04 LOOK . $
07 PLEASE , MRS MUIR ... $
04 IT 'S TRUE ! $
WHO 'S RESPONSIBLE , HENRY ? $
GALLEY COMMITTEE ? $
03 SUPPOSE SO . $
IT HASN'T BEEN CLEANED , YOU KNOW . $
04 IF THERE 'S ONE THING I HATE IT 'S THE SMELL OF STALE TOB
ACCO . $
07 MRS MUIR - MASTER HENRI - PLEASE ... ! $
02 IF I COULD GO ON ? $
01 COULD WE VOTE ON THAT ? $
02 IN THE SEVENTEENTH CENTURY - ABOUT SEVENTEEN-SEVENTY , I
THINK IT WAS - THE MONARCH OF THAT TIME ... $
01 GEORGE THE FIFTH ... $
02 ... GEORGE THE FIFTH ... $
NO IT WASN'T ! $
WELL , ANYWAY , WHOEVER IT WAS - IT WAS HIS HABIT TO STAND I
N THE MONARCH'S GALLERY IN THE HOUSE ... $
03 FUNNY BASTARD ! $
02 ... WHEN THE HOUSE ... WAS IN SESSION . $$
AND WHAT THE MONARCH USED TO DO WAS THIS - IF THERE WAS SOME
 PIECE OF LEGISLATION GOING THROUGH THAT THE MONARCH WAS IN
FAVOUR OF - WELL , ANYONE WHO STOOD UP TO MAKE AN AMENDMENT
- THE MONARCH USED TO SPIT OVER THE RAIL AT THEM ... $
01 WHAT DO THEY TEACH THEM AT THESE COUNCIL SCHOOLS ? $
02 IT 'S TRUE ! $
IT 'S TRUE ! $
SO THEY USED TO TAKE THAT PIECE OF CLOTH IN WITH THEM TO PRO
TECT THEM FROM THE SPIT . $
THAT 'S HOW IT GREW UP - THAT HABIT - IT 'S TO SHOW RESPECT
FOR THE RULING MONARCH ... SO ... $
04 I DON'T QUITE FOLLOW THAT . $
06 IT 'S A DISGUSTING STORY ANYWAY . $
02 DISGUSTING OR NOT , IT 'S GOD'S TRUTH ! $
SO ... $
05 PART OF OUR ISLAND HERITAGE . $
02 SO THAT 'S THE POINT - IF HE STARTS A MOTION UNCOVERED -
HE CAN'T GO ON WITH IT UNTIL AT LEAST THREE OTHER MOTIONS OR
 AMENDMENTS HAVE BEEN PUT BY OTHER REPRESENTATIVES ... $
06 WHY IS THAT ? $
01 DON'T ASK HIM ! $
02 I DON'T KNOW . $
05 I SUPPOSE IT 'S SUPPOSED TO EQUAL THE AMOUNT OF TIME REQU
IRED TO SCRAPE THE ROYAL PHLEGM OUT OF THE PERUQUE . $
04 PLEASE ! $
01 I MOVE THAT A CERTAIN REPRESENTATIVE BE PROSCRIBED FROM F
URTHER PART IN THE DELIBERATIONS OF THIS COUNCIL UNTIL HE HA
S QUITTANCED HIS DESPISAL BY RISING TO THE HOUSE AT LEAST EL
EVEN TIMES - THIS BEING THE NUMBER OF TIMES ON WHICH HE HAS
SHOWN FLAGRANT DISRESPECT FOR THE HOUSE - THAT MAKES TWELVE
- BY NOT RISING AND SHOWING HIS RESPECT . $
03 I SECOND THAT . $
07 I DON'T KNOW THAT THE MOTION IS IN ORDER ... $
04 WHY NOT ? $
WHY ISN'T IT ? $
07 WELL , IT 'S REALLY A MATTER FOR A DISCIPLINARY SUBCOMMIT
TEE ... $
03 NONSENSE ! $
NONSENSE ! $
01 I SHOULD HAVE THOUGHT THIS WAS A PERFECTLY SIMPLE MATTER
, MR CHAIRMAN . $
THERE IS NO QUESTION BUT THAT MR BENTWOOD HAS FAILED TO RISE
 TO THE HOUSE ... THAT MAKES THIRTEEN ... AND I THINK THAT N
ONE OF US HERE DOUBTS THAT THIS CONSTITUTES DISRESPECT AND P
UTS MR BENTWOOD IN DESPISAL ... $
D IN DESPISAL ... $
04 03 HEAR ! $
HEAR ! $
07 YES , YES - BUT EVEN IF WE AGREE THAT , WE DON'T HAVE THE
 AUTHORITY TO IMPOSE A DISCIPLINE ON MR BENTWOOD . $
THAT WOULD BE FOR A SUB-COMMITTEE , AS I SAID . $
02 05 06 HEAR ! $
HEAR ! $
04 THAT SEEMS A VERY CONVENIENT WAY OF NOT LOSING YOUR MAJOR
ITY ... $
07 MRS MUIR ! $
ARE YOU QUESTIONING THE IMPARTIALITY OF THE CHAIR ? $
04 OH , NO ! $
07 MRS MUIR , I DO NOT LIKE YOUR TONE ... $
05 ENOUGH ! $
ENOUGH ! $
WHILE WE ARGUE HERE PEOPLE MAY BE DYING ! $
WHILE WE FRITTER AWAY WHAT LITTLE TIME WE HAVE , WOMEN AND C
ILDREN MAY BE SHOT DOWN ! $
WE HAVE A LONG AND COMPLICATED BILL TO DISCUSS PARAGRAPH BY
PARAGRAPH . $
03 ON A POINT OF ORDER , MR CHAIRMAN ... ! $
05 ... IF WE HAVE NOT GOT THROUGH THIS BILL BY ... $
#39
03 MR CHAIRMAN - ON A POINT OF ORDER ! $
07 WHAT IS IT , MASTER HENRY ? $
05 LET ME FINISH ! $
03 MR BEAMISH IS OUT OF ORDER . $
WE ARE NOT DISCUSSING THE BILL - THERE IS A MOTION BEFORE TH
E COUNCIL CONCERNING MR BENTWOOD'S DESPISAL ... $
06 THE CHAIRMAN 'S ALREADY RULED ON THAT ! $
01 NO , HE HASN'T . $
06 YES , HE HAS . $
01 NO , HE HASN'T . $
06 YES , HE HAS ! $
HE SAID IT WAS A MATTER FOR A DISCIPLINARY SUB-COMMITTEE . $
03 ALL RIGHT , THEN ! $
IF IT 'S A MATTER FOR A DISCIPLINARY SUB-COMMITTEE , MR BENT
WOOD MUST BE SUSPENDED FROM TAKING PART IN THIS COUNCIL UNTI
L THE DECISION OF THE COMMITTEE IS MADE KNOWN . $
07 ONE MOMENT , PLEASE . $
I WAS ONLY VENTURING AN OPINION . $
I WISH TO PROPOSE A MOTION ... $
03 OUT OF ORDER ! $
OUT OF ORDER ! $
THE COUNCIL IS ALREADY CONSIDERING MR HAGGARD'S MOTION ON TH
E DISGRACEFUL CONDUCT OF MR BENTWOOD . $
04 01 HEAR ! $
HEAR ! $
06 HE 'S RULED ON THAT ! $
03 NO , HE HASN'T ! $
HE JUST ADMITTED HE HADN'T . $
HE SAID HE WAS ONLY VENTURING AN OPINION . $
THEREFORE HE HASN'T RULED ON IT . $
THEREFORE MR HAGGARD'S MOTION STILL STANDS . $
05 MAY I SPEAK ? $
03 IS IT GERMANE TO MR HAGGARD'S MOTION ? $
05 YES . $
03 VERY WELL THEN . $
07 ONE MOMENT , PLEASE ! $
MASTER HENRY - I AM THE CHAIRMAN OF THIS COUNCIL ... $
03 WELL , GET ON WITH IT , THEN . $
06 02 05 SHAME ! $
SHAME ! $
WITHDRAW ! $
03 IF THE CHAIRMAN WON'T CONTROL THIS COUNCIL HE MUSN'T BE S
URPRISED IF SOMEONE DOES IT FOR HIM . $
06 02 05 SHAME ! $
SHAME ! $
03 VERY WELL , I SHALL RE-PHRASE MY REMARK . $
I SUGGEST THAT THE CHAIRMAN SHOULD PROCEED AS EXPEDITIOUSLY
AS POSSIBLE ... $
07 I AM THE CHAIRMAN , MASTER HENRY ... $
04 I THINK , PERHAPS THAT MASTER HENRY MEANT TO IMPLY THAT T
HE CHAIR IS NOT CONTROLLING THE COUNCIL AS WELL AS MIGHT BE
EXPECTED FROM A MAN OF HIS EXPERIENCE . $
ONE IS FORCED TO WONDER IF THIS LACK OF CONTROL IS A DELIBER
ATE STRATEGY . $
01 TACTIC . $
04 WHAT ? $
01 TACTIC . $
THIS GOVERNMENT IS INCAPABLE OF STRATEGY . $
05 IF I MAY SAY SO , MY FRIENDS OPPOSITE CANNOT WITH ANY JUS
TICE TALK OF STRATEGY AFTER THEIR OWN LIBERIAN DEBACLE ... $
03 ROT ! $
BLOODY ROT ! $
02 WITHDRAW ! $
WITHDRAW ! $
03 YOU 'RE NOT ALLOWED TO COMMENT ! $
02 OH , YES I AM ! $
04 YOU MOST CERTAINLY ARE NOT ! $
UNTIL YOU 'VE QUITTANCED YOUR DESPISAL YOU ... $
05 MASTER HENRY MAY SAY ' BLOODY ROT ' IF HE LIKES . $
INDEED IT IS THE MOST INTELLIGENT ARGUMENT THAT ONE IS LIKEL
Y TO GET FROM HIM - BUT THE FACT REMAINS THAT WHEN HE AND HI
S PARTY WERE IN POWER ... $
01 IT IS WELL KNOWN THAT MR BEAMISH'S CHIEF INTEREST IS IN H
ISTORY - INDEED MY OWN CHILDREN HAVE BEEN CAUGHT READING HIS
 ILLUSTRATED SAGA OF HEREWARD THE WAKE IN ONE OF THE COMIC W
EEKLIES - BUT HE MUST NOT WASTE THE COUNCIL'S TIME BY DELVIN
G INTO THE PAST . $
05 I 'M GLAD TO HEAR THAT THE HONOURABLE REPRESENTATIVE'S CH
ILDREN AT LEAST ARE GETTING A LIBERAL EDUCATION . $
SUCH AN ADVANTAGE WOULD HAVE STOOD HIM IN GOOD STEAD WHEN HE
 BLINDLY SUPPORTED HIS OWN AILING LEADER AT THE TIME OF THE
LIBERIAN MASSACRE ... $
03 I SHOULD LIKE TO KNOW BY WHAT RIGHT MR BEAMISH CONTINUALL
Y SLANDERS THE BRAVE FIGHTING MEN OF THIS COUNTRY WITH HIS S
NIDE REFERENCES TO THE CAMPAIGN IN LIBERIA ? $
05 I DON'T SLANDER THE FIGHTING MEN . $
I DON'T CRITICISE THE FIGHTING MEN AT ALL . $
IT IS THEIR LEADERS , BOTH POLITICAL AND MILITARY , THE ARMC
HAIR STRATEGISTS , THE KITCHEN COMMANDOES , THAT I INDICT !
