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I HAVENT SEEN IT WENT THROUGH GERMANY BUT OF COURSE I HAVENT I DIDNT
SEE ANYTHING BECAUSE IT WAS DURING THE NIGHT BUT IT WE WE CROSSED TO DENMARK
IN THE MORNING I REMEMBER FROM HAMBURG TO GEDSER I THINK A PLACE CALLED
GEDSER OH YES IN DENMARK WE CROSSED IN THE MORNING THE FRONTIER YOU MEAN YES
YES AND THEN IT WASNT VERY INTERESTING IN DENMARK BECAUSE FIRST OF ALL
IT WAS POURING WITH RAIN OH DEAR ABSOLUTELY POURING WITH RAIN HA YES SO I
DIDNT REALLY ENJOY BEING ON THE BOAT BUT THE SCENERYS VERY FLAT I SUPPOSE
IS IT YES TELL ME WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU GO ACROSS THE THE VARIOUS ISLANDS
TO COPENHAGEN DO YOU HAVE TO GET ONTO A BOAT OR ARE THERE BRIDGES ACROSS
THERE ARE BRIDGES BUT I THINK THERE ARE SOME PLACES WHERE YOU HAVE TO TAKE
A BOAT ON THE TRAIN I MEAN YOU SEE OH YOU MEAN DOES THE TRAIN GO ON THE BOAT
GOING FROM YES FROM HAMBURG TO COPENHAGEN YOU KNOW YOU HAVE TO GO BY SEVERAL
ISLANDS OH NO THE TRAIN WENT THE TRAIN WENT ON THE BOAT DID IT THATS WHAT
SURPRISED ME A LOT YOU KNOW I NEVER THOUGHT THE TRAIN WOULD GO ON THE BOAT
AH IS THAT SO NEVER AND YOU FIND MANY RAILWAYS ON THE BOAT BECAUSE THERE WAS
ABOUT FIVE TRAINS FOUR TRAINS ON THE BOAT ON THE FERRYBOAT WHERE WAS THIS
GOING ACROSS THE LITTLE STRETCHES TO BEFORE COPENHAGEN YES TO COPENHAGEN
YOU HAVE TO GO OVER ABOUT TWO OTHER ISLANDS DONT YOU BEFORE YOU GET TO
COPENHAGEN AND I WONDERED WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU GO FROM ONE ISLAND TO THE
OTHER NO THE TRAIN GOES ON THE FERRY OH I SEE YES ALL THE TIME I MEAN I WE
TOOK THE TRAIN FROM AMSTERDAM AND I DIDNT GET OFF THE TRAIN TILL COPENHAGEN
ITSELF ITS RATHER SURPRISING THAT THEY DONT HAVE BRIDGES ISNT IT YOUD THINK
THEYD HAVE BUILT BRIDGES TO A CITY LIKE COPENHAGEN HOW WIDE ARE THEY
BUT ITS RATHER A LONG DISTANCE BETWEEN HAMBURG AND DENMARK YES BUT THE SEA
ISNT VERY WIDE IS IT NO BUT I SHOULD HAVE I MEAN IF THEY CAN HAVE THAT
FERRYBOAT ALL THE TIME SO WHY BUILD A BRIDGE
YES WELL YOU COULD APPLY THAT TO THE CHANNEL COULDNT YOU BETWEEN HERE AND
FRANCE OH BUT ITS YES ITS MORE CONVENIENT REALLY TO HAVE A TUNNEL OR A BRIDGE
BUT I THINK GOING BY BOAT IS INTERESTING YES OH I AGREE IM ALL FOR IT
YES ESPECIALLY WHEN ITS ROUGH BUT IT IT JUST SEEMS A BIT OLD WORLD YOU KNOW WE
WERE FOLLOWED BY A WHOLE FLOCK OF SEA GULLS AND IT WAS VERY INTERESTING
AND THEY FOLLOWED US ALL THE WAY COULD YOU GET OUT OF THE TRAIN YES ON THE
BOAT YOU COULD DO COULD YOU YES ACTUALLY WE GO OUT OF THE TRAIN AND WE WENT
TO THE LOUNGE AND HAD BREAKFAST OH REALLY WHICH WAS VERY NICE I MEAN YOU
GET FED UP SITTING ON THE TRAIN ALL THE TIME YES TELL ME NOW WHEN YOU
TRAVELLED TO SCANDINAVIA BY TRAIN YOU DID SOME OF THE JOURNEY BY NIGHT
FROM COPENHAGEN TO STOCKHOLM FOR EXAMPLE YES THAT WAS BY NIGHT TOO NOW WE
WANT TO DO SOME OF OUR JOURNEYING BY NIGHT IS IT EASY TO SLEEP ON THE TRAINS
DID YOU HAVE A SLEEPER NO I NEVER HAD A SLEEPER BECAUSE IT WAS EXPENSIVE
TO HAVE ONE AND YOU SLEPT IN THE CARRIAGE DID YOU YES THEYRE QUITE COMFORTABLE
YES DID YOU HAVE A RESERVED SEAT I DIDNT ACTUALLY I DIDNT HAVE NO I DIDNT EVEN
HAVE A RESERVED SEAT I HAD A RESERVED SEAT FROM HOLLAND TO DENMARK YES BUT
NOT FROM DENMARK TO SWEDEN NO I SEE NO BUT IT WAS QUITE IT WAS QUITE
COMFORTABLE WAS IT YES I LIKE TO LAY DOWN WHEN IM WHEN IM TRAVELLING BY NIGHT
THATS THE TROUBLE I DONT FIND I CAN SLEEP UNLESS IM LYING DOWN DID YOU
HAVE A WHOLE COMPARTMENT TO YOURSELF NO OH NO MIND YOU I WAS TRAVELLING
IN AUGUST YES WHICH IS THE MOST CROWDED SEASON OF THE YEAR YES THATS TRUE
YOU MIGHT FIND THAT THE TRAINS ARE A BIT COLD AS WELL WELL I SUPPOSE YOU
DONT KNOW I THINK THEY WERE HEATED BUT DONT THEY YES THEY PROBABLY HAVE
DOUBLE GLAZING THEY THEY CERTAINLY HAVE DOUBLE GLAZING IN RUSSIA WHATS
GLAZING DOUBLE GLAZING DOUBLE GLAZING TWO TWO TWO PANES OF GLASS ON THE
WINDOWS INSTEAD OF JUST ONE ONE GLASS THEY HAVE TWO LOTS OF WINDOWS ONE
INSIDE THE OTHER
YOU SEE I CANT REMEMBER NO WELL YOU WOULDNT THEY TAKE IT OFF
IN SUMMER BUT IN WINTER THIS IS THE USUAL THING IN IN VERY COLD COUNTRIES
NO THEY ARE QUITE I MEAN THERE THERE WERE WATER HEATERS AND
ON AND OFF AND THAT SORT OF THING YES WHICH MEANT THAT YOU CAN TURN THE
HEATER ON BUT BUT SLEEP SLEEP IF YOU GET COUCHETTES OR SLEEPERS THEY ARE
MORE EXPENSIVE I SUPPOSE ARENT THEY YES I THINK ITS THE SAME PRICE AS HERE
ACTUALLY YES BUT FOR ME EVEN THAT WAS EXPENSIVE ITS ANOTHER WELL ITS

ANOTHER FIFTEEN SHILLINGS OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT ISNT IT ITS QUITE A LOT A
DAY A A NIGHT YES IT COST ME THE TICKET FROM LONDON TO STOCKHOLM IT WAS
SIXTEEN POUND SOMETHING SINGLE FROM LONDON TO STOCKHOLM YES WELL IF I HAD RETURN
IT WOULD HAVE IF I HAD A RETURN IT WOULD HAVE BEEN TWENTY EIGHT POUNDS
WELL OUR RETURN TO COPENHAGEN FOR US IS COMING OUT ABOUT TWENTY
THREE POUNDS BUT THAT INCLUDES BERTHS ON THE BOAT TOO FROM HARWICH
TO THE HOOK BERTHS BERTHS SHOULD I SAY BERTHS YES WHAT DID YOU SAY I
SAID BERTHS I THINK BOTH ARE POSSIBLE NO I THINK BOTH ARE
POSSIBLE TOO SURELY ITS ITS A THE BIRTHS OF ALL HER CHILDREN WERE
SUCCESSFUL OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT BUT THE BERTHS IN THE BOAT I SAY THE
BIRTHS OF ALL HER CHILDREN I THINK YOUVE GOT IT THE WRONG WAY ROUND
I DONT KNOW OH OH IS IT BIRTHS OH SORRY MIGHT BE I DONT KNOW BUT
I DONT WE HAD A FRENCH FRIEND WHO CAME OVER AND GOT A ONE OF THESE ROUNDABOUT
TICKETS YES IN ENGLAND AND HE HE WOULD HAVE A DAY IN SCOTLAND LOOKING
AT EDINBURGH FOR INSTANCE AND THEN CATCH THE TRAIN DOWN TO LONDON AND
SPEND AND SPEND THE NIGHT SLEEPING IN THE TRAIN HE GOT A FIRST CLASS
TICKET I THINK OH YES AND SO HE DIDNT EVER HAVE TO SPEND STAY IN A HOTEL
AT ALL WHICH MUST HAVE BEEN A FOUL LIFE FOR ABOUT HE DID IT FOR ABOUT ABOUT
ABOUT A FORTNIGHT I THINK GOOD HEAVENS A HORRIBLE LIFE I SHOULD THINK
WELL I DONT KNOW I I FIND IF I CAN IF I HAVE A COMFORTABLE QUARTER
ON A ON A TRAIN SUCH AS A SLEEPING CAR OR A COUCHETTE OH YES THATS
ALL RIGHT YES I I FIND IT VERY PLEASANT TO TRAVEL AROUND LIKE THAT YES
ITS WHEN I HAVE TO SIT UP ALL NIGHT THAT I HATE IT YES
YES YES WHAT I WHAT WE WANT TO DO IS TO IS TO DO ALL OUR TRAVELLING
BY NIGHT SO THAT WE SAVE SOME HOTELS BUT ON THE OTHER HAND IF WE HAVE
COUCHETTES ITLL PRESUMABLY PUT THE PRICE UP EVEN MORE SO IT BUT IF YOU IF YOU
PAY FOR COUCHETTE COUCHETTES OR SLEEPERS ARE MORE EXPENSIVE THAN YOUTH HOSTELS
YES THATS THE TROUBLE YES SO WE CAN ASSUME ITS
IN IN COPENHAGEN I PAID TWO AND SIX PER NIGHT DID YOU BUT NOW TELL
ME THIS IS ANOTHER THING THAT WORRIES ME WE ARE NOT
GOING TO DO VERY MUCH WALKING OR ANYTHING WHEN WE ARE IN SCANDINAVIA
SHAME SHAME SHAME WERE WERE JUST GOING TO ANY SKIING NO WELL NO PROBABLY NOT
WERE GOING TO GO AROUND BY BY TRAIN YOU SEE WERE GOING TO GET
A CIRCULAR TICKET WHEN WEVE GOT TO COPENHAGEN WHICH TAKES US TO OSLO AND
STOCKHOLM AND HELSINKI AND THEN BACK TO MALMO AND AND COPENHAGEN TRIPPERS
YES EH TRIPPERS ARE YOU GOING WITH YOUR PARENTS TOO MMMM ARE YOU GOING
WITH YOUR PARENTS NO WITH TWO FRIENDS ACTUALLY HE CANT KEEP UP
WITH HIS PARENTS NO BUT WHAT I WANT TO KNOW IS DO THE YOUTH HOSTELS MIND
THERE DID YOU DO ANY WALKING WHEN YOU WERE THERE I MEAN SORT OF HIKING THAT
SERIOUS WALKING I MEAN YOU YOU WERE STAYING AT YOUTH HOSTELS YES BUT DID

OH YES YES ACTUALLY A LOT OF MY FRIENDS HAD A MARVELLOUS TIME OVER NEW YEAR
THERES A VERY GOOD A VERY GOOD WARDEN THERE APPARENTLY YEAH OH IT DOES MAKE A
DIFFERENCE WHEN THE WARDENS GOOD AND YOU CAN COME IN AT ALL HOURS OF THE NIGHT
AND THIS SORT OF THING YES ACTUALLY THE YOUTH HOSTELS DIFFICULT TO GET TO YOU
KNOW AT NIGHT BECAUSE ITS SKIINGS UP HERE SAY THERES A VALLEY AND THE
YOUTH HOSTELS THERE AND THE STATIONS DOWN THERE EVERYTHING ELSE HAPPENS OVER
HERE PROBABLY DELIBERATE AND LITERALLY YOU SEE PEOPLE SKIING FROM ONE PLACE TO
THE NEXT YOU KNOW AND YOU YOU CAN GET QUITE FAST ON SKIS AND THE AND THE ROAD
GETS SO BEAUTIFULLY PACKED WITH
SNOW AND IT FILLS UP ALL THE CORNERS YOU KNOW YOU CAN GET ROUND FASTER
HAVE THEY GOT A SKI LIFT THERE YEAH THEY THEYVE GOT A LIFT THERE AS WELL
OH THATS NEW ISNT IT WELL THEYVE GOT ONE IN GLENCOE ONE IN GLENSHEE* AND ONE
IN THE CAIRNGORMS THE POOR HIGHLANDS
WILL GET AWFULLY COMMERCIALISED WELL IT ITS NOT AS BAD AS ALL THAT YOU KNOW
THE THINGS WHICH ARE GETTING COMMERCIALISED ARE THESE NEW
HOTELS THEYRE PUTTING UP AND THEYVE GOT A THING CALLED A SHIELING OH YES WHICH
IS A A NEW SORT OF I DONT KNOW WHAT A SHIELING IS BUT ITS A NORWEGIAN OR
A GERMAN WORD FOR A HUT AT THE BOTTOM OF THE SKI RUN OH AH WELL SHOULD
THINK THATS VERY WELCOME BUT STILL ITS IT ITS CHEAPER THOUGH

SKIING IN SCOTLAND IT REALLY IS WELL I REALLY YOU KNOW I REALLY WANTED
TO DO IT BEFORE I GO AWAY BECAUSE THISLL BE MY HOLIDAY THIS YEAR
YEAH AND ALSO ITS AS WELL TO HAVE A FEW A FEW DAYS IN YOU KNOW YOU COULD
HAVE LESSONS IF YOU WANT TO THERE THERES A SKI SCHOOL UP THERE YES
IT OPERATES FROM A CARAVAN ON THE SIDE I MEAN IF YOU GET A COLD THEY SHOVE YOU
IN THERE TILL YOURE WARM YOU KNOW WELL I THINK THE FIRST TIME YOU KNOW IF YOU
MANAGE TO GET LESSONS WELL AS FAR AS THAT GOES THE UNIVERSITY SKI CLUB
THOSE SORT OF LESSONS BY STUDENTS WHO CAN BE BOTHERED TO DO THEY IN THE GYM
YOU MEAN NO UP ON THE SLOPE OH UP ACTUALLY UP THERE YEAH OH I I THINK YOURE
COFFEE HAS DREADFUL EFFECT ON ME ITS ALL THE WATER
I THINK IS THE WORD OH I I WOULDNT KNOW WELL ILL SEE IF I CAN BORROW
A CAR FOR THE WEEKEND THATD BE MARVELLOUS WELL YOU KNOW I I WAS HOPING
TO GO BECAUSE ITS MY ONLY HOLIDAY AND IM GOING JUST THINK ONE FORTNIGHT IN
THE YEAR MIGHT AS WELL MAKE THE MOST OF IT YES BESIDES OUT IN AUSTRIA EVERYBODY
TO SKI YES THATS HAVE YOU NOT SKIED BEFORE NO I IVE NEVER BEEN WINTER SPORTING
BEFORE ANYWAY OH YOU I MEAN HAVE YOU GOT ANY SKIS OR ANYTHING
IVE GOT SKI TROUSERS AND AN ANORAK I GOT THE ANORAK FOR CHRISTMAS HAD THE SKI
TROUSERS FOR QUITE A WHILE AT LEAST YOU GET PLENTY OF USE OUT OF THOSE SORT
OF THINGS THE WINTER ETCETERA OH ITD
BE WORTH A WORTH A TRIAL ANYWAY YOU KNOW ITS A THING IVE ALWAYS SORT OF FANCIED
WELL ILL ILL SEE DAVID* TOMORROW ILL GO AND SEE HIM IN THE MORNING AND ILL SEE
WHAT THE POSITION IS ON SUNDAY YES GIVE IT A TRY ANYWAY IF HE COULD LEND ME
THE CAR AND IF HE CANT LEND ME THE CAR CAN HE AT LEAST MANAGE TO COPE
WITH SOME OF US ILL TELL YOU WHAT WE CAN DO WHAT GET ON A BUS THE SCOTTISH SKI
CLUB AND THE UNIVERSITY SOMETIMES BUT THE SCOTTISH SKI CLUB ARE OUT NEARLY
EVERY SUNDAY AND THE PLACE IS SIBBALDS* TRAVEL AGENCY DOWN IN WHATS THE NAME
OF THE STREET STAFFORD STAFFORD STREET OR SOMEWHERE AROUND THERE BEST IF YOU GET
A CROWD QUEENSFERRY ROAD ACTUALLY ISNT IT I SHOULD IMAGINE THIS SORT OF THING
ITS MUCH MORE FUN WELL IT DOESNT REALLY MAKE ALL THAT DIFFERENCE REALLY
BECAUSE AS FAR AS THE SKIING GOES YOU FIND THAT SOME PEOPLE CAN SKI BETTER
OR WORSE THAN OTHERS AND YOU AND YOU GENERALLY GET SEPARATED UP
ANYWAY AND THERES ALWAYS A THERES ALWAYS A WHOLE CROWD UP THERE WHO YOULL
KNOW YOU SEE ON THE SLOPES ANYWAY AND AND YOU ALWAYS MEET A GOING TO LOSE MY
BUTTON YOULL ALWAYS MEET QUITE A GOOD CROWD DOWN IN THE THE PUBS
AROUND THE PLACE YOU KNOW AFTERWARDS YES AND ITS ITS OK YOU KNOW DONT KNOW ABOUT
GOING UP BY YOURSELF BUT FINE TO HAVE SOMEBODY ELSE WITH YOU YES
ITS QUITE FUN WELL ILL FIND OUT TOMORROW ABOUT THE CAR AND LET YOU KNOW
WHAT HAPPENED TO YOURS WHAT CAR THE BLACK WHICH ONE CANT REMEMBER THE WOLESLEY
WOLESLEY YES SOLD DID YOU WHAT DYOU GET FOR IT I DONT KNOW I MADE TWENTY FIVE
QUID ON IT THATS ALL I CAN MADE YEAH I GOT A HUNDRED FOR IT IN EFFECT
IT WAS RATHER COMPLICATED BUT I MADE YES THIRTY THREE AND A THIRD PERCENT PROFIT
OH YES HES A REAL BUSINESS MAN YES MONEY IS MY LIFE YEAH WELL I SUPPOSE
I LIVE TO MAKE MONEY WHAT ABOUT YOU I LIVE FOR OTHER THINGS
WHICH YOU CANT ACQUIRE WITHOUT MONEY
HOW LONG HAS THAT THING GOT TO OH I DONT KNOW ABOUT TEN I DONT KNOW ABOUT TEN
MINUTES OR SOMETHING GET USED TO IT AFTER A BIT WELL YOU DO YOU BECOME QUITE
UNAWARE OF ITS PRESENCE REALLY EXCEPT IT GOING PITIDEE DEE DEE YES BUT I MEAN
ITS JUST LIKE THE TICKING OF A CLOCK YES HEAR IT LONG ENOUGH AND YOU LISTEN FOR
IT YOU CANT HEAR IT
IVE OFTEN DONE THAT AT HOME SAID OH THE CLOCKS STOPPED YOU KNOW AND MOTHER SAID
DONT BE SILLY SURE ENOUGH ITS STILL GOING YOU KNOW JUST LIVE WITH IT TROUBLE
WITH THIS PLACE IS ITS SO COLD IS THIS COLD WELL THIS ROOM IS COLD I ITS
DIFFICULT TO GET IT ABOVE A CERTAIN TEMPERATURE I THINK ITS QUITE WARM AT
THE MOMENT WELL ITS EXCUSE ME YOUVE JUST POTTERED DOWNSTAIRS SO YOULL THINK
ITS WARM OH WE HAD A TERRIBLE REVELATION TODAY OUR ENTIRE FLOOR HAS
TO BE TAKEN UP IN OUR FLAT WHY BECAUSE WELL LAST TERM WE WERE WE HAD SOME
FRIENDS IN AND DANCING AROUND AND SOMEBODY FELL THROUGH THE FLOOR
ITS QUITE AMUSING ACTUALLY ITS JUST GONE ON THE FLOOR AND ALL OF ITS ROTTEN
THE PIPES HAVE BEEN LEAKING WEVE GOT DAMP ROT AND THE PLUMBERS CAME IN
TODAY TO MEND THE PIPES AND THEY STARTED PULLING UP THE FLOOR I SAID WAIT

A MINUTE AND THEY SAID OH ITS ALL RIGHT LOVE THEYVE GOT TO GO WE WEVE JUST
GOT NO FLOOR LEFT NOW ANYWAY FORTUNATELY WE DONT HAVE TO PAY FOR IT
THEYVE TAKEN ALL THE FLOOR AWAY PRACTICALLY OH AND
HALF THE WALL THATS COME OUT WELL YOU CERTAINLY DONT HAVE TO PAY FOR IT OH NO NO
WE DONT ALL THE RECENT ACTS AND THINGS NO WELL OUR ARRANGEMENT IS THAT THE THE
FELLOW WHOS LET LETS HIS FLAT HES GONE TO NEW ZEALAND FOR THE YEAR AND WE DO
ALL BUSINESS THROUGH HIS LAWYER YES IS ABOVE BOARD AND YOU ONLY GET IT FOR A
YEAR DO YOU YOU DONT YES YOU ONLY GET IT TILL JUNE MOVE IN AND YOU HAVE TO MOVE
OUT ITS A PITY REALLY YOU GET AWFULLY FOND OF THE PLACE DO YOU WELL THIS ISNT
BAD OH ITS NOT BAD NO ITS A LOT BETTER THAN ITS NOT DIFFICULT TO
KEEP CLEAN YOU SHOULD SEE OUR FLAT HEAVENS I ILL TELL YOU A LITTLE STORY
AT THE END OF LAST TERM I SPENT THREE DAYS CLEANING OUR FLAT OUT AND I LET IT TO
YOU IN SALISBURY* NOW NO I LIVE IN A FLAT JUST DOWN THE ROAD FROM YOU SOUTH
CLERK* STREET OH AND LET IT TO A GIRL IN MY YEAR WHO WANTED TO STAY IN IT
WITH TWO OTHER GIRLS I DIDNT KNOW WHO THE OTHER GIRLS WERE AND SHE STAYED
THERE I CAME BACK AT THE BEGINNING OF THIS TERM AND THOUGHT HEAVENS THIS
PLACE IS SPOTLESSLY CLEAN YOU KNOW IVE NEVER SEEN IT SHINING
LIKE THIS AND SHE TOLD ME THE OTHER DAY YOUR FLAT WAS ABSOLUTELY FILTHY
AND I I HAD JUST FINISHED CLEANING IT OH THANK YOU OH THAT THE FIRST THING
I DID WHEN I CAME BACK WAS CLEAN THE BATHROOM YOU KNOW IT HADNT BEEN CLEANED
ALL LAST TERM IT WAS ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTING QUITE DISGUSTING GREAT BIG
THICK BLACK RINGS AROUND THE BATH OH NO THE BATH WAS CLEAN THE WALLS I I DIDNT
REALISE THEY WERE PINK THEY WERE SORT OF PALE GREY OR SOMETHING WALLS ARE A
THING I WOULD NEVER DREAM OF TOUCHING BECAUSE ONCE YOUVE TOUCHED THEM ITS SO
OBVIOUS THAT YOUVE TOUCHED THEM IF I WERE TO GET
A CLOTH AND WIPE THIS GRIME WOULD COME OFF
AS IT IS IT LOOKS SO SO YOUR FINGERS ALL OVER THE CEILING OH THIS IS THIS IS
REASONABLY CLEAN BY OUR STANDARDS OH WELL WEVE COVERED THE ENTIRE WALL WITH
BEER MATS WHICH GO STALE WE WE DONT COVER THINGS TOO MUCH BECAUSE I MEAN YOU
KNOW YOU RUIN IT OH BUT OH IVE HAD A BIG RESHUFFLE OF FURNITURE SINCE I MOVED
MY BED IN HERE ONLY RECENTLY YEAH WHERE WAS IT BEFORE IT WAS IN THERE THAT WAS
THE BEDROOM THIS WAS THE LIVING ROOM AND NOW WEVE MORE OR LESS GOT A ROOM
EACH YOU SEE THIS MEANS YOU LIVE IN YOUR BEDROOM YES EXCUSE ME OH NO THIS IS
STILL A SORT OF COMMON ROOM BECAUSE THE KITCHEN HOWEVER I DONT DONT MIND SO
BOUGHT THE RADIO COST ME THREE QUID ITS A GOOD RADIO AND RECENTLY BOUGHT
A RECORD PLAYER AND STARTED BUYING SOME RECORDS THOSE ARE ALL THE MY
RECORDS ARE THE HORIZONTAL ONES BOBS* ARE ALL MODERN JAZZ OH BOBS* ARE VERTICAL
WHOS THAT PRETTY LITTLE ITS MY SISTER BESPECTACLED YOUNG LADY THATS YOUR
SISTER IS IT YES HOW OLD IS SHE EIGHT BET SHES A HANDFUL NOT YET NO SHES ITS
A VERY GOOD PHOTOGRAPH OF HER ACTUALLY IVE GOT SOME COLOUR TAKEN AGES AGO
ACTUALLY I GOT THE MOST REMARKABLE CHRISTMAS PRESENT FROM AN AUNT IN HUNGARY
WHOM I DIDNT KNOW EXISTED UNTIL MY FATHER RECENTLY
SORT OF TOLD ME THAT HED STARTED WRITING TO HER BUT LOOK AT THAT FOR A
CHRISTMAS PRESENT WOWEE WHAT IS IT MADE OF IS IT I DONT KNOW I THINK ITS
LEATHER OR THE WHITE OF THE SNOW IS IS JUST REPRESENTED BY UNPOLISHED
LEATHER I THINK ITS RATHER NICE THOUGH ISNT IT MONARCH OF THE GLEN SORT OF
GENUINE HUNGARIAN PRODUCE NOW THEN EXCUSE ME A MINUTE
BAD PHOTOGRAPH WHAT A HANDSOME YOUNG MAN THAT WAS ME ABOUT THREE YEARS REALLY
THAT WASNT YOU WAS GOD YOU DO LOOK TERRIBLE OH MY GOODNESS ME THATS ME
OUR HOUSE YES AND THATS THE MODEL OF THE MODEL OF THE JOB I WAS WORKING ON
YOU KNOW THE NEW MULTI STOREY CAR PARK THATS THE MODEL OF IT THESE CAME OUT VERY
BADLY THATS THE THING TOO THATS THE MULTI STOREY CAR PARK ISNT IT YEAH TERRIBLE
PHOTOGRAPH SHOCKING ISNT IT OH THERE WE ARE I TOOK THAT ITS QUITE A GOOD
PHOTOGRAPH OH THATS A BETTER ONE OF ME HANDSOME HARRY* LOOK AT THAT EH QUITE A
CASUAL YOUNG MAN EH YOUNG MAN ABOUT TOWN SHE WAS A GIRL I MET IN NORWAY
RATHER SWEET ABOUT SEVENTEEN OR SOMETHING THATS THE JOB AGAIN BUT THE ACTUAL
THING OH YES LONG DISTANCE THIS IS THE LATEST OF PLACES PETERBOROUGH CATHEDRAL
GOOD EYESIGHT YOU MUST HAVE WHY OH YES THESE ARE CONTACT PRINTS HAVE YOU
VERY GOOD AND THEY WERE VERY CHEAP AND THEYVE STOPPED DOING THEM NOW WHAT IS IT
SORT OF PLASTIC PAPER OR SOMETHING I DONT KNOW HUNGARIAN TYPE PROBABLY DIRT

CHEAP OBVIOUSLY HUNGARIAN WELL THIS IS THE ONLY WAY TO TELL THAT
ITS NOT ENGLISH IS TO READ ALL THIS GREEK DOWN HERE LOOKS LIKE GREEK TO ME
BUT ITS RATHER NICE I THINK RATHER SWEET OF HER TO SEND IT TO SOMEONE SHE
DOESNT KNOW I HAVE AN AUNT WHO ISNT AN AUNT AND SHE SENDS ME HANDKERCHIEFS
EVERY CHRISTMAS AS A PRESENT WELL IVE GOT AUNTS LIKE THAT AS WELL IVE ONLY
GOT A JAPANESE AUNT AND SHE AND SHE KEEPS SENDING ME FROM CHINA DYOU WANT
SOME COFFEE YES PLEASE AND ANOTHER TEN MINUTES AND I THINK IT SHOULD BE
THROUGH ANOTHER TEN MINUTES WELL YOU KNOW WE HAD FIVE OF THE LAST TEN WE
MIGHT EVEN RUN RUNNING ALL THE WORDS TOGETHER AND MAKING ACTUALLY SOME
PEOPLE SPEAK VERY QUICKLY YOU KNOW THE PEOPLE THAT REALLY SPEAK AT A
GIGANTIC RATE OF VELOCITY AND THESE PEOPLE ARE THEYRE MUCH MORE USEFUL BECAUSE
IT MEANS REALLY WERE CHEATING WERE GETTING MORE FOR OUR MONEY THAN WE SHOULD
THATS PRETTY GOOD GOING YES WED BETTER START TALKING VERY FAST INDEED
IN THAT CASE BUT THESE I HAVE TO FILL IN ALL SORTS I HAVE TO LISTEN TO
ALL THIS AGAIN YOU KNOW AND FILL IN FORMS YOU DO YEAH WHAT DO YOU FILL
IN AFTERWARDS THEN OH I HAVE TO SORT OF FILL IN AGES AND OCCUPATIONS
AND DETAILS OF THE RECORDING CAN WE LISTEN TO SOME OF THE OTHER ONES
I I HAVENT GOT ANY OF THE OTHER I TOOK THEM ALL IN TODAY
BECAUSE ID ONLY GOT TWO BIG TAPES FILLED UP AND I TOOK
THOSE IN DOESNT MATTER WHO YOU RECORD OR WHAT YOU RECORD OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT
NO ITS JUST ITS JUST A CASE OF ONE WANTS LOTS AND LOTS OF OF CONVERSATION WORDS
AND ONE WANTS A PRETTY GOOD CROSS SECTION DOES IT MATTER WHAT YOU SAY
NO WHAT YOU OUGHT TO DO ACTUALLY IS TAKE IT DOWN TO A BUS STOP
OR A PUB OR SOMETHING YES WELL DONT YOU THINK YOUD JUST GET A BABBLE OF VOICES
WOULDNT YOU EXACTLY WOULD YOU THATS WHY WE DONT WANT TOO MANY PEOPLE YOU SEE
IF YOU HAVE NINE PEOPLE ROUND AND YOU GET EVERYBODY TALKING AT ONCE
ITS DIFFICULT TO QUITE MAKE OUT WHAT IS SAID BECAUSE I WAS THINKING IN THE
REFECTORY YOU COULD GET MARVELLOUS SNATCHES OF CONVERSATION YES IF IT WASNT
FOR THE GENERAL HUM WELL IT ITS QUITE INTERESTING VERY VERY INTERESTING I
WOULD SAY DYOU KNOW WHAT THEYLL FIND IN MY CONVERSATION IS EVERY OTHER WORD
IS SORT OF OH WELL YES ONE DOES BECOME AWARE OF ONES PECULIARITIES
OH I THINK IVE HAD THAT PECULIARITY FOR A LONG TIME
THIS IS WHY ITS NOT A GOOD THING FOR ANY ONE PERSON FOR EXAMPLE MYSELF
TO BE ON TOO MUCH BECAUSE OTHERWISE IF I HAVE ANY PECULIAR HABITS THEYLL
BE PREDOMINANT THIS IS RATHER GOOD ACTUALLY IF YOU WANT TO YOU COULD GIVE
THE IMPRESSION YOURE WORKING FRIGHTFULLY HARD BY PUTTING YOUR LITTLE
I REVELLED IN IT IT WAS WONDERFUL YOU CAN GET JOLLY EMBARASSING MOMENTS IF YOU
SNIPPETS OF CONVERSATION EVERY NOW AND THEN JUST LIKE THE ONE YOU PUT IN THERE
IN WHICH YOU SAY WELL OF COURSE I HAVE TO WORK FAIRLY HARD ON THIS SORT OF
THING AND I I HAVE TO SIT UP ALL HOURS OF THE NIGHT PROGRAMMING IT UP AND
COLLECTING LITTLE BITS OF
YOU KNOW OF COURSE I HAD TO DO IT THROUGH AT LEAST THREE OR FOUR TIMES TO GET AN
IDEA OF YOU HAVE NOW SHATTERED HIS ILLUSIONS HAVENT YOU LAUGHING IS NOT INCLUDED
OH WE I GOT ONE CONVERSATION WHERE THE PARTICIPANTS WERE UNAWARE OF IT
AND WE WERE SITTING ROUND A TABLE HERE EATING AND IT WAS JUST ABSOLUTELY
FULL OF INSANE LAUGHTER I MEAN IT WAS A SORT OF HANCOCKS* HALF HOUR YEAH
LEAVE THE TAPE RECORDER OH YES YES SOMETIMES ITS WICKED REALLY DAVID* OH ID
BETTER NOT SOME PEOPLE I KNOW HAVE PUT TAPE RECORDERS IN THEIR OFFICE AND LEFT
IT YOU KNOW AND YES DURING THE COURSE OF THE DAY THEYVE HAD ENOUGH INFORMATION
TO SACK EVERY SINGLE PERSON IN THE IN THE BUILDING YES COMPLETELY UNFAIR
ACTUALLY IF YOU WORK IN A BIG OFFICE IS TO PICK UP THE INTERNAL TELEPHONE
AND YOU CAN HEAR VARIOUS CONVERSATIONS GOING
YES ACTUALLY SOMETIMES YOU PICK UP A TELEPHONE DOWNSTAIRS YES
AND YOU HEAR YOU HEAR A SORT OF WELL YOU KNOW HE SAID TO ME HE SAYS LIKE
I DONT WANT TO LEAVE YOU BUT I HAVENT GOT ANY MORE SIXPENCES IM AFRAID
IM IN ONE OF THOSE NEW COIN BOXES AND IT KEEPS ON PIPPING
YES THEYRE MARVELLOUS ACTUALLY THESE NEW THINGS THEYRE WONDERFUL VERY GOOD
THERES THERES NO LIMIT NOW IN EDINBURGH AS WELL AS THE SOUTH NO NOT YET
WAITING FOR IT NO ITS HOPELESS YEAH TERRIBLE THREE MINUTES FOR WELL THERE ARE
SOME BOXES THE CALEDONIAN NUMBER I THINK I THINK QUITE RIGHTLY SO

AND AND WAVERLEY NUMBERS IS THAT SO YES BUT THEY HAVENT GOT THE AUTOMATIC
BOXES IN YET HAVENT THEY NOT THE NEW ONES NO NO THEYLL PROBABLY
DO THAT ALL AT ONCE ALL OVER THE I THINK THEYRE A DARN GOOD IDEA THESE THINGS
OH THEY ARE AND APPARENTLY RECENTLY THEYVE MADE IT SO THAT YOU CAN OR SOON
WILL BE ABLE TO AN OPERATOR IN LONDON WILL JUST BE ABLE TO DIAL
A NUMBER IN THE STATES JUST LIKE THAT AT THE MOMENT YOU CAN DIAL
TO MOST TOWNS IN BRITAIN ANYWAY YES I KNOW IF I WANTED TO SPEAK AT HOME
IF IF THERE WAS A YOU KNOW ONE OF THOSE NEW TYPE OF COIN BOXES UP HERE I
COULD GET WHAT IS IT EIGHTEEN SECONDS FOR THREEPENCE AFTER SIX OCLOCK YES
YES THATS QUITE GOOD GOING BUT WHAT
I OBJECT TO IS DURING THE DAY I I OFTEN JUST LIKE RINGING UP MY FRIENDS
AND HAVING A CONVERSATION WELL YES BUT THEN YOU SHOULD BE EXPECTED TO PAY
FOR IT WHICH IS FAIR PAY EXTRA FOR IT ENOUGH BUT MY PARENTS CAN QUITE EASILY
PICK UP THE RECEIVER AT HOME AND JUST SAY IS BILL* IN IF HE IS WILL YOU ASK
HIM TO RING BACK AND THAT COSTS THEM TWOPENCE YES WHICH IS VERY GOOD FOR THAT
SORT OF THING YOU SEE
ARE YOU ON THE PHONE DOWN HERE YES THATS WHAT I MISS IN OUR FLAT WELL YOU
COULDNT LIVE WITHOUT A TELEPHONE
I KNOW I THINK ITS QUITE QUITE A RELIEF NOT TO HAVE ONE REALLY YEAH WELL
ITS AWFULLY AWKWARD I MEAN WHY YOU WANT TO GET IN IN TOUCH WITH SOMEONE YOU
KNOW WELL I I WALK OUT IN THE COLD AND WET ACROSS THE PARK ITS QUITE
CONVENIENT TO KEEP OUT OF THESE THINGS I THINK IN A WAY AH YES WELL AT TIMES
YES WE I WED BE LOST WITHOUT THE PHONE AND IF YOU HAVE A PARTY OR SOMETHING
AND YOUVE GOT NO PHONE YOU GET TEN PEOPLE ALL COMING AND NONE OF THEM TURN UP
WE HAD A HUGE PARTY HERE AT THE END OF LAST TERM MIDDLE OF LAST MIDDLE OF LAST
TERM BUT I CANT REMEMBER MUCH ABOUT IT BUT APPARENTLY IT WAS QUITE GOOD
WELL I MAINTAIN IF YOU CANT GET DRUNK AT YOUR OWN PARTY YOU CAN NEVER GET DRUNK
MOST PEOPLE DONT ENJOY THEIR OWN PARTIES
NO WELL THATS WHY THATS ANOTHER REASON WHY I MADE SURE THAT I WOULD YOU SPEND
YOUR TIME MUMBLING AROUND MAKING SURE EVERYBODY ELSE IS TRYING TO BE HAPPY AND
WELL YOU ARE OBVIOUSLY A VERY GOOD HOST WELL I I WAS NIPPING UP AND DOWN
THE STAIRS MOST OF THE TIME BUT I WAS QUITE HAPPY OH REALLY NOTHING I THINK
ITS VERY NICE WHATEVER YOU SAY IT LOOKS LIKE A BLOUSE LONG SLEEVES
THERE YOU ARE TAKE IT OFF EMBROIDERY ON THE END OF THE SLEEVES TOO YOU
LOOK A PROPER CHA NANCY STILL I SUPPOSE IT GIVES ONE A BIT OF CHARACTER YES ITS
SO DIFFERENT THATS THE POINT IVE GOT A SUPERB PAIR OF SHOES HAVE YOU NOT
SEEN THEM NO HOW LONG ARE THEY THEYRE NO THEYVE GOT
TOES WHICH CURL ROUND LIKE THIS OH YES WHERED PICK THEM UP I I PICKED THEM
UP IN YUGOSLAVIA AND THE TOES CAN YOU HITCH HIKE IN YUGOSLAVIA YEAH I I HITCH
HIKED TO ATHENS IN FIVE DAYS FROM LONDON CAN YOU HITCH HIKE GOLLY ITS DEAD
EASY SO YOU CAN HITCH HIKE IN YUGOSLAVIA
IF YOU CAN HITCH HIKE IN YUGOSLAVIA THAT MEANS YOU CAN HITCH HIKE HITCH HIKE
ANYWHERE ANYWHERE EXCELLENT AND WHAT ABOUT DID YOU HAVE TO HAVE HUNDREDS
OF INJECTIONS AND THINGS NO NO YOU DIDNT HAVE TO HAVE WELL YOU HAD TO HAVE
A LITTLE CERTIFICATE WHICH SHOWED THAT YOUD HAD A SMALLPOX INJECTION
BUT DID YOU GET THOSE BEFORE YOU WENT YES OH THEY DIDNT THEY DIDNT SEEM TO
BOTHER ABOUT US AT ALL WELL WELL I WASNT ASKED FOR IT I WASNT ASKED FOR IT
BUT YOU IT IT WAS THERE ON THE FORM THAT YOU HAD TO HAVE IT WHAT FORM WELL
YOU YOU DO YOU HAVE TO FILL IN HUNDREDS OF FORMS BEFORE YOU GO NO
YUGOSLAVIAN VISA YOU WRITE TO THE EMBASSY THEY ACTUALLY DONT THEY YES
THEY SEND YOU BACK A LITTLE THING TO FILL IN THREE PORTIONS YOU FILL
IT IN IN THREE BITS THEN SEND IT OFF THEY STAMP THEM THEY SEND TWO BACK TO YOU
AND KEEP ONE AND YOU GIVE ONE AS YOU ENTER THE COUNTRY AND ONE AS YOU
LEAVE THE COUNTRY YOU SEE I SEE AND HOW LONG IS THAT IS THAT A MONTH OR
THREE DAYS OR SOMETHING WELL IT VARIES ACCORDING TRANSIT VISA TO HOW MUCH
YOU PAY FOR YOUR VISA ITS LIKE SCOTLAND I MEAN SEVEN AND SIX YOU YOU CAN STAY
THERE FOR A MONTH AND ITS VALID FOR SIX MONTHS FROM THE DATE OF ISSUE AND FOR A
MONTH IN THE COUNTRY SOMETHING LIKE THIS YOU SEE YES OH WELL
ITS EASY ENOUGH ACTUALLY HITCH HIKING IN YUGOSLAVIAS A BIT DICEY YOUVE
GOT TO GET THE TECHNIQUE RIGHT I MET A FELLOW WHO RECKONED

HE COULDNT GET A LIFT AND WALKED ALL THE WAY IT HAD TAKEN HIM THIRTY NINE
DAYS TO DO IT WHATS THE TECHNIQUE STAND IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD
WELL NO YOU SEE THERE ARENT MANY CARS AND THINGS YOU MAY SIT THERE
AND YOU JUST SEE ONE CAR IN TWO
HOURS AND IT GETS PRETTY HOT WHEN YOU GET TO THE SOUTH THEY HAVE OX CARTS
AND WHAT YOU DO YOU STAND THERE AND YOU WAVE LIKE BLAZES TO MAKE SURE
THEYVE SEEN YOU YOU SEE ALL THIS SORT OF THING STAGGER OUT IN THE MIDDLE
OF THE ROAD AS THEY GO PAST THEYLL SWERVE OUT AND MISS YOU IF YOURE LUCKY
YOURE SERIOUS ACTUALLY YOU DO STAND AND WAVE YES WELL YOU KNOW YOU DONT
STAND IN THE MIDDLE BUT YOU ALSO LEAN OUT AND WAVE AT THE BLOKE SO HE CAN SEE
YOU GRIN ON YOUR FACE AND DO THE LOCALS STOP AND WHAT WILL HAPPEN
YOULL FIND HELL SLOW DOWN AND WIND DOWN HIS WINDOW PROBABLY AND AS HE DOES
SO HELL LEAN OUT AND YOU JUST SMILE AT HIM AND HE JUST LET LET OUT THE CLUTCH
AND OFF HELL GO YOU KNOW WHAT DYOU DO THEN WELL WHAT YOU GOT TO DO
YOU GOT TO YELL THE DESTINATION YOU YOU WANT TO GO TO IF YOU
WANT TO GET TO ZAHGREB AND YOURE ON THE ZAHGREB ROAD YOU ZAHGREB OR SOMETHING
AND PROVIDED YOUVE GOT THE PRONUNCIATION RIGHT AND AND THE CHAP HEARD
YOU IF HES GOING THERE HELL STOP ANY LANGUAGE DIFFICULTIES WELL JUST DONT TALK
I CANT SPEAK A WORD OF NO OBVIOUSLY
WHAT DID YOU SAY WELL ENGLISH OH WELL JUST YOU FIND A WAY OF GETTING ALONG
ITS ALL RIGHT I I SPENT TWENTY FOUR HOURS ON
A LORRY WITH TWO FELLOWS IN THE MIDDLE OF TURKEY ON THE ASIAN SIDE OF TURKEY
AND I COULDNT SPEAK A WORD OF TURKISH AND THEY COULDNT SPEAK A WORD OF
ENGLISH OR FRENCH OR GERMAN OR ANYTHING ELSE AND WE GOT ON FINE YOU KNOW
JUST SIGN LANGUAGE AND THIS SORT OF THING SPENT ALL THE TIME WITH SORT OF
RAUCOUS LAUGHTER YOU KNOW SORT OF TRYING TO SAY SOMETHING AND THEN BURSTING
INTO LAUGHTER FOR TEN MINUTES WELL MOST OF THE TIME THIS CHAP TRIED TO BUY
MY WATCH YOU KNOW HE KEPT ON POINTING AT IT AND FISHING MONEY OUT OF HIS
POCKET AND WHAT WHAT HOW MUCH WAS HE OFFERING YOU
NOT NEARLY ENOUGH YOU KNOW DID YOU FIND CURRENCY DIFFICULTIES OR WAS IT ALL
PRETTY SIMPLE REALLY WELL I THINK YOURE USED TO IT YOU YOU FIND THAT
YOURE SWIZZLED IN SHOPS UNLESS YOUVE GOT AN IDEA HOW MUCH MONEY YOU
SHOULD GET FOR YOUR CASH AMERICAN DOLLARS ARE QUITE USEFUL I SEE
HOW DID YOU ACTUALLY
GO SET ABOUT THE MONEY PROBLEM WELL I TOOK A FEW TRAVELLERS CHEQUES AND
BITS OF ODD CURRENCY YOU KNOW DIFFERENT TYPES A FEW POUND
NOTES AND A FEW DOLLARS TEN BOB NOTES ARE VIRTUALLY USELESS YES AND TOOK
THESE THINGS AROUND WITH ME AND WELL ONE DAY I DIDNT HAVE ANY FOOD FOR
TWO DAYS WHICH WAS A BIT STICKY BECAUSE I RAN OUT OF MONEY THESE SHOES I BOUGHT
ABANDON HOPE ALL YE WHO ENTER HERE FOR WHO SO FIRM THAT CANNOT BE SEDUCED
THAT WAS WRITTEN THAT WAS JEAN* AND ANN* SO IT WAS JEAN* WHO WROTE
ABANDON HOPE ALL YE WHO ENTER HERE AND THEN ANN* WROTE UNDERNEATH FOR
WHO SO FIRM THAT CANNOT BE SEDUCED THIS IS ANOTHER GOOD ONE QUOM DEUS
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WAIT A MINUTE START AT THE BEGINNING GO SLOWLY ACTUALLY
IT WAS ORIGINALLY APPARENTLY A GREEK EXPRESSION BUT IT MEANS SOMETHING LIKE
THOSE WHOM THE GODS WISH TO KILL THEY FIRST DRIVE MAD THATS A NORWEGIAN FLAG
UP THERE YOU MAY HAVE NOTICED PINCHED FROM KING OLAFS* VISIT NO PINCHED
FROM NEWCASTLE THAT WHEN THE UNIVERSITY WENT DOWN LAST YEAR TO PLAY
HOCKEY AT DURHAM IT WAS NEWCASTLE WEEK IN NORWAY SO I SHINED UP A LAMPOST
AND RETRIEVED IT GOT IT FETCHED IT WELL I DID SOMETHING ANYWAY HANGING
DESPERATELY FROM THE TOP OF A LAMPOST AND SAYING LOOK WHAT I GOT CHAPS
WHEREUPON I WAS IMMEDIATELY GIVEN A CAN OF BEER FOR MY EFFORTS OH ITS
DESPERATE WHEN WE GO TO NEWCASTLE WHAT DYOU GO FOR PLAY HOCKEY AND DRINK
I MEAN IT TAKES DRINK AND PLAY HOCKEY WE TRAVEL FOR SEVEN HOURS SIX OR
SEVEN HOURS WE PLAY HOCKEY FOR ONE HOUR AND WE DRINK FOR ABOUT FOUR HOURS
SO REALLY I MEAN YOU SAY WE GO TO TRAVEL AND FOLLOWED BY DRINK FOLLOWED
BY PLAYING HOCKEY MEAN YOU SPEND MOST OF THE TIME GETTING THERE AND BACK
AND THE DRINKS BETTER IN SCOTLAND AFTER ALL YOUR EFFORTS OH I DRINK BETTER
IN SCOTLAND DRINKS BETTER YES IT IS ACTUALLY IVE COME TO THAT CONCLUSION
ITS NICE TO GO INTO THE BAYS* AND HAVE A BITTER AT HOME BUT ITS NOT THE

SAME AS A PINT OF HEAVY ITS JUST NOT A PATCH ON HEAVY WELL HEAVYS ABSOLUTE
ITS MARVELLOUS STUFF AND MCEWANS* EXPORT IS THE BEST WELL MCEWANS* EXPORT
YES BEER IN THE WORLD WELL WE GET MCEWANS* EXPORT AT HOME DONT WE
I DONT THINK SO NO OH ILL HAVE TO TAKE A FEW SAMPLES HOME NEXT TIME WE GO
SID* BROWN* WAS WANTING SOME WAS HE WELL SELL HIM SOME AT A HIGH PRICE
YOU KNOW STOCK UP WELL GET HIM SOME OF THAT CARLSBURG* SPECIAL GET THE GET
THE REAL SCOTTISH DRINK A WEE HEAVY TAKE SOME OF THESE HOME AND FLOG THEM
OFF AT A HIGH PRICE OH HEAVY WEE HEAVYS YOU KNOW THE ONE THE PEOPLE WOULDNT
BE ACCUSTOMED TO THEM AND THEY WOULDNT LIKE THEM MAYBE WOULD THEY NOT
WOULD YOU NOT LIKE A WEE HEAVY DO YOU NOT KNOW WHAT THEY ARE I DONT GO INTO
PUBS THEYRE LIKE BROWN WELL YOU KNOW YOU HAVENT LIVED HAVE I NOT NEWCASTLE
BROWNS A PRETTY GOOD DRINK IF YOU DONT GO INTO PUBS YOURE OBVIOUSLY FIRST
YEAR OBVIOUSLY YOU WAIT TILL YOU GET TO THIRD YEAR AND YOU GO OUT FOR A PINT
BETWEEN EVERY LECTURE OH ILL NOT DO THE GIRLS DO THAT NO PERHAPS MANY OF THE
GIRLS DRINK THOUGH OH MOST GIRLS DRINK YES IM NOT VERY TAKEN IN MODERATION
ITS OK THE TROUBLE IS SAME WITH MOST THINGS ISNT IT ITS GOOD STUFF
HOWEVER ITS FINE IN SPASM ALL EVENING MORALS BUT YOU NEVER DO THAT
DO ALL YOU MEDICS TRY AND LIVE UP TO YOUR REPUTATION LET ME SEE THEY DONT
HAVE TO TRY NO I KNOW BUT COMES NATURALLY DOES IT I MEAN AT THE FRESHERS
CONFERENCE ITS IMPRESSED UPON YOU THAT MEDICS ARE DRUNKEN I MEAN SURELY
THATLL HELP YOU ON YOUR WAY WELL IM SURE YOULL FIND THAT THERE ARE JUST AS
MANY SCIENTISTS WELL NOT SO MANY SCIENTISTS NO SCIENTISTS ARE A STALE LOT
WELL I TEND TO AGREE THERE BUT THEY STILL GET DRUNK AND ARE I SUPPOSE THAT
MEDICS DO BECAUSE WELL THEYRE NEARER FOR A START JUST ROUND THE CORNER
FROM THEM NO THE POINT IS THIS THAT THE AVERAGE MEDICAL STUDENT CONSUMES
ABOUT TWICE AS MUCH BEER AS THE AVERAGE ANY OTHER STUDENT IN HIS
UNIVERSITY BECAUSE HES HERE TWICE AS LONG YOU SEE SO ITS PROBABLY ORIGINATED
LIKE THAT OH BUT THERE THEY VARY
SUCH A LOT YOU CANT I MEAN THERE ARE THOUSANDS PROBABLY OF MEDICAL STUDENTS
AND YOU CANT MAKE GENERALISATION LIKE THAT I MEAN PROBABLY A THOUSAND OR
TWELVE HUNDRED CHRIS* IS THE MOST SOBER OF MEDICAL STUDENTS MY FLAT MATE
WHEREAS MACDONALD* HERE HAS BEEN DOING IT FOR FIVE OR SIX WEEKS AND HE
GETS CANNED AT THE UNION EVERY NIGHT UNTIL HE CANT SPEAK THATS DISGUSTING
NO THAT ISNT TRUE WHATS DISGUSTING HAVE YOU EVER BEEN TO THE UNION ON A SATURDAY
NIGHT IVE BEEN YES IVE BEEN TO THE UNION OFTEN
HAVE YOU WELL IN THAT CASE YOU PROBABLY KNOW WHY WE GET CANNED AS NEWTS
ON SATURDAY NIGHT NO YOU THATS AN UNFAIR STATEMENT OH IM SORRY MACDONALD* NO
I DONT GET CANNED LOOK MATE IF YOU GO AND YOU ASK A WOMAN TO DANCE
AND YOU SAY WHAT DO YOU DO WHAT DOES YOU DO OH I KNOW AND SHE SAYS WELL IM
AT SCHOOL AND WHEN I FINISH I WANT TO BE A HAIRDRESSER AND YOU IMMEDIATELY
CHARGE DOWN AND HAVE A DOUBLE WHISKEY OH MY GOD THATS NOT THE TYPE YOU GET
THERE ARE THERE A LOT OF SCHOOLGIRLS THERE WELL THERE FORTUNATELY
THERE ARE MORE UNIVERSITY WOMEN GOING AND IN MY OPINION
THE MORE THEY GO THE BETTER IT IS YES A LOT OF ATHOLL* CRESCENT GO THERE TOO NOT
SO MANY NOW MOST OF THEM ARE TYPE ACTUALLY YOU DONT GET ALL THAT MANY IN THE
UNIVERSITY WHO GO THERE ITS MORE MAINLY PEOPLE FROM SKERRYS* AND TYPING
SCHOOLS AND ON A SATURDAY OR AND ALL THE TIME MISS SOMETHINGS SCHOOL FOR YOUNG
LADIES YES ITS DEADLY ITS GOOD FOR A LAUGH ITS GOOD FOR A LAUGH YES AND GOOD
FOR A DOUBLE DYOU NEVER GO ON SATURDAY NIGHTS TO THE UNION YOU DONT KNOW WHAT
YOURE MISSING I THINK ILL GO ON SATURDAY NIGHT THIS WEEK DONT FANCY IT
PARTICULARLY OH ITLL BE A DRUNKEN ORGY I SHOULD THINK THIS WEEKS USELESS
BECAUSE OF THE INTERNATIONAL AH BUT I KNOW SOMEONE WHOS OFF HIS DRINK
DOUBT HE WONT BE AT THE UNION SEE ALL MY FRIENDS DYOU HAVE A COMMON ROOM
IN THE NEW QUAD NO WE HAVE A MEDICAL READING ROOM WHICH IS IN THE YES BUT
DO YOU NOT HAVE ANYTHING ANY COMMON ROOM LIKE PLACE WHERE YOU CAN GET COFFEE
AND THINGS MENS UNION YOUVE TO GO ACROSS TO BARBEQUE* IS IT OR THE MENS
UNION ACTUALLY I GO TO THE REFECTORY NOW DO YOU ITS A NICE PLACE ACTUALLY
THE REFECTORY I THINK ITS LOUSY WE GO IN THERE EVERY DAY AND QUEUE FOR
OH WELL WELL THATS FUNNY ITS NOT TOO BAD NOW BECAUSE IVE NEVER SEEN YOU IN
THE REFECTORY AT ALL AND IM IN THERE EVERY DAY SO ARE WE DIFFERENT TIMES

POSSIBLY ONE OCLOCK TILL TWO OURS IS HALF PAST TWELVE WELL WE GET I FINISH
MY LECTURE AT HALF PAST TWELVE BUT YOURE OUT AT KB AT HALF TWELVE AND YOU COME
IN TO THE REFECTORY WELL ITS ABOUT TEN TO ONE BY THE TIME YOURE IN YES TEN
QUARTER TO ONE FINISH EARLY ABOUT TWENTY FIVE PAST AND THERES A SPECIAL BUS
COMES YOURE HONOURED THESE MEDICAL STUDENTS HAVE IT ALL DONT THEY JUST
AND WEVE TO FIGHT TOOTH AND NAIL TO GET OUT EVERYTHING DONE FOR THEM BUSES
I DONT KNOW THEYRE A BIT EXPENSIVE BUT YOU USUALLY FIND YOU CAN GET ONE
PRETTY SOON NOT US I MISS CAR IVE HAD THREE CARS AT UNIVERSITY AND THIS
IS THE FIRST FULL TERM I WILL HAVE GONE WITHOUT A CAR AND ITS HORRIBLE
THINKING OF BUYING A SCOOTER SOMETIME DYOU NOT FIND THE INSURANCE FOR
SCOOTER NO ITS ONLY FOR ANYTHING ABOUT WELL FOR A SCOOTER ITS ONLY ABOUT
TWO THREE POUNDS OH THATS NOT SO BAD THE ANSWER TO YOUR QUESTION IS YES WELL IT
ALL DEPENDS WHAT YOURE DRIVING IF YOU DRIVE SOMETHING LIKE AN E TYPE JAGUAR
ITLL BE ABOUT IF YOU DRIVE WHAT IM IN THE HABIT OF DRIVING OH BOY BUT JUST
LOOK AT EVERYTHING THATLL BE AT YOUR FEET THE TWO CARS IF YOU HAVE AN
E TYPE JAG THE TWO CARS IVE HAD I PAID TWENTY QUID A YEAR FOR INSURANCE
THIRD PARTY ONLY ONE WAS A JAGUAR AND THE OTHER A WOLSELEY THE ONLY
THING IS THEY JUST DONT TRUST STUDENTS TO BE GOOD DRIVERS ITS NOT A CASE OF
TRUSTING THEM AT ALL ITS A CASE OF IN THEIR EXPERIENCE THEY FIND STUDENTS TO
BE THE BIGGEST RISK AND THEREFORE THEY HAVE TO CHARGE IN SUCH A WAY THAT THEY
DONT MAKE A LOSS PERFECTLY LOGICAL REALLY NO WONDER
ALL THESE DRUNKEN CREATURES IVE GOT A THING ABOUT DRINK WHO WOULDNT THATS GREAT
STUFF YOU LIKE A PINT OF GIN BEFORE YOU GO HAVE YOU GOT ONE NO I HAVENT IVE
DECIDED AGAINST KEEPING BOOZE IN THE HOUSE BECAUSE IT GOES TOO QUICKLY I MEAN I
DID THIS OVER NEW YEAR AND I GOT THROUGH ABOUT SIX POUNDS WORTH OF DRINK
SIX POUNDS HERE THATS WHERE WE CAN SAVE MONEY IN WHAT WAY WE CANT DRINK WE DONT
DRINK AND WE DONT SMOKE AND WE SPEND ALL OUR MONEY ON CLOTHES WE DO SPEND
ALL OUR MONEY ON CLOTHES I KNOW AND WHAT AN EXCUSE FOR HAVING TO SPEND
OUR MONEY SOMEHOW I WISH I COULD SAVE MINE ITS IMPOSSIBLE TO SAVE MONEY
THATS MY LAMENT YES UNLESS YOU NEVER GO OUT AND ARE VERY STRONG WILLED
OH ITS NOT SO BAD FOR WOMEN YOU KNOW ITS IS IT NOT US POOR BLOKES THAT SUFFER
ITS POOR BLOKES LIKE ME THAT GETS PERSUADED TO TAKE SOME WOMAN TO THE WHAT
DYOU CALL IT BALL AT TWO GUINEAS A TICKET AND A QUID FOR DRINK AND A QUID FOR
TAXIS THEYRE VERY LUCKY THAT CAN PERSUADE YOU THEYRE LUCKY THEY CAN
PERSUADE YOU IM IN WITH THE WRONG SET WELL SHE DIDNT PERSUADE ME IT WAS
SOMEONE ELSE PERSUADED ME TO BUY A TICKET IM STILL NOT SURE WHETHER ITS THE
THING TO DO TO ACCEPT A QUID FROM THE GIRL TOWARDS THE TICKET I SEE NO REASON
WHY NOT NO NOT FOR NOT IF THE TICKETS ARE TWO QUID TWO GUINEAS AND SHE
SAYS SHELL PAY HALF YOU THINK THATS REASONABLE DO YOU ID GET THE EXTRA
SHILLING OFF HER OH YOU WOULDNT OH MEDICS HONESTLY THEYRE WORTH EVERY INCH
OF THEIR REPUTATIONS IF A BLOKE WERE TAKING YOU TO A BALL AND YOU OFFERED
TO PAY I SUPPOSE ID BETTER OFFER EH NO AND YOU OFFERED TO PAY HALF OF A
TICKET YOU DONT THINK THERES ANYTHING WRONG WITH THE BOY TO ACCEPT IT HALF
OF YOUR ONE TICKET NO NO YOU OFFERED TO PAY BUT YOURE NOT A STUDENT WELL I HAVE
GOT YOURE EARNING ARE YOU YOU SHOULD BE EARNING MY INCOME IS NOT NO LARGER
REALLY THAN ANYBODY WHOS ON A GRANT WELL I THINK IT WOULD BE ALL RIGHT TO ACCEPT
THE MONEY YES I THINK SO BECAUSE IT COST PLENTY OF MONEY IN DRINKS I MEAN
I CAN JUST SAY WELL I CAN GET ALL OF THE DRINK YES IF SHE DRINKS DOES SHE DRINK
WELL I DONT KNOW BUT DAMN IT ALL IF I TAKE A WOMAN TO A BALL
AND SHE STARTS DRINKING VODKA AND LIME AH BUT LOOK THATS WHAT THEY DO ORANGE
JUICE JUST THINK IF THEYVE GOT TO GO OUT AND BUY DANCE DRESSES AND THINGS
IF ITS A FORMAL NOT IF ITS A THIRD YEAR NO NOT IF ITS A THIRD YEAR YES THEY
HAVE AFTER THIRD YEAR THEY JEALOUSY GETS YOU NOWHERE THIRD YEAR
CHEMISTRY SOME PEOPLE MAKE IT VERY FEW DANCE DRESSES ARE PRETTY
EXPENSIVE I WOULDNT BUY ONE OR WHAT

FOUND SOME THEY MADE SOME MINOR DISCOVERIES I DONT THINK THEY EVER KNEW ANYTHING
ABOUT TUTANKHAMEN AT ALL NO NO NOT AT ALL IT WAS COMPLETELY UNKNOWN IT WAS
ONLY WHEN THEY WERE THEY WERE LOOKING FOR ANOTHER TOMB I THINK AND HE WALKED
DOWN AND AS THEY CLEARED A WAY IN THE VALLEY OF THE KINGS THEY SUDDENLY SAW

THESE STEPS IT WAS MOST DRAMATIC GOING DOWN AND THEY CLEARED A BIT OF THE
FACING OF THE ROCK AND SAW A ROYAL SEAL SO THEY KNEW THAT THEY WERE ON TO
SOMETHING YOU KNOW AND THEN BIT BY BIT THEY OPENED IT THEY GOT TO THAT
DOORWAY AND THEN THEY GOT TO ANOTHER DOORWAY AND THEN ON THIS FAMOUS DAY
THEY OPENED IT YES AND THE TOMB WAS THE ONLY ONE THAT WASNT TOUCHED
YES SINCE IT WAS IT WAS COMPLETELY ABSOLUTELY COMPLETE THE WHOLE TREASURE
AND WHY WAS IT THAT IT TOOK SO LONG TO GET THE TREASURES OUT WELL I
SUPPOSE BECAUSE I DONT KNOW DONT THESE THINGS WHEN THEYVE BEEN A LONG TIME
LIKE THAT TEND TO DISINTEGRATE OH I SEE THEY HAVE TO BE CONDITIONED TO
THE AIR I THINK THEY DO RATHER IF YOU HANDLE THEM YES NOT NOT SO MUCH
I MEAN THE GOLDEN THINGS THEY DONT THEY DONT DISINTEGRATE AT ALL NO BUT THERE
WERE SO MANY THINGS AND SO DELICATE I MEAN TINY THINGS I MEAN IF YOU GO TO THE
MUSEUM YOU HAVE HUNDREDS OF BOXES GLASS BOXES WITH HUNDREDS OF TINY LITTLE
THINGS REALLY YES I MEAN ALL KINDS OF THINGS THAT YOU THINK ARE MODERN MMMM
FOR INSTANCE COSMETICS AND WHAT NEFERTITI* QUEEN NEFERTITI* USED EAR RINGS
YES SLIPPERS AND THAT SORT OF THING HUNDREDS ABSOLUTELY HUNDREDS OF THESE
LITTLE THINGS FANTASTIC TO KEEP HER GOING I SUPPOSE FOR HUNDREDS OF YEARS
AND THE EXTRAORDINARY THING TOO IF YOU TRY LOOKING AT THOSE PHOTOS IS THAT
THEY WERE ALL JUMBLED IN ANYHOW THERE WAS NO ATTEMPT MADE TO SET AT LEAST
THINGS OUT THEY WERE JUST PILED IN REALLY WERENT THEY AFAF* IN THE TOMB IN THE
TOMB JUST HIGGLEDY PIGGLEDY THROWN HOW STRANGE NOT  EXACTLY THROWN IN BUT
PILED UP OBVIOUSLY AND NOT YOUD THINK THAT THERE WOULDVE BEEN MORE RITUAL AND
CEREMONY ATTACHED TO YES ACTUALLY ADORNING THE TOMB IVE NEVER HAD THE COURAGE
TO GO INTO THE MUMMIES ROOM IN CAIRO MUSEUM OF ANTIQUITIES THERES A SPECIAL
ROOM IS THERE WITH MUMMIES IN IT YES ITS PART OF THE MUSEUM BUT YOU HAVE TO PAY
FOR IT ESPECIALLY AS NOT EVERYBODY WANTS TO GO IN AND IVE NEVER HAD THE COURAGE
WAS TUTANKHAMEN MUMMIFIED WELL THATS HIS MUMMIFIED HEAD IT LOOKS HORRIBLE DOESNT
IT OH IT DOES YES OH HE WAS FOUND HE WAS THERE GOODNESS LOOK AT THAT GOSH HE
LOOKS THERE AN INCREDIBLY OLD MAN DOESNT HE BUT IN FACT HE WAS VERY YOUNG YES HE
WAS A BOY KING WAS HE CURIOUS THIS SHAPE THATS SOME SORT OF HEAD GEAR HES GOT IT
ISNT ACTUALLY THE SHAPE OF HIS HEAD IS IT IT MIGHTVE BEEN MIGHTVE BEEN SORT OF
EXAGGERATED BY THE EMACIATED NECK WELL IT WAS ONLY ROYALTY AND PEOPLE I MEAN IT
MUSTVE BEEN A VERY COSTLY BUSINESS I SUPPOSE TO BE MUMMIFIED IS IT ONLY FOR
ROYALTY PEOPLE OF GREAT IMPORTANCE ORDINARY PEOPLE WOULDNT HAVE HAD THIS
I THINK THEY MUMMIFIED ALL OF THEM OH DID THEY YES I THINK SO BUT THESE PEOPLE
WERE DISCOVERED I MEAN NOT OF COURSE IN THE SAME WAY AS KINGS AND QUEENS NO
MORE CARE ON THE KINGS AND QUEENS YES AND WHAT WAS THE IDEA THAT THEY SHOULD
IT WAS TO PRESERVE THEM FOR RESURRECTION YES THEY THOUGHT THAT THERES ANOTHER
WORLD AFTER DEATH AND BECAUSE BECAUSE OF THIS FACT THEY HAVE TO PREPARE
THEMSELVES FOR THAT OTHER WORLD SO WHENEVER ANYBODY DIED THEY SORT OF
MUMMIFIED THAT PERSON IN ORDER TO KEEP HIM IN SHAPE SO THAT WHEN HE WAKES
UP AGAIN IN THE OTHER WORLD HE LOOKS ALL RIGHT AND HE FINDS ALL HIS THINGS
THAT HE USED IN THE LAST WORLD YES SORT OF ROUND HIM SO HE DOESNT HAVE TO
WORRY AND START LOOKING FOR THINGS AGAIN IT LOOKS SO HIGGLEDY PIGGLEDY THAT HED
HAVE SOME TIME IN FINDING HIS FAVOURITE PAIR OF SHOES ONLY BUT HIS WIFE AND
SO ON WERE THEY WHAT HAPPENED TO THEM THEY WERE ALLOWED TO LIVE YES
OR WERE THEY PUT IN THE TOMB AFTERWARDS OR NO NO I MEAN BUT WHEN THEY DIED I
THINK THEY WERE PUT IN THE SAME TOMB IT WAS OPENED UP AGAIN AND THEY WERE PUT IN
THE FAMILY YES I MEAN THE FAMILY WAS SORT OF THE HUSBAND AND WIFE
AND THE CHILDREN TOGETHER AND THAT SORT OF THING MMMM LOOK AT THAT DOG
ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUS HEAD OF A FUNERAL COUCH IN THE FORM OF THE HIPPOPOTAMUS
GODDESS MMMM IS THAT GOLD YES YES ABSOLUTELY FABULOUS WHERE DID THE GOLD COME
FROM I MEAN IS THE GOLD WERE THERE GOLD MINES ACTUALLY IN EGYPT OR DID THEY
COME UP FROM FURTHER SOUTH OR WHAT I DONT KNOW BECAUSE THERE WAS A LOT OF GOLD
WASNT THERE THERE SEEMS TO BE SO MANY THINGS IN GOLD THERE ARE A FEW NOT A FEW
I MEAN VERY LITTLE GOLD IN THE EASTERN DESERT BUT I DONT THINK THEY KNEW ABOUT
IT IN THOSE DAYS NO I DONT KNOW WHERE THEY GOT IT FROM THATS LOVELY BUT THEY
WERE VERY RICH VERY RICH MMMM INDEED AND TO THINK OF THIS TREMENDOUS
CIVILIZATION WHEN THERE WAS NOTHING HERE GOSH ISNT THAT WONDERFUL ISNT THAT
LOVELY THATS ABSOLUTELY TERRIFIC THOUGH MMMM LOVELY BLUE NOSE ITS RATHER

