<< *162 DAVID BAXTER : WILL SOMEBODY PLEASE SAY SOMETHING ? LONDON , PLAYS AND PLAYERS . 1967 . PP. 27-64 . FIRST PERF. : 140267 . CHAR. : 01 TREBOR , 02 WEBSTER , 03 GIRL >> $ #27 $ < ( PLAY OPENS , SEMI-DARKNESS , BARE STAGE . $ WE PICK UP WEBSTER , SITTING , SINGING TO HIMSELF SOFTLY . ) > $ 02 IT 'S NICE TO KNOW WHERE YOU ARE , AND WHAT YOU 'RE DOING , OR AT LEAST TRYING TO DO , LIKE SITTING ON A LAVATORY SEA T , YOU KNOW WHAT YOU 'RE DOING , IN FACT , IT 'S PROBABLY T HE ONLY TIME YOU DO KNOW WHAT YOU 'RE DOING . $ I 'M TALKING TO MYSELF , I REALISE THAT , BUT IT DOESN'T WOR RY ME , WHEN YOU 'RE ALONE YOU DO A LOT OF THINGS THAT WOULD WORRY SOME PEOPLE , BUT THEY DON'T WORRY YOU . $ I TRIED NOT TALKING TO MYSELF ONCE AND THE PAIN WAS UNBEARAB LE . $ THINKING : THAT 'S ANOTHER THING I TRIED TO DO AWAY WITH , B ECAUSE I DISCOVERED IF YOU DO AWAY WITH THOUGHT YOU DO AWAY WITH A LOT OF OTHER THINGS , SUCH AS WORRY , DOUBT , MEGALOW ANIA , ANXIETY , GRIEF , DEPENDABILITY . $ OH , LOTS OF THEM , I THINK I MUST BE THE GREEDY TYPE THOUGH , I WANTED TO KEEP THE GOOD ONES , AND THROW OUT THE ROTTEN . $ CAN'T BE DONE , ALL OR NOTHING . $ < ( SINGS A BIT . ) > $ I 'M NOT OLD FOR THESE THOUGHTS . $ SOME WOULD SAY YOUNG , BUT IT REMAINS I HAVE THEM AND MUST D O SOMETHING ABOUT IT . $ WELL , I WENT TO THE END ONE WAY , NOW I MUST GO TO THE END THE OTHER . $ THREE TIMES I THREW MY BODY AGAINST THE DOOR OF DEATH , AND THREE TIMES I PICKED IT UP AND WALKED , HEAD-BOWED , AWAY . $ DEATH DOESN'T WANT ME , AND I FIND NO POETRY IN LIVING , SO I SIT IN SEMI-DEATH LIKE A PRAYING MANTIS , WAITING FOR SOME BODY OR SOMETHING ... I GO LOOKING FOR OBLIVION AND ALL I FI ND IS A VOID ... I GO LOOKING FOR A VOID AND ALL I FIND IS O BLIVION , STRANGE , YOU NEVER FIND WHAT YOU WANT , AND IF YO U DO ? $ WHAT DO YOU DO WITH IT ? $ BUT NOT TO GET UPSET , SOMEBODY SOMEWHERE SOMEDAY WILL POINT A BONY FINGER IN MY DIRECTION AND IN A LOUD VOICE WILL SAY : ' HIM ' . $ < ( TREBOR WALKS ON TO THE STAGE . $ THE LIGHTS GO UP ON A BEAUTIFUL GIRL LYING ON A CHAISE LONGU E READING A MAGAZINE . $ WEBSTER AND TREBOR LOOK AT EACH OTHER , TREBOR WALKS OVER TO HIM . ) > $ 01 HELLO ! $ 02 HELLO ! $ < ( PAUSE ) > $ GOODBYE . $ 01 GOODBYE . $ < ( TREBOR WALKS OFF STAGE . $ LIGHTS GO DOWN ON GIRL . ) > $ 02 THEY 'RE GETTING YOUNGER AND YOUNGER . $ WHAT 'S A YOUNG FELLOW LIKE THAT DOING HERE ? $ BEATS ME . $ STILL , THEY SAY IT 'S A MELANCHOLY AGE . $ < ( WEBSTER STARTS TO PUT SOME PLANKS TOGETHER USC . $ TREBOR WALKS ON AGAIN AND LIGHTS GO UP SLOWLY ON THE GIRL . ) > $ 01 HELLO ! $ 02 HELLO ! $ 01 GOOD DAY FOR WORKING OUT IN THE OPEN , ALL THAT FRESH AIR . $ TEA UP ! AND WALKING OVER WITH YOUR MUG . $ NOTHING LIKE IT , BUILDING SOMETHING SOLID THAT WILL LAST . $ 02 WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT ? $ 01 WORKING OUT IN THE OPEN ! $ SHIRT SLEEVES ROLLED UP , COLLAR OPEN , NOTHING LIKE IT ... $ 02 GOODBYE . $ 01 GOODBYE . $ < ( TREBOR WALKS OFF . $ THE DIM LIGHT GOES DOWN ON THE GIRL . ) > $ 02 I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO MAKE OF ALL THIS ? $ HE 'S TURNING OUT TO BE A BIT OF A WORRY . $ LET IT GO FOR A WHILE . $ < ( TREBOR WALKS ON AGAIN AND THE LIGHT DOESN'T GO UP ON THE GIRL . ) > $ 02 HELLO ! $ 01 HELLO . $ 02 YOU 'RE A BIT YOUNG , AREN'T YOU ? $ 01 DON'T BE DECEIVED BY THE FACE . $ 02 YES , WELL PHILOSOPHY ASIDE , SHALL WE GET ON WITH BUILDI NG THIS ? $ 01 RIGHT YOU ARE ! $ I 'LL JUST ROLL UP MY SLEEVES , TAKE A HAMMER AND A FEW NAIL S , AND THEN WE 'LL GET TO WORK . $ < ( LIGHT STARTS TO COME UP VERY SLOWLY ON THE GIRL . $ TREBOR SNAPS HIS HEAD ROUND VERY QUICKLY , AND THE LIGHT GOE S DOWN . ) > $ IT 'S GOOD TO USE YOUR HANDS , THERE 'S SOMETHING SATISFACTO RY ABOUT USING YOUR HANDS , IT MAKES ... $ < ( LIGHTS START TO COME UP AGAIN ON GIRL . $ TREBOR LOOKS AROUND TO SEE IF WEBSTER HAS SEEN IT , THE LIGH T WON'T GO AS EASY THIS TIME AND HE HAS TO GO THROUGH A FEW FACIAL EXPRESSIONS TO GET RID OF IT , IT DOESN'T WORK SO HE STARTS TALKING . ) > $ GET TO WORK , YES . $ < ( STARTS TO TALK FASTER AND LOUDER TO GET RID OF LIGHT ) > $ SOMETHING TO FEEL PROUD OF . $ DOING HIS SHARE . $ THIS IS THE WAY . $ IT 'S RIGHT ! $ I KNOW IT 'S RIGHT ! $ < ( TO WEBSTER ) > $ IT IS RIGHT , ISN'T IT ? $ #28 $ 02 WELL , I THINK SO . $ 01 GOOD . $ < ( TREBOR STANDS THERE AND LOOKS RELIEVED . $ THE LIGHT SLOWLY COMES UP ON THE GIRL , WEBSTER AND TREBOR S TAND THERE AND LOOK AT IT . ) > $ 02 GOODBYE . $ 01 GOODBYE . $ < ( WALKS SLOWLY OFF STAGE . ) > $ < ACT ONE > $ 02 YOU 'RE LUCKY ! $ 01 LUCK ! $ WHAT HAS LUCK GOT TO DO WITH IT ? $ YOU DON'T THINK YOU GET INTO MY POSITION THROUGH LUCK , DO Y OU ? $ YOU GET THERE THROUGH GUTS , SWEAT , DETERMINATION . $ 02 YES , SIR . $ 01 THAT 'S YOUR TROUBLE , YOU 'RE A ' YES ' MAN . $ 02 YES , SIR . $ 01 THERE YOU ARE AGAIN . $ ' YES , SIR ' , CAN'T YOU SAY ' NO ' , IT 'S EASY , ' NO ' . $ I CAN ADMIRE A MAN WHO SAYS NO . $ WHY DON'T YOU STAND UP STRAIGHT ; BE A MAN AND SAY ' NO ' . $ 02 NO ! $ 01 YOU 'RE FIRED . $ AH ! $ AH ! $ AH ! $ THROW ANOTHER POOR ON THE FIRE . $ AH ! $ AH ! $ AH ! $ AH ! $ < ( WEBSTER WALKS AWAY , HEAD HUNG LOW , A BROKEN MAN . $ TURNS , TAKES A GUN OUT OF HIS POCKET AND SHOOTS TREBOR . ) > $ 02 BANG ! $ YOU 'RE DEAD . $ 01 OH ! $ NO . $ LOOK , YOU WOULDN'T SHOOT ME . $ 02 WHY NOT ? $ I 'M A RUINED MAN . $ I WAS DEPENDENT ON THAT JOB . $ 01 YES , BUT I DON'T THINK YOU WOULD HAVE SHOT ME . $ 02 WELL , YOU SHOULD HAVE THOUGHT OF THAT BEFORE YOU FIRED M E . $ 01 I WOULDN'T HAVE SHOT YOU . $ 02 WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES THAT MAKE ? $ 01 I THINK YOU MIGHT HAVE GIVEN IT A BIT MORE THOUGHT . $ 02 FORTUNATE FOR YOU I HAD A GUN . $ I MIGHT HAVE GONE AWAY AND PLANNED A REALLY SLOW , PAINFUL D EATH . $ < ( PAUSE . ) > $ 01 DO YOU HAVE A ... $ 02 YOU DON'T SMOKE . $ 01 HOW DO YOU KNOW ... $ 02 AND YOU DON'T DRINK . $ 01 IF YOU DON'T MIND ... $ 02 WILL YOU BE QUIET . $ < ( PAUSE . ) > $ 01 WHY DID YOU SAY I WAS LUCKY ? $ 02 WHEN ? $ 01 WHEN I CAME HERE . $ 02 OH , YES ! $ A MAN ASKED ME FOR DIRECTIONS . $ 01 DID HE HAVE A KIND FACE ? $ 02 IT WAS SORT OF WORRIED . $ HE SEEMED IN A HURRY . $ 01 OH ! $ < ( PAUSE . ) > $ 02 YOU 'RE SO STUPID . $ WHAT AN IMBECILE . $ 01 HOW DARE YOU . $ NO , I 'M AFRAID YOU 'VE GOT IT WRONG . $ YOU 'RE THE IMBECILE , YOU 'RE THE HAPPY IMBECILE , AND I 'M THE NEUROTIC GENIUS . $ 02 BUT I 'M NOT HAPPY . $ I 'VE TRIED TO COMMIT SUICIDE THREE TIMES . $ I 'M CONTEMPLATING IT AT THIS MOMENT . $ 01 COWARD . $ 02 AT LEAST I 'VE TRIED . $ 01 YOU DON'T GET MEDALS FOR TRYING . $ 02 IT 'S JUST THE THOUGHT OF THAT HOME IF I FAIL . $ NAME ? $ AGE ? $ RELIGION ? $ NEXT OF KIN ? $ ANY INSANITY IN THE FAMILY ? $ HAVE YOU PASSED WATER IN THE LAST TWO HOURS ? $ ANY SKIN DISEASES ? $ AND HOW 'S YOUR MOTHER OFF FOR FROZEN FOODS ? $ 01 THERE ARE NO IN-BETWEENS , I 'M SORRY . $ 02 BUT I 'M NOT HAPPY . $ 01 NO . $ YOU 'RE TOO STUPID TO BE HAPPY , AND I 'M TOO INTELLIGENT , AND WE 'LL MEET IN SOME KIND OF QUEUE OR WAITING ROOM . $ 02 THE SICK . $ 01 THE HEALTHY . $ 02 POOR . $ 01 RICH . $ 02 SAVAGE . $ 01 SOLUBRIOUS . $ 02 DECREPIT . $ 01 THE TALL . $ < ( SHOUTS ) > $ CIVILISATION MUST HAVE BEEN FOUNDED ON TRUTH AND UNDERSTANDI NG . $ 02 ON LIES , DECEIT , CRUELTY , HATE , SLIME , FILTH . $ NOW SHUT UP ! $ < ( BOTH STAND AND STARE AT EACH OTHER , AS IF PREPARING FOR BATTLE - TREBOR LOOKS VERY WORRIED . ) > $ 02 GHETTO . $ 01 EDEN . $ 02 DEFILE . $ 01 CREATE . $ WAIT A MINUTE ; PLEASE JUST HOLD ON A SECOND . $ < ( PAUSE . $ TREBOR PUTS UP HIS HAND AND BLOWS HIS NOSE , THEN WHIPS IN Q UICKLY WITH NEXT LINE . ) > $ FIELDS - FLOWERS . $ 02 CUL-DE-SAC - BOOTS . $ 01 LAUGHTER - RUN - SING . $ 02 DEFORMED - DUMB - BLIND . $ 01 HEALTH - MIND - BODY - LEARN - UNDERSTAND . $ 02 PLASTIC SURGERY - NOSES - EARS - EYES - TEETH - STRETCH . $ 01 LOVE - BEAUTY - DREAMS - GIVING - SHARING - GROWING . $ 02 MYTH - MUZZLE - RACK - PAIN - ZIPS - LEGS - WHIPS - CUTS - SALT - RUB - KNIVES - FLICK - BOOTS - KICK - NAILS - FACE - LIFE - LIVING . $ < ( TREBOR IS BACKING AWAY LOOKING VERY WORRIED . ) > $ SHALL I NAIL THEM IN ? $ 01 I WASN'T REALLY PREPARED . $ 02 YOU NEVER ARE . $ < ( PAUSE . ) > $ 01 I TELL YOU I DON'T KNOW WHERE THE MICRO-FILM IS ! $ 02 < ( TURNS ) > $ WHERE 'S THE MICRO-FILM ? $ FOR THE LAST TIME - OR YOU DIE . $ 01 IT 'S HIDDEN AMONG THE HAIRS IN MY LEFT NOSTRIL . $ 02 LIAR . $ WE 'VE HAD YOUR NOSE APART . $ 01 OH ! $ THEN IT MUST BE UP MY ARSE . $ < ( SCREAMS ) > $ YOU JUST KEEP YOUR HANDS TO YOURSELF , MATEY . $ < ( SNIFFS ) > $ WHO DIDN'T BRING THEIR MUM WITH THEM ? $ 02 SILENCE ! $ YOU NOW DIE , BRAVE AGENT . $ IT HAS BEEN AN HONOUR DOING BUSINESS WITH YOU , BUT NOW I 'M GOING TO KILL YOU . $ BUT BEFORE YOU DIE , I 'M GOING TO BEAT YOU AND TORTURE YOU SO YOU 'LL WISH YOU WERE DEAD . $ I 'M GOING TO STICK LITTLE TWIGS UP YOUR FINGER NAILS . $ I 'M GOING TO KEEP YOU AWAKE FOR THREE DAYS AND THEN LOCK YO U UP IN A ROOM WITH A LIVE SNAKE . $ #29 $ < ( HE HITS TREBOR ACROSS THE FACE . ) > $ 01 NO ! $ WAIT ! $ I 'LL TELL YOU EVERYTHING . $ WHAT DO YOU WANT TO KNOW ? $ YOU SEE , I 'M NOT ME AT ALL . $ YOU SEE , I LOOK WHOEVER IT IS I 'M SUPPOSED TO BE , BUT I ' M NOT ME . $ YOU SEE , THEY 'VE DONE EVERYTHING TO ME , BRAINWASHED , SPI NDRIED - EVERYTHING , BUT I 'M NOT ME . $ < ( WEBSTER HITS HIM AGAIN . ) > $ OH ! $ I 'LL TELL YOU EVERYTHING . $ WHAT DO YOU WANT TO KNOW ? $ 02 I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS I WANT TO KNOW , SO IT 'S NO USE TELLING ME . $ YOU SEE , I 'M NOT ME EITHER , SO I 'LL JUST GO ON SMASHING YOUR FACE IN . $ 01 WAIT ! $ WAIT ! $ WAIT ! $ ... I WANT TO CHANGE PARTS , DON'T YOU SEE ? $ IT 'S TOO EASY FOR YOU TO DOMINATE ME . $ YOU 'RE BIGGER , YOU CAN USE YOUR STRENGTH . $ IT WOULD BE MUCH MORE CHALLENGING FOR YOU TO PLAY MY PART . $ THAT 'S THE WAY IT 'S GOT TO BE , SO WE 'LL SWAP PARTS AND I 'LL INTERROGATE YOU . $ FINE ! $ FINE ! $ NOW . $ SILENCE ! $ YOU NOW DIE , BRAVE AGENT , BUT BEFORE YOU DIE ( REMEMBER YO U 'VE GOT YOUR HANDS TIED ) . $ FINE ! $ I 'M GOING TO BEAT YOU . $ 02 EXCUSE ME . $ CAN WE STOP A MINUTE . $ I DIDN'T WANT TO INTERRUPT ANYTHING , BUT DON'T YOU THINK YO U SHOULD HAVE AN ACCENT ? $ I MEAN , FOR YOUR PART - IT JUST SEEMS TO ME I 'D REACT SO M UCH BETTER AS WELL . $ I ASSUMED IT WAS INTERNATIONAL . $ OH , LOOK , LOVEY , I PUT THAT RATHER BADLY . $ NO , LOOK , I LIKED WHAT YOU WERE DOING , SOMETHING WAS COMI NG , I COULD SEE THAT . $ 01 I WAS WORKING INTO IT . $ AN ACCENT WOULD HAVE COME . $ YOU CAN'T JUST GO COLD STRAIGHT INTO IT , YOU KNOW . $ THAT 'S YOUR TROUBLE , MATE . $ 02 < ( TALKING TO AN IMAGINARY PERSON , WHILE COMFORTING WEB STER ) > $ I 'M SORRY . $ FOR GOD'S SAKE , WE 'RE NOT ANIMALS - I MEAN WE 'RE HUMAN BE INGS . $ IT 'S ALL RIGHT , LOVEY . $ WE HAVE FEELINGS , YOU KNOW - YOU WERE DOING FINE . $ THIS COULD BE A BIG BREAK FOR YOU . $ WE 'RE ARTISTS , YOU KNOW . $ 01 WHAT 'S ALL THIS WE ? $ I 'M THE ONE WHO 'S UP AGAINST IT . $ 02 YES , I KNOW ... BUT ... I JUST ... $ WHAT 'S YOUR EQUITY NUMBER ? $ 01 WHAT 'S THAT . $ 02 THE ACTORS' UNION . $ 01 WELL , THAT 'S NOTHING TO DO WITH ME . $ 02 EVERYBODY OUT . $ DOWN PROPS - EVERYBODY OUT . $ < ( GIRL COMES ON AND SINGS . ) > $ 03 ISN'T SHE A LOVELY CHILD . $ ISN'T SHE A LOVELY CHILD , ISN'T SHE A BEAUTIFUL CHILD , THO SE EYES , THAT LITTLE NOSE , SHE IS MINE AND NOTHING IS TOO GOOD . $ ISN'T SHE A LOVELY CHILD , ISN'T SHE A BEAUTIFUL CHILD , THO SE EYES , THAT LITTLE NOSE , I 'M SO PROUD AND SHE 'LL HAVE EVERYTHING . $ OH MUM AND DAD I TRULY LOVE YOU BOTH , YOUR SAFE PROTECTING WORDS , YOUR WARM SECURING ARMS , BUT IT 'S AN UNCERTAIN AGE , THIS DIFFERENCE BETWEEN GROWING UP , AND STILL HAVING ALL YOU WANT AND STAYING HIGH ABOVE THE CROWD . $ YES , I 'D LIKE TO CLING TO ALL THOSE CHILDLIKE THINGS , THE MEMORIES OF THEM NOW SEEM ALL SO FAR AWAY , THERE WAS SLEEP ING BEAUTY EVERY YEAR AT SCHOOL I PLAYED , AND A ROW OF ADOL ESCENTS WAITING FOR , I KNOW WHAT NOW . $ WHEN YOU 'RE NO LONGER SAFE IN SOMEONE'S ARMS , IT 'S STRANG E , AND SWEATY PALMS ARE LINKED FOR FAR TOO LONG , WHEN THE RECORDS STOP , YOU BOTH KNOW IT 'S NOT TIME TO LEAVE , AND Y OU 'RE NOT REALLY SURE OF WHAT YOU WANT . $ NO , IT 'S NO LONGER EASY BEING BEAUTIFUL , NOT WHEN IT MUST BE DEVIOUS AND CRUDE , DOING THINGS FOR KICKS ALL SEEMS A W ASTE OF TIME , WHEN THE FUTURE HOLDS A THOUSAND OPEN DOORS . $ I 'VE BEEN MADE CONSCIOUS OF MY GOYA LOOKS , AND IT 'S AN AD VANTAGE I CAN USE , BUT IT 'S AN UNCERTAIN AGE , THIS DIFFER ENCE BETWEEN MAKING THE MISTAKES , THAT YOU 'LL REGRET WHEN YOU LOOK BACK . $ BUT ISN'T SHE A LOVELY CHILD , ISN'T SHE A LOVELY , A BEAUTI FUL CHILD , THOSE EYES , THAT CURLY HAIR , SHE IS MINE , AND SHE 'LL HAVE EVERYTHING . $ < ( PAUSE . ) > $ 02 I WENT OUT WITH A GIRL ONCE . $ IT WAS ALL RIGHT . $ WE WENT THROUGH ALL THE MOTIONS . $ IT WAS ACCEPTABLE TO BOTH . $ SHE ACCEPTED MY SUICIDE TENDENCIES , AND I , IN TURN , ACCEP TED HERS . $ YOU SEE , WE HAD SOMETHING IN COMMON . $ OH ! $ NOT A LOT , IT 'S TRUE , BUT IT WAS A START - YOU MUST HAVE SOMETHING TO BUILD ON . $ MIND YOU , SHE HAD THE ADVANTAGE - SHE HAD ONLY FAILED ONCE , AND THEN IT WASN'T REALLY HER FAULT , BECAUSE , YOU SEE , HER FRIEND , WHO SHARES