<< *154 KEVIN LAFFAN : IT 'S A TWO-FOOT-SIX-INCHES-ABOVE-THE -GROUND WORLD . A COMEDY . LONDON , FABER , 1970 . 82 P. . F IRST PERF. : 210170 . CHAR. : 01 MICK GOONAHAN , 02 ESTHER G OONAHAN HIS WIFE , 03 SEAN GOONAHAN THEIR CHILD , 04 DECLAN GOONAHAN THEIR CHILD , 05 JACQUELINE GOONAHAN MICK'S NIECE , 06 FATHER YEO , 07 BERT BAKER , 08 SVEN , 09 P.C. BEAMISH > > $ #7 $ < THE ACTION OF THE PLAY TAKES PLACE DURING AN EVENING AT TH E GOONAHANS' HOME . $ THE SET . $ THE GOONAHANS LIVE IN AN OLD DETACHED VICTORIAN HOUSE . $ THE LIVING-ROOM OCCUPIES THE MAIN FORWARD AREA OF THE STAGE . $ D.R. IS THE BACK DOOR . $ U.R.C. A DOOR LEADING TO A KITCHEN AND NEXT TO THIS AT RIGHT ANGLES DOWNSTAGE IS ANOTHER DOOR LEADING UP A STEP TO THE H ALL WHICH CAN BE SEEN BEYOND THE LIVING-ROOM AND OCCUPYING T HE U.S.L. PORTION OF THE STAGE . $ IN THE HALL A DOOR , IMMEDIATELY OPPOSITE THE LIVING-ROOM , GIVES ON TO THE FRONT ROOM . $ JUST ABOVE THIS IS THE FRONT DOOR . $ OPPOSITE THE FRONT DOOR THE STAIRCASE RUNS UP THE WALL TO TH E LANDING BEFORE TURNING TO RUN ABOVE THE CEILING OF THE LIV ING-ROOM . $ ABOVE THE LIVING-ROOM PART OF A BEDROOM CAN BE SEEN WITH A D OOR GIVING ON TO AN UNSEEN LANDING . > $ #8 $ #9 $ < ACT ONE > $ < THE CURTAIN RISES ON A DARKENED STAGE . $ ESTHER ENTERS INTO A POOL OF LIGHT . $ SHE IS PUSHING A PRAM AND LOADED WITH SHOPPING . $ SEAN , AGED NINE , IS WITH HER . > $ 02 SPRING . $ TREACHERY . $ BIRDS IN THEIR NESTS . $ SUN . $ ... $ WIND . $ ... $ NEW AIR . $ ... $ REBIRTH . $ NATURE IS UNMERCIFULLY EROTIC . $ < ( PATS SEAN . ) > $ THIS IS THE YOUNG OF ANOTHER SPRING AND THERE 'S ANOTHER BOR N OUT OF LOVE . $ BUT THIS $ < ( ROCKS THE PRAM ) > $ BORN OUT OF RHYTHM . $ OGINO WAS WRONG OR ELSE THE LORD WAS WITH ME . $ TO LOVE IS HUMAN BUT TO PROCREATE IN THE SAFE PERIOD IS SURE LY DIVINE . $ I 'VE BEEN TEN MONTHS A VIRGIN FOR FEAR OF THE LORD'S VISITA TION AND IT 'S A GREAT STRAIN . $ < ( THE LIGHTS FADE AND ESTHER GOES OFF . $ THEY COME UP AGAIN ON THE HOME OF THE GOONAHANS . $ THE HOME OF THE GOONAHANS , SHOWING LIVING-ROOM , HALL AND S TAIRS . $ AN OLDISH HOUSE . $ THERE IS NO SIGN OF LACK OF MONEY , BUT EVEN WHERE MONEY HAS CLEARLY BEEN SPENT , CHILDREN HAVE EQUALLY CLEARLY LEFT THE IR MARK , SO THAT NOTHING IS FRESH OR PRISTINE CLEAN . $ CORNERS HAVE BEEN KNOCKED AND GOUGED OR BRUISED . $ WALLS ARE MARKED BY PENCIL AND CRAYON , TOYS SCATTERED HIGGL EDY-PIGGLEDY . $ ESTHER ENTERS BY THE FRONT DOOR , PARKS PRAM IN THE HALL . $ SHE CROSSES THE HALL TO THE LIVING-ROOM , PUTS DOWN THE SHOP PING , LIGHTS THE GAS STOVE WITH BATTERY LIGHTER AND PUTS ON KETTLE . $ RETURN TO SHOPPING BAG PICKING UP TOY LORRY ON THE WAY . $ CLUCKS WITH ANNOYANCE . $ SEAN COMES IN READING A COMIC . ) > $ TAKE THOSE OFF NOW AND PUT ON YOUR OLD ONES - I DON'T WANT T HOSE KICKED ABOUT . $ 03 I 'M NOT KICKING . $ 02 YOU SOON WILL BE - YOU CAN WEAR THE OLD ONES FOR PLAYING IN . $ #10 $ < ( GOES TO THE DOOR AND CALLS . ) > $ DECLAN ! $ 04 < ( OFF ) > $ WHAT ? $ 02 I WANT YOU . $ COME HERE . $ < ( SHE RETURNS TO THE TABLE . ) > $ SEAN , TAKE YOUR NOSE OUT OF THAT COMIC AND CHANGE THOSE SHO ES . $ 03 BUT I 'VE GOT TO WEAR THE STIFFNESS OFF . $ 02 YOU 'LL GET PLENTY OF ... $ 04 < ( APPEARING AT THE DOOR ) > $ WHAT DO YOU WANT ? $ 02 DECLAN , THAT IS NO WAY TO SPEAK TO ME . $ 04 WHAT 'S WRONG WITH IT ? $ 02 IT 'S UNGRACIOUS , I WANT YOU TO GO ACROSS TO WHITTAKERS AND BUY A LOAF OF BREAD . $ 04 I ONLY ASKED WHAT YOU WANTED - WHAT 'S WRONG WITH THAT ? $ 02 IT 'S THE WAY YOU ASK - AND LEAVE THAT BAG ALONE . $ 04 DID YOU GET ANYTHING INTERESTING ? $ 03 LOOK WHAT I 'VE GOT . $ < ( DISPLAYS SHOES . ) > $ 04 IS THAT THE TV COMIC ? $ < ( HE GRABS THE COMIC . ) > $ 03 < ( PULLING ) > $ I HAVEN'T READ IT YET . $ 02 FOR GOODNESS SAKE LEAVE HIM BE - $ < ( SHE SEPARATES THE BOYS . ) > $ - AND DON'T GRAB ! $ HERE $ < ( SHE GIVES DECLAN A COIN ) > $ AND WATCH HOW YOU CROSS THE ROAD . $ 04 CAN I HAVE A SEAJET ? $ 02 NO . $ 04 BUT YOU BOUGHT SEAN A COMIC . $ 02 YOU CAN READ IT WHEN HE 'S FINISHED . $ 04 IT 'S NOT THE SAME THING . $ I ... $ 02 WILL YOU GET THAT LOAF ! $ TEA 'S LATE ALREADY . $ 04 < ( TO SEAN ) > $ HURRY UP - AND NO READING IT TWICE . $ 02 GO THE BACK WAY . $ 04 BUT IT 'S FARTHER . $ 02 BRENDEN 'S ASLEEP IN THE PRAM , I DON'T WANT HIM WAKENED UP . $ 04 I WON'T WAKEN HIM . $ 02 THE WAY YOU CLOSE A DOOR WOULD WAKE THE DEAD . $ NOW HURRY UP , THERE 'S A GOOD BOY . $ 04 BUT I ... $ 02 < ( EXASPERATED ) > $ WILL YOU GET THAT LOAF OF BREAD . $ < ( DECLAN GOES RELUCTANTLY TO THE DOOR . ) > $ #11 $ QUIETLY ! $ < ( DECLAN SHUTS THE DOOR WITH EXAGGERATED CARE . $ SEAN DRUMS HIS FEET AGAINST THE CHAIR . ) > $ < ( LAYING THE TABLE ) > $ I TOLD YOU TO CHANGE YOUR SHOES . $ 03 I 'M NOT HURTING THEM , JUST READING . $ 02 SEAN , I WILL NOT TELL YOU AGAIN . $ 03 OH ... ALL RIGHT . $ WHERE ARE THEY ? $ 02 WHERE ARE WHAT ? $ 03 MY OLD ONES , OF COURSE . $ I 'VE GOT MY NEW ONES ON , HAVEN'T I ? $ 02 I GAVE THEM TO YOU A MINUTE AGO . $ 03 WELL , I DON'T KNOW WHAT 'S HAPPENED TO THEM . $ 02 PUT DOWN THAT COMIC AND LOOK ... THERE THEY ARE ... LOOK ... THERE ! $ < ( SHE POINTS TO THE SHOES ON THE CHAIR . ) > $ 03 I DIDN'T PUT THEM THERE . $ 02 FOR GOODNESS SAKE ! $ JUST CHANGE THEM . $ < ( DURING THE ABOVE JACKY CROSSES FROM THE STAIRS TO THE LI VING-ROOM . $ SEAN STARTS TO CHANGE SHOES . $ JACKY ENTERS . ) > $ HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN IN ? $ 05 NOT LONG . $ CAN I GIVE YOU A HAND ? $ 02 YOU CAN MAKE THE TEA . $ < ( JACKY GOES TO THE GAS STOVE . ) > $ 03 WHAT HAVE WE GOT ? $ 02 EGGS . $ 05 WHERE 'S THE TEA ? $ 02 ON THE SHELF . $ 03 OH , NOT EGGS AGAIN . $ 02 YES , AGAIN . $ 03 < ( MARTYRED ) > $ I 'LL LOOK LIKE AN EGG SOON . $ 02 YOU 'LL NEED A HAIR CUT FIRST . $ 03 WHAT 'S WRONG WITH MY HAIR ? $ MY HAIR 'S ALL RIGHT . $ 02 YOU 'D BETTER GO TOMORROW AFTER SCHOOL - REMIND ME TO GIV E YOU THE MONEY . $ 05 WHERE DID YOU SAY THE TEA WAS ? $ 02 ON THE SHELF . $ 03 I DON'T WANT TO HAVE MY HAIR CUT ... $ 05 I CAN'T SEE IT . $ 03 ... IT 'S NOT MY TURN TO HAVE IT CUT ... $ #12 $ 02 IT 'S THERE ... LOOK ... $ < ( GETS THE CADDY ) > . $ 03 WHY DO I HAVE TO HAVE MY HAIR CUT ... ? $ 02 BECAUSE IT 'S LONG ... IT NEEDS CUTTING . $ 05 HOW MANY SPOONS ? $ 02 PUT IN FOUR . $ MICK 'LL BE HERE BEFORE WE 'VE FINISHED . $ 05 I THOUGHT IT WAS HIS DAY TO GO TO SOUTHPORT . $ 03 I DON'T LIKE THAT BARBER . $ CAN I GO DOWN TOWN ? $ 02 NO . $ 03 BUT HE NEVER ... $ 02 NO . $ 05 IS THERE A MAT ANYWHERE ? $ < ( SHE HAS THE TEAPOT . ) > $ 02 I PUT ONE THERE ... $ 03 IT 'S NOT FAIR . $ DECLAN GOES TO HIM . $ 02 HERE 'S ONE ... $ < ( TAKES MAT FROM THE DRAWER ) > . $ 03 HE GIVES A SWEET WHEN HE 'S DONE IT . $ 02 < ( TO JACKY ) > $ 04 HE THINKS HIS SPOON'S HE 'S SEEING SOME MAN ABOUT SOMETHING . $ 03 MUM , WHY CAN'T I GO TO HIM ? $ 05 HAVE YOU GOT THE COSY ? $ 02 IT 'S IN THE DRAWER . $ 02 MUM ! $ < ( WHINES . ) > $ WHY CAN'T I GO TO THE OTHER ONE ? $ 02 SEAN , FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE ! $ 03 I DON'T WANT TO GO TO HIM . $ 02 WE 'LL SEE ABOUT IT . $ 05 I CAN'T SEE IT IN HERE . $ 02 IT OUGHT TO BE THERE ... $ < ( GOES OVER TO THE DRAWER . ) > $ 03 DOES THAT MEAN I DON'T HAVE TO GO ? $ 05 IT 'S ALWAYS THE WAY . $ I 'M USELESS AT FINDING THINGS . $ < ( ESTHER FINDS THE COSY . $ JACKY TAKES IT FROM HER . ) > $ 03 I DON'T HAVE TO , DO I ? $ 02 SEAN , WILL YOU SIT DOWN AND ... $ < ( SEES THE SHOES ON THE TABLE . ) > $ DID YOU PUT THOSE THERE ? $ 03 WELL , I HAVE TO PUT THEM SOMEWHERE . $ 02 IN THE CHEST . $ GO ON . $ < ( DOOR SLAMS . $ DECLAN ENTERS . $ ANOTHER SLAM . ) > $ IF YOU 'VE WAKENED BRENDEN ... $ < ( LOOKS OUT OF THE DOOR AND REASSURES HERSELF ) > . $ I TOLD YOU NOT TO USE THAT WAY . $ 04 ONLY GOING ... YOU DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING ABOUT COMING BACK . $ #13 $ 02 FOR GOODNESS SAKE ! $ ALL IT REQUIRES IS A LITTLE SENSE . $ YOU MIGHT HAVE 'WAKENED BRENDEN . $ 03 BUT I DIDN'T . $ 02 THAT 'S NOT YOUR FAULT . $ 03 IT WAS A LOUD BANG ... $ 04 YOU SHUT UP . $ 02 DECLAN ! $ 05 WHERE 'S THE MILK ? $ 02 IN THE FRIDGE . $ 03 MUMMY ... I CAN'T OPEN THE LID . $ 02 OPEN IT FOR HIM , DECLAN . $ < ( ESTHER GETS EGGS FROM THE PAN AND BRINGS THEM TO THE TAB LE . ) > $ 05 I 'LL NEED A JUG . $ 02 ON THE DRAINING-BOARD . $ < ( DECLAN PUSHES SEAN INTO THE SHOES CUPBOARD . $ SHUTS DOOR . $ SEAN SCREAMS . ) > $ LET HIM OUT . $ 04 IT WAS AN ACCIDENT . $ 02 LET HIM OUT . $ < ( DECLAN OPENS THE DOOR SLOWLY . $ SEAN PUSHES . ) > $ 05 IS THIS YELLOW ONE ALL RIGHT ? $ < ( ESTHER CROSSES AND PULLS THE DOOR OPEN . $ SEAN IS YELLING . ) > $ 02 < ( TO DECLAN ) > $ GO AND SIT AT THE TABLE . $ 03 HE PUSHED ME . $ < ( SOBBING . ) > $ 04 I DIDN'T REALLY . $ 02 GO AND SIT AT THE TABLE ! $ 04 COWARDLY CUSTARD . $ 02 DECLAN . $ 04 WELL , HE 'S ALWAYS MOANING . $ 03 < ( SCREAMING ) > $ I 'M NOT . $ 04 YOU ARE . $ 02 DECLAN . $ HE 'S SMALLER THAN YOU ARE ... NOW SIT DOWN QUIETLY FOR HEAV ENS'S SAKE AND GET ON WITH YOUR TEAS . $ < ( THE TWO BOYS GO TO THE TABLE . $ DECLAN SLYLY JABBING SEAN . ) > $ 05 IS THIS YELLOW ONE ALL RIGHT ? $ 02 < ( EXASPERATED ) > $ IT 'S A JUG . $ WHAT DOES THE COLOUR MATTER ? $ #14 $ 05 WELL , I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU USE . $ 03 STOP IT ! $ 02 DECLAN ... $ 04 I WASN'T DOING ANYTHING . $ 03 YES YOU WERE ! $ YOU WERE JABBING ME . $ 02 < ( QUIETLY , DANGEROUSLY ) > $ NOW SIT DOWN AT THE TABLE THE PAIR OF YOU ... $ 04 BUT I ... $ 02 AND DON'T LET ME HEAR ANOTHER SOUND ! $ < ( DECLAN OPENS HIS MOUTH . ) > $ NOT ANOTHER WORD . $ < ( THEY SIT AT THE TABLE . ) > $ 05 SHALL I POUR ? $ 02 PLEASE . $ < ( SHE AND JACKY SIT . $ DECLAN BEGINS TO TAP HIS PLATE WITH HIS KNIFE ) > . $ DO STOP THAT . $ 04 WHY ? $ 02 BECAUSE I DON'T LIKE IT . $ 04 I DO . $ 02 THEN GO AND DO IT SOMEWHERE ON YOUR OWN WHERE I CAN'T HEA R IT . $ 03 I DON'T LIKE IT EITHER . $ 02 YOU 'RE TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE ... GET ON WITH YOUR TEA . $ 05 SHALL I SUGAR IT FOR THEM ? $ 02 YOU 'D BETTER , OR IT 'LL BE ALL OVER THE TABLE . $ 03 I WANT TO SUGAR MY OWN . $ 02 WELL YOU CAN'T - YOU PUT MORE SUGAR ON THE CLOTH THAN EVE R GOES IN YOUR CUP . $ 04 HE THINKS HIS SPOON 'S A SPACE SHIP . $ 05 I EXPECT HE WANTS TO BE A SPACE MAN WHEN HE GROWS UP . $ 04 FATHER PATRICK ASKED ME IF I 'D LIKE TO BE A PRIEST . $ 02 HE WHAT ? $ 03 FATHER PATRICK WANTS HIM TO BE A PRIEST . $ < ( REACHES FOR BREAD . ) > $ 02 DON'T STAND ON YOUR CHAIR . $ 03 BUT I WANT SOME BREAD ... $ 02 THEN ASK FOR IT ... AND DON'T PULL THE CLOTH ! $ OH GOD ! $ < ( IN SITTING SEAN PULLS THE CLOTH AND HIS CUP IS SPILLED . ) > $ #15 $ LOOK AT THAT NOW ! $ 05 THE CLOTH 'S SOAKED . $ 03 IT 'S GONE ON MY TROUSERS . $ 02 YOU 'D BETTER GO AND CHANGE THEM . $ 03 BUT WHICH ONES SHALL I WEAR ? $ 02 IT DOESN'T MATTER ... PUT YOUR BLUE ONES ON . $ 03 BUT I DON'T LIKE THOSE BLUE ONES . $ 04 YOU SHOULD HAVE THOUGHT OF THAT BEFORE YOU SPILLED YOUR T EA . $ 03 YOU SHUT UP . $ 02 THAT 'S ENOUGH . $ < ( TO DECLAN . ) > $ DON'T INTERFERE . $ < ( SHE IS SWABBING WITH A CLOTH . ) > $ GO AND CHANGE YOUR TROUSERS , SEAN . $ 05 HE HAS SOAKED THEM , HASN'T HE ? $ 04 IT LOOKS LIKE HE 'S WET THEM . $ 03 I HAVEN'T WET THEM . $ IT 'S ONLY TEA . $ 02 OF COURSE IT 'S ONLY TEA . $ NOW RUN UP AND CHANGE THEM . $ < ( SHE PICKS HIM UP . $ NOW VERY GENTLE . ) > $ THERE 'S A GOOD BOY . $ 03 I DON'T WET MY TROUSERS NOW , DO I , MUMMY ? $ 02 OF COURSE NOT - YOU 'RE A BIG BOY NOW . $ OFF YOU POP ! $ < ( ESTHER PUTS HIM THROUGH THE DOOR . ) > $ 04 < ( SHOUTING ) > $ AND MIND YOU GET THE WEE-WEE HOLE IN FRONT . $ 02 KEEP QUIET , DECLAN . $ 04 I 'M ONLY TELLING HIM . $ 02 WELL DON'T . $ 05 IF YOU 'RE GOING TO BE A PRIEST YOU 'LL HAVE TO MIND YOUR WAYS . $ 04 I WOULDN'T HAVE TO START BEING REALLY GOOD TILL LATER . $ 02 DID FATHER YEO TELL YOU THAT ? $ 04 IT WAS FATHER PATRICK . $ 02 WHAT DID HE TELL YOU ? $ 04 YOU CAN'T START GETTING READY TO BE A PRIEST TILL YOU 'RE ELEVEN . $ ONLY THINK ABOUT IT . $ 02 AND HE TOLD YOU TO THINK ABOUT IT ? $ 04 HE 'S ALWAYS TELLING ME . $ 05 I EXPECT YOU 'D LIKE HIM TO BE A PRIEST , WOULDN'T YOU , ESTHER ? $ #16 $ 02 I SUPPOSE FATHER PATRICK SAYS IT TO ALL THE BOYS ? $ < ( DECLAN IS BUSY WITH THE HONEY . ) > $ WELL , DOES HE ? $ 04 DON'T KNOW . $ 02 DOES HE SPEAK TO YOU WHEN YOU ARE ALONE OR DURING CLASS ? $ 04 LAST TIME IT WAS IN THE SACRISTY . $ < ( WIPES HANDS ON HIS PULLOVER . ) > $ 02 WHAT ON EARTH ARE YOU DOING ? $ 04 THEY 'RE STICKY . $ 02 THEN GO AND WASH THEM . $ 04 THEY 'RE ALL RIGHT NOW . $ 02 GO AND WASH THEM . $ 04 < ( GOING ) > $ NO SENSE IN DOING IT REALLY - THEY 'LL ONLY GET STICKY AGAIN . $ 05 HE DOES ANSWER BACK , DOESN'T HE ? $ 02 DID THEY EVER ASK YOU IF YOU 'D LIKE TO BE ANUN ? $ 05 EH ? $ 02 WHEN YOU WERE AT SCHOOL - DID THEY ASK YOU ? $ 05 NOT AS I REMEMBER - DID THEY ASK YOU ? $ 02 I WAS AT A COUNCIL SCHOOL . $ NON-DENOMINATIONAL . $ 05 WE DIDN'T HAVE THAT SORT OF THING IN KILBRIDE . $ CAN'T SAY I SEE MYSELF AS A NUN . $ 02 NO . $ 05 I LIKE A GOOD TIME . $ 02 IT WON'T LAST - ALONG WILL COME MR. SO-CALLED RIGHT AND Y OU 'LL REALIZE WHY THE VIRGINS WERE WISE . $ < ( A DOOR SLAMS AND MICK COMES INTO THE HALL . ) > $ NOW WHAT ? $ < ( ESTHER OPENS THE DOOR AND GOES INTO THE HALL . $ AS SHE DOES SO SEAN COMES TO THE TOP OF THE STAIRS . $ RUNS DOWN . ) > $ 03 DADDY ! $ 01 < ( PICKING HIM UP ) > $ HULLO ME OLD LADDIE BOY . $ < ( HUGS HIM . ) > $ < ( ESTHER TURNS AND GOES BACK TO THE KITCHEN . $ MICK SEES HER . ) > $ 03 DID YOU BRING ME ANYTHING ? $ 01 NOT TODAY . $ 03 WHY NOT ? $ 01 YOU CAN'T EXPECT SOMETHING EVERY DAY . $ < ( TAKES OFF COAT . ) > $ #17 $ YOUR HANDS ARE WET . $ 03 I WAS WASHING THEM AFTER DOING A WEE-WEE . $ 01 GOOD BOY - FINISH THEM OFF . $ < ( MICK PUTS SEAN ON THE STAIRS THEN GOES INTO THE KITCHEN . $ SIMULTANEOUSLY WITH THE ABOVE : ESTHER , IN THE KITCHEN , GE TS AN EGG , PUTS IT IN THE SAUCEPAN ON STOVE . $ LIGHTS GAS , TAKES CLEAN CUP AND SAUCER FROM DRESSER , LAYS PLACE FOR MICK AT THE TABLE , ADDS HOT WATER TO TEAPOT . ) > $ 05 IS IT MICK ? $ 02 YES . $ 05 I THOUGHT IT SOUNDED LIKE HIM . $ 02 NO ONE IN THIS HOUSE SHUTS A DOOR QUIETLY . $ 05 THAT 'S WHAT DAD USED TO SAY . $ < ( MICK COMES INTO THE KITCHEN . ) > $ 01 < ( TO ESTHER ) > $ YOU DISAPPEARED VERY ABRUPTLY . $ 02 I WAS DOING MY WIFELY DUTY . $ 01 OH ? $ WHAT 'S THAT ? $ 02 BOILING AN EGG . $ < ( PULLS CHAIR FROM UNDER THE TABLE . ) > $ YOUR MEAL IS ALMOST READY , MASTER . $ 01 DON'T BE STUPID , ES . $ 02 I 'M TRYING TO REMEMBER MY PLACE . $ 01 < ( AVOIDING CONFLICT ) > $ WHAT WERE YOU SAYING ABOUT YOUR DAD , JACKY ? $ 05 HE WAS ALWAYS COMPLAINING ABOUT DOORS BEING BANGED . $ 01 I DIDN'T BANG IT , DID I ? $ 02 YOU 'VE ACHIEVED BIGGER BANGS WITH LESS EFFORT - BUT NOT OFTEN . $ 01 OH ... SORRY . $ 02 NOT AT ALL . $ IT 'S YOUR DOOR . $ WHO AM I TO DEPRIVE YOU OF YOUR SIMPLE PLEASURES ? $ < ( ESTHER GOES OFF TO THE KITCHEN . ) > $ 05 YOU TWO DO GET AT EACH OTHER , DON'T YOU ? $ 01 ALL MARRIAGES HAVE THEIR UPS AND DOWNS . $ 05 WHEN CAN I EXPECT AN UP ? $ 01 DON'T BE CHEEKY . $ 05 WELL IT 'S BEEN DOWN EVER SINCE I 'VE BEEN HERE . $ 01 MIND YOU OWN BUSINESS . $ 05 I 'M JUST SYMPATHIZING . $ #18 $ 01 I CAN DO WITHOUT IT . $ YOU GOING OUT TONIGHT ? $ 05 I AM . $ 01 WHO 'S THE LUCKY BOY ? $ 05 NOBODY YOU KNOW . $ 01 OH ... MEET HIM AT WORK ? $ 05 NO . $ 01 CHURCH ? $ 05 NO . $ 01 HE 'S A CATHOLIC , I HOPE . $ 05 I DIDN'T ASK . $ 01 I DON'T WANT