
<< *151 . TERENCE FRISBY : THERE 'S A GIRL IN MY SOUP . A CO
MEDY . LONDON , FRENCH , 1966 . 73 P. . FIRST PERF. : 150666
 . CHAR. : 01 ROBERT DANVERS , 02 CLARE DORLATON-FINCH , 03
ANDREW HUNTER , 04 JOHN THE PORTER , 05 PAOLA , 06 MARION ,
07 JIMMY >> $
< TIME - THE PRESENT > $
#1 $
< ACT 1 > $
< SCENE - ROBERT'S FLAT . $
AN EVENING IN EARLY SUMMER . $
THE FLAT IS SITUATED IN S.W. 3 , AND IS SUPERB . $
THE SET CONSISTS OF THE MAIN ROOM , KITCHEN , BEDROOM AND OU
TSIDE CORRIDOR . $
SLIDING SCREENS DIVIDE THE BEDROOM AND KITCHEN FROM THE LIVI
NG-ROOM . $
THE BEDROOM IS L , THE HALL AND CORRIDOR ARE R . $
THE KITCHEN IS UP C , AND BETWEEN IT AND THE LIVING-ROOM RUN
S A LARGE DIVIDING UNIT . $
THERE IS A SPARE ROOM OFF R . $
WHEN THE CURTAIN RISES , ROBERT AND CLARE ARE ON THE SOFA EM
BRACING . $
ROBERT IMAGINES HIMSELF TO BE THE LAST WORD IN CHARM AND INT
ELLIGENCE . $
IN FACT , HE IS CONCEITED , VAIN AND POMPOUS - ESPECIALLY PO
MPOUS . $
A PEACOCK OF A MAN , FOREVER PREENING . $
THE SCREENS HIDING THE KITCHEN ARE CLOSED , AND THE RECORD-P
LAYER IS GIVING SOFT MUSIC . > $
01 YOU FEEL LIKE A TENDER SPRING CHICKEN . $
02 CAN'T YOU FORGET YOUR STOMACH FOR ONE MOMENT ? $
01 YOUR LIPSTICK HAS A VERY PLEASANT DRY FLAVOUR THAT IS BRO
UGHT OUT BY YOUR SCENT . $
THERE 'S THE MEREST SUGGESTION OF SOMETHING LIKE TARRAGON .
$
02 I 'M SO GLAD FOR YOU . $
01 DON'T SNEER . $
A DELICATELY ROASTED TARRAGON CHICKEN IS A JOY . $
02 IN A MINUTE I 'LL LAY AN EGG . $
< ( ROBERT BITES HER NECK . $
SHE BREAKS AWAY ) > $
OW . $
I THINK YOU 'VE TAKEN A LUMP OUT OF ME . $
YOU 'D BETTER GIVE UP BEING A PROFESSIONAL GOURMET ; IT 'S O
BVIOUSLY WARPING YOU . $
01 NONSENSE . $
LIKE ANY ORDINARY MAN , THE WAY TO EVEN MY HEART IS THROUGH
MY STOMACH . $
MY GOD , BUT YOU 'RE LOVELY . $
02 OH , ROBERT , I DO LOVE YOU . $
01 I KNOW . $
02 AND ? $
01 AND ? $
02 AND . $
01 AND I ADORE YOU . $
DON'T LOSE THE PLACE FOR A MOMENT . $
< ( ROBERT GOES INTO THE BEDROOM , FLICKS THE COVERLET BACK
OFF THE BED , SWITCHES ON THE ELECTRIC BLANKET , REMOVES HIS
 JACKET AND HIS TIE AND COMES BACK TO THE LIVING-ROOM . $
AS ROBERT RETURNS , CLARE NOTES HIS CHANGE ) > $
02 < ( SLIDING TO THE R END OF THE SOFA ; CASUALLY ) > $
BY THE WAY . $
01 HM ? $
02 GUESS WHAT HAPPENED TO ME THE DAY BEFORE YESTERDAY . $
01 WHAT ? $
< ( HE SITS BESIDE HER AND KISSES THE BACK OF HER NECK ) > $
#2 $
02 GUESS . $
01 I HAVE NO IDEA . $
< ( HE EASES OFF A SHOE ) > $
02 I HAD A PROPOSAL . $
01 < ( KISSING HER BACK ) > $
WHAT WAS IT ? $
02 A PROPOSAL . $
01 YES , I HEARD - OH , YOU MEAN A PROPOSAL . $
02 YES . $
01 POOR CHAP . $
< ( HE REMOVES HIS SECOND SHOE ) > $
02 WHAT ? $
01 WELL , YOU OBVIOUSLY TURNED HIM DOWN . $
02 AH , THAT 'S WHERE YOU 'RE WRONG . $
01 YOU ACCEPTED HIM ? $
02 NO . $
I KEPT HIM ON A LOW FLAME . $
01 VERY WISE . $
< ( RISING ) > $
THAT BLANKET SHOULD BE WARM BY NOW . $
< ( ROBERT BENDS TO PICK HER UP TO CARRY HER TO THE BEDROOM
) > $
02 < ( CROSSING HER LEGS TO STOP HIM ) > $
NOW GUESS WHEN I 'VE GOT TO LET HIM KNOW DEFINITELY . $
01 DARLING , THIS IS A LOVELY GAME , BUT SHALL WE PLAY IT AF
TER . $
02 NO , BEFORE . $
WHILE YOU 'RE STILL HUNGRY . $
01 < ( SITTING BACK IN SOFA ) > $
I 'VE NO IDEA . $
WHEN ? $
02 I SAID I 'D LET HIM KNOW TONIGHT . $
01 TONIGHT ? $
02 YES . $
< ( LOOKING AT HIM ) > $
I KNEW I 'D BE SEEING YOU THIS AFTERNOON . $
< ( ROBERT REALIZES WHAT SHE IS GETTING AT AND MOVES AWAY AL
ONG THE SOFA ) > $
WELL - SHOULD I ? $
01 MARRY HIM , YOU MEAN ? $
02 YES . $
01 CLARE , REALLY . $
I COULDN'T POSSIBLY INTERFERE IN YOUR AFFAIRS . $
02 WELL , YOU HAVEN'T BEEN DOING BADLY UP TILL NOW . $
YOU SEE , HE LOVES ME , SO NATURALLY HE WANTS TO MARRY ME .
$
01 NATURALLY . $
02 I MEAN , IT IS ONLY NATURAL FOR A MAN TO WANT TO MARRY TH
E WOMAN HE LOVES . $
01 QUITE . $
02 YOU SAID JUST NOW THAT YOU LOVED ME . $
01 I DID NOT . $
02 YOU SAID YOU ADORED ME . $
01 THAT 'S NOT QUITE THE SAME THING , IS IT ? $
02 < ( AFTER A PAUSE ) > $
I SEE . $
< ( SHE RISES AND PICKS UP HER COAT ) > $
THEN I 'D BETTER MARRY HIM , HADN'T I ? $
01 IF YOU SAY SO . $
< ( TAKING HER COAT FROM HER ) > $
CLARE , DARLING CLARE . $
THEN THIS IS OUR LAST TIME TOGETHER . $
AFTER SIX GLORIOUS MONTHS . $
LET 'S MAKE IT WONDERFUL , MEMORABLE . $
< ( HE PUTS HER COAT ON THE SOFA , THEN PUTS HIS ARMS ROUND
HER AND MOVES HER TOWARDS THE BEDROOM ) > $
#3 $
02 < ( BREAKING AWAY ) > $
NO , THAT 'S OUT . $
< ( LYING ACROSS THE BACK OF THE SOFA ) > $
YOUR OPTION HAS EXPIRED . $
01 DARLING , WOULDN'T IT BE BETTER TO END WITH A BANG RATHER
 THAN A WHIMPER ? $
02 < ( PRIMLY ) > $
NO . $
IT WOULDN'T BE FAIR TO HIM . $
HE HAS STRONG MORAL VIEWS ABOUT PERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS . $
01 I 'M SURE YOU 'LL MAKE HIM VERY HAPPY . $
< ( GOING INTO THE HALL ) > $
MY GOD , IS THAT THE TIME ? $
I HAD NO IDEA . $
I 'LL GET THE PORTER TO GET YOU A TAXI . $
HOW TIME FLIES WHEN I 'M WITH YOU , CLARE . $
< ( ON THE HOUSE PHONE ) > $
OH , JOHN , GET ME A TAXI , WOULD YOU ? $
QUICKLY ... $
THEN COME UP ... $
THANK YOU . $
< ( HE RINGS OFF , THEN TURNS OFF THE RECORD-PLAYER ) > $
PERHAPS WE COULD MEET NEXT WEEK . $
02 < ( SITTING UP ) > $
YOU ONLY WANT ME FOR ONE THING . $
01 YES , BUT WHAT A LOVELY THING . $
< ( CLARE LAUGHS , IN SPITE OF HERSELF ) > $
MY GOD , BUT YOU 'RE LOVELY . $
< ( PUTTING HIS ARMS ROUND HER ) > $
OH , CLARE , WE 'VE HAD SUCH FUN . $
LET 'S KEEP IT LIKE THIS , RIGHT TILL THE END . $
02 THIS IS THE END . $
01 THEN WHAT ABOUT A CLOSING CEREMONY ? $
02 OH , ROBERT , YOU 'RE IMPOSSIBLE . $
< ( SHE LAUGHS ) > $
01 I KNOW . $
< ( ROBERT PICKS HER UP AND CARRIES HER TO THE BEDROOM . $
ANDREW ENTERS THE CORRIDOR . $
HE LOOKS VERY HARASSED . $
ROBERT PUTS CLARE ON THE BED AND IS ABOUT TO JOIN HER WHEN A
NDREW RINGS THE BELL , AND MOPS HIS BROW ) > $
HELL'S NOSTRILS ! $
WHO 'S THAT ? $
02 IT 'S MY TAXI . $
01 OH , YES . $
I 'LL TELL HIM TO COME BACK IN HALF AN HOUR . $
02 MY GOD , AT LEAST MAKE IT FORTY-FIVE MINUTES . $
< ( ROBERT GOES TO THE DOOR EXTRACTING A NOTE FROM HIS POCKE
T . $
CLARE KICKS HER SHOES OFF AND GOES INTO THE BATHROOM WITH HE
R BAG . $
ROBERT OPENS THE DOOR ) > $
01 THANK YOU , JOHN , BUT I WON'T BE NEEDING ... ANDREW ! $
03 HALLO , OLD BOY . $
01 WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE ? $
03 NOW , DON'T YOU START . $
I 'VE HAD A BASINFUL FOR ONE AFTERNOON . $
01 ANDREW , IT 'S A SHADE AWKWARD AT THE MOMENT ... $
03 WHY ? $
HAVE YOU GOT SOME CONCOCTION ON THE BOIL ? $
01 NO . $
03 WORKING ON A NEW DISH ? $
01 NO . $
03 WRITING A RECIPE ? $
01 NO . $
03 THEN WHY THE HELL AREN'T YOU READY ? $
#4 $
01 READY FOR WHAT ? $
03 I 'M PICKING YOU UP . $
01 YES . $
TOMORROW . $
03 NO . $
TODAY . $
01 NO , TOMORROW . $
FRIDAY . $
03 TODAY IS FRIDAY . $
01 IS IT ? $
03 YES . $
01 WHATEVER HAPPENED TO THURSDAY ? $
03 < ( ENTERING THE ROOM ) > $
COME ON . $
HURRY UP . $
WE 'RE WAITING . $
01 WE ? $
IS GILLY WITH YOU ? $
03 YES . $
AND THE KIDS . $
01 < ( CLOSING THE HALL DOOR ) > $
THE KIDS . $
WHERE ARE THEY ? $
03 DON'T WORRY . $
< ( MOVING TO THE DRINKS ) > $
THEY 'RE DOWNSTAIRS , SHACKLED INTO THE CAR . $
CAN I HAVE A DRINK ? $
< ( HE POURS HIMSELF A DRINK ) > $
I NEED ONE . $
GILLY DECIDED TO CALL FOR ME AT THE OFFICE , WITH THE FIVE K
IDS , THE NEW AU PAIR AND THE DOG . $
PHEW ! $
THE TORTOISE AND THE GOLDFISH DECIDED TO STAY AT HOME , WHIC
H WAS PRETTY SENSIBLE OF THEM . $
01 I 'M AFRAID I CAN'T COME JUST AT THIS MOMENT . $
03 CAN'T ? $
YOU 'VE GOT TO . $
I 'M NOT FACING THAT SCREAMING MOB WITHOUT UNCLE ROBERT . $
01 YOU 'LL HAVE TO . $
03 WHY ? $
< ( CLARE ENTERS THE BEDROOM , UNDRESSED AND HOLDING A BATHR
OBE IN FRONT OF HER ) > $
02 < ( CALLING ) > $
ROBERT , DARLING . $
< ( ANDREW STARES AT THE BEDROOM , THEN AT HIS WATCH ) > $
03 FIVE-THIRTY . $
IT 'S IN THE MIDDLE OF THE RUSH HOUR . $
02 DARLING . $
01 COMING , DARLING . $
02 YES , WELL , DO . $
< ( SHE GOES BACK INTO THE BATHROOM ) > $
03 ARE YOU WORKING 'EM IN SHIFTS NOW ? $
01 I 'M SORRY , OLD BOY , I 'LL HAVE TO JOIN YOU IN PUTNEY L
ATER . $
03 ROBERT NOW . $
YOU 'VE PROMISED MY KIDS YOU 'D READ 'EM BED TIME STORIES .
$
YOU CAN'T DISAPPOINT THEM . $
01 OH , YES , I CAN . $
03 NOW , LISTEN . $
EITHER YOU COME BACK WITH ME , OR I LET THEM LOOSE UP HERE .
 $
01 WHAT ? $
03 TAKE YOUR PICK . $
01 THAT 'S A FILTHY TRICK . $
03 < ( SITTING IN THE CHAIR R ) > $
THIS IS A FILTHY SITUATION . $
< ( ROBERT AND ANDREW GLARE AT EACH OTHER . $
CLARE ENTERS THE BEDROOM , NOW CLAD IN THE BATHROBE ) > $
02 < ( IRRITABLY ) > $
DARLING . $
ARE YOU COMING ? $
< ( SHE LIES ON THE BED ) > $
#5 $
03 AND SEE HOW SHE ENJOYS IT WITH FIVE HEALTHILY CURIOUS CHI
LDREN FOR COMPANY . $
01 < ( QUIETLY ) > $
ALL RIGHT , THEN . $
YOU 'LL HAVE TO HELP . $
03 HELP ? $
01 < ( MOVING TO THE BEDROOM ) > $
HELP GET RID OF HER . $
03 OH . $
02 DARLING , WHERE ARE YOU ? $
< ( ROBERT ENTERS THE BEDROOM ) > $
01 DARLING , THERE 'S AN IDIOT FRIEND OF MINE HERE I CAN'T G
ET RID OF . $
I HAVE TO GO OUT . $
I 'M TERRIBLY SORRY . $
02 I HAVE JUST TAKEN OFF MY LIPSTICK . $
YOU ARE THE BOTTOM . $
< ( CLARE SLAMS OFF INTO THE BATHROOM . $
JOHN ENTERS THE CORRIDOR AND RINGS THE BELL ) > $
01 < ( CALLING TO ANDREW ) > $
THERE 'S JOHN . $
LET HIM IN , WILL YOU ? $
SHE WON'T MAKE A SCENE IN FRONT OF THE PORTER . $
03 OH , GOOD . $
< ( ANDREW OPENS THE HALL DOOR . $
ROBERT EXITS TO BATHROOM ) > $
HALLO , JOHN . $
COME ON IN . $
< ( HE MOVES BACK INTO THE ROOM ) > $
04 < ( ENTERING THE ROOM ) > $
AFTERNOON , MR HUNTER . $
MR DANVERS'S TAXI IS WAITING . $
03 THEY WON'T BE LONG . $
< ( HE SITS ON THE DIVIDER ) > $
04 AND MRS HUNTER ASKED ME TO TELL YOU TO GET A MOVE ON BEFO
RE SHE MURDERED ONE OF THE KIDS . $
03 RIGHT . $
04 QUITE A LITTLE CROWD YOU GOT NOW . $
ALL THRIVING , I HOPE . $
03 YES , BURSTING WITH ENERGY . $
CIGARETTE ? $
04 OH , TA . $
HE GOT SOMETHING FOR ME TO CARRY , HAS HE ? $
03 NO , I THINK HE JUST - UM ... $
04 WANTED ME TO WAIT . $
03 MORE OR LESS , YES . $
04 OH . $
SHAME . $
< ( HE CLOSES THE HALL DOOR ) > $
SHE ONLY CAME IN HALF AN HOUR AGO , TOO . $
03 HM ? $
04 DIDN'T EXPECT NO SIGNS OF LIFE JUST YET . $
03 AH . $
04 I 'VE OFTEN HAD TO HANG ABOUT , YOU KNOW . $
SORT OF - REFEREE . $
03 REALLY ? $
04 YES , I DON'T GET IT . $
THEY GO OUT OF HERE MISERABLE , CRYING , HYSTERICAL , THREAT
ENING SUICIDE . $
I MEAN , I KNOW HE COOKS EVERY WEEK ON TELLY , BUT HE 'S NOT
 THAT FANTASTIC . $
03 NO . $
04 AND THEY 'RE ALL MARVELLOUS-LOOKING , TOO . $
ALL GRADE A PASTEURIZED , FULL CREAM . $
NOTHING OVER THE TOP FOR HIM . $
NOTHING OFF . $
OH , NO . $
HOW 'S MRS HUNTER , BY THE WAY ? $
#6 $
03 EH ? $
OH , VERY FIT , THANK YOU VERY MUCH . $
04 LOOK AT THIS ONE , EH ? $
GOH ! $
SHE 'S LOVELY , ISN'T SHE ? $
03 WELL , I HAVEN'T REALLY SEEN HER YET . $
04 OH , DEAR . $
MARVELLOUS , SHE IS . $
LOVELY LEGS ON HER . $
03 YES ? $
04 THEY 'RE-ER - WHAT 'S THE RIGHT WORD ? $
- UM - THEY 'RE VERY LEGGY LEGS , IF YOU SEE WHAT I MEAN . $
03 I THINK SO . $
YES . $
04 AND LONG , WHAWH , RIGHT UP TO HER BUM . $
03 REALLY . $
04 NOT LIKE MY OLD WOMAN . $
HER ARSE COMES DOWN TO MEET HER KNEES . $
< ( ROBERT ENTERS FROM THE BATHROOM AND OPENS THE BEDROOM SC
REENS ) > $
01 ALL 'S WELL . $
AH , JOHN , NO NEED FOR YOU TO WAIT . $
TELL THE TAXI DRIVER THE LADY 'S JUST COMING . $
04 < ( MOVING TO THE HALL ) > $
RIGHT , SIR . $
< ( JOHN EXITS DOWN THE CORRIDOR . $
CLARE ENTERS FROM THE BATHROOM , LOOKING IN A HAND-MIRROR )
> $
02 OH GOD , WHAT A MESS ! $
< ( SHE THROWS THE MIRROR ON THE BED ) > $
01 PERFECTION , DARLING , PERFECTION . $
02 HM . $
01 AH , ANDREW . $
I 'D LIKE YOU TO MEET MISS DORLATON-FINCH . $
CLARE , THIS IS ANDREW HUNTER . $
HE 'S THE EDITOR OF THE MAGAZINE I DO A WEEKLY COLUMN FOR .
$
< ( ANDREW AND CLARE SHAKE HANDS AND MUTTER GREETINGS ) > $
MISS DORLATON-FINCH IS JUST OFF , ANDREW . $
< ( HE GOES TO THE HALL ) > $
03 OH . $
WHAT A SHAME . $
02 YES , WELL , LOVELY MEETING YOU . $
< ( MOVING TO THE HALL ) > $
GODBYE MR - AH . $
03 GOOD-BYE , MISS - UM . $
01 GOOD-BYE , DARLING CLARE . $
02 AU REVOIR , YOU HORRIBLE MAN . $
01 I 'M SURE YOU 'LL BOTH BE DEEPLY HAPPY . $
02 I 'LL SEND YOU AN INVITATION TO THE WEDDING AND DON'T TUR
N UP WITH A TOAST-RACK AND A ROBERT DANVERS COOKBOOK . $
01 MAY I KISS THE BRIDE ? $
< ( HE KISSES CLARE ) > $
I 'LL RING YOU AFTER THE HONEYMOON . $
02 DO THAT . $
< ( CLARE EXITS . $
ROBERT COMES INTO THE ROOM ) > $
03 < ( SITTING IN THE CHAIR L ) > $
WHAT A SLOB YOU ARE . $
YOU TREAT YOUR SEX LIFE LIKE A CONTINUOUS WINE TASTING - ROL
L 'EM ROUND AND SPIT 'EM OUT . $
#7 $
01 < ( PICKING UP HIS SHOES AND MOVING TO THE BEDROOM ) > $
AFTER THESE BLASTED BEDTIME STORIES YOU 'RE DRAGGING ME OFF
TO A PARTY , AREN'T YOU ? $
< ( HE COLLECTS HIS SUIT , SHIRT , SOCKS AND SHOES FROM THE
DRESSING ROOM ) > $
03 YES . $
01 TOP UP YOUR DRINK WHILE I CHANGE . $
< ( HE COMES BACK INTO THE ROOM ) > $
WHERE IS THIS PARTY ? $
< ( ROBERT CHANGES DURING THE FOLLOWING SCENE ) > $
03 < ( POURING HIMSELF ANOTHER DRINK ) > $
BACK HERE . $
ROUND THE CORNER OFF THE KINGS ROAD SOMEWHERE . $
01 HELL'S EYEBROWS . $
< ( CHANGING KIS SHIRT ) > $
AND YOU 'RE DRAGGING ME ALL THE WAY OUT TO PUTNEY JUST TO RE
AD BEDTIME STORIES . $
03 YOU NEVER KNOW , YOU MIGHT EVEN ENJOY YOURSELF . $
BABAR THE ELEPHANT GETS PRETTY SAUCY IN PLACES . $
ANYWAY , IT 'S TIME YOU GAVE ALL THIS PHILANDERING UP , ROBE
RT . $
< ( MOVING L ) > $
HOW OLD ARE YOU NOW ? $
FORTY WHAT ? $
01 ABOUT THAT , YES . $
03 YOU WON'T LAST . $
YOU 'LL SNUFF IT PREMATURELY ONE DAY , LIKE THAT . $
< ( HE SNAPS HIS FINGERS ) > $
STIFF AS A BOARD , LEAVING SOME FEMALE TO DISPOSE OF YOUR RO
TTING CORPSE . $
< ( HE SITS ON THE L ARM OF THE SOFA ) > $
01 THAT 'S BETTER THAN DYING OF A HAG-RIDDEN OLD AGE , LEAVI
NG SOME FEMALE TO DISPOSE OF YOUR LIFE INSURANCE . $
03 IT 'S A FUNNY THING , BUT ALL YOU WOMANIZERS SEEM TO DESP
ISE WOMEN . $
01 DESPISE THEM ? $
MY DEAR FELLOW , THE SIGHT OF A NEW , BEAUTIFUL WOMAN AND TH
E CHALLENGE SHE PRESENTS IS - OH , BETTER THAN BEING CONFRON
TED WITH ALL THE GREAT DISHES OF THE WORLD COOKED BY ALL THE
 CHEFS IN HISTORY . $
03 < ( PUTTING HIS GLASS ON THE COFFEE-TABLE ) > $
HAVE YOU EVER TRIED MAKING FRIENDS WITH ONE ? $
01 FRIENDS ? $
YOU DON'T MAKE FRIENDS WITH A ROAST DUCK , YOU EAT IT . $
< ( ANDREW TAKES OUT SOME PAPERS ) > $
03 YOU MUST PUT THAT INTO ONE OF YOUR COLUMNS AND SEE HOW YO
UR LADY READERS ENJOY IT . $
HERE . $
THESE ARE FOR YOU . $
01 < ( PUTTING ON HIS SOCKS ) > $
WHAT 'S THAT ? $
03 YOUR AIR TICKET TO LYONS , YOUR PASS INTO THE FOIRE DES V
INS AT MACON , AND YOUR TIMETABLE FOR THE WEEK . $
01 THANK YOU . $
03 AFTER THE WINE TASTINGS WE WANT A STAFF REPORTER TO INTER
VIEW YOU . $
01 OH ? $
03 OVER A SLAP-UP MEAL , OF COURSE . $
01 I 'M ALL FOR THAT . $
#8 $
03 QUITE . $
OH , AND WE 'LL NEED A NEW PHOTOGRAPH OF YOU . $
01 < ( PUTTING HIS KEYS ON THE COFFEE-TABLE ) > $
ANOTHER ONE . $
WHAT FOR ? $
03 FOR THE COVER OF THE ROBERT DANVERS WINES AND FOODS EDITI
ON . $
01 YOU ARE PUTTING ONE ON THE COVER , THEN . $
03 YES , IN GLORIOUS TECHNICOLOR $
< ( HE PUTS THE AIR TICKET ON THE DIVIDER ) > $
AFTER ALL , YOU ARE THE SEXIEST GOURMET IN THE BUSINESS . $
01 QUITE . $
< ( ROBERT REMOVES HIS TROUSERS ) > $
03 I SAY , THEY 'RE VERY SHARP KNICKERS . $
DO THEY COST MUCH ? $
01 I DON'T KNOW . $
THEY WERE A PRESENT . $
PART OF A SET $
< ( HE PUTS ON HIS OTHER TROUSERS ) > $
03 AH , OF COURSE . $
ARE THEY PART OF THE GREAT SEDUCTIVE IMAGE , TOO ? $
01 NOT REALLY . $
BY THE TIME YOU GET TO THIS STAGE YOU 'RE HOME AND DRY . $
< ( PAOLA ENTERS THE CORRIDOR ) > $
03 HUH . $
AND PEOPLE SAY THAT WOMEN ARE EMANCIPATED . $
< ( PAOLA RINGS THE DOORBELL ) > $
MY GOD , GILLY . $
< ( MOVING R ) > $
SHE 'LL BE OUT OF HER MIND . $
< ( HE GOES TO THE DOOR AND OPENS IT ) > $
< ( ROBERT CLOSES THE BEDROOM SCREENS ) > $
05 SORRY , MR HUNTER . $
MRS HUNTER SAYS COULD YOU COME , PLEASE , AT ONCE . $
THE CHILDREN ARE BEING ... $
03 YES , YES . $
COME IN . $
< ( MOVING L ) > $
HEY , ROBERT , HOW LONG ARE YOU GOING TO BE ? $
GILLY WANTS TO KNOW . $
01 AH , GILLY . $
HALLO . $
< ( HE PUTS HIS HEAD ROUND THE SCREEN ) > $
JUST CHANGING INTO MY BEST BIB AND - OH . $
< ( HE STARES ) > $
05 HOW DO YOU DO . $
THE CHILDREN ASK , WHEN WILL YOU COME , MR DANVERS . $
01 HM ? $
03 THIS IS OUR NEW AU PAIR , PAOLA . $
SHE 'S ITALIAN AND OF A VERY GOOD FAMILY . $
01 YES , I CAN SEE THAT . $
I 'LL BE WITH YOU IN A MOMENT . $
DO SIT DOWN . $
ANDREW , SEE THAT MISS - PAOLA GETS A DRINK , WOULD YOU . $
< ( HE RETURNS TO THE BEDROOM ) > $
< ( PAOLA GOES TO SIT ON THE SOFA ) > $
03 NO . $
NO DRINKS . $
GO AND TELL MY WIFE THAT WE 'RE COMING RIGHT NOW , WOULD YOU
 ? $
05 YES , MR HUNTER . $
03 < ( USHERING PAOLA TO THE HALL ) > $
OFF YOU GO , THEN . $
VITE . $
SCHNELL . $
MUSH . $
WHATEVER IT IS . $
< ( ROBERT CHECKS HIMSELF IN THE MIRROR CLARE THREW ONTO THE
 BED , THEN PUTS IT ON THE BEDSIDE TABLE R ) > $
#9 $
05 YES , MR HUNTER . $
< ( PAOLA EXITS R , LEAVING THE DOOR OPEN . $
ROBERT OPENS THE SCREENS ) > $
01 WELL NOW . $
IS HE TAKING GOOD CARE OF ... $
WHERE IS SHE ? $
03 I SENT HER BACK . $
01 WHAT DID YOU DO THAT FOR ? $
03 < ( SITTING ON THE R ARM OF THE SOFA ) > $
DON'T WORRY . $
YOU 'LL SEE HER DOWNSTAIRS . $
SHE WON'T HAVE AGED MUCH . $
01 MY DEAR FELLOW , SHE 'S GORGEOUS , ISN'T SHE ? $
03 HM ? $
YES , I SUPPOSE SO . $
01 < ( DOING UP HIS TIE ) > $
YOU CAN'T WANDER ABOUT LIKE THAT - JUST INDIFFERENT . $
< ( ANDREW SHRUGS ) > $
I NOW KNOW WHY MARRIED MEN LIVE LONGER . $
THEY 'RE HALF-DEAD ALREADY . $
03 LOOK HERE , I CAN APPRECIATE A GIRL'S LOOKS JUST AS WELL
AS YOU , WITHOUT ACTUALLY LATHERING UP . $
< ( ROBERT LAUGHS ) > $
01 < ( PICKING UP HIS KEYS ) > $
I SUPPOSE INDIFFERENCE IS THE PRELUDE TO INCAPABILITY . $
03 WHAT ? $
01 OF COURSE , THAT 'S WHY YOU 'VE BEEN BREEDING SO BUSILY .
 $
YOUR FINAL FLURRY OF FECUNDITY BEFORE ... $
< ( HE PUTS HIS THUMBS DOWN AND MAKES A DEATH RATTLE ) > $
03 < ( DEEPLY OFFENDED ) > $
AND WHAT ABOUT YOU ? $
THE GREAT CONNOISSEUR OF WINE , WOMEN AND TWO VEG . $
IF YOU DIDN'T NIP OFF TO THAT HEALTH FARM IN HAMPSHIRE EVERY
 FIVE MINUTES TO HAVE YOUR FLUE RAKED OUT , YOU 'D HAVE CLIN
KERED UP YEARS AGO . $
01 HARK WHO 'S TALKING . $
YOUR WICK COULD DO WITH A TRIM . $
03 AND AS FOR YOUR PIPES . $
< ( RISING ) > $
HOW THE BLOOD GETS THROUGH THEM , GOD KNOWS . $
AND YOU 'RE FLABBY . $
01 < ( PUTTING ON HIS SOCKS ) > $
HA . $
THAT 'S SOLID MUSCLE . $
03 THAT IS FAT . $
01 YOU 'RE PRACTICALLY SCRAGGY . $
03 SCRAGGY ? $
I 'M IN THE PEAK OF CONDITION . $
01 < ( PUTTING ON HIS SHOES ) > $
A FIVER SAYS I 'M FITTER . $
03 ONLY FIVE ? $
HA . $
I 'LL TAKE YOU ON ANY TIME YOU LIKE . $
01 HERE AND NOW . $
03 RIGHT . $
01 < ( MALICIOUSLY ) > $
YOUR WIFE 'S WAITING . $
03 BLAST MY WIFE . $
NOW , WHAT SHALL WE DO FOR A TRIAL ? $
I KNOW , PRESS-UPS . $
01 YOU MEAN , LIKE ... $
< ( HE MAKES AN ARM MOVEMENT ) > $
03 THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT I MEAN . $
HUH . $
THIS 'LL BE THE EASIEST FIVER I 'VE EVER EARNED IN MY LIFE .