THE DELICACY THE MOULDING THERE AND THERE DO HAVE A LOOK AT IT I ABSOLUTELY
WONDERFUL WHAT A WONDERFUL BOOK ISNT IT LOVELY MARVELLOUS PRESENT DIDNT THEY
HAVE AN EXHIBITION IN LONDON OF YES THEY DID LAST SUMMER
OF WHAT YES SOMETHING ABOUT ANTIQUITIES YES I REMEMBER I REMEMBER VAGUELY GOING
TO IT BUT ITS A VERY VAGUE RECOLLECTION I DONT KNOW WHY IT SHOULD BE DO
YOU THINK AFAF* THAT ALL THESE TREASURES  THATVE BEEN DISTRIBUTED AND
ARE NOW IN OTHER COUNTRIES SHOULD GO BACK TO EGYPT NOT REALLY NO I OFTEN
WONDER ABOUT THIS WHEN I CAME TO THE BRITISH WHEN I SAW THE THINGS IN THE
BRITISH COUNCIL I WAS AMAZED THE BRITISH WHAT THE BRITISH MUSEUM
THE BRITISH COUNCIL THE BRITISH MUSEUM YES I COULDNT IMAGINE HOW THEY
COULD SORT OF TAKE ALL THESE THINGS AND BRING THEM TO THIS COUNTRY YES WELL
THEY JUST WENT OUT THERE IT WOULD NEVER HAPPEN NOW OF COURSE WOULD IT THE
THE ELGIN MARBLES ALWAYS SEEMS TO BE RATHER TERRIBLE YES THATS I THINK SO TOO
I THINK I DO THINK SO IN A WAY AND PARTICULARLY WHEN PEOPLE DONT HONESTLY GO
GO AND SEE IT I MUST CONFESS THAT IVE HARDLY EVER BEEN TO THE BRITISH MUSEUM
IVE NEVER BEEN INSIDE IT IVE NEVER DARKENED THE DOOR I FEEL AWFUL ABOUT IT
ITS NOT A VERY ATTRACTIVE OR MUSEUM I MEAN WHEN YOU GO THERE
IT TAKES AN AWFUL LONG WHILE TO WORK OUT WHERE THINGS ARE YES I MEAN YOU KNOW
YOURE NOT ENCOURAGED TO LOOK AT IT WHEN YOU GO THERE YOURE NOT ENCOURAGED EVEN
TO GO THERE ARE YOU ITS NOT IVE NEVER BEEN TO THE BRITISH MUSEUM SINCE
I CAME TO LONDON IVE NEVER BEEN IN THATS AN AWFUL THING TO ADMIT WELL I
HAVE I MUST GO WELL MAKE AN EXPEDITION TOGETHER SHALL WE HAND IN HAND
THIS IS RATHER FASCINATING THESE THESE THESE WALLED DRAWINGS OR
WHATEVER THEY ARE ARE THEY UNFINISHED OR ARE THEY SIMPLY MEANT TO BE AS IT
WERE IMPRESSIONISTIC OR HAVE THEY GOT OBLITERATED I HAVENT READ THE TEXT SO I
DONT KNOW I SUPPOSE THEY GOT OBLITERATED AND THESE ARE JUST SORT OF
PICTURES FROM THEM THIS NO WHATS THAT CARVING ON STONE OR IS IT PAINTINGS
IT SAYS SIMPLY A SCENE OF GRIEF IN THE PALACE HERE WE ARE DOESNT IT SAY THIS
MOURNING THERE ARE TWO MOURNINGS OVER THE MMMM THE BODY OF THE LITTLE THEYRE
RELIEFS I SUPPOSE THEYRE MORE LIKE FRESCOES DO YOU THINK SUGGESTING THAT SHE
DIED IN CHILDBIRTH WHAT I THINK IS SO FASCINATING IS THE WAY CIVILIZATIONS
YES AT THAT TIME SO RICH AND POWERFUL AND SUCH SPLENDOUR AND MAJESTY AND NOW
IT ISNT YOU KNOW I SUPPOSE ITLL RETURN AGAIN PERHAPS NOT I OFTEN WISH I LIVED
IN THOSE YOU KNOW AGES OF THE PHAEROS BUT NOT TO BE ONE OF THE
COMMON PEOPLE ITS SAD ISNT IT YES YOULL HAVE TO BE BORN INTO THE RIGHT FAMILY
THEN IT WOULDVE BEEN SPLENDID YES I MEAN THE COMMON PEOPLE IN THOSE DAYS
SUFFERED A LOT BUT PEOPLE WHO SORT OF OF WEALTH OF HIGH BIRTH THEY REALLY
ENJOYED LIFE I THINK MUCH MORE THAN PEOPLE NOWADAYS ENJOY THEIR LIVES
DO YOU THINK THEY DID OH YES THEY HAD NO PROBLEMS OF CONSCIENCE NO THEY HAD NO
FEELINGS OF GUILT THEY WERE LIKE GODS ON EARTH WERENT THEY REALLY YES YES AND
THEY DID JUST EVERYTHING THEY WANTED TO DO BECAUSE THEY HAD THE MEANS TO DO IT
AND NO SOCIAL CONSCIENCE THAT ONE KNOWS OF BUT ITS FUNNY THAT EVEN AT THOSE
AGES THEY STILL THOUGHT OF RELIGION THEY THOUGHT OF GODS AND WORSHIPPING GODS
YES AND OF ANOTHER LIFE AND THAT SORT OF THING THEY WERENT ENTIRELY
MATERIALISTIC YOU MEAN WHERE THEY MIGHT WELL HAVE BEEN BECASE THEY HAD SO
MUCH WEALTH YES WELL THERE WERE SO MANY THINGS THEN THAT THEY HAD TO ACCOUNT
FOR AND THERE WERE WONDERFUL HAPPENINGS AND POWERS OVER WHICH EVEN THOUGH THEY
HAD SO MUCH WEALTH THEY WERE THINGS ON WHICH THEY HAD NO CONROL AS THERE ARE
NOW I SUPPOSE WELL FASCINATING BOOK I MUST LOOK AT IT AGAIN ISNT IT LOVELY
AS I WAS SAYING HERE BEGINNETH THE SECOND LESSON THERES A CLASH OF
PERSONALITIES WELL TRY AGAIN DO YOU REALLY THINK SO YES WELL IF YOU ASK ME
TO   TELL YOU ABOUT BEING ILL I  MUST  SAY I  CAN  THINK  OF MANY  PLEASANTER
SUBJECTS NO BUT MMMM SERIOUSLY THOUGH IN IN CONNECTION WITH WHAT WE WERE
TALKING ABOUT BEFORE SORRY APHASIA AND SO ON SURELY THERE WAS SOME SORT OF
CONNECTION WASNT THERE BETWEEN WHAT WE WERE SAYING ON APHASIA AND YOUR
DEAFNESS WASNT THERE ANY CONNECTION BETWEEN YOUR APHASIA AND YOUR DEAFNESS
OH NO I HAD AN INFECTION OF THE EARS THAT MADE ME STONE DEAF FOR SOME TIME
WHEN WAS THIS AND THEN I WAS VERY LUCKY AND IT ALL CLEARED UP IT DOESNT
USUALLY A LONG TIME AGO MASTOID NO BUT SOMETHING RATHER LIKE THAT WAS IT
I HAD THE SAME INFECTION SO REPEATEDLY BUT IT WAS TOO MUCH FOR MY EAR DRUMS

BUT TELL ME HAVENT YOU HAD ANY INTERESTING ILLNESSES NO NO SERIOUSLY WE
WE MUST EXPLORE THIS IN RATHER MORE DETAIL OH WAS THIS BEFORE YOUR MENINGITIS
OR AFTER NOW LET ME SEE I HAD NO MINOR ILLNESSES THOSE WERE TWO MAJOR ONES
YES I WAS DEAF BEFORE I HAD MENINGITIS YOU KNOW SHES NOT LISTENING TO THE
QUESTION I AM NOT  JUST BEING DIFFICULT  I REALLY DONT ENJOY TALKING ABOUT
ILLNESSES I AM INTERESTED IN APHASIA THATS WHY I BROUGHT OUT MY EXPERIENCE
OF IT THE OTHER DAY I THINK ITS FASCINATING AND ITS SOMETHING WHICH IF YOU
HAVENT EXPERIENCED I DONT THINK YOU CAN IMAGINE YOU SAY YOU WERE ABROAD WHEN YOU
WERE FIRST TAKEN ILL WAS THIS IN NIGERIA OH NO NO LONG LONG AGO IF ID HAD
MENINGITIS IN NIGERIA I SHOULDNT BE WELL MENTALLY ON MY FEET WELL THIS IS
THE USUAL PLACE TO GET IT IS IT WHY IS THAT I WAS IN THE MIDDLE OF AN
EPIDEMIC OF MENINGITIS WHICH STARTED IN NINETEEN SIXTY ONE THE LATEST ONE AND
THEY HAVE IN FACT BEEN HAVING PERIODIC EPIDEMICS SINCE NINETEEN TWENTY SEVEN
YES I HEARD IT WAS VERY BAD I PRESUMED ONE CANT GET IT TWICE SO I DIDNT
WORRY ABOUT IT FOR MYSELF BUT I WONDERED WHY THEYVE HAD IT THOUGH ITS WELL
ITS IN FACT NOT EVEN EPIDEMIC ITS ENDEMIC YES IN WEST AFRICA YES I HEARD
PARTICULARLY IN THE SAVANNA AREA OF NIGERIA AND THE VOLTA NOW IS IT THE
SAME IN GHANA BECAUSE THEYVE GOT THE SAME SORT OF GEOGRAPHICAL CONDITIONS
SURELY MMMM ONLY UP IN THE NORTH AROUND THE VOLTA RIVER THEY DONT GET
IT MUCH DOWN SOUTH MMMM AND YET YOU KNOW I NEVER SAW A CASE OF IT OR
HEARD A CASE OF IT THE YEAR BEFORE I WENT TO BIDA THEY HAD TWENTY SEVEN
DEATHS IN BIDA ALONE WHICH IS A SMALL TOWN FROM MENINGITIS FROM MENINGITIS
AND THEYD HAD A HUNDRED THE PREVIOUS YEAR THAT WOULDVE BEEN IN SIXTY TWO
AND SIXTY ONE RESPECTIVELY WELL HOW HOW IS IT PASSED ON THEN FROM ONE PERSON
TO ANOTHER THEY DONT KNOW ITS PRESUMABLY INFECTIOUS IN SOME WAY YES YES
BUT THEY DONT KNOW EXACTLY HOW UNLESS THEYVE DISCOVERED IT QUITE RECENTLY
YES THERE WAS SOMETHING IN THE SCIENCE SURVEY OF NINETEEN SIXTY THREE ABOUT
IT BY WADDY* WHOS AT ROSS INSTITUTE I CANT REMEMBER NOW THEY HAVE DISCOVERED
ONE WAY ITS PASSED ON BUT NOT ALL WAYS AND WADDY* SAYS THERE IS IN FACT
SOME DEFINITE CLUE TO THAT MMMM AND THEY HAVE IN FACT NOW GOT PROPHYLACTIC
MEASURES BUT I DONT KNOW HOW FAR ITS BEEN TAKEN MMMM WELL I HAD IT IN PRAGUE
AND THE SMALL SON OF ONE OF THE EMBASSY OFFICIALS GOT IT FIRST AND THEN THE
DAUGHTER GROWN UP DAUGHTER OF ONE OF THE EMBASSY OFFICIALS AND THEN I GOT IT
AND WE WERE ALL OUT OF ACTION FOR MONTHS IF NOT YEARS BUT THEY DIDNT KNOW
THEN HOW IT WAS PASSED ON AT ALL HOW HOW WERE YOU IN THE EMBASSY IS THIS THE
BRITISH EMBASSY IN PRAGUE OR NO I WASNT IN THE EMBASSY I HAD A JOB IN THE
BRITISH COUNCIL THERE OH I SEE BUT FOOD WAS VERY DIFFICULT AND SO WE HAD AN
EMBASSY MESS AS IT WAS CALLED TO EAT IN SO I SUPPOSE WE WERE ALL RUBBING
SHOULDERS OR AT LEAST THE BOYS PARENTS WERE THERE THOUGH THE CHILDREN DIDNT
USUALLY GO THERE PROBABLY PASSED ON LIKE PNEUMONIC PLAGUE PROBABLY ITS LIKE
POLIO MNEMONIC PLAGUE YOU MEAN THATS RATHER GOOD IM SORRY I DIDNT MEAN TO
SOUND SURPRISED THAT YOU SHOULD MAKE A GOOD JOKE YOURE LOOKING AT THAT TAPE
RECORDER YOU KNOW WHICH IS NAUGHTY ISNT IT IM NOT NO NO NO NOT YOU IM NOT YOU
ARE IM SURE YOU ARE YOURE ALLOWING YOURSELF TO BE FASCINATED BY THOSE LITTLE
SPOOLS BELIEVE ME TURNING ROUND IN THE OPPOSITE DIRECTION NO THE SAME NO NO
THE SAME DIRECTION THERE ARE THINGS THAT FASCINATE ME BUT THE TURNING OF THE
TAPE RECORDER SPOOLS ARE NOT AMONG THEM AH BUT THIS IS HYPNOSIS NOT
FASCINATION DEFINE YOUR TERMS CERTAINLY NOT OH NO NO PLEASE NOT AT THIS HOUR
THAT WAS ALMOST A LAPSE INTO SOME KIND IT WAS QUITE A LAPSE IT WAS INTO
STANDARD GENERAL AMERICAN OR NON STANDARD ERASE THAT SENTENCE DEFINE YOUR
TERMS START AGAIN GOING BACK TO THIS PRAGUE BUSINESS THOUGH AND YOUR
CONNECTION WITH THE EMBASSY OH NO I HAD NO CONNECTION WITH THE EMBASSY
IM SORRY THIS IS JUST PROOF AGAIN THAT I WASNT LISTENING TO WHAT YOU
WERE SAYING TELL ME HAVENT YOU HAD ANY INTERESTING ILLNESSES WHY IS EVERYONE
TRYING TO PASS THE BUCK TO EVERYONE ELSE IM NOT TRYING TO PASS THE BUCK IM
BUSY NOT INTERRUPTING OH I SEE SERIOUSLY THOUGH I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW HOW
OLD YOU WERE AT THE TIME WHEN YOU HAD MENINGITIS WELL I WONDER WHY THIS THIS
IS SURELY NOT A TERRIBLY PERSONAL QUESTION OH NO AND IN ANY CASE I DONT MIND
PERSONAL QUESTIONS IF I DESCRIBED SOME OF THE PERSONAL QUESTIONS IVE BEEN
ASKED IT REALLY WOULD BE AMUSING BUT ERASE IT  NOT

AMUSING DIDNT YOU SAY WHEN WE WERE HAVING TEA THAT YOU HAD MENINGITIS
AT THE AGE OF ABOUT SEVENTEEN NO THAT WAS NEILS* JOKE OH I SEE SORRY I MUST
LEARN TO SEPARATE THE JOKES FROM THE TRUTH I DONT MIND PERSONAL QUESTIONS
AT ALL BUT IM A BIT ALLERGIC TO DISCUSSING ILLNESSES WHY WELL MY OWN I IF ITS
SOMETHING IVE SEEN SOMETHING OF PEOPLE WHO WHOSE ILLNESSES ARE THE GREAT
EVENTS IN THEIR LIFE AND THEY GO ABOUT OH I SEE WHAT YOU MEAN DESCRIBING AND
DISCUSSING THEM AND I DID HAVE TWO VERY BAD ILLNESSES AND I DONT WANT TO TURN
INTO THE SORT OF PERSON THAT BRINGS THEM OUT AS AFTERNOON TEA CONVERSATION
WELL I DONT THINK THERES ANY DANGER IN YOUR CASE
BECAUSE YOUVE OBVIOUSLY DONE OTHER THINGS IN LIFE BESIDES HAVE ILLNESSES
OH DEAR ACTUALLY I SPENT MOST OF LAST YEAR BEING ILL IN ONE WAY OR ANOTHER
DO TELL US ABOUT I WAS BITTEN BY A SNAKE
OOH WHAT SORT WELL I DONT KNOW EXACTLY BUT IT MADE A VERY DEEP HOLE IN MY
FOOT AND THE ANTIVENENE MADE ME VERY ILL INDEED IN FACT IVE HEARD SINCE OF
SOMEBODY DYING FROM ANTIVENENE NOT FROM THE SNAKES POISON WELL ITS A SERUM
ALLERGY ISNT IT ITS USUALLY A HORSE SERUM ALLERGY YES THATS RIGHT IT WAS A
HORSE SERUM ALLERGY YES IVE GOT THAT TOO DONT BE BITTEN BY A SNAKE THEN
YOUVE GOT IT HOW DO YOU KNOW YOUVE GOT IT AS A RESULT OF CONTRACTING
TETANUS BY BEING INJECTED AGAINST TETANUS YOU HAD TETANUS YES AND WHAT
HAPPENED THEN OH I WENT RIGID FOR THIRTY SIX HOURS AND THEN FORTUNATELY THE
EFFECT PASSED OFF SO THAT WASNT LONG ENOUGH TO MEAN THAT YOU STARVED NO
THE DANGER ISNT USUALLY STARVATION ITS IT ATTACKS THE RESPIRATORY SYSTEM
AND WHEN THAT HAPPENS YOU NO LONGER BREATHE AND THEREFORE DIE IN A FEW MINUTES
LIKE THE EFFECT OF A BITE OF A MAMBA YOU JUST HAVE TIME TO SAY GOODBYE I
HAVENT BEEN BITTEN BY A MAMBA RECENTLY BUT IT DOES PARALYSE YOUR BREATHING
APPARATUS IT DOESNT ITS NOT A POISON IN THE BLOOD STREAM IN THE SAME WAY
AS WITH MANY OTHER SNAKE BITES IT JUST HAS A PARALYSING EFFECT WHERE WERE
YOU DURING THESE THIRTY SIX HOURS THEN THAT YOU WERE RIGID IN BED AT HOME
IN YOUR OWN BED OR IN A HOSPITAL BED AT HOME IT WAS A LONG TIME AGO BUT
PRESUMABLY UNDER SUPERVISION MEDICAL SUPERVISION OH YES SUPERVISION ALL THE
TIME I FELL OUT OF A CAR AND THEREFORE WAS INJECTED AGAINST TETANUS AND THEN
A FEW MONTHS LATER I FELL OFF MY BIKE AND SORT OF BROKE EVERYTHING I COULD
AND THEY INJECTED ME AGAIN AND YOU SHOULDNT HAVE MORE THAN ONE INJECTION EVERY
THREE YEARS FOR TETANUS AND SO THIS ADDED TO THE FACT THAT I WAS ALLERGIC TO
THE SERUM UGH THEY USED TWO DIFFERENT KINDS OF SERUM THE FIRST TIME IT WAS A
DIFFERENT SORT OF SERUM WHICH DIDNT HURT ME MEANT THAT I BOTH CONTRACTED
TETANUS AND ALSO CAME OUT IN VARIOUS WEALS AND
THINGS LIKE THAT ALL OVER MY BODY AND LAY RIGID FOR A LONG TIME IT MUSTVE
BEEN TERRIFYING FOR THE PEOPLE AROUND YOU
EVERYBODY ELSE WAS GIVEN BRANDY TO SORT OF GET OVER IT BUT I DIDNT GET ANY IM
SORRY TOVE MADE SUCH AN OBVIOUS REMARK OF COURSE IT WAS WHAT ITS WORSE FOR
THE PEOPLE STANDING AROUND LOOKING AT YOU YOU THAN IT IS FOR YOU YOURSELF
IN CASES LIKE THAT I DONT LIKE TO SEE A LOT OF SOMEBODY ELSES BLOOD BUT
I DONT REALLY MIND ALL THAT MUCH WHEN ITS MY OWN HAVE YOU SEEN MUCH OF YOUR
OWN WELL NO BUT IVE HAD ACCIDENTS ON ONE OCCASION OR ANOTHER AND CUT MYSELF
BADLY AND HAD BLOOD IN MY EYES AND SO ON AND HAD TO HAVE IT STITCHED AND
AND SO ON AND ITS NOT REALLY BOTHERED ME SO MUCH AND YET IF I SEE SOMEBODY
ELSE BLEEDING AND OBVIOUSLY IN PAIN AND WITH BROKEN LIMBS AND SO ON IT MAKES
ME FEEL A BIT PECULIAR INSIDE YES YES THAT SICK FEELING OUT OF SYMPATHY
YES BUT IM GLAD AT LEAST THAT I DONT FEEL TERRIBLE WHEN I HAVE THINGS WRONG
WITH ME I FEEL TERRIBLE ON EITHER OCCASION I THINK VERY OFTEN YOUR IMAGINATION
IS IS WORSE IMAGINING SOME SUFFERING IS WORSE THAN EXPERIENCING IT ONESELF AND
IF ONE HAS GOT A FRIGHTFUL WHEN YOUVE ACTUALLY GOT IT YOURSELF YOU REALIZE
ITS NOT SO BAD AS SOME WHAT YOU MIGHT IMAGINE SOMEBODY ELSE SUFFERING IF THEY
HAD THE SAME THING EXCUSE ME WHAT A COMPLICATED SENTENCE ITS A LITTLE MORBID
THOUGH ISNT IT ITS RATHER YES BUT GOING BACK TO YOUR POINT OF A FEW SENTENCES
AGO I THINK THE TYPE OF PEOPLE WHO NORMALLY TALK ABOUT THEIR VARIOUS
ILLNESSES ALL THE TIME ARE PEOPLE WHOVE BEEN ILL PRETTY WELL ALL THE TIME NOT
OR THINK THEY HAVE HYPOCHONDRIAC WELL YES I SUPPOSE SO I THINK NEILS* GOT THE
POINT THE IMPORTANT POINT THERE PEOPLE WHO HAVE THOUGHT ABOUT THEIR

ILLNESSES A LOT OR SOMETIMES ITS THE MAIN EVENT OF THEIR LIVES AND THEY
HAVE IT ALWAYS IN MIND I KNOW WHEN I RECOVERED FROM MENINGITIS
I THOUGHT WELL IM NOT GOING TO BE AN AWFUL BORE TROTTING IT OUT IN FACT
I VERY NEARLY DIDNT MENTION IT THE OTHER DAY I THOUGHT OH DEAR IM TROTTING
OUT GIRLISH CONFIDENCES YOU KNOW BUT THEN I THOUGHT IT WAS A VALID POINT
AND IT DOES INTEREST ME HOW MEMORY WORKS MMMM ID ID CERTAILY LIKE TO DO SOME
WORK WITH APHASICS DO YOU KNOW ANY NO WHERE DOES ONE GET AN APHASIC IF ONE
WANTS ONE I DONT KNOW I MEAN HERE I AM LOOKING FOR APHASICS AND I CANT FIND
ONE ANYWHERE WHAT DO YOU WANT ONE FOR STUDYING PERHAPS THEYRE LISTED IN THE
CLASSIFIED TELEPHONE DIRECTORY UNDER A AF MMMM AF OH NO APHASIC APHASICS
WELL ILL TELL YOU ANYTHING I CAN OF WHAT I REMEMBER ABOUT IT BUT OF COURSE IT
WAS A LONG TIME AGO ABOUT FIFTEEN YEARS I THINK I WORKED IT OUT AS
WELL THIS IS WHAT YOU PUT ON THE RECORD ANYWAY OH THATS UNKIND OK IT IS
ISNT IT I DIDNT EVEN KNOW HE WAS BEING UNKIND IM NOT WITH YOU ITS RUBBING OFF
THIS UNKINDNESS IS RUBBING OFF ON TO ME NOW ISNT IT DO YOU MEAN ITS CONTAGIOUS
PRECISELY YES CAN CAN YOU REMEMBER THE ORDER FOR INSTANCE IN WHICH YOU
ACQUIRED YOUR LANGUAGE AFTER HAVING LOST IT BOTH WITH REGARD TO SOUNDS AND
WITH REGARD TO MAYBE GRAMMAR MAYBE IM MAKING TOO MUCH OF IT BECAUSE I CERTAINLY
DIDNT LOSE LANGUAGE ALTOGETHER WHEN I FIRST CAME ROUND ENOUGH TO SAY ANYTHING
SUCH AS I WANT A DRINK OF WATER OF COURSE I HAD TO DO IT ALL IN A SLAVONIC
LANGUAGE ANYHOW GOODNESS CZECH PRESUMABLY YES AND THEYRE SO UNUSED TO HEARING
PEOPLE SPEAKING THEIR LANGUAGE THAT WHEN I SAID VODA YOU KNOW IN THE
NOMINATIVE CASE THEY COULDNT THINK WHAT I MEANT WHEREAS AN
ENGLISHMAN WITH WHO WAS ACCUSTOMED TO HEARING HIS LANGUAGE SPOKEN WITH A
FOREIGN ACCENT WOULD PROBABLY HAVE GUESSED BUT NOW I HAD TO GET THE FEMININE
SINGULAR ACCUSATIVE CASE BEFORE I GOT A DRINK OF WATER VODU EXACTLY PRETTY
GOOD IT WOULD HAVE BEEN THE SAME IN SERBOCROAT AND IN RUSSIAN YES THATS
INTERESTING BUT HOW MUCH OF YOUR LIFE WAS CONDUCTED IN CZECH AND HOW MUCH IN
ENGLISH AND WHAT INTERREALATION WAS THERE BETWEEN THESE TWO OH GOOD HEAVENS
I MEAN THIS IS GETTING FAR TOO SERIOUS NO NO NO PLEASE DONT LET ME CHAT ON
WITH REMINISCENCES I WOULD SAY THAT I FORGOT LEXICAL ITEMS IF I CAN USE A
TECHNICAL TERM IT WASNT IN BOTH LANGUAGES JUST ORDINARY NO I DIDNT KNOW CZECH
WELL ENOUGH TO FEEL THAT ID LOST AN ITEM THAT WAS VERY FAMILIAR AND I HAD TO
STRUGGLE WITH A LITTLE BASIC VOCABULARY TO TO HAVE MY IMMEDIATE NEEDS SATISFIED
THAT WAS AS FAR AS IT WENT BUT AS FAR AS ENGLISH IS CONCERNED YES I WOULD BE
TALKING ABOUT SOMETHING AND THEN THE WORDS WOULD LEAVE ME NOW WEVE ALWAYS
MADE JOKES ABOUT OH WELL YOU KNOW THATS OLD AGE CREEPING ON AND I FORGET
THINGS TOO BUT ITS QUITE A DIFFERENT SORT OF FORGETFULNESS A SORT OF SOLID BLANK
WHICH IS QUITE TERRIFYING MMMM APHASICS OBVIOUSLY GO THROUGH
THE SAME OH SORRY APHASICS PRESUMABLY GO THROUGH EXACTLY THE SAME MINOR
EMOTIONAL CRISIS WHEN THEY CANT THINK OF THE NAME OF OBJECTS SUCH AS WELL
MICROPHONE OR CHALK YES OR WHATEVER IT IS AS WE WOULD GO THROUGH WHEN WE TRY
TO THINK OF SOMEBODYS NAME ISNT IT ITS MORE EXTREME IM REALLY TACKLING
THIS FROM THE WRONG END REALLY I FEEL I OUGHT TOVE COME IN AT THE OTHER END
WHAT I MEAN IS WHEN WE DO GO OUT AND START AGAIN YES OK ILL GO OUT HANG ON
A MINUTE HERE I AM AGAIN WHAT I MEAN IS WHEN WE CANT THINK OF A NAME IF IF
IM TRYING TO THINK OF AFAFS* NAME OR YOUR NAME IM SORT OF BANGING MY HEAD
AND ANNOYED WITH MYSELF BECAUSE I CANT THINK OF IT AND APHASICS APPARENTLY
BEHAVE IN EXACTLY THE SAME WAY WHEN THEYRE TRYING TO THINK OF THE NAME OF
ANY OBJECT CHALK AND SO ON DO THEY YES YES THEY CERTAINLY DO WELL I HAVENT SEEN
ANY OTHERS EXCEPT THE INMATES OF THE WARD THAT I SPENT SOME WEEKS IN BUT DID
THEY ALL SPEND MOST OF THEIR TIME BANGING THEIR HEADS NO YOU COULDNT BEAR TO
TOUCH YOUR HEAD IT WAS QUITE UNBEARABLY PAINFUL BUT ALMOST UNBEARABLY
PAINFUL OF COURSE BECAUSE I BORE IT OR I WOULDNT BE HERE BUT YOU WOULD MAKE THE
SAME GESTURE BECAUSE OF IRRITATION WITH ONESELF OR FRUSTRATION DID YOU FORGET
GESTURES AT ALL DID YOU WANT TO SUMMON SOMEBODY TO COME OVER TOWARDS YOU AND
YOU FORGOT TO BECKON FORGOT HOW TO BECKON NO BUT MMMM THIS IS INTERESTING
ISNT IT BUT IT MIGHT SUGGEST IN THIS WAY THAT GESTURES ARE MORE BASIC ARE
DEEPER THAN LANGUAGE ALTHOUGH THEYRE LEARNT ALTHOUGH THEYRE LEARNT YES THE TYPE
OF FORGETFULNESS WAS OF A DIFFERNT KIND EVEN IF ONE EXPRESSED ONES ANNOYANCE

OF NOT BEING ABLE TO REMEMBER WITH THE SAME GESTURES SUCH AS BANGING YOUR
HEAD AS YOU DEMONSTRATED BUT IF THERES A WORD ON THE TIP OF YOUR TONGUE AND
YOU CANT REMEMBER IT YOU YOU MAY GET ANNOYED WITH YOURSELF BUT YOU ARENT REALLY
WORRIED YOU KNOW THAT ITLL COME BACK BUT THE FORGETFULNESS THAT I EXPERIENCED
THEN WAS TERRIFYING YOU THOUGHT AM I GOING TO BE MENTALLY PARALYSED FOR LIFE
YOU HAD NO SENSE OF CONFIDENCE THAT IT WOULD COME BACK THAT IT WAS JUST A WORD
MISSING I MEAN YOU FORGOT QUITE ELEMENTARY THINGS BUT YOU WERE SELF
CONSCIOUS ENOUGH AND WITH IT SUFFICIENTLY TO WORRY ABOUT WHETHER IT WOULD
COME BACK IN OTHER WORDS YOU KNEW YOU WERE ILL AT THE TIME IN OTHER WORDS YOU
KNEW THAT YOU WERE SUFFERING FROM THIS DEFECT YOU WORRIED WHETHER YOU
WERE GOING TO BE A MENTAL CRIPPLE FOR LIFE OR NOT YOU DID I MEAN NORMALLY
WHEN ONE IS MAD ONE IS NO LONGER SELF CONSCIOUS ONE DOESNT WORRY ABOUT BEING
MAD BECAUSE ONE DOESNT REALIZE IT ONE DOESNT KNOW ONE IS MAD BUT YOU SORT OF
SUSPECTED OR YOU KNEW THAT SOME FORM OF DEFICIENCY HAD GRIPPED YOU WELL IN THE
FIRST MONTH ONE WAS TOO ILL TOO CARE IT IS THE STRUGGLE TO GET BACK TO NORMAL
THAT YOU BEGIN TO WORRY IM SURE WE SHOULD FIND A LIGHTER CONVERSATION WELL CAN I
REVERT TO ONE OTHER POINT THEN BEFORE YOU START HAVING A LIGHTER CONVERSATION TO
WIT TO WOO OH IM SO SORRY YOU DID SAY THAT YOU HAD THE DIFFICULTY OF A SECOND
LANGUAGE  NAMELY HAVING TO ASK FOR VODA RATHER THAN WATER YES  DID YOU FIND THAT
WHEN YOU COULDNT REMEMBER THIS VODA OR YOU COULD REMEMBER ONLY THE WRONG CASE
THAT CONTEMPORANEOUSLY WITH THIS YOU WOULD BE ABLE TO REMEMBER THE ENGLISH
WORD WITHOUT ANY DIFFICULTY WHATSOEVER IN OTHER WORDS DID YOU FORGET YOUR
CZECH COMPLETELY OR MUCH MORE THAN YOUR ENGLISH I SEE WHAT YOURE THIS IS
FOR MY SEMINAR IN A FEW WEEKS TIME I SEE WHAT YOURE ASKING ME BUT
BUT ITS EXPRESSED BADLY THE ANSWER IS THAT OF COURSE I DIDNT KNOW CZECH WELL
ENOUGH YOU KNOW KNEW ISOLATED WORDS THOUGH I KNEW THE ISOLATED WORD WATER I
KNEW THE ACCUSATIVE FEMININE OF NOUNS I I KNEW I WANTED A DRINK FROM THE
LIQUID COMING OUT OF THE TAP AT THE OTHER END OF THE ROOM IM NOT AT ALL SURE
THAT COULDNT YOU IM SO SORRY TO KEEP ON COUGHING PLEASE EXCUSE ME THATS ALL
RIGHT THATS ALL RIGHT ILL KEEP YOU COMPANY IN ANY CASE I DONT KNOW WHETHER
I THOUGHT OF THE WORD WATER OR NOT BUT I STRUGGLED TO THINK WHAT NOISES TO
MAKE TO GET SOMEBODY TO BRING ME A DRINK OF WATER AND OH SURELY YOU COULDVE
WHEN THEY UNDERSTOOD THEY DID YOU COULDVE PROBABLY GOT IT YOU COULDVE GONE
AND GOT IT YES YOU COULDVE JUST POINTED TOWARDS THE TAP COULDNT YOU OR
WERE YOUR ARMS IN PLASTER OF PARIS OR SOMETHING I DONT WISH TO BE
MELODRAMATIC BUT YOU CAN BE TOO ILL TO RAISE A HAND OR YES MMMM I SUPPOSE SO
A FOOT NOT THAT ONE POINTS WITH ONES FEET BUT STILL OH I SEE I THOUGHT YOU SAID
WELL ONE CAN AFRICANS POINT WITH THEIR LIPS I DO THEY GOSH HAVE YOU COME ACROSS
THAT NO I HAVENT IN AFRICA THEY POINT WITH THEIR LIPS NUPES ALWAYS DO DO
THEY IF THEY IF YOU I WANT TO POINT TO THAT HED SAY LOOK AT THAT OVER THERE
WITH THE LIPS HOW FUNNY AND IS IT BAD MANNERS TO POINT WITH ONES LIPS AT A
PERSON AS IT MIGHT WELL BE IN THATS BAD MANNERS WHAT THATS OH I SEE LEFT
HANDED AGAIN MMMM AGAIN IN SOME CONTEXTS BUT THE LIPS ARE ALWAYS USED AND
THEYLL KEEP THEIR HANDS FIRMLY IN THEIR POCKETS BUT REVERTING ONCE AGAIN
TO THIS WATER IS IT NOT A TRANSLATION PROPER THEN YOU HADNT THOUGHT OF THE
ENGLISH WORD WATER AND COULDNT THINK OF VODA IT WAS JUST THAT YOU COULDNT THINK
OF ANYTHING AT ALL I CANT HONESTLY SAY IT WAS A LONG TIME AGO FOILED AGAIN
A LOT OF WATERS FLOWN FLOWED UNDER THE BRIDGE SINCE THEN AND OUT OF THE TAP
PRESUMABLY THAT SAME TAP SOMEONE OUGHT TO TURN IT OFF YES HAVE YOU READ THAT
ARTICLE THEN ON APHASIA IN BILINGUALS OR NOT WHERE THERES ONE REPRODUCED
IN SOL* SAPORTA* SOL* SAPORTAS* BOOK YES NO I HAVENT IVE BEEN MEANING
TO GET THAT ONE FOR A FEW DAYS BUT IVE READ SO MANY OTHER THINGS IN THE LAST
FEW DAYS THAT I HAVENT GOT ROUND TO IT ILL TAKE IT TONIGHT THEN YES SURE
WHEREVE YOU COME ACROSS THE OTHER THINGS THEN WHICH ONE OF THEM THAT YOUVE BEEN
READING OH SORRY I MISSED I WAS USING THE OTHER THINGS IN EXACTLY THE SAME
SENSE AS YOU CAN USE THE OTHER THINGS NO I HAVENT COME ACROSS ANYTHING
SPECIFICALLY TO DO WITH BILINGUALISM AND APHASIA AT THE SAME TIME I DONT THINK
THE OTHER THINGS IVE BEEN READING RECENTLY ARE ALL ABOUT BILINGUALISM
OR SOME OF THEM ARE BUT NOT A PROPOS APHASIA THERES A USELESS THING BY HALL*
AND A COUPLE OF THINGS BY HAUGEN* AND ODDS AND SODS LIKE THAT ODDS AND WHAT

DID YOU SAY DONT ASK HIM TO REPEAT IT OH ODDS AND ENDS YES YES QUITE ODDS
AND ENDS LIKE THAT YOU MEAN THOSE LITTLE LEXICAL ITEMS ARE YOU GIVING
ANOTHER SEMINAR SOON WITHIN THAT SERIES

COME ON START SAYING SOMETHING YES IM JUST TRYING SPEECH TO SEE
ARE YOU GOING BACK TO THE BEGINNING THEN YES YOURE BEING RECORDED NOW
IS THIS THE REAL THING YES GOOD HEAVENS ARENT WE GOING TO TRY IT
NO NO MORE TRIALS THERES NO TIME FOR TRYING IT BUT I HAD MY MOUTH FULL
OF BISCUITS WHEN I SAID THAT IM STILL MUNCHING MINE EVIDENTLY AH GOOD
HAVE YOU EVER THOUGHT HOW DIFFICULT IT MUST BE TO MAKE ANY OF THESE
CONVERSATIONS ON BBC LIFELIKE YES WELL ARE THEY LIFELIKE YES I THINK SOME PEOPLE
HAVE THE GIFT FOR JUST TALKING AND DONT THEY MMMM YEAH FOR GOODNESS SAKE DONT
MUMBLE WAS I MUMBLING YES TERRIBLY I THOUGHT IT WAS THE BISCUIT CAN I TELL
YOU ABOUT THE WHAT HAPPENED IN THE SUDAN YES WHAT HAPPENED IN THE
SUDAN WELL MY FATHER SENT OUT THOSE FOUR CHAPS TO GET INFORMATION TO MAKE
SOME RECORDED MEASUREMENTS FOR HIM IN THE GEZIRA AND HE HAD TO GET SOME SOME
QUITE EXPENSIVE SCIENTIFIC APPARATUS FOR THEM AND THEY TOOK THIS OUT AND
THEY WERE GOING TO LEAVE THE HE WANTED TO GET THEM TO TAKE THIS APPARATUS OUT
AND LEAVE IT THERE FOR THE UNIVERSITY BUT AND HE ASSUMED IT WAS WORTH ABOUT
THREE OR FOUR HUNDRED POUNDS I THINK BUT HE ASSUMED THAT THEYD BE ABLE TO TAKE
IT INTO THE COUNTRY WITHOUT WITHOUT ANY DUTY ON IT BUT HE WROTE TO THE CUSTOMS
INSPECTOR JUST TO MAKE SURE OF THIS WHAT THE SUDANESE CUSTOMS INSPECTOR YES
THE SUDANESE CUSTOMS INSPECTOR AND THEY THEY SAID NO NO NO YOUD HAVE TO MAKE
THEM PAY A HUNDRED PERCENT IMPORT DUTY ON IT SO FOR THEM IT WAS GOING
TO BE MUCH CHEAPER TO BUY THIS APPARATUS IN ENGLAND TAKE IT OUT TO THE
SUDAN PAYING PAYING FREIGHT DUTY ON IT AND THEN PUT IT ON THE PLANE
TAKE IT ON PUT IT ON THE PLANE COMING BACK AND THEN THROW IT OUT OF THE
WINDOW WHEN THEYRE ACROSS HALF WAY ACROSS THE SAHARA DESERT RATHER THAN
TO LEAVE IT IN THE SUDAN WHAT SORT OF EQUIPMENT WAS THIS JUST WELL SCIENTIFIC
EQUIPMENT BUT WHY SHOULD THEY HAVE A HIGH DUTY ON IT IN THE SUDAN BECAUSE
SURELY THEYLL ONLY HAVE A HIGH DUTY TO PROTECT THEIR OWN PRODUCTS AND THEY
CANT MAKE THIS SORT OF STUFF CAN THEY NO WELL ITS A FORM OF INCOME THEY MAKE
THEY YOU HAVE TO PAY A HUNDRED PERCENT ON TAPE RECORDERS AND THINGS LIKE THAT
AND THEY DONT MAKE TAPE IT SEEMS A RATHER STUPID WAY I MEAN THEY DEPRIVE
THEMSELVES OF A LOT OF USEFUL SCIENTIFIC EQUIPMENT LIKE THIS MMMM BUT THIS IS
THE TROUBLE IN THE SUDAN THERE THERE SEEMS TO BE QUITE A LOT OF RIVALRY BETWEEN
DIFFERENT MINISTRIES AND SO ON AND THERES NOT MUCH COORDINATION YOURE COMING
ACROSS THAT SORT OF THING ALL THE TIME ITS A BIT INFURIATING BUT GOOD FOR
A LAUGH YES BUT THE POINT I MEAN IN MY COUNTRY ITS THE SAME I MEAN YOU HAVE
THESE THINGS IN EGYPT BUT IF YOU BUY THEM IN EGYPT YOU PAY DOUBLE OR THREE
TIMES AS MUCH AS YOU PAY HERE SO IF YOU BUY IT HERE AND YOU GO BACK HOME
THEY THINK THAT I MEAN YOU OUGHT YOU BOUGHT IT CHEAP SO YOU OUGHT TO PAY
SOME CUSTOMS YES YES BUT YOU ONLY PAY THREE TIMES AS MUCH FOR IT OUT IN
EGYPT BECAUSE THERES SO MUCH CUSTOMS DUTY ON IT SO THIS IS SORT OF CIRCULAR
ARGUMENT IF YOU WANTED WHY WHY DOES THE EGYPTIAN GOVERNMENT PUT THIS ON WHEN
ITS NOT ITS NOT DOING IT TO PROTECT THE TAPE RECORDER INDUSTRY IN EGYPT IS IT
NO BUT THIS IS HOW WE USUALLY PUT OH NO OH NO IT ISNT SURELY BECAUSE WE HAVE A
LARGE DUTY ON IMPORTED LIQUORS AND TOBACCO YES AND THINGS LIKE THIS YES I
KNOW THATS ONE OF THE THATS CERTAINLY ONE OF THE REASONS FOR LUXURY GOODS
BUT I SHOULDVE THOUGHT THERES AN INTEREST THE GOVERNMENT HAD AN INTEREST IN
IMPORTING AS MUCH SCIENTIFIC EQUIPMENT OF THIS KIND AT THE CHEAPEST POSSIBLE
PRICES AND GETTING IT GETTING IT DISTRIBUTED AROUND THE COUNTRY AS MUCH
AS POSSIBLE I THOUGHT IT IT WAS IN ANY CASE THERES NO INTEREST OBVIOUSLY IN
OUR GOVERNMENT IN DISTRIBUTING LIQUOR NO ON THE CONTRARY AROUND THE COUNTRY
IN VAST QUANTITIES AND THIS IS AN IDEAL SOURCE OF INCOME BUT IT DOESNT
APPLY TO TAPE RECORDERS IT SEEMS STRANGE TO ME I THINK THE POINT IS THAT
THEY HAVENT MADE A VERY VERY ACCURATE CLASSIFICATION OF THINGS AND THAT THE
ALL THIS SCIENTIFIC EQUIPMENT AND SO ON GOES GETS CLASSIFIED WITH TAPE
RECORDERS AND THINGS YES I KNOW BUT WITH TAPE RECORDERS I SHOULD THINK WHAT
I CANT HELP IT OH DEAR YOURE STILL SITTING LIKE THIS THE WAY DICK* IS TALKING

OH THATS FANTASTIC RELAX DO YOU WANT A CUSHION OH YES THANK YOU COULD I HAVE
THANK YOU DO YOU WANT ONE OH THANK YOU YES THEYRE RATHER NICE OH NO YOU HAVE
THIS ONE DO
NO NO I DONT LIKE THEM ARE YOU SURE YES ID RATHER SIT SHE DOESNT NEED A CUSHION
AND A CHAIR I NEED A CUSHION AND A BED FOR THAT MATTER BUT I COULD DO WITH
TWO CUSHIONS THATS ALL RIGHT DONT LOOK AT I THINK ITS RATHER NICE AND
ITS MEETING EVERY BLINKING TIME YOU WANT TO WATCH IT THATS OH GOOD GRACIOUS
ITS REALLY PERHAPS FROM ME GETTING SO CLOSE ITS SUCH A LOUD VOICE THAT
ITS ALL THE LAUGHTER LAUGHTER SEEMS TO CAUSE MORE NOISE YES THAN ORDINARY
SPEECH WELL HICCOUGHING SEEMED TO DO QUITE A LOT AS WELL FOR GOODNESS SAKE
DONT KEEP LOOKING AT IT LIKE THAT IM SORRY I CANT WE SHOULD TURN IT IN
THE OTHER DIRECTION REALLY SHOULDNT WE YES THEN WE WOULDNT BE SORT OF
CONSCIOUS OF IT YES IS THAT THE ITS TERRIBLY DIFFICULT ACTUALLY ISNT IT
TO TO TALK NATURALLY YES ITS ASTONISHING NOW NOW ITS OUT OF SIGHT MORE OR LESS
IT WONT BE SO BAD I SHOULD THINK YES ONE HOPES SO YES YES YOU FEEL YOURSELF
SORT OF DELIBERATELY I THINK THIS IS THE DIFFERENCE ISNT IT BETWEEN
LECTURING STYLE AND ORDINARY NORMAL CONVERSATIONAL STYLE IT WHEN YOURE LECTURING
YOU TEND TO BE PUTTING OVER MUCH MORE DIFFICULT SUBJECTS AND THEREFORE
YOU HAVE TO THINK VERY MUCH MORE YES VERY MUCH FURTHER IN ADVANCE YOU HAVE
TO THINK OUT WHAT YOURE GOING TO SAY UNLESS YOURE ACTUALLY READING IT AND THIS
IS SOMETHING I NOTICED DURING THE SEMINAR THIS MORNING ACTUALLY THAT I WAS
TRYING
TRYING TO THINK WHAT WERE THE CHARACTERISTICS AND IT WAS CERTAINLY THAT HE WAS
SPEAKING MORE MORE DELIBERATELY AND HAVING LONGER PAUSES BEFORE LONG STRETCHES
WAS HE READING HIS TALK OUT OR WAS HE DOING IT NO IMPROMPTU NO NO HE WAS
DOING IT IN WELL JUST FROM NOTES FROM NOTES YES OR IS IT YES HE HAS SORT OF
POINTS WRITTEN DOWN AND HE YES WELL LECTURERS LECTURERS WHO READ THEIR SCRIPTS
OUT CAN BE TERRIBLY DULL OH FANTASTIC YES THEY JUST READ ON A MONOTONE AND THEY
HAVE JUST NO NO INTEREST YES NO LIFE IN THEIR VOICES AT ALL ITS TERRIBLE
UNNATURAL WE HAD ONE CHAP AT CAMBRIDGE DENNIS* GREEN* WHO USED TO HE WAS GIVING
US LECTURES ON MEDIEVAL GERMAN LITERATURE AND HE WAS TRACING
THE MOST COMPLICATED HISTORY OF OF TRADITIONS BEING HANDED ON FROM ONE
PERSON TO ANOTHER FROM THE CELTIC LEGENDS OF THE BOG GODS TO THE MEDIEVAL
TRISTAN* AND ISOLDE* AND PERCIVALS* SONG PERCIVALS* SAGA YOU KNOW THE
PERCIVAL* NO PARZIVAL* OH PARZIVAL* PARZIVAL* YES I DIDNT KNOW PERCIVAL*
WAS THE SAME AS PARZIVAL* I THINK SO YES YES AND ANYWAY HE USED TO READ THESE
THINGS FROM CLOSELY TYPEWRITTEN SCRIPTS HE USED TO GET THROUGH ABOUT
TEN PAGES EVERY IN HALF AN HOUR AND WE WERE THERE SCRIBBLING AWAY FURIOUSLY
IT WAS TERRIBLE I THINK NEARLY ALL OUR LECTURERS SEEMED TO BE PRETTY BAD
AT DELIVERY WERE THEY ONE OR TWO WERE ALL RIGHT BUT ON THE WHOLE I USED TO HATE
GOING TO LECTURES I DONT KNOW OF ANY EVENTUALLY
I JUST DECIDED NOT TO GO TO MANY YES ESPECIALLY ON ON THINGS WHICH I COULD
READ UP BY MYSELF WELL LECTURES REALLY SEEM TO BE JUST A CONCESSION TO THE
ILLITERATE DONT THEY WHEN A LECTURER HAS WRITTEN A BOOK AND HE JUST READS IT OUT
TO THOSE PEOPLE WHO CANT CANT READ THEMSELVES YES EXCEPT THAT THE
ILLITERATE CANT EVEN WRITE NOTES SO YES THEY MIGHT BE ABLE TO REMEMBER
WHAT HE SAID THOUGH WOULD YOU LIKE TO SIT ON THE FLOOR AND TAKE THIS NO NO
REALLY ARE YOU SURE YES ILL KEEP THE FIRE OFF YOU ANYHOW BECAUSE YOU DONT
LOOK VERY COMFORTABLE OH I AM YES I MEAN YOU CAN PUT THIS ON THE FLOOR AND
OH MAY I OH ILL TRY YES THANK YOU ARE YOU WARM BECAUSE
OF THE FIRE YES SHALL I TURN THIS ON LOW IF YOU DONT MIND BUT ONE THING
I COULDNT UNDERSTAND THIS MORNING NOT NOT IN THE SEMINAR WHICH WAS BRILLIANTLY
CLEAR BUT HIS HIS NOTES THEY WERE TYPEWRITTEN BUT THEY WERE IN AN EXERCISE
BOOK SORRY I DIDNT COULD YOU UNDERSTAND THAT HIS NOTES WERE IN AN EXERCISE
BOOK THEY WERE TYPEWRITTEN THE NOTES THAT HE WAS READING FROM WERE
TYPEWRITTEN BUT THEY WERE IN AN EXERCISE BOOK OH MIND YOU PERHAPS IT WAS ONE
OF THOSE LOOSE LEAF THINGS NO IT WASNT A LOOSE LEAF IT WAS LIKE A YOU KNOW
A SEWN UP EXERCISE BOOK OH WELL HE PROBABLY PUTS THE EXERCISE BOOK IN THE
TYPEWRITER WELL HOW CAN HE HAVE YOU TRIED IT YES NO I MEAN BUT ITS QUITE
SIMPLE IF ITS NOT A VERY THICK ONE YOU JUST SORT OF SCREW IT IN NO IT WAS

QUITE A THICK ONE ACTUALLY BUT YOU COULDNT NOT WITH THIS ONE ANYWAY IT HAD A
STIFF COVER IT MAY BE STUCK ON
YES I THINK THE TYPEWRITTEN PAPER WAS THE ONE FROM MANCHESTER IT MAY
BE STUCK ON YES BECAUSE HE SAID HE HAD THOSE LOGARITHMS WORKED OUT
IN MANCHESTER DIDNT HE OH NO NO THE WHOLE THING WAS WAS TYPEWRITTEN
WAS IT IT WASNT JUST THE NUMBERS IT WASNT JUST THE SET OF NUMBERS
PERHAPS IT WAS PASTED ON IT MAYVE BEEN PASTED ON THIS IS THIS IS THE
ONLY POSSIBILITY I COULD THINK OF BUT IT SEEMED VERY CONSCIENTIOUS
AND NEAT AND TIDY BUT HES MARVELLOUS WORKING OUT ALL THOSE OPERATIONS ON THE
BLACKBOARD LIKE THAT EVEN OUT OF MEMORY YES EVEN IF HE PREPARED THEM
YES YES I MEAN IF I PREPARED SUCH MATHEMATICAL THINGS SAY LAST
NIGHT I WOULDNT BE ABLE TO REPRODUCE THEM SO QUICKLY ON THE BLACKBOARD
WHERE DO MATHEMATICAL THINGS COME INTO LINGUISTICS WELL THIS WAS THIS SEMINAR
ON INFORMATION THEORY AND SO YOURE WORKING OUT THE AMONG OTHER THINGS YOURE
WORKING OUT THE RELATIVE PROBABILITIES OF A GIVEN SAY A WORD OCCURRING
IN A GIVEN GRAMMATICAL FORM IN A GIVEN PLACE IN A SENTENCE SOME WORDS WELL
NO THIS WASNT QUITE WELL NO SAY NOT A NOT A WORD LETS TAKE A GIVEN TENSE
OF A VERB THAT THERERE THAT A VERB CAN BE IN SAY THREE TENSES IN ENGLISH
IN FACT THERERE PROBABLY MORE BUT SAY THERE WERE THREE TENSES IN
ENGLISH AND THEREFORE EACH ONE HAS
A HAS A HAS A PARTICULAR PROBABILITY OF OCCURRING YES AND LOOK HERE IF
NOBODYS GOING TO TAKE ME SERIOUSLY IM BLOWED IF IM GOING TO CARRY ON OH I AM
LETS TALK ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE YES I THINK YOUD BETTER TALK ABOUT SOMETHING
OTHER THAN LINGUISTICS FOR GOODNESS SAKE OH YES YES IM SORRY ID FORGOTTEN ABOUT
THAT WELL YOU KNOW I WAS THINKING ABOUT THIS THIS BUSINESS OF LECTURES MY
FATHERS GOT A A LAB BOY WORKING FOR HIM A TECHNICIAN AND HES A HE LEFT SCHOOL
QUITE EARLY BUT HES HES VERY BRIGHT AND HES AN INTERESTING SORT OF
CHAP TO TALK TO BUT HE HE CAME TO HE LEFT SCHOOL AT ABOUT SIXTEEN
I THINK FIFTEEN AND HE HE CAME AND WORKED IN THE IN THE LABORATORY WITH FATHER
AND GOT QUITE INTERESTED IN THINGS AND THEN THEY SENT HIM AWAY TO TO DO
A COURSE AT A FARM INSTITUTE SOMEWHERE FOR A YEAR AND WHEN HE CAME BACK
FATHER FATHER SAW HIM AND HE WAS ASKING HIM ABOUT THE COURSE AND HOW HE
LIKED IT AND SO ON AND HE SAID OH ITS VERY GOOD I THINK THE LECTURERS ARE
VERY GOOD BUT THERES ONE ONE LECTURER AND I FIND HIM VERY
DIFFICULT TO UNDERSTAND SOMETIMES YOU DONT KNOW WHETHER TO WRITE A FULL STOP
OR A COMMA WAS HE SERIOUS YES YES APPARENTLY SO SOUNDS LIKE THAT MAN
WHO TRIED TO INVENT A SORT OF LANGUAGE WHERE YOU SPOKE AND SPOKE
YOUR PRONUNCIATION AS WELL AS YOUR WORDS HE MADE IT A SORT OF
OH YES THERES A RECORD ABOUT IT ISNT THERE YES VICTOR* BORGE* I THINK
VICTOR* BORGE* YES WAS IT THATS RIGHT YES I HEARD THAT RECORD ITS MARVELLOUS
I HEARD OF IT YES ITS VERY GOOD HE HAS CLICKS AND THINGS DOESNT HE WHERE
THERE ARE FULL STOPS YES MY GOODNESS ITS SO FUNNY SOMETIMES WHEN HE ESPECIALLY
HES MAKING A LOVE CONVERSATION INSTEAD OF ITS A ITS A DIALOGUE NO NO I THINK ITS
A DIALOGUE ANYWAY AND HE INSTEAD OF USING QUESTION MARKS AND FULL STOPS
AND THINGS WHICH YOU EXPECT TO FIND IN A WRITTEN TEXT HES USING
YOU KNOW CLICKS AND YOU KNOW ALL FUNNY NOISES YES YES ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU GET
SORT OF INVERTED COMMAS AND EXCLAMATION MARKS ALL TOGETHER YES HAVE YOU SEEN
IT I HAVE HEARD IT A VERY LONG TIME AGO BUT I DONT REMEMBER
IT VERY CLEARLY BUT I REMEMBER THINKING IT WAS RATHER FUNNY AT THE TIME YES VERY
FUNNY YES ESPECIALLY WHEN HE HAS SORT OF A VERY SORT OF SENTIMENTAL
SENTENCE AND THEN DOTS YOU KNOW A FEW DOTS SOMETHING LIKE FOUR OR FIVE DOTS
AND THEN WHEN HE SAYS THE SENTENCE AND I I CANT REMEMBER WHAT THE DOTS
WERE WERE THEY SOMETHING LIKE TUT TUT OR SOMETHING I CANT REMEMBER THEY WERE
SOME FUNNY NOISES AND THEN THE NOISES SPOIL THE EFFECT COMPLETELY
YES I WAS JUST WONDERING CAN CAN THEY SAY THAT YOU ALWAYS
USE YOUR NATIVE LANGUAGE FOR MAKING LOVE IN BUT I WONDER IF YOU COULD
MAKE YOUR LOVE IN IN LINGUISTICS AS WELL IN IN LINGUISTIC METALANGUAGE BACK ON
LINGUISTICS AGAIN WHAT DO YOU MEAN MAKE LOVE IN
LINGUISTICS WELL I MEAN ITS SORT OF I CANT MAKE LOVE IN MY OWN LANGUAGE FOR
A FUNNY KIND OF REASON CANT YOU NO WHY NOT I DONT KNOW I FEEL IM TOO SHY

INHIBITED WELL ITS ALL RIGHT IF YOU WHAT WHAT YOU IM NOT INHIBITED BUT I FEEL
SHY HAVE YOU TRIED IN OTHER LANGUAGES YES THIS IS BEING RECORDED
DO YOU THINK WE SHOULD CENSOR IT I THINK NO I THINK I MIGHT BE TOO SHY IN
ENGLISH WELL THIS IS INTERESTING ACTUALLY BECAUSE IN THE EIGHTEENTH CENTURY
AND IN THE NINETEENTH CENTURY I THINK WHENEVER PEOPLE MADE LOVE THEY USED
TO DO IT IN FRENCH ESPECIALLY IF IT WAS A FOREIGN LANGUAGE BECAUSE IT JUST
BECAUSE THEY WERE TOO SHY TO DO IT IN THEIR OWN LANGUAGE REALLY AND THIS WAS
WHENEVER THEY TALKED ABOUT IN GERMANY I THINK FOR INSTANCE IN THE
EIGHTEENTH CENTURY IN THE SORT OF IMITATION SALONS THEY USED TO TALK TO USE
A LOT OF FRENCH IN FACT A LOT OF PEOPLE SPOKE FRENCH ALL THE TIME BUT YOU GOT
A LOT OF ENGLISH A LOT OF ENGLISH WORDS AS WELL IN IN GERMANY IN GERMAN ITS
THE SAME FRENCH WORDS WHICH ARE USED FOR GALANTERIE AND THINGS LIKE THAT
AND AMOUR AND THESE ARE OFTEN USED JUST AS EUPHEMISMS FOR FOR WORDS WHICH
EXIST IN THEIR LANGUAGE BUT THEYRE JUST TOO SHY TO USE THEM I FIND THAT WHEN
IM WRITING LETTERS TOO WHEN IM WRITING TO SOMEBODY IN ENGLISH I WOULD NEVER
DREAM OF BEING VERY EFFUSIVE OR ANYTHING IF I WAS SORT
OF THANKING THEM FOR SOMETHING OR OR TRYING TO COMPLIMENT THEM YOU KNOW ID BE
FAIRLY RESTRAINED BUT ON THE OTHER HAND IF IM WRITING TO SOMEBODY IN FRENCH
I FIND OR CONGRATULATING SOMEBODY ON SOMETHING I FIND FIND AUTOMATICALLY
IM VERY MUCH MORE EFFUSIVE VERY MUCH MORE FLORID YES AND I USE VERY MUCH YOU
KNOW GRANDER EXPRESSIONS AND LAY IT ON MUCH MORE THICKLY
AND I DONT NOT THROUGH INSINCERITY BUT I THINK ITS JUST THAT ONE FEELS FREER
TO USE PARTICULARLY IN FRENCH I THINK THE FRENCH ARE RATHER RATHER BETTER
AT THAT SORT OF THING THAN WE ARE SOMEHOW WELL I FEEL THAT ENGLISH IS BETTER
AT THAT SORT OF THING THAN ARABIC IS NOT BECAUSE NOT BECAUSE OF A DIFFERENCE
IN THE LANGUAGE BUT BECAUSE FOR SOME REASON I I CANT IMAGINE MYSELF SORT OF
MAKING LOVE TO SOMEBODY IN ARABIC I I I CANT SPEAK OUT THE WORDS OR ANYTHING I
CAN WRITE LOVE LETTERS IN ARABIC BUT IN IN CLASSICAL ARABIC WHICH IS AGAIN
I FEEL ITS NOT ITS NOT MY COLLOQUIAL DIALECT NO I FEEL ITS YOU KNOW CAN MOST
EGYPTIANS UNDERSTAND CLASSICAL ARABIC OH YES OH YES OH YES YES OH THEY CAN
WHAT IS IT LIKE SORT OF SHAKESPEAREAN ENGLISH IS IT SOMEWHAT SIMILAR
LIKE THAT YES IS IT AS LITTLE DIFFERENT AS THAT YES I MEAN EVEN AN ILLITERATE
PERSON WOULD UNDERSTAND THE BROADCASTING STATION WHICH IS IN CLASSICAL
AH BUT DONT FORGET THAT THIS IS THAT THIS CLASSICAL LANGUAGE ISNT ISNT A
COMPLETELY UNKNOWN LANGUAGE THEYVE BEEN BROUGHT UP WITH IT SO IF IF IF YOU GOT
A BEDOUIN FOR INSTANCE FROM THE DESERT WHOD NEVER HEARD THE RADIO WOULDNT HE
FIND IT MORE DIFFICULT TO UNDERSTAND IT I MEAN A CHILD IS BROUGHT UP WITH THE
RADIO IN THE HOUSE ALL THE TIME AND SO THIS YES THIS IS REALLY PART OF HIS
LINGUISTIC ENVIRONMENT DO THEY BROADCAST IN CLASSICAL ARABIC THEN IN IN EGYPT
YES WHY DONT THEY USE EGYPTIAN THE NEWS FOR INSTANCE
BUT WHEN THERE IS A FILM OR A PLAY OR SOMETHING OF COURSE ITS IN COLLOQUIAL
YES BUT ALL THE ANNOUNCMENTS AND NEWS EVERYTHING IS IN CLASSICAL WHY BECAUSE
BUT SURELY I MEAN EVERYBODY IN IN EGYPT WOULD BE ABLE TO UNDERSTAND IT IF IT WAS
IN CLASSICAL ARABIC IF IF IT WAS IN EGYPTIAN ARABIC I MEAN YES BUT ITS A SORT OF
ITS A BIT MORE FORMAL TO SPEAK CLASSICAL THATS WHY THEY SPEAK DO YOU SOMETIMES
SPEAK CLASSICAL ARABIC NO IN SOCIAL SURROUNDINGS NO NEVER
NEVER NO BUT WITH A FOREIGNER WITH SOMEBODY FROM OUTSIDE EGYPT FROM MOROCCO
SAY WOULD YOU WELL IF I FIND IT DIFFICULT TO COMMUNICATE WITH HIM IN EGYPTIAN
COLLOQUIAL THEN I USE CLASSICAL BUT MOST ARABIC SPEAKERS UNDERSTAND EGYPTIAN
COLLOQUIAL YES BECAUSE OF THE RADIO AND THE FILMS YES WELL EXACTLY I SUSPECT
THIS IS THE REASON WHY THE EGYPTIANS THEMSELVES UNDERSTAND CLASSICAL BECAUSE
OF THE RADIO YES BECAUSE THEYVE UNDERSTOOD THEYVE HEARD THE RADIO SO MUCH BUT
WOULDNT THEY USE CLASSICAL ARABIC ALSO IN THE MOSQUES YES IN WELL SERMONS YES
YES AND IN THE PRAYERS PRESUMABLY BUT SOMETIMES THEY USE COLLOQUIAL AS WELL
DO THEY OH REALLY YOU KNOW ITS A SORT OF THEY GIVE IT A CLASSICAL FRAMEWORK
BUT THEY USE SOME COLLOQUIAL WORDS HERE AND THERE THEY DONT NECESSARILY
KEEP TO CLASSICAL STRICTLY BECAUSE THEY WOULD THEY WOULD SOUND TERRIBLY
PEDANTIC PEDANTIC IF THEY SPOKE CLASSICAL BUT WOULDNT THEY PUT ALL THE
NOUN ENDINGS AND THINGS IN ALL THE CASE ENDINGS IN AND THINGS LIKE THAT IT
DEPENDS IF HES VERY SORT OF IS TRYING TO BE VERY IMPRESSIVE AND THAT SORT OF