THE ROOM , HAD HAD SOME PEOPLE ROUND AND COOKED FOR THEM , AND HEATED THE ROOM AND SUCH - SO WHE N POOR NORA'S MOMENT OF TRUTH CAME , THERE JUST WASN'T ANY G AS LEFT . $ MAKES YOU WANT TO WEEP . $ 01 SHE COULD HAVE GOT SOME MORE SHILLINGS . $ 02 YOU ARE AN INSENSITIVE FOOL . $ 01 WHY ? $ 02 IT 'S A MOMENT . $ IT 'S LIKE CHRISTENING A SHIP . $ EVERYBODY IS LOOKING AND THE BOTTLE WON'T BREAK . $ IT 'S LIKE WHEN YOUR TOPEE SLIPS . $ THERE ARE MILLIONS OF THEM . $ NO . $ IT 'S BEST TO RETIRE GRACEFULLY WITH A FIXED SMILE , AND DO BATTLE ANOTHER DAY . $ 01 SOMEONE MUST WANT LOVE . $ 02 EVERYONE . $ 01 I 'M SORRY . $ 02 EVERYONE WANTS LOVE . $ 01 I CAN'T SPEAK TO YOU . $ < ( PAUSE ) > $ SO WHAT HAPPENED ? $ 02 WHAT DO YOU MEAN ? $ 01 WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU AND THIS GIRL , NORA ? $ 02 OH , YES . $ WELL , THIS IS THE INTERESTING PART - FOR YOU , ANYWAY . $ EVERYTHING WAS GOING ALONG SMOOTHLY - WELL , IT WAS GOING . $ THEN , ONE DAY , SHE HAD AN ACCIDENT , AND SHE LOST ONE OF H ER LEGS . $ #30 $ 01 OH GOD . $ < ( HE GETS UP AND MOVES CLOSER TO WEBSTER , PUTS A HAND ON HIS SHOULDER . ) > $ 02 WHAT ARE YOU DOING ? $ WHAT 'S THAT FOR ? $ 01 WELL ... I ... ER ... I ... UM ... I THOUGHT THAT ... $ 02 YOU 'RE SO EMOTIONAL . $ < ( TREBOR TAKES UP THE POSITION HE LEFT . $ PAUSE . ) > $ 01 GO ON . $ 02 AT THIS POINT MY LIFE BECAME UNBEARABLE . $ SHE FOUND AN ENORMOUS INTEREST IN THINGS AND PEOPLE , BECAUS E OF HER ONE LEG , YOU SEE . $ THIS ONE LEG GAVE HER A REASON FOR LIVING . $ SHE DID ERRANDS FOR PEOPLE , SOLD POPPIES , WENT ON MARCHES , TOOK MEALS TO PEOPLE . $ SHE EVEN TRIED TO TAKE ME IN HAND - I WOULD HAVE THOUGHT IT WOULD HAVE BEEN ONE MORE NAIL IN THE OLD COFFIN - ANOTHER RE ASON TO GET SHOT OF YOURSELF EVEN QUICKER . $ BUT NOT HER . $ MIND YOU , IT WASN'T ENTIRELY WITHOUT INTEREST FOR ME . $ YOU HAVE TO READJUST YOURSELF , I FOUND . $ I MEAN , LIVING WITH SOMEONE WITH TWO LEGS IS QUITE DIFFEREN T TO ONE WITH ONE LEG . $ I MEAN , ALL THAT RUNNING FOR BUSES IS OUT AND A MILLION OTH ER THINGS . $ BUT WHAT WAS LEFT IN WAS QUITE INTERESTING - LIKE MAKING LOV E TOOK ON A NEW AND NOT UNEXCITING FORM - POSITIONS AND LEG - I WON'T GO INTO DETAILS . $ 01 YOU 'RE SO CRASS . $ 02 DID YOU LIKE THAT STORY ? $ 01 IT WAS VERY MOVING . $ 02 YES ... I 'VE HAD MY MOMENTS . $ 01 THERE IS MORE TO LIFE THAN MOMENTS . $ 02 BUT THAT 'S ALL YOU GET , I 'M AFRAID . $ 01 IT 'S ENOUGH FOR SOME . $ 02 I SUPPOSE I COULD KICK YOU IN THE FACE . $ 01 YES , ANOTHER MOMENT . $ 02 ARE YOU TRYING TO PROVOKE ME ? $ 01 OH , WHERE WAS I WHEN THEY WERE GIVING OUT MUSCLES , STRE NGTH , HEIGHT , WEIGHT ? $ 02 YOU WERE LAST IN THE QUEUE , MATE . $ 01 MY STRENGTH IS IN MY MIND . $ 02 THEN WHAT ARE YOU WORRYING ABOUT ? $ 01 AND WHAT ABOUT MY FACE ? $ 02 YOU WERE LAST AGAIN . $ 01 BUT I HAVE NICE FEET . $ 02 FEET WILL NEVER REPLACE FACES . $ 01 I HAVE EXPRESSIVE HANDS . $ 02 WHAT ON EARTH COULD THEY EXPRESS ? $ 01 DETERGENTS ON TELEVISION . $ MIN - IF I POLISHED THEM UP A BIT , I COULD GRASP BOTTLES OF SOMETHING . $ MY HANDS COULD BECOME NATIONAL HEROES , BUT I 'D HAVE TO WEA R GLOVES , OF COURSE , TO PROTECT THEM , OR PUT THEM IN MY P OCKETS . $ ALSO , I WOULD HAVE TO EXERCISE THEM , SEND THEM TO DRAMA SC HOOL - YOU MUST KEEP IN TRAINING . $ AND INSURE THEM . $ THEY COULD TAKE TAXIS EVERYWHERE . $ MY HANDS COULD LIVE A LIFE OF LUXURY . $ STAND BACK , EVERYONE . $ GIVE THESE HANDS ROOM TO BREATHE . $ BACK , YOU FOOLS , DON'T CRUSH THOSE HANDS . $ AHH , SOMEBODY IS SHAKING MY HAND . $ 02 I COULD WEEP . $ 01 I COULD SUE . $ 02 YOU 'D MAKE A MILLION . $ 01 I WILL SUE . $ < ( SLIGHT PAUSE . ) > $ 02 SO NOW YOU 'RE A MILLIONAIRE . $ 01 YES , AND THANKS TO YOU , AND THOUSANDS OF OTHER FOOLS . $ YOU REALIZE I CAN'T SHAKE YOUR HAND , BUT I WILL KISS YOU . $ 02 PEOPLE WILL SAY WE 'RE IN LOVE . $ 01 LET THEM , AND I 'LL MAKE ANOTHER MILLION . $ 02 MONEY 'S NOT EVERYTHING . $ 01 NOT WHEN YOU 'VE GOT IT , NO . $ 02 DON'T BE BITTER ABOUT EVERYTHING . $ 01 LET ME TAKE YOU AWAY FROM ALL THIS . $ I 'LL BUY YOU MINK COATS , CADILLAC CARS , DIAMOND BRACELETS . $ 02 DON'T YOU SEE ? $ I WAS BORN TO BE A COP , AND THAT 'S ENOUGH FOR ME , BUT I ' LL ALWAYS REMEMBER YOU . $ 01 SO IT 'S ALL OVER ? $ 02 YES . $ WHAT WILL YOU DO ? $ 01 LIVE A LIFE OF LUXURY . $ 02 GOODBYE . $ 01 GOODBYE . $ MY NAME 'S TREBOR . $ 02 NICE . $ 01 I WISH THAT GIRL WOULD TALK TO US . $ 02 WE 'VE GOT NOTHING SHE WANTS . $ < ( PAUSE . ) > $ 01 WHAT DOES SHE WANT ? $ 02 EVERYTHING . $ < ( TREBOR TAKES A LOOK AT HIMSELF . ) > $ 02 ARE YOU CRYING ? $ 01 NO . $ DON'T BE STUPID , I 'M A GROWN MAN . $ YOU TALK UTTER RUBBISH SOMETIMES . $ I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU , REALLY I DON'T . $ I MEAN , LOOK AT YOU , AND WHAT ABOUT RELIGION ? $ EH . $ WHAT ABOUT RELIGION ? $ 02 WELL - WHAT ABOUT IT ? $ 01 COULD IT BE AN ANSWER ? $ 02 AN ANSWER TO WHAT ? $ 01 TO EVERYTHING . $ 02 WHY WASN'T THE VATICAN BOMBED ? $ 01 I 'M SORRY . $ 02 CAN YOU TELL ME WHY THE VATICAN WASN'T BOMBED ? $ 01 I DON'T KNOW . $ MAYBE THEY HAD CATHOLIC BOMBARDIERS . $ IS THAT ALL YOU 'VE GOT TO SAY ABOUT RELIGION ? $ 02 YES . $ 01 WHAT A JOKE YOU TURNED OUT TO BE . $ WELL , I BELIEVE IN THE RELIGION OF MAN . $ N OF MAN . $ YOU 'LL FIND ALL THE GOOD AND EVIL RIGHT HERE BEFORE YOUR EY ES . $ I REALIZE YOU CAN'T BELIEVE IN SOMETHING YOU CAN'T SEE OR RE LATE THINGS TO , A MYTHICAL SOMEONE WHO CAN'T BE TOUCHED . $ BUT YOU MUST BELIEVE IN SOMETHING , SO I BELIEVE IN THE GOOD NESS OF MAN , THINGS I CAN TOUCH AND LIKE - I CAN FIND OUT W HO MADE THEM , SO I KNOW WHY I LIKE THEM . $ IF I HAVE A STIMULATING CONVERSATION , I KNOW THAT IS GOOD . $ IF I SEE SOMEONE KICKING A DOG , I KNOW THAT IS BAD . $ YES , I BELIEVE IN THE GOODNESS OF MAN . $ 02 HOW MANY GOOD MEN DO YOU KNOW ? $ 01 AH . $ AH . $ I KNOW HUNDREDS . $ 02 WHERE ARE THESE GOOD MEN ? $ 01 DOING GOOD . $ 02 WHERE ARE YOUR FRIENDS ? $ 01 BEING FRIENDLY . $ 02 AM I ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS ? $ 01 < ( SEEING HOPE ) > $ WHY , YES , YES , OF COURSE YOU ARE . $ 02 AND AM I A GOOD MAN ? $ 01 YES . $ YES . $ YES . $ TAKE WHAT I HAVE BECAUSE YOU ARE A GOOD MAN . $ YES . $ YES . $ #31 $ 02 < ( WALKS OVER AND HITS HIM IN THE FACE , AND THEN , IN A COLD , AMERICAN , EVANGELIST VOICE - ) > $ DON'T TURN YOUR BACK THERE . $ JESUS CAN SEE YOU . $ YES , MAN , JESUS CAN SEE YOU DOING EVIL , SO YOU COME ON BA CK TO THE FOLD . $ YES , ALL YOU SINNERS , PUT YOUR MONEY RIGHT THERE , RIGHT T HERE IN THAT BOX , YOU SINNERS . $ GET YOUR INSURANCE POLICY HERE . $ DRIVE AROUND IN A ROLLS-ROYCE - DON'T BE DRAGGED DOWN UP THE RE WITH A MINI . $ - EH ! $ YES , YOU THERE . $ YOU DOING EVIL , JESUS CAN SEE YOU . $ GET YOUR CONNECTIONS HERE FOR THE WORLD AFTER . $ WHAT DO YOU MEAN , ' HE 'S GOT A ROLLS-ROYCE , YOU 'VE ONLY GOT A MINI ? ' $ - HUSH YOU BAD VOICE - THAT 'S JESUS - HIS OLD MAN OWNS THE JOINT . $ YES , YOU SINNERS , GET A CLOUD WITH A GOOD VIEW RIGHT HERE . $ NO , LADY , I 'M SORRY , YOU CAN'T PUT SILVER IN THAT BOX , ONLY PAPER MONEY . $ WHAT DO YOU MEAN , WHY ? $ BECAUSE MY ASSISTANT HAS TO CARRY THAT BOX . $ IF IT 'S FULL OF SILVER , HE COULDN'T EVEN LIFT IT . $ WHAT DO YOU WANT , HE SHOULD BREAK HIS BACK ? $ HE SHOULD GO TO HOSPITAL FOR A YEAR BECAUSE YOU WOULDN'T PUT THE DIFFERENCE OF HALF A DOLLAR DOWN . $ WHAT IS THIS ? $ GET THAT CHOIR SINGING AGAIN - I DON'T WANT TO BE HERE ALL N IGHT . $ WHAT DO I PAY THESE PEOPLE FOR ? $ ALL RIGHT , LADY . $ WILL YOU STOP CRYING AND PUT YOUR DOLLAR IN THE BOX , THAT ' S RIGHT . $ ARE WE ALL READY HERE ? $ RIGHTY-HO - HERE WE GO . $ DON'T YOU TURN YOUR BACKS , YOU SINNERS . $ JESUS CAN SEE YOU ; JESUS CAN SEE YOU DOING EVIL . $ HE CAN SEE YOU UP DARK ALLEYS , HE CAN LOOK INTO YOUR DIRTY MINDS - JESUS CAN SEE ROUND CORNERS , AND WHEN YOU GET A HEA DACHE , SINNERS , THAT 'S JESUS IN THERE . $ HE 'S IN THERE SCRAPING AWAY THE DIRT . $ DON'T TURN YOUR BACK - JESUS CAN SEE YOU . $ 03 BABY , THE GOOD TIMES ARE COMING AT LAST $ BABY , THE GOOD TIMES ARE COMING AT LAST , BABY , THE GOOD T IMES ARE COMING AT LAST . $ I 'M GONNA BRING THEM ALL TO YOU , I 'M GONNA THROW THEM AT YOUR FEET , SO OPEN YOUR DOORS WIDE , THROW YOUR WINDOWS TO THE WIND AND TELL THEM . $ BABY , THE GOOD TIMES ARE COMING AT LAST , BABY , THE GOOD T IMES ARE COMING AT LAST . $ I 'M GONNA SPEAK MY WORDS TO YOU , I 'M GONNA MAKE YOU UNDER STAND , TELL THEM ALL THE NEWS , SHOUT RIGHT OUT AT THE TOP OF YOUR VOICE AND TELL THEM . $ BABY , THE GOOD TIMES ARE COMING AT LAST , BABY , THE GOOD T IMES ARE COMING AT LAST , LISTEN TO ME WHILE I SPEAK TO YOU , 'CAUSE MY MIND IS OPEN WIDE , I 'M GONNA TELL YOU NOW TO F OLLOW ME , 'CAUSE I 'M PURE AND I 'M STRONG AND I 'M WHITE . $ SO CLOSE YOUR EYES AND SEE ME GOOD , WHEN YOU DREAM , DREAM OF ME IN TRUTH , BECAUSE MY PATH WILL LEAD TO RIGHT , 'CAUSE I 'M PURE AND I 'M STRONG AND I 'M WHITE . $ BABY , THE GOOD TIMES ARE COMING AT LAST , BABY , THE GOOD T IMES ARE COMING AT LAST , THE GOOD TIMES ARE COMING AT LAST ! $ < ( TREBOR PICKS UP A TAMBOURINE , AND BEGINS TO BANG IT , S INGING . ) > $ 02 ARE YOU ALL RIGHT ? $ I 'M SORRY ABOUT HITTING YOU . $ IT 'S JUST THAT I DON'T LIKE TO SEE PEOPLE MAKING FOOLS OF T HEMSELVES . $ WILL YOU ACCEPT MY APOLOGY ? $ 01 YES . $ < ( GIRL IS ABOUT TO LEAVE . ) > $ WOULD YOU LIKE TO STAY AND TALK FOR A WHILE ? $ 03 NO , THANK YOU . $ < ( MOVES AWAY BACK TO HER PLACE . ) > $ 02 SILLY MOVE . $ 01 WHAT ? $ 02 SILLY MOVE ON YOUR PART . $ 01 I SUPPOSE BEING POLITE IS SILLY TO YOU . $ 02 NO . $ BUT SHE NOW KNOWS YOU 'RE INTERESTED IN HER . $ 01 ONE DAY YOU 'LL GET IT . $ YOUR TYPE ALWAYS DOES . $ 02 AND WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY IT ? $ 01 AH . $ AH . $ YOUR COMEUPENCE . $ YES ? $ AND I 'M THE ONE . $ YES . $ THIS IS IT . $ IT HAS BEEN BESTOWED ON ME . $ WHY DIDN'T I REALIZE IT BEFORE . $ I FEEL FULL , $ MY CUP IS RUNNING OVER . $ < ( KNEELS ON FLOOR ) > $ I ACCEPT . $ IT 'S AS SIMPLE AS THAT , BUT THEN ALL THE IMPORTANT THINGS ARE SIMPLE , AND THIS , SURELY , IS THE MOST IMPORTANT . $ YES , YES , YES . $ I ACCEPT , AND WITH HONOUR . $ ONE HAND HOLDS THE FLAG , WHILE THE OTHER RESTS LIGHTLY , BU T FIRMLY , ON THE SWORD - FEET APART AND READY FOR THE FREY . $ I ACCEPT . $ < ( WALKS OVER TO WEBSTER , MIMES TAKING OFF A GLOVE , AND T HROWS IT AT HIS FEET . ) > $ 02 WHAT 'S THIS . $ 01 DO YOU ACCEPT ? $ 02 ACCEPT WHAT ? $ 01 MY CHALLENGE . $ 02 WHAT ON EARTH ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT ? $ 01 I STAND MY GROUND . $ I 'M DETERMINED YOU WON'T SQUIRM OUT OF THIS , AND I WON'T T AKE NO FOR AN ANSWER . $ DO YOU ACCEPT ? $ 02 IF YOU COULD SEE YOURSELF , STANDING THERE LIKE SOME EMAC IATED ATLAS . $ 01 DON'T SQUIRM - LIKE A WORM ON THE RUN . $ WELL , THERE 'S NOWHERE TO RUN NOW , YOU 'RE CORNERED , SO F IGHT LIKE A MAN . $ WILL YOU ACCEPT ? $ 02 ALL RIGHT . $ 01 GOOD . $ BUT YOU 'LL HAVE TO HELP ME . $ WAIT ! $ HOW WILL PEOPLE KNOW ? $ WHAT 'S THE GOOD IF NOBODY KNOWS . $ OH . $ DOOMED BEFORE I START . $ WHAT WILL IT ALL MEAN - NOTHING . $ A RECORD WITH NO GROOVES . $ 02 A GUN WITHOUT BULLETS . $ 01 A CAT WITH NO FUR . $ 02 A FRAYED ROPE . $ 01 AN EGG WITH NO YOLK . $ 02 < ( SHOUTS ) > $ ADVERTISE . $ 01 DON'T SHOUT , LET A MAN DIE IN PEACE . $ 02 DON'T SAY THINGS LIKE THAT . $ 01 I 'M SORRY . $ 02 ACCEPT , WELL , WHAT ABOUT IT ? $ WE 'LL ADVERTISE , IT 'S THE ANSWER . $ 01 IT 'S NOT BAD . $ YES , I 'M SEEING IT QUITE CLEARLY NOW . $ OUTLINE YOUR CAMPAIGN . $ 02 RIGHT . $ WE START IN LEICESTER SQUARE . $ 01 WHERE IN LEICESTER SQUARE ? $ #32 $ 02 IN THE LOO , OF COURSE . $ 01 OH , GREAT IDEA - SHREWD THINKING . $ 02 YOU BET . $ I 'LL CARVE THOSE LETTERS SO DEEP , THEY 'LL NEVER PAINT OVE R THEM , THEY 'LL HAVE TO TAKE THE WHOLE DOOR OUT . $ THEN WE MOVE OVER TO PICCADILLY , GET THAT SEWN UP , AND ON TO TRAFALGAR SQUARE - EVENTUALLY ALL LONDON . $ PRETTY SOON , NOBODY WILL PULL A CHAIN WITHOUT SEEING YOUR N AME . $ I MAY EVEN BRIBE THE ATTENDANTS TO PUT UP A LITTLE POSTER - NOTHING BIG - DON'T WANT TO SCARE PEOPLE . $ WE 'VE GOT TO SNEAK UP ON THEM - THAT 'S THE WAY IT 'S DONE . $ SOMETHING HOMELY , JUST UNDER THAT V.D THING . $ YEH . $ I 'LL PUT ' RAYMOND WAS HERE ' ... $ AH . $ AH . $ THERE 'S NO LIMIT TO THE PUBLICITY I 'LL GET YOU . $ WE COULD EVEN EXPAND TO THE OVERSEAS MARKET . $ OF COURSE , THE ARAB COUNTRIES ARE OUT . $ 01 WHY ? $ 02 THOSE FILTHY ARABS ARE ALWAYS ON THE MOVE . $ YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT THEY GET UP TO . $ WHY CAN'T THEY JUST STAY IN ONE PLACE AND HAVE A PROPER LOO ? $ THEY COULD RUIN THIS SCHEME . $ I HATE THEM . $ WHO DO THEY THINK THEY ARE , MOVING AROUND LIKE THAT ? $ 01 NOW TO PREPARE FOR BATTLE . $ A GENERAL STRIDES AMONG HIS TROOPS , LAYING DOWN A BLANKET O F CALM , INSTILLING CONFIDENCE - IT 'S ALL IN THE EYES . $ THE MEN KNOW THEY HAVE A LEADER . $ TIME TO PONDER ON DAYS GONE BY . $ SUNSET - FLOWERS ON THE HILL , COWS IN THE MEADOW , TWO WEEK S A YEAR AT SOUTHEND , SIX SCREAMING KIDS , TWO UP - TWO DOW N , A WIFE OLD BEFORE HER TIME , BONE FROM HEAD TO FOOT . $ THESE ARE THE THINGS THAT ARE ON HIS MIND . $ THOUSANDS WILL DIE . $ 02 BUT THEY KNOW WHAT THEY 'RE FIGHTING FOR . $ 01 YES , I LIKE THAT LINE . $ 02 NOW WE HAVE