 $
#10 $
< ( THEY MOVE THE COFFEE-TABLE A LITTLE UPSTAGE ) > $
01 HA . $
WE 'LL MAKE IT TEN , IF YOU FEEL LIKE THAT . $
< ( THEY PUT THEIR FIVERS ON THE COFFEE-TABLE ) > $
03 < ( AIRILY ) > $
NO , NO . $
I DON'T WANT TO TAKE ADVANTAGE . $
01 WINDY . $
< ( THEY TAKE OFF THEIR JACKETS AND PUT THEM ON THE SOFA ) >
 $
03 < ( MOVING RC ) > $
RIGHT . $
WE KEEP EVEN TIME . $
THE FIRST ONE TO FLAG OR DROP OUT LOSES . $
RIGHT ? $
< ( HE CLAPS ) > $
01 < ( CLAPS ) > $
RIGHT . $
< ( THEY BOTH START TO COOL DOWN AND GET WORRIED . $
THEY CLAP ONCE MORE EACH , THEN STAND IRRESOLUTELY ) > $
03 WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR ? $
01 YOU . $
03 I 'M READY . $
01 < ( MOVING UP LC ) > $
RIGHT . $
03 RIGHT . $
< ( THEY KNEEL ; ROBERT BEHIND THE SOFA ) > $
OI . $
COME ON , OVER HERE , FACING EACH OTHER , WHERE I CAN KEEP A
N EYE ON YOU . $
READY ? $
< ( ROBERT MOVES BELOW THE SOFA , FACING ANDREW ) > $
01 READY . $
03 STEADY ? $
01 STEADY . $
03 GO . $
< ( THEY DO TWO PRESS-UPS , COUNTING . $
ANDREW BARELY MOVES . $
THEY GET TO ABOUT FIVE . $
ROBERT IS RESTING HIS KNEES ON THE FLOOR . $
ANDREW HAS HIS BOTTOM STICKING UP ) > $
GET YOUR KNEES OFF THE FLOOR . $
01 GET YOUR ARSE OFF THE CEILING . $
< ( ANDREW IS IN BY FAR THE WORSE STATE . $
PAOLA ENTERS AND STANDS BY THE DOOR FOR A MOMENT , NONPLUSSE
D ) > $
05 ER - MR HUNTER . $
EXCUSE , BUT - MR HUNTER . $
< ( SHE TAPS ANDREW ON THE BOTTOM ) > $
03 AH ! $
< ( HE COLLAPSES ) > $
01 I WIN . $
< ( HE HAULS HIMSELF TO HIS FEET ) > $
03 FOUL - I WAS INTERFERED WITH . $
05 MRS HUNTER HAS MUCH ANGER , MR HUNTER . $
< ( ANDREW TRIES TO SPEAK , BUT CAN'T . $
VERY EXHAUSTED , HE PICKS UP THE MONEY AND GIVES ROBERT HIS
FIVER ) > $
#11 $
03 IT 'S - IT - IT 'S A DRAW . $
01 A DRAW ? $
03 < ( PICKING UP HIS JACKET AND MOVING TO THE HALL ) > $
MATCH ABANDONED . $
01 HERE AND NOW . $
WE AGREED . $
03 I - GILLY - MY WIFE - SHE 'S DOWN - WAIT ... $
SHE ... $
COME ON PAO - LA - OH ... $
< ( ANDREW STAGGERS OUT , UNABLE TO GET HIS BREATH . $
PAOLA MAKES TO FOLLOW ) > $
01 JUST A MINUTE , PAOLA . $
WOULD YOU PLEASE GIVE ME A HAND TO MOVE THIS ? $
< ( LINGERING OVER THE NAME ) > $
PAOLA . $
WHAT A LOVELY NAME . $
05 THANK YOU . $
< ( PAOLA AND ROBERT MOVE THE COFFEE-TABLE BACK INTO POSITIO
N ) > $
01 TELL ME . $
DO YOU SPEAK ENGLISH ? $
05 A SMALL . $
01 HOW VERY CLEVER OF YOU . $
05 THANK YOU . $
01 DO YOU LIKE CHINESE FOOD ? $
05 SI . $
A LOT . $
01 < ( GIVING HER HIS CARD ) > $
MY PHONE NUMBER . $
IT WOULD BE INDISCREET FOR ME TO PHONE YOU AT THEIR HOUSE .
$
05 SO ? $
01 IF YOU PHONE ME AT THIS NUMBER , WE WILL EAT THE MOST WON
DERFUL CHINESE MEAL - TOGETHER . $
05 OH ? $
01 AND AFTERWARDS - WHO KNOWS ? $
05 THAT SOUNDS VERY NICE . $
01 MY GOD , BUT YOU 'RE LOVELY . $
05 < ( SMILING ) > $
THANK YOU . $
< ( THEY MOVE TO THE HALL ) > $
01 HAVE YOU BEEN IN ENGLAND LONG ? $
05 A WEEK . $
01 A WEEK . $
BUT YOU CAN'T HAVE SEEN ANYTHING YET . $
I MUST SHOW YOU - $
< ( ROBERT AND PAOLA EXIT R . $
THE LIGHTS FADE TO A BLACK-OUT . $
AFTER A PAUSE , THE LIGHTS COME UP IN THE CORRIDOR . $
ROBERT AND MARION ENTER . $
HE UNLOCKS THE DOOR INTO THE ROOM AND LETS HER IN , TURNING
ON THE SITTING-ROOM LIGHTS ) > $
01 HERE WE ARE . $
LET ME TAKE YOUR THINGS . $
< ( MARION IGNORES HIM AND GOES INTO THE SITTING-ROOM . $
SHE LOOKS AT HER WATCH AND CHECKS IT WITH A CLOCK ON THE DIV
IDER . $
HE LOOKS AT HIMSELF BRIEFLY IN THE HALL MIRROR , THEN FOLLOW
S HER IN . $
HE TURNS ON THE RECORD-PLAYER . $
SHE LOOKS ROUND . $
#12 $
SHE SEES HIM WATCHING HER , SMILES BRIEFLY AND CONTINUES TO
LOOK ROUND THE ROOM WITH DETACHED CURIOSITY . $
NOT SURPRISED OR IMPRESSED . $
ROBERT , WHILE REMAINING SCRUPULOUSLY POLITE , HAS A CONTAIN
ED EXITEMENT THAT COMES FROM BEING FAIRLY CERTAIN HE IS ABOU
T TO HAVE A NEW , ATTRACTIVE WOMAN ) > $
DO YOU APPROVE ? $
< ( MARION SHRUGS ) > $
< ( SMUGLY ) > $
IT 'S VERY COMFORTABLE . $
< ( MARION GLANCES AT HIM , TAKING IN HIS ATTITUDE ) > $
DRINK ? $
< ( SHE NODS ) > $
WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE ? $
06 THERE 'S A CHOICE , OF COURSE . $
01 OF COURSE . $
< ( MARION SNORTS LOUDLY AT SOME PRIVATE JOKE . $
A LONG SNORING SOUND ) > $
06 A BIG ONE ? $
01 REASONABLE . $
SHERRY , BRANDY , WHISKY , SCOTCH OR RYE ; A FEW LIQUEURS ;
VODKA , DUBONNET , CAMPARI , SLIVOVITZ , PORT , SAKI , OUZO
: OR WE COULD SPLIT A BOTTLE OF CHAMPAGNE OR SOME OTHER WINE
 IF YOU LIKE . $
WELL ? $
06 GOT ANY BEER ? $
01 NO , BUT THERE 'S SOME METHS IN THE CLEANING CUPBOARD IF
YOU CARE FOR IT . $
06 I 'LL HAVE A BIT OF EVERYTHING . $
01 < ( SMILING ) > $
ARE YOU TRYING TO BE DIFFICULT ? $
06 YES . $
01 IT 'S NOT A MIXTURE I RECOMMEND . $
06 NO . $
BUT CAN I HAVE IT ? $
01 IF YOU REALLY WANT TO . $
< ( SHE SNORTS AGAIN ) > $
06 WHISKY . $
< ( SHE STARTS TO TAKE OFF HER COAT ) > $
01 SODA , OR WATER ? $
06 NOTHING . $
01 LET ME TAKE YOU COAT . $
06 < ( SUDDENLY EAGER ) > $
NO , I WILL . $
WHERE ? $
< ( RUNNING TO THE HALL ) > $
OUT HERE ? $
01 YES . $
IN THAT CUPBOARD . $
< ( MARION HANGS HER COAT IN THE HALL CUPBOARD . $
HE STARES AT HER , SURPRISED AT HER SUDDEN VITALITY . $
SHE STARES BACK AT HIM . $
HE POURS A DRINK ) > $
06 OH , I WILL HAVE SOME WATER . $
#13 $
< ( ROBERT GOES TO THE KITCHEN . $
MARION GOES INTO THE HALL , LOOKING FOR SOMETHING . $
SHE CAN'T FIND IT , AND AS QUIETLY AS SHE CAN SHE OPENS THE
FRONT DOOR OF THE FLAT . $
SHE LOOKS AT THE OUTSIDE OF THE DOOR AND THE WALL BESIDE IT
. $
ROBERT RETURNS FROM THE KITCHEN ) > $
01 ARE YOU ALL RIGHT ? $
< ( SHE JUMPS , AND COMES IN ) > $
IS ANYTHING WRONG ? $
06 NO . $
01 WERE YOU LEAVING ? $
06 JUST LARKING ABOUT . $
01 PLEASE DO , IF YOU WISH . $
06 WHAT ? $
01 LEAVE . $
06 DO YOU WANT ME TO ? $
01 NO , OF COURSE NOT . $
< ( SHE CONSIDERS , THEN CLOSES THE DOOR AND PUTS HER BAG ON
 THE CHAIR RC ) > $
SAY WHEN . $
< ( HE IS ABOUT TO POUR , BUT SHE TAKES THE WHISKY BEFORE HE
 CAN PUT ANY WATER IN , THEN CROSSES L ) > $
06 YOU MUST BE LOADED . $
01 HM ? $
06 < ( LOOKING ROUND ) > $
WELL . $
01 I AM WHAT I BELIEVE IS DESCRIBED AS COMFORTABLY OFF . $
06 < ( GIVING THE SNORT AGAIN ) > $
I 'LL BET IT IS . $
< ( SHE DRINKS HER WHISKY AT ONE GULP ) > $
CHEERS . $
01 DO SIT DOWN . $
< ( HE INDICATES THE CHAIR L , THEN POURS HIMSELF A WHISKY )
 > $
< ( SHE DELIBERATELY SELECTS THE SOFA R , LEAVING ROOM FOR H
IM . $
HE CONSIDERS , THEN HE SITS DOWN L , FACING HER . $
SHE NOTES THIS AND LOOKS AT HER WATCH . $
HE LOOKS AT HIS , PUZZLED ) > $
THAT WAS QUITE A PARTY , WASN'T IT ? $
< ( SHE SHRUGS ) > $
DO YOU GO TO MANY LIKE THAT ? $
06 DO YOU ? $
01 NO . $
I 'D HATE TO LIVE NEXT DOOR TO THAT CROWD . $
WHAT A RACKET ? $
< ( SHE GRUNTS NON-COMMITALLY ) > $
YOU COULD HEAR THAT DRUMMER HALF-WAY DOWN THE STREET . $
06 < ( ALL AT A RUSH ) > $
HE 'S NOT VERY GOOD . $
01 NO , I DIDN'T THINK HE ... $
06 TOO EXHIBITIONIST . $
HE 'S BEEN PLAYING ONE-NIGHT STANDS WITH POP GROUPS , AND IT
 'S GONE TO HIS HEAD A BIT . $
#14 $
01 I SEE ... $
06 ANYWAY , HE 'S REALLY ONLY A LINO-LAYER . $
01 AH - $
06 HE USED TO BE BETTER . $
COULD I HAVE ANOTHER ONE , PLEASE ? $
01 < ( PUTTING HIS GLASS ON THE FLOOR AND RISING ) > $
OF COURSE . $
< ( HE TAKES HER GLASS ) > $
< ( SHE TAKES A CIGARETTE FROM THE COFFEE-TABLE ) > $
06 CAN I HAVE A CIGARETTE ? $
01 I 'M TERRIBLY SORRY . $
I SHOULD HAVE GIVEN YOU ONE . $
IT WAS THE BUSINESS WITH THE DOOR . $
< ( HE LIGHTS IT FOR HER ) > $
WERE YOU LEAVING JUST NOW ? $
06 DID YOU THINK I WAS ? $
01 < ( MOVING TO THE DRINKS ) > $
I WASN'T SURE . $
06 I WAS LOOKING FOR YOUR NAME ON THE DOOR . $
OR A LETTER TO YOU . $
01 OH ? $
WHAT FOR ? $
06 TO KEEP ONE UP ON YOU FOR A BIT LONGER . $
01 TO KEEP ONE UP ON ME ? $
06 BY FINDING OUT YOUR NAME . $
01 < ( NOT UNDERSTANDING ) > $
AH . $
YOU MEAN YOU DON'T KNOW MY NAME ? $
06 NO . $
01 NOR WHO I AM ? $
06 SHOULD I ? $
01 < ( MOVING R OF HER WITH HER DRINK ) > $
IT 'S JUST THAT I WAS UNDER THE IMPRESSION THAT YOU DID KNOW
 WHEN YOU CAME WITH ME . $
06 WHAT IS IT , THEN ? $
01 < ( SMUGLY ) > $
I AM ROBERT DANVERS . $
< ( HE EXPECTS A REACTION ) > $
06 OH , THAT 'S NICE FOR YOU . $
WHO AM I ? $
01 I 'VE NO IDEA . $
06 SEE ? $
01 < ( MOVING ABOVE THE SOFA TO L OF IT ) > $
IT WASN'T THAT SORT OF PARTY . $
WE WEREN'T EXACTLY FORMALLY INTRODUCED . $
NO ONE BANGED ON THE FLOOR WHEN I ENTERED AND SAID " ROBERT
DANVERS " . $
< ( SHE STILL DOES NOT REACT ) > $
NO ONE WOULD HAVE HEARD ANYWAY , I SUPPOSE . $
WHAT IS YOUR NAME ? $
06 MARION . $
01 WHAT A LOVELY NAME . $
06 WHAT ? $
01 MARION . $
IT 'S A BEAUTIFUL NAME . $
< ( SHE LOOKS AT HIM AS IF HE 'S OUT OF HIS MIND , THEN LOOK
S AT HER WATCH . $
HE DOES THE SAME WITH HIS , PUZZLED ) > $
YOU DIDN'T SEEM TO BE WITH ANYONE IN PARTICULAR . $
WERE YOU ? $
#15 $
06 GETTING ROUND , WAS I ? $
01 SORT OF . $
06 TILL YOU PICKED ME UP . $
01 NOW WAIT A MINUTE . $
WHEN A STRANGE GIRL COMES UP TO ME AT A STRANGE PARTY AND SA
YS : " HOW FAR AWAY DO YOU LIVE ? " AND I SAY : " TEN MINUTE
S ' WALK OR TWO MINUTES BY TAXI " AND SHE SAYS : " WE 'LL TA
KE A TAXI " , I DON'T CALL THAT PICKING HER UP . $
06 I NOTICED WHEN I ASKED WHERE YOU LIVED YOU DIDN'T SAY WHE
RE ; YOU DESCRIBED HOW TO GET THERE . $
01 A FIGURE OF SPEECH . $
06 < ( SNORTING AGAIN ) > $
I 'LL BET YOU COULDN'T BELIEVE YOUR LUCK , - KERPLONK - RIGH
T IN YOUR LAP . $
COULD I HAVE ANOTHER ONE , PLEASE ? $
< ( SHE HOLDS OUT HER GLASS ) > $
01 ARE YOU TRYING TO GET TIGHT ? $
06 DON'T WORRY . $
IT TAKES A LOT MORE THAN THIS . $
01 < ( RISING AND TAKING HER GLASS TO THE DRINKS ) > $
AT LEAST IT 'S BETTER FOR YOU THAN THAT STUFF THEY WERE DRIN
KING AT THE PARTY . $
06 IT WAS PUNCH . $
HOME-MADE . $
01 FROM WHAT , I WONDER . $
06 ALL THE BOTTLES THAT PEOPLE BROUGHT , JUST EMPTIED IN , S
AME AS USUAL . $
DIDN'T YOU SEE IT ? $
01 NO . $
< ( HE HANDS HER HER DRINK ) > $
06 IT WAS IN THE BATH . $
01 SO THAT 'S WHAT THAT WAS . $
< ( MOVES ABOVE THE SOFA THEN TURNS ) > $
THERE WAS A GIRL PADDLING IN IT . $
06 YEAH . $
I CAN'T STAND HER . $
ALL MOUTH AND TROUSERS . $
SOME PIMPLY GUARDSMAN SHE 'D PICKED UP SAID HE 'D LICK HER F
EET DRY IF SHE PADDLED IN IT . $
ERGH . $
THEY 'RE SO SHOW-OFFY , THAT SORT . $
01 < ( MOVING DOWN L ) > $
OH , I DON'T KNOW . $
AS A GESTURE , IT HAS A CERTAIN - SAVOIR-FAIRE . $
06 ANYWAY , SOMEONE SAT HER DOWN IN IT . $
THAT SETTLED THEM BOTH . $
01 AS YOU 'RE OBVIOUSLY GOING TO POUR THAT STUFF DOWN YOU ,
WOULD YOU CARE FOR SOMETHING TO EAT ? $
06 WHY , CAN YOU COOK ? $
01 WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE ? $
WITHIN REASON . $
06 I 'LL HAVE A PIECE OF BREAD . $
01 JUST BREAD ? $
06 DRY . $
TO SOAK UP THIS . $
< ( ROBERT GOES TO THE KITCHEN ) > $
CAN I TURN THIS ROW OFF ? $
01 DON'T YOU LIKE IT ? $
06 < ( RISING ) > $
NOT MUCH . $
01 WERE YOU ALONE ? $
06 WHAT ? $
< ( SHE TURNS OFF THE RECORD-PLAYER ) > $
01 AT THE PARTY ? $
06 WERE YOU ? $
#16 $
01 WE 'RE TALKING ABOUT YOU . $
06 YOU ARE , YOU MEAN . $
I 'M TALKING ABOUT YOU . $
< ( ROBERT RETURNS FROM THE KITCHEN , CARRYING THE BREADKNIF
E ) > $
01 SO YOU ARE . $
NO , I WAS WITH SOME FRIENDS . $
WE GOT SEPARATED . $
I GOT INTO THE WRONG PARTY BY MISTAKE . $
< ( ROBERT GOES INTO THE KITCHEN ) > $
06 OH , YES , I DIDN'T THINK OF THAT . $
I KNEW YOU DIDN'T BELONG , BUT I THOUGHT SOMEONE MUST HAVE B
ROUGHT YOU . $
SOME OF THOSE GIRLS GET THE ODDEST FELLERS . $
< ( ROBERT RETURNS WITH A PIECE OF BREAD ON A PLATE ) > $
01 I WOULD HAVE THOUGHT I WAS THE ONLY NORMAL ONE THERE . $
06 DEPENDS ON YOUR IDEA OF NORMALITY , DOESN'T IT ? $
01 YES , I SUPPOSE IT DOES . $
WE HAD THE RIGHT HOUSE , BUT THE WRONG FLAT . $
YOUR DO WAS IN THE BASEMENT , OURS WAS UP ON TOP . $
06 BUT OF COURSE . $
01 < ( GIVING MARION THE BREAD ) > $
YOUR BREAD . $
06 < ( SITTING C ON THE SOFA ) > $
THANK YOU . $
SLICE OFF A CUT LOAF . $
DEAD RIGHT . $
01 < ( SITTING ON THE R ARM OF THE SOFA ) > $
WHO WERE YOU WITH ? $
06 NO ONE . $
WHY ? $
01 WHO INVITED YOU ? $
06 NO ONE . $
WHY ? $
01 I WAS JUST WONDERING ABOUT YOU . $
06 WHY ? $
01 I WAS INTERESTED . $
06 IN WHAT ? $
01 WHY DO YOU ALWAYS ANSWER A QUESTION WITH A QUESTION ? $
06 WHY DO YOU ? $
01 YES . $
WOULD YOU LIKE ANOTHER DRINK ? $
06 ARE YOU TRYING TO GET ME TIGHT ? $
01 < ( RISING AND MOVING L ABOVE THE SOFA ) > $
YOU 'RE FRIGHTENEING ENOUGH SOBER . $
06 < ( HOLDING OUT HER GLASS ) > $
YES , PLEASE . $
01 < ( REFILLING HER GLASS ) > $
WERE YOU WITH THAT CHAP WHO YOU WERE CHATTING WITH IN THE KI
TCHEN WHEN I WALKED IN ? $
06 SNOGGING WITH , YOU MEAN ? $
01 I SUPPOSE I DO . $
06 NO . $
HE JUST HAPPENED TO BE PASSING . $
01 I THOUGHT YOU SEEMED TO HAVE LOST HIM , WHEN YOU CAME UP
TO ME LATER . $
06 WELL , I WOULD HAVE , WOULDN'T I ? $
< ( ROBERT BRINGS HER DRINK , HANDS IT TO HER AND SITS BESID
E HER ON THE SOFA , RELAXING EASILY . $
MARION LOOKS AT HER WATCH . $
SO DOES HE ) > $
#17 $
01 MIND YOU , IN THAT PARTY YOU COULD HAVE LOST NELSON'S COL
UMN . $
WHAT WAS THAT DANCE THEY WERE ALL DOING ? $
06 WHICH ONE ? $
01 I 'M NOT SURE . $
THERE WAS ONE WHERE YOU STAND STILL AND JUST WOBBLE . $
A GIRL STOOD IN FRONT OF ME DOING IT . $
I THOUGHT SHE 'D DROPPED A LIGHTED CIGARETTE DOWN AND WAS TR
YING TO WORK IT THROUGH . $
06 LIKE THIS , YOU MEAN . $
< ( SHE STARTS TO DEMONSTRATE , SITTING DOWN ) > $
01 THAT 'S THE ONE . $
06 OH . $
< ( SHE SPILLS SOME WHISKY ON HERSELF ) > $
01 HERE . $
QUICKLY . $
BEFORE IT DRIES . $
< ( HE HANDS HER HIS HANDKERCHIEF ) > $
< ( SHE SITS STILL , OFFERING HER LEFT SHOULDER . $
HE WIPES IT , METICULOUSLY UNSEXY ; CONCENTRATING ON THE JOB
 , WHILE SHE STARES AT HIM . $
HE FINISHES ) > $
THERE . $
< ( THEY REMAIN CLOSE FOR A WHILE , STARING EVENLY AT EACH O
THER . $
THEN HE SMILES AND HOLDS OUT HIS HAND ) > $
WOULD YOU CARE FOR SOME MORE ? $
06 < ( GIVING HIM HER GLASS ) > $
THANK YOU . $
< ( HE RISES TO REFILL IT , CHUCKLING TO HIMSELF ) > $
WHAT 'S FUNNY ? $
01 NOTHING . $
I THOUGHT THE IDEA OF GOING DANCING WAS TO GET TO KNOW PEOPL
E . $
NOT TO STAND ON YOUR OWN WAVING YOUR LIMBS ABOUT . $
06 THE IDEA OF GOING DANCING IS TO DANCE . $
WAVING YOUR LIMBS ABOUT IS DANCING . $
IF YOU WANT TO GET TO KNOW PEOPLE TURN THE MUSIC OFF AND TAL
K . $
01 YES . $
HA . $
< ( MOVING L OF HER ) > $
YOUNG PEOPLE ARE ACCUSED OF ALL SORTS OF THINGS , BUT AT LEA
ST YOU DON'T USE DANCING AS AN EXCUSE FOR A CRAFTY CUDDLE LI
KE PEOPLE USED TO . $
< ( HE GIVES HER HER DRINK AS HE CLOSES IN ON HER ) > $
06 YOU SOUND JUST LIKE MY FATHER . $
< ( ROBERT LOOKS AS THOUGH HE 'S BEEN KICKED BETWEEN THE EYE
S . $
HE PULLS HIMSELF TOGETHER ) > $
01 THANK YOU . $
< ( HE GOES AND SITS IN HIS OWN CHAIR ) > $
06 OH , I 'VE UPSET YOU . $
01 NO . $
06 YOU 'RE OFFENDED . $
01 NO , I 'M SURE IT WAS TRUE . $
06 BUT YOU 'RE STILL OFFENDED . $
01 < ( SMILING ) > $
I 'M NOT , I TELL YOU . $
< ( HE PICKS UP HIS GLASS ) > $
06 THEN WHY HAVE YOU GONE BACK THERE ? $
01 BECAUSE - IT 'S MORE COMFORTABLE HERE . $
< ( SHE SNORTS AGAIN ) > $
#18 $
AND I CAN SEE YOU . $
YOU 'RE VERY NICE TO LOOK AT . $
06 < ( PULLING A FACE AND STICKING HER TONGUE OUT AS THOUGH
BEING SICK ) > $
BLURGH . $
01 STUNNING IS THE WORD THAT SPRINGS TO MIND . $
06 HA . $
< ( SHE LOOKS AT HER WATCH AGAIN . $
SO DOES HE AT HIS ) > $
01 HAVE YOU GOT TO GET HOME ? $
06 WHY ? $
01 YOU KEEP LOOKING AT YOUR WATCH . $
06 I 'M TIMING YOU . $
01 AH . $
< ( HE LAUGHS GOOD-NATUREDLY . $
IT DIES IN HIS THROAT AS HE REALIZES . $
HE FREEZES ) > $
TIMING ME ! $
06 WELL , YOU DIDN'T BRING ME BACK HERE TO LOOK AT ME . $
01 YOU BROUGHT ME. $
06 OH , YOU POOR OLD THING . $
IN A MINUTE YOU 'LL BE SHOUTING " RAPE " . $
01 ONLY IF YOU GIVE ME CAUSE . $
06 YOU 'RE QUITE OLDE WORLDE REALLY , AREN'T YOU ? $
WHEN YOU SAW ME SNOGGING WITH BRIAN IN THE KITCHEN YOUR FACE
 WAS A PICTURE . $
A DIRTY ONE , TOO . $
THEN WHEN YOU GOT ME BACK HERE IT TOOK YOU NINE MINUTES THIR
TY TWO SECONDS TO MAKE A REMARK THAT WAS EVEN REMOTELY CONNE
CTED WITH SEX . $
01 WHAT 'S THAT GOT TO DO WITH IT ? $
06 THERE 'S ALWAYS A BIT OF CHAT ABOUT SEX BEFORE THE ACTUAL
 PASS . $
I SUPPOSE IT 'S TO GET YOU IN THE MOOD . $
01 TO GET WHO IN THE MOOD ? $
06 THE GIRL . $
YOU 'RE ALREADY IN IT . $
THAT 'S WHY YOU MENTIONED ABOUT ME SNOGGING WITH BRIAN . $
TO JOG MY SEXUAL MEMORY . $
01 GO ON . $
06 < ( RISING AND STUBBING OUT HER CIGARETTE ) > $
THEN HAVING ACTUALLY GOT SOMETHING OUT ABOUT SEX - YOU CAME
AND SAT NEXT TO ME . $
THAT ONLY TOOK TWENTY SECONDS . $
SO I MADE THINGS EASY FOR YOU BY SPILLING THE DRINK . $
< ( SHE PERCHES ON THE R ARM OF THE SOFA ) > $
YOU FELT CONFIDENT THEN . $
IN FACT , YOU WERE SO CONFIDENT YOU HAD TO HAVE A LITTLE LAU
GH TO LET OFF A BIT OF STEAM . $
YOU THOUGHT YOU WERE HOME AND DRY , SO I DECIDED TO MAKE THA
T REMARK ABOUT YOU SOUNDING LIKE MY FATHER . $
HA . $
IT WORKED A TREAT . $
FLERGH . $
< ( SHE GESTURES LIKE A BALLOON COLLAPSING , THEN FALLS INTO
 THE SOFA ) > $
BUT YOU CAME BACK WITH A COMPLIMENT . $
THAT 'S NOT BAD . $
OH , YOU DID PAY ME A COMPLIMENT EARLIER , BUT I DECIDED NOT
 TO COUNT IT . $
01 WHY ? $
06 FANCY SAYING : " MARION IS A VERY BEAUTIFUL NAME . " $
THAT 'S GOING TOO FAR . $
I SHOULD DROP THAT LINE IF I WERE YOU . $
01 SHOULD I ? $
06 YES . $
01 THANK YOU . $
06 MIND YOU , I SUPPOSE YOU 'RE A SPECIAL CASE . $
MOST OF THE FELLERS I KNOW WOULD HAVE MADE A GRAB AS SOON AS
 WE WALKED THROUGH THE DOOR . $
#19 $
THEY 'RE TOO LAZY TO CHAT YOU UP . $
THEY GO AROUND WEARING JEANS AND ALL THE TIGHT GEAR , AND YO
U 'RE EXPECTED TO HAVE A GOOD LOOK AT THE GOODS AND MAKE UP
YOUR OWN MIND . $
BUT YOU - NOT HAVING A GREAT DEAL TO ACTUALLY DISPLAY , IF Y
OU SEE WHAT I MEAN , - HAVE TO BRING ME HOME , PROVE YOU 'RE
 LOADED , THEN DROP SOME BIG HINTS ABOUT WHO YOU ARE SO THAT
 I 'M GOING TO BE ALL IMPRESSED AND RUSH BACK TO MY GIRL FRI
ENDS AND SAY : " HEY FELLERS , GUESS WHO DID ME THE BIG FAVO
UR LAST NIGHT " . $
01 < ( AFTER A PAUSE ) > $
YOU DON'T EVEN LIKE ME , DO YOU ? $
06 I DON'T KNOW YOU . $
01 I MEAN , YOU DON'T LIKE THE LOOK OF ME . $
< ( SHE SHRUGS NON-COMMITTALLY ) > $
06 YOU 'RE NO CHICKEN , ARE YOU ? $
01 THEN WHY DID YOU COME WITH ME ? $
06 WHY DID YOU ? $
01 I DID LIKE THE LOOK OF YOU . $
06 FANCIED ME , YOU MEAN . $
01 SAME THING , DIFFERENT LANGUAGE . $
06 I SUPPOSE . $
01 SO , WHY DID YOU ? $
06 BECAUSE YOU WERE THE MOST UNLIKELY ONE THERE . $
01 I SEE . $
AND IF I WERE TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU NOW , WHAT WOULD YOUR RE
ACTION BE ? $
06 HA . $
NOW YOU 'RE REALLY PLAYING IT SAFE . $
YOU WANT TO KNOW THE RESULT BEFORE YOU 'VE PLACED YOUR BET .