$
03 I SEE . $
I 'M SURE MR BEAMISH WON'T OBJECT IF I DELVE INTO HISTORY A
LITTLE AND REMARK THAT A FAT LOT HE KNOWS ABOUT MILITARY OPE
RATIONS - HIS SOLE MILITARY EXPERIENCE HAVING BEEN BROUGHT T
O AN END BY HIS RETIREMENT FROM THE HOME GUARD WITH FLAT FEE
T ! $
NOT WHAT ONE WOULD CALL AN OUTSTANDING ' FEAT ' OF ARMS ! $
05 MASTER HENRY'S JOKES ARE AS SHAKY AS THE GROUND HE HAS CH
OSEN FOR ARGUMENT . $
WHATEVER MY OWN MILITARY HISTORY , AT LEAST I DIDN'T AMASS A
 FURTUNE SELLING BOMBS FOR THE ITALIANS TO DROP ON ETHIOPIAN
 TRIBESMEN ! $
03 01 04 WITHDRAW ! $
WITHDRAW ! $
SHAME ! $
05 DENY IT , THEN ! $
DENY IT ! $
04 MASTER HENRY DOES NOT HAVE TO DENY SUCH A CANARD ! $
IF MR BEAMISH CARES TO REPEAT IT OUTSIDE THE PROTECTION OF T
HIS COUNCIL , I 'M SURE THAT MASTER HENRY WILL MAKE MR BEAMI
SH REGRET IT ! $
MASTER HENRY FOUGHT GALLANTLY FOR HIS COUNTRY ... $
05 WHICH ONE ? $
ITALY ? $
03 HOW DARE YOU ! $
HOW DARE YOU ! $
05 TEMPER , TEMPER . $
01 MR CHAIRMAN , I FEEL THAT MR BEAMISH'S LAST REMARK HAS EX
CEEDED EVEN THE VERY LIBERAL BOUNDS THAT WE PLACE UPON PERSO
NAL COURTESY IN COUNCIL ... AND I THINK WE CANNOT POSSIBLY C
ONTINUE UNTIL HE HAS APOLOGISED FOR IT . $
02 PUT A SOCK IN IT ! $
05 ALL RIGHT . $
ALL RIGHT - I 'LL WITHDRAW MY REMARKS IF MASTER HENRY WILL W
ITHDRAW HIS . $
07 MASTER HENRY ? $
03 I 'M NOT SURE TO WHICH REMARKS MR BEAMISH IS REFERRING .
$
07 DID YOU HEAR THAT , MR BEAMISH ? $
05 HE KNOWS PERFECTLY WELL . $
07 DO YOU , MASTER HENRY ? $
03 I 'M SORRY - MR BEAMISH HAS THE ADVANTAGE OF ME . $
07 HAS HE , MR BEAMISH ? $
02 HE KNOWS ! $
HE KNOWS ! $
07 PLEASE , MR BENTWOOD . $
02 WELL - HE 'S PUTTING IT ON ! $
IT 'S OBVIOUS , ISN'T IT ? $
THEY 'RE ALL THE SAME - AS SOON AS THEY PUT ON THAT THREE-GU
INEA ACCENT - $
' AI 'M SORRY - MR BEAMISH 'AS THE ADVANTAGE OF ME ' ! $
IT 'S ALL PUT ON . $
HE KNOWS . $
03 PERHAPS MR BEAMISH MEANS MY ALLUSION TO HIS FLAT FEET ? $
05 PURELY FOR MASTER HENRY'S INFORMATION , IT WAS NOT FLAT F
EET BUT A STRAINED ACHILLE'S TENDON . $
01 NOT VERY INAPPROPRIATE . $
03 VERY WELL , THEN . $
SINCE MR BEAMISH IS SO SENSITIVE ABOUT HIS PHYSICAL ABNORMAL
ITIES . $
I WITHDRAW MY REMARKS ABOUT HIS FLAT FEET , BUT MY OPINION O
F HIS QUALIFICATIONS TO PASS JUDGEMENT ON MATTERS MILITARY M
UST STAND . $
05 MASTER HENRY IS AS MAGNANIMOUS AS EVER . $
I ACCEPT HIS APOLOGIES AND IN RETURN I WITHDRAW MY IMPLICATI
ON THAT MASTER HENRY'S LOYALTY WAS IN ANY WAY DIVIDED BY HIS
 FINANCIAL INTEREST IN THE FASCIST CAUSE . $
03 THAT IS NOT GOOD ENOUGH ! $
MR CHAIRMAN , I SUBMIT THAT THAT IS NO WITHDRAWAL ! $
THESE SCURRILOUS INNUENDOES CANNOT BE ALLOWED TO STAND ! $
07 I AGREE WITH MASTER HENRY , MR BEAMISH . $
YOU MUST WITHDRAW THE REMARKS UNEQUIVOCALLY . $
03 BLOODY CONCHIE ! $
06 THAT IS THE MOST OBJECTIONABLE REMARK ! $
05 NO , NO - LET HIM GO ON . $
I ENJOY SEEING THEM COME OUT IN THEIR TRUE COLOURS . $
03 I HAVE NOTHING FURTHER TO SAY UNTIL YOU HAVE WITHDRAWN YO
UR INSULTING REMARKS . $
05 VERY WELL , THEN . $
I SHOULD CERTAINLY HATE TO SEE THE PRIDE OF THE OPPOSITION G
AGGED BY SOME DEFAULT ON MY PART . $
I SHALL APOLOGISE . $
I 'M SORRY IF I 'VE OFFENDED MASTER HENRY BY DRAWING ATTENTI
ON TO HIS UNDOUBTED BUSINESS ACUMEN ... $
#40
03 HE 'S DOING IT AGAIN ! $
05 ... IT 'S SOMETHING THAT IS USUALLY APPLAUDED ON HIS SIDE
 OF THE TABLE . $
01 MR CHAIRMAN , THIS REALLY MUST STOP . $
06 I AM THE MOTHER OF FOUR CHILDREN ... $
04 OH , SHUT UP ! $
06 ... I DON'T KNOW IF I 'M THE BEST MOTHER IN THE WORLD - I
 MAKE A LOT OF MISTAKES . $
BUT WHAT I DO KNOW IS THIS - WHATEVER MISTAKES I MAY HAVE MA
DE IN THEIR UP-BRINGING , I 'M SURE THAT THEY NEVER BEHAVE A
S BADLY AS YOU 'RE ALL DOING AT THE MOMENT ! $
01 ON A POINT OF ORDER , MR CHAIRMAN . $
DELIGHTFUL THOUGH SUCH A DISCUSSION MIGHT PROVE , WE ARE NOT
 DISCUSSING OUR NEED FOR THE MATERNAL MINISTRATIONS OF MRS S
WINK . $
NOR ARE WE VITALLY CONCERNED WITH MRS SWINK'S DELIGHTFUL CHI
LDREN AND THE PRAISE-WORTHY SKILL WHICH SHE NO DOUBT LAVISHE
S ON THEM . $
WE ARE DISCUSSING WHETHER OR NOT MR BENTWOOD SHOULD BE ALLOW
ED TO TAKE PART IN THE DELIBERATIONS OF THIS COUNCIL . $
05 NOT AT ALL ! $
WE 'RE DISCUSSING MR BENTWOOD'S POINT OF ORDER ABOUT YOUR FR
IEND THERE BEING UNCOVERED . $
03 ROT ! $
I WANT AN APOLOGY . $
A PROPER APOLOGY . $
02 HE WAS UNCOVERED - THAT 'S THE POINT ! $
04 APOLOGISE ! $
APOLOGISE ! $
05 HE 'S GOT TO WAIT UNTIL THREE OTHER MOTIONS HAVE BEEN PRO
POSED ... ! $
03 I TAKE NO FURTHER PART IN THIS COUNCIL UNTIL I GET AN APO
LOGY ... ! $
06 I CAN DO WITHOUT THE SARCASTIC REMARKS OF MR HAGGARD ! $
07 ORDER ! $
ORDER ! $
I WILL HAVE ORDER ! $
08 I 'M AFRAID I DIDN'T GET ALL THAT . $
07 NEVER MIND . $
NEVER MIND . $
I HAVE NEVER WITNESSED SUCH A DISGRACEFUL EXHIBITION ... $
06 I AGREE ! $
I AGREE ! $
THEY BEHAVE LIKE CHILDREN ! $
WORSE THAN CHILDREN ! $
I AGREE ! $
04 SHE 'S AT IT AGAIN . $
07 THANK YOU , MRS SWINK . $
MRS MUIR , WHEN I NEED YOUR HELP I WILL CALL ON YOU . $
04 WELL , HE NEEDS SOMEBODY'S HELP . $
07 NOW ... $
... FROM NOW ON THIS COUNCIL WILL PROCEED IN AN ORDERLY MANN
ER . $
I WILL NOT HAVE THIS COUNCIL TURNED INTO A BEAR-PIT . $
04 A BEAR-PIT ? $
03 WHAT HAVE BEARS GOT TO DO WITH IT ? $
07 WELL - I CAN'T BEAR IT ANY LONGER , ANYWAY . $
NO - COME ALONG NOW - LET 'S JUST HAVE A BIT OF CO-OPERATION
 FROM EVERYBODY AND WE 'LL BE THROUGH THIS BILL IN NO TIME .
 $
RIGHT ? $
WELL - WE HAVE GOT OURSELVES INTO A BIT OF A MESS HERE NOW ,
 HAVEN'T WE ? $
MOTIONS AND AMENDMENTS ALL OVER THE PLACE ... $
WELL , I 'LL TELL YOU WHAT WE 'LL DO . $
I 'LL CONSULT WITH MISS ... OUR CHARMING SECRETARY , HERE -
GO BACK OVER THE MINUTES OF THIS COUNCIL - GET THE MOTIONS W
E ALREADY HAVE BEFORE US AND DEAL WITH THEM IN ORDER ? $
DOES THAT SEEM LIKE A GOOD IDEA ? $
04 AS LONG AS WE CAN HAVE SOME COFFEE WHILE YOU DO . $
07 YES . $
YES - ALL RIGHT . $
FIVE MINUTES . $
03 I 'LL ORDER , SHALL I ? $
SERGEANT , CAN I HAVE THE GALLEY , PLEASE ? $
06 OH - I 'D DIE FOR MY COFFEE IN THE MORNINGS ! $
01 GOOD HEAVENS . $
06 OH - BUT WHEN YOU 'VE GOT ALL THE KIDS PACKED OFF TO SCHO
OL - I MEAN , DEARLY AS ONE LOVES THEM ... $
02 CAN WE GET TEA ? $
CAN WE GET TEA ? $
03 IN COUNCIL ROOM 14 . $
02 OH - I SEE , I SEE . $
05 I WONDER IF THERE 'S ANY NEWS FROM ZINGAWA . $
01 AH - THE VOICE OF CONSCIENCE . $
03 CONSCIENCE IS RIGHT ! $
I 'VE BEEN SUFFERING BEAMISH'S CONSCIENCE FOR ABOUT TEN YEAR
S NOW . $
05 GLAD TO HAVE BEEN OF SERVICE . $
03 WHAT WOULD YOU EXPECT TO HEAR FROM ZINGAWA , ANYWAY ? $
IF THE ZINGAWAN MOB CLOSE THAT RAILWAY - WHICH THEY WILL - A
MALOVIA 'S GOING TO GET IT OPEN AGAIN . $
COME HELL AND HIGH WATER THEY 'RE GOING TO GET IT OPEN AGAIN
 . $
04 THEY 'VE GOT NO CHOICE . $
05 AND HOW DO THEY PROPOSE TO DO IT ? $
03 BY MOVING INTO ZINGAWA AND BELTING HELL OUT OF THEM , OF
COURSE . $
05 WELL , IT 'S OUR JOB TO STOP THEM . $
03 YOURS MAYBE . $
NOT MINE . $
04 OUR TROOPS WOULD NEVER SIDE WITH BLACK AGAINST WHITE ANYW
AY . $
05 OH , THEY 'D MUTINY , WOULD THEY ? $
03 NOT MUTINY AT ALL . $
THEY 'RE JUST NOT GOING TO SHOOT DOWN THEIR OWN KIND . $
05 THEIR OWN KIND . $
A NATION OF TAX-DODGERS ! $
03 WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT AMALOVIA ? $
05 RATHER MORE THAN YOU KNOW ABOUT DEMOCRACY , APPARENTLY .
$
03 OH - ZINGAWA IS THE MODEL OF A DEMOCRATIC STATE , IS IT ?
 $
HAVE YOU EVER LIVED THERE ? $
06 IT ISN'T NECESSARY TO LIVE THERE . $
THAT 'S GOT NOTHING TO DO WITH IT . $
03 OH , MY GOD ! $
07 GENTLEMEN , PLEASE . $
PLEASE , PLEASE . $
WELL NOW . $
WE 'VE GOT FOUR MOTIONS BEFORE US . $
FIRSTLY WE HAVE MASTER HENRY'S AMENDMENT TO THE BILL ... $
03 WHICH I NEVER GOT A CHANGE TO FINISH ! $
05 BECAUSE YOU WERE UNCOVERED ! $
07 GENTLEMEN ! $
WE 'RE COMING TO THAT . $
THE NEXT POINT WE HAVE TO CONSIDER IS WHETHER MASTER HENRY S
HOULD BE ALLOWED TO GO ON WITH THIS AMENDMENT AS HE STARTED
IT UNCOVERED . $
THEN THERE 'S THE QUESTION OF WHETHER MR BENTWOOD IS IN DESP
ISAL OF THE HOUSE . $
AND LASTLY THERE 'S THE MATTER OF MR BEAMISH'S APOLOGY TO MA
STER HENRY . $
05 AH - LET 'S GET ON WITH IT ! $
ALL RIGHT . $
I WITHDRAW MY REMARKS . $
MEA CULPA . $
07 GOOD . $
GOOD . $
NOW WE 'RE GETTING SOMEWHERE . $
THANK YOU , MR BEAMISH . $
03 I DON'T SEE THAT IT 'S AN OCCASION FOR THANKS . $
HE ONLY DID WHAT ANY DECENT MAN WOULD HAVE DONE LONG AGO ...