THING HE WOULD BUT NOT NORMALLY NOT NO NO WELL WHAT IS IT THAT WERE LEARNING
IN THAT FUNNY BOOK IS THAT SPOKEN EGYPTIAN ARABIC NO WHAT BOOK YOU KNOW
THAT KAPLAWATZKY* BOOK THE THE BOOK THAT YOU THAT YOUVE SURELY SEEN IT HAVENT
YOU THE OH NO YOU SAW THE OTHER BOOK THE THE GREEN BOOK THAT WE DID THE
EXERCISE OUT OF DONT YOU REMEMBER THAT WE DID AN EXERCISE TRANSLATING FROM
I THINK TRANSLATING FROM FROM ARABIC INTO ENGLISH NO FROM ENGLISH INTO
ARABIC YOU DIDNT SEE THE REST OF THE ARABIC IN THAT NO NO NO WHAT LANGUAGES
DO YOU KNOW BESIDES ARABIC AND ENGLISH AFAF* FRENCH AND LATIN AND LATIN
OH REALLY OH WELL ILL LEAVE YOU TO IT THEN BUT YOU KNOW LATIN AS WELL YES
YES WELL YES I SUPPOSE SO DONT YOU KNOW LATIN YES OF COURSE HE DOES ACTUALLY I
NO I CANT I DONT KNOW IT YOU KNOW TO BE ABLE TO UNDERSTAND EVERYTHING OR
I MEAN I DID IT AT THE UNIVERSITY FOR FOUR YEARS AT THE UNIVERSITY DID YOU
WHY DID YOU DO LATIN IS IT NOT AN UNUSUAL LANGUAGE FOR EGYPTIANS TO LEARN
WELL NO IF YOURE DOING A LANGUAGE ENGLISH OR FRENCH YOU HAVE TO DO EITHER LATIN
OR GREEK AT THE UNIVERSITY DO YOU OH THATS INTERESTING HOW MANY PEOPLE DID
FRENCH AT THE UNIVERSITY WELL THERES
A FRENCH DEPARTMENT AS BIG AS THE ENGLISH DEPARTMENT IS IT YES THATS
INTERESTING BUT WHAT ABOUT SCHOOLS IN SCHOOLS DO THEY DO THEY DO FRENCH OR
ENGLISH USUALLY AS THE FIRST LANGUAGE WELL YOU HAVE A CHOICE BETWEEN ENGLISH
AND FRENCH NOW ITS BETWEEN ENGLISH FRENCH AND GERMAN AND GERMAN AS WELL
OH PLENTY OF SCOPE IN TEACHING DO THEY WANT ANYONE TO TEACH GERMAN IN THE
UNIVERSITY ACTUALLY I DONT KNOW GERMAN AND ENGLISH AND FRENCH AHA AND
LINGUISTICS AND LATIN AND LATIN ACTUALLY THEY DO WANT TEACHERS OF GERMAN
CERTAINLY OH I MUST GO TO GERMANY AND LEARN SOME MORE YES OH GERMAN AND
LINGUISTICS MMMM WHY IS GERMAN COMING IN I THINK BECAUSE MANY STUDENTS
NOW ARE SENT TO GERMANY TO STUDY OH IS THAT SO ITS THE SAME IN THE SUDAN
THERES A TREMENDOUS NUMBER OF THEM GO TO GERMANY AND THEY ALL HAVE TO SPEND THE
FIRST USUALLY THEY HAVE THE FIRST A SIX MONTH CRASH COURSE IN GERMAN WE HAVE
A TECHNICAL COURSE IN EGYPT AND A THREE YEAR COURSE AND ONE YEAR IS IN
GERMANY YES ONE WHOLE YEAR IS IN GERMANY OH DO YOU REMEMBER DICK* WHEN WE WERE
COMING BACK FROM THE LEBANON DIDNT WE MEET SOME IRAQUIS WHO WERE GOING TO
GERMANY FOR SOMETHING IVE FORGOTTEN WHAT IT WAS NOW YES ON THE BOAT YES
YES YES WE ARE ON VERY GOOD TERMS WITH GERMANY WEST GERMANY YES YES I DONT
NEED A VISA TO GO THERE YOU DONT NO I CAN JUST PASS THROUGH DO YOU HAVE TO
HAVE ONE FOR ENGLAND YES OH DO YOU YOURE NOT ON QUITE SUCH GOOD TERMS WITH
ENGLAND WELL YOU SEE THE POINT IS THAT ENGLAND AND GERMANY USED TO BE AT WAR AND
SO THIS IS PROBABLY A THING IN GERMANYS FAVOUR ARENT YOU COMFORTABLE OH YES
IM ALL RIGHT UP HERE ACTUALLY NO I I WAS COMFORTABLE DOWN THERE BUT IM AFRAID
IM KEEPING THE HEAT OFF YOU
PARDON ITS ALL RIGHT THE HEAT THE HEAT WELL THAT WAS A VERY NOBLE JOB ACTUALLY
A GOOD JOB WELL DONE IF YOU ARE VERY HOT YOU CAN TURN IT
OFF OR AT LEAST YOU CAN TURN IT DOWN DO YOU WANT TO TURN IT DOWN NO IM IM FINE
MYSELF IM FINE TOO ARE YOU YES IM ALL RIGHT YES BUT I THINK THIS IS SOMETHING
THAT THEY HAVE FIND WITH THE EASTERN EUROPEAN COUNTRIES AS WELL AND RUSSIA THAT
MOST OF THE COUNTRY MOST OF THE STUDENTS WHO COME HERE FIND THAT THEY WELL
NONE OF THEM COME KNOWING RUSSIAN OR CZECH OR ANY OF THESE LANGUAGES AND THEY
ALL HAVE TO START OFF WITH A SIX MONTH COURSE AND USUALLY THEY DO VERY WELL
I DONT KNOW HOW THEY MANAGE TO TEACH THEM SO MUCH IN SUCH A SHORT TIME BUT
WELL WHEN YOURE IN A FOREIGN COUNTRY YOU AUTOMATICALLY YOU WHEN YOU HAVE TO PICK
IT UP YOU KNOW YOU DO SURELY WELL UNLESS YOURE IN A COMMUNITY AND OFTEN WHEN
FOREIGN PEOPLE COME TO ENGLAND WHEN SAY AFRICANS COME TO ENGLAND THEY TEND TO
COMMUNICATE TO TO GO ROUND A LOT WITH THEIR OWN FELLOW COUNTRYMEN UNDERSTANDABLY
AND I SHOULD IMAGINE THIS MUST HAPPEN TO SOME TO A GREAT EXTENT IN RUSSIA
AS WELL ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU DONT KNOW THE LANGUAGE WELL TO SOME EXTENT WHEN
YOURE WHEN YOURE IN A FOREIGN COUNTRY YOU JUST HAVE TO TO TALK TO PEOPLE IN
THEIR OWN COUNTRY PRETTY WELL DONT YOU WELL NOT NECESSARILY WELL I MEAN MOST OF
THE ENGLISH PEOPLE IN THE SUDAN NEVER SPEAK TO SUDANESE EXCEPT IN ENGLISH
I KNOW TWO PEOPLE WHO HAVE BEEN IN THE SUDAN FOR TEN YEARS AND DONT KNOW
A WORD OF ARABIC WELL THIS IS BECAUSE THIS IS BECAUSE ALL THE SUDANESE PEOPLE
THEY WANT TO SPEAK TO USUALLY UNDERSTAND ENGLISH ISNT IT YES WELL THIS IS

THE SAME IN SURELY IN A LOT OF EASTERN EUROPEAN COUNTRIES
NO IT ISNT BECAUSE NO RUSSIANS WILL UNDERSTAND THE AFRICAN LANGUAGE BUT THEYLL
UNDERSTAND ENGLISH THEYVE ALL LEARNED ENGLISH SINCE ENGLISH OR FRENCH
BUT NOT VERY MANY RUSSIAN PEOPLE UNDERSTAND ENGLISH NO NO IF THEY WANTED TO GO
SHOPPING OR ANYTHING OR IF THEY I MEAN THE ENGLISH PEOPLE IN THE SUDAN
WOULD SEND SOMEBODY PRESUMABLY WOULDNT THEY WHEREAS IN AFRICAN STUDENTS IN
RUSSIA WOULD CERTAINLY HAVE TO DO THAT THEMSELVES YES EXCEPT IF THEY WERE
LIVING IN A HOSTEL AND I THINK THAT OFTEN WHEN THEYRE ON THIS LANGUAGE COURSE
THEYRE SENT TO A PARTICULAR WELL IN FACT I KNOW FOR A FACT THAT THERES A PLACE
I THINK ITS IN CZECHOSLOVAKIA THERES A COLLEGE SPECIALLY FOR TEACHING FOR
GIVING THIS SORT OF INTRODUCTORY COURSE TO FOREIGN STUDENTS AND SO THEY
PROBABLY THERE MAY BE ONE OR TWO CZECHS THERE BUT THEY DONT HAVE TO THERES NO
SORT OF PHYSICAL COMPULSION TO SPEAK CZECH ON THE OTHER HAND I SHOULD HAVE
THOUGHT IF THE CZECHS HAD ANY SENSE THEY WOULD DELIBERATELY GO OUT OF
THEIR WAY TO SEE THAT THE AFRICAN STUDENTS HAD TO MEET CZECHS SO THAT THEY GOT
INTO THE HABIT OF ONE WOULD THINK SO BUT HOW DO THEY HOW DO YOU DO THIS
WELL I SHOULD HAVE THOUGHT BY SPLITTING THEM UP INTO SMALL GROUPS AND BY GETTING
THEM TO GO OUT A LOT AND YOU KNOW SENDING THEM ON ON SORT TRIPS TO VARIOUS
PLACES IN SMALL NUMBERS ONES AND TWOS OR THREES THERE ARE LOTS OF WAYS YOU
THEY COULD DO IT THE BEST WAY BUT THE BEST THE BEST WAY TO DO IT IS TO IS TO GET
THEM WORKING ON SIMPLE THINGS ALONGSIDE OTHER
PEOPLE PARDON ME IF YOU IF YOURE DOING A JOB ALONG WITH OTHER PEOPLE THEN YOU
HEAR HEAR OTHER PEOPLE TALKING AND ITS NOT SO TIRING FOR ONE THING BECAUSE IF
YOURE ALL THE TIME GOING OUT OF YOUR WAY TO TRY AND FIND OPPORTUNITIES FOR
SPEAKING THE LANGUAGE FOR USING THE LANGUAGE THEN ITS VERY TIRING AND ITS VERY
EASY TO ITS VERY TEMPTING JUST TO STAY INSIDE AND
PERHAPS WORK AWAY AT THE GRAMMAR OF IT FROM A BOOK OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT
WHICH ISNT QUITE THE SAME DOESNT GIVE YOU THE SAME PRACTICE I FOUND THIS WITH
BEJA THAT I WASNT I HAD NO REAL PHYSICAL COMPULSION TO SPEAK BEJA TO ANYBODY
ELSE AND THE ONLY WAY I COULD GET PRACTICE WAS TO GO TO THE CAFE OVER THE
ROAD AND SIT THERE AND TALK TO PEOPLE HOPE THAT SOMEBODY WOULD TALK TO ME OR
THAT I WOULD MEET ONE OF MY FRIENDS OR SOMETHING SO YOU CAN IMAGINE POOR
DICK* SITTING THERE FOR HALF AN HOUR ON END AND SORT OF LOOKING AT PEOPLE
AND HOPING THAT THEYD COME AND TALK TO HIM AND THEN GOING AWAY DISGUSTED
IN BEJA TOO IN BEJA YES YES BUT ITS QUITE DIFFERENT WHEN YOU HAVE TO SORT TO
TALK A LANGUAGE IN ORDER TO GET ANYTHING THEN IT DOESNT IT DOESNT SEEM SO SO
TIRING BECAUSE YOU JUST DONT HAVE ANY CHOICE ITS WHEN WHEN YOU HAVE THE
CHOICE YOU YOU TEND TO I THINK DEVOTE MORE EFFORT TO SPEAKING THE LANGUAGE
IF YOU WANT TO SPEAK YES BUT THERE THERE IS ONLY THERES ONLY ONE THING
THOUGH THAT ITS TERRIBLY DEPRESSING BEING IN A COUNTRY WHEN YOU DONT SPEAK
A WORD OF THE LANGUAGE WE FOUND THIS IN TURKEY THAT DURING THOSE TWO OR THREE
DAYS BEFORE I I MET UP WITH NEIL* THAT IT WAS TERRIBLY DEPRESSING BECAUSE
I JUST COULDNT I COULDNT COMMUNICATE WITH ANYBODY EXCEPT ONE OR TWO OVERSEAS
PEOPLE THAT I COULD SPEAK ENGLISH OR FRENCH TO OR GERMAN A LOT OF GERMANS
THERE BUT IT WAS IT WAS IT WAS A BIT LIKE THAT IN THE LEBANON
YES BUT ONE COULD SPEAK FRENCH TO SO MANY PEOPLE THERE IT WASNT QUITE SO BAD
NOT QUITE SO BAD NO BUT IT MUST BE A HORRIBLE EXPERIENCE FOR PAKISTANIS FOR
INSTANCE WHO COME OVER HERE AND DONT DONT SPEAK A WORD OF ENGLISH YES YES IT
MUST BE PRETTY DEPRESSING IM WONDERING WHETHER I OUGHT TO START LEARNING FINNISH
FOR MY SCANDINAVIAN HOLIDAY BUT IM RATHER IM RATHER EVERYBODY
SPEAKS ENGLISH IN SCANDINAVIA
DO THEY YES INCLUDING FINLAND DO YOU KNOW NO I DONT KNOW ABOUT FINLAND BUT
IN DENMARK AND SWEDEN DID YOU FIND THE DANES AND SWEDES WERE FRIENDLY
VERY FRIENDLY YES OH REALLY THE SWEDES HAVE A REPUTATION FOR BEING UNFRIENDLY
I DONT KNOW WHY REALLY MMMM WELL EVERYBODY SAYS SO BUT I HAD I HAD A VERY NICE
EXPERIENCE WITH THEM ACTUALLY BECAUSE I MET A A SWEDISH GIRL ON THE TRAIN
FROM COPENHAGEN TO NO FROM AMSTERDAM TO COPENHAGEN YES AND SHE WAS GETTING
OFF IN HAMBURG TO TAKE THE BOAT TO STOCKHOLM AND I WAS STOPPING IN COPENHAGEN
AND SHE DIDNT KNOW ME WE JUST MET ON THE TRAIN AND WHEN SHE KNEW I
WAS GOING YO STOCKHOLM SHE ASKED ME TO SHE SHE GAVE ME HER ADDRESS AND SHE

SAID JUST DROP ME A POSTCARD WHEN YOURE COMING SO I THE NIGHT I WAS LEAVING
COPENHAGEN I DROPPED HER A POSTCARD AND I NEVER THOUGHT OF IT I JUST SAID
ILL PROBABLY MEET WITH HER ONE DAY AND I HAD A PLACE RESERVED AT THE YOUTH
HOSTEL IN STOCKHOLM YES I TOOK THE NIGHT TRAIN FROM COPENHAGEN LEAVING AT
ELEVEN I REACHED STOCKHOLM AT HALF PAST ELEVEN IN THE MORNING AND TO MY
SURPRISE I I FOUND HER WAITING FOR ME AT THE STATION
YES HOW KIND SHE RECEIVED SHE RECEIVED THE CARD IN THE MORNING AND SHE KNEW
THAT THERE IS ONLY ONE TRAIN THAT COMES FROM DENMARK TO SWEDEN BY NIGHT
YES YES SO SHE CAME AND SHE SAID WOULD YOU CARE TO STAY WITH US I WAS
AMAZED WHEN SHE SAID THAT BECAUSE I MEAN SHE HARDLY KNEW ME REALLY SHE
JUST MET ME ON THE TRAIN YES YES DID YOU GO AND STAY WITH HER YES I STAYED
WITH HER AND HER FAMILY FOR THREE DAYS ISNT THAT KIND OF THEM YES
IT WAS VERY NICE YOU YOU MUST HAVE GONE THE SAME WAY THAT WE WE ARE PLANNING
TO GO BY BY TRAIN DID YOU GO FROM HARWICH YES TO THE HOOK OF HOLLAND YES AND
THEN BY TRAIN AND THEN THROUGH HOLLAND YES BECAUSE I SPENT A WEEK IN
HOLLAND OH DID YOU I SEE WERE DOING IT ALL AT ONCE WE WE CROSS BY NIGHT
AND THEN WE CATCH THE TRAIN ABOUT HALF PAST SIX IN THE MORNING FROM THE
HOOK OF HOLLAND AND GO UP THROUGH HOLLAND AND GERMANY AND DENMARK IS
IT IT IS IT AN INTERESTING JOURNEY BUT I DID IT BY NIGHT UNFORTUNATELY DID
YOU OH I SEE I MEAN FROM HOLLAND TO DENMARK DID YOU I SHOULD THINK ITS
VERY DULL ISNT IT RATHER FLAT PERHAPS ITLL BE THROUGH COUNTRY I DONT KNOW

THINK WAS HEIR HEIR APPARENT WOULD BE HEIR AND HIS LINE WOULD TAKE ON FROM
HER BUT SHE STILL WENT ON REIGNING FOR ABOUT EIGHTEEN MONTHS AFTER THAT AND THEN
AS I SAY SHE STARTED INDULGING IN STRANGE REVELRIES AFTER WHICH SHE AGAIN
SAID SHE WAS GOING TO ABDICATE AND THIS TIME THE PEOPLE WERE ONLY TOO GLAD
TO BE RID OF HER SO OFF SHE WENT OH DEAR THATS QUITE A DIFFERENT VERSION
FROM THE ONE ONE HEARS IN THE FILM THEY BEGGED HER TO STAY THEN SHE LANDED
UP IN ROME WHERE SHE HAD A FASHIONABLE HOUSE WHICH WAS FREQUENTED BY ALL SORTS
GRAND PEOPLE AND LOTS OF CARDINALS APPARENTLY BECAUSE SHE BECAME A CATHOLIC
AND SHE WENT TO FRANCE A COUPLE OF TIMES AND ON ONE OF THEM SHE WAS
REPORTED TO HAVE ORDERED THE MURDER OF HER HENCHMAN HER VALET OR WHATEVER
HE WAS OF HER WHAT OF HER SERVANT BECAUSE HE DIDNT MIND HIS OWN BUSINESS
ABOUT HER PERSONAL AFFAIRS OR SOMETHING AND THEN SHE DIED IN POVERTY
OH DEAR WHAT A TRAGIC STORY IT WAS RATHER SAD AND WAS SHE AS INTERESTED IN THE
ARTS AND OH THATS GENUINE YES DEFINITELY DESCARTES* CERTAINLY DID GO AND DINE
THERE JENNIFER* WAS VERY CLEVER BEFORE THE FILM
STARTED SHE SAID IM SURE THAT SOME EMINENT MAN WENT AND CAUGHT COLD OR
PNEUMONIA OR SOMETHING VOLTAIRE* WHO LIVED A HUNDRED YEARS LATER WHICH WAS
RATHER SAD YOU DID PIN IT DOWN TO DESCARTES* BEFORE THE ACTUAL MOMENT
ARRIVED IN THE FILM DIDNT YOU DID I OR DID YOU NO YOU NUDGED ME AT THE
APPROPRIATE MOMENT AND SAID THATS HIM I ALWAYS REMEMBER BEING RATHER
TAKEN BY THIS WHEN I WAS STRUGGLING TO READ DESCARTES* THIS THING ABOUT HIS
CATCHING COLD IN STOCKHOLM OR UPPSALA OR SOMEWHERE I CANT THINK WHY A MAN
LIKE DESCARTES* SHOULD  WANT TO GO TO STOCKHOLM WHICH I SHOULD THINK WAS
PRETTY BARBARIC FOR THESE TIMES BUT THIS IS THE POINT QUEEN CHRISTINA* SORT OF
CAME ALONG AND STARTED A SORT OF RENAISSANCE CENTRE OF THE NORTH AND GOT
ALL SORTS OF PEOPLE TO COME OH YES I SEE BY SORT OF CHARM AND BRIBERY AND
PERSUASION OF ONE SORT OR ANOTHER SHE GOT HIM TO COME LIKE PEOPLE GO TO
YORK OR SUSSEX NOWADAYS TO WHERE YORK OR SUSSEX DO THEY WELL TO THE NEW
UNIVERSITIES YES I SEE FASCINATION OF THE NEW AND WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN
SEEING LATELY AFAF* HAVE YOU BEEN TO THE THEATRE NO I AM THINKING OF GOING TO
THE THEATRE NEXT WEEK I JUST DONT KNOW WHERE TO GO DONT KNOW WHERE TO GO OR
WHAT TO SEE LET ME SEE WHAT HAVE I SEEN RECENTLY I SAW THE OLD VIC HAMLET BUT
THATS I MEAN THE NATIONAL THEATRE HAMLET IS IT GOOD WELL I ITS VERY
WORTH VERY WELL WORTH SEEING IT GOES ON FOR A VERY LONG TIME ITS
EXPURGATED OR UNCUT AND EVERY SINGLE WORD THAT APPEARS IN ANY OF THE
VERSIONS AS FAR AS I CAN MAKE OUT IS PUT IN REALLY IS PLAYED OUT AND THE
PRODUCTION IS FASCINATING IT COMES OVER IN A COMPLETELY TO ME COMPLETELY
NEW LIGHT VERY SATISFACTORY EXCEPT POSSIBLY FOR HAMLET HIMSELF WHICH IS RATHER

SAD WHO PLAYS HAMLET PETER* OTOOLE* OH REALLY IS HE THE ONE WHOS SUPPOSED
TO BE TOO MUCH OF AN EXTROVERT I THINK I HEARD YES BUT THE CHARACTER THAT
HE ITS VERY STRANGE BECAUSE THE CHARACTER WHICH HE GIVES TO HAMLET
EITHER HE OR THE PRODUCER OR BOTH OF THEM SEEMS TO BE COMPLETELY RIGHT IN
THE CIRCUMSTANCES AND THE WHOLE PLAY THE WHOLE ACTION SEEMS TO BE POSSIBLE
WHEREAS BEFORE ITS ALWAYS SEEMED TO ME RATHER AN IMPROBABLE STORY WHY
DIDNT THE MAN GO AND KILL THE OLD MAN IMMEDIATELY YOU KNOW I MEAN IF HE
DECIDED TO DO SO WHY DOESNT HE GET ON WITH IT BUT SOMEHOW IN THIS PLAY THE
WHOLE THING SEEMED TO BE VERY VERY POSSIBLE AND YET ONE WAS ALWAYS SLIGHTLY
EMBARRASSED BY OTOOLE* ON THE STAGE BECAUSE HE WAS DRESSED IN THIS SORT OF
YOU KNOW USUAL HAMLET GARB SORT OF SHIRT RIGHT OPEN DOWN THE FRONT YOU
KNOW AND SORT OF WHITE FLOPPY SLEEVES AND TERRIBLY BLONDE HAIR AND
SOMEHOW THIS SORT OF TRADITIONAL HAMLET ASPECT IN THE UNTRADITIONAL
CHARACTER HE WAS PLAYING IT SOMEHOW DIDNT SOUND OR QUITE FIT TOGETHER OR
SOMETHING WHO PLAYS OPHELIA OH ROSEMARY* HARRIS* WHO I SAW IN I THINK THATS
HER NAME SAW AT CHICHESTER WHERE SHE WAS PLAYING A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT
CHARACTER AND IT WAS QUITE FASCINATING TO SEE HER IN TWO SUCH DIFFERENT
CHARACTERS SO CLOSE TOGETHER SHES OBVIOUSLY VERY GOOD INDEED WHEREAS AT
THE CHICHESTER ONE I HAD THOUGHT SHE WAS ENTIRELY ADEQUATE FOR THE PART
BUT HADNT THOUGHT THAT PERHAPS SHE HAD THE EXTRA DEPTH DEPTH OF A GREAT
ACTRESS OTOOLE* WAS LAWRENCE IN LAWRENCE OF ARABIA HAVE YOU SEEN THAT YES YES
THAT WAS GOOD HAVE YOU NO HAVENT YOU ITS VERY GOOD LAWRENCE LAWRENCE
THE FILM OH THE FILM NOT THE PLAY THE FILM NO I HAVENT ITS WORTH SEEING
IS IT OH YES I MUST GO AND SEE THAT IS IT ON NOW ITS A BIT BLOODTHIRSTY
WITH THAT GHASTLY SEQUENCE AT THE END YES I DIDNT LIKE THE SECOND PART
VERY MUCH NO BUT THE FIRST PART WAS VERY GOOD AND THE PHOTOGRAPHY WAS
MAGNIFICENT IT JUST COULDNT HAVE BEEN BETTER AND DOES THE CHARACTER OF
LAWRENCE COME OVER WELL YES I THOUGHT IT DID I SAW THAT EXTRAORDINARY PLAY
BY ROBERT* BOLT* CALLED GENTLE JACK IS THAT STILL ON I DONT KNOW ITS STILL
ON I HAVENT SEEN IT IS IT GOOD YES ITS GOOD IN A WAY THE THEME IS VERY OBVIOUS
IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN AT THE BEGINNING BUT THERES SO MUCH BRAINWORK
INVOLVED ITS ONE OF THESE PLAYS WHICH YOU DONT QUITE SEE WHAT DIRECTION
ITS GOING TO  TAKE AND YOU ARE TRYING TO SORT IT OUT THE WHOLE TIME AND YOU
FELT THE AUDIENCE WASNT QUITE WITH IT THEY DIDNT QUITE GET COME ACROSS IT
WAS A LITTLE BIT TOO OBSCURE ALTHOUGH AS I SAY THE MAIN THEME WAS WAS WAS
CLEAR I DONT KNOW THAT I ENJOYED IT VERY MUCH THAT REALLY IS THE POINT OF
GOING TO THE THEATRE AS FAR AS IM CONCERNED I DIDNT WHATS IT WHATS THE THEME
OF IT WELL IT IS ABOUT THE MAIN THEME IS THIS THAT THE HERO THE JACK* IN THE
PLAY IS A VERY FRIGHTENED CHARACTER WHO CANT ENJOY LIFE AT ALL CANT GET ANYTHING
OUT OF IT AND HES INTIMIDATED BY HIS EMPLOYER AND HIS THEY ALL GO DOWN TO
A COUNTRY HOUSE OWNED BY THIS WOMAN AND HE GOES DOWN TO THE FOREST AND MEETS PAN
THEY HAVE AN EXTRAORDINARY MIDNIGHT RITE WHICH IS LED BY THE LOCAL
CLERGYMAN THE VICAR AS A SORT OF YOU KNOW A TRADITIONAL KEEPING TRADITIONS
OF OLD ENGLAND GOING YOU KNOW THE SORT OF THING BUT UNWITTINGLY OF COURSE
HE ACTUALLY MANAGES TO CONJURE PAN UP AND PAN ARRIVES AND PAN STRIKES THE
BARGAIN WITH THIS WEAKLING THIS POOR LITTLE GENTLE JACK* THAT HELL CHANGE
PLACE WITH HIM GIVE HIM ALL HIS POWERS FOR A WEEK HELL LIVE IN THE FOREST AND
HE CAN BE ALL POWERFUL AND DO ALL THE THINGS THAT PAN COULD DO BUT TO DO
THIS HE MUST GIVE UP HIS HUMANITY YOU SEE AND ITS REALLY A DUEL BETWEEN
YES BETWEEN THE PLEASURE THE SORT OF RELEASE AND FULLNESS OF LIFE THAT COMES
FROM
LIVING JUST BY YOUR INSTINCTS BUT IN ORDER TO DO THIS YOU HAVE TO GIVE UP YOUR
MORALITY AS A HUMAN  BEING I MEAN YOU HAVE TO KILL AS WELL AS LIVE YOU SEE
AND IT DOES END UP IN FACT WITH PAN MURDERING THE MOST RATIONAL CHARACTER
ON THE STAGE WITH PAN MURDERING WITH PAN USING WELL USES GENTLE JACK* DOES
THE MURDER AND USES GENTLE JACK* WHO LOSES HIS NERVE IN THE LAST MINUTE AND
GENTLE JACK* IS THEN LYNCHED BY BY THE REST OF THE CAST ITS A VERY PLEASANT
END BUT IT REALLY IS YOU CANT REALLY YOU KNOW BE FULLY LIVE FOR YOUR
INSTINCTS AND THAT SIDE OF YOU ENTIRELY AND RETAIN YOUR FULL HUMANITY
THERES THIS SORT OF CONFLICT THISS WHAT HES PUTTING OVER ITS A PRETTY

ITS A FAIRLY OBVIOUS POINT AND HE JUST PUTS IT IN A SORT OF MYTHICAL STORY
AND MIXES OUR PROBLEM FUNNY TO USE MYTH ON THE STAGE YES VERY ODD YOU
SEEING BECAUSE THE WHOLE OF THE SETTING UP THE THE EMPLOYERS AND SO ON
ARE CONCERNED IN BIG BUSINESS DEALS IN MEXICO AT SORT OF STOCK BROKING
AND SO ITS MOST EXTRAORDINARY YOU GET ONE EXTREME WHICH IS BIG BUSINESS
AND YOU JUMP FROM PAN TO MEXICO AND WEALTH AND MATERIAL GOODS TO THIS
SORT OF VERY FEY AND EARTHY CREATURE MOST EXTRAORDINARY AND RATHER ITS RATHER
UNCANNY AND RATHER IT HAS VERY SERIOUS YOU KNOW ITS IN BITS OF IT MEANT TO BE
VERY AMUSING BUT THE UNDERLYING THEME IS VERY SERIOUS AND THAT COMES OVER
TO THE AUDIENCE I THINK TOO MUCH HE DIDNT AND THAT HORRIBLE END TO IT YOU
EVERYBODY SORT OF GOT A RATHER NASTY TASTE IN THEIR MOUTH AND THEY DIDNT
REALLY GIVE A WHOLE HEARTED APPLAUSE THEY WOULD OTHERWISE HAVE DONE
THATS LIKE THE LAST PLAY WE SAW TOGETHER WHEN THERE WAS NO APPLAUSE AT ALL
OH NO THATS VERY EMBARRASSING ISNT IT DID YOU SEE THAT THE THE REPRESENTATIVE
THE REPRESENTATIVE NO I DIDNT NO I MEANT TO BUT I COULDNT GO I NOTICED THAT
THE POPE REFERRED TO PIOUS* YES DIDNT HE YES HE DID IN THE LAST COUPLE OF
DAYS AND OBVIOUSLY IT WAS REFERRING TO HOCHHUT* OR WHATEVER HIS NAME IS WELL
WHAT I HADNT REALIZED UNTIL READ THAT BIT OF LITERATURE ABOUT THE PLAY
AFTERWARDS WAS THAT IN FACT ALL WE SAW WAS ABOUT THREE SCENES FROM A MUCH
BIGGER PLAY OH I DIDNT REALIZE THAT APPARENTLY THE WRITER WROTE HE MUST HAVE
BEEN MOST DISORGANIZED BECAUSE I MEAN HE DIDNT SEEM TO ORGANIZE WHAT WE SAW
IT WAS A BIT DISORGANIZED BUT THERE WERE A WHOLE SEQUENCE OF DIFFERENT SCENES
AND I THINK IM RIGHT IN SAYING THAT THE ENTIRE PLAY WHICH IS PRETTY WELL
UNPRODUCEABLE THE POPE IS NOT THE POPES DILEMMA IS NOT NECESSARILY THE CENTRAL
THEME OH I SEE SO AND THE CHAP THE CHAP THE GERMAN SS MAN WHO HELPS GESTABO* THE
PRIEST YES WHOS THE TURNCOAT WHO SPIES ON THEM TURNCOAT IF YOU LIKE IS AS MUCH
A CENTRAL CHARACTER AS THE CARDINAL FONTANA* THAT WOULDVE MADE A MUCH BETTER
PLAY I SHOULDVE THOUGHT BECAUSE OUR FEELING WAS AT THE END THAT THEY COULD
QUITE WELL HAVE LEFT THE POPE OUT OF IT AND MADE JUST AS GOOD A PLAY THEY
COULD INDEED AND USED YOUNG JOSETT* AS A AS CENTRAL CHARACTER ALONE DID IT
HAVE A RELIGIOUS THEME WELL NOT EXACTLY A RELIGIOUS THEME IT WAS IT WAS A
HORRIBLE PLAY IT WAS IN VERY BAD TASTE NOT ONLY IN THAT IT ACCUSED THE THEN POPE
OF FAILING TO PROTECT THE JEWS WHEN THEY WERE BEING PERSECUTED IN ROME BY
FAILING TO SPEAK OUT IN CONDEMNATION OF THE NAZIS HE KEPT SILENCE WHEN HE
SHOULDVE SPOKEN ON THEIR BEHALF THIS IS WHAT THE PLAY SAID SO THEY SAID WELL
HE DID KEEP SILENCE THIS IS TRUE BUT WHAT THE FULL STORY AND THE FULL REASONING
IS ONE IS NOT IN A POSITION TO SAY BUT THIS OFFENDED ME BUT IT DIDNT OFFEND
ME QUITE SO MUCH AS THIS TERRIBLE SORT OF COMBINATION OF PLAY PLUS FILM PLUS
SOUND TRACK THE WAY THEY ABSOLUTELY SO SHATTERED YOUR NERVES AND ALL YOUR
EMOTIONAL SUSCEPTIBILITIES BEFORE THEY EVER STARTED SHOWING YOU THE PLAY
PROPER BY SHOWING YOU THE MOST TERRIBLE FILMS OF YOU KNOW JEWS BEING DEPORTED
AND AUSCHWITZ AND HORRID WHICH I MEAN ONE IT JEOPARDIZES YOUR JUDGMENT FROM
THE BEGINNING SORT OF PUT YOU INTO THIS STATE BEFORE YOU EVER SAW POPE PIUS*
AT ALL AND THEN HIS CHARACTER WAS VITIATED AND I THINK I TOOK GREAT EXCEPTION
TOO TO THE WAY HE MADE HIM WASH HIS HANDS AS PILATE DID YES YOU KNOW AS MUCH
AS TO SAY DRAWING SO CLOSE A PARALLEL YOU KNOW ITS AWFUL NO I DIDNT ENJOY
THAT I MEAN I WAS REASONABLY GLAD TOVE SEEN IT SINCE IT AS A TALKING POINT
BUT I WAS REALLY RATHER HORRIFIED ITS QUITE A GOOD THING TOVE SEEN THESE FILMS
IN A WAY I FEEL OH YES I DONT REGRET HAVING SEEN THOSE FILMS BUT I WISH ID
BEEN PREPARED FOR IT AND KNOWN THAT THAT WAS WHAT I WAS GOING TO SEE RATHER
THAN SOMETHING IT MAKES ONE WONDER BECAUSE THEYRE HAVING GREAT DIFFICULTY NOW
ARENT THEY IN GETTING YOUNG GERMANS TO PAY SUFFICIENT ATTENTION TO THE THE
TRIALS GOING ON IN GERMANY AND YOU WONDER WHAT GOOD IT DOES TO DRAG THESE
THINGS OVER AND OVER SO MANY YEARS AFTER THE WAR IT DOES CERTAINLY INNOCULATE
ONE AGAINST ANY FEELING OF SHAME OR INVOLVEMENT OR WHAT HAVE YOU IF YOU HEAR
MUCH ABOUT IT WOULD YOU RATHER HAVE SEEN THE FILMS AFTER THE PLAY WELL YES I
DONT KNOW I MEAN I AM NOT PARTICULARLY SQUEAMISH BUT IT DID BRING HOME THE
HORRORS OF IT IN A WAY THAT I DONT THINK I EVER HAD
SORT OF REALIZED BEFORE HAVE YOU SEEN TRIAL AT NUREMBERG NO ITS A FILM IS IT
YES HAVE YOU NO THAT WAS A HORRIBLE FILM IT REALLY WAS THAT WAS A REAL

DOCUMENTARY WASNT IT TAKEN NO WASNT IT NO NO IT WASNT NO NO IT WAS A
WHOLE FILM WHY WAS THAT SO HORRIBLE WELL THEY SHOWED YOU KNOW CONCENTRATION
CAMPS AND WHAT WAS GOING ON THERE THEY DIDNT OF COURSE SHOW THE ACTUAL
CONCENTRATION CAMPS BUT DURING THE TRIAL SOMEBODY WAS SUPPOSED TO SHOW
FILMS OF WHAT WAS GOING ON REALLY AND THAT WAS ALMOST UNNECESSARY TO BE
SHOWN IN THE FILMS IT WAS JUST HORRIBLE I AM SURE IT SERVES NO PURPOSE
ITS AWFUL YES AND RAKING THE CORPSES TOGETHER AND ALL THE BONES AND ALL THE
PEOPLE DRIVEN INTO BATHROOMS AND BEING TOLD THEYRE GOING TO HAVE A SHOWER
OR SOMETHING AND BEING REALLY PACKED ALL OF THEM IN ONE SINGLE ROOM THEN
WHICH WAS JUST MORE OR LESS A GAS CHAMBER OR SOMETHING THE STRANGEST THING IS
HOW LITTLE WAS WELL I SUPPOSE ITS NOT STRANGE BUT I HADNT REALIZED HOW
LITTLE WAS KNOWN ABOUT WHAT WAS GOING ON AT THE TIME BUT I SUPPOSE
IF IT HAD BEEN MORE WIDELY KNOWN THE HORROR WOULDVE BEEN SUCH YES AND
I THINK IF YOU HALF SUSPECT SOME OF THESE THINGS YOU KNOW TO SAY AND YOU
CANT DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT ITS YOUR NATURAL INSTINCT ISNT IT NOT TO INQUIRE
TOO CLOSELY I THINK THIS MUST BE THE CASE WITH MANY GERMANS WHO MUST HAVE
HALF SUSPECTED WHAT WAS HAPPENING DONT YOU THINK I MEAN WITH THE GERMANS
WHO WERE DRIVEN AWAY ONE CANT TELL ONE CANT TELL BUT IF YOU FEEL THE SORT OF
HELPLESS SITUATION THERES NOTHING YOU CAN DO ITS ALWAYS BETTER TO
CONCENTRATE ON THE JOB IN HAND AND NOT INQUIRE TOO CLOSELY ITS AN EASY
WAY OUT ISNT IT WHAT DO YOU THINK THE OBJECT IS OF RAKING UP THESE TRIALS
NOW DO YOU THINK IS IT TO MAKE PEOPLE STILL FEEL A SENSE OF GUILT WHAT IN
GERMANY NOW YES OR WHETHER ITS SIMPLY A SORT OF PREVENTIVE MEASURE TO
SHOW PEOPLE THE HORROR OF WHAT CAN HAPPEN ONE FEELS IN A WAY ITS A SORT OF
SOME SORT OF REPARATION THEYRE STILL CONDEMNING THEMSELVES AND TRYING
TO ATONE IN SOME WAY BY THIS SORT OF OH SORT OF MASOCHISTIC ISNT DONT YOU THINK
THERES JUST A TRIAL THAT STARTED RECENTLY ISNT IT YES AND IT DOESNT
BUT WE KNOW IF ANY WAR BREAKS OUT NOTHING OF THE SORT IS GOING TO HAPPEN
IT WILL BE ABSOLUTE DESTRUCTION ANOTHER TIME YES YES I MEAN IF A THIRD WORLD
WAR BREAKS OUT YES THIS I THINK IS ABSOLUTELY I THINK THISS ABSOLUTELY
SENSELESS ITS ALMOST AS THOUGH THE GERMANS STILL FEEL THIS TREMENDOUSLY
THEYRE STILL TRYING TO MAKE SOME SORT OF ATONEMENT AND REPARATION WHETHER
ITS UNCONSCIOUS OR NOT I DONT KNOW I CAN THINK OF BETTER WAYS FOR THEM
TO DO IT WE HAD QUITE AN INTERESTING GROUP IN THAT BRITISH COUNCIL COURSE
THERE WERE ONE RUSSIAN REALLY AND ABOUT TWO AMERICANS AND TWO THREE CANADIANS
AND YES THERE WAS A GERMAN BOY TWO GERMANS AND I REMEMBER AN INTERESTING
CONVERSATION GOING ON IN THE COACH ONE DAY THE GERMAN WAS ARGUING WITH
ME AND THEY WERE ARGUING ALL OVER THE PLACE ABOUT THAT RUSSIAN THE POOR
FELLOW I MEAN HE WAS SORT OF ALWAYS BEING A POINT OF INTEREST YES EVERYBODY
SAYS CAN I HAVE A PICTURE WITH YOU I HAVENT SEEN A RUSSIAN BEFORE AND
THAT SORT OF THING POOR BOY HOW AWFUL FOR HIM AND ALL MAKING JOKES ABOUT
HIM AND ESPECIALLY BECAUSE OF THE OTHER TWO AMERICANS YES WE WERE ARGUING
AND THEN ALL OF A SUDDEN ONE OF THE AMERICANS HE STARTED ARGUING WITH THE
GERMAN AND DO YOU KNOW WHAT HE SAID HE SAID I THINK THAT WE OUGHT TO BE
AFRAID OF YOU GERMANS MORE THAN THE RUSSIANS REALLY WHAT WAS THE GERMANS
REACTION HE SAID WHY HE SAID BECAUSE I REALLY THINK THAT YOU ARE
ESSENTIALLY VICIOUS HONESTLY HE SAID THAT YOU KNOW WAS HE SERIOUS YES HE
SAID DID HE REALLY MEAN IT DO YOU THINK UNDERNEATH IN A GENTLE WAY BUT
REALLY MEANING IT UNDERNEATH WELL HE SAID IT I MEAN SERIOUSLY HE WASNT
JOKING OH HE WAS SERIOUS NO HE WAS SERIOUS YES THATS A BIT UNNECESSARY
CHRISTMAS SPIRIT HOW DID THE GERMAN TAKE IT HE SAID WHY DO YOU CALL US
VICIOUS HE SAID I REALLY THINK THAT YOU ARE THE ONLY PEOPLE CAPABLE OF BREAKING
OUT A THIRD WORLD WAR NOT THE RUSSIANS AT ALL BECAUSE YOU HAVE I MEAN YOU
HAVE THE INTENTION ITS NOT THAT HE BELIEVES THAT IF ANY WAR BREAKS OUT
BETWEEN AMERICA AND RUSSIA IT WILL BE SORT OF ACCIDENTAL CHALLENGE OR
SOMETHING LIKE THAT BUT NOT THAT THEY REALLY HAVE THE INTENTION TO HAVE A THIRD
WORLD WAR AND DESTROY THE WHOLE WORLD NO WHEREAS HE ATTRIBUTES THIS TO THE TO
THE GERMANS TO THE GERMANS HE SORT OF HE WAS SO BITTER AGAINST THE GERMANS
WAS HE ITS RATHER UNUSUAL IVE NEVER I DONT OFTEN COME ACROSS YOUNG
PEOPLE ITS RATHER UNUSUAL IN A YOUNG PERSON ISNT IT I TELL YOU YOU CAN

BECAUSE WE HAD A POLISH BOY IN THE CLASS WHEN I WAS IN EDINBURGH AND HE
SAW SOME OF HIS RELATIVES BEING TORTURED HE SAW THEM WITH HIS OWN EYES WHEN
HE WAS A LITTLE BOY YES AND HE JUST CANT FORGET IT HE JUST CANT GET OVER IT
TORTURED BY THE GERMANS YES I MEAN DURING THE WAR YES OH THAT SORT OF
THING IS QUITE UNDRSTANDABLE ISNT IT THATS WHY IN MY MOTHERS GENERATION
THERES A LOT OF PEOPLE WHO FEEL TERRIBLY BITTER STILL AND I THINK WHO
SUFFERED VERY MUCH BUT ITS INTERESTING THAT A YOUNG AMERICAN SHOULD SPEAK
LIKE THAT AND WHAT WAS THE RUSSIAN LIKE WAS HE A FULLY FLEDGED COMMUNIST AND
SO ON DID HE SPEAK NO HE DIDNT SPEAK ABOUT POLITICS AT ALL HE DIDNT HOW
DISAPPOINTING POOR MAN HONESTLY WHEREVER HE WENT EVERYBODY SORT OF WAITED TO SEE
WHAT HE WAS GOING TO SAY AND EXPECTED HIM TO SAY SOMETHING WHICH YOU KNOW
SOMETHING ABOUT COMMUNIST RUSSIA AND THAT SORT OF THING AND THEN THEY WERE
MOST SURPRISED WHEN HE STARTED TALKING ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE WHAT IS HE DOING
OVER HERE STUDYING PRESUMABLY HES A BRAIN SURGEON OH REALLY AND HES DOING
SOME RESEARCH WORK HERE FOR A YEAR THERE WERE MANY INTERESTING PEOPLE ON THAT
COURSE HES BRILLIANT VERY VERY BRILLIANT AND NOT ONLY IS JUST A DOCTOR HE COULD
TALK ABOUT ANYTHING YOU ASK HIM ABOUT HE TALKED ABOUT LITERATURE ABOUT
PAINTING ABOUT MUSIC ABOUT EVERYTHING FANTASTIC AND HE USED TO SPEND MOST
OF HIS TIME IN THE LIBRARY IN THE HOUSE WAS THERE A LIBRARY IN THIS HOUSE
YES SORT OF LOOKING FOR INTERESTING BOOKS HE FOUND A LITTLE ENCYCLOPAEDIA ABOUT
BIRDS OR SOMETHING AND HE WAS FASCINATED BY IT HE USED TO READ IT DAY AND
NIGHT AND HE HAD SOME RUSSIAN CIGARETTES AND WHENEVER HE ASKED ANYBODY TO
HAVE YOU KNOW A CIGARETTE THEY SAID A COMMUNIST CIGARETTE ITS A GREAT PITY
WE DONT HAVE MORE VISITORS FROM RUSSIA I WONDER WHY NOT I SUPPOSE MOST OF
THE SUBJECTS ONE COULD STUDY HERE ONE COULD STUDY EQUALLY WELL IN RUSSIA DO
YOU THINK IS THAT PARTLY THE REASON YOU SHOULD ASK NORRY* ABOUT THIS BECAUSE
SHES INVOLVED IN THIS NOW ISNT SHE NO I THOUGHT IT WAS ONLY AFRICAN STUDENTS
OH SHES CHANGED FROM THAT SHES NOW GONE TO THE DEPARTMENT WHICH ARRANGES
CULTURAL RELATIONSHIPS WITH RUSSIA AND SHE SORT OF ORGANIZES THE BOLSHOI
BALLET AND THINGS AS FAR AS I CAN MAKE OUT GOOD GRACIOUS SHE SOUNDS A VERY
IMPORTANT PERSON WELL THE SORT OF GENERAL SORT OF PLANNING AND SUCH THINGS THIS
IS A FRIEND OF OURS WHO WAS WITH US AT NEWNHAM WHO THEN WENT TO CANADA WAS
IT OR SHE WENT ABROAD FOR SOME TIME THE STATES THE STATES I THINK AND CAME
BACK AND JOINED THE BRITISH COUNCIL AND TO START WITH IT WAS QUITE IT WAS SORT
OF
WELL A HALF SEMI WELFARE JOB WASNT IT REALLY LOOKING AFTER AFRICAN STUDENTS WHO
CAME OVER HERE AND WANTED TO BE ADVISED ON LODGINGS AND IF THEY WERE UNHAPPY
HELP THEM THAT WAY FOR SOME TIME THEN IT DIDNT SEEM TO BE LEADING ANYWHERE
THEN EVENTUALLY SHE LANDED CHANGED HER DEPARTMENT AND LANDED THIS INTERESTING
JOB YES I THINK SHES ENJOYING IT IT SOUNDS MORE INTERSTING YES I THINK IT
IS IN THE LONG TERM THAN THE OTHER ONE WHAT DID YOU SAY THE NAME OF THE
PLACE WAS WHERE WHERE YOU SAID SHE WAS STAYING WITH US IN THAT FRIEND OF YOURS
IN NEWNHAM IN CAMBRIDGE OH A COLLEGE NEWNHAM COLLEGE YOU WERE TOGETHER IN
CAMBRIDGE YES THATS WHERE SO WAS PATRICIA* THIS OTHER GIRL THE GIRL WHO
LIVES HERE SHOULD BE YES SHOULD BE LIVING HERE WERE YOU STAYING IN A HOSTEL
WELL WE LIVED IN COLLEGE MOST OF ALL OF THE TIME REALLY YES EXCEPT FOR A FEW
OLD CODGERS LIKE MYSELF WHO WERE ALLOWED TO GO OUT IN THEIR THIRD YEAR TO A
STRANGE LITTLE HOUSE CALLED WHITSTEAD OVER THE OTHER SIDE OF THE GAMES FIELD
YES WITH VARIOUS OTHER OLDER STUDENTS RATHER SELECT BECAUSE YOU MET ONE OR TWO
RATHER MORE INTERESTING PEOPLE THEY HAD ONE OR TWO RESEARCH STUDENTS FROM
PAKISTAN AND INDIA AND PLACES LIKE THAT AND I SUPPOSE I DONT KNOW WHY I THINK
ITS BECAUSE I WAS OLDER AND GRACE* WENT THERE TOO YES DIDNT SHE I FOUND
MYSELF IN A SLIGHTLY EMBARRASSING POSITION BECAUSE ID GOT TO GET A REFERENCE
FROM THE UNIVERSITY OR SOMEBODY AT THE UNIVERSITY OR COLLEGE AND I FOUND I
REALIZED THAT NOBODY AT NEWNHAM NOW WOULDVE ANY IDEA WHO I AM YOU KNOW BUT FROM
THE UNIVERSITY YOU CANT GET SORT OF MISS WALLACE* HAVING WELL I COULD I MIGHT
GET FROM HER OR FROM YOU KNOW IVE WRITTEN UP ACTUALLY TO NEWNHAM TO ASK
THEIR ADVICE AND THEN I CAN CONTACT WHAT WAS EXACTLY THE COURSE YOU WERE
DOING YOU WERE DOING THE SAME COURSE WELL WE WERE BOTH DOING AN ORDINARY
BA OR AT LEAST NOT STRICTLY ORDINARY HONOURS BA IN MODERN LANGUAGES FRENCH

AND GERMAN OR ITALIAN I WAS DOING GERMAN JENNIFER* WAS DOING ITALIAN BUT THE
COURSES VERY MUCH A COURSE ON LITERATURE THE LANGUAGE THAT ONE DOES IS PRETTY
ELEMENTARY BUT ITS PURELY ITS REALLY A SORT OF PROFICIENCY EXAMINATION IN THE
ACTUAL OF FOREIGN LANGUAGES ITS A MEANS TO AN END YES THEY ITS DIVIDED INTO
TWO PARTS OF THE TRIPOS YOU SEE AND THE FIRST PART IS LANGUAGE BUT SIMPLY IN
ORDER TO GIVE YOU A JUMPING OFF BOARD REALLY FOR LITERATURE AND THE SECOND
HALF OF THE TRIPOS WHICH IS TWO YEARS IN LENGTH WHEREAS IN OXFORD I BELIEVE
THEY DO A GREAT DEAL THE PHILOLOGY IS COMPULSORY THERE ISNT IT THERES A GREAT
DEAL MORE LANGUAGE I THINK SO REALLY YOU COME DOWN FROM UNIVERSITY WITH A
LANGUAGE DEGREE AND PEOPLE ASSUME THAT YOU CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE FLUENTLY
WHEREAS IN ACTUAL FACT THAT WASNT THE CASE IN FACT YOU DIDNT STUDY ANYTHING
BEYOND THE SEVENTEENTH CENTURY ANYWAY AND SPEND MOST OF YOUR TIME DELVING INTO
THIRTEENTH AND FOURTEENTH CENTURY DOCUMENTS STRICTLY USELESS FROM A PRACTICAL
POINT OF VIEW BUT QUITE FUN WHILE IT LASTED QUITE FUN YES WHAT ARE THE
COURSES IF YOURE IN AN EGYPTIAN UNIVERSITY SUPPOSE ONE WAS DOING A LANGUAGE
COURSE ARE THEY REALLY LANGUAGE OR CAN YOU DO LITERATURE OR PHILOSOPHY NO
MOSTLY LITERATURE MOSTLY LITERATURE MMMM LITERATURE AND THAT INCLUDES PHILOSOPHY
AND THOUGHT AND A CERTAIN AMOUNT OF HISTORY YES AND HISTORY NOT ONLY
PHILOLOGY BECAUSE WHEN I WAS STUDYING ENGLISH I DID WHAT WAS CALLED CULTURAL
BACKGROUND WHICH IS A SORT OF STUDY OF THE TRENDS OF THOUGHT IN BRITAIN NOT
ONLY IN LITERATURE BUT IN PHILOSOPHY AND POLITICS AND EVERYTHING YES YOU HAVE
TO DO THAT TO STUDY LITERATURE OF COURSE DONT YOU I MEAN GENERALLY SPEAKING
DONT YOU THINK YES BUT ACTUALLY I THINK WE DID MORE OF THAT THAN THE PEOPLE
WHO WERE DOING ENGLISH DEGREES OH DID WE OUR PAPERS WERE IN FACT IN THEORY
HEADED EXAMINATION IN THE LITERATURE HISTORY AND THOUGHT OF A CERTAIN PERIOD
YES THATS TRUE RATHER THAN JUST THE LITERATURE AND THERE WAS CERTAINLY A BIAS
IN THAT WAY WASNT THERE YES CERTAINLY WHICH WAS AS FAR AS I WAS CONCERNED
WHAT MAINLY INTERESTED ME YES I QUITE AGREE IN FACT IF IT HAD BEEN PURE
LITERATURE I SHOULDVE BEEN COMPLETELY SUNK BECAUSE IM NOT REALLY PERCEPTIVE
AS FAR AS LITERATURE GOES I MUCH PREFER HISTORY AND I LOVE HISTORY YES IT
FASCINATES ME I LOVE HISTORY BUT I JUST DONT KNOW ANY ITS REALLY MY COMPLETE
DESPAIR HOW DID YOU COME TO DROP IT AT ELEVEN ITS EXTRAORDINARY ITS PERFECTLY
TRUE ISNT IT AN EXTRAORDINARY THING TOVE BEEN ALLOWED TO DO BUT YOU KNOW
THAT YOU WERE GOING ON TO TRY ARTS SUBJECTS ISNT IT I WASNT AT THAT POINT
WELL NO I MEAN THERE COMES A POINT IN ONES SCHOOL CAREER WHEN YOU FIND YOU HAVE
TOO MANY SUBJECTS DID YOU NOT HAVE COME TO THAT POINT OH YES I DROPPED
EVERYTHING ELSE THE VIOLIN AND THE PIANO AND I IT WAS DECIDED THAT I COULDNT
COPE WITH EVERYTHING YOU DROPPED THE VIOLIN ALTOGETHER NO I WAS DOING
THEM YOU SEE AND I DECIDED I COULDNT DO EVERYTHING SO I HAD TO CHOOSE BETWEEN
GIVING UP EITHER GEOGRAPHY OR HISTORY QUITE EXTRAORDINARY ITDVE BEEN BETTER TOVE
GIVEN UP RELIGIOUS KNOWLEDGE OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT BUT TO DO WITHOUT HISTORY
I THINK I THINK GEOGRAPHY WOULD BE MORE SENSIBLE BECAUSE GEOGRAPHY ONE CAN PICK
UP TO A CERTAIN EXTENT AFTERWARDS OH ONE DOES CERTAINLY I PICKED UP I MEAN I
DROPPED GEOGRAPHY AND I PICKED IT UP SINCE YES YES YOU PICK IT UP OF COURSE
THROUGH TRAVEL AND YOU DONT ALWAYS LEARN ABOUT THE GULF STREAM AND WHICH
WAY THE CURRENTS FLOW BUT THERES NO NEED TO TELL YOU ANYWAY UNLESS YOURE
HANGING ON TO A LOG I SUPPOSE AND THEN YOU WATCH FOR A DISASTER BUT HISTORY
SEEMS EXTRAORDINARY OF COURSE IN A STATE SCHOOL THE PROGRAMME ONE WOULDNT
YOUD BE MUCH MORE TIGHTLY ORGANIZED PERHAPS SO THAT THIS PROBLEM WOULDNT ARISE
PROBABLY MMMM BUT I DID SOMETHING SIMILAR WITH ENGLISH I MEAN I WENT ON DOING
IT BUT I DIDNT TAKE ANY EXAMINATION APART FROM I DIDNT TAKE ANY ENGLISH HISTORY
EXAMINATION AT O LEVEL BECAUSE I WAS TOO YOUNG AND THEY HAD AN AGE REGULATION
AT THAT STAGE AND SO I TOOK THE ABSOLUTE MINIMUM AND THEN I DIDNT TAKE IT SORT
OF AT ADVANCED EITHER I MEANT TO DO SO BUT I SOMEHOW DIDNT GET ROUND TO
TAKING THE EXAMINATION THE RESULT IS THAT I HAVENT GOT ANY QUALIFICATIONS AT ALL
IN ENGLISH LITERATURE AND IF I YOU HEAR A LOT ABOUT IT DID GET ROUND TO
TEACHING ITS THE ONE THING I WOULD LIKE TO TEACH OH DEAR WHAT A TERRIBLE THOUGHT
TO GO BACK AND DO O LEVEL AGAIN THAT WOULD BE ABSOLUTELY SHEER MADNESS IF I
HAD TO DO THAT NOW I DID IT IN THE DAYS WHEN THEY HAD BEFORE THIS HAPPENED
THEY HAD A THING CALLED SCHOOL CERTIFICATE AND HIGHER SCHOOL CERTIFICATE YES

I JUST MISSED THAT AND I REMEMBER FOR HIGHER SCHOOL CERTIFICATE I THREW IN
HISTORY OF ART AS A SORT OF MAKE WEIGHT AND I MUSTVE BEEN VERY CASUAL IN
THOSE DAYS BECAUSE I LEFT THE ENTIRE TOPIC TILL THE LAST WEEKEND AND READ UP
THREE CENTURIES OF ART IN ONE WEEKEND WELL NEEDLESS TO SAY I FAILED BUT AS I DID
THE DRAWING PART AND PASSED IN THAT IT WAS ALL RIGHT BUT WHAT THE EXAMINER
MUST THOUGHT WHEN HE READ IT DESCRIBING SOME FAMOUS PICTURES AND I HADNT
GOT THE FAINTEST IDEA MAKING IT UP AS I WENT ALONG HE MUSTVE BEEN QUITE
FASCINATED HE PROBABLY KEPT YOUR EXAMINATION PAPERS I WASNT AT ALL INTERESTED
IN HISTORY OF ART WERENT YOU NO I WASNT EITHER BUT I DID IT SIMPLY BECAUSE
IN CASE I SHOULD FAIL IN ONE OF THE OTHER SUBJECTS YOU SEE WHAT DID DID YOU
DO THEN WE HAD A CHOICE BETWEEN HISTORY OF ART OR HISTORY OF BRITISH
COLONIZATION
IN INDIA NOT PARTICULARLY INAPPROPRIATE ITS FUNNY BUT THATS HOW BRITAIN YOU
KNOW THE COMPANY THE INDIAN COMPANY YES YES AND THAT WAS ONE OF YOUR MAIN
SUBJECTS YES HOW INCREDIBLE I STUDIED IT THOROUGHLY IT WAS CALLED CULTURAL
BACKGROUND GOSH ALL THE ENGLISH CULTURE CONSISTS OF IS TRADING CULTURAL
BACKGROUND INCLUDED THE STUDY OF THE POLITICAL HISTORY OF BRITAIN COLONIZATION
EVERYTHING I MEAN THE EMPIRE AS SUCH AND THE TRENDS OF PHILOSOPHY WE DID HOBBS*
I REMEMBER WE WENT THOROUGHLY THROUGH LEVIATHAN HAVE YOU HEARD OF THAT BOOK
ITS A VERY DIFFICULT BOOK I NEVER GOT AS FAR AS READING IT HOW EXTRAORDINARY
AND RELIGIOUS TRENDS AT THE TIME AND THEN LITERATURE THIS WAS FOR YOUR FINAL
EXAMINATION AT SCHOOL NO NO AT UNIVERSITY OH ITS UNIVERSITY OH DID YOU THAT
WAS ALL DONE IN ENGLISH UNDER THE ENGLISH HEADING YES YES YES WE HAD
CULTURAL BACKGROUND IN ALL FOUR YEARS EVERY YEAR WE STUDIED ONE CENTURY ONE
WHOLE CENTURY AND DID YOUR CULTURAL BACKGROUND INCLUDE WORKS OF ART YES AND WHAT
PEOPLE WERE WEARING AT THE TIME NOT NECESSARILY AND WAYS OF LIFE WAYS OF LIFE
YES MUSIC SOCIAL LIFE NOT MUSIC NO NOT AT ALL BUT JUST WAYS OF LIFE SOCIETY
THAT SORT OF THING IM SURE YOU KNOW FAR MORE ABOUT IT THAN I DO RATHER
HORRIFYING ISNT IT ITS AND YOU KNOW KINGS AND QUEENS AND CONFLICTS
BETWEEN THEM AND THAT SORT OF THING LOVELY SIMPLE WAY OF PUTTING IT AND FIGHTS
BETWEEN ENGLAND AND SCOTLAND YES THERE WERE QUITE A LOT OF THEM UNFORTUNATELY
I CANT REMEMBER ANYTHING THE BLOODY SCOTS YES YOU CANT REMEMBER ANYTHING
OF IT BUT I REMEMBER I LEFT THE HISTORY OF ART ALTOGETHER JUST BECAUSE THE
TEACHER WASNT AN INTERESTING ONE THISS THE POINT ISNT IT I MEAN IT DEPENDS
SO MUCH  ON ON YES SHE WAS A VERY BAD LECTURER AND SHE MADE IT VERY BORING
SO I I JUST LEFT IT OUT COMPLETELY BUT YOU BUT IT WASNT A COMPLETE PAPER I
MEAN IT WAS A SECTION SO THAT YOU COULD BANISH IT IF YOU DIDNT LIKE IT YES I
MEAN THE SECTION WAS THE PAPER INCLUDED EITHER HISTORY OF ART OR POLITICAL
HISTORY OF ENGLAND AND I CHOSE THE POLITICAL HISTORY MMMM AND THEN WHAT LANGUAGE
PAPERS WHAT SORT OF LANGUAGE EXAMINATION DID YOU HAVE AT THAT STAGE WAS THERE
ANYTHING ON AT THE UNIVERSITY WAS THERE ANYTHING ON PHONETICS OR ANYTHING
LIKE THAT THERE NO NOTHING AT ALL AT ALL MMMM JUST PROFICIENCY IN SPEAKING
AND WRITING ENGLISH NOT EVEN SPEAKING NOT EVEN SPEAKING NO BECAUSE WE DID



OR SOMETHING THE PLACE IS USUALLY FULL OF MEDICS UP TILL HALF PAST ELEVEN
YES BUT THERE ARE SCIENTISTS DOTTED ABOUT AND IF YOU GET SITTING NEXT
TO A YOU KNOW TWO SCIENTISTS THEY ARE ALWAYS TALKING ABOUT SCIENCE
OH HOW UNINTERESTING I THINK ITS UNINTERESTING TOO I WOULD NEVER TALK ABOUT
SCIENCE HES TELLING US THAT WE SHOULD BE DISCUSSING THINGS WELL I MEAN TO A
CERTAIN EXTENT BUT WHEN EVERYBODY STARTS TALKING ABOUT IT AND I MEAN THERES
SCIENCE IF YOU DONT KNOW IT YOU DONT LEARN VERY MUCH AND YOU CANT MAKE VERY
MUCH CONVERSATION YOU JUST SIT THERE LOOKING DUMB CIGARETTE NO THANKS
THANK YOU VERY MUCH EXCELLENT ARE YOU FIRST YEAR PARDON ARE YOU FIRST YEAR
YES HE SAID HE DIDNT KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT IT YET NO ACTUALLY YOU
DONT REALLY KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT MEDICINE UNTIL FOURTH YEAR FOURTH YEAR
I THOUGHT YOU DO THE OTHER DONT KID YOURSELF WELL I MEAN OFFICIALLY YOU
DONT KNOW ANYTHING SECOND MB IS RECKONED TO BE THE MOST DIFFICULT EXAM MEDICS
HAVE TO TAKE I KNOW BUT THAT IS THINGS THAT IS ANATOMY AND PHYSIOLOGY
THAT ISNT ANYTHING ABOUT MEDICINE WELL ALL RIGHT I SEE WHAT YOU MEAN YES
WHAT A SHAME THEYVE GOT TO GO THROUGH THAT CAN YOU EVER SEE CERTAIN
FRIENDS OF OURS GETTING THROUGH THAT I CANT SEE CERTAIN FRIENDS OF OURS
GETTING THROUGH FIRST YEAR NO NEITHER CAN I WELL GET
THROWN OUT TOGETHER WELL ACTUALLY THATS WHAT A HUNDRED PERCENT OF THE PEOPLE
THINK THROWN OUT IN THE FIRST YEAR YES IT STRIKES ME LOOKING AT THIS
UNIVERSITY THATS WHAT HAPPENS TO ABOUT A HUNDRED PERCENT ITS NOT FAR WRONG
AT ANY RATE NEARER A HUNDRED THAN ZERO BUT THE THING IS IT LOOKS A BIGGER
PERCENTAGE BECAUSE ITS ALL YOUR FRIENDS ARE THROWN OUT TOGETHER WE DONT
ASSOCIATE WITH THOSE ONES THAT WORK YES THATS TRUE ACTUALLY NO THE TROUBLE
WITH MOST PEOPLE IS THAT THEY SAY OH NO I DONT DO A
SCRAP OF WORK YET WHEN THEY GET HOME THEY GET IN ALL THE WORK THEY CAN
DO YOU KNOW THEY GIVE THE IMPRESSION OF NOT WORKING THATS WHY I FAILED
YOU SHOULDNT HAVE RELAXED LIKE ME YOU SHOULD HAVE WORKED WHEN YOU WENT HOME
OH WELL WE HAVENT DONE A STROKE TONIGHT YET I WAS JUST SETTLING DOWN WHEN
ANNA* CAME DOWN WHAT DID SHE SAY AND WHAT WAS HER APPROACH SHE JUST SAID
ARE YOU EILEEN* AND FIONA* TO ME SO THEN SHE SAID I DIDNT WANT TO GO OUT
AND I DIDNT THINK EILEEN* WOULD EITHER SO I SAID JUST YOU GO UP AND ASK
EILEEN* BECAUSE SHE WAS ON TELEPHONE DUTY
I WAS ON TELEPHONE DUTY AND OF COURSE I WAS GLAD FOR ANY EXCUSE TO GET OUT
SO I HAD TO COME OUT TOO YOU ANSWERED THE PHONE IN FACT DID YOU I DID WHEN
I SAID CAN I SPEAK TO ANNA* THE PHONE WAS ENGAGED FOR RATHER A LONG TIME
WASNT IT I KNOW BUT NOT FOR THREE AND A HALF HOURS ON THE TROT
WHEN DID YOU START RINGING OH ABOUT QUARTER TO EIGHT QUARTER TO EIGHT YES
WE WERE OFF BY THEN OH BUT IT ALWAYS IS I MEAN YOU GET CERTAIN MEMBERS OF
OUR HOSTEL WHO GO ON AT SEVEN AND COME OFF AT TEN LIKE WHO WERE ONLY COMPLAINING
YOU KNOW BECAUSE WE CANT GET ON I KNOW I STARTED AT FIVE TO SEVEN ONE
NIGHT TO TRY AND GET THROUGH FROM OUR HOSTEL AND I MANAGED TO GET THROUGH
ONCE AND THE PHONE WAS ENGAGED AND I FINALLY GOT THROUGH AT TWENTY PAST TEN
OUR PHONE BOX HAD BEEN FULL ALL THE TIME AND I WAS TROTTING UP EVERY FEW
MINUTES HOW MANY PHONES ARE THERE ONE JUST ONE HOW MANY PEOPLE ARE THERE
FORTY FIVE A REAL SWITCHBOARD YOU KNOW YOU HAD TO PUT FOUR PENNIES IN
ARE YOU IN A HOSTEL NO SORE POINT THAT ISNT IT MAC* YES NO ACTUALLY
I DONT KNOW I THINK YOU GET MORE INDEPENDENT IN A MALE HOSTEL I THINK HOSTEL
IS GOOD FOR FIRST YEAR FIRST YEAR YES TO GET TO KNOW PEOPLE THATLL BE ALL
ITS GOOD FOR YOU DONT STUDY VERY MUCH YOU DONT WORK AT ALL IN HOSTEL
DONT YOU ITS GREAT FUN THOUGH SAINT LEONARDS* MUST BE MARVELLOUS I MEAN
ITS SUCH A FRIENDLY SORT OF ATMOSPHERE THERE BEING SO FEW EVERYONE KNOWS
EVERYONE ELSE I DONT I DONT KNOW ANYONE BESIDES US YOU WILL DO BY THE END OF THE
YEAR YES THEY ARE VERY FRIENDLY YOURE NOT RESTRICTED BUT I THINK YOUVE GOT MORE
FREEDOM AND YOU FEEL FREER YOU KNOW YOU DONT HAVE THE DOOR SHUT ON YOU YOU KNOW
I WOULD HAVE THOUGHT IM FREE IN A PLACE LIKE THIS BUT I HAD TO GO
AND SEE THE LANDLORD HERE AND PERSUADE HIM THAT THIS HOUSE ISNT A
BROTHEL IN SPITE OF WHAT HE THINKS I WAS JUST THINKING THAT WHEN WE CAME
WHEN HE CAME OUT SOMEONE WILL HAVE SOME EXPLAINING TO DO OH YES HE SAYS
WHY ALL THE WOMEN SO HE ASKED ME ALONG POOR CHAP ITS A LOT EASIER TO GET
WOMEN THAN MEN I ASSURE YOU THAT WOMEN WORK NOT NEARLY AS HARD AS MEN
DO THEY I CAN ASK MOST OF THE WOMEN I ASK THEY SORT OF SAY THEYVE GOT
PLENTY OF WORK TO DO THEN THEY SAY ALL RIGHT WELL COME ROUND MOST
OF THE CHAPS JUST SAY IM WORKING AND THATS IT WELL ACTUALLY I FIND THAT
WOMEN IN THE LECTURES YOU KNOW THEY MUST GET WRITERS CRAMP BECAUSE THEY WRITE
EVERY SINGLE WORD THAT THE CHAP HE SAYS DOWN DO SIGN THE BOOK WHEN YOU
CAN SPARE A MINUTE THANK YOU ITS ODD I DONT KNOW WOMEN MUST BE SO
INTELLIGENT WHO GET HERE THAT THEY DONT NEED TO WORK AT NIGHT
THATS RIGHT DEFINITELY ITS JUST THAT THEYRE WEAK WILLED THEY CERTAINLY
ARE EVERY NIGHT I START WELL I SHALL WORK TONIGHT ARE YOU STILL NOT GOING OUT
ON FRIDAY IM NOT GOING OUT ON FRIDAY ILL NEED TO GO OUT ON SATURDAY THOUGH
WE ONLY ALLOW OURSELF ONE ONE NIGHT OUT A WEEK WHAT DO YOU DO ON SATURDAY
NIGHTS STAY IN AND WORK DO YOU REALLY WE STAY IN BUT WE DONT GET VERY MUCH
WORK DONE EVER STRANGE LAST YEAR THAT THE NIGHT OF THE WEEK WAS FRIDAY NIGHT