 $
WHAT DO YOU RECKON THE ODDS ARE ? $
01 YOU HAVE A REMARKABLY PRECISE USE OF WORDS FOR ONE SO YOU
NG . $
06 OH , I 'M QUITE BRIGHT . $
01 MAY I ASK YOU A QUESTION WITHOUT GETTING A QUESTION IN RE
PLY ? $
06 DEPENDS . $
01 WHY DID YOU SAY JUST NOW THAT YOU WANTED TO KEEP ONE UP O
N ME FOR A BIT LONGER . $
06 SUPPLY AND DEMAND , I SUPPOSE . $
WHEN SOMETHING 'S IN DEMAND IT 'S A SELLERS' MARKET . $
THE PERSON WHO 'S GOT IT IS ONE UP . $
I 'M IN DEMAND AND UNTIL I SUPPLY I 'M ONE UP . $
01 AND " FOR A BIT LONGER " . $
06 < ( SHRUGS ) > $
WELL , THE FINAL RESULT IS NEVER IN MUCH DOUBT REALLY , IS I
T ? $
< ( THERE IS A PAUSE , THEN ROBERT LAUGHS AGAIN ) > $
YOU KNOW , YOU WANT TO WATCH THAT LITTLE LAUGH . $
IT 'S A DEAD GIVEAWAY . $
01 I DON'T THINK I COULD CROSS THAT BIT OF FLOOR BETWEEN US
ANY MORE THAN CLIMB EVEREST . $
06 DON'T WORRY , YOU 'LL MANAGE , SOONER OR LATER . $
#20 $
01 YOU 'RE SO COLD-BLOODED . $
06 WHAT ABOUT YOU ? $
01 < ( INDIGNANT ) > $
ME ? $
I WAS BEING THOROUGHLY CIRCUMSPECT . $
06 DO YOU WANT TO MARRY ME ? $
01 EH ? $
06 DO YOU ? $
01 NO . $
06 OF COURSE YOU DON'T . $
DO YOU WANT TO PAY FOR IT ? $
01 PAY FOR - GOOD GOD , ARE YOU ... $
06 NO . $
I 'M JUST ESTABLISHING . $
YOU DON'T WANT COMMITMENTS AND YOU 'RE TOO STINGY TO PAY ...
 $
01 < ( RISES , MOVES UP L THEN TURNS ) > $
IT 'S NOT A QUESTION OF STINGINESS ... $
06 ALL RIGHT , PUT IT ANOTHER WAY . $
YOU 'D THINK IT WAS AN INSULT TO YOUR VIRILITY IF YOU HAD TO
 PAY . $
SO HERE YOU ARE . $
YOU 'RE ON TO A GOOD THING , NO COMPLICATIONS AND NO COST .
$
IF THAT 'S NOT COLDBLOODED , WHAT IS ? $
01 NONSENSE . $
YOUR WHOLE ARGUMENT IMPLIES A SORT OF SEXUAL BARTERING THAT
DOESN'T EXIST ANY MORE . $
06 SINCE WHEN ? $
01 WE 'RE NOT HERE TO TRY TO EXTRACT FROM EACH OTHER THE HIG
HEST POSSIBLE PRICE FOR ANY EXCHANGE OF - ER - TRUST OR INTI
MACIES THAT MAY DEVELOP AS WE GET TO KNOW EACH OTHER BETTER
. $
WE 'RE JUST TWO REASONABLY GROWN UP , MORE OR LESS INTELLIGE
NT PEOPLE WHO THOUGHT IT MIGHT MIGHT BE A GOOD IDEA TO SPEND
 SOME TIME TOGETHER . $
< ( SHE PULLS HER FINGERS OVER HER LOWER LIP , MAKING A BUBB
LING NOISE ) > $
06 WHAT A LOAD OF OLD CODSWALLOP . $
01 I MEAN IT $
06 YOU 'RE  GREAT , AREN'T YOU . $
HAVE YOU BEEN GOING ROUND SAYING THINGS LIKE THAT FOR LONG ?
 $
01 YOUR ATTITUDE NEGATES THE WHOLE FUN OF BEING MALE AND FEM
ALE . $
THE WHOLE - ARTIFICE OF FLIRTATION AND LOVE PLAY AND THE FIN
AL PLEASURE THAT IS MUTUALLY ATTAINED IS SOMETHING THAT BOTH
 PARTIES SHARE IN ROUGHLY EQUAL AMOUNTS . $
SOME PEOPLE HOLD , IN FACT , THAT THE FEMALE GETS MORE PLEAS
URE OUT OF ... $
06 YOU MEAN I 'D ENJOY YOU AS MUCH AS YOU WOULD ME ? $
01 PROBABLY MORE . $
< ( SHE LOOKS AT HIM FROM HEAD TO FOOT , TRYING NOT TO LAUGH
 . $
HE GETS HIS GLASS , MOVES TO THE DIVIDER AND PUTS IT ON THE
DRINKS TRAY ) > $
GRANTED YOU 'RE PRETTIER THAN I AM , BUT THAT 'S BESIDE THE
POINT . $
A MAN - A MATURE MAN - HAS SOMETHING RICHER TO OFFER THAN ME
RE GOOD LOOKS . $
< ( MARION ROARS WITH LAUGHTER ) > $
06 < ( PUTTING HER GLASS ON THE COFFEE-TABLE ) > $
THAT 'S FABULOUS . $
I LIKE THE APPEAL TO MY OLD-FASHIONED FEMININE INSTINCTS BES
T . $
GREATER LOVE HATH NO WOMAN THAN THAT SHE LAY DOWN HERSELF FO
R HER NEIGHBOUR . $
#21 $
AND GREATER LOVE HATH NOT THAT NEIGHBOUR THAN TO OBLIGE HER
, THEN - CALL HER A TAXI . $
YOU DON'T CALL THAT COLD-BLOODED ? $
< ( HE STARES AT HER FOR A WHILE ) > $
01 HOW OLD ARE YOU ? $
06 NINETEEN . $
01 < ( MOVING DOWN L OF THE SOFA ) > $
GOOD GOD . $
06 HOW OLD ARE YOU ? $
01 < ( PICKING UP THE CIGARETTE-BOX FROM THE DIVIDER ) > $
CIGARETTE ? $
< ( HE HANDS HER ONE AND AS HE IS ABOUT TO LIGHT IT HE IS CA
UGHT BY HER STEADY GAZE . $
HE BENDS AND KISSES HER GENTLY ) > $
06 YOU MANAGED EVEREST . $
01 < ( LIGHTING HER CIGARETTE ) > $
THAT WAS AFFECTIONATE RESPECT . $
< ( HE SITS L OFF HER ) > $
06 I 'LL BET YOU 'VE DONE IT SO OFTEN , EVEN YOU BELIEVE IT
NOW . $
WHAT CHANCE WOULD I STAND ? $
01 YOU CAN LOOK AFTER YOURSELF . $
06 CAN I ? $
01 YES . $
< ( SHE JUST STARES AT HIM . $
HE LOOKS BACK AT HER , THEN KISSES HER SLOWLY , THEN PASSION
ATELY . $
ACQUIESCING , SHE JUST STARES PAST HIM AT THE CEILING . $
SHE IS SILENTLY CRYING . $
HE COMES UP FOR AIR AND NOTICES THIS . $
HE WIPES A TEAR FROM HER FACE ) > $
I 'M SORRY . $
I ... $
< ( SHE PUTS HER CIGARETTE OUT IN HER GLASS , THEN PUTS HER
ARMS ROUND HIS NECK , PULLING HIM DOWN ON TOP OF HER . $
IN THE KISS SHE IS SO OVERCOME BY SOBS THAT HE CLIMBS OFF HE
R . $
THEY MOVE APART . $
SHE IS TRYING TO CONTROL HERSELF ; HE IS BORED . $
HE GLANCES AT HER IMPATIENTLY ) > $
06 YOU KNOW THAT PARTY ? $
01 YES . $
06 IT WAS MY PARTY . $
01 YOURS ? $
06 WELL , I LIVE THERE , SO YOU COULD CALL IT THAT . $
01 WELL , NEVER MIND . $
06 YOU KNOW THE FELLER ON THE DRUMS . $
01 THE ONE WHO 'S NOT VERY GOOD . $
06 HE USED TO BE BETTER . $
01 THE LINO-LAYER . $
06 ONLY PART-TIME . $
01 WELL ? $
06 HIS NAME 'S JIMMY . $
01 GOOD HEAVENS . $
06 IT WAS HIS PARTY , TOO . $
01 YOU MEAN , YOU AND HE ARE LIVING TOGETHER ? $
06 WERE . $
#22 $
01 WERE ? $
06 I 'VE LEFT HIM . $
01 JUST NOW , YOU MEAN ? $
< ( ROBERT'S BOREDOM CHANGES TO ICY POLITENESS AS HE SEES TH
E TRAP ) > $
06 YES . $
I DON'T WANT TO SEE HIM AGAIN . $
01 I SEE . $
SO YOU HAVE NOWHERE TO GO IN THE MORNING . $
06 NO . $
01 < ( AFTER A PAUSE ; CHARMINGLY ) > $
WHAT ABOUT YOUR FAMILY ? $
06 KINGSTON . $
01 WELL , THERE YOU ARE . $
I 'LL GIVE YOU BREAKFAST , THEN YOU CAN HOP ON A GREEN LINE
AND ... $
06 KINGSTON , JAMAICA . $
01 OH . $
06 CAN I STAY HERE FOR A FEW DAYS ? $
TILL I FIND A PLACE ? $
01 NO , I 'M , AFRAID YOU CAN'T . $
06 I DON'T MIND IF YOU WANT TO HAVE ME . $
I UNDERSTAND . $
01 THANK YOU . $
THAT 'S THE MOST BEGUILING INVITATION I 'VE EVER HAD . $
06 DON'T YOU WANT TO , THEN ? $
01 < ( LOOKING AT HER ) > $
YES . $
VERY MUCH . $
06 < ( MOVING TO HIM ) > $
WELL ? $
< ( HE MOVES TO HER ) > $
THEN I CAN STAY HERE FOR A BIT . $
< ( THERE IS A PAUSE , THEN HE PATS HER REASSURINGLY ) > $
01 LET 'S WORRY ABOUT WHERE YOU 'RE GOING TO STAY IN THE MOR
NING , SHALL WE ? $
06 THANK YOU . $
< ( SHE LEANS AGAINST HIM , CRYING , AS MUCH FROM RELIEF AS
ANYTHING . $
HE HOLDS HER , AND QUITE ENJOYS COMFORTING HER ) > $
YOU KNOW - I USED TO GO WITH A FRIEND OF JIMMY'S CALLED MARK
 , WHO SUDDENLY WAS HORRIBLE TO ME - AND JIMMY GOT ME TO LEA
VE MARK AND LIVE WITH HIM . $
AND LATELY JIMMY 'S BEEN NASTY - AND BRIAN WAS KISSING ME IN
 THE KITCHEN WHEN YOU SAW US AND TRYING TO GET ME TO GO OFF
WITH HIM - BRIAN IS JIMMY 'S FRIEND - AND I ASKED HIM , AND
HE SAID JIMMY HAD ASKED HIM TO - TAKE ME OVER , GET ME OUT O
F THE WAY BECAUSE OF JULIE . $
SHE 'S BRIAN'S GIRL , ONLY JIMMY 'S GOT HER NOW - AND THAT '
S HOW JIMMY GOT ME . $
THEY WERE ALL PASSING ME ROUND . $
LIKE A TRAY OF CAKES - HAVE A NIBBLE - THEN PASS IT ON . $
IT 'S NOT VERY NICE - BEING PASSED ROUND . $
< ( SHE SOBS ) > $
01 < ( SMOOTHLY ) > $
NEVER MIND . $
YOU 'VE FINISHED WITH THEM NOW . $
< ( HE TRIES TO KISS HER . $
SHE SNIFFS AND WIPES HER NOSE WITH THE BACK OF HER HAND , NE
ARLY STICKING HER FINGER IN HIS EYE . $
HE GIVES HER HIS HANDKERCHIEF , THEN HE RISES , GOES INTO TH
E BEDROOM , FLICKS OFF THE COVERLET AND TURNS ON THE LIGHT .
 $
HE RETURNS ) > $
#23 $
THERE NOW . $
ANYTHING I CAN GET YOU ? $
COCOA ? $
CYANIDE FOR YOUR BOYFRIEND ? $
06 < ( SMILING ) > $
YOU 'RE SWEET . $
THANK YOU . $
01 < ( SITTING L OF HER ) > $
YES , YOU 'RE WITH ME NOW . $
< ( HIS ARMS GOES ROUND HER ) > $
THAT 'S MUCH BETTER , ISN'T IT . $
< ( HER SMILE FADES ) > $
06 I SUPPOSE SO . $
01 OF COURSE IT IS . $
< ( HE KISSES HER AGAIN , REMOVING A SHOE . $
AS HE GETS INTERESTED THE KISS LENGTHENS ) > $
06 < ( AT LENGTH ) > $
WHERE 'S YOUR LOO ? $
01 < ( POINTING OFF L ) > $
THROUGH THERE . $
< ( HE KISSES HER AGAIN , REMOVING HIS SECOND SHOE ) > $
06 < ( RISING AND MOVING ABOVE THE SOFA ) > $
YOU 'LL SOON BE PAST THE POINT OF NO RETURN , SO I 'D BETTER
 GO NOW . $
01 NO ONE COULD ACCUSE YOU OF OVER-ROMANTICISM , COULD THEY
? $
06 < ( PAUSING L ) > $
WELL , WHAT DO YOU WANT ? $
01 < ( RISING AND MOVING R OF HER ) > $
DON'T YOU THINK YOU MIGHT LOOK FAINTLY INTERESTED ? $
06 OH BLIMEY , HAVE I GOT TO ENJOY IT , TOO ? $
01 THAT IS THE OBJECT OF THE EXERCISE . $
06 PLEASE . $
DO YOU MIND IF I SKIP THE ECSTASY BIT THIS TIME ? $
01 < ( STILL SMOOTHLY SMILING ) > $
WE 'LL SEE . $
< ( HE PICKS HER UP AND CARRIES HER TO THE BEDROOM . $
HE LAYS HER ON THE BED ) > $
THERE . $
THAT 'S MORE COMFORTABLE , ISN'T IT ? $
06 HERE , YOU 'RE NOT KINKY OR ANYTHING , ARE YOU ? $
01 WHY DO YOU ASK ? $
06 THIS BED 'S RED-HOT . $
< ( SHE JUMPS OFF THE BED ) > $
01 EH ? $
06 YOU FEEL IT . $
< ( HE FEELS THE SHEETS AND SWITCHES OFF THE ELECTRIC BLANKE
T ) > $
01 OH , YES . $
IT 'S THE ELECTRIC BLANKET . $
THE DAILY MUST HAVE FLICKED THE SWITCH ON WHEN SHE WAS MAKIN
G IT THIS MORNING . $
< ( HE FLAPS THE SHEETS VIGOROUSLY ) > $
< ( MARION RETURNS TO THE LIVING-ROOM ) > $
IT 'LL COOL DOWN . $
WHAT ARE YOU DOING BACK THERE ? $
06 < ( MOVING R OF THE SOFA AND SITTING ON THE ARM ) > $
LOOK , I KNOW I SORT OF THREW MYSELF AT YOU , BUT - $
01 < ( MOVING ABOVE THE SOFA TO R OF HER ) > $
THAT 'S ALL RIGHT . $
I 'M USED TO IT . $
06 IT 'S JUST THAT I DON'T WANT TO DISAPPOINT YOU . $
01 DON'T WORRY . $
YOU WON'T DISAPPOINT ME . $
AND I 'M WILLING TO BET I WON'T DISAPPOINT YOU . $
#24 $
06 I WOULDN'T PUT YOUR SHIRT ON IT . $
01 I WOULD . $
AND MORE . $
< ( HE STARTS TO PICK HER UP ) > $
06 HEY , THAT 'S AN IDEA . $
WE 'LL TOSS FOR IT . $
HEADS I ENJOY IT , TAILS WE SCRUB ROUND IT ALTOGETHER . $
< ( SHE RUNS R TO PICK UP HER HANDBAG ) > $
01 < ( TAKING HER BAG AND THROWING IT ON THE SOFA ) > $
WE 'LL DO NOTHING OF THE SORT . $
06 AH , COME ON . $
ALL OR NOTHING . $
THAT 'S FAIR ENOUGH . $
01 IF YOU CAN ENJOY IT AFTER WE 'VE SPUN A COIN , YOU CAN BE
FORE . $
06 I COULD , BUT I WON'T . $
SO COME ON . $
YOU SAID YOU 'D BET . $
01 THAT WAS A FIGURE OF SPEECH . $
06 COWARD . $
IT 'S A FAIR GAMBLE . $
01 FAIR ? $
I HAVE EVERYTHING TO LOSE AND NOTHING TO GAIN . $
06 < ( VERY AWARE ) > $
YOU HAVE GOT SOMETHING TO GAIN . $
I PROMISE YOU . $
< ( THERE IS A PAUSE . $
THEY STARE AT EACH OTHER . $
HE LAUGHS , THEN STOPS HIMSELF ) > $
01 < ( TAKING OUT A COIN ) > $
ALL RIGHT . $
WE TOSS . $
HEADS , MUTUAL PLEASURE , TAILS YOU SLEEP THERE $
< ( HE GESTURES TO THE BED ) > $
AND I 'LL SLEEP IN THE SPARE ROOM . $
< ( HE POINTS UP R ) > $
IS THAT SPORTING ENOUGH FOR YOU ? $
06 YEP . $
< ( SHE CROSSES TO THE STEP BY THE BEDROOM ) > $
01 YOU KNOW , THEY DID THIS IN A FILM ONCE . $
ONLY THAT GAMBLE WAS HEADS SHE GAVE IN , TAILS THEY GOT MARR
IED FIRST . $
06 NO , THANKS . $
I LOSE EITHER WAY , DON'T I ? $
01 THAT FILM WAS MADE IN NINETEEN THIRTY-THREE . $
THE STAKES ARE DIFFERENT NOW. $
06 WHEN ? $
YOU 'RE JOKING . $
01 < ( ANNOYED ) > $
I SAW IT LAST YEAR AT THE NATIONAL FILM THEATRE . $
06 OH . $
GO ON THEN . $
TOSS . $
< ( HE TOSSES THE COIN TENSELY , CATCHING IT ) > $
STOP . $
DO IT AGAIN . $
LET IT FALL TO THE GROUND , THEN THERE 'S NO FIDDLING . $
01 DO YOU THINK I 'D FIDDLE A BET OF HONOUR ? $
06 WELL , I WOULDN'T CALL THIS THAT . $
< ( ROBERT HESITATES , THEN TOSSES . $
IT FALLS BETWEEN THEM . $
THEY BOTH LOOK DOWN . $
THEY BOTH LOOK UP AT EACH OTHER . $
THEY BOTH MOVE TO THE BEDROOM . $
HE PULLS HIS PYJAMAS FROM UNDER THE PILLOW ) > $
01 GOOD NIGHT . $
06 GOOD NIGHT . $
< ROBERT MOVES TO SPARE ROOM UP R AS MARION KICKS OFF HER SH
OES , AND - THE CURTAIN FALLS > $
#25 $
< ACT 2 > $
< SCENE - THE SAME . $
THE FOLLOWING MORNING . $
WHEN THE CURTAIN RISES , THE SCREENS BEFORE THE KITCHEN ARE
STILL DRAWN . $
THE LIVING-ROOM IS FULL OF SMOKE . $
MARION IS FRYING EGGS AND LAYING THE TABLE . $
THE KETTLE IS BOILING AND THE TOAST IS BURNING . $
SHE IS SEARCHING NOISILY FOR THINGS SHE NEEDS IN THE KITCHEN
 , WITHOUT MUCH SUCCESS . $
ROBERT ENTERS FROM THE SPARE ROOM IN DRESSING-GOWN AND PYJAM
AS . $
HE STOPS DEAD IN HIS TRACKS AT THE SMELL FROM THE KITCHEN .
> $
06 GOOD MORNING . $
01 GOOD MORNING . $
A LOT OF ACTIVITY . $
06 I 'M GETTING YOUR BREAKFAST . $
01 IS THAT WHAT IT IS . $
06 ONLY I CAN'T FIND ANYTHING . $
01 WHAT ? $
06 JUST ABOUT ANYTHING . $
01 < ( OPENING THE SCREENS ) > $
IF YOU 'LL JUST GIVE ME A MINUTE I 'LL SHOW YOU WHERE THINGS
 ARE . $
< ( HE OPENS THE KITCHEN WINDOW ) > $
IT IS A BIT STUFFY THIS MORNING , ISN'T IT ? $
BE A HOT DAY , I THINK . $
06 I 'M SORRY ABOUT THE SMOKE , BUT IF I COULD FIND THINGS I
 NEED I WOULDN'T KEEP BURNING EVERY PIECE OF - OH ... $
< ( SHE RUNS TO THE GRILL AND REMOVES SOME SMOKING TOAST ) >
 $
01 WHAT DO YOU THINK IS THE DECENT THING TO DO WITH THAT ? $
QUIET BURIAL OR SCATTER THE ASHES ? $
06 IT 'LL BE ALL RIGHT IF I SCRAPE IT . $
01 BURIAL , I THINK . $
06 < ( PUTTING THE GRILL PAN BACK AND CUTTING SOME MORE BREA
D TO TOAST ) > $
I 'LL DO SOME MORE . $
01 < ( PICKING UP THE FRYING-PAN ) > $
WHAT 'S THIS ? $
06 BACON , EGGS AND FRIED BREAD . $
01 GOOD HEAVENS , SO IT IS . $
06 DON'T YOU LIKE BACON AND EGGS ? $
01 FRANKLY , I FORGET . $
06 I COULDN'T FIND ANY CORNFLAKES OR ANYTHING , EITHER . $
OR DO YOU LIKE PORRIDGE ? $
01 IF THERE 'S A BLIZZARD AND A HOWLING NORTH-EASTER ... $
06 IT 'S SUPPOSED TO BUILD YOU UP . $
01 I SPEND A FORTUNE EVERY YEAR TRYING TO BUILD MYSELF DOWN
. $
06 PUT IT BACK , IT 'S GETTING COLD . $
01 < ( PUTTING THE PAN BACK ON THE STOVE ) > $
I THINK THE KINDEST THING TO DO WOULD BE TO LET IT CONGEAL I
N PEACE . $
< ( HE MOVES INTO THE HALL ) > $
06 WHAT CAN I GET YOU , THEN ? $
SOMETHING ELSE ? $
#26 $
01 NO , NO . $
JUST RELAX AND LET ME COME TO FOR A MOMENT . $
< ( HE PICKS UP THE HOUSE PHONE ON THE WALL ) > $
06 < ( MOVING TO THE HALL ) > $
BUT I COULD GET SOMETHING WHILE YOU 'RE DOING THAT . $
01 PLEASE . $
DON'T COME THE LITTLE WOMAN ACT . $
< ( INTO THE PHONE ) > $
AH , JOHN , WOULD YOU POP OUT AND GET MY BEIGELS , PLEASE ..