 . $
05 I OBJECT , MR CHAIRMAN ! $
07 NOW , NOW , NOW , NOW , NOW ! $
I 'M SORRY , MASTER HENRY . $
I 'LL WITHDRAW MY THANKS TO MR BEAMISH . $
03 THANK YOU . $
07 THERE . $
NOW THE QUESTION OF WHETHER MR BENTWOOD IS IN DESPISAL . $
WILL THE COUNCIL ACCEPT THE CHAIR'S RULING ON THIS ? $
01 I MOVE THAT THE COUNCIL ACCEPTS THE CHAIR'S RULING ON THI
S MATTER . $
06 I SECOND THAT . $
07 THOSE IN FAVOUR ? $
MOTION CARRIED . $
VERY WELL . $
I RULE THAT MR BENTWOOD IS IN DESPISAL OF THE HOUSE AND I FU
RTHER RULE THAT IF MR BENTWOOD WILL RISE TO THE HOUSE FOURTE
EN TIMES , HE WILL HAVE QUITTANCED HIS DESPISAL . $
02 NOT BLOODY HELL I WON'T . $
07 MR BENTWOOD , HEAR ME OUT . $
BEFORE YOU DECIDE WHAT COURSE OF ACTION YOU WILL TAKE - HEAR
 HOW I PROPOSE TO DEAL WITH THE REST OF THE MOTIONS . $
#41
02 IT WON'T MAKE A BLIND BIT OF DIFFERENCE . $
MY POINT IS , THE REPRESENTATIVE OVER THERE WAS OUT OF ORDER
 IN TRYING TO MOVE AN AMENDMENT WHEN HE 'D ALREADY BEEN CALL
ED DOWN FOR BEING UNCOVERED . $
07 EXACTLY . $
I AGREE WITH YOU . $
HE WAS OUT OF ORDER . $
AND HE WILL NOT BE ALLOWED TO CONTINUE WITH HIS AMENDMENT UN
TIL THREE OTHER MOTIONS HAVE BEEN CONSIDERED BY THE COUNCIL
. $
WE 'VE ALREADY HAD TWO OF THEM AND WE WILL NOW CONSIDER THE
THIRD . $
I MOVE THAT MR BENTWOOD BE CONSIDERED IN DESPISAL UNTIL HE H
AS QUITTANCED HIS DESPISAL BY RISING TO THE HOUSE FIFTEEN TI
MES IN THE TRADITIONAL MANNER . $
03 I SECOND THAT . $
07 THOSE IN FAVOUR ? $
MOTION CARRIED . $
NOW , YOU SEE , MR BENTWOOD ? $
WE HAVE CONSIDERED THREE MOTIONS . $
SO WHILE AGREEING WITH YOU THAT MASTER HENRY WAS OUT OF ORDE
R , HE HAS NOW EXPIATED THAT LAPSE AND WE HAVE MADE IT POSSI
BLE FOR HIM TO BRING HIS AMENDMENT BEFORE US AGAIN AND HONOU
R IS SATISFIED ON ALL SIDES . $
09 HEAR ! $
HEAR ! $
02 OH , NO IT ISN'T ! $
NOT ON MY SIDE IT ISN'T ! $
OH - YOU 'RE ALL VERY SMART AND CLEVER . $
HE GETS IT ALL WAYS , DOESN'T HE ? $
07 NO , NO , NO , MR BENTWOOD . $
HE DOESN'T ' GET IT ALL WAYS ' , AS YOU SEE FIT TO EXPRESS I
T . $
YOU 'VE MADE YOUR POINT AND IT IS WELL TAKEN . $
BUT THE NECESSARY FORMS HAVE BEEN GONE THROUGH AND NOW IT ON
LY REMAINS FOR YOU TO QUITTANCE YOUR DESPISAL ... $
02 THAT 'S WHAT I MEAN ! $
THAT 'S JUST WHAT I MEAN - HE GETS OFF AND GETS HIS OWN WAY
JUST BY JUST DOING NOTHING - I HAVE TO DO QUITTANCE FOR OBJE
CTING TO HIS BEING IN THE WRONG ! $
01 THE POINT IS , ARTHUR - THAT YOU SHOWED DESPISAL - WHATEV
ER MASTER HENRY MAY HAVE DONE BEFORE - YOU SHOWED DESPISAL .
 $
THERE 'S AN OLD SAYING YOU MAY HAVE COME ACROSS - ' TWO WRON
GS DON'T MAKE A RIGHT ' . $
02 I 'M NOT SO BLOODY IGNORANT AS YOU LIKE TO THINK I AM , Y
OU KNOW ! $
01 WELL , THAT 'S AN IMMENSE WEIGHT OFF MY MIND . $
02 OH - HE 'S VERY CLEVER , ISN'T HE ? $
VERY CYNICAL . $
IT 'S ALL ETON AND HARROW AND THE REST NOWHERE WITH HIM . $
WELL , LET ME TELL YOU , YOUNG MAN , YOU 'VE HAD IT EASY , H
AVEN'T YOU ? $
YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT IT 'S LIKE TO GET YOUR HANDS DIRTY , DO
YOU ? $
YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT IT 'S LIKE TO WAKE UP IN A STINKING LITT
LE ROOM EVERY MORNING WITH PAPER COMING OFF THE WALLS AND CO
LD LINO ON THE FLOOR - EVERY MORNING - ALL YOUR LIFE - AND Y
OU KNOW - LIKE A GREAT BLACK FOG OVER EVERYTHING - THAT THAT
 'S IT - THAT 'S LIVING - THERE 'S NO GETTING AWAY FROM IT ,
 NOT IF YOU LIVE TO BE A HUNDRED . $
EVERY MORNING ... $
07 MR BENTWOOD ... $
02 NO - YOU LISTEN - YOU 'RE AS BAD - YOU 'RE ALL THE SAME .
 $
YOU 'RE ALL VERY CLEVER YOU SEE ? $
YOU 'VE READ ALL THE RIGHT BOOKS AND YOUR DADDIES AND MUMMIE
S SENT YOU TO ALL THE RIGHT COLLEGES - BUT LIFE ? - YOU DON'
T KNOW WHAT IT 'S ALL ABOUT ! $
YOU DON'T KNOW IF IT 'S SEVEN O'CLOCK OR EASTER SUNDAY MOST
OF THE TIME . $
OH - YOU CAN LAUGH AND HAVE YOUR LITTLE JOKES BECAUSE I DON'
T TALK LIKE YOU DO - ALL THE CATCH-PHRASES ! $
BUT DON'T THINK I 'M GOING TO KOW-TOW TO THEM AND THEIR LOT
- BECAUSE I 'M NOT . $
07 MR BENTWOOD ... $
02 DON'T START AGAIN ! $
06 LEAVE HIM ALONE - ALL OF YOU ! $
HE 'S RIGHT - EVERYTHING HE SAYS IS ABSOLUTELY RIGHT ! $
01 MR CHAIRMAN - CAN WE PLEASE HAVE NO MORE FROM OUR RESIDEN
T MOTHER-FIGURE ... $
05 WITHDRAW ! $
01 ... WE HAVE SEVENTEEN PARAGRAPHS OF THIS MOST IMPORTANT A
ND HIGHLY CONTROVERSIAL BILL TO DISCUSS AND IT MUST BE DONE
BY TOMORROW MORNING IN ORDER TO BE SENT ALONG THERE ... FOR
APPROVAL BEFORE THEY RECESS TOMORROW AFTERNOON . $
IF THIS IS NOT DONE IN TIME WE HAVE NO AUTHORITY TO SEND TRO
OPS TO ZINGAWA - AN ACTION WHICH BOTH SIDES OF THE TABLE SEE
 AS ESSENTIAL IF THE WHOLE OF CENTRAL AFRICA IS NOT TO SLIP
INTO THE MOST BLOODY RACIAL WAR THE WORLD HAS EVER KNOWN . $
WE HAVE ONE DAY , MR CHAIRMAN - ONE DAY ! $
AND WE SPEND OUR TIME BICKERING OVER POINTS OF ORDER AND CHI
LDISH PERSONAL DIFFERENCES ! $
05 WELL - YOU STARTED IT . $
01 THAT IS ABSOLUTELY UNTRUE ! $
THE WHOLE THING WAS STARTED BY THESE GENTLEMEN HERE HOOTING
AT MASTER HENRY ... $
02 BECAUSE HE WAS UNCOVERED ! $
01 VERY WELL - MASTER HENRY WAS UNCOVERED . $
BUT THE CHAIR HAS NOW RULED ON THIS ... $
02 AND HE GETS AWAY WITH IT ! $
06 NOBODY 'S GETTING AWAY WITH ANYTHING . $
ARTHUR - HONESTLY THEY 'RE NOT . $
02 WELL , I THINK THEY ARE . $
04 I WISH THAT COFFEE WOULD ARRIVE . $
01 IF YOU REFUSE TO QUITTANCE YOUR DESPISAL - THERE 'S NOTHI
NG FOR IT BUT THIS COUNCIL MUST CONTINUE WITHOUT THE BENEFIT
 OF YOUR HELP . $
04 ARE YOU SURE THEY SAID THE COFFEE WAS COMING , HENRY ? $
03 THEY SAID IT WAS . $
WE HAVE TO SHARE THE GALLEY FACILITIES WITH THE PEOPLE ALONG
 THERE ... THAT 'S THE TROUBLE . $
02 WELL - I THINK IT 'S UNFAIR . $
06 IT 'S NOT , ARTHUR - HONESTLY IT 'S NOT . $
05 COME ON , ARTHUR - IT 'S IMPORTANT , YOU KNOW . $
02 WELL , SO IS THIS . $
THIS IS A MATTER OF PRINCIPLE . $
IT 'S ALL VERY WELL TRYING TO TEACH PARLIAMENTARY DEMOCRACY
TO THESE BLACKS - BUT WHAT IF WE CAN'T KEEP IT UP PROPERLY O
URSELVES ? $
01 I HARDLY THINK THAT PARLIAMENTARY DEMOCRACY WILL FOUNDER
, ARTHUR - WHATEVER THE RIGHTS AND WRONGS OF THIS PARTICULAR
 CASE . $
02 AH - WELL , THAT 'S WHERE YOU 'RE WRONG , YOU SEE . $
THIS IS WHERE THINGS START CREEPING IN . $
JUST DROP THIS HERE - DROP THAT THERE - YOU END UP WITH NOTH
ING . $
I USED TO THINK THESE TRADITIONS WERE JUST SO MUCH MALARKEY
- BUT I 'VE SEEN THEM LONG ENOUGH NOW TO KNOW THEY 'RE ESSEN
TIAL . $
ESSENTIAL SAFEGUARDS . $
07 BUT SURELY ... $
03 CAN'T WE JUST GET ON WITHOUT HIM ? $
07 EVERY VOTE WOULD BE A STALEMATE . $
03 OH , WELL THEN ... $
02 I DON'T WANT TO HOLD YOU UP . $
I KNOW THIS IS IMPORTANT ALL THIS BLACKY BUSINESS - BUT - AL
L THOSE OVER THERE - THEY JUST WANT TO MAKE ME LOOK A FOOL .