THIS WEEK IM FRIDAY AND SATURDAY FRIDAY AND SATURDAY THIS WEEK YEAR SATURDAY
RATHER MORE THAN FRIDAY I HAVENT BEEN IN ON A FRIDAY AND SATURDAY NIGHT THIS
TERM NO I THINK I HAVE IN FACT IVE NEVER WORKED ON A SATURDAY IN MY WHOLE LIFE
TELL ME BUT WEVE TRIED UNTIL ABOUT THREE WEEKS AGO I STARTED YES REMEMBER
ONE NIGHT I WORKED RIGHT ON TILL FOUR OCLOCK IN THE MORNING BUT I ONLY
STARTED AT ONE OCLOCK AFTER A GIRL HAD GONE MISSING AND WED ALL BEEN WIDE
AWAKE WHEN SHE WAS FOUND AND SO I JUST SAID OH WELL IM GOING TO DO SOME WORK
I SAT DOWN AND I WORKED TILL FOUR OCLOCK AND AT QUARTER TO FOUR SOMEONE
KNOCKED ON THE WINDOW I HAD TO CALL IT UP AND LET HER IN I LET THAT GIRL IN
FIVE TIMES LAST TERM TWO DOWN AT THE HOSTEL THIS TERM WHO WAS THAT
JUDY* SMITH* OH IM WARY OF THAT THING WHERES THE FORGET THAT WHOS SHE IN A FLAT
WITH WAS SHE IN A FLAT OH MY GOODNESS ME DID SHE NOT JUDY* SMITH* IM SURE I DONT
KNOW SHE LIKELY WILL BE SHES NOT FIRST YEAR IS SHE NO NO I THOUGHT NOT
IM SURE I WAS INTRODUCED TO HER THE OTHER DAY HOSTEL LIFES QUITE GOOD FUN
REALLY IT DEPENDS ON THE CROWD YOUVE GOT IN I WOULDNT HAVE WANTED
TO BE IN HOLLAND* HOUSE THIS YEAR BECAUSE ALL THE GOOD CHAPS HAD LEFT YOU
KNOW ANY EXCUSE WAS BETTER THAN NONE EVEN IF IT WAS FAILING EXAMS
WERE YOU IN HOLLAND* HOUSE LAST YEAR WHAT DID YOU THINK OF IT GENTLEMANS CLUB
TOO EXPENSIVE FOR THE AVERAGE STUDENT THEREFORE NOT QUITE FULFILLING THE
PURPOSE IT SHOULD DO HOW MUCH IS IT SIX POUNDS A WEEK FIVE GUINEAS A WEEK
FIVE GUINEAS AND THE HEATING OVER AND ABOVE THAT WELL YES YOU HAVE GOT
CENTRAL HEATING WHICH COMES ON EVERY NOW AND AGAIN YOU ALSO HAVE TO PUT
A SHILLING IN THE METER EVERY NOW AND AGAIN IF YOU WANT YOUR ELECTRIC FIRE
YOU PAY FOR YOUR WIRELESSES AND SO ON WHAT DID YOU THINK OF HOLLAND* HOUSE
TO LIVE IN IVE ONLY BEEN THERE ONCE OR TWICE IS IT VERY COMFORTABLE I THOUGHT
IT WAS TOO ORNAMENTALIZED YOU KNOW EVERY ROOM YES ACTUALLY I DIDNT LIVE IN
HOLLAND* HOUSE I WAS WHAT WAS CALLED A CLUB MEMBER IN OTHER WORDS WE USED
TO LIVE IN DIGS AND GO TO MEALS ETCETERA IN HOLLAND* HOUSE THE DIGS WERE RIGHT
WELL TWO OR THREE MINUTES WALK FROM HOLLAND* HOUSE WHERE WAS THAT BLACKETT*
PLACE OH YES IS THAT JUST ACROSS IS THAT WHERE WE CAME THROUGH TONIGHT
POSSIBLY YES WELL BUT I MEAN I WENT OFF AND INTO OTHER ROOMS YOU KNOW AND I
THOUGHT IT WAS PRETTY GOOD REALLY IT WAS VERY MUCH LIKE A HOTEL REALLY DID
YOU GET EVERYTHING DONE FOR YOU EVERYTHING YES WAITED ON HAND AND FOOT
BAD TRAINING VERY BAD TRAINING BECAUSE THESE PEOPLE LATER WILL WANT
TO GO INTO FLATS AND THEY WONT KNOW HOW THE HELL TO SET ABOUT IT SOME
OF THEM ANYWAY I GO TO A DANCE THERE WHEN FOURTEENTH OH YES THE THIRTEENTH
WHAT OF FEBRUARY OF FEBRUARY YES THIRTEENTH WHAT A QUEER DAY ID HAVE THOUGHT
THE FOURTEENTH WAIT A MINUTE YOU KNOW THE THIRTEENTH IS A FRIDAY WAIT A MINUTE
IS THE FOURTEENTH A THURSDAY ITLL BE THE FOURTEENTH ITS SAINT VALENTINES DANCE
SURELY YES THATS RIGHT ITS THE FOURTEENTH AND THEN COWAN* HOUSE IS ON
THE FIFTEENTH AND THEN SALISBURY* AND SAINT LEONARDS* IS ON THE TWENTY SECOND
IS IT WHAT SAINT LEONARDS
IS IT WHAT SAINT LEONARDS* HAVING A DANCE OR A PARTY OR WHAT WELL ITS
SALISBURY* AND SAINT LEONARDS* ARE HAVING IT SORT OF JOINTLY BUT NOT
OFFICIALLY AND NOT OFFICIALLY JOINTLY IVE BEEN GETTING INTO TROUBLE OVER THAT
BECAUSE SALISBURY* PHONED ME UP AND ASKED ME IF I COULD GET PEOPLE TO GO
AND IT GOT ROUND TO JOAN* ROBERTS* EAR THATS THE IS SHE A SECRETARY SHES THE
PRESIDENT AND SHE I ASKED HER WHETHER WE COULD HAVE A JOINT PARTY AND SHE SAID
NO I DIDNT KNOW THAT SO OH BUT I JUST CLEARED MYSELF OF ALL SO I DONT KNOW
WHATS HAPPENING NOW RESPOSIBILITY AND SALISBURY* GREEN PARTIES ARE USUALLY
PRETTY HECTIC ARE THEY ARE THEY YES THE ADMIRALS HOUSE IS NEXT DOOR ISNT IT
YES THATS THE QUAINT OLD PLACE ITS FALLING DOWN JUST LIKE SAINT LEONARDS*
SAINT LEONARDS* NICER THAN SALISBURY* THOUGH ITS NOT FALLING DOWN SAINT
LEONARDS* HOSTEL THEY USED FOR SAINT TRINIANS* FILMS DID YOU KNOW THAT DID
YOU KNOW THAT THAT WAS THE FIRST THING THE TAXI DRIVER TOLD US WHEN WE ARRIVED
WEVE NEVER BEEN ABLE TO LIVE IT DOWN NOT BAD FOR A BEGINNER I DIDNT HAVE AS
MUCH SUCCESS AS THAT LAST NIGHT DID I OH BUT WE HAVE A DRAUGHT IN OUR ROOM
OH THATS GREAT VERY GOOD THAT ONE YES IT IS OH I SEE TWIST TERRIFIC DID
IT TAKE A LOT OF PRACTICE IVE BEEN MAKING THEM BY BEEN SMOKING FOR TWENTY
YEARS YOU KNOW AND IM TO BLOW SMOKE RINGS OH I WAS HOPING TO LEARN

IN MY FIRST WEEK BECAUSE I HATE SMOKING IVE ONLY GOT FOUR CIGARETTES
LEFT EILEEN* TWO MORE EACH AND THEN THEYLL BE FINISHED
YES THATS SHOCKING YES ITS SHOCKING SHOCKING HABIT WELL WE HAVENT GOT THE
HABIT ONE OF OUR FRIENDS IN THE BASEMENT HAD TOLD US THAT SHE NEVER EVER
SMOKED IN HER LIFE SO WE DECIDED TO BUY IN TEN CIGARETTES AND HAVE A NICE LAUGH
OVER TEACHING HER TO SMOKE BUT SHE WOULDNT EVEN TAKE ONE WED TO SMOKE THEM
OURSELVES AND WE HATE THEM I CAN NEVER MAKE OUT WHETHER MAC* HERE SMOKES OR
NOT SOMETIMES HE ACTUALLY I SMOKE OPS REALLY YES I NOTICED THAT HE AND I
WERE AT SCHOOL TOGETHER ONLY WE DIDNT REALIZE IT OH HE WAS JUST ONE OF THE WEE
BOYS WHEN HE WAS THERE WHICH SCHOOL WERE YOU AT KINGS SCHOOL PETERBOROUGH
OH PETERBOROUGH WHY DID YOU COME UP TO EDINBURGH WELL MY FATHER
WAS HERE SO WELL JUST COME UP HERE
YOU HAVE A LEGITIMATE EXCUSE FOR ONCE WELL ACTUALLY I AM SCOTTISH OH TRUE BRED
MACDONALD* ARE YOU A MACDONALD* OF COURSE MY MOTHER CAME FROM GLEN MORISTON
WHICH IS NEAR INVERNESS AND MY FATHER CAME FROM UIST NORTH UIST OH MY
GOODNESS STORNAWAY WELL NOT QUITE THIS FAR AND HAVE THEY LOST THEIR ACCENTS
WELL ACTUALLY MY FATHER WAS BORN IN NORTH UIST AND HE CAME OVER TO EDINBURGH
WITH HIS FATHER AND HE HAS AN EDINBURGH ACCENT NOW WELL NOT REALLY AN
EDINBURGH ACCENT JUST A SCOTTISH ACCENT WHAT DID HE WHAT DEGREE DID HE GET
MA THREE ACTUALLY PHD YES BUT WHAT MA MA IN WHAT I COULDNT JUST SAY
SOMETHING LIKE ECONOMICS I DONT KNOW I DONT REALLY KNOW ACTUALLY VAN* DUNLOP*
PRIZE WHO VAN* DUNLOP* PRIZE NEVER HEARD OF HIM OH AND I DONT KNOW HOW
MUCH ITS WORTH BUT ITS QUITE A BIT WHAT ELSE I KNOW HES GOT THREE DEGREES
I DONT KNOW WHAT THEY ARE BCOM YOU SEEM TO BE VERY INTERESTED HE STAYED
FOR ABOUT TEN YEARS MIND YOU NO HE HASNT I KNOW HES GOT A PHD IN PSYCHOLOGY
IN PSYCHOLOGY MA I THINK IM NOT SURE I KNOW HE WENT TO MORAY* HOUSE FOR A
BIT AH HES PROBABLY GOT A DIP ED THEN YES HES GOT ONE OF THOSE DIP ED
AND A DEGREE AS WELL MA YES  PHD DIP ED
WE HAD FOUR ORAL EXAMS EVERY YEAR BUT ONE WAS IN POETRY ONE IN CRITICISM
ONE IN WHAT THEY CALLED YEARS WORK WE WERE SUPPOSED TO READ SO MANY BOOKS DURING
THE HOLIDAYS AND THEN THEY WERE SUPPOSED TO ASK US QUESTIONS TO SEE IF WE HAD
READ THEM OR NOT WERE THESE EXAMINATIONS CONDUCTED IN ENGLISH YES OH YES ALL
WRITTEN EXAMS TOO WERE IN ENGLISH AND THEY WERE CORRECTED I MEAN EVERYTHING YES
THATS WHERE WE GOT OFF VERY LIGHTLY WE WERE ALLOWED IN FACT EXPECTED TO WRITE
OUR
PAPERS IN ENGLISH WERENT WE ALTHOUGH THEY WERE ABOUT FRENCH OR SOME OTHER
COUNTRIES LANGUAGE OR HISTORY WE ONLY HAD ONE PAPER AS FAR AS I REMEMBER
ONE THREE HOUR ESSAY ONE THREE HOUR ESSAY THATS RIGHT IN THE LANGUAGE NO WE
HAD ALL SUBJECTS IN ENGLISH AND WE WERE SUPPOSED TO ANSWER IN ENGLISH YES
THAT WAS QUITE ADVANCED WASNT IT THAT WOULD HAVE SLOWED ME UP CONSIDERABLY
PROBABLY IT WOULD HAVE BEEN A STANDSTILL NOW DID YOU ALL LANGUAGE DEPARTMENTS
ARE LIKE THAT ARE THEY DO YOU DO GREEK OR LATIN WE DID LATIN I DID LATIN
ALL THE WAT THROUGH YES IN THE FOUR YEARS AT THE UNIVERSITY YOU MEAN YES
THATS COMPULSORY YES ITS COMPULSORY IN ANY LANGUAGE DEPARTMENTS EITHER OR SO YOU
CHOOSE BETWEEN GREEK OR LATIN YES YES BUT MOSTLY IF YOURE DOING FRENCH OR
ENGLISH ITS TAKEN FOR GRANTED ITS MORE OR LESS TAKEN FOR GRANTED THAT YOURE
GOING TO CHOOSE LATIN YES I THINK BECAUSE AT THIS STAGE AT THE UNIVERSITY YOU
JUST CANT BE BOTHERED WITH LEARNING ANOTHER SCRIPT NO SO THEY PREFER
AND PRESUMABLY LATINS PROBABLY MORE HELP YES AND DO YOU HAVE TO TAKE OTHER
SUBJECTS AT UNIVERSITY I MEAN RELATED SUBJECTS AT ALL PROBABLY NOT WELL IN
ENGLISH WE DID DRAMA NOVEL POETRY LITERARY CTITICISM APART FROM CULTURAL
BACKGROUND AND THEN WE DID TRANSLATION FROM ENGLISH TO CLASSICAL ARABIC AND
FROM CLASSICAL ARABIC INTO ENGLISH APART FROM PHILOLOGY AND ALL THE LITERARY
THINGS YOU CAN EVER THINK OF THEN WE HAD LATIN AND FRENCH AND FRENCH TOO
YES FRENCH FOR THOSE WHO HAVE DONE FRENCH AT SCHOOL AND GERMAN FOR THOSE WHO
HAVE DONE GERMAN YES BECAUSE FRENCH OR GERMAN IS THE FIRST FOREIGN LANGUAGE
LEARNED IS IT OR NO DO YOU LEARN ENGLISH AS YOUR FIRST FOREIGN LANGUAGE IN
SCHOOL IN EGYPT WELL IN MY TIME WE HAD THE CHOICE BETWEEN ENGLISH AND FRENCH
YES BUT YOUR BEING IN THE ENGLISH DEPARTMENT MEANS THAT YOU MUST HAVE CHOSEN
ENGLISH AS YOUR FIRST FOREIGN LANGUAGE YES I SEE IS THERE A CHOICE NOW YES

OR IS IT STILL THE CHOICE NOW IS BETWEEN ENGLISH FRENCH AND GERMAN AT SCHOOL
AND THEY CHOOSE ONE LANGUAGE THEY CONCENTRATE ON ONE LANGUAGE TILL THEY GO TO
THE UNIVERSITY BUT IN MY TIME YOU CHOSE ONE LANGUAGE FIRST WHICH WAS EITHER
ENGLISH OR FRENCH THEN THREE YEARS LATER AT SCHOOL YOU LEARNED THE OTHER
LANGUAGE AS WELL OH I SEE AND HAVE YOU GOT A COMPLETELY FREE CHOICE WHEN YOU GO
TO UNIVERSITY WHAT YOULL STUDY BECAUSE ANN* HAD A GREAT FRIEND AT CAMBRIDGE
CALLED AZZA* YES WHO WAS GOING BACK TO TEACH AND AT ONE POINT SHE SAID THAT
THERE WASNT COMPLETE FREEDOM AS TO WHAT YOU COULD DO YOU KNOW WHEN YOU WENT
UP THAT THERE WAS A FAIR AMOUNT OF SELECTION YOU MEAN DURING UNIVERSITY
YES IF THEY NEEDED OR SUPPOSING YOU KNOW IT WAS FELT THAT THEY WANTED TO
EXPAND IN ONE DIRECTION SAY ENGINEERING OR SOMETHING THERE WAS A FAIR AMOUNT OF
DIRECTION OF STUDENTS COMING IN THIS STARTED ONLY RECENTLY OH ITS FAIRLY RECENT
YES I THINK ITS I THINK YOURE RIGHT YES I MEAN I THINK ITS SINCE THEY WENT
BACK THEYVE WRITTEN AND PROBABLY SINCE NINETEEN FIFTY FOUR OR FIFTY FIVE
SOMETHING LIKE THAT AND ITS ONLY BECAUSE THERE ARE TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THE
UNIVERSITY BECAUSE UNIVERSITY EDUCATION IS FREE REALLY YOU JUST PAY A NOMINAL
SUM OF MONEY YES AND ISNT IT IN YES AND ITS IN EGYPT THAT THEY NOW HAVE NIGHT
UNIVERSITY AND DAY UNIVERSITY DID I READ THAT SOMEWHERE DO THEY YES IM SURE
I SAW AN ARTICLE SOMEWHERE WHERE ROOMS AND SO ON ARE BEING USED FOR A DUEL
PURPOSE A DOUBLE SHIFT SYSTEM OF STUDENT BECAUSE THEYVE GOT SO MANY THEY MUST
HAVE OPENED WHAT THEY INTENDED TO WHEN I WAS IN EGYPT THEY INTENDED TO OPEN A
PRIVATE UNIVERSITY OH REALLY YES AND EMPLOY MEMBERS OF STAFF UNIVERSITY
MEMBERS OF STAFF TO TO WORK THERE IN THE EVENINGS BECAUSE AT THE UNIVERSITY
AT LEAST IN CAIRO AS FAR AS I KNOW THE LECTURES START AT EIGHT OCLOCK AND
THERE ARE LECTURES TILL EIGHT OCLOCK IN THE EVENING GOODNESS ME TWELVE HOURS
LONG NEARLY YES IT DOESNT MEAN THAT YOU WORK ALL DAY LONG BUT THERERE LECTURES
TILL EIGHT OCLOCK EVERY DAY AND THE REASON THEN FOR THIS SORT OF DIRECTION
IS NOT THEY THAT THEY THAT THEY MUST HAVE SO MANY SCIENTISTS OR ENGINEERS OR
YOU KNOW THE GOVERNMENT THINKS THISS HOW IT SHOULD BE ITS SIMPLY THAT THEY
CANT REGISTER MORE THAN A CERTAIN NUMBER OF STUDENTS ON ANY GIVEN COURSE YES
WELL SO THE REMAINDER HAVE TO GO ELSEWHERE IS THE MORE OR LESS THE IDEA YES
THE IDEA NOW IS IF YOU HAVE TOO MANY THEY TAKE THEY HAVE A CERTAIN NUMBER TO
BE ACCEPTED IN EVERY COLLEGE AND IN YOUR APPLICATION FORM YOU WRITE WHICH
IS YOUR FIRST CHOICE IF YOU WANT FOR INSTANCE MY BROTHER WANTED TO JOIN THE
FACULTY OF ENGINEERING BUT HE COULDNT GET INTO THE FACULTY OF ENGINEERING
BECAUSE THEY ALREADY CHOSE SOME WHOSE MARKS WERE HIGHER THAN HIS SO THEY THEIR
CHOICE WAS FULFILLED BUT NOT HIS YES SO HE HAD TO CHOOSE A COMPLETELY
DIFFERENT FACULTY SO HE HAD TO GO TO ANOTHER COLLEGE YES BUT THEY JUST CANT DO
ANYTHING ABOUT IT BECAUSE THIS IS THE ONLY WAY OF RESTRICTING JOINING
UNIVERSITIES ON ONE HAND AND LIMITING THE NUMBER OF PEOPLE JOINING SORT OF
FACULTY OF ARTS FOR INSTANCE FACULTY OF LAW WE HAVE SO MANY GRADUATED THAT THEY
JUST DONT HAVE ANY JOBS ITS A FANTASTIC SITUATION IS THIS A FAIRLY RECENT
YES IS THIS A FAIRLY RECENT SITUATION THIS THAT THEY HAVE SO MANY SO
MANY UNIVERSITY GRADUATES YES YES HAS IT ONLY COME IN SINCE NASSER* TOOK
OVER THEN THE FREE UNIVERSITY EDUCATION OR WHAT HAPPENED BEFORE IT STARTED
I THINK IT STARTED SINCE THE FREE UNIVERSITY ECUCATION WHICH WAS JUST ABOUT
IT WAS ABOUT TWO YEARS EFORE NINETEEN FIFTY TWO I THINK HAVE YOUR STANDARDS
GONE DOWN AS A RESULT OR NOT YES OH YES THEY HAVE NOT IN THE SCIENTIFIC
FACULTIES REALLY BUT IN THE ARTS BECAUSE THEY RESTRICTED THE NUMBER OF
STUDENTS JOINING THESE FACULTIES NOT ONLY THAT NOW THE YOU CANT JOIN ANY OF
THESE COLLEGES UNLESS YOU HAVE ABOUT EIGHTY PERCENT IN ALL SUBJECTS ITS
QUITE HIGH ISNT IT SO THE STANDARD IS REALLY VERY HIGH IN MEDICAL COLLEGES
ENGINEERING COLLEGES AND ALL THESE BUT THE STANDARD IS VERY LOW IN THE
FACULTY OF ARTS AND LAW AND ALL THESE PLACES WELL WHAT HAPPENS TO THESE
GRADUATES WHEN THEY COME OUT AND THERE ARENT JOBS FOR THEM THEY JUST HAVE
TO GO WELL THEY JUST HAVE TO ACCEPT JOBS WHICH ARE NOT FOR I MEAN FOR
QUALIFIED PEOPLE DO THEY TEACH OR I MEAN YOULL FIND VERY OFTEN PEOPLE WHO
HAVE BA IN LAW WORKING AS JUST CLERKS OR SOMETHING AND GETTING A VERY LOW
SALARY YES DEPRESSING BUT HOW CAN THE COUNTRY AFFORD THAT I MEAN IS IT THOUGHT
TO BE A GOOD THING BY AND LARGE YOU MEAN FOR PEOPLE TO SPEND FIVE YEARS OR

FOUR YEARS AND THEN NOT HAVE A JOB THAT FULFILLS THEIR NO THEY ARE TRYING THEIR
BEST TO DISCOURAGE THEM NOW FOR INSTANCE PEOPLE DONT LOOK DOWN ON TECHNICAL
SCHOOLS AS THEY USED TO IN THE PAST IN THE PAST NOBODY WOULD EVER THINK
OF JOINING A TECHNICAL SCHOOL INSTEAD OF JOINING THE ORDINARY SECONDARY
SCHOOL BECAUSE THAT MEANT THAT OH HES SORT OF HES NOT AS GOOD AS MMMM
TECHNICAL THE OTHER BOYS A TECHNICAL SCHOOL IS PARALLEL TO THE ORDINARY
SECONDARY SCHOOL YES YES BUT YOU I THINK YOU ONE CANT JOIN THE UNIVERSITY
UNLESS YOU GET ABOUT SEVENTY FIVE AFTERWARDS I MEAN YOU BECOME A TECHNICIAN AND
ALL MANUAL WORK IS NOT VERY MUCH LOOKED UP TO IN MY COUNTRY WELL AT LEAST TILL
VERY RECENTLY ARE UNIVERSITY TEACHERS FAIRLY HIGHLY PAID NOT REALLY NO
NOT WHO ARE THE BEST PAID THEN WHAT IS THE BEST PAID PROFESSION IN EGYPT THE
DOCTORS IS THERE A STATE HEALTH SERVICE NO BUT UNIVERSITY TEACHERS ARE
COMPARATIVELY WELL PAID BECAUSE THEY DONT ITS A DIFFERENT SYSTEM ALTOGETHER
FROM GOVERNMENT PAYMENT I MEAN THEIR SALARIES DONT COME FROM THE GOVERNMENT
ITS A SORT OF UNIVERSITY SYSTEM BY ITSELF OH I SEE AND PROMOTION AND EVERYTHING
IS A UNIVERSITY SYSTEM OH I SEE BUT IN AND ONCE YOU GET IN ON IT I MEAN WHEN
YOU GO BACK NOW TO ALEXANDRIA OR WHEREVER IT IS YOURE GOING WILL YOU BE
ASSURED OF A CAREER AND ADEQUATE SALARY AND YES IF I GO IF THERE IS I HAVE A
JOB I MEAN ITS IMPLIED IN THE CONTRACT THAT I HAVE A JOB BUT WHETHER AS AN
INSTRUCTOR OR A LECTURER IM ENTITLED TO A LECTURERS JOB WHEN I GO BACK BUT
IF THEY HAVENT GOT ONE VACANT FOR ME WHEN I GO BACK I HAVE TO BE AN INSTRUCTOR
FOR SOME TIME WHAT WHATS THE EXACT DIFFERENCE AN INSTRUCTOR AT THE
UNIVERSITY OR INSTRUCTOR IS THE LOWEST MEMBER OF STAFF YES YES I SEE
A LECTOR I SUPPOSE WOULD BE HERE SORT OF YES I SEE PROBABLY AS ASSISTANT
LECTURER HERE MMMM YES BUT THE DIFFERENCE IN SALARY BETWEEN AN INSTRUCTOR
AND A LECTURER IS FANTASTIC ITS ABOUT TWENTY POUNDS PER WEEK A MONTH A MONTH
A MONTH REALLY OH YES THATS A LOT ISNT IT YES YES PROBABLY THE WORK IS
NOT SO VERY DIFFERENT NOT REALLY USUALLY AN INSTRUCTOR IS SUPPOSED TO DO
MORE LECTURES THAN THE OR MORE TUTORIALS THAN A LECTURER THATS WITH EVEN WITH
ALL THESE PEOPLE THERES A TUTORIAL SYSTEM IS THERE YES BUT THE TUTORIALS
ARE SO CALLED TUTORIALS HOW MANY STUDENTS SIT IN A TUTORIAL SIX AT A TIME OR
I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE DOING SOME TUTORIALS IN CAIRO UNIVERSITY AND I HAD
FORTY STUDENTS IN MY CLASS THAT WAS A TUTORIAL FORTY OH MY GOODNESS HEAVENS
HONESTLY AND THAT WAS A TUTORIAL IMPOSSIBLE REALLY AND IF YOU THINK THAT
THESE WERE FORTY AND THEY WERE GROUP SAY A AND THEN WE HAD ABOUT TEN
GROUPS YOU KNOW AND EACH OF THEM WAS FORTY AND THAT WAS ONLY THE FIRST YEAR
STUDENTS IN THE ENGLISH DEPARTMENT THERES THE WONDER IT CERTAINLY LOWERS THE
STANDARD THIS IS THIS IS PATRICIAS* CARD HERE CHAPELET DE VANCE THE WINDOWS
BY MARTISSE I THINK OH YES I SEE WHICH I THINK IVE BEEN TO IVE GOT THE MOST
LOVELY BOOK ON TUTANKHAMEN HAVE YOU SEEN IT NO DAVID GAVE ME FOR CHRISTMAS OH
ITS ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUS AND MOST BEAUTIFULLY PRODUCED DO HAVE A LOOK WHEN
YOUVE SEEN THAT YOU THINK YOUVE REALLY ALMOST AS GOOD AS SEEN THE TREASURES
THEMSELVES ITS SIMPLY LOVELY MOST BEAUTIFULLY PRODUCED THATS MY SUMMER
HOLIDAY CARD THATS WHY I PICKED IT UP ABOUT SIX MONTHS HENCE AS YOU SEE I
HAVENT INSPECTED THEM THIS WAS YOUR TRIP DOWN YUGOSLAVIAN COAST YES
ZEIDA WHERE IS THAT SOMEWHERE ON THE COAST FOR CHILDREN NOT BEING TOO TRYING
WHATS THAT A COLUMN LEFT FROM SOME ANCIENT TEMPLE I SUPPOSE ITS A ROMAN
COLUMN MMMM WHY DO THEY SAY HIS EXCELLENCY SARWAT* OKASHA* I DONT KNOW
WHY ISNT HE EXCELLENT OH IS THIS IS THAT WHATS HIS EXCELLENCY WELL ITS A TITLE
ACCORDED TO AMBASSADORS CERTAINLY I DONT KNOW JUST AMBASSADORS ITS A COURTESY
TITLE WHO ELSE IS ENTITLED TO TO ITS NOT A ROYAL TITLE NO NO NO AMBASSADORS
CERTAINLY HAVE IT DO YOU THINK THERES ANY BELIEF IN THE STORY OF THE CURSE
I DO BELIEVE IN IT DO YOU BELIEVE IN THAT YES DO YOU DO YOU THINK THAT LORD
CARNARVEN* AND THOSE WHO DIED SOON AFTER WERE UNDER SOME SORT OF CURSE FOR
HAVING VIOLATED THE TOMB YES BECAUSE SO MANY ACCIDENTS SO MANY THINGS HAPPENED
IN EGYPT ANY OF THESE PEOPLE WHO REALLY SORT OF FIDDLED WITH THESE THINGS THEY
ALWAYS HAD AN EXTRAORDINARY DEATH WHATS THE THE STORY THAT IF YOUVE BEEN
INVOLVED IN OPENING A TOMB YES YES THAT THOSE DIGGINGS OUT THERES A CURSE
LAID ON THOSE WHO VIOLATED THE TOMB OF THE KING AND IN FACT LORD CARNARVEN*
CONTRACTED SOME INFECTION DIDNT HE THE FOLLOWING YEAR IT WAS WITHIN TWELVE

MONTHS I THINK REALLY AND THEN DIED AND THERES A STORY IN THAT WHICH I HADNT
HEARD BEFORE OF HOW HIS FAVOURITE DOG AT HOME HOWLED AT THE SAME TIME AND
LAY DOWN AND DIED TOO GOOD GRACIOUS AND THEN ONE OF HIS FELLOW WORKERS
I THINK RAN INTO DIFFICULTIES DIDNT HE DIE I CANT REMEMBER I CANT
REMEMBER THE INS AND OUTS OF IT BUT I KNOW THAT THE BEST THE BEST EGYPTOLOGIST
IN EGYPT HE WAS REALLY AN EXCELLENT MAN AND HE WAS THE BEST AMONG ALL THE
EGYPTIANS WHO WORK IN THESE THINGS HE COMMITTED SUICIDE AT THE AGE OF
FORTY FOR ABSOLUTELY NO REASON FANTASTIC AND WHERE HE JUST THREW HIMSELF IN
THE NILE HE WAS JUST FOUND DROWNED IN THE NILE HORRIBLE JUST FOR NO REASON
WHATSOEVER AND NOBODY TILL NOW KNOWS WHY HE COMMITTED SUICIDE GOSH IT DOES
LOOK A LOVELY BOOK ITS ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUS THE MOST LOVELY ILLUSTRATIONS
HOW FANTASTIC AND THE PATIENCE THEY MUSTVE HAD WHEN THEY
OPENED THAT DOOR AND SAW THOSE TREMENDOUS TREASURES IT TOOK THEM SIX YEARS TO
GET THEM OUT REALLY YES AND THEY HAD TO EACH ONE WAS RESTORED ON THE SITE
BEFORE IT WAS SENT TO THE MUSEUM AND THEY HAD TO DO IT UNDER THE MOST
APPALLING DIFFICULTIES BECAUSE AS SOON AS IT WAS KNOWN OF COURSE DIGNITIES
AND TOURISTS AND ROYALTY ALL CAME FLOCKING IN THEIR THOUSANDS THEY ALL
EXPECTED TO GO IN AND SEE THE TREASURES AND TO SEE THE LATEST
PIECE THAT HAD BEEN BROUGHT OUT AND RESTORED AND PRESERVED AND THEY HAD TO
CARRY ON ALL THIS WHILE YOU KNOW WHILE DOING THEIR WORK AND THE PATIENCE
YOU WOULDVE THOUGHT THEY WANT TO RUSH IN AND SEE WHAT WAS THERE THIS IS
MAGNIFICENT THE MOST LOVELY THINGS ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUS I SAW THE CONTENTS OF
THIS TOMB IN CAIRO MUSEUM OF ANTIQUITIES IS IT I SUPPOSE ITS GOT A SPECIAL
YES A SPECIAL SECTION GALLERY ITS REALLY FABULOUS DO YOU THINK THAT THERE ARE
ANY OTHER COMPARABLE TOMBS LEFT AT ALL ARE PEOPLE STILL LOOKING OR OH YES
IF ANYBODY DIGS OUT AND FINDS AN OLD JAR OR SOMETHING DO YOU THINK OH THEY
STILL GET THRILLED ABOUT IT THEY THINK THEYVE FOUND A WHAT FUN YES EVERYONE
IN EGYPT WHEN YOU DIG OUT SOMEWHERE AND YOU FIND SOMETHING ANTIQUE IT HAS GOT
VALUE OR AT LEAST MOST OF WHAT THEY FIND YES BUT SUCH A SUCH A TREASURE AS THIS
BECAUSE THEYD NO IDEA IT WAS THERE THEY WERE LOOKING FOR SOMETHING ELSE
I THINK WHATS THE STORY WHEN IT WAS DISCOVERED I KNOW VERY LITTLE ABOUT THIS
NINETEEN ELEVEN WAS IT IM NOT QUITE SURE WAS IT AFAF* MMMM SOMETHING LIKE THAT
IM IT WAS JUST BEFORE THE FIRST WORLD WAR YES YES AHA I THINK ABOUT
NINETEEN ELEVEN LORD CARNARVEN* HE WAS ONE OF THESE AMATEUR ARCHEOLOGISTS MMMM
HE WASNT A PROFESSIONAL AT ALL HED A LOT OF MONEY AND TOOK IT UP AS A SORT OF
HOBBY REALLY SOMEONE SUGGESTED TO HIM HE MIGHT PUT HIS MONEY INTO DOING THIS
SORT OF THING IN EGYPT AND HE SPENT SEVERAL SEASONS THERE WITH A MAN CALLED
CARTWRIGHT* I THINK WHO WAS THE BEST KNOWN EGYPTOLOGIST AT THAT TIME AND THEY

STOPPED WITHOUT HITTING ME OH GOOD THE ONLY REAL ACCIDENT THAT IVE EVER HAD
IN FOG AND ICE AND THERE WAS A BIG TRUCK PARKED ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD ABOUT
THREE FEET AWAY FROM THE SIDE OF THE ROAD AND IT WAS VERY THICK FOG AND A MINI
HAD GONE INTO THIS TRUCK WELL THE MINI HAD JUST TOUCHED THE OFFSIDE OF THIS
TRUCK WITH ITS NEARSIDE WING AND SO IT MEANT WHEN I CAME ALONG MY SIDE OF THE
ROAD WAS COMPLETELY BLOCKED AND UNFORTUNATELY I WENT INTO A FOUR WHEEL SKID
BEFORE COMING UP TO THIS MINI AND AT THAT TIME I DIDNT KNOW HOW TO DEAL WITH
FOUR WHEEL SKIDS AND SO I WENT INTO THE MINI YOU HIT IT SIDEWAYS ON ABOUT TWELVE
 CARS WENT INTO ME AND THEN A FRIEND OF OURS CAME ALONG AND HE HE DECIDED TO
TRY AND OVERTAKE THE LOT AND SO HE WENT INTO EACH ONE SORT OF BANGING THEM
SIDEWAYS AS IT WERE AND OH THIS WAS IN DAYLIGHT BECAUSE OF THE FOG NEEDLESS TO
SAY I TREAT FOG WITH GREAT RESPECT NOW YES I KNOW THIS KEEPS HAPPENING WITH
THESE MULTIPLE COLLISIONS IN FOG YES YES YES WERE YOU ALL RIGHT THOUGH AS A
RESULT OF THIS OH YES OH YES THERE WAS NOONE INJURED ALWAYS THE WORST ACCIDENTS
IVE SEEN ONES WHERE YOUVE GOT A CAR SQUASHED BETWEEN TWO HEAVY LORRIES
OH YES AND IT SEEMS SUCH A PITY YOU KNOW YOU CANT DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT IF YOUVE
 GOT A DEFECTIVELY BRAKED LORRY BEHIND YOU AND ONE STRAIGHT AHEAD YOU CANT GET
OUT OF THE WAY THERE ARE A TREMENDOUS NUMBER OF ACCIDENTS INVOLVING LORRIES
ARENT THERE AND ITS ALWAYS THE PERSON IN THAT CASE ITS THE PERSON NOT TO BLAME
 USUALLY YOU SEE WHO GETS KILLED YES DO YOU HAVE SAFETY BELTS IN YOUR CAR YES
DO YOU WEAR THEM I DO MY PASSENGERS DONT ALWAYS MY PASSENGERS WELL MY PASSENGER

DOES BUT I VERY RARELY WEAR THEM BECAUSE I FEEL TOO RESTRICTED IN THEM WELL I I
LIKE FEELING BRACED LIKE THIS YES I MUST SAY I ALWAYS WEAR IT CAN YOU REACH THE
HEATER QUITE EASILY OH YES AND THE WIRELESS AND THINGS LIKE THAT WELL THE
WIRELESS IS THE FURTHEST THING AWAY BECAUSE THATS ON I DONT KNOW IF YOU KNOW
WHERE MY WIRELESS IS ITS ON THE VENT AHA ITS NOT AN ATTACHED WIRELESS ITS A
TRANSISTOR AND I PUT IT ON THE PASSENGERS VENT FOR WINDSCREEN DEMISTING YOU KNOW
 I SEE AND I CAN REACH THAT TO TURN IT AND TUNE IT WHILE WEARING A SAFETY BELT
YES NO WELL A FRIEND OF MINE HAD I DONT KNOW IF I TOLD YOU THIS BEFORE WELL I
HAD TWO FRIENDS WHO WERE IN A MINI WITH SAFETY BELTS AND THE ONE WHO WAS DRIVING
 WAS KILLED BUT THE ONE WHO WAS THE PASSENGER WAS SAVED BUT CERTAINLY WOULD HAVE
 BEEN KILLED IF HE HADNT BEEN WEARING A SAFETY BELT AND HE WAS YOU KNOW SEVERELY
BRUISED YES YES AND INJURED ALL WHERE THE SAFETY BELT WAS BUT ITD PREVENTED
HIM ACTUALLY FROM BEING THROWN OUT OF THE WINDSCREEN AND NOT ONLY HURT OH YOU
KNOW IM FAIRLY CONVINCED THAT THEY DO AVOID INJURY WELL BAD INJURIES BUT ITS
JUST THAT I FIND THEM TOO UNCOMFORTABLE AND I SEE ITS STRANGE THIS QUESTION OF
SAFETY BELTS BECAUSE YOU KNOW LOTS OF PEOPLE ITS RATHER LIKE SMOKING THEYRE
INTELLECTUALLY CONVINCED THAT THEYRE VALUABLE YES BUT NEVERTHELESS DONT QUITE
FEEL THAT THEY THEMSELVES WANT TO WEAR THEM OR HAVE THEM YES I KNOW WITH OUR
CAR IN THE FAMILY AT HOME IT WAS ME WHO WENT ON AT MY FATHER UNTIL HE GOT
SAFETY BELTS FITTED AND THEN IT WAS HIM WHO WENT ON AT ME WITH MY CAR UNTIL I
GOT SAFETY BELTS FITTED WELL I WENT ON AT MY FATHER TO HAVE SAFETY BELTS FITTED
IN FACT I BOUGHT THEM FOR HIM FOR CHRISTMAS AND THEN EVERY TIME HE CAME ALONG
TO SEE US HE WAS NEVER WEARING THEM AND I NAGGED HIM AND NAGGED HIM TO WEAR THEM
 YOU SEE YES BUT WELL NOBODY NAGS ME BUT I DID MANAGE TO GIVE UP SMOKING GOOD
YES I USED TO SMOKE TWENTY FIVE A DAY AND I USED TO INHALE EVERY BREATH BUT I
MANAGED TO GIVE THAT UP THATS JOLLY GOOD ISNT IT SO I HAVE GOT SOME WILL
POWER IM FORTUNATE ABOUT SMOKING BECAUSE I NEVER STARTED SO I NEVER HAD THE
PROBLEM OF GIVING IT UP OH OF COURSE THE MAIN REASON I THINK THOUGH WAS THAT
I WANTED TO DO SKIING AND I FOUND I WAS OUT OF BREATH ALL THE TIME SO YES AND
YOU CANT SMOKE ALL THE TIME WHILE YOURE SKIING EITHER CAN YOU NO NO ITS A
BIT DIFFICULT I MUST SAY THE THING THAT ANNOYS ME WITH OTHER PEOPLE IS NOT SO
MUCH CIGARETTE SMOKERS BUT PIPE SMOKERS ITS A GREAT PITY THAT THEYVE DECIDED
THAT PIPE SMOKING ISNT DANGEROUS BECAUSE I DONT KNOW IF YOU KNOW IN HALLIDAYS*
THURSDAY MORNING CLASS AND FRIDAY MORNING OH YOU DONT COME TO THEM NO THERES A
MAN THERE WHO SMOKES A PIPE OH IT GIVES OFF THE MOST FRIGHTFUL ODOURS YOU KNOW
MAKES YOU COUGH AND SPLUTTER YES WELL HE SITS THERE QUITE OBLIVIOUS COVERING
THE ROOM WITH THIS POISON THE OF COURSE THE TROUBLE WITH PIPE SMOKERS IS THAT
THEY SEE THESE ADVERTS OF MEN IN CARPET SLIPPERS AND WITH PIPES SORT OF PUFFING
AWAY AND IN NOVELS IT ALWAYS SAYS ABOUT THEM OH THAT HE WAS A NICE COMFORTABLE
SORT OF CHAP OR OR THE SORT WHO LIKED TO WALK ACROSS THE HEATH AND HE HE SMOKED
ERINMORE* TOBACCO OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT YES WELL I KNOW MY FATHER SMOKES A PIPE
 AND SO DOES MY BROTHER NOW ACTUALLY I THINK YOU KNOW FROM OTHER PEOPLES POINT
OF VIEW ITS EVEN WORSE THAN CIGARETTES YES EVEN THOUGH IT MAY NOT BE WORSE
FROM THE SMOKERS OWN POINT OF VIEW BECAUSE CIGAR SMOKERS WELL THEY ALWAYS FEEL
THAT WELL THERES SOME PEOPLE WHO SAY OH WHAT A WONDERFUL SMELL I DO LOVE
CIGAR SMOKE AND SO THEY FEEL AS THOUGH THEYRE DOING EVERYBODY A FAVOUR BY
SMOKING I MUST SAY THE REACTION I ALWAYS GET FROM SMELLING CIGAR SMOKE IS TO
THINK GOSH THAT REMINDS ME OF GERMANY OR HOLLAND DO YOU KNOW YES YES WELL THE
BLACK TOBACCO SMELL AS WELL ISNT IT IS IT I DONT KNOW YES OH DEAR POOR JOHN*
YES HAVENT YOU GOT ANYBODY TO DARN IT FOR YOU WELL I DONT KNOW IS IT WORTH
DARNING I MEAN ITS COMING TO BITS ALL THE WAY ROUND HERE I THOUGHT IT WAS ABOUT
 ON ITS LAST LEGS OH YES I THINK SO ISNT IT DO YOU DARN SHIRTS YES YES ONE DOES
GOODNESS ME I ALWAYS ASSUMED ONE THREW IT AWAY ILL TAKE IT HOME TO MY MOTHER
AT CHRISTMAS ACTUALLY LAUNDRIES WILL WONT THEY DONT THEY PUT NEW COLLARS AND
CUFFS ON THINGS I DONT KNOW HOW IS ONE GOING TO DO THIS WITH MATERIAL THOUGH I
MEAN OH YES OH YOU JUST YOU TURN IT OR YOU TAKE A BIT LET ME SEE DO YOU TAKE A
BIT FROM UNDER HERE THATS RIGHT YOU JUST TURN THAT BIT OVER AND THEN RECOVER IT
ITS ITS COME ALL THE WAY AROUND YOU SEE THIS WELL IT SEEMS A PITY WITH JUST
THAT TINY LITTLE BIT GONE TO REPLACE WELL I THINK ON THE OTHER SIDE ITS GOING
YES IT IS ISNT IT YES AND OF COURSE THE COLLAR IS TOO THIS IS AN OLD SHIRT WELL

I THINK PERHAPS WHAT THEY DO THEY JUST UNDO THIS SEAM AND THEN THEY JUST TURN
IT ROUND AND YOU HAVE TO WELL WELL TUCK THAT IN YES THEN YOU HAVE A NEW ONE
ILL GIVE IT TO MY MOTHER AND SHE CAN PUT IT ON THE MACHINE YES VERY PRETTY THIS
 YOU KNOW RED WAISTCOAT AND BLUE AND WHITE SHIRT WELL I THOUGHT I NEED I NEEDED
SOMETHING TO BUCK MY SPIRITS UP TODAY YOU SEE YES YES DID THEY TELEPHONE YOU
OR SEND YOU A TELEGRAM WELL THEY STILL HAVENT INFORMED ME OFFICIALLY ACTUALLY
OH I SEE YOU HEARD FROM ELEANOR* YES NO FROM PROFESSOR ALLEN* AHA WHO WROTE A
NOTE SAYING YOU KNOW HOW I MUSTNT THINK THAT ITS A REFLECTION ON ME AND HOW
THEY HAD TWO EXCELLENT CANDIDATES AND HOW IT WAS A VERY DIFFICULT DECISION TO
MAKE AND ALL THIS SORT OF THING OH HAD ELEANOR* PUBLISHED A LOT NO SHES GOT AN
ARTICLE COMING OUT IN THE TRANSACTION OF THE PHILOLOGICAL SOCIETY OH YES WHICH
IS ONE DEFINITE THING SHES GOT OVER ME ALSO I THINK MAINLY THAT SHES GOT A
LECTURESHIP AT THE MOMENT AND I HAVENT YES YES YES AND THIS IS A BIT UNFAIR
THIS IS ONLY DUE TO THE DIFFERENT POLICIES OF SOAS AND US YOU SEE YES YES BUT OF
COURSE SHE WOULD HAVE A STEP DOWN AGAIN NOW TO LECTURER A STEP DOWN WELL ITLL
BE SIDEWAYS SORRY TO ASSISTANT LECTURER OH TO ASSISTANT LECTURER OH REALLY YES
BECAUSE THEY AT CAMBRIDGE YOURE NOT ALLOWED TO BE A LECTURER UNLESS YOURE
TWENTY EIGHT YEARS OLD GOOD LORD HEAVENS SHE ISNT WELL ISNT THAT STUPID YES
BUT MIND YOU THE SALARY SCALE IS NOT EQUIVALENT I MEAN CAMBRIDGE IS A CUT
ABOVE ANYHOW OH YES THE ASSISTANT LECTURER I THINK STARTS WHERE I AM NOW AFTER
TWO YEARS HERE AND GOES UP QUITE A LOT HIGHER HOW LONG DO YOU THINK SHELL
HAVE TO WAIT BEFORE SHE CAN GO WILL SHE GET BE ABLE TO HAND IN HER NOTICE
RIGHT AWAY WELL IT DOES DEPEND I THINK SHE CANT REALLY DEMAND TO GO UNTIL THE
END OF THE YEAR ITS A MATTER OF NEGOTIATION BETWEEN CAMBRIDGE AND SOAS YOU KNOW
 WHAT HAPPENED WITH CHRIS* BALL* WHO WENT TO OXFORD ROUGHLY THE SAME TIME OF
YEAR LAST YEAR HE WENT IN FACT IN APRIL AND THEYRE RATHER SHORT STAFFED IN
SOAS AT THE MOMENT BECAUSE MITCHELL* HAS GONE AND BARBER* ISNT FULLY TRAINED
YET AND SOMEBODY IS AWAY I DONT KNOW YES YOU WOULDNT BE INTERESTED TO MOVE
ACROSS TO SOAS PRESUMABLY OH NO I DONT THINK SO NO IM QUITE SATISFIED HERE
AT THE MOMENT YES I MEAN AS I SAY I WASNT AT ALL TIRED OF THIS JOB BUT ITS
JUST THAT OPPORTUNITIES TO GET BACK TO CAMBRIDGE ARE RATHER RARE AND THIS
SEEMED ONE TO TAKE UP THOUGH IN FACT BEING IN LONDON HAS ITS COMPENSATIONS
DOESNT IT CERTAINLY CERTAINLY IT DOES YES BUT ALSO ITS DISADVANTAGES YES
I MEAN IM NOT A LONDONER AND I CANT PRETEND THAT I REALLY LIKE LONDON AS A
PLACE TO LIVE I THINK IT NEEDS GETTING USED TO ITS A IT IS A DEFINITE STATE OF
MIND I LIKE LONDON I I LOVE I I WISH I LIVED NEARER LONDON ID LIKE TO LIVE
WHAT I WOULD HAVE LIKED TO HAVE DONE WAS GET ONE OF THOSE OLD YOU KNOW THOSE
HUGE OLD HOUSES IN THE SOUTH EAST THAT PEOPLE ARE DOING UP AND YES WHERE YOU
HAVE SUCH LOFTY ROOMS YOU CAN DO A LOT WITH YES I KEEP THINKING ABOUT GETTING
A FLAT YOU KNOW AND THEN ID STOP THINKING ABOUT THIS THINKING ID PROBABLY
NOT BE IN LONDON VERY MUCH LONGER ANYHOW NOW I SHALL HAVE TO START THINKING
ABOUT IT AGAIN I THINK THERE MIGHT BE QUITE A LOT TO BE SAID FOR LIVING IN
SOMEWHERE LIKE QUEENS SQUARE YOU KNOW REALLY QUITE CLOSE TO HERE YES YES OR
ALTERNATIVELY IN THE AREA WHERE I AM NOW GOLDERS GREEN WELL IN THE EAST END ITS
  MUCH CHEAPER BUT THERE YOU HAVE THE ADVANTAGES OF BEING MORE OR LESS IN
WALKING DISTANCE IF IF YOU GO TO THE THEATRE OR ANYTHING IN THE EAST END YES
WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THE EAST END BETHNAL GREEN NO A BIT NEARER THAN THAT JUST
ACROSS THE RIVER ROUND NEAR WATERLOO OH ID NEVER CALL THAT THE EAST END
LAMBETH BERMONDSEY WHAT DOES ONE CALL THAT SOUTH WELL ITS BERMONDSEY YES AND
CLAPHAM IS IT OH WELL THATS NOT NEAR WATERLOO CLAPHAM YES WANDSWORTH PROBABLY
I DONT KNOW WHERE THEY ARE THESE ARE JUST NAMES CAMBERWELL AND CAMBERWELL THATS
 MORE LIKE THE IDEA YES WELL I HAVE SOME FRIENDS WHO LIVE IN WANDSWORTH YOU
KNOW NEAR CLAPHAM JUNCTION AND IT SEEMS QUITE A ITS A VERY ROUGH AREA BUT I
DONT THINK THIS IS YOU KNOW NECESSARILY ANY WORSE FOR THIS OH BUT THESE OH NO
THESE ARE BECOMING THE AREAS TO LIVE IN ITS NOT NEARER THAN GOLDERS GREEN
THOUGH YOU KNOW IT TAKES ME AS LONG TO GET FROM IN FACT IT TAKES ME LONGER TO
GET FROM HERE TO CLAPHAM THAN IT DOES TO GET TO GOLDERS GREEN BECAUSE WERE ON
THE NORTH SIDE OF THE NUCLEUS AND THE CENTRE YOU SEE AND ITS ALWAYS THE WORST
THING TO TRAVEL THROUGH AND MUCH SLOWER BY TRAIN AS WELL AS BY CAR AND ITS
BEST REALLY AS FAR AS I CAN SEE TO LIVE SOMEWHERE IN THE DIRECTION OF THE

DIRECTION YOU ARE AT WORK FROM THE ABSOLUTE CENTRE IF NORTH YES HOW LONG DOES
IT TAKE YOU TO GET IN DEPENDING ON THE TRAFFIC FIFTEEN MINUTES TO THIRTY
MINUTES I SEE IT TAKES ME AN HOUR FROM DOOR TO DOOR WHICH IS WHICH IS NOT BAD
YOU KNOW CONSIDERING ITS THIRTY FIVE MILES YOU DRIVE IN DO YOU MMMMM YOU DRIVE
IN YES YES WELL WHEN I COME BY TUBE ITS IT TAKES BETWEEN THIRTY SIX OR SO AND
THIRTY MINUTES OR A BIT LONGER ON SUNDAYS WHEN THERE ARE FEWER TRAINS OR LATE AT
NIGHT YES ITS PARTICULARLY LATE AT NIGHT THAT A CAR IS VALUABLE BECAUSE OH YES
 YES YOU KNOW PUBLIC TRANSPORT IS SLOWER BUT THE CAR IS QUITE A LOT QUICKER THAN
 USUAL THE ONLY TROUBLE IS YOU KNOW YOU CANT GO DRINKING BEFOREHAND NO NO I AM
YOU KNOW EXTREMELY SENSITIVE TO ALCOHOL EVEN YOU KNOW ONE GLASS IS QUITE ENOUGH
TO MAKE ME FEEL ENTIRELY UNSTABLE I DONT KNOW YES I MEAN REALLY WHETHER YOU
EAT OR NO YES I HAD AT LUNCH TODAY I HAD A ONE LIGHT ALE WITH MY STEAK YOU
KNOW FIRST COURSE AND BY THE END OF LUNCH I WAS YOU KNOW ALMOST FALLING OVER
GOOD LORD DOESNT LAST VERY LONG BUT IT OH I MUST ASK YOU TO A PARTY WONDERFUL
COMPANY ACTUALLY ITS CONVENIENT BECAUSE IT MEANS YOU CAN ALWAYS GET DRUNK
VERY CHEAPLY YES BUT ON THE OTHER HAND IT IS A BIT TEDIOUS WHEN YOURE JUST
SOCIAL DRINKING ONE FAINTS IT IT DOES AFFECT ME I THINK AND I I REALLY SHOULDNT
DRINK AND DRIVE BUT ITS NOT ALWAYS APPARENT AND WHICH IS RATHER A NUISANCE
AND WHAT TIME IS IT HAVE WE THREE MINUTES PAST FIVE HAVE WE HAVE WE DONE AN
HOUR WE DID NO WE DIDNT START TILL ABOUT TWENTY FIVE PAST IN FACT OH I SEE BUT
YOU WANT TO GO NOW DONT YOU YOU WERE IN A HURRY WELL I ALL I HAVE IS THAT I MUST
BE READY BY JUST BEFORE FIVE THIRTY BECAUSE THATS WHEN EVERYBODY IS HANDED IN
THEIR TRANSCRIPTIONS AND I START DOING THE MARATHON OF MARKING READY TO GIVE
THEM BACK AT SEVEN OCLOCK DO YOU DO YOU MANAGE TO MARK THEM ALL AND HAVE HAVE A
MEAL YES GOOD LORD ITS GETTING WORSE NOW BECAUSE MORE AND MORE OF THEM ARE
GETTING MORE AND MORE SOPHISTICATED AND SO DO INTONATION PATTERNS YOU SEE AHA
WHEN THEY STARTED OFF OF COURSE HARDLY ANYBODY WANTED TO TACKLE INTONATION SO
IT WAS JUST A MATTER OF CORRECTING THE PHONEMES BUT ITS A BIG CLASS YOU SEE
YES I REGULARLY HAVE ABOUT TWENTY TWENTY SCRIPTS TO MARK GOODNESS ME BUT ONE
GETS INTO THE HABIT OF MARKING THINGS YOU KNOW YOU JUST READ THROUGH A LINE AND
JUST MARK EVERYTHING THATS WRONG YES YES BECAUSE YOU GET VERY MUCH USED TO THE
KIND OF MISTAKES THAT PEOPLE MAKE AND DISCERN THEM QUICKLY YOU YOU DONT HAVE A
SORT OF PRO FORM OF THE CORRECT THING OR DO DO YOU DO DIFFERENT THINGS OR OH I
DO I DO I YOU KNOW GIVE THEM THAT BUT OF COURSE THERE ARE LOTS OF ALTERNATIVES
AT ANY POINT YOU SEE THIS ALLOWS THEM TO MARK THE INTONATION EITHER IN THE
OCONNOR* AND ARNOLD* WAY OR IN THE HALLIDAY* WAY OH IS THERE IS THERE NO CHOICE
OF OF INTONATION NO THIS IS THIS IS THERE IS THERES A VAST CHOICE OF INTONATION
 THIS IS YOU KNOW ONE POSSIBLE SELECTION ONE THAT SEEMS TO BE TO BE A REASONABLE
 ONE I SEE THAT THAT BUT HOW HOW WOULD YOU KNOW WHAT I WAS THINKING OF WAS HOW
DO YOU KNOW THAT ANYTHING WAS NECESSARILY IN THE WRONG INTONATION WELL YOU SAY
IT ALOUD IF IT SOUNDS VERY FUNNY I DONT USUALLY SAY THINGS ARE WRONG I QUERY
THEM YOU KNOW AND I SEE YES FOR EXAMPLE WE FOUND THAT WELL THERES ONE SCOTSMAN
IN THE CLASS AND HE PUT DOWN A LOT OF THINGS THAT SEEMED TO ME EXTREMELY
UNLIKELY SO I QUERIED THEM AND HE ACTUALLY THEN READ THEM OUT IN CLASS AS HED
SAY IT AND EVIDENTLY WHAT HED WRITTEN DOWN WAS WHAT HE SAID YES BUT BECAUSE IT
WAS SCOTTISH YES IT SEEMED IT WAS IT WAS APPROPRIATE FOR HIM IT CERTAINLY
WOULDNT HAVE BEEN FOR RP HAVE THERE BEEN A LOT OF STUDIES ON INTONATION OF
OTHER DIALECTS OTHER THAN RP I SHOULDNT SAY SO NO THERES BEEN VERY LITTLE ON RP
REALLY VERY FEW PEOPLE KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT INTONATION AND NOBODY REALLY HAS DONE
ANY EXHAUSTIVE TEXTUAL ANALYSES ARNOLDS* DONE A CERTAIN AMOUNT AND HALLIDAY*
HAS NO AND AND THE AMERICANS ARE ABSOLUTELY HOPELESS AS FAR AS I CAN SEE AT
INTONATION WHAT DO YOU MEAN WHEN YOU SAY HOPELESS WELL SOME OF THEM KNOW
SOMETHING ABOUT IT SUCH AS PIKE* YES BUT THERE ARE THERES THIS PITCH LEVELS YOU
 SEE AND VERY FEW PEOPLE REALLY UNDERSTAND THE INTONATION AND THEY THEY DONT
YOU KNOW INCORPORATE IT INTO THE GRAMMAR THEY DONT THINK IT PLAYS ANY VERY
IMPORTANT ROLE WHEREAS IN HALLIDAYS* THE GREAT MERIT IN MY VIEW IS TO IS THAT
HES DEMONSTRATED HOW IMPORTANT INTONATION IS AND YES HOW IT CAN BE INCORPORATED
 INTO THE GRAMMAR AND WHAT ARE THE GRAMMATICAL SYSTEMS THAT ARE EXPOUNDED BY
INTONATION DO YOU THINK THAT THATS A POSSIBLE REASON WHY ENGLISH AND AMERICAN
HUMOUR DOESNT ALWAYS COINCIDE BECAUSE BECAUSE OF DIFFERENT INTONATION PATTERNS

GOSH THATS A BIG QUESTION I DONT KNOW IT MIGHT BE ON THE ACTUALLY IT ITD BE
QUITE INTERESTING TO TAKE SOME RECORDINGS OF I KNOW A TERRIFIC NUMBER OF MIDDLE
WEST AMERICANS OVER HERE BUT OF COURSE THEIR INTONATION WOULD BE AFFECTED A
LITTLE BY THEIR BEING IN THIS COUNTRY YES A VERY DIFFICULT THING TO DEMONSTRATE
ANYHOW NO I THINK WHAT DOES HAPPEN IS THAT OFTEN WE GET THE WRONG SORT OF
IMPRESSION OF THEIR ATTITUDE IF YOU LIKE BECAUSE OF THEIR INTONATION WHEN YOU
KNOW THIS REGULAR AMERICAN FORM OF THE QUESTION DO YOU WANT SOME YES WHICH IS
WHAT HALLIDAY* WOULD CALL MINUS TWO ISNT IT MINUS TWO DOT WHEREAS WE SHOULD
NORMALLY SAY DO YOU WANT SOME OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT WHICH SOUNDS TO US MUCH
MORE ANIMATED AND SO WE GET THE IMPRESSION THAT THE AMERICANS ARE RATHER DRY
AND UNINTERESTED IN A WAY YES YES THIS DOESNT MEAN THAT TO THEM AT ALL ITS JUST
 THEIR NEUTRAL I KNOW AT FIRST WHEN I WAS WORKING FOR AMERICANS I USED TO FIND
IT VERY DIFFICULT TO TAKE THEM SERIOUSLY YES IT JUST DIDNT SEEM TO TIE IN WITH
THE SORT OF VOICE I WAS EXPECTING TALKING IN A SILLY WAY YES YOU FELT LIKE
GIVING SILLY ANSWERS BACK YES I DONT KNOW I FIND IT VERY DIFFICULT NOT TO
IMITATE PEOPLES ACCENTS BACK AT THEM YOU KNOW AMERICANS PARTICULARLY OH YES
OH YES YES OH I FIND THAT WITH IRISH PEOPLE OR OR SCOTS PEOPLE NOT SO MUCH THE
WELSH OR PERHAPS THATS BECAUSE IM WELSH MYSELF AND SO I DONT WANT TO ONE VERY
CHARACTERISTIC THING ABOUT WELSH INTONATION IS USING THE RISE FALL TONE FIVE
ISNT IT YES THOUGH ARNOLD* SAYS THEY DO THIS IN ESSEX AS WELL AND HE HAS IT
VERY FREQUENTLY IN HIS OWN SPEECH AND HE SAYS THIS IS YES A REMNANT OF ESSEX
DIALECT AND DONT THEY DO IT UP ON THE NORTH EAST COAST AS WELL I DONT KNOW I CAN
 NEVER ANSWER THAT KIND OF QUESTION ABOUT DIALECTS YOU KNOW PEOPLE SAY DOES THIS
 THING HAPPEN OR NOT IN A PARTICULAR PLACE PERHAPS HENRY* WILL BE ABLE TO TELL
US PERHAPS HE WILL OH YES YES YOU ALWAYS IMITATE MY WAY OF SAYING PERHAPS
HENRY* DOES NO YOU DO I DONT I DONT EVEN HEAR IT WHEN YOU SAY IT VERY SENSITIVE
YES YES WELL SHALL WE STOP NOW YES I THINK SO GOODBYE AFAF*
NOW IS THE GREEN LIGHT MOVING OR NOT IT ISNT MOVING NOT YET AH NOW ITS MOVED IT
 MUST BE EXTREMELY SENSITIVE HAVE SOME CHOCOLATE AFAF* THANK YOU I WENT TO SEE
THE GOYA EXHIBITION THE OTHER DAY THATS A GOOD SUBJECT OF CONVERSATION FOR YOU
YES YOU CAN DO THE TALKING YOU HAVENT BEEN TO IT NO ACTUALLY I THOUGHT WED
WAIT TILL YOU CAME BECAUSE WEVE BEEN TALKING ABOUT GOING ID LOVE TO HAVE
GONE WHAT A SHAME I WENT ON WEDNESDAY ACTUALLY I HAD THE DAY OFF AND I WAS
AMAZED BECAUSE THERE WAS SUCH A CROWD OF PEOPLE THERE I MEAN IT WAS QUITE
UNCOMFORTABLE REALLY ONE COULD HARDLY SORT OF SEE FOR THE HEADS IN THE WAY
WHY WAS THAT IT WAS THE FIRST EXHIBITION THEYVE HAD LIKE THIS WHERE ITS
BROUGHT SO MUCH OF ONE MAN TOGETHER ISNT IT COVERING THE WHOLE SPAN OF HIS
WORKING LIFE I THINK THAT ONE IS UNUSUALLY INTERESTING FOR THE ACADEMY I MEAN
YOU SOMETIMES GET INTERESTING ONE MAN THINGS AT THE TATE ITS BEEN VERY WELL
PUBLICIZED YES TOO BUT ON A WEEKDAY ONE WOULDNT EXPECT TO HAVE QUITE SUCH
CROWDS NO AND ALSO HOW MUCH DO YOU PAY TO GET IN QUITE A LOT FIVE BOB FIVE
BOB WASNT IT YES WHICH IS FAIRLY PROHIBITIVE FOR SOME YOU KNOW IF YOU TAKE
THE FAMILY PARTY AND SEVERAL CHILDREN AS WELL YOU FIND YOURSELF PAYING THIRTY
SHILLINGS TO GET IN THEY MUST REALLY WANT TO GO I THOUGHT ITS HALF PRICE FOR
STUDENTS IS IT IT IS BUT IM NOT A STUDENT UNFORTUNATELY WHAT WAS IT LIKE WAS
IT INTERESTING YES IT WAS I WAS A BIT DISAPPOINTED I DONT QUITE KNOW WHY I
THINK PROBABLY MAINLY BECAUSE OF THE CROWDS AND ACTUALLY ID JUST BEEN I JUST
TRAVELLED UP FROM DEVON I WAS A BIT TIRED YOU KNOW ONE SAW THE THINGS THAT ONE
HAD SEEN REPRODUCED IN A COLOUR SUPPLEMENT OR OTHER AND RUSHED ACROSS AND SORT
OF TRIED TO PEER AT IT THROUGH THE CROWDS ALMOST TOO MUCH DID YOU DO IT TAKE IT
HISTORICALLY THERE DIDNT SEEM TO BE MUCH ACTUALLY IN THE EXHIBITION I MEAN
THERE WAS A VAST AMOUNT BUT ONE COULD SORT OF IF THERE HADNT BEEN PEOPLE ONE
COULDVE WANDERED THROUGH QUITE HAPPILY I MEAN I GOT TO THE END BEFORE I WAS
EXPECTING TO BUT WHAT WAS ANNOYING WAS THAT THE CATALOGUE HAD OBVIOUSLY BEEN
PREPARED BEFORE THEYD HUNG THE PICTURES SO YOU HAD A CHRONOLOGICAL OR AT LEAST
SOME FAIRLY LOGICAL ORDER IN THE NUMBERING IN THE CATALOGUE AND THEY COMPARE
NUMBER FORTY NINE WITH NUMBER FIFTY ONE BEING A SKETCH OF THE OTHER OR SOMETHINF
 OF THE SORT AND IN FACT FORTY NINE AND FIFTY WERE MILES APART IN THE HOW
MADDENING AND YOU HAD TO WALK ALL THAT WAY NOT ONLY THAT BUT YOU DIDNT KNOW
WHERE TO START LOOKING FOR THE OTHER AND AGAIN AS I SAY SINCE YOU COULDNT WALK