. $
NO , I 'LL NEED FOUR THIS MORNING . $
< ( HE LAUGHS ) > $
THANK YOU . $
< ( HE RINGS OFF ) > $
LET 'S GO MAD THIS MORNING AND NOT HAVE BACON AND EGGS . $
06 ALL RIGHT . $
DO YOU PREFER COFFEE OR TEA ? $
I 'VE ALREADY MADE COFFEE . $
01 < ( CROSSING L TOWARDS THE BEDROOM ) > $
NEVER MIND . $
IT 'LL KEEP . $
06 OH , BLAST . $
YOU DO HAVE TEA . $
01 DON'T MAKE ANY NOW , I ... $
06 < ( GOING INTO THE KITCHEN ) > $
BUT I 'D LOVE TO . $
01 NO , REALLY . $
IN A MINUTE , I 'LL COME AND ... $
06 OH , LET ME AT LEAST MAKE SOME TEA . $
I WOULD HAVE BEFORE , BUT I COULD ONLY FIND CHINESE . $
< ( SHE SWITCHES OFF THE COFFEE ) > $
01 CHINA . $
06 WHAT ? $
01 CHINA TEA . $
NOT CHINESE . $
06 WELL , I COULDN'T FIND ANY INDIAN . $
OR IS IT INDIA ? $
< ( ROBERT PICKS UP A GLOSSY MAGAZINE FROM THE DIVIDER AND I
NDICATES THE SOFA ) > $
01 < ( PATIENTLY ) > $
JUST ARRANGE YOURSELF ELEGANTLY ON THAT AND FLICK NONCHALANT
LY THROUGH THE PAGES OF A WOMAN'S MAGAZINE , WHILE I GET DRE
SSED . $
< ( HE THROWS THE MAGAZINE ON THE SOFA ) > $
06 < ( MOVING R OF THE SOFA ) > $
I WAS ONLY TRYING TO BE USEFUL . $
01 AH . $
I 'M SORRY . $
< ( GOING TO THE BEDROOM ) > $
WELL , YOU HAVEN'T MADE YOUR BED . $
YOU CAN MAKE YOURSELF USEFUL DOING THAT . $
06 < ( FOLLOWING ) > $
OOH , THANKS . $
< ( ROBERT GOES OFF TO THE BATHROOM WHILE MARION PERFUNCTORI
LY FLICKS THE BEDCLOTHES INTO PLACE . $
SHE DISCOVERS A GLOVE WHICH SHE HIDES UNDER THE PILLOW . $
SHE THEN ARRANGES HERSELF GROTESQUELY ON THE SOFA AND FLICKS
 THROUGH THE MAGAZINE . $
SUDDENLY HER ATTENTION IS ARRESTED . $
SHE STARES AT THE MAGAZINE , THINKS , THEN GETS UP AND LOOKS
 QUICKLY ROUND THE LIVING-ROOM . $
SHE GOES TO THE BOOKSHELF AND FINDS SOME RECIPE BOOKS STACKE
D TOGETHER . $
SHE TAKES ONE ) > $
HEY . $
01 DID YOU CALL ? $
06 < ( PUTTING THE MAGAZINE ON THE BACK OF THE SOFA ) > $
WHAT DID YOU SAY YOUR NAME WAS LAST NIGHT ? $
01 ROBERT DANVERS . $
< ( ROBERT ENTERS , SMIRKING AND HOLDING AN AFTERSHAVE SPRAY
 ) > $
AH , HA-HA . $
I SEE YOU 'VE FOUND OUT . $
YES , I AM ROBERT DANVERS . $
06 IS THAT ALL YOU DO ? $
JUST EAT FOR A LIVING ? $
#27 $
01 AND DRINK , COOK , CREATE , WRITE , BUY WINES AND FOOD ,
TEACH , CRITICIZE , REVIEW , APPEAR ON TELEVISION , TRAVEL -
 I 'M OFF TO FRANCE TOMORROW FOR THE WINE TASTINGS . $
06 < ( PUTTING THE BOOK ON TOP OF THE MAGAZINE ) > $
YOU GO ALL THE WAY TO FRANCE TO TASTE WINE ? $
01 FURTHER SOMETIMES . $
06 < ( IMPRESSED ) > $
COR. $
WHAT A SUPER JOB . $
01 YES , IT IS , RATHER . $
< ( ROBERT EXITS L , SAILING OFF AND SQUIRTING HIMSELF WITH
AFTERSHAVE . $
MARION GOES TO THE KITCHEN AND LOOKS AT THE COOLING MESS IN
THE FRYING-PAN AND RUEFULLY SCRAPES IT OUT INTO THE WASTE-BI
N . $
IT IS NOT APPETIZING . $
JOHN ENTERS THE CORRIDOR AND RINGS THE DOORBELL . $
HE CARRIES A BAG OF BEIGELS ) > $
06 HEY , YOUR DOORBELL RANG . $
01 < ( OFF ) > $
IT 'LL BE THE BEIGELS . $
ANSWER IT , WILL YOU ? $
< ( MARION OPENS THE HALL DOOR ) > $
04 AH , MORNING MISS . $
LOVELY MORNING . $
06 YES , SUPER . $
04 < ( INNOCENTLY ) > $
SLEPT WELL , I HOPE ? $
< ( THERE IS A PAUSE . $
SHE STARES AT HIM , HARD . $
HE NODS AMICABLY BACK ) > $
06 FINE , THANK YOU . $
04 HE ALL RIGHT , IS HE ? $
06 I THINK SO . $
04 THINK SO , EH ? $
< ( HE LAUGHS . $
SHE DOES NOT ) > $
HERE 'S HIS BEIGELS . $
< ( HE GIVES HER THE BAG ) > $
HE USUALLY PAYS TODAY . $
SEVEN AND FOUR . $
< ( HE STARTS TO ENTER ) > $
06 HANG ON . $
< ( SHE PUSHES THE DOOR CLOSED IN HIS FACE ) > $
04 HERE , WATCH OUT . $
I ... $
< ( SHE SEARCHES IN HER BAG ON THE SOFA , AND TAKES OUT FOUR
 PENNIES ) > $
06 < ( CALLING TO ROBERT ) > $
HAVE YOU GOT ANY MONEY ? $
01 < ( OFF ) > $
WHAT ? $
06 FOR THE MAN . $
SEVEN AND FOUR . $
01 < ( OFF ) > $
OH , YES . $
JUST COMING . $
< ( ROBERT ENTERS L ) > $
< ( TAKING A TEN-SHILLING NOTE FROM THE R BEDSIDE DRAWER ) >
 $
MORNING , JOHN ... $
WHERE IS HE ? $
06 < ( NODDING AT THE HALL DOOR ) > $
IN THE PASSAGE . $
01 YOU CAN'T LEAVE HIM OUT THERE . $
HE 'S PRACTICALLY THE FAMILY RETAINER . $
06 < ( SNORTS ) > $
BIG DEAL . $
< ( SHE GOES TO THE KITCHEN ) > $
#28 $
< ( ROBERT OPENS THE DOOR ) > $
04 AH , MORNING SIR . $
01 MORNING , JOHN . $
HOW MUCH IS IT ? $
< ( HE GIVES JOHN THE NOTE ) > $
< ( JOHN TAKES THE NOTE , POCKETS IT , THEN STARES ROBERT OU
T ) > $
04 SEVEN AND FOUR , SIR . $
IT 'S BEEN A QUIET WEEK . $
01 < ( GIVES UP ) > $
KEEP THE CHANGE . $
04 THANK YOU , SIR . $
01 WHERE ARE THE BEIGELS ? $
04 THE YOUNG LADY 'S GOT THEM , SIR . $
STILL WARM FROM THE OVEN . $
LOVELY AND FRESH , SIR . $
ENJOY YOUR BREAKFAST . $
06 PORTER , JUST BEFORE YOU GO , I WONDER IF YOU 'D DO A LIT
TLE SOMETHING FOR ME . $
04 < ( SMIRKING ) > $
IF I CAN , MISS . $
< ( MARION BRINGS THE WASTE-BIN INTO WHICH SHE EMPTIED THE B
ACON AND EGGS ) > $
06 EMPTY THIS . $
04 EH ? $
06 AND INSIDE YOU 'LL SEE SOME FAT THAT 'S GOT STUCK THERE .
 $
IT 'S GETTING COLD . $
IT 'LL COME OFF IF YOU GIVE IT A GOOD SCRUB WITH HOT WATER B
EFORE IT HARDENS . $
01 04 06 < TOGETHER > $
01 OH , I DON'T THINK THAT 'S QUITE JOHN'S ... $
04 IT 'S NOT MY JOB TO CLEAN OUT ANY OLD ... $
06 < ( PUSHING JOHN OUT ) > $
JUST DROP IT BACK ANY TIME WITHIN THE NEXT HALF AN HOUR OR S
O . $
RING THE BELL AND I 'LL COME AND CHECK IT OVER . $
< ( SWEETLY ) > $
THANK YOU SO MUCH . $
' BYE $
< ( SHE CLOSES THE HALL DOOR ) > $
01 WHAT , IN HEAVEN'S NAME , WAS ALL THAT ABOUT ? $
06 THAT 'LL TEACH HIM . $
< ( ROBERT AND MARION GO INTO THE KITCHEN ) > $
01 EH ? $
04 < ( IN THE CORRIDOR ) > $
WHAT A COWSON . $
CEUGH . $
GETTING HER BLEEDING BREAKFAST . $
I KNOW WHAT I 'D GET HER ... $
< ( JOHN EXITS R ) > $
06 < ( TAKING THE BEIGELS FROM THE BAG AND PUTTING THEM ON T
HE TABLE ) > $
DOES HE ALWAYS DO THAT ? $
BRING UP THE SHOPPING AND LEER ? $
01 < ( TAKING OUT THE ICE BUCKET AND NAPKIN ) > $
DON'T TELL ME YOU 'RE GETTING AN ATTACK OF CONVENTIONALISM .
 $
06 < ( SCREWING UP THE PAPER BAG ) > $
I DON'T LIKE BEING LABELLED BY SOME PEOPLE'S ASSUMPTIONS . $
01 < ( TAKING ICE-CUBES FROM THE FRIDGE AND LEAVING THEM UND
ER THE TAP ) > $
HAS RIGHTEOUS INDIGNATION GIVEN YOU AN APPETITE ? $
#29 $
06 WHAT CAN I DO ? $
ANYTHING ? $
< ( SHE THROWS THE PAPER BAG AT HIM ) > $
01 JUST RELAX , SIT DOWN , AND TELL ME THE STORY OF YOUR LIF
E . $
< ( HE LAUGHS ) > $
YOU KNOW , I ONCE SAID THAT TO A FEMALE AND SHE DID . $
MY GOD . $
06 < ( SITTING R OF THE KITCHEN TABLE ) > $
SERVES YOU RIGHT FOR SEDUCING HER . $
GENERALLY THE GIRL 'S EXPECTED TO GIVE IN AND LISTEN TO HIS
LIFE STORY AS WELL . $
< ( ROBERT TAKES A BOTTLE OF CHAMPAGNE FROM THE WINE RACK )
> $
COR , CHAMPAGNE FOR BREAKFAST . $
ARE YOU AN ALCOHOLIC ? $
YOU MIGHT HAVE TOLD ME YOU WERE A COOK BEFORE YOU LET ME MUC
K UP BREAKFAST . $
01 < ( EMPTYING THE ICE-CUBES INTO THE BUCKET ) > $
I TRIED TO LAST NIGHT . $
06 NO , YOU DIDN'T . $
YOU TRIED TO TELL ME YOU WERE FAMOUS . $
THAT 'S DIFFERENT . $
01 < ( PUTTING THE CHAMPAGNE IN THE BUCKET ) > $
YOU SHOULD HAVE LISTENED , ANYWAY . $
06 HUH . $
YOU SOUND JUST LIKE ... $
01 < ( PUTTING A PLATE IN THE WARMER ) > $
DON'T TELL ME I SOUND LIKE YOUR FATHER . $
IT WORKED BEAUTIFULLY ONCE , BUT NOT AGAIN . $
06 CLEVER DICK . $
< ( HE LAUGHS ) > $
YOU 'RE PLEASED WITH YOURSELF THIS MORNING . $
DID YOU GO OUT AND GET ANOTHER WOMAN LAST NIGHT ? $
01 < ( PUTTING THE PAN ON THE STOVE ) > $
AND DON'T TRY TO SHOCK ME , EITHER . $
06 < ( PEERING THROUGH A BEIGEL ) > $
WHY ARE THESE ROLLS CALLED BEIGELS ? $
01 < ( TAKING A BOWL FROM THE CUPBOARD TO THE TABLE ) > $
IT 'S A YIDDISH WORD DERIVED FROM THE GERMAN . $
IT MEANS 'A LITTLE BEND OR CURVE ' . $
06 DO YOU KNOW ALL ABOUT FOREIGN FOODS AND EVERYTHING ? $
01 < ( TAKING TWO EGGS FROM THE FRIDGE ) > $
WELL , I 'VE EATEN IN MOST OF THE BEST RESTAURANTS OF THE WO
RLD , BUT THERE 'S A LOT TO KNOW . $
06 < ( JABBING HIS WAISTLINE ) > $
YOU 'VE BEEN BRINGING YOUR WORK HOME WITH YOU . $
HER , HER . $
01 YOU KNOW , YOU HAVE A GREAT DEAL OF WIT FOR ONE SO YOUNG
. $
< ( ROBERT BREAKS TWO EGGS ONE HANDEDLY WITH GREAT PANACHE )
 > $
06 COR . $
THE BLOKE IN THE WINDOW OF OUR WIMPY BAR DOES THAT . $
01 < ( PUTTING THE SHELLS ON THE DRAINER AND WIPING HIS HAND
S ) > $
NOW , LISTEN , YOU 'VE GOT SOME SERIOUS THINKING TO DO . $
06 OH , NO . $
< ( SHE GOES INTO THE SITTING-ROOM AND LIES ON THE SOFA ) >
$
01 < ( PUTTING HERBS IN THE MIXTURE ) > $
WHERE ARE YOU GOING TO LIVE ? $
06 < ( SHRUGS ) > $
DUNNO . $
01 ONLY I 'M OFF TOMORROW . $
TO FRANCE . $
06 THEN THIS PLACE 'LL BE ALL EMPTY , WILL IT ? $
#30 $
01 YES - $
< ( HE CATCHES HIMSELF ) > $
- AND LOCKED UP . $
06 THAT 'S CRIMINAL . $
A SUPER FLAT LIKE THIS . $
01 < ( PUTTING OIL IN THE PAN ) > $
PERHAPS . $
MEANWHILE YOU MUST FIND SOMEWHERE TO LIVE , IMMEDIATELY . $
TOMORROW IS SUNDAY . $
06 YOU WOULDN'T HAVE ANY IDEAS , WOULD YOU ? $
01 I 'M AFRAID NOT . $
< ( MARION IS ABOUT TO SPEAK . $
ROBERT CONTINUES QUICKLY ) > $
WHAT ABOUT THE WEST INDIES ? $
06 EH ? $
01 < ( SEASONING THE MIXTURE ) > $
YOUR FAMILY . $
KINGSTON , JAMAICA . $
< ( MARION GIGGLES ) > $
WASN'T THAT TRUE ? $
06 NO . $
KINGSTON-ON-THAMES . $
01 WHY ON EARTH LIE ABOUT IT ? $
06 WHY NOT ? $
KINGSTON - ERGH ! $
01 WELL , YOU 'D BETTER GO HOME . $
06 THAT 'S OUT . $
01 WHY ? $
A ROW ? $
06 NO . $
IT 'S JUST OUT . $
01 I SEE . $
< ( MOVING INTO THE LIVING-ROOM AND ABOVE THE SOFA ) > $
WILL YOU DO ME A FAVOUR ? $
06 WHAT ? $
01 IF YOU ANSWER A QUESTION WITH A QUESTION AGAIN , I 'LL HI
T YOU . $
06 < ( DUCKING ) > $
WHAT WITH ? $
01 < ( GETTING OUT TWO CHAMPAGNE GLASSES FROM THE DIVIDER AN
D RETURNING TO THE KITCHEN ) > $
WILL YOU LET ME GIVE YOU SOME MONEY SO THAT YOU DON'T HAVE T
O GO BACK TO THAT DRUMMER . $
< ( HE REPLACES THE SALT AND PEPPER ON THE UNIT ) > $
06 I DON'T WANT ANY . $
01 ALL RIGHT , LET ME LEND YOU SOME . $
YOU DON'T HAVE ANY , DO YOU ? $
06 NO . $
01 < ( BEATING THE EGGS ) > $
WELL , THEN . $
YOU 'LL HAVE TO BORROW OFF SOMEONE , WHY NOT ME ? $
THEN YOU CAN STAY AT A HOTEL FOR A NIGHT OR TWO WHILE YOU FI
ND YOURSELF A ROOM . $
DO YOU HAVE A JOB ? $
06 YES . $
01 WHAT ? $
06 COFFEE BAR . $
01 < ( PUTTING THE EGGS IN THE PAN ) > $
OH , REALLY . $
GIVE IT UP . $
GET YOURSELF A PROPER JOB . $
WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO DO ? $
< ( HE PUTS THE BOWL IN THE SINK ) > $
06 < ( SHRUGS ) > $
DUNNO . $
01 DON'T YOU CARE ? $
06 NOT MUCH . $
01 WELL , YOU SHOULD DO . $
#31 $
06 WHY SHOULD I ? $
01 YOU 'VE GOT TO LIVE . $
06 I GET BY . $
01 YOU 'RE WASTING YOUR LIFE , YOUR YOUTH . $
IF YOU 'VE GOT SOME CAPITAL USE IT , DON'T FRITTER IT . $
06 WELL , I RECKON MY BEST CAPITAL ASSETS ARE MY LOOKS , SO
I SUPPOSE I SHOULD BECOME A TART . $
01 DON'T BE SILLY . $
< ( HE COOKS THE OMELETTE ) > $
06 WHAT 'S SILLY ? $
IF I GO TO BED WITH SOMEONE FOR NOTHING , THAT 'S WASTING MY
 CAPITAL ASSETS . $
I MIGHT AS WELL GET PAID DOING A JOB I ENJOY . $
LIKE YOU . $
YEAH , I 'LL BECOME A CONNOISSEUR - OF MEN . $
AND I 'LL CLASSIFY THEM . $
THEY COULD DO WITH A BIT OF SORTING OUT THE ROUGHS FROM THE
SMOOTHIES . $
WHEN YOU GO TO BOURNEMOUTH SPEND THE NIGHT WITH THE ONLY FIV
E STAR MAN IN THE TOWN . $
FRED BLENKINSOP , TWENTY-FIVE JUBILEE WALK . $
HE 'S ONLY A SIMPLE LITTLE GROCER , BUT YOU 'LL BE AMUSED AT
 HIS AUDACITY . $
01 < ( PUTTING THE OMELETTE ON THE WARMED PLATE L ON THE TAB
LE ) > $
HERE , YOUR OMELETTE IS READY . $
COME AND EAT IT . $
< ( MARION RISES , GOES TO THE KITCHEN , SITS R OF THE TABLE
 AND EATS ) > $
06 AREN'T YOU HAVING ONE ? $
01 NO . $
I 'M HAVING MY USUAL . $
06 WHAT 'S THAT ? $
01 < ( OPENING THE CHAMPAGNE ) > $
CHAMPAGNE , BEIGELS AND CAVIAR . $
06 CAVIAR ? $
OH , YEAH . $
I SUPPOSE YOU DO NEED A BIT OF HELP AT YOUR AGE . $
I SAY , COULD I ASK YOU A FAVOUR ? $
01 < ( GUARDEDLY ) > $
WHAT ? $
06 I NEED MY THINGS FROM JIMMY'S AND I CAN'T FACE HIM ON MY
OWN . $
01 < ( POURING CHAMPAGNE INTO THE GLASSES ) > $
YOU WANT ME TO GO WITH YOU ? $
06 YES , PLEASE . $
01 WHAT 'S HE LIKE ? $
06 IT 'S ALL RIGHT . $
HE 'S ONLY VIOLENT ON THE DRUMS . $
01 WHAT ? $
06 DON'T WORRY . $
IF HE COMES IT , I 'LL BASH HIM . $
01 THANK YOU . $
< ( CLARE ENTERS THE CORRIDOR AND RINGS THE BELL ) > $
AH . $
MY GLITTERING WASTE-BIN . $
< ( HE GOES TO THE HALL ) > $
DON'T YOU WANT TO INSPECT IT ? $
< ( ROBERT OPENS THE DOOR . $
CLARE ENTERS ) > $
02 < ( CROSSING L , DROPPING HER HANDBAG ON THE SOFA AS SHE
PASSES ) > $
HELLO , DARLING . $
I 'M SORRY TO BOTHER YOU SO EARLY . $
ARE YOU MOST FRIGHTFULLY BUSY ? $
BUT I DISCOVERED I 'D LEFT - ONE - OF - MY GLOVES ... $
< ( SHE SEES MARION AND STARES , FURIOUS ) > $
#32 $
< ( MARION CONTINUES EATING . $
THERE IS A SILENCE ) > $
01 MARION , THIS IS CLARE DORLATON-FINCH . $
CLARE , THIS IS MARION - $
< ( HE REALIZES HE DOESN'T KNOW HER SURNAME ) > $
- MARION . $
< ( MARION LIFTS A HAND IN GREETING . $
CLARE LOOKS AT ROBERT ACCUSINGLY ) > $
< ( DISBELIEVING ) > $
YOU CAME BACK FOR A GLOVE , CLARE ? $
< ( HE CLOSES THE HALL DOOR ) > $
02 YES . $
01 I SEE . $
< ( HE LOOKS VAGUELY ON THE CHAIR DOWN R , THE DIVIDER , AND
 THE HALL CUPBOARD ) > $
< ( MARION EATS , EMBARRASSED ) > $
02 < ( PERCHING ON THE L ARM , OF THE SOFA AND REMOVING HER
GLOVES ) > $
HAVE YOU KNOWN ROBERT LONG , MISS - HM ? $
06 < ( LOOKING AT HER WATCH ) > $
TEN HOURS . $
02 HOW NICE . $
PRACTICALLY RELATED . $
06 < ( TO ROBERT ) > $
LOOK , IS SHE YOUR BIRD ? $
02 HIS WHAT ? $
01 NO , NO , NO . $
CLARE 'S ENGAGED . $
< ( STANDING ON THE HALL STEP ) > $
TO SOMEONE ELSE . $
ARE YOU ? $
02 FOR NEARLY ELEVEN HOURS . $
< ( SHE SHOWS HER RING ) > $
DO YOU LIKE IT ? $
06 < ( RISING ) > $
WOULD YOU LIKE A DRINK ? $
CELEBRATION . $
02 THAT 'S SWEET OF YOU , I 'D LOVE ONE . $
AH , I SEE YOU 'RE BEING GIVEN THE FULL TREATMENT . $
SHAMPOO AND ALL . $
06 < ( WHISPERING TO ROBERT ) > $
WHERE ARE THE GLASSES ? $
02 < ( RISING AND GOING TO THE CUPBOARD IN THE DIVIDER FOR A
 GLASS ) > $
DON'T WORRY . $
I KNOW WHERE EVERYTHING IS . $
06 OH ? $
IS THIS THE STANDARD BREAKFAST , THEN ? $
02 < ( TAKING THE GLASS TO MARION IN THE KITCHEN ) > $
BRUNCH , REALLY . $
WHEN THE BLOOM WEARS OFF YOU GET UP TO YESTERDAY'S ROLLS AND
 INSTANT COFFEE . $
< ( MARION POURS OUT CHAMPAGNE ) > $
01 CLARE , I SIMPLY GAVE MARION A BED FOR THE NIGHT , THAT '
S ALL . $
02 JUST THE ONE NIGHT . $
SHIPS THAT PASS . $
01 I KNOW IT SOUNDS FEEBLE . $
02 AND NO ONE COULD ACCUSE YOU OF BEING THAT , COULD THEY RO
BERT ? $
MY GLOVE . $
< ( ROBERT CROSSES L AND LOOKS IN THE ARMCHAIR ) > $
06 I 'M SORRY IF YOU THINK I 'M TREADING ON YOUR TERRITORY O
R SOMETHING . $
< ( SHE MOVES R OF CLARE ) > $
02 PLEASE . $
YOU 'RE NOT TRESPASSING A BIT . $
THERE 'S A PUBLIC RIGHT OF WAY , AS FAR AS HE 'S CONCERNED .
 $
< ( MOVING DOWN C ) > $
YOU KNOW , A SORT OF BRIDLE PATH . $
NOT MORE THAN THREE ABREAST . $
< ( SHE SITS C ON THE SOFA ) > $
#33 $
< ( ROBERT SIGHS AND GOES INTO THE BEDROOM TO LOOK FOR THE G
LOVE ) > $
06 < ( QUIETLY ) > $
LOOK , I KNOW YOU 'RE ENGAGED , BUT DO YOU WANT ME TO GO ? $
02 MY DEAR GIRL , WHY ? $
06 < ( MOVES TO R OF SOFA ) > $
WELL , I 'M ON YOUR SIDE . $
02 HOW COSY . $
HERE 'S MUD IN YOUR EYE . $
< ( TO ROBERT ) > $
AND IN YOURS , DARLING . $
BOTH OF THEM . $
< ( ROBERT EXITS TO THE BATHROOM ) > $
06 ONLY I DON'T WANT HIM . $
YOU CAN HAVE HIM . $
02 THANK YOU SO MUCH . $
06 I MEAN , HE 'S QUITE NICE , BUT HE 'S A BIT WET FOR ME -
$
02 WET ? $
ROBERT ? $
06 - AND I THINK YOU 'RE BOTH TERRIFICALLY WELL SUITED . $
02 THANK YOU . $
06 I MEAN , CLASS AND AGE AND - OH , YOU KNOW . $
02 NO , I 'M NOT SURE THAT I DO . $
06 < ( UPSET ) > $
IT 'S JUST THAT I UNDERSTAND . $
02 < ( PUTTING HER GLASS ON THE COFFEE-TABLE ) > $
AND I 'D RATHER YOU DIDN'T UNDERSTAND IF YOU COULD POSSIBLY
MANAGE IT ! $
< ( ROBERT RETURNS FROM THE BATHROOM ) > $
01 YOUR GLOVE IS NOWHERE IN THIS FLAT , CLARE . $
NOW , IF YOU WILL EXCUSE ... $
02 < ( RISING ) > $
IT 'S ALL RIGHT . $
I 'M JUST OFF . $
< ( SHE MOVES L TO ROBERT ) > $
SEND IT ON . $
YOUR LITTLE MISS THING HAD BETTER BE TROTTING ALONG , TOO .