 $
01 OH - ARTHUR - COME ON - THAT 'S NONSENSE AND YOU KNOW IT
. $
02 WELL , I 'D FEEL A FOOL , ANYWAY . $
WOULDN'T YOU FEEL A FOOL GOING UP AND DOWN LIKE THAT FIFTEEN
 TIMES ? $
01 I SHOULD TRY AND THINK OF SOMETHING VERY BEAUTIFUL . $
05 YES - YOU WOULD . $
01 NO - COME ON - JUST LET 'S GET IT OVER WITH . $
05 HOW WOULD IT BE IF WE ALL LOOKED THE OTHER WAY ? $
07 I THINK I SHOULD WATCH TO ENSURE THAT ... $
05 OH , GOOD GOD - WE CAN TRUST ARTHUR , CAN 'T WE ? $
02 NO , NO - FAIR 'S FAIR - I DON'T MIND ONE OF YOU WATCHING
 - REFEREEING LIKE . $
06 WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO DO IT ? $
02 NO , NO . $
MR O'NEILL CAN DO IT - I DON'T MIND HIM DOING IT - FAIR 'S F
AIR . $
01 ALL RIGHT - HENRY - MIRANDA - ARTHUR 'S AGREED TO QUITTAN
CE HIS DESPISAL ... $
03 HOO-BLOODY-RAY . $
01 ... BUT WE 'RE ALL GOING TO LOOK THE OTHER WAY . $
ALL RIGHT ? $
04 WHAT ON EARTH FOR ? $
01 WELL - QUITE NATURALLY HE FEELS A BIT EMBARRASSED ... $
03 GOOD GOD ! - OUR ARFUR EMBARRASSED ! $
02 NOW DON'T YOU START AGAIN ! $
06 TELL YOU WHAT - WE 'LL GO AND LOOK OUT OF THE WINDOW . $
04 I 'VE NEVER KNOWN SUCH A LOT OF FUSS ... ! $
03 THEN CAN WE GET ON WITH THE COUNCIL ? $
OR WOULD THAT BE ASKING TOO MUCH ? $
05 COME ON - THE GIRLS CAN STAND IN FRONT . $
#42
ALL RIGHT ? $
07 ALL RIGHT , ARTHUR ? $
04 PEEP-OH . $
02 HERE ! $
03 NO , COME ON , MIRANDA - LET 'S GET IT OVER WITH FOR GOD'
S SAKE . $
04 OH , ALL RIGHT . $
02 ARE YOU ALL LOOKING OUT THE WINDOW ? $
09 YES . $
GO AHEAD . $
GO ON . $
GET ON WITH IT . $
07 ALL RIGHT , ARTHUR ? $
I 'LL COUNT . $
02 RIGHT . $
HERE WE GO , THEN . $
07 ONE ... $
TWO ... $
THREE ... $
FOUR ... $
FIVE ... $
SIX ... $
SEVEN ... $
EIGHT ... $
02 IT 'S NO GOOD YOU GROANING . $
01 THERE SEEMS VERY LITTLE ELSE TO DO IN THE CIRCUMSTANCES .
 $
02 WELL , IT 'S UP TO HIM , ISN'T IT ? $
03 I REFUSE TO TAKE ANY FURTHER PART IN THIS CHILDISHNESS .
$
02 YOU 'RE THE CHILDISH ONE ! $
YOU 'RE THE ONE THAT WAS SNIGGERING LIKE A LITTLE SCHOOL-KID
 ! $
03 OH ... $
01 ARTHUR - MASTER HENRY HAS GIVEN YOU HIS WORD AS A GENTLEM
AN ... $
02 OH , YEAH ? $
03 OH , YES . $
OH , YES . $
02 GENTLEMEN , DON'T SNIGGER . $
07 I DON'T KNOW IF THAT 'S NECESSARILY TRUE , MR BENTWOOD .
$
01 MASTER HENRY HAS GIVEN YOU HIS WORD AS A GENTLEMAN THAT H
E WAS NOT LAUGHING . $
02 NO - HE WASN'T . $
I NEVER SAID HE WAS . $
SNIGGERING WAS WHAT HE WAS DOING . $
03 SNIGGERING ! $
02 YES - SNIGGERING . $
I COULD SEE HIS SHOULDERS GOING UP AND DOWN . $
LIKE A LITTLE SCHOOL-KID . $
FAIR 'S FAIR - I 'D AGREED TO DO MY RISINGS AND I WAS QUITE
HAPPILY DOING THEM - THEN HE HAS TO GO AND START SNIGGERING
LIKE A LITTLE SCHOOL-KID ... $
03 LOOK - I DON'T KNOW WHY I SHOULD ARGUE ABOUT THIS - BUT F
OR THE LAST TIME - I WAS COUGHING . $
06 HE MAY HAVE BEEN COUGHING , ARTHUR . $
IT WOULD LOOK LIKE THAT . $
FROM THE BACK , IT MIGHT . $
02 ARE YOU TRYING TO TELL ME I DON'T KNOW A COUGH FROM A SNI
GGER ? $
I 'VE LIVED A GOOD DEAL LONGER THAN YOU , MY DEAR . $
I 'VE WORKED ON THE FACTORY FLOOR - I 'VE SERVED ON MORE COM
MITTEES AND COUNCILS THAN YOU 'VE HAD HOT DINNERS . $
YOU LEARN TO KNOW THESE THINGS . $
HIS SHOULDERS WERE GOING UP AND DOWN , UP AND DOWN . $
WITH A COUGH YOU DON'T GET THAT . $
WITH A COUGH YOU GET THE HEAD AND SHOULDERS GOING FORWARD -
BUT SLOWLY . $
THAT 'S IT . $
THAT 'S IT . $
THAT 'S GOOD . $
NOW SNIGGER . $
YOU SEE ? $
IT 'S A DIFFERENT MOVEMENT , ALTOGETHER . $
07 OH - BUT WAIT A MINUTE , MR BENTWOOD . $
IT DOES DEPEND ON WHICH KIND OF COUGH IT IS . $
02 HE WASN'T COUGHING . $
HE WAS SNIGGERING . $
07 WELL - I 'LL PRESERVE THE CHAIR'S IMPARTIALITY ON THAT QU
ESTION FOR A MOMENT , IF I MAY . $
I MUST SAY THAT IN MY OWN EXPERIENCE I 'VE HAD COUGHS WHICH
I 'M SURE MIGHT BE MISTAKEN FOR SNIGGERS . $
FROM THE BACK AT LEAST . $
NOT A FULL-CHESTED COUGH , MIND YOU . $
ONE OF THOSE SUDDEN LITTLE TICKLES IN THE THROAT . $
I EXPECT IT 'S SMOKING TOO MUCH THAT DOES IT . $
02 THERE YOU ARE , THEN ! $
THAT PROVES IT ! $
HE DOESN'T SMOKE ! $
03 OF COURSE I SMOKE ! $
02 NEVER ! $
I 'VE NEVER SEEN YOU SMOKE . $
03 I SMOKE CIGARS ! $
02 I 'VE NEVER SEEN YOU SMOKE CIGARS . $
WHEN DO YOU SMOKE CIGARS ? $
03 QUITE OFTEN . $
QUITE OFTEN . $
02 WELL , I 'VE BEEN SITTING HERE ALL DAY AND HALF OF THE NI
GHT LOOKING AT YOU - I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU SMOKE A CIGAR . $