ROUND VERY EASILY YOU JUST DIDNT TRY TO LOOK FOR THE OTHER AND THEN SORT OF
FIVE MINUTES LATER YOUD FIND IT AND SORT OF TRY AND THINK WHAT THE OTHER YOU
KNOW YOUD PLAY A SORT OF PELMANISM READING THE NOTES THEN TRYING TO MEMORIZE
THEM FOR WHEN YOU ACTUALLY CAUGHT SIGHT OF THE PICTURE YES AND TRYING TO
REMEMBER OH YES EIGHTY FOUR I MUST LOOK OUT FOR THAT ONE AND SPEND ALL THE TIME
LOOKING AT THE CATALOGUE AND THE NUMBERS AND VERY LITTLE TIME LOOKING AT THE
PICTURES ONE WAY AND ANOTHER YES HOW LONG DID YOU SPEND THE TROUBLE IS REALLY
WITH THESE EXHIBITIONS ONE OUGHT TO GO MORE THAN ONCE YOU OUGHT TO GO FIRST
AND HAVE A QUICK LOOK ROUND AND THEN GO AGAIN WHEN YOUVE GOT PLENTY OF TIME TO
SPARE AND WHAT ONE REALLY OUGHT TO DO IS NOT BE MEAN AS I AM AND HIRE A
CATALOGUE FOR A SHILLING BUT BUY ONE FOR ABOUT TEN SHILLINGS AND THEN SORT OF
STUDY IT BEFORE ONE GOES THE SECOND TIME YOU CANT DO THAT I DONT THINK YOU
REALLY ENJOY IT IF YOU STUDY THE CATALOGUE NO PERHAPS YOURE RIGHT BUT ACTUALLY
I ALWAYS HAVE RATHER A PLEASANT MEMORY OF GOYA BECAUSE WHEN I WAS IN SPAIN IN
MADRID IT WAS TERRIBLY COLD YOU KNOW AS IT WAS WITH YOU THE OTHER DAY AND I
FOUND I WAS A STUDENT THEN AND VERY POOR AND I FOUND THAT THE PRADO WAS
ABSOLUTELY VERY WARMLY HEATED I SPENT THE WHOLE DAY IN THE PRADO IN THE WARMTH
SORT OF LOOKING AT THESE GOYA PICTURES HOW GORGEOUS GLORIOUS WHATS THE PRADO
ONLY PICTURES OR ALL SORTS OF ART TREASURES NO JUST PICTURES PAINTINGS I THINK
PAINTINGS AS FAR AS I REMEMBER ARE MOST OF THE GOYA STILL IN SPAIN OR SOME
I DONT KNOW SOME SEEMED TO QUITE A LOT SEEMS TO COME FROM PRIVATE COLLECTIONS
IN SPAIN I MEAN YOU KNOW THE DUCE DE SOMEBODY SOMEWHERE OR OTHER YOU KNOW
SOMETHING QUITE A LOT FROM THE PRADO THOUGH SOME IN THE PRADO ARE FRESCOES
ITS A SORT OF BIG STATE MUSEUM LIKE THE NATIONAL GALLERY IN MADRID IN SPAIN
SO THEY COULDNT OF COURSE SEND THEM THEYD SOMEHOW DONE SOMETHING SO THEYD
MOVED THEM INTO THE MUSEUM DID YOU AGREE I ONLY READ THE SUNDAY TIMES ARTICLE
DID YOU READ THAT ART MAGAZINE SECTION I LOOKED AT IT THEY SAID WHAT A SATIRICAL
 EYE HE HAD YOU KNOW WHEN HE PAINTED FOR THE COURT HE WOULD PAINT THE OUTWARD
AND VISIBLE SIGNS OF A PERSON AND WHEN YOU LOOK CLOSER INTO THE PICTURE YOU
COULD SEE HED GIVEN HIM A SORT OF WEAK MOUTH I THINK THATS VERY TRUE VERY TRUE
YES YOU CAN SEE THROUGH A MAN IN THE PAINTING BUT THE EXTRAORDINARY THING WAS
THAT PEOPLE THEMSELVES DIDNT REALIZE WHAT HE WAS DOING ITS INCREDIBLE BECAUSE
ACTUALLY I MEAN THERES SO MUCH CHARACTER IN THESE FACES THAT YOU COULD TELL AT
A GLANCE WHO ARE THE PEOPLE HE LIKES AND WHO HE DIDNT LIKE REALLY I MEAN YOU
DONT HAVE TO BE A TERRIFIC ART CRITIC TO SORT OF OR EVEN A SORT OF PSYCHOLOGIST
TO NOTICE STRANGE FEATURES IN THEIR MOUTHS I MEAN ITS QUITE BUT AS HE WAS
PLAYING ON A GOOD WICKET THEN THEY WERE SO PLEASED TO BE FLATTERED AND PAINTED
AT ALL THAT PERHAPS THEY WERE WELL THEY WERE PAYING FOR IT YOUD EXPECT THEM TO
BE FLATTERED REALLY I MEAN I WAS REALLY SURPRISED THAT THE SITTER OR PATRONS
SHOULD HAVE ACCEPTED THE PICTURE PERHAPS THEY DIDNT I DONT KNOW WHY WAS HE SO
TERRIBLY POOR HE WAS WASNT HE MOST OF HIS LIFE AND DIED IN EXTREME POVERTY AT
THE END SO FAR AS I REMEMBER WELL I THINK HES ALTHOUGH HE HAD GREAT DIFFICULTY
IN BEING ACCEPTED AT COURT IN THE EARLY REIGNS AND THERE WAS A CHANGE OF KINGS
WASNT THERE AND HE WAS ACCEPTED BECAME A COURT PAINTER AND THEN SURELY HE
MUSTVE MADE A FAIR AMOUNT OF MONEY THEN THERE WAS ANOTHER WAR I THINK BECAUSE
THERE ARE SORT OF FAMOUS HORROR PICTURES WHICH CAME TOWARDS THE END OF HIS
LIFE YES THATS A PENINSULAR THATS MARLBOROUGH WELLINGTON WELLINGTON YOUVE
GONE ON RECORD I HAVENT GOT A HISTORY I GAVE UP HISTORY WHEN I WAS ELEVEN SO
IM AFRAID YOURE RIGHT ON THAT WELLINGTON YES THERE WERE QUITE A LOT OF
PICTURES OF WELLINGTON WERE THEY FLATTERING OR NON FLATTERING WELL IMPERSONAL
I DONT KNOW THERE DIDNT SEEM TO BE QUITE SUCH A SORT OF I CANT EVEN REMEMBER
THE WORD LET ALONE HOW TO SAY IT PRETENTIOUS CHARACTERS THAT SEEMS WRONG AS ONE
MIGHT EXPECT BUT I THINK THAT AFTER THAT WAR HE GAVE UP THE COURT OR THE COURT
GAVE UP HIM I DONT KNOW WHICH YES THEN HE WENT AND THEN HE WENT OFF AND DID THE
SERIES OF PICTURES IN THE HIGHWAYS AND BYWAYS YES STRANGE THINGS THEN HE
ACTUALLY DIED IN EXILE DIDNT HE MOSTLY OF THE POOR AND THE LOWLY SAD BUT
ITS VERY WELL WORTH GOING TO HAVE YOU SEEN THE FILM ABOUT HIS LIFE NO
HAVE YOU YES I SAW IT IN EGYPT I CANT REMEMBER THE NAME OF THE FILM YOUD
THINK THEYD SORT OF BRING IT OUT NOW SOME SECOND FEATURE SOMEWHERE IT WAS
WITH AVA* GARDNER* OH REALLY NOT A DOCUMENTARY BUT NO CONCENTRATED ON HIS LOVE

LIFE MORE THAN ANYTHING ELSE I DONT SEE WHY NOT OH JENNIFER* YOU SEEM TO
HAVE DONE SOME RESEARCH INTO CHRISTINA* I DIDNT WE SAW GRETA* GARBO* IN
QUEEN CHRISTINA* THE MOST WE THOUGHT GARBLED VERSION PROBABLY OF HER LOVE
AFFAIRS FASCINATINGLY ENOUGH I MEAN THE ACTUAL FACTS SEEM TO BE FAIRLY
TRUE WERE THEY AS I LOOKED IT ALL UP IN THE ENCYCLOPAEDIA BRITTANICA THE
NEXT DAY THERES A LONG ARTICLE ABOUT HER AND THE MAN WHO WROTE IT
OBVIOUSLY HADNT ANY USE FOR HER AT ALL OH REALLY YOU MEAN HER NOT THAT
SHE HAD THIRTEEN LOVERS BUT SHE THAT SHE FELL FOR THE THE STORY WAS HAVE
YOU SEEN THAT FILM AFAF* NO NO THAT THE SPANISH ENVOY CAME SHES A SWEDISH
QUEEN SHES A SWEDISH QUEEN IN THE THIRTY YEARS WAR TIME WHICH WAS IN THE
SIXTEENTH CENTURY THE DAUGHTER OF GUSTAVUS* ADOLPHUS* THATS RIGHT WHO CAME TO
THE THRONE WHEN SHE WAS A VERY SMALL CHILD AND WAS BROUGHT UP AS AS A BOY
AS HEIR TO THE THRONE THATS TRUE AND IN ORDER FOR HER TO HAVE AN HEIR
THEY TRIED TO MARRY HER OFF TO ONE OF THE LEADING HOUSES IN EUROPE AND
THE SPANISH ENVOY CAME TO PLEAD FOR HER HAND ON BEHALF OF THE KING OF
SPAIN AND SHE ACCORDING TO THE FILM THEY MET AT AN INN IN THE MIDDLE OF A
SNOWSTORM DIDNT THEY AND THEY SPENT SEVERAL NIGHTS THERE AND FELL IN LOVE
WITH EACH OTHER WITHOUT KNOWING EACH OTHER WITHOUT KNOWING EACH OTHER WHEN
HE ARRIVED AT THE COURT SHE KNEW WHO HE WAS YES BUT HE DIDNT KNOW WHO SHE WAS
OF COURSE AND THEN WHEN HE SAW HER IN IN ALL HER SPLENDOUR THE LOOK OF
ASTONISHMENT WAS COMPLETE IT WAS A GLORIOUS SCENE WHEN SHE CAME THIS WASNT
REPORTED IN THE ENCYCLOPAEDIA BRITTANICA WASNT IT WASNT IT THIS WASNT
VALENTINO* BROWN* WHO WAS THE MAN WHO PLAYED THIS PART I CANT REMEMBER
AT ALL WHAT IN THE FILM YES I CANT REMEMBER HE WAS THE SECOND HE WAS
THERE WERE TWO GREAT LOVERS WERENT THERE IN THE THIRTIETH AS FAR AS I
REMEMBER VALENTINO* WAS WASNT IT VALENTINO* BROWN* ONE OF THEM THIS MAN WAS
THE OTHER ONE OH I HADNT REALIZED THAT YES HE HAD ONLY ABOUT TWO EXPRESSIONS ONE
WAS ASTONISHMENT AND THE OTHER WAS LASCIVIOUSNESS HE PLAYED PARTLY LASCIVIOUS
HE PLAYED SORT OF RAPIDLY FROM ONE TO THE OTHER THROUGHOUT THE COURSE OF
THE ENTIRE FILM BUT GRETA* GARBO* WAS TERRIFIC OH SHE WAS MARVELLOUS YES
I ALMOST WANTED TO GO BACK THE NEXT WEEK TO SEE THE OTHER FILM YES ID LIKE
TO HAVE SEEN THE NEXT ONE THE THIRD OF THE SEASON BUT IT WAS JUST BEFORE
CHRISTMAS I WAS SO BUSY ARE THEY HAVING A SEASON OF HER FILMS ITS OVER
NOW UNFORTUNATELY OH IS IT YES ID LOVE TOVE SEEN THE OTHER ONE ID LOVE
TOVE SEEN ANNA KARENINA I SHOULD THINK SHED BE TERRIFIC IN THAT YES YES
I READ THE NOVEL YES ITS GLORIOUS ISNT IT ITS MARVELLOUS BUT JENNIFER*
WAS IT TRUE THAT THE END THE RIVALRY BETWEEN THE ENVOY AND THE LOCAL THE
CHIEFTAIN WAS SO INTENSE THAT THEY FOUGHT A DUEL AND THE ENVOY WAS KILLED
AND CARRIED DYING I DONT KNOW ABOUT THAT SUCH DETAILS ARE NOT PUT IN BUT
IS IT TRUE THAT SHE RENOUNCED THE CROWN ITS A VERY AFFECTING SCENE VERY VERY
WELL DONE WHERE SHE RENOUNCED THE THRONE YES WHAT BECAUSE THE BURDENS OF THE
ESTATE WERE TOO GREAT FOR HER PERHAPS SHE WANTED TO GO OFF SHE WANTED
PRIVATE HAPPINESS I CANT REMEMBER THE DETAILS NOW I KNOW IT WAS RATHER
AMUSING TO READ IT BECAUSE IT STATED SORT OF PARALLEL OR SIMILAR FACTS TO WHAT
THE FILM STATED BUT SEEN FROM COMPLETELY THE OPPOSITE POINT OF VIEW FROM
A RATHER CRITICAL VERY CRITICAL SORT OF HISTORICAL VIEWPOINT AND IT SAID
ONE OR TWO STRANGE THINGS CERTAINLY SHE GOT INVOLVED WITH LOTS OF LOVERS I
DONT KNOW ABOUT THE EXACT NUMBER AND THEY WANTED TO MARRY HER OFF TO THIS
PRINCE CHARLES* OR WHATEVER HIS NAME WAS COUNT WHATEVER HE WAS THE NOTORIOUS
LEADER OF THE SWEDISH TROOPS IN THAT WAR YOU MEAN YES AND THE COUSIN ALTHOUGH
SOME RATHER COMPLICATED THING SHE WANTED TO ABDICATE AND SHE WAS PERSUADED
NOT TO AND THEN ACCORDING TO THE ENCYCLOPAEDIA BRITTANICA FOUNT OF ALL
KNOWLEDGE STRANGELY CHANGED AND SHE LOST ALL INTEREST FOR THE WELFARE OF THE
COUNTRY AND SORT OF BEGAN TO INDULGE IN STRANGE REVELRIES AND EVEN CONTEMPLATED
AN ALLIANCE WITH SPAIN SO IT SAYS HOW AMUSING AND SO ABOUT TWO YEARS LATER
OH THEN WHAT DID SHE DO AT THE TIME WHEN SHE FIRST THOUGHT OF ABDICATING
WAS RENOUNCE HER I MEAN STATE PRINCE CHARLES* OR WHATEVER HIS NAME WAS YES I

WELL NO BECAUSE THIS IS JUST AN INTERNAL ARE YOU AT UNIVERSITY ACTUALLY DOING
PHARMACY NO ITS RADIOGRAPHY RADIOGRAPHY NO YOU DO IT AT THE ROYAL I SEE HEY

I KNOW A RADIOGRAPHER WHATS HER NAME CHRISTINE* SOMETHING OR OTHER
KNOW CHRISTINE* NOT CHRISTINE SMITH* SHORT HAIRED SHORT HAIRED YES THATS RIGHT
NO NOT WHAT YEAR ARE YOU FIRST OH SURELY THEY WONT BE TOUGH ON YOU IN YOUR
FIRST YEAR OH YES THEY ARE ITS ALL RIGHT AFTER YOUR FIRST YEAR HOW MUCH
TWO PLEASE I MEAN I MAY BE SLIMMING BUT THANKS ONE LEVEL ONE PLEASE THANK YOU
SHE WANTS A BIT OF MILK IN HERS HAVE YOU GOT MILK YOUR MILKS
COMING IN A MINUTE DONT PUSH YOUR LUCK HOW MUCH SUGAR OLD CHAP OH JUST
A BIG ONE DYOU MIND THE BLUE ONE ANNE* IS THAT RECORDER THING ON NOW YES
SO WERE ACTUALLY BEING RECORDED YES ACTUALLY BEING I DONT KNOW WHO YOU THINKS
GOING TO PRINT THIS BOOK OF YOURS QUITE HONESTLY ITS SORT OF
BUT ITS NOWHERE NEAR FINISHED WELL AND ALL THIS STUFF ABOUT ODD BLACK BOX
HAVING A SLAVE SITTING INSIDE IT THATS YOU IS IT BILL* OUR SLAVE IS VERY
OBEDIENT ALSO LITERAL MINDED WHAT DOES THIS PROVE DOESNT PROVE ANYTHING
LOST THE MILK IT PROVES THAT MILKS ON THE TABLE ITS A FULL BOTTLE YES
BUT THERE SHOULD BE SOME IN A JUG WELL FOUND IT ARE YOU ACTUALLY GOING
TO GET THIS PRINTED BILL* OR NOT OH I DONT KNOW BECAUSE THATS WHAT I STARTED
WRITING A BOOK ONCE AND WHAT ABOUT DAVE* ABOUT COEDUCATION BECAUSE I WAS
AT ONE OF THESE VERY FREE AND EASY YOU KNOW PROGRESSIVE COED SCHOOLS
YES OH WAS IT OH WERE YOU WHICH ONE SIDKIRK* OH YES THATS RIGHT I REMEMBER
AND I STARTED WRITING A BOOK ABOUT THIS AND I WROTE A CHAPTER AND SENT IT OFF
TO HEINNEMAN* AND THEY AGREED TO PUBLISH IT IF I SENT THE REST AND IT WAS
OF SIMILAR QUALITY I SOON GOT FED UP AFTER A BIT AND NEVER NEVER FINISHED
IT WAS PITY WHAT TELL ME WHAT ARE YOU DOING NOW BECAUSE LAST
TIME WE SAW YOU YOU WERE DRIVING AN ICE CREAM VAN OR SOMETHING OH I WAS STILL
AT THE UNIVERSITY HEAVENS YES I KNOW BUT IN YOUR SPARE TIME IM TUTORING
AT BASIL* PATTERSONS* AT THE MOMENT THATS RIGHT SO YOU COULD COME
AND TUTOR ME IN MY PHYSICS AND MATHS AND THINGS YES I ID LOVE TO WELL IM
DOWN ON THE LIST FOR PHYSICS BUT NO REALLY I COULDNT TUTOR PHYSICS NOW
JUST LOOKING AT THIS I COULDNT TELL YOU WHY RMS VALUES ARE USED THERE
WHAT PART ROOT MEAN SQUARE SQUARE YES DYOU WANT A TEASPOON HOW DID IT FINISH
LOOK IM VERY EXPENSIVE INDEED BECAUSE I THINK YOU SEE NEXT YEAR YES PLEASE
IM HARDLY LIKELY TO PASS MY EXAMS THIS YEAR IVE GOT SOME MORE SOMEWHERE
SO NEXT YEAR I SHALL PROBABLY BE LOOKING FOR A JOB OH TELL YOU JOSEPHINE*
HELLISH BEING OUT WITHOUT BEING WITHOUT A GRANT ITS REALLY MISERABLE
DYOU THINK SO YES I DO BETTER OFF THAN I WAS WITH ONE NOW YOU ARE NOW WELL
YOUVE GOT A JOB YOU SEE A PERMANENT ONE WHAT DO
THEY PAY YOU FOR THIS JOB IM PERMANENT TEMPORARY WHAT WHAT SORT OF MONEY DO
YOU GET OH ENOUGH TO LIVE WHAT ARE YOU MAKING OFF THIS JOB OH IM MAKING
AS MUCH AS I WOULD HAVE GOT IF I HAD A GRANT ARE YOU OH THATS FAIR ENOUGH
BECAUSE WHEN OH IM SORRY JOAN* I WAS WHEN I WORKED BEFORE I CAME HERE
I GOT ABOUT FOUR FIFTY A YEAR DOING WHAT WORKING FOR YES BUT DOING WHAT
WELL AS AS A SCIENTIFIC ASSISTANT WHICH IS MORE OR LESS THE MOST BASIC GRADE
YOU CAN BE WELL ITS CERTAINLY BUT THEN YOU CAN WORK FULL TIME BUT AT THE
MOMENT I CANT WORK FULL TIME I ONLY WORK IN THE AFTERNOONS I HAVE LECTURES
IN THE MORNINGS WHAT SUBJECTS DID YOU HAVE TO TAKE IM A MEDIC BUT IVE JUST GOT
TO DO CHEMISTRY THIS YEAR YOU SEE AND YOUVE ONLY GOT TO PASS CHEMISTRY
YES YOUVE ONLY GOT TO TAKE CHEMISTRY BISCUITS ILL POP THEM IN THE MIDDLE
BUT ITS NOT MUCH FUN YOU KNOW I ONLY TAKE ABOUT FIVE QUID A WEEK I SUPPOSE
IS THAT ALL YOU GET WHAT QUALIFICATIONS DYOU HAVE TO HAVE WHAT FOR TUTORING
WELL I DONT KNOW REALLY ITS DEAD EASY WHAT IM DOING AT THE MOMENT
IM DOING BIOLOGY AND ALL YOU GOT TO DO IS WELL I TURN UP AND I SIT DOWN
YOU KNOW AND ALL THOSE OBEDIENT LITTLE KIDS COME WELL THEYRE NOT LITTLE
ONE OF THEM WELL HOW OLD ONE OR TWO OF THEM ARE OLDER THAN ME WHAT STAGE
ARE THEY A LEVEL A LEVELS A LEVEL BIOLOGY YES WELL ALL YOUVE GOT TO HAVE
DONE IS TO HAVE PASSED A LEVEL BIOLOGY IT SEEMS WELL BUT IF I NEXT YEAR WANTED
TO TUTOR A LEVEL MATHS OR PHYSICS I COULD DO THAT
WELL IF YOU RECKON YOU COULD DO IT ITS QUITE A RESPONSIBILITY YOU SEE YOUVE
YOU HAVE TO BE ABLE TO PUT IT ACROSS ITS OK TO BE ABLE TO JUST YOU KNOW
SAY WELL IM A TUTOR BUT I FEEL
A BIT OF A MORAL RESPONSIBILTY TO MAKE SURE THESE PEOPLE PASS NOW

IT IS A RESPONSIBILITY YES IT IS THEYVE GOT A ITS QUITE A BIG THING THEY PAY
A LOT OF MONEY TO YOU ITS HELLISH EXPENSIVE IN FACT BASIL* PATTERSONS* MAKE
A FANTASTIC PROFIT OFF THIS YOU SEE THEY THEY CHARGE WELL I HAD A GUY TODAY
THIS MORNING BY HIMSELF AND HE TOLD ME HE WAS PAYING SENENTEEN
AND SIX AN HOUR OF WHICH I GOT ABOUT SEVEN AND SIX
AND THEY GET THE REST WELL DYOU KNOW SEVERAL PEOPLE WHEN I WAS WORKING
WHO THEY GOT PROBABLY A DEGREE YOU KNOW WHO ARE TEACHING AT NIGHT SCHOOL
AND THEY GET AN INCREDIBLE AMOUNT OF MONEY WELL IT DEPENDS ON HOW MANY
PUPILS YOUVE GOT AND I MEAN THEY GET IN THE REGION OF A GUINEA TO THIRTY
BOB AN HOUR YES WELL YOU SEE PUT YOUR THEY ONLY HAVE TO WORK A COUPLE OF
HOURS A NIGHT AND I MEAN THEYRE EARNING JUST ABOUT ALMOST AS MUCH
AS THEYRE EARNING AT WORK I KNOW BUT THEY HAVE TO SWOT IT ALL UP BEFORE
YES BUT I MEAN ITS NOT A GREAT DEAL I MEAN YOUVE GOT YOUR BOOKS OR YOUR
NOTES IN FRONT OF YOU AND ITS NOT SO DIFFICULT THEN NO BUT YOU HAVE TO SORT
OF SWOT UP HOW TO PUT IT OVER TO THE CLASS THATS THE TROUBLE WITH
THESE A LEVELS YES AND THERES ANOTHER THING WHAT YOUVE GOT TO DO TOO AND
THATS GET SORT OF IN WITH THE WITH THE PEOPLE TOO YES NOW I WANT TO INCREASE ON
THIS RUNNING CULTURAL TOURS NOW FOR FOREIGN STUDENTS IN THE SUMMER TERM
YOU KNOW WE JUST GO OUT IN BUS RIDES AND SAY OH QUEEN ANNE* LIVED HERE AND
THAT SORT OF THING YOU ARE GOING TO DO THIS ARENT YOU YES WERE DOING IT
WELL THIS IS BASIL* PATTERSONS* AGAIN ACTUALLY A SORT OF BASIL* PATTERSONS* IS
THE MOST EXPENSIVE PLACE HELLISH EXPENSIVE TERRIBLY WHEREABOUTS IS
BASIL* PATTERSONS* ITS DOWN ABERCROMBIE* PLACE BUT ITS NINETY NINETY QUID
FOR THREE SUBJECTS FOR FULL TERM THEY WORK YOU DONT THEY WORK YOU VERY HARD
WHAT WORK THE STUDENTS OR WORK THE TUTORS DONT KNOW ABOUT THE TUTORS
BUT IVE HEARD THEY WORK THE STUDENTS QUITE HARD WELL THEY ONLY WORK THE
STUDENTS HARD IF THE TUTOR CAN BE FAGGED TO SET ANY WORK YOU SEE THEN HES
GOT TO MARK THEM WELL IT LOOKS AWFUL ON PAPER ANYWAY BECAUSE IVE GOT THE
PROSPECTUS FROM THEM WELL I HAVENT SET ANY WORK YET I SUPPOSE I SHALL
SOME DAY I SUPPOSE AS YOU SAY ITS QUITE A RESPONSIBILITY YES THERES NOTHING
YOU SEE ITS ALL RIGHT JUST TO TURN UP AT YOUR OH GOD LOOK AT THIS
IVE SPILT COFFEE ALL OVER YOUR BLASTED BAG WAS THIS YOURS NO ITS IT
DOESNT MATTER IF YOUVE SPILT COFFEE ALL OVER IT ITS PROBABLY HAD PLENTY ALL OVER
IT BEFORE PUT IT ON THE FLOOR DOWN THERE IF YOU TURN UP
YOU SEE AND YOUVE LEARNT UP A BIT OF STUFF IN THE
MORNING AND YOU GET SOME BLOKE WHO ASKS YOU A WHOLE LOT OF AWKWARD QUESTIONS
AND YOU CANT ANSWER THEM AT ALL BECAUSE YOU HAVENT LEARNT THAT BIT UP YOU SEE
DIFFICULTY I HAD A GIRL THIS MORNING WHO WAS ALWAYS TERRIBLE AND WE KEPT ON
HEDGING THE QUESTIONS AND TRYING TO ARGUE THAT ITS SOMETHING ELSE SO ID SAY ITS
ITS NOT QUITE EASY NOT QUITE AS EASY AS IT SEEMS ANYWAY EVEN THOUGH YOU YOU SAY
YOURE GOING TO TUTOR FOR TWO HOURS YOU TAKE HALF AN HOUR TO GET THERE AND
HALF AN HOUR TO GET BACK AND MAYBE A COUPLE OF HOURS TO LEARN THE STUFF UP
SO ITS FIVE HOURS WORK YOU SEE YES ITS ALL RIGHT SORT OF KNOWING
THE STUFF BUT WHEN SOMEONE ASKS YOU INTRICATE DETAIL ACTUALLY SOME PEOPLE CAN
YOU KNOW TUTOR QUITE EASILY AND OTHERS FIND IT TERRIBLY DIFFICULT WHATS SKERRYS*
LIKE AS A COLLEGE THATS A SORT OF YOU KNOW COMMERCIAL COLLEGE WHAT SKERRYS*
THATS A COMMERCIAL COLLEGE WHOS YOUR FRIEND I USED TO FIND AT SCHOOL THAT
PEOPLE USED TO COME UP AND ASK ME HOW TO DO PROBLEMS I COULD EXPLAIN TO THEM
WITHOUT REALLY UNDERSTANDING EXACTLY HOW TO DO THEM MYSELF YOURE A BORN
LECTURER AND YET THEYD SORT OF SAY WELL THEY UNDERSTOOD AND I WONDERED HOW
ON EARTH THEY COULD POSSIBLY UNDERSTAND NOW EXPLAIN IT TO ME YES I CANT THINK
OF ANYTHING TO PUT BUT ALSO YOU FIND THAT PEOPLE SAY OH THEY UNDERSTAND
THINGS AND YOU SAY YOU TAKE AWAY THE SHEET OF PAPER YOUVE BEEN EXPLAINING TO
THEM AND SAY WELL WRITE IT OUT YOURSELF AND THEY CANT THEN I MEAN THEY DONT
REALLY UNDERSTAND AT ALL THEY SAY BECAUSE THEY THINK THEY OUGHT TO YES IVE
GOT A FELLOW I HAVENT SEEN HIM BEFORE HES TURNED UP TODAY HE ROLLED IN
SMOKING A FAG AND SORT OF CHUCKING THEM ALL AROUND THE PLACE AND HE TALKED
NON STOP ABOUT SEX FROM THE TIME HE CAME IN TO THE TIME HE WENT OUT OBVIOUSLY
ONE TRACK MINDED WELL THAT WAS THE FELLOW I WAS TUTORING WHO WAS TUTORING
WHO THANK YOU YES I THOUGHT OF DOING TUTORING BUT ITS TOO MUCH WORK INVOLVED

FAR MORE THAN THE HOUR OF TUTORING YES THATS THE TROUBLE I MEAN IF YOU GET
SEVEN AND SIX FOR AN HOURS TUTORING YOURE PROBABLY SPENDING YOURE PROBABLY
WORKING AT A RATE OF HALF A CROWN AN HOUR WELL ITS NOT QUITE AS BAD AS THAT
BUT FOUR FOUR BOB AN HOUR I SHOULD SAY IT IS BUT STILL ITS TIME WHICH ID BE
WASTING OTHERWISE I REMEMBER LAST TERM I USED TO JUST SIT AROUND
AND WASTE TIME FOR THE WHOLE AFTERNOON DID THEY HONESTLY NOT LOOK INTO YOUR
QUALIFICATIONS WELL YOU YOUVE GOT TO WRITE DOWN WHAT EXAMS YOUVE PASSED
AND YOUR MARKS OR JUST NO NO JUST WHAT EXAMS YOUVE PASSED AND WHAT I WROTE ON
MINE LOOKED QUITE IMPRESSIVE BECAUSE I PASSED ALL MY ORDINARY LEVELS AND HOW
MANY ORDINARY LEVELS DID YOU GET TEN THE SAME AS ME I GOT ABOUT TEN AS WELL
NINE OR TEN WHICH BOARD DID YOU TAKE THEN CAMBRIDGE OH GOD LOOK AT THIS MAN
YOU GOT YOU GOT ANYTHING INTERESTING AT O LEVEL I MEAN OR IS IT SORT OF WOODWORK
AND ART SANSKRIT DID YOU TAKE THE GENERAL PAPER FRENCH I FAILED THREE TIMES
NO DID YOU WE TOOK THE YES I DID I REMEMBER WRITING SOME EXTRAORDINARY ESSAY
ABOUT BANNING THE BOMB OR SOMETHING OR SOMETHING I KNOW NOTHING ABOUT BUT THESE
ARE THE SORT OF THINGS THAT YOU CAN WRITE ABOUT WITHOUT KNOWING MUCH ABOUT ITS A
RIDICULOUS PAPER NO ONE CAN ARGUE WITH YOU BECAUSE ITS YOUR OWN THOUGHTS
OR WHAT BOARD DID YOU TAKE IDEAS ON THE SUBJECT DID YOU DO THE CAMBRIDGE
BOARD OH WE DID LONDON FOR A LEVEL BUT WE DID OXFORD AND CAMBRIDGE GENERAL
PAPER I DID I NOTICE YOUVE GOT A PRETTY HIGH PROPORTION OF WOMEN IN THIS BOOK
BILL* IS IT IT IS SUPPOSED TO BE QUITE EASY BECAUSE I REMEMBER A GIRL COMING
DOWN SHED TAKEN SHED GOT ABOUT FIVE SUBJECTS AT A LEVEL ON AN ORDINARY
JOINT BOARD AND SHE CAME DOWN IN THREE MOCK A LEVELS WITH US YOU KNOW SHED
GONE DOWN A YEAR AND SHE WAS ONLY GETTING MARKS LIKE THIRTY THREE AND THIRTY
OR SOMETHING ON PAPERS SHED ACTUALLY PASSED OR WAS SUPPOSED TO HAVE PASSED AT O
LEVEL AND HER STANDARD WAS MUCH LOWER THAN OURS AND I WAS QUITE AMAZED YOU KNOW
BECAUSE BUT THAT THE DIFFERENCE IN PROPORTION WAS SO GREAT I MUST ADMIT THAT I
DIDNT FIND A LEVEL TERRIBLY DIFFICULT BUT WELL I WORKED QUITE HARD IN MY LAST
YEAR BECAUSE I WAS SO DETERMINED TO GET TO UNIVERSITY GAVE UP ALL SOCIAL
LIFE VIRTUALLY SO ITS QUITE REWARDING IN THE END AND I ONE OF THE SUBJECTS
I WAS DOING WAS ART AND APART FROM THE ARCHITECTURE PAPER THERES NOT MUCH YOU
CAN DO FOR THAT I MEAN SKETCHING AND THINGS BECAUSE YOU GET ONE THEORY
OF PAINTING AND TWO PRACTICAL WELL THERES SORT OF TWO KINDS OF PEOPLE THAT
PASS ART ARENT THERE PEOPLE THAT WHO ARE NATURALLY BRILLIANT AT ART AND PEOPLE
WHO TRY RATHER HARD YOU DONT HAVE TO BE PARTICULARLY ARTISTIC TO PASS IT OH I
DONT KNOW YOU ARE QUITE ARTISTIC I KNOW BUT I MEAN SOME PEOPLE ARE I THINK I GOT
MY I THINK I GOT QUITE A GOOD MARK BUT I THINK ITS BRCAUSE OF THE ARCHITECTURE
PAPER BECAUSE YOU KNOW I MEAN I DONT THINK THEY EXPECT PEOPLE WHO ARE GOOD AT
ART TO SORT OF SWOT UP THE
ARCHITECTURE AND THE THEORY SO MUCH
THEY USUALLY PASS PROBABLY ON THE ON THE PRACTICAL SIDE WHICH I DONT THINK I
DID TOO WELL ON I DIDNT DO A VERY GOOD PAINTING HEY TALKING ABOUT
CONVERSATIONS I HEARD THE MOST BLOODY AWFUL CONVERSATION TODAY IT WENT LIKE
THIS HELLO HELLO THEY PAUSED IT WAS A COUPLE OF WOMEN TALKING IN THE
REFECTORY AND THERE WAS A GREAT BIG PAUSE BETWEEN EVERYTHING THEY SAID OF
ABOUT YOU KNOW FIVE SECONDS YOU KNOW A BIG PAUSE YOU COULD HEAR IT AND IT
WENT SOMETHING LIKE THIS NICE DAY OH YES YES DYOU KNOW ANY PARTIES OH YES YES
WHERE DYOU LIVE LONDON OH YES YES NICE PLACE YES QUITE NICE WHOS THAT OVER THERE
I DONT KNOW NOR DO I COULD GO ON FOR AGES YOU KNOW THEY SORT OF SAT THERE
LAPPING IT ALL UP DONT YOU FIND THAT A LOT OF REFECTORY TYPES ARE FRIGHTFULLY
ARTIFICIAL YOU KNOW THERES NOTHING TO THEM AT ALL THEY THINK ITS JUST THE THING
TO WELL WHAT IS THE REFECTORY TYPE TERRIBLY PATRONIZING AIR AND SPOILT BUT
SO THAT THEYRE WELL OBVIOUSLY SOME ARE THERES NOTHING TO THEM IN THE WHOLE
CHARACTER AT ALL OH IS THAT THE REFECTORY TYPES OR JUST YES A LOT OF PEOPLE
NOT ALL BUT SOME OF THEM WELL WHAT DYOU CALL REFECTORY TYPE I MEAN OLD CHAP
SURELY YOU KNOW YOU KNOW THEYRE ALL FRIGHTFULLY PUBLIC
SCHOOL AND SOMETHING LIKE BILL* IM NOT A BLOODY REFECTORY TYPE WELL I WOULD SAY
THAT BOB* AND TOM* WERE RATHER TYPICAL OF OF THE REFECTORY TYPE DYOU THINK SO
WELL PARTLY I MEAN THERE ARE OTHERS WELL YES
DONT YOU THINK SEEMS TO BE ONE OR TWO OTHER PEOPLE I MEAN THERES PEOPLE YOU SEE

THERE EVERY DAY SIT IN A GREAT CIRCLE DO NOTHING TALK OF NOTHING OR JUST A VERY
PROFOUND SUBJECT ACTUALLY NOTHING YOU CAN TALK FOR HOURS ABOUT NOTHING THATS
A LOT OF NONSENSE JUST TRYING TO DEFINE IT WOULD TAKE YOU LONG ENOUGH WELL
WHEN YOURE THINKING OF NOTHING WHAT DO YOU THINK OF WELL THATS A POINT IF YOURE
GOINT TO NOW THESE THESE GUYS WHO STUDY YOGA THEY ACTUALLY THINK ABOUT
NOTHING AND CONCENTRATE ON NOTHING NOT ON THE WORD NOTHING BUT JUST NOTHING
AT ALL WHEN WHEN I THINK OF NOTHING I THINK OF A GREAT BIG ROUND CIRCLE THATS
ABSOLUTELY NOTHING IN THE MIDDLE YOU CANT YOU CANT DEFINE NOTHING BY USING
THE WORD NOTHING IN YOUR DEFINITION IF YOU WANT TO DEFINE NUTS YOU CANT SAY
WHEN I THINK OF NUTS I THINK OF SOMETHING ROUND AND HARD THATS A NUT WHICH IS
WHAT YOURE DOING OH BUT THERE YOU SEE IM ME AND THAT MAKES A THEN IF YOU SAY
YOURE TRYING TO DEFINE NOTHING AS SPACE FOR EXAMPLE YOURE THINKING OF SPACE
THEN YOURE NOT THINKING OF HOW ABOUT SAYING THAT NOTHING IS GOD HOW ABOUT
THAT THATD BE RIDICULOUS WELL DOESNT THAT REALLY DEPEND IT WORKS THE OTHER
WAY ROUND WHETHER YOU BELIEVE IN GOD OR NOT PARDON DEPENDS WHETHER YOU BELIEVE
IN GOD OR NOT OR WHAT YOU THINK OF GOD WELL WHAT DO YOU THINK OF GOD IM NOT
SAYING WHAT I THINK ABOUT IT WELL I THINK WELL I BELIEVE THERE IS A GOD
DO YOU YES YES DO YOU BUT NOT WAIT A MINUTE GIVE HER REALLY A CHANCE
GIVE HER A CHANCE BECAUSE I THINK THAT IF YOU TAKE EVERYTHING DOWN TO THE
FUNDAMENTALS
THERE MUST HAVE BEEN A START NO TO SOMETHING SOMEWHERE NO THE POINT ABOUT
THAT IS THAT AND THERE MUST HAVE BEEN A MASTER MASTER MIND BEHIND IT ALL
THE QUESTION WHAT STARTED IT ALL IS TOTALLY IRRELEVANT BECAUSE YOU CANNOT YOU
CAN JUST SPECULATE YES AND MY SPECULATION IS JUST AS GOOD AS YOURS AND SO BOTH
BECOME TOTALLY IRRELEVANT BUT PARTICULARLY DONT YOU THINK THERES A LOT OF PEOPLE
BELIEVE IN GOD OR A GOD BECAUSE THEY THEY HAVE A DEFINITE NEED TO BELIEVE IN
SOMETHING YES YES WELL THERE IS ITS JUST A FORM OF ESCAPISM YOU SEE TO
BELIEVE IN GOD YES IT IS A FORM OF ESCAPISM ITS NOTHING MORE YOU FIND FIND
THAT GREAT CLOUDS OF RELIGIOUS FERVOUR GROW UP WHEN THERES TIMES OF NATIONAL
RELIGIOUS OVERNIGHT AND THEY ALL DASH OFF TO CHURCH AND THEY DASH OFF TO
CHURCH AT CHRISTMAS BECAUSE OF THE PANTOMIME AS MUCH AS ANYTHING ELSE ALL
BECAUSE ITS THE DONE THING I MEAN ITS YOU SHOULD GO TO CHURCH AT EASTER AND
CHRISTMAS AND PEOPLE DO AND THEY WEAR THEIR HATS AND THEY DRESS UP IN THEIR
SUNDAY BEST BUT THEY THERES NO MORE FEELING BEHIND IT THAN YOUVE HIT THE NAIL
RIGHT ON THE HEAD WHEN I GO TO CHURCH AT EASTER I WEAR MY HAT YOU DO YOU DONT
TAKE IT OFF WHEN YOU GO INTO CHURCH THEN DO THEY LET YOU IN I IVE BEEN
READING QUITE A LOT ABOUT THIS AND IVE JUST FINISHED READING A BOOK CALLED
WHY BELIEVE WHICH IS IN FAVOUR OF GOD
AND CHRISTIANITY AND IM NOT REALLY CONVINCED AT ALL WELL ANOTHER THING THAT
INTERESTS ME IS PEOPLES MORALS BECAUSE IF MORALS ARE BASED ON A SURELY A
RELIGIOUS CODE NO THEYRE NOT YOUVE GOT MORALS ARE SURELY I DONT THINK MORALS
ARE BASED ON A RELIGIOUS CODE AT ALL THEYRE BASED BASED ON A SOCIOLOGICAL CODE
THEYRE BASED ON A CODE WHICH JUST HAPPENS TO BE MOST CONVENIENT TO THE
GREATER MAJORITY OF PEOPLE YOU SEE BECAUSE IF YOU ASK PEOPLE WHY DO THEY DO
CERTAIN THINGS AND WHY THEY WONT OR WHY THEY HAVE CERTAIN MORALS THEY DONT KNOW
WHY YES THEY DO THEY DONT THEY JUST SAY
WELL ITS THE DONE THING BECAUSE ITS THE DONE THING OR BECAUSE THEY DONT THINK
THEY OUGHT TO DO A CERTAIN THING NO WELL THEN THATS THE REASON IN THAT CASE
THAT ITS THE DONE THING BUT SURELY THESE THINGS ARE BASED ON THE THEYVE BEEN
SORT OF INDOCTRINATED A BELIEF BY THEIR PARENTS WHEN THEY WERE YOUNG IN THAT
CASE YES AND IF PEOPLE DONT HAVE THE BASIC BELIEF THAT THEY ARE THAT THESE
MORALS ARE SURELY ITS NOT SINCERE TO HAVE ANY MORALS DID YOU HEAR THE REITH
LECTURE THE THIRD ONE NO I DIDNT ACTUALLY CHASTITY
AND CHARITY YES YOU HEARD IT NO I READ ABOUT IT YES IN THE LISTENER NO IN
THE SCOTSMAN YOU KNOW NO BROWN* YOU KNOW PROFESSOR OF PSYCHOLOGY WELL WELL HE
FINALLY WOUND UP WITH THE IDEA THAT CHARITY WAS BETTER THAN CHASTITY AND
THERE WERE A FANTASTIC NUMBER OF LETTERS FIRST IN THE GUARDIAN AND THE
LISTENER AND MANCHESTER GUARDIAN AND ALL SORTS OF DIFFERENT PAPERS ABOUT THIS
SAYING THAT BROWN*
WAS ADVOCATING FREE LOVE AMONGST ALL PEOPLE AND THIS SORT OF THING WHICH IN

FACT IN THE NEXT HE SAID THAT HE WASNT BECAUSE HE HAD RECEIVED A FAIR AMOUNT
OF POST TOO NO DOUBT FROM THE UNIVERSITY
MY DAUGHTERS TO BE EDUCATED HERE OH I THINK MORALS ARE A FASHIONABLE TO A
LARGE EXTENT YES BUT I THINK THEY MAY BE OR THEYRE NOT LIKELY TO CHANGE A
GREAT DEAL AND I DONT THINK THEY HAVE CHANGED A GREAT DEAL THIS IS I THINK
JOANS* POINT THEY MAY BE FASHIONABLE BUT IT MIGHT BE ONLY THAT
THE PARTICULAR DETAILS ARE FASHIONABLE YES BASIC IDEAS ARE ALL THE SAME BUT BUT
BASICALLY THERE IS SOME SORT OF BASIC CODE TO WHICH WE ALL I MEAN HOW DYOU
EXPLAIN OUR CONSCIENCE FOR EXAMPLE WELL REGARDLESS OF WHAT YOU BELIEVE JOHN*
YOU YOU CERTAINLY KNOW WHETHER WHAT YOURE DOING IS RIGHT OR WRONG YES THIS IS
BECAUSE IN EVERY PERSONAL IN WHICH PEOPLE SOME PEOPLE CALL CHOOSE TO CALL A
RELIGIOUS INSTINCT WHERE OTHERS CHOOSE TO CALL IT A LETS CALL IT AN INSTINCT
FOR SOCIAL WELL BEING AND ITS THIS INSTINCT AND ITS PROBABLY THE ONE BASIC
INSTINCT THAT MAN HAS WHICH TELLS HIM WHICH IS RIGHT AND WHICH IS WRONG NOW
FROM THIS ONE INSTINCT YOU GET DEVELOPMENT BOTH WAYS ONE ONE WAY IS THE MORAL
ASPECT SAYING THAT YOU SHOULDNT STEAL OR OR YOU SHOULDNT HAVE TWO WIVES OR
SOMETHING YOU SEE WELL NOW THE BUSINESS ABOUT YOU SHOULDNT STEAL THAT
THATS A SOCIAL ANGLE BECAUSE ITS MORE CONVENIENT TO THE MAJORITY OF PEOPLE
IF THE MINORITY DONT STEAL BUT ABOUT HAVING TWO WIVES THATS JUST RIDICULOUS IF
THEY WERE BUT I THINK THAT MOST PEOPLES MORALS ARE SOCIAL MORALS AND NOT BASED
ON ANY RELIGIOUS BELIEF THEYRE JUST THEY HAVE MORALS BECAUSE THEYRE SOCIALLY
CONVENIENT AH YES TO THEM BECAUSE SOCIALLY THEYRE LOOKED DOWN UPON IF THEY DONT
CONFORM TO THE CERTAIN IDEAL WHOSE SIDE ARE YOU ON DEAR I I DONT THINK THAT
MOST PEOPLE KNOW WHY THEY BELIEVE IN CERTAIN MORALS WELL I DONT
THINK SO ACTUALLY JOAN* THERE IF YOURE TALKING ABOUT MORALS IN THE IN A GENERAL
SENSE IN THE GENERAL TERM ITS BECAUSE ONES BEEN TAUGHT THIS WAY I THINK YOU CAN
CALL IT A A SORT OF INDOCTRINATION YES BUT YOU STILL DONT KNOW WHY YOU BELIEVE
IN THEM EVEN THOUGH IT SOUNDS LIKE A MIGHTY SORT OF TOUGH SORT OF WORD WELL
THATS WHY YOU BELIEVE IN THEM BECAUSE AS YOUVE BEEN INDOCTRINATED FROM THE DAY
YOU WERE BORN THAT IF YOU PINCH SOMEBODY ELSES THINGS THAT THATS JUST A BAD SORT
OF THING TO DO NOW FIRST AF ALL YOURE PUNISHED FOR IT AND WHEN YOURE NOT
PUNISHED FOR IT IT PREYS ON YOUR CONSCIENCE AFTER A LITTLE BECAUSE THATS WHAT
ACTUALLY ENCOURAGED TO LET IT PREY ON YOUR CONSCIENCE WELL MOST PEOPLE
BELIEVE IN GOD FOR THE SAME REASON BECAUSE WHEN THEYRE SMALL THEIR PARENTS TELL
THEM THAT THERE IS A GOD AND THEY GO TO CHURCH AND ITS NOT UNTIL THEY GET TO
A CERTAIN AGE PERHAPS WHEN THEYRE FOURTEEN FIFTEEN OR EVEN OLDER THAT THEY
ACTUALLY BEGIN TO QUESTION AND THE MAJORITY OF GENERAL MORALS PEOPLE DONT BOTHER
TO QUESTION BECAUSE BY THE TIME THEYRE FOURTEEN OR FIFTEEN LETS CALL IT THAT
AGE THEY REALISE BY THEN THAT THOSE THINGS WE CHOOSE TO CALL MORALS ARE THERE
BECAUSE ITS CONVENIENT TO HAVE THEM YES WHEREAS ITS NOT PARTICULARLY
CONVENIENT TO BELIEVE IN GOD UNLESS YOU PARTICULARLY WANT TO ALSO DONT FORGET
THAT THERE THERE ARE PRETTY BIG PUNISHMENTS ATTACHED TO NOT STICKING TO THIS
BASIC MORAL CODE THATS WHY YOU HAVE A POLICE FORCE AND PRISONS AND THINGS YOU
SEE THERE IS A SOCIAL BUT BUT DONT YOU THINK THAT MORAL THIS MORAL CODE IS BASED
ON THE BASIC BELIEF IN WHICH MOST A LOT OF PEOPLE DONT BELIEVE AT ALL I MEAN
IT DEPENDS ON WHAT RELIGION YOU HAVE ID SAY THAT MOST OF THE LAW AND CODES IN
ENGLAND ARE BASED ON CHRISTIAN RELIGION BUT IF YOU DONT HAPPEN TO BE A CHRISTIAN
AND DONT HAPPEN TO BELIEVE IN GOD WHY SHOULD YOU CONFORM NO NO NO THATS NOT
THIS IS UNFORTUNATELY NOT SO BECAUSE THE THE MORAL CODE WOULD SEEM TO BE MORE
OR LESS THE SAME THROUGHOUT THE WORLD AND YOULL FIND THAT THROUGHOUT THE
WORLD THE RELIGIONS IF THEY ARE ANY FORM OF WELL DEVELOPED RELIGION IF ITS
BEEN THERE FOR MORE THAN SAY FIFTY YEARS AND ENOUGH PEOPLE FOLLOWING IT YOULL
FIND THAT THE BASIC ETHICS WHICH ANY RELIGION SETS FORWARD ARE MORE OR LESS THE
SAME AS THOSE WHICH ANY OTHER RELIGION SETS FORWARD TOO YOU SOMETIMES SEE
OUTSIDE METHODIST CHURCHES THINGS BY BUDDHA AND LAOTSE I THINK ITS LAOTSE
AND AND CHRIST AND THIS SORT OF THING AND THEYRE ALL SAYING MUCH THE SAME
SORT OF SORT OF THING IN FACT IF YOU IF YOU BOTHER TO READ EVEN THE BASIC IDEAS
OF DIFFERENT RELIGIONS YOULL FIND THEY ALL TEND TO HAVE THE SAME SORT OF WE CALL
THEM THE TEN COMMANDMENTS BUT OTHER PEOPLE WOULD CALL THEM OTHER THINGS YOU SEE
THEYRE ALL BASICALLY THE SAME THIS THIS IS THE POINT ACTUALLY THAT I KEEP

THINKING OF WHEN I THINK OF RELIGION I SAY WE AS CHRISTIANS MERELY NOT
PROFESSING ANY FAITH BUT BECAUSE IM LIVING IN A PREDOMINANTLY CHRISTIAN
COUNTRY SO IM REFERRING TO US ALL HERE AS WE AS CHRISTIANS WE AS CHRISTIANS
THINK WE WE BELIEVE IN CHRIST AND WE THINK HE WAS THE SON OF GOD OR WERE
SUPPOSED TO AND CHRISTIANS CERTAINLY THINK THAT THEIR RELIGION IS THE RIGHT
ONE NOW THERE THERES ONE THING THAT IS SURE AND AND THAT IS THAT ONLY ONE
OF THE NUMEROUS RELIGIONS CAN BE RIGHT AND JUST AS CHRISTIANS ARE SO SURE THAT
CHRIST WAS THE SON OF GOD AND THAT THEIR RELIGION IS RIGHT SO ALL THE OTHER
RELIGIONS ARE QUITE CONVINCED THAT THEIRS IS RIGHT JUST TO THE
SAME EXTENT WELL THEY CANT ALL BE RIGHT CAN THEY THEY THEY ALL JUST WANT
SOMEONE TO RELY ON DONT THEY I THINK I MEAN WHAT WHAT YES ESSENTIALLY ONE
NEEDS TO BELIEVE IN A GOD WELL WELL I DONT THINK ONE DOES I THINK SO NO NOW
LOOK WELL WHAT DYOU LIVE FOR THEN OH ALL RIGHT NOW WHAT DYOU LIVE FOR YOURE
LIVING FOR AN AFTERLIFE ARE YOU WELL PURELY BASICALLY YOUVE GOT TO LIVE FOR
SOMETHING ELSE BECAUSE I MEAN THERES NOTHING MUCH IN THIS LIFE IS THERE DYOU
NOT THINK WELL THIS IS RIDICULOUS IF YOU CANT LIVE FOR THE PRESENT THERES NO
POINT IN LIVING AT ALL BECAUSE YOURE ALWAYS SEARCHING AFTER A BETTER TOMORROW
DONT YOU THINK TOMORROW MIGHT NEVER COME YES WELL IT MIGHT MIGHTNT IT WELL CANT
YOU SIT BACK AND ENJOY TODAY YES WELL FAIR ENOUGH ENJOY IT BUT AND ENJOY
TOMORROW WHEN IT GETS THERE MAKE THE MOST OF IT WELL YOU YOU SAID THAT THAT
LIFE IS A GAMBLE AND YOU MIGHT AS WELL MAKE THE MOST OF TODAY AND BLOW WHAT
HAPPENS TOMORROW A LOT OF PEOPLE THINK THAT THERE IS A TOMORROW AND THEY MUST
LIVE FOR TOMORROW THEREFORE THEY MUST BEHAVE TODAY AND MAKE A BETTER TOMORROW
WELL A LOT OF US SORRY GO ON I WAS GOING TO SAY A LOT OF PEOPLE ALSO THINK
THAT THERE THERE IS IN THIS CONTEXT A YESTERDAY MOST PEOPLE ASSUME THAT THERES
GOING TO BE ANOTHER DAY TOMORROW AS WE ASSUME NOW THAT YOURE GOING TO GET UP
TOMORROW AND FIND THAT WERE STILL HERE YES AND ON THIS REASON YOU TEND TO DO
THINGS WHICH ARE GOING TO THATS WHY YOU BOTHER TO COME TO UNIVERSITY BECAUSE
YOU YOU THINK YOURE STILL GOING TO BE HERE IN A COUPLE OF YEARS TIME AND THIS
SORT OF THING BUT AS FAR AS LOOKING AS FAR AHEAD AS SOMETHING AS NEBULOUS AS AN
AFTERLIFE WHICH IS JUST A A SPECULATION SOMETHING WHICH
YOUVE GOT NO IDEA ABOUT ITS JUST A A RATHER NICE THOUGHT AND NOTHING MORE THAN
A SPECULATION THATS THATS TAKING IT A BIT FAR I THINK HOW HOW DO YOU LIVE THEN
JEAN* DO DO YOU ACT IN SUCH A WAY AS TO
TO TO YOU KNOW DYOU ACT IN SUCH A WAY AS YOU THINK IT WILL INFLUENCE YOUR
AFTERLIFE NO BUT I SHOULD BECAUSE ITS IF IM IF IM PREPARED TO BELIEVE THAT
THERE IS AN AFTERLIFE THEN IM IM I SHOULD BE PREPARED TO TAKE THE CONSEQUENCES
YOU YOURE A CHRISTIAN PRESUMABLY AND YOU BELIEVE IN CHRIST AND YOU BELIEVE
IN THE RESURRECTION AND THE VIRGIN BIRTH IN THAT CASE DYOU ALSO BELIEVE THAT
MUMMY PIGGY WENT TO SEE DADDY PIGGY AND DO CARRY ON SORRY I I MUSTNT RIDICULE
YOU WHY WHY IN THAT CASE DONT YOU BELIEVE THAT YOU MIGHT COME BACK AS A WORM
IF YOU MISBEHAVE THIS TIME OR NO I DONT
LIKE TO BELIEVE THAT OR AS AN ELEPHANT SOMEDAY ITS NOT CONVENIENT NO THATS THE
THATS THE THING YOU SEE WELL AS FAR AS I CAN SEE ITS NOT CONVENIENT TO BELIEVE
IN AN AFTERLIFE EITHER HOW MANY PEOPLE DO ACTUALLY
IS IT IS IT SO INCONVENIENT OH WELL ONLY
SURELY NOT DYOU THINK BELIEF IN AN AFTERLIFE COMES WITH OLD AGE DYOU THINK
THAT AS YOU GET OLDER YOU BECOME MORE AFRAID OF WHATS GOING TO HAPPEN TO YOU
AND THEREFORE TRY AND CONFORM AND BEHAVE IN A BETTER WAY SO THAT YOU WILL HAVE
AN AFTERLIFE THE YOUNGEST YEARS ARE THE BEST PART OF YOUR LIFE THAT WHILE IM
YOUNG I MIGHT AS WELL MAKE THE MOST OF IT AND WHEN I GET OLD WELL ILL BEHAVE
MYSELF THEN IN OTHER WORDS GODS FORGOTTEN ABOUT WHAT YOU DID WHEN YOU WERE
YOUNG WELL I MEAN YOU KNOW THATS A THOUGHT OH THATS A LOT OF FAIRY STORIES
THAT THATS HOW I LOOK AT IT I THINK YOU SEE MASS HYSTERIA IS LARGELY
RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY RELIGION I THINK IF YOU CAN BE STRONG WILLED AND IT IS
A MATTER OF STRENGTH AND WILL YOU DONT REALLY NEED TO BELIEVE IN ANYTHING OTHER
THAN YOURSELF OR OR THE PEOPLE AROUND YOU YOU SEE THE WAY THE WAY A DOG LOOKS
AT A LOOKS AT HIS MASTER OR THE WAY A THINK A DOG LOOKS UP TO HIS MASTER WE USE
AN ANALOGY MEN TEND TO LOOK UP TO SOMETHING ABOVE THEM AND THERES NOTHING
THERE INTELLECTUALLY OR NOTHING THERE REALLY PHYSICALLY FOR THAT MATTER EITHER

AND SO THEY INVENT SOMETHING ITS JUST A CASTLE IN THE CLOUDS WHICH ITS
CONVENIENT TO HAVE THERE EXACTLY THE SAME WAY AN AFTERLIFE IS CONVENIENT
TO BELIEVE IN TOO SEE YES IF IM GOOD IN THIS WORLD WELL ILL HAVE A GOOD
AFTERLIFE YES ITS A MATTER OF CONVENIENCE THE WHOLE LOT YES I THINK ITS A
MATTER OF CONVENIENCE OR CONSOLATION YES A PHILOSOPHER ONCE SAID THAT MEN
THINKING ABOUT GOD COULD BE COMPARED TO WORMS TRYING TO COMPREHEND AEROPLANES
AND SHIPS AND THINGS IN OTHER WORDS THE WORM HAS ITS OWN MINUTE ENVIRONMENT
AND IT MAY PROBABLY NEVER MOVE OUT OF I DONT KNOW A SQUARE MILE IN ITS ENTIRE
LIFETIME AND THEYVE GOT SOME PRETTY VIRILE WORMS WHAT IT SEES WHAT WHAT IT
SEES TO IT I MEAN IF IT SEES OR HEARS THE ROAR OF AN AEROPLANE ABOVE IT ITS AS
PERPLEXING TO A WORM AS I DONT KNOW AN ECLIPSE TO US SOMETHING ASTRONOMICAL
TO US AND HIS TRYING TO WORK OUT WHAT IT IS IS LIKE OUR TRYING TO WORK OUT WHAT
GOD IS FUNNY THE WAY YOU TEND TO WRAP ASTRONOMICAL ROUND A GODLY EXISTENCE
YOU SEE THIS IS JUST THE WAY YOUVE BEEN BROUGHT UP WHEN YOU WERE YOUNG
TO ASSUME THAT GOD LIVES IN THE SKY I WASNT I WAS NOT BROUGHT UP TO THINK
ANYTHING ABOUT GOD WELL YOUVE COME ACROSS IT SOMEWHERE ALONG THE LINE ANYWAY
THAT GOD LIVES ABOVE YOU AND IF THERES GOING TO BE ONE YOU SHOULD BE ABLE
TO TALK ABOUT IT HES GOING TO LIVE IN THE SKY WELL IT WOULD BE RATHER A NARROW
MINDED ATTITUDE TO THINK THAT IF GOD IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS VAST UNIVERSE
THAT HE SHOULD BE SITUATED HERE ON OUR PLANET WHICH IS THE MINUTEST DROP IN THE
OCEAN IF HE IS SITUATED ITS SO TO SPEAK I MEAN I I DONT I CANT SEE WHY
CHRISTIANS PRAY TO GOD EITHER WELL CHRISTIANS BELIEVE THAT GOD ALTHOUGH HE
CREATED ALL THE EARTH AND UNIVERSE IS ALSO IMMANENT AND ITS A PERSONAL GOD
WHICH IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN CHRISTIANITY AND MOST OTHER RELIGIONS BECAUSE
MOST OTHER RELIGIONS THINK OF GOD AS BEING COMPLETELY APART WELL GOD CANT BE
SO PERSONAL CAN HE I MEAN PRETTY FANTASTIC WELL THAT MAY BE BUT
I THINK THE ESSENCE OF CHRISTIAN BELIEF IS THAT GOD IS A PERSONAL GOD AND AND
HOW DOES A CHRISTIAN IN IN THAT CASE ACCOUNT FOR THOSE SORT OF MISHAPS TO THE
RIGHTEOUS PEOPLE OH BECAUSE I MEAN YOU MEAN THINGS LIKE TRAIN CRASHES AND
THINGS WHERE A LOT OF PEOPLE ARE KILLED WELL BECAUSE IF GOD WERE TO INTERFERE
BECAUSE THE PEOPLE GOING TO IN THAT CRASH WERE PARTICULARLY RELIGIOUS IT WOULD
BE TAKING AWAY THE EFFORTS OF FREE WILL BUT I THOUGHT YOUR GOD WAS RESPONSIBLE
HE DOESNT HE DOESNT INTERFERE WELL YOU WOULDNT PRAY FOR HIM BECAUSE GOD
TO INTERFERE THEN I THOUGHT GOD WAS RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS GOD GAVE MAN THE WILL
TO CHOOSE WELL WHY DYOU PRAY IN THAT CASE BECAUSE AND THEREFORE HE DOESNT
INTERFERE YOU ASK HIM TO INTERFERE WHETHER ITS INTERFERENCE BY GUIDANCE OR
DIRECT INTERFERENCE THERES STILL INTERFERENCE ISNT IT WELL ITS I MEAN WELL NOT
TO YOU ONE DOESNT KNOW THAT THERES GOING TO BE A TRAIN CRASH AND THEREFORE
ONE DOESNT SAY TO GOD PLEASE STOP THIS TRAIN CRASH ONE DOESNT HAPPEN I MEAN
ONE DOESNT KNOW ABOUT IT TILL ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENED BUT YOU MIGHT BEFORE YOU
GO ON A TRAIN JOURNEY SIT DOWN IN THE RAILWAY STATION AND HAVE A GOOD PRAY AND
SAY AND SAY WELL TAKE CARE OF ME ON THE TRAIN WELL DONT LET THERE BE A TRAIN
CRASH DYOU THINK THATLL MAKE A SCRAP OF DIFFERENCE I THINK THAT THE ACTUAL
CHOICE EVERYTHING IS THE ACTUAL MISTAKE IS USUALLY SOMETHING DUE TO MAN HIMSELF
AND GOD IS NOT GOING TO INTERFERE WITH THINGS LIKE THAT WOULD YOU AGREE WITH
ME THAT EVERYTHING IS PREDESTINED TO HAPPEN IN SOME SENSE NO NO NO BECAUSE I
THINK THAT I THINK YOU SEE YOU ARE TRIFLING WITH SPIRITUAL THINGS
WHICH IS SO UNNECESSARY TO DO YOU ALL YOUVE GOT TO DO IS TO BE SATISFIED
WITH THE MEN AROUND YOU OH I AM ALTER THEM IN YOUR OWN WAY TO SUIT YOU BUT HOW
DID WE EVER MANAGE TO GET ON TO THIS BUT NOT TRY AND JUGGLE WITH SPIRITUAL
THINGS WHICH YOU WHICH YOU MAKE UP TO SUIT YOU DYOU THINK THERES ANY
RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN THINGS LIKE TELEPATHY AND THE POSSIBILITY OF THE EXISTENCE
OF GOD TELEPATHY AND PRECOGNITION HAVE YOU GOT ENOUGH IVE GOT SOME
THANKS SORRY I DONT SMOKE WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THIS OR DYOU THINK THIS IS
JUST EXCUSE ME A LOAD OF FAIRY STORIES AS WELL WHAT WAS THIS SORRY OH TELEPATHY
PRECOGNITION HAVE YOU BEEN TO A QUAKER MEETING NO NO OH YOU MUST GO SOMETIME ITS
QUITE INTERESTING HAVE YOU BEEN TO A SEANCE YES IVE BEEN TO A SEANCE NO YOU SEE
YOU SEE SEANCES ADVERTISED IN THE EVENING NEWS REALLY YES IF YOU LOOK ON ON
THE PAGE WHERE THEYRE ADVERTISING ALL THE FLICKS AND EVERYTHING ELSE IF YOU
LOOK IN THE MIDDLE YOU KNOW SORT OF THE MIDDLING BOTTOM YOULL SEE MRS GARIBALDI*

WILL BE HOLDING A SEANCE AT FORTY SIX MAYVILLE* ROAD ON SATURDAY SEVEN THIRTY
PM SOMETHING LIKE THAT ARE THEY A LOT OF CRANKS
THAT GO OR THEY REALLY WELL I I DONT KNOW
I THINK SOME I THINK A LOT OF ITS PUT UP I MEAN YOU KNOW REALLY ARTIFICIAL
I THINK WELL ITS PROBABLY SINCERE TO THEM YOU SEE OH BUT YOU GET PEOPLE LIKE
I MEAN DID YOU JUST GO ALONG FOR THE FUN I SHOULDNT THINK SO WHAT DID HAPPEN
WELL YOU JUST SAT THERE AND LAUGHED WELL I DIDNT LAUGH YOU COULDNT LAUGH YOU
KNOW ITD SPOIL IT FOR OTHER PEOPLE HOW DO YOU EXPLAIN THESE THINGS LIKE YOU
KNOW WHEN YOU PUT SOMEBODY ON A PIECE OF CARDBOARD OR SOMETHING TWO PEOPLE
HOLD THE EDGES HAVE YOU SEEN WHAT HAPPENS AND I DONT KNOW THE DETAILS BUT THE
PERSON ON THE CARDBOARD CLOSES THEIR EYES AND LOOK YOU WOBBLE IT OR AND THEY
JUMP OFF AND ITS AS IF THEY FEEL AS IF THEYRE JUMPING OFF FROM ABOUT A HUNDRED
FOOT DROP OR SOMETHING ITS LIKE SORT OF THAT THAT GAME WHERE YOU HAVE A SMOOTH
TABLE AND YOU HAVE LETTERS ALL ROUND AND A GLASS AND YOU PUSH A GLASS ROUND
DONT YOU OH YES YOU DONT YOURE NOT SUPPOSED TO PUSH THE GLASS AND BUT YOU DO
PROBABLY YOU DO YOU SEE WHAT HAPPENS IN THAT GLASS THING IS THIS THAT IF
SOMEBODY ASKS YOU A QUESTION LIKE WHAT DID YOU HAVE FOR LUNCH THE FIRST LETTER
OF IT OR SOMETHING AND IF YOU CANT REMEMBER POSSIBLY OR EVEN IF YOU CAN YOU
CANT DO ANYTHING AND THE GLASS SLIDES SO EASILY THAT YOU AUTOMATICALLY IF YOU
HAD EGGS YOU PUSH IT TO E YOU SEE BUT THERES ANOTHER THING IVE SEEN AND THERES
A WHOLE CROWD OF YOU AND ONE PERSON GOES OUTSIDE AND YOU PICK ON ONE PERSON IN
THE ROOM AND THEN YOU STAND IN A CIRCLE AND THE OTHER PERSON COMES IN AND SHE
CLOSES HER EYES AND SORT OF TURNS ROUND AND IMMEDIATELY PICKS ON THAT PERSON