$
YOU DON'T WANT HER TO GET THE SACK , DO YOU ? $
06 IT 'S ALL RIGHT . $
< ( SHE GOES INTO THE KITCHEN ) > $
I 'VE GOT AN ARRANGEMENT WITH MY BOSS . $
HIM AND ROBERT TAKE ME IN TURNS . $
< ( SHE SITS AS BEFORE ) > $
02 HOW TIRING . $
< ( TO ROBERT ) > $
SEE THAT YOUR LITTLE FRIEND DOESN'T EXHAUST HERSELF FOR BOTH
 YOUR SAKES . $
< ( GOING TO THE HALL ) > $
GOOD-BYE , MISS-ER - $
ENJOY YOUR CHAMPAGNE . $
I 'M SURE YOU 'VE HAD TO WORK JOLLY HARD FOR IT . $
< ( SHE OPENS THE DOOR ) > $
06 ROBERT , SAY GOOD-BYE TO YOUR MUM FOR ME , WOULD YOU ? $
01 PLEASE . $
YOU MUSTN'T FIGHT OVER ME LIKE THIS . $
I 'M NOT WORTH IT . $
< ( MARION GIGGLES AND CLARE LAUGHS ) > $
02 HEAR THAT ? $
WE MUSTN'T FIGHT THIS THING . $
IT 'S SMALLER THAN BOTH OF US . $
< ( CLARE EXITS . $
ROBERT CLOSES THE DOOR ) > $
06 SEE THAT ? $
< ( SHE WAGGLES THE FINGERS ON HER LEFT HAND ) > $
PURE COMPRESSED MILK-BOTTLE TOPS . $
01 PLEASE . $
< ( GOING TO THE KITCHEN ) > $
I 'M SORRY . $
< ( HE DRINKS HIS CHAMPAGNE ) > $
#34 $
06 I DIDN'T THINK BIRDS LIKE THAT WENT IN FOR FLASHING THEIR
 ENGAGEMENT RINGS . $
01 IT 'S A HABIT THAT KNOWS NO SOCIAL BOUNDARIES . $
06 ANYWAY , WHEN DID YOU TWO BREAK UP ? $
01 YESTERDAY . $
< ( HE MOVES TO THE LIVING-ROOM ) > $
06 WOW . $
SHE DIDN'T WASTE MUCH TIME , DID SHE ? $
01 SHE HAD HIM STANDING BY . $
FIRST RESERVE . $
< ( HE MOVES TO THE BEDROOM ) > $
06 POOR SUCKER . $
IF YOU WANT THAT GLOVE , IT 'S UNDER YOUR PILLOW . $
01 WHAT ? $
06 I FOUND IT IN THE BED AND PUT IT THERE FOR A GIGGLE . $
01 VERY HUMOROUS . $
WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY ? $
06 IT WOULD HAVE GOT SO COMPLICATED . $
THINK OF THE EXPLANATIONS . $
01 YOU 'RE PROBABLY RIGHT . $
06 HERE , THERE 'S ONE THING I 'M DYING TO KNOW . $
01 WHAT ? $
06 WHY WAS SHE WEARING GLOVES IN BED ? $
< ( ROBERT SMILES TO HIMSELF AND EXITS TO THE BATHROOM . $
MARION TAKES A BITE FROM AN APPLE . $
SHE GLANCES AT IT , HAVING BITTEN , AND MAKES A NOISE OF DIS
GUST . $
SHE PICKS FROM HER MOUTH THE PIECE SHE BIT OFF AND EXAMINES
IT ) > $
ERGH . $
AH , OH , OOEGH . $
< ( MARION GARGLES WITH CHAMPAGNE . $
SHE PICKS UP A KNIFE AND FLICKS THE MAGGOT OFF THE APPLE ON
TO HER PLATE . $
SHE HOLDS THE KNIFE ABOVE HER HEAD POISED AS ROBERT ENTERS ,
 DRESSED ) > $
01 WHAT ARE YOU PLAYING AT ? $
06 THAT APPLE HAD A MAGGOT IN IT . $
01 < ( CROSSING R ) > $
OH , PUT IT DOWN THE SINK FOR GOD'S SAKE . $
06 LOOK . $
OLE . $
A LA LANTERNE . $
A BAS LES ARISTOS $
< ( SHE CHOPS IT IN HALF WITH RELISH) > $
< ( ROBERT TURNS GREEN ) > $
ISN'T IT FUNNY THE WAY BOTH HALVES STILL WRIGGLE . $
01 YOU 'RE A SAVAGE . $
06 EH ? $
01 A HOMICIDAL MANIAC . $
< ( HE GOES INTO THE KITCHEN ) > $
CHOPPING UP INOFFENSIVE MAGGOTS . $
06 I DON'T CALL THAT INOFFENSIVE . $
IT 'S REVOLTING . $
I NEARLY SWALLOWED IT . $
01 WELL , THAT 'S NOT HIS FAULT . $
06 HOW DO YOU KNOW IT WAS A HE ? $
01 COME ON . $
< ( HE GOES TO THE SITTING-ROOM ) > $
WE 'RE GOING OUT . $
06 WHERE TO ? $
01 TO FIND YOU A HOTEL . $
< ( HE PICKS UP HER BAG AND GOES TO THE HALL ) > $
#35 $
06 WHAT , RIGHT NOW ? $
01 YES , NOW . $
06 DON'T YOU WANT ME TO COME BACK ? $
01 NO . $
AND BRING YOUR THINGS . $
< ( HE OPENS THE HALL DOOR ) > $
I DON'T WANT SOMEONE ASKING WHY YOU WERE WEARING A COAT IN M
Y CUPBOARD . $
COME ON . $
< ( MARION TAKES HER COAT FROM THE CUPBOARD ) > $
06 < ( AT HER MOST CHARMING ) > $
IT 'S SWEET OF YOU TO LET ME STAY . $
DO YOU KNOW , I 'VE NEVER BEEN OUT WITH ANYONE FAMOUS BEFORE
 . $
DO YOU GET RECOGNIZED MUCH ? $
01 < ( USHERING HER OUT ) > $
OH WELL , YOU KNOW , QUITE OFTEN . $
SOMETIMES IT ALL GETS A BIT ... $
< ( MARION AND ROBERT EXIT DOWN THE CORRIDOR . $
THE LIGHTS FADE TO A BLACK-OUT ) > $
< ( THE LIGHTS FADE UP AFTER A MOMENT . $
THE FLAT IS EMPTY . $
MARION ENTERS R , USING ROBERT'S KEY IN THE HALL DOOR , SHE
IS FURIOUS . $
ROBERT FOLLOWS , CARRYING TWO SUITCASES . $
MARION DUMPS HER COAT AND BAG ON THE R END OF THE SETTEE AND
 WALKS TO AND FRO BELOW THE SOFA ) > $
06 ISN'T JIMMY VILE , EH ? $
DOESN'T HE MAKE YOU SICK ? $
BIG-HEADED , FAT-BOTTOMED , RED-EYED , SLOBBY - OH , I LOATH
E HIM ! $
< ( JOHN STAGGERS ALONG THE CORRIDOR , CARRYING A HEAVY , LA
RGE TRUNK ) > $
01 JOHN , PUT IT DOWN IN THE SPARE ROOM . $
04 < ( MOVING UP R ) > $
PUT IT DOWN . $
I SHOULD THINK SO . $
< ( JOHN PUTS THE TRUNK IN THE SPARE ROOM , AND RETURNS . $
ROBERT PUTS THE SUITCASES DOWN IN THE HALL ) > $
06 I HOPE HE GETS HER IN THE CLUB AND SHE GETS HIM UP THE AI
SLE . $
THEN HE 'LL BE LUMBERED ! $
BOY , THINK WHAT THEIR CHILDREN 'LL LOOK LIKE . $
GARGOYLES . $
< ( SHE SITS AND HELPS HERSELF TO A CIGARETTE ) > $
04 < ( ENTERING THE HALL ) > $
PHEW . $
WHAT 'S IN THERE , SIR ? $
IRON BARS ? $
01 BOOKS , I THINK . $
04 OH , BOOKS , FANCY . $$
06 < ( SHOUTING ) > $
YES , YOU MUST HAVE HEARD OF 'EM . $
THEY 'RE FOR READING . $
< ( JOHN LOOKS AT HER , SHOCKED AND FRIGHTENED AT THE INSULT
 ) > $
OH , SORRY . $
TAKE NO NOTICE . $
01 HERE , JOHN . $
THANK YOU . $
< ( ROBERT TIPS JOHN A NOTE ) > $
04 THANK YOU , SIR . $
WILL THE YOUNG LADY BE STAYING LONG , SIR ? $
01 NO , NO . $
PURELY TEMPORARY . $
04 I SEE . $
FAST READER , IS SHE ? $
#36 $
< ( JOHN EXITS . $
ROBERT TAKES OUT THE KEY AND CLOSES THE DOOR ) > $
06 I NEVER NOTICED HOW UGLY JIMMY LOOKS TILL THIS MORNING .
$
01 < ( PUTTING THE BOOK AND MAGAZINE BACK ON THE SHELVES ) >
 $
IF I HAD BEEN THROUGH THAT PARTY FROM END TO END THEN HAD YO
U WAKING ME BY POURING A BUCKET OF WATER ALL OVER THE BED I
DON'T THINK THAT EVEN I 'D LOOK TOO GOOD . $
06 AND HE STANK . $
01 < ( PUTTING MARION'S BAG ON THE DIVIDER ) > $
I THINK IT WAS MOSTLY THE DEBRIS THAT SMELT , NOT HIM . $
YOU COULD HAVE OPENED THE WINDOW WITHOUT ACTUALLY THROWING T
HE BUCKET THROUGH IT . $
< ( HE PUTS MARION'S COAT ON THE SUITCASES ) > $
06 AND WHAT ABOUT HER ? $
WHEE , WHAT A HAG . $
YEAH , AND HER ROOTS NEED RE-COLOURING , DID YOU SEE ? $
01 I DIDN'T NOTICE IN THE MELEE . $
< ( HE GOES INTO THE KITCHEN AND TIDIES UP GENERALLY ) > $
06 I 'M BARELY OUT OF THE WAY AND SHE 'S IN THERE . $
BANG . $
SHE MUST HAVE BEEN HARD UP . $
< ( SHE LAUGHS ) > $
YEAH , I 'LL BET THAT BUCKET OF WATER MADE THEM THINK , TOO
. $
THEY WERE OUT OF THAT BED LIKE TRAPS ONE AND TWO , STAMFORD
BRIDGE . $
01 YOU FOUND YOURSELF SOMEONE ELSE PRETTY QUICKLY , TOO , YO
U KNOW . $
06 ARE YOU ON HIS SIDE OR SOMETHING ? $
< ( JOHN ENTERS THE CORRIDOR CARRYING THE WASTE-BIN AND LEAD
ING JIMMY . $
JIMMY HAS A TERRIBLE HEADACHE AND HANGOVER . $
EVERY MOVEMENT IS AGONY FOR HIM ) . > $
04 SHE 'S IN HERE . $
D' YOU SEE ? $
IN HERE . $
NUMBER SEVEN . $
AND I HOPE YOU GET HER OUT . $
GIVE HER THIS FROM ME AND TELL HER SHE CAN EAT OUT OF IT NOW
 , WITH MY COMPLIMENTS . $
< ( HE DUMPS THE CLEAN WASTE-BIN INTO JIMMY'S INERT ARMS AND
 EXITS ) > $
< ( JIMMY RINGS THE DOORBELL AND WINCES AT THE NOISE ) > $
06 < ( AWED ) > $
OH , NO , THAT 'LL BE HIM . $
< ( SHE RISES AND MOVES TO THE HALL ) > $
01 IMPOSSIBLE . $
06 I 'LL BET HE FOLLOWED US . $
01 JOHN WOULD NEVER HAVE GIVEN HIM MY FLAT NUMBER . $
06 ANYWAY , I DON'T WANT TO SEE HIM . $
< ( MARION GOES INTO THE SPARE ROOM . $
ROBERT OPENS THE DOOR . $
JIMMY FALLS IN ) > $
01 OH . $
YES ? $
07 I COME TO SEE HER . $
01 OH . $
07 IT 'S ALL RIGHT . $
THERE 'LL BE NO BOTHER . $
JUST A CHAT . $
01 I 'M AFRAID SHE DOESN'T WANT TO SEE YOU . $
#37 $
< ( JIMMY HOLDS OUT A PIECE OF PAPER . $
ROBERT LOOKS AT IT ) > $
07 THIS IS YOUR ADDRESS , I'N IT ? $
01 YES . $
07 WELL , I MEAN THAT 'S HER WRITING . $
SHE LEFT IT BEHIND . $
IF THAT DOESN'T MEAN SHE WANTS TO SEE ME ... $
01 YES . $
WELL , WAIT HERE A MOMENT . $
< ( HE OPENS THE SPARE-ROOM DOOR ) > $
07 TA . $
< ( HE MOVES DOWN RC AND SITS ON THE CHAIR ) > $
< ( MARION ENTERS ) > $
06 < ( MOVING L OF JIMMY ) > $
BUZZ OFF . $
GO ON . $
I DON'T WANT TO SEE YOU . $
< ( ROBERT SHUTS THE HALL DOOR ) > $
07 DON'T START SHOUTING , PLEASE . $
< ( TO ROBERT ) > $
YOU WOULDN'T HAVE AN ASPIRIN , WOULD YOU ? $
01 < ( MOVING R OF JIMMY ) > $
AN ASPIRIN . $
ER - YES . $
06 DON'T GIVE HIM ONE . $
SERVES HIM RIGHT . $
07 COFFEE , THEN . $
ANYTHING . $
01 YES . $
< ( HE STARTS TO MOVE TO THE KITCHEN ) > $
06 NO . $
< ( SHE PUSHES ROBERT WHO TRIPS ON THE HALL STEP ) > $
07 HEY , I THOUGHT I SAW YOU WITH BRIAN LAST NIGHT ? $
06 < ( MOVING TO L OF JIMMY ) > $
DID YOU ? $
07 I THOUGHT YOU WENT OFF WITH HIM . $
06 DID YOU ? $
07 WHERE D' YOU SPEND THE NIGHT ? $
06 WHERE DID YOU ? $
07 < ( POINTS AT ROBERT ) > $
WERE YOU WITH HIM ? $
01 < ( COMING INTO THE ROOM ) > $
NOW , JUST A ... $
06 WHO WERE YOU WITH ? $
07 OH , DON'T START THAT STUPID QUESTION BIT , FOR GOD'S SAK
E . $
< ( ROBERT MOVES ABOVE THE SOFA ) > $
06 WHY NOT ? $
07 I 'VE BEEN WORRIED ABOUT YOU . $
06 WORRIED ! $
YOU ROTTEN LIAR ! $
< ( SHE GRABS A CUSHION FROM THE SOFA AND HITS HIM , HARD )
> $
PRETENDING YOU GIVE A DAMN . $
BRIAN TOLD ME . $
HE TOLD ME THAT YOU WERE TRYING TO GET RID OF ... $
< ( SHE THROWS CUSHION DOWN ) > $
07 I WANT YOU TO STAY . $
06 LIAR . $
< ( SHE GRABS ANOTHER CUSHION AND HITS HIM AGAIN ) > $
YOU WANT ME OUT , SO THAT YOU CAN GET HER IN . $
< ( SHE THROWS THE CUSHION DOWN ) > $
07 < ( PAINED ) > $
I CAN'T STAND IT . $
MY HEAD . $
06 < ( SHOUTING ) > $
MY HEAD . $
07 PLEASE DON'T SHOUT . $
06 SHOUT ! $
I 'LL SCREAM . $
I 'LL ... $
< ( MARION PICKS UP AN ORNAMENT FROM THE DIVIDER TO THROW .
$
JIMMY DUCKS ) > $
#38 $
01 NO , NOT THAT . $
< ( HE GRABS IT FROM HER , AND REPLACES IT ) > $
07 < ( NEARLY IN TEARS ) > $
OH , MY HEAD . $
06 < ( RUNNING TO THE BEDROOM ) > $
AND AS FOR YOUR HEAD , I HOPE YOUR HEAD BREAKS OPEN AND YOUR
 BRAINS SPILL OUT ON THE FLOOR AND YOU TREAD ON THEM AND FAL
L OVER . $
< ( MARION RUNS OFF TO THE BATHROOM . $
THERE IS A PAUSE . $
ROBERT SMILES AT JIMMY BRIEFLY ) > $
01 GRUESOME TURN OF PHRASE , HASN'T SHE ? $
07 DO YOU THINK I COULD HAVE THAT ASPIRIN NOW , PLEASE ? $
01 YES , OF COURSE . $
< ( HE NOTICES THAT JIMMY IS STILL CLUTCHING THE WASTE-BIN )
 > $
ER , EXCUSE ME , BUT WHERE DID YOU GET THAT ? $
07 < ( VAGUELY ) > $
SOME BLOKE GAVE IT TO ME . $
01 THANK YOU . $
< ( HE TAKES THE BIN AND GOES TO THE KITCHEN TO REPLACE IT A
ND TO GET A GLASS OF WATER AND AN ASPIRIN ) > $
07 MY EYES FEEL LIKE TWO PISS HOLES IN THE SNOW . $
HAVE YOU GOT A CIGARETTE ON YOU ? $
01 WHAT ? $
07 A CIG - $
OH , NEVER MIND . $
I DON'T THINK I COULD TASTE IT , ANYHOW . $
< ( PUTS HIS TONGUE OUT ) > $
OH ! $
I THINK I COULD GROW MUSHROOMS ON MY TONGUE . $
WHAT ABOUT WOMEN , EH ? $
I MEAN , I DON'T WANT TO BE HARD , BUT SHE 'S A NUT CASE . $
< ( ROBERT RETURNS WITH THE WATER AND ASPIRIN AND MOVES L OF
 JIMMY ) > $
SOMETIMES SHE 'S FABULOUS . $
THEN YOU SAY SOMETHING AND SHE BREAKS UP THE JOINT . $
I MEAN , YOU NEVER KNOW WHERE YOU ARE . $
< ( ROBERT MOVES TO JIMMY , HOLDING OUT THE ASPIRIN . $
JIMMY PEERS AT HIM ) > $
ARE YOU THE ONE I ASKED FOR AN ASPIRIN ? $
< ( IT IS UNDER HIS NOSE . $
HE FOCUSES ) > $
OH , TA . $
< ( HE SWALLOWS IT AND SIPS FROM THE GLASS ) > $
ERGH . $
WHAT IS THAT ? $
01 WATER . $
07 BLIMEY . $
< ( HE RETURNS THE GLASS TO ROBERT ) > $
AND SHE DOES THE MOST STUPID THINGS . $
REALLY STUPID . $
STILL , I SUPPOSE SHE 'S PRETTY CLEVER REALLY - FOR A BIRD .
 $
FOR INSTANCE . $
BIRDS ARE ALWAYS SAYING : ' YOU ONLY WANT ME FOR ONE THING '
 . $
ALWAYS . $
NOT JUST TO ME . $
01 < ( PLACING THE GLASS ON THE COFFEE-TABLE ) > $
YES , I KNOW . $
07 WHAT , YOU , TOO ? $
01 I 'M AFRAID SO . $
< ( HE TAKES A CIGARETTE AND LIGHTS IT ) > $
07 YEAH . $
EVERYONE I KNOW . $
ALL OVER THE WORLD AT ANY GIVEN MOMENT THERE MUST BE MILLION
S OF BIRDS SAYING : ' YOU ONLY WANT ME FOR ONE THING ' . $
IT 'S LIKE THE LUTON GIRLS' CHOIR IN FIFTY LANGUAGES . $
D' YOU KNOW WHAT I SAY ? $
01 WHAT ? $
< ( HE SITS L ON THE SOFA ) > $
07 I SAY ' WHAT ELSE HAVE YOU GOT TO OFFER ? ' $
THAT FLOORS 'EM . $
BUT WHEN I MET HER - $
< ( GESTURES AFTER MARION ) > $
- WE 'RE SITTING THERE , NECKING , AND SHE 'S FEELING A BIT
FRUITY , YOU KNOW , AND I SAYS TO HER , JOKING : ' YOU ONLY
WANT ME FOR ONE THING ' . $
AND SHE SAYS TO ME : ' WHAT ELSE HAVE YOU GOT TO OFFER ? ' $
#39 $
AND D' YOU KNOW I COULDN'T THINK OF ANYTHING TO SAY . $
< ( AGGRIEVED ) > $
AND NOW , JUST BECAUSE I 'M MOVING JULIE IN , SHE GOES SCREA
MING BLUE MURDER . $
01 IT 'S ONLY NATURAL , ISN'T IT ? $
07 < ( PICKING UP THE CUSHIONS AND WINCING ) > $
NATURAL ? $
< ( RISING ) > $
WHY ? $
JULIE 'D BE COMPANY FOR HER . $
< ( HE SITS VERY CLOSE TO ROBERT WITH A HAND RESTING ON ROBE
RT'S LEG ) > $
< ( ROBERT TRIES TO GET UP ) > $
WITH TWO OF 'EM TO LOOK AFTER ME THEY CAN CUT THE HOUSEWORK
IN HALF . $
THEY 'D BE LAUGHING . $
BUT NO , THAT 'S TOO REASONABLE FOR HER - OH , - BLINKING WO
MEN ! $
IF I DIDN'T FANCY 'EM SO MUCH I 'D CHANGE SIDES , I THINK .
$
< ( ROBERT STRUGGLES UP QUICKLY AND MOVES L OF THE SOFA . $
JIMMY PLACES THE CUSHIONS ON THE SOFA AND LEANS THANKFULLY B
ACK ON TO THEM . $
THERE IS A PAUSE ) > $
01 EXCUSE ME . $
ARE YOU GOING TO HAVE A NAP OR ARE YOU GOING TO GET HER OUT
OF HERE ? $
07 I WANT TO , DON'T I , BUT LOOK AT HER . $
SHE GIVES ME YOUR ADDRESS AND THEN YELLS AT ME THE WHOLE TIM
E . $
01 SHE 'S UPSET . $
07 UPSET ? $
HER ? $
WHAT ABOUT ME ? $
I 'M HUMILIATED . $
01 DO YOU EXPECT HER TO ENJOY SHARING YOU ? $
07 WHY NOT ? $
MOST OF THE BLOKES I KNOW ARE HAVING IT AWAY WITH DIFFERENT
BIRDS ALL OVER THE PLACE . $
01 WELL ? $
07 WELL , I JUST WANT TO GET MINE ALL UNDER THE ONE ROOF AND
 SAVE MYSELF A BLOODY FORTUNE . $
< ( MARION ENTERS AND MOVES L OF ROBERT ) > $
06 ALL RIGHT . $
IT 'S ALL OVER . $
OUT . $
< ( ROBERT EDGES SLOWLY ABOVE THE SOFA TO R OF IT ) > $
07 LOOK , COME BACK , MARI . $
YOU 'LL LIKE JULIE . $
SHE 'S A GOOD KID . $
06 < ( TO ROBERT ) > $
ISN'T HE A CHARMER ? $
07 DON'T YOU WANT TO KNOW ABOUT BRIAN , THEN ? $
HE 'S DEAD KEEN . $
06 STUFF BRIAN . $
07 WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO THEN ? $
06 < ( PERCHING ON THE L ARM OF THE SOFA ) > $
I SHOULD HAVE THOUGHT THAT WAS QUITE OBVIOUS . $
< ( MARION THROWS A KISS TO ROBERT , WHO MOVES INTO THE HALL
 ) > $
07 AH , NOW LOOK HERE , MARI . $
I 'LL HELP YOU FIND A ROOM ; YOU 'VE GOT TO GO SOMEWHERE . $
01 I WISH YOU 'D BOTH GO SOMEWHERE . $
< ( HE OPENS THE HALL DOOR ) > $
ANYWHERE . $
#40 $
< ( JIMMY RISES AND MOVES TO THE HALL . $
MARION MOVES AHEAD OF HIM ) > $
07 THERE . $
SEE THE SORT OF BLOKE HE IS ? $
HE WON'T LOOK AFTER YOU . $
ONE NIGHT , THEN OUT . $
01 THAT 'S RIGHT . $
OUT . $
06 < ( JOINING ROBERT ) > $
YEAH , OUT . $
07 I JUST DON'T WANT TO LEAVE YOU HERE WITH HIM . $
01 WHAT IS SO OFFENSIVE ABOUT HER STAYING WITH ME ? $
07 WELL , I MEAN - DON'T YOU THINK YOU OUGHT TO KNOW BETTER
AT YOUR AGE ? $
I MEAN SHE 'S NOT THE SORT OF KID TO GO TARTING OFF WITH - W
ITH A ... $
01 WITH A WHAT ? $
07 < ( TO MARION ) > $
LET 'S TALK OUTSIDE . $
< ( HE GOES INTO THE CORRIDOR ) > $
PLEASE , MARI . $
< ( MARION FOLLOWS JIMMY , PULLING THE DOOR TO . $
ROBERT GOES INTO THE KITCHEN TO MAKE COFFEE ) > $
PLEASE , MARI , COME BACK . $
06 WHAT , WITH HER THERE ? $
GET KNOTTED . $
< ( JIMMY MOVES AWAY R ) > $
ER . $
WHAT WAS THE PARTY LIKE AFTER I LEFT ? $
07 OH . $
IT DROPPED DEAD ON ITS FEET ABOUT FIVE ; SOME COMEDIAN PULLE
D THE PLUG OUT OF THE BATH . $
06 OH , SHAME . $
07 LOOK , YOU 'RE ONLY STAYING WITH HIM TO HAVE A GO AT ME ,
 AREN'T YOU ? $
I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU CAN STAND THAT OLD GIT TOUCHING YOU AFT