THAT OVER WITH , WILL YOU LET ME IN ON THE PL AN ? $ 01 THERE 'S NO PLAN , MY DEAR BOY . $ IT HAS BEEN BROUGHT TO MY ATTENTION , THAT I HAVE TO PREPARE THAT GIRL . $ 02 PREPARE HER FOR WHAT ? $ 01 FOR EVERYTHING AND ANYTHING . $ 02 ALL RIGHT . $ YOU HAVE TO PREPARE THE GIRL , BUT WHY CHALLENGE ME ? $ 01 BECAUSE TO PREPARE , I HAVE TO PROTECT HER . $ 02 FROM ME ? $ 01 YOU AND THOUSANDS LIKE YOU . $ 02 BUT I 'M HELPING YOU . $ 01 YES ? $ 02 SO I 'M HELPING YOU TO , TO ... $ NEVER MIND . $ 01 NOW TO PREPARE . $ 02 I HOPE I CAN BE OF SERVICE TO YOU ? $ 01 OF COURSE YOU CAN . $ YOU SEE , HOW SHALL I PUT IT ? $ YOU HAVE HAD EXPERIENCE WITH WOMEN , AND I MUST GET THIS GIR L TO FALL IN WITH MY PLANS IF I 'M TO SAVE HER , AND YOU WIT H YOUR VAST EXPERIENCE CAN HELP ME . $ YOU MUST TELL ME EVERYTHING . $ 02 IT MIGHT BE QUITE INTERESTING , AND NOT BEING INVOLVED - BUT I 'D MUCH RATHER YOU DIDN'T BOTHER , AND IF I CAN TALK Y OU OUT OF IT , I WILL TRY . $ 01 DO YOU THINK I COULD BE TALKED OUT OF SOMETHING AS IMPORT ANT AS THIS . $ DON'T WASTE YOUR BREATH . $ 02 I AM ONLY SPEAKING FROM EXPERIENCE , WHICH YOU WANT TO MA KE SO-CALLED USE OF , AND IF YOU WANT MY ADVICE - CALL IT OF F - IT 'S NOT WORTH IT . $ 01 IT 'S NOT WORTH IT . $ WHAT IS WORTH IT TO YOU ? $ ANSWER ME THAT . $ NO , YOU CAN'T , CAN YOU ? $ BECAUSE NOTHING IS WORTH IT TO YOU . $ WELL , SOME THINGS ARE WORTH SOMETHING TO SOMEONE . $ PEOPLE DON'T JUST DIE , AND GIVE THEIR LIVES GLADLY TO A CAU SE , OR WHAT THEY THINK IS RIGHT , FOR NOTHING . $ THERE 'S SUCH A THING AS HOPE , AND THERE 'S SUCH A THING AS FAITH . $ 02 WHERE DID YOU READ THEM , BECAUSE YOU 'LL ONLY FIND THEM ON PRINTED PAPER ? $ 01 THAT 'S ALL YOU CAN DO - DESTROY . $ WHEN THEY ASK FOR VOLUNTEERS TO KILL , YOU 'LL BE FIRST IN T HE LINE . $ IT 'S EASY TO PULL THEM DOWN , BUT IT TAKES MEN TO BUILD THE M UP . $ 02 AND YOU 'RE A MAN ? $ 01 NO . $ BUT I 'M TRYING TO BE . $ 02 GIVE ME A CALL WHEN YOU MAKE IT . $ 01 I 'LL MAKE IT AND WHEN I DO , I WON'T CALL YOU - I 'LL KI LL YOU ... $ OH , NO . $ IT 'S ALL WRONG . $ 03 I 'M THE KIND OF GIRL $ SOMETHING REALLY BEAUTIFUL IS WHAT I WANT , SOMETHING WONDER FUL , SOMETHING SO FINE , SOMETHING LIKE A COUNTRY HOUSE WHE RE FRESH WINDS BLOW , WHERE PRETTY THINGS CAN GROW , WITH RO OM TO ROAM . $ SOMETHING - SOMETHING NICE - SOMETHING HEAVENLY ! $ YES ! $ SOMETHING REALLY HEAVENLY AND WORRY-FREE , A LIFE OF LUXURY THAT 'S RIGHTLY MINE . $ I 'M THE KIND OF GIRL WHO LIKES TO GET HER WAY , THAT 'S TO SAY I 'VE ALWAYS HAD MY WAY , THERE 'S NO NEED TO STOP IT NO W THAT I KNOW IT , KNOW IT . $ I 'VE BEEN GIVEN EVERYTHING I 'VE EVER HAD , BY MY LOVEY-DOV EY MUM AND DAD . $ NOW IT 'S GONNA REST ON YOU . $ I WANT PICASSO TO PAINT MY PICTURE I WANT A GEORGIAN WITH FI FTY ACRES I WANT AEGEAN SUMMER YACHT TRIPS I WANT A CHALET T O SPEND MY WINTERS . $ ENTERTAINING ON A LARGE SCALE HOUSE STAFF FOR MORNING MEETIN GS YOUNG MEN TO GROOM MY HORSES I WANT , I WANT , I WANT , I WANT , I WANT , I WANT , I WANT , I WANT A FAMILY WITH MULT I-MILLIONS AND I 'LL TAKE ALL THEY 'VE GOT TO OFFER I 'LL TA KE THEIR YOUNG SON WHO WILL INHERIT IF NOT THE OLD BOY , WHO 'S KEELING OVER , I WOULD PREFER HIM TO BE AN OLD BOY WITH JUST A SHORT TIME BEFORE HE LEAVES US SO I WOULD THEN BE A T ITLED LADY WITH MULTI-MILLIONS TO START MY LIFE WITH ! $ I 'M THE KIND OF GIRL WHO LIKES TO GET HER WAY , NOT TO SIT AROUND AND WISH ALL DAY YOU 'VE GOT TO SWING IT , SHOW IT , AND THAT 'S THE MASSERATI WAY IT 'S GOING TO BE FORGET THIS JAZZ ABOUT THE CHASTITY THERE 'S A COVER CHARGE ON ME . $ YES NOW THE PLOTTING AND NOW THE SCHEMING TO GET MY OWN WAY AND BE APPEALING I 'LL TALK LIKE BABY TO MOVE MOHAMMED CREAT E A SCANDAL TO HAVE AN IMAGE BUT NOTHING SORDID , SOMETHING REGAL A CLASSIC WRITTEN ABOUT THE TRUE ME AND HAVE A BLUE PL AQUE WHILE I 'M STILL LIVING AND WHISPERED RUMOURS ABOUT THI S LADY . $ #33 $ COME ON YOU ARISTOCRACY AND STAND IN LINE HURRY UP BECAUSE T HERE 'S NOT MUCH TIME I 'LL BE OLD BEFORE YOU KNOW IT , NO P OINT TO SHOW IT . $ SO BRING ALONG YOUR SHIPLINES AND YOUR FAMILY TREE YOU MAY B E LUCKY IN YOUR BID FOR ME COME AND GET ME WHILE I 'M HOT ! $ YES , I 'M THE KIND OF GIRL WHO LIKES TO GET HER WAY , THAT 'S TO SAY I 'VE ALWAYS HAD MY WAY AND I 'M GOING TO GET IT N OW ! $ < ( PAUSE . ) > $ 02 I KNEW A GIRL WHO WAS VERY STRANGE . $ SHE DID EVERYTHING IN REVERSE THOUGHT PROCESS . $ WHEN I MET HER SHE WAS ON WITCHCRAFT . $ I THOUGHT FAIR ENOUGH , I KNOW A LOT OF PEOPLE WHO ARE INTER ESTED IN WITCHCRAFT , NOTHING STRANGE ABOUT THAT . $ SHE HAD TEN DOLLS , ALL MADE IN THE IMAGES OF TEN DIFFERENT MEN - ONE FAT , ONE THIN , ONE WELL DRESSED , ONE A BIT TATT Y , AND SO ON . $ I MUST SAY THAT WORRIED ME A BIT , BUT EACH TO HIS OWN , I T HOUGHT . $ SHE HAD A NICE DISPOSITION , AND WE GOT ON WELL ENOUGH . $ THERE WAS NO LOVE THERE , OF COURSE , I KNEW THAT FROM THE B EGINNING , BUT IT WAS PASSING THE NECESSARY TIME , AND WE G OT ON QUITE WELL . $ ANYWAY , TO GET BACK TO THE DOLLS , WHICH I ASSUMED SHE WAS STICKING PINS INTO - I CAME BACK INTO THE FLAT ONE EVENING E ARLY , WALKED INTO THE BATHROOM TO RUN SOME WATER , THEN WEN T TO THE BEDROOM TO GET UNDRESSED . $ AS I WAS GETTING UNDRESSED , I NOTICED SOMETHING ODD ABOUT T HE DOLLS - ONE WAS MISSING . $ I LAUGHED , AND THOUGHT TO MYSELF ONE DOWN NINE TO GO , AND GOT ON WITH MY BATH . $ THAT WAS THE EVENING WE BOTH STAYED AT HOME . $ WE USUALLY READ , AND WENT TO BED EARLY , BUT THIS EVENING S HE WAS BUSY MAKING LITTLE PAIRS OF TROUSERS , AND A JACKET . $ THEN I NOTICED SHE HAD A NEW DOLL - SHE ALWAYS MADE THEM HER SELF . $ SHE WAS VERY EXCITED , LAUGHING AND SINGING TO HERSELF , VER Y HAPPY . $ I HAPPENED TO NOTICE THIS DOLL'S SUIT WAS MADE OUT OF BLUE M OHAIR . $ I HAD A BLUE MOHAIR SUIT . $ I LAUGHED TO MYSELF . $ WE WENT TO BED , AND IT WAS MARVELLOUS . $ EARLY NEXT MORNING , I WOKE UP WITH A TERRIBLE PAIN IN MY LE FT CALF , TO FIND THREE LARGE PINS STUCK THERE , AND THE SOU ND OF MANIACAL LAUGHTER DYING AWAY DOWN THE HALL . $ I MOVED OUT VERY QUICKLY . $ THERE ARE MANY WAYS TO GO BUT THAT 'S NOT ONE OF THEM . $ SHE WAS STICKING PINS IN THE PEOPLE , NOT THE DOLLS . $ BUT THE POINT I 'M TRYING TO MAKE IS , WE 'VE TO FIND OUT WH AT CATEGORY THIS ONE FALLS IN . $ I MEAN , IT 'S NO USE YOU CHARGING IN THERE WITH A BOX OF CH OCOLATES AND SHE 'S ON A SLIMMING DIET . $ 01 WHY ARE YOU NOW TRYING TO HELP ME ? $ 02 DON'T WORRY , THEY 'RE PURELY SELFISH REASONS . $ BUT THE POINT IS , SURELY , THAT I 'M HELPING YOU . $ THAT 'S WHAT YOU WANTED , ISN'T IT ? $ AND DON'T LOOK SO SUSPICIOUS , YOU 'VE BEEN GIVEN THIS COVET ED ROLE TO PLAY . $ IT HAS BEEN BESTOWED ON YOU . $ YOU HEARD VOICES , DIDN'T YOU ? $ WHOSE , WE DON'T KNOW - I SUSPECT YOUR OWN , BUT THEN WHO AM I TO PASS JUDGMENT ? $ YOU ARE THE LEADER AND YOUR FEET AIN'T MADE OF CLAY , ARE TH EY ? $ < ( TREBOR LOOKS DOWN AT HIS FEET . ) > $ NO . $ YOU ARE THE LEADER , BUT BEHIND EVERY GREAT MAN STANDS THE L ITTLE WOMAN , THE ONE HE OWES SO MUCH TO , KNITTING AWAY AND SOOTHING HIS TROUBLED BROW . $ I SHALL BE THAT LITTLE WOMAN , BRING ALL YOUR TROUBLES TO ME . $ 01 I DON'T KNOW IF I CAN TRUST YOU ? $ 02 THAT 'S AN ODD QUESTION AT THIS STAGE OF THE GAME , ISN'T IT ? $ 01 YOU DIDN'T HAPPEN TO HEAR A VOICE SAYING SOMETHING LIKE " HELP HIM " , DID YOU ? $ 02 SORRY . $ 01 SINCE I AM , AS YOU SAY , THE CHOSEN ONE , AND AS YOU SAY IT HAS BEEN PUT INTO MY HANDS , THEN IT 'S MY RESPONSIBILIT Y . $ I SHALL HAVE TO INTERVIEW YOU . $ I SHALL HAVE TO FIND OUT MORE ABOUT YOU . $ WOULD YOU MIND ANSWERING A FEW QUESTIONS ? $ 02 NOT AT ALL , BUT TELL ME , WHAT HAPPENS IF YOU FIND ME UN SUITABLE ? $ I MEAN THERE 'S ONLY ME , AND IF I 'M NOT WITH YOU ... $ 01 THEN YOU ARE AGAINST ME . $ I SHALL HAVE TO FIGHT YOU . $ GOOD IS ONE THING , EVIL IS ANOTHER . $ 02 BLOODY WELL PUT . $ YOUR CLAY 'S HARDENING . $ WELL , SHALL WE START ? $ 01 THIS IS A VERY IMPORTANT MOMENT IN MY LIFE . $ DO YOU MIND IF I SAVOUR IT FOR A WHILE ? $ 02 I REALIZE THAT . $ < ( PAUSE . $ TREBOR WHIPS ROUND AND SNAPS OUT THE FIRST QUESTION . ) > $ 01 WHAT 'S YOUR NUMBER ? $ 02 CUCUMBER . $ 01 WHAT 'S YOUR HOUSE ? $ 02 MICKEY MOUSE . $ OH , COME ON . $ WE MUST BEHAVE ON A HIGHER LEVEL THAN THAT . $ LOOK , HOW ABOUT ME TALKING AND YOU GETTING THE ANSWERS FROM WHAT I SAY . $ YOU CAN THROW IN A FEW QUESTIONS WHEN YOU GET THE HANG OF IT . $ ALL RIGHT ? $ 01 START TALKING , AND REMEMBER I 'M AT THE CONTROLS . $ 02 DO I WANT PERSONAL GAIN ? $ NO . $ DO I WANT GUIDANCE ? $ NO . $ DO I WANT PERSONAL SATISFACTION ? $ NO . $ DO I WANT LOVE ? $ WELL , SINCE I NEVER FOUND LOVE , AND I 'LL SAY THIS MUCH , IT 'S GOT A GOOD HIDING PLACE . $ < ( THINKS ) > $ I MUST ANSWER , NO . $ 01 HAVE YOU TRIED LOOKING ? $ 02 FOR LOVE ? $ WELL , SINCE I NEVER FOUND IT I DON'T REALLY KNOW WHAT IT IS , YOU CAN'T GO LOOKING FOR SOMETHING AS INTANGIBLE AS LOVE , CAN YOU ? $ I MEAN I KNOW WHAT POVERTY AND HATE , LUST AND LIES ARE , YO U CAN FIND THOSE ANY DAY OF THE WEEK , THEY 'RE EASY ; YES , YOU CAN FIND THEM EASILY ENOUGH , WHO WANTS POVERTY ? $ BUT I DON'T KNOW WHAT LOVE IS . $ 01 YOU WOULDN'T RECOGNISE IT IF YOU FOUND IT . $ LOVE IS A COMBINATION OF LOTS OF THINGS . $ 02 IT 'S ALSO A SUBSTITUTE FOR A LOT OF THINGS . $ AND YOU 'RE WRONG , I WOULD RECOGNISE IT IF I FOUND IT . $ I THOUGHT ONCE THAT I HAD FOUND IT . $ OH , I WAS OVERJOYED . $ I DID SILLY THINGS , TOLD PEOPLE TASTY TIT-BITS ABOUT IT . $ LOOKING BACK NOW , IT WAS PROBABLY THE KIND OF LOVE YOU 'D M ARRY FOR . $ I PROTECTED IT , LAUGHED AT IT . $ IT WAS SO DELICATE , YOU HAD TO BE ON YOUR GUARD THE WHOLE T IME . $ IT WASN'T THE BEST FOUNDATION TO BUILD ON , AND ANYWAY , I W ILTED UNDER THE STRAIN . $ 01 SO YOU GAVE UP ? $ #34 $ 02 ON THE CONTRARY . $ I LOOKED HARDER , TRIED TO PICK UP ANY LITTLE LEAD THAT WOUL D PUT ME ON THE PATH . $ A KIND WORD , A NICE CONVERSATION , A GOOD DEED , LOTS OF TH INGS . $ I THOUGHT THAT PERHAPS MEN WERE THE ANSWER FOR ME , BUT THAT DIDN'T WORK , SO THEN I SANK MYSELF DOWN TO THE MUD BOTTOM OF THE HOLE , THINKING ONCE THERE I COULD ONLY WORK MY WAY U P . $ 01 IT WAS NO USE ? $ 02 IT 'S ALL A GAME REALLY . $ 01 ONLY SOMETIMES IT GETS SERIOUS . $ 02 YOU 'RE RIGHT THERE . $ 01 HOW MUCH CAN YOU EXPECT ? $ YOU READ ALL THE GOOD BOOKS , YOU KNOW WHAT 'S GOING ON , BU T YOUR NAME , NUMBER , DATE OF BIRTH , WHERE YOU LIVE , HOW YOU LIVE , WHAT YOU 'RE UP TO , IT 'S ALL DOWN ON A CARD SOM EWHERE . $ YOU YOURSELF , ARE THERE WITH GAS , ELECTRICITY , RENT , 'PH ONE , ALL YOUR DUES . $ IF THIS IS A GAME , WHY CAN'T YOU SAY " I DON'T WANT TO PLAY ANY MORE " . $ BUT TO GET OUT IS AS MUCH TROUBLE AS PLAYING ON AND IF IT 'S A GAME , WHY AREN'T WE ALL ENJOYING OURSELVES ? $ I DON'T THINK IT 'S A GAME I 'D WANT MY CHILDREN TO PLAY . $ AND WHAT SORT OF A GAME IS IT ANYWAY WHERE THERE 'S NO SATIS FACTION IN WINNING ? $ 02 IT 'S THE ONLY GAME THERE IS . $ 01 EXACTLY ! $ AND EVERYONE IS PLAYING IT , SO UNTIL A BETTER ONE COMES ALO NG , YOU MUST PLAY IT . $ < ( WEBSTER STARTS THE THREE SKETCHES AS THE MALE AND ENDS A S THE FEMALE , AND VICE VERSA . ) > $ 02 THAT 'S A LOVELY HAT YOU 'RE WEARING . $ 01 THANK YOU . $ YOURS IS LOVELY TOO . $ 02 THANK YOU . $ WHAT A LOVELY COAT . $ DO YOU LIKE MINE ? $ 01 MARVELLOUS ! $ OH ! $ MATCHING TROUSERS AND BOOTS . $ 02 SO HAVE YOU ! $ SNAP ! $ 01 YES . $ SNAP ! $ 02 WHAT DO WE DO ? $ 01 DANCE ? $ 02 DRINK ? $ 01 DRIVE ? $ 02 FILM ? $ 01 POT . $ 02 PILLS . $ 01 HASH . $ 02 LSD . $ 01 SCOTCH AND OYSTERS . $ < ( BOTH GIGGLE . ) > $ 02 SYRUP TINS AND JAM JARS . $ 01 HOW DOES THAT GO ? $ 02 YOU STICK YOUR HANDS IN SYRUP AND I STICK MY HANDS IN JAM AND THEN MAKE LOVE . $ < ( BOTH FALL ABOUT LAUGHING . ) > $ 01 RED ELASTOPLAST . $ 02 WHAT 'S THAT ? $ 01 STICK STRIPS OF ELASTOPLAST ALL OVER OUR BODIES , PAINT T HEM RED AND THEN RIP THEM OFF EACH OTHER WHILE MAKING LOVE . $ < ( BOTH LAUGH . ) > $ 01 I KNOW WHAT WE 'LL DO ? $ 02 WHAT ? $ 01 GET MARRIED ! $ 02 GREAT ! $ 01 GREAT ! $ I 'M GOING TO HAVE A BABY ! $ 02 OH ! $ < ( LOOKS SLIGHTLY ANNOYED . ) > $ 01 WELL , I 'M NOT GETTING ANY LOVE FROM YOU , AM I ? $ I NEED SOMETHING TO LOVE , AND I NEED SOMEONE WHO DEPENDS ON ME FOR LOVE AND AFFECTION . $ I NEED TO BE A WOMAN . $ I DIDN'T BUY THIS HOUSE FOR YOU , YOU KNOW . $ YOU NEVER TAKE ME OUT . $ I 'M LEFT HERE NIGHT AFTER NIGHT , DRINKING BY MYSELF , CRYI NG BY MYSELF , MAKING LOVE BY MYSELF . $ I 'M NOT MADE OF MONEY , YOU KNOW . $ 02 I HELPED YOU PAY FOR THE CAR . $ 01 THEN WE 'LL CHOP THE BUGGER IN HALF ! $ A MAN ! $ YOU CAN'T EVEN REPRODUCE . $ 02 I FEEL SICK . $ 01 SO DO I . $ WELL , I THOUGHT IT MIGHT BE A LAUGH . $ WE HAVEN'T HAD ONE YET . $ 02 WELL , AS LONG AS IT 'S NOT MINE . $ 01 DON'T BE SILLY . $ 02 WELL I COULD . $ I 'M SURE I COULD . $ 01 YES , OF COURSE YOU COULD . $ 02 CAN I BE THERE WHEN IT 'S BORN ? $ I COULD HOLD YOUR HAND AND WATCH IT ALL . $ IT WOULD BE AS THOUGH WE WERE BOTH HAVING IT . $$ 02 I WONDER WHAT OUR SON 'S UP TO ? $ 01 ENJOYING HIMSELF ! $ WELL - WE DID OUR BEST . $ LOVE , IT 'S A WORD THE YOUNG WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND . $ HE WAS A FINE BABY THOUGH . $ 02 HE WAS A CLASSIC BABY . $ EVERYBODY SAID SO . $ BEAUTY , SUCH A LOVELY NAME FOR A BOY . $ ' HERE BEAUTY ' , I USED TO SAY . $ ' DRINK