MUGGINS HERE IS THE ONLY ONE WHO GIVES TWO WELL IM PROBABLY LUMBERED WITH
A SECOND ONE AS WELL REALLY WHAT FOR IM GLAD YOURE BOTH GIVING TWO THE
WHORF* THE WHORF* HYPOTHESIS SORRY THE WHORF* HYPOTHESIS IS THIS NOT REALLY
A CONTINUATION OF YOUR EARLIER ONE I SUPPOSE SO IN A WAY BUT SURELY THE
CRITERION IS HOW LONG THE PAPER LASTS IS IT NOT TRUE AND ARE YOU RATHER THAN
THE SUBJECT MATTER ISNT THAT PROBABLY JUST AS MUCH NO ITS NOT PROBABLY NOT
UNLESS OF COURSE YOU CARRY OUT YOUR ORIGINAL IDEA WHICH YOU PUT TO ME YESTERDAY
FINALLY TO SETTLE THE WHORF* HYPOTHESIS OH YES YES OF COURSE THERES NO POINT
IN JUST SCRATCHING AWAY ON THE SURFACE QUITE MY DEAR FELLOW OBVIOUSLY YOUVE GOT
TO TIDY IT UP ALTOGETHER OY IM LOOKING FORWARD TO HEARING WHAT THE WHORF*
HYPOTHESIS IS IN THE FIRST PLACE DONT YOU KNOW WHAT ITS BUT THE THOUGHT OF
MY GIVING A SECOND SEMINAR HORRIFIES ME IT STRUCK ME DUMB AS YOU WERE AWARE
WHY WHY NO IT DIDNT THE VERY OPPOSITE IT STRUCK ME DUMB FOR A COUPLE OF
MINUTES WHILE YOU DISCUSSED THE YOURS YOURS WAS A VERY INTERESTING SEMINAR
OH I SEE I THOUGHT WELL DRAW A VEIL OVER THAT THANK YOU PARDON WHAT ARE YOU
GOING TO SPEAK ON THE SECOND TIME NEIL* LANGUAGES IN CONTACT OH YES PECULIAR
INTONATION WAS IT MMMM ALSO IM USING GLOTTAL STOPS AGAIN I MUST STOP WHY
CONGRATULATIONS ALL THE BEST PEOPLE USE GLOTTAL STOPS ONE GETS TO THE POINT
OF LISTENING TO ONESELF DOESNT ONE I I FOUGHT AGAINST IT DONT YOU ALL THE
TIME NO I DONT OH I BEGAN TO DO IT WHEN I I WAS STARTING TO TEACH AND
I THOUGHT NO DEFINITELY NOT I OCCASIONALLY DO AND I PERFORM A LOT BETTER
WHEN IM NOT DOING OBVIOUSLY I SUPPOSE ANYONE DOES DONT THEY PERFORM IN WHAT
WAY BETTER YES PRECISELY I MEAN FOR FOREIGNERS IF ONE IS GIVING A SEMINAR
OR A TALK IF ONE IS LISTENING TO WHAT ONE SAYS YOURE SPEAKING PRESUMABLY FAR
MORE CLEARLY AND MORE COHERENTLY AND THIS IS GOING TO BE MUCH MORE
COMPREHENSIBLE YES WELL OBVIOUSLY IT DEPENDS ON ON THE PERSONALITY OF THE
PERSON IN QUESTION DOESNT IT I FIND THAT IF I AM LISTENING TO WHAT I AM
SAYING AND HOW IM SAYING IT IM TERRIBLY SELF CRITICAL BECAUSE IM REALIZING
ALL THE TIME THAT I COULDVE SAID THINGS IN A BETTER WAY I COULDVE MADE
MYSELF MORE CLEAR I COULD EVENVE PRONOUNCED THE WORDS MORE DISTINCTLY AND
SO ON YES YES I FIND THAT AND THIS THEN TENDS TO HINDER ME IN WHAT I WANT
TO SAY NEXT I REALLY MEANT LISTENING TO ONESELF IN JUST ORDINARY CASUAL
CONVERSATION I CAN THINK OF ONE OCCASION WHEN I DO IT BUT OTHERWISE I DONT
WHEN IM STARTING TO STAMMER BECAUSE I USED TO STAMMER QUITE A BIT THEN I

START LISTENING TO MYSELF TO TO ELIMINATE IT WAS THIS PRE OR AFTER WHEN IVE
DONE THE FIRST STAMMER I TAKE A GRIP ON MYSELF AND SAY NOW MILDRED*
YOU KNOW LISTEN CAREFULLY YOURE ON FAMILIAR TERMS YES DOES THAT CAUSE YOU
SURPRISE YOUVE BEEN INTRODUCED THEN WAS THIS AFTER THEN THE MENINGITIS OR OH ILL
SCREAM IF YOU MENTION THAT WORD AGAIN ILL TURN IT DOWN IF YOU DONT MIND
OH I CAN SCREAM CAN I TELL YOU ABOUT THE TIME WHEN I SCREAMED YES YES
LETS ALL HAVE A GOOD COUGH FIRST IVE GOT A TERRIBLE FROG IN MY THROAT GO ON
HAVE A DOG BISCUIT WELL I MET A THIEF IN MY HOUSE IN IBADAN I HAD ONE OF THOSE
NICE OLD TROPICAL HOUSES I WAS VERY LUCKY IT WAS ABOUT THIRTY YEARS OLD ON
STONE PILLARS WITH A LONG STONE STAIRCASE UP AND FOLDING DOORS BACK ON TO A
VERANDAH AND I CAME THROUGH THE DOOR FROM THE KITCHEN AND A THIEF CARRYING
MY HANDBAG EMERGED THROUGH MY BEDROOM DOOR INTO THE LIVING ROOM AT THE SAME
MOMENT SPLENDIDLY TIMED AND I COULDNT BELIEVE MY EYES FOR A MINUTE I GAVE A
LITTLE SORT OF GULP AND IT FLASHED THROUGH MY MIND THIS WONT DO AND YOU KNOW
I THOUGHT AFTERWARDS THE RESULT OF YEARS OF HOCKEY TEAM NETBALL TEAM
GYMNASTICS ATHLETICS RUGGER GIRL GUIDES BE PREPARED JUDO DO YOU KNOW WHAT I
DID SCREAMED YOU SAID GOOD AFTERNOON I SCREAMED OH AND MY SCREAM WENT
WAFTING OUT ON THE NIGHT AIR AND SOME NEIGHBOURS WHO THEY WERE MY NEAREST
NEIGHBOURS BUT THEY WERE STILL SOME DISTANCE AWAY CAME RUSHING ALONG THEY
WERE AWFULLY GOOD AND THEY SAID AFTERWARDS THEY THOUGHT ID BEEN BEING
MURDERED WELL I COULDNTVE MADE MORE NOISE IF I HAD BEEN BUT I SURPRISED MYSELF
REALLY THE SOUND THAT WENT FLOATING OUT ON THE AIR I DIDNT KNOW I HAD IT
IN ME AND THEY SAID IT WOULD MAKE MY FORTUNE IF I WENT TO TO HOLLYWOOD AND I
MAY SAY IT SURPRISED THE THIEF SUFFICIENTLY THAT HE DROPPED MY HANDBAG
FLED FORTUNATELY I WASNT BETWEEN HIM AND THE DOOR SO THERE WAS NO HARM DONE
AND I DIDNT LOSE ANYTHING FORTUNATELY FOR HIM OR FORTUNATELY FOR YOU
FORTUNATELY FOR YOU OH FOR ME THEY GENERALLY CARRY
I SOMEONE WAS MURDERED IN THE CENTRAL HOTEL IN KANO QUITE RECENTLY OH YES YES
ALTHOUGH PEOPLE DID SAY THAT THERE WERE WHEELS WITHIN WHEELS IN THAT BUT WELL
YOU GET BETWEEN A FLEEING THIEF AND HIS EXIT AND HES BOUND TO BE CARRYING
A KNIFE BUT ANYHOW THE ONLY THING I LOST WAS MY VOICE I COULDNT SPEAK FOR A WEEK
AFTERWARDS YOU MEAN IN THE WAY ONE LOSES ONES VOICE WHEN ONE HAS A COLD
AND ONE CAN ONLY TALK LIKE THIS YES OR WERE YOU JUST SPEECHLESS YES I DONT
THINK I LOOKED QUITE LIKE THAT NEIL* BUT NO IN OTHER WORDS COULD YOU
COULD YOU UTTER SOMETHING WHICH WAS A PHARYNGAL WHISPER AND NOTHING ELSE
OR COULD YOU JUST PSYCHOLOGICALLY NOT SPEAK A PHARYNGAL WHISPER NO IT WAS PARTLY
SHOCK BUT CHIEFLY THE EXCELLENT EFFORT ID MADE IN SCREAMING MY VOCAL CORDS WERE
QUITE WORN OUT AND IT DIDNT COME BACK FOR A WEEK IT WAS SO SILLY YOU KNOW
IN THE OFFICE NEXT DAY PICKING UP THE TELEPHONE IM SORRY I MET A THIEF I
CANT SPEAK YOU SHOULDVE WRITTEN IT I MET A THIEF GOSH BUT AFTER YEARS
IN SCHOOL BEING AND AT HOME TOO FOR THAT MATTER BEING TRAINED DONT SCREAM
DEAR I WAS REALLY QUITE SURPRISED AT WHAT I COULD PRODUCE WHEN I FELT I HAD TO
WHICH PROVES THAT  PRACTICE DOES NOT MAKE PERFECT THAT IN CRISIS ONE RISES
CERTAINLY WITH REGARD TO SOME THINGS MAYBE YES ONE COULD DIVIDE THINGS INTO
THOSE WHICH ARE MADE PERFECT BY PRACTICE AND THOSE WHICH ARE NOT MADE PERFECT
THOSE WHICH ARE MADE IMPERFECT ITS RATHER A DIVISION ON THE OTHER HAND I DONT
KNOW WHAT I MIGHT HAVE BEEN ABLE TO DO IF ID BEEN PRACTISING SCREAMS FOR A FEW
YEARS YOUDVE GOT YOURSELF RUN IN MOST PROBABLY I DONT KNOW YOU COULD IN AFRICA
SURELY YOU COULD TAKE THE FIRST TRAM CAR TO A SPOT FIFTY MILES AWAY FROM
ANYWHERE OF COURSE THEY HAVE TRAM SERVICES TO POSH SPOTS FIFTY MILES FROM
EVERYWHERE EVERY TEN MINUTES IN IBADAN OF COURSE YOU DONT REALIZE DAVID*
FIFTY MILES AWAY IS YOUR NEXT DOOR NEIGHBOUR NOT IN IBADAN I BET YOUR SCREAM
WOULDNT REACH OVER FIFTY MILES WOULDNT BE AUDIBLE AT THE OTHER END OF FIFTY
MILES NO BUT OF COURSE WHAT ONE HAS DONE OR SAID STRETCHES MORE THAN FIFTY
MILES WERENT YOU SURPRISED NEIL* AS TO HOW WORD WENT ROUND THE REGION
OR EVEN AROUND THE COUNTRY ABOUT YOU I FOUND I WAS
KNOWN IN PLACES MILES AWAY FROM ANYWHERE IVE BEEN BEFORE MMMM I WASNT
SURPRISED THAT I WAS KNOWN THROUGHOUT NUPE BECAUSE I WAS THE FIRST PERSON
TO COME AND STUDY THEM IN THAT WAY PURELY AS A LINGUIST AND THEREFORE WORD
WENT ABOUT BECAUSE OF MY CURIOSITY VALUE FROM THAT POINT OF VIEW BUT I WAS

SURPRISED THAT ONE OR TWO PEOPLE HADNT HEARD OF ME I WAS VERY HURT FOR
INSTANCE OH WHAT A SHAME THE EMIR OF LAPAI HAD NEVER HEARD OF ME OH DEAR
I WAS VERY I MEAN THE EMIR OF AGAIE WAS VERY FRIENDLY NICE MAN TOOK ME
ROUND BUT I WENT TO LAPAI ONCE AND HE SAID WHO ARE YOU SO I SAID SMITH* WHO
ARE YOU AND HE WAS A BIT INSULTED BY THAT SO WE BROKE EVEN BUT BUT SURELY
THOSE WERENT ON THE RANK OF EMIRATES THERE WERE ONLY SEVEN IN THE NORTH
WERENT THERE OH NO SEVEN FIRST CLASS EMIRS AH YES THIRTEEN FIRST CLASS
EMIRS OR TWELVE SURELY NOT THERE ARE MORE THAN SEVEN AND THEN THERE ARE
SEVEN CHIEF ONES I THOUGHT WE FOUND ANOTHER TITLE FOR THE REST AH THATS RIGHT
THERE ARE THE SEVEN CHIEF EMIRS FIRST SORRY SEVEN FIRST CLASS EMIRS TWENTY
SECOND CLASS EMIRS AND I THINK ITS ABOUT FORTY THIRD CLASS EMIRS AH YES I CAN
WELL BELIEVE THAT NOW EMIR OF BIDA IS FIRST CLASS AGAIE IS SECOND CLASS
LAPAI IS THIRD CLASS YES YES BECAUSE I HADNT HEARD OF THOSE OTHER TWO
NAMES BUT OF COURSE IVE BEEN IN THE WIVES QUARTERS OF THE EMIR OF BIDA HAVE
YOU I MAY SAY THAT AS I STEPPED THROUGH THE DOOR I THOUGHT I HOPE THERES NO
UNWRITTEN LAW THAT NOBODYS TOLD ME THAT ONCE YOU STEPPED IN YOU DONT STEP
OUT AGAIN POSSESSION IS NINE POINTS OF THE LAW IT WAS VERY INTERESTING
HOW MANY WIVES HAD HE I THINK WELL ALLOWING FOR THERE BEING NO COMMUNICATION
IN THE WAY OF LANGUAGE BEYOND GESTURES AND SMILES AND THINGS PROBABLY ABOUT
SEVEN OR EIGHT WERE THESE ALL THE EMIR THAT YOU SAW HAD IN FACT OFFICIALLY
FOUR WIVES BECAUSE THISS THE MOSLEM MAXIMUM BUT HE INCLUDING CONCUBINES
HE HAD NINETEEN NINETEEN AH YES BECAUSE THAT EMIR HAS DIED SINCE HASNT HE
YES HE DIED THE DAY I ARRIVED OH YES I TOOK A MAGNIFICENT PHOTO OF HIM
OR PERHAPS I SHOULD SAY A PHOTO OF HIM LOOKING MAGNIFICENT VERY MODEST
OH I GOT NO ILLUSIONS I TAKE PHOTOGRAPHS OF THINGS THAT INTEREST ME BUT THEY
ARENT WORKS OF ART AT ALL I HAVE SOME WHAT THE THINGS THAT INTEREST
YOU OR YES THOSE TOO WOULD THESE WIVES THESE SEVENTEEN OR WHATEVER THEY
WERE ALL BE FROM THAT PART OF NIGERIA OR WERE THERE ANY RATHER MORE EXOTIC WIVES
AMONGST THE COLLECTION AS FAR AS I KNOW THEY WERE ALL NUPES ALTHOUGH HE
MIGHTVE HAD A COUPLE OF
HAUSAS OR A FULANI IN WITH THEM THE NUPES RATHER LIKE THE FULANIS AND HE
PROBABLY HAD ONE OR TWO OF THEM BUT I DIDNT SEE THEM ALL CONGREGATED BECAUSE
AS I SAY HE DIED WHEN THE DAY I ARRIVED AND THEREFORE HIS WIVES WERENT ON
VIEW BUT WHEN PRINCESS ALEXANDRA* WENT TO BIDA I DIDNT KNOW SHE HAD BEEN
THEY PARADED AND ALL NINETEEN WIVES AND CONCUBINES WERE DRESSED IDENTICALLY
AND LINED UP IN A ROW TO BE INTRODUCED TO HIM TO HER SORRY FOR CEREMONIAL
OCCASIONS THE WOMEN AND THE MEN TOO FOR THAT MATTER DO DRESS ALIKE ITS A
SUBTLE COMPLIMENT EITHER TO YOUR HOST AND HOSTESS OR TO THE SERIOUSNESS OF
THE OCCASION ILL TRY TO REMEMBER TO WEAR MY BEER BOTTLE BEADS SOME ONE DAY
YOUR BIDA ONES MY BIDA ONES HAVE YOU SEEN THESE NEIL* SEEN THEM MADE YES
MADE OF COLOURED GLASS AND IVE GOT SOME BEAUTIFUL SEA GREEN ONES WHICH ARE
IN FACT MADE OUT OF BEER BOTTLES AND I BROUGHT BACK SOME ROYAL BLUE ONES FOR
ONE OF MY SISTERS AND THESE ARE MADE OF MILK OF MAGNESIA BOTTLES MILK OF
MAGNESIA WHAT SORT OF BEADS ARE THEY THEN JUST SORT OF ORDINARY RATHER CRUDE
BEADS OF VARIOUS SHAPES WITH A HOLE IN THE MIDDLE I SEE THERES A LONG
TRADITION OF WHICH NUPES CLAIM GOES BACK TO PHOENICIAN AND EGYPTIAN TIMES AND
ONE OF THE CLAIMS OF THE NUPE DYNASTY IS THAT IT CAME FROM EGYPT ALTHOUGH THIS
IS NOT VERY WELL FOUNDED IN FACT AND THEIR GLASS MAKING CAPABILITIES ARE
SUPPOSED TO STEM FROM THERE AND ORIGINALLY THEY USED TO MAKE GLASS THEIR OWN
GLASS OUT OF SAND AND SILICA WHICH THEY MINED IN THE AREA AND THIS WAS A
SPECIAL BLACK KIND OF GLASS WHICH IS NOW VERY RARE AND MUCH PRIZED AND IS
NEVER USED AND THEY CHANGED WITH THE COMING OF EUROPEANS TO MELT DOWN OLD
GLASS AND THEN MELT IN ONE OR TWO OTHER THINGS SOMETIMES A BIT OF SILICA
AND OR SOMETIMES DYE TO MAKE VARIOUS BEADS
WHICH THEY THEN HAVE ON AN OPEN FURNACE AND THEY TWIST ROUND ON IRON STAVES AND
THEN ADD DIFFERENT COLOURED GLASSES ALL TOGETHER AND MAKE THE HOLE WHILE
THEYRE ACTUALLY DOING IT ITS VERY INTERESTING TO WATCH THEM THE FIRE IS
BLOWN UP BY A BELLOWS MADE OUT OF A GOAT SKIN AND A SMALL BOY
IS THERE SORT OF WORKING THE HIND LEGS OF THE GOAT SKIN AND BLOWING THE AIR
INTO THE FIRE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HUT BOY AGED FOUR USUALLY OR SOMETHING

LIKE THAT WORKING SEVEN OR EIGHT HOURS A DAY GOOD LORD YOU TWO SHOULD GET
TOGETHER AND GIVE A TALK TO THE LINGUISTIC CIRCLE ON THIS AFTER ALL PEOPLE
PEOPLE HAVE PITY DID YOU HAVE BEEN KNOWN TO TALK ABOUT SUCH THINGS AS BIRD
SOUNDS IN NIGERIA NOW NEIL* CHECK THAT UNKIND WORD I DONT KNOW QUITE WHAT
YOURE GOING TO SAY TO THE SUGGESTION THAT WE SHOULD GET TOGETHER BUT IVE A
FEELING I DONT WANT TO HEAR IT NO NO NO HE WAS HE WAS PULLING HIS HAIR OUT
FOR ANOTHER REASON I WAS PULLING MY HAIR OUT FOR A TOTALLY DIFFERENT REASON
OH HOW NICE DIDNT YOU DIDNT YOU HEAR THE RECENT TALK IN THE LINGUISTIC
CIRCLE DIDNT GO TO MR CARNOCHANS* TALK DID YOU AT BEDFORD COLLEGE MR
CARNOCHANS* TALK YES I DID FIELD TECHNIQUES IN NIGERIA I HAVENT MISSED A
LINGUISTIC CIRCLE YET OH YES I WAS THERE YOU WERE DEEPLY IMPRESSED NO DOUBT
RARELY HAS SO MUCH TIME BEEN WASTED BY SO MANY PEOPLE ON A MATTER OF SUCH
INFINITISMAL VALUE I SHOULD WATCH IT NEIL* YOURE PUTTING THIS ON RECORD HE HEARD
ME I MADE A RUDE REMARK ABOUT IT IN MY USUAL WAY LIKE I DO WITH OTHER OH
WELL ITS A FREE COUNTRY I VERY MUCH ENJOYED THE INTRODUCTION TO THAT TALK
AND THEN I SAT THATS ALL IT WAS THOUGH I SETTLED BACK WAITING FOR THE REST
OF THE TALK AND FOUND WE WERE EXPECTED TO GO HOME IVE JUST JUST AN INTRODUCTION
WASNT IT WED BETTER ERASE THIS HE MIGHT BE MY EXAMINER YOUR EXAMINER OR OH
I SEE YES IN ANY CASE HES NOT LIKELY TO LISTEN TO THIS TAPE IS HE NO BUT
OTHER PEOLE MIGHT WELL IF THERES A POSSIBILITY WILL IT BE PUT ON RECORD I
MEAN THIS WILL BE TRANSCRIBED AND YOU KNOW WHO LOOKS AT ALL THE TRANSCRIPTIONS
WHAT DID YOU SAY NEVER MIND WHAT FOR NO NO THERES NO POINT IN WELL WE CAN
SORT OF ERASE IT AFTERWARDS CANT WE WIPE SOME OF IT OFF NO IT DOESNT MATTER
I DONT CARE ANYWAY WELL IF YOURE GOING TO CAN DO IF YOURE GOING TO ERASE
ANYTHING I THINK NOW IS THE MOMENT IF NOT I DONT WHAT DID YOU SAY I DONT
THINK YOU LADS TREAT ME WITH THE RESPECT THAT MY GREY HAIRS GREY DESERVE IM
AFRAID IM COLOUR BLIND CANT SEE IT OH ISNT THAT NICE WELL I PULL OUT A FEW
NOW AND AGAIN BUT YOURE GOING BALD DOESNT THAT MAKE THEM GROW ALL THE MORE
OR SOMETHING IF YOU PULL THEM OUT THEN OR IS THIS ANOTHER OLD WIVES TALE
THAT IF YOU PULL OUT ONE GREY HAIR TWO GROW IN ITS PLACE ITS A GOOD WAY OF
CURING INCIPIENT BALDNESS IDVE THOUGHT I WOULDNT KNOW BUT WHEN I WAS EIGHTEEN
I WAS EIGHTEEN ONCE SOMEBODY FOUND TWO WHITE HAIRS IN THE CROWN OF MY HEAD
APPARENTLY I ALWAYS GROW THEM WE HAVE A LONG HISTORY OF WHITE HAIR IN MY
FAMILY YES BUT JUST TWO IN THE CROWN OF ONES HEAD AND MY YOUGEST NIECE
HAS EXACTLY THE SAME THING I PULLED HERS OUT WHEN SHE WAS SIX AND I THINK
THEY WERE SO DISCOURAGED THEY HAVENT GROWN AGAIN TUT TUT ITS CRUEL ITS ISNT
IT WHAT DO YOU MEAN WHEN YOU SAY YOU HAVE A LONG HISTORY OF WHITE HAIR IN
YOUR FAMILY MY GRANDFATHER WENT WHITE AT THE AGE OF TWENTY ONE MY FATHER IS
PRETTY WELL WHITE WELL HE HIDES IT CONVINCINGLY HAS HE LOST ANY OF HIS HAIR
YOUR FATHER HAS HE GOT A BALD PATCH AT THE BACK OR RECEDING A BIT AT THE
TEMPLES NOTHING MUCH HES ONLY GOT BALD PATCHES WHERE HE FELL ON HIS HEAD
OH POOR MAN HOW DID HE DO THAT OH FALLING OFF A MOTOR BIKE HE USED TO BE A
WHAT DO THEY CALL IT DIRT TRACK RIDER REALLY THAT MUST REQUIRE NERVES OF IRON
THIS WAS ABOUT WHAT YEAR IS IT THIRTY FIVE OR FORTY YEARS AGO WAS HE A LEG
TRAILER THEN YEAH HE WAS A LEG TRAILER I SUPPOSE MOST OF THEM WERE IN THOSE
DAYS THEY NEARLY ALL WERE IN FACT HE WAS BOTH KINDS HE HAD ABOUT EIGHTEEN
MOTOR BIKES AND CHANGED HIS STYLE I BELIEVE BUT THIS WAS A LITTLE BEFORE MY TIME
WHAT IS A LEG TRAILER WELL ITS ONE TERM IN A SYSTEM WHICH HAS TWO TERMS
ONE OF WHICH IS LEG TRAILING AND THE OTHER IS HOW IS WHATS THE OTHER ONE
CALLED I DONT KNOW WHETHER THERES A NAME FOR IT YOU JUST HAVE LEG TRAILING
AND NON LEG TRAILING WHEN YOURE CORNERING ON A MOTOR BIKE ON A DIRT TRACK
TO HOLD THE BIKE UP YOU PUT YOUR INSIDE FOOT ON THE GROUND WELL ITS NOT
EXACTLY TO HOLD THE BIKE UP OH BECAUSE OF WHAT DO THEY CALL IT CENTRIFUGAL
FORCE MMMM ITS NOT REALLY CENTRIFUGAL FORCE LETS NOT CONFUSE THE ISSUE
WITH FACTS IN THE SCIENTIFIC THINGS ANYWAY THERE ARE TWO WAYS OF PUTTING YOUR
FOOT ON THE GROUND ONE IS TO HAVE YOUR FOOT JUST AT THE SIDE OF YOU AS IVE
GOT MY FOOT NOW IMAGINE IM ON A MOTOR BIKE YES THE OTHER IS TO LET YOUR
FOOT TRAIL LIKE THIS AS YOURE GOING ROUND THE CORNER AND THIS IS THE OLD
STYLE WHICH SEEMS TOVE DIED OUT THESE DAYS PRESUMABLY BECAUSE ITS INFERIOR
BUT IT LOOKS FAR MORE SPECTACULAR YEAH IT WEARS YOUR FEET OUT MUCH MORE QUICKLY

WELL I THINK YOU WEAR BOOTS STEEL TOE CAPS STEEL TOE CAPS IN FACT AND HOB
NAILED SOCKS BUT OF COURSE YES WELL WELL WELL YOUR FATHER WAS A DIRT TRACK
RIDER MY FATHER HAS BEEN MOST THINGS IN HIS TIME EXCITING YOU DID TELL ME
ONCE THAT HE KNEW LAWRENCE* DIDNT YOU YES LAWRENCE* OF ARABIA THAT LAWRENCE*
HOW LONG DID HE KNOW HIM FOR HOW LONG WERE THEY ASSOCIATED I DONT KNOW I
MEAN THIS WAS AGAIN BEFORE MY TIME BUT THEY USED TO GO MOTOR CYCLING
TOGETHER AND THAT IN FACT IS HOW THEY MET WHEN THEY LIVED IN SURREY MY FATHER
LIVED IN SURREY TOO WHERE THEN IT WAS IN ENGLAND IN ENGLAND YES AFTER
LAWRENCE* HAD BEEN IN ARABIA WHEN HED RETIRED UNDER THE NAME I THINK OF
BILL* SHAW* AND MY FATHER KNEW HIM THEN AND THEY USED TO MOTOR CYCLE TOGETHER
DID HE KNOW WHO LAWRENCE* WAS OR SUSPECTED I PRESUME SO YES I DONT REALLY
KNOW NEVER ASKED HIM I MUST ASK HIM SOMETIME HAVE YOU SEEN THE FILM
LAWRENCE* OF ARABIA YES AND I SAW THE PLAY TOO A COUPLE OF YEARS AGO YES I
KNOW WITH GUINESS* WAS IT GUINESS* YES I THINK SO I SAW THE FILM IN IRELAND A
COUPLE OF MONTHS AGO IN THE PLAY IT SHOULDVE BEEN GUINESS* BUT IT WASNT THE
NIGHT WE WENT FOR SOME REASON AND IN THE PLAY IN THE FILM OF COURSE ITS PETER*
OTOOLE* YES THATS RIGHT YES HE WAS GOOD I THINK NO I CANT I WOULDVE
REMEMBERED THAT THOUGH IVE SEEN HIM IN SOMETHING ELSE WHOOPS WHAT DID I SEE
HIM IN I SAW HIM IN A FILM OR A PLAY NO A PLAY BECKETT* BAAL* I THINK HAVE
YOU SEEN BAAL* BAAL* I DIDNT SEE BAAL* IM AFRAID YES BY BRECHT* WHEN YOU
WERE AWAY I THINK I DIDNT NO AND HE WAS QUITE EXCELLENT IN THAT HE HAD A TUT
WHAT DO YOU CALL IT A LIVERPOOL ACCENT A LIVERPUDLIAN ACCENT WHAT WAS BAAL*
IN THE ORIGINAL THEN WHAT WAS HIS ACCENT IT WASNT ANYTHING SPECIAL WAS IT
NO I DONT THINK SO I JUST CANT REMEMBER IN FACT I HADNT NOTICED NO THE
ACCENT OF LIVERPOOL SEEMS TO BE THE ACCENT OF THE STAGE AT THE MOMENT THE
BEATLES* SOMEHOW WELL YES BUT EVEN BEFORE THE BEATLES* IT WAS USED RATHER
A LOT ON ON THE STAGE SOMEHOW IT HAS POWER DOESNT IT ITS A FORCEFUL SORT OF
ACCENT FORCEFUL WHAT DO YOU MEAN AND I THINK THIS IS WHAT MAKES YEAH THATS
THE POINT WHAT DO I MEAN WELL YOU CAN ASSOCIATE VIGOUR AND FORCEFULNESS
WITH SOME ACCENTS AND NOT WITH OTHERS OBVIOUSLY YOU WOULDNT ASSOCIATE THE
SAME THING FORCEFULNESS WITH A WEST COUNTRY ACCENT WOULD YOU THIS WOULD
ALMOST MAKE YOU AAAHR THIS WOULD ALMOST MAKE YOU FALL ASLEEP WOULDNT IT BECAUSE
OF ITS SORT OF SLOWNESS AND DRAWLING SOUNDS OH COME COME CAREFUL NO IM NOT
SURE I AGREE WELL NOT NOT MAKE YOU FALL ASLEEP BUT MY FOREBEARS AND MY
ENVIRONMENT YEAH BUT WHEN IM NOT I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN THOUGH I KNOW WHAT YOU
MEAN SORRY IM IM WE KNOW WHAT HE MEANS LETS IGNORE HIM NO IM NOT TRYING
TO SUGGEST THAT A WEST COUNTRY ACCENT IS MONOTONOUS AND BORING FAR FROM IT I
THINK ITS EXTREMELY ATTRACTIVE BUT I WAS JUST MAKING A JUDGMENT ABOUT ACCENTS
ALONG ONE DIMENSION YES AND ONE END POINT OF THIS DIMENSION WOULD BE SORRY
FORCEFULNESS FORCEFULNESS ONE END POINT OF THIS DIMENSION WOULD BE SORT OF
STRENGTH VIGOUR FORCEFULNESS VITALITY VITALITY IS A MUCH BETTER WORD THANK YOU
VITALITY AND THE OTHER END WOULD OBVIOUSLY HAVE TO BE LACK OF EFFETENESS
VITALITY EFFETENESS NOT NECESSARILY I WOULDVE SAID RESERVE MORE BUT I WOULDNT
THAT TOO HAS NASTY CONNOTATIONS NO BECAUSE OH NO IM ALL FOR DECENT RESERVE
AH WHO MENTIONED DECENT I DID AND SOMEHOW I FEEL THAT THE ACCENT OF LIVERPOOL IS
IS A POWERFUL SORT OF ACCENT ITS ITS AGAIN YOU CAN MAKE THE SAME SORT OF
NO YOU CANT REALLY I WAS GOING TO SAY YOU CAN MAKE THE SAME SORT OF NAIVE
STATEMENTS AND JUDGMENTS ABOUT LANGUAGES NOT JUST DIALECTS BUT ABOUT
LANGUAGES AND YOU CAN SAY THAT FRENCH IS A WOMANS LANGUAGE FOR INSTANCE THE
LANGUAGE OF LOVE MAKING AH COME NOW AS WELL AS LOGIC AND DELICACY AND ELEGANCE
AND ACCURACY THIS IS DANGEROUS ISNT IT NO NO NO I TAKE ALL THIS BACK ITS
NONSENSE ABSOLUTE NONSENSE ITS DELIGHTFUL I APPRECIATE THAT GERMAN IS THE
LANGUAGE OF PHILOSOPHY NO THIS IS ALL RIDICULOUS NOW AS FAR AS LIVERPOOL
GOES I HADNT REALIZED THAT IT HAD SWEPT THE STAGE SO TO SPEAK I HAD THOUGHT OF
MANCHESTER BEING EQUALLY WELL THE TWORE MORE OR LESS THE SAME OR ARE THEY
PRACTICALLY THE SAME YES YES THEYRE VERY CLOSE ANYWAY THERES A CLINE AND
THEYRE FAIRLY CLOSE TOGETHER ARE THEY ALL RIGHT THEYRE VERY CLOSE
I WISH I COULD MIMIC IM NO GOOD AT REPRODUCING DIALECTS DO YOU KNOW WHAT
I MEAN LIKE I CANT QUITE DO IT BUT ITS SOMETHING LIKE THIS I THINK SO AH THATS
LOVELY A LOT OF AFFRICATION IN IT

DO YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN LIKE I THINK SO ANYWAY THAT WILL MESS UP THE WHOLE
ANALYSIS YES WELL SHELL OBVIOUSLY BE ABLE TO SORT OUT THE
OH DEAR HAVE WE GOT TO ERASE SOMETHING SCHALLFULLE NO NEVER WHOOPS NOT AGAIN
NO NO I DONT THINK SO BUT ANYWAY TO MAKE THAT POINT AGAIN I THINK ITS
SOMEHOW A POWERFUL SORT OF ACCENT I THINK IT HAS GOT VITALITY AND THEREFORE
I THINK THAT ITS PARTICULARLY APPROPRIATE GO ON THEN SNEEZE I ONLY WANTED TO
COUGH I THINK ITS PARTICULARLY PARTICULARLY APPROPRIATE THAT SUCH A FIGURE
AS BAAL* SHOULD SPEAK WITH THIS KIND OF ACCENT  BECAUSE HE WAS AS YOU KNOW
HAVING READ THE PLAY YES HE WASNT ALL THAT FORCEFUL WELL NO ESPECIALLY IN SPASMS
HE WAS ANYTHING BUT FORCEFUL YES HE TENDED TO RANGE BETWEEN MANIC
FORCEFULNESS AND OBLOMOVIAN SUPINENESS GOOD HEAVENS THAT WAS GOOD WASNT IT
WONDERFUL SHOULDNT IT BE SUPINITY I DONT KNOW ANYBODY ELSE READ OBLOMOV* NO
NO I DONT KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THIS THATS WHY IM KEEPING QUIET WELL PERHAPS
THEN WHAT I MEAN IS NOT SO MUCH FORCEFULNESS AND VITALITY AS SORT OF WELL
HARD LIVING THIS IS REALLY THE THING I WAS GETTING AT PROBABLY A TERRIBLY
PROPER ADVANCED RP YOU MIGHT ASSOCIATE WITH LADIES FROM CHELTENHAM MIGHT YOU
NOT AND AT THE OTHER EXTREME YOU WOULD HAVE ACCENTS SUCH AS BILLINGSGATE
FISHWIVES OH YES IF YOU LIKE BUT EVEN THE LIVERPOOL ACCENT THIS THIS WOULD BE
THE OTHER EXTREME AS BEING AN ACCENT USED BY RATHER EARTHY INDIVIDUALS I DONT
LIKE THIS LABELLING ACCORDING TO OH I LOVE IT I REMEMBER BEING RATHER
PEEVED WHEN I WAS WASHING UP AS A STUDENT IN A HOTEL KITCHEN TO BE ASKED
WHY I TALKED ALL QUOTE LADIDAH THE ASSUMPTION WAS THAT BECAUSE I DIDNT DROP
MY AITCHES ALL ROUND THAT I WOULDNT BE SO GOOD AT WASHING UP OR SWEEPING THE
FLOORS ACTUALLY YOU PROBABLY WERENT IVE HAD PLENTY OF PRACTICE IN IT MORE
PERHAPS THAN SOME NON AITCH DIALECT SPEAKERS YES TALKING POSH YES YES I DONT
LIKE THAT SORT OF JUDGMENT EITHER WAY NO ITS NOT VERY REALISTIC NO NO ITS NOT
VERY HELPFUL OBVIOUSLY BECAUSE THE VIEWPOINT OF THE PERSON WHOS MAKING
THE JUDGMENT IS QUITE DIFFERENT FROM THE VIEWPOINT OF THE PERSON WHOS
ACTUALLY USING THAT KIND OF LANGUAGE WITHIN ANY ONE TYPE OF SPEECH NO DOUBT
WITHIN ANY ONE DIALECT YOU CAN PROBABLY EXPRESS A WHOLE RANGE OF SENTENCES
OBVIOUSLY YOU CAN AND YES DO I MEAN SENTENCE I DONT REALLY MEAN SENTENCE
ATTITUDES ATTITUDES AND SO AND SO ON BUT YOU SEE YOU CANT REALLY MAKE JUDGMENTS
ABOUT ONE DIALECT USING THE FRAMEWORK OF REFERENCE THAT YOU ASSOCIATE WITH YOUR
OWN YES WOULD YOU LIKE TO DRAW A PICTURE YES I ALWAYS GET ON FAR BETTER IF I
CAN DRAW A DIAGRAM YES IT DOES HELP WHEN ONES READING THIS IS WHY IM WAVING
MY ARMS ABOUT BUT IN THIS CASE WE HAD A LOT OF WORK WHICH REQUIRED VERY LITTLE
SPEECH I MEAN WORK IN THE KITCHEN AND CLEANING GOOD HARD DOMESTIC WORK AND
THE ASSUMPTION WAS YOU SEE THAT IF YOU DIDNT WELL SPEAK A NON AITCH DIALECT
IS I THINK THE WAY TO EXPRESS IT YOU PROBABLY WOULDNT BE MUCH GOOD AT
KITCHEN CHORES WELL BELIEVE ME THATS NOT THE CASE AT ALL WELL ITS MERELY
EXCLUSION FROM THE SOCIAL SET IN WHICH YOU HAPPEN TO
YES AND THE ASSUMPTION THAT PERHAPS SOMEBODY FROM ANOTHER SOCIAL SET YOU
KNOW NEVER SOILS HER DAINTY FINGURES WITH A WASHING UP MOP WHICH IS OF COURSE
NONSENSE WHICH IS NONSENSE AND ALSO COULD IT NOT BE
PARTLY THE FACT THAT BEING BY VIRTUE OF A DIFFERENCE IN ACCENT FROM A DIFFERENT
SOCIAL SET EVEN IF THAT SOCIAL SET WERE CAPABLE OF SOILING ITS HANDS IN THIS
WAY THEY WOULDNT BE ABLE TO FIT THEMSELVES IN TO ANOTHER SOCIAL SET DOING
THAT THING EVEN IF THEY COULD DO IT IN ISOLATION YES I SUPPOSE THAT WAS THE
UNDERLYING IDEA IN THE MIND OF THE SPEAKER WHO SAID THIS OF COURSE AND IT
TOOK SOME DAYS TO REALIZE THAT IT WASNT SO YOU WERE AS GRIMY AS THE REAT OF THEM
NO BUT I COULD WORK AS HARD WHICH SHOULD WE SAY AS CLEAN AS THE REST
OF THEM AND WHEN IT COMES TO WASHING UP IVE HAD AS MUCH PRACTICE AS ANYBODY
AND ALSO I EXPLAINED IN THIS IN THE TERMS IVE WAS I WAS TRYING TO GET OVER
BEFORE IF IM A COCKNEY SHALL WE SAY FROM THE EAST END OF LONDON AND I
LISTENED TO ANOTHER PERSON WHO HAS EXACTLY THE SAME BACKGROUND AND YET TRIES
TO SPEAK A KIND OF RP THEN I WILL OBVIOUSLY MAKE A SORT OF WELL I MIGHT
ANYWAY MAKE AN ADVERSE JUDGMENT OF THIS PERSON BECAUSE I SEE HIM AS A CLIMBER
IN A WAY YES AND I WOULD NOT ASSOCIATE GETTING ONES HANDS DIRTY WITH
THAT TYPE OF PERSON A CLIMBER BUT THE PERSON WHO USES AN RP ACCENT BECAUSE
HES GROWN UP IN IN AN ENVIRONMENT WHERE ITS USED RP IS THE LANGUAGE IS

OBVIOUSLY NOT THAT TYPE OF PERSON AT ALL OR NEEDNT NECESSARILY BE YES AND
THEYRE PROBABLY MAKING A MISTAKE IN JUDGMENT THINKING THAT YOU ARE SEEKING
TO ACQUIRE IT IN WHICH CASE I MEAN YES WHICH YOU OBVIOUSLY ARENT IN MY
OPINION THATS ALL VERY WORTHY IF YOU WISH TO
BUT MY ANSWER TO THE QUESTION WAS WELL I SPEAK THE WAY MY PARENTS SPEAK
WHICH SEEMED TO CARRY THE MATTER OFF ALL RIGHT THEY DIDNT BLAME YOU FOR YOUR
PARENTS WELL OR IF THEY HAD I COULDVE TOLD YOU NEVER TRIED TO ADOPT YOURSELF
ADAPT YOURSELF AT ALL WELL ADOPT YOURSELF NO YOU HAVE TO BE MARRIED TO ADOPT
YOURSELF I THINK OH SORRY ACTUALLY ONE OF MY BROTHERS IS A WONDERFUL MIMIC
HE CAN HE CAN TAKE UP AND DROP ANY DIALECT I JUST CANT YEAH ONE AND SOMETIMES
PEOPLE THINK YOU KNOW THAT ONE IS BEING DIFFICULT IN NOT SPEAKING AS THEY DO
MY BROTHER CAN TALK SOME SCOTTISH AND THE IRISH AND COCKNEY TOO OF COURSE I CANT
DO IT I MEAN I CAN REHEARSE ONE SENTENCE WHICH WHETHER IF YOU I WONT PUT ON TAPE
 IT WOULDNT BE KIND BUT I CAN PRODUCE A COUPLE OF REALLY GOOD SENTENCES AND I
CAN UNDERSTAND COCKNEY FAR BETTER THAN A LOT OF PEOPLE WHO HALF SPEAK IT
THEMSELVES BUT I CANT CANT MIMIC AT ALL CONVINCINGLY I CAN MIMIC COCKNEY
SPEECH I SUPPOSE REASONABLY WELL ESPECIALLY WHEN IM WITH COCKNEYS YES THIS IS
IT I THINK BEING ACTUALLY IN THE ENVIRONMENT AND HEARING IT AROUND YOU AND
THEN SIMPLY SPEAKING IN THE SAME WAY WELL SOME PEOPLE CAN CHANGE
IN THAT WAY BUT I I FIND IM NOT GOOD AT IT YES BUT I WAS THINKING
IF YOURE IN A CERTAIN CONTEXT FOR A LONG PERIOD YOU MIGHT FIND IT VERY EASY
TO ADAPT NOT ADOPT YOURSELF BECAUSE I WENT TO SCHOOL IN DEVON AND ID SPOKEN
RP ALL MY LIFE AND PEOPLE CAME UP AND LAUGHED AT ME AND AFTER A FEW WEEKS
I SPOKE DEVON FOR THE SIMPLE REASON THAT IT WAS MUCH MORE PEACEFUL THAT WAY
IVE HEARD OF MY FRIENDS DOING THAT ONE WELSH GIRL WENT INTO A SOUTHERN
ENGLISH SCHOOL AND IN A WEEK OR SO SHE WAS SPEAKING SOUTHERN ENGLISH RP
BUT SOME PEOPLE HAVE MORE OF A GIFT FOR THAT THAN OTHERS YES YES I WAS YOUNG
TOO YES YOU SAY YOU SPOKE RP AT HOME IN OTHER WORDS YOUR PARENTS SPOKE RP MY
PARENTS SPOKE RP WELL IM IN THE RATHER WELL NOT NECESSARILY RATHER UNUSUAL
SITUATION BUT MY SITUATION ANYWAY IS THAT MY PARENTS DONT SPEAK RP AND THAT
MY SPEECH IS NOW CLOSER TO RP THAN IT USED TO BE WHEN I WAS AT SCHOOL
AND SO WHEN I GO HOME I FIND THAT I WANT TO SPEAK WITH A LEICESTERSHIRE
OR LEICESTER ACCENT AGAIN BECAUSE OTHERWISE I WOULD IMMEDIATELY PUT A
BARRIER BETWEEN MYSELF AND MY PARENTS SO MY SPEECH IS TERRIBLY DIFFERENT WHEN
IM AT HOME YES IVE HEARD OF OTHER PEOPLE LIKE THAT WITH TWO LANGUAGES IVE
NEVER BEEN IN THE SITUATION OF NEEDING TO DO THAT BUT I DONT THINK I COULD IF
I HAD TO YES YES BUT ITS VERY INTERESTING HOW DO YOU FEEL SCHIZOPHRENIC I
MEAN DO YOU DELIBERATELY CHANGE OR DO YOU FIND YOURSELF ITS COMING OUT THAT
ITS SIMPLY COMING OUT IN ANOTHER WAY WHEN IVE BEEN THERE FOR A DAY OR SO I FIND
MYSELF USING THE VOWEL SOUNDS THAT MY PARENTS AND MY BROTHER USE WITHOUT
ANY TROUBLE AT ALL IS IT CONSCIOUS AND DELIBERATE YOU TRY TO CHANGE AT FIRST
ITS PERHAPS A BIT CONSCIOUS BUT AFTER A TIME ITS NOT ITS CERTAINLY NOT SO I
DONT REALLY HAVE TO THINK ABOUT IT AND THEN WHEN I COME BACK DOWN HERE
I DONT REALLY HAVE TO THINK ABOUT TRYING TO SPEAK RP AGAIN AND I DONT SEEM
TO MAKE A LOT OF MISTAKES WHAT IN RP YOU MEAN OR IN LEICESTER IN EITHER IN
EITHER CASE YOUVE GOT ONE OR TWO IDIOSYNCRATIC PRONUNCIATIONS LIKE YOUR BECAUSE
YES THIS IS TRUE YES BECAUSE I ASKED MY FATHER HOW HE PRONOUNCES THIS IN FACT
BECAUSE ID NOT FOUND OUT ABOUT MY PRONUNCIATION BECAUSE UNTIL VERY VERY
RECENTLY UNTIL SINCE I WAS HOME THE TIME BEFORE TILL I ASKED YOU
MAYBE PROBABLY IN FACT THATS PROBABLY WHEN I FOUND OUT ABOUT IT SO ONE
OF THE FIRST THINGS I DID WHEN I GOT HOME WAS TO WRITE THIS WORD ON A
PIECE OF PAPER HE CAN READ AND ASK MY FATHER TO WELL WITH A BIT OF PROMPTING
YOU KNOW I SAID B B B LIKE THAT AND HE MANAGED TO READ IT
AND SURE ENOUGH HE SAID BECAUSE AHA I HAD TO WRITE A WHOLE SENTENCE OBVIOUSLY
BECAUSE ON ITS OWN HE MIGHT WELLVE SAID BECAUSE BUT HE SAID BECAUSE I DIDNT TRY
MY MOTHER BUT QUITE POSSIBLY SHED HAVE SAID IT IN THE SAME WAY GOSH IM
HUNGRY ARE YOU NIBBLE ONE OF MY FINGERS IF YOU LIKE HOW DO YOU GET YOUR MEALS
DO YOU CATER FOR YOURSELF OR DO YOU HAVE IT COOKED FOR YOU I HAVE LUNCH
AND DINNER IN COLLEGE OR IN ONE OF THE REFECTORIES OR RESTAURANTS
REFECTORIES IS THAT IS THIS IN THE EPD THIS IS I DONT KNOW ITS A CATHOLIC

PRONUNCIATION IS IT REFECTORY IS THE NORMAL PROTESTANT PRONUNCIATION
SO IM ASSURED IVE NEVER HEARD THE OTHER ONE WHICH OTHER ONE NEILS* DO YOU
MEAN REFECTORY THE ONE THAT YOUVE JUST SAID IVE NEVER HEARD BEFORE NO WELL
IVE HEARD NEIL* USE IT BEFORE I NORMALLY USE REFECTORY NO ITS AN AFFECTATION
PICKED UP FROM CATHOLIC FRIENDS HOW DO YOU PRONOUNCE M A DOUBLE S WHEN IT
REFERS NOT TO A GROUP OF PEOPLE I KNOW THE POINT I STILL SAY MASS I DONT SAY
MASS YOU STILL SAY MASS YOU DONT SAY MASS NO THAT IS DO CATHOLICS ON THE WHOLE
SAY MASS USUALLY YES A LOT OF THEM YES THEY DO AND THATS A FAIRLY WELL KNOWN
DIFFERENCE BUT THIS WELL THE OTHER ONE INTERPRETATION IS NOT A VERY WELL
KNOWN WORD ANYWAY IM SORRY I DONT MEAN INTERPRETATION PRONUNCIATION OF WHAT I
WOULD CALL REFECTORY IM INTERESTED IN I I NEVER REALIZED THERE WAS A
DIVISION ON RELIGIOUS GROUNDS IVE NEVER HEARD OF ANY OTHER POSSIBLE
PRONUNCIATION OH MAKES ME REALIZE IVE BEEN GOING AROUND DEAF I MEAN GOOD
CATHOLIC FRIENDS OF MINE IVE NEVER HEARD THEM SAY ANYTHING BUT REFECTORY OH
WELL I EXPECT YOU MOVE IN DIFFERENT CATHOLIC SOCIAL CIRCLES NOT OFTEN HAS IT
FINISHED NO ITS NOT FINISHED YET TALKING ABOUT THATS FUNNY THOUGH WHY TALKING
ABOUT FOOD ITS OFF THE REEL YES THATS A FIVE AND HALF A FIVE CAN WE LET IT
PLAY ON IF WE DONT MESS IT ABOUT AT ALL ITLL BE ALL RIGHT IT SHOULD BE ALL RIGHT
BUT THEN WELL HAVE TO STOP BEFORE IT ACTUALLY FINISHES AND PLAY IT BACK ON THE
FAST REWIND OTHERWISE ITLL GET MESSED UP YES KEEP AN EYE ON IT SO THAT IT
DOESNT FALL OFF WHATRE THESE NUMBERS MARKED ON IT WHAT NUMBERS WHICH ONES
COMING ROUND NOW BLACK ON THE BROWN IVE NEVER WORKED OUT WHAT THEY MEAN
THEYRE AT INTERVALS OH THATS THE BASF IVE NEVER SEEN THEM BEFORE IT REMINDS
ME OF A TIME THAT I HAD TO MAKE A TAPE RECORDING IT WAS FOR A SCHOOLS BROADCAST
THAT I GOT SOMEBODY IN ESPECIALLY TO RECORD A POEM AND HE WAS A VERY BUSY MAN
A NIGERIAN WITH BEAUTIFUL ENGLISH I WAS VERY GLAD THAT HE SPARED THE TIME TO
RECORD THIS AND HE CAME AND HE READ THE POEM AND HE WENT OFF AND I WENT ALONG
TO THE RECORDING ROOM AND THE ENGINEER HANDED ME THE TAPE WITHOUT BATTING
AN EYELASH AND HE I TOOK IT HOME PLAYED IT IT WAS ONLY ABOUT THE DAY BEFORE
IT HAD TO BE DESPATCHED TO LAGOS THERE WAS NOTHING ON THE TAPE AT ALL HE JUST
HADNT PRESSED THE RIGHT KNOB AND HE MUSTVE KNOWN YOU KNOW PLAYING IT BACK
AND HED HANDED ME A PERFECTLY BLANK TAPE OH DEAR THAT WAS A DAY INTERESTING
THOUGH OH VERY INTERESTING A VERY REVEALING EXPERIENCE SO THERE I HAD A
BATTLE DOES ONE INCIDENTALLY BAT EYELASHES OR EYELIDS NOT IN MY IDIOLECT
INTERESTING VARIANT YOU KNOW AS I WAS SAYING IT THERE SEEMED TO BE THERE
WAS SOMETHING NOT QUITE NATURAL AND I DECIDED IT WAS JUST SELF CONSCIOUSNESS
YOU THOUGHT IT WAS JUST US SPEAK FOR YOURSELF YES NO JUST THAT THAT TAPE THOSE
ARE SERIAL NUMBERS WHAT DO YOU BAT EYELIDS ISNT IT EYELIDS YOU EITHER BAT
AN EYELID OR OUT OF HELL NOT AN EYELASH BUT YOUR EYELASHES ARE ON EYELIDS
BAT AN EYELID OH YES OK AND THAT THIS IS IRRELEVANT YOUR FINGERS ARE
ON YOUR HANDS BUT THEN YOU CANT SAY IM ALL HANDS AND THUMBS DO YOU NO YOUR
THUMBS ARE ON YOUR HANDS TOO NO THATS NOT THE SAME THING THATS IRRELEVANT
ID RATHER THINK YOU DONT SAY HES GOT A BEE IN HIS HATBAND EITHER TAGMEMICS
TAGMEMICS YES SORRY THANK YOU FOR THE CORRECTION ILL HAVE TO THINK ABOUT THAT
IF I USUALLY SAY EYELASH I THINK I DO IT MUSTVE BEEN THE LOOK IN YOUR
EYE THAT MADE ME FEEL THERE WAS SOMETHING WRONG I WASNT LOOKING I WAS
LOOKING AT YOU THOUGH NO ITS ME I I PULLED YOU UP ON IT DIDNT I IN MY NORMAL
UNCOUTH MANNER YES YOU COMMENTED BUT NEIL* JUMPED IN TO STAMP ME DOWN
I NOTICED IT SORT OF SUBCONSCIOUSLY I HEAR APPROACHING FEET
COME IN COME IN COME THROUGH THE AIRLOCK AT LAST ELHAMDU LILLAH THE TAPE
THE TAPE IS STILL GOING ROUND ITS STILL GOING ROUND
BUT THE SPOOL ITS PLAYING ON TO IS SMALLER THAN THAN THE ONE ITS PLAYING
OFF OF OFF OF FROM YES OFF OF OF OF MARVELLOUS BOYS ITS NOT MARVELLOUS ITS
I FORGOT TO LEAVE THE SPOOL FOR YOU YES WELL I FORGOT ABOUT THAT MYSELF I
DIDNT THINK ABOUT IT WELL WE SHOULD BE OK THOUGH SHOULDNT WE ALTHOUGH WHEN
YOU WHEN YOU START TO PLAY IT BACK FAST IN THE OTHER DIRECTION IS IT GOING
TO YOU KNOW SORT OF JERK OFF GUIDE IT THROUGH YOUR FINGERS IT SHOULDNT JERK
OFF BUT DONT LET IT COME OFF OTHERWISE ITLL IS IT AT THE END YET NO ITS NOT
ANOTHER FIVE MINUTES ISNT THERE YES NO BETTER FINISH THAT WE CAN FINISH NOW CAN
WE NO I MEAN CONTINUE TILL YOU FINISH IT

ACTUALLY THIS IS ON TOP OF HALLIDAY* SO IT DOESNT MATTER THATS ALL RIGHT
DO YOU REALIZE WERE ERASING YOUR SEMINAR PLEASE WHATS THE TIME TWENTY FIVE
PAST TWENTY FIVE PAST IS IT ON TOP OF HALLIDAY* REALLY YES WERE ERASING
HALLIDAY* LOOK YOU REALLY SHOULDNT TELL SUCH OBVIOUS LIES OR UNOBVIOUS ONES
EITHER FOR THAT MATTER WHY HOW DO YOU MEAN DONT YOU BELIEVE ME
WHEN HE HAS THAT LOOK IN HIS EYE YOU NEEDNT BELIEVE A WORD HE SAYS WHICH EYE
BOTH OF THEM OH OR HAVE YOU GOT A THIRD EYE HAVE YOU READ THAT BOOK CALLED
THE THIRD EYE BY THE WAY LOBSANG* RAMPA* YES HAVE YOU READ IT YES IVE ALSO
READ THE CRITICISMS AND THE DISPROVEMENTS THEREOF OH NO I HAVENT READ THESE
AT ALL I MEAN IM ENJOYING IT YOUD BETTER PUT ME IN THE PICTURE I HAVENT READ
ANY I HAVENT READ ANYTHING OF IT ENJOYING IT AS SIMPLY AS A BOOK TO READ I WAS
I WAS FASCINATED I WAS FASCINATED TOO DO TELL ME ABOUT THE DISPROVEMENTS
THOUGH I SUPPOSE I OUGHT TO KNOW ABOUT THEM WELL TELL ME ABOUT THE BOOK
ITSELF FIRST THIS IS A BOOK ENTITLED THE THIRD EYE
BY T LOBSANG* RAMPA* AND ITS THE STORY OF A NOVICE LAMAIST BUDDHIST MONK IN
TIBET AND THE TRAINING HE HAS HIS FAMILY BACKGROUND WHAT GOES ON IN THE
MONASTERY ETCETERA ETCETERA ETCETERA AND WITH QUITE OUTRAGEOUS AND ALMOST
UNBELIEVABLE EVENTS TAKING PLACE EG THE OPENING OF THE THIRD EYE IN THE
FOREHEAD SO THAT YOU CAN SEE AURAS* AND HAVE EXTRASENSORY PERCEPTION
FLYING KITES IN THE HIMALAYAS AND SO ON AND THIS WAS PUBLISHED I THINK IN THE
EARLY FIFTIES OH YES ACTUALLY ITS FAMILIAR NOW WASNT PART OF IT
PUBLISHED AS NEWSPAPER EXTRACTS AS A SORT OF SERIAL IT WAS SERIALIZED
LATER IN THE EXPRESS I THINK I THOUGHT IT WAS A LITTLE LATER THAN THAT YES
I READ IT COULD BE I THINK WEVE FINISHED

THEY MIND THAT YOU WERE TRAVELLING AROUND BY TRAIN ALL THE TIME
WHAT DO YOU MEAN THEY MIND WELL IN THIS COUNTRY YOU SEE YOURE ONLY ALLOWED
TO STAY IN YOUTH HOSTELS IF YOURE IF YOURE WALKING OR CYCLING OH DIDNT YOU
KNOW THAT NOT IN SCOTLAND BUT IN ENGLAND WELL NO THIS THIS USED TO BE THE
CASE BUT ITS NOT TRUE NOW IF YOU CAN ARRIVE AT A YOUTH HOSTEL IN A CAR
YOU CAN ARRIVE IN A YOUTH HOSTEL RIGHT FROM A TRAIN CAN YOU YES OH YES
UNDER THE PROVISO THAT YOU SHOULD YOU YOURE ONLY USING THE CAR TO GET FROM
ONE PLACE TO ANOTHER AND THEN YOURE GOING TO START WALKING FROM THERE WELL
THIS ISNT SO WITH US REALLY NO NO I MEAN WERE JUST GOING TO BUT IT WASNT
SO WITH AFAF* EITHER SURELY I MEAN YOU DIDNT DO ANY LONG DISTANCE WALKING
OR ANYTHING IN SCANDINAVIA DID YOU NO I MEAN IN HITCH HIKING YOU MEAN OR
YES WELL HIKING YOU KNOW WALKING ON FOOT NO NO NO YOU MEAN TO REACH FROM
ONE PLACE TO ANOTHER YES NO NEVER YOU JUST LOOKED AT A CITY AND THEN YOU
MOVED ON TO THE NEXT CITY DID YOU YES I SEE AND DID YOU BUT THERE WERE MANY
PEOPLE WHO HAD PRIVATE CARS AND WHO WERE STAYING IN THE YOUTH HOSTEL IN
AND STAYED IN YOUTH HOSTELS IS THAT SO GOOD GRACIOUS
THEY HAD A BIG GARAGE THERE DID THEY IN GERMANY THEY DO YES IN WHERE
COPENHAGEN YES AND AND DID YOU FIND THE YOUTH HOSTELS IN MOST OF THE
CENTRES IN IN SWEDEN I WENT TO STOCKHOLM WHERE THE YOUTH HOSTEL IS A SHIP
OH IS IT A VERY BEAUTIFUL SHIP HOW LOVELY YES YES AND DID YOU HAVE
DIFFICULTY GETTING INTO IT DID YOU BOOK BEFOREHAND WELL I JUST SENT A CARD
I DIDNT EVEN SEND THE MONEY I OUGHT TO HAVE SENT THE MONEY BUT I DIDNT
KNOW BUT I FOUND THAT THEY BOOKED A PLACE FOR ME OH I SEE AND IT WAS ALWAYS
MUCH BETTER AND I MEAN YOU CAN BE ABSOLUTELY SURE TO GET A PLACE IF YOU REACH
THE YOUTH HOSTEL IN THE MORNING BECAUSE IN THE MORNING MANY PEOPLE ARE LEAVING
YES BUT IF YOU REACH AT NIGHT SPECIALLY LATE SAY ABOUT EIGHT OR NINE
YES ITS RATHER UNLIKELY WELL THATS THE TROUBLE YES BUT WHAT CHANCE HAVE YOU GOT
TO REACH A YOUTH HOSTEL IN THE MORNING IF YOU ARE TRAVELLING BY NIGHT OH I SEE
YES THE FIRST THING YOU DO IS TO GO TO THE YOUTH HOSTEL
BOOK A PLACE FOR THE NIGHT YES THATS SENSIBLE YES YES AND THEN GO AND
OH WELL I IM COMFORTED BY THAT BECAUSE WE NEEDNT BE ASHAMED OF GOING
TO YOUTH HOSTELS JUST BECAUSE WERE GOING ROUND BY TRAIN OH NO WELL IN
GERMANY THEY ALWAYS ALWAYS PROVIDE A GARAGE OR A CAR OR A SCOOTER PARK OR
SOMETHING LIKE THAT IN THE YOUTH HOSTELS YES DO THEY YES BUT I THOUGHT
IN BAVARIA SURELY THEYRE VERY THEYRE VERY TICKLISH ABOUT PEOPLE GOING ROUND

BY THEIR THEY CERTAINLY WERENT NOT IN THE NOT IN THE BLACK FOREST WHERE I
WAS WERENT THEY IVE NEVER HEARD OF THAT I MEAN I WENT TO YOUTH HOSTELS IN
HOLLAND AS WELL AND MANY OF THEM HAD CARS AND BICYCLES AND THINGS
YES ITS ONLY IN ENGLAND I THINK YES THERES A SORT OF SPARTAN TRADITION
WHICH SAYS THAT YOU CAN ONLY YOURE ONLY ALLOWED TO USE YOUTH HOSTELS
PROVIDED YOU PROMISE NOT TO ENJOY YOURSELF OH NO ITS NOT TRUE SO YOU TAKE A
COLD SHOWER EVERY MORNING AND YOU YOU HAVE BURNT PORRIDGE EVERY DAY FOR
BREAKFAST AND THEN YOU GO OUT INTO THE POURING RAIN WITH THE MINIMUM OF
CLOTHING ON AND WITH WELL THAT CLOTHING ITS GOT TO BE
WET AND AND THEN YOU TRAMP SOLIDLY FOR
ABOUT THIRTY YOU CAN WALK ABOUT THIRTY MILES THROUGH THE
POURING RAIN AND THEN YOU TURN UP GLOWING AND BEAMING ALL OVER YOUR FACE
SINGING HEARTY SONGS IN THE END IN THE EVENING AND THEN SPEND THE REST OF
THE EVENING SINGING SINGING HEARTY CAMP FIRE SONGS IN FRONT OF A GRATE
WHICH HAS NO FIRE IN IT AND ITS SNOWING OUTSIDE DO YOU SEE THE THE GLORIES OF
YOUTH HOSTELLING YES I ENJOY IT VERY MUCH ACTUALLY I DO TOO DO DO THEY PROVIDE
MEALS IN MOST OF THE SCANDINAVIAN HOSTELS YES IF YOU WANT IT I MEAN YOU HAVE TO
PAY FOR EXTRA FOR BREAKFAST OR THE EVENING MEAL YES OF COURSE I USUALLY
HAD BREAKFAST AT THE YOUTH HOSTEL BUT NOT EVENING MEALS
NO ITS NOT VERY CONVENIENT TO GO BACK JUST FOR THE EVENING MEAL
YES NORWEGIAN FOODS SUPPOSED TO BE VERY GOOD ISNT IT IS IT I HAVENT BEEN
TO NORWAY AFAF* DIDNT GO TO NORWAY I HAVENT BEEN TO NORWAY YOU HAVENT BEEN
TO NORWAY AFAF* DIDNT GO TO NORWAY OH YOU DIDNT NO
WERE GOING TO WERE JUST GOING TO OSLO WERE NOT SPENDING MUCH TIME
IN NORWAY ACTUALLY DONT THEY SPECIALIZE IN ACTUALLY I WAS ONLY
FOUR HOURS FOUR HOURS AWAY FROM OSLO AND I DIDNT GO I WAS SO STUPID
I WAS FED UP WITH BEING A TOURIST FOR THREE WEEKS AND I COULDNT SEE
ANY MORE PALACES OR MUSEUMS OR ANYTHING BY THE TIME I REACHED STOCKHOLM
I COULDNT REMEMBER WHERE I SAW THIS THING OR THAT THING YOU KNOW I GOT MIXED UP
SO I REALLY WAS FED UP I DIDNT GO TO OSLO BUT OSLO IS NOT SUPPOSED TO BE A
VERY BEAUTIFUL CITY NO ITS JUST ITS IN A BEAUTIFUL SITUATION I BELIEVE BUT
ITS RATHER A DULL PLACE AS A CITY I HEAR THATS WHAT THEY SAY
OSLO IS THE CAPITAL OF NORWAY IS IT YES THANK YOU YES BUT WHAT IS THE
POINT OF TOURISM IVE OFTEN WONDERED THIS YES SO HAVE I ITS SOMETHING THAT SORT
OF WHY WELL ITS ITS ITS VERY ENJOYABLE YES YES WELL IS IT I MEAN YOUVE JUST
SAID YOURSELF THAT YOU YOU GOT FED UP WITH IT AFTER A TIME YES BUT AFTER
THREE WEEKS YES YES BUT THATS UNDERSTANDABLE I THINK WHATS REALLY
ENJOYABLE ALTHOUGH I QUITE ENJOY LOOKING ROUND MUSEUMS AND FINE BUILDINGS
AND SEE YOU KNOW ADMIRING THE BEAUTY OF THEM I THINK THE BEST THING IS MEETING
PEOPLE OF A FOREIGN COUNTRY AND SEEING HOW THEY LIVE YES I WAS VERY
LUCKY IN SWEDEN BECAUSE WHEN I WENT TO STOCKHOLM I STAYED WITH THESE PEOPLE
YES IN A FAMILY IN STOCKHOLM FOR THREE DAYS THEN I WENT TO UPPSALA WHICH IS
JUST
OH IS THAT WORTH GOING TO ITS A VERY SWEET LITTLE PLACE OH YES THERES
A UNIVERSITY THERE ISNT THERE YES AND THEN I TOOK THE TRAIN TO GOTHENBURG OH YES
IN THE SOUTH WEST WERE THINKING OF GOING THERE TOO IS THAT NICE
YES IT WAS VERY NICE ACTUALLY THE COUNTRYSIDE AROUND IS VERY BEAUTIFUL
IS IT I STAYED WITH ANOTHER FAMILY THERE THESE WERE TWO TWO GIRLS
WHOM I MET IN EDINBURGH THEY WERE DOING THE SUMMER VACATION COURSE IN EDINBURGH
OH THATS JOLLY NICE YES IT WAS DR HALLIDAY* WHO INTRODUCED ME TO THEM HOW NICE
AND I MET THEM JUST TWICE IN EDINBURGH AND THEY THEY SAID GET IN TOUCH WITH
US WHEN YOU ARE THERE WERE THEY SISTERS THEN YES OH I
SEE YES HOW NICE I WISH I I HAVENT GOT ANY CONTACTS I DONT THINK IN SCANDINAVIA
STILL PERHAPS WELL MEET SOMEBODY ON THE TRAIN YES YES PERHAPS A NICE GIRL
NO IT WOULD HARDLY BE PROPER FOR HER TO INVITE US TO STAY WITH THEM THEY
DONT MIND I DONT THINK IN SWEDEN THEYRE VERY UNINHIBITED VERY IMPROPER ALL
THE TIME I MUST LEARN SOME SWEDISH SO THAT I CAN SAY THE RIGHT THINGS
OH NO IF YOU PRETEND TO BE A NAIVE ENGLISH TOURIST OFTEN PEOPLE ARE ONLY
TOO PLEASED TO TO TAKE ANY OPPORTUNITY FOR PRACTISING THEIR ENGLISH
ITS WHEN YOU CAN CAN SPEAK SOME OF THE FOREIGN LANGUAGE THAT IT BECOMES