ER ME . $
ALL THAT OLD FLESH . $
ERGH . $
IT GIVES ME THE WILLIES . $
06 WELL HE 'S TERRIFIC . $
BETTER THAN YOU . $
07 < ( TOUCHING HER GENTLY ) > $
AH , MARI . $
COME BACK . $
THINK OF THE FABULOUS TIMES I GIVE YER . $
06 < ( BURSTING OUT ) > $
DON'T . $
DON'T TOUCH ME . $
GO AND TOUCH HER INSTEAD . $
< ( ROBERT OPENS THE DOOR ) > $
01 < ( SHOUTING ) > $
STOP THIS SHOUTING . $
THERE ARE OTHER PEOPLE LIVING IN THESE FLATS , TOO , YOU KNO
W . $
< ( HE SLAMS THE DOOR , AND LOOKS AT HIMSELF IN THE HALL MIR
ROR ) > $
06 YOU 'D BETTER GO . $
07 HE 'S A BIT CHOKED , I'N HE ? $
IT 'S NOT HIS FAULT , I SUPPOSE . $
HE CAN'T HELP IT . $
I 'D BETTER SAY I 'M SORRY . $
< ( CALLING ) > $
HEY , I SAY , MATE . $
< ( ROBERT MOVES TO THE DOOR AS JIMMY PUSHES IT OPEN . $
IT HITS ROBERT FULL IN THE EYE . $
HE STAGGERS BACK WITH A CRY OF PAIN , AND SITS ON THE EDGE O
F THE DIVIDER ) > $
WHAT 'S THAT ? $
06 WHAT HAPPENED ? $
07 < ( MOVING INTO THE FLAT ) > $
ARE YOU ALL RIGHT ? $
#41 $
< ( MARION GOES INTO THE KITCHEN AND SOAKS A NAPKIN ) > $
01 GET OUT , YOU CLUMSY , BLOODY TWIT . $
07 WHAT HAVE I DONE ? $
06 HERE , THIS 'LL HELP . $
01 GET OUT . $
07 I ONLY CAME TO SAY I 'M SORRY . $
06 GO AND SIT DOWN . $
HELP HIM , JIMMY . $
07 COME ON , THIS WAY . $
< ( HE TAKES ROBERT'S ARM ) > $
01 I 'M QUITE CAPABLE OF WALKING , THANK YOU . $
< ( HE MOVES AWAY FROM JIMMY AND TRIPS DOWN THE STEP FROM TH
E HALL . $
HE SITS ON THE SOFA ) > $
06 < ( COMING FROM THE KITCHEN AND APPLYING THE NAPKIN ) > $
HERE , PUT THIS ON . $
01 OW . $
CAREFUL . $
06 I WAS . $
01 IT HURTS . $
06 I 'LL DO IT AGAIN IF YOU DON'T SHUT UP . $
01 IT 'S COLD . $
06 IT 'S GOOD FOR YOU . $
07 < ( MOVING ABOVE THE SOFA TO C ) > $
YOU KNOW WHAT YOU WANT . $
A DIRTY BIG STEAK . $
01 I DON'T KEEP DIRTY BIG STEAKS . $
06 < ( SITTING ON THE R ARM OF THE SOFA ) > $
PUT IT BACK . $
< ( STROKING HIS HEAD ) > $
THERE . $
01 IT 'S SWELLING UP , I THINK . $
06 IT 'LL BE ALL RIGHT IN A MOMENT . $
< ( SHE GIVES HIM A LITTLE PECK ) > $
07 HERE , CUT IT OUT . $
06 WHAT ? $
07 ALL THAT BIT . $
I DON'T LIKE IT . $
06 THEN DON'T WATCH . $
< ( SHE PUTS HER ARMS ROUND ROBERT ) > $
I THOUGHT YOU WERE GOING . $
07 HONESTLY , I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU CAN DO IT . $
01 DO WHAT ? $
07 WELL , I MEAN . $
MAKING UP TO AN OLD BLOKE , LIKE HIM . $
06 I BET YOU NEVER THOUGHT YOU 'D DRIVE ME TO THIS . $
< ( ROBERT JUMPS UP . $
MARION FALLS INTO THE SOFA ) > $
01 THAT 'S ENOUGH . $
OUT . $
< ( HE GOES TO THE HALL AND OPENS THE DOOR ) > $
06 YEAH , CLEAR OFF . $
01 YOU ARE THE MOST ARROGANT YOUNG IDIOT I 'VE EVER MET . $
YOU IMAGINE THAT IF A WOMAN LOOKS AT YOU IT MUST BE LOVE AND
 THAT ANYONE OVER FORT - THIRTY-FIVE MUST BE REPELLENT . $
07 < ( GOING INTO THE HALL ) > $
WELL , LET 'S FACE IT . $
CHICKS DON'T GO OUT WITH OLD BLOKES LIKE YOU FOR THEIR LOVEL
Y PROFILES , DO THEY ? $
06 < ( RISING ) > $
GO ON . $
OUT . $
< ( SHE MOVES TO THE HALL ) > $
01 I COULD BEAT YOU TO ANY WOMAN . $
07 YOU WHAT ? $
01 JUST BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE THE NAPPY MARKS ON ME . $
#42 $
07 LOOK , MATE , THE ONLY SORT OF MARKS YOU 'VE GOT ARE ...
$
06 < ( PUSHING JIMMY ) > $
OUT , I SAID . $
< ( JIMMY STAGGERS FROM THE FORCE OF THE PUSH AND HIS HEAD S
NAPS BACK . $
HE FREEZES , CLUTCHING HIS HEAD IN HIS HANDS ) > $
07 < ( AT LENGHT ) > $
OH , MY GOD . $
I THOUGHT IT 'D COME OFF . $
06 < ( PUSHING JIMMY OUTSIDE ) > $
GO ON . $
GO BACK TO YOUR GIRLFRIEND . $
< ( MARION CLOSES THE DOOR AND JIMMY SHAMBLES AWAY AND EXITS
 R . $
MARION STALKS UP AND DOWN THE HALL ) > $
01 < ( CROSSING L ABOVE THE SOFA ) > $
WHAT A SPECIMEN ! $
HORRIBLE URK . $
WHAT DID YOU SAY HE WAS ? $
A LINO-LAYER ? $
< ( HE SITS L ON THE SOFA ) > $
06 ONLY PART-TIME . $
01 IT 'S TOO GOOD FOR HIM . $
06 < ( PERCHING ON THE BACK OF THE CHAIR DOWN R ) > $
DID YOU SEE THAT ? $
HE WAS REALLY JEALOUS . $
DEAD CHOKED . $
01 WHY ON EARTH DID YOU GIVE HIM MY ADDRESS ? $
06 I 'D NEVER THOUGHT HE GAVE A DAMN . $
IT WAS ALWAYS ME . $
01 HE ONLY THINKS OF YOU AS A BIRD , A CHICK , AN INVENTION
TO TAKE TO BED AND IT DOES THE WASHING UP . $
STILL , I SUPPOSE HE 'S YOUNG . $
06 YOUNG ? $
#44 $
YEAH , HE IS YOUNG , BIT CHILDISH REALLY . $
AND HE 'S WORRIED , SAYING THOSE THINGS ABOUT YOU TO PUT ME
OFF . $
< ( SHE STARES AT ROBERT SPECULATIVELY , THEN RISES , MOVES
TO THE SOFA AND KNEELS ON IT ) > $
EXCUSE ME . $
< ( SHE TOUCHES HIS CHEEKS , THEN PINCHES THEM ) > $
01 CAREFUL . $
06 SORRY . $
< ( SHE PUTS HER HANDS UNDER HIS JACKET AND FEELS HIS RIBS )
 > $
MMM . $
NOT BAD . $
QUITE NICE , IN FACT . $
A BIT BEEFY . $
STILL . $
01 ARE YOU THINKING OF BUYING ME FOR SLAUGHTER ? $
06 YOU SMELL NICE , TOO . $
THAT 'S IMPORTANT . $
HE THINKS IT 'S POUFFY TO USE AFTERSHAVE . $
01 OH , HE SHAVES , DOES HE ? $
< ( SHE KISSES HIM . $
IT DEVELOPS . $
THEY BREAK ) > $
06 < ( THOUGHTFULLY ) > $
YEH , SMASHING . $
< ( SITTING BACK ) > $
I DON'T KNOW WHAT HE 'S ON ABOUT . $
YOU KISS JOLLY WELL . $
< ( ROBERT PREENS HIMSELF ) > $
01 THERE HAS BEEN THE OCCASIONAL FEMALE IN MY LIFE WHO HASN'
T FOUND ME REPULSIVE . $
MY GOD , BUT YOU 'RE LOVELY . $
06 MY GOD , BUT YOU 'RE CORNY . $
01 BUT I MEANT IT . $
YOU 'RE SWEET AND FRESH , LIKE - LIKE PEELED LYCHEES . $
06 OH , BLIMEY . $
STILL , YOU 'VE HAD A LOUSY TIME , HAVEN'T YOU ? $
ALL THIS TROUBLE AND A SMACK IN THE EYE AND NOT EVEN A SNIFF
 OF THE BARMAID'S APRON . $
#43 $
01 WELL , WHOSE FAULT IS THAT , MAY I ASK ? $
06 NOT YOURS . $
01 PRECISELY . $
< ( THEY LOOK AT EACH OTHER FOR A MOMENT ) > $
06 < ( KNEELING UP ) > $
OKAY , THEN . $
01 OKAY , WHAT ? $
06 I 'M GAME IF YOU ARE . $
01 WHAT , NOW ? $
06 YES , RIGHT NOW . $
01 YOU 'RE JUST TRYING TO GET EVEN WITH THAT ZOMBIE . $
06 WHAT 'S THE MATTER ? $
SCARED ? $
01 < ( LAUGHING ) > $
ME ? $
SCARED ? $
06 YEAH . $
DO YOU NEED SOME OF YOUR CAVIAR FIRST ? $
01 < ( OUTRAGED ) > $
I DON'T NEED ANY ... $
06 THEN WHY MAKE JIMMY AN EXCUSE . $
01 HE 'S NOT MY EXCUSE , HE 'S YOURS . $
BUT DON'T WORRY , I 'LL SOON CONVERT YOU . $
< ( HE PICKS HER UP AND TAKES HER TO THE BEDROOM ) > $
06 YOU 'RE ALWAYS CARRYING ME OFF TO BED . $
01 FUN , THOUGH , ISN'T IT ? $
06 IF YOU LIKE THOSE OLD SILENT FILMS . $
< ( HE PUTS HER ON THE BED AND STRAIGHTENS UP , WINCING SLIG
HTLY AND BREATHING HARD ) > $
01 < ( EASING OFF HIS SHOES ) > $
I DO . $
I LOVE THEM . $
< ( HE LIES BESIDE HER ) > $
< ( THEY EMBRACE . $
ROBERT'S HAND MOVES ON HER BACK , SEARCHING FOR A ZIP OR BUT
TONS ) > $
06 HEY , IF YOU 'RE GOING TO COVER ME WITH PASSION WHILE YOU
 TRY TO UNDRESS ME , SAVE IT . $
IT 'S EASIER IF I DO IT MYSELF . $
< ( SHE RISES AND STANDS BELOW THE BED UNDRESSING ) > $
01 < ( TAKING OFF HIS JACKET ) > $
YOU 'RE DETERMINED TO KEEP EVERYTHING MATTER OF FACT , AREN'
T YOU ? $
NEVER MIND , WE 'LL SEE . $
< ( HE STARTS TO REMOVE AND FOLD UP HIS TROUSERS ) > $
06 ROLLING ABOUT TRYING TO GET OUT OF YOUR CLOTHES IS ALL RI
GHT IN THEORY , BUT IT DOESN'T WORK IN PRACTICE . $
01 THEORY , PRACTICE . $
WHERE DID YOU LEARN TO MAKE LOVE ? $
IN A LABORATORY ? $
06 NO , WORSE LUCK . $
A LABORATORY WOULD HAVE BEEN WARMER . $
< ( SHE RUNS INTO THE LIVING-ROOM ) > $
01 NOW , WHERE ARE YOU OFF TO ? $
06 CIGARETTES , FOR AFTER . $
01 OH , YES . $
06 < ( PICKING UP THE BOX ON THE COFFEE-TABLE ) > $
YOUR BOX IS EMPTY . $
01 DOES IT MATTER AT THIS MOMENT ? $
06 < ( GOING TO THE DIVIDER AND CHECKING THE BOX ON IT ) > $
< ( GOING TO THE DIVIDER AND CHECKING THE BOX ON IT ) > $
YES . $
HAVEN'T YOU GOT ANY ? $
01 I 'LL FIND YOU SOME IN A MINUTE . $
< ( HE GOES TO THE LIVING-ROOM WITHOUT HIS TROUSERS . $
SHE GOES TO BEDROOM ) > $
06 AND BRING THE CHAMPAGNE . $
BE FUN . $
01 < ( MOVING ABOVE THE SOFA ) > $
YOU WOULDN'T LIKE ME TO GO OUT FOR A WALK ? $
THEN YOU CAN HAVE YOUR BEAN-FEAST IN PEACE . $
< ( HE TAKES A PACKET OF CIGARETTES FROM THE DRINKS CUPBOARD
 ) > $
06 I 'M JUST MAKING EVERYTHING NICE . $
01 < ( MOVING ROUND R OF THE SOFA ) > $
IT 'S VERY THOUGHTFUL OF YOU , AND YOU 'RE AN EMINENTLY PRAC
TICAL YOUNG LADY , BUT YOU ARE DESTROYING ALL - $
< ( HE COMES INTO FULL VIEW ) > $
- THE MYSTERY THAT SHOULD SURROUND THE SEXUAL INTIMACIES . $
WHY DON'T YOU TRY BEING A LITTLE ROMANTIC FOR A CHANGE ? $
< ( HE MOVES TO THE COFFEE-TABLE , UNDOING THE PACKET ) > $
06 ROMANTIC ! $
01 YES . $
< ( MOVING TO THE CHAIR L ) > $
LOOK BEYOND THE FACTUAL TO - SOMETHING ELSE . $
06 < ( LAUGHING ) > $
LOOK BEYOND THE FACTUAL . $
< ( SHE BECOMES HELPLESS WITH LAUGHTER ) > $
01 MAY I SHARE THE JOKE ? $
06 SAY THAT AGAIN AND LOOK IN THE MIRROR . $
01 I WAS MERELY SAYING THAT YOU SHOULD LOOK BEYOND ... $
< ( HE REALIZES WHAT A BUFFOON HE LOOKS , DROPS THE CIGARETT
ES , GOES FOR HIS TROUSERS AND HAULS THEM ON , CROSSING R BE
LOW THE SOFA ) > $
06 OH , HAVE YOU CHANGED YOUR MIND ? $
< ( SHE DOES UP HER DRESS , STILL LAUGHING ) > $
< ( ROBERT IS FURIOUS AND MORTIFIED ) > $
01 I FAIL TO SEE THAT THE SIGHT OF A MAN WITHOUT HIS TROUSER
S NEED CAUSE YOU SUCH HYSTERIA . $
06 I 'M SORRY , BUT YOU JUST LOOKED SO FUNNY . $
01 TO HELL WITH WHAT I LOOKED LIKE . $
06 DON'T SHOUT , IT MAKES YOUR EYE LOOK LIVID ... $
01 < ( MOVING L ABOVE THE SOFA ) > $
I OUGHT TO PUT YOU ACROSS MY KNEE . $
06 TRY IT . $
YOU TAKE ONE STEP TOWARDS ME AND I 'LL BURST OUT LAUGHING .
$
01 GO AWAY . $
< ( HE GOES INTO THE BEDROOM ) > $
06 < ( SPARRING ) > $
COWARD , COME ON . $
< ( MOVING C BELOW THE SOFA ) > $
I 'LL TIE ONE HAND BEHIND MY BACK . $
01 < ( PUTTING ON HIS SHOES ) > $
I THINK YOU ACTUALLY ENJOY ALL THIS . $
06 I 'LL SAY . $
HALF A PUFF OF POT AND I 'M AWAY . $
01 WELL , I DON'T . $
06 < ( MOVING UP L ) > $
CAN'T YOU STAND THE PACE ? $
01 NO . $
06 < ( FLOPPING DOWN ACROSS THE BACK OF THE SOFA ) > $
MIDDLE-AGED ROMEOS SHOULD LAY OFF YOUNG GIRLS IF THEY CAN'T
STAND THE PACE . $
#45 $
< ( THERE IS A PAUSE ) > $
01 < ( FURIOUS ) > $
I THINK YOU 'D BETTER GO . $
06 EH ! $
01 < ( TAKING MONEY FROM THE R BEDSIDE DRAWER ) > $
I 'LL GIVE YOU SOME MONEY FOR A HOTEL . $
HERE . $
< ( HE MOVES LC ) > $
< ( THERE IS A PAUSE ) > $
06 YOU REALLY MEAN IT ? $
YOU WANT ME TO GO ? $
01 PASSIONATELY . $
06 OH . $
< ( AFTER A PAUSE , SHE RISES , PICKS UP HER BAG AND GOES TO
 THE HALL ) > $
WELL , THANK YOU FOR PUTTING ME UP . $
I HAVE ENJOYED IT . $
I HOPE YOU HAVE . $
< ( SHE PUTS HER COAT ROUND HER SHOULDERS . $
AFTER A PAUSE ) > $
WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO WASH UP FIRST ? $
01 A WOMAN COMES IN . $
06 < ( PICKING UP HER CASES ) > $
OH . $
< ( SHE STANDS HOLDING HER CASES , LOOKING FORLORN ) > $
01 ORPHAN ANNIE . $
YOUR RANGE IS REMARKABLE . $
< ( SHE SUDDENLY DROPS HER CASES AND RUNS TO HIM , THROWING
 HER ARMS ABOUT HIM . $
HE IS TAKEN ABACK . $
SHE IS CRYING ) > $
WHAT IS IT ? $
06 I LOVE YOU . $
01 YOU LOVE ME SO YOU HURL INSULTS AT ME . $
06 THAT 'S WHY . $
IF I DIDN'T , I WOULDN'T . $
01 OH , COME OFF IT . $
< ( HE MOVES TO THE BEDROOM ) > $
IF YOU DIDN'T YOU WOULDN'T . $
< ( HE PUTS ON HIS JACKET ) > $
06 < ( FOLLOWING HIM ) > $
BUT I DO . $
01 DO YOU WANT THIS MONEY ? $
06 NO , THANK YOU . $
< ( PAUSE ) > $
DO YOU WANT TO TRY AGAIN ? $
01 < ( CROSSING HER AND MOVING R BELOW THE SOFA ) > $
NO , THANK YOU . $
< ( HE SITS R ON THE SOFA ) > $
< ( SHE SITS GINGERLY ON SOFA . $
SHE SMILES APPEALINGLY AT HIM ) > $
SUNSHINE THROUGH RAIN . $
06 EH ? $
01 FIRST THE TEARS , THEN THE BRAVE LITTLE SMILE . $
06 I FEEL BRAVE WITH YOU . $
01 MY GOD , BUT YOU 'RE LOV - $
UM . $
06 OH . $
GO ON . $
SAY IT , PLEASE . $
01 YOU ARE . $
VERY LOVELY . $
06 AND SO ARE YOU , YOU 'RE - $
< ( SEARCHING ) > $
- VERY NICE . $
AND HANDSOME . $
< ( SHE KISSES HIM ) > $
< ( ROBERT DOES NOT RESPOND ) > $
AREN'T YOU GOING TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF ME NOW I 'VE FALLEN FO
R YOU ? $
#46 $
< ( SHE MOVES TO THE BEDROOM ) > $
I SHOULD , IF I WERE YOU . $
BEST TIME TO . $
< ( SHE SLIPS OUT OF HER DRESS ) > $
DON'T WORRY . $
I PROMISE I WON'T LAUGH . $
I 'LL LOOK THE OTHER WAY . $
< ( SHE HOLDS OUT HER HAND TO HIM ) > $
< LIKE A LAMB TO THE SLAUGHTER , ROBERT RISES AND STARTS TO
MOVE TOWARDS HER , AS - THE CURTAIN FALLS > $
#47 $
< ACT 3 > $
< SCENE - THE SAME . $
TWO WEEKS LATER . $
WHEN THE CURTAIN RISES , THE TELEPHONE IS RINGING . $
ROBERT ENTERS INTO THE CORRIDOR IN A HURRY . $
MARION FOLLOWS HIM , LOADED DOWN WITH ALL THE ODDMENTS THAT
ONE ACQUIRES ON A HOLIDAY ABROAD AND THE FLIGHT BACK . $
SHE HAS A STRAW BEACH BAG AND A B.E.A. BAG . $
IN THEM ARE BRANDY , CIGARETTES , FRUIT , CIGARS , A LONG FR
ENCH LOAF , A BEATLES-TYPE YACHTING CAP , SANDALS , BEACH BA
LL , HOTEL ASHTRAYS AND TOWEL . $
MARION ALSO HAS A LARGE , DAFT HAT . $
SHE IS IN A VERY CHIC DRESS BOUGHT IN FRANCE , AND ROBERT IS
 IN LIGHTWEIGHT CLOTHES . $
ROBERT OPENS THE FRONT DOOR AND RUNS ACROSS TO THE TELEPHONE
 . $
AS HE REACHES IT , IT STOPS RINGING . $
MARION STANDS IN THE HALL , HALF SUBMERGED IN BITS AND PIECE
S . $
01 BLAST . $
< ( ROBERT SEARCHES IN HIS POCKETS FOR A CARD . $
MARION DROPS EVERYTHING ) > $
CAREFUL , DARLING , YOU 'LL BREAK SOMETHING . $
< ( ROBERT EXITS TO THE SPARE ROOM . $
MARION DUMPS THE THINGS ON THE SOFA ) > $
06 ISN'T IT STINKING TO BE BACK . $
STINK , STINK , STINK , POOH . $
< ( ROBERT RETURNS FROM THE SPARE ROOM WITH AN INVITATION CA
RD ) > $
01 OH HELL , IT IS AT TWELVE-THIRTY . $
I 'M GOING TO BE LATE . $
TRY THAT NUMBER FOR ME , DARLING . $
< ( HE MOVES TO THE BEDROOM ) > $
06 DON'T GO . $
EH ? $
01 I MUST . $
06 WE COULD SAY THE PLANE WAS HELD UP EVEN LONGER . $
THEN WE COULD GO OUT SOMEWHERE . $
01 WHERE ? $
06 THE PARK . $
THE RIVER . $
BATTERSEA FUNFAIR . $
01 NO , THANK YOU . $
< ( HE OPENS THE SCREEN ) > $
06 WELL , SOMEWHERE . $
01 LOOK , DARLING , THESE PEOPLE ARE OPENING A RESTAURANT ON
 TOP OF A VAST SKYSCRAPER AND WITHOUT ME THERE THEY 'LL LOSE
 A LOT OF PUBLICITY . $
06 < ( TAKING OFF HER HAT AND MOVING TO THE BEDROOM ) > $
BIGHEAD . $
01 IT 'S TRUE . $
IF I DON'T GO NOBODY 'LL EVEN KNOW THEY 'RE UP THERE . $
THEY 'LL ALL PROBABLY DIE OF EXPOSURE . $
< ( ROBERT EXITS TO THE BATHROOM . $
MARION SITS R ON THE BED AND DIALS A NUMBER ON THE TELEPHONE
 ) > $
06 < ( INTO THE RECEIVER ) > $
JE VEUX S' IL VOUS PLAIT , LE NUMERO UN ET UN , SEVEN AND SI
X ... $
#48 $
' ALLO , 'ALLO IS ZAT ZE CROWS' NEST ? $
... O.K. , BUSTER , THERE 'S GOING TO BE A RAID ON YOUR CRUM
BY JOINT . $
I 'VE GOT THE D.A. WANTS TO SPEAK TO YOU . $
< ( SHE COVERS THE MOUTHPIECE AND CALLS SWEETLY ) > $
I 'VE GOT 'EM . $
< ( ROBERT ENTERS AND TAKES THE PHONE FROM HER ) > $
01 THANK YOU . $
< ( INTO THE RECEIVER ) > $
HULLO . $
ROBERT DANVERS HERE ... $
I BEG YOUR PARDON ? $
< ( TO MARION ) > $
THEY 'VE RUNG OFF . $
< ( HE REPLACES THE RECEIVER ) > $
06 IT MUST BE THE WRONG NUMBER . $
01 TRY IT AGAIN . $
IMAGINE TELLING ME TO DO A THING LIKE THAT . $
< ( ROBERT EXITS L . $
MARION DIALS AGAIN ) > $
06 < ( IN A " POSH " VOICE ) > $
HULLO . $
HULLO . $
IS THAT THE CROWS' NEST ? $
... I HAVE A CALL FOR YOU FROM MR ROBERT DANVERS . $
HOLD ON , WOULD YOU , PLEASE . $
< ( SHE COVERS THE MOUTHPIECE AND SHOUTS ) > $
HEY , PUDDEN , I 'VE GOT 'EM AGAIN . $
< ( SHE MOVES L OF THE STOOL ) > $
< ( ROBERT ENTERS ) > $
01 DID YOU COVER THE MOUTHPIECE THEN ? $
06 YES , WHY ? $
01 WE DON'T WANT ANYONE ELSE TO HEAR THAT NAME , DO WE ? $
06 DON'T WE ? $
01 < ( SITTING ON THE BED ) > $
NO . $
< ( MARION GOES TO THE HALL , CHANTING " GEORGIE , PORGIE ,
PUDDEN AND PIE ... " ) > $
< ( INTO THE RECEIVER ) > $
HALLO . $
MAY I SPEAK TO VICTOR HILARY , PLEASE . $
ROBERT DANVERS HERE ... $
THANK YOU . $
< ( MARION STARTS RUMMAGING IN THE B.E.A. BAG . $
SHE EXTRACTS SEVERAL LARGE CARTONS OF CIGARETTES ) > $
< ( TO MARION ) > $
HOW ON EARTH DID YOU HAVE THE NERVE TO BRING ALL THOSE THROU
GH THE CUSTOMS . $
06 I DIDN'T . $
YOU DID . $
I PUT THEM IN YOUR BAG . $
01 WHAT ! $
< ( INTO THE TELEPHONE ) > $
HULLO , VICTOR . $
ROBERT HERE . $
I 'M TERRIBLY SORRY . $
WE 'VE ONLY JUST GOT BACK AND I 'M GOING TO BE LATE . $
WE STAYED ON AN EXTRA WEEK IN CANNES , THEN GOT HELD UP AT N
ICE AIRPORT LAST NIGHT ... $
< ( MARION PUTS ON THE YACHTING CAP , THEN GOES INTO THE BED
ROOM AND TAKES OFF HER COAT ) > $
WE ? $
WE , THE PASSENGERS . $
I STAYED ON ... $
< ( MARION HOLDS UP A WARNING FINGER ) > $
I DON'T KNOW , SOME MECHANICAL FAULT . $
< ( MARION PUTS THE CAP ON ROBERT ) > $
IT 'S ALL SO DAMNED INEFFICIENT . $
#49 $
< ( MARION STRETCHES OUT ON THE BED ) > $
THEY SAY THE PLANE WON'T GO AND THERE ARE ALL THESE OTHER PL
ANES - $
< ( HE NOTICES MARION ) > $
- LOLLING ABOUT ALL OVER THE AIRPORT . $
NOW THEY 'VE LOST TWO OF MY CASES . $
I CAN'T BE WITH YOU TILL ONE . $
... $
< ( MARION SIGNALS ) > $
OH , GOOD . $
HANG ON . $
< ( HE COVERS THE MOUTHPIECE . $
TO MARION ) > $
YES ? $
06 ASK HIM IF I CAN COME , TOO . $
01 < ( INTO THE TELEPHONE ) > $
IT 'S ALL RIGHT . $
I 'LL SEE YOU SOON . $
GOOD-BYE . $
< ( HE RINGS OFF ) > $
06 WHY CAN'T I GO ? $
< ( SHE RISES , GOES TO THE LIVING-ROOM AND PUTS THE CIGARET
TE CARTONS IN THE DRINKS CABINET ) > $
01 YOU 'D BE BORED STIFF . $
06 I WILL BE HERE . $
01 I CAN'T JUST TAKE YOU ALONG TO A SERIOUS OCCASION THAT 'S
 ALL BEEN ARRANGED IN ADVANGE . $
06 WASN'T THE WINE-TASTING SERIOUS ? $
01 THAT WAS DIFFERENT . $
06 YEAH , NO PRESS THERE . $
01 IT 'S NOT THAT . $
06 < ( PICKING UP THE BEACH BALL ) > $
THAT 'S WHY YOU DISOWNED ME AT LONDON AIRPORT , WASN'T IT ?
$
01 < ( MOVING ABOVE THE SOFA ) > $
I 'M ONLY THINKING OF YOU . $
06 YOU DON'T HAVE TO WORRY . $
I 'M NOT ASHAMED OF YOU . $
01 ASHAMED ? $
MY DEAR GIRL , DO YOU REALIZE HOW MANY WOMEN WOULD GIVE THEI
R EYE TEETH TO BE IN YOUR SHOES ? $
< ( JOHN ENTERS THE CORRIDOR WITH TWO CASES AND RINGS THE DO
ORBELL ) > $
ANSWER THAT , PLEASE . $
< ( MARION THROWS THE BALL . $
ROBERT CATCHES IT AND EXITS TO THE BATHROOM . $
MARION OPENS THE DOOR ) > $
06 < ( RUDELY ) > $
OH , HULLO . $
04 < ( DISAPPOINTED ) > $
OH , HULLO . $
< ( CROSSING TO THE BEDROOM ) > $
MR DANVERS'S CASES . $
SHALL I TAKE 'EM THROUGH ? $
< ( JOHN GOES TO THE BEDROOM . $
ROBERT ENTERS ) > $
06 YEAH . $
< ( SHE TAKES TWO ASHTRAYS FROM THE BAG AND PUTS THEM ON THE
 COFFEE-TABLE ) > $
04 < ( WARMLY ) > $
OH , HULLO , SIR . $
NICE TRIP , I HOPE . $
01 SPLENDID , THANK YOU , JOHN . $
04 GOOD . $
NICE TO SEE YOU BACK . $
BOTH OF YOU . $
< ( MARION PUTS TWO OTHER ASHTRAYS ON THE DIVIDER ) > $
01 JOHN . $
THERE ARE TWO MORE CASES COMING FROM THE AIR TERMINAL WHEN T
HEY FIND 'EM . $
PAY THE TAXI AND BRING 'EM UP WHEN THEY ARRIVE , WOULD YOU ?
 $
#50 $
< ( MARION RUMMAGES IN HER HANDBAG ) > $
04 RIGHT , SIR . $
01 THANK YOU . $
HERE . $
< ( HE TIPS JOHN ) > $
04 THANK YOU , SIR . $
< ( HE GOES INTO THE LIVING-ROOM ) > $
< ( ROBERT EXITS INTO THE BATHROOM ) > $
04 ANYTHING I CAN DO FOR YOU , MISS ? $
06 SUCH AS ? $
04 LIKE GETTING YOU A TAXI . $
06 NO , THANK YOU , PORTER . $
< ( SHE DELIBERATELY WAVES HER HANDKERCHIEF IN THE AIR . $
IT IS FULL OF SCRAPS OF CONFETTI ) > $
< ( JOHN STARES APPALLED AS HE IS SHOWERED WITH CONFETTI ) >
 $
I 'M NOT GOING ANYWHERE . $
< ( SHE TAKES A PAIR OF SCISSORS FROM HER BAG ) > $
04 YES , MISS - ER - MADAM . $
OH . $
< ( JOHN EXITS R MISERABLY . $
MARION PICKS UP A HOTEL TOWEL , SITS ON THE SOFA , AND START
S PICKING AT IT . $
ROBERT ENTERS FROM THE BATHROOM ) > $
01 I MUST BE OFF NOW . $
REALLY , DARLING . $
ALL THAT JUNK YOU BROUGHT BACK . $
06 IT 'S LOVELY . $
REMINDS ME . $
01 < ( PICKING UP AN ASHTRAY FROM THE COFFEE-TABLE ) > $
WHAT 'S THIS ? $
06 AN ASHTRAY . $
01 THE CARLTON ? $
DID YOU STEAL IT ? $
06 OH , THEY EXPECT IT . $
ANYWAY , I LIKED THEM . $
01 THEM ? $
06 I 'VE GOT A TOWEL , TOO . $
01 YOU 'LL BE ARRESTED . $
06 IT 'S ALL RIGHT . $
I 'M PICKING THE NAME OFF . $
01 THIS LUNCH WILL GO ON RATHER , SO I 'LL SEE YOU AT ABOUT
HALF-PAST FIVE . $
< ( HE KISSES HER , THEN GOES TO THE HALL ) > $
06 SOME LUNCH ! $
HEY , PUDDEN . $
01 I THINK " ROBERT " , NOW WE 'RE BACK , DON'T YOU ? $
06 I 'VE HAD A TERRIFIC TIME , ROBERT . $
THANK YOU . $
01 < ( MOVING BACK TO HER ) > $
THE PLEASURE WAS MUTUAL . $
< ( HE KISSES HER ) > $
YOU LOOK ADORABLE . $
06 YOU 'RE IMPROVING . $
YOU ALMOST SOUNDED AS IF YOU MEANT IT . $
< ( ROBERT EXITS DOWN THE CORRIDOR . $
THE LIGHTS FADE TO A BLACK-OUT . $
THE LIGHTS FADE UP AFTER A MOMENT . $
MARION WEARING AN APRON , IS STANDING ABOVE THE KITCHEN TABL
E POURING WINE OVER SOME PEACHES IN A BOWL . $
ANDREW ENTERS THE CORRIDOR AND RINGS THE BELL . $
MARION OPENS THE DOOR ) > $
YES ? $
< ( ANDREW LOOKS AT HER FOR A WHILE ) > $
WELL ? $
CAN I HELP YOU ? $
#51 $
03 < ( SADLY ) > $
I THINK IT 'S TOO LATE . $
06 WHAT ? $
WHAT DO YOU MEAN ? $
03 IS HIMSELF IN ? $
06 NO . $
WHY ? $
03 AH . $
IS HE DUE ? $
06 SORT OF . $
WHY ? $
03 WOULD IT BE INCONVENIENT IF I WAITED ? $
06 I DON'T KNOW . $
WHAT DO YOU THINK ? $
03 HM . $
THAT DEPENDS , DOESN'T IT ? $
IS THAT SOMETHING COOKING I CAN SMELL ? $
06 < ( ANXIOUSLY ) > $
DOES IT SMELL ALL RIGHT ? $
03 FINE . $
ARE YOU COOKING IT ? $
06 YES . $
03 AND IS HE EXPECTING YOU TO BE HERE ? $
COOKING ? $
06 YES , THEN NO . $
IS HE EXPECTING YOU ? $
03 YOU MEAN " YES " TO YOUR BEING HERE AND " NO " TO YOUR CO
OKING , I TAKE IT . $
06 IT 'S A SURPRISE . $
DO YOU THINK IT 'S SILLY OF ME ? $
03 WELL , IT 'S COURAGEOUS . $
06 YEAH , WELL , I THOUGHT I SHOULD HAVE A GO . $
DINNER FOR TWO . $
DOES THIS MEAN IT 'S FOR THREE ? $
03 I WISH IT DID , BUT I 'M AFRAID I HAVE TO GET HOME . $
JUST ASK HIM TO GIVE ME A RING , WOULD YOU , PLEASE , WHEN H
E FEELS STRONG ENOUGH TO LIFT THE TELEPHONE ? $
MY NAME IS ANDREW . $
06 < ( AMAZED ) > $
ANDREW . $
YOU 'RE ANDREW ? $
YOU 'RE ANDREW . $
ANDREW HUNTER , THE EDITOR . $
03 YES , BUT DON'T BE TOO IMPRESSED . $
IT 'S A VERY LOWLY STATION , REALLY . $
06 COME IN . $
03 THANK YOU . $
YOU , I TAKE IT , ARE MARION . $
< ( MARION LETS HIM IN AND CLOSES THE DOOR . $
ANDREW STANDS BY THE SOFA ) > $
06 SO YOU 'RE ANDREW ? $
< ( SHE STARES AT HIM FOR A WHILE , THEN LETS OUT A DIRTY GI
GGLE ) > $
HER-HER . $
< ( ANDREW SHIFTS UNCOMFORTABLY , THEN INADVERTENTLY CHECKS
HIS FLIES ) > $
03 TELL ME . $
HAVE YOU EVER THOUGHT OF BECOMING A DENTIST'S RECEPTIONIST ?