03 LOOK - THERE THEY ARE ! $
02 THAT DOESN'T PROVE ANYTHING ! $
WHAT DO YOU THINK THAT PROVES ? $
YOUR CLASS CARRIES CIGARS ROUND WITH THEM JUST TO HAND ROUND
 AT YOUR BOARD MEETINGS . $
03 WHAT BOARD MEETINGS ? $
02 YOUR BOARD MEETINGS . $
COMPANY MEETINGS . $
JUST TO LOOK BIG . $
HAVE A CIGAR , OLD BOY . ' $
I KNOW YOUR SORT . $
03 I NEVER GO TO BOARD MEETINGS . $
NEVER ! $
02 WHAT DO YOU DO , THEN ? $
03 WHAT DO YOU MEAN , WHAT DO I DO THEN ? $
02 YOU 'RE A DIRECTOR OF ALL THESE COMPANIES - I READ IT IN
THE PAPER - YOU 'RE DIRECTOR OF MORE COMPANIES THAN ANY OTHE
R REPRESENTATIVE , THIRTY-SEVEN OR SOMETHING . $
YOU MEAN TO SAY YOU NEVER GO TO BOARD MEETINGS ? $
03 I NEVER GO TO BOARD MEETINGS . $
02 THAT 'S GOOD , ISN'T IT ? $
AND VERY TYPICAL , IF I MIGHT SAY SO . $
DRAWS HIS NICE FAT FIVE THOUSAND A YEAR - AND NEVER GOES ! $
NEVER GOES ! $
OH - VERY NICE ! $
I BET YOU NEVER EVEN GO TO THE ANNUAL GENERAL MEETINGS , DO
YOU ? $
03 CERTAINLY NOT . $
02 NO . $
NO , I 'M SURE . $
HE MIGHT HAVE TO MIX WITH ALL THE SHAREHOLDERS . $
HOW COMMON ! $
HOW VULGAR ! $
01 THIS IS A NEW PERSONA , ARTHUR . $
ARTHUR BENTWOOD - THE SHAREHOLDERS' FRIEND . $
07 IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE SMOKING , ANYWAY . $
02 WHAT DOESN'T ? $
07 THAT TICKLE IN THE THROAT . $
I MEAN - I JUST SAID IT WAS SMOKING , BUT IT MIGHT NOT BE -
NOT NECESSARILY . $
I OFTEN GET IT AND I DON'T SMOKE A LOT . $
02 AH - BUT YOU DO SMOKE . $
06 YOU MEAN THAT TICKLE RIGHT AT THE BACK OF YOUR THROAT ? $
IT JUST SUDDENLY COMES ON ? $
07 THAT 'S IT . $
THAT 'S IT . $
JUST SUDDENLY COMES ON . $
NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT . $
06 OH - I GET THAT . $
I OFTEN GET THAT AND I DON'T SMOKE AT ALL . $
WELL - ONLY OCCASIONALLY AT PARTIES . $
NOT EVEN THEN SOMETIMES . $
07 YOU SEE ? $
AND WHEN YOU GET THAT , I 'M SURE IT COULD BE MISTAKEN FOR A
 SNIGGER . $
02 AH - YOU 'RE JUST PUTTING THAT ON ! $
ANYONE CAN DO THAT . $
06 BUT THAT 'S WHAT YOU DO WHEN YOU 'VE GOT THAT LITTLE TICK
LE IN YOUR THROAT , ARTHUR . $
02 WHAT - A POOFY LITTLE COUGH LIKE THAT ? $
I 'VE NEVER COUGHED LIKE THAT . $
NEVER . $
I 'VE BEEN COUGHING LONGER THAN I CARE TO THINK ABOUT AND I
'VE NEVER COUGHED LIKE THAT . $
06 PERHAPS YOU JUST DON'T GET THAT LITTLE TICKLE IN YOUR THR
OAT ... ? $
#43
02 COURSE I DO - EVERYONE GETS THAT . $
RIGHT AT THE BACK , YOU MEAN ? $
RIGHT ALMOST LIKE ON YOUR TONSILS ? $
06 OH - NOT THE TONSILS , NO . $
I THINK IT 'S MORE ON THE PHARYNX , REALLY . $
02 NO - THAT 'S WHAT YOU LOSE YOUR VOICE WITH , YOUR PHARYNX
 . $
07 THAT 'S YOUR LARYNX . $
HENCE LARYNGITIS . $
02 LOSING YOUR VOICE - THAT 'S WHAT I SAY . $
06 PHARYNX - NOT LARYNX . $
LARYNGITIS IS WHEN YOU LOSE YOUR VOICE . $
PHARYNGITIS IS SOMETHING ELSE . $
02 THAT SEEMS LIKE A PRETTY STUPID WAY TO GO ABOUT THINGS .
$
01 WHAT DOES ? $
02 HAVING THIS PHARYNX AND LARYNX ALL MIXED TOGETHER . $
NO WONDER THEY GET ALL CONFUSED , THESE DOCTORS . $
06 OH , THEY DON'T ARTHUR . $
AT LEAST - NOT VERY OFTEN . $
02 COURSE THEY DO - IT 'S IN THE PAPERS ALL THE TIME - HOW T
HEY GO CUTTING THE WRONG BITS OFF PEOPLE . $
06 WELL - I THINK THEY 'RE MARVELLOUS . $
THE ONE WE 'VE GOT NOW IS REALLY TERRIFIC . $
HE REALLY CARES ABOUT HIS PATIENTS . $
MIND YOU - THE ONE WE HAD BEFORE ... ! $
HE WAS DREADFUL . $
I TELEPHONED HIM ONE MORNING ... $
07 MRS SWINK - PLEASE ... ! $
06 OH . $
OH , SORRY . $
BUT LOOK - JUST LET ME TELL YOU THIS NOW I 'VE STARTED . $
IT WON'T TAKE A SEC AND IT 'S TERRIBLE FUNNY ... $
WELL - AS I SAY - I PHONED HIM ONE MORNING AND I SAID , ' DO
CTOR , COULD YOU COME ROUND AND SEE YOUNG NIGEL ? ' $
THAT 'S THE ELDEST - HE 'S TWELVE . $
ANYWAY - HE SAID - THE DOCTOR , THIS IS - HE SAID , ' OH - I
T 'S THIS BUG THAT 'S GOING ABOUT AT THE MOMENT . $
PUT HIM IN BED AND GIVE HIM SOME ASPIRIN . ' $
SO I SAID , ' BUT DOCTOR - HE 'S BROKEN HIS ANKLE ! ' $
YOU SEE - THAT 'S WHAT HE 'D DONE . $
THAT 'S WHY I WAS PHONING . $
BUT HE DIDN'T GIVE ME A CHANCE ... $
03 I 'VE GOT NO PATIENCE WITH 'EM , THESE DOCTORS ... $
02 WELL , I DON'T SUPPOSE YOU HAVE TO BOTHER TOO MUCH - NOT
SITTING AROUND IN WAITING ROOMS AND ALL THAT - JUST POP ROUN
D TO HARLEY STREET IN THE ROLLS ... $
01 AREN'T WE WANDERING FROM THE POINT , SOMEWHAT ? $
07 INDEED WE ARE . $
MY POINT WAS THAT THERE ARE COUGHS WHICH MIGHT , IF SEEN FRO
M THE REAR AND , INDEED , IN THIS INSTANCE AGAINST THE LIGHT
 , BE MISTAKEN FOR A GIGGLE OR SNIGGER . $
02 SNIGGER . $
WELL , YOU HAVEN'T CONVINCED ME , I MUST SAY . $
THAT 'S ALL I 'VE GOT TO SAY ABOUT IT . $
01 OH , I THOUGHT HE DID IT RATHER WELL . $
02 WHAT ? $
ALL THAT ... ? $
ANYONE CAN DO THAT . $
YOU CAN SEE IT 'S PUT ON . $
07 BUT COULD YOU IF MY BACK WAS TURNED ? $
02 OF COURSE I COULD . $
07 LOOK - LET 'S TRY THIS . $
WE 'LL ALL STAND IN THE WINDOW AGAIN , AS IF WE 'RE LOOKING
OUT - BACKS TO YOU - THEN WE 'LL ALL EITHER COUGH OR SNIGGER
 . $
SOME OF US DO ONE THING , SOME OF US THE OTHER . $
YOU SEE IF YOU CAN TELL WHICH IS WHICH . $
ALL RIGHT ? $
02 THAT 'S NO GOOD . $
I 'LL GUESS RIGHT AND THEN YOU 'LL SAY I WAS WRONG AND YOU W
ERE DOING THE OTHER . $
07 ALL RIGHT . $
ALL RIGHT . $
I 'VE GOT IT . $
I 'LL WRITE DOWN ON FOUR SLIPS OF PAPER WHAT EACH OF US HAS
GOT TO DO , SO THERE 'LL BE NO CHANGING AFTERWARDS . $
ALL RIGHT ? $
02 ALL RIGHT . $
06 MINE SAYS COUGH . $
01 NO , MRS SWINK - YOU 'RE NOT MEANT TO SAY , MRS SWINK . $
07 GIVE THEM BACK TO ME - I 'LL SHUFFLE THEM UP AND DEAL THE
M OUT AGAIN . $
06 GOD , I AM SORRY . $
I 'M JUST NO GOOD AT GAMES LIKE THIS . $
07 THAT 'S YOURS ... $
AND ONE FOR YOU ... $
THERE ... $
AND THAT 'S MINE ... $
NOW DON'T READ THIM OUT LOUD THIS TIME . $
ALL RIGHT ? $
06 WHAT DO WE DO NOW ? $
07 WELL , WE ALL STAND IN A ROW , LOOKING OUT OF THE WINDOW
. $
ALL RIGHT ? $
THAT 'S IT . $
NEVER MIND ABOUT YOUR SHOES . $
06 OH , I 'VE FORGOTTEN THE PAPER . $
07 ALL SET , MR BENTWOOD ? $
02 READY WHEN YOU ARE . $
07 ALL READY , EVERYBODY . $
09 READY ... $
RIGHT ... $
I 'M READY ... $
07 GO ! $
02 ALL RIGHT . $
YOU CAN STOP NOW . $
07 WELL ? $
02 SNIGGER , SNIGGER , COUGH , SNIGGER . $
09 WRONG ! $
02 WHAT DO YOU MEAN , WRONG ? $
07 YOU WERE WRONG . $
YOU GOT IT WRONG . $
IT WAS COUGH , SNIGGER , COUGH , SNIGGER . $
06 NO - I WAS COUGHING - LOOK . $
07 OH , YES - SORRY . $
IT WAS COUGH , SNIGGER , COUGH , COUGH . $
02 THAT 'S WHAT I SAID ! $
03 IT MOST CERTAINLY IS NOT ! $
YOU SAID SNIGGER , SNIGGER , COUGH , SNIGGER . $
02 WAIT A MINUTE , WAIT A MINUTE - I 'VE GOT IT DOWN HERE ..
. $
SNIGGER , SNIGGER , COUGH , SNIGGER . $
03 THAT 'S WHAT I SAID ! $
08 I 'M GOING NOW . $
02 YOU 'VE GOT ME ALL CONFUSED . $
WAIT A MINUTE ... $
08 WHY DON'T YOU GO HOME AND GET A GOOD NIGHT'S SLEEP . $
03 LOOK - FOR GOD'S SAKE ! $ - THE POINT IS - YOU WERE WRONG
 ! $
THE POINT IS , THAT WHEN IT CAME TO THE TEST YOU COULDN'T TE
LL A COUGH FROM A SNIGGER ... $
02 WELL - NOT LIKE THAT , MAYBE ... BUT YOU WEREN'T DOING RE
AL COUGHS AND REAL SNIGGERS , WERE YOU ? $
03 BUT WE WERE ! $
02 NO , YOU WEREN'T . $
I COULD SEE YOU WEREN'T . $
06 WHY DID THE SECRETARY GO LIKE THAT ? $
07 GO ? $
06 SHE JUST WENT . $
01 I DIDN'T SEE HER GO . $
03 JUST LIKE THAT ? $
06 SHE SAID SHE WAS GOING AND WENT . $
03 THERE ? $
YOU SEE ? $
ISN'T THAT TYPICAL OF THE YOUNGER PEOPLE YOU GET NOWADAYS ?
$
NO SENSE OF RESPONSIBILITY . $
NO SENSE OF DUTY . $
JUST PACK UP AND WALK OUT WITHOUT SO MUCH AS A BY YOUR LEAVE
 . $
06 I MUST SAY THEY 'RE OFTEN DISAPPOINTING . $
I MEAN - I LIKE THEM , BUT I MUST SAY ONE IS OFTEN DISAPPOIN
TED IN THEM . $
03 THEY 'VE HAD IT TOO EASY , THAT 'S THE TROUBLE . $
YOU DON'T GET A SENSE OF LOYALTY IF EVERYTHING 'S JUST HANDE
D TO YOU ON A PLATE , DO YOU ? $
I BLAME THE PARENTS TO A LARGE EXTENT . $
06 THEY SEEM TO GET BORED , YOU SEE ? $
ANYTHING THAT TAKES THE TINIEST BIT OF CONCENTRATION .... $
01 OF COURSE , SHE HASN'T HAD A GREAT DEAL TO DO ALL DAY ...
 $
02 WHOSE FAULT 'S THAT ? $
03 YOURS ! $
02 I WASN'T THE ONE WHO WAS SNIGGERING ! $
03 IT 'S PARANOIA - THAT 'S WHAT IT IS ! $
PERSECUTION MANIA . $
WHY SHOULD I SNIGGER ? $
THERE WE ALL WERE LOOKING OUT OF THE WINDOW . $
SO 'S NOT TO WOUND HIS DELICATE FEELINGS WHILE HE BOUNCES UP
 AND DOWN LIKE A YO-YO ... $
#44
02 THERE ! $
YOU SEE ? $
HE THINKS IT 'S FUNNY ! $
03 ... HE GETS TO ABOUT NINE OR TEN , THEN STOPS . $
07 TEN . $
02 BECAUSE YOU WERE BLOODY SNIGGERING ! $
03 I WAS COUGHING ! $
WHY SHOULD I SNIGGER ? $
I COULDN'T SEE YOU , ANYWAY . $
02 OF COURSE YOU COULD SEE ME ! $
YOU COULD SEE ME REFLECTED IN THE WINDOW , COULDN'T YOU ? $
03 CERTAINLY NOT . $
06 WE SHOULD HAVE LEFT THE ROOM . $
02 YOU MUST HAVE PEEPED ROUND , THEN . $
OTHERWISE WHY WERE YOU SNIGGERING ? $
03 I WAS NOT ... $
07 NO , NO , MR BENTWOOD - I WAS WATCHING MOST CAREFULLY . $
MASTER HENRY DID NOT TURN ROUND . $
AND AS IT WAS THEN BROAD DAYLIGHT OUTSIDE HE COULDN'T POSSIB
LY HAVE SEEN A REFLECTION ... $
03 WAIT A MINUTE , WAIT A MINUTE , MR CHAIRMAN . $
THIS RAISES A MOST SERIOUS QUESTION . $
IF YOU WERE WATCHING ME SO CAREFULLY , HOW COULD YOU SEE BEN
TWOOD ? $
TO COUNT , I MEAN ? $
HOW DO YOU KNOW HE WAS RISING ? $
07 I COULD SEE YOU BOTH HOST CLEARLY , I ASSURE YOU . $
03 WHAT , WITH ME HERE AND HIM OVER THERE ? $
07 ABSOLUTELY . $
BY LOOKING STRAIGHT AHEAD I CAN SEE YOU BOTH PERFECTLY . $
01 PERIPHERALLY . $
07 PERIPHERALLY . $
03 WHAT AM I DOING NOW , THEN ? $
07 YOU 'RE MOVING YOUR HAND UP AND DOWN BY YOUR SIDE . $
03 AH - BUT YOU 'RE LOOKING STRAIGHT AT ME , YOU DAMN FOOL .
 $
02 WITHDRAW ! $
03 IF HE WAS DOING SOMETHING OVER THERE AT THE SAME TIME YOU
 COULDN'T SEE US BOTH . $
07 OF COURSE I WOULD ! $
03 TRY IT , THEN . $
ARTHUR - YOU DO YOUR RISINGS AND I 'LL DO SOMETHING OVER HER
E AND SEE IF HE CAN SEE US BOTH AT ONCE . $
02 ALL RIGHT . $
03 ALL RIGHT , MR CHAIRMAN ? $
07 VERY WELL . $
03 1-2-3- . $
GO . $
ARE YOU READY ? $
WHAT AM I DOING NOW ? $
07 ONE . $
YOU 'RE RUBBING YOUR FINGER UP YOUR NOSE . $
TWO . $
THREE . $
YOU 'RE COCKING YOUR LEG . $
FOUR . $
02 VERY CHILDISH ! $
07 FIVE . $
01 HE 'S DONE IT . $
07 SSSH . $
06 WHAT ? $
01 QUITTANCED HIS DESPISAL . $
HE DID TEN BEFORE , HE 'S DONE FIVE NOW , THAT 'S FIFTEEN .
$
06 YOU 'VE QUITTANCED YOU 'RE DESPISAL . $
01 HE 'S DONE IT ! $
03 HE 'S DONE IT ! $
HE 'S DONE IT ! $
02 WHAT ? $
WHAT ? $
01 YOU 'VE QUITTANCED YOUR DESPISAL ] $
02 NO I HAVEN'T ! $
THAT WAS A TRICK ! $
THAT WAS A TRICK ! $
03 01 07 HE 'S QUITTANCED HIS DESPISAL ! $
02 YOU STOP THAT ! $
STOP IT ! $
I HAVEN'T ! $
01 MR CHAIRMAN , NOW THAT MR BENTWOOD HAD QUITTANCED HIS DES
PISAL IS SO SPLENDID A MANNER , I MOVE THAT WE SHOULD NOW TA
KE THE OPPORTUNITY OF DISCUSSING THE BILL BEFORE US . $
03 I SECOND THAT . $
07 VERY WELL , THEN . $
THOSE IN FAVOUR ? $
MOTION CARRIED . $
03 HOORAY . $
07 MR HAGGARD , WOULD YOU BE SO KIND AS TO WAKE MR BEAMISH ?
06 I 'LL WAKE MIRANDA . $
03 WELL DONE , ARTHUR . $
02 I SUPPOSE YOU THINK YOU 'RE VERY CLEVER ? $
YOU NEEDN'T THINK YOU 'VE GOT AWAY WITH IT , YOU KNOW ! $
03 OH - COME ON , OUR ARFUR ... ! $
02 DON'T CALL ME THAT ! $
YOU CALL ME BY MY PROPER NAME ! $
03 ALL RIGHT . $
07 I THINK IT BEST , IN THE CIRCUMSTANCES , IF WE OBSERVE EV
ERY POSSIBLE COURTESY . $
WE 'LL GET DONE QUICKER , YOU KNOW ! $
03 WE 'LL NEVER GET DONE TONIGHT , ANYWAY . $
07 WE HAVE TO GET DONE , MASTER HENRY . $
THERE ISN'T ANY CHOICE . $
03 IT ISN'T A QUESTION OF CHOICE , FOR GOD'S SAKE ! $
IF THERE ISN'T TIME , THERE ISN'T TIME AND THAT 'S THAT ! $
IT 'S PAST MIDNIGHT ALREADY AND WE HAVEN'T STARTED , YET . $
WE 'VE WASTED FIFTEEN HOURS ALREADY . $
DON'T BE MORE STUPID THAN GOD INTENDED ! $
07 SIXTEEN HOURS . $
MASTER HENRY - I MUST ASK YOU ... $
YES ? $
YES ... $
ALL RIGHT . $
IT 'S THE PM . $
AH - GOOD-EVENING , PRIME MINISTER ... $
AH , YES ... $
GOOD-MORNING , RATHER ... $
YES ... $
OH - SPLENDIDLY ... $
YES ... $
NO , NO DIFFICULTIES . $
03 IS HE ... ? $
07 WELL ... $
QUITE ... $
PARAGRAPHS ? ... $
OH ... WELL , IT 'S NOT JUST A NUMBER OF PARAGRAPHS , AS YOU
 YOURSELF WELL KNOW , PM ... $
UP TO ? $
UH ... $
WELL ... LET 'S SEE ... $
AS A MATTER OF FACT WE WERE JUST HAVING A ... $
NO ... WE WERE JUST HAVING A LITTLE BREAK ... $
FROM OUR LABOURS ... $
HOW MANY ? $
... LET 'S SEE ... $
EIGHT ... YES ... EIGHT ... $
NO , QUITE , WE THOUGHT THAT ... $
NOT AT ALL BAD ... $
OH ... $
NO ... $
WELL , I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THAT , PM ... $
THAT 'D BE A BIT EARLY ... $
I MEAN ... $
NO ... I MEAN ... $
WELL , I THINK WE OUGHT TO ALLOW OURSELVES THE FULL ... I ME
AN WE MIGHT HIT SNAGS IN THE LATER ... $
05 MY GOD , IT 'S HOT IN THAT CUBICLE . $
WHAT 'S GOING ON ? $
03 IT 'S LITTLE BILLY . $
05 IS HE ... ? $
07 THAT 'S WHAT I FEEL PM ... $
YES ... $
GOODNIGHT - ... $
GOODNIGHT . $
OH , YES ... $
GOODNIGHT ... $
SURE TO ... $
NO DOUBT AT ALL ... $
GOODNIGHT ... $
GOODNIGHT ... $
NO ... $
NO ... $
YES ... $
GOODNIGHT . $
YES ... YES ... $
GOODNIGHT , PRIME MINISTER ... $
YES ... $
GOODNIGHT ... $
GOOD-MORNING , RATHER ... $
QUITE ... $
GOODNIGHT , PM ... $
GOODNIGHT . $
03 YOU ARE A DAMN FOOL , O'NEILL . $
07 NOW ... $
01 YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN HIM ALL CURLED UP THERE IN THE FOETA
L POSITION . $
IT WAS QUITE TOUCHING . $
05 PLEASE - I 'M IN NO FIT STATE FOR JOLLY BADINAGE . $
07 WE 'RE ABOUT TO DISCUSS THE BILL . $
05 OH - WHOOPEE . $
03 LITTLE BILLY 'S JUST BEEN ON THE BLOWER . $
04 OH , HONESTLY ! $
- I 'D JUST DROPPED OFF . $
05 IS IT HOT IN YOUR CUBICLE ? $
IT 'S LIKE AN OVEN IN OURS . $
04 YOU SHOULD OPEN THE WINDOW . $
#45
05 THERE ISN'T ONE . $
04 OH , CHARMING ! $
06 I DO THINK THE FACILITIES FOR ALL-NIGHT COUNCILS ARE CRUD
E BEYOND BELIEF . $
04 THAT IRON BED AND THOSE DREADFUL IRON BLANKETS . $
IS IT THE GALLEY COMMITTEE AGAIN , HENRY ? $
07 LADIES AND GENTLEMEN . $
THE PRIME MINISTER HAS BEEN ON THE TELEPHONE TO ME ... $
03 HE TOLD LITTLE BILLY WE 'D DONE EIGHT PARAGRAPHS . $
04 HE DIDN'T ! $
05 YOU ARE A DAMN FOOL , GEORGE . $
07 I DIDN'T DO ANY SUCH THING ! $
03 YOU DID - I HEARD YOU . $
' IT 'S NOT JUST THE NUMBER OF PARAGRAPHS , PRIME MINISTER .