INFURIATING BECAUSE YOU WANT TO YOU WANT TO PRACTICE AND YOU CANT BECAUSE THEY
JUST WANT TO USE YOU FOR PRACTISING THEIR ENGLISH ON YES ACTUALLY THEY ARE VERY
GENEROUS THE SWEDES ARE THEY DID YOU FIND THAT YES
VERY GENEROUS DID YOU PICK UP ANY SWEDISH ACTUALLY NO EXCEPT FOR TAK SIMEKE
THANK YOU VERY MUCH AND THAT SORT OF THING YES WHATS THE COUNTRYSIDE LIKE
ROUND THERE BECAUSE I I IMAGINE THE WHOLE OF THE SOUTH OF SWEDEN AS RATHER
FLAT IT WAS ALL FOREST OH I MEAN WHEN I WHEN I TRAVELLED BY TRAIN THERE WERE
VERY THICK FORESTS ON BOTH BOTH SIDES OH REALLY BUT I LIKED IT VERY MUCH
YES DID YOU LIKE STOCKHOLM ITSELF YES ITS VERY MODERN ISNT IT YES IVE BEEN
TOLD ITS RATHER AMERICAN LOOKING NOT THAT
I KNOW WHAT AMERICA LOOKS LIKE BUT YOU KNOW ONE HAS ONES IMPRESSIONS OF
AMERICA ITS VERY CLEAN IS IT EXTRAORDINARILY CLEAN HOW LOVELY YES HOLLAND
IS VERY CLEAN AS WELL ISNT IT HOLLAND YES WOULDNT YOU SAY SO VERY CLEAN AND
DOMESTIC I I DONT KNOW MANY DUTCH PEOPLE I DIDNT EVEN NO I DIDNT EVEN MEET ANY
IN HOLLAND AT ALL NO DUTCH PEOPLE IN HOLLAND I MEAN I DIDNT TALK TO ANYBODY
AT ALL REALLY YOU HADNT MET WHATS HIS NAME WHO IN EDINBURGH
LUKE* LUKE* HE DIDNT GIVE YOU ANY CONTACTS WHEN YOU WENT WELL I DIDNT KNOW
HIM AT THAT TIME OH I SEE YES YES IT WOULD BE
DIFFERENT IF I GO NOW FOR INSTANCE I WOULD GO TO HAARLEM YES BECAUSE HE AND
HIS FAMILY LIVE THERE YES YES HAVE YOU BEEN TO GREECE BEFORE NO OH YOULL LIKE
THAT AND YUGOSLAVIA TOO I ALWAYS WANTED TO GO TO YUGOSLAVIA IVE ALWAYS BEEN
THROUGH YOU KNOW ON OUR WAY TO GREECE AND THE LEBANON
YES YES I AM DEFINITELY GOING TO YUGOSLAVIA AND GREECE THIS SUMMER
LOVELY YES FOR ABOUT ONE MONTH WHICH AUGUST I DONT KNOW IT DEPENDS ON
MY FRIENDS WHETHER THEY WILL WHAT TIME OF THE YEAR THEY WILL SOMEBODY WILL
BE THERE YES I DONT KNOW WHAT TIME WERE GOING EITHER WILL YOU HAVE TO STAY
IN BELGRADE ALL THE TIME BECAUSE ITS A PRETTY WELL I MEAN ITS NOT VERY
BEAUTIFUL COUNTRY I HOPE NOT I HOPE NOT BECAUSE MY FRIEND HAS ANOTHER HOUSE
IN OPATIA OH YES WHERES THAT ITS ON THE NEAR ISTRIA YOU KNOW VERY NORTHERN
NORTH END OF THE DALMATIAN COAST OH YES NEAR WHATS THE PLACE OPPOSITE VENICE
YES SHE SPENDS THE SUMMER THERE NOT FAR OPPOSITE TRIESTE TRIESTE MORE OR LESS
ON THAT PENINSULA YES HOW LOVELY THAT WOULD BE NICE YES ITS FUNNY THOUGH
SOME SOME YUGOSLAVS SEEM SURPRISINGLY WEALTHY ACTUALLY DONT THEY YES SHES
MARRIED AND SHE HAS NO CHILDREN OH I SEE AND SHES QUITE WELL OFF AND HER HUSBAND
IS RICH TOO SO SHE HAS A VERY LARGE FLAT IN BELGRADE AND SHE HAS A FLAT
IN THAT PLACE AS WELL HOW NICE AND I WAS SUPPOSED TO GO LAST SUMMER AND SHE
WROTE TO ME LAST SUMMER SAYING DO COME AND STAY WITH US AND SHE WAS GOING
WITH HER PARENTS TO ITALY FOR TWO WEEKS YES I WAS VERY KEEN ON GOING BUT I JUST
I DONT KNOW WHAT HAPPENED I I WAS ALL OF A SUDDEN I CHANGED MY MIND AND
DECIDED NOT TO GO ANYWHERE HOW ODD YES I FELT THAT COMING TO LONDON WAS
ENOUGH FOR ME I CANT TAKE TOO MUCH AT A TIME GO TO ONE FOREIGN COUNTRY
SO I DIDNT GO ANYWHERE SHE WAS VERY CROSS WITH ME REALLY CROSS OR JUST
POLITELY CROSS REALLY OH YES OH NO REALLY VERY CROSS BECAUSE I WROTE TO HER
SAYING IM COMING AND SHE SORT OF MADE ARRANGEMENTS ABOUT THAT AND SHE SHE
TOLD HER PARENTS TO GO IN THE BEGINNING OF SEPTEMBER TO ITALY JUST FOR MY
SAKE OH DEAR YES BECAUSE SHE THOUGHT ILL KEEP THEM COMPANY OH DEAR WELL
WHY DONT YOU READ YOUR LETTER WHILE WE WE CAN CARRY ON TALKING BECAUSE THEN
YOU CAN TELL US WHAT IT SAYS AFTERWARDS IT MAY SAY THAT YOURE NOT TO COME
AFTER ALL YES WHERE WHEREABOUTS ARE YOU GOING TO GO TO IN YUGOSLAVIA YOURSELF
WELL I DONT KNOW WE WE HOPE TO SEE DUBROVNIK I I PERSONALLY THINK THE
DALMATIAN COAST IS THE BEST PLACE BECAUSE IF YOU GO INLAND AT ALL
ITS VERY MUCH HOTTER IN IN MIDSUMMER YES WHEN WED HAVE TO GO
PROBABLY SO WELL PROBABLY GO TO THE DALMATIAN COAST I PREFER I DONT
LIKE THE SOUND OF OPATIA AND RIJEKA SO MUCH AS THE SMALL SOUTHERN TOWNS
YES YES LIKE DUBROVNIK DUBROVNIK SOUNDS VERY INTERESTING AND THERE ARE ALSO SOME
RATHER NICE HOLIDAYS IN THE BROCHURES I LOOKED AT FOR THE ACTUAL ISLANDS
PLACES LIKE HVAR AND KORCULA WHAT DO YOU MEAN TO SAY YOURE GOING ON A ON AN
ORGANIZED HOLIDAY AN ORGANIZED TOUR YES WELL IT SEEMS TO BE THE ONLY WAY
OF DOING IT ITS RATHER LIKE INTOURIST IN RUSSIA YOU KNOW WHEREVER YOU GO YOU
HAVE TO GO THROUGH AGENTS REALLY I SUPPOSE YOU COULD GO ON FREE LANCE HOLIDAYS

IN YUGOSLAVIA BUT IT COSTS SO MUCH MORE THATS THE BIG TROUBLE YOU SEE
OH YES AND THEY HAVE THESE STATE RUN HOTELS AND AND YES THATS RIGHT YES
ITS RATHER LIKE THAT ITS RATHER STATE RUN YOU KNOW WELL YOU KNOW ITS
INCREDIBLE WHEN WE WERE THINKING OF GOING TO
WHEN WE WERE MAKING INQUIRIES ABOUT GOING TO TURKEY THE MAN IN THE EMBASSY THERE
WAS VERY HELPFUL TERRIBLY HELPFUL AND TERRIBLY KIND AND TERRIBLY ENCOURAGING
WHAT AT THE TURKISH EMBASSY IN LONDON AT THE TURKISH EMBASSY IN LONDON AND
HE SAID THAT IN OH ANTALIA I THINK IT WAS ANTALIA OR I THINK IT IS ITS ONE OF
THE THE LEFT HAND TOWN ON THE BOTTOM COAST IN TURKEY OH YES THEYVE GOT
HOTEL FREE HOTELS THERE FREE HOTELS FREE HOTELS RUN BY THE STATE SPECIALLY FOR
TOURISTS HOW MARVELLOUS AND WE NEVER HEARD ANYTHING MORE ABOUT THAT WE DIDNT
GO THERE TO TRY IT OUT BUT IM SURE THERE CANT BE NO NO SANE GOVERNMENT WOULD
RUN FREE HOTELS BECAUSE I SUPPOSE IT COSTS SO MUCH TO GET THERE PERHAPS
THEY PERHAPS THEY DO BUT THE WHOLE POINT OF TOURISM IS THAT YOU YOU YOU RELIEVE
PEOPLE OF OF THEIR MONEY THEIR MONEY YES WELL I SUPPOSE PERHAPS THEY THEY
THINK YOULL SPEND A LOT IN THE SHOPS IF YOU DONT HAVE TO PAY YOUR HOTEL BILLS
THAT KIND OF THING BUT IT DOES SEEM MOST EXTRAORDINARY I MUST SAY PERHAPS
THEYRE VERY POOR HOTELS YES COULD MIGHT BE BUT ANYWAY IT SEEMS A VERY
SORT OF FORWARD LOOKING WAY FORWARD LOOKING APPROACH YES ASTONISHING BUT
I ALWAYS FEEL SORRY FOR TOURISTS FOR FOR COUNTRIES WHICH ARE HOPING TO GET LOTS
OF MONEY FOR TOURISM BECAUSE THEY HAVE PEOPLE WELL MOST OF THE PEOPLE THAT
WE MET OF COURSE WERE STUDENTS AND THERERE THERERE AN ENORMOUS NUMBER OF
GERMAN STUDENTS ROUND THE MIDDLE EAST GOING ROUND ON FOR NOTHING AT ALL
AND A LOT OF THEM SEEM TO BE GOING ROUND ON THEIR BLOOD YOU CAN GET FIVE
POUNDS FOR A PINT OF BLOOD IN GREECE CAN YOU REALLY YES AND THE SAME IN A SORT
OF BLOOD DONOR SCHEME YES YES THATS TRUE IN GREECE I THINK ITS
ITS IN TURKEY IT CERTAINLY IS IN THE LEBANON DO YOU REMEMBER WHEN I THINK
WAS IT WHEN WE WERE THERE WE MET SOMEBODY I DONT THINK SO WE MET SOME OR WAS IT
WHEN I WAS THERE THIS LAST TIME I THINK IT MUST HAVE BEEN THIS LAST TIME
IN BEIRUT YOU KEEP ON RUNNING ACROSS THESE INDIGENOUS GERMAN STUDENTS WHO
ARE JUST WHO ARE LITERALLY WILLING TO SELL YOU THE SHIRT
OFF THEIR BACK PAWNING THEIR CAMERAS LEFT RIGHT AND CENTRE REALLY AND AND
SELLING THEIR BLOOD AT FIVE POUNDS A PINT HOW GHASTLY THEY SEEM TO BE ENJOYING
IT AND THEY SEE THEY CERTAINLY SEE A LOT YES BUT SOUNDS RATHER A GOOD IDEA
REALLY BUT ITS TERRIBLY SORT OF BASIC AND GRUESOME IS IT WELL NO NOT
PARTICULARLY I MEAN ITS ALL DONE VERY HYGIENICALLY
YES BUT IT SEEMED A VERY GOOD IDEA PROVIDED YOUVE GOT ENOUGH BLOOD
LEFT AT THE END TO GET YOUR LAST FIVE POUNDS BECAUSE IF YOU RUN IT A BIT
CLOSE THEN YOU WELL HOW HOW SOON DOES IT HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE YOU TO MAKE
UP BLOOD YOU LOSE THEN I THINK ITS ONLY A MATTER OF A DAY OR TWO ISNT IT
I DONT KNOW BUT IM SURE THEYD KNOW THEY WOULDNT TAKE MORE THAN WAS GOOD
FOR YOU I SUPPOSE YOU COULD GO YOU COULD GO YOU COULD GO TO ONE HOSPITAL
AND AND SELL A PINT AND THEN GO TO ANOTHER HOSPITAL AND SELL SELL ANOTHER
PINT BUT AFTER TWO OR THREE PINTS IM SURE YOUD BEGIN TO LOOK A BIT BIT ANAEMIC
THEY WOULDNT BE TOO KEEN ON TAKING ANY MORE THEYD PROBABLY STICK SOMETHING
INTO YOU AND NOTHING WOULD COME OUT THEYD HAVE TO SORT OF PUMP IT
THEY PROBABLY THEY HAVE TO TEST YOU I SHOULD THINK BEFORE THEY CAN TAKE BLOOD
FROM YOU AND SEE THAT YOURE UP TO IT I DONT THINK THEY TEST THE BLOOD PRESSURE
DONT THEY WELL CERTAINLY WHEN I WHEN I WHEN I GAVE BLOOD IN CAMBRIDGE THEY
TESTED YOUR BLOOD TYPE IVE NEVER DONE IT ACTUALLY SUPPOSED TO BE GOOD FOR
YOU ACTUALLY ISNT IT TO LOSE SOME OF YOUR BLOOD SOME OF IT YES AND RENEW IT
WELL OFTEN THEY THEY IN THE SUDAN THEY STILL DO IT FOR ILLNESSES DO THEY
BLEEDING BLEED PEOPLE BUT DID YOU HAVE ANY ILL EFFECTS WHEN YOU WHEN YOU HAD
YOUR BLOOD TRANSFUSION I MEAN WHEN YOU GAVE BLOOD ER NO YOU FEEL A BIT DIZZY
AFTERWARDS YES FEEL A BIT AND YOU HAVE TO TAKE IT EASY FOR A BIT YOU LIE DOWN
DONT YOU USUALLY FOR MOST MOST CLINICS THEY MAKE YOU LIE DOWN FOR A QUARTER
OF AN HOUR AND THEN OH WELL YOU LIE DOWN WHILE YOURE ACTUALLY GIVING IT
AND THEN THEY GIVE YOU A CUP OF TEA AFTERWARDS
AND YOU SIT AND YOU SIT ABOUT A BIT AND AND THEN YOU GO BUT YOU DONT YOU DONT
HAVE TO DO ANY SPORT OR ANYTHING AFTERWARDS NO BUT HAVING JAUNDICE KNOCKS

THAT OUT FOR ME DOES IT YES WHAT FOR EVER YES YOURE NOT ALLOWED TO GIVE IT I
DONT KNOW WHY IT IS I SUPPOSE THERE MUST BE SOMETHING LINGERING LINGERING
ABOUT IN YOUR BLOOD MAKES IT DANGEROUS TO GIVE
IT I DONT KNOW WOULD YOU DO IT AGAIN IF IT WASNT FOR THAT OH YES WHATS
JAUNDICE EXACTLY JAUNDICE YES JARAGHAAN ISNT IT PARDON SOFIIR JARGHAAN I THINK
THEY CALL IT JAGHARAAN OR JARGHAAN EXPLAIN IN ENGLISH OH WELL WELL ITS
NEVER MIND DICK* YOU KNOW THE FRENCH WORD YOU KNOW THE FRENCH WORD
YES WELL I LEARNED THIS WORD BECAUSE I HAD TO TELL EVERYBODY IT MAYBE ONLY THAT
ITS ONLY SUDANESE YOU KNOW THE FRENCH WORD JAUNE YES YELLOW YELLOW WELL
JAUNDICE MEANS ITS THE DISEASE THAT MAKES YOU GO YELLOW AND YOUR YOUR EYES
GO YELLOW YOUR AND HOW WHERE DO YOU GET IT FROM ITS CAUGHT IS IT HEREDITARY
NO NO ITS CAUGHT FROM FROM WELL I THINK ITS FROM FOOD ANYWAY THERE ARE DIFFERENT
YELLOW IT MAKES YOUR LIVER INEFFICIENT SO THAT YOU CANT WHAT IT RELEASES
SORTS OF JAUNDICE BUT IT AFFECTS YOUR LIVER AND THATS WHAT MAKES YOU GO YOU GO
YELLOW IT MAKES YOUR LIVER INEFFICIENT SO THAT YOU CANT WHAT IT RELEASES
THE BILE DOES IT YES RELEASES THE BILE AND YOU CANT GET RID OF
OF WASTE MATTERS YOU CANT GET GET RID OF ALL THE BAD THINGS AND SO YOU HAVE TO
CUT DOWN YOU HAVE YOU CANT EAT ANY FAT AT ALL BECAUSE THIS PRODUCES A LOT OF
WASTE MATERIAL WHICH IS NORMALLY GOT RID OF BY THE BY THE LIVER OH YES AND AND
SO YOU HAVE TO YOU CANT HAVE ANY FAT YOU CANT HAVE ALCOHOL GOOD FOR YOU
YOU CANT HAVE STIMULANTS OR ANYTHING MY FATHER HAD IT AND WAS OFF ALCOHOL
FOR SIX MONTHS YOU CANT HAVE STIMULANTS WELL YOURE NOT SUPPOSED TO HAVE
STIMULANTS LIKE WELL LIKE WELL YOURE NOT SUPPOSED TO COFFEE NO NO NO NOT
STIMULANTS NOT COSMETICS AS THOUGH ONE EATS NO WHATS THE WORD IM LOOKING FOR
NOT COSMETICS CONDIMENTS WHAT PEPPER AND SALT YES BUT WELL NO PEPPER OR
IRRITANTS IRRITANTS NOT EVEN PEPPER OR SALT HELP THE AMOUNT OF SALT YOUVE
BEEN TAKING OH WELL I WENT I WENT ON WITH SALT THE THE JAUNDICE WENT ON WITH ME
AS WELL BUT ITS RATHER A NICE THING GOOD HEAVENS IT MAKES YOU
FEEL VERY TIRED WHAT ITS RATHER A NICE THING WELL IT WAS IT WAS GLORIOUS
I NEVER ENJOYED ENJOYED MYSELF SO MUCH AS WHEN I HAD JAUNDICE BECAUSE I
THOUGHT YOU GOT RATHER BORED RATHER FRUSTRATED THAT YOU WAS THAT YOU WERE
KEPT IDLE ALL THE TIME I WASNT KEPT IDLE ALL THE TIME BECAUSE IVE NEVER
DONE SO MUCH WORK IN ALL MY LIFE THERE JUST WASNT ANYTHING ELSE I COULD DO
YOU YOU WERE TOO TIRED NO NOT MENTALLY WERENT YOU PHYSICALLY PHYSICALLY I
COULDNT RUN ABOUT OR ANYTHING BUT I COULD JUST I COULD SIT SIT AND WORK
FOR TEN OR TWELVE HOURS A DAY COULD YOU YES OH THATS NICE DO YOU KNOW I
MET A MAN IN THE COMMON ROOM TODAY A CHAP FROM NEPAL WHO SAID THAT FOR THE
LAST SIX MONTHS HES WORKED
FIFTEEN HOURS A DAY NO AND HES DONE A PHD THESIS HES GOING TO HAND IT IN
MAY AND HES DONE IT IN ONE AND A HALF YEARS GOOD HEAVENS YES GOOD HEAVENS
OH YES HEAVENS HORRIFYING YES MIND YOU HES MARRIED HES GOT SOMEBODY
TO COOK HIS FOOD FOR HIM AND SO ON
SO THIS MAKES A DIFFERENCE BUT IT MUSTVE BEEN PRETTY HE MUST HAVE HE MUST
HAVE TREMENDOUS WILL POWER BECAUSE HE SAID THAT FOR PERHAPS FOR A WEEK
ON END HE HARDLY SAW HIS CHILDREN AT ALL HES GOT TWO CHILDREN
I THINK THATS GOING A BIT FAR ALTHOUGH I SUPPOSE ITS ECONOMICALLY PERHAPS
IT WAS NECESSARY FOR HIM WAS IT IT WAS ECONOMICALLY YES BECAUSE HE COULDNT
GET AN EXTENSION FROM HIS GOVERNMENT AND HES GOT TO FINISH HES GOT TO
FINISH THE DEGREE HES GOT TO GO BACK TO HIS COUNTRY WITH A DEGREE OTHERWISE HE
I THINK HE LOSES HIS JOB HES HES A READER IN THE UNIVERSITY OR ELSE HE
MISSES AN INCREMENT AND IF HE AND IF HE DOESNT GET THE DEGREE THIS MAY
HE WONT GET IT AT ALL BECAUSE HE CANT GET GET AN EXTENSION CANT HE WHICH
IS TOUGH IT DOES SEEM VERY TOUGH DOESNT IT YES BUT THAT FEELING OF
EXHAUSTION IS RATHER HORRIBLE ISNT IT NO I ENJOY IT DONT YOU FIND NO
WHEN I DO YOU KNOW WHEN I WAS TRAVELLING THROUGH ATHENS ON MY WAY BACK FROM
THE LEBANON YES YES I HAD THAT TERRIBLE I THINK IT WAS HEAT EXHAUSTION
YES YES OR SOMETHING AND YOU KNOW ID HAD THAT
DYSENTERY DYSENTERY AND SO ON AND I FOUND I GOT UP IN THE MORNING AND I
COULD I COULD BARELY WALK ABOUT A MILE DOWN TO THE MAIN SQUARE THE GARDENS
I USED TO SIT IN THE GARDENS AND WRITE PEOPLE POSTCARDS YES AND HONESTLY BY

THE TIME I WALKED THAT MILE DOWN TO THE GARDENS
I USED TO FEEL ABSOLUTELY EXHAUSTED I WAS JUST YES DRAGGING MY FEET AND THEN
GOING BACK IN THE IT WAS ALL I COULD DO IN THE AFTERNOON AND IN THE EVENING
TO GO BACK TO THE HOTEL JUST DRAGGING DRAGGING MY FOOTSTEPS IM TERRIBLY
SORRY WE SHOULDNT HAVE LEFT YOU NO NO I WAS QUITE HAPPY REALLY IT SOUNDS LIKE
IT I JUST FELT SO I FELT SO POSITIVELY EXHAUSTED IT WAS A MOST PECULIAR
FEELING IVE NEVER FELT LIKE THAT BEFORE OR SINCE I DONT 6ANT TO TURN YOU AWAY
BUT ITS QUARTER PAST ITS GETTING LATE YES I MUST I THINK I OUGHT TO GO IF YOU
DONT MIND DO YOU MIND OF COURSE I MIND BUT THERES NO ALTERNATIVE WELL I I CAN
FILL UP A BIT MORE AFTER THIS STOP IT AND WELL GO DOWN TO THE BUS
WELL YOU KNOW ITS
YES RATHER THAN DOING CLASSICS AS I DID EVENTUALLY LOOKING AT IT NOW I THINK ITS
REALLY FASCINATING AND I THINK OH DEAR I HAVE MISSED AN AWFUL LOT WELL YOU
KNOW I THINK THINGS THAT CAN BE FASCINATING AT THIS AGE YES CAN BE VERY
TEDIOUS AT A YOUNGER AGE I KNOW WITH HISTORY I THOUGHT HISTORY WAS FRIGHTFUL
WHEN I WAS AT SCHOOL I HATED IT AND I FAILED HISTORY O LEVEL BUT NOW YOU KNOW I
THINK ITS QUITE INTERESTING REALLY OH I ADORED HISTORY AND HATED GEOGRAPHY BUT
OH WE DIDNT DO GEOGRAPHY IT WAS THE SAME TEACHER FOR BOTH SO I THINK IT MUSTVE
BEEN SOMETHING TO DO WITH THE SUBJECT YES YES I MUST SAY ONE THING THAT I FOUND
HELPED ME WITH GEOGRAPHY A LOT WAS COLLECTING STAMPS YES YOU KNOW ONE VERY
QUICKLY GOT TO KNOW THE COUNTRIES OF THE WORLD AND WHERE THEY ARE AND WHO OWNED
THEM AND OF COURSE OTHER THINGS LIKE THE CAPITALS OF THE FOLLOWED QUITE SOON
FROM DID YOU WELL I THINK PERHAPS GEOGRAPHY AS IT WAS TAUGHT TO ME WAS
CONCERNED TOO MUCH WITH PHYSICAL CONDITIONS YES IT WOULD TEND TO BE ANYHOW
WOULDNT IT BUT I WAS MORE INTERESTED IN POLITICAL CONDITIONS YES I MUST SAY I
NEVER HAVE DONE GEOGRAPHY SO I DONT KNOW HOW ITS USUALLY TAUGHT WELL I DONT
KNOW PRODUCTS AND IMPORTS AND EXPORTS THAT SORT OF THING YES FLORA AND FAUNA
YES AND GEOLOGY COMES INTO IT SOMETIMES YES ANYTHING IMAGINE IT WOULD YES IT
DOES SURPRISE ME THOUGH HOW WHEN YOU KNOW PEOPLE WHORE QUITE EDUCATED SHOW
THEMSELVES TO BE REALLY VERY IGNORANT ABOUT THE QUESTION OF WHERE PARTICULAR
COUNTRIES ARE OR WHAT THE CAPITALS ARE I FEEL EVER SO SHOCKED AS IM CERTAIN
WELL WHAT DO YOU DO FOR A LIVING WHAT ARE YOU STUDYING WERE BOTH STUDYING
CHEMISTRY FIRST YEAR WE HOPE TO DO HONOURS BUT THATS WHAT EVERYBODY SAYS
WHAT DO YOU MEAN THAT THEY HOPE TO DO IT OR EVERYONE STARTS OFF WITH THE
INTENTION OF DOING HONOURS THEN THEY FACE REALITY AND END UP WITH AN ORDINARY
DEGREE WHICH ISNT MUCH USE REALLY ISNT IT ITLL NEED TO BE AN ORDINARY
DEGREE IN CHEMISTRY ANYWAY ISNT NO IF YOURE TEACHING ITS WHATS THAT BSC
YES BSC BUT THERE ARE ABOUT WHAT THREE SIXTY IN OUR CLASS THREE SIXTY
ABOUT THAT IN CHEMISTRY IN CHEMISTRY ONE OH NO THATS ORDINARY BSC AND HONOURS
CANDIDATES IS IT YES THATS ALL TOGETHER
HOW DO YOU MEAN THATS WHAT IN THE WHOLE FACULTY OR WHAT IN DOING CHEM ONE JUST
NOW THERES WHATS CHEMISTRY ONE IN THIS IN THE FIRST YEAR OR WHAT JUST THE FIRST
YEAR YES FORESTERS AND ENGINEERS AND THAT AND CHEMICAL TECHNOLOGISTS ARE
IN OUR CLASS JUST NOW ENGINEERS AS WELL ARE THERE ENGINEERS IN OUR CHEMISTRY
CLASS NO I DONT THINK SO EXACTLY NO NO SURELY NOT IS IT THE MATHS
DO THEY DO MATHS ITLL BE MATHS NOT ENGINEERS NOR FOR ARE YOU SURE FORESTRY
YES FORESTERS ARE DIFFERENT AND THE CHEMICAL TECHNOLOGISTS
AH BUT YES BUT NOT MINING TECHNOLOGISTS THE ENGINEERS THE ENGINEERS
AND MINERS DO WHATS CALLED CHEMISTRY FOR ENGINEERS OH WELL ITLL BE MATHS
THERES THERE ARE SOME THERE ARE DIFFERENT PEOPLE IN ALL OUR CLASSES
YOU KNOW HOW MANY PEOPLE ARE DOING ACTUALLY IN DOING FIRST YEAR CHEMISTRY NOW
AS CHEMISTS WELL ABOUT A HUNDRED AND EIGHTY ARE DOING IT AS A MAIN SUBJECT AND
THE REST ARE DOING ZOOLOGY OR SOMETHING ELSE I THINK THERE ARENT SO MANY
PEOPLE DID PHYSICS HIGHER NO WONDER I DONT BLAME THEM CHEMISTRY SEEMS TO BE
VERY POPULAR EVERYBODY DOES CHEMISTRY PERHAPS ITS WHILE YOURE AT SCHOOL
YOU THINK SO YOU THINK ITS GOING TO BE EASY SO YOU GO ALONG AND DO IT
YES THATS WHAT I THATS WHAT I DID WELL I I THOUGHT THE CRITERION WAS RATHER
DIFFERENT I THOUGHT IT WAS A CASE OF NOT KNOWING WHAT ELSE TO DO
I SUPPOSE THAT IS PART OF THE REASON TOO WELL IM SURE I FOUND THAT ADVANCED
SCHOLARSHIP WAS MUCH EASIER THAN ORDINARY LEVEL WELL YOU SEE WE BOTH COME FROM

SCOTLAND FUNNY YOU SHOULD SAY THAT I WOULD SAY THAT ADVANCED LEVEL CHEMISTRY
WAS THE MOST DIFFICULT EXAMINATION THAT I EVER HAD OR AM EVER LIKELY TO TAKE
DID YOU PASS IT DID I HELL NO NO BUT ID SAY BECAUSE IN THE CHEMISTRY O LEVEL
THERES MUCH MORE INORGANIC WHICH IS MORE MEMORY THAN ANYTHING ELSE
YES THATS DREADFUL STUFF ITS ALL RIGHT AT THE VERY BEGINNING I THOUGHT OH THIS
IS GREAT WELL I MEAN WHEN YOU GET ON TO THINGS LIKE NITROGEN COMPOUNDS AND
PHOSPHEROUS THEYRE PRETTY ALKYL HALIDES ARE JUST
AS BAD THATS THEYRE ORGANIC THEYRE INORGANIC OH THEYRE INORGANIC
OH ALKYL HALIDES ARE ORGANIC DIDNT PASS AT
CHEMISTRY I PASSED CHEMISTRY AT UNIVERSITY LAST YEAR WHAT DO YOU DO WHAT ARE
YOU DOING THEN NOTHING THATS THE ONLY THING I DID PASS YOU SEE WAS CHEMISTRY FOR
ENGINEERS THEN YOU COULD HAVE CHANGED YOUR COURSE COULDNT YOU WHAT TO
ARTS NO WHAT ARE YOU DOING JUST NOW THEN WHAT ARE YOU DOING THIS SURVEY FOR
A JOB A LIVING IM A COMPUTER PROGRAMMER OFFICIALLY WAS THIS AND WHAT DO YOU DO
WELL UNTIL THERES A PROGRAM TO BE WRITTEN I COLLECT DATA SO THAT WHEN A
PROGRAM IS WRITTEN WEVE GOT STUFF TO WORK ON WHY IS THIS PART OF THE PROGRAM
WELL THIS IS DATA IT DOESNT ANY I MEAN YOU CAN FORGET THE COMPUTER
ANY PROBLEM YOU HAVE TO TACKLE WHETHER ITS STATISTICAL CHEMICAL OR
A LINGUISTIC PROBLEM YOU CANT SOLVE ANY PROBLEM UNLESS YOUVE GOT DATA
I MEAN YOU CANT FIND THE PERCENTAGE OF NITROGEN IN AIR FOR EXAMPLE UNLESS
YOUVE GOT SOME SAMPLES OF AIR OR A SAMPLE OF AIR AND ALL THE WEIGHT OF THE
AIR FOR EXAMPLE IF YOURE TAKING LOTS OF SAMPLES THEY WOULD BE YOUR DATA
SO I MEAN FOR ANY COMPUTATION YOUVE GOT TO HAVE INFORMATION OBVIOUSLY
YES THATS HOW IN THIS THING THE AMOUNT THE PERCENTAGE OF DIFFERENT
WORDS WILL VARY AS THE TYPE OF CONVERSATION PERCENTAGE OF YES WELL
THATS WHY WE GET SUCH A LARGE RANGE OF CONVERSATION THAT EVERYTHINGS
INCLUDED IF YOU TAKE IF YOU HAVE TWO THOUSAND HOURS OF CONVERSATION THERES
BOUND TO BE A BIT OF EVERYTHING IN IT HOW MANY HAVE YOU DONE SO FAR
OH ABOUT ONE PERCENT OF TWO THOUSAND THAT WOULD BE TWO IN TWENTY HUNDRED YES
YES ONE PERCENT WELL IT SHOULD ONLY TAKE YOU TO ABOUT NEXT NOVEMBER OR SO HOW
LONG HAVE YOU BEEN AT IT SINCE THE BEGINNING OF DECEMBER OH I MEAN WE DONT
KNOW EXACTLY HOW MUCH WE WANT WE JUST KEEP ON COLLECTING THE STUFF IN FOR EVER
I SUPPOSE WHAT THE WHAT ARE YOU DOING IT FOR APART FROM YOUR UNIVERSITY ENGLISH
LANGUAGE DEPARTMENT SEE ITS ONE OF THE UNIVERSITY RESEARCH PROJECTS I SEE ITS
JUST TO DO WITH WORDS NOT ACCENTS AT ALL THATS IT JUST THE WORDS EXCEPT
OBVIOUSLY THAT AN IRISHMAN MAY HAVE FORM HIS SENTENCES MAY SAY THE SAME THING OR
MAY MEAN THE SAME THING AS A SCOTSMAN OR ENGLISHMAN AND SAY IT IN A DIFFERENT
WAY THE SCOTS FOR EXAMPLE SAY I DOUBT HES COMING WHEREAS THE ENGLISH SAY WHAT
IM VERY DOUBTFUL NO THEY DONT SAY THAT I DOUBT HES COMING MEANS I THINK HES
COMING DOES IT NOT OR I THINK HES NOT COMING I THINK HES COMING I THINK HES
COMING YOU SEE WELL IF YOU WANTED TO USE THE WORD DOUBT IN THAT SENSE YOUD
HAVE TO SAY I DOUBT HES NOT COMING BECAUSE I MEAN DOUBT IS A NEGATIVE WORD
IF YOU LIKE AND THATS WHY ITS USEFUL TO GET A BIG RANGE OF PEOPLE BECAUSE
IT CUTS EVERYTHING ITS ALSO LESS MONOTONOUS TO GET A CHANGE OF ACCENT
OCCASIONALLY IVE BEEN TRYING TO LAY MY HANDS ON A WELSHMAN BUT I CANT
I CAN GET YOU A CHAP FROM THE SHETLANDS WHO SOUNDS EXACTLY LIKE A WELSHMAN
YES THEY DO SOUND VERY LIKE WELSHMEN BECAUSE ACTUALLY HES DOING PHYSICS
AND HE SOUNDS WELL SOMEBODY ASKED HIM WHAT PART OF WALES HE CAME FROM
HE SAID I DONT COME FROM WALES I COME FROM THE SHETLANDS I THINK IT SOUNDS
TO BE THE SAME BLOKE PEOPLE AS I KNEW PARDON I SAY IT SOUNDS AS THOUGH THEY
WERE THE SAME PEOPLE AS I KNOW I ASKED THEM FIRST OF ALL IF THEY WERE WELSH
THEY WERE MOST INSULTED YEAH THIS IS THE SAME AS ASKING PEOPLE FROM THE ISLE
OF LEWIS WHAT PART OF IRELAND THEY COME FROM WHICH MUG DID YOU HAVE THE BLUE
OR THE YELLOW ONE I DONT WANT TO WASH THEM ALL YOUD DO AS WELL WITH TEA LEAVES
THE BLUE ONE YOURS IS THE ONE WITH THE LIPSTICK ON YOU HAD THE BLUE ONE
DID YOU I MEAN YOUR MUG YOU I DIDNT WANT TO I WAS A BIT AMBIGUOUS ACTUALLY
UNINTENTIONAL IT MUST BE QUITE INTERESTING FOR YOU FINDING PEOPLE TURNING UP
JUST UNEXPECTED ON YOUR DOORSTEP AND SAY WELL COME TO TALK FOR AN HOUR
HAVE YOU GOT LATE KEYS OR A LATE KEY OR THE LATE KEY OR WINDOWS TO CLIMB IN
WEVE GOT A WINDOW TO CLIMB IN HAVE WE OUR WINDOWS OPEN FOUR INCHES

THATLL BE THE DAY I CAN GET IN A FOUR INCH WINDOW BUT YOU ONLY KNOCK AND SORT
OF AH BUT WERE THE PEOPLE WHO ARE KNOCKED UP ALWAYS BECAUSE WE SHARE A
ROOM AND THERE ARE STEPS DOWN TO THE WINDOW WHAT YOU LIVE IN A HOSTEL YES IN A
HOSTEL AND WERE ALWAYS KNOCKED UP RIGHT UP TILL ABOUT FOUR OCLOCK IN THE MORNING
SO OH WELL THE DOOR CLOSES AT QUARTER PAST ELEVEN IS IT THROUGH THE WEEK
YES ITS ALL RIGHT ONE DOESNT WORRY ABOUT THESE THINGS I TRUST YOU ALL LIKE
COFFEE AND ALL THAT JAZZ YES THANK YOU YES THANK
YOU DO YOU WANT YOURS BLACK IT DOESNT MATTER OH THINGS ARE LOOKING UP PARDON
ILL HAVE BLACK IF POSSIBLE OR IS THAT WHAT WERE GETTING ANYWAY OH ITS
MUCH MORE DIFFICULT TO MAKE BLACK
ESPECIALLY WITH NESCAFE RIGHT BLACK THATS THREE WHITES AND ONE BLACK
I LIKE THE INTERIOR DECORATIONS DO YOU THEYRE UNUSUAL TO SAY THE LEAST
OF IT WELL THEYRE WHAT ONE MIGHT CALL REALLY INTERIOR I MEAN TO THE
EXTENT THAT YOU REALLY HAVE TO GO INSIDE PLACES TO FIND THEM THATS JUST NOT
NICE JUST LIKE OUR YES SMUGGLE THEM OUT IVE GOT THINGS FROM THE MENS UNION
STUCK UP ALL ROUND MY WALL A BLOOD
TRANSFUSION THING AND WE COLLECT MOMENTOES I WENT TO ONE FLAT THE OTHER DAY
AND SAW A SIGN WHICH SAID POST MORTEM EXAMINATION WILL BE HELD ON MONDAY NEXT
IT IS RATHER MORBID SORT OF WE WENT ROUND ONE NIGHT ABOUT TWO OCLOCK IN THE
MORNING COLLECTING THE RED BITS OUT OF BUS STOPS AND CLIMBING UP THEM AND
GETTING THEM LIKE THAT THATS DREADFULLY DESTRUCTIVE OH WELL THEYLL REPLACE
THEM IN ABOUT A WEEK AND WHAT DID YOU DO WITH THEM AND HOW MUCH MONEY WILL IT
COST THE CORPORATION OH I DONT KNOW ABOUT TWO AND SIX EACH PROBABLY
PLUS MAN HOURS WHAT DID YOU DO WITH THEM OH I DIDNT GET ANY I JUST GAVE THEM TO
SOMEBODY ELSE OH THAT WAS DREADFULLY GENEROUS OF YOU THANK YOU VERY MUCH
OH I CAN BE VERY GENEROUS WITH OTHER PEOPLES THINGS NOW WE THEN WE WOULDNT
KNOW WHICH WERE FARE STAGES AND WHICH WERENT AND THAT WASNT FAIR NO BUT YOU SEE
ALL IT IS IS EDINBURGH CORPORATION ON THE TOP YOU SEE WHEREABOUTS YOU KNOW WHEN
YOUVE GOT A BUS STOP AND YOUVE GOT A THING SHAPED LIKE THIS ON THE TOP
WELL THE FARE STAGE THING IS FIXED ON THE BOTTOM
NO ITS PLACED ON THE VERY TOP IT IS NO ITS PLACED ON THE BOTTOM
ITS PLACED ON THE BOTTOM IS IT OH IVE NEVER NOTICED WELL WE TAKE THE RED PART
OUT OF THE TOP WHICH IS JUST EDINBURGH CORPORATION TRANSPORT ALL I CAN SAY IS
YOU DAMN THIEF QUITE TWO OH BOY THATS GONE ON TAPE NOW THREE YES SURE THERE
WASNT ANY ROOM FOR MILK I THINK THIS WAS THE POINT BECAUSE OF THE SUGAR
YOU CAN TAKE IT DISPLACEMENT AND ALL THAT HERE HAVE SOME EASILY EILEEN*
YOU CAN TAKE IT EASILY WITH ONLY A LITTLE SUGAR BECAUSE YOU HAD
TO SWALLOW IT OUT A KB TODAY OH YES ITS VERY UNFAIR BECAUSE
IT LADLE ON A SPOONFUL OF SUGAR AND EXPECT ME TO DRINK IT YES I KNOW I HATE KB
SO DO I A MOST UNSOCIABLE PLACE ISNT IT IT IS UNLESS YOU KNOW SOMEONE
I FIND THAT YOU KNOW JUST GOING INTO THE PLACE DOWNSTAIRS YOU KNOW
THE DINING HALL ALL THESE SCIENTISTS ARE TALKING ABOUT SCIENCE YOU
WOULDNT CATCH ME TALKING THERE IM USING THAT EXPRESSION THATS THE TROUBLE
WITH SCIENTISTS YOU SEE THEYVE NOTHING ELSE TO TALK ABOUT THIS IS NOTHING
PERSONAL OR ANYTHING LIKE THIS BUT THATS THE IMPRESSION THAT I GET THAT MOST
OF THEM ARE TALKING ABOUT SCIENCE WELL I MUST ADMIT I DONT HEAR MEDICS
TALKING ABOUT MEDICINE VERY OFTEN WELL WE DONT KNOW ANYTHING SO FAR THAT
COULD BE ONE REASON GOODNESS BETWEEN AFTER YOUR LAB IN THE MORNING IS IT UP TILL
HALF PAST ELEVEN

YOUVE BEEN THINKING ABOUT IVE SEEN THAT DONE AND ITS QUITE FANTASTIC
WELL PROBABLY BECAUSE EVERYBODY ELSES BEEN THINKING ABOUT IT TOO YES WELL I
MEAN HOW DOES THAT WORK WELL IF YOUVE GOT ENOUGH PEOPLE THINKING ABOUT THE SAME
PERSON THEN ITS A PRETTY GOOD CHANCE THAT YOURE GOING TO HIT THE RIGHT PERSON
ANYWAY WHEN YOU COME HERE IF YOUVE GOT A HUNDRED PEOPLE IN A ROOM AND NINETY
NINE PEOPLE ARE THINKING ABOUT THE SAME THING YOUVE GOT A PRETTY GOOD CHANCE OF
HITTING ONE OF THOSE NINETY NINE AND GETTING A OH I WAS THINKING ABOUT THAT
THING
TOO YOU SEE I ONCE SAW A IVE SEEN TWO OR THREE OF THOSE ACTUALLY
PEOPLE BEING HYPNOTISED THIS WAS HYPNOTISED FROM A MEDICAL POINT OF VIEW NOT

JUST A STAGE STUNT I IVE TRIED IT MYSELF ACTUALLY AND ITS QUITE EASY TO DO
BUT IT ITS A BIT WORRYING YOU KNOW YOU MAY NOT BE ABLE TO WAKE THE PEOPLE UP
THIS SORT OF THING AND THIS GUY HAD THE FELLOW IN A REAL DEEP TRANCE AND HOW HE
DID IT WAS JUST TO JUST GET THE FELLOW TO LIE DOWN IN A ROOM TO RELAX AND THE
FELLOW LAY THERE RELAXING AND THEN WE WENT IN THE CHAP WAS SPREAD OUT ON THIS
BED AND THERE WAS NO LIGHT IN THE ROOM AND HE HELD A TORCH JUST ABOVE HIS
EYES HERE YOU SEE AND THE FELLOW LOOKED AT THE TORCH AND HIS MIND AND HIS EYES
WERE CONCENTRATED ON THIS ON THIS TORCH UP HERE STILL ON SEANCES I KNOW AND HIS
EYES WERE GET OFF AND HIS EYES WERE HELD ON THIS TORCH YOU SEE AND GRADUALLY
THIS FELLOW SENT HIM DEEPER AND DEEPER TO SLEEP BY THINGS WHICH SOUNDED RATHER
RIDICULOUS BUT THINGS LIKE NOW IMAGINE YOURE IN A GREEN FIELD AND THE GRASS IS
WAFTING IN THE BREEZE AND THE BIRDS ARE FLYING BY IN THE SKY ABOVE AND THERES
A TWINKLING STREAM AND ALL THAT SORT OF THING WHICH ARE MEANT TO INSPIRE A SORT
OF FEELING OF SERENITY IN THE IN THE PERSONS MIND AND BY SPEAKING IN THIS
MONOTONE THE CHAP JUST GOT MORE AND MORE TIRED AND FINALLY HIS YOU KNOW THE
TEARS WERE RUNNING DOWN THE SIDE OF HIS FACE YOU KNOW AS HE WAS LOOKING BACK
AT THIS TORCH WHICH WAS HELD JUST JUST OUT OF FIELD OF VIEW TEARS RUNNING DOWN
THE SIDE OF HIS FACE AND THEN HE WOULD SORT OF GO TO SLEEP IN RATHER THE THE
SAME WAY AS YOU SEE IT DONE ON TELEVISION SOMETIMES WHERE THE CHAP SAYS ILL
COUNT THREE AND THEN YOUR EYES WILL CLOSE AND ILL COUNT ANOTHER THREE AND YOUR
LEGS BEGIN TO FEEL HEAVY AND BY THE TIME I GET TO NINE YOUR BODY WILL BE TIRED
AND WHEN I COUNT TEN YOULL BE FAST ASLEEP AND HE COUNTED ONE TWO THREE FOUR
FIVE SIX SEVEN EIGHT NINE TEN AND ON THE TENTH ONE HIS EYES CLOSED AND HIS
BREATHING CHANGED FROM A PRETTY NONDESCRIPT SORT OF SILENT BREATH WHICH YOU
HAVE NORMALLY DURING THE DAY TIME TO A DEEP THUNDEROUS SNORE JUST SUDDENLY
CHANGED THEN WHAT DID HE DO AND THEN HE WAS TOLD THAT THAT EVEYTHING WAS GOING
TO BE OK IT WAS BECAUSE HE WAS WORRYING ABOUT BUSINESS AND BEING AN OPTICIAN
IT WAS AFFECTING HIS EYES YOU SEE YES AND HE HAD TO BE CONVINCED THAT
EVERYTHING WAS GOING TO BE OK LIFE WASNT AS BAD AS ALL THAT AND THEN FINALLY
TO WAKE THE FELLOW UP IT WAS VERY SIMPLE THE CHAP WAS ACTUALLY LISTENING
SUBCONSCIOUSLY AND HE SAID AHH I SHALL COUNT TEN AND SNAP MY FINGERS AND YOU
YOULL WAKE UP AND HE WENT ONE TWO THREE GETTING LIGHTER GETTING LIGHTER FOUR
FIVE YOURE BEGINNING TO WAKE UP SIX SEVEN YOURE ALMOST AWAKE EIGHT NINE TEN
THE GUY SORT OF WOKE UP AND RUBBED HIS EYES A BIT AND HE WAS AWAKE
WELL EXCEPT THAT OFTEN THEY THEYVE ALREADY HYPNOTISED THE THEYVE GOT SUBJECT YOU
SEE THEYVE GOT PEOPLE WHO ARE PRETTY GOOD SUBJECTS PROBABLY WHAT THEY DONT JUST
PICK ANYBODY OUT DO THEY NO NO WHAT WHAT HAPPENS
YOU SEE IS IF HYPNOTIST A IS IN THE HABIT OF HYPNOTISING B IF HES HYPNOTISED
B ONCE HE CAN GIVE B A POST HYPNOTIC SUGGESTION THAT WHEN HE SAYS RHUBARB
YES B WILL GO INTO A TRANCE SO ON TELEVISION THE CHAP WILL SAY BEFORE THE
AUDIENCE WELL IM JUST GOING TO MENTION THE NAME OF A COMMON EVERYDAY FRUIT
AND BILLY* HERE WILL BE IN A TRANCE AND THEN HE JUST SAYS SORT OF RHUBARB AND
EVERYBODY PERHAPS ROARS WITH LAUGHTER AND BILLYS* ASLEEP YES OH I SEE ITS AS
SIMPLE AS THAT THE POST HYPNOTIC SUGGESTION IS SOMETHING YOU CAN ALSO HYPNOTISE
YOURSELF YOU KNOW IF YOU TRAIN YOURSELF TO DO IT DYOU DYOU MEAN YOU ACTUALLY
HYPNOTISE YOURSELF YES OR MAKE YOURSELF DO SOMETHING WHICH WITH A MIRROR
NO PARTICULARLY WITH A TAPE RECORDER ITS QUITE EASY TO HYPNOTISE YOURSELF YOU
WHAT YOU DO YOU SEND YOURSELF TO SLEEP FOR TEN MINUTES SAY IF YOU FEEL IF
AFTER LUNCH YOU YOU FIND THAT YOU GET INDIGESTION AND YOU WANT TO GO TO SLEEP
AND YOU CANT YOU YOU CAN HYPNOTISE YOURSELF AND SEND YOURSELF TO SLEEP FOR TEN
MINUTES WELL HAVE YOU ACTUALLY EVER BEEN HYPNOTISED BY ANYONE ELSE NO NO I
HAVENT BECAUSE SOMEONE OH I KNOW SOME FRIENDS OF OURS THERES ONE WOMAN IN THEIR
DIGS WHO CAN HYPNOTISE PEOPLE YES AND ITS THEYVE GONE OFF THEYVE ALL GONE OFF
AT THE SAME STAGE BUT WHEN THEYVE WOKEN UP THEYVE BEEN TERRIBLY TIRED
IS THIS THE NORMAL THING NO OR IS IT JUST THAT THEYVE BEEN BADLY HYPNOTISED OR
SOMETHING WELL THIS GUY I SAW HYPNOTISED WELL DONE TWO OR THREE DONE TWO OR
THREE TIMES AND HE HAD TO BE LEFT FOR ABOUT TEN MINUTES BEFORE HE WAS ALLOWED
TO GET UP EVEN THOUGH HE WAS AWAKE YOU KNOW IT WAS AS WELL NOT TO CHUCK HIM OFF
HIS BED AND GET HIM RUNNING AROUND AGAIN WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THIS FRANCINE*
YOUVE LOOKED INTO THIS MATTER HAVE YOU NOT IM NOT A GOOD SUBJECT YOUVE BEEN DONE

HAVE YOU COULDNT GET ME UNDER YOU TRIED IT REALLY WELL IVE TRIED ONE OF TOMS*
COLLEAGUES TRIED TO HYPNOTISE ME BUT HE WAS UNSUCCESSFUL ITS NOT ENOUGH
CONCENTRATION OR SOMETHING ISNT IT DYOU HAVE TO BE ABLE TO CONCENTRATE
ALTHOUGH SOME HYPNOTISTS CAN HYPNOTISE PEOPLE WHO ARE NOT PREPARED TO BE
HYPNOTISED BUT THERE IS ONE POINT APPARENTLY IF YOURE NOT A GOOD SUBJECT
AND THE CHAPS HYPNOTISING YOU AND SAY YOUR EYES CLOSE AND YOU FEEL THAT YOU
LIKE YOUR EYES CLOSED HES GOT YOU TO THAT STAGE HE CAN SUGGEST TO YOU THAT NEXT
TIME YOULL FIND IT EASIER TO GO TO SLEEP WHEN HE TELLS YOU TO YES AND AND
THAT SUGGESTION WILL BE ACCEPTED TO A CERTAIN EXTENT AND IT WILL BE SLIGHTLY
EASIER THE NEXT TIME THE POST HYPNOTIC SUGGESTIONS A VERY
VALUABLE TOOL DYOU THINK A SLEEPY PERSON IS ONE THAT COULD NO IT DOESNT FOLLOW
AT ALL THERES NO NO SORT OF NO THERE MUST BE THE ABILITY TO CONCENTRATE
THATS THE MOST IMPORTANT WELL I WAS PERFECTLY ABLE TO CONCENTRATE ITS NO
BUT YOU MIGHT NOT SUBCONSCIOUSLY HAVE BEEN REALLY WILLING TO GO UNDER YOU KNOW
TO REALLY OH I REMEMBER EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENED HED BEEN I WAS SITTING IN THE
CORNER THERE AND HED BEEN TRYING FOR TWENTY MINUTES AND WHAT SORT OF THINGS WAS
HE SAYING TO YOU OH JUST THE NORMAL YOU KNOW AND ALL THIS SORT OF BUMBLING STUFF
ABOUT NO NO RELAXATION AND THIS SORT OF THING YES RELAX AND YOULL FEEL
YOURSELF WANTING TO GO TO SLEEP AND SO ON AND SO ON BUT SOME SOME PEOPLE THIS
THIS CHAP WHO TRIED TO HYPNOTISE ME WAS HAD BEEN HYPNOTISING PREGNANT WOMEN AND
DELIVERING BABIES UNDER HYPNOSIS BIT DIFFICULT FOR YOU I IMAGINE WELL YES HE
COULDNT DELIVER MY BABY GOING SHES GOT TO GO YOUVE GOT TO GO I SEE ARE YOU GOING
ALONE OR WHATS HAPPENING WELL ARE YOU STAYING JOAN* WELL I DONT KNOW YOU SEE SHE
WAS MEANT IVE IVE GOT TO BE UP AT PRESTON* STREET BY HALF PAST EIGHT YOU SEE
WHAT TIME IS IT NOW ITS QUARTER PAST
QUARTER PAST YOURE GOING OFF FOR A BOOZE ARE YOU JOAN* YES JUST CONTINUING
JUST A WEE JUST A WEE HOSTELRY OCH AYE WILL YOU STAY ON FOR A WHILE TOM*
YOURE YOURE STICKING AROUND ARE YOU YES FOR THE MOMENT WELL IF ANYONE ELSE IS
STAYING YOU CAN STAY IF YOU WANT THOUGH I DONT THINK YOU WELL ONLY IF YOU DONT
MIND ME GOING NO THATS DYOU LIVE HERE FRANCINE* OR ARE ACTUALLY BILL* BILL* IF
YOU DO ME A FAVOUR WOULD YOU GIVE THE SOFA GET BACK A WEE BIT WHERE DO YOU LIVE
BECAUSE IM ABSOLUTELY CURIOUS TO SEE THIS IS YOUR TUTOR IS IT THERES QUITE A
DEVONIAN CONTINGENT UP HERE AT THE MOMENT AH YES ITS RATHER AN OLD AGE SORT OF
TYPE NOW ISNT IT WHY WHY DO THEY COME ALL THIS WAY WHY DO THEY COME ALL THIS
WAY WELL SOME PEOPLE APPLY FOR THIS UNIVERSITY FIRST OF ALL OTHERS APPLY I I
APPLIED TO THIS UNIVERSITY AS MY FIRST CHOICE BUT OTHERS APPLY HERE BECAUSE
THEY CANT GET IN ANYWHERE ELSE STILL ITS FUNNY ISNT IT IT ISNT FUNNY ITS
BECAUSE ITS A SCOTTISH UNIVERSITY AND YOUVE ONLY GOT A CHANCE THERES A CHANCE OF
ONE IN FIVE OR FOUR FOUR THAT YOU WILL COME TO EDINBURGH AND SINCE EDINBURGH
IS EDINBURGH AND GLASGOW ARE THE NEAREST I MEAN NO ENGLISH STUDENT IN HIS SENSES
WOULD THINK OF GOING TO ABERDEEN SOME DO
SOME DO BUT I MEAN OBVIOUSLY THE MAJORITY OF ENGLISH PEOPLE WILL BE CONCENTRATED
IN THE TWO SOUTHERN UNIVERSITIES RATHER INDECENT THAT ITS ALL ON TAPE
YOU ALWAYS PUT YOU FOOT IN IT YOURE NOT TAPING NOW ARE YOU YES I THINK YOUD
BETTER ERASE THAT BIT THOUGHT YOU WERE REWINDING ARENT YOU NO IM TAPING THERES
NO THERES NO POINT IN TRYING TO DO IT SECRET BECAUSE HALF
THE PEOPLE KNOW I I DONT MIND IF MY TROUSERS IS THAT WHAT YOU CALL THEM DONT
YOU THINK YOU FLATTER THEM RATHER NO I I PAID THIRTEEN AND ELEVEN FOR THESE
AND THEYRE NO COMMENT THEYRE TROUSERS THEYRE DEVONIAN TROUSERS ARE THEY NO
WHERE DID YOU GET THAT BLOUSE IT ISNT A BLOUSE WOMAN ITS WHAT IS IT THIS IS A
WHITE RUSSIAN PRINCE PRINCES SHIRT OH WELL IT LOOKS JUST LIKE A BLOUSE ITS A
SHIRT WHAT WHAT SORT OF WHAT SORT OF SHIRTS DO COLOURED RUSSIANS WEAR AND AND
ITS GOT PRETTY EMBROIDERY ALL THE WAY ROUND
THE BOTTOM OH I SAY ACTUALLY ITS VERY BEAUTIFUL I THOUGHT IT WAS THATS WHY I
WEAR IT BESIDES IT KEEPS YOUR NECK WARM WITHOUT HAVING TO WEAR A TIE THATS THE
MAIN REASON FOR IT IF YOU WANT TO PRETEND YOURE A RUSSIAN PRINCE IT SHOULD BE
ALL RIGHT WELL I DONT FEEL LIKE A RUSSIAN PRINCE PARTICULARLY NO TELL ME DYOU
THINK IT LOOKS LIKE A BLOUSE YES I DO QUITE FRANKLY YOU DO DO YOU WHEN I I DONT
MIND I THOUGHT HE WAS DRESSED UP FOR A PLAY OR SOMETHING I WAS IN DRAM SOC WHEN
I CAME HERE ASSOCIATED WITH THATS ALL YOU KNOW THE CHAP JOHN* WOOD* NO HES GOT

SOMETHING TO DO WITH DRAM SOC DO YOU KNOW QUITE A LOT OF PEOPLE IN DRAM SOC
BECAUSE TWO OF THE GIRLS IN OUR FLAT ARE MAD DRAM SOC TYPES SO THEY MORAG*
STEWART* SHEILA* COOMBE* YOU DONT KNOW WHERE DYOU LIVE MY FLAT OFF FROGSTONE*
ROAD WHERES THAT MILES AWAY WHEREABOUTS YOU KNOW WHERE POLWARTH* IS POLWARTH*
JUST JUST BEYOND POLWARTH* GOOD GOD WHERES THAT CRAIGLOCKHART*
PLAYING FIELDS YES NEAR IT THATS RIGHT BEYOND ISNT IT NO NO ITS NOT AS FAR OUT
AS THAT ITS NOT OH ITS NEAR CRAIGLOCKHART* ANYWAY IS IT WELL NOT QUITE THATS
NOT FAR YOU JUST GO UP BY WAY FROM GRANGE* ROAD IN FACT OH ITS ALL ITS ALL RIGHT
AS LONG AS YOU CAN GET TO TOLLCROSS* AND ITS NOT FAR FROM THERE AN AWFUL
NUISANCE IN THE MORNING THOUGH YOU KNOW BECAUSE OF THESE TERRIFIC JAMS HALF HALF
A MILE LONG I STARTED WALKING ABOUT TEN PAST SEVEN THOUGHT ID BE THERE IN A
MINUTE AND MUCH LONGER ITS DIFFICULT TO EXPLAIN TO PEOPLE WHERE TO GET OFF ON
THE BUS HERE SORT OF DOWN THERE TOWARDS KB
MAYFIELD* CHURCH THATS WHAT WE ASKED FOR THAT WHAT ITS CALLED MAYFIELD* CHURCH
WELL ITS WHAT THE BUS CONDUCTOR SAID OH WELL THATS FINE HE SHOULD KNOW WELL TELL
PEOPLE TO GET OFF AT MAYFIELD* CHURCH FROM NOW ON IF THEY DONT TELL THEM WHERE
TO GET OFF BEFORE ISNT WHATS HIS NAME BOB* WILSON* PRESIDENT OR SECRETARY OF
THE RYTHM CLUB YES SECRETARY YEAH THATS RIGHT QUITE AN EFFICIENT ONE AS WELL
IS HE VERY I WOULD SAY WHAT A JOB DOES IT TAKE UP A LOT OF HIS TIME
NOT A LOT BUT I THINK HE DID A GREAT JOB OF WORK WHEN TUBBY* HAYES* CAME HERE
OH YES IT WAS VERY WELL ADVERTISED WELL I MEAN THE THE PRINCIPLE OF THE THING
WAS SORT OF ADMIRABLE ITS QUITE A BIG THING TO TAKE BECAUSE IT COST A LOT OF
MONEY YOU KNOW IT WAS A RISK AND IT PAID OFF I DIDNT REALISE THAT YOU TWO
LIVED SO CLOSE ACTUALLY THAT YOU AND BOB* OH BOB* AND I YES WELL I DIDNT
REALISE TILL JUST NOW OH DAMN IT IM ALWAYS SPILLING THESE I HAVENT GOT THEM IN
MY MOUTH AS YET SURE IT HAS SOME PSYCHOLOGICAL SIGNIFICANCE YOU KNOW LATENT
BABYHOOD OR SOMETHING WELL HOWS THE WORK GOING FRANCINE* WELL QUARTER OF A PAGE
JUST PUT JUST PUT THAT FINAL YEAR MEDICS DONT KNOW HOW TO DO IT AND THAT THAT
RESEARCH ASSISTANTS DONT KNOW HOW TO DO IT SO NO ONE KNOWS AND NOR NOR DO
QUALIFIED TUTORS QUALIFIED TUTORS DONT KNOW HOW WHAT ABOUT SECOND YEAR ARTS
STUDENT SECOND YEAR ARTS STUDENTS CANT DO IT
SO NO ONE WELL HOW THE HELL CAN A RADIOGRAPHY STUDENT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW
DYOU MEAN TO SAY THEY REALLY WILL THROW YOU OUT IF YOU DONT PASS TOMORROW OH
THEY WELL IF I DONT PASS THEY WILL OH YOU YOULL TAKE ONE SERIOUSLY LOOK OH
THEY WILL NOT AT THEM THEN YOULL SORT OF TWINKLE YOUR EYES AND YOULL SMILE AND
SHELL BE BACK IN
SEND ME TO A PSYCHIATRIST ANYWAY WHY BECAUSE I WANTED TO GIVE UP RADIOGRAPHY
HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN OH IVE IVE BEEN UP IN EDINBURGH SINCE FEBRUARY I WAS
WORKING AT THE HOSPITAL ARE YOU IN THE SAME YEAR AS CHRISTINE* OR NOT NO SHES
QUALIFIED NOW ISNT SHE OH SHE IS YES THATS RIGHT I THINK SHE RUNS A MINI CAR OR
MINI VAN OR SOMETHING HI HELLO YOU CAN HELP ME WHATS THIS YOU CAN HELP ME HEY I
HEAR YOURE FROM DAWLISH I LIVE AT EXETER OH SO WERE FRIENDS OH MUST YOU HOW
LONG HOW LONG YOU BEEN THERE IVE LIVED THERE FOR YEARS WELL AT LEAST SIX SEVEN
SIX IVE BEEN LIVING IN DAWLISH ABOUT THREE GOOD HEAVENS OH MUST LOOK YOU UP
THEN YEAH COME AND SEE ME SOME TIME LOVELY IF IM THERE ILL BE THERE IN THE
SUMMER I THINK WERE YOU THERE THIS TIME TWO WEEKS AT HOME YES THAT YOU DIDNT
BUMP INTO ONE ANOTHER BIG PLACE SURREY BIG PLACE OH I WOULDNT HAVE RECOGNISED
YOU I DONT THINK IF ID SEEN YOU WOULDNT YOU NO I WOULD WERE YOU IN HOLLAND*
HOUSE NO I WAS IN SALISBURY* GREEN GOT ME OUT OF BED ONE NIGHT OH WELL THATS
IT JONES* OH TOM* JONES* YES OH YES OH I KNOW THATS RIGHT YOU CAME TO SEE ME
ABOUT THE HAND BOOK THE HAND BOOK HASNT EVEN GOT THE RYTHM CLUB IN YET WEVE
GOT TO BE AN AFFILIATED SOCIETY YOU KNOW ARE YOU YES WEVE GOT TO BE WEVE GOT
THIS COMMUNIST SECRETARY OF THE SRC WHOS THAT HES REALLY AN ARDENT SOCIALIST
ISNT HE IS HE IS HE TRYING TO NATIONALISE ALL THE SOCIETIES WELL HES HES
DOING A GOOD JOB I SUPPOSE HES HES PRETTY EFFICIENT ANYWAY A BIT MORE
EFFICIENT THAN ONE OF THE MOST FLOURISHING SOCIETIES SHOULD HAVE SURVIVED FOR
FIVE YEARS WITHOUT BEING AFFILIATED AND WE RENT OUT THE SR STUDENT HALL EVERY
WEEK YEAH BUT WELL THE POINT IS THAT ITS ADVANTAGE TO YOU TO BE AFFILIATED
BECAUSE YOU GET TEN POUNDS A YEAR WHAT YOU WANT TO TRY THOUGH IS PUTTING IN
FOR THE LAST FIVE YEARS TEN QUIDS WE CANT FIDDLE THE BOOKS THOUGH DYOU FIDDLE