 $
06 NO , WHY ? $
03 YOU HAVE THAT INDEFINABLE SOMETHING . $
A SORT OF KNACK FOR MAKING ONE FEEL UNCLEAN . $
06 < ( LAUGHING ) > $
I 'M SORRY . $
IT 'S JUST YOU . $
I MEAN ROBERT'S DESCRIPTION OF YOU . $
I IMAGINED SOMEONE QUITE DIFFERENT . $
03 NOT THE YOUNG APOLLO THAT YOU SEE BEFORE YOU . $
06 NO . $
03 ROBERT HAS THIS THING , YOU SEE . $
HE DOES THIS TRANSFERENCE BUSINESS . $
HE IMAGINES HE 'S DORIAN GRAY AND I 'M THE SORT OF VERBAL PI
CTURE . $
#52 $
06 IT DOESN'T WORK , DOES IT ? $
03 YOU KNOW , YOU 'RE EVEN PRETTIER THAN I THOUGHT . $
DO YOU MIND IF I SIT DOWN ? $
06 NO . $
DO . $
< ( SHE CLEARS THE TOWEL AND OTHER THINGS OFF THE SOFA AND T
AKES THEM INTO THE BEDROOM ) > $
03 DID YOU ENJOY YOUR TRIP TO FRANCE ? $
< ( HE SITS R ON THE SOFA ) > $
06 YEAH , IT WAS FABULOUS . $
MIND YOU , I THINK THEY 'RE ALL A BIT CRACKED ABOUT THIS WIN
E-TASTING . $
03 YES , I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU MEAN . $
06 < ( MOVING C ABOVE THE SOFA ) > $
WHEN WE WERE IN SOME OF THOSE WINE CELLARS I THOUGHT WE WERE
 GOING TO HAVE TO KNEEL DOWN AND PRAY OR SOMETHING . $
BUT IT WAS SMASHING . $
I GOT SLOSHED EVERY DAY . $
< ( SHE PERCHES ON THE BACK OF THE SOFA ) > $
03 YOU 'RE SUPPOSED TO SPIT IT OUT SO THAT YOU CAN JUDGE THE
 NEXT LOT . $
06 WHY WASTE IT ? $
< ( SLIDING HER LEGS OVER THE BACK OF THE SOFA ) > $
NOBODY WANTED MY OPINION . $
03 WAS IT FUN GOING ON TO CANNES ? $
06 OH , IT WAS GREAT . $
EXCEPT FOR THOSE WAITERS MAKING SNIDE REMARKS WHEN ROBERT WA
S OUT OF EARSHOT . $
I SETTLED THAT , THOUGH . $
I WENT OUT AND BOUGHT A WEDDING RING AND SOME CONFETTI AND I
 GOT ROBERT TO CHANGE HOTELS . $
THEN , IN THE TAXI , I PUSHED A BIT INTO HIS TROUSER POCKET
. $
HE WAS FURIOUS . $
03 WHAT HAPPENED ? $
06 WHEN HE WENT TO TIP THE TAXI-DRIVER HE SPRAYED IT OUT ALL
 OVER THE FOYER . $
HE WENT PURPLE AND I BLUSHED AND EVERYBODY FROM THEN ON WAS
AS NICE AS PIE . $
HAVE YOU EVER TRIED IT ? $
03 ONLY ONCE AND THAT WAS OFFICIAL . $
06 IT 'S SUPER . $
I 'LL NEVER GO ON A DIRTY WEEK-END AGAIN WITHOUT SOME . $
EVERYBODY 'S SO NICE TO YOU . $
THEN ROBERT FELL FOR IT AND OVERDID IT LIKE MAD . $
EVERY TIME HE WENT OUT IT WAS LIKE A PAPER CHASE . $
03 WHERE 'S ROBERT NOW ? $
06 OPENING SOME NEW RESTAURANT . $
HE 'S LATE . $
< ( SHE SLIDES INTO THE SOFA ) > $
CAN I ASK YOU A PERSONAL QUESTION ? $
03 < ( WINCES ) > $
WHAT DO YOU CALL PERSONAL ? $
06 DO YOU EVER CHASE A BIT OF SPARE ? $
03 JUST A SPLASH , PLEASE , AND A LITTLE ICE IF YOU HAVE IT
. $
06 EH ? $
OH , A DRINK ? $
< ( SHE RISES AND MOVES TO THE DRINKS ) > $
SORRY . $
WHISKY ? $
YOU HAVEN'T ANSWERED MY QUESTION . $
< ( SHE PREPARES HIS DRINK ) > $
03 WHICH ONE DID YOU HAVE IN MIND ? $
06 ABOUT CHASING A BIT OF SPARE . $
03 WHY DID YOU ASK IT ? $
06 WELL , ROBERT AND I WERE TALKING ABOUT MAKING PASSES AND
HE SAID YOU WERE THE ONLY MARRIED MAN HE KNEW WHO DIDN'T . $
< ( SHE GIVES HIM HIS DRINK ) > $
03 HE 'S RIGHT . $
CHEERS ! $
06 < ( SITTING ON THE BACK OF THE SOFA ) > $
WHY DON'T YOU ? $
03 WHY DON'T I ? $
WELL , APART FROM ANY QUESTION OF LOVE AND LOYALTY , I THINK
 IT 'S SUCH BAD MANNERS TO YOUR WIFE . $
#53 $
PEOPLE ALWAYS FIND OUT AND IT 'S RATHER LIKE PICKING YOUR NO
SE IN PUBLIC WHEN YOU HAVE A PERFECTLY ADEQUATE HANDKERCHIEF
 IN YOUR POCKET . $
06 < ( RISING AND GOING INTO THE KITCHEN ) > $
ROBERT SAYS THAT 'S WHY HE WON'T EVER GET MARRIED . $
BECAUSE HE 'S BOUND TO BE UNFAITHFUL . $
03 WHO BROUGHT UP MARRIAGE , YOU OR HIM ? $
06 OH , HIM . $
BUT I THINK HE WAS JUST COVERING HIMSELF IN CASE I DID . $
03 THAT SOUNDS LIKE OUR ROBERT . $
< ( MARION CHECKS THE TIME ON THE COOKER AND TURNS THE GAS O
N UNDER THE ARTICHOKES AND NEW POTATOES ) > $
06 DO YOU KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT FOOD ? $
03 YES . $
I HAVE A LIFETIME'S EXPERIENCE OF EATING . $
06 DO I PUT THESE PEACHES IN WINE IN THE FRIDGE - OR NOT . $
IT SAYS THE PEACHES SHOULD BE COLD , BUT THE WINE WARM . $
SO WHICH IS BEST ? $
03 < ( RISING AND MOVING TO THE HALL ) > $
IF IT WAS ME I 'D SHOVE THE PEACHES BACK IN THE FRIDGE , LEA
VE THE WINE WHERE IT IS AND DRINK IT . $
06 I THINK I 'D BETTER LEAVE THEM . $
I 'M DOING ROAST LAMB AND ARTICHOKES TO START WITH . $
I THOUGHT I COULDN'T GO FAR WRONG WITH THAT . $
WHAT DO YOU THINK ? $
03 SOUNDS FINE . $
IF HE CRITICIZES , THROW IT AT HIM . $
06 I SAY , ARE YOU ANY GOOD AT CHOPPING MINT ? $
03 I 'VE NO IDEA . $
06 < ( PUTTING THE MINT BOARD ON THE TABLE ) > $
WOULD YOU LIKE TO FIND OUT ? $
03 < ( RESIGNEDLY ) > $
YOU KNOW , THIS , MY GIRL , IS WHY HUSBANDS SPEND MOST OF SU
NDAY LUNCH-TIME IN THE PUB . $
< ( HE SITS R OF THE KITCHEN TABLE ) > $
< ( THE TELEPHONE RINGS ) > $
06 I THINK I 'VE GOT EVERYTHING TIMED RIGHT . $
THAT 'S WHEN THE TROUBLE STARTS . $
WHEN EVERYTHING 'S READY AT ONCE . $
< ( MARION ANSWERS THE PHONE WHILE ANDREW CHOPS MINT ) > $
< ( INTO THE RECEIVER ) > $
HALLO ? $
... YES ... $
OH , HALLO ... $
YES ... $
THAT 'S UP TO YOU ... $
WHAT ? $
RIGHT NOW ? $
I DUNNO ... $
OH . $
ALL RIGHT ... $
YES . $
SEE YER . $
< ( SHE RINGS OFF AND RETURNS TO THE KITCHEN ) > $
I HAVE TO GO OUT . $
03 RIGHT NOW ? $
06 YES . $
COULD YOU KEEP AN EYE ON THINGS , PLEASE ? $
03 YES , ALL RIGHT . $
06 < ( TAKING OFF HER APRON ) > $
WEAR THIS , IT 'LL SAVE YOUR SUIT . $
< ( SHE PUTS HER APRON ON HIM ) > $
03 < ( RISING ) > $
WHAT DO I DO IF ANYTHING EXPLODES ? $
06 IT WON'T . $
< ( PICKING UP THE OVEN GLOVE ) > $
JUST GIVE THIS JOINT A BASTE , WOULD YOU ? $
HERE . $
PUT THIS ON $
< ( SHE PUTS THE OVEN GLOVE ON HIM ) > $
#54 $
03 THANK YOU . $
IF YOU CAN DO THIS TO ME IN TEN MINUTES , WHAT STATE IS HIS
LORDSHIP IN ? $
06 < ( MOVING TO THE HALL ) > $
HE 'S BEARING UP . $
SEE YOU . $
< ( JOHN ENTERS R , STRUGGLING WITH TWO SUITCASES ) > $
03 < ( FOLLOWING MARION ) > $
YES , I HOPE SO . $
< ( MARION GOES AND OPENS THE DOOR , MEETING JOHN ) > $
06 JUST PUT THEM IN THE BEDROOM , PORTER . $
< ( MARION EXITS R . $
JOHN CROSSES WITH THE CASES AND MEETS ANDREW . $
JOHN EYES THE APRON ) > $
04 EVENING , MR HUNTER . $
I SEE YOU 'VE MET HER . $
< ( JOHN TAKES THE CASES INTO THE BEDROOM ) > $
03 YES , SHE 'S CHARMING , DON'T YOU THINK ? $
04 CHARMING . $
OH BLIMEY . $
03 WHAT 'S UP ? $
AREN'T YOU KEEN ? $
04 I DON'T KNOW . $
< ( CROSSING BACK TO THE HALL ) > $
I HAVEN'T REALLY GOT TO KNOW HER YET , HAVE I ? $
03 COME OFF IT , JOHN . $
I WON'T SPLIT ON YOU . $
04 HM . $
03 ONLY IT LOOKS AS THOUGH YOU MAY BE SEEING QUITE A BIT MOR
E OF HER . $
04 YEAH , I KNOW . $
WELL , HE 'S HAD A GOOD LONG RUN , SO I SUPPOSE IT 'S ONLY J
USTICE , GETTING HER . $
ONLY I GET HER , TOO , AND I HAVEN'T DONE NOTHING , HAVE I ?
 $
< ( JOHN EXITS R . $
ANDREW POURS HIMSELF ANOTHER DRINK , THEN GOES INTO THE KITC
HEN AND OPENS THE OVEN . $
HE SMELLS ) > $
03 UM ! $
< ( HE PICKS UP A MAGAZINE MARION WAS USING ) > $
A SIMPLE ROAST FOR TWO BY CLEMENT FREUD . $
CLEMENT FREUD ? $
THE LITTLE TRAITOR . $
< ( ROBERT ENTERS THE CORRIDOR WITH A BUNCH OF FLOWERS . $
HE OPENS THE HALL DOOR AND ENTERS THE HALL ) > $
01 DARLING . $
< ( HE ENTERS THE LIVING-ROOM , LEAVING THE DOOR AJAR ) > $
DARLING . $
03 YES , MY SWEET . $
01 WHO LET YOU IN ? $
03 GUESS . $
01 WHERE IS SHE ? $
03 SHE RECEIVED A PHONE CALL AND RUSHED OUT . $
SHE WON'T BE LONG . $
01 OH . $
03 DON'T WORRY . $
ANDREW IS WATCHING OVER YOU . $
THERE 'S DIN-DINS IN THE OVEN AND IF YOU PAT MY HEAD I 'LL F
ETCH YOUR SLIPPERS . $
WOOF-WOOF . $
#55 $
01 < ( PUTTING THE FLOWERS ON THE DIVIDER ) > $
WHY ARE YOU WEARING THAT THING ? $
03 IT 'S HERS . $
SHE PASSED IT ON TO ME . $
01 TAKE IT OFF . $
03 < ( SITTING AT THE TABLE CHOPPING MINT ) > $
WELL , I MUST OFFER YOU MY HEARTIEST CONGRATULATIONS , OLD B
OY . $
SHE IS A DOLL . $
THIS IS WHAT I CALL GOING OUT IN A BLAZE OF GLORY . $
01 GOING OUT ... ? $
03 AND SHE COOKS , TOO . $
WHY SHE BOTHERED WITH YOU , GOD KNOWS . $
01 < ( LOOKING INTO THE SPARE ROOM ) > $
SHE 'S A SWEET LITTLE THING . $
03 SWEET ! $
SHE 'S LIKE A RAMPANT PANZER DIVISION . $
01 WHAT DO YOU MEAN , SHE COOKS ? $
03 IT 'S ALL THERE . $
I 'M JUST THE SENTRY . $
01 < ( MOVING TO THE HALL ; SENTIMENTALLY ) > $
YOU MEAN SHE 'S TRYING TO GET ME DINNER . $
NOW , ISN'T THAT JUST LIKE HER . $
WHAT OTHER WOMAN WOULD DO THAT ? $
03 JUST ABOUT ANYONE I CAN THINK OF . $
01 < ( GOING TO THE KITCHEN AND LOOKING IN THE OVEN ) > $
I MEAN FOR ME . $
OH , MY GOD , I HOPE IT 'S EDIBLE . $
03 DON'T CRITICIZE , JUST EAT IT . $
01 I AM NOT CRITICIZING . $
I 'M DEEPLY TOUCHED . $
ROAST LAMB . $
GOOD . $
ARTICHOKES , SPLENDID . $
SHE SHOULDN'T LEAVE THE LID ON . $
MAKES 'EM TASTE BITTER . $
03 REALLY ? $
I MUST MAKE A NOTE OF THAT . $
01 < ( PICKING UP THE WINE BOTTLE ) > $
GOOD GOD , SHE 'S DRUNK AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF MY CHATEAU GRIS
, NUITS ST GEORGES 'FORTY-SEVEN . $
03 TRY THE PEACHES . $
01 GREAT SCREAMING BALLS OF FIRE . $
SHE 'S SOAKING 'EM IN IT . $
A WHOLE BOTTLE . $
03 YES . $
NOW YOU CAN GET DRUNK OVER THE PUDDING . $
01 AFTER ALL THOSE YEARS IN MY CELLAR JUST TO BE POURED OVER
 ... $
< ( HE LAUGHS ) > $
OH , WELL , WE ALL MAKE MISTAKES . $
LOOK . $
BLESS HER . $
SHE 'S PUSHED THE CORK IN . $
03 ROBERT , ARE YOU SURE SHE HASN'T PUSHED YOUR CORK IN . $
01 I SAY , OLD CHAP , DO YOU THINK SHE 'D BE OFFENDED IF WE
DISPOSED OF THIS MINT AND MADE SOME ONION SAUCE INSTEAD ? $
< ( ROBERT THROWS AWAY THE MINT AND SCRAPES THE BOWL CLEAN ,
 WATCHED BY AN INDIGNANT ANDREW , WHO FINALLY REMOVES HIS GL
OVE AND APRON . $
ROBERT GETS OUT SOME ONIONS ) > $
03 < ( RISING ) > $
SO MUCH FOR MY CONTRIBUTION . $
WHERE ON EARTH DID YOU FIND THIS GIRL ? $
01 WE MET . $
SHE FELL FOR ME AND HERE WE ARE . $
03 JUST LIKE THAT . $
< ( HE GOES INTO THE LIVING-ROOM ) > $
01 YES . $
03 < ( MOVING L ABOVE THE SOFA ) > $
THE POOR THING TOOK ONE LOOK AT YOUR THICKENING WAISTLINE ,
SCREAMED WITH ECSTASY AND KEELED STRAIGHT OVER IN A DEAD FAI
NT . $
#56 $
01 MORE OR LESS , YES . $
03 HER-HUP ! $
I DON'T BELIEVE A WORD OF IT . $
01 IT 'S TRUE . $
DO YOU REMEMBER THAT PARTY WHERE WE ALL GOT MIXED UP ? $
SHE WAS LIVING THERE . $
03 NO WONDER SHE WANTED TO LEAVE . $
01 < ( MOVING INTO THE LIVING-ROOM AND POURING HIMSELF A SHE
RRY ) > $
SHE WAS LIVING THERE WITH A DRUMMER . $
HE WAS MOVING ANOTHER FEMALE IN . $
SO ... $
03 < ( SITTING IN THE CHAIR L ) > $
ANY PORT IN A STORM . $
01 < ( MOVING TO THE SOFA ) > $
I MUST ADMIT THAT AT FIRST SHE SAW ME AS AN AVUNCULAR FUDDY-
DUDDY WHO 'D LOOK AFTER HER . $
03 HOW DOES SHE SEE YOU NOW ? $
01 < ( SITTING ON THE SOFA ) > $
I THINK THAT OUR TRIP ABROAD HAS CHANGED THE IMAGE . $
SHE 'S SO INTELLIGENT , YOU KNOW . $
VERY WITTY . $
INCREDIBLE IN ONE SO YOUNG . $
03 MUST ONE BE SENILE TO BE WITTY ? $
01 < ( SMILING ) > $
THAT 'S EXACTLY WHAT SHE SAID . $
SHE SEES THROUGH THINGS . $
03 YOU MEAN THAT CONTINUED PROXIMITY TO YOU ENABLES HER TO R
EALIZE THAT ALTHOUGH THE FABRIC IS DECAYING THE STRUCTURE IS
 STILL SOUND . $
01 IT 'S NO GOOD . $
YOU CAN'T RILE ME . $
NOT TODAY . $
SHE 'S VERY APPRECIATIVE OF BEING WITH ME . $
I TEACH HER A LOT . $
03 LIKE COOKING . $
01 YES , AMONG OTHER THINGS . $
03 THERE . $
NOW YOU HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON FOR THE LONG WINTER EVENING
S . $
THEN WHEN IT 'S SPRING AND YOU 'RE FEELING SEXY , YOU CAN SW
OP FRYING-PANS AND CATCH EACH OTHER 'S PANCAKES . $
01 THERE 'S ONE THING DIFFERENT , THOUGH . $
03 OH , WHAT 'S THAT ? $
01 SHE TEACHES ME A LOT . $
< ( ANDREW LOOKS AT ROBERT ) > $
03 AH . $
NOW , THAT IS DIFFERENT . $
01 < ( PUTTING HIS GLASS ON THE COFFEE-TABLE ) > $
I SAY . $
I MUST TELL YOU . $
IF EVER YOU WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE ROYALTY WHEN YOU GO TO A
 HOTEL WITH A WOMAN - I HAD THE MOST FABULOUS IDEA ... $
< ( MARION ENTERS THE CORRIDOR ) > $
03 TAKE SOME CONFETTI . $
01 < ( BLANKLY ) > $
YES , IT WORKS LIKE A DREAM . $
< ( MARION ENTERS THE HALL ) > $
06 HALLO , DARLING . $
< ( TO ANDREW ) > $
DID YOU KEEP AN EYE ON THINGS ? $
< ( SHE CLOSES THE DOOR ) > $
#57 $
03 WELL , YOU ONLY LEFT THIRTY SECONDS AGO . $
NOT A LOT CAN HAVE HAPPENED . $
06 < ( TO ANDREW ) > $
HUH . $
< ( IN PASSING ROBERT , SHE MOVES TO GIVE HIM A PECK ) > $
HOW ARE YOUR TASTE BUDS ? $
EXHAUSTED ? $
01 I 'VE HAD A LONG , HARD LUNCH . $
< ( ROBERT PUTS HIS FACE UP TO MARION . $
SHE RECOILS ) > $
06 PHEEOO ! $
WHAT DID THEY FEED YOU ON ? $
DEAD CAT ? $
01 IT WAS VERY HIGHLY SPICED . $
06 I SHOULD THINK IT NEEDED TO BE . $
< ( SHE GOES INTO THE KITCHEN TO LOOK IN THE OVEN ) > $
< ( ROBERT BREATHES ON TO HIS HAND , TESTING ) > $
01 < ( RISING ) > $
ONE OF THE HAZARDS OF MY PROFESSION . $
03 I DIDN'T LIKE TO MENTION IT . $
< ( ROBERT GOES INTO THE KITCHEN . $
HE GETS A SLICE OF DRY BREAD AND EATS IT ) > $
01 IT 'S SWEET OF YOU TO COOK , DARLING . $
I DO APPRECIATE IT . $
BUT , DARLING , YOU 'VE USED A WHOLE BOTTLE OF MY CHATEAU GR
IS , NUITS ST GEORGES 'FORTY-SEVEN . $
06 OH , SORRY . $
I WASN'T SURE , AND IT WAS THE DIRTIEST OLD BOTTLE I COULD F
IND . $
ASK ANDREW TO STAY AND EAT . $
HE 'LL BE COMPANY FOR YOU . $
01 AREN'T YOU COMPANY ? $
06 ASK HIM . $
01 < ( MOVING BELOW THE KITCHEN TABLE ) > $
YOU DO HAVE TO GET BACK TO GILLY FOR DINNER ? $
03 YES . $
01 HE CAN'T . $
06 < ( MOVING R OF ROBERT ) > $
OH WELL - LOOK - I KNOW I 'VE GOT DINNER AND EVERYTHING , BU
T - WOULD YOU MIND EATING ALONE ? $
01 NOT IF IT 'S ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY . $
06 THANKS . $
< ( SHE CUDDLES ROBERT ) > $
OH , YOU 'VE GOT ME SOME FLOWERS . $
01 WELL , DON'T SOUND SO TRAGIC . $
06 THEY 'RE LOVELY . $
01 I 'VE GOT SOMETHING ELSE FOR YOU . $
06 I 'VE GOT A PRESENT FOR YOU , TOO . $
< ( SHE MOVES INTO THE LIVING-ROOM AND ABOVE THE SOFA TOWARD
S THE BEDROOM ) > $
01 FOR ME ? $
WHY ? $
06 < ( STOPPING BY THE ENTRANCE TO THE BEDROOM ) > $
I THOUGHT YOU DESERVED ONE . $
ANYWAY , YOU HAD A BIRTHDAY WHILE WE WERE AWAY . $
01 HOW DO YOU KNOW . $
06 I LOOKED IN YOUR PASSPORT . $
< ( ROBERT REACTS AND GOES INTO THE SPARE ROOM . $
ANDREW LAUGHS ) > $
< ( QUIETLY ) > $
ANDREW , PLEASE STAY AND EAT . $
03 I 'M SORRY . $
MY SHEPHERD PIE IS WAITING . $
#58 $
< ( ROBERT ENTERS WITH A PACKAGE AND COMES DOWN C ) > $
01 HERE WE ARE . $
06 < ( MOVING C ) > $
FOR ME ? $
01 FOR YOU . $
06 OH , YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE . $
01 GO ON . $
06 ASPREYS . $
I DON'T THINK I SHOULD . $
01 OPEN IT . $
< ( MARION OPENS THE PARCEL AND TAKES OUT A BRACELET ) > $
06 OH , IT 'S FABULOUS , SUPER . $
OH , ROBERT , I CAN'T TAKE IT . $
01 LET ME PUT IT ON YOU . $
< ( HE DOES SO ) > $
IT 'S THE REASON I WAS LATE BACK . $
03 I WISH I COULD AFFORD EXCUSES LIKE THAT . $
06 < ( PUTTING THE BOX ON THE SOFA ) > $
YOU HAVEN'T LOOKED AT YOURS YET . $
01 I HAVEN'T GOT IT YET . $
06 OH . $
< ( SHE GOES TO THE CHAIR DOWN L ) > $
EXCUSE ME , ANDREW . $
< ( SHE PULLS A LARGE TUBE FROM UNDER THE CUSHION ON ANDREW'