TO PRY - BUT I 'M SUPPOSED TO BE TAKING CARE OF YOU . $ 05 I 'M EIGHTEEN . $ 01 AND A GREAT AGE THAT IS - BUT LIVERPOOL 'S NOT LIKE KILBR IDE . $ THERE ARE MORE MEN HERE BUT FEWER GENTLEMEN . $ 05 IF THERE WERE ANY IN KILBRIDE , I NEVER MET THEM . $ 01 A GIRL COULD WALK IN KILBRIDE AT ANY TIME WITHOUT CAUSE F OR WORRY - THAT 'S THE MEASURE OF THE MEN THERE . $ 05 IT WAS FATHER MAC WHO KEPT THEM MEASURED - OUT EVERY NIGH T WITH HIS FLASHLIGHT . $ < ( ESTHER ARRIVES WITH AN EGG SHE PUTS BEFORE MICK . ) > $ 02 THREE MINUTES FLAT . $ 01 THANK YOU . $ 02 SALT ... PEPPER ... SPOON . $ 01 FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE , ESTHER , I 'M NOT GOING TO PUT UP WIT H THIS . $ < ( ALTERCATION UPSTAIRS . ) > $ 03 < ( OFF ) > $ STOP IT ... THAT 'S NOT FOR ... DON'T ... $ 04 < ( OFF ) > $ YOU DID IT FIRST . $ 03 < ( OFF ) > $ I DIDN'T . $ 04 < ( OFF ) > $ YOU DID . $ 03 < ( OFF ) > $ I DIDN'T ... STOP IT . $ < ( MICK GETS UP AND GOES UPSTAIRS . ) > $ 01 < ( GOING UP THE STAIRS ) > $ BOYS ... DECLAN ... SEAN ... WHAT 'S GOING ON ? $ < ( MICK EXITS . ) > $ 05 I WISH HE WOULDN'T TREAT ME LIKE A CHILD . $ 02 WHERE DID YOU MEET THIS ONE ? $ #19 $ 05 AT THE DANCE AT THE MECCA . $ HE 'S A SWEDE . $ 02 OH , IS HE ? $ 05 HIS ENGLISH ISN'T VERY GOOD . $ 02 THAT 'S ALWAYS A HELP . $ 05 HE 'S VERY GOOD LOOKING ... BLOND AND SORT OF CLEAN LOOKI NG . $ HE 'S VERY POLITE . $ HIS NAME 'S SVENSIG . $ 02 WHERE ARE YOU GOING ? $ 05 DRIVE SOMEWHERE I EXPECT . $ HE 'S GOT A CAR . $ 02 THAT SOUNDS OMINOUS . $ < ( MICK URGES DECLAN AND SEAN DOWN THE STAIRS . ) > $ 01 GO ON THERE . $ I 'M ASHAMED OF YOU . $ 05 HE 'S A VERY GOOD DRIVER . $ 02 POSSIBLY . $ IT 'S WHEN THEY STOP DRIVING YOU HAVE TO START WORRYING . $ < ( MICK BRINGS IN SEAN AND DECLAN . ) > $ 01 NOW SIT DOWN AND FINISH YOUR TEAS . $ 02 WHO WAS IT ? $ 01 THEY WERE FIGHTING WITH THE FLANNELS . $ 02 I SUPPOSE THE PLACE IS HALF-FLOODED . $ 01 IT 'S NOT TOO BAD AND THEY 'VE PROMISED TO SAY AN ACT OF CONTRITION . $ 02 THAT 'S A GREAT HELP . $ 01 ESTHER ! $ 02 IT WON'T BRING GABRIEL DOWN TO DRY THE PLACE UP , WILL IT ? $ 01 I 'VE DONE IT . $ 02 GOOD . $ THAT MEANS I 'LL HAVE TO WASH ALL THE TOWELS . $ 01 NOW LOOK HERE ... I 'VE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS . $ 04 OOH ... YOU GOING TO HAVE A ROW AGAIN ? $ 02 DECLAN , FINISH YOUR TEA . $ SIT DOWN , MICK . $ < ( TO SEAN . ) > $ WHAT DID YOU DO WITH YOUR TROUSERS , SEAN ? $ 03 I PUT THEM IN THE LINEN BASKET . $ 02 GOOD BOY . $ 01 DID HE WET HIS TROUSERS ? $ 03 NO I DIDN'T . $ IT WAS TEA . $ 04 THAT 'S WHAT YOU SAY . $ 02 DECLAN ... KEEP QUIET . $ 05 IT 'S NOT RIGHT GOING ON AT HIM . $ HE CAN'T HELP IT . $ #20 $ 01 HE 'S GOT TO LEARN . $ BIG BOYS DON'T DO THINGS LIKE THAT . $ 04 I DON'T . $ 03 IT 'S NOT MY FAULT . $ I CAN'T HELP IT . $ 01 YOU HAVE TO LEARN TO CONTROL IT , THAT 'S WHAT I 'M SAYIN G ... $ 03 IT JUST COMES OUT ... $ 01 DON'T INTERRUPT WHEN I 'M TALKING . $ IT 'S RUDE . $ 03 BUT I CAN'T HELP IT . $ 01 YOU HAVE TO LEARN TO HELP IT . $ THAT 'S WHAT I 'M ... $ 03 BUT YOU SEE , DADDY ... YOU SEE ... $ 01 NOW YOU 'RE INTERRUPTING AGAIN . $ 02 FOR GOODNESS SAKE LEAVE THE CHILD ALONE . $ 01 HE 'S GOT TO LEARN . $ 02 NOT AT TEA-TIME . $ < ( SHE PICKS UP THE TEAPOT . ) > $ DO YOU WANT ANY MORE ? $ 01 NO THANK YOU . $ 03 HAVE YOU GOT HAIRS ON YOUR WEE-WEE , DADDY ? $ < ( PAUSE . $ MICK AND ESTHER LOOK AT EACH OTHER . $ JACKY GIGGLES . ) > $ HAVE YOU , DADDY ? $ 01 YOU MUST NOT ASK THAT SORT OF THING . $ 03 WHY NOT ? $ 01 BECAUSE IT 'S NOT THE SORT OF THING YOU TALK ABOUT AT THE TEA TABLE . $ 03 BUT I ONLY ... DECLAN SAID ... $ 04 SHUT UP . $ 03 BUT YOU DID . $ 01 THAT 'S ENOUGH ! $ 02 YOU 'D BETTER HURRY UP OR YOU 'LL MISS THE TELLY . $ 04 IT 'S QUICK DRAW MAGRAW . $ 03 GOODY ! $ < ( THEY STUFF THEIR FOOD INTO THEIR MOUTHS . ) > $ 01 DON'T STUFF YOUR FOOD LIKE THAT . $ 04 I 'M IN A HURRY . $ 01 AND DON'T TALK WITH YOUR MOUTH FULL ! $ IT 'S RUDE . $ 04 IT ISN'T FULL . $ I CAN GET A LOT MORE IN . $ 02 < ( QUICKLY ) > $ MICK , WILL YOU SWITCH IT ON FOR THEM ? $ 01 I 'M NOT SURE THEY DESERVE IT . $ < ( BUT HE GETS UP AND GOES . ) > $ 04 CAN I GET DOWN PLEASE ? $ #21 $ 03 AND ME ? $ 02 AND DON'T LET ME HEAR ANY FIGHTING OR I 'LL BE IN TO SWIT CH IT OFF . $ < ( THE TWO BOYS MAKE FOR THE DOOR . ) > $ 04 BAGS I THE ROCKER . $ 03 NO ... BAGS I ... $ < ( THEY EXIT THROUGH THE HALL TO THE FRONT ROOM , BANGING T HE DOOR . ) > $ 02 I MARVEL THIS HOUSE IS STILL STANDING . $ 05 WHAT ABOUT SEAN ? $ WHERE 'D HE GET THAT FROM ? $ 02 THEY PICK UP ALL SORTS OF THINGS AT SCHOOL . $ 05 YES . $ BUT I MEAN ... $ 02 WHAT ? $ 05 NOTHING . $ 02 AH ... WELL THE ANSWER TO THAT IS THAT MICK IS VERY SHY . $ 05 BUT HE 'S MARRIED . $ HE 'S THEIR FATHER . $ 02 IT TAKES ALL SORTS TO MAKE A WORLD . $ 05 I DIDN'T KNOW THERE WAS THAT SORT . $ THAT 'S TAKING IT A BIT FAR , SURELY . $ 02 THERE ARE OTHER EXTREMES . $ YOU WATCH YOUR SWEDE . $ I 'VE HEARD THEY 'RE VERY QUICK ON THE DRAW . $ 05 I WOULDN'T LET HIM TOUCH ME . $ 02 NO ? $ 05 I HOPE I KNOW WHAT 'S RIGHT . $ 02 DID YOU TELL THAT TO JIMMY DAVIES ? $ 05 I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN . $ 02 SUIT YOURSELF . $ BUT IF YOU CAN'T BE GOOD FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE BE CAREFUL . $ 05 OH ! $ NOT YOU . $ I GET ENOUGH OF THAT FROM UNCLE MICK . $ 02 I MEAN CAREFUL CAREFUL . $ JUST REMEMBER THAT IF THE PRIESTS HAD THE BABIES THEY 'D BE HANDING OUT CONTRACEPTIVES AT CONFESSION . $ < ( JACKY GIGGLES . ) > $ I 'M GLAD YOU 'VE GOT A SENSE OF HUMOUR ANYWAY . $ 05 I WAS JUST THINKING IT 'D CAUSE A BIT OF A STIR IN KILBRI DE IF THEY DID . $$ 02 IT WOULDN'T GO UNNOTICED HERE . $ #22 $ < ( MICK COMES BACK . ) > $ 01 THAT T.V. NEEDS ATTENTION . $ THE PICTURE KEEPS JUMPING . $ 02 IT 'S BEEN LIKE THAT FOR WEEKS . $ 01 I 'LL RING UP ABOUT IT IN THE MORNING . $ < ( MICK RESUMES HIS SEAT AT THE TABLE . ) > $ 05 I 'D BETTER BE OFF . $ 01 ELEVEN O'CLOCK REMEMBER OR THE DOOR 'LL BE LOCKED . $ 05 < ( GOING INTO THE HALL FOR COAT ETC ) > $ THEN LEAVE THE WINDOW OPEN . $ 01 SHE 'S A PROBLEM , THAT GIRL . $ I 'VE A MIND TO WRITE TO PADDY AND ASK HIM TO HAVE HER BACK HOME . $ 02 DON'T BE TOO SURE SHE 'D GO . $ 01 SHE 'D NEVER DISOBEY HER FATHER . $ 02 TRY IT AND SEE . $ < ( ESTHER GOES INTO THE KITCHEN . ) > $ 01 AND I 'D BE GLAD IF YOU 'D NOT UNDERMINE MY AUTHORITY WHE N I 'M DEALING WITH THE BOYS . $ 02 WHEN YOU STOP BEHAVING LIKE A DICTATOR I 'LL BE GLAD TO C O-OPERATE . $ 01 THERE 'S NOTHING DICTATORIAL IN EXPECTING OBEDIENCE FROM A CHILD . $ 02 AS SOON AS YOU HEARD HIS TROUSERS WERE WET YOU WERE AFTER HIM LIKE A TERRIER AFTER A RABBIT . $ IT WAS TEA , THAT 'S ALL . $ 01 YOU COULD HAVE TOLD ME . $ 02 HE TOLD YOU . $ 01 THAT 'S DIFFERENT . $ HE LIES ABOUT IT . $ 02 AND WHO'S FAULT IS THAT ? $ 01 IT 'S CERTAINLY NOT MINE . $ 02 OF COURSE IT 'S YOURS . $ HE LIES TO ESCAPE YOUR NAGGING . $ 01 I SUPPOSE IT 'S MY FAULT HE WETS THE BED TOO ? $ 02 THE WAY YOU GO AT HIM DOESN'T HELP . $ 01 DO YOU WANT ME TO LET HIM GO AROUND FIDDLING WITH HIMSELF ALL DAY ? $ 02 IT DOESN'T DO ANY HARM . $ ALL BOYS DO IT . $ 01 AT HIS AGE HE SHOULD HAVE GROWN OUT OF IT . $ 02 HAD YOU ? $ #23 $ 01 MY FATHER TAUGHT ME TO HAVE A PROPER RESPECT FOR MYSELF . $ 02 HUH ! $ 01 WHAT DOES THAT MEAN ? $ 02 NOTHING . $ JUST LEAVE SEAN ALONE . $ HE 'LL GROW OUT OF IT . $ 01 AND WHO 'LL TAKE THE BLAME IF HE DOESN'T ? $ 02 DON'T BE SILLY . $ 01 THERE 'S NOTHING SILLY ABOUT IT . $ IT 'S AN EMBARRASSING HABIT . $ 02 IT DOESN'T EMBARRASS HIM , OR ME . $ 01 IT DOES ME . $ I DON'T LIKE IT . $ 02 THEN TAKE HIM TO SEE A DOCTOR . $ 01 HE 'S NOT ILL . $ 02 THEN TAKE YOURSELF TO SEE ONE . $ 01 THAT 'S RIGHT . $ LAUGH ABOUT IT . $ 02 YOU 'RE THE ONE WHO 'S WORKED UP ABOUT IT . $ 01 I AM SIMPLY TRYING TO ENSURE THAT HE DOESN'T GET OBSESSED WITH HIMSELF . $ 02 MICK , FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE ... $ 01 LOOK AT HIS BEHAVIOUR JUST NOW . $ THAT 'S A NICE THING TO BE ASKED IN THE MIDDLE OF TEA . $ 02 WHAT IS ? $ 01 THAT . $ YOU KNOW VERY WELL ... ABOUT ... ABOUT HAIRS . $ 02 OH , DON'T BE SUCH A PRUDE . $ 01 I 'M NOT A PRUDE ! $ I JUST DON'T THINK IT 'S A SUBJECT FOR DISCUSSION OVER TEA . $ 02 IF YOU TOLD HIM CALMLY THAT ALL ADULTS HAVE PUBIC HAIR TH AT WOULD HAVE BEEN THE END OF IT . $ CAN'T YOU SEE THAT ? $ 01 I WAS TOO EMBARRASSED TO SEE ANYTHING - IN FRONT OF JACKY TOO . $ 02 SHE DIDN'T MIND . $ 01 I 'M THE ONE WHO LOOKS A FOOL ! $ 02 THEN DON'T KEEP HIM IN IGNORANCE . $ TALK TO HIM ABOUT THINGS . $ 01 I 'LL GET FATHER YEO TO HAVE A WORD WITH HIM . . 02 A FAT LOT OF GOOD THAT WILL DO . . THE NAIVE COMFORTING THE IGNORANT . $ #24 $ 01 I DON'T THINK THAT 'S VERY FUNNY . $ 02 I SUGGEST YOU LEAVE FATHER YEO OUT OF THIS . $ HE 'S ROUND HERE FAR TOO OFTEN AS IT IS . $ 01 HE HAS HIS VISITING TO DO . $ IT 'S PART OF HIS DUTIES - $ 02 MAYBE IN IRELAND , BUT NOT OVER HERE . $ THIS ISN'T KILBRIDE , YOU KNOW ! $ 01 LOOK , ESTHER - $ 02 I 'VE TOLD YOU COUNTLESS TIMES I DON'T THINK IT 'S FUNNY HAVING A PRIEST BREATHING DOWN MY NECK . $ HE USES THIS PLACE LIKE A CLUB . $ 01 HE 'S MY FRIEND . $ WE GREW UP TOGETHER . $ 02 I 'M YOUR WIFE . $ WIFE ! $ MY GOD ! $ < ( ESTHER MOVES DOWNSTAGE . $ THE LIGHTS FADE LEAVING HER ISOLATED IN A SPOT . ) > $ WHAT 'S A WIFE BUT A GIRL WITH A BUSTED DREAM ? $ THE THING IS WE DON'T KNOW . $ WE MARRY A DREAM AND WAKE UP WITH A HUMAN BEING IN OUR BED . $ I DID WORSE . $ I MARRIED A MAN WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS A PRIEST . $ ... $ MATRIMONY AND MOTHERHOOD ARE PRISON ENOUGH BUT A PRIEST IN T HE FAMILY 'S LIKE HAVING A GUARD AT THE PEEP-HOLE . $ MICK TAKES THE CHURCH TO BED WITH HIM . $ BUT I 'VE GOT THESE NOW . $ < ( HOLDS UP A BOTTLE OF PILLS . ) > $ I HAVE TO DECANT THEM INTO A BOTTLE . $ THEY 'RE EASIER TO HIDE . $ MICK IS A GREAT RUMMAGER TO SAY NOTHING OF THE BOYS . $ THE VERY LATEST FOR FRUSTRATING FECUNDITY . $ A COMPOUND OF CHEMICALS GUARANTEED TO FOOL THE BODY AND CHEA T THE OVARIES . $ OBTAINABLE AT THE FAMILY PLANNING CLINIC IN FREER STREET . $ PRICE TEN AND SIXPENCE AFTER MEMBERSHIP FEE 2 POUNDS ... SAV ED FROM THE HOUSEKEEPING AND CHEAP AT THE PRICE OF SAVING A MARRIAGE AND LET THE POPE GO JUMP . $ HE 'S NEVER BEEN A MOTHER . $ < ( THE LIGHTS COME UP AGAIN AS ESTHER MOVES UP TO THE KITCH EN . $ MICK IS IN THE HALL WITH FATHER YEO WHO IS REMOVING HIS COAT . $ THE PRAM HAS BEEN TAKEN OFF . ) > $ 01 ... I MUST SAY I WAS SURPRISED ABOUT FATHER MCCANN MYSELF . $ THAT 'S PUTTING IT MILDLY . $ 06 THE LORD MOVES IN MYSTERIOUS WAYS HIS WONDERS TO PERFORM . $ THAT 'S A FACT . $ THE DIVINE INTELLIGENCE IS BEYOND OUR UNDERSTANDING . $ #25 $ WE CAN ONLY LOOK FOR SIGNS , PORTENTS , SIGNALS AS TO HIS DI VINE INTENTION . $ AND PRAY ... AS I MUST SAY I HAVE PRAYED ... FOR GUIDANCE . $ BUT I STILL CAN'T SEE WHY FATHER MCCANN WAS MADE A CANON AND NOT ME . $ 01 PERSONALLY I 'M GLAD . $ IT MEANS YOU 'LL BE STAYING HERE . $ 06 UNFORTUNATELY MY MOTHER IS UNCHRISTIAN ENOUGH TO BE MORE CONCERNED FOR MY TEMPORAL ADVANCE THAN MY FLOCK'S SPIRITUAL WELFARE . $ 01 GET ON . $ IT 'S ENOUGH FOR HER THAT YOU 'RE A PRIEST . $ 06 NOT WHEN A NEIGHBOUR'S SON STEPS UP IN THE HIERARCHY . $ IT 'S UPSET HER SOCIAL SCHEME OF THINGS . $ SHE IS CONVINCED THAT SOMEHOW JOHN MCCANN'S ELEVATION WILL A FFECT HER STANDING IN HEAVEN WITH HIS MOTHER . $ TO SAY NOTHING OF HER STANDING HERE ON EARTH . $ 01 I EXPECT YOU 'LL BE ABLE TO PUT HER MIND AT REST . $ 06 I DOUBT IF EVEN THE HOLY FATHER COULD . $ THE MIND OF WOMAN IS ONE OF GOD'S MORE COMPLICATED CREATIONS . $ < ( ESTHER ENTERS . ) > $ PRESENT COMPANY EXCEPTED , OF COURSE . $ 02 EXCEPTED FROM WHAT ? $ 01 VAL'S MOTHER 'S PAYING HIM A VISIT . $ 02 < ( TO YEO ) > $ DON'T YOU LIKE HER ? $ 06 I LOVE HER . $ GOD FORGIVE ME ... BUT WHEN FIRST I LEFT HOME FOR MAYNOOTH I TOLD A LIE . $ BY WAY OF COMFORTING HER I TOLD HER I 'D MISS HER COOKING . $ I 'VE BEEN DOING PENANCE EVER SINCE , FOR EVERY TIME SHE PA YS ME A VISIT I LOSE MY HOUSEKEEPER . $ 02 YES , WELL , WE ALL HAVE OUR CROSSES TO BEAR - AS YOU 'RE ALWAYS POINTING OUT . $ 06 THAT 'S TRUE - BUT SOME CROSSES ARE HEAVIER THAN OTHERS . $ 02 IF YOU HAD YOUR MOTHER TO LIVE WITH YOU , YOU WOULDN'T NE ED A HOUSEKEEPER . $ 06 I WOULDN'T BUT IT 'S NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE STUFF OF MART YRDOM . $ HOLY ORDERS REFINES THE STOMACH AS WELL AS THE SOUL AND ONCE A MAN 'S GOT USED TO EATING WELL , STARVATION 'S A MORE ATT RACTIVE DIET THAN A HOMELY IRISH MENU . $ 01 NOW I KNOW WHY YOU DROPPED THE IDEA OF GOING TO THE FRANC ISCANS . $ #26 $ 06 THE SECULAR ARM HAS IT'S COMPENSATIONS - AND PENALTIES . $ ESTHER , I 'VE NOT SEEN YOU AT THE C.M.U. FOR A MONTH . $ 02 IT 'S NOT AN OBLIGATION , IS IT ? $ 06 THAT 'S TRUE , IT 'S NOT . $ 02 THEN I 'LL GIVE IT A MISS IF YOU DON'T MIND . $ 01 WOULD YOU LIKE A DRINK , VAL ? ... A SHERRY ? $ < ( QUICKLY . ) > $ 06 A SWEET ONE IF YOU HAVE IT . $ < ( TO ESTHER . ) > $ WOULD IT BE MRS. HALE THAT 'S BOTHERING YOU ? $ SHE 'S A WOMAN THE GOOD LORD MIXED UP A BIT IN THE MAKING . $ NO ONE 'S STRONGER FOR THE FAITH OR THE MOTHER'S UNION OR A GREATER THREAT TO THE DISINTEGRATION OF BOTH . $ HAS SHE PICKED ON YOU AS A FRIEND ? $ 02 THE WOMEN THERE ARE BORES ... IT 'S JUST A WASTE OF TIME . $ 01 ESTHER 'S NOT QUITE HERSELF . $ 02 I AM PERFECTLY MYSELF ! $ THAT 'S SEAN . $ < ( IT LOOKS LIKE A CONFRONTATION BUT THEY ARE SAVED BY A YE LL FROM UPSTAIRS . $ ESTHER TURNS TO GO . $ YEO STOPS HER . ) > $ 06 AH , NOW ... YOU 'VE HAD THEM ALL DAY . $ LET MICK TAKE A TURN . $ 01 THEY 'RE AT SCHOOL ALL ... $ 06 THE HUSBAND SHOULD SHARE THE BURDEN OF THE WIFE . $ THERE 'S A BLESSING IN HEAVEN FOR IT ... $ < ( MICK GOES TO THE DOOR . ) > $ HE PROBABLY WANTS HIS POTTY . $ 01 HE SHOULD BE PAST IT NOW . $ 06 OFF YOU GO THEN ... $ < ( MICK GOES OUT . ) > $ HE 'S A GOOD LAD . $ 02 YOU MEAN HE DOES AS YOU TELL HIM . $ 06 WE 'VE ALL GOT OUR FOIBLES , HAVEN'T WE ? $ < ( ESTHER , BUSY WITH GETTING WASHING AND IRONING TOGETHER , DOESN'T REPLY . ) > $ NOTHING WORRYING YOU , IS THERE ? $ 02 I 'M NOT PREGNANT IF THAT 'S WHAT YOU 'RE TRYING TO FIND OUT . $ 06 IT NEVER CROSSED MY MIND . $ #27 $ 02 GOD FORGIVE YOU . $ 06 I EXPECT HE WILL TOO . $ YOU SEE , ESTHER , MICK 'S MY FRIEND , SO EVEN APART FROM MY DUTY AS HIS SPIRITUAL FATHER , I 'VE A GREAT INTEREST IN HI S HAPPINESS . $ 02 AS HIS WIFE I 'VE A GREATER ONE . $ 06 THAT 'S TRUE ... ARE THE CHILDREN WELL ? $ 02 SPIRITUALLY EXCELLENT . $ 06 I 'M GLAD TO HEAR IT . $ DID SEAN ENJOY HIS RUN AROUND FREER STREET THE OTHER DAY ? $ < ( ESTHER LOOKS AT HIM . $ PAUSE . ) > $ MRS. HALE WAS TELLING ME SHE SAW HIM THERE . $ 02 SHE WAS SEEING THINGS . $ 06 THAT 'S WHAT I TOLD HER . $ IT 'S A POOR PLACE ROUND THERE . $ YOU 'D HAVE NO CALL TO BE IN THAT PART OF THE TOWN . $ 02 THE SAME MIGHT BE SAID OF MRS. HALE . $ 06 OH , SHE WAS LOOKING FOR SIN . $ IT 'S ONE OF HER FAVOURITE SPOTS DOWN THERE BY THE CLINIC . $ A GREAT WATCHDOG IS MRS. HALE . $ WHAT WE DON'T HEAR IN THE CONFESSIONAL WE HEAR FROM HER . $ 02 < ( SARCASTICALLY ) > $ WHAT SORT OF INDULGENCE DOES THAT EARN HER ? $ 06 < ( PAUSE ) > $ THE CHURCH HAS COMPASSION FOR ALL . $ THE OVER-ZEALOUS AS WELL AS THE SINNER . $ 02 THAT MUST BE A GREAT COMFORT TO EVERYONE , PARTICULARLY H ER VICTIMS . $ 06 DO YOU NUMBER YOURSELF AMONG THEM ? $ 02 < ( CHALLENGINGLY ) > $ ONLY YOU CAN ANSWER THAT , SURELY ? $ < ( MICK COMES BACK . ) > $ 01 HE WANTS YOU . $ < ( ESTHER