.. ' $
07 LOOK ! $
NEVER MIND WHAT I SAID OR WHAT I DIDN'T SAY . $
LET 'S JUST GET ON WITH THE BILL , SHALL WE ? $
I SUGGEST THAT WE TAKE THE FIRST PARAGRAPH OF THE BILL SENTE
NCE BY SENTENCE . $
01 WHAT ON EARTH DO YOU MEAN ? $
07 MEAN ? $
01 THERE IS ONLY ONE SENTENCE IN THE FIRST PARAGRAPH . $
07 REALLY ? $
YOU 'RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT . $
VERY WELL . $
THANK YOU , MR HAGGARD . $
I SUGGEST THAT WE ... TAKE THE FIRST PARAGRAPH . $
03 I MOVE AN AMENDMENT , MR CHAIRMAN . $
07 I HAVEN'T READ THE PARAGRAPH , YET . $
03 YOU READ IT THIS MORNING . $
WE ALL KNOW WHAT IT IS , FOR GOD'S SAKE - WE 'VE GOT IT HERE
 IN FRONT OF US . $
07 AND THIS IS THE SAME AMENDMENT YOU WANTED TO MOVE THIS MO
RNING ? $
03 YES . $
07 AND YOU STILL WANT TO MOVE IT ? $
03 CERTAINLY . $
07 WELL , I SUPPOSE IT WILL EXPEDIATE MATTERS IF I DON'T REA
D THE PARAGRAPH AGAIN ... $
03 GOOD . $
WELL DONE . $
I MOVE THAT ... $
07 YES . $
03 HANG ON A MINUTE . $
HANG ON A MINUTE . $
02 HE 'S BLOODY FORGOTTEN IT ! $
07 MASTER HENRY - I DON'T KNOW THAT WE CAN WASTE THE COUNCIL
'S TIME ... $
03 HOLD HARD . $
HOLD HARD . $
IF THAT DAMN SECRETARY HADN'T ... $
05 MR CHAIRMAN - DO WE HAVE TO SIT HERE LIKE BOOBIES , WHILE
 ... $
03 IT 'S ALL RIGHT . $
IT 'S ALL RIGHT - I MOVE THAT THE FIRST PARAGRAPH SHALL BE A
MENDED TO INCLUDE , ' UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES SHALL SAID ARME
D FORCES MOVE INTO ANY OTHER SOVEREIGN TERRITORY . ' $
05 06 NO ! $
01 I SECOND THE AMENDMENT . $
03 MY POINT IS THAT WE CANNOT SEND UNITS OF THE ARMED FORCES
 INTO CENTRAL AFRICA WITH A ROVING COMMISSION TO DO AS THEY
PLEASE AND GO WHERE THEY LIKE . $
04 HEAR ! $
HEAR ! $
03 YES . $
YES . $
NOW IF THEY ... $
07 MASTER HENRY - WE WILL , OF COURSE , HANDLE THE DISCUSSIO
N IN THIS WAY IF THE COUNCIL INSISTS . $
BUT MIGHT I SUGGEST THAT IN ORDER TO UTILISE THE REMAINING T
IME AS FRUITFULLY AS POSSIBLE WE PROCEED SOMEWHAT MORE INFOR
MALLY . $
03 THAT DEPENDS . $
07 I THINK WE ALL UNDERSTAND YOUR POINT IN THIS MATTER ; AND
 I THINK , IF I MAY SAY SO , THAT I CAN FORESEE THE VARIOUS
OBJECTIONS THAT WILL BE FORTHCOMING FROM MY FRIENDS ON THE R
IGHT HERE . $
05 ON A POINT OF ORDER , MR CHAIRMAN ... $
01 IS IT IN ORDER FOR THE REPRESENTATIVE TO MAKE A POINT OF
ORDER WHILE TROUSERLESS ? $
07 WHAT ? $
OH - I DON'T KNOW , I EXPECT SO ... $
05 NYAA ! $
04 WELL , I THINK IT 'S DISGUSTING . $
06 WHY ? $
04 PURELY AESTHETICALLY , IF NOTHING ELSE . $
06 THERE 'S NOTHING WRONG WITH SOME HUMAN BODY , YOU KNOW .
$
04 THERE 'S NOTHING WRONG WITH SOME HUMAN BODIES . $
01 THERE 'S SOMETHING SERIOUSLY AMISS WITH HIS , BY THE LOOK
 OF IT . $
03 IT 'S THE FLAT FEET THAT DO IT . $
05 I 'VE GOT VERY GOOD LEGS , ANYWAY . $
I PLAYED HAMLET AT SCHOOL . $
03 DID YOU ? $
WHO WON ? $
07 PLEASE ! $
PLEASE ! $
01 IS IT IN ORDER FOR MR BEAMISH TO TAKE PART IN THIS COUNCI
L IN HIS PRESENT STATE OF UNDRESS ? $
07 I 'VE ALREADY RULES ON THAT . $
01 NO , YOU HAVEN'T . $
04 ALL YOU SAID WAS - ' I EXPECT SO ! ' $
03 YOU CALL THAT RULING ? $
REMEMBER OLD WYTHENSHAW ? $
HE COULD RULE ALL RIGHT . $
HE HAD ONE REPLY TO ANYONE MAKING A POINT OF ORDER - ' GET O
UT ! ' $
YOU KNEW WHERE YOU WERE WITH WYTHENSHAW . $
06 HE WAS A HORRIBLE OLD MAN . $
03 HORRIBLE ? $
HORRIBLE ? $
HE MADE THIS COUNTRY WHAT SHE IS TODAY ? $
05 QUITE . $
06 HE WAS A DRUNKEN , LECHEROUS OLD SPONGE . $
04 SPONGE ? $
06 OH - I DON'T KNOW - HE LOOKED LIKE A SPONGE . $
AND HE JUST SOAKED UP EVERYONE'S IDEAS BECAUSE HE HADN'T GOT
 ANY OF HIS OWN . $
01 I THINK IT WOULD BE MORE CHARITABLE TO CALL HIM A CATALYS
T . $
AGREED , HE HAD NO PARTICULAR QUALITIES OF HIS OWN , BUT HE
CAUSED A REACTION . $
06 HE DID THAT ALL RIGHT ! $
07 WE ARE NOW GOING TO VOTE ON MASTER HENRY'S AMENDMENT . $
05 WITHOUT ANY DISCUSSION ? $
07 DO YOU THINK THAT ANY OF YOU WILL HAVE YOUR OPINIONS SWAY
ED BY DISCUSSION ? $
03 THAT 'S NOT THE POINT ... $
07 YOU HAVE DISCUSSED TROUSERS , YOU HAVE DISCUSSED SPONGES
, YOU HAVE DISCUSSED MASTER WYTHENSHAW AND YOU 'VE DISCUSSED
 MR BEAMISH'S LEGS . $
WE WILL NOW VOTE ON MASTER HENRY'S AMENDMENT . $
THOSE IN FAVOUR ? $
THOSE AGAINST ? $
THE CHAIRMAN EXERCISED HIS CASTING VOTE AGAINST THE MOTION .
AMENDMENT NOT TO BE SCRIPTED . $
NOW ... $
01 ON A POINT OF ORDER , MR CHAIRMAN ! $
07 NO ! $
NO MORE POINTS OF ORDER ... $
01 MR CHAIRMAN - I INSIST ! $
07 AND I INSIST , MR HAGGARD ! $
I AM IN CHARGE OF THIS MEETING ! $
01 PERHAPS SO - BUT YOU SEEM INCAPABLE OF COUNTING ! $
07 COUNTING ? $
01 MASTER HENRY'S AMENDMENT WAS NOT DEFEATED . $
03 OUR ARFUR DIDN'T VOTE . $
07 WHAT DO YOU MEAN , DIDN'T VOTE ? $
03 GOD ALMIGHTY ! - HE DIDN'T BLOODY VOTE ! $
07 DIDN'T YOU VOTE , ARTHUR ? $
03 WE 'VE BLOODY TOLD YOU HE DIDN'T ! $
04 I WAS WATCHING HIM . $
HE DIDN'T VOTE . $
07 I 'M ASKING MR BENTWOOD . $
02 NO . $
I DIDN'T VOTE . $
07 BUT YOU 'VE GOT TO VOTE , YOU KNOW . $
03 I DIDN'T FEEL LIKE VOTING . $
SO I DIDN'T VOTE . $
07 WE 'D BETTER TAKE THE VOTE AGAIN . $
03 01 04 NO ! $
WE WON - FIAR 'S FAIR . $
06 WHY DIDN'T YOU VOTE , ARTHUR ? $
YOU 'RE NOT STILL ANNOYED ABOUT QUITTANCING YOUR DISPISAL ?
 $
#46
02 NO - IT 'S NOT THAT . $
03 AH ! $
DIDDUMS ! $
05 WELL , WHAT IS IT THEN ? $
07 YOU 'VE GOT TO VOTE , YOU KNOW . $
PULL YOUR WEIGHT . $
06 WHY , ARTHUR ? $
02 WELL , I WAS THINKING . $
07 YOU MEAN YOU MISSED IT BY MISTAKE ? $
02 NO . $
I MEAN , EARLIER I WAS THINKING . $
IT 'S ALL THIS TALK ABOUT ZINGAWA - AMALOVIA - SMITHTOWN - L
USANA ... I DON'T KNOW ANY OF THESE PLACES . $
I DON'T KNOW THEM . $
I CAN'T ... I MEAN - YOU ASK ME ABOUT PALMER'S GREEN - EDMON
TON - ENFIELD WASH - WELL , ALL RIGHT . $
BUT THESE OTHER PLACES - I MEAN - I DON'T KNOW THE PEOPLE TH
ERE . $
THEY 'RE BLACK - I KNOW THAT . $
AND IT 'S HOT THERE AND THEY HAVE THESE HORRIBLE DISEASES ..
. $
BUT I DON'T KNOW THEM . $
I 'M SURE THEY 'RE VERY NICE IF YOU GOT TO KNOW THEM BUT ...
 $
I MEAN - ASK ME ABOUT THE PEOPLE IN HACKNEY WICK AND I 'LL T
ELL YOU - ANYTHING YOU WANT TO KNOW , I 'LL TELL YOU . $
HOW MUCH RENT THEY PAY , WHAT THEY DO IN THE EVENINGS , WHER
E THEY GET THEIR FISH AND CHIPS . $
I KNOW ALL THE SCHOOLS THERE - ALL THE PUBS . $
I KNOW WHAT IT SMELLS LIKE ON A RAINY AFTERNOON . $
I CAN DO SOMETHING FOR THEM BECAUSE I KNOW THEM . $
I CAN'T DO ANYTHING FOR THESE BLACKIES IN THESE PLACES . $
NOT ANYTHING I KNOW THEY 'D WANT OR THAT 'D BE GOOD FOR THEM
 , EVEN . $
I 'D HAVE TO LIVE THERE ALL MY LIFE BEFORE I COULD DO ANYTHI
NG FOR THEM . $
YOU PUT ME DOWN IN EDMONTON OR HACKNEY ANY HOUR OF THE DAY O
R NIGHT - I KNOW WHERE TO GO TO GET A CUP OF TEA OR A MEAL .
 $
PUT ME DOWN IN THESE OTHER PLACES - I WOULDN'T KNOW IF THEY
DRINK TEA , EVEN . $
OR IF THEY HAVE CAFES , OR WHERE YOU GET YOUR WASHING DONE O
R BUY YOUR MILK . $
I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THEM . $
HOW CAN I GO MAKING DECISIONS FOR THEM ? $
03 YOU MIGHT AS WELL SAY WE CAN'T MAKE DECISIONS FOR SOMEONE
 WHO LIVES IN GLASGOW OR LIVERPOOL OR SHEPTON MALLET - SIMPL
Y BECAUSE WE DON'T LIVE THERE ! $
02 WELL , I DON'T KNOW - PERHAPS WE SHOULDN'T . $
04 BUT THAT 'S OUR JOB , FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE ! $
02 IT 'S NOT MY JOB . $
MY JOB 'S TO REPRESENT THE PEOPLE OF ENFIELD WASH - $
05 YES - EXACTLY ! $
AND TO DEAL WITH THIS AMALOVIAN SITUATION AS THEY WOULD LIKE
 ! $
02 AS THEY WOULD LIKE ? $
THEY 'VE NEVER HEARD OF IT , MOST OF THEM . $
HALF OF THEM DON'T EVEN KNOW WHERE AFRICA IS , EVEN . $
05 ISN'T THAT RATHER AN ARROGANT VIEW TO TAKE OF THE ELECTOR
ATE ? $
02 I DON'T KNOW ABOUT ARROGANT - IT 'S THE BLOODY TRUTH , AN
D YOU KNOW IT ! $
01 THIS ISN'T THE POINT , SURELY ? $
WE 'RE NOT SENT HERE TO REPRESENT THE VIEWS OF THOSE WHO ELE
CT US . $
DEMOCRACY HAS AN EDUCATIVE FUNCTION TOO , YOU KNOW . $
02 DO THEY KNOW THAT ? $
WHEN YOU GO ALONG THERE AT ELECTIONS YOU SAY TO THEM , ' WE
'RE GOING TO DO ALL SORTS OF THINGS YOU WON'T LIKE , BUT THE
Y 'LL BE GOOD FOR YOU - EDUCATE YOU . ' $
IS THAT WHAT YOU SAY ? $
01 IT 'S IMPLICIT . $
02 THEY DON'T KNOW IT 'S IMPLICIT . $
03 OH , THIS IS ALL ROT . $
OF COURSE WE HAVE TO ACT . $
WE HAVE TO LEAD . $
A LOT OF THE THINGS WE DO WILL BE UNPOPULAR . $
A LOT OF THE THINGS WE DO WILL BE DISASTROUS FOR A LOT OF PE
OPLE . $
05 SPEAK FOR YOURSELF . $
01 BUT WE JUST HAVE TO KEEP ON TRYING AND HOPING THAT IT 'S
ONLY A MINORITY THAT THEY 'RE DISASTROUS FOR . $
02 AND THAT 'S THE BEST WE CAN DO ? $
IN THAT CASE I 'M RIGHT - WE OUGHT TO GIVE UP TRYING TO DECI
DE THINGS FOR OTHER PEOPLE . $
06 WE CAN'T JUST DO THAT , ARTHUR . $
IT 'S ALL TOO BIG AND IMPORTANT NOW . $
WE CAN'T JUST STEP OFF - THAT WOULD BE DISASTER FOR EVERYONE
 . $
02 I THINK YOU 'RE KIDDING YOURSELVES . $
I DON'T THINK ANYONE WOULD NOTICE - EXCEPT FOR THE BETTER .