S CHAIR ) > $
< ( PLAYING THE GAME , ROBERT CLOSES HIS EYES . $
MARION PUTS THE TUBE IN HIS HAND ) > $
01 HOW LOVELY . $
THANK YOU . $
< ( HE FEELS IT ) > $
WHAT IS IT ? $
< ( MARION SITS L ON THE SOFA ) > $
03 LOOKS LIKE A LONG OVERDUE HINT TO ME . $
06 IT 'S JUST WHAT HE NEEDS . $
01 TOOTHPASTE ? $
06 NO . $
IT 'S HORMONE FACE CREAM . $
01 < ( OPENING HIS EYES ) > $
EH ? $
06 YOU RUB IT IN ON YOUR FACE AND IT MAKES ALL YOUR WRINKLES
 DISAPPEAR . $
01 AM I SUPPOSED TO RUB THIS IN AT NIGHT LIKE SOME BLOODY OL
D HAG ? $
06 NO . $
IT 'S NO GOOD AT NIGHT , IT 'S ONLY TEMPORARY . $
IT WON'T LAST TILL MORNING . $
03 HA ! $
WHAT HAPPENS ? $
DOES HE JUST LIE THERE IN THE SMALL HOURS DISINTEGRATING LIK
E A HORROR FILM ? $
06 YOU CAN WEAR IT IF YOU 'RE GOING OUT SOMEWHERE SPECIAL ,
OR IF YOU HAVE TO BE ON TELLY . $
IT LASTS ABOUT FOUR HOURS . $
03 THEN - BLAH - FRANKENSTEIN . $
< ( ROBERT SULKS . $
MARION IS UPSET ) > $
06 OH , ROBERT . $
03 LOOK , MARION , DON'T WORRY , HE 'LL BE CREEPING OFF FOR
A SLY RUB AS SOON AS HE GETS USED TO IT . $
#59 $
06 WELL , I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO GET YOU . $
AND I THOUGHT THAT WOULD BE USEFUL . $
01 < ( SMILING WITH DIFFICULTY ) > $
I 'M SORRY . $
IT 'S A LOVELY PRESENT . $
THANK YOU . $
< ( ROBERT SITS IN THE CHAIR DOWN R . $
HIS SMILE COLLAPSES . $
THERE IS AN EMBARRASSED PAUSE ) > $
03 WELL , I THINK I 'LL CREEP QUIETLY AWAY . $
< ( HE RISES ) > $
06 < ( PANICS ) > $
NO , ANDREW . $
< ( SHE RISES AND MOVES TO ANDREW ) > $
PLEASE DON'T . $
I 'M JUST ... $
PLEASE KEEP ROBERT COMPANY ... $
01 < ( PUTTING THE TUBE OF CREAM BY HIM IN THE CHAIR ) > $
I DON'T NEED A NANNY . $
I 'M QUITE CAPABLE OF LOOKING AFTER MYSELF WHILE YOU DO WHAT
EVER IT IS YOU HAVE TO . $
06 ANDREW , WOULD YOU LIKE TO MAKE SURE THAT NOTHING BURNS I
N THE KITCHEN ? $
03 EH ? $
OH , CERTAINLY . $
COULD I HAVE A REFILL FIRST ? $
06 < ( MOVING ABOVE THE SOFA ) > $
HERE . $
TAKE THE DECANTER . $
03 < ( FOLLOWING MARION AND TAKING THE DECANTER ) > $
THANK YOU . $
YOU 'RE VERY BEAUTIFUL WHEN YOU 'RE BOSSY . $
01 SHE DOESN'T LIKE COMPLIMENTS . $
03 < ( AMAZED ) > $
DON'T YOU ? $
REALLY ? $
06 NOT MUCH . $
03 < ( MOVING BELOW MARION TO THE KITCHEN ; SADLY ) > $
I WISH YOU 'D HAVE A WORD WITH MY WIFE , SOMETIME . $
< ( HE DRAWS THE KITCHEN SCREENS ) > $
< ( MARION GOES TO THE BEDROOM , GESTURING TO ROBERT TO FOLL
OW . $
THEY SIT ON THE END OF THE BED , MARION L , ROBERT R ) > $
06 I THOUGHT IT WAS BETTER NOT TO TELL YOU IN FRONT OF ANDRE
W . $
I 'M GOING . $
01 I SEE . $
< ( HE DOES HIS BEST NOT TO LET ON HOW HURT HE IS ) > $
WHAT 'S THE RUSH ? $
06 < ( WITH A SHRUG ) > $
IT HAS TO BE NOW . $
< ( SHE RISES ) > $
01 I SUPPOSE THIS COULDN'T LAST . $
06 NO . $
< ( SHE TAKES A DRAWER FROM THE CHEST UP L AND EMPTIES THE C
ONTENTS ON THE BED ) > $
01 AT LEAST THIS IS TIDY . $
A JOLLY FORTNIGHT ABROAD , THEN ... $
06 YES . $
< ( SHE REPLACES THE DRAWER , THEN EMPTIES AND REPLACES THE
SECOND ONE ) > $
01 MUST YOU GO RIGHT AT THIS MOMENT ? $
06 YES . $
SORRY . $
OH . $
< ( SHE PUTS ONE OF THE CASES ON THE STOOL BELOW THE BED ) >
 $
I 'VE STILL GOT MY THINGS IN YOUR CASE . $
I 'LL RETURN IT . $
01 I WAS QUITE LOOKING FORWARD TO SEEING YOU TONIGHT , TOO .
 $
WHY DON'T YOU GO TOMORROW ? $
06 HE 'S COMING FOR ME , ANY MINUTE . $
01 HE ? $
06 JIMMY . $
< ( DURING THE FOLLOWING , SHE PACKS THE THINGS FROM THE DRA
WER IN THE CASE ) > $
#60 $
01 < ( RISING ) > $
THE DRUMMER ? $
06 YES . $
01 THAT HORRIBLE BLOODY DRUMMER ? $
06 YES . $
SSH . $
01 I WON'T SSH . $
WHY THE HELL ARE YOU ... ? $
06 KEEP YOUR VOICE DOWN . $
I 'VE JUST SEEN HIM . $
HE 'S MISSED ME . $
01 < ( AGHAST ) > $
HE 'S MISSED YOU . $
06 YES . $
HE 'S FORGIVEN ME . $
01 EH ? $
06 FOR GOING AWAY WITH YOU . $
01 HE 'S FORGIVEN YOU ? $
DON'T YOU REMEMBER WHY YOU CAME HERE ? $
06 YES . $
HE 'S GOT RID OF HER . $
01 WHAT ? $
06 WELL , HE 'S DOING IT NOW , ACTUALLY . $
HE ASKED ME TO COME BACK . $
HE BEGGED ME . $
SAID SHE WAS DULL . $
HE MISSED THE FLYING CROCKERY . $
I SAID NOT WHILE SHE WAS THERE . $
01 YOU HAVE YOUR PRIDE . $
< ( HE SITS ON THE STOOL ) > $
06 YEAH . $
HE SAID THREE WOULD BE INTERESTING . $
A NEW EXPERIENCE . $
I SAID , NEW FOR HIM . $
IN THE END HE SAID HE 'D GET RID OF HER . $
< ( SENTIMENTALLY ) > $
FANCY JIMMY MISSING ME . $
01 I SHALL MISS YOU . $
06 I KNOW . $
SHALL I GET HIM TO SEND HER ROUND HERE ? $
01 NO , THANK YOU . $
06 SHE 'S VERY PRETTY AND SHE 'S GOT NOWHERE TO GO . $
01 YOU SAID SHE WAS A HAG A FORTNIGHT AGO . $
06 I WAS BIASED THEN . $
OH , GO ON . $
YOU 'VE GOT ROOM . $
IT 'LL BE COMPANY FOR BOTH OF YOU . $
01 I DON'T WANT JIMMY'S CAST-OFFS . $
06 DON'T BE BEASTLY ABOUT HER . $
01 THIS SUDDEN MAGNANIMITY . $
06 YOU WOULDN'T LIKE IT IF SOMEONE CALLED ME ONE OF JIMMY'S
CAST-OFFS . $
OR ONE OF YOURS . $
01 I 'M NOT CASTING YOU OFF . $
NEITHER DID HE . $
06 WELL , YOU WOULDN'T LIKE IT IF SOMEONE CALLED YOU ONE OF
MY CAST-OFFS . $
YOU 'D BE TERRIBLY INSULTED . $
I DON'T SEEM TO HAVE A CLEAN PAIR OF KNICKERS TO MY NAME . $
01 WHY DO YOU WANT TO GO BACK TO THAT YOB ? $
06 I DON'T KNOW , I - JIMMY - WELL - HE MUST LOVE ME AFTER A
LL . $
01 WHAT YOU MEAN IS , YOU THINK YOU LOVE HIM . $
A FORTNIGHT AGO YOU SAID YOU LOVED ME . $
06 I DID ? $
SO I DID . $
< ( THOUGHTFULLY ) > $
ISN'T IT FUNNY ? $
< ( ANDREW CREEPS CAUTIOUSLY INTO THE LIVING-ROOM ) > $
01 < ( RISING ) > $
DIDN'T YOU MEAN IT ? $
06 YES , I DID . $
< ( SHE SHRUGS AND GOES INTO THE LIVING-ROOM ) > $
#61 $
< ( ROBERT SITS AGAIN ) > $
03 OH , SORRY . $
< ( HE STARTS FOR THE KITCHEN ) > $
06 < ( COLLECTING HER COAT AND BAG FROM THE HALL ) > $
IT 'S ALL RIGHT , ANDREW . $
03 ALL RIGHT ? $
I HEARD SHOUTING . $
THEN IT WENT QUIET . $
06 I 'M SORRY , ANDREW . $
ROBERT 'S NOT HIMSELF FOR THE MOMENT . $
03 < ( REALIZING THAT MARION IS COLLECTING HER BELONGINGS )
> $
AH . $
06 < ( PUTTING HER BAG AND COAT ON THE R END OF THE SOFA ) >
 $
YES , THAT 'S RIGHT , I 'M OFF . $
03 AH . $
06 < ( COLLECTING THE ASHTRAYS FROM THE DIVIDER , AND THE BR
ACELET BOX FROM THE SOFA ) > $
HE 'S A BIT SURPRISED . $
03 AH . $
06 BE ALL RIGHT IN A MINUTE . $
03 AH . $
01 DON'T KEEP SAYING ' AH ' AS THOUGH YOU 'RE HAVING A MEDIC
AL . $
03 OH . $
< ( HE RETURNS TO THE KITCHEN ) > $
< ( MARION RETURNS TO THE BEDROOM ) > $
01 SO YOU ONLY SAID YOU LOVED ME SO THAT I 'D KEEP YOU HERE
. $
06 < ( PUTTING THE THINGS IN THE CASE ) > $
NO , I MEANT IT . $
WELL , YOU DON'T LOVE ME , DO YOU ? $
SO WHAT 'S THE ODDS ? $
< ( JIMMY ENTERS THE CORRIDOR AND RINGS THE DOORBELL ) > $
OH , THAT 'LL BE JIMMY . $
HE 'S GOT TO GO TO BASINGSTOKE FOR A ONE-NIGHT STAND . $
THE OTHERS WILL BE WAITING . $
WOULD YOU MIND VERY MUCH IF I LET HIM IN AND YOU KEPT OUT OF
 THE WAY . $
01 < ( RISING ) > $
CERTAINLY I WOULD . $
< ( ANDREW COMES FROM THE KITCHEN ) > $
06 I TRIED TO STOP HIM COMING HERE , BUT - $
< ( JIMMY RINGS AGAIN ) > $
- WELL , YOU KNOW WHAT HE 'S LIKE . $
01 ONLY TOO WELL ! $
AND I WILL NOT HAVE HIM IN HERE . $
< ( ANDREW CROSSES L TO THE BEDROOM ) > $
06 PLEASE KEEP YOUR TEMPER . $
< ( ANDREW KNOCKS ON THE BEDROOM SCREEN AND PUSHES IT OPEN A
N INCH ) > $
03 I THINK THERE 'S SOMEBODY AT YOUR DOOR . $
06 IT 'S JIMMY . $
< ( SHE MOVES TOWARDS THE BATHROOM AND EXITS ) > $
03 JIMMY . $
01 STUFF JIMMY . $
< ( HE MOVES TO THE BATHROOM AND EXITS ) > $
#62 $
03 < ( TO HIMSELF ) > $
STUFF JIMMY ! $
< ( MOVING TO THE HALL ) > $
THERE 'S STILL SOMEONE AT YOUR DOOR . $
< ( ANDREW ANSWERS THE FRONT DOOR ) > $
AH . $
YOU MUST BE JIMMY . $
COME IN . $
07 EH ? $
YOU 'RE NOT HIM , ARE YOU ? $
03 < ( MOVING INTO THE LIVING-ROOM ) > $
WELL , I 'M CERTAINLY NOT HER . $
07 EH ? $
OH . $
03 HAVE A DRINK ? $
SCOTCH ? $
07 THANKS . $
< ( HE CLOSES THE DOOR ) > $
NO , I MEAN YOU 'RE NOT FLYBLOW , WHAT 'S HIS NAME , WHO 'S
HAD MARI HERE . $
03 < ( POURING A DRINK ) > $
I HAVEN'T HAD THE PLEASURE . $
ARE YOU THE ONE WHO 'S HAVING HER - I MEAN - GETTING HER NEX
T ? $
07 < ( PEEPING INTO THE KITCHEN ) > $
WE WERE TOGETHER BEFORE HE BROKE IT UP . $
03 AH ! $
YES OF COURSE . $
YOU 'RE THE DRUMMER . $
07 YES . $
03 WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR LATEST ACQUISITION ? $
07 < ( CROSSING TO LOOK IN BEDROOM ) > $
OH , I BOOTED HER ARSE OUT OF IT . $
03 DID YOU REALLY ? $
YOU SWEET OLD-FASHIONED THING . $
07 WHERE IS SHE THEN ? $
03 WHO KNOWS ? $
RUBBING HER ARSE , I PRESUME . $
07 EH ? $
< ( THEY STARE AT EACH OTHER , PUZZLED ) > $
03 OH , YOU MEAN MARION . $
< ( HE LAUGHS ) > $
SHE 'LL BE OUT IN A MOMENT . $
LET HER DETACH HERSELF FROM HIM IN HER OWN WAY . $
< ( HE HANDS JIMMY THE DRINK ) > $
07 WHAT ? $
< ( HE TAKES THE DRINK AND MOVES BELOW ANDREW TO DOWN L ) >
$
SHE HAVING TROUBLE OR SOMETHING ? $
03 < ( MOVING DOWN R ) > $
COULD BE . $
BUT YOU WON'T HELP . $
THINGS ARE A BIT TACKY AT THE MOMENT ; IF YOU JOINED IN THEY
 'D BE IRREVOCABLY GLUED , I THINK . $
< ( HE SITS IN THE CHAIR R ) > $
07 HM . $
< ( HE SITS IN THE CHAIR L ) > $
< ( MARION RETURNS FROM THE BATHROOM WITH TOILET THINGS AND
PILES THEM INTO HER CASE . $
SHE THEN ENTERS THE LIVING ROOM ) > $
06 OH , HALLO . $
ANDREW , PLEASE STAY . $
HE 'S GONE ALL QUIET . $
< ( ROBERT ENTERS THE BEDROOM ) > $
03 ALL RIGHT . $
06 < ( CALLING ROBERT ) > $
DARLING - $
< ( JIMMY RISES ) > $
- COME AND MEET JIMMY . $
< ( SHE MOVES ABOVE THE SOFA ) > $
07 DARLING ? $
< ( HE MOVES BELOW THE L END OF THE SOFA ) > $
#63 $
06 DON'T BE SILLY . $
< ( ROBERT ENTERS THE LIVING-ROOM ) > $
YOU TWO HAVEN'T MET PROPERLY , HAVE YOU . $
NOW PLEASE FOR ME . $
BE FRIENDS . $
JIMMY , THIS IS ROBERT . $
ROBERT , JIMMY . $
03 AND AFTER YOU 'VE SHAKEN , I WANT YOU TO COME OUT OF YOUR
 CORNERS FIGHTING . $
07 HA . $
QUITE A LAD , YOUR MATE , ISN'T HE ? $
AH , WELL . $
DON'T KNOW WHY I 'M GETTING THE NEEDLE . $
I MEAN , I 'VE GOT THE BIRD . $
NO HARD FEELINGS , EH ? $
01 NONE . $
< ( ROBERT AND JIMMY SHAKE HANDS . $
MARION MOVES R OF THE SOFA ) > $
07 I MEAN YOU SEEM TO HAVE LOOKED AFTER HER ALL RIGHT , AND
THAT 'S THE MAIN THING , I SUPPOSE . $
01 I HOPE YOU 'LL LOOK AFTER HER , TOO . $
< ( MARION SITS ON THE R ARM OF THE SOFA ) > $
07 DON'T WORRY . $
I 'LL SEE SHE GETS THREE SQUARE JABS A DAY . $
01 I MEAN IT . $
THINGS LIKE SEEING SHE GETS TO BED AT A REASONABLE ... $
07 DON'T WORRY ABOUT THAT . $
I 'LL SEE TO IT . $
06 < ( TO ANDREW ) > $
AREN'T THEY BOTH SWEET . $
07 < ( SLAPPING ROBERT ON THE BACK ) > $
COME ON , WE SHOULD BE MATES . $
I MEAN , YOU MIGHT SAY WE 'RE SORT OF RELATED , IN A WAY . $
01 RELATED ? $
07 YEAH . $
I MEAN ... $
< ( HE GESTURES AT HIMSELF , MARION AND ROBERT ) > $
< ( ROBERT SITS DOWN L ) > $
06 YEAH . $
SORT OF UNOFFICIAL HUSBANDS-IN-LAW . $
OH , BLIMEY , I FORGOT TO PUT THE PEAS ON . $
< ( SHE RISES ) > $
07 WHAT ? $
01 I DON'T THINK IT MATTERS NOW . $
06 DON'T BE SILLY ; YOU 'VE STILL GOT TO EAT , HAVEN'T YOU ?
 $
< ( SHE GOES INTO THE KITCHEN ) > $
< ( JIMMY MOVES UP L ) > $
01 ANDREW , I COULD DO WITH A DRINK . $
< ( ANDREW RISES AND MOVES ABOVE THE SOFA ) > $
06 HEY , WHAT ARE THESE ONIONS FOR ? $
03 THAT 'S THE BEGINNING OF SOME ONION SAUCE . $
ROBERT THOUGHT IT WOULD BE BETTER THAN MINT . $
< ( HE POURS OUT A WHISKY ) > $
< ( MARION COMES FROM THE KITCHEN WITH A VASE . $
SHE PUTS THE FLOWERS IN IT AND STANDS THEM ON THE DIVIDER )
> $
#64 $
06 REALLY . $
OH , I MUST REMEMBER THAT . $
YOU KNOW , I 'M GOING TO MISS LEARNING ALL THESE THINGS . $
07 COME ON , MARI . $
THE OTHERS ARE WAITING OUTSIDE FOR US IN THE MINIBUS . $
WE 'VE GOT TO GET TO BASINGSTOKE . $
IF THEY GO WITHOUT US WE 'LL HAVE TO WALK IT . $
DRUM KIT AND ALL . $
06 DARLING , WOULD YOU GET MY CASES , PLEASE ? $
< ( ROBERT RISES ) > $
01 07 < ( TOGETHER ) > $
CERTAINLY , DARLING . $
< ( JIMMY AND ROBERT MEET ON THE BEDROOM STEP ) > $
07 NOW , LOOK HERE ... $
01 SORRY . $
< ( HE GOES TO THE HALL ) > $
I 'LL GET THE PORTER . $
< ( ANDREW HANDS ROBERT HIS DRINK AS HE PASSES . $
ROBERT PICKS UP THE HOUSE PHONE ) > $
07 WHAT FOR ? $
< ( HE GOES INTO THE BEDROOM ) > $
< ( MARION JOINS JIMMY IN THE BEDROOM ) > $
01 THERE 'S ANOTHER TRUNK , BOOKS OR SOMETHING . $
07 ANOTHER ONE ! $
OH , BLIMEY ! $
01 < ( ON THE PHONE ) > $
JOHN , WOULD YOU COME UP FOR THE CASES , PLEASE ... $
I KNOW YOU HAVE . $
NOW YOU TAKE THEM DOWN AGAIN . $
< ( HE RINGS OFF ; URGENTLY ) > $
ANDREW . $
03 WHAT ? $
< ( MARION LOADS JIMMY UP WITH HER THINGS ) > $
01 GET OUT . $
< ( HE MOVES R OF THE SOFA ) > $
03 EH ? $
01 THE SPARE ROOM . $
ANYWHERE . $
03 < ( KINDLY ) > $
DON'T DO IT . $
< ( MOVING L ) > $
IT 'S TOO LATE . $
< ( HE SITS DOWN L ) > $
< ( JIMMY AND MARION COME FROM THE BEDROOM AND CROSS TO THE
HALL ) > $
07 BLIMEY . $
THIS IS GOING TO BE A COMFORTABLE RIDE TONIGHT . $
YOU 'LL HAVE TO SIT ON TOP , MARI . $
< ( MARION STUFFS THE FRENCH LOAF UNDER JIMMY'S CHIN ) > $
THAT 'S ALL I NEEDED . $
< ( JIMMY EXITS DOWN THE CORRIDOR . $
ROBERT PUTS HIS GLASS ON THE COFFEE-TABLE AND TAKES MARION'S
 HAND AS SHE IS ABOUT TO FOLLOW JIMMY ) > $
01 MARION , DON'T GO WITH HIM . $
STAY . $
I 'LL MARRY YOU . $
BUT PLEASE DON'T GO . $
06 NO , I - I 'VE GOT TO . $
#65 $
01 I 'LL TAKE YOU ROUND THE WORLD . $
ANYTHING . $
06 YOU 'RE JUST SAYING THAT BECAUSE YOU THINK I 'M THROWING
MYSELF AWAY ON HIM . $
01 NO . $
I LOVE YOU . $
PLEASE STAY . $
06 OH . $
01 YOU WILL ? $
06 < ( TEARFULLY ) > $
OH , I WISH I COULD . $
YOU DESERVE TO GET ME . $
BUT I CAN'T . $
01 BUT I 'M OFFERING TO MARRY YOU . $
06 YES . $
01 GOOD GOD . $
< ( HE SITS ON THE R ARM OF THE SOFA ) > $
06 BUT THANK YOU FOR ASKING . $
< ( SHE KISSES HIM ) > $
< ( JIMMY ENTERS ) > $
07 HERE , HERE , WHAT 'S THE GAME ? $
06 HE 'S JUST ASKED ME TO MARRY HIM . $
07 OF ALL THE DIRTY ROTTEN TRICKS . $
THE MINUTE MY BACKS 'S TURNED HE 'S NICKING MY BIRD . $
01 < ( RISING ) > $
WILL YOU MARRY HER ? $
07 YOU MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS . $
01 YOU SEE ? $
HE DOESN'T GIVE A DAMN . $
< ( MARION RUNS L ABOVE THE SOFA . $
AS HE SPEAKS , JIMMY ADVANCES ON ROBERT , WHO BACKS DOWN L )
 > $
07 IT 'S BLACKMAIL . $
LISTEN , I 'M JUST ABOUT UP TO HERE WITH AN OLD GIT LIKE YOU
 TAKING LIBERTIES WITH MY BIRD , JUST BECAUSE I 'M BEING CIV
ILIZED ABOUT THE WHOLE THING . $
06 SHUT UP , JIMMY . $
07 < ( CONTINUING TO BACK ROBERT L ) > $
I 'VE NEVER CARED VERY MUCH FOR YOU , AND I 'M JUST ABOUT RE
ADY , NOW , TO STICK ONE ON ... $
< ( MARION GETS BETWEEN ROBERT AND JIMMY , PUSHING THEM APAR
T . $
ROBERT FALLS INTO THE CHAIR DOWN L . $
ANDREW LEAPS ASIDE JUST IN TIME ) > $
06 < ( AUTHORITATIVELY ) > $
SHUT UP . $
I 'M NOT GOING TO MARRY ROBERT , OR YOU EITHER . $
< ( ANDREW MOVES R ABOVE THE SOFA ) > $
07 I DIDN'T ASK YOU . $
06 DON'T CHANGE THE SUBJECT . $
07 ANYWAY , WHAT 'S WRONG WITH ME ? $
06 THERE 'S NOT TIME AT THE MOMENT . $
03 EXCUSE ME , DO YOU MIND IF I PUT IN A WORD ? $
06 WHAT ? $
03 WELL , YOU 'RE OBVIOUSLY NOT GOING TO LIVE HAPPILY EVER A
FTER WITH YOUNG LOCHINVAR HERE . $
07 WHO ? $
06 SCRUB ROUND IT . $
#66 $
03 AND ROBERT ISN'T GOING TO LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER WITHOUT
 YOU . $
WHY DON'T YOU DIVIDE YOURSELF UP AND MAKE THEM BOTH HAPPY ?
$
06 EH ? $
07 < ( HORRIFIED ) > $
YOU MEAN ... ? $
< ( HE GESTURES AT MARION , ROBERT AND HIMSELF ) > $
< ( JOHN ENTERS THE CORRIDOR ) > $
03 PRECISELY . $
07 NOW , LOOK HERE , YOU . $
06 SHUT UP . $
< ( MOVING R ABOVE THE SOFA ) > $
GO ON , ANDREW . $
< ( JOHN RINGS THE BELL ) > $
03 I 'VE FINISHED , I THINK . $
SHALL I ANSWER THE DOOR ? $
06 < ( SITTING ON THE R ARM OF THE SOFA ) > $
SHARE MYSELF OUT , YOU MEAN ? $
< ( SHE PUTS HER COAT , HAT AND BAG ON THE SOFA ) > $
03 IT SOUNDS AS GENEROUS AS IT IS . $
01 DO YOU THINK I 'LL MAKE DO WITH HALF A WOMAN ? $
03 NO . $
A WHOLE WOMAN . $
HALF THE TIME . $
SOUNDS LIKE PARADISE TO ME . $
06 < ( TO JIMMY ) > $
LIKE YOUR IDEA FOR YOURSELF , ONLY THE OTHER WAY ROUND . $
07 < ( CROSSING QUICKLY R ABOVE THE SOFA TO FACE ANDREW ) >
$
I THINK IT 'S DISGUSTING . $
< ( HE STARTS BACKING ANDREW ROUND THE SOFA ) > $
AND WHAT 'S MORE , I 'M GETTING A BIT FED UP WITH THE IDEAS
YOU AND YOUR MATE HAVE BEEN GIVING HER . $
< ( ANDREW BACKS DOWN L AS JIMMY ADVANCES ) > $
07 03 < ( TOGETHER ) > $
07 SHE 'S SHARP ENOUGH WITHOUT YOUR HELP , SO JUST KEEP YOUR
 ... $
03 I 'M VERY SORRY , I HAD NO INTENTION OF ... $
< ( ANDREW BACKS ON TO ROBERT'S FOOT . $
ROBERT YELLS WITH PAIN . $
ANDREW TURNS QUICKLY TO SEE WHAT IS WRONG AND HIS ELBOW CATC
HES ROBERT IN THE EYE ) > $
03 I 'M TERRIBLY SORRY , I ... $
07 < ( LAUGHING ) > $
WHICH ONE 'S THAT ? $
THE GOOD ONE , OR THE BAD ONE ? $
06 < ( RISING AND CROSSING L ) > $
SHALL I GET YOU SOMETHING FOR THAT ? $
07 < ( CROSSING R ) > $
COME ON , YOU . $
06 BUT HE 'S HURT ... $
07 HE 'S FRACTURED HIS LEFT EYELASH . $
HE 'LL LIVE . $
OUT . $
< ( JIMMY GRABS MARION'S HAND . $
MARION PROTESTS , BUT JIMMY HAULS HER OUT OF THE FLAT . $
MARION GRABS HER COAT AND BAG ON THE WAY . $
JIMMY AND MARION EXIT DOWN THE CORRIDOR ) > $
03 I DO APOLOGIZE , I WAS TRYING TO BE HELPFUL . $
01 GO HOME TO YOUR WIFE . $
03 DOES IT HURT ? $
01 YES . $
#67 $
03 THEY SAY A PIECE OF RAW STEAK ... $
01 < ( RISING ) > $
I KNOW WHAT THEY SAY . $
04 < ( MOVING INTO THE DOORWAY ) > $
DID YOU WANT ME , SIR ? $
01 < ( PEERS ) > $
OH , JOHN . $
< ( HE CROSSES R BELOW ANDREW ) > $
THE TRUNK . $
BUT THEY SEEM TO HAVE GONE WITHOUT IT . $
< ( HE SITS ON THE SOFA ) > $
04 OH , HAS SHE GONE , SIR ? $
01 YES . $
04 FOR GOOD ? $
01 I 'M NOT SURE . $
04 OH . $
< ( MARION RUNS IN , AND GRABS HER HAT FROM THE SOFA ) > $
06 COULD YOU GET MY TRUNK , PLEASE ? $
04 < ( EAGERLY ) > $
YES , RIGHT AWAY . $
< ( JOHN GOES INTO THE SPARE ROOM ) > $
06 < ( MOVING TO ANDREW ) > $
THANK YOU FOR THINKING OF THAT . $
YOU 'RE SMASHING . $
< ( SHE KISSES ANDREW , THEN KNEELS L OF ROBERT ON THE SOFA
, PUTTING ON HER HAT . $
TO ROBERT ) > $
SEE YOU , DARLING , SOON . $
OH , YOUR POOR EYE . $
01 COULD YOU DO THAT , LIVE WITH HIM AND - SEE ME ? $
06 WELL , I DON'T KNOW . $
I 'VE NEVER TRIED IT BEFORE . $
IT MIGHT WORK . $
03 THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE FIND IT VERY SATISFACTORY . $
06 ANYWAY , THINK WHAT A WEAPON I 'LL HAVE TO USE ON HIM IF
HE STEPS OUT OF LINE . $
01 SPLENDID . $
NOW I 'M A BLUNT INSTRUMENT . $
< ( JOHN ENTERS FROM THE SPARE ROOM WITH THE TRUNK ) > $
07 < ( OFF ) > $
MARI ! $
06 COMING . $
'BYE , DARLING . $
< ( SHE GOES TO THE HALL ) > $
OH , YOUR DINNER SHOULD BE READY . $
I DO HOPE YOU ENJOY IT . $
04 SURE YOU 'VE GOT EVERYTHING . $
06 IF I HAVEN'T I 'LL BE BACK . $
04 OH , GOOD . $
I 'LL LOOK FORWARD TO THAT . $
< ( MARION RUNS OFF DOWN THE CORRIDOR . $
JOHN FOLLOWS HER OFF ) > $
01 IT 'S NO GOOD . $
I COULDN'T DO IT . $
03 NO - OF COURSE NOT . $
HAVE A DRINK . $
01 NO , THANK YOU . $
MY STOMACH FEELS VERY PECULIAR . $
IS THAT LOVE , DO YOU THINK ? $
03 NO , WIND . $
< ( SITTING ON THE L ARM OF THE SOFA ) > $
YOU HAVEN'T EATEN YET . $
01 MY GOD , THAT GIRL . $
YOU KNOW , WHILE WE WERE ABROAD , WE PASSED THROUGH ST TROPE
Z AND SAW THE CROWDS GAWPING AT BRIGITTE BARDOT'S HOUSE . $
< ( HE SHAKES HIS HEAD IN DISBELIEF ) > $
03 WELL ? $
#68 $
01 YOU KNOW , MARION THINKS OF HER AS AN OLD WOMAN . $
03 < ( WEAKLY ) > $
GOOD GOD . $
01 IT WAS THE MOST SHATTERING EXPERIENCE OF MY LIFE . $
03 I THINK IT IS OF MINE . $
< ( THE TELEPHONE RINGS . $
ROBERT IGNORES IT ) > $
YOUR TELEPHONE . $
01 HUH . $
IT 'LL ONLY BE SOME FEMALE . $
< ( HE AUTOMATICALLY RISES AND GOES TO THE BEDROOM TO ANSWER
 IT , SITTING ON THE R SIDE OF THE BED ) > $
FLAXMAN FIVE FOUR SIX EIGHT ... $
SPEAKING ... $
WHO ? $
... $
I CAN'T QUITE UNDERSTAND YOU ... $
DID I ? $
... $
HANG ON , WOULD YOU . $
< ( HE COVERS THE MOUTHPIECE . $
TO ANDREW ) > $
SOME FOREIGN FEMALE SAYS I ASKED HER TO HAVE A CHINESE MEAL
WITH ME . $
03 GOOD IDEA . $
SHE MIGHT TAKE YOU OUT OF YOURSELF . $
01 I THINK I 'M ALREADY OUT . $
03 < ( RISING ) > $
GO ON . $
DO YOU GOOD . $
< ( HE MOVES R , AND PICKS UP THE TUBE OF CREAM ) > $
I 'LL LEAVE YOU TO IT , OLD FRIEND . $
JUST ONE THING . $
DO YOURSELF A FAVOUR . $
< ( HE TOSSES THE TUBE OF CREAM TO ROBERT ) > $
RUB SOME WELL IN BEFORE YOU MEET HER . $
OH , AND , ROBERT , DON'T STAY WITH HER LONGER THAN FOUR HOU
RS . $
< ( ANDREW EXITS DOWN THE CORRIDOR . $
ROBERT TOYS WITH THE TUBE OF CREAM , OPENING IT ) > $
01 HALLO , LOOK , I DON'T REALLY FEEL LIKE GOING OUT THIS ..
. $
IT 'S YOUR ONLY NIGHT OFF , EH ? $
WELL , IN THAT CASE , IF YOU FEEL LIKE A QUIET EVENING YOU C
AN COME ROUND HERE IF YOU LIKE AND I 'LL GIVE YOU SOME ROAST
 LAMB - WITH ARTICHOKES . $
< ( HE RINGS OFF . $
HE LOOKS AT HIMSELF IN THE MIRROR ON THE TABLE AS HE WIPES S
OME CREAM ON HIS FACE . $
HE GLANCES AT HIS WATCH ) > $
MY GOD , BUT YOU 'RE LOVELY ! $
< CURTAIN > $