GETS UP AND GOES OUT . ) > $ SORRY , VAL . $ DID YOU WANT TO TALK TO HER ? $ 06 IT 'S ALWAYS A PLEASURE TO TALK TO ESTHER . $ NOW - WHAT DID YOU WANT TO SEE ME ABOUT ? $ 01 ME ? $ 06 YOU ASKED ME TO COME IN FOR A WORD . $ 01 AH ... YES ... YES ... YES , I DID . $ < ( PAUSE . ) > $ 06 WELL , I 'M WAITING . $ #28 $ 01 IT 'S NOT - IT 'S NOT ... ER ... AN EASY THING TO TALK AB OUT . $ YOU SEE ... WELL ... IT 'S ABOUT ESTHER , YOU SEE . $ WE 'VE GOT THREE BOYS AS YOU KNOW . $ ... $ 06 HAVEN'T I BAPTIZED EVERY ONE OF THEM ? $ 01 YES ... WELL ... NOW ... ESTHER 'S HAD A LOT OF DIFFICULT Y HAVING CHILDREN AS YOU KNOW AND WELL ... THE THING IS ... SHE DOESN'T WANT ANY MORE . $ 06 < ( SIGNIFICANTLY ) > $ AH ! $ 01 I CAN SEE HER POINT ... HOW SHE LOOKS AT IT . $ BUT IT 'S NOT EASY FOR ME , YOU UNDERSTAND . $ 06 IT 'S USUALLY THE WIVES WHO BRING THIS UP . $ SOMETIMES IT 'S THE HUSBANDS , BUT MOSTLY THE WIVES . $ THEY 'RE BOLDER FOR THE MOST PART - THEY LOOK YOU IN THE EYE . $ 01 IT 'S A TERRIBLE PROBLEM , VAL . $ 06 I CAN'T DENY THAT . $ IT IS , AND I HAVE TO PRAY FOR STRENGTH EVERY TIME I MEET IT ... BUT THE TEACHING OF THE CHURCH IS CLEAR . $ IT 'S A MORTAL SIN , MICK - THROW THEM AWAY . $ PUT THEM FROM YOUR SIGHT AND ASK THE FORGIVENESS OF GOD FOR EVER TOUCHING THEM . $ 01 I DON'T FOLLOW YOU , VAL ... TOUCHING WHAT ? $ 06 GET THEM OUT OF YOUR HOUSE , MICK . $ THEY 'VE NO PLACE HERE . $ 01 LOOK , VAL , YOU 'RE FOGGING ME ... I 'M LOSING TRACK OF WHAT YOU 'RE ON ABOUT . $ 06 THE WAYS , MICK . $ THE WAYS THE HOLY MOTHER CHURCH ABHORS OF FRUSTRATING THE WI LL OF GOD IN MARRIAGE . $ DON'T PUT YOUR SOUL IN JEOPARDY THROUGH THE EVILS OF CONTRAC EPTIVE DEVICES THE ... $ 01 < ( INDIGNANTLY ) > $ ME ! $ I WOULDN'T TOUCH THE THINGS . $ I WOULDN'T SOIL MY MARRIAGE OR MY WIFE'S BODY WITH THEM . $ 06 I 'M GLAD TO HEAR IT . $ 01 OR MY OWN . $ 06 YOU 'RE A TRUE CATHOLIC , MICK . $ 01 I HOPE SO . $ 06 < ( CAREFULLY ) > $ AND ESTHER 'S TOO GOOD A WOMAN TO THINK OF DECEIVING HER HUS BAND ... $ < ( MICK LOOKS AT HIM . ) > $ 01 HAVE YOU GOT THE DEVIL IN YOU OR WHAT ? $ #29 $ 06 I 'M ASKING YOU AS YOUR SPIRITUAL FATHER WHOSE CONCERN IS FOR THE HAPPINESS OF YOU MARRIAGE AND YOUR WIFE'S IMMORTAL SOUL . $ 01 < ( ANGRILY ) > $ AND I 'M TELLING YOU , VAL YEO , THAT , PRIEST OR NOT , YOU 'LL NOT TAKE ME FOR A FOOL AND MY WIFE FOR A DECEIVER . $ IF WE WERE BACK IN KILBRIDE WITHOUT YOUR CLOTH , YOU 'D BE O N THE FLOOR ! $ 06 NOW , MICK , TEMPER 'S A SIN - REMEMBER THAT . $ YOU KNOW I 'M YOUR FRIEND . $ AND YOU KNOW AS A PRIEST I HAVE TO BE SURE YOU 'RE SURE . $ 01 I COULDN'T BE MORE SURE . $ WE 'VE BEEN IN SEPARATE BEDS SINCE BRENDEN WAS BORN . $ 06 WHAT , TEN MONTHS ? $ 01 THAT 'S IT . $ 06 AH ... WELL ... IN THAT CASE THERE 'S NO DENYING YOU 'VE EVERY RIGHT TO BE SURE . $ I 'LL DO PENANCE FOR MY THOUGHTS . $ 01 IT 'S A GREAT STRAIN ON A MAN . $ IT 'S WHAT I ASKED YOU TO COME IN ABOUT . $ I WANT YOU ADVICE . $ 06 YOU MUST PRAY FOR STRENGTH , MICK ... AND GUIDANCE . $ 01 I 'VE DONE THAT AND IT CAME TO ME THAT A WORD FROM YOU MI GHT HELP . $ 06 AH , WELL NOW ... I DON'T KNOW ... $ 01 IT 'S RUINING US , VAL . $ A MAN GETS IRRITABLE WITHOUT IT ... IF HE 'S USED TO IT , I MEAN . $ WE GET BICKERING AND ALL TIED UP WITH EACH OTHERS' NERVES . $ IF YOU WERE TO HAVE A WORD WITH HER CONCERNING HER WIFELY DU TIES ... $ 06 AH NOW , I THINK THAT WOULD BE BETTER COMING FROM YOU ... $ 01 IT 'S NOT EASY FOR ME ... IT 'S NOT THAT I 'M A DEMANDING MAN . $ BUT A WIFE SHOULD BE A WIFE AND THE WAY WE 'RE GOING ON IT ' LL BE THE FINISH OF US . $ IF YOU WERE TO HAVE A WORD WITH HER ... $ 06 I 'LL TELL YOU WHAT I 'LL DO . $ I 'LL LOOK OUT A FEW OF THE TRUTH SOCIETY'S BOOKS FOR HER . $ ABOUT A SAFE PERIOD ... $ 01 SHE DOESN'T TRUST IT . $ 06 AH ... THAT 'S DIFFICULT . $ NOW IT 'S TIME I WAS OFF . $ 01 YOU MUST HAVE A WORD WITH HER BEFORE YOU GO . $ 06 MY MOTHER 'S EXPECTING ME FOR SUPPER AND YOU ... $ #30 $ 01 I TELL YOU I 'M GOING MAD WITH IT , VAL , IF I ... I NEED HER , YOU SEE ... $ < ( ESTHER COMES IN FROM THE HALL . ) > $ 02 HE WAS HAVING A BAD DREAM . $ < ( YEO AND MICK ARE CLOSE TOGETHER . ) > $ IS IT CONFIDENTIAL ? $ 01 ER , WELL . $ < ( HE IS SAVED BY THE TELEPHONE . $ IT RINGS IN THE HALL . ) > $ I 'LL GET IT . $ < ( MICK GOES OFF INTO THE HALL . ) > $ 02 < ( NARROWLY ) > $ HAS HE BEEN TALKING TO YOU ABOUT THE CHILDREN ? $ ABOUT SEAN ? $ 06 WELL HE ... NOT EXACTLY . $ 02 I 'D RATHER YOU LEFT MICK AND ME TO SORT OUT OUR OWN PROB LEMS . $ 06 I 'M YOUR PRIEST , ESTHER , AND ... $ 02 WHEN I 'VE ANY SPIRITUAL PROBLEMS , I 'LL LET YOU KNOW . $ 06 SOMETIMES IT 'S HARD TO DISENTANGLE THE SPIRITUAL FROM TH E PHYSICAL . $ 02 YOU 'LL HAVE TO TRUST MY INTELLIGENCE . $ NOW IF YOU DON'T MIND , I 'VE THE IRONING TO FINISH . $ < ( IN THE HALL MICK ANSWERS THE PHONE . $ DURING THE ABOVE . ) > $ 01 HULLO ... OH ... YES . $ HULLO , MRS. YEO . $ YES , HE 'S HERE . $ YES , I 'M FINE . $ RIGHT , I 'LL GET HIM . $ 06 I CAN UNDERSTAND YOUR BEING UPSET ABOUT ... $ 02 I 'M NOT UPSET . $ 06 MICK 'S EXPLAINED THE SITUATION TO ME . $ 02 WHAT SITUATION ? $ 06 I WANT YOU TO KNOW I 'LL DO PENANCE FOR DOUBTING YOU AND LISTENING TO EVIL TONGUES . $ < ( MICK ENTERS . ) > $ 01 IT 'S YOUR MOTHER , VAL . $ SHE WANTS YOU . $ 06 I 'M LATE FOR SUPPER . $ I 'D GIVE SOMETHING TO GET OUT OF IT . $ 01 YOU CAN EAT HERE . $ 02 IT 'S VEAL . $ HE DOESN'T LIKE VEAL . $ < ( TO YEO . ) > $ DO YOU ? $ 06 OH ... I 'D BETTER SPEAK TO HER . $ IT WOULDN'T DO TO LET HER DOWN . $ SHE 'S EXPECTING ME . $ < ( YEO GOES OUT TO THE PHONE . ) > $ 01 I WISH YOU 'D BE MORE POLITE TO VAL . $ #31 $ 02 I PAY HIM THE COMPLIMENT OF TRYING TO TREAT HIM AS A HUMA N BEING . $ 06 < ( INTO PHONE ) > $ HULLO , MOTHER ... $ 01 I 'M GOING TO HAVE THIS OUT WITH YOU , ESTHER . $ 02 < ( IRONING ) > $ WOULD YOU LIKE TO SLEEP WITH ME TONIGHT ? $ 01 WHEN YOU MARRIED ME YOU ... DID YOU SAY WHAT I THOUGHT YO U SAID ? $ 02 I ASKED IF YOU WANTED TO SLEEP WITH ME TONIGHT ? $ 06 < ( INTO PHONE ) > $ YES , MOTHER . $ 01 DO YOU MEAN IT ? $ 06 < ( IN HALL ) > $ YES , MOTHER . $ 02 IT 'S PART OF A BARGAIN . $ 01 OH ... WHAT 'S THAT ? $ 06 < ( IN HALL ) > $ YES , MOTHER . $ 02 IF YOU PROMISE NOT TO KEEP ON AT SEAN , YOU CAN COME BACK TO MY BED . $ 01 KEEP ON AT HIM ABOUT WHAT ? $ 02 HIS PLAYING WITH HIMSELF . $ 01 NOW WAIT A MINUTE , I ... $ 06 < ( IN HALL ) > $ NO MOTHER , I WON'T . $ 02 NO IFS OR BUTS . $ I THINK MAYBE YOU 'RE GETTING ON AT HIM BECAUSE YOU 'RE FRUS TRATED . $ 01 I 'M FRUSTRATED ALL RIGHT . $ THERE 'S NO DENYING THAT . $ 06 < ( IN HALL ) > $ YES , SO AM I , MOTHER . $ I PROMISE . $ < ( PUTS DOWN PHONE AND WIPES HIS BROW . ) > $ 02 WELL , ARE YOU WILLING TO TRY THE CURE ? $ 01 I THINK IT 'S A GOOD IDEA ... YES ... IT 'LL BE WORTH TRY ING . $ < ( YEO MOVES DOWN TO THE LIVING-ROOM DOOR . ) > $ 02 WE 'D BETTER GO TO BED EARLY - TOMORROW 'S YOUR BUSY DAY . $ 01 I AM A BIT TIRED - AN EARLY NIGHT WILL SUIT ME . $ < ( YEO COMES IN . ) > $ 06 I 'VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT THE VEAL AND I ... $ 01 AH , WE UNDERSTAND YOUR NOT LIKING IT , VAL ... GET OFF T O YOUR MOTHER NOW AND HAVE A GOOD MEAL . $ 06 I WAS ABOUT TO SAY THAT I ... 01 I 'LL GET YOUR COAT ... $ < ( HE TAKES YEO INTO THE HALL ) > $ COME ON NOW , YOU MUST BE STARVING . $ ... $ #32 $ 06 ARE YOU WANTING TO GET RID OF ME ? $ 01 YOU 'RE A GREAT MAN , VAL ... A TRUE FRIEND . $ PUT YOUR ARMS IN THIS . $ < ( HOLDS UP COAT . ) > $ YOU DID IT , YOU DID IT ... $ GOD BLESS YOU . $ 06 DID WHAT ? $ 01 THE TRICK WITH HER , OF COURSE . $ HERE . $ < ( HANDS YEO HIS HAT AND GUIDES HIM TO THE DOOR . ) > $ SHE 'S TOLD ME I CAN SLEEP WITH HER TONIGHT . $ 06 SHE DID ? $ 01 JUST LIKE THAT SHE CAME OUT WITH IT . $ YOU 'RE LOOKING AT A HAPPY MAN , VAL . $ 06 < ( SUSPICIOUS ) > $ IT WAS A BIT SUDDEN , WASN'T IT ? $ 01 THAT 'S THE WAY WOMEN ARE - YOU NEVER KNOW WITH THEM . $ OFF YOU GO TO SUPPER . $ GOD BLESS YOU . $ 06 AH ... WELL , I 'M HAPPY TO SHARE YOUR JOY . $ 01 I KNOW THAT , VAL . $ YOU DON'T MIND IF I SHUT THE DOOR NOW ... IT 'S A COLD NIGHT . $ 06 AH ... GOOD NIGHT THEN , MICK . $ < ( HE IS RELUCTANT AND SUSPICIOUS . ) > $ 01 AND IT 'LL BE A GOOD NIGHT TOO ... GOD BLESS YOU , VAL . $ < ( MICK SHUTS THE DOOR . $ IN THE KITCHEN ESTHER FOLDS THE CLOTHES SHE HAS BEEN IRONING . $ MICK COMES IN . ) > $ AH WELL ... HE 'S GONE THEN . $ 02 NOT VERY WILLINGLY - IS HIS MOTHER THAT BAD ? $ 01 SHE 'S A TARTAR - THE TERROR OF KILBRIDE . $ BUT A GREAT ONE FOR THE CHURCH . $ 02 IS THERE ANYONE IN KILBRIDE WASN'T ? $ 01 TRUE . $ I WAS NEARLY A PRIEST MYSELF ONCE . $ DID I EVER TELL YOU THAT ? $ 02 ABOUT ONCE A MONTH SINCE WE 'VE BEEN MARRIED . $ 01 < ( CATCHES HER AS SHE PASSES ) > $ STOP FUSSING ABOUT WITH THAT AND GIVE ME A KISS . $ I 'VE BEEN LIVING LIKE A PRIEST TOO LONG . $ 02 NOT THINKING LIKE A PRIEST THO' , I BET . $ 01 YOU 'RE A DEVIL , YOU ARE . $ < ( PUTS HIS ARMS ROUND HER . ) > $ I DON'T THINK I 'M CUT OUT FOR CELIBACY . $ 02 IS ANY MAN ? $ 01 I CAN'T ANSWER FOR OTHERS . $ < ( HE PULLS HER ON TO HIS KNEE . ) > $ #33 $ I NEED A WOMAN . $ < ( KISSES HER . ) > $ 02 DON'T THINK I DON'T NEED A MAN . $ 01 I 'VE ALWAYS BEEN AVAILABLE . $ 02 WELL ... NOW I AM . $ 01 YOU 'RE A BEAUTIFUL GIRL ... $ < ( LIFTS HER UP . ) > $ 02 NO ... NOT NOW . $ 01 < ( AT DOOR ) > $ A MAN 'S GOT TO TAKE A WOMAN WHEN HE WANTS HER ... OPEN THE DOOR , MY HANDS ARE FULL . $ 02 BUT IT 'S ONLY SEVEN O'CLOCK ! $ 01 EARLY TO BED ... $ 02 BUT SUPPER ... $ 01 WHO 'S HUNGRY ? $ OPEN THE DOOR . $ 02 < ( OPENING IT ) > $ YOU WOULDN'T CARRY ME ON OUR HONEYMOON . $ 01 MY WHAT AN EYE-OPENER THAT WAS . $ 02 YOU 'RE A LOT BOLDER NOW . $ 01 I 'VE TEN MONTHS OF FRUSTRATION WORKING ON ME . $ < ( THEY ARE ON THE STAIRS WHEN THE DOOR BELL RINGS . $ MICK STOPS . $ THEY LOOK AT EACH OTHER . ) > $ 02 YOU 'D BETTER GO , I SUPPOSE . $ < ( MICK PUTS ESTHER DOWN AND GOES TO THE DOOR . $ SHE STAYS ON THE STAIR . $ MICK OPENS THE DOOR . $ IT IS FATHER YEO . ) > $ 06 I FORGOT TO TELL YOU THAT ... $ 01 I 'M BUSY , VAL ... WE 'RE HAVING AN EARLY NIGHT . $ 06 < ( LOOKING UP AT ESTHER ON THE STAIRS ) > $ OH , ARE YOU NOW ? $ 01 SO IF YOU DON'T MIND ... $ 06 BUT SISTER TERESA WANTS TO SEE YOU . $ 01 I 'LL SEE HER TOMORROW . $ 06 BUT SHE 'S WAITING AT THE SCHOOL . $ I SAID I 'D BRING YOU AT SEVEN . $ 01 I CAN'T GO THERE NOW . $ 06 BUT SHE 'S THERE SPECIALLY . $ IT 'S ABOUT SEAN . $ 02 SEAN ? $ WHAT 'S HE BEEN UP TO ? $ 06 I DON'T KNOW . $ THAT 'S A FACT . $ BUT THE SISTER WAS VERY INSISTENT MICK HAD A WORD WITH HER T ONIGHT . $ 01 < ( WITH A GLANCE AT ESTHER ) > $ I 'LL TELEPHONE . $ < ( MOVES TO PHONE . ) > $ 06 NO ... $ NO ... I ASKED MYSELF WHAT IT WAS BUT SHE SAID SHE 'D NOT DI SCUSS IT ON THE PHONE . $ #34 $ < ( PAUSE ) > $ 01 HAS SEAN SAID ANYTHING TO YOU ABOUT BEING IN TROUBLE AT S CHOOL ? $ 02 < ( SHAKES HEAD ) > $ HE SEEMED PERFECTLY HAPPY WHEN HE CAME HOME . $ 01 IT 'S A BIT PECULIAR , ISN'T IT ? $ 02 < ( TO VAL ) > $ DIDN'T SHE GIVE YOU ANY IDEA WHAT IT WAS ABOUT ? $ 06 SHE SAID IT WAS IMPORTANT . $ THAT 'S ALL . $ 01 < ( NOT MOVING ) > $ I SUPPOSE I HAD BETTER GO . $ 02 WE 'D ONLY BE WORRIED ALL NIGHT IF YOU DIDN'T . $ 01 YES ... $ < ( GETS COAT ) > $ I SHAN'T BE LONG . $ 02 I CAN WAIT . $ 01 < ( TO VAL ) > $ COME ON , MAN . $ I 'VE NOT GOT ALL NIGHT TO WASTE . $ < ( THEY GO OUT . ) > $ 02 I HOPE NO ONE 'S BEEN GETTING AT SEAN . $ HE 'S SUCH A SENSITIVE BOY . $ THAT 'S WHEN HE WETS THE BED , WHEN HE 'S UPSET ABOUT SOMETH ING , AND MICK DOESN'T HELP . $ HE MEANS WELL , BUT ... $ ANYWAY , I 'M GLAD THE SECOND HONEYMOON WAS DELAYED ... $ < ( SHE GETS A GLASS OF WATER FROM THE KITCHEN AND THE PILL BOTTLE FROM HER BAG . ) > $ THEY SAY THESE WORK ALL RIGHT IF YOU MISS A DAY BUT I WOULDN 'T LIKE TO RISK IT . $ < ( TAKES PILL . ) > $ IT 'S THE FIRST TIME I 'VE EVER FELT GRATEFUL TO FATHER YEO . $ < ( THE TELEPHONE BELL RINGS . $ ESTHER PUTS THE BOTTLE ON THE MANTELPIECE AND GOES TO ANSWER IT . ) > $ < ( INTO PHONE . ) > $ HULLO ... $ OH YES ... JOYCE , HULLO . $ OH , WHAT ? $ WHEN WAS THIS ? $ SATURDAY ? $ ARE YOU ... $ < ( DOORBELL RINGS ) > $ JUST A MINUTE ... $ < ( ESTHER OPENS THE DOOR . $ BAKER IS ON THE STEP . ) > $ 07 IS THIS THE GOONAHANS ? $ 02 YES ... ER ... $ < ( INTO PHONE ) > $ SORRY ... $ < ( BECKONS BAKER WHO STEPS INSIDE . ) > $ < ( ESTHER SHUTS THE DOOR . ) > $ < ( INTO PHONE . ) > $ LOOK , JOYCE , ARE YOU SURE THAT ... $ < ( STOPS . $ #35 $ LOOKS AT BAKER ) > $ WOULD YOU GO IN THERE . $ YOU 'LL FIND IT WARMER . $ < ( BAKER GOES INTO THE LIVING-ROOM . $ ESTHER RETURNS TO THE PHONE . ) > $ < ( INTO PHONE . ) > $ ARE YOU SURE IT WAS MINNIE HANNIGAN ? $ < ( PAUSE . ) > $ WELL ... NO , OF COURSE NOT ! $ I KNOW SHE 'S GOT A REPUTATION ... $ THEY 'LL JUST HAVE TO GOSSIP , THAT 'S ALL . $ YES ... YES , I KNOW YOU 'VE GOT MY BEST INTERESTS AT HEART , JOYCE ... $ THEN TELL MINNIE HANNIGAN THAT IF SHE TRIES HER TRICKS ON MY HUSBAND I 'LL BE ROUND TO SCRATCH HER EYES OUT ... $ YES , I DO MEAN IT . $ < ( ESTHER PUTS TELEPHONE DOWN AND GOES INTO LIVING-ROOM . ) > $ I 'M SORRY , MR. - $ 07 BAKER . $ 02 MR. BAKER . $ I 'M AFRAID MY HUSBAND 'S OUT . $ 07 THEN I 'LL WAIT TILL HE GETS BACK . $ 02 IS ANYTHING WRONG ? $ 07 WRONG ? $ HE 'S RUINED ME , THAT 'S WHAT . $ I 'M HERE TO FIND OUT WHY I SHOULD GET THE SACK BECAUSE HE ' S BROUGHT UP HIS KID NOT KNOWING THAT A MAN HAS HAIR ON HIS PRIVATES . $ I NEVER KNEW A MAN AS BALD THEREABOUTS . $ < ( PAUSE . ) > $ 02 I THINK I 'LL MAKE A CUP OF TEA . $ < ( ESTHER GOES INTO THE KITCHEN . $ BAKER GLANCES ROUND THE ROOM FOR A MOMENT . $ ESTHER HURRIES BACK . ) > $ IT OCCURRED TO ME THAT YOU MIGHT PREFER COFFEE . $ 07 IF THERE 'S A CHOICE , I 'LL TAKE BEER . $ 02 THERE 'S NOT THAT SORT OF CHOICE . $ 07 I 'M SURPRISED . $ IT 'S A NICE LITTLE LOVE NEST YOU 'VE GOT HERE . $ SMELLS OF MATRIMONY . $ NOT SO LITTLE EITHER . $ 02 I 'VE SEEN YOUR FACE BEFORE SOMEWHERE . $ 07 I 'VE SEEN YOURS . $ 02 I CAN'T PLACE WHERE . $ 07 AT THE SCHOOL - I USED TO DELIVER GREENS FOR SMARTS . $ 02 YOU DON'T ANY MORE ? $ 07 THAT 'S WHY I 'M HERE . $ 02 YES - I 'M DESPERATELY TRYING TO SEE THE CONNECTION . $ 07 I TOLD YOU - HE GOT ME THE SACK . $ #36 $ 02 YOU 'VE BEEN SACKED BECAUSE MY HUSBAND IS A LITTLE - RETI CENT ? $ 07 < ( LAUGHS ) > $ RETICENT ! $ COURSE THERE 'S WAYS OF BEING RETICENT ... $ 02 WHAT DO YOU MEAN ? $ 07 NEVER MIND . $ I 'M NOT HERE WITH MALICE AFORETHOUGHT - ALL I WANT 'S A BIT OF JUSTICE . $ 02 I 'M QUITE SURE MY HUSBAND WOULDN'T WANT YOU TO SUFFER TH ROUGH ANY FAULT OF HIS . $ 07 I 'M GLAD TO HEAR IT . $ 02 BUT HE 'S OUT . $ 07 I CAN WAIT . $ 02 < ( PAUSE . ) > $ WELL YOU MAY AS WELL PASS THE TIME BY TELLING ME WHAT IT 'S ALL ABOUT . $ 07 IT 'S NO JOKE . $ THEY SAY IT WAS BECAUSE IT WAS AGAINST THE RULES - BUT I KNO W WHAT 'S IN THEIR MINDS ... AND IT 'LL BE GETTING AROUND . $ WON'T DO ME ANY GOOD . $ 02 WHAT WAS AGAINST THE RULES ? $ 07 "PEEING" IN THE BOYS' BOGS . $ < ( PAUSE . ) > $ 02 THAT 'S AGAINST THE RULES ? $ 07 SO THEY SAY , BUT THE TRUTH OF IT IS THEIR MINDS ARE TWIS TED . $ ANYTHING HAPPENING IN A LAVATORY MAKES 'EM JUMP TO ALL SORTS OF WRONG CONCLUSIONS . $ 02 THEY WERE WRONG , I SUPPOSE . $ 07 WRONG ? $ OF COURSE THEY WERE WRONG . $ DO I LOOK LIKE ONE OF THEM SORT ? $ ME ? $ I CAN LAY A WOMAN ANY TIME I WANT - YOU ASK THAT PRIEST ... WHASSISNAME ... YEO ... HE 'LL TELL YOU . $ HE 'S ALWAYS ON TO ME ABOUT HIS WOMEN - YOU 'D THINK HE WAS MARRIED TO 'EM . $ 02 ALL