IT ALL UP BEAUTY ' - ' WHOSE GOING TO HAVE THEIR BEA UTY SLEEP , BEAUTY ? ' $ IT 'S A PITY HE TURNED UGLY . $ YOU SEE HE WAS FINE UP TILL HE WAS FIVE , AND HIS FEATURES S TARTED TO CHANGE . $ I SUPPOSE IT 'S ALL PART OF GROWING OLD . $ BUT HOW TIRESOME ! $ DO YOU THINK IT WAS RIGHT HAVING THAT MAN TO MAN TALK WITH H IM ? $ YOU KNOW BEST , OF COURSE , BUT YOU DON'T THINK THAT SEVEN W AS A BIT YOUNG FOR ALL THAT ? $ 01 I THINK HE 'D ALREADY MADE UP HIS MIND TO LEAVE . $ ANYWAY , NOTHING IS MADE TO LAST THESE DAYS . $ WELL , WHAT 'S IT GOING TO BE TONIGHT ? $ 02 I KNOW WHAT WE HAVEN'T DONE FOR A LONG TIME . $ ME IN MY TIGHTS CHAINED IN THE CHAIR , AND YOU IN BOOTS AND DARK GLASSES . $ 01 ALRIGHT . $ 02 YOU KNOW , I THINK I 'LL HAVE A BABY . $ 01 BUT YOU , BUT YOU CAN'T ! $ 02 WHY NOT ? $ 01 YOU 'RE A MAN . $ < ( WEBSTER SCREAMS . ) > $ < ( AFTER SKETCHES , PAUSE . $ WEBSTER SITS STILL , OBVIOUSLY LOST IN HIS OWN THOUGHTS . $ TREBOR WALKS ROUND IN A VOID . ) > $ 02 WHAT A FOOL - LOOKING , LOOKING , LOOKING . $ IF ANYONE ASKS YOU IN A VOICE OF THUNDER , JUST SAY ' SHOG O FF ! ' $ THERE IS NO TIME AFTER DEATH . $ THIS IS DEATH . $ NO - NOT QUITE . $ WHY WON'T THEY LET ME GO ? $ THREE TIMES I 'VE KNOCKED , THREE TIMES NO ANSWER . $ IT 'S NOT EASY TO CHEAT IN THIS GAME OF LIFE . $ COULD HE BE THE REASON ? $ OBVIOUSLY HE COULD GO AT ANY GIVEN MOMENT , BUT THAT 'S NO G OOD TO ME . $ OR IS IT ? $ TOGETHER . $ < ( DON'T SHOUT ) > $ OF COURSE . $ TOGETHER A-DYING WE 'LL GO . $ DOWN THE WELL-TRODDEN PATH WE 'LL TRAMP , HOLDING HANDS FOR FEAR ONE OF US MIGHT GET LOST . $ YES , TOGETHER . $ THEY 'LL OPEN THE DOOR FOR HIM , AND THERE WILL BE ME GRINNI NG OVER HIS SHOULDER . $ #35 $ THEY WON'T HAVE TIME TO CLOSE THE DOOR . $ TOGETHER WE 'LL GO . $ BUT IT MUST BE EXACTLY TOGETHER . $ YES ! $ GIVE ME A SIGN . $ < ( PAUSE ) > $ YOU SEE , NOTHING . $ I MUST BE RIGHT . $ < ( LAUGHS ) > $ TOGETHER WE WILL GO ! $ 01 WHAT WAS HE LAUGHING AT ? $ TAKING THE EASY WAY OUT AGAIN . $ THEY MAKE THINGS DIFFICULT . $ I STARTED MANY RACES , BUT THEY ALL SHOWED ME THEIR BACKS , AS THEY FORGED OFF INTO THE EXTREME CENTRE OF LIFE AND HIS C OMPLEXITIES . $ I 'D LIKE TO SHOW SOMEONE MY BACK , NOT ALL OF THEM , JUST O NE OR TWO . $ I WON'T KNOCK ON ANY DOOR EMPTY-HANDED . $ I MUST HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY . $ SOMETHING WORTHWHILE . $ SOMETHING TO ... $ 02 WELL ? $ DO I TAKE IT THE INTERVIEW IS OVER ? $ 01 I WILL HAVE THE LAST WORD , IF YOU DON'T MIND . $ 02 BY ALL MEANS . $ WHAT IS IT ? $ 01 WHAT 'S WHAT ? $ 02 THE LAST WORD . $ 01 YES ? $ 02 WELL SOME WORK HAS TO BE DONE , PLANS LAID , IDEAS SPREAD . $ 01 STOP . $ 02 AS YOU WERE SAYING , AND RIGHTLY SO - WORK HAS TO BE DONE , PLANS LAID , IDEAS SPREAD . $ 01 ONE MORE QUESTION . $ 02 GO ON . $ 01 WHAT WOULD MAKE AN IDEAL LIFE FOR YOU ? $ 02 OH , OH , THAT LINE SHOULD END THE FILM , CURTAIN DOWN , LAST CHAPTER IN THE BOOK . $ YOU SAID THE INTERVIEW WAS OVER ? $ I COULD REFUSE TO ANSWER . $ WHEN YOU 'RE WALKING ALONG A DESERTED COUNTRY LANE , LATE AT NIGHT , AND YOU HEAR FOOTSTEPS COMING IN THE OPPOSITE DIREC TION , YOUR BODY FREEZES , YOUR MIND RACES , YOUR HEART THUM PS . $ IT TAKES YEARS - THEN YOU SEE HIM - CLOSER - CLOSER - THE CR ESCENDO EXPLODES - HE HAS PASSED YOU . $ WHY IS IT ALWAYS FEAR THAT OVERTAKES YOU ? $ 01 YOU HAVEN'T ANSWERED MY QUESTION . $ 02 I WOULD LIKE TO PASS THE TIME OF DAY WITH THAT MAN ... $ PLANS TO BE MADE , IDEAS SPREAD , WHERE 'S YOUR FLAG ? $ 01 TAKE YOUR POSITION . $ YOU WILL BE SECOND ONLY TO ME . $ 02 YOU MEAN LAST ! $ < ( TREBOR IS BUSY PREPARING TO GO TO THE GIRL . ) > $ 02 I WISH YOU COULD SEE THE STUPIDITY OF THIS PLAN . $ THE GIRL HAS EVERYTHING . $ WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU 'RE SAVING HER FROM ? $ WHAT ON EARTH CAN YOU GIVE HER THAT SHE HASN'T ALREADY GOT ? $ A CAUSE ? $ A DEPTH TO HER LIFE ? $ - HELP THOSE WHO ARE WORSE OFF THAN YOURSELF . $ WHY ? $ THEY WON'T HELP THEMSELVES . $ A RELIGION ? $ RELIGION IS ONLY FOR THE POOR . $ WHY BOTHER ? $ WHY DON'T WE JUST GO ? $ IT 'S NO USE . $ I 'VE TRIED EVERYTHING . $ SO HAVE YOU , IN YOUR FASHION . $ IF THEY WERE A RAY , I 'D BE THERE TOO , WAITING , WAITING , WAITING . $ I 'M TIRED OF WAITING , OF PLAYING THE GAME . $ ONE MORE RING ON THE 'PHONE . $ TOMORROW IS ANOTHER DAY . $ IT 'S NOT - THEY 'RE ALL THE SAME . $ IT 'S ALL THE SAME . $ YOU JUST GET SLOWER AND SLOWER , MINDLESS AND TOOTHLESS , RO TTEN AND MORE ROTTEN , THEN YOU FALL IN . $ IT 'S AS SIMPLE AS THAT , YOU JUST FALL OVER , AND NOBODY CA RES . $ WHO CARES ? $ THAT 'S THE WORST PART . $ WHO CARES ? $ SO ONE FUNERAL IS BIGGER THAN ANOTHER . $ YOU DO SOMETHING FOR FOOLS YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT ANYWAY , AND THEY DON'T CARE ABOUT YOU . $ A GRAIN ON THE BEACH . $ OH , GOD . $ WHO CARES ? $ GOD . $ SOMEWHERE , SOMEONE . $ IT 'S ALL TOO BIG AND WE 'RE TOO LITTLE . $ LITTLE OLD US AND GREAT BIG EVERYTHING . $ IF WE GO NOW , THEY CAN'T LAUGH AT US , NO MORE ANYTHING . $ WE CAN RIDE ON OBLIVION , SING IN THE VOID , PLAY WITH NOTHI NG . $ DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND ? $ NOBODY , NOWHERE . IS LOOKING AT YOU . $ COME ON , I 'LL HOLD YOUR HAND . $ I 'LL TAKE CARE OF YOU , AND YOU 'LL TAKE CARE OF ME . $ DON'T LEAVE ME ALONE ... $ ON ... ON ... ON ... ON ... ON . $ WHY ? $ ... WHY ? $ ... $ 01 DON'T SPEAK LIKE THAT . $ DON'T YOU SEE YOU CAN'T GO WITH NOTHING IN YOUR HAND , OTHER WISE WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN ? $ NOTHING . $ WHAT 'S THE POINT OF STARTING IF YOU 'VE GOT NOTHING AT THE FINISH ? $ I CAN'T GO EMPTY HANDED . $ YOU 'VE GOT TO BE , JUST BE . $ BE ANYWHERE , BUT BE . $ BE HERE . $ BE THERE . $ BE . $ BE . $ BE . $ BE . $ < ( PAUSE . ) > $ 02 IF I LOOKED LIKE THAT , I 'D BE A MOVIE STAR . $ I CAN'T TELL YOU , YOU LOOK - HOW SHALL I PUT IT - REGAL . $ IF THERE WAS A MIRROR ON THE WALL , IT WOULD HAVE NO DOUBT I N ITS MIND AS TO WHO IS THE FAIREST . $ 01 DON'T BE FLIPPANT . $ 02 I WAS ONLY SAYING , IN MY OWN MEAGRE WAY , HOW WELL EQUIP PED YOU ARE . $ YOU REMEMBER EVERYTHING YOU 'RE TO SAY ? $ DO YOU WANT TO GO THROUGH IT ONCE MORE ? $ I REALIZE HOW IMPORTANT THIS IS TO YOU . $ DON'T LOOK LIKE THAT . $ THIS MATTER IS NOT OF COMPLETE INDIFFERENCE TO ME , YOU KNOW . $ ... DON'T MOVE . $ JUST STAY THERE , IN THAT LIGHT . $ YOU KNOW , THERE 'S SOMETHING OF THE MYSTIQUE ABOUT YOU NOW . $ MAKES ONE SUDDENLY REALIZE INHERITANCE ISN'T AUTOMATICALLY B ESTOWED UPON YOU . $ YOU 'VE GOT TO PROVE YOUR WORTH . $ THANK YOU FOR THAT MOMENT . $ DO YOU WANT TO SAY ANYTHING ? $ GO OVER THE WELL-THOUGHT-OUT PLANS ? $ 01 NO . $ IT 'S ALL RIGHT . $ AS YOU SAY , AESTHETICALLY , I LOOK BEAUTIFUL . $ IT 'S MY MIND I HAVE TO ATUNE . $ < ( HE TAKES A DEEP BREATH ) > $ YOU 'RE LAUGHING AT ME , AREN'T YOU ? $ ... DON'T DENY IT . $ YOU THINK ALL THIS IS A GAME . $ 02 IT ISN'T A GAME . $ 01 SOME SILLY POINT I HAVE TO PROVE , IT 'S MUCH MORE THAN T HAT . $ I DON'T EXPECT YOU TO UNDERSTAND , BUT I WANTED YOU TO KNOW . $ I KNOW YOU 'RE LAUGHING AT ME , BUT , MORE IMPORTANT , I DON 'T CARE . $ 02 I 'M NOT LAUGHING AT YOU . $ IN FACT , ONE MIGHT SAY , THIS IS WHERE THE LAUGHING STOPS . $ COME ON , YOU CAN'T GO INTO BATTLE LIKE THAT . $ WHERE 'S THE OLD NEVER-SAY-DIE , GET UP AND GO , WHITE OF TH EIR EYES , POWDER DRY , ALL THAT ? $ 01 I SUPPOSE I 'M AS READY AS I 'LL EVER BE . $ < ( HE WALKS SLOWLY TO THE GIRL . $ HALF WAY THERE , HE FALTERS A BIT , TRIES TO PULL HIMSELF TO GETHER A BIT , WITH SOME DIFFICULTY . ) > $ 02 I KNEW A GIRL ONCE . $ SHE HAD THIS FUNNY KNEE , IT USED TO CLICK ALL THE TIME . $ ANYWAY , ONE DAY , WHEN IT WAS RAINING ... $ 01 CAN'T WE LEAVE YOUR STORY TILL LATER ? $ I 'M SURE IT 'S OF UNBELIEVABLE INTEREST TO US ALL , ONLY .. . $ < ( HE FINDS HIMSELF IN THE GIRL'S AREA ) > $ OH . $ WOULD YOU LIKE TO PLAY A GAME ? $ 03 I HARDLY KNOW YOU , BUT GOD , YOU 'VE GOT STYLE , AND I ' M BORED . $ WHAT GAME DID YOU HAVE IN MIND ? $ 01 WELL , ANY GAME YOU CAN PLAY . $ 03 THAT 'S NEW . $ I 'M NOT SURE I UNDERSTAND ALL THIS ; COULD YOU PUT YOUR CAR DS ON THE TABLE ? $ 01 I DIDN'T BRING ANY CARDS WITH ME ... $ OH , I SEE . $ #36 $ YES ... SORT OF PLAYING IT BY EAR ? $ 03 PLAYING WHAT BY EAR ? $ 01 WELL , PUTTING YOUR CARDS ON THE TABLE THEN . $ 03 WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT ? $ 01 PUTTING MY CARDS ON THE TABLE . $ 03 WELL , PUT THEM THERE . $ 01 I 'D LIKE TO ASK YOU A FEW QUESTIONS . $ 03 ARE YOU FROM THE PRESS ? $ 01 NO , I 'M AFRAID NOT . $ 03 OH , WELL , THAT 'S ALL RIGHT . $ I 'M NOT SAYING ANY MORE TO THE PAPERS , ANYWAY . $ WELL ? $ 01 WHAT ? $ 03 THE QUESTIONS ? $ 01 YES . $ THE FIRST ONE IS : WHAT DO YOU DO ? $ 03 THAT 'S THE FIRST ONE ? $ WHAT CAN I DO ? $ CAN'T REALLY SAY I UNDERSTAND IT . $ 01 IT 'S JUST - $ WHAT DO YOU DO ? $ 03 AH , THERE 'S A HIDDEN MEANING . $ COME ON , IT 'S A QUIZ GAME , GOT YOU THERE . $ AH . $ AH . $ GREAT . $ WHAT 'S THE NEXT ONE ? $ 01 BUT WE HAVEN'T GOT THE FIRST ONE YET . $ I CAN'T MARK YOU IF YOU DON'T ANSWER . $ 03 MARKS . $ OH , GREAT . $ MARKS OUT OF TEN . $ OH , I HAVE TO BE CAREFUL , EH . $ WATCH YOUR STEP , GIRL . $ O.K. $ SHOOT . $ BUT TAKE IT SLOW . $ READY ? $ GO . $ WHAT 'S THE NEXT QUESTION ? $ 01 WELL ... I ... ER ... $ LET ME SEE NOW . $ I 'LL HAVE TO THINK ABOUT THIS . $ 03 COME ON . $ I 'LL BE PAST IT BY THE TIME YOU GET THERE . $ THIS IS A MENTAL STRAIN FOR ME , YOU KNOW . $ 01 YES . $ I 'M SORRY . $ READY ? $ 03 SHOOT . $ 01 WHAT DO YOU DO BEST ? $ < ( PAUSE . ) > $ 03 THAT 'S LIKE THE OTHER ONE . $ 01 NO . $ LISTEN CAREFULLY . $ WHAT DO YOU DO BEST ? $ 03 THAT 'S EASY . $ I LOOK BEAUTIFUL . $ 01 YES . $ TEN OUT OF TEN FOR LOOKING BEAUTIFUL . $ 03 THANK YOU . $ I MUST TAKE A REST NOW . $ YOU 'VE GIVEN ME A HEADACHE . $ YOU REALLY DRIVE A GIRL TO THE LIMIT , BUT I MUST SAY IT WAS WORTH IT . $ TEN OUT OF TEN . $ IT 'S NICE TO KNOW YOU 'RE THE BEST . $ IF YOU DON'T MIND , I MUST REST NOW . $ I FEEL DRAINED . $ OH , DO I GET A CERTIFICATE OR SOMETHING ? $ 01 WHAT FOR ? $ 03 FOR GETTING TEN OUT OF TEN . $ YOU KNOW , SOMETHING SIGNED , TO HANG ON THE WALL ? $ 01 I SUPPOSE I COULD SIGN A PIECE OF PAPER FOR YOU TO HANG U P . $ < ( SHE GIVES HIM PAPER AND PENCIL . ) > $ THERE YOU ARE . $ 03 THANK YOU . $ 01 CAN I CALL AGAIN ? $ 03 PLEASE DO . $ 01 THANK YOU . $ < ( HE IS LEAVING . ) > $ 03 EH . $ HOW ABOUT TEN OUT OF TEN ? $ 01 YES . $ YOU REALLY ARE THE MOST BEAUTIFUL GIRL I 'VE EVER MET . $ < ( DING . $ CUE FOR SONG - SINGS . ) > $ I 'M IN LOVE $ I 'M IN LOVE AND I 'VE GOT TO KNOW IT , I 'M IN LOVE AND I ' VE GOT TO SHOW IT , WHAT A STRANGE POSITION TO FIND YOURSELF IN , AND HOW INCONGRUOUS A THING , WHEN I REALLY THINK I AM IN LOVE . $ I 'M IN LOVE AND I 'VE GOTTA KNOW IT , I 'M IN LOVE AND I 'V E GOTTA SHOW IT , THIS IS LOVE AND IT HAS TO BE FOR MY SAKE , LOVE IS SOMETHING THAT IS PROUD AND SECRET THIS IS NOW HOW I 'VE GOTTA KEEP IT , BUILD A WALL TO KEEP THE SIEGE OF PRO BLEMS MILES AWAY . $ I 'M IN LOVE WITH A NEW-BORN SUMMER . $ THROW THE SHELL , COME ON AND SMASH THE COVER , LIGHT THE LI GHT FOR THE BEGINNING OF A NEW DAY , KNOTTED BROWS GET OUT A ND RACE AWAY , FIND ANOTHER DOPE WHO WANTS TO PLAY , ALL THO SE CARES AND PROBLEMS GO BEHIND ME NOW . $ FOR THERE 'S SOMEBODY WAITING FOR ME , COOL , SWEET , COY , SOPHISTICATED , WITH A SHAPE AND FACE THAT IS ABSOLUTELY NOV A , EXCITING , FANTASTIC AND REAL . $ SHE 'S THE ONE WHO 'S WAITING FOR ME I MOVED IN AND STOOD TH ERE , AND THIS POOR LITTLE GIRL WAS TRAPPED BY MY CHARMS . $ < ( AFTER 16-BAR BREAK - REPEAT 4 , THEN 3 . ) > $ I SPOKE , SHE SPOKE , IN WORDS WE UNDERSTAND , ETC . $ < ( HE GETS CARRIED AWAY . $ WEBSTER JOINS HIM FOR WANT OF SOMETHING BETTER TO DO . $ END OF SONG . ) > $ < ( ACT TWO ) > $ 02 I TAKE IT ALL WENT WELL ? $ 01 THE WORLD IS A BETTER PLACE AT THIS MOMENT . $ 02 AND I TAKE IT YOU 'LL SEE HER AGAIN ? $ 01 I WILL . $ 02 DOES SHE FEEL THIS WAY ABOUT YOU ? $ 01 DO YOU MIND IF WE DON'T SPEAK ABOUT IT ? $ 02 NO . $ I CAN TAKE LITTLE OR NO MORE OF THIS . $ I ONCE SAID TO HIM , ' IT 'S ALL A GAME , ' AND HIS REPLY WA S , ' BUT SOMETIMES IT GETS SERIOUS . ' $ < ( LAUGHS ) > $ YES , I THINK A LAUGH ON MY PART IS ENOUGH . $ THERE WILL BE GAMES ALL RIGHT , BUT I WILL CRACK THE WHIP . $ OH , THINK , YOU FOOL . $ NOW I DON'T HAVE THE ADDED BURDEN OF THE ETERNAL TRIANGLE AN D HIS MIND AT THE MOMENT HAS MORE CLOUD IN IT THAN USUAL . $ WHAT WE 'LL CALL ' REASON DEPARTED ' . $ YES , ITS COMING NOW , A WRESTLING MATCH , AND ME COVERED IN GREASE - A JIGSAW PUZZLE AND ME WITH SOME OF THE PIECES UP MY SLEEVE - THE IMAGES THAT CREEP TO MIND , MIND , MIND ? $ GAMES ON MIND . $ I SHOULD BE WEARING SOMETHING BLACK - AT LEAST A MOUSTACHE , ONE WOULD THINK . $ SO HE DOESN'T WANT TO GO EMPTY HANDED . $ WELL THEN , HOW ABOUT EMPTY MINDED ? $ SO HELP ME , I CAN ONLY PLAY THIS GAME TO THE END . $ IF ONLY I DIDN'T NEED HIM . $ OF COURSE I COULD TRY ONCE MORE ? $ NO , IT MIGHT NOT BE WISE AT THIS POINT , WHEN YOU 'VE KNOCK ED THREE TIMES AND THERE 'S NO ANSWER . $ WELL , THEY EITHER DON'T WANT YOU IN THERE , OR THERE 'S NO ONE AT HOME . $ I TRIED . $ IF THERE IS SOMEONE WITH TABS ON US , THEN HE MUST KNOW I TR IED . $ WHAT ON EARTH DIFFERENCE CAN IT MAKE WHETHER YOU 'VE GOT SOM