$
01 NO - MRS SWINK IS RIGHT . $
IN A WAY YOU 'RE BOTH RIGHT . $
THE JUGGERNAUT IS IN MOTION . $
WE CAN ONLY CLING ON , TRY TO STEER IT AND HOPE TO AVOID CRU
SHING TOO MANY OF THE PEASANTS . $
02 OH - PEASANTS NOW , IS IT ? $
03 LOOK - PLEASE . $
LET 'S BE PRACTICAL FOR A MOMENT . $
WE 'RE MEANT TO BE TALKING ABOUT ZINGAWA . $
ARTHUR WANTS TO KNOW WHAT WE KNOW ABOUT ZINGAWA THAT GIVES U
S THE RIGHT TO TAKE DECISIONS THAT WILL AFFECT THEIR WHOLE L
IFE . $
ALL RIGHT . $
FAIR ENOUGH . $
I 'LL TELL HIM . $
YOUR AVERAGE ZINGAWAN IS AN IDLE , IGNORANT , BLOOD-THIRSTY
SAVAGE ... $
06 I PROTEST ! $
03 ... ONLY JUST DOWN FROM THE TREES FOR THE MOST PART ... $
05 MR CHAIRMAN ! $
03 HE WANTS TO KNOW . $
I 'M TELLING HIM . $
LET 'S BE HONEST FOR GOD'S SAKE ! $
06 YOU CALL THAT HONESTY ? $
03 YES I DO ! $
THE ZINGAWANS HAVE GOT A JUMPED-UP , QUARTER-EDUCATED BLACK
COWBOY FOR A PRIME MINISTER AND A CONSTITUTION WITH SO MANY
HOLES IN IT THEY COULD HAVE HAD IT PRINTED ON LACE ... $
06 SHAME ! $
SHAME ! $
05 WITHDRAW ! $
MR CHAIRMAN ! $
I OBJECT ! $
04 HE 'S ABSOLUTELY RIGHT - WHY DO YOU REFUSE TO FACE FACTS
? $
07 MASTER HENRY ! $
MASTER HENRY - I MUST ASK YOU TO CONFINE YOUR REMARKS TO THE
 MATTER IN HAND . $
03 JUST WHAT I 'M DOING . $
I 'M ... $
07 MASTER HENRY ! $
WE ARE GOING TO DISCUSS THIS BILL . $
WE ARE GOING TO GET THIS BILL THROUGH . $
YOU WILL BE RULED BY ME AS TO WHAT IS AND WHAT IS NOT RELEVA
NT . $
I HAVE LISTENED TO YOU ALL DRIVELLING AND BICKERING AND PROC
RASTINATING FOR LONG ENOUGH . $
YOU WILL BE RULED BY ME ! $
04 THAT 'S WHAT I 'VE BEEN SAYING ALL LONG . $
07 BE QUITE , MRS MUIR . $
I HAVE BEEN TOO EASY WITH YOU - BUT OBVIOUSLY YOU DON'T APPR
ECIATE THAT . $
01 ON A POINT OF ORDER , MR CHAIRMAN ... $
07 NO ! $
01 I BEG YOUR PARDON ? $
07 WE ARE GOING TO DISCUSS THE BILL . $
WE ARE GOING TO DISCUSS NOTHING BUT THE BILL . $
THE PARAGRAPH BEFORE US IS THIS . $
' FIRSTLY THAT HER MAJESTY'S GOVERNMENT ... ' $
01 ON A POINT OF ORDER , MR CHAIRMAN ... $
07 MR HAGGARD , IF I HAVE ANY FURTHER INTERRUPTIONS FROM YOU
 , YOU WILL BE SUSPENDED FROM THE DELIBERATION OF THIS COUNC
IL . $
01 NONSENSE . $
07 SUSPENDED . $
' FIRSTLY THAT HER MAJESTY'S GOVERNMENT ... ' $
01 I SHALL CONTINUE TO VOTE ON THIS COUNCIL AS I SEE FIT . $
07 ' ... ALWAYS SUBJECT TO THE AGREEMENT AND APPROVAL OF ...
 ' $
YOUR VOTE WILL NOT BE COUNTED . $
IT WILL BE IGNORED . $
05 MR CHAIRMAN , I MUST PROTEST ON BEHALF OF MY ... $
07 SUSPENDED ! $
01 OH - THIS IS MONSTROUS ... ! $
04 HE 'LL HAVE EVERYONE SUSPENDED IN A MINUTE . $
01 HE CAN'T . $
HE WON'T HAVE A QUORUM . $
07 ' ... AGREEMENT AND APPROVAL OF THE FREELY-ELECTED GOVERN
MENT OF ZINGAWA ... ' $
IT MAY INTEREST CERTAIN PERSONS TO KNOW THAT EVENTUALITIES O
F THIS KIND ARE COVERED BY THE ' RULES FOR THE CONDUCT OF CO
UNCIL ' . $
' LACK OF QUORUM DUE TO SUSPENSION MAY BE DISREGARDED FOR TH
E PURPOSES OF EXPEDITION . ' $
NOW THEN . $
05 RUBBISH ! $
THAT WOULD MEAN YOU COULD JUST SUSPEND EVERYBODY AND BE A DI
CTATOR . $
07 ' IN MATTERS OF EXTREME URGENCY A SUB-QUORUM IS THEN SUFF
ICIENT , THAT IS TO SAY , A CHAIRMAN AND TWO OR MORE REPRESE
NTATIVES . ' $
NOW . $
' FIRSTLY THAT HER MAJESTY'S GOVERNMENT ALWAYS SUBJECT TO TH
E AGREEMENT AND APPROVAL OF THE FREELY-ELECTED GOVERNMENT OF
 ZINGAWA ... ' $
05 WELL , IN THAT CASE I 'M GOING TO GET SOME SLEEP . $
01 NOT ON THERE YOU DON'T . $
I BAGGED THAT . $
05 WHAT DO YOU MEAN , BAGGED IT ? $
#47
01 THAT 'S MY RUG ON THERE . $
I PUT IT ON THERE WHEN I ARRIVED . $
05 WELL , THAT 'S TOUGH LUCK . $
01 YOU CAN GO BACK IN THE CUBICLE . $
05 THE BLACK HOLE OF CALCUTTA ? $
YOU GO IN THE CUBICLE . $
01 CERTAINLY NOT . $
I BAGGED THE SOFA . $
05 WELL , I 'VE DEBAGGED IT . $
01 OH , COME ON , MICHAEL . $
05 SSHHH . $
07 FOURTEENTHLY . $
05 WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU 'RE DOING ? $
01 I 'M GOING TO SLEEP . $
05 NOT ON HERE YOU 'RE NOT . $
I 'VE HEARD ABOUT ETONIANS . $
01 THERE 'S PLENTY OF ROOM FOR TWO . $
MOVE OVER . $
05 OH , THOSE FEET ! $
01 THERE 'S PLENTY OF ROOM IF YOU 'D MOVE YOU 'RE GREAT BOTT
OM OVER . $
05 YOU LEAVE MY BOTTOM OUT OF THIS . $
01 IF YOU INSIST . $
02 HE 'S A LAD . $
07 ' ... AND ALL SUCH MOVEMENT OF SAID OR OTHER UNITS SHALL
DEPEND AND RELY ON FURTHER ACTS OF THIS HOUSE ... $
OF THIS HOUSE ... ' $
THERE . $
THAT 'S THE ACT IN TOTO . $
WE CAN NOW HAVE THREE MINUTES' DISCUSSION OF THE FIRST PARAG
RAPH BEFORE VOTING , THEN THREE MINUTES' DISCUSSION OF THE S
ECOND PARAGRAPH AND SO ON . $
03 THREE MINUTES ? $
07 THREE MINUTES . $
FROM ... NOW . $
03 I REALLY MUST PROTEST ... $
07 YOU 'RE WASTING TIME , MASTER HENRY . $
06 YES - COME ON - LET 'S GET DOWN TO IT . $
02 WELL , I 'M NOT VOTING - THREE MINUTES OR NO . $
YOU CAN ALL DO WHAT YOU LIKE . $
IT 'S ALL A LOT OF COBBLERS . $
07 BE VERY CAREFUL , MR BENTWOOD . $
04 I SHOULD HAVE THOUGHT THE FIRST THING TO DISCUSS WOULD BE
 WHETHER WE 'VE GOT THE TROOPS , ANYWAY . $
I MEAN IT 'S ALL VERY FINE AND LARGE TO GO PASSING RESOLUTIO
NS AND GO ROUND SAYING , ' EMPOWERED TO MOVE TROOPS HERE AND
 UNITS OF ARMED FORCES THERE ' , BUT WHAT TROOPS ? $
WHAT UNITS ? $
03 OH , WE 'VE GOT THE MEN ALL RIGHT . $
04 WHERE ? $
03 NEVER MIND ABOUT WHERE . $
EVEN WITH THE PRESENT GOVERNMENT'S POLICY OF PULLING OUT OF
EVERYWHERE AND KNUCKLING UNDER TO EVERY TOM , DICK AND HARRY
 - WE 'VE STILL GOT MEN UNDER ARMS ALL OVER THE GLOBE . $
07 THIS IS NOT WITHIN OUR PROVINCE ... $
04 IT 'S WITHIN OUR PROVINCE TO MAKE SURE WE DON'T MAKE COMP
LETE IDIOTS OF OURSELVES - COMMITTING THE COUNTRY TO SOMETHI
NG IT CAN'T POSSIBLY CARRY OUT . $
03 OH , WE CAN CARRY IT OUT , ALL RIGHT . $
06 WELL , WHAT TROOPS , THEN ? $
03 IT MAY ASTONISH MRS SWINK TO LEARN THAT THE ALIMASA BASE
IS NOT A MILLION MILES FROM ZINGAWA . $
06 IT DOESN'T ASTONISH ME AT ALL . $
IT WOULD ASTONISH ME - AND THEM , TOO , I IMAGINE - IF WE OR
DERED THEM TO DEFEND ZINGAWA , SINCE THE TOTAL MANPOWER AT A
LIMASA NOW CONSISTS OF THE SEARCHLIGHT PLATOON . $
03 WITHDRAW ! $
WITHDRAW ! $
02 IT 'S ALL BLOODY NONSENSE . $
06 IT 'S ALL VERY WELL TO SCREECH WITHDRAW ... $
03 ARE WE TO SIT HERE , MR CHAIRMAN , AND HEAR OUR FIGHTING
MEN PILLORIED IN THIS FASHION ... ? $
06 NOBODY 'S BEING PILLORIED . $
ALL I 'M SAYING IS ... $
07 WE KNOW QUITE WELL WHAT YOU ARE SAYING ... $
02 IT 'S ALL BLOODY ROT , ANYWAY . $
07 MR BENTWOOD - YOU ARE TRYING MY PATIENCE . $
02 I DON'T GIVE A SOD ABOUT YOUR PATIENCE , COCK . $
07 SUSPENDED . $
05 HURRAY ! $
COME OVER HERE AND JOIN US ARTHUR . $
01 ROOM FOR ONE MORE ON TOP . $
LIKE HELL THERE IS . $
02 I 'M ALL RIGHT HERE , LADS , THANKS . $
04 YOU CAN'T SUSPEND EVERYONE , DUCKY . $
02 AH - LET HIM GET ON WITH IT - LITTLE PIPSQUEAK . $
07 YOU WILL LEAVE THE TABLE , MR BENTWOOD . $
02 LISTEN TO HIM ! $
JUST LISTEN TO HIM ! $
ISN'T IT RICH , EH ? $
YOU MAKE ME LEAVE . $
07 MR BENTWOOD - HAVING REGARD FOR THE AUTHORITY VESTED IN M
E ... $
02 WHO HAS ? $
07 HAVING REGARD FOR THE AUTHORITY ... $
02 DON'T HE GO ON . $
07 HAVING REGARD FOR THE AUTHORITY VESTED IN ME BY ONE FROM
WHOM ALL OUR POWER EXUDES ... $
02 OH , BELT UP . $
07 MR BENTWOOD , FOR THE LAST TIME ... $
FOR THE LAST TIME ... $
I AM GOING TO GIVE YOU A CHANCE ... $
STOP IT ! $
SHUT UP ! $
STOP IT ! $
STOP IT ! $
06 OH , FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE ... $
02 STOP IT ! $
STOP IT ! $
07 YOU JUST STOP IT ! $
02 GIVE US A KISS . $
07 YOU CAN'T REASON WITH AN ANIMAL . $
02 GO ON , THEN ! $
GO ON ! $
I 'LL KNOCK YOU INTO THE MIDDLE OF NEXT WEEK . $
07 YOU JUST LEAVE THE TABLE ! $
02 SHAN'T ! $
03 NOW THEN . $
NOW THEN . $
07 YOU DO WHAT I TELL YOU ! $
YOU DO WHAT I TELL YOU ! $