THE SAME - WHO SAW WHAT ? $ 07 I WAS STANDING THERE DOING MY BUSINESS WHEN YOUR KID LET OUT A YELL SAYING LOOK AT THE FUNNY MAN WITH HAIR ON HIS WEE -WEE . $ AND BEFORE I COULD TUCK MYSELF AWAY HE HAD ME BY THE SHORT O NES TO SEE IF THEY WAS REAL . $ THAT 'S NO JOKE I CAN TELL YOU . $ THAT HURTS . $ 02 I 'M SORRY - BUT HE OBVIOUSLY MEANT NO HARM . $ 07 I 'M NOT SAYING HE DID - A KID 'S GOT A RIGHT TO BE CURIO US - BUT IF HE HADN'T YELLED OUT LIKE THAT NO ONE 'D KNOWN I WAS THERE . $ #37 $ NO ONE 'D HAVE THOUGHT THOUGHTS AND I 'D STILL HAVE MY JOB . $ SEE ? $ 02 BUT WHY WERE YOU THERE ? $ 07 WHY WAS I THERE ? $ TO USE THE FACILITIES ! $ EVERYBODY 'S GOT WEAKNESSES OF SOME SORT . $ MINE ARE MY BLADDER AND BOOZE - OF ALL THE AILMENTS AN UNKIN D FATE CAN CURSE A MAN WITH , THEM TWO TOGETHER TAKE A BIT O F BEATING . $ IMAGINE IT . $ IF I DON'T TAKE A DROP , I GET PARCHED . $ IF I DO , I GET INCOMMODED ... ESPECIALLY ON A COLD DAY , TH ERE 'S NO SWEAT TO GET RID OF A DROP ON A COLD DAY . $ THE PORES SEIZE UP AND KEEP IT IN YOU . $ AND IT 'S BEEN A COLD DAY . $ NO ONE CAN DENY THAT TODAY 'S BEEN A FREEZER . $ 02 BUT YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO USE THE BOYS' PLACE . $ 07 WHERE ELSE WAS THERE ? $ THAT 'S A LOVELY MODERN SCHOOL IF YOU 'RE A MAID OR A MINOR BUT IF YOU 'RE A FULL-GROWN MAN BUSTING FOR A "PEE" THERE ' S NO PLACE TO RELIEVE YOURSELF . $ NOT A TREE OR A BUSH OR A PRIVATE CORNER . $ SO WHAT 'S A MAN TO DO BUT HEAD FOR THE BOYS' ONE ? $ 02 SURELY THERE 'S A PLACE FOR THE TEACHERS . $ 07 THE TEACHERS IS ALL NUNS . $ < ( PAUSE . ) > $ 02 OH , YES ... $ 07 A POOR LOOKOUT FOR THE KIDS THERE . $ 02 YOU 'RE NOT A CATHOLIC BY THE SOUND OF IT . $ 07 I 'M NOT ! $ THEY KEEP GETTING ME INTO TROUBLE . $ 02 YOU MEAN THEY 'VE GOT YOU SACKED BEFORE ? $ 07 NO - WOMEN TROUBLE . $ I MEAN , LOOK - YOU A CATHOLIC ? $ 02 I 'D RATHER NOT ANSWER THAT . $ 07 SUIT YOURSELF - BUT MOST OF THE WOMEN ROUND HERE ARE . $ SO - YOU LAY THEM - AND THEY DON'T TAKE PRECAUTIONS . $ I GOT SIX MAINTENANCE ORDERS OUT AGAINST ME 'COS IT 'S AGAIN ST THEIR RELIGION TO PUT THE BARRICADES UP . $ 02 I THINK WE 'RE GETTING A LITTLE OFF THE POINT - $ 07 WELL , A MAN DON'T LIVE BY BREAD ALONE , DOES HE ? $ NOR WOMEN EITHER . $ YOU WOULDN'T LIKE TO BE WITHOUT IT , WOULD YOU ? $ 02 MY FUTURE IS NOT UNDER DISCUSSION - $ #38 $ 07 IT 'S YOUR HUSBAND WHO 'S RUINED MINE . $ < ( DOOR BELL RINGS . ) > $ IS THAT HIM ? $ 02 POSSIBLY ... YOU 'D BETTER WAIT HERE . $ < ( ESTHER GOES TO THE FRONT DOOR . $ BAKER WAITS BY THE LIVING-ROOM DOOR . $ HE APPEARS UNCERTAIN . $ LISTENS . $ ESTHER OPENS THE FRONT DOOR . $ JACKY STEPS IN . ) > $ 05 IS MICK IN ? $ 02 NO , HE ... $ 05 GOOD ... COME ON IN , SVENSIG . $ < ( TO ESTHER . ) > $ I THOUGHT YOU 'D LIKE TO MEET HIM . $ 02 LOOK , JACKY , I 'M ... $ < ( SVENSIG COMES IN . ) > $ 05 THIS IS ESTHER , SVEN ... SHE 'S SORT OF MY AUNT-IN-LAW . $ 08 IT IS DELIGHTFUL OF YOU TO HAVE ME HERE . $ 02 HOW DO YOU DO ? $ 05 I THOUGHT WE COULD HAVE A NATTER ... $ < ( SHUTS DOOR . ) > $ 02 YOU 'D BETTER TAKE SVENSIG INTO THE FRONT ROOM . $ 05 HE DOESN'T MIND THE KITCHEN , DO YOU , SVEN ? $ 08 I AM BE DELIGHTFUL TO BE COMING WITH YOU . $ 02 ALL THE SAME I THINK ... $ 05 I 'LL MAKE A CUP OF TEA ... $ < ( MOVES TO THE KITCHEN . ) > $ 02 JUST A MINUTE ... $ 05 HIS SCANDINAVIAN WALLOP MAKES YOU ... $ < ( SHE OPENS THE LIVING-ROOM DOOR AND FINDS BAKER FACING HE R . ) > $ OH ... I DIDN'T KNOW YOU HAD VISITORS . $ 02 WELL NOW YOU DO , YOU CAN TAKE YOUR SWEDISH PAL INTO THE FRONT ROOM . $ 05 < ( HUFFED ) > $ IF YOU 'D SAID ... $ 02 I DIDN'T HAVE MUCH CHANCE . $ 07 SOMEONE KEEPS TALKING ABOUT TEA BUT WHERE IS IT ? $ 02 < ( TO JACKY ) > $ GO ON ... MAKE IT . $ < ( TO SVEN , SHUTTING THE DOOR . ) > $ EXCUSE ME ... $ < ( JACKY GLANCES AT THE TWO AND GOES INTO THE KITCHEN . ) > $ 07 THAT 'S A FAST BIT IF EVER I SAW ONE . $ I 'D SAY A MAN COULD TAKE HER WITHOUT A LOT OF FUSSIN' . $ 02 YOU SEEM TO THINK OF LITTLE ELSE . $ #39 $ 07 YOU 'VE GOT TO HAVE HOBBIES . $ MINE 'S WOMEN . $ THAT 'S WHY I GET OFF WITH THEM . $ YOU 'RE NOT A BAD BIT YOURSELF . $ 02 WELL THIS IS A BIT YOU WON'T BE GETTING OFF WITH . $ I CAN'T STAND CONCEITED MEN . $ 07 I 'M NOT CONCEITED . $ I 'M HONEST . $ COMES FROM IGNORANCE , SO I 'M NOT LOOKING FOR CREDIT . $ 02 YOU 'RE NOT GETTING ANY . $ 07 < ( GRINNING AT HER ) > $ EARLY DAYS . $ 05 < ( COMING FROM THE KITCHEN ) > $ DOES YOU FRIEND COME HERE OFTEN ? $ 02 HE 'S NOT MY FRIEND . $ IT 'S HIS FIRST VISIT AND HIS LAST . $ 05 OH ... I WAS WONDERING WHICH POT TO USE . $ I MEAN HOW MANY CUPS . $ 02 I 'LL DO IT . $ 05 I CAN DO IT . $ 02 TAKE SVENSIG INTO THE FRONT ROOM ... I 'VE A FEW THINGS TO SETTLE WITH MR. BAKER . $ PRIVATELY . $ 05 < ( LOATH TO LEAVE ) > $ WHAT ABOUT THE TEA ? $ 02 < ( TAKING JACKY OUT ) > $ I 'LL BRING IT IN . $ < ( THEY ARE IN THE HALL . $ SVEN IS STILL STANDING . ) > $ < ( SMILING . ) > $ SWITCH ON THE FIRE IF YOU 'RE CHILLY . $ 08 IT IS DELIGHTFUL OF YOU TO HAVE ME . $ 02 < ( OPENING THE DOOR OF THE FRONT ROOM ) > $ I 'LL CALL YOU WHEN I 'VE DONE . $ 08 YOU TO BE FIRST PLEASE . $ 02 I 'M NOT GOING IN . $ YOU GO . $ 08 IT IS DELIGHTFUL OF YOU TO ACCOMMODATE ME . $ 05 < ( GOING IN . $ TO ESTHER ) > $ HAVE FUN . $ < ( SHE SHUTS THE DOOR OF THE FRONT ROOM . $ ESTHER RETURNS TO THE LIVING-ROOM , AND GOES INTO THE KITCHE N . ) > $ 07 SHE THINKS WE 'RE UP TO SOMETHING , EH ? $ 02 I 'M NOT CONCERNED WITH WHAT SHE THINKS . $ 07 < ( CALLING INTO THE KITCHEN ) > $ I LIKE MY TEA ON THE STRONG SIDE ... $ < ( NOISE OF KETTLE BEING BANGED DOWN ) > $ IF IT 'S NO TROUBLE ... $ < ( ANOTHER CLATTER . $ BAKER LAUGHS ) > $ I CAN SEE YOU 'VE GOT A BIT OF SPIRIT IN YOU . $ HOW 'D YOU GET MARRIED TO A MAN WHO 'S ASHAMED OF HISSELF ? $ 02 I BEG YOUR PARDON ? $ #40 $ 07 WELL , LET 'S SAY RETICENT THEN - $ 02 MISTER BAKER , I VERY MUCH DOUBT IF MY HUSBAND WILL BE AB LE TO HELP YOU - $ 07 'COURSE HE WILL ! $ HE CAN BEAR OUT MY STORY , CAN'T HE ? $ HE 'S ONLY GOT TO TELL 'EM HOW HE LOCKS THE DOOR WHEN HE HAS A BATH AND KEEPS YOU AND THE KIDS OUT , AND I 'M CLEARED . $ < ( PAUSE . $ HE LOOKS AT ESTHER . ) > $ THAT 'S RIGHT , ISN'T IT ? $ < ( SEAN COMES DOWN THE STAIRS IN HIS PYJAMAS AND CROSSES TO THE LIVING-ROOM AND ENTERS . ) > $ 03 MUMMY - THERE 'S A MAN IN THE BEDROOM . $ 02 A MAN , DARLING ? $ WHAT KIND OF MAN ? $ 03 A BIG MAN ... $ < ( SEES BAKER ) > $ OH ... $ < ( LOOKS AT HIM SHYLY . ) > $ 07 HULLO ... YOU REMEMBER ME , EH BOYO ? $ 03 HULLO . $ 02 OFF YOU GO , SEAN . $ YOU SHOULD BE ASLEEP . $ 03 BUT THERE 'S A MAN IN THE CUPBOARD . $ 02 THERE 'S NO ONE THERE , DARLING . $ OFF YOU GO . $ 03 I 'M FRIGHTENED OF HIM . $ 02 COME ON THEN , I 'LL TELL HIM TO GO AWAY . $ 03 I WANT HIM TO DO IT . $ < ( LOOKS AT BAKER . ) > $ 02 DON'T BE SILLY , DARLING . $ COME ON . $ < ( SHE STARTS TO PICK HIM UP . ) > $ 03 BUT I WANT HIM TO . $ 02 MR. BAKER 'S TOO BUSY . $ 03 < ( GRABBING THE DOOR AND YELLING AS ESTHER TRIES TO CARR Y HIM OFF ) > $ BUT I WANT HIM TO ... I DON'T WANT YOU ... $ 02 FOR GOODNESS' SAKE ... COME ON . $ 03 I WON'T . $ I DON'T WANT TO . $ < ( HE HANGS GRIMLY ON TO THE DOOR . ) > $ 02 SEAN ! $ 03 HE 'S TOO BIG ... $ 02 YOU 'LL WAKE THE OTHERS ... $ 03 I WANT HIM , NOT YOU ... $ 07 I 'LL TAKE HIM UP IF YOU LIKE . $ < ( PAUSE . ) > $ #41 $ 03 HE 'S IN THE CUPBOARD . $ I SAW HIM . $ 07 IT 'LL SAVE YOU A LOT OF TROUBLE . $ 03 I WANT YOU TO . $ 02 ALL RIGHT . $ < ( TO SEAN . ) > $ WE 'LL ALL GO . $ 03 I WANT HIM TO TELL HIM . $ 02 ALL RIGHT ... ALL RIGHT . $ HE 'LL TELL HIM . $ COME ALONG . $ I 'LL CARRY YOU . $ < ( SHE GOES TO LIFT SEAN . $ HE LOOKS AT BAKER AND SMILES . ) > $ 07 WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO CARRY HIM ? $ 02 NO . $ I 'LL CARRY HIM . $ 07 < ( WITH SOMETHING LIKE A SMILE ) > $ YOU DON'T HAVE TO WORRY - I 'VE FATHERED MORE 'N YOU 'VE MOT HERED . $ COME ON , SON . $ I 'LL TELL THE MAN TO GET OUT OF IT . $ < ( SEAN SMILES . $ THEY GO THROUGH THE HALL TO THE STAIRS . $ JACKY COMES FROM THE FRONT ROOM LOOKING RUMPLED . ) > $ 05 ANYTHING WRONG ? $ 02 IT 'S ONLY SEAN . $ HE WOKE UP . $ 03 SHE HASN'T COMBED HER HAIR . $ 07 WOULDN'T BE HER YOUNG MAN WHO 'S IN THE CUPBOARD ? $ 02 THE TEA 'S MADE IF YOU WANT IT . $ 05 WHAT 'S HE MEAN BY THAT ? $ 02 NOTHING . $ GET YOUR TEA . $ 05 WELL ... YOU KNOW WHAT YOU 'RE DOING , I SUPPOSE . $ < ( JACKY GOES TO THE LIVING-ROOM . ) > $ 03 HE HASN'T GOT A HAT ON . $ 07 HASN'T HE NOW ? $ HE SHOULD HAVE . $ 03 I DON'T THINK SO . $ HE 'S BALD . $ BUT HE 'S GOT GLOVES ON . $ < ( THEY EXIT UP THE STAIRS . $ JACKY POURS OUT TEA IN THE LIVING-ROOM . $ AS SHE RETURNS TO THE FRONT ROOM SVEN COMES OUT . ) > $ 08 THERE IS NO TROUBLE , NO ? $ 05 NO , ONLY ONE OF THE KIDS MAKING A FUSS . $ I 'VE GOT SOME TEA . $ 08 THE ENGLISH STOP EVERYTHING FOR TEA ? $ 05 I THINK WE 'D BETTER BE GOING SOON . $ I THINK WE 'RE IN THE WAY . $ 08 THIS WAY . $ < ( HOLDS OPEN THE DOOR OF THE FRONT ROOM . ) > $ 05 YOU 'VE ONLY ONE IDEA , THAT 'S YOUR TROUBLE . $ 08 IT IS DELIGHTFUL . $ #42 $ < ( THEY GO OFF TO THE FRONT ROOM . $ BAKER AND ESTHER COME DOWN THE STAIRS . ) > $ 07 HE 'LL SLEEP ALL RIGHT . $ THERE 'S NOTHING LIKE A MAN FOR REASSURING A BOY . $ 02 THANK YOU FOR YOUR TROUBLE ANYWAY . $ 07 YOU ' RE A WOMAN WORTH TROUBLING OVER . $ I CAN SEE THAT . $ < ( HE LOOKS AT HER BOLDLY . $ THEY ARE STILL ON THE STAIRS . $ MICK COMES IN THROUGH THE FRONT DOOR . $ HE STOPS ON SEEING THEM ON THE STAIR . $ PAUSE . $ HE SHUTS THE DOOR . ) > $ 01 WHAT 'S THIS THEN ? $ 07 < ( TO ESTHER ) > $ YOU CAN SEE WHAT 'S GOING ON IN HIS HEAD , CAN'T YOU ? $ 02 THIS MAN'S NAME IS BAKER AND ... $ 01 BAKER ? $ ARE YOU THE MAN WHO ... ? $ 07 RINGS A BELL , DOES IT ? $ 01 WHAT THE DEVIL ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE ? $ 07 I WANT A WORD WITH YOU , THAT 'S WHAT . $ 01 GET OUT OR I 'LL CALL THE POLICE . $ 07 THAT 'S HARD . $ I 'LL JUST GET MY HAT FIRST . $ < ( HE CROSSES TO THE LIVING-ROOM . ) > $ YOU 'RE A LUCKY MAN . $ THAT 'S A FINE WOMAN YOU 'VE GOT THERE . $ < ( BAKER GOES INTO THE LIVING-ROOM AND LISTENS AT THE DOOR . ) > $ 01 WHAT IN HEAVEN'S NAME HAS BEEN GOING ON ? $ 02 WAS IT ABOUT HIM AND SEAN THEY WANTED TO SEE YOU ? $ 01 HE 'S TOLD YOU , HAS HE ? $ 02 HE 'S BEEN SACKED FOR IT . $ 01 I KNOW THAT . $ WHAT WAS HE DOING UPSTAIRS ? $ 02 SEAN CAME DOWN CRYING AND INSISTED HE TOOK HIM TO BED . $ 01 < ( INCREDULOUS ) > $ YOU LET HIM TAKE SEAN TO BED ? $ 02 HE WAS SCREAMING THE PLACE DOWN - WHAT ELSE COULD I DO ? $ 01 DO YOU REALISE HE MIGHT BE A PERVERT ? $ 02 HE DOESN'T SEEM THAT KIND OF MAN TO ME - QUITE THE OPPOSI TE . $ 01 WE CAN'T TAKE RISKS . $ IF THERE 'S ANY DOUBT AT ALL ... $ 02 HE OUGHT TO BE GIVEN THE BENIFIT OF IT , SURELY . $ 01 NOT IN A CASE LIKE THIS . $ NOW YOU GO TO BED ... WE 'RE HAVING AN EARLY NIGHT , REMEMBE R ? $ #43 $ 02 BUT I DON'T THINK ... IT 'S FAIR TO HIM . $ 01 THEY HAD TO SACK HIM . $ YOU CAN'T TAKE RISKS WITH CHILDREN . $ 02 HE SAYS IT 'S YOUR FAULT . $ 01 MINE ! $ HOW DOES HE MAKE THAT OUT ? $ 02 HE CAME HERE TO EXPLAIN WHAT REALLY HAPPENED ... $ 01 OH , DID HE ! $ WELL , I 'LL SOON PUT HIM IN HIS PLACE . $ < ( TURNS TO DOOR . ) > $ 02 NO , MICK - DON'T START A ROW WITH HIM - $ 01 BUT I - $ 02 NOT TONIGHT ... $ 01 < ( GETTING THE POINT ) > $ AH , YES ... YOU 'RE RIGHT . $ IT CAN WAIT . $ OFF YOU GO , THEN ... I 'LL SOON GET RID OF HIM . $ < ( ESTHER GOES . $ MICK GOES INTO THE LIVING-ROOM . $ BAKER DARTS FROM THE DOOR TO THE TEA-TRAY . ) > $ < ( GENIALLY . ) > $ AH ... WELL NOW , MR. BAKER ... $ 07 < ( AT TEAPOT ) > $ YOUR WIFE MADE IT FOR ME . $ CAN I POUR YOU A CUP ? $ 01 NO ... NO ... NO THANKS . $ < ( PAUSE . ) > $ DID YOU FIND YOUR HAT ? $ 07 THAT 'S A FUNNY THING . $ WHEN I GOT BACK HERE I REMEMBERED I HADN'T GOT ONE . $ < ( PAUSE . ) > $ 01 AH , I SEE . $ WELL , NOW , MR. BAKER , MY WIFE TELLS ME YOU THINK IT 'S MY FAULT YOU LOST YOUR JOB . $ 02 THAT 'S IT . $ 01 WELL , YOU SEE , THE DECISION HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH ME . $ SISTER THERESA MADE UP HER MIND BEFORE I EVEN HEARD OF THE . .. BEFORE IT HAPPENED . $ 07 BEFORE WHAT HAPPENED ? $ 01 < ( EMBARRASSED ) > $ THERE 'S NO NEED TO GO INTO THAT NOW ... WE ALL KNOW WHAT WE 'RE TALKING ABOUT , DON'T WE ? $ 07 IT 'S NOT ONLY WHAT HAPPENED - IT 'S THE CONSEQUENCES . $ 01 YES , WELL , THEY TELL ME SEAN CAME TO NO HARM , SO - $ 07 I DID THO' , DIDN'T I ? $ AND I WANT TO GET THE RECORD STRAIGHT ... THAT 'S WHAT I 'M HERE FOR ... TO GET THINGS STRAIGHTENED OUT . $ #44 $ 01 AH , WELL ... THAT 'S PERFECTLY UNDERSTANDABLE ... BUT I 'VE NO TIME NOW . $ 07 I HAVE . $ 01 COME BACK TOMORROW AND WE 'LL TALK IT OVER ... $ 07 I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT NOW . $ 01 BUT I 'VE A LOT OF WORK TO DO ... VERY URGENT . $ 07 OH , HAVE YOU ? $ WHAT SORT OF WORK ? $ 01 PAPER WORK ... FROM THE OFFICE ... $ 07 THAT 'S NOT WHAT I HEARD . $ 01 EH ? $ 07 I WAS LISTENING AT THE DOOR . $ 01 LISTENING AT THE DOOR ! $ 07 YOU TOLD YOUR WIFE YOU 'D GET RID OF ME QUICK ... I HEARD EVERY WORD YOU SAID . $ 01 < ( INDIGNANTLY ) > $ THAT 'S A QUEER WAY TO BEHAVE IN SOMEONE ELSE'S HOUSE ! $ 07 THERE 'S NOTHING QUEER ABOUT ME , MATE . $ 01 YOU OUGHT TO BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF ! $ 07 THAT 'S YOUR DEPARTMENT , AIN'T IT ? $ 01 WHAT ? $ 07 IF YOU WEREN'T ASHAMED OF YOURSELF , I WOULDN'T BE IN THI S MESS . $ 01 WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT ? $ 07 YOUR BODY PARTS ! $ 01 MY BODY PARTS ... WHAT IN GOD'S NAME ARE YOU TALKING ABOU T ? $ 07 I 'M NOT HAVING MYSELF IN STOOK BECAUSE YOUR KIDS NEVER G ET A GLIMPSE OF YOUR DINGLE DANGLE ! $ 01 ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND ? $ 07 YOU WANT TO GROW UP - THIS IS THE PERMISSIVE SOCIETY WE ' RE LIVING IN ... $ 01 NOT IN THIS HOUSE WE 'RE NOT . $ 07 YOU CAN SAY THAT AGAIN . $ 01 I 'VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOU . $ GET OUT . $ < ( HE GOES TO THE DOOR AND OPENS IT . ) > $ 07 I THINK I 'LL HAVE ANOTHER CUP OF TEA FIRST . $ 01 NO , YOU WILL NOT ! $ 07 LOOK , MATE - YOU GOT ME SACKED . $ BY KEEPING YOUR SON IGNORANT , YOU GOT ME SACKED ! $ #45 $ 01 NOTHING OF THE SORT . $ YOU WERE SACKED FOR BREAKING THE SCHOOL RULES . $ 07 THEY NEVER TOLD ME THE RULES ! $ I DIDN'T KNOW I COULDN'T USE THE BOYS' BOG . $ 01 ANYBODY KNOWS YOU CAN'T JUST HELP YOURSELF TO OTHER PEOPL E'S CONVENIENCES - $ 07 GAWD STUFF ME - I HAD TO "PEE" , DIDN'T I ? $ YOU WANT ME TO BUST MESELF ? $ IT WAS AN EMERGENCY ! $ I HAD TO GO QUICK . $ 01 THEN YOU SHOULD HAVE ASKED SISTER THERESA'S PERMISSION . $ 07 HOW COULD I - SHE WAS CONDUCTING THE MORNING SERVICE . $ I HARDLY HAD TIME TO GET IT OUT - LET ALONE STICK MY HEAD RO UND THE VESTRY DOOR AND ASK FOR A PEE ! $ 01 AT YOUR AGE YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO HOLD YOURSELF IN . $ 07 < ( MORE ANNOYED ) > $ I GOT A WEAK BLADDER ... HOW CAN YOU HOLD YOURSELF IN WITH A WEAK BLADDER ? $ 01 THAT 'S NO CONCERN OF MINE ... $ 07 NO - YOU 'VE PROBABLY GOT A STRONG ONE ... YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT IT 'S LIKE FOR BLOKES LIKE ME - $ 01 I DON'T CARE - $ 07 HALF A PINT MY BLADDER HOLDS - THAT 'S ALL - LESS ON A CO LD DAY - ONE CUP OF TEA - HALF A CUP IF IT 'S REALLY COLD - $ 01 < ( LOUD ) > $ I 'M NOT INTERESTED IN YOUR BLADDER ! $ < ( ESTHER STARTS TO COME DOWNSTAIRS . ) > $ 07 THAT 'S NOT A VERY CHRISTIAN ATTITUDE - $ 01 < ( LOUDLY ) > $ WILL YOU GET OUT OF