ETHING TO SAY OR NOT ? $ #37 $ I MEAN , 99 PER CENT OF THE PEOPLE HAVE NOTHING TO SAY . $ IF THEY ASK YOU , WHAT CAN YOU SAY ? $ ' SEVEN YEARS AGO I HELPED SOME OLD LADY ACCROSS THE STREET ' ? $ I CAN SEE HIS ARGUMENT , I SUPPOSE , BUT I CAN'T AGREE WITH IT . $ OPTIMISM IS A DIRTY WORD . $ I MUST MAKE HIM SEE . $ BUT I HOPE IT DOESN'T GET NASTY . $ 02 I HAVE TO SPEAK TO YOU . $ 01 CAN'T YOU LEAVE A MAN TO HIS THOUGHTS ? $ 02 LET ME FINISH , PLEASE . $ 01 PLEASE , HE SAYS . $ HOW DID YOU MANAGE YOUR TONGUE AROUND THAT WORD ? $ 02 WILL YOU LISTEN ? $ THIS IS IMPORTANT TO YOU IF YOU 'RE GOING TO SAVE THAT GIRL . $ 01 WHAT ? $ 02 I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE YOUR ADVISER . $ I STILL AM , WE ASSUME ? $ 01 WHAT DO YOU WANT TO SAY ? $ WHAT ARE YOU UP TO NOW ? $ 02 WELL , IF YOU LISTEN , YOU 'LL FIND OUT . $ NOW , THIS GIRL HAS EVERYTHING . $ WHAT CAN YOU OFFER HER THAT SHE HASN'T ALREADY GOT ? $ 01 I COULD GIVE HER ... $ 02 REMEMBER , SHE 'S GOT EVERYTHING . $ 01 I KNOW THAT . $ BUT I COULD ... ER ... $ WELL , THERE MUST ... $ WE MADE A VERY GOOD START . $ IT WILL DEVELOP INTO A RELATIONSHIP . $ IT WILL GROW INTO SOMETHING LOVELY , I KNOW . $ ONE MUST HAVE PATIENCE . $ 02 SHE 'LL BE FED UP WITH YOU IN A COUPLE OF DAYS . $ YOU WON'T HAVE TIME TO START A RELATIONSHIP . $ IT WILL ALL BE OVER BEFORE IT 'S EVEN STARTED AND YOU MOONIN G AROUND HER WITH OPEN MOUTH WON'T HELP MATTERS . $ ALL THE MEN SHE MEETS PROBABLY DO THAT . $ NOW , IF YOU 'LL LISTEN TO THIS PLAN OF MINE ... $ 01 WAIT A MINUTE , MATEY . $ WHAT 'S YOUR GAME ? $ YOU NEARLY HAD ME GOING THERE - YOU CAME TEARING IN LIKE A T WO-LEGGED LONG JOHN SILVER , EYES ALL OVER THE PLACE , ' NOW IF YOU 'LL JUST LISTEN TO THIS PLAN OF MINE , ' WELL , WE ' LL JUST FORGET ABOUT YOUR PLANS , SHALL WE ? $ I 'LL TELL YOU SOMETHING , MATEY . $ EVERY MAN HAS A CALLING , A CHOICE , HE MUST DECIDE ON SOMET HING AND FOLLOW IT THROUGH TO THE BITTER , THOUGH IT MAY BE , END . $ IF I HAVE PROBLEMS IN MY RELATIONSHIP WITH THIS GIRL , WE WI LL SOLVE THEM OURSELVES . $ 02 BUT YOU HAVEN'T GOT A RELATIONSHIP . $ 01 HOW DO YOU KNOW WHAT WE 'VE GOT ? $ 02 YOU WERE ONLY WITH HER FOR A SHORT WHILE , AND COMING OUT LOOKING THE WAY YOU DID , ONE CAN IMAGINE NOTHING OTHER THA N YOU STARING GORMLESSLY INTO HER EYES AND GOING FROM ONE FO OT TO THE OTHER . $ IF ANYTHING ELSE HAPPENED , PLEASE ENLIGHTEN ME . $ 01 WILL YOU KEEP YOUR NOSE OUT OF OUR AFFAIRS ? $ < ( PAUSE . ) > $ 02 LET 'S SAY NO MORE , SHALL WE ? $ YOU ARE RIGHT , OF COURSE . $ BUT THERE 'S ABSOLUTELY NO NEED TO SHOUT . $ LET 'S FORGET IT , SHALL WE ? $ YOU THINK YOU HAVE A FRIEND , AND YOU DISCOVER YOU HAVEN'T . $ IT 'S AS SIMPLE AS THAT . $ 01 DON'T MAKE ME LAUGH . $ WHAT 'S THIS FRIEND BUSINESS ? $ SINCE WHEN HAVE WE BEEN FRIENDS ? $ YOU CALL THIS A FRIENDSHIP ? $ 02 I 'M SORRY IT MEANT SO LITTLE TO YOU . $ I SEE IT WAS ALL ... $ 01 DON'T YOU DARE SAY THAT . $ NOBODY TRIED HARDER THAN ME TO KEEP WHAT LITTLE WE HAD TOGET HER . $ YOU CAN'T SPEAK TO ME LIKE THAT . $ HOW COULD YOU SAY SUCH A THING ? $ YOU HAVE NO SOUL WHATSOEVER , DO YOU KNOW THAT ? $ 02 YES , I DO , AND THAT MAY COME AS A SURPRISE . $ THAT 'S WHY I WANTED TO HELP YOU , IN MY OWN TIRED WAY . $ I THINK IT 'S WONDERFUL YOU 'VE FOUND SOMETHING . $ I JUST WANTED TO HELP YOU KEEP IT . $ OBVIOUSLY , YOU THINK THERE ARE ULTERIOR MOTIVES , SO LET 'S FORGET IT , SHALL WE ? $ 01 WAIT A MINUTE . $ I DIDN'T MEAN TO SAY THOSE THINGS . $ IT 'S , WELL ... I THOUGHT ... $ 02 I KNOW WHAT YOU THOUGHT , SO LET 'S FORGET IT . $ BUT YOU CAN'T CHANGE PEOPLE LIKE YOU CHANGE CLOTHES , YOU KN OW , BECAUSE YOU 'LL FIND SHE 'LL BE DOING THE VERY SAME THI NG TO YOU IF YOU 'RE NOT CAREFUL . $ IT 'S NOT ME I 'M WORRIED ABOUT . $ I DON'T EVEN CARE ABOUT MYSELF , SO I DON'T EXPECT ANYONE EL SE TO , AND THERE HAVE BEEN MANY TIMES I 'VE TRIED TO HELP Y OU DURING OUR FRIENDSHIP . $ OH , NO . $ FORGIVE ME , NOT A FRIENDSHIP . $ WHAT SHALL WE CALL IT THEN ? $ AN UNDERSTANDING ? $ AN AGREEMENT ? $ AN ARRANGEMENT ? $ TAKE YOUR PICK ! $ 01 DON'T GO ON ABOUT IT , PLEASE . $ 02 OH , SUDDENLY PLEASE . $ A WORD I AM FORBIDDEN TO USE . $ 01 DON'T KEEP ON , I 'M SORRY . $ 02 OH , SORRY NOW . $ THESE WORDS ARE ALIEN TO ME , GIVE MY POOR MIND TIME TO DIGE ST THEM . $ FIRST THERE WAS PLEASE , THEN THERE WAS SORRY . $ DO YOU THINK I SHOULD GET MY MIND PREPARED FOR , DARE I SAY IT , ' FRIENDSHIP ' . $ OR IS THAT GOING TOO FAR ? $ I THINK THAT MIGHT BE TREADING OVER THE WHITE LINE . $ BUT I DID TRY . $ < ( HE LOOKS OVER HIS SHOULDER AT TREBOR . $ PAUSE . ) > $ 01 I MUST HAVE LOOKED PRETTY SILLY SINGING THAT SONG , EH ? $ < ( NO ANSWER ) > $ BET YOU HAD A LAUGH TO YOURSELF ? $ < ( NO ANSWER ) > $ I MUST KEEP UP MY VOICE EXERCISES . $ < ( GOES THROUGH SOME EXERCISES ) > $ IT WAS REALLY GOOD AT ONE TIME ; DO YOU REMEMBER ? $ I WENT ON A BIT , DIDN'T I ? $ < ( LAUGHS ) > $ ' TEMPERATELY HOT AND MODERATELY COLD ' , THEN I WAS BOSWELL TO YOUR JOHNSON . $ YOU LIKED THAT . $ ALL RIGHT , ALL RIGHT , I 'LL BE THE CHORUS . $ 02 PLEASE BE QUIET . $ 01 DID IT REALLY MEAN THAT MUCH TO YOU ? $ THE FRIEND . $ SOUNDS NICE , DOESN'T IT ? $ < ( NO ANSWER ) > $ ' THE MAN WHO HAD EVERYTHING ' . $ I 'M IN LOVE WITH A BEAUTIFUL GIRL AND I HAVE A FRIEND . $ 02 WHY DO YOU SAY ' HAD ' ? $ ' THE MAN WHO HAD EVERYTHING ' ? $ 01 DID I ? $ I DON'T KNOW WHY . $ PERHAPS I KNOW IT WON'T LAST . $ I 'M SO BUSY TRYING TO FIND , LOOKING FOR , THAT IF I TRIPPE D OVER IT , I WOULDN'T RECOGNISE IT , BECAUSE I DON'T REALLY KNOW WHAT I 'M LOOKING FOR . $ 02 SAGE WORDS . $ 01 BUT I GO ON , AND I SAY : ' THE LOST ' . $ 02 AND I BUTT IN AND RE-TITLE IT : ' THE HARD TO FIND ' . $ 01 ' IMPOSSIBLE TO FIND ' . $ 02 ' MILLION TO ONE ' . $ 01 ' FOUND ' . $ 02 ' THE WINNER ' . $ 01 ' WORSHIPPED ' . $ #38 $ 02 ' ADORED ' . $ 01 ' WHAT DO I DO ? ' $ 02 ' WITH IT . ' $ 01 ' TOO OLD TO CARE . ' $ 02 ' LOST . ' $ 01 ' THAT 'S WHAT ' - I MEAN , THAT 'S WHAT I SAID . $ 02 A GREAT MAN MUST EXPECT TO BE QUOTED . $ 01 YES , I SUPPOSE SO . $ ' PACK UP YOUR TROUBLES IN YOUR OLD KIT BAG , AND SMILE ' - EH . $ GOT ANY STORIES ? $ 02 WHY DON'T YOU TELL ME A STORY FOR A CHANGE ? $ 01 BECAUSE I LIKE LISTENING TO YOURS . $ 02 THIS IS VERY SILLY - BUT YOU TELL ME A STORY FIRST , AND I 'LL TELL YOU ONE AFTER . $ ALL RIGHT ? $ WHAT CAN YOU LOSE ? $ 01 YOU WON'T LAUGH ? $ 02 I PROMISE NOT TO LAUGH . $ 01 SO HELP ME IF YOU DO LAUGH . $ 02 I WON'T . $ GO ON . $ 01 WELL NOW , LET ME THINK . $ 02 COME ON . $ IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE A STORY - JUST ANYTHING . $ LET IT COME ON OUT . $ DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT . $ 01 WELL - I USED TO BUY A TICKET AND GO ROUND ALL THE STATIO NS . $ 02 AND ? $ 01 I JUST USED TO GO ROUND THE STATIONS . $ UP AND DOWN THE ESCALATOR . $ I DID THAT FOR A LONG TIME , CAN'T QUITE THINK WHY I DID IT . $ ON AND ON I WENT . $ SEEING FACES , ALL KINDS OF FACES . $ THEY DIDN'T KNOW ME , NOR I THEM . $ IT WAS SO EXCITING . $ A HUB OF LIFE , I USED TO IMAGINE MYSELF - THOUSANDS OF LIVE S GOING ON ALL AROUND ME . $ I USED TO TOUCH IT , SMELL IT , BRUSH IT , AVOID IT , SNEER AT IT , LAUGH AT IT - ALL LIFE MILLING AROUND ME . $ THEN I TOOK TO SINGLING INDIVIDUAL ONES OUT , FOLLOWING IT T HROUGH MILES OF TUNNEL AND TRACK , TO FIND OUT AS MUCH AS PO SSIBLE BEFORE I LOST IT . $ YOU SEE , THEY WOULDN'T LET ME LEAVE MY DOMAIN . $ THAT WAS A HARD RULE TO ABIDE BY . $ YOU SEE , MY TICKET WAS ONLY A PLATFORM TICKET , AND SOMETIM ES MY INTEREST WAS AROUSED TO FEVER PITCH , ONLY TO SEE IT G O AT THE BARRIER . $ BUT WHAT A LIFE ! $ I HAD A CAST OF THOUSANDS FOR MY EVENING'S ENTERTAINMENT . $ AN INTELLECTUAL DISCUSSION - ' THAT ONE ' - AN AMUSING EVENI NG - ' THAT ONE ' . $ A LITERARY NOTE , A JOKE WITH SOME OF THE BOYS AT THE PUB , SOMETHING POLITICAL - YES . $ AND THE ONE I LIKE BEST - ' THE SEE THE SHOW AND LATE DINNER EVENING ' . $ SOMETIMES IT WOULD TAKE A WHILE TO FIND THE RIGHT GIRL . $ I 'D RUN DOWN STEPS , UP ESCALATORS , ROUND TUNNELS , IN LIF TS , LOOKING IN FACES - THE RIGHT FACE , THE RIGHT WALK , TH E TALK , THE DRESS , ANXIOUS MOMENTS - THEN SUDDENLY - A VIS ION - ALWAYS SMILING , SHE KNEW IT WAS HER NIGHT . $ THEY ALWAYS KNEW , OTHERWISE , WHY SMILING ? $ THEN OFF WE 'D GO . $ THE EVENING WAS OURS , BUT , ALAS , ALWAYS THIS BARRIER , AN D THE NAME ' PUTNEY EAST ' . $ EH , GUESS WHO 'S A BIG STORY TELLER THEN ? $ I 'LL BE THE CHORUS MATE , AND I 'LL GET OUT THERE FOR HOURS . $ YOU 'LL NEVER GET ME OFF . $ I WONDER IF I COULD THINK UP ANOTHER ONE ? $ LET ME SEE ... $ 02 I SHOULD QUIT WHILE YOU 'RE UP . $ 01 BUT I 'M THE ONE WHO GOES ON . $ WHAT A WONDERFUL DADDY I 'D MAKE - TELLING MY KIDS ALL THE L ITLLE STORIES BEFORE THEY GO TO BED . $ LITTLE BABIES , BEAUTIFUL LITTLE BABIES . $ < ( SINGS ) > $ ROCK-A-BYE BABY - COO-CHI-COO , ETC . $ NOTHING BETTER . $ TO LOVE A WOMAN AND CREATE A CHILD IN THE IMAGE OF YOURSELF . $ OUT OF LOVE , EH . $ DOES THIS BABY SMELL A BIT HIGH TO YOU ? $ 02 < ( SMELLS ) > $ PHEW . $ I SHOULD SEND IT BACK , MATE , AND GET A NEW ONE . $ 01 YOU 'RE RIGHT . $ EXCUSE ME , MISTER , CAN I HAVE ANOTHER BABY , THIS ONE IS S OILED ? $ NO . $ WHAT SORT OF A SHOP IS THIS ? $ NO EXCHANGES . $ WELL , THAT 'S THE LAST TIME I COME HERE FOR MY BABIES . $ GOT ANY BROKEN BISCUITS ? $ WELL MEND THEM . $ EH . $ GOT ANY CHIPS ? $ WELL THAT 'S YOUR FAULT FOR FRYING SO MANY . $ UP YOUR NOSE . $ YEH . $ AND THE SAME TO YOU WITH BOOTS . $ YEH . $ < ( MUMBLE , MUMBLE , MUMBLE ) > $ < ( TO BABY ) > $ WHAT SHALL I DO WITH YOU ? $ I KNOW . $ < ( THROWS BABY INTO THE AIR AND CLAPS HIS HANDS ) > $ NO MORE BABIES . $ 02 GOOD IDEA . $ 01 I WONDER WHAT SHE 'S LIKE IN THE KITCHEN ? $ 02 IF IT 'S A SMALL KITCHEN AND SHE 'S WEARING A TIGHT SKIRT , PROBABLY GREAT . $ < ( A LOOK FROM TREBOR . ) > $ I MEAN IT . $ A FEMALE BODY MOVING AROUND A COMPACT KITCHEN IS SOMETHING R ARE . $ I TELL YOU . $ STRETCHING , BENDING , CUTTING , CLEANING , WASHING , SINGIN G AWAY , AND STOOPING TO LOOK IN THE OVEN - THAT 'S THE BEST . $ WHEN SHE BENDS DOWN AND OPENS THE OVEN TO LOOK IN , ESPECIAL LY IF SHE 'S WEARING A TIGHT SKIRT , IN FACT SHE MUST BE WEA RING A TIGHT SKIRT . $ ALL THE OTHER MOVEMENTS JUST LEAD UP TO THIS HIGHLIGHT OF ' SEXY DOMESTICITY ' . $ 01 I CAN'T REALLY TELL THAT ONE TO MY KIDS BEFORE THEY GO TO BED , CAN I ? $ THAT WAS A GOOD STORY THOUGH . $ NINE OUT OF TEN FOR THAT ONE . $ I BET YOU COULD MAKE A LIVING AS A STORY-TELLER . $ PEOPLE WOULD COME FROM MILES AROUND AND SIT IN HUSHED SILENC E TO HEAR YOU TELL STORIES . $ I THINK YOU 'D GO DOWN VERY BIG IN PLACES LIKE ' WANSTEAD FL ATS ' . $ WHAT COULD WE CALL YOU ? $ I KNOW - SOMETHING FOR THE BILL BOARDS . $ ' RAYMOND AEROPLANE TELLS STORIES . ' $ HOW 'S THAT ? $ 02 AND WHAT ARE YOU UP TO WHILE I 'M TELLING STORIES ? $ 01 OH , CREEPING ABOUT COLLECTING MY 10 PER CENT . $ 02 SO HOW DOES IT FEEL TO BE AN AGENT ? $ 01 I 'VE BEEN DONE . $ 02 WHAT HAPPENED ? $ 01 I WENT TO SEE AN ACTOR PLAYING ' LONG JOHN SILVER ' . $ HE GAVE A MAGNIFICENT PERFORMANCE , SO I SIGNED HIM UP TO A TEN YEAR CONTRACT . $ 02 WHAT 'S SO BAD ABOUT THAT ? $ 01 BUT HE REALLY HAS GOT A WOODEN LEG . $ 02 TOO BAD ABOUT THE AGENCY . $ 01 YES . $ < ( STARTS TO CRY BUT STOPS HIMSELF ) > $ IT 'S COLD . $ < ( WEBSTER GIVES HIS JACKET AND PUTS IT ON TREBOR'S SHOULDE RS . ) > $ 02 IT 'S ALWAYS COLD . $ 01 YES . $ < ( PAUSE FOR QUITE A WHILE . ) > $ 02 FAVOURS . $ FAVOURS . $ I 'M GOING TO DO YOU A FAVOUR . $ 01 DON'T DO ME NO FAVOURS . $ I 'VE GOT PROBLEMS . $ 02 PROBLEMS . $ PROBLEMS . $ I 'LL TAKE YOUR PROBLEMS AND SELL THEM FOR A PROFIT . $ THERE MUST BE MILLIONS OF MILLIONAIRES WHO 'VE GOT NO PROBLE MS . $ WELL , I 'LL SELL THEM PROBLEMS . $ COME ON , GET ME WHILE I 'M HOT , BECAUSE I 'M IN THE PROBLE M BUSINESS . $ I 'LL BUILD AN EMPIRE ON PROBLEMS . $ COME ON , COME ON , PUT YOUR MONEY DOWN HERE AND TAKE YOUR P ICK OF THE PROBLEMS . $ PROBLEMS FROM ONE HUNDRED TO ONE MILLION POUNDS . $ #39 $ 01 SO NOW YOU 'RE A MILLIONAIRE ? $ 02 YES , SIR . $ BUT IT 'S TOUGH UP THERE . $ I GOT PROBLEMS . $ 01 I USED TO HAVE PROBLEMS . $ 02 LUCKY OLD YOU . $ 01 YES , SIR . $ IT MAY BE SHIT TO YOU , BUT TO A W.C. ATTENDANT IT 'S BREAD AND BUTTER . $ 02 BREAD AND BUTTER , THAT 'S THE SALT OF THE EARTH . $ 01 OH , WOW . $ GIVE ME MY BREAD AND BUTTER WOMAN . $ 02 OH , BREAD AND BUTTER WOMAN . $ THAT 'S BETTER THAN BREAD AND BUTTER SALT . $ I USED TO KNOW A WOMAN ONCE ... $ 01 WE 'VE HEARD ABOUT YOUR WOMEN , THANK YOU . $ 02 EVERYBODY 'S HEARD ABOUT MY WOMEN , BUT THAT 'S NO REASON FOR YOU TO WALK WITH A LIMP . $ STAND UP STRAIGHT , AND FACE THE WORLD . $ YOU 'LL BE AS GOOD AS ANY MAN WHEN I 'VE FINISHED WITH YOU . $ WALK , YOU FOOL , WALK . $ STRAIGHTEN YOUR BACK AND WALK . $ THAT 'S MY BOY . $ LOOK AT HIM GO . $ I PICKED HIM OUT OF THE GUTTER . $ I PUT HIM IN GOOD CLOTHES ; I GAVE HIM MONEY AND SELF-RESPEC T . $ HE 'S A BIG MAN SUDDENLY . $ PEOPLE CALL HIM MISTER . $ BIG MAN . $ I PICKED YOU OUT OF THE GUTTER AND I 'LL PUT YOU BACK . $ NOBODY CROSSES BIG GINO , DO YOU UNDERSTAND THAT ? $ 01 YES SIR . $ I 'M SORRY , BIG GINO . $ 02 O.K. $ WEE , STOP CRYING , AND LET 'S GET UP AND MOVE OUT , BECAUSE WE 'RE GOING ON A TRIP ROUND THE WORLD . $ 01 ROUND THE WORLD . $ WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT ? $ ROUND THE WORLD . $ WE COULDN'T EVEN FIND OUR WAY ROUND THE PARK . $ 02 LISTEN , LITTLE AL . $ 01 OH , SUDDENLY LITTLE AL . $ I GET A NAME , YET ONLY A LITTLE ONE , IT 'S TRUE , BUT ALL THE SAME , A NAME . $ O.K. BIG GINO , LITTLE AL IS ALL EARS . $ 02 CAN YOU HEAR ME , LITTLE AL ? $ 01 I CAN HEAR YOU , GINO . $ 02 BIG GINO . $ 01 SLIP OF THE TONGUE , BIG GINO . $ 02 O.K. $ NOW LISTEN , LISTEN AL , AND LISTEN BIG . $ I 'M GOING TO MAKE YOU INTO A BIG MAN . $ YOU 'LL HAVE EVERYTHING . $ IN THE EYES OF ALL WOMEN , YOU ARE GOING TO BE THE TOPS . $ ARE YOU RECEIVING THE PICTURE ? $ WOMEN WILL FALL AT YOUR FEET . $ THEY WILL FIGHT OVER YOU , SO WE 'LL TAKE YOU ROUND THE WORL D , AND MAKE YOU INTERNATIONAL . $ 01 LIKE PETER STUYVESANT . $ 02 YES . $ STYLE , POLISH , FINESSE . $ I 'LL TAKE YOU OUT OF THE BLACK HOLE YOU CAME FROM AND SHOW YOU THE GLITTERING WORLD OF THE MAN WHO 'S ON TOP . $ BUT I 'LL TAKE YOU BACK TO THE BLACK HOLE , JUST TO REMIND Y OU WHERE YOU CAME FROM , BECAUSE YOU 'VE GOT TO BE HUMBLE , REALLY HUMBLE . $ 01 NOBODY WILL BE HUMBLER THAN ME . $ 02 I 'LL BE HUMBLER THAN YOU . $ 01 NO , YOU WON'T BE HUMBLER THAN ME . $ I 'LL BE THE HUMBLEST OF THE HUMBLE . $ 02 NOBODY WILL OUT-HUMBLE ME . $ 01 MY HUMBLEST WILL BE HUMBLER THAN YOUR HUMBLEST . $ 02 YOUR HUMBLEST STINKS . $ MY HUMBLEST IS THE HUMBLEST OF THE HUMBLEST . $ 01 I 'LL OUT-HUMBLE ANYONE IN THE WORLD . $ 02 IF MY HUMBLEST ISN'T THE HUMBLEST OF THE VERY HUMBLEST , YOU 'RE NOT COMING . $ 01 ALL RIGHT . $ YOU 'RE THE HUMBLEST . $ 02 THERE 'S NO NEED FOR HYSTERICS . $ COOL MIND , PLANS TO BE LAID . $ DOCUMENTATION , DRAWERS FULL OF FILINGS , NAMES AND NUMBERS , TELEPHONES AND TYPEWRITERS , LIFTS AND INTERCOMS , PAPER A ND SLIDE-RULES , STRIPLIGHTING AND DRAUGHT-BOARDS . $ THAT 'S THE WAY TO PLAN . $ 01 WHAT ABOUT PEOPLE ? $ 02 YOU 'RE RIGHT . $ FORGET THE PLANS , GET THE GIRL . $ SHE MUST BE A PART . $ SHE MUST SEE YOU EVERY STAGE OF DEVELOPMENT . $ SHE MUST ADMIRE YOU , LOVE YOU , ADORE YOU . $ I SHALL BE THERE , PRODDING , NUDGING , A LAUGH HERE , A WOR D THERE , BUT ALWAYS MY FINGER ON THE HUB , DIRECTING THIS W HOLE OPERATION , SO THAT YOU CAN DISPLAY YOUR FEATHERS IN TH E BEST POSSIBLE LIGHT . $ FORGET THE WORLD , WE 'LL TAKE HER TO PLACES - WONDERFUL PLA CES , BUT SHE WON'T SEE THEM , BECAUSE HER EYES WILL BE ONL Y FOR YOU . $ AND IF YOU LISTEN TO ME , SHE 'LL BE YOURS FOR EVER . $ OH , PLACES . $ WE 'LL GO TO A KALEIDOSCOPE OF PLACES , EGGS AND PLACES , ME AT AND TWO PLACES , PLACES ON TOAST , PLACE OF THE DAY . $ BRING THE GIRL AND PLACE YOURSELF IN MY HANDS . $ WELL , DON'T JUST STAND THERE , GO AND GET THE GIRL . $ 01 SUPPOSE SHE DOESN'T WANT TO PLACE . $ I MEAN ... $ 02 PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER . $ WHAT ARE YOU ? $ A PLAICE OR A COD ? $ 01 I 'M A PLAICE . $ 02 WELL , ACT LIKE ONE . $ < ( TREBOR RUNS TO GET THE GIRL : THEY BOTH STAND THERE LOOK ING AT WEBSTER . ) > $ 02 WANT TO GO TO A PLACE ? $ 03 WHAT SORT OF A PLACE ? $ 02 ANY PLACE . $ 03 ONE PLACE IS THE SAME AS ANOTHER PLACE . $ 02 NOT THE PLACES WE GO . $ 03 WHAT 'S SO SPECIAL ABOUT YOUR PLACES ? $ 02 THAT 'S FOR YOU TO FIND OUT . $ 03 ALL RIGHT . $ I HAVEN'T ANY OTHER PLACE TO GO TO . $ 02 THEN LET 'S GO PLACES . $ < ( MIME SKETCHES . ) > $ < ( ALL THREE TAKE ON DIFFERENT CHARACTERS , BUT SOMETIMES R EVERT BACK TO THEIR OWN . ) > $ 02 TO THE CASINO . $ STAND BACK . $ MAKE WAY THERE . $ ETC ... $ 03 OH , I LIKE GAMBLING . $ THEY ALL LOOK AS THOUGH THEY KNOW HIM ? $ 02 EVERYBODY KNOWS HIM . $ 03 OH , REALLY ? $ < ( WEBSTER BECOMES OWNER OF THE CASINO . ) > $ 02 WOULD YOU TAKE YOUR SEAT HERE , SIR ; WE HAVE YOUR SPECIA L CHAIR - AND YOUR LOVELY LADY . $ A BOTTLE OF THE BEST CHAMPAGNE . $ THANK YOU SIR . $ < ( WEBSTER IS NOW THE CROUPIER . ) > $ 02 PLACE YOUR BETS PLEASE , LADIES AND GENTLEMEN . $ < ( TREBOR WALKS UP TO A MAN GAMBLING AT THE TABLE . $ WEBSTER - HE IS OBVIOUSLY LOSING . ) > $ 01 EXCUSE ME , SIR , THERE ARE THOUSANDS STARVING IN INDIA . $ 02 NAME FIFTEEN . $ AH . $ AH . $ 01 EXCUSE ME SIR , WHAT DO YOU DO FOR A LIVING ? $ 02 I WRITE PROTEST SONGS . $ AH . $ AH . $ 01 EVERYBODY GIVES ME A HARD TIME . $ FIVE THOUSAND ON RED SIX . $ #40 $ 03 BUT YOU ONLY HAVE FIVE THOUSAND . $ 01 C' EST LA GUERRE . $ 03 WHAT 'S THAT ? $ 01 WHAT 'S WHAT ? $ 03 WHAT YOU SAID . $ 02 RED SIX WINS . $ RED SIX WINS . $ 03 WE WIN . $ LET 'S MOVE OUT AND SPEND LIKE MAD . $ MORE CHAMPAGNE . $ CHAMPAGNE . $ EVERYBODY DRINK CHAMPAGNE . $ 02 PLACE YOUR BETS PLEASE , LADIES AND GENTLEMEN . $ 01 RED SIX . $ ALL OF IT . $ 03 YOU 'RE CRAZY . $ GET OUT WHILE YOU 'RE UP . $ WE COULD HAVE A GREAT TIME ON THAT MONEY . $ I NEED A NEW MINK COAT . $ WOULDN'T YOU JUST LOVE ME IN MINK ? $ I CAN BE VERY NICE IN MINK . $ LET ME FEEL THE MONEY . $ WE COULD BE GREAT . $ ME IN MINK . $ YOU IN MOHAIR . $ ALL RIGHT , CASHMERE . $ COME ON . $ DON'T LET HIM DO IT . $ HE DOESN'T MEAN THAT , HE WAS JUST JOKING . $ GIVE ME ENOUGH FOR TWO MINKS FIRST . $ I DID BRING YOU LUCK , DIDN'T I ? $ THAT 'S WHY YOU ALWAYS SEE GIRLS BEHIND MEN WHO ARE GAMBLING - TO BRING THEM LUCK . $ THAT 'S THE WAY IT GOES . $ 02 RED SIX WINS . $ RED SIX WINS . $ 03 YOU STINK . $ WHERE 'S MY MINK ? $ YOU 'RE CRAZY , WHY DIDN'T YOU ... $ RELAX . $ WE WIN AGAIN . $ RED SIX . $ TWO MINKS . $ 02 PLACE YOUR BETS PLEASE , LADIES AND GENTLEMEN . $ 01 RED SIX , ALL OF IT . $ 02 I DON'T KNOW IF WE CAN TAKE THAT BET , SIR . $ < ( WEBSTER BECOMES THE CASINO CROUPIER , OWNER , AND ANYBOD Y ELSE HE CAN MANAGE . ) > $ THE CASINO IS PROUD TO SAY WE WILL TAKE THE BET , BUT IF THE GENTLEMAN WINS , THERE WILL BE NO MORE GAMBLING TONIGHT . $ THE WHEEL IS SPINNING . $ SOMETIMES YOU WIN , AND SOMETIMES YOU LOSE , IT 'S ALL IN TH E WHEEL OF FORTUNE . $ RED SIX . $ RED SIX WINS . $ NO MORE GAMBLING TONIGHT . $ < ( GIRL GOES BERSERK . ) > $ 01 WOULD YOU SEND MY WINNINGS TO CHARITY ? $ THANK YOU . $ < ( TREBOR WALKS OUT IN SILENCE . $ WEBSTER AND GIRL LOOK AFTER HIM . ) > $ 02 THERE GOES A MAN . $ 03 WHAT ? $ 02 TO THE GRAND PRIX . $ IF HE CAN WIN THIS HE WILL BE WORLD CHAMPION . $ 03 HE CAN DO IT . $ HE CAN DO ANYTHING . $ 02 I 'D FEEL A LOT HAPPIER IF HE WERE FIT . $ 03 WHAT 'S WRONG WITH HIM ? $ 02 HE 'S GOT A BROKEN ARM . $ 03 WHAT . $ HE CAN'T DRIVE WITH A BROKEN ARM . $ TELL SOMEBODY . $ DO SOMETHING . $ 02 IF I PULLED HIM OUT OF THE RACE , HE 'D DIE . $ HE HATES MAKING EXCUSES . $ 03 BUT A BROKEN ARM . $ 02 THEY 'RE OFF . $ < ( TREBOR IS SITTING ON THE FLOOR , GOING THROUGH THE MOTIO NS OF BEING IN A CAR AND RACING . $ WEBSTER AND GIRL ARE IN THE STANDS . ) > $ GOOD . $ HE 'S LYING THIRD . $ IF HE CAN HANG ON TO THAT POSITION FOR A FEW LAPS , WE 'LL S TAND A CHANCE . $ OH , THAT WAS NASTY . $ 03 I CAN'T LOOK . $ WHERE IS HE NOW ? $ 02 STILL THIRD . $ BUT THERE 'S OIL ON THE TRACK . $ 03 WHO 'S OILED THE TRACK ? $ 02 TWO LAPS TO GO . $ OH , HIS BACK-END 'S GONE . $ < ( TREBOR IS GOING THROUGH AGONY IN THIS RACE . ) > $ 03 THERE 'S A WHEEL CHASING HIM ? $ GET THAT WHEEL OFF THE TRACK . $ EH , THE WHEEL 'S OVERTAKING HIM . $ < ( TREBOR LOOKS ROUND AT THE WHEEL . ) > $ 02 THAT 'S HIS OWN WHEEL ; HIS BACK WHEEL CAME OFF AND IT 'S CHASING HIM . $ CHASE IT , YOU FOOL . $ DON'T LET YOUR BACK WHEEL OVERTAKE YOU . $ 03 HE 'S ON FIRE . $ HE 'S SMOKING . $ 02 THAT 'S HIS EXHAUST . $ I CAN'T SEE HIM . $ ALL I CAN SEE IS A CLOUD OF SMOKE CHASING A WHEEL . $ I WONDER HOW HE 'S KEEPING HIS BACK AXLE UP ? $ < ( TREBOR HAS TAKEN A PIECE OF STRING AND LASSOOED THE BACK AXLE , AND IS HOLDING IT UP . ) > $ 03 THE WHEEL HAS OVERTAKEN THE SECOND MAN , SO HAS THE CLOUD OF SMOKE . $ THE SMOKE IS GAINING ON THE WHEEL . $ COME ON SMOKE . $ 02 HE 'S GAINING ON THE LEADER . $ LOOK AT THAT WHEEL GO - HERE COMES THE SMOKE . $ THE SMOKE 'S GAINING ON THE WHEEL , HE 'S CAUGHT HIM . $ THE WHEEL 'S IN THE SMOKE . $ THEY 'RE OVERTAKING THE LEADER . $ 03 HE 'S GOING TO WIN . $ 02 HE 'S WON . $ HE 'S WORLD CHAMPION . $ < ( GIRL KISSES AND HUGS WEBSTER IN EXCITEMENT ; IT GOES ON A LITTLE TOO LONG . $ THEY BREAK AWAY . $ WEBSTER MAKES A HOPELESS GESTURE . ) > $ WHAT CAN I GIVE YOU COMPARED TO HIM ? $ COME ON , LET 'S CONGRATULATE HIM . $ < ( THEY RUN DOWN TO TREBOR , WHO IS MIMING HAVING HIS PICTU RE TAKEN . ) > $ 02 TONIGHT WE CELEBRATE . $ NIGHT CLUBS , DANCING , LIGHTS , CHAMPAGNE . $ 01 FIRST WE MUST GO TO THE LOCAL , TO SEE THE SIMPLE FOLKS W HO MADE ALL THIS POSSIBLE . $ 02 WHAT A MAN . $ 03 YEH . $ 02 TO THE PUB . $ < ( LOT OF NOISE , IRISH ACCENT , SCOTTISH , AND ANY OTHER Y OU GET YOUR TONGUE ROUND . ) > $ 02 < ( IRISH ACCENT ) > $ IT 'S HIMSELF . $ MIND ME PINT OR I 'LL SMASH YOURS IN . $ IT 'S HIMSELF . $ 01 HELLO , PADDY . $ WHAT ARE YOU UP TO ? $ 02 DRINKING AND DIGGING TUNNELS . $ 01 NICE . $ 02 < ( SAME IRISH ACCENT ) > $ SHUT YOUR MOUTH YOU STUPID WOMAN . $ < ( HITS A WOMAN ACROSS THE FACE ) > $ NOW THAT WILL TEACH YOU TO SHUT YOUR MOUTH , AND TO GIVE THE KIDS SOME MORE LEMONADE . $ 01 OH , YOU HAVE KIDS THEN ? $ 02 TEN LITTLE BASTARDS . $ 01 OH , WHERE ARE THEY ? $ 02 OUTSIDE . $ ALWAYS SNIFFLING . $ 01 HAVE THEY BEEN THERE LONG ? $ IT 'S RAINING , YOU KNOW . $ 02 I KNOW . $ THEY 'VE ONLY BEEN THERE A COUPLE OF HOURS . $ 01 HOW MUCH DO YOU MAKE A WEEK ? $ 02 < ( SAME IRISH ACCENT ) > $ I DON'T KNOW . $ ABOUT A HUNDRED . $ COME ON , YOU BASTARD , LET 'S HAVE A FIGHT . $ < ( HITS THE WOMAN AGAIN ) > $ GET OUT OF THE WAY , WOMAN . $ THIS IS MEN'S WORK . $ #41 $ I 'M GOING TO PUSH YOUR ONION HEAD IN . $ 01 I MUST WARN YOU . $ I 'M TRAINED IN KARATE . $ 02 I DON'T CARE WHERE YOU 'VE BEEN TRAINED . $ TAKE THAT . $ < ( WEBSTER THROWS A PUNCH AT TREBOR , TREBOR GOES THROUGH A SERIES OF COMPLICATED MOVEMENTS , AND HITS WEBSTER , WHO FA LLS TO THE GROUND . ) > $ 01 DRINKS ON ME . $ < ( A LOT OF CHEERING . ) > $ 03 OH , THEY 'RE REAL PEOPLE , AND DON'T THEY SHOW IT . $ 02 QUIET EVERYBODY . $ THREE CHEERS FOR THE WORLD CHAMPION , AND HIS LOVELY LADY . $ HIP-HIP . $ HIP-HIP . $ HIP-HIP . $ NOW , I WONDER IF HIMSELF WOULD LEAD US INTO A SONG ? $ HOW ABOUT IT ? $ I THINK HE 'S GOING TO . $ MAVIS , GET TO YOUR PIANO , YOU DRUNKEN BITCH . $ WHAT 'S IT TO BE , SIR ? $ 03 SOMETHING SIMPLE . $ < ( NAMES SONG . ) > $ THE ONLY GOOD THING $ THE ONLY GOOD THING ABOUT BEING ME IS THAT I HAVE YOU , LOVE DIDN'T EXIST , AND NEITHER DID I , NOW I DO , YES I DO , DE ED I DO . $ BEFORE YOU CAME ALONG I 'D NEVER MOVED , I MERELY STOOD STIL L , TRUDGING ALONG , ALONG , ALONG , ALONG , ALONG , GOING N OWHERE IT SEEMED . $ YOU 'RE HERE , TOUCH MY HANDS AND I RUN UP TREES , TRY TO CA TCH ALL THOSE FALLING LEAVES , ALWAYS DO . $ TO HAVE , TO HOLD , TO GIVE , TO SHARE , TO LOVE , TO KNOW T HAT IT 'S THERE , THIS KIND OF LOVE IS FOR ME , IT 'S FOR ME , ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME . $ I WANT TO SAY THANK YOU BOY , YOU CAN TELL THE WORLD THAT YO U ARE MINE , WILL YOU TAKE THIS MAN TO BE THINE , YES I WILL , YES I WILL , YES I WILL . $ CUT YOUR CONNECTIONS , PACK YOUR BAGS , MOVE IN THERE 'S ROO M HERE FOR TWO , TURN OUT THE LIGHTS , LOCK THE DOOR , WE 'R E ENGAGED , I LOVE YOU , I LOVE YOU , I LOVE YOU . $ 02 EVERYBODY QUIET . $ < ( SINGS FOR A WHILE , THEN PUTS HIS HAND OUT TO THE GIRL . $ EVERYBODY CHEERS AND THEY FINISH SONG . ) > $ 01 THANK YOU . $ BEFORE WE LEAVE , BEFORE WE LEAVE , I WANT YOU ALL TO BE BET TER PEOPLE . $ THANK YOU . $ 02 THERE GOES A MAN . $ 03 YOU KEEP SAYING THAT . $ 02 LET 'S CELEBRATE . $ 01 COULDN'T WE GO ON AN AEROPLANE , SOMEWHERE ? $ 02 NO , WE COULDN'T GO ON AN AEROPLANE . $ 01 THANKS VERY MUCH . $ 02 LET 'S CELEBRATE . $ < ( TREBOR HAS A LONG FACE . ) > $ WHAT 'S THE MATTER WITH YOU ? $ 01 NOTHING . $ 02 DON'T YOU WANT TO CELEBRATE ? $ 01 NO . $ I DON'T SEE WHY WE CAN'T GO IN AN AEROPLANE . $ IT 'S NOT REALLY MUCH TO ASK . $ THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE TRAVEL ON AEROPLANES EVERY DAY . $ THERE 'S NOTHING UNUSUAL ABOUT THAT . $ IT SEEMS A SMALL REQUEST TO ME . $ 03 BUT WE WERE GOING TO CELEBRATE . $ IT WILL BE MUCH MORE FUN TO CELEBRATE . $ 02 < ( TO GIRL ) > $ PSSST . $ TELL HIM YOU LIKE HIM VERY MUCH , AND YOU WERE LOOKING FORWA RD TO DANCING WITH HIM AND ALL THAT , AND WOULDN'T HE DO IT JUST FOR YOU . $ 03 I WAS JUST GOING TO SAY THAT BEFORE YOU WENT ' PSSST ' . $ 02 SORRY I INTERRUPTED YOU . $ 03 THAT 'S ALL RIGHT . $ 02 WELL , YOU CAN TELL HIM NOW . $ 03 YES . $ < ( GIRL WALKS OVER TO TREBOR , STOPS HALFWAY AND COMES BACK . ) > $ WHAT WAS I GOING TO TELL HIM ? $ OH , I KNOW . $ YES , IT 'S ALL RIGHT . $ < ( GIRL WALKS OVER TO TREBOR AND SITS DOWN BESIDE HIM . ) > $ 03 WANT AN ASPRO ? $ 01 MMMM . $ OH , HELLO . $ WOULDN'T YOU LIKE TO GO IN AN AEROPLANE ? $ 03 I 'VE BEEN . $ 01 OH . $ 03 CHEER UP . $ IT MAY NEVER HAPPEN . $ 01 WHAT ? $ < ( GIRL HAS A BLANK FACE . $ PAUSE . ) > $ 03 < ( GET UP AND DANCE ) > $ IT WOULD BE FUN TO CELEBRATE . $ WE COULD DANCE , HAVE A LOVELY TIME . $ DON'T YOU WANT TO DANCE WITH ME ? $ I 'M VERY GOOD . $ < ( LOOK AT WEBSTER ) > $ I DON'T REALLY MIND ABOUT THE MINK COATS . $ I 'VE ALREADY GOT THREE . $ IN FACT , I WAS GOING TO GIVE ONE AWAY TO A FRIEND OF MINE W HO 'S GOT ONE . $ IT 'S JUST THAT I GET SO EXCITED WHEN THERE 'S A LOT OF MONE Y ABOUT . $ BUT I DON'T BLAME YOU ; I 'D