02 GET HIM OFF ME ! $
BLOODY LUNATIC ! $
07 NOW THEN . $
NOW THEN . $
NOW YOU 'LL DO WHAT I SAY WHEN I TELL YOU . $
02 GET HIM OFF ME . $
06 I 'VE NEVER SEEN SUCH A DISGRACEFUL EXHIBITION ! $
07 YOU 'RE SUSPENDED ! $
04 OH , DON'T BE SO STUPID . $
07 I 'M NOT HAVING MY AUTHORITY FLOUTED ! $
04 YOU HAVEN'T GOT ANY AUTHORITY ! $
07 ALL RIGHT - YOU 'RE SUSPENDED , TOO ! $
04 OH , WHAT ROT ! $
02 JUST GET HIM OFF ME , WILL YOU ? $
05 COME ON , O'NEILL - GET OFF NOW . $
#48 $
07 YOU STAY OUT OF THIS ! $
ARE YOU GOING TO DO WHAT I TELL YOU ? $
02 LIKE FUCK I AM ! $
02 HERE ! $
07 PAX ? $
02 GET OFF ! $
HERE ! $
MY TICKER WON'T STAND THIS ! $
07 WELL , PAX THEN ! $
PAX ? $
LET GO OF ME ! $
LET GO OF ME ! $
03 COME ON , OLD CHAP ... $
05 UPS-A-DAISY . $
02 HE 'S BUST A RIB , I RECKON . $
07 LET GO OF ME ! $
THIS IS TREASON , YOU KNOW ! $
THIS IS RANK TREASON ! $
05 NOW CAN WE GET ON WITH IT ? $
NO MORE OF THIS BLOODY SUSPENSION NONSENSE ? $
07 GET YOUR TRAITOROUS HANDS OFF ME ! $
03 ARE YOU GOING TO BEHAVE ? $
07 ALL RIGHT . $
ALL RIGHT . $
PAX . $
HE 'S AN ANIMAL ! $
HE 'S A BLOODY SLOBBERING ANIMAL ! $
I 'M GOING TO KILL HIM TO A PULP ! $
01 GET HIM TO THE LAVVY ! $
WE CAN LOCK HIM IN ! $
07 I 'M GOING TO KICK HIS FACE IN ! $
ALL OF YOU ! $
I 'M GOING TO HAVE ORDER ! $
05 IS THERE A KEY ? $
05 YES . $
GET HIM IN THERE ! $
07 YOU 'RE ALL BLOODY BASTARDS ! $
YOU 'RE ALL BLOODY ANIMAL BASTARDS ! $
04 ISN'T IT EXCITING ? $
06 ARE YOU ALL RIGHT , ARTHUR ? $
02 HE 'S A RAVING BLOODY LUNATIC , THAT ONE . $
06 ARE YOU ALL RIGHT ? $
02 I DON'T KNOW . $
LET ME SIT DOWN FOR A BIT . $
06 HE SHOULDN'T HAVE BEHAVED LIKE THAT . $
02 LOCK HIM IN THE BLOODY LAV - THAT 'S THE TICKET . $
COOL HIM DOWN A BIT . $
LOCK HIM IN THE BLOODY CARSIE . $
BLOODY LUNATIC ! $
HE 'S DONE FOR ONE OF MY RIBS , I KNOW THAT MUCH . $
06 LET ME HAVE A LOOK . $
02 NO - IT 'S ALL RIGHT . $
06 OH , COME ON , ARTHUR - DON'T BE SILLY . $
I 'VE SEEN MEN'S CHESTS BEFORE , YOU KNOW . $
02 NO - IT 'S ALL RIGHT . $
05 THAT 'S DONE FOR HIM . $
LOCKED HIM IN THE BOG . $
THAT 'LL COOL HIS ARDOUR . $
02 THAT 'S JUST WHAT I SAID . $
COOL HIM DOWN A BIT . $
HE 'D DONE FOR ONE OF MY RIBS , YOU KNOW . $
AT LEAST ONE . $
01 HE KICKED ME RIGHT ON THE SHIN . $
02 HE 'S CRACKED MY RIBS , YOU KNOW . $
05 WE SHOULD HAVE PUT HIS HEAD DOWN AND PULLED THE CHAIN ! $
#49
04 DON'T BE DISGUSTING . $
03 TOOK THE PRECAUTION OF REMOVING THE OLD KEY . $
01 HE COULDN'T HAVE REACHED IT FROM INSIDE , COULD HE ? $
03 CAN'T BE TOO CAREFUL . $
A VERY WILY GENT , OUR BELOVED CHAIRMAN . $
05 I WAS JUST SAYING WE SHOULD HAVE PUT HIS HEAD DOWN THE BO
G AND PULLED THE CHAIN . $
03 I KNEW WE 'D FORGOTTEN SOMETHING . $
02 LITTLE PIPSQUEAK ! $
06 HE 'S REALLY BRUISED ARTHUR'S RIBS , YOU KNOW . $
02 CRACKED 'EM . $
03 JUST WENT TO PIECES . $
I 'VE SEEN IT BEFORE , YOU KNOW . $
DURING THE WAR . $
01 WHAT DO WE DO NOW ? $
05 NOT MUCH WE CAN DO , THANKS TO OUR BELOVED CHAIRMAN . $
06 OH - WE CAN GET THE BILL THROUGH SOMEHOW , CAN'T WE ? $
04 WE 'LL BE STALEMATED EVERY VOTE . $
01 WE HAVE TO HAVE A CHAIRMAN , ANYWAY . $
05 HE 'S REALLY BUGGERED US UP , HASN'T HE ? $
02 HE 'S BUGGERED ME UP - I KNOW THAT . $
CRACKED MY BLOODY RIBS OPEN . $
03 JUST WENT TO PIECES . $
04 THEY CAN'T BLAME US IF WE HAVEN'T GOT THE BILL THROUGH .
$
I MEAN - IF ONE 'S GOING TO BE GIVEN A CHAIRMAN WHO GOES BER
SERK ... $
05 QUITE . $
03 WE HAD A SERGEANT IN ITALY WENT LIKE THAT . $
JUST WENT TO PIECES . $
TOOK ALL HIS CLOTHES OFF AND STARTED WALKING STRAIGHT INTO A
 JERRY MACHINE-GUN POST SHOUTING , ' I LOVE LILLI MARLENE !
' $
06 WHAT HAPPENED ? $
03 WE SHOT THE BUGGER . $
02 NO . $
NO . $
NO . $
HE WAS SHOUTING , ' YOU GOT MY MOTHER , KAISER BILL , BUT YO
U WON'T GET ME ! ' $
03 NO , NO - I WAS THERE . $
02 SO WAS I . $
03 WHERE WERE YOU ? $
02 I SHOT THE BUGGER . $
AH - YOU DIDN'T KNOW THAT , DID YOU ? $
WE WERE IN THE SAME REGIMENT . $
03 THE SOUTH CHESHIRES ? $
YOU AND ME ? $
02 THAT 'S RIGHT . $
ONLY I WAS A CORPORAL . $
IN THE SECOND BATTALION , I WAS . $
03 GOOD HEAVENS ABOVE . $
A CORPORAL IN THE SECOND BATTALION ! $
HERE , HAVE A CIGAR . $
02 OH , THANK YOU , SIR . $
06 OH , YOU OUGHT TO MEET MY HUSBAND - HE WAS IN ITALY IN TH
E WAR - HE 'S ALWAYS TALKING ABOUT IT . $
02 IN THE ARMY ? $
06 SERVICE CORPS . $
09 HURRAH . $
02 EVEN OLD MICHAEL HERE WAS DEFENDING THE WHITE CLIFFS OF D
OVER . $
03 NO - YOU SHOULDN'T MAKE FUN . $
THE OLD HOME GUARD WERE ALL RIGHT . $
GOD KNOWS WE 'D HAVE NEEDED THEM IF JERRY HAD DECIDED TO INV
ADE IN NINETEEN-FORTY . $
02 KEEPING THE HOME FIRES BURNING , EH , MICHAEL ? $
05 AND PUTTING 'EM OUT . $
I WAS IN THE ARP AFTER THE HOME GUARD . $
' PUT THAT LIGHT OUT ! ' $
04 OH , YES - DO YOU REMEMBER THAT ? $
06 DO YOU KNOW THE ONE I ALWAYS REMEMBER - I WAS ONLY A KID
AT THE TIME - IT WAS THE ONE THEY HAD ON THE BUSES - ' BE LI
KE DAD - KEEP MUM ! ' $
09 THAT 'S RIGHT , THAT 'S RIGHT . $
YES ! $
OH , YES - I REMEMBER THAT ! $
06 I COULD NEVER UNDERSTAND WHAT IT MEANT - THAT 'S WHY I RE
MEMBER IT . $
02 WELL , YOU SEE DAD KEPT MUM AND MUM 'S THE WORD . $
01 ' CARELESS TALK COSTS LIVES . ' $
THAT WAS ANOTHER ONE . $
04 ' DIG FOR VICTORY ! ' $
03 ' KEEP CALM AND DIG . ' $
06 IT 'S THE SONGS THAT REALLY BRING IT BACK , THOUGH . $
DO YOU REMEMBER , ' YOURS . ' $
02 ' YOURS ? ' $
#50
06 YES . $
' YOURS TILL THE STARS LOSE THEIR GLORY , YOURS TILL THE BIR
DS FAIL TO SING , YOURS TILL THE END OF LIFE'S STORY , THIS
PLEDGE TO YOU DEAR I BRING ... ' $
THIS PLEDGE TO YOU DEAR I BRING ... ' $
05 WHAT WAS THAT OTHER ONE SHE USED TO SING ? $
UH - ' I HAVEN'T SAID THANKS FOR THAT LOVELY WEEKEND ... ' $
04 ' I HAVEN'T SAID THANKS FOR THIS LOVELY WEEKEND , THOSE F
EW DAYS OF HEAVEN YOU HELPED ME TO SPEND ... $
' OH - I CAN'T REMEMBER IT AFTER THAT . $
06 SOMETHING ABOUT ' BREAKFAST NEXT MORNING JUST WE TWO ALON
E ... ' $
02 RUN RABBIT RUN . $
09 RUN , RABBIT , RUN , RABBIT , RUN , RUN , RUN , HERE COME
S THE FARMER WITH GUN , GUN , GUN . $
HE 'LL GET BY WITHOUT HIS RABBIT PIE . $
SO RUN , RABBIT , RUN , RABBIT , RUN , RUN , RUN . $
07 I WILL HAVE ORDER IN THE COUNCIL . $
FOURTEENTHLY ... $
01 IT 'S GOING TO BE MORNING SOON . $
05 OH - THERE 'S AN HOUR OR TWO YET . $
03 GOOD GOD ABOVE - THEY CAN'T BLAME US FOR THIS MESS , CAN
THEY ? $
05 ABSOLUTELY NOT ! $
06 THERE 'S NO QUESTION OF BLAME . $
YOU CAN'T BLAME O'NEILL EVEN . $
IT 'S NOT HIS FAULT . $
HE 'S OBVIOUSLY A SICK MAN ... $
03 THE ONE I FIND IT HARD TO FORGIVE IS THAT SECRETARY . $
JUST WALKING OUT LIKE THAT ! $
TYPICAL OF YOUNG PEOPLE TODAY . $
JUST PACK UP AND LEAVE . $
06 I MUST SAY THEY 'RE OFTEN DISAPPOINTING . $
I MEAN I LIKE THEM . $
BUT ONE IS OFTEN DISAPPOINTED IN THEM . $
03 THEY 'VE HAD IT TOO EASY , THAT 'S THE TROUBLE . $
02 HERE ! $
WHAT ABOUT - ' WE 'RE GOING TO HANG OUT THE WASHING ... ? '
$
REMEMBER THAT ONE ? $
09 OH , YES ! $
OH , GOD , YES ! $
THAT WAS THIRTY-NINE . $
I REMEMBER THAT . $
02 WE 'RE GOING TO HANG OUT THE WASHING ON THE SIEGFRIED LIN
E ... ' $
09 ' ... HAVE YOU ANY DIRTY WASHING , MOTHER DEAR ? $
WE 'RE GOING TO HANG OUT THE WASHING ON THE SIEGFRIED LINE B
ECAUSE WASHING DAY IS HERE . $
WHETHER THE WEATHER MAY BE WET OR FINE . $
WE 'LL JUST JOG ALONG WITH A CARE . $
WE 'RE GOING TO HANG OUT THE WASHING ON THE SIEGFRIED LINE ,
 IF THE SIEGFRIED LINE 'S STILL THERE ! ' $
06 IT 'S THE PROCTOR ! $
03 WHAT 'S THE POINT OF THAT ? $
02 WHEN THEY KNOCK WE JUST SIT QUIET . $
01 BUT THEY 'LL JUST GO ON KNOCKING . $
02 AND WE 'LL JUST GO ON SITTING . $
10 ATTEND YE ! $
ATTEND YE ! $
ATTEND YE ! $
ATTEND YE ! $
HELLO ? $
MR O'NEILL . $
HELLO ? $
ANYONE IN THERE ? $
GEORGE ? $