MY HOUSE ! $ 02 FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE STOP SHOUTING , YOU 'LL WAKE THE CHILDR EN . $ 07 < ( LOOKING AT ESTHER APPRECIATIVELY ) > $ READY FOR BED I SEE . $ CAN I POUR YOU A CUP ? $ 01 NO , YOU CANNOT . $ COME ON , OUT ! $ 07 NOW LOOK ... NOW WAIT A MINUTE ... $ 01 < ( ADVANCING ) > $ IF YOU DON'T GET OUT , I 'LL THROW YOU OUT . $ 07 WATCH IT ! $ I COULD EAT YOU , MATE ... $ 01 VERY WELL , I 'LL GET THE POLICE ... $ 07 < ( CALLING AFTER HIM ) > $ LOOK - I 'VE LOST MY BLEEDIN' JOB ! $ #46 $ I GOT TO LIVE , 'EN I ? $ 01 IT 'S NO CONCERN OF MINE . $ 07 RIGHT . $ < ( SITS ) > $ I 'M STOPPING HERE TILL YOU CHANGE YOUR MIND . $ 01 I 'M NOT GOING TO CHANGE MY MIND . $ 07 THEN YOU GOT A PERMANENT LODGER . $ < ( MICK TURNS HELPLESSLY TO ESTHER . ) > $ 01 WE CAN'T HAVE HIM HERE ALL NIGHT . $ 02 IS THERE ANYTHING AT THE FACTORY ? $ 01 WHY SHOULD I HELP HIM TO GET A JOB ? $ 02 < ( QUIETLY ) > $ HE MIGHT GO , AND THEN WE COULD ... $ 01 AH YES ... AH ... BUT I 'M IN SALES ... THERE 'S NOTHING THERE . $ 02 YOU KNOW MEADOWS QUITE WELL ... $ 01 THAT 'S A FACT ... YES , I DO ... YOU 'VE GOT A POINT THE RE . $ < ( TO BAKER . ) > $ I CAN'T PROMISE FOR SURE , BUT IF YOU GET OFF NOW AND COME D OWN TO MARTINS ELECTRIC TOMORROW I 'LL SEE IF I CAN FIX SOME THING UP FOR YOU . $ 07 I DON'T WANT ANOTHER JOB . $ IT 'S GOT TO BE THIS ONE OR NOTHING . $ 02 I DON'T QUITE SEE WHAT 'S SO SPECIAL ABOUT IT . $ 07 LOOK , USE YOUR NUT . $ WHAT 'S GOING TO HAPPEN WHEN IT GETS OUT I 'VE BEEN SACKED ' COS THE NUNS RECKONED I WAS FIDDLING ABOUT WITH LITTLE BOYS ? $ I 'LL NEVER GET ANOTHER WOMAN TO LOOK AT ME , THAT 'S WHAT . $ I 'M RUINED ! $ I 'VE GOT TO GET THE JOB BACK TO KEEP ME GOING WITH THE BIRD S . $ 01 GOOD GOD , IF THAT 'S ALL YOU 'RE WORRIED ABOUT - $ 07 IT 'S ENOUGH , ENT IT ? $ OR WOULDN'T IT BOTHER YOU TO LIVE LIKE A MONK FOR THE REST O F YOUR LIFE ? $ 01 I DON'T MAKE A HABIT OF SEDUCING WOMEN , IF THAT 'S WHAT YOU MEAN . $ < ( TO ESTHER . ) > $ THE MAN 'S OBVIOUSLY A MENACE - $ 07 < ( FURIOUS ) > $ DON'T YOU CALL ME A MENACE , MATE ! $ I DON'T SEDUCE NO ONE . $ ANYTHING I DO WITH A WOMAN 'S A FREE CONTRACT , FREELY ARRIV ED AT BY BOTH PARTIES - $ 01 A DAMNED SIGHT TOO FREELY AS FAR AS I CAN SEE - $ 02 MICK , PLEASE ... $ I THINK YOU 'D BETTER GO , MR. BAKER . $ 07 I HATE SAYING NO TO A LADY - BUT NO . $ I 'M HERE TILL HE CLEARS ME ABOUT THE BOY . $ #47 $ 01 THERE 'S NOTHING I CAN DO ABOUT THAT . $ 07 THERE 'S PLENTY YOU CAN DO , MATE - $ 02 I REALLY DON'T SEE HOW MY HUSBAND CAN HELP YOU - $ 07 IT 'S OBVIOUS , ENT IT ? $ I 'VE GOT TO PROVE MY STORY 'S TRUE . $ THEY SAY I WAS AFTER THE LAD - BUT THE LAD GRABBED HOLD OF M E , SO HE 'S GOT TO TELL 'EM . $ < ( POINTING AT MICK . ) > $ 01 I 'LL DO NOTHING OF THE KIND ! $ 02 WHY DON'T YOU TELL THEM , MR. BAKER ? $ 07 CAN YOU SEE ME EXPLAINING A THING LIKE THAT TO A CROWD OF NUNS ? $ THEY 'D NEVER BELIEVE ME . $ 01 I DON'T BELIEVE YOU MYSELF . $ 07 < ( TO ESTHER ) > $ THERE YOU ARE - AND HE 'S NEAR ENOUGH A NUN . $ 01 IT 'S ALL A PACK OF LIES ! $ 07 USE YOUR LOAF , MATE - WHAT WOULD I GO AFTER YOUR BOY FOR ? $ DO I LOOK LIKE ONE OF THOSE ? $ 02 I DON'T THINK HE 'S ONE OF THOSE , MICK ... $ 01 < ( BEWILDERED ) > $ BUT WHY SHOULD MY SON - DO - A THING LIKE THAT ? $ 07 CURIOSITY , MATE . $ HE 'D NEVER SEEN HAIR DOWN THERE BEFORE . $ HE WANTED TO FIND OUT IF IT WAS REAL . $ 01 < ( SHAKEN ) > $ HOLY MARY ... $ 07 SO ALL YOU 'VE GOT TO DO IS GO AND EXPLAIN TO THE MOTHER SUPERIOR ABOUT THE BATHROOM AND THAT AND HOW YOU 'RE SENSITI VE ABOUT LETTING HIM HAVE A LOOK AND THEY 'LL UNDERSTAND THE WHOLE SITUATION . $ 02 IT DOES SEEM REASONABLE , MICK ... $ 01 I 'LL DO NO SUCH THING ! $ 07 THEN I 'LL JUST HAVE TO HANG ON 'TIL YOU CHANGE YOUR MIND , WON'T I ? $ 01 NO , YOU WILL NOT ! $ < ( PHONE RINGS . ) > $ < ( TO ESTHER . ) > $ GET IT , WILL YOU ? $ MY HEAD 'S GOING ROUND . $ 02 THERE 'S SOME ASPIRIN ON THE SHELF . $ < ( ESTHER GOES OUT . ) > $ 01 < ( TO BAKER ) > $ HERE ... I 'LL GIVE YOU 5 POUNDS TO HELP YOU OUT . $ 07 NO . $ 01 EIGHT POUNDS . $ IT 'S ALL I 'VE GOT ON ME . $ #48 $ 07 I WANT MY JOB BACK . $ 01 THAT 'S IMPOSSIBLE . $ COME BACK TOMORROW AND I 'LL SEE IF I CAN FIX YOU UP SOMEWHE RE ELSE . $ 07 WHY SOMEWHERE ELSE ? $ 01 LOOK ... I HAVEN'T TIME TO DISCUSS IT NOW . $ 07 WHY NOT ? $ 01 I WANT TO GO TO BED . $ < ( DURING THE ABOVE ESTHER ANSWERS THE PHONE . $ DIALOGUE TIMED TO CROSS . ) > $ 02 < ( INTO PHONE ) > $ YES ... YES ... HE 'S NOT HERE ... WELL ... YES ... I 'LL TE LL HIM . $ < ( ESTHER GOES BACK TO THE LIVING-ROOM . ) > $ 07 < ( TO ESTHER ) > $ HE WANTS TO GO TO BED NOW . $ 02 IT 'S HIS HOUSE . $ 07 IT 'S NOT NINE O'CLOCK YET . $ 01 < ( LOUDLY ) > $ I 'M TIRED . $ 07 < ( TO ESTHER ) > $ HE TRIED TO BRIBE ME . $ THAT 'S AN ADMISSION OF GUILT . $ 01 I WAS NOT BRIBING YOU . $ I JUST WANTED TO GET RID OF YOU . $ 07 SO YOU CAN GO TO BED ? $ 01 EXACTLY . $ 07 < ( TO ESTHER ) > $ IT 'S A GREAT COMPLIMENT TO A WIFE WHEN A HUSBAND 'S WILLING TO PART WITH EIGHT QUID TO GET TO BED WITH HER . $ 01 I 'M GOING TO HIT YOU - I 'M GOING TO HIT YOU SO HARD . $ < ( HE GRABS BAKER BY THE FRONT OF HIS COAT . $ ESTHER TRIES TO STOP HIM . ) > $ 02 MICK , DON'T BE ... $ 01 < ( ABOVE HER ) > $ SO HARD YOU 'LL HAVE TO BE CARRIED OUT . $ 07 THEN DROP ME OFF AT MINNIE HANNIGAN'S . $ SHE 'S A GREAT FRIEND OF MINE . $ < ( MICK STOPS . $ DOORBELL RINGS . ) > $ 01 I 'LL GET IT . $ < ( HE GOES OUT QUICKLY . $ HESITATES . $ LISTENS AT SITTING-ROOM DOOR . ) > $ 02 WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT MINNIE HANNIGAN ? $ 07 A LOT OF MEN KNOW MINNIE . $ A LOT OF WIVES TOO . $ < ( DOORBELL . ) > $ #49 $ CAN I USE YOUR BOG ? $ 02 WHAT ? $ 07 YOU KNOW ... THE WHATSIT ... $ 02 THERE 'S ONE BY THE BACK DOOR . $ < ( DOORBELL . ) > $ WHY DID YOU MENTION MINNIE HANNIGAN ? $ 07 A GREAT CONSOLER IS MINNIE . $ KNOWS HOW TO LOOK AFTER A MAN . $ < ( CALLS . ) > $ IT 'S NOT THAT FAR TO THE FRONT DOOR , IS IT ? $ BACK IN A MINUTE . $ < ( BAKER GOES OFF . $ MICK OPENS FRONT DOOR . $ YEO ENTERS . ) > $ 06 AH . $ NOT DISTURBING YOU , AM I ? $ 01 THAT MAN 'S HERE . $ BAKER . $ 06 HERE ? $ 01 I CAN'T GET RID OF HIM ... SOMETHING ABOUT HIS JOB . $ WILL YOU SEE WHAT YOU CAN DO ? $ 06 I 'LL TRY ... $ < ( YEO AND MICK GO INTO SITTING-ROOM . ) > $ 02 I THOUGHT YOU WERE GOING HOME . $ 01 WHERE 'S BAKER ? $ 02 HE 'S OUT THE BACK . $ < ( TO YEO . ) > $ DID MICK ASK YOU HERE ? $ 01 WHAT 'S HE DOING OUT THERE ? $ 02 USING THE LAVATORY . $ 01 USING OURS NOW ! $ IS HE AN ADDICT ? $ < ( TO YEO . ) > $ THE MAN 'S GOT NO SHAME . $ 06 THAT 'S A FACT - HE HASN'T . $ 02 WHAT 'S SHAMING ABOUT IT ? $ HE HAD TO GO , HE 'S GOT A WEAK BLADDER . $ 01 DON'T YOU START THAT , PLEASE . $ I 'VE HAD ENOUGH OF IT FROM HIM . $ 06 HE 'S A BAD LOT , ESTHER . $ WELL KNOWN IN THE DISTRICT . $ YOU DON'T WANT HIM HANGING ROUND THE HOUSE . $ 02 WE DON'T WANT ANYONE HANGING ROUND THE HOUSE . $ DO WE , MICK ? $ 01 VAL 'S GOING TO GIVE ME A HAND TO THROW HIM OUT . $ 06 WELL , I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THAT ... $ 01 WE 'D HAVE A BETTER CHANCE WITH THE TWO OF US - $ 06 IT WOULDN'T DO , MICK . $ I 'VE ME CLOTH TO THINK OF . $ 02 WHAT DID YOU COME BACK FOR ANYWAY ? $ #50 $ 06 WELL ER ... $ 01 HE OUGHT TO BE OUT OF THERE BY NOW - COULD YOU KNOCK ON T HE DOOR OR SOMETHING - $ 02 NEVER MIND ABOUT BAKER . $ 01 WE DON'T KNOW WHAT HE MIGHT BE UP TO - GO ON , VAL - $ < ( BAKER ENTERS , SEES YEO . ) > $ 07 I SHOULDN'T HAVE HAD THAT SECOND CUP OF TEA YOU KNOW ... $ OH COR BLIMEY , IT 'S THE RABBI HISSELF ! $ IF YOU 'VE COME ROUND FOR EVENING PRAYERS YOU CAN COUNT ME O UT . $ 06 A FEW PRAYERS WOULD DO YOU NO HARM EITHER . $ 07 DID YOU HAVE A GOOD MASS TODAY ? $ WAS THE COLLECTION PROFITABLE ? $ 06 WHY ARE YOU BOTHERING MR. GOONAHAN ? $ 07 THAT 'S MY BUSINESS - MATE . $ 06 BE OF WITH YOU . $ THEY DON'T WANT YOU HERE . $ 07 NOR YOU NEITHER . $ THEY 'RE ANXIOUS FOR BED . $ AT LEAST HE IS . $ EIGHT QUID HE OFFERED ME ... $ 01 SHUT UP ! $ 07 YOU KNOW I 'M SORRY FOR YOU BETWEEN THEM TWO . $ 06 ARE YOU GOING TO LEAVE THIS HOUSE ? $ 07 NO , MATE . $ NOT FOR YOU , NOT FOR HIM , NOT FOR NOBODY . $ 06 < ( CALMLY ) > $ THEN I SHALL RING THE COURT BAILIFF . $ THERE WAS A WARRANT ISSUED FOR YOUR ARREST THIS MORNING . $ 07 AH ... WELL ... THAT 'S DIFFERENT ... I THINK I FEEL A TH IRST COMING ON . $ PRIESTS ALWAYS DRIVE ME TO DRINK . $ < ( BAKER RUNS TO DOOR . ) > $ 06 THEN BE OFF WITH YOU . $ AND TRY TO PUT YOUR MIND TO HIGHER THINGS . $ 07 < ( GOING ) > $ I DO ! $ EVERY TIME I SEE A MINI-SKIRT . $ < ( BAKER EXITS . $ SLAMS FRONT DOOR . $ RUNS INTO FRONT ROOM . $ MICK LOOKS OUT OF LIVING-ROOM DOOR . $ CLOSES IT . ) > $ 06 HAS HE GONE ? $ 01 HE 'S GONE . $ THANK GOD . $ < ( BAKER EMERGES FROM FRONT ROOM . $ LISTENS AT LIVING-ROOM DOOR . ) > $ THAT WAS A LUCKY STROKE ABOUT THE BAILIFF . $ 06 GOD FORGIVE ME IT WAS A LIE . $ BUT THEY 'RE AFTER HIM SO OFTEN FOR NOT PAYING MAINTENANCE T O THE POOR WOMEN HE 'S HAD IN TROUBLE THAT I KNEW HE 'D BELI EVE ME . $ #51 $ 02 WELL , HE 'S GONE NOW . $ SO SHOW VAL OUT , MICK , THEN WE CAN GET TO BED . $ < ( BAKER GOES UPSTAIRS . ) > $ 06 AREN'T YOU GOING TO EAT ? $ 02 IT 'S BREAKFAST . $ SAVES TIME IN THE MORNING . $ 01 WE WERE HAVING AN EARLY NIGHT FOR ONCE . $ 06 AH , YES ... $ 02 YOUR MOTHER RANG UP . $ SHE SAYS THE MEAL WILL BE RUINED . $ 06 THINGS KEEP TURNING UP . $ I 'VE HAD NO CHANCE TO GET HOME . $ 02 WELL ,DON'T LET US KEEP YOU . $ 01 YOU MUST BE STARVING - YOU 'D BETTER GET OFF NOW . $ 06 THERE 'S THE MATTER OF DECLAN'S CONFIRMATION . $ I 'D LIKE TO GET THAT SETTLED . $ 02 VAL ! $ MICK AND I WANT TO GO TO BED . $ SO WILL YOU PLEASE GO . $ 01 IT 'S MY BUSY DAY TOMORROW . $ 06 IF YOU DON'T MIND - BEFORE YOU GO TO BED - I 'D LIKE A WO RD WITH ESTHER ... PRIVATELY . $ < CURTAIN > $ #52 $ < ACT TWO > $ < CURTAIN RISES TO REVEAL EVERYONE DOWNSTAIRS IN THE SAME PO SITION . > $ 01 A WORD WITH ESTHER ? $ 06 YES . $ 01 < ( PAUSE ) > $ WELL , I 'LL HAVE A BATH . $ IS THE WATER HOT ? $ 02 AS FAR AS I KNOW . $ 01 THEN I 'LL LEAVE YOU TOGETHER . $ < ( AT DOOR . ) > $ THE SHERRY 'S ON THE TABLE IF YOU WANT A DRINK . $ < ( MICK GOES OFF UPSTAIRS . $ PAUSE . $ ESTHER CONTINUES TO LAY THE TABLE . ) > $ 06 I 'M SORRY BAKER CAME TO BOTHER YOU . $ 02 I RATHER LIKE HIM . $ HE 'S HONEST . $ 06 YOU 'D HAVE A JOB CONVINCING SOME OF THE WOMEN AROUND HER E OF THAT . $ 02 I MEAN WITH HIMSELF . $ IT 'S HARDER TO BE HONEST WITH YOURSELF THAN WITH OTHER PEOP LE . $ THERE 'S NOTHING DEVIOUS ABOUT BAKER . $ 06 I FEEL YOU 'RE DIGGING AT ME . $ 02 HE DOESN'T HAVE MUCH TROUBLE DEFINING HIS ETHICS . $ HE JUST TALKS . $ 06 THERE ARE AT LEAST SIX ILLEGITIMATE CHILDREN IN THE PARIS H READY TO CONTRADICT YOU . $ 02 TO HIM THAT 'S ETHICAL , AND ANYWAY IT TAKES TWO TO MAKE A BABY . $ 06 I BELIEVE GOD HAS A HAND IN IT TOO . $ AN IMPORTANT ONE . $ 02 DID HE HELP PRODUCE BAKER'S BROOD TO PUNISH OR BLESS THE ILLEGITIMATE UNION ? $ 06 HE DOES NOT INTERFERE WITH NATURAL LAW . $ HIS PART IS IN THE GIFTS HE HAS GIVEN THE CHILDREN , WHICH T HEY CAN USE OR NEGLECT ACCORDING TO FREE WILL WITH WHICH HE HAS ENDOWED MANKIND . $ #53 $ 02 AND WHICH THEY ARE PROBABLY EXERCISING TO THE FULL IN THE CATHOLIC SLUMS AROUND FREER STREET . $ 06 THE SLUMS ARE MAN-MADE . $ 02 I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN GOD 'D GET OUT OF IT SOMEHOW . $ 06 ESTHER , WHEN YOU MARRIED MICK YOU ENTERED THE CHURCH . $ REMEMBER THAT . $ 02 WHEN I MARRIED MICK I WAS A LOVESICK MAIDEN READY TO COMM IT HARA-KIRI TO PASS THE GOLDEN GATE OF MATRIMONY . $ $ NOW I 'M A WORK-WORN MOTHER WITH A HANDFUL OF KIDS . $ IT 'S A MATTER OF CIRCUMSTANCE . $ < ( SHE PUTS OUT PLATES . ) > $ 06 YOU NO LONGER THINK OF YOURSELF AS A CHRISTIAN , AS A CAT HOLIC ? $ 02 I NEVER HAVE . $ < ( SHE WRITES OUT HER SHOPPING LIST . ) > $ TO ME IT 'S ALL A LOT OF MUMBO JUMBO . $ BUT I 'VE DONE IT TO KEEP MICK HAPPY . $ IT MEANS A LOT TO HIM . $ 06 THEN YOU HAVE DECEIVED HIM . $ 02 NO MORE THAN MOST WIVES DECEIVE THEIR HUSBANDS TO MAKE MA RRIAGE WORK . $ INDULGING HIS RELIGION IS NO WORSE THAN PANDERING TO HIS OTH ER WHIMS . $ COSSETING HIS EGO , MAKING HIM BELIEVE YOU 'RE STILL GLAD YO U MARRIED HIM . $ 06 AREN'T YOU ? $ 02 < ( WRITING NOTE ) > $ I AM MARRIED TO HIM . $ WE 'VE CHILDREN . $ I MAY AS WELL BE AS GLAD AS I CAN . $ < ( TEARING OFF LIST . ) > $ THE WEEKEND SHOPPING . $ FOURTEEN MEALS . $ I EXPECT YOUR HOUSEKEEPER SEES TO THIS SORT OF THING . $ < ( ESTHER PUTS LIST ON MANTELPIECE . $ YEO SITS SAYING NOTHING . ) > $ YOUR MOTHER SOUNDED RATHER TESTY . $ I SHOULD GO HOME TO SUPPER . $ 06 WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO JUSTIFY , ESTHER ? $ 02 JUSTIFY ? $ NOTHING . $ 06 THEN WHY ARE YOU TELLING ME THIS ? $ 02 I DON'T KNOW - PROBABLY BECAUSE I 'M IRRITATED TO DEATH B Y YOUR SELF-RIGHTEOUSNESS . $ 06 OR YOUR SENSE OF GUILT . $ 02 AT WHAT ? $ 06 YOU WANT THE TRUTH ? $ #54 $ 02 I DIDN'T THINK YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO DEAL IN ANYTHING ELSE . $ 06 THE COINCIDENCE BETWEEN YOUR VISIT TO FREER STREET AND YO UR RETURN TO NUPTIAL DUTY IS TOO GREAT TO BE EXPLAINED ANY O THER WAY . $ 02 I WASN'T AWARE THAT IT HAD TO BE EXPLAINED . $ 06 I CAN'T ALLOW YOU TO DO IT , ESTHER . $ 02 IS THAT WHY YOU CAME BACK HERE ? $ TO STOP MICK AND ME MAKING LOVE TONIGHT ? $ 06 IT MAY SEEM OF NO IMPORTANCE TO YOU , ESTHER , BUT ... $ 02 WHAT IS OF IMPORTANCE TO ME IS MY PRIVATE LIFE . $ PRIVATE - BETWEEN MICK AND ME . $ I 'D BE GLAD IF YOU 'D REMEMBER THAT . $ 06 THERE IS NOTHING PRIVATE FROM GOD . $ 02 DID HE COME DOWN AND TELL YOU THAT MR. AND MRS. GOONAHAN WERE BREAKING THEIR FAST TONIGHT ? $ 06 I BEG YOU , ESTHER - DO NOT LEAD MICK INTO TEMPTATION OF MORTAL SIN . $ 02 I DON'T THINK IT IS A SIN . $ 06 BUT HE DOES . $ 02 IGNORANCE IS BLISS . $ IF I KEEP HIM IN IGNORANCE I 'M SURE HIS GOD WON'T KEEP HIM OUT OF HEAVEN . $ 06 YOU MEAN YOU 'RE NOT GOING TO TELL HIM ? $ 02 < ( COOLLY ) > $ TELL HIM WHAT ? $ 06 WHAT ? $ WHAT WE ARE TALKING ABOUT . $ THAT YOU INTEND TO USE SOME MECHANICAL MEANS OF CONTRACEPTIO N . $ 02 I NEVER SAID I WAS . $ 06 COME NOW , ESTHER , WHO IS BEING DEVIOUS NOW ? $ 02 YOUR SUPPER WILL BE RUINED . $ 06 I 'M SURE YOU WILL NOT BE SO DISHONEST AS TO LEAD MICK IN TO SPIRITUAL JEOPARDY . $ 02 WELL I WISH THE CHURCH WOULD EXPLAIN TO ME , JUST ONCE , EXACTLY WHAT HARM THERE IS IN IT . $ 06 IT IS FRUSTRATING THE WILL OF GOD . $ 02 AND HOW DO WE KNOW WHAT THAT IS ? $ DID HE SEND A TELEGRAM TO THE POPE ? $ I MEAN , I 'M NOT PREGNANT AT THE MOMENT BECAUSE I HAVEN'T S LEPT WITH MICK FOR TEN MONTHS . $ IS THAT GOD'S WILL OR MINE ? $ #55 $ 06 WE HAVE TO HAVE FAITH THAT WHAT THE CHURCH TEACHES IS RIG HT . $ 02 WHICH LEAVES YOU WITH THE CHOISE OF DECIDING WHETHER TO A CT AS A FRIEND AND KEEP QUIET OR LIKE A PRIEST AND PONTIFICA TE . $ 06 IT 'S HARD IF YOU PUT IT THAT WAY , ESTHER . $ BUT I HAVE TO THINK OF YOUR SOULS . $ IT IS MY DUTY . $ 02 GOOD . $ MICK WILL BE DELIGHTED - AS NO DOUBT MRS. HALE WILL BE - TO KNOW THAT HER TITTLE-TATTLE HAS SAVED HIS SOUL AND RUINED HI S MARRIAGE . $ $ AND I MEAN RUINED FOR IF HE LISTENS TO YOUR GOSSIP AND STAYS OUT OF MY BED I 'LL LEAVE HIM FOR KEEPS . $ < ( ESTHER GOES INTO THE KITCHEN . $ YEO SITS WORRIED . $ SVEN AND JACKY COME FROM THE FRONT ROOM . ) > $ 05 < ( TEARFULLY ) > $ IT 'S UP THERE . $ < ( POINTS UP THE STAIRS . ) > $ 08 < ( SMILING POLITELY ) > $ EXCUSE ME . $ < ( SVEN GOES UP