PROBABLY DO THE SAME THING IN Y OUR SHOES - SO THERE . $ 01 DO YOU LIKE ME ? $ 03 WAIT A MINUTE . $ I LIKE YOU VERY MUCH , THAT 'S WHY I WANT TO CELEBRATE . $ 01 IT DOESN'T SEEM RIGHT TO CELEBRATE . $ 02 < ( SHOUTS FROM OTHER SIDE OF THE STAGE ) > $ WHAT DO YOU MEAN , IT DOESN'T SEEM RIGHT ? $ YOU 'RE WORLD CHAMPION . $ YOU 'VE GIVEN A HUNDRED THOUSAND POUNDS TO CHARITY , AND YOU 'RE A FRIEND OF THE PEOPLE . $ YOU 'VE MORE RIGHT TO CELEBRATE THAN MOST . $ 01 < ( SHOUTS ) > $ WHAT ABOUT ALL THESE WOMEN WHO ARE SUPPOSED TO BE FIGHTING O VER ME , FALLING AT MY FEET . $ WHAT ABOUT THAT THEN ? $ 03 < ( SHOUTS ) > $ WHAT WOMEN ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT ? $ I 'M THE MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMAN IN THE WORLD . $ 02 < ( SHOUTS ) > $ EXACTLY . $ THE TROUBLE WITH YOU IS THAT YOU THINK IT 'S ALL SO EASY . $ COMB YOU HAIR , PUT ON A SUIT , STICK A BOTTLE OF OLD SPICE UP YOUR ARSE , AND THAT 'S IT . $ WELL IT 'S NOT . $ YOU 'RE SITTING NEXT TO THE MOST BEAUTIFUL GIRL IN THE WORLD , SO SHUT UP AND GET ON WITH IT . $ 03 < ( SHOUTS ) > $ AND YOU SHUT UP AND LET HIM GET ON WITH IT . $ 01 < ( SHOUTS ) > $ YES , SHUT UP . $ 03 OH , I 'VE GOT A HEADACHE NOW . $ CAN I HAVE THAT ASPRO BACK , PLEASE ? $ #42 $ 01 YOU DIDN'T GIVE IT TO ME . $ 03 ARE YOU SURE ? $ 01 WHY DO YOU ALWAYS GET HEADACHES ? $ 02 < ( SHOUTS ) > $ BECAUSE SHE 'S STUPID . $ THAT 'S WHY . $ BECAUSE SHE COMES FROM A LONG LINE OF SIMPLETONS . $ HER WHOLE FAMILY IS SIMPLE . $ ALL PUT TOGETHER THEY ONLY MAKE AN I.Q. OF 4 5/8 - 24 CARAT BONE . $ 01 DON'T YOU DARE SPEAK ABOUT HER LIKE THAT . $ 03 < ( SHOUTS ) > $ NO . $ DON'T YOU DARE . $ OH , MY HEAD . $ 01 < ( SHOUTS ) > $ SO JUST YOU SHUT UP . $ 03 < ( SOFTER ) > $ CAN YOU PLEASE JUST STOP SHOUTING ? $ 02 < ( SHOUTS ) > $ SHE HASN'T ADDED A THING TO WHAT SHE WAS BORN WITH - SOLID B ONE . $ 01 < ( SHOUTS ) > $ WILL YOU SHUT UP . $ WHAT 'S GOT INTO YOU ANYWAY ? $ IF YOU WANT A FIGHT , YOU 'RE GOING THE RIGHT WAY TO GET ONE . $ 03 < ( SOFTER ) > $ CAN YOU PLEASE STOP SHOUTING FOR A BIT ? $ 02 < ( SHOUTS ) > $ I DON'T WANT TO FIGHT WITH YOU . $ YOU 'RE TOO STUPID TO FIGHT . $ YOU 'RE AS STUPID AS SHE IS . $ YOU 'RE NOT WORTH FIGHTING . $ 01 < ( SHOUTS ) > $ THAT 'S IT . $ I 'M COMING OVER TO FIGHT YOU . $ WE 'RE GOING TO HAVE THIS OUT . $ < ( TREBOR GOES TO LEAVE , BUT THE GIRL HOLDS HIM BACK . ) > $ 03 MY HEAD . $ I THINK THE TOP IS COMING OFF . $ < ( SITTING DOWN . ) > $ 01 OH , I 'M SORRY . $ LET ME HAVE A LOOK . $ PERHAPS IF I GAVE YOU A MASSAGE . $ < ( STARTS TO MASSAGE HER NECK ) > $ HOW 'S THAT ? $ 03 THAT 'S NICE . $ 02 < ( SHOUTS ) > $ I 'M WAITING . $ 01 < ( SHOUTS ) > $ I HAVE TO ATTEND TO THIS POOR GIRL . $ SHE 'S PROBABLY GOT MIGRAINE . $ 03 NO . $ IT 'S MYGRAINE . $ < ( GIVES A WEAK LAUGH . ) > $ 01 SORRY . $ OH , YES , VERY GOOD . $ YOUR GRAIN . $ SHE 'S SUFFERING , BUT THAT MEANS LITTLE TO YOU , I 'M SURE . $ JUST COUNT YOURSELF LUCKY I CAN'T GET OVER THERE . $ BECAUSE IF I ... $ 03 < ( SHOUTS ) > $ WILL YOU SHUT UP AND GET ON WITH . $ MY HEAD . $ 01 I 'M SORRY . $ I REALLY DON'T KNOW WHAT 'S COME OVER HIM . $ I 'M TERRIBLY SORRY . $ IS THAT HELPING AT ALL ? $ 03 YES , IT 'S GETTING BETTER . $ WHERE DID YOU LEARN HOW TO MASSAGE - IT 'S MARVELLOUS . $ I FEEL SO RELAXED . $ YOU 'VE GOT - OH , WHAT 'S THE WORD ? $ YES , SENSITIVE HANDS . $ YOU SHOULD PLAY THE PIANO , YOU 'D BE MARVELLOUS . $ OH , DON'T EVER STOP . $ MY WHOLE BODY FEELS SO LIGHT . $ I HAVEN'T FELT LIKE THIS FOR YEARS . $ WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME YOU WERE SO GOOD WITH YOUR HANDS ? $ HOLDING OUT ON ME , EH ? $ WELL , NOW I KNOW , AND I 'M GOING TO KEEP YOU UNDER LOCK AN D KEY . $ MMM . $ YOU 'RE TOO VALUABLE TO THROW AWAY . $ DON'T EVER STOP . $ 01 I 'M VERY WORRIED ABOUT HIM . $ 03 I 'M SURE YOU ARE . $ YES , IT 'S VERY WORRYING , I MUST ADMIT . $ A BIT HARDER , PLEASE . $ YES , THAT 'S RIGHT . $ 01 HOW 'S THE HEADACHE ? $ 03 WHAT HEADACHE ? $ ... OH , YES , IT 'S GOING . $ 01 NEARLY GONE ? $ 03 IT 'S GOING . $ 01 IT ' S GOING . $ 03 GOING . $ 01 GOING ? $ 03 GOING . $ 01 GOOD . $ 03 GOING . $ 01 THAT 'S NICE . $ 03 GOING . $ 01 I 'M GLAD . $ 03 GOING . $ 01 MUST BE NASTY . $ 03 GOING . $ 01 BE GLAD WHEN IT 'S GONE , EH ? $ 03 GOING . $ 01 NEARLY GONE . $ 03 GOING . $ 01 GOING . $ 03 GOING . $ 01 GOING . $ 03 GOING . $ 01 GOING . $ 03 GOING . $ 01 GONE . $ 03 GONE . $ 01 ALL GONE . $ 03 GONE . $ 01 HOW DO YOU FEEL ? $ 03 EXHAUSTED ? $ THAT WAS VERY NICE . $ 01 YOU FEEL BETTER NOW ? $ 03 MMM . $ < ( RISE ) > $ WHAT DID YOU GET YOUR CERTIFICATE FOR ? $ 01 WHAT CERTIFICATE ? $ 03 YOU KNOW . $ LIKE THE ONE YOU GAVE ME FOR LOOKING BEAUTIFUL . $ 01 I HAVEN'T GOT ONE . $ 03 EH , YOU 'D BETTER GET ONE BEFORE IT 'S TOO LATE . $ DON'T YOU KNOW IT 'S IMPORTANT TO HAVE SOME CERTIFICATES , E VERYBODY SHOULD HAVE A CERTIFICATE . $ I 'D BETTER TAKE YOU IN HAND . $ DON'T YOU KNOW YOU 'RE NOTHING WITHOUT A CERTIFICATE ? $ 01 IT 'S NOT THAT IMPORTANT . $ 03 ARE YOU CRAZY ? $ I DON'T KNOW WHY I BOTHER WITH YOU . $ PEOPLE DIE TRYING TO GET A CERTIFICATE . $ THEY GET ULCERS ; THEY STEAL AND CHEAT TRYING TO GET THEM , AND YOU SAY THEY AREN'T IMPORTANT . $ 01 BUT I GAVE THAT CERTIFICATE TO YOU . $ 03 SO THAT 'S WHAT I 'M TELLING YOU . $ IT DOESN'T MATTER HOW YOU GET IT , AS LONG AS IT 'S THERE . $ 01 COULDN'T YOU GIVE ME ONE ? $ 03 WHAT ARE YOU GOOD AT ? $ 01 DOES THAT MATTER ? $ 03 ARE YOU CRAZY ? $ OF COURSE IT MATTERS . $ YOU JUST CAN'T GO AROUND GIVING OUT IMPORTANT CERTIFICATES T O ANYBODY . $ IF EVERYBODY HAD THEM THEY WOULDN'T BE IMPORTANT , DON'T YOU SEE ? $ 01 WELL - I SEE THAT . $ 03 GOOD . $ NOW . $ WHAT ARE YOU GOOD AT ? $ 01 LET ME SEE . $ 03 WELL , HURRY UP . $ TIME 'S WASTING , YOU KNOW ? $ 01 I TOLD YOU A GOOD STORY THE OTHER DAY . $ 03 WE ALL TELL STORIES . $ YOU 'LL HAVE TO THINK OF SOMETHING ELSE . $ 01 BUT NOT EVERYONE TELLS GOOD STORIES . $ 03 OH . $ < ( LAUGHS ) > $ I TOLD SOME GOOD ONES WHEN I WAS AT SCHOOL , ESPECIALLY WHEN I WAS LATE . $ #61 $ 01 SUCH AS ? $ 03 OH , I USED TO SAY THINGS LIKE ' I HELPED AN OLD LADY CAR RY HOME HER SHOPPING ' OR ' SOME MAN WASN'T FEELING WELL , S O I RAN TO GET HELP ' , AND ' A LITTLE BOY WAS LOST SO I HAD TO TAKE HIM TO THE POLICE STATION ' . $ PRETTY GOOD , EH ? $ 01 ALL RIGHT . $ BIT RUN OF THE MILL . $ 03 YOU THINK SO , DO YOU ? $ WHAT YOU USED TO SAY , THEN ? $ 01 WELL , I , ER ... $ 03 COME ON . $ 01 LET ME THINK . $ 03 AH , YOU 'VE GOT TO THINK . $ I DIDN'T HAVE TO THINK , DID I ? $ 01 I 'VE GOT ONE . $ I USED TO SAY THINGS LIKE ' THE BUS DRIVER FAINTED ' . $ 03 ' THE BUS DRIVER FAINTED . ' $ 01 GO ON . $ PICK THE BONES OUT OF THAT ONE , THEN . $ 03 ' THE BUS DRIVER FAINTED ' - I DON'T THINK THAT 'S VERY G OOD . $ 01 IT 'S ORIGINAL . $ IT HAS WIT , AND IT MAKES YOU THINK . $ ADMITTEDLY , YOU 'D NEED A MACABRE SENSE OF HUMOUR , BUT THE RE 'S A CERTAIN PANIC ABOUT IT , BRINGS TO MIND QUESTIONS LI KE - DID HE FAINT WHILE THE BUS WAS IN MOTION ? $ IF SO , HOW DID THE BUS STOP ? $ HOW DID THE PEOPLE GET OFF ? $ DID THE BUS CRASH ? $ WAS ANYONE HURT ? $ IT MOTIVATES A WHOLE CHAIN OF QUESTIONS , AND YOUR BEING LAT E IS LOST IN THE PROCESS . $ 03 I 'M SORRY . $ I CAN'T PASS YOU . $ 01 THAT 'S ALL RIGHT . $ I AT LEAST WAS FAILED BY THE MOST BEAUTIFUL GIRL IN THE WORL D . $ 03 YES . $ 01 ANYWAY , THEY 'RE NOT REALLY STORIES , ARE THEY ? $ THEY 'RE ONLY EXCUSES . $ 03 I SUPPOSE SO . $ < ( PAUSE . $ TREBOR IS LOOKING AT THE GIRL . ) > $ 01 WHAT 'S IT LIKE BEING BEAUTIFUL ? $ 03 ALL RIGHT . $ DO YOU WANT TO TOUCH ME ? $ 01 WHY DO YOU SAY THAT ? $ 03 MOST PEOPLE DO . $ IT 'S ALL RIGHT - YOU CAN TOUCH ME IF YOU WANT , AS LONG AS YOU DON'T MAUL ME AND GET ALL STICKY . $ I CAN'T STAND THAT . $ 01 DO YOU MIND IF I PUT MY ARM ROUND YOU ? $ 03 NO . $ PLEASE DO . $ 01 THANK YOU . $ < ( HE PUTS HIS ARM ROUND HER ) > $ I SUPPOSE A LOT OF MEN MAKE FOOLS OF THEMSELVES OVER YOU ? $ 03 I WISH THAT WERE ALL THEY DID . $ 01 DO YOU EVER THINK ABOUT THE FUTURE ? $ 03 OH , DON'T YOU MEAN GETTING OLD ? $ 01 WELL , YES . $ 03 I TRY NOT TO THINK ABOUT IT . $ 01 IT DOESN'T ONLY MEAN GETTING OLD . $ 03 IF YOU DON'T TAKE WHAT 'S OFFERED YOU NOW , YOU WON'T HAV E A THING FOR WHEN YOU DO GET OLD . $ 01 SOME ARE FIGHTING TO LIVE AND SOME ARE FIGHTING TO LIVE W ELL . $ 03 IF YOU 'VE GOT IT , KEEP IT . $ 01 AND IF YOU HAVEN'T GOT IT ? $ 03 THEN YOU 'VE GOT TO GET IT . $ 01 BECAUSE IT 'S A COMPETITIVE WORLD . $ 03 YES . $ AND IF YOU CAN'T COMPETE , GET OUT . $ 01 IT WOULD BE WONDERFUL TO PUT OUT YOUR HAND AND KNOW SOMEO NE WOULD HOLD IT . $ 03 MORE LIKELY CHOP IT OFF . $ 01 WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU FALL OVER ? $ 03 YOU GET UP , I SUPPOSE , UNLESS YOU BREAK YOUR ANKLE , TH EN YOUR HOBBLE . $ 01 HOBBLE . $ 02 < ( ON HIS KNEES ) > $ WHAT 'S WRONG WITH HOBBLING ? $ I 'VE BEEN HOBBLING ALL MY LIFE . $ I JUST HOBBLED OVER HERE TO TELL YOU DINNER WILL BE SERVED I N THE MAIN HALL IN FIVE MINUTES , M' LORD AND LADY - ALSO IT 'S BY WAY OF AN APOLOGY . $ 01 ACCEPTED , OF COURSE , BUT WHY ARE YOU HOBBLING AROUND LI KE A MIDGET ? $ 02 WHAT 'S THE MATTER , YOU HAVE SOMETHING AGAINST MIDGETS ? $ I KNOW SOME VERY SEXY MIDGETS . $ 03 DO YOU ? $ 01 I 'M JUST WORRIED ABOUT YOUR KNEES . $ 02 MY KNEES ARE ALL RIGHT . $ YOU WORRY ABOUT YOUR OWN KNEES . $ 01 WHY SHOULD I WORRY ABOUT MY KNEES ? $ WHAT 'S WRONG WITH MY KNEES ? $ 02 I DON'T KNOW WHAT 'S WRONG WITH THEM . $ 01 NO . $ EXACTLY . $ TURN THE OTHER CHEEK . $ MY KNEES ARE AS GOOD , IF NOT BETTER , THAN YOURS . $ I 'LL PUT MY MONEY ON MY KNEES ANY DAY . $ 03 AND I 'LL PUT MY MONEY ON HIS KNEES AS WELL . $ 02 SUDDENLY HIS KNEES ARE WORTH A FORTUNE . $ WELL , I 'LL PUT MONEY ON MY KNEES AND I 'LL GIVE YOU ODDS , AND YOU HAVE THE ADVANTAGE BECAUSE I 'VE BEEN ON MY KNEES L ONGER THAN YOU . $ 01 I DON'T NEED ANY ODDS FROM YOU , THANK YOU VERY MUCH , AN D AS FOR THE ADVANTAGE , I SHOULD SAY IT EVENS ITSELF OUT BY THE VERY FACT THAT YOU HAVE MORE FAT ROUND YOUR KNEES , SO THEY 'RE BETTER PROTECTED . $ AT LEAST WHEN I GET ON MY KNEES , I WILL BE ON MY KNEES . $ 02 ARE YOU CALLING MY KNEES FAT ? $ THAT 'S ALL I WANT TO KNOW . $ ARE YOU CALLING MY KNEES FAT ? $ 03 YES . $ 01 I DIDN'T SAY THAT . $ 02 SO - IT ALL COMES OUT . $ INSULTS . $ NOTHING TO DO WITH A FAIR RACE ON YOUR KNEES , YOU HAVE TO R ESORT TO INSULTS . $ 01 I 'M STILL PREPARED TO RACE YOU . $ READY WHEN YOU ARE ? $ 02 IT 'S NO GOOD . $ I 'VE GOT CRAMP . $ I CAN'T MOVE . $ I CAN'T GET UP . $ IMAGINE BEING STUCK LIKE THIS FOR EVER . $ WELL , DON'T JUST STAND THERE , DO SOMETHING . $ 01 SOME PEOPLE ARE MENTALLY STUNTED , AND OTHERS , PHYSICALL Y . $ 02 THAT 'S JUST WHAT I NEED AT THIS MOMENT - A SMART ARSE AN SWER . $ THE WHOLE WORLD 'S FULL OF SMART ARSE PEOPLE GIVING ME SMART ARSE ANSWERS . $ I CAN'T WALK AROUND LIKE THIS . $ I WAS GOING TO ARRANGE A NICE EVENING FOR YOU TWO , BUT I CA N'T DO IT ON MY KNEES . $ 01 I KNOW . $ SINCE YOU CAN'T COME UP TO OUR LEVEL , WE 'LL COME DOWN TO Y OURS . $ < ( GETS ON HIS KNEES ) > $ WHAT 'S NEW , SHORTY ? $ < ( GIRL GETS ON HER KNEES . ) > $ 02 < ( RISES ) > $ NOT MUCH . $ HOW CAN I HAVE AN INFERIORITY COMPLEX IF YOU COME DOWN TO MY LEVEL ? $ #62 $ 01 SO , WE 'LL ALL HAVE INFERIORITY COMPLEXES . $ 02 IT 'S NOT THE SAME . $ 03 I 'D HATE TO BE A MIDGET . $ IT MUST BE HELL . $ HAND ME UP . $ 02 DON'T CLUTTER UP YOUR MIND WITH UNSAVOURY IMAGES , LIKE M IDGETS , MY DEAR . $ COME , THE TWO OF YOU , I HAVE A WEE BOTTLE OF STRONG LIQUID REFRESHMENT , COME CHILDREN . $ TO OUR OWN TINY BACHEA . $ FOLLOW THE GOD DIONYSUS TO LUSH PASTURES , WHERE HE WILL BE YOUR BUNNY FOR THE EVENING , AND HE HAS DECREED THERE SHALL BE WHIMPEYS FOR ALL AT 1/6 D. A TIME , AND WE SHALL KNEEL BE FORE NO OTHER SUN-RAY LAMP THAN THE ONE LABLED ' DIONYSUS ' . $ < ( DURING THIS TIME HE HAS FILLED THE THREE GLASSES . ) > $ COME DANCE AND BE MERRY . $ < ( WEBSTER GOES INTO A DANCE , WHICH THE OTHERS FOLLOW . $ THEY MOVE AROUND THE STAGE . ) > $ DANCE AND BE MERRY . $ BALEY THE GOOD TIMES . $ < ( MUSIC CHANGES INTO LATIN-AMERICAN BEAT - VERY LOUD . ) > $ 02 DRINK UP - IT 'S THE GIFT OF THE GODS . $ < ( TREBOR AND GIRL ARE GETTING CARRIED AWAY , AND AS THE MU SIC STARTS TO FADE AWAY WEBSTER LEAPS IN ) > $ AND NOW , FOR THE FIRST OF THE EVENINGS . $ HUMAN SACRIFICES . $ TO SING - THE MOST BEAUTIFUL GIRL IN THE WORLD . $ 03 < ( OUT OF BREATH ) > $ I 'M TOO TIRED TO SING , AND I 'M GETTING A HEADACHE . $ 02 IF YOU WANT TO BE A STAR YOU 'VE GOT TO SING . $ EVERYBODY 'S APPLAUDING . $ DON'T LET THEM DOWN . $ THEY 'VE WALKED FOR MILES . $ THEY 'RE TIRED AND HUNGRY , BUT THEY HAVE YOU . $ LISTEN TO THEM CHEER . $ YOU 'RE A STAR - GIVE THEM WHAT THEY WANT . $ THEY NEED YOUR EMOTIONS , THEY 'VE GOT NONE OF THEIR OWN . $ GIVE THEM THE EXCITEMENT AND FRENZY THEY 'VE PAID FOR . $ YOU 'RE A LOCAL GIRL TRYING TO DO GOOD IN A WICKED WORLD . $ HELP THEM . $ THEY NEED YOU . $ < ( TREBOR JOINS IN . ) > $ 01 I NEED YOU . $ SING . $ 02 LISTEN TO THEM . $ THEY NEED YOU . $ 01 I NEED TO BE EXCITED . $ 02 HE HASN'T EATEN FOR A WEEK . $ 01 I 'LL DIE IF YOU DON'T SING . $ 02 DID YOU HEAR THAT ? $ DIE , HE SAID . $ DO YOU WANT BLOOD ON YOUR HANDS ? $ 01 SING . $ < ( CLAPPING . ) > $ 02 SING . $ < ( CLAPPING . ) > $ 01 SING . $ < ( CLAPPING . ) > $ 02 SING . $ < ( CLAPPING . ) > $ 03 ALL RIGHT . $ I 'LL SING . $ 02 SHE 'S GOING TO SING . $ 01 WE 'RE SAVED . $ 02 QUIET EVERYBODY . $ QUIET . $ QUIET . $ QUIET . $ < ( GIRL SINGS - NOT VERY EMOTIONALLY . ) > $ 02 < ( SHOUT ) > $ MAKE IT SEXY . $ I 'VE MONEY . $ MAKE IT SEXY . $ 01 I 'VE BEEN CHEATED . $ THERE 'S NO SEX . $ 02 BOO . $ TAKE THEM OFF . $ 01 < ( CARRIED AWAY ) > $ STRIP . $ 02 STRIP . $ DID YOU HEAR THAT ? $ THEY WANT MORE OF YOU . $ THEY WANT AS MUCH AS THEY CAN GET . $ 01 TAKE THEM OFF . $ STRIP . $ EYES AND TEETH . $ 02 01 STRIP . . STRIP . $ STRIP . $ < ( GIRL STOPS . $ PUTS HER HANDS ON HER HIPS . ) > $ 03 I CAN'T STRIP . $ < ( LOUDLY . ) > $ 02 WHY NOT ? $ 03 < ( SHOUTS ) > $ BECAUSE I 'M A LADY . $ 02 WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES THAT MAKE ? $ 03 YOU WOULDN'T KNOW , AND BESIDES , I 'VE GOT A HEADACHE . $ < ( WALKS DOWN TO JOIN WEBSTER AND TREBOR . ) > $ 02 WELL , SOMEBODY 'S GOT TO STRIP . $ 01 YES , SOMEBODY 'S GOT TO STRIP ... $ 02 < ( TURNS TO TREBOR ) > $ YOU 'LL HAVE TO STRIP . $ GET UP THERE AND STRIP . $ 01 I CAN'T STRIP . $ 02 WHY NOT ? $ 01 BECAUSE I 'M A MAN . $ 03 AND I 'M A LADY . $ 01 MEN DON'T STRIP . $ 02 YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT MEN DO . $ 03 NO , YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT MEN DO . $ 01 I CAN'T STRIP . $ I WON'T . $ I WON'T STRIP . $ I CAN'T . $ 03 WE WANT OUR MONEY BACK . $ 02 DID YOU HEAR THAT , ARE YOU GOING TO LET THOUSANDS OF PEO PLE DOWN ? $ WHAT SORT OF MAN ARE YOU THAT WON'T STRIP . $ 01 NO , I CAN'T . $ 02 STRIP . $ 03 STRIP . $ 01 NO . $ NO . $ 03 STRIP . $ 01 NO . $ 02 STRIP . $ 01 NO . $ 03 STRIP . $ YOU COWARD . $ 01 NO . $ 02 COWARD , STRIP . $ 01 NO , PLEASE . $ 02 STRIP . $ 03 STRIP . $ 01 NO . $ 02 STRIP . $ 03 STRIP . $ 02 STRIP . $ STRIP . $ STRIP . $ STRIP . $ STRIP . $ 03 STRIP . $ STRIP . $ STRIP . $ STRIP . $ STRIP . $ 02 03 STRIP . $ STRIP . $ STRIP . $ STRIP . $ STRIP . $ 01 < ( SHOUTS ) > $ NO . $ THEY 'VE STOLEN MY NATURAL INHERITANCE . $ THEY WON'T LET ME BE A MAN . $ < ( STRIP ) > $ GIVE ME AN OUTLET OTHER THAN PETTY ARGUMENTS AND LIFTING GIR LS' SKIRTS . $ < ( STRIP ) > $ I 'M TRYING TO BE A MAN . $ < ( STRIP ) > $ I 'M GETTING A HUNCHED BACK . $ LET ME MAKE A DECISION I 'M PROUD OF . $ < ( STRIP - VERY LOUD ) > $ LET ME BE A MAN . $ 02 STRIP , AND YOU 'LL BE THE SINCEREST CON-MAN IN THE WORLD . $ STRIP . $ 03 YOU 'LL BE THE WORLD'S MOST HONEST CON-MAN . $ 02 A BRAVE CON-MAN . $ 03 A FAITHFUL CON-MAN . $ 02 OR JUST A CAN-MAN . $ STRIP . $ 03 STRIP , YOU CON-MAN . $ STRIP . $ < ( TREBOR STARTS TO MOVE . $ HE IS REALLY TRYING AND LOOKS PATHETIC . $ THE MUSIC PLAYS STRIP - WEBSTER AND GIRL SHOUT OUT REMARKS . ) > $ 02 EYES AND TEETH . $ 03 HE 'S NOT SO GREAT . $ #63 $ 02 COME ON . $ 03 HE 'S GOT VARICOSE VEINS . $ < ( TREBOR STARTS TO GET INTO IT , AND TOWARDS THE END GETS VERY CHEEKY WITH THE STRIPPING . $ DURING THE CLOSING MOMENTS OF THE STRIP , WEBSTER HAS TAKEN THE GIRL OFF , BACK TO HER CHAISE LONGUE , WHERE SHE IS NOW LYING DOWN . $ TREBOR FINISHES , AND BOWS TO NO ONE . $ WEBSTER COMES ON BY HIMSELF AND CLAPS . ) > $ 02 I WISH I HAD A BOUQUET TO HAND YOU . $ 01 < ( SITS DOWN ) > $ I FEEL TERRIBLE . $ WHERE 'S THE GIRL ? $ 02 SHE 'S GONE TO LIE DOWN . $ NOT FEELING TOO WELL . $ 01 I THINK I 'D BETTER GO AND SEE IF THERE 'S ANYTHING I CAN DO FOR HER . $ 02 NO . $ YOU GET YOUR BREATH BACK AND HAVE A REST FOR A FEW MINUTES A ND THEN COME OVER . $ SHE SAID SHE WANTED TO SEE YOU IN A COUPLE OF MINUTES . $ SO COME OVER THEN . $ I 'LL SEE THAT SHE 'S ALL RIGHT . $ 01 DID SHE REALLY SAY SHE WANTED TO SEE ME ? $ 02 YES . $ NOW , DON'T FORGET - FIVE MINUTES . $ 01 ALL RIGHT . $ < ( WEBSTER GOES OFF TO GIRL'S AREA . ) > $ 03 OH , MY HEAD . $ 02 HERE , LET ME MASSAGE IT FOR YOU . $ 03 ARE YOU AS GOOD AS THE OTHER ONE ? $ 02 < ( STARTING TO MASSAGE HER SHOULDERS ) > $ BETTER . $ HOW 'S THAT ? $ 03 NICE . $ 02 RELAX , RELAX . $ JUST LET EVERYTHING GO . $ LET YOURSELF RELAX . $ 03 YES , I 'LL RELAX . $ MUST RELAX . $ < ( LIGHTS SLOWLY FADE DOWN TILL THEY ARE IN DARKNESS . $ TREBOR IS WALKING TOWARDS THE GIRL , AS HE WALKS IN ALL THE LIGHTS COME UP FOR A TABLEAU , AND THEN GO OUT . ) > $ < ( SCENE OPENS WITH WEBSTER AND TREBOR - TREBOR IS SITTING THERE . $ WEBSTER IS GETTING ON WITH THE SCAFFOLD . $ THE AUDIENCE SHOULDN'T KNOW IT IS A SCAFFOLD FOR HANGING TWO PEOPLE . ) > $ 02 DO YOU WANT TO GIVE A HAND WITH THIS ? $ < ( NO ANSWER . ) > $ IT 'S NOT WORTH IT . $ I HAD TO MAKE YOU SEE THAT . $ < ( NO ANSWER . ) > $ EVERYBODY 'S GOT IDEAS , IT 'S JUST THAT NOBODY KEEPS THEM . $ CAN'T YOU UNDERSTAND THAT ? $ YOU LOSE SIGHT OF THEM , THEY ALL GET LOST IN THE RUSH . $ YOU HAVE TO COMPROMISE . $ COME ON . $ LOOK , EVERY SO OFTEN YOU HAVE TO STEP ASIDE , AND HAVE A GO OD LOOK AT IT ALL , AND YOURSELF . $ THEN LAUGH LIKE A MANIAC AND JUMP BACK IN . $ < ( NO ANSWER . ) > $ WELL , WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU 'RE GOING TO DO , SELL SOAP FO R THE BLIND ? $ 01 WHY NOT ? $ 02 BECAUSE NOBODY WANTS TO BUY . $ 01 HOW DO YOU KNOW ? $ 02 I 'VE TRIED IT . $ IT 'S FUNNY REALLY . $ 01 HYSTERICAL . $ 02 YOU 'LL HANG ON TO THE VERY END , WON'T YOU ? $ < ( LAUGHS ) > $ IF THEY SENTENCED YOU TO TWENTY YEARS CLEANING OUT THE SEWER S , FROM HEAD TO FOOT IN OTHER PEOPLE'S , I 'D PUT DOWN MY L AST PENNY YOU 'D HANG ON FOR THE TWENTY YEARS . $ 01 AND COME OUT SMELLING LIKE A ROSE . $ IT MAY BE ... $ 02 I KNOW . $ < ( WALKS BACK TO THE SCAFFOLD AND STARTS WORKING ON THE SCA FFOLD . ) > $ 01 I 'VE GOT A STRANGE FEELING YOU 'LL MAKE IT THIS TIME . $ 02 YES . $ 01 DON'T GO . $ 02 I CAN'T TAKE TWENTY YEARS OF SHOVELLING SHIT . $ I 'M NOT WHAT YOU CALL RESILIENT . $ 01 YOU 'RE ALL I 'VE GOT . $ 02 AND YOU 'RE ALL I 'VE GOT . $ < ( PAUSE ) > $ FANCY GETTING MARRIED ? $ SOMETHING SIMPLE , NOTHING LAVISH , OF COURSE , ALL BLACK WI TH ONE STRING OF PEARLS . $ I WENT TO A WEDDING ONCE WHERE TWO FELLOWS GOT MARRIED . $ THIS SCAFFOLD WILL TAKE TWO , YOU KNOW ? $ IT 'S PERFECTLY BALANCED . $ IN FACT , I 'M VERY PROUD OF IT . $ YOU CAN KICK IT IF YOU WANT . $ KICK IT . $ IT 'S VERY STRONG . $ GO ON , KICK IT . $ GIVE IT A KICK . $ 01 TELL ME A STORY . $ 02 NO . $ 01 GO ON . $ 02 NO . $ 01 SHALL I TELL YOU ONE ? $$ 02 NO . $ YOU 'LL GET USED TO BEING ALONE . $ IT 'S NOT SO BAD REALLY . $ DON'T START TALKING TO YOURSELF TOO SOON . THOUGH . $ HANG ON FOR A BIT , AND DON'T START GETTING UP TO STRANGE TR ICKS TOO SOON , EITHER ; IT 'S ALL A MATTER OF TIDING YOURSE LF OVER - WHAT TO DO WITH ALL THE TIME AND THOUGHTS . $ KNITTING MIGHT HELP YOU ? $ NO ? $ NOT GOOD WITH YOUR HANDS , EH ? $ I 'M VERY GOOD WITH MY HANDS , WELL , YOU CAN SEE . $ I THINK IT COMES FROM MY MOTHER'S SIDE . $ 01 WE 'VE HAD SOME GOOD TIMES , HAVEN'T WE ? $ HAVEN'T WE ? $ 02 A FEW MOMENTS SPRING TO MIND , I SUPPOSE . $ 01 WELL , WE COULD GO ON , COULDN'T WE . $ YOU COULD BE THE LEADER . $ I 'D ACCEPT ANY DECISION YOU MADE . $ I KNOW . $ YOU WRITE DOWN ON PAPER A LIST OF RULES OR CONDITIONS THAT I HAVE TO ABIDE BY , THEN I 'LL CHECK THEM AND SEE IF I AGREE . $ HOW ABOUT THAT ? $ IT SOUNDS VERY FAIR TO ME . $ NOW DO WE HAVE ANY PAPER AND A PEN ; MUST HAVE A PEN . $ 02 WAIT A MINUTE . $ I 'M NOT WRITING OUT A LIST OF RULES AND REGULATIONS YOU HAV E TO LIVE BY . $ 01 WHY NOT ? $ IT WOULD BE GREAT . $ I 'LL BE THE FUNNY ONE WHO GETS EVERYTHING WRONG . $ WHO 'S ALWAYS IN A MESS . $ AND YOU CAN BE THE GOODLOOKING , INTELLIGENT ONE . $ IT 'S A PERFECT GROUP , DON'T YOU SEE . $ < ( GOES INTO SONG . ) > $ 02 SHUT UP . $ 01 PLEASE . $ IT 'S SO MUCH EASIER IF YOU 'VE GOT SOMEONE . $ YOU CAN TAKE SO MUCH MORE IF YOU 'VE GOT SOMEONE . $ I 'LL BE YOUR SLAVE . $ HOW 'S THAT ? $ MASTER OF ALL . $ 02 SHUT UP . $ 01 WHAT DO YOU WANT ? $ 02 NOTHING . $ 01 I 'VE GOT NOTHING ELSE TO GIVE . $ 02 BUT I DON'T WANT TO LIVE FOR YOU . $ COME ON . $ LOOK . $ WE 'LL BOTH GO AT THE SAME TIME . $ WE 'VE ONLY GOT EACH OTHER , THAT 'S ALL THERE IS , YOU AND ME , AND IF ANYBODY ASKS YOU , YOU CAN TELL THEM ABOUT US , ALL THE TIMES WE HAD . $ I TELL YOU , YOU 'LL HAVE MORE THAN ENOUGH TO SAY . $ < ( PUTS HIS ARMS ROUND TREBOR ) > $ THEY 'LL HAVE TO SHUT YOU UP , IT 'S TRUE , ONCE YOU START T ELLING THEM ABOUT US , THEY 'LL WISH THEY NEVER ASKED YOU . $ 01 BUT THEY 'LL WANT TO KNOW ABOUT THE GOOD THINGS . $ WHAT GOOD THINGS HAVE WE DONE ? $ 02 WE 'VE DONE LOTS OF THEM . $ DON'T YOU REMEMBER ? $ 01 NO . $ 02 WELL , YOU WILL WHEN THEY ASK YOU . $ I 'M SURE YOU 'LL THINK OF SOMETHING . $ #64 $ 01 WE HAVEN'T DONE ANY GOOD THINGS , AND THAT 'S ALL THEY 'R E INTERESTED IN . $ 02 WELL , MAKE SOME UP . $ 01 YOU MEAN LIE . $ 02 WHY NOT ? $ 01 BUT THEY 'LL KNOW . $ 02 HOW WILL THEY KNOW ? $ I 'M NOT GOING TO TELL THEM . $ 01 WHAT 'S THE POINT OF GOING WITH A WHOLE PACK OF LIES ? $ 02 DON'T WORRY ABOUT THE LIES , JUST GET THERE . $ 01 IF I JUST HAD ONE GOOD THING TO SAY . $ YOU 'VE GOT TO KEEP GOING , DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THAT ? $ ARE YOU STUPID OR SOMETHING ? $ CAN'T I MAKE YOU SEE THAT . $ I DON'T WANT TO BE LEFT ALONE . $ 02 YOU WON'T BE ALONE . $ 01 NO . $ IT 'S MORE THAN THAT , IT 'S MUCH MORE . $ YOU HAVE TO RUN . $ 02 AND NOT QUESTION . $ 01 YOU CAN QUESTION IF YOU WANT . $ 02 BUT NO ANSWERS . $ 01 YOU 'VE GOT TO STAND UP AND CARE AND MAKE THE BEST OF IT . $ 02 ALONE . $ 01 WHY CAN'T I MAKE YOU SEE YOU 'RE BLIND ? $ YOU CAN'T SAY NOTHING AND TURN YOUR BACK ON IT . $ WHAT SORT OF A MAN ARE YOU ? $ IT 'S THE ONLY THING , DEAF , DUMB . BLIND , CRIPPLE , YOU G ET THERE SOMEHOW . $ ONE BILL , TWO BILLS , THREE BILLS , EMOTIONAL PROBLEMS , FO UR BILLS , WORK TWO JOBS , HIGHER THIS , HIGHER THAT . $ YOU GOT PROBLEMS , KICK SOMEBODY , TAKE SOME PILLS , YOUR BA BY COMES OUT CRIPPLE , DON'T LOOK , DON'T APPRECIATE , NO TI ME , REDUNDANT , THERE 'S A MACHINE OVER YOUR SHOULDER , KIC K HIM , HE 'S NOT LOOKING . $ ONE KID , TWO KIDS , THREE KIDS , FOUR KIDS . $ I 'VE GOT AN ARMY TO FEED . $ MONEY THIS , MONEY THAT . $ I HAVEN'T GOT A SPECIAL TALENT . $ WHAT CHANCE IS THERE FOR ME , SIR ? $ 02 NO CHANCE . $ 01 COME ON , THERE MUST BE SOME CHANCE . $ NOBODY 'S THAT UGLY . $ HOW DO YOU COME TO TERMS ? $ 02 YOU DON'T . $ KEEP MOVING . $ 01 BUT I 'M HUNGRY AND POOR . $ 02 WE 'RE ALL HUNGRY AND POOR . $ 01 THAT DOESN'T HELP ME ANY . $ I CAN'T COPE , IT 'S TOO FAST . $ 02 NAME ONE OF US WHO CAN COPE ? $ 01 THAT DOESN'T HELP ME . $ 02 YOU 'RE A TOOTHLESS , SENILE OLD MAN , YOU 'RE NO USE TO ANYONE . $ WHY DON'T YOU DIE ? $ 01 GREAT . $ SOMEBODY WORSE OFF THAN ME . $ OH , CAN I SMASH HIS FACE IN ? $ CAN I KICK HIS BRAINS OUT ? $ CAN I TORTURE HIM ? $ 02 NO , YOU CAN'T . $ HE 'S GOING TO DIE SOON . $ 01 SO AM I ...................... $ 02 BUT HE 'S AN ACCIDENT . $ 01 WE ALL DIE BY ACCIDENT . $ 02 SOME ARE INTENTIONAL ACCIDENTS . $ 01 YES . $ WHAT ABOUT THE ONES WHO CHEAT , COWARDS . $ ALL THOSE WHO CHEAT ARE COWARDS . $ I DON'T WANT TO CHEAT . $ 02 IT 'S DIFFICULT NOT TO . $ 01 I 'VE DONE HARM TO NO ONE . $ I 'LL TAKE A CHEAP ROOM . $ 02 AND TORTURE ANIMALS . $ 01 WHY CAN'T YOU GET THROUGH A DAY WITHOUT CHEATING ? $ 02 EVERYONE CHEATS . $ 01 BUT TO CHEAT YOURSELF . $ 02 YOU CHEAT TO LIVE . $ 01 WHO AM I TALKING TO ? $ 02 TO YOURSELF . $ 01 I 'M STRANGE . $ 02 FISHING THROUGH DUSTBINS . $ 01 JUMP LITTLE WALLS . $ 02 DARK ALLEYS . $ LUNCH IN A TIN . $ 01 BUT I KEEP MOVING . $ 02 THAT 'S ALL THERE IS . $ 01 NO . $ I 'M LOOKING . $ 02 YOU WON'T FIND . $ 01 IT 'S IN ME TO FIND . $ 02 YOU DON'T BELIEVE . $ 01 I WON'T BELIEVE . $ COLOUR ALONG THE WAY . $ 02 WHOSE WAY . $ 01 MY WAY . $ 02 MAKE YOUR OWN . $ 01 IT 'S THERE , I KNOW . $ 02 COLOUR ? $ 01 YES , COLOUR . $ 02 DON'T DOUBT . $ 01 WHO SAID THAT ? $ 02 DOUBT ? $ 01 NO , COLOUR . $ 02 COLOUR AND DOUBT . $ 01 A VOICE . $ 02 YOU'RE OWN . $ 01 NO . $ 02 ALONE . $ 01 ALONE ? $ 02 YES . $ 01 ALONE . $ WITH COLOUR AND DOUBT . $ NO . $ IT WASN'T MY OWN . $ MY OWN WHAT ? $ MY OWN VOICE , YOU FOOL . $ I WON'T CHEAT TODAY , IF YOU TELL ME IT WASN'T MY OWN VOICE . $ YOU HAVEN'T DONE ANYBODY ANY HARM . $ THAT MUST MEAN SOMETHING , IT MEANS NOTHING . $ IT MEANS SOMETHING . $ IT 'S A START ( IT 'S HARMLESS AND IT 'S A START ) , BUT YOU DON'T FINISH . $ . $ I STARTED , I HAVE TO FINISH . $ BUT I 'M TIRED , TOO TIRED . $ I HAVEN'T DONE ANYBODY ANY HARM , BUT I HAVEN'T DONE ANYBODY ANY GOOD . $ I 'M HARMLESS . $ YES , YOU 'RE HARMLESS , AND I 'M TIRED . $ YES , YOU 'RE TIRED . $ I 'M TIRED AND I 'M HARMLESS ; OLD , TIRED AND HARMLESS . $ ALONE . $ NO . $ ALONE . $ YES . $ PUT OUT A HAND . $ HOW 'S THAT ? $ DON'T TREAD ON IT , IT 'S MINE . $ TAKE IT BACK BUT IT 'S NO GOOD NOW . $ ALONE . $ STAND UP , I 'M TIRED , TOO TIRED . $ STAND UP . $ NO MOVE . $ STAND UP . $ I 'M HARMLESS . $ I TRIED . $ ALONE , TIRED , HARMLESS . $ 02 < ( COMES OVER TO HIM , LOOKS AT HIM . $ THEN WALKS AWAY AND COMPLETES THE SCAFFOLD . $ COMES BACK ) > $ WHAT CAN I SAY ? $ WHAT CAN I SAY ? $ SOMEBODY SAY SOMETHING . $ SAY SOMETHING . $ SOMEBODY , PLEASE SAY SOMETHING . $ YOU SEE , NOTHING . $ SILENCE . $ THEY 'LL GREET YOU WITH SILENCE . $ AND ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS SMILE . $ < ( TREBOR FALLS OVER - DEAD . ) > $ 02 NO . $ OH , NO . $ < ( CURTAIN ) > $