THE STAIRS AS MICK COMES DOWN . $ BOTH STOP . $ SVEN BOWS . ) > $ EXCUSE ME . $ < ( HE GOES PAST MICK AND OFF UPSTAIRS . $ MICK IN DRESSING-GOWN , STARES AFTER HIM . $ HE LOOKS DOWN AND SEES JACKY . ) > $ 01 WHO THE DEVIL 'S THAT ? $ 05 HE 'S MY BOY-FRIEND . $ 01 < ( COMING DOWN ) > $ OH , IS HE ... $ 05 < ( DEFIANTLY AS IF EXPECTING A FIGHT ) > $ YES HE IS . $ 01 < ( LOOKING AT WATCH ) > $ I 'M GLAD TO SEE HE 'S DECENT ENOUGH TO BRING YOU HOME EARLY . $ 05 WE MIGHT BE GOING OUT AGAIN . $ 01 DON'T BE SILLY - STAYING OUT LATE WILL ONLY GET YOU INTO TROUBLE . $ < ( JACKY GOES UP THE STAIRS . ) > $ WHERE ARE YOU GOING ? $ 05 TO BED . $ < ( SHE RUSHES PAST SVEN WHO REAPPEARS AND COMES DOWN . ) > $ 01 YOU HAD A TIFF OR SOMETHING ? $ 08 THESE GIRLS ... THEY ARE LIKE THAT . $ 01 WELL YOU CAN MAKE IT UP TOMORROW . $ 08 IT IS DELIGHTFUL OF YOU . $ #56 $ < ( HE SHAKES MICK BY THE HAND . ) > $ 01 ARE YOU A CATHOLIC ? $ 08 YA . $ IN EVERYTHING . $ GOOD NIGHT . $ < ( SVEN GOES VIA THE FRONT DOOR . $ MICK CLOSES THE DOOR . $ GOES TO LIVING-ROOM . $ ESTHER IS STILL IN THE KITCHEN . $ YEO IS SITTING . ) > $ 01 FINISHED YOUR CHAT ? $ 06 MICK . $ < ( HE GETS UP AND MOVES AWAY . ) > $ 01 YES . $ 06 DO YOU HAVE AN ASPIRIN ? $ 01 THERE 'S SOME SOMEWHERE . $ HERE . $ < ( GIVES HIM ONE FROM BOTTLE ON SHELF . ) > $ 06 I 'LL TAKE TWO . $ 01 IS IT A HEADACHE ? $ 06 IT IS . $ < ( TAKES PILLS . ) > $ < ( MICKS PUTS THEM BACK . ) > $ WE 'VE BEEN FRIENDS SINCE WE WERE BOYS - BEFORE I HAD THE CA LL TO SERVE GOD . $ WE TRUSTED EACH OTHER IN KILBRIDE - I HOPE YOU TRUST ME STIL L . $ 01 OF COURSE I TRUST YOU ... YOU KNOW I 'D DO MORE FOR YOU T HAN ANY MAN LIVING . $ 06 THEN I WANT YOU TO LET ME STAY THE NIGHT HERE ... $ 01 WHAT ? $ YOU MEAN SLEEP HERE ? $ 06 I WON'T SLEEP . $ I INTEND TO PASS THE NIGHT IN MEDITATION . $ 01 ALL NIGHT ? $ 06 YES . $ 01 BUT WHAT FOR ? $ 06 I 'VE A GREAT TROUBLE TO GRAPPLE WITH - WILL YOU HELP ME WITH IT ? $ 01 OF COURSE , IF I CAN . $ WHAT CAN I DO ? $ 06 YOU CAN STAY UP WITH ME . $ 01 STAY WITH YOU ? $ 06 THAT 'S IT . $ 01 ALL NIGHT ? $ < ( YEO NODS . ) > $ NOT GO TO BED ? $ 06 NOT GO TO BED . $ 01 BUT VAL ... YOU SEE I WAS ... I WAS HAVING AN EARLY NIGHT . $ #57 $ 06 I KNOW IT 'S A GREAT SACRIFICE BUT WHEN A SOUL 'S IN JEOP ARDY NOTHING IS TOO MUCH TO ASK OF A FRIEND . $ 01 BUT WHOSE SOUL IS IT ? $ 06 ONE DEAR TO US BOTH ... I CAN SAY NO MORE NOW ... BUT WIL L YOU JOIN ME IN MEDITATION AND PRAYER TO SAVE IT ? $ 01 IT 'S A BIT SUDDEN . $ 06 IT 'S EMERGENCY TREATMENT ... A MATTER OF GAINING TIME .. . TILL I CAN ASK THE ADVICE OF THE BISHOP . $ 01 IF IT 'LL HELP YOU CAN PHONE HIM . $ 06 I COULDN'T DO IT ON THE PHONE - HIS HEARING 'S BAD . $ 01 WELL ... ER ... COULD I MAKE IT JUST HALF AN HOUR OR SO ? $ 06 IT MUST BE ALL NIGHT , MICK . $ 01 BUT I 'VE A HARD DAY TOMORROW . $ 06 YOU 'VE GOT TO HELP ME , MICK . $ I ASK NOT ONLY AS YOUR SPIRITUAL FATHER BUT YOUR FRIEND . $ < ( ESTHER ENTERS WITH TWO CUPS OF COCOA . ) > $ 01 BUT ALL NIGHT , VAL ! $ 06 IT HAS TO BE , MICK . $ ALL OR NOTHING . $ 02 I 'M GOING UP . $ 01 VAL WANTS ME TO PRAY WITH HIM FOR A BIT . $ 02 HE SAID ALL NIGHT . $ I HEARD HIM . $ 01 WE CAN COMPROMISE I EXPECT . $ 06 IT 'S A DESPERATE MEASURE , ESTHER ... $ 02 GET OUT OF MY WAY PLEASE ... $ 06 BE HONEST WITH YOURSELF , ESTHER ... BE HONEST WITH US .. . $ 02 < ( TO MICK ) > $ ARE YOU COMING TO BED ? $ 01 I CAN'T JUST LEAVE VAL LIKE ... $ 02 I DON'T WANT ANY MORE EXCUSES ... ARE YOU COMING ? $ < ( MICK LOOKS HESITANTLY AT YEO . ) > $ 06 IF YOU 'LL LET ME EXPLAIN - $ 02 < ( AT WHITE HEAT ) > $ WILL YOU SHUT UP ! $ 01 < ( SHOCKED ) > $ ESTHER ! $ 02 I 'M ASKING YOU FOR THE THE LAST TIME , MICK . $ ARE YOU GOING TO SEND THIS MAN AWAY AND COME TO BED - NOW ? $ 01 BE REASONABLE ! $ I CAN'T JUST ... $ 02 WHY DO I ALWAYS HAVE TO BE THE REASONABLE ONE ? $ WHY AM I ALWAYS EXPECTED TO GIVE WAY TO YOUR PREJUDICES AND YOUR PRIEST-RIDDEN IGNORANCE ? $ #58 $ ... YES . IGNORANCE . MICK . $ GOD HELP THE WOMEN OF IRELAND IF ALL IRISHMEN ARE AS NAIVE A S YOU WERE WHEN YOU MARRIED ME . $ YOU KNEW ALL ABOUT THE SORROWS OF OUR LADY , THE LITANY OF S AINTS AND LIFE EVERLASTING , BUT YOU KNEW NOTHING AT ALL ABO UT LIFE HERE ON EARTH - AND THAT INCLUDES LADIES WHO AREN'T SAINTS BUT HUMAN BEINGS ! $ I PUT UP WITH IT BECAUSE I LOVED YOU - AND GOD KNOWS IT WASN 'T EASY ... WITH HIM ( YEO ) AND HIS CROWD ROUND YOUR NECK Y OU 'RE A MENACE ... A MENACE TO ME AND A MENACE TO THE CHILD REN . $ IT 'S GOD OR ME , MICK ... AND IT 'S UP TO YOU TO CHOOSE . $ < ( PAUSE . ) > $ 06 YOU CAN'T ASK HIM THAT , ESTHER ... $ 02 < ( TO MICK ) > $ YOUR COCOA ... $ < ( SHE THRUSTS IT AT HIM ) > . $ AND I 'LL MOVE YOUR THINGS INTO THE SPARE ROOM . $ FOR KEEPS . $ < ( ESTHER EXITS . ) > $ 01 < ( FOLLOWING ) > $ WAIT A MINUTE , ESTHER ... $ 06 < ( STOPPING HIM ) > $ LISTEN TO ME , MICK ... $ 01 < ( GETTING FREE ) > $ HANG ON ... $ < ( HE GOES AFTER ESTHER AS SHE CROSSES THE HALL AND MOUNTS THE STAIRS . ) > $ ESTHER , LISTEN - YOU 'RE NOT BEING FAIR . $ 02 GOOD NIGHT . $ 06 < ( AT FOOT OF STAIRS ) > $ THINK OF YOUR SOUL , MICK ... $ 01 < ( TO ESTHER ) > $ I ONLY SAID HE WANTED ME TO . $ I DIDN'T ... $ < ( HE TAKES HOLD OF HER AS SHE REACHES THE TOP OF THE STAIR S . ) > $ 02 MIND THE COCOA ! $ 01 SORRY . $ 06 MICK ... WILL YOU LISTEN ... $ < ( ESTHER GOES INTO THE BEDROOM AND SWITCHES ON THE LIGHTS . $ BAKER SITS UP IN THE BED . ) > $ 01 < ( ENTERING THE BEDROOM ) > $ LOOK , ESTHER , I 'LL JUST TELL HIM TO GO NOW ... $ < ( CATCHES SIGHT OF BAKER ) > $ WHAT THE HELL ... $ 07 YOU DON'T GET RID OF ME THAT EASY . $ 01 GET OUT OF THAT BED ! $ 07 WHEN I 'VE ... $ < ( BUT MICK IS ON TOP OF HIM . $ THEY FIGHT ON THE BED . $ A CLUMSY MESSY FIGHT WITH THEM SHOUTING AT EACH OTHER ALL TH E TIME . $ #59 $ YEO RUNS UP THE STAIRS AND COMES INTO THE BEDROOM . ) > $ 06 STOP THAT NOW ... WHAT 'S GOING ON ? $ < ( ESTHER TURNS AND GOES OUT OF THE ROOM , DOWN THE STAIRS AND INTO THE LIVING-ROOM WHERE SHE SITS AND DRINKS HER COCOA . ) > $ THIS IS NO WAY TO BEHAVE ... WILL YOU STOP IT . $ < ( IN ATTEMPTING TO PART THEM HE GETS PULLED ON TO THE BED . ) > $ LET GO OF ME NOW ... $ < ( ALL THREE ARE SHOUTING AND FIGHTING ON THE BED . $ SEAN COMES IN AND STANDS WATCHING . $ IN TURN THEY EACH SEE HIM AND THE FIGHTING STOPS . ) > $ 01 AH ... HULLO , SEAN . $ 03 YOU WON'T LET ME FIGHT ON THE BED . $ 01 < ( TO YEO ) > $ WHAT DO I SAY TO THAT ? $ 06 YOU 'RE QUITE RIGHT , SEAN ... IT 'S NAUGHTY OF US . $ WE SHOULDN'T BE FIGHTING . $ 03 NOT ON THE BED . $ IT MAKES THE LEGS GIVE WAY . $ 07 I THINK YOU ONLY JUST SAVED THIS ONE . $ 03 ARE YOU STAYING THE NIGHT ? $ 01 COME ON NOW ... BACK TO BED . $ 03 BUT IS HE STAYING ? $ 01 OF COURSE HE 'S NOT . $ NOW COME ON , YOU 'RE MISSING YOUR SLEEP . $ 03 WHY WERE YOU HAVING A FIGHT WITH FATHER YEO ? $ 01 I WASN'T FIGHTING ... NOW COME ON . $ 03 BUT YOU SAID ... $ 01 SEAN ... COME ALONG . $ 03 BUT I ... $ 06 IT WAS JUST A GAME , SEAN ... THAT 'S ALL . $ NOW OFF YOU GO TO BED , LIKE A GOOD BOY . $ 03 I WANT HIM TO TAKE ME . $ < ( POINTS TO BAKER . ) > $ 01 DON'T BE SILLY , SEAN ... COME ALONG . $ 03 BUT WHY CAN'T HE ... ? $ 01 BECAUSE HE 'S BUSY ... $ 07 I DON'T MIND . $ I 'M NOT THAT BUSY . $ 01 < ( TURNING ) > $ NOW LOOK HERE YOU ... $ #60 $ 06 < ( HASTILY ) > $ IT 'LL DO NO HARM , MICK ... $ 01 I 'M NOT HAVING THAT ... $ 06 MICK ! $ < ( MICK STOPS . ) > $ THE SOFT ANSWER TURNETH AWAY WROTH . $ 03 HE 'S A STRONG MAN . $ HE 'S HAIRY . $ < ( BAKER LAUGHS . $ MICK TURNS ON HIM . $ YEO RESTRAINS MICK . ) > $ 01 LOOK HERE YOU - $ 06 LET 'S GET THE BOY TO BED . $ < ( TO SEAN ) > $ WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO TUCK YOU UP ? $ 03 ARE YOU HAIRY ? $ < ( BAKER LAUGHS . ) > $ 06 WHAT 'S HE ON ABOUT ? $ 01 JUST GET HIM TO BED ... WHERE 'S ESTHER ? $ 06 DOWNSTAIRS , I THINK . $ < ( MICK MAKES TO GO . ) > $ SHE 'S UPSET ... $ 01 I 'M NOT SURPRISED . $ 06 I 'LL PUT THE BOY TO BED . $ 03 I WANT HIM TO ( BAKER ) . $ 01 YOU 'LL DO AS YOU 'RE TOLD . $ 03 < ( STARTING TO CRY LOUDLY ) > $ BUT I WANT ... $ 06 THERE THERE NOW ... I TELL YOU WHAT ... WE 'LL BOTH PUT Y OU TO BED . $ THIS GENTLEMAN AND ME 'LL TUCK YOU IN . $ HOW 'S THAT ? $ 01 I 'M NOT HAVING ... $ 06 DO YOU WANT HIM YELLING THE PLACE DOWN ? $ 01 I DON'T WANT THAT MAN HANGING ROUND MY CHILDREN . $ 07 THEY 'LL COME TO NO HARM FROM ME . $ 03 I LIKE HAIRY MEN . $ 06 < ( TO MICK ) > $ THERE 'S NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT . $ YOU SEE TO ESTHER . $ COME ON , SEAN . $ < ( PAUSE . $ SEAN WAITS TILL BAKER APPROACHES HIM BEFORE MOVING . ) > $ 07 COME ON , NIPPER - TIME FOR BYE-BYES . $ < ( SEAN , YEO AND BAKER EXIT . $ MICK FOLLOWS THEM TO THE TOP OF THE STAIRS THEN GOES DOWN TO THE LIVING-ROOM . ) > $ 01 DID YOU KNOW HE WAS UP THERE ? $ #61 $ 02 OF COURSE I DID . $ I RAN UPSTAIRS TO GET INTO BED WITH HIM . $ 01 THERE 'S NO NEED FOR SARCASM . $ 02 THERE 'S NO NEED FOR SILLY QUESTIONS EITHER . $ 01 I 'M SORRY , I 'M ON EDGE . $ 02 YOU 'D BETTER HAVE YOUR COCOA . $ WHERE ARE THEY ? $ 01 PUTTING SEAN TO BED . $ HE WOKE UP . $ < ( ESTHER GETS UP . ) > $ HE 'LL BE ALL RIGHT . $ VAL 'S THERE . $ < ( ESTHER LOOKS AT MICK WITH SOMETHING LIKE DISGUST AND GOE S OUT OF THE LIVING-ROOM . $ MICK FOLLOWS HER . ) > $ HE 'S ONLY TUCKING HIM IN . $ 02 I WANT TO MAKE SURE HE WASN'T SCARED . $ YOU KNOW HOW NERVOUS HE IS . $ 01 I SAW HIM ... HE WAS ... $ < ( BAKER AND YEO APPEAR AT THE TOP OF THE STAIRS . $ MICK TURNS AT ONCE AND OPENS THE FRONT DOOR . ) > $ COME ON YOU , OUT ! $ 02 < ( TO YEO ) > $ YOU TOO ! $ 07 < ( TO YEO ) > $ I DON'T THINK THEY WANT US HERE . $ 01 < ( TO ESTHER ) > $ DON'T TALK TO VAL LIKE THAT . $ 02 WE WANT THEM OUT , DON'T WE? $ 01 BUT VAL 'S NOT AN INTRUDER . $ 02 HE IS TO ME . $ < ( TO YEO . ) > $ OUT . $ 01 ESTHER ! $ 06 IT 'S ALL RIGHT , MICK . $ ESTHER 'S UPSET , THAT 'S ALL . $ OVERWROUGHT . $ 02 DON'T PATRONIZE ME ! $ 06 I APPRECIATE HOW YOU FEEL . $ YOU 'VE HAD A TRYING DAY . $ 02 < ( TO MICK ) > $ ARE YOU GOING TO THROW THEM OUT ? $ 01 THEM ? $ HIM , YES ... ( BAKER ) . $ BUT YOU CAN'T ... $ 02 AND HIM ... ( YEO ) . $ 01 BE SENSIBLE FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE . $ < ( ESTHER CROSSES AND PICKS UP THE PHONE . ) > $ WHAT ARE YOU DOING ? $ 02 I 'M PHONING THE POLICE . $ IF YOU WON'T THROW THEM OUT THEY WILL . $ < ( BAKER GRABS THE PHONE FROM ESTHER . ) > $ 07 AH , NOW DON'T BE HASTY . $ #62 $ 02 GIVE ME THAT ... $ 07 JUST THINK A MINUTE ... $ 01 < ( TO BAKER ) > $ PUT THAT DOWN . $ 07 IF YOU 'LL JUST LISTEN TO REASON ... $ 01 < ( GRABBING THE PHONE SO THAT HE AND BAKER ARE PULLING A T IT ) > $ GET OUT OF THERE . $ 07 DON'T RILE ME . $ 02 WILL YOU LET GO MY HAND . $ 01 GIVE IT TO ME . $ < ( THEY STRUGGLE FOR THE PHONE . ) > $ 06 < ( MOVING IN BETWEEN THEM , TRYING TO SEPARATE THEM ) > $ THIS WILL GET US NOWHERE . $ < ( BUT BAKER AND MICK ARE FIGHTING . $ NOT VERY WELL AND THERE IS MORE MOVEMENT AND NOISE THAN DAMA GE . $ YEO'S CASSOCK GETS INVOLVED SO THAT HE CANNOT GET AWAY . $ MUCH SHOUTING . ) > $ 02 < ( TRYING TO MAKE HERSELF HEARD ) > $ MIND THE PHONE . $ < ( THE PHONE GETS PULLED FROM THE WALL IN THE FIGHT . $ JACKY COMES TO THE TOP OF THE STAIRS . ) > $ 05 WHAT 'S GOING ON ? $ < ( BEHIND JACKY THE CHILDREN CROWD . ) > $ 04 HE 'S HURTING DADDY . $ COME ON , SEAN . $ < ( DECLAN AND SEAN DASH PAST JACKY DOWN THE STAIRS . $ THEY GRAB BAKER AND YEO AND TRY TO HAUL THEM AWAY FROM MICK . $ THE HALL IS BECOMING A SHAMBLES . $ ESTHER GOES TO THE KITCHEN AND RETURNS A FEW SECONDS LATER W ITH A KETTLE OF WATER WHICH SHE POURS OVER THE COMBATANTS . $ THEY PART SPLUTTERING . ) > $ 02 < ( TO THE CHILDREN ) > $ GET BACK TO BED . $ 04 WHAT WERE THEY FIGHTING FOR ? $ 02 THEY DON'T LIKE EACH OTHER . $ OFF YOU GO . $ 03 FIGHTING 'S NAUGHTY . $ LIKE SUCKING YOUR THUMB . $ 02 QUITE RIGHT . $ < ( TO THE MEN . ) > $ I HOPE YOU 'RE ASHAMED OF YOURSELVES . $ OFF YOU GO . $ < ( SHE HERDS THE CHILDREN UPSTAIRS . ) > $ 03 THEY MIGHT START AGAIN . $ 02 I DON'T THINK SO . $ BED NOW . $ 03 < ( TURNING AT THE TOP OF THE STAIRS ) > $ YOU ARE WET ! $ < ( ESTHER AND THE CHILDREN GO OFF AT THE TOP OF THE STAIRS . ) > $ #63 $ 06 < ( WRIGGLING ) > $ I 'LL HAVE TO GO TO THE BATHROOM , MICK . $ I 'M DRENCHED . $ 01 I 'LL GET YOU A TOWEL . $ < ( TO YEO . ) > $ C'MON . $ 07 DON'T I GET A TOWEL ? $ 01 IT 'LL SAVE A LOT OF TROUBLE IF YOU 'RE NOT HERE WHEN I G ET BACK . $ < ( YEO AND MICK GO OFF AT THE TOP PF THE STAIRS . $ BAKER LOOKS AT JACKY . $ SHE PULLS HER DRESSING-GOWN ROUND HER AS IF PROTECTING HERSE LF FROM HIS GLANCE . ) > $ 07 HAVE YOU GOT A TOWEL TO SPARE ? $ 05 THERE 'S ONE IN THE KITCHEN . $ < ( JACKY GOES FROM THE HALL TO THE LIVING-ROOM , THEN TO TH E KITCHEN . $ BAKER FOLLOWS HER . $ HE STANDS BY THE FIRE TILL SHE RETURNS WITH A TOWEL . $ SHE STANDS BEFORE HIM NERVOUSLY . ) > $ 07 < ( AFTER A PAUSE ) > $ YOU DON'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT WHAT I SAW ... A GIRL 'S GOT A RIGHT TO ENJOY HERSELF . $ < ( JACKY SITS AND CRIES . ) > $ WHAT 'S THE WORRY ? $ YOU 'VE JUST GROWN UP . $ 05 I 'M SO ASHAMED . $ 07 GER ! $ YOU 'LL GET OVER IT . $ 05 I WON'T . $ I CAN'T . $ 07 GERRAWAY . $ 05 I 'LL HAVE A BABY . $ 07 WELL , S' WHAT YOU 'RE MADE FOR . $ EN IT ? $ 05 < ( DESPERATELY ) > $ BUT I 'M NOT MARRIED . $ 07 NOR ME - AN' I GOT HALF A DOZEN . $ IT 'S THE LUCK OF THE DRAW . $ 05 < ( WEEPS ) > $ I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU CAN JOKE ABOUT IT . $ < ( ESTHER COMES TO THE TOP OF THE STAIRS AND STARTS TO DESC END . $ JACKY WAILS . ) > $ 07 IT 'S A BLOODY FUNNY WORLD ! $ YOU WOMEN SPEND A FORTUNE TITIVATING YOURSELVES UP TO MAKE A MAN FORGET HE 'S CIVILIZED AND WHEN YOU PULL IT OFF YOU STA RT WEEPING AND WAILING . $ YOU ENJOYED IT , DIDN'T YOU ? $ 05 I DON'T KNOW . $ 07 WELL , WHETHER YOU DID OR NOT , YOU 'VE STARTED A HABIT Y OU WON'T WANT TO GIVE UP THAT EASY . $ < ( ESTHER COMES IN . $ JACKY TRIES TO HIDE HER HYSTERIA . ) > $ #64 $ WASN'T HOLY WATER , WAS IT ? $ 02 < ( TO JACKY ) > $ WHAT 'S UP WITH YOU ? $ 05 < ( DEFENSIVELY ) > $ NOTHING . $ 02 OH . $ < ( SHE LOOKS AT BAKER . ) > $ 07 I DON'T GO FOR VIRGINS . $ I LIKE 'EM EXPERIENCED . $ 05 I 'M NOT A VIRGIN . $ NOT ANY MORE . $ I 'M HAVING A BABY . $ < ( SHE LOOKS AT ESTHER THEN RUNS FROM THE ROOM UP THE STAIR S , PAST YEO AND MICK WHO ARE JUST COMING DOWN . ) > $ 02 < ( TO BAKER ) > $ ? $ 07 THINGS HAPPEN IN THIS HOUSE . $ 02 YOU MEAN WITH THAT SWEDE ? $ < ( BAKER NODS . ) > $ DID SHE TELL YOU ? $ 07 IT 'S A LONG TIME SINCE MY EARS HAD THIS MUCH WATER IN TH EM . $ 02 WHY ON EARTH SHOULD SHE TELL YOU ? $ 07 SHE TOLD ME NOTHING . $ < ( ESTHER LOOKS AT HIM WITH INCREDULITY . ) > $ 02 THEN HOW DO YOU ... ? $ 07 < ( NODS ) > $ I 'LL HAVE TO LEARN TO KNOCK . $ < ( YEO AND MICK COME IN . ) > $ 01 WHAT 'S THE MATTER WITH JACKY ? $ < ( PAUSE . $ ESTHER AND BAKER EXCHANGE GLANCES . ) > $ WELL ? $ 02 SHE 'S UPSET ... NOTHING TO WORRY OVER . $ 01 WHAT 'S SHE UPSET ABOUT ? $ NOTHING 'S HAPPENED TO HER . $ < ( BAKER LAUGHS . $ MICK LOOKS AT HIM . ) > $ HAVE YOU BEEN AT HER ? $ 07 AT HER ? $ WHAT DO YOU MEAN ' AT HER ' ? $ 06 MICK - I 'D LIKE TO HEAR WHAT ESTHER HAS TO SAY - $ 02 WHAT 'S IT GOT TO DO WITH YOU ? $ 01 ESTHER ! $ 02 WHAT HAS IT GOT TO DO WITH ANY OF US , COME TO THAT ? $ 01 I 'M RESPONSIBLE FOR HER . $ AND IF HE 'S LAID A FINGER ON HER I 'LL ... $ 02 FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE , MICK ... $ < ( SHE MOVES TO HIM ) > . $ 01 < ( IRASCIBLE ) > $ WELL , WHAT WAS SHE CRYING ABOUT ? $ 02 IT IS ALWAYS RATHER SHATTERING THE FIRST TIME . $ SHE 'LL BE ALL RIGHT IN THE MORNING . $ #65 $ 01 THE FIRST TIME ... ? $ 02 < ( WEARILY ) > $ SHE THINKS SHE 'S GOING TO BE A MOTHER . $ 01 WHAT ! $ < ( MICK TURNS INSTINCTIVELY TOWARDS BAKER . ) > $ 07 NOTHING TO DO WITH ME . $ I WAS JUST A WITNESS . $ 01 < ( TO ESTHER ) > $ WITNESS ? $ 02 JACKY TOOK YOUR ADVICE AND BROUGHT HER BOY-FRIEND HOME FO R THE EVENING . $ 01 BUT I DON'T SEE WHAT THAT ... $ < ( IT DAWNS ON HIM ) > $ ... YOU DON'T MEAN IT HAPPENED ... HERE ? $ 02 IN THE FRONT ROOM , APPARENTLY . $ 01 < ( HORRIFIED ) > $ MY FRONT ROOM ! $ 02 SO MR. BAKER SAYS . $ 07 I WAS LOOKING FOR SOMEWHERE TO HIDE , SEE . $ NATURALLY I CAME OUT QUICK . $ I KNOW MY MANNERS . $ 01 OH ! $ MY GOD ... $ 02 FORTUNATELY I GAVE IT A GOOD CLEAN YESTERDAY . $ 01 < ( SINKING INTO A CHAIR ) > $ OH , MY GOD ! $ I 'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO LOOK PADDY IN THE EYE AGAIN ... $ 02 I THOUGHT IT WAS THE NEIGHBOURS YOU WERE WORRIED ABOUT . $ 01 I 'M WORRIED ABOUT EVERYTHING . $ GREAT GRIEF . $ HOW AM I GOING TO EXPLAIN TO MY OWN BROTHER THAT THE DAUGHTE R HE PUT IN MY CARE IS ... BECAME ... THAT SHE ... AND IT HA PPENED UNDER MY OWN ROOF . $ 02 YOU DON'T HAVE TO TELL HIM ... $ HE WON'T NOTICE ANYTHING . $ 01 SHE 'S PREGNANT . $ HE 'LL NOTICE THAT . $ 02 SHE CAN'T KNOW YET . $ AND THE BOY 'S PROBABLY SENSIBLE ENOUGH TO TAKE PRECAUTIONS . $ < ( PAUSE . ) > $ 06 IS HE A CATHOLIC ? $ < ( THEY ALL TURN AND LOOK AT YEO . ) > $ 07 WILL YOU EXCOMMUNICATE HER IF HE ISN'T ? $ 06 < ( IGNORING HIM , WORRIED ) > $ SHE 'S A CATHOLIC GIRL , MICK ... $ 01 DON'T I KNOW IT ! $ DEAR GOD - IMAGINE MY HAVING TO TELL PADDY HIS DAUGHTER WAS CAUGHT BY A PROTESTANT ! $ #66 $ UNDER MY ROOF ! $ HE 'D KILL ME . $ 02 DON'T WORRY . $ THE SWEDES ARE LIBERAL IN RELIGION . $ 07 AND OTHER THINGS ! $ I HAD A SWEDISH GIRL ONCE AND SHE - $ 01 ALL RIGHT ! $ WE 'VE ENOUGH TROUBLE WITHOUT YOUR MEMOIRS . $ < ( TO YEO . ) > $ WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO ? $ 02 IT 'S NOTHING TO DO WITH HIM . $ 01 ESTHER ! $ 02 SHE 'S OLD ENOUGH TO DECIDE HER OWN FUTURE . $ 06 I HAVE TO THINK OF THE MORAL SIDE , ESTHER ... $ 02 DOES THAT MEAN YOU 'D PREFER JACKY TO BE SEDUCED BY A PRO TESTANT WITH A CONTRACEPTIVE OR A CATHOLIC WITHOUT ONE ? $ < ( PAUSE . ) > $ 07 THAT 'S A GOOD QUESTION . $ 01 WILL YOU KEEP OUT OF THIS ! $ 07 HOW ABOUT THE OTHER WAY ROUND ? $ WOULD YOU PREFER A CATHOLIC WITH A CONTRACEPTIVE OR A PROTES TANT WITHOUT ONE ? $ 02 EXACTLY . $ 01 IT 'S NO JOKE , ESTHER ... $ 02 I 'M NOT JOKING ... I WANT AN ANSWER . $ IS IT BETTER FOR A GIRL TO BE ILLEGITIMATELY PREGNANT OR IRR ELIGIOUSLY NOT ? $ 07 HE 'LL HAVE TO RING UP THE POPE TO ANSWER THAT . $ 06 I 'M SURPRISED , ESTHER , THAT YOU CAN MAKE FUN OF THE PO OR GIRL'S TROUBLE . $ 02 I 'M NOT THINKING ABOUT JACKY - $ 01 WELL I AM THINKING ABOUT HER ! $ IF SHE 'S PREGNANT HER LIFE 'S RUINED . $ 02 I WISH TO GOD YOU 'D SHOW AS MUCH CONCERN ABOUT MINE . $ 01 WHAT ... WHAT 'S THAT GOT TO DO WITH IT ? $ 02 IF YOU DON'T MIND THAT BOY USING A CONTRACEPTIVE TO SAVE JACKY'S FUTURE , WHY SHOULDN'T I USE SOMETHING TO SAVE OURS ? $ < ( PAUSE . $ MICK TURNS TO YEO . ) > $ 01 VAL - $ 02 DON'T ASK HIM - YOU TELL ME . $ IT 'S YOUR ANSWER I WANT . $ 01 BUT VAL IS MY - $ #67 $ 02 I KNOW , I KNOW ... VAL IS YOUR WET NURSE ... I 'VE HEARD IT ALL BEFORE AND I 'M SICK OF IT ! $ 01 < ( TO VAL ) > $ I DON'T KNOW WHAT 'S GOT INTO HER ... $ 02 HE HAS ! $ HE WANTS TO KEEP YOU FROM GOING TO BED NOW . $ AND YOU LET HIM . $ 01 VAL DIDN'T REALLY MEAN TO KEEP ME UP ALL NIGHT . $ DID YOU , VAL ? $ 06 I THINK THE BEST THING WE CAN DO IS TO SIT DOWN AND DISCU SS THE MATTER CALMLY . $ 02 WILL YOU KEEP OUT OF IT ! $ 01 < ( TO YEO ) > $ SHE 'S NOT HERSELF . $ 02 DON'T APOLOGIZE FOR ME ! $ 01 < ( ANGRILY ) > $ THEN STOP GIVING ME CAUSE TO ! $ 06 < ( INTERVENING ) > $ PLEASE ... PLEASE , I BEG YOU ... DON'T LET ME COME BETWEEN YOU . $ 02 THEN GO HOME . $ 07 YEH , BELT OFF , THEN WE CAN GET SOME KIP . $ 01 SHUT UP - $ 02 WHAT 'S THE ANSWER , MICK ? $ 01 IN GOD'S NAME , I DON'T KNOW ... $ 02 WELL , HURRY UP AND MAKE UP YOUR MIND . $ FOR BOTH OUR SAKES . $ 01 MAKE UP MY MIND ABOUT WHAT ? $ I DON'T KNOW WHERE I AM ... WHERE WE ARE . $ WE WERE GOING TO HAVE AN EARLY NIGHT ... THEN HE ARRIVED ... ( BAKER ) . $ 02 NO HE DIDN'T ... HE DID ... ( YEO ) . $ 07 THAT 'S RIGHT - HE DID . $ 02 AND DO YOU KNOW WHY HE CAME HERE ? $ 01 I ASKED HIM TO . $ 02 YOU DIDN'T ASK HIM THE SECOND TIME . $ 01 ESTHER , HE IS OUR GUEST . $ 02 HE IS NOT OUR GUEST . $ HE INVITED HIMSELF HERE TO STOP US SLEEPING TOGETHER . $ < ( PAUSE . ) > $ 01 YOU MUST BE ILL . $ 02 ALL RIGHT , ASK HIM . $ GO ON - ASK HIM . $ < ( MICK LOOKS AT YEO . ) > $ 06 I 'M SORRY , MICK . $ #68 $ 01 IT 'S TRUE ? $ < ( YEO NODS . ) > $ 06 I HAD TO DO IT . $ 01 < BAFFLED ) > $ BUT I ... YOU SAID YOU WANTED ME TO HELP YOU SAVE A SOUL . $ 06 THAT 'S TRUE ... I DID . $ 01 < ( BAFFLED ) > $ YOU MEAN ... IT WAS A LIE ? $ 06 NO ... NO ... IT WASN'T A LIE , MICK . $ 02 THE SOUL WAS MINE . $ 01 YOURS ? $ 02 AND MAYBE YOURS TOO - HE THINKS I 'M GOING TO ENTICE YOU INTO SIN WITH A CONTRACEPTIVE PILL . $ < ( PAUSE . $ MICK LOOKS AT YEO . ) > $ 06 WHAT ELSE COULD I DO , MICK ? $ ... WHAT ELSE COULD I DO ? $ 01 < ( INCREDULOUS ) > $ YOU CAME HERE DELIBERATELY TO KEEP ME FROM GOING TO BED WITH ESTHER BECAUSE YOU THOUGHT WE WERE USING THOSE THINGS ? $ < ( PAUSE . ) > $ 07 < ( TO MICK ) > $ COME ON , I 'LL GIVE YOU A HAND TO CHUCK HIM OUT . $ 01 < ( SAVAGELY ) > $ ... WILL YOU KEEP OUT OF THIS ! $ 06 IT WASN'T EASY FOR ME , MICK . $ YOU KNOW I PUT YOUR HAPPINESS ABOVE ALL THINGS BUT ... IT 'S A MORTAL SIN , MICK . $ 01 < ( TO YEO ) > $ I TOLD YOU WE WOULDN'T TOUCH THEM , DIDN'T I ? $ ... DO YOU TAKE ME FOR A LIAR ? $ 06 NO ... NO ... I TRUST YOU , MICK ... $ 01 THEN WHAT IN THE NAME OF MOSES IS IT ALL ABOUT ? $ 06 WE 'RE SURROUNDED BY TEMPTATIONS , MICK . $ THE DEVIL IS NEVER FAR AWAY AND SOME OF US ARE WEAK ... $ < ( HIS EYES FLICKER TO ESTHER ) > $ 02 MRS. HALE TOLD HIM THAT SHE 'D SEEN ME COMING OUT OF THE FAMILY PLANNING CENTRE IN FREER STREET . $ 01 < ( SHOCKED ) > $ SHE DID ? $ OH , I SEE ... $ < ( HE LOOKS UNCOMFORTABLY FROM YEO TO ESTHER ) > . $ WELL ... DID SHE ? $ SEE YOU , I MEAN . $ 02 HOW DO I KNOW WHAT SHE SAW ? $ 01 < ( IRRITATED ) > $ WELL , COULD SHE HAVE SEEN YOU ? $ DID YOU GO THERE ? $ #69 $ 02 THAT 'S MY BUSINESS , ISN'T IT ? $ 01 AREN'T YOU GOING TO DENY IT ? $ 02 NO . $ 01 YOU MEAN YOU WERE THERE ? $ 02 JUST TELL ME WHETHER YOU 'RE GOING TO LET YOUR SO-CALLED FRIEND USE THAT WOMAN'S GOSSIP TO MAKE TROUBLE BETWEEN US . $ 07 IF IT WAS ME I 'D MURDER HIM . $ 01 < ( TURNING TO BAKER ) > $ OH GOD - I 'D FORGOTTEN ABOUT HIM . $ < ( TO ESTHER ) > . $ IT 'LL BE ALL OVER THE DISTRICT NOW WHY VAL CAME TO SEE US . .. WE 'LL BE LUCKY IF WE 'RE NOT STONED OUT OF TOWN AS SEXUA L MANIACS . $ 07 YOU DON'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT ME . $ I 'M A STRAIGHTFORWARD ATHEIST . $ I CAN KEEP MY MOUTH SHUT . $ AT A PRICE . $ 01 < ( HOPEFULLY ) > $ DOES THAT MEAN YOU 'LL TAKE THE EIGHT POUNDS ? $ 07 I DON'T WANT YOUR MONEY . $ I WANT MY JOB BACK . $ 02 AND I WANT MY MARRIAGE . $ AT LEAST , WHAT 'S LEFT AFTER YOUR PRIEST 'S FINISHED WITH I T . $ 01 ESTHER , VAL CAME HERE TO SAVE US , NOT HARM US . $ 02 AND YOU THINK HE WAS RIGHT ? $ 01 WHAT ELSE COULD HE DO ? $ HE COULDN'T LET ME LOSE MY IMMORTAL SOUL . $ 07 NO , YOU HANG ON TO THAT , MATE . $ THERE ISN'T A DRINK GOING IS THERE , BY ANY CHANCE ? $ 01 NO THERE IS NOT ! $ 02 WHAT ABOUT MY MORTAL BODY ? $ 07 < ( WITH RELISH ) > $ HEAR , HEAR ! $ 01 < ( SAVAGELY ) > $ SHUT UP ! $ YOU KNOW WHAT THE CHURCH SAYS ABOUT THAT , ESTHER . $ YOUR FAITH SHOULD TELL YOU - $ 02 I 'VE GOT NO FAITH , MICK . $ 01 WHAT ? $ 02 I 'M SORRY , BUT I 'M TIRED OF PRETENDING . $ < ( PAUSE . $ MICK IS STUNNED . ) > $ 01 BUT ... YOU SAID YOU HAD . $ 02 ONLY FOR THE SAKE OF YOUR PEACE OF MIND . $ 01 BUT YOU PROMISED ... YOU PROMISED TO ABIDE BY IT . $ 02 WHAT ABOUT THE FISH ON FRIDAYS BUSINESS THEN ? $ I PROMISED THAT TOO , BUT I DON'T HAVE TO KEEP IT NOW , DO I ? $ #70 $ NOR DO YOU . $ WE HAVE LAMB CHOPS ON FRIDAYS NOW INSTEAD OF COD FILLETS AND THE POPE IS QUITE HAPPY . $ 01 THAT 'S SOMETHING QUITE DIFFERENT ... YOU KNOW IT IS . $ 02 I DON'T SEE HOW . $ I ALWAYS KNEW THE MEAT BUSINESS WAS RIDICULOUS , THEN THE PO PE CAME ROUND TO MY WAY OF THINKING AND DROPPED IT . $ WELL , I 'M NOT GOING TO GO ON HAVING KIDS OR LIVING LIKE A NUN UNTIL HE CHOOSES TO THINK TWICE ABOUT THE PILL . $ 06 I DON'T THINK YOU UNDERSTAND , ESTHER - $ 02 IT 'S YOU WHO DOESN'T UNDERSTAND . $ IF YOU DID , MICK AND I WOULDN'T BE IN THIS MESS NOW . $ IN FACT , WE 'D BE IN BED , IN BED TOGETHER FOR THE FIRST TI ME IN TEN MONTHS . $ WHAT BUSINESS OF YOURS IS IT WHAT I DO WITH MY BODY ? $ 01 A PERSON ISN'T JUST A BODY , ESTHER . $ 06 LISTEN TO ME , ESTHER - $ 02 I DON'T WANT TO HEAR ANY MORE . $ 06 NO , LISTEN PLEASE - $ 01 YOU 'VE GOT TO LET HIM PUT HIS POINT OF VIEW . $ 02 I KNOW HIS POINT OF VIEW . $ EVERY TIME I TRY TO MAKE YOU SEE SENSE I GET IT . $ 06 PLEASE , ESTHER ... IT ISN'T EASY FOR ME ... I DON'T WANT TO INTERFERE ... BUT I AM A PRIEST . $ I BELIEVE IN THE IMMORTALITY OF THE SOUL PROVIDING IT DOES N OT KILL ITSELF BY SIN DURING ITS LIFE HERE ON EARTH . $ IN MY FAITH THE ABUSE OF THE NATURAL FUNCTIONS OF PROCREATIO N IS SUCH A DEATH SIN . $ 07 HOW ABOUT HOW YOU ABUSE 'EM THEN ? $ 01 WILL YOU KEEP OUT OF THIS - $ 07 HE 'S NOT ALLOWED TO HAVE WOMEN IS HE ? $ 01 OF COURSE HE ISN'T . $ 07 WELL THEN ... HE 'S WASTING HIS NATURAL JUICES ... IF THA T AIN'T ABUSING THE FUNCTIONS OF PROCREATION , WHAT IS ? $ < ( PAUSE . ) > $ 06 IT IS NOT AN INTERFERENCE WITH THE ACT . $ < ( TO ESTHER , SERIOUSLY . ) > $ BELIEVING WHAT I DO I CANNOT , IN ALL DUTY TO MY CONSCIENCE AND GOD , WATCH PEOPLE COMMITTING SPIRITUAL SUICIDE WITHOUT TRYING TO SAVE THEM , HOWEVER MUCH THEY MAY REVILE ME FOR DO ING SO . $ #71 $ 02 OR HOWEVER MUCH MISERY THEY MAY HAVE TO SUFFER ? $ 06 WE CAN'T TAKE THE EASY WAY OUT , ESTHER . $ THERE IS NO COMPROMISE WITH GOD . $ < ( PAUSE . ) > $ 02 THERE CAN'T BE MANY POPES IN HEAVEN , THEN . $ 01 ESTHER , PLEASE . $ 02 IT 'S MAN'S FAITH , THAT 'S WHAT IT IS . $ WORSE , IT 'S A BACHELOR FAITH ... DICTATED , ORGANIZED AND ADMINISTERED BY BACHELORS WHO BELIEVE WOMEN ARE SOME SORT OF INFERIOR BEINGS WHO'S JOB IS TO PRODUCE BABIES AND SPEND TH E REST OF THEIR LIVES AS NURSEMAIDS . $ 06 THAT 'S NOT TRUE , ESTHER . $ THE CHURCH HONOURS WOMEN AS EQUAL TO MEN IN ALL WAYS . $ 02 I 'LL BELIEVE THAT WHEN THERE 'S A WOMAN POPE . $ 06 EQUAL IN THEIR OWN SPHERES - $ 02 WITH THE MEN GIVING ALL THE ORDERS . $ 01 ESTHER , THE CHURCH UNDERSTANDS THESE THINGS BETTER THAN WE DO ... $ 02 SO YOU THINK HE WAS RIGHT TO COME HERE AND STOP US FROM G OING TO BED TO MAKE LOVE ! $ 01 HE ONLY WANTED TO SEE THAT THE TRUE NATURE OF THE ACT WAS PRESERVED . $ 02 AS IT 'S AN ACT HE 'S NOT EVEN ALLOWED TO EXPERIENCE HOW CAN HE KNOW WHAT ITS NATURE IS ? $ 06 OH , COME NOW , ESTHER ... $ 02 HE DOESN'T EVEN THINK IT 'S CLEAN ! $ 06 ON THE CONTRARY , I 'M FIGHTING TO KEEP IT CLEAN ! $ 02 HOW CAN YOU KNOW ABOUT THE NEEDS OF PEOPLE'S BODIES WHEN YOU THINK ALL FLESH IS EVIL ? $ 06 IT IS EVIL ONLY IF WE INDULGE ITS APPETITE FOR PLEASURE A LONE . $ 07 YOU MEAN YOU SHOULDN'T EAT TILL YOU 'RE HUNGRY ? $ 06 WE ARE NOT DISCUSSING FOOD . $ 07 JUST AS WELL , THE WAY YOU LIKE YOUR FEED BAG , 'EN IT ? $ 06 I AM NOT A GLUTTON . $ 07 YOU LIKE A GOOD FEED . $ WE LIKE A GOOD FUCK . $ WHAT 'S THE DIFFERENCE ? $ #72 $ < ( PAUSE . $ YEO CROSSES HIMSELF . ) > $ 01 < ( REMONSTRATIVELY ) > $ WATCH WHAT YOU 'RE SAYING . $ 07 THEY 'RE BOTH APPETITES 'EN THEY ? $ WHAT 'S WRONG WITH ... $ 01 < ( DELIBERATELY ) > $ I 'M TALKING ABOUT YOUR SWEARING . $ CUT IT OUT . $ 07 ME ? $ SWEAR ? $ I NEVER SWEAR , NOT BEFORE LADIES . $ I KNOW BETTER 'N THAT . $ HERE . $ < ( TO YEO ) > $ DID I SWEAR ? $ DID A PROFANITY PASS MY LIPS ? $ 06 WELL , STRICTLY SPEAKING I SUPPOSE NOT - BUT YOU USED AN OBSCENE WORD . $ 07 WHAT WAS THAT ? $ < ( YEO OPENS HIS MOUTH , MICK QUICKLY PRESSES HIS SHOULDER . $ PAUSE . ) > $ 01 THERE 'S NO POINT IN PRETENDING IGNORANCE . $ 07 WELL , WHAT 'D YOU SAY ? $ 01 MAKING LOVE IS SUFFICIENT . $ 07 WHAT 'S LOVE GOT TO DO WITH IT ? $ I DON'T LOVE ALL OF 'EM ... I JUST REACT LIKE A MAN AND ... $ 01 < ( LOUDLY ) > $ THAT 'S ENOUGH ! $ 07 WHAT ABOUT COPULATE ? $ 01 I DON'T WANT TO HEAR ! $ 07 I GOT A SELECTION - SHAG , RIDE , STUFF , SCREW ... $ 01 STOP IT . $ 07 BUNK UP . $ 01 SHUT UP ! $ 07 DIP YOUR WICK , CHARVER , ROGER ... $ 01 STOP IT ! $ 07 SHAFT , BANG , POKE ... $ 01 STOP IT ! $ < ( BAKER STOPS . $ MICK BREATHES HEAVILY . $ LOOKS AT YEO . ) > $ 06 < ( PLOUGHING ON ) > $ SEXUAL INTERCOURSE IS A SACRAMENTAL ACT OF UNION UNDER THE B LESSING OF GOD AND ITS NATURAL END IS THE PROCREATION OF CHI LDREN - $ 07 BLIMEY , I COULD DO WITH A DRINK ... $ 06 ANY ACT TO DEFEAT THAT END IS DETESTABLE TO GOD AND A VIO LATION OF HIS LAW . $ A MORTAL SIN , ESTHER . $ 02 MORTAL SIN OR NOT , THE ONLY PERSON WHO DECIDES WHETHER O R NOT I HAVE A BABY IS ME , AND IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH HE LLFIRE , YOUR CONSCIENCE OR JESUS CHRIST ... $ #73 $ < ( YEO AND MICK CROSS THEMSELVES . ) > $ 07 HE WAS A BACHELOR , WASN'T HE ? $ 02 EXACTLY . $ WHAT IN GOD'S NAME DID HE KNOW ABOUT WHAT WOMEN HAVE TO PUT UP WITH ? $ 01 ESTHER ! $ 02 HE DIDN'T HAVE TO SUFFER EIGHT PREGNANCIES AS I HAVE DONE - INCLUDING THREE MISCARRIAGES , ONE STILL BIRTH AND A TOTA L OF HUNDRED AND TEN HOURS OF LABOUR PAINS TO PRODUCE THREE LIVE KIDS ! $ AND HE DIDN'T HAVE TO LIE AWAKE IN BED WITH HIS BODY CRYING OUT FOR A HUSBAND WHO REFUSES TO COMFORT HER UNLESS SHE 'S W ILLING TO RISK GOING THROUGH THE WHOLE MESSY DANGEROUS BUSIN ESS OF PROCREATING AGAIN . $ 01 IT 'S NOT LIKE THAT . $ IT 'S NOT EASY FOR ME ... IF I COULD HAVE SUFFERED FOR YOU W HILE YOU WERE GOING THROUGH THOSE TIMES , I WOULD HAVE . $ I 'D HAVE GIVEN ANYTHING TO HAVE HELPED YOU ... ANYTHING . $ 02 THEN HELP ME NOW , MICK . $ YOU KNOW WHAT I THINK AND YOU KNOW WHAT VAL THINKS ... WHAT DO YOU THINK ? $ 01 < ( CONFUSED ) > $ MY HEAD 'S SPLITTING ... $ 02 ALL THAT 'S BETWEEN US IS WHAT HE THINKS ABOUT A LITTLE P ILL ... A LITTLE PILL , THAT 'S ALL ... $ 01 < ( EMBARRASSED ) > $ ESTHER , I ... CAN'T ... TALK ABOUT ... THINGS LIKE THAT WIT H PEOPLE HERE ... $ 02 THEN SEND THEM AWAY . $ IT 'S YOUR HOUSE ! $ 06 ESTHER , YOU 'RE PUTTING TOO MUCH ON TO MICK ... $ 02 THIS IS BETWEEN MICK AND ME AND NOBODY ELSE . $ PLEASE ... CAN'T YOU LEAVE US ALONE ? $ < ( PAUSE . $ THE MEN SHIFT UNCOMFORTABLY . ) > $ 01 ESTHER , IT 'S NOT JUST HOW VAL FEELS ABOUT THE PILL . $ I FEEL THE SAME . $ 02 WHAT ? $ 02 IT 'S THE WHOLE IDEA OF IT ... I JUST CAN'T STOMACH IT .. . IT 'S ... DIRTY , SOMEHOW ... DEGRADING ... $ 02 < ( SET-FACED ) > $ RIGHT . $ THANK YOU . $ THAT 'S ALL I WANTED TO KNOW . $ GOOD NIGHT , MICK ... $ < ( HE MOVES TOWARDS THE DOOR . ) > $ 01 DON'T YOU SEE WHAT I MEAN AT ALL ? $ #74 $ 02 < ( TURNING , FURIOUS ) > $ YOU THINK IT 'S DIRTY , DO YOU ? $ WHAT ABOUT LOOKING AT THE DATE ! $ WHAT ABOUT THE CALCULATING AND WORKING OUT - FIDDLING ABOUT WITH A BIT OF CARDBOARD BOUGHT FOR HALF A GUINEA TO HELP FIN D OUT WHERE THE OVA IS INSIDE ME ... BENDING , TWISTING , DO UCHING ... ANYTHING TO KEEP YOUR SEMEN FROM MEETING IT AND Y OUR CONSCIENCE CLEAR OF TROUBLE ! $ THE PILL IS A CLEAN MORAL ACT COMPARED WITH THAT MUDDY LITTL E BIT OF HYPOCRISY ! $ ISN'T IT ? $ < ( PAUSE . ) > $ WELL ISN'T IT ? $ 01 < ( ALMOST BEATEN ) > $ I DON'T KNOW , ESTHER . $ I DON'T KNOW . $ 02 WELL YOU 'D BETTER DECIDE ... AND YOU 'D BETTER BE QUICK . $ I AM , TO PUT IT BRIEFLY AND BROADLY A FEMALE HOMO SAPIENS C ALLING TO HER MATE AND GETTING HOARSE WITH THE EFFORT . $ UNLESS YOU TELL YOUR PRIEST TO LEAVE THIS HOUSE NOW THERE 'L L BE NO CHILDREN AND NO ME LEFT IN IT TOMORROW . $ IT 'S HIM OR ME , MICK . $ YOU CAN'T HAVE BOTH . $ < ( BAKER ENTERS FROM THE KITCHEN WITH A BOTTLE OF WHISKY . ) > $ 07 HERE , CAN I 'AVE A DROP OF THIS ? $ 01 NO YOU CAN'T ! $ < ( THE DOORBELL RINGS . $ THEY ALL FREEZE . ) > $ 01 WHO ON EARTH CAN THAT BE ? $ 02 PERHAPS THAT SWEDE 'S COME BACK TO MARRY JACKY . $ < ( ESTHER GOES TO THE FRONT DOOR . ) > $ 07 < ( TO MICK ) > $ YOU MUST BE BARMY LETTING HIM ( YEO ) STOP YOU ... $ 01 SHUT UP ! $ < ( ESTHER OPENS THE DOOR . ) > $ 07 GIVE HER THE COME HERE NOW , NEVER MIND THE HEREAFTER . $ < ( A POLICEMAN IS AT THE DOOR . ) > $ 09 IS A MAN NAMED BAKER HERE , MADAM ? $ 02 YOU 'D BETTER COME IN . $ < ( THEY START FOR THE LIVING-ROOM . $ ESTHER CLOSES THE FRONT DOOR . ) > $ 01 ONE MORE WORD FROM YOU AND I 'LL FORGET THAT I 'M A CHRIS TIAN . $ 07 MIGHT BE BETTER IF YOU DID SOMETIMES - $ 01 RIGHT , THAT DOES IT - $ #75 $ < ( HE GOES FOR BAKER . $ YEO INTERVENES . ) > $ 06 NOW BOYS , DON'T LET 'S HAVE ANY FIGHTING ... DON'T ... O H , GOOD EVENING , OFFICER . $ < ( THE MEN STOP AS ESTHER ENTERS WITH P.C. BEAMISH . ) > $ 09 AH , HULLO , BERT . $ FUNNY COMPANY FOR YOU ISN'T IT ? $ 07 WHAT YOU WANT ? $ 09 YOU OF COURSE . $ YOU 'RE DUE FOR YOUR MONTH INSIDE . $ MARGERY SOAMES . $ NO MONEY FROM YOU AND SHE DOESN'T LIKE IT . $ 07 < ( DISGUSTED ) > $ OH , BLIMEY ! $ 01 < ( RELIEVED ) > $ THANK GOD ! $ 07 GIVE US A CHANCE , MATE - THERE 'S A MATTER OF LIFE AND D EATH GOIN' ON HERE - $ 09 SORRY , BERT ... $ 07 < ( POINTING AT YEO ) > $ HE 'S THE ONE YOU WANT , YOU KNOW . $ HE 'S COMING BETWEEN MAN AND WIFE ! $ 09 NOW THEN ... ON YOUR WAY . $ 07 GAWD STONE ME , THERE 'S NO JUSTICE - $ 09 YOU SHOULD BE MORE CAREFUL WITH YOUR BIRDS . $ 07 CAREFUL ? $ THEY WANT IT , I GIVE IT TO 'EM . $ 09 YOU DON'T HAVE TO GIVE 'EM KIDS AS WELL . $ 07 < ( INDIGNANT ) > $ I 'M NOT PADDLING WITH MY SOCKS ON , MATE . $ IT TAKES AWAY PLEASURE . $ EVEN HIS LOT 'LL TELL YOU THAT . $ 01 < ( TO P.C. ) > $ WILL YOU TAKE HIM AWAY - HE 'S DONE NOTHING BUT TALK OF SEX SINCE HE 'S BEEN HERE . $ 09 WELL YOU KNOW THE OLD SAYING , SIR . $ THEM AS TALK DON'T , THEM AS DON'T DO . $ 06 HIS CAREER MAKES THAT SAYING RATHER SILLY . $ 09 DEPENDS HOW YOU LOOK AT IT , SIR . $ I 'VE NEVER KNOWN THE TALKERS DO MUCH HARM . $ IT 'S THE QUIET ONES YOU HAVE TO WATCH ... THE BROODERS ... $ 07 < ( POINTING AT MICK ) > $ HE 'S A BROODER . $ HE 'S A RIGHT BROODER IF I EVER SAW ONE . $ 01 PLEASE TAKE HIM AWAY ! $ < ( THE P.C. TAKES HOLD OF BAKER'S ARM . ) > $ 07 ALL RIGHT , I 'M GOING ... BUT DON'T THINK YOU 'VE SEEN T HE LAST OF ME , MATE . $ I 'LL BE BACK ! $ AS SOON AS I GET OUT I 'LL BE ROUND HERE FOR MY RIGHTS , AND IF I DON'T GET 'EM I WON'T BE THE ONLY ONE THAT LOSES HIS RE PUTATION . $ #76 $ 01 JUST TRY IT . $ 07 YOU WATCH ME ! $ 01 I 'M SORRY ABOUT YOUR JOB , MR. BAKER , BUT SCHOOLS CAN'T AFFORD TO TAKE RISKS , SO EVEN THE SUSPECTS HAVE TO SUFFER . $ 07 I 'M NO SUSPECT ! $ NOT ABOUT SEX I 'M NOT . $ IT DON'T WORRY ME . $ I HAVE IT WHEN I WANT IT AND I DON'T HAVE TO GO SEARCHING MY NUT FOR REASONS . $ HIM AND HIM ARE THE ONES YOU WANT TO WATCH . $ ESPECIALLY HIM ( YEO ) . $ ALL HIS LOT ARE A BUT CURLY ROUND THE EDGES . $ < ( MICK MAKES A MOVE . $ THE P.C. STEPS IN . ) > $ 09 TAKE IT EASY , SIR . $ COME ON , BERT ... $ 07 GAWD , THIS 'LL BE THE END OF ME - FOUR WEEKS OF TONGUE-W AGGING WHILE I 'M INSIDE AND I SHAN'T BE ABLE TO SAY A WORD ! $ IF I 'D RAPED FOURTEEN WOMEN AND STRANGLED 'EM WITH THEIR ST OCKINGS I 'D HAVE A BETTER CHANCE OF LIVING IT DOWN THAN WHA T THEY 'RE GOING TO SAY ABOUT ME NOW . $ 09 YOU DIDN'T GO TOO FAR WITH SISTER THERESA I HOPE ? $ 07 SISTER THERESA ? $ I NEVER TOUCHED HER . $ 09 THAT 'S NOT WHAT I HEARD . $ 07 WHAT YOU HEARD , HEY WHAT ? $ 09 WELL IT 'S NOT FOR ME TO REPEAT GOSSIP BUT I HEAR SHE TOL D SMART SHE DIDN'T WANT YOU DELIVERING AT THE SCHOOL ANY MOR E AND WELL ... THEY 'RE ALL FEMALE TEACHERS THERE , AREN'T T EY ? $ 06 THEY ARE ALL NUNS . $ 09 WITH HIS OUTLOOK THAT 'S NO DIFFERENCE AND WHEN ANY FEMAL E TURNS UP COMPLAINING ABOUT HIM , NO ONE HAS TO LOOK FAR FO R THE REASON . $ 07 BLIMEY ! $ 01 IT WAS NOTHING OF THE SORT . $ HE WAS SACKED FOR ... $ 02 < ( QUICKLY ) > $ THERE 'S NO POINT IN MAKING A FUSS ABOUT IT . $ LET SLEEPING DOGS LIE . $ 01 BUT FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE WE CAN'T HAVE ... $ 02 < ( URGENT ) > $ WAIT , MICK ! $ IT SOLVES A LOT OF PROBLEMS TO LEAVE THINGS AS THEY ARE ... ( POINTEDLY ) . $ DOESN'T IT , MR. BAKER ? $ #77 $ 07 HANG ON , LET 'S GET THIS STRAIGHT ... $ < ( TO P.C. ) > $ YOU MEAN THEY ALL THINK I WAS AFTER THE NUNS ? $ 09 SISTER THERESA IN PARTICULAR . $ 07 < ( INCREDULOUSLY ) > $ EH ? !!! $ < ( ESTHER NOTICES YEO LOOKING UNCOMFORTABLE . ) > $ 02 ISN'T THAT RIGHT , VAL ? $ 06 IT 'S ALL VERY EMBARRASSING . $ WE KEEP DENYING IT , BUT ... IT JUST GETS WORSE . $ 07 < ( AMAZED AND DELIGHTED ) > $ STREWTH ! $ THEN EVERTHING 'S ALL RIGHT ... I TOLD YOU I WASN'T SUSPECT , DIDN'T I ? $ THEY KNOW WHAT I AM ROUND HERE ... $ < ( CHUCKLES ) > $ NUNS ! ... $ < ( LAUGHS ) > $ ME AND SISTER THERESA ! ... $ < ( ROARS WITH LAUGHTER ) > $ I WOULDN'T HALF MAKE HER SING THE LITANY ... $ < ( HE ROLLS ABOUT WITH LAUGHTER . ) > $ 01 FOR GOD'S SAKE GET HIM OUT OF HERE . $ 07 WAIT TILL MINNIE HANNIGAN HEARS ABOUT THIS . $ ... SHE 'LL BE GOING RELIGIOUS HERSELF ! $ 09 COME ON , BERT ... BEHAVE YOURSELF . $ < ( MICK OPENS THE DOOR . ) > $ 07 GOOD NIGHT ALL ... $ < ( TO ESTHER . ) > $ HOPE IT TURNS OUT ALL RIGHT FOR YOU - YOU 'RE A GOOD 'UN ... GOOD LUCK . $ 02 GOOD NIGHT , MR. BAKER , AND THANK YOU . $ HAVE A NICE MONTH INSIDE . $ 07 IT 'S GOING TO BE A PLEASURE . $ BLIMEY ! $ A NUN ! $ 09 COME ON ... $ < ( DURING THE ABOVE SEAN COMES DOWNSTAIRS . $ ON HEARING THE DOOR OPEN HE GOES INTO THE SITTING-ROOM . ) > $ 07 < ( AS THEY GO ACROSS THE HALL TO THE FRONT DOOR ) > $ NOT ANY NUN EITHER - A MOTHER SUPERIOR ! $ 09 < ( FOLLOWING HIM ) > $ DON'T GET BIG HEADED ABOUT IT ... $ < ( MICK SLAMS THE FRONT DOOR ON BAKER AND P.C. BEAMISH . $ RETURNS TO THE LIVING-ROOM . ) > $ 01 WELL ! $ 02 WELL , MICK ? $ < ( YEO LOOKS AT MICK . ) > $ 01 I DON'T KNOW WHERE I AM NOW . $ 02 YOU WERE ABOUT TO CHOOSE . $ WHICH IS IT TO BE , MICK ? $ 01 IT 'S NOT AS SIMPLE AS THAT , ESTHER . $ THERE 'S MY FAITH . $ #78 $ 02 AND THERE 'S MINNIE HANNIGAN ! $ 01 W - WHAT ABOUT MINNIE HANNIGAN ? $ 02 YOU TELL ME . $ 01 YOU DON'T THINK I 'VE ... ESTHER , I 'VE ALWAYS BEEN FAIT HFUL TO YOU , I SWEAR I HAVE . $ ALWAYS . $ 02 IN DEED , YES . $ IN WORD , YES . $ IN THOUGHT ? $ NO ! $ < ( PAUSE . ) > $ MINNIE HANNIGAN IS A VERY DESIRABLE WOMAN AND WELL KNOWN FOR BESTOWING HER FAVOURS ON WHOEVER TAKES HER EYE . $ 01 I SWEAR I HAVE NEVER APPROACHED HER . $ NEVER . $ 02 SHE HAS APPROACHED YOU . $ JOYCE SAW YOU TALKING TO HER . $ 01 SHE 'S BEEN ... TRIED TO BE FRIENDLY ... YES , BUT I ... I NEVER ENCOURAGED HER ... I WOULDN'T . $ 02 MINNIE KNOWS HER GROUND . $ SHE 'S PRACTISED - SHE 'S SAFE . $ A MAN CAN SLEEP WITH MINNIE AND CLEAR HIS CONSCIENCE IN THE CONFESSIONAL AFTERWARDS . $ DON'T TELL ME IT DOESN'T HAPPEN , BECAUSE IT DOES , AND HALF THE WIVES ROUND HERE KNOW IT . $ JUST AS THEY KNOW YOU GIVE THEM ABSOLUTION . $ 06 I DO NOT ! $ I CANNOT . $ ABSOLUTION GOES ONLY TO THE GENUINELY CONTRITE . $ ... $ 02 WAS HE GENUINELY CONTRITE WHEN HE CONFESSED THAT HE LET H IS EYES WANDER OVER MINNIE WITH ADULTEROUS INTENT ? $ 01 ESTHER , PLEASE ... $ 02 MICK , I 'M TRYING TO SAVE OUR MARRIAGE . $ 01 YOU WON'T SAVE IT LIKE THIS . $ IF I 'VE SINNED AGAINST YOU IN THOUGHT , I 'M SORRY ... I NE ED YOU ... I TRYLY NEED YOU ... BUT - $ 02 BUT WHAT ? $ 01 CAN'T YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT IT MEANS TO ME , ESTHER ? $ 02 NO , I TRIED TO ONCE , BUT I CAN'T AFFORD TO ANY LONGER . $ I 'VE LEARNT THAT THERE 'S NO COMPROMISE . $ IF THE JEHOVAH'S WITNESSES OR THE PLYMOUTH BRETHREN OR ANY O THER MODEST LITTLE SECT MADE YOUR SORT OF DEMANDS ON THEIR W IVES , THEY 'D BE CONDEMNED ON ALL SIDES ... BUT BECAUSE THE CATHOLIC CHURCH IS ANCIENT , RICH AND GRAND IT GETS AWAY WI TH MURDER . $ #79 $ AND IT NEVER YIELDS AN INCH ... NOT AN INCH ! $ WELL , I 'M SORRY , BUT I 'M ONE WIFE WHO 'S HAD ENOUGH . $ I 'M GOING TO PACK . $ < ( SHE MOVES TO THE DOOR . ) > $ 01 < ( STRONGLY ) > $ NO - WAIT , ESTHER ! $ < ( SHE STOPS AND TURNS . $ MICK LOOKS AT YEO - NOT QUESTIONINGLY THIS TIME . $ YEO RISES . ) > $ 06 TIME MAY SHOW THE HOLY FATHER A WAY OUT OF THIS DILEMMA - A WAY TO EASE THE SUFFERING AND MORAL TRIBULATION OF MARRIA GE IN THE MODERN WORLD ... UNTIL THEN ... $ < ( PAUSES AND LOOKS AT MICK ) > . $ SOME OF MY BRETHREN LEAVE THESE DECISIONS TO THE CONSCIENCES OF THEIR FLOCK . $ PERHAPS THEY ARE RIGHT . $ I WOULD NOT WANT TO DESTROY YOUR MARRIAGE . $ FOLLOW YOUR CONSCIENCE . $ < ( PAUSE . ) > $ 02 WELL , THAT 'S SETTLED THEN ... $ < ( SHE LOOKS AT MICK WHO DOES NOT LOOK AT HER . ) > $ < ( TO YEO . ) > $ YOU 'D BETTER GET HOME . $ ... AND IF YOU WANT TO HELP MICK , KEEP MRS . HALE'S TONGUE FROM WAGGING . $ 01 SO YOU WENT THERE , THEN - TO THAT PLACE ? $ < ( PAUSE . $ ESTHER LAUGHS . ) > $ 02 YES . $ ONE BOTTLE OF SIN . $ < ( PRODUCES THE BOTTLE FROM THE SHELF . ) > $ THEY DON'T LOOK LIKE MORAL DYNAMITE , DO THEY ? $ < ( YEO AND MICK EXCHANGE STARTLED LOOKS . ) > $ 01 ARE ... ARE THOSE BIRTH PREVENTION PILLS ? $ 02 YES . $ 01 YOU 'RE SURE ? $ 02 I 'VE ONLY THE DOCTOR'S WORD FOR IT - I 'VE NOT HAD A CHA NCE TO TEST THEM YET , HAVE I ? $ < ( PAUSE . ) > $ 01 BUT IT 'S GOT ASPIRIN ON IT . $ 02 THEY 'RE STILL BIRTH PILLS . $ < ( YEO SITS DOWN HEAVILY . ) > $ 02 IS ANYTHING WRONG ? $ 06 I DON'T FEEL QUITE MYSELF . $ 02 YOU 'RE PROBABLY HUNGRY - AND YOUR MOTHER 'S PROBABLY OUT OF HER MIND . $ 06 IT 'S NOTHING TO DO WITH THAT . $ #80 $ 02 WELL ... CAN I GET YOU AN ASPIRIN ? $ 06 I THINK I 'LL GO HOME . $ < ( HE GETS UP . ) > $ 01 SHALL I RUN YOU IN THE CAR ? $ 06 ER ... NO ... THE WALK 'LL DO ME GOOD ... PERHAPS . $ GOOD NIGHT , ESTHER . $ < ( YEO GOES OUT WITH MICK . ) > $ 01 ARE YOU SURE YOU 'RE ALL RIGHT ? $ 06 I 'LL WALK IT OFF . $ 01 BUT ... $ 06 I 'D RATHER YOU DIDN'T TALK ABOUT IT . $ IT EMBARRASSES ME . $ 01 VAL ... ABOUT MY CONSCIENCE . $ 06 I CAN'T GRANT YOU ABSOLUTION , MICK , BUT FOLLOW YOUR CON SCIENCE . $ YOU 'VE MY WORD TO DO THAT - GOD IS MERCIFUL - AND MY PRAYER S WILL BE WITH YOU . $ ET ANTIQUUM DUCTMENTUM NOVOCEDAT RITUI . $ DOMINUS VOBISCUM . $ < ( SIGN OF THE CROSS . ) > $ < ( YEO GOES OUT . $ MICK CLOSES THE DOOR . $ ESTHER GOES INTO THE KITCHEN AFTER COLLECTING THE CUPS . $ AS MICK MOVES BACK ACROSS THE HALL THE DOOR OF THE FRONT ROO M CLICKS SHUT . $ HE NOTICES , GOES TO IT AND OPENS IT . ) > $ 01 < ( LOOKING INTO ROOM ) > $ WHAT ARE YOU DOING THERE ? $ 03 < ( APPEARING , INNOCENTLY ) > $ NOTHING , DADDY . $ 01 HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN IN THERE ? $ 03 THERE 'S NOTHING ON THE TELLY . $ 01 YOU SWITCHED THE TELLY ON ? $ < ( SEAN NODS . ) > $ THAT WAS VERY NAUGHTY OF YOU . $ YOU MUSTN'T TOUCH SWITCHES . $ 03 I SWITCHED IT OFF AGAIN . $ 01 OFF YOU GO TO ... WHAT HAVE YOU GOT THERE ? $ < ( SEAN SHOWS WHAT HE HAS IN HIS HAND . $ IT IS A SMALL CRUMPLED PAPER PACKET ABOUT AN INCH SQUARE . ) > $ 01 WHERE DID YOU GET THAT ? $ 03 ON THE SETTEE ... HAVE YOU BEEN HAVING SWEETS ? $ 01 GO TO BED ... AND DON'T LET ME CATCH YOU UP AGAIN . $ 03 NO , DADDY . $ < ( AS HE MOVES MICK PICKS HIM UP AND KISSES HIM , HUGS HIM AND PUTS HIM ON THE STAIRS . ) > $ 01 THAT 'S A GOOD BOY . $ #81 $ < ( SEAN GOES UPSTAIRS . ) > $ DON'T MAKE A NOISE ... AND COVER YOURSELF UP . $ < ( SEAN GOES OFF . $ MICK STANDS LOOKING AT THE LITTLE PACKET THEN GOES INTO THE LIVING-ROOM . ) > $ 02 < ( COMING FROM THE KITCHEN ) > $ I 'M MAKING SOME MORE COCOA . $ < ( MICK HOLDS OUT THE PACKET . $ SHE LOOKS AT IT AND LOOKS BACK AT MICK . ) > $ 01 SEAN FOUND IT IN THE FRONT ROOM . $ 02 WHEN ? $ 01 JUST NOW . $ HE 'S HAD THE T.V. ON . $ < ( ESTHER MOVES . ) > $ I 'VE SENT HIM BACK TO BED . $ < ( MICK CROSSES TO THE FIRE LOOKING AT THE PACKET . $ ESTHER WATCHES AS AFTER A MOMENT HE THROWS IT ON THE FIRE . ) > $ 02 THAT OUGHT TO PUT YOUR MIND AT REST ABOUT JACKY ANYWAY . $ 01 YES . $ < ( PAUSE . ) > $ WHY DID YOU GO THERE ? $ WHY DID YOU GET THEM WITHOUT TELLING ME ? $ 02 WHY DID YOU LOOK AT MINNIE HANNIGAN ? $ < ( PAUSE . ) > $ 01 < ( MISERABLY ) > $ I CAN'T DO IT , ESTHER . $ NOT WITH YOU USING THEM . $ < ( ESTHER SAYS NOTHING . $ MICK LOOKS AT HER . ) > $ I 'M SORRY . $ < ( ESTHER TURNS AND GOES INTO THE KITCHEN . $ MICK GOES TO THE KITCHEN DOOR . $ ESTHER COMES BACK TO THE DOOR . $ PAUSE . ) > $ I 'M SORRY . $ 02 SO YOU SAID . $ < ( SHE MOVES TO THE TABLE WITH THE CUPS . ) > $ 01 I DON'T WANT TO HURT YOU , ESTHER ... TRY TO UNDERSTAND . .. EVEN SINCE I WAS A BOY I 'VE BEEN A CATHOLIC ... AND I 'V E NEVER DOUBTED ... I 'VE ALWAYS BEEN SO SURE . $ WHEN I WAS A BOY I WAS UP EACH DAY TO MASS ... SERVING ON TH E ALAR ... THINKING WHAT A GREAT MAN VAL WAS , GOING TO BE A PRIEST . $ YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS IN IRELAND , ESTHER ... TO BE A CATHOLIC ... AND IT 'S BRED IN ME ... PART OF ME . $ #82 $ AND WHEN I LOOK AT THE WORLD TODAY ... , WELL , I NEED SOMET HING TO CLING TO , ESTHER ... FOR THE CHILDREN ... THAT THER E ARE SOME VALUES ... SOME THINGS THAT - LAST . $ ELSE WHAT 'S IT ALL FOR ? $ < ( PAUSE . ) > $ WELL ... SAY YOU UNDERSTAND , OR SOMETHING . $ 02 THERE 'S NO POINT IN ARGUING ANY MORE - WE MAY AS WELL GE T TO BED . $ < ( AS SHE TURNS MICK TAKES HER IN HIS ARMS . $ SHE STAYS PASSIVE . ) > $ 01 < ( EMBARRASSED BUT DETERMINED ) > $ I WANT YOU , ESTHER . $ 02 I WANT YOU . $ < ( PAUSE . $ MICK KISSES HER . $ A LONG KISS . $ SHE RESPONDS . ) > $ 01 LET 'S GO TO BED . $ 02 AND THE PILL ? $ HE SAID FOLLOW YOUR CONSCIENCE ! $ 01 I KNOW - BUT THAT 'S JUST VAL , BEING SORRY FOR ME ... US . $ IF I TOOK ADVANTAGE OF IT I 'D JUST BE DECEIVING MYSELF . $ YOU CAN SEE THAT , CAN'T YOU ? $ 02 IT 'S JUST NONSENSE , MICK . $ 01 I CAN'T GO AGAINST MY FAITH . $ < ( ESTHER SITS . ) > $ I 'M SORRY . $ 02 I WISH YOU COULD BE PREGNANT . $ 01 IF I COULD BE FOR YOU - I WOULD . $ < ( SILENCE . ) > $ 02 GO TO BED . $ 01 AND YOU ? $ 02 I 'LL BE WITH YOU IN A MINUTE . $ I 'LL JUST GET THE COCOA . $ 01 YOU 'LL NOT USE THEM ? $ < ( ESTHER SHAKES HER HEAD . $ MICK LOOKS AT THE PILLS ON THE TABLE . $ ESTHER , FOLLOWING HIS EYE , PICKS THEM UP AND THROWS THEM O N THE FIRE . $ HE KISSES HER GENTLY ON THE LIPS WITHOUT USING HIS HANDS . $ GOES OFF . ) > $ 02 < ( TO AUDIENCE ) > $ OF COURSE HE DOESN'T KNOW I 'M DOSED ALREADY . $ IGNORANCE IS A GREAT HELP SOMETIMES . $ SO IS DECEIT . $ IF THE CATHOLIC CHURCH CAN EQUIVOCATE SO CAN I . $ I PROMISED NO PILLS . $ BUT THERE 'S MORE WAYS OF KILLING THE CAT . $ < ( SHE STOPS . ) > $ KILLING THE CAT ... $ GOOD NIGHT . $ < ( ESTHER GOES OFF . ) > $ < THE CURTAIN FALLS > $