THE BOOKS AT THE MOMENT NO WE DONT WERE VERY HONEST BUT I DONT KNOW HOW AN
AUDITOR WOULD TAKE TO A LINE WHICH SAID THIRTY POUNDS EXPENSES RYTHM CLUB
INCURRED OVER NO NO EXPENSES FOR THE PARTY BECAUSE
WE WE SPEND A LOT OF MONEY ON THE PARTY YOU SEE WHICH TO WHICH ONLY MUSICIANS
ARE INVITED THE MUSICIANS WHO TAKE PART IN THE RUNNING
OF THE RYTHM CLUB ARE ALL INVITED TO THE RYTHM CLUB RAVE YOU SEE AND THEY THEY
COME ALL FREE I THINK ITS FAIR ENOUGH THAT ACTUALLY WHAT ABOUT THE COMMON OR
GARDEN MEMBERS ARE THEY MEMBERS TOO ARE THEY ALLOWED TO COME TO THE PARTY AS
WELL OR NOT NO NOT UNLESS THEYVE HELPED WITH THE RUNNING OF THE CLUB YOU KNOW
LIKE HELPED WITH THE DOOR OR ACTUALLY PLAYED OR DYOU PLAY ME YEAH WHAT DO YOU
PLAY GUITAR DO YOU YOURE NOT LOOKING FOR A BAD TRUMPETER ARE YOU
OH THERES PLENTY OF BAD TRUMPETERS
I KNOW PLENTY YOURE TAKING IT UP ARE YOU WELL IVE BEEN TRYING TO TEACH
MYSELF FOR A BIT YEAH I THOUGHT I WAS A SAX PLAYER WHEN YOU WERE THERE LAST
THATS IT YOU SOLD IT FOR TWELVE TEN YEAH THATS RIGHT BOUGHT IT FOR SIXPENCE
TWENTY FIVE BOB FOR IT AND I THOUGHT IT WAS QUITE A GOOD ONE I THOUGHT YOU
GOT IT VERY CHEAP FOR TWENTY FIVE BUT I DIDNT THINK YOU COULD GET TWELVE
FOR IT WAS THAT IN GREECE YEAH THATS RIGHT HOW DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THAT
I DONT KNOW GRAPEVINE YOU KNOW ITS GOT VERY LONG TENDRILS JOHN* MORRIS*
WAS PRETTY FED UP WITH THAT HE WAS BECAUSE I YOU KNOW I BOUGHT IT FROM HIM FOR
TWENTY FIVE BOB THEN FLOGGED IT FOR THAT WHOD YOU BUY THE TRUMPET OFF I GOT
THE TRUMPET AT A SHOP OH ITS ITS QUITE A GOOD ONE REALLY
IT COST THIRTY QUID NEW AND I GOT IT FOR TEN WHAT MAKE ITS BOOSEY AND HAWK
OH NOTHING TO DO WITH SPLASHING HIMSELF AGAIN NOW WHATS THIS THING HEY BOB* WERE
YOU SNOWED UP IN DAWLISH AT ALL OR WHAT NOT REALLY YOU COULDNT GET UP
THE HILL TO OUR HOUSE BECAUSE ITS ABOUT ONE IN FOUR YOU KNOW WHAT DID YOU DO
LIVE IN THE RAILWAY STATION OR SOMETHING NO WE LIVE ON A TERRACE A SET OF
TERRACES YOU KNOW THEY USED TO GET AN RAF HELICOPTER TO TAKE HIM IN AND OUT
WE JUST STAYED INDOORS THATS ALL WELL ITS THE CAR THE CAR WONT GO BUT YOU
COULD GO DOWN BY FOOT IF YOU WERE MAD ENOUGH JUST STAYED IN YOU SHOULD TELL
THEM ABOUT YOUR GREAT PROSPECTIVE RUN TO THE WEST OF SCOTLAND OH YES WELL I
COULDNT GET THE RAF TO COOPERATE WHAT WAS THAT OH I WAS GOING ON A TOUR
OF THE NORTH WEST OF SCOTLAND WHAT IN OR WHAT WITH MY CAR DYOU HAVE TAPERS
ANYWHERE YES THEYRE BEHIND THERE TA WHAT ARE THE WORDS WHAT WHAT DO YOU CALL
THEM WHATS THE PROPER WORD FOR THOSE THINGS SPILLS SPILLS FRANCINE* WHAT
IS YOUR SKIRT MADE OF IVE BEEN LOOKING AT IT AND TRYING TO DECIDE LOOKS MORE
LIKE AN UNDERSKIRT TO ME DO IT DOESNT ITS QUITE WARM AND IT DOES FOR WORK
DYOU HAVE TO WEAR BLACK
THINGS FOR NO BUT THEY GET MESSED UP WITH FIXTURE AND DEVELOPER AND STUFF
IS IT IS IT SUBJECT TO X RAY PHOTOGRAPHY I MEAN RADIATION PROOF
LEAD SKIRT I TOO WEAR LEAD UNDER WEAR LEAD UNDERPANTS MUST BE A BIT
DIFFICULT WHEN YOU GET TO I WOULD THINK JOAN* THOMPSON* JOAN* THOMPSON* JOAN*
OH HOW DO YOU DO BOB* HAVE YOU NOT MET NO IM SORRY ITS ALL RIGHT OF COURSE
I DIDNT REALISE YOU WERENT HERE WHEN WE STARTED HAVE YOU SIGNED THAT THING
YEAH YEAH I WAS IN THE MIDDLE OF PUTTING A CORNY COMMENT THEN I THOUGHT WHAT
IT WAS WELL WHATS THAT MEAN NOTHING I MUST GET ON WITH YOUR WORK WELL CAN
YOU HELP ME YES ALL RIGHT HAS BILL* LET YOU DOWN WELL I THINK HE GOT BORED
OH I TRIED DIDNT I IS IT BEYOND YOUR JUST ABOUT YES FACULTIES WELL ITS
MOST LIKELY TO BE BEYOND MINE BUT SOMEONES GOT TO BE ABLE TO DO IT
FACULTIES IS THE WRONG WORD IM NOT A PHYSICAL SCIENTISTS IM ONLY A ONE WELL
IM AFRAID IM NOT A PHYSICAL SCIENTIST EITHER IM NOT A SCIENTIST
WELL YOU AT LEAST STARTED OFF IF YOU COULD JUST SOLVE THAT PROBLEM
BILL* WHATS YOUR MURKY PAST I MEAN WHY ARENT YOU AT UNIVERSITY
ARENT YOU AT UNIVERSITY THEN WELL ARE YOU HE IS ISNT HE HES GOING TO AUSTRIA
KNOW DAVID* MARTIN* THE MEDIC YES THATS THE GUY OH YOURE GOING WITH THE THIRD
YEAR MEDICS CROWD NO ACTUALLY IM GOING WITH SOME FOURTH YEAR VETS
ITS JUST SORT OF MORE GOING TOGETHER AND ITS CHEAPER OH THAT SHOULD BE QUITE
GOOD ONE OF THE GIRLS IN MY FLAT HAS A BOYFRIEND IN FOURTH YEAR VET YEAH
THEYRE ALL QUITE A NICE CROWD THIRTY SIX POUNDS AT LEAST ITS SUPPOSED
TO BE DONT THINK IT WILL BE WELL ITLL BE THIRTY SIX QUID AND ADD TWENTY QUID

ON TOP THATS THE TROUBLE DYOU THINK IT REALLY WILL BE AS MUCH AS THAT YEAH
ITLL BE AS MUCH AS THAT HELP I DONT KNOW WHERE IM GOING TO GET THE MONEY FROM
WELL LOOK JUST THINK YOU HIRE SKIS AND BOOTS COSTS
YOU THREE OR FOUR QUID THATS IM SURE THATS ALL IN IS IT THEY SAY YOU HIRE
SKIS OR SOMETHING BUT OF COURSE THERES THE SKI LIFT WELL EXPENSIVE YOU GET A
BOOK OF FORTY TICKETS FOR A COUPLE OF QUID YOU SEE YES AND YOU WOULDNT
BE ABLE TO GO UP MORE THAN HOW MANY TIMES IN THE DAY EIGHT OR NINE ABOUT
A DOZEN MAYBE THEN I MEAN IN THE EVENING ITLL COST THE MEN FAR MORE WONT IT
YEAH ITLL COST THEM FAR MORE IM GLAD TO HEAR THERES SOMBODY WHO LISTENS WHO
VIEW THESE THINGS OBJECTIVELY WELL IT IS ITS PERFECTLY FAIR
YES IT WOULD COST THEM A LOT MORE UNLESS YOURE LIKE JOAN* I MEAN THE OTHER
JOAN* WHO JUST SORT OF BOOZES INDISCRIMINATELY WHO BOOZES FULL STOP ONE OF THOSE
SKI HOLIDAYS ARE WORTH THE MONEY YOU PAY FOR THEM OH GOOD HEAVENS I HOPE THEY
ARE OH IVE NEVER BEEN ON ONE JUST BECAUSE IVE HEARD THINGS ABOUT THEM HAVE HAVE
YOU BEEN SKIING YEAH IVE DONE QUITE A LOT OF SKIING IN SCOTLAND BUT IVE NEVER
BEEN ABROAD SKIING WELL I HAVE A VERY GOOD FRIEND AT HOME WHO WENT AND THEY
SAID IT WAS THE BEST
HOLIDAY THEYVE EVER HAD YOU KNOW IVE HEARD THIS ABOUT THESE THINGS
AND THEY SEEM VERY GOOD I THINK PROVIDED YOUVE GOT THE CASH IN
YOUR POCKET AND YOU DONT MIND SPENDING IT IT ITS PROBABLY PRETTY GOOD FUN
YES WELL I KNOW THATS ONE THING I WILL NOT HAVE THE WORST THING IS TO SAY
OH WELL CANT DO THAT TONIGHT BECAUSE I CANT AFFORD IT YES THEN ITS NOT WORTH
IT IM AFRAID IS IT ID LIKE TO LEARN TO SKI IS IT A BIG SORT OF PROBLEM HAVE YOU
NEVER SKIED IN SCOTLAND NO I OH IVE BEEN UP SKIING BEFORE I HAD SKIS ON WHEN
I WAS FOUR YEARS OLD ABROAD I THINK CAN YOU GET HOLD OF A CAR THIS
WEEKEND MIGHT BE ABLE TO GO SKIING THIS WEEKEND IF YOU LIKE GOT NO SKIS
I MEAN NO CLOTHES SUITABLE CLOTHES I WEAR WHAT IM WEARING NOW EXCEPT I WEAR AN
ANORAK ON TOP THATS ONE THING IN SCOTLAND THAT DOESNT MATTER WELL IT
DOESNT MATTER ANYWAY I MEAN ABROAD YES SURELY ABROAD WELL WELL I MEAN
PROFESSIONAL BUT ITS FAR BETTER YOU CAN IMPRESS PEOPLE FAR MORE IF YOU CAN SKI
RATHER THAN IF YOU WALK AROUND IN A PAIR OF FANCY TIGHTS ALL DAY
YEAH HOW MUCH DOES IT COST YOU GO UP FOR A WEEKEND DO YOU ALL THAT SNOW COST
A QUID BOTH TIMES OH WELL DO THEY GIVE LESSONS WELL ADMITTEDLY I HAD MY OWN
BOOTS BUT THAT WAS ONLY FIVE BOB
YOU SEE HIRE OF BOOTS OR ELSE YOU IF YOU WANT YOU CAN USE A PAIR OF CLIMBING
BOOTS AND JUST GET A FILE AND RUB A SLIGHT GROOVE IN THE BACK HAVE YOU GOT
CLIMBING BOOTS NO I HAVENT GOT ANY CLIMBING BOOTS WELL WELL YOU CAN BORROW THEM
I MEAN DOZENS OF PEOPLE HAVE GOT BOOTS
YES BUT NOT MY SIZE WHAT SIZE DYOU TAKE TEN TEN WELL YOU CAN HIRE THEM THEN WELL
ILL HIRE THEM YES I KNOW A PLACE WHERE YOU CAN HIRE BOOTS PRETTY CHEAP
ITS A WHAT UP MAN AND HIS WIFE WHO UP THERE YOU MEAN NO YOU HIRE THEM
HERE OH YOU DO ALL YOUR HIRING HERE YEAH YOU DO IT WELL ITS MUCH MORE EXPENSIVE
TO HIRE UP THERE YOU SEE AND WHEREABOUTS DYOU GO GLENSHEE* IS THE NEAREST
PLACE THATS THE DEVILS ELBOW YOU KNOW YOU GO THROUGH PERTH BLAIRGOWRIE
VAGUELY YES UP THERE YES ITS ITS ABOUT SEVENTY MILES THERE I SUPPOSE
YEAH NOW WHAT ABOUT IF YOU IF YOUVE NEVER SKIED BEFORE WHICH REALLY IS THE
CASE WITH ME WELL I HADNT SKIED BEFORE THE BEGINNING OF LAST YEAR REALLY
DID I LEAVE MY HANDBAG THERE YES YOU DID OH THANK YOU DO YOU LIKE MY SWEATER
DONT YOU THINK IT SUITS ME WELL I HADNT SKIED BEFORE THE BEGINNING OF LAST
YEAR ADMITTEDLY I SMASHED THREE PAIRS OF SKIS BUT DID YOU HAVE ANY LESSONS
NO BUT I I DONT THINK YOU NEED TO HAVE LESSONS THATS WHY THIS SKI BREAKING
BUSINESS BECAUSE THE FIRST PAIR I WAS BEING GALLANT YOU KNOW AND I I GAVE
MY SKI STICKS TO A GIRL WHOD LEFT HER LOST HERS IN THE SNOW AND IT WAS PRETTY
DRIVING BLIZZARD YOU KNOW AND IT WAS MISERABLE AND COLD AND THERES THIS POOR
GIRL STUMBLING DOWN ITS ITS A BIT DIFFICULT TO SKI WITHOUT STICKS
BECAUSE YOU CANT PUSH AND IF YOU FIND YOURSELF FALLING OVER ITS GOOD TO LEAN
ON THE STICK AND PUSH YOURSELF BACK AGAIN BECAUSE IF WHEN WHEN YOUVE GOT
QUITE A LENGTH OF WOOD ON YOUR FEET NOT SO EASY JUST TO PUT YOUR FOOT
SIDEWAYS NO YOUVE GOT TO PEEL UP AND YOUVE GOT TO PUT THEM DOWN PARALLEL
THE WHOLE TIME THATS THE BECAUSE

IF YOU CROSS THEM YOURE YOURE GOING TO FALL OVER YOU SEE IS IT REALLY NOT
WORTH IT HAVING LESSONS WELL YOU KNOW CERTAIN PEOPLE ARE FOR IT BUT I THINK
YOU LEARN JUST AS MUCH YOU SEE YOU ONLY LEARN BY IMITATION ANYWAY AND YOU CAN
LEARN BY IMITATION OF OTHER PEOPLE AROUND YOU I MEAN YOU CAN ONCE YOU CAN
SORT OF CONTROL THINGS TO A CERTAIN EXTENT YOURE ALL RIGHT GETTING USED TO
THIS GREAT WEIGHT ON YOUR FEET WELL I DONT THINK I MEAN YOU PROBABLY LEARN
QUICKER BY HAVING LESSONS BECAUSE THE FELLOW TAKES YOU THROUGH STAGES YOU SEE
BUT YOULL PAY QUITE A LOT TO HAVE LESSONS WHAT THEN
HOW MUCH IN SCOTLAND WELL
IT MAY BE IT MAY BE I DONT KNOW WHAT IT IS PROBABLY ABOUT SEVEN AND SIX AN HOUR
FOR A CLASS YES YOU SEE AND MAYBE A CLASS OF TWENTY EVEN AND AND ALL HELL DO
FOR THE FIRST BIT HELL TEACH YOU HOW TO WALK UP A SLOP SIDEWAYS
AND HOW TO WALK YOU PUT YOUR SKI LIKE THIS WELL I CAN WALK ACROSS SNOW AND WALK
UP A SLOPE WALK UP WITH YOUR FEET SORT OF HERRINGBONE FASHION
WELL IVE SURVEYED A GLACIER SO IM QUITE USED TO SNOW AND ICE WORK AND AND YOU
CAN EASILY LEARN HOW TO DO THIS JUST BY COPYING OTHER
PEOPLE AROUND THE PLACE AND THERE ARE PLENTY OF
PEOPLE WALKING UP SIDEWAYS AND BAGS OF PEOPLE WHO CANT SKI SO ITD BE WORTH IT
FOR ME TO GO UP SOMETIME IT OH YES IT CERTAINLY WOULD YOU SEE I THINK YOU
I THINK YOUD BE BETTER OFF GETTING FIVE DAYS SKIING IN HERE BECAUSE YOUD ENJOY
IT MUCH MORE WHEN YOU GET TO AUSTRIA YES YOU FIND YOU FIND THE FIRST COUPLE
OF DAYS UNLESS YOU HAPPEN TO HIT ON A ON A GOOD RUN OR SOMETHING
THAT WELL THE FIRST ONCE ANYWAY THAT YOU YOU KEPT FALLING OVER AND YOU
CANT CONTROL YOUR SKIS AND YOU FIND YOU KNOW YOUR FEET ARE ALL
UNWIELDY AND YOU KEEP ON SORT OF GETTING TWISTED UP AND THIS SORT OF THING
DOES IT HELP AT ALL BEING ABLE TO SKATE THE BALANCE WELL NO IT DIDNT HELP
ME VERY MUCH NO NO WELL YOU YOU IF I CAN GET DAVIDS* CAR YOU CAN COME WITH
US IF IF YOU CAN GET ONE MORE FOUR SHARING PETROL CAN YOU GET DAVIDS* CAR
I DONT KNOW ILL ASK HIM TOMORROW IF I GIVE HIM A QUID HE MIGHT SAY YES
BETTER DO IT FREE OF CHARGE WHY NOT BRING HIM ALONG PARDON BRING HIM
NO I DOUBT THAT HED SKI WELL HE CAN GO OUT AND BOOZE HE DOESNT YEAH ACTUALLY
HED WANT TO BRING A GIRL FRIEND IF HE WENT YOU SEE SHE SKIS
WELL CANT GET FIVE IN NOT NOT IN THAT AND SKIS AS WELL SKIS ON THE ROOF
NO YOU CANT BECAUSE HES GOT NO RACK OR ANYTHING OH WELL THEN
WELL TIE SKIS ON THE DOOR HANDLE ITS EASILY DONE YOU SEE AT GLENSHEE*
THERES A TOW AND A LIFT AND ITS QUITE GOOD SKIING UP THERE YOU KNOW ITS PRETTY
HIGH UP ITS THE HIGHEST ROAD IN ENGLAND THE DEVILS ELBOW OH GREAT BRITAIN
ACTUALLY IM SURE I SAW THEM SKIING ON BLACKFORD* HILL THE OTHER DAY YEAH
IM GOING DOWN THERE TOMORROW
MORNING I THINK IS IT WELL YES ITS GETTING A BIT EXPENSIVE NOW THATS THE TROUBLE
HAVE YOU GOT YOUR OWN SKIS I MADE A PAIR DID YOU WHAT FROM WOOD OLD ORANGE
BOXES NO NO NO I SPENT A WEEK MAKING THEM WELL I WANTED A PAIR YOU SEE
AND I COULDNT AFFORD TO BUY THEM BECAUSE I HAVENT GOT A GRANT THIS YEAR
HOW MUCH ARE THEY WELL CHEAPEST THATS FOR WOOD ALONE IS ABOUT EIGHT POUNDS
HOW MUCH ARE THE STEEL ONES OR ALUMINIUM ONES FOURTEEN FIFTEEN AS MUCH AS THAT
THATS WITHOUT THE BINDINGS THE BINDINGS ARE WORTH FIVE OR SIX QUID
YOU SEE THEN YOUVE GOT THE STICKS TO BUY AND SKI BOOTS AS WELL AND BOOTS
AND SKI TROUSERS WELL I THINK YOU NEED SKI TROUSERS ITS DONT YOU REALLY
DO YOU NOT GET SOAKED WELL IT DEPENDS HOW
YOU KNOW FUNCTIONAL YOU WANT TO BE AS OPPOSED TO PRETTY YOU WANT TO LOOK
YES NO BUT THERE MUST BE A PURPOSE BEHIND SKI TROUSERS WELL WELL THERE IS YES
THEYRE WARM AND DRY YEAH YEAH THEYRE WARM AND DRY THEY DONT FLAP BUT I USE THESE
JEANS AND ILL PROBABLY PAINT THEM WITH THAT STUFF NEB* YOU KNOW ITS FOR
WATERPROOFING YES ITS VERY GOOD STUFF BUT AND I ALWAYS WEAR A PAIR OF
LONG PANTS UNDERNEATH OR OR A PAIR OF PYJAMAS IS JUST AS GOOD
AND IF YOURE LEARNING TO SKI YOU KNOW SORT OF FIRST DAY OUT ITS AS WELL TO CHOP
A COUPLE OF HOLES IN A POLYTHENE BAG AND CLIMB INTO THAT LIKE A PAIR OF PANTS
BECAUSE YOU FALL OVER AND SIT DOWN A FAIR AMOUNT AND YOU SOON GET WET AND
WHEN THAT BEGINS TO FREEZE IT IT GETS PRETTY UNCOMFORTABLE ITS ALL RIGHT YOU SEE
PROVIDING THE SUN HASNT GONE DOWN BEHIND THE HILL BUT AS SOON AS THAT GOES

DOWN YOU FEEL A CLOUD OF SHADOW COMING OVER AND IT GETS TERRIBLY COLD ALL OF
A SUDDEN AND AND THEN YOU FIND THAT THE THAT THE SNOW BEGINS TO FREEZE
IN YOUR HAIR AND LITTLE BEADS OF WATER THAT GET CAUGHT ON YOUR FACE
ESPECIALLY IF YOUVE GOT A BEARD THEY TEND TO FREEZE UP TOO YOU SEE AND YOU GET
PRETTY COLD IF YOU IF YOURE WET THATS WHY AND THATS WHY YOU GET SKI
PANTS BECAUSE SKI PANTS ARE NORMALLY WATERPROOF WOULDNT IT BE BEST FOR ME
TO GO UP THERE FOR A START WELL IT MIGHT BE BUT YOU HAVENT GOT A TOW AND YOU
HAVENT GOT A LIFT AND YOUVE GOT TO WALK A FAIR AMOUNT AND ALSO IF YOURE
GOING TO HIRE SKIS ITS A BIT OF A WASTE OF MONEY HIRING SKIS TO SKI
ON THAT ROTTEN LITTLE BIT OF SNOW BECAUSE THERES THERES ONLY ABOUT SIX INCHES
THERE ANYWAY YES AND IF YOURE GOING TO LEARN YOURE GOING TO FALL OVER
YOU NEED A COUPLE OF FEET SEE AND AND THIS BUSINESS ABOUT BREAKING YOUR ANKLE
WELL I I HAVENT BROKEN AN ANKLE YET AND I LITERALLY LEARNT FROM SCRATCH LAST
YEAR WELL I I ITS THIS THING WHICH I MEAN IF YOU CAN SKATE YOULL PROBABLY
PICK IT UP EASY ENOUGH I CANT SKATE
I CANT ICE SKATE FOR NUTS OH I CAN SKATE ALL RIGHT I NEARLY KILLED EVERYONE
ON THE RINK WELL I IT DOESNT MATTER YOU YOUD SOON PICK IT UP ANYWAY
SKATINGS JUST A MATTER OF PRACTICE
YES SO WELL SO IS SKIING TOO YES AND
MY GOD YOU DONT HALF GET JEALOUS YOU SEE THOSE LITTLE KIDS THEY SORT OF GO
AND THEN THEY GO AND THEY COVER YOU WITH SNOW YOU KNOW YOU SORT OF STAND
THERE SORT OF PUSH OFF AND TITTER TEETER DOWN THE HILL YEAH JUST LIKE
AT THE ICE RINK IN LEEDS YOU KNOW YEAH THATS RIGHT YEAH TINY TOTS ABOUT THIS
SIZE WHERE DO YOU HIRE SKIS FROM I MEAN YOU COULD DO THAT ON THE SATURDAY BEFORE
CAN YOU YEAH THE BEST THING TO DO ACTUALLY WELL I ID GET
YOU TO COME WITH ME YEAH I MEAN YOU KNOW WHERE TO GO WELL ALL YOU DO YOU PHONE
UP AND YOU SAY DELIVER A PAIR OF SKIS AND A PAIR OF BOOTS SIZE TEN OH IM
NOT SURE BOOTS ARE THE SORT OF THING ID WANT TO TRY BECAUSE SIZE TEN VARIES AND
SOMETIMES IN A BOOT I TAKE A NINE WELL THE POINT IS THIS
IF YOU TAKE A NINE IN A BOOT AND YOU GET A TEN YOU MIGHT AS WELL GET A TEN
AND FILL IT UP WITH SOCKS BECAUSE ITS ALWAYS USEFUL TO HAVE PLENTY
OF SOCKS ON YOU SEE OF COURSE IF YOU WANT
SOCKS IVE GOT STACKS OF PAIRS OF SOCKS YOU CAN HAVE YES IVE GOT QUITE RUGBY
SOCKS AND THAT SORT OF THING AND AS FAR AS LOOKING SORT OF PROFESSIONAL
THIS DOESNT MATTER SO MUCH BECAUSE OH I DONT CARE THERE ARE PLENTY OF PEOPLE
GOING AROUND IN ARMY BOILER SUITS AND THIS SORT OF THING WHAT DO YOU RECKON TO A
A PARKER IS THAT ALL RIGHT FOR SKIING IN THAT THING BOBS* GOT GREEN
THING WITH A BOTTOM TAIL THAT COMES DOWN HERE AND A OH FAIR ENOUGH YOU SEE QUITE
A LOT OF THOSE THATS JOLLY USEFUL BECAUSE YOU KNOW JUST SIT DOWN IN IT YES
HE MIGHT LEND ME THAT IF I ASK STOP YOU GETTING HIM NICELY STOP YOU GETTING
WET MIGHT WILL BOB* LEND YOU HIS CAR BE WORTH MY WHILE TO GO PARDON WILL
BOB* LEND YOU HIS CAR WELL YES ITS A BIT OF A ITS ASKING A BIT MUCH TO GET UP
AND DOWN IT IS REALLY AND ITS A BIT SLOW AS WELL YES WELL IT IT MAKES A PRETTY
GOOD DAY YOU KNOW IT ITS GOOD FUN YOU START EARLY AND COME BACK PRETTY LATE
AND PRETTY TIRED AT THE END I THINK ITD BE WORTH IT ALL THE SAME THOUGH ITS
ITS PRETTY GOOD FUN THOUGH YES IM JUST GOING TO AND ALSO IN BLAIRGOWRIE WHICH IS
THE NEXT TOWN SEASON IN SCOTLAND THEY ALWAYS RUN A DANCE A SORT OF HOP ON HOP
ON SUNDAY NIGHT WHICH IS THE HOSTEL THAT EVERYBODY GOES TO OH THATS LOCH
MORLICH* OH YES BUT THATS UP IN THE CAIRNGORMS WHICH IS ABOUT A HUNDRED AND
FIFTY MILES ITS QUITE A LONG WAY AWAY NO IVE NO IDEA ABOUT THE GEOGRAPHY
OF SCOTLAND YEAH WELL IF YOU GO DRAW A LINE FROM EDINBURGH TO INVERNESS YES
AND YOU COME DOWN FROM INVERNESS ABOUT FIFTY MILES ITS ABOUT THERE HERE
YES KEEP YOUR FINGER THERE IT COMES
LIKE THIS ABOUT THERE BEFORE
I CAME UP TO EDINBURGH I THOUGHT THAT WAS YOU KNOW SO DID I I I HADNT THE
FAINTEST IDEA WHERE ANYTHING WAS STILL YOU KNOW THATS WHERE THATS WHERE
AVIEMORE* AND CARRBRIDGE* AND ALL THESE PLACES THAT YOU WERE TALKING ABOUT ARE

YES WELL I HAVE SOME QUITE INTERESTING NEWS TODAY REALLY I DONT KNOW IF YOUVE
HEARD IT HAVE YOU REALLY OH WHATS THIS THE NEWS IS THAT ELEANORS BEEN

APPOINTED TO THE JOB IN CAMBRIDGE OH BAD LUCK IM TERRIBLY SORRY YES WELL
IM NOT ALL THAT TERRIBLY SURPRISED ACTUALLY WELL IM NOT YOU KNOW IM SORRY BUT
IM GLAD YOULL STILL BE HERE NEXT YEAR OF COURSE YES EVERYBODYS BEEN MOST
KINDLY SURPRISED BUT WELL I ALWAYS THOUGHT SHE WAS A VERY STRONG CANDIDATE
ALTHOUGH SHE DIDNT HERSELF AND THIS GOES TO SHOW YOU SEE NOW I CAN SAY TO HER
I TOLD YOU SO OH DEAR OH WELL IT MUST BE A GREAT DISAPPOINTMENT BUT THEN ON
THE OTHER HAND THERERE BOUND TO BE OTHER JOBS TURNING UP ARENT THERE AND AND
IM VERY SATISFIED WITH THIS ONE YOU SEE I WAS VERY MUCH IN TWO MINDS WHETHER OR
NOT TO APPLY FOR THE CAMBRIDGE JOB BECAUSE IT WOULDVE MEANT LEAVING THIS ONE
YES BECAUSE IVE GOT YOU KNOW NICE COLLEAGUES AND ITS QUITE A PLEASANT JOB HERE
YOU KNOW I WENT UP TO CAMBRIDGE YESTERDAY MORNING FOR THE INTERVIEW YES AND IT
WASNT TOO BAD AN INTERVIEW THEY DIDNT ASK ANY TERRIBLE QUESTIONS THEY WERE ALL
VERY SENSIBLE QUESTIONS AND RELEVANT AND WELL I DONT THINK I MESSED IT MESSED IT
UP TOO BADLY WELL USUALLY ON THESE THINGS THEY THEYVE REALLY ALREADY MADE UP
THEIR MINDS HAVENT THEY WELL YOU KNOW THE FUNNY THING IS YOU SEE THAT SOMEBODY
WHO CLAIMED TO BE IN A POSITION TO KNOW WHAT WAY THEYD MADE UP THEIR MINDS YES
SAID THEYD MADE IT UP IN MY FAVOUR AND THIS IS EVIDENTLY NOT THE CASE OH WHAT
A SHAME NEVER MIND ELEANOR* IS VERY PLEASED NOW OF COURSE OH YES SHE MUST BE
BECAUSE SHE DOESNT LIKE LONDON VERY MUCH EXCUSE ME HALLO MISTER WELLS* YES OH
YES THATS RIGHT YES OH IM SORRY NO GOODBYE THAT WAS THE DUPLICATING PEOPLE
FOR THIS THING ABOUT INTONATION OH YES YES EVENTUALLY THEY GOT ROUND TO THE
STAGE OF DUPLICATING IT WHATS THAT IS THAT SOMETHING YOUVE BEEN WORKING ON
YES OR IS IT SOMETHING FOR YOUR PHONOLOGY OF ENGLISH NO NO ITS JUST A
COMPARISON OF HALLIDAYS* INTONATION ANALYSIS AND OCONNOR* AND ARNOLDS* YOU SEE
OH YES FOR THE BENEFIT OF EVERYBODY WHOS INTERESTED BUT ITS RATHER FUNNY
REALLY I FINISHED IT ABOUT THREE WEEKS AGO AND I GAVE IT TO GORDON* ARNOLD*
SAYING YOU KNOW DO READ IT THROUGH AND CHECK IT AS QUICKLY AS YOU CAN AND ILL
GET IT DUPLICATED AND DISTRIBUTE IT AND SO HE READ IT SORT OF OVERNIGHT YOU
KNOW AND GAVE IT BACK THE NEXT DAY WITH LOTS OF USEFUL COMMENTS SO I TOOK IT
TO MICHAEL* AND SAID THE SAME THING AND HE SAID YES AND HE ACTUALLY SAT ON IT
EVENTUALLY FOR NEARLY THREE WEEKS BEFORE HE GAVE IT BACK HOWEVER ITS NOW
ITLL BE READY BY TOMORROW I SHOULD THINK WHEN DID THEY TURN CHANGE THE
TELEPHONES OVER HERE SHORTLY AFTER I ARRIVED IN FACT YES THE FIRST TERM WHEN
I WAS ON THE STAFF THERE USED TO BE JUST ONE TELEPHONE SYSTEM YOU SEE BLACK
TELEPHONES ALL ON GPO SO YOU CANT TELEPHONE OUTSIDE WITH ANY OF THEM NOW
THERERE TWO SYSTEMS BLACK ONES FOR OUTSIDE AND THESE GREEN ONES FOR INTERNAL
OH I SEE I THOUGHT THESE WERE THE ORDINARY GPO ONES NO AND I WAS RATHER
SURPRISED TO FIND THEM HERE BECAUSE THEYRE QUITE EXPENSIVE YES WELL NOW I
CANT PHONE OUTSIDE ON MY OWN PHONE I HAVE TO GO AND TRY SOMEBODY ELSES YOU SEE
YES YES I THINK ACTUALLY IT MIGHT BE A GOOD IDEA TO STOP THE RECORDING NOW
JUST TO CHECK IF ITS COMING LOUD ENOUGH YES OK ON WE GO HOW DID YOU GET ON
WITH YOUR ESPERANTO DICTIONARY OH IVE VERY NEARLY FINISHED THE ESPERANTO
ENGLISH SECTION NOW IM ON THE LAST ONE PERCENTILE DO YOU LIKE THE WORD
PERCENTILE ITS A NICE WORD ITS GORGEOUS IT MEANS A HUNDREDTH YES I DID KNOW
THAT MY BACKGROUND ALLOWS ME TO KNOW THINGS LIKE THIS SORT OF THING ITS
WONDERFUL TO BE EDUCATED I ALWAYS SAY I AM IN MOST SURPRISING FASHIONS AND AM
TERRIBLY IGNORANT IN OTHERS I THINK WE ALL ARE ONE THING I MUST SAY I FOUND I
FOUND IN DOING THIS DICTIONARY IS THAT YOU KNOW ONE NEEDS TO LEARN AN AWFUL
LOT OF THINGS ABOUT OTHER SUBJECTS YOU REALIZE HOW IGNORANT YOU ARE YES YES
I USED TO FIND AT FORD THAT YOU BECOME SURPRISINGLY KNOWLEDGEABLE IN ALL SORTS
OF THINGS LIKE MOLECULAR IRON AND THINGS LIKE THAT BECAUSE WHAT KIND OF IRON
IS THAT IRON OR ION IRON OH I SEE YES ONE STUDY I HAD TO DO WAS WHETHER WE
SHOULD CONTINUE HAVING A ROLLING MILL AND SO YOUD HAVE TO GO DOWN THE FACTORY
FLOOR AND OF COURSE THEY WOULD TRY AND BLIND YOU WITH SCIENCE AND IF YOU COULD
BRING OUT A FEW OF THESE PHRASES THEY WOULD THINK MAYBE SHES NOT QUITE SUCH
A CLOT WE THOUGHT SHE WAS AND CRYSTALLINE STRUCTURE AND ALL THAT YES YES AND
THEYD TEND TO LISTEN TO YOU JUST WITH MORE I FOUND IT VERY USEFUL FROM THIS
POINT OF VIEW SHARING ROOMS WITH SCIENTISTS IN CAMBRIDGE WHEN I WAS AN
UNDERGRADUATE BECAUSE ID SORT OF PICK UP WORDS LIKE VECTOR AND MATRIX AND SO
ON AND YES YOU JUST THROW THESE WORDS IN AND ITS YOU DONT HAVE TO UNDERSTAND

THEM REALLY AND PEOPLE GET THE IMPRESSION YOU KNOW ABOUT THEM AND FURTHERMORE
IF YOU SORT OF JUST QUESTION ANYBODY RATHER CLOSELY ABOUT THEM PARTICULARLY IF
THEYRE SOMETHING THEYVE ONLY JUST DONE AND DONT KNOW VERY THOROUGHLY OF
COURSE YOU COULD SOON REDUCE THEM TO NOT BEING CERTAIN EITHER YES ACTUALLY
MATRIX IS A TERM ID NEVER HEARD OF UNTIL QUITE QUITE RECENTLY WELL WE JUST
TALKED OF TABLES AND TABULATION AND USUALLY LINGUISTS WHEN THEY TALK OF
MATRICES THEY DONT REALLY SEEM TO MEAN MUCH MORE THAN THAT I I DONT THINK THEY
MEAN IT YES IN THE MATHEMATICAL SENSE OF CODING WELL IT DEPENDS AND STRICTLY
SPEAKING STRICTLY SPEAKING A MATRIX HAS THE SAME KIND OF COORDINATES IN OTHER
WORDS YOU KNOW YOU HAVE SAY ONE SYSTEM ON ONE AXIS AND ANOTHER SYSTEM ON ANOTHER
AXIS YES BUT AND YOU WOULDNT JUST HAVE A TABLE YOU KNOW WITH YOU KNOW NUMBERED
NUMBER OF INSTANCES OF ONE KIND ON ONE AXIS AND READINGS OF SOME VALUE ON THE
OTHER AXIS THAT WOULD JUST BE A TABLE NOT A MATRIX YES BUT I DONT THINK THEY
MEAN IT IN THE SAME SENSE OF WELL YOU DONT HAVE TO KNOW ABOUT HOW YOU MULTIPLY
MATRICES IN ORDER TO UNDERSTAND LINGUISTICS WHICH I THOUGHT ONE DID HAVE TO
AT FIRST NO AND RUSHED OFF TO GET A BOOK ON MATRICES I SUPPOSE STRICTLY SPEAKING
A MATRIX IS A SET OF RULES REALLY FOR CONVERTING ONE SET OF COORDINATES INTO
ANOTHER SET OF COORDINATES YES YES WITH DIFFERENT ORIGIN I REMEMBER SEEING
ONE OF THOSE MATHHEMATICAL LECTURES ON TELEVISION FOR SIX FORMERS AND WELL
THEN THEY WERE TALKING ABOUT VECTORS AS WELL IM NOT AWFULLY CERTAIN ABOUT
WHAT VECTORS ARE WELL VECTORS A DIRECTED QUANTITY ISNT IT IS IT QUANTITY
GOING AT A PARTICULAR DIRECTION WELL IT MUST BE TURNING SOMEWHERE MUSTNT IT
WELL YOU HAVE WELL LET ME SEE WITH MATRICES YOU TURN THEM ROUND DONT YOU
IN ORDER TO WELL A VECTOR IS OF A PARTICULAR VALUE AS ITS QUANTITY OR
MAGNITUDE AND DIRECTED IN A PARTICULAR DIRECTION WITH REFERENCE TO SOME
POINT OF ORIGIN SO WHEN YOU APPLY A MATRIX TO A VECTOR WHAT YOU DO IS YOU GET
THE NEW MAGNITUDE AND THE NEW DIRECTION WITH REFERENCE TO THE NEW POINT OF
ORIGIN ISNT IT I THINK IT MUST BE SOMETHING LIKE THAT BECAUSE I REMEMBER
BEING STUMPED READING THROUGH THE CATEGORIES AND THERE WAS A NOTE ON VECTORS
ABOUT TENSE SYSTEMS I THINK OH YES I THINK IT REFERRED TO BULL* OR SOMEONE
OR BALL* I CANT REMEMBER YES TIME TENSE AND THE VERB THIS REFERRED I THINK TO
THE IDEA THAT I THINK WITH LANGUAGE BEING TALKED ABOUT TENSE CAN BE LOOKED AT
AS BEING IN A PARTICULAR DIRECTION FROM THE PRESENT YES AND AT A PARTICULAR
DISTANCE AWAY FROM THE PRESENT DO YOU SEE RATHER THAN OTHER POSSIBLE SYSTEMS
I DONT REALLY UNDERSTAND IT THOUGH ANYHOW WHATS A DETERMINANT COMPARED WITH
VECTOR DETERMINANT I DONT KNOW NO I THINK DETERMINANTS COME FIRST IF YOURE
BEING A MATHEMATICIAN IM NOT A MATHEMATICIAN AT ALL I DIDNT EVEN DO MATHS IN
GCE DIDNT YOU NO HOW DID YOU SKIP THAT WELL WE HAD I SUPPOSE THE HEADMISTRESS
WAS UNUSUALLY FLEXIBLE I SAID I WASNT GOING TO USE IT AND SO I WAS ALLOWED TO
DROP IT OF COURSE NOW I WISH I HADNT YES BUT YES I MEAN ALTHOUGH I THINK
MATHEMATICS IS DIFFERENT NOW I THINK ITS FAR LESS BORING ITS NORMALLY THOUGH
AN ENTRANCE REQUIREMENT FOR UNIVERSITY STUDIES OF ANY KIND ISNT IT NO YOU CAN
SUBSTITUTE SCIENCE OH IS THAT SO OH I DID LOOK INTO THAT FIRST YES OH I DID
BOTH ELEMENTARY MATHS AND ADDITIONAL MATHS AT O LEVEL I THOUGHT IT WAS GREAT
FUN YES THOUGH WE DIDNT DO COORDINATE GEOMETRY  AND CALCULUS AND THAT SORT OF
THING WELL OF COURSE NOWADAYS THEY TEND TO DO FAR MORE INTERESTING
MATHEMATICS DONT THEY THE SET THEORY AND WELL MATRICES SO THEY SAY AND BOOLEAN
ALGEBRA AND THINGS LIKE THAT DOES ONE DO THIS AT A SORT OF LOWER LEVEL THOUGH
OH YES I THINK YOU CAN DO IT FOR GCE O LEVEL YES OH SURPRISING SO YES I THINK
MATHSS INTERESTING I MUST SAY YOU KNOW I VERY NEARLY SPECIALIZED IN MATHS
I KNEW THAT SORT OF THING WHEN I WAS AGED ABOUT YOU KNOW ELEVEN OR TWELVE
OH NO AND WHEN SOMEBODY DOESNT KNOW WHERE TRINIDAD IS OR DOESNT KNOW WHERE
PORTUGUESE GUINEA IS I FEEL VERY SUPERIOR OH IM ALWAYS FEELING SUPERIOR
ABOUT ALL SORTS OF THINGS I DONT FEEL SUPERIOR ABOUT GEOGRAPHY THOUGH I TEND TO
KNOW EASTERN EUROPEAN COUNTRIES PRETTY WELL NOW BECAUSE IVE BEEN TO MOST OF
THEM BUT OF COURSE GOING TO PLACES IS THE OTHER SURE WAY OF GETTING TO KNOW
THEM YES BUT EVEN SO I THINK I COULD GET MIXED UP AND FORGET WHICH ONE ID
GONE TO FIRST OR SOMETHING YES AND ITS VERY DIFFICULT TO THINK OF THE
POSITIONS OF CITIES IN COUNTRIES ONE DOESNT KNOW PARTICULARLY WELL I MEAN YOU
KNOW EVEN WITHIN A COUNTY OF ENGLAND A COUNTY THAT I DONT KNOW VERY INTIMATELY

I WOULDNT BE ABLE TO POSITION THE VARIOUS TOWNS RELATIVELY TO ONE ANOTHER AT ALL
EFFICIENTLY YES HAVE YOU BEEN TO ROUMANIA THOUGH ROUMANIA YES WE ONLY WENT
TO OH WHAT WAS THE PLACE MAMAIA ON THE BLACK SEA YES YES AND CONSTANZA OF
COURSE WHICH IS THE PORT DID YOU GO TO BUCHAREST NO WE WERE SUPPOSED TO GO
BUT WELL WE HAD A CHOICE WE WERE ON A CRUISE AND WE COULD EITHER GO TO
BUCHAREST FOR THREE DAYS OR WE COULD STAY IN MAMAIA AND BY THAT TIME WE WERE
GETTING A BIT FED UP WITH SIGHT SEEING SO WE DECIDED TO HAVE THREE DAYS AT THE
SEASIDE AND JUST BATHE IT WAS HOT AS WELL I MUST SAY THERERE FASCINATING
NAMES OF TOWNS IN ROUMANIA THERES TIMISUOALA THAT I THINK LOOKS NICE
YES ONE CALLED PLUSION OH WELL WED NEVER REALIZED YOU SEE WE WERE FRIGHTFULLY
IGNORANT WE NEVER REALIZED ITS CONNECTIONS WITH OVID BEFORE AND ITS QUITE
I WONDERED YES AND THEY HAD A TREMENDOUS NUMBER OF ROMAN REMAINS THERE YES WELL
I DID TAKE ANCIENT HISTORY THISS ONE THING I DID DO AT SCHOOL BECAUSE I HAD
TO DO IT FOR AN A LEVEL SUBJECT YES OF COURSE YOU KNOW A LOT OF IT IS
CONCERNED WITH DACIA AND THAT PART AND PARTICULARLY SINCE MY SPECIAL PERIOD WAS
TROJAN AND HADRIAN WHO WERE THE ONES WHO YOU KNOW WERE ABLE TO EXPEND EXPAND
THE EMPIRE TO ITS LARGEST EXTENT THEN THE SHOPS WERE TERRIBLY EMPTY AND I
FIND ALL COMMUNIST COUNTRIES TERRIBLY DEPRESSING YES YOU CAN NEVER GET
ANYTHING ONE THING I THINK THAT IS EXHILARATING IS THE WAY THAT BOOKS ARE SO
EAGERLY SOUGHT FOR AND ARE SOLD ON THE STREETS AND SO ON IN A WAY THAT THEYRE
NOT IN THIS COUNTRY YES YES AND PEOPLE SEEM TO KNOW AN AWFUL LOT ABOUT WHATS
GOING ON INTERNALLY YES YES AND THEY DO SEEM TO BE WORKING FOR THE IDEALS OF
THE COUNTRY THE PROPAGANDA SEEMS TO WORK I DONT KNOW WHETHER ITS A GOOD THING
FOR PROPAGANDA TO WORK WELL I THINK IF ITS A MATTER OF A SENSE OF NATIONAL
PURPOSE ITS NOT A BAD THING YES IT GIVES A SENSE OF PURPOSE NOW THATS ONE
THING WHEREAS PEOPLE ELSEWHERE SEEM TO TALK ABOUT THEY AND PEOPLE LIKE TO HAVE
SOMETHING TO LIVE FOR OF COURSE AND YES YES I HAVENT BEEN TO ROUMANIA IVE ONLY
WADED INTO THE DANUBE ON THE OPPOSITE SIDE OH YES OF THE FRONTIER OF BULGARIA
YOU KNOW OH I HAVENT BEEN TO BULGARIA I THINK THERE WAS RATHER A LOT OF TROUBLE
AT THE TIME THIS WAS ABOUT THREE YEARS AGO AND THE CRUISE JUST DIDNT INCLUDE
BULGARIA AND OH I SEE I WENT TO BULGARIA THEYRE TERRIBLY HOSPITABLE OF COURSE
YOU KNOW FOREIGN TOURISTS ARE A RATHER RARE AND B VERY VERY VALUABLE SOURCES
OF CURRENCY TO THEM OH YES WHEN WE WERE ON THE BEACH IN MAMAIA AND PEOPLE KEPT
ON COMING UP TO US AND ASKING WHETHER WE HAD ANYTHING FOR SALE AND YES IN
PARTICULAR SUN GLASSES OH REALLY YES AND WE COULDVE QUITE EASILY PAID FOR THE
HOLIDAY YOU KNOW WITH ABOUT A DOZEN PAIRS OF SUNGLASSES THE TROUBLE IS ITS
DIFFICULT TO KNOW WHAT TO TAKE ISNT IT WHEN I WENT TO POLAND FOUR AND A HALF
YEARS AGO BALL PENS WERE THE ABSOLUTE WONDER THINGS YOU SEE THEY COULDNT GET
THEMSELVES AND SO I THOUGHT AH ILL TAKE SOME FOR PRESENTS AND SO ON WHEN I
WENT A YEAR AND A BIT AGO AND BY THEN OF COURSE THEY HAD THEIR OWN OLD HAT OH
THE SUN GLASSES THAT YEAR THAT WERE ALL THE RAGE WERE THESE THAT WHEN YOU
LOOKED AT THE PERSON YOU COULD SEE YOUR OWN REFLECTION I THINK THEYRE
HORRIBLE THINGS YES THEY WERE FASHIONABLE IN POLAND TOO WHEN I WENT IN THE SAME
YEAR YES I MUST SAY POLAND WAS A COMPLETE SORT OF CULT OF THE WEST YOU KNOW YES
ANYTHING WESTERN PARTICULARLY IF IT WAS AMERICAN WAS AUTOMATICALLY THE BEST
POSSIBLE PEOPLE WEARING AMERICAN JEANS AS IF THEY WERE THE MOST EXPENSIVE
TROUSERS YOU COULD BUY THEY MAYVE BEEN OF COURSE I DONT KNOW AND YOU KNOW A
LITTLE POCKET RADIO WELL I HAD MINE WITH ME WHICH WAS JAPANESE OR HONG KONG
OR SOMETHING AND THEY THOUGHT THIS WAS WONDERFUL BECAUSE ALL THEY GOT WAS
RUSSIAN ONES GOOD LORD WELL WHAT AMAZES ME IS THAT THEY HAVE VERY POOR FINISH ON
THEIR THINGS I REMEMBER AT THE EXHIBITION IN BRUSSELLS LOOKING ROUND THE
RUSSIAN PAVILION THEIR CARS EVEN THOUGH THEY WERE THERE FOR EXHIBITION PURPOSES
HAVENT BEEN FINISHED OFF AT ALL OH REALLY THE PAINTWORK WAS REALLY SHOCKING
ORANGE PEEL FINISH ITS FUNNY ISNT IT YES WELL PERHAPS ITS WELL ITS SOMETHING
TO DO WITH THEIR STANDARDS I SUPPOSE WHAT ABOUT THE CZECH AND EAST GERMAN CARS
I MEAN THEYVE BEEN VERY FAVOURABLY REVIEWED HAVENT THEY THE SKODA I THINK THINK
THEY ARE A BIT BETTER FINISHED I DONT KNOW MUCH ABOUT THE EAST GERMAN ONES
THE WARBURG THERES ONE THAT NO I HAVENT SEEN THAT AND THEY DO FIT THEM ALL
WITH THINGS LIKE UNDERSEAL AUTOMATICALLY DONT THEY YES I SUPPOSE THAT IS WELL
ITS ITS USEFUL FOR SOUND DEAF DEAFENING YES AND AND FOR YOU KNOW GENERAL

PROTECTION OF THE BODYWORK YES YES YOU KNOW SALT ON THE ROADS AND ALL THAT
SORT OF THING WELL IM NEVER VERY KEEN ON KEEPING A CAR FOR MORE THAN A YEAR
SO IM NOT VERY USED VERY INTERESTED IN UNDERSEALING DOESNT IT PROTECT ITS
SECOND HAND VALUE THOUGH WELL IM NOT CONCERNED WITH THAT EITHER IM RATHER
LUCKY YES IVE RATHER SELFISH NOTIONS REGARDING CARS I ASKED WENDY* OWNER* ABOUT
CARS AND SHE WAS VERY SHOCKED WHEN I SAID THAT I THOUGHT THAT YOU KNOW ON THE
WHOLE ONE SHOULDNT COUNT ON IT LASTING MORE THAN FIVE OR SIX YEARS SHE WAS
VERY SURPRISED THAT SUCH AN EXPENSIVE EXPENSION OF CAPITAL SHOULD ONLY HAVE SUCH
 A VERY SHORT LIFE AND I WONDER IF YOU YOU KNOW DO MAINTAIN THEM PROPERLY AND
REGULARLY REPAIR THEM AND KEEP THEM IN GOOD TRIM HOW LONG A CAR AN ORDINARY
MODERN PRODUCTION CAR WOULD LAST OH I SHOULD THINK IT WOULD LAST QUITE A LONG
TIME YOUD PROBABLY HAVE TO PUT A NEW ENGINE IN OH YES ILL PUT A NEW ENGINE IN
FORTY THOUSAND MILES OR SO YES I MEAN BECAUSE AN ENGINE DOESNT COST VERY MUCH
AND WELL BODY WORK IT JUST DEPENDS ON WHAT CARE YOU TAKE OF IT IF YOU HAVE A
LOT OF ACCIDENTS OF COURSE THAT WEAKENS IT BUT USUALLY I THINK THEY MIGHT
RUST BUT YOU CAN GO OVER IT QUITE CAREFULLY AND YES AND HOW WELL DOES THIS STUFF
 CURERUST* WORK OH I THINK THAT THAT WORKS VERY WELL YES YES PROVIDED YOU GET
ALL THE RUST AWAY AND THEN YOU PAINT OVER IT I THINK WELL CURERUST* IS
SUPPOSED TO YOU KNOW DO THE GETTING THE RUST AWAY FOR YOU ISNT IT DOES IT
REALLY OH ITS SUPPOSED TO COMBINE CHEMICALLY WITH RUST TO PROVIDE A NEW STRONG
COATING AND PAINT OVER IT YES I SEE OH WELL I HADNT HEARD OF IT YOU SEE THERE
AGAIN NOT BEING INTERESTED IN THE CAR AFTER A YEAR WE HARDLY EVEN BOTHER TO
CLEAN IT EVEN OH DEAR ACTUALLY I MUST CLEAN MINE ITS GONE A FORTNIGHT NOW A
FORTNIGHT OH WELL OURS GETS CLEANED ABOUT ONCE EVERY TWO MONTHS AND THATS
USUALLY BECAUSE PEOPLE IN THE TOWN START MAKING RUDE COMMENTS OR WE DONT LIKE
ALL THE FINGER MARKS ON THE CAR YES YOU KNOW THIS CAR IS DIRTY CLEAN IT THAT
SORT OF THING YES I FIND MY CHROME IS JUST BEGINNING TO YOU KNOW GET A LITTLE
BIT SPOTTED SO ID BETTER CLEAN IT OR ITLL IF IF YOU DO GET A LOT OF RUST ON
IT OXALIC ACID IS ABOUT THE BEST THING TO REMOVE IT WITH IS IT YOU GET OXALIC
ACID CRYSTALS AND OH I THINK YOU MELT TWO OUNCES YOU YOU DISSOLVE TWO OUNCES IN
ABOUT TWO PINTS OF WATER OH SO YOU COULD HAVE ONE OUNCE IN ONE PINT ANYHOW YES
AND PUT A LITTLE BIT OF WASHING UP LIQUID IN THE WATER AS WELL AND THEN YOU COAT
THE CAR WITH THAT PREFERABLY WITH A PAINT BRUSH BECAUSE YOU MUSTNT GET IT ON THE
 HANDS LEAVE IT TO DRY AND WHITE WHITE COATING WHAT WHAT WOULD YOU CALL THAT
WHITE CRYSIP UNDERCOAT NO IT IT GOES WHITE JUST JUST LIKE BRASSO ALL RIGHT IT
GOES WHITE YES WHAT DOES ONE SAY FOR THAT IT DRIES OFF WITH IN A WHITE POWDER
ALL RIGHT A PRECIPITATE YES I THINK IT IS AND THEN YOU JUST WASH IT OFF I SEE
AND YOURE LEFT WITH THE CAR FREE OF ALL RUST MARKS WHAT DOES IT DO TO THE
PAINT WORK OH IT LEAVES IT QUITE UNHARMED I SEE WONDERFUL OH THATS A DEALERS
TRICK ACTUALLY ALONG WITH PAINTING THE TYRES BLACK CUTTING OUT NEW MOULDS IN
THEM WELL NO ITS ITS QUITE ALL RIGHT TO DO TO REMOVE RUST AND WELL NO
SELF RESPECTING DEALER WOULD CUT GASHES IN TYRES AND CUT THEM TO TRADE THEM
THEY DO PAINT THEM BLACK THOUGH DONT THEY WELL YES I THINK I THINK THATS
ALL RIGHT DONT YOU YOU KNOW I KNOW THAT THE SECOND HAND CAR DEALERS RECKON
THAT WHAT THEY DO TO THE CAR IS CLEAN IT AND THAT IS WHAT JUSTIFIES THEM IN
CHARGING MUCH MORE FOR IT IF YOU CLEAN YOUR CAR THOROUGHLY AND GET IT
ABSOLUTELY  SHINING ALL OVER BEFORE TRADING IT IN WOULD YOU GET A HIGHER
RETURN I THINK YOU WOULD TEND TO BECAUSE A SECOND HAND CAR DEALER WILL ALWAYS
LOOK AT THE BODYWORK RATHER THAN THE ENGINE HES VERY RARELY INTERESTED IN THE
ENGINE AND MECHANICALS AND SO IF YOU SPRUCE THE BODYWORK UP AND THE INTERIOR
THEN THE TRIM HE WILL PROBABLY GIVE YOU ABOUT PERHAPS TEN POUNDS EXTRA I SEE YES
 WELL WORTH DOING APPARENTLY YES YES I DONT KNOW REALLY WHETHER TO HANG ON TO
MINE YOU KNOW UNTIL IT FALLS APART OR WHETHER TO TRADE IT IN WELL THE STUDIES
THATVE BEEN DONE USUALLY INDICATE THAT ITS BETTER TO CHANGE YOUR CAR EVERY
YEAR  EVERY YEAR NOT EVERY TWO YEARS EVEN YES YES AND CHANGE IT FOR A NEW ONE
EVERY YEAR YES OH YES YOU MUST KEEP BUYING A NEW ONE I SEE ILL ILL SEE IF
I CAN FIND ONE OF THOSE STUDIES GET A NEW CAR AND LET SOMEONE ELSE FIND OUT
ALL THE SNAGS WELL IT DEPENDS ON WHEN YOURE BUYING A MODEL DOESNT IT IF YOU BUY
 A MODEL WHEN IT FIRST COMES OUT THERE ARE GOING TO BE TEETHING TROUBLES YES
BUT YOUR CAR IS ONE THATS BEEN ON THE MARKET NOW FOR ABOUT THREE YEARS OR

LONGER AND NO ITS ONLY ABOUT THREE YEARS BECAUSE YOUVE GOT THE TWELVE HUNDRED
OH THATS YES THATS RIGHT YES YES BUT IT HAS NO TEETHING TROUBLES I THINK
REAR AXLE NOISE IS ABOUT THE ONLY THING THATS LIABLE TO GO WRONG WITH IT I CANT
 THINK WHAT ELSE YES SO YOU THINK THIS TIME NEXT YEAR I SELL IT AND GET ANOTHER
ONE YES YES DO YOU LIKE IT YES YES ITS VERY NICE HAVING SO MUCH ACCELERATION
PARTICULARLY YES YES THE ONLY THING IS THAT EVERY NOW AND AGAIN WHEN ITS A
RATHER GREASY ROAD AS IT WAS LAST SUNDAY MORNING I ACCELERATE SO THAT I GET
SPIN ON THE BACK WHEELS YES YES WHICH SURPRISES ME BECAUSE I THOUGHT THAT WAS
THING YOU ONLY GOT WITH SPORTS CARS YOU KNOW THERES A YOU HAVENT STIFFENED THE
SUSPENSION OR ANYTHING AT ALL NO HOW DOES ONE DO THAT WELL YOU HAVE TO TAKE IT
ALONG TO A DEALER THEY SOMETIMES THEY PUT IN AN EXTRA BAR WILL THAT CURE IT NO
SOMETIMES OH WHATS IT OH THERES A I CANT REMEMBER THE NAME OF THIS THING BUT
ITS HEAVENS SOME PRODUCT MMMMMM SOME PRODUCT OR WHAT YES WHICH DOES A ROLL ANTI
 ROLL BAR OH YES CAN DO QUITE A LOT TO A CAR HASNT IT GOT AN ANTI ROLL BAR
ALREADY WELL YES OF THIS SORT BUT YOU CAN GET A BETTER ONE TO PUT ON IT I SEE
YES ITS PLATTS LANE DO YOU KNOW PLATTS LANE JUNCTION OF FINCHLEY ROAD NO WELL
YOU KNOW WHERE THE HENDON WAY TURNS OFF FINCHLEY ROAD VAGUELY AH YOU SEE WELL
THIS IS THE TRAFFIC LIGHTS JUST BEFORE PLATTS LANE TURNS OFF TO THE RIGHT AND
THERE YOURE ON A SLIGHT INCLINE YES AND YOU USUALLY WANT TO GET AWAY SHARPLY
SO AS TO GET IN THE RIGHT LANE FOR THE NEXT LOT OF LIGHTS YOU SEE AND TWICE
THERE I GOT INTO A SLIDE BECAUSE OF THIS HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON A SKID PAN NO

ARE YOU NOT INTERESTED OR WELL HOW DOES ONE GET ON THE SKID PAN OH THERES ONE
AT EALING WHICH IS OPEN TO THE PUBLIC AND THERES ANOTHER ONE IN HORNCHURCH
YOU JUST GO ALONG AND SAY I WOULD LIKE TO SKID WELL NO ITS ADVISABLE TO RING
UP FIRST TO MAKE AN APPOINTMENT OTHERWISE YOU CAN GET ON ONE AT BRANDS HATCH BUT
ITS RATHER DIFFICULT BECAUSE ITS OWNED BY THE BRITISH SCHOOL OF MOTORING
WHO OWNS THE ONE AT EALING THE THE COUNCIL I THINK THE HORNCHURCH ONE IS
PRIVATELY OWNED WHERE IS IT AT EALING ANYHOW I DONT KNOW I HAVENT THATS THE
ONLY ONE I HAVENT BEEN ON I SEE IVE BEEN ON THE ONE AT BRANDS HATCH AND IVE
BEEN ON THE ONE IN HORNCHURCH AND IVE BEEN ON THE CHELMSFORD ONE WHICH IS
OWNED BY THE POLICE AND I RATHER ENJOY SKIDDING AS A SPORT AND SO I HAVENT DONE
ANY SKIDDING AT ALL IF YOURE ON A SKID PAN IS IT POSSIBLE TO TURN THE CAR OVER
OR NOT OH YES YES GOOD THEY DID GET A BIT WORRIED ABOUT ME AT BRANDS HATCH
BECAUSE I THEY SAID I WAS GETTING A BIT OVER ENTHUSIASTIC AND I WAS TRYING TO
DO HAIRPIN BEND TURNS VERY VERY QUICKLY AND THEY SAID YOU KNOW WATCH IT MAKE
SURE YOUR TYRES ARE WELL AND TRULY WET OR OTHERWISE YOURE GOING TO TURN THIS
CAR OVER OF COURSE IT WAS THEIR CAR I WAS USING AND NOT MY OWN ITS NOT VERY
ADVISABLE TO USE YOUR OWN CAR ALTHOUGH ITS WELL AT LEAST MMM WHAT WAS I GOING
TO SAY WELL YOU WANT TO KNOW HOW YOUR OWN CAR WILL REACT YEAH UNDER SKID
CONDITIONS AND OF COURSE YOU ARE LIABLE TO HARM THE SUSPENSION AND THE STEERING
TO SOME EXTENT I DONT REALLY I DONT REALLY PLAN TO SKID I MUST SAY NO BUT ONCE
WELL WHEN YOU HAVE BEEN ON THE SKID PAN YOULL GET USED TO IT AND YOURE
THAT MUCH MORE CONFIDENT IF IT HAPPENS YES YES PERHAPS ONE BECOMES OVER
CONFIDENT BECAUSE I GET A LITTLE THRILL NOW I THINK OH THAT WAS A NICE LITTLE
SKID OR I THINK I CONTROLLED THAT ALL RIGHT AND OF COURSE ONE OF THESE DAYS
IM GOING TO HAVE A TERRIBLE ACCIDENT BECAUSE I JUST WONT CONTROL IT I NEVER
HAVE HAD A FRONT WHEEL SKID AS FAR AS I KNOW YOU KNOW YES A BACK WHEEL SKID IS
QUITE EASY BUT CAN YOU GET OUT OF A FRONT WHEEL SKID OH YES YOU CAN BUT THE
MAIN THING IS THAT WITH A FRONT SKID FRONT WHEEL SKID THE SENSATION IS THAT YOU
LOSE CONTROL OF YOUR STEERING SO YOU MUST TURN YOUR WHEELS TOWARDS THE OBJECT
THAT YOU THINK YOURE GOING TO HIT YES THATS IT UNTIL YOURE OVER WELL SO LONG
AS YOU HAVE THE PRESENCE OF MIND SO LONG AS YOU A REALIZE YOURE IN A
FRONT WHEEL SKID B REALIZE THAT YOU HAVE TO TURN YOUR WHEEL IN THE DIRECTION
YOU DONT WANT TO GO AND C THAT YOUVE GOT THE COURAGE TO DO IT WELL YOURE OK
PROVIDED YOU HAVE THE TIME AND THEN ONCE YOUVE GOT THEM POINTING AT THE OBJECT
NEAR TO YOU THEN YOU CAN TURN AWAY FROM IT OH YES ITS SURPRISING IT IT REACTS
VERY VERY QUICKLY YOU KNOW YOU JUST HAVE TO YOU JUST POINT THE WHEELS AND THEN
YOURE BACK IN CONTROL AND THEN YOU CAN TURN AWAY FROM IT BUT WONDERFUL YES
THERE YOU GET DOWN AT BRANDS HATCH THEY GAVE ME SOME VERY USEFUL TRICKS FOR

GETTING OUT OF FOUR WHEEL SKIDS AND THEY SAID IF YOU TURN YOUR STEERING WHEEL
VERY VERY HARD OVER SO THAT YOU KNOW YOUVE GOT THE WHEELS SIDEWAYS WELL YOU CAN
 BRAKE ON THOSE AND THAT THAT THAT WILL STOP YOU IT WORKED DOWN THERE  BUT I
HAVENT BEEN ABLE TO MAKE IT WORK ANYWHERE ELSE WHY COULD YOU BRAKE ON THEM IF
THEY WERE AT RIGHT ANGLES TO THE OTHERS WELL THE IDEA IS THAT YOU GET CONTACT
WITH THE ROAD SURFACE YOU SEE THATS THE CAUSE THE BASIC CAUSE OF THE SKID YES
IF YOU GOT THEM ROUGHLY AT RIGHT ANGLES TO ONE ANOTHER ONE OR OTHER MUST BE
SOMETHING LIKE IN CONTACT YES WELL BOTH THE FRONT WHEELS EITHER THE FRONT ONES
OR THE BACK ONES AS WELL IS WHAT YOU MEAN YES YES YES YES AND OH THEY SAID IF
YOU GET INTO A VERY BAD REAR SKID AND WELL THERE WERE SOME HEAVY LORRIES BEHIND
YOU HEAVY LORRIES IN FRONT OF YOU AND THERE WAS OBVIOUSLY NO TIME TO CONTROL IT
WELL THEN YOU JUST LET GO OF THE STEERING WHEEL ALTOGETHER AND THE SELF RIGHTING
MECHANISM WOULD SPIN YOU ROUND IN ONE TURN AND THEN YOULL BE LEFT FACING IN
THE RIGHT WAY OF THE TRAFFIC SO THAT WHEN THE LORRIES BEHIND YOU OR IN FRONT
OF YOU DID GO INTO YOU THEY WOULD STRIKE YOU SORT OF YES FORE AND AFT YES FORE
AND AFT INSTEAD OF SIDEWAYS ON HOW USEFUL TO KNOW THE TROUBLE WITH ALL THESE
THINGS IS THAT ONE JUST HASNT TIME TO APPLY THEM IN THE SPLIT SECOND WHEN ONE
NEEDS THEM I DONT KNOW IF YOU GO ON SKID PANS OFTEN ENOUGH THEY BECOME SECOND
NATURE AND ITS FUNNY THOUGH ISNT IT I HAD TO DO AN EMERGENCY STOP THE OTHER
DAY AND WITHOUT THINKING ABOUT IT I PUMPED THE BRAKES YOU KNOW SO AS NOT TO LOSE
ADHESION YES YES AND YET ID NEVER THOUGHT ABOUT THIS CONSTANTLY ONE OUGHT TO
DO I SUPPOSE ID READ IT HERE AND THERE YES JUST SEEMED THE ONLY POSSIBLE THING
ONE COULD DO DID YOU APPLY THEM SLOWLY OR DID YOU PUMP THEM GOODNESS ME IM
FRIGHTENED I PUMPED THEM YOU PUMPED THEM YES WELL YES THERE ARE TWO WAYS OF
DOING IT IN FACT IF YOU DO IT SLOWLY IF YOU WANT TO GET ROUND A CORNER NO THIS
WAS A CAR IN FRONT OF ME HAD STOPPED SUDDENLY AND I WAS GOING FAST I SEE YES
YES AHA BUT IN ICE IF YOU WANT TO GET ROUND A CORNER WELL THEN YOU DO WHATS
CALLED CADENCE BRAKING AND GRADUAL INCREASE MMMM THAT IS SLOWLY PUTTING IT ON
AND SLOWLY TAKING IT OFF AGAIN NO THIS WAS KEEPING STRAIGHT AHEAD YOU SEE IT WAS
 JUST A MATTER OF NOT HITTING THE ONE IN FRONT OF ME A WOMAN DRIVER OF COURSE
GOT IN THE WRONG LANE SUDDENLY FOUND SHE WAS IN THE WRONG LANE IN FAST MOVING
TRAFFIC SO SHE STOPPED NOW WHY DO YOU SAY IT LIKE THAT WELL WITHOUT DO YOU FIND
AS A MALE DRIVER THAT WOMEN DRIVERS TEND TO BE WORSE THAN MEN NO I THINK ITS
THAT SOME WOMEN DRIVERS TEND TO GET IN A PANIC IN SITUATIONS AND DO SILLY THINGS
THEY VERY RARELY DO THINGS THAT WOULD CAUSE BAD ACCIDENTS BUT THEYRE ALWAYS
DOING ANNOYING THINGS OR ELSE THEY GO ALONG VERY SLOWLY AND WONT LET YOU GO
PAST BACAUSE THEY PROBABLY DONT REALIZE THATS WHAT YOU WANT TO DO WHEREAS VERY
 OFTEN A MAN IF HE ISNT GOING FAST ENOUGH WILL DO EVERYTHING HE POSSIBLY CAN TO
AID YOU TO OVERTAKE HIM DO YOU FIND THAT YES BUT NOT ALWAYS OF COURSE I DONT
BUT I HATE BEING BEHIND MIDDLE AGED DRIVERS YES YES WHO THINK WELL IM GOING
AT THIRTY MILES AN HOUR THIS IS IN A DERESTRICTED ROAD OF COURSE AND WHY ON
EARTH SHOULD YOU WANT TO GO ANY FASTER YES OR ON THE OTHER HAND YOU GET YOUNG
MEN AND THEYVE GOT THEIR GIRL FRIEND WITH THEM AND WELL THEYRE ONLY HALF
DRIVING I DONT KNOW WHICH IS WORSE AND YOU THINK WELL I DONT WANT TO DISTURB
THEM NO WELL THIS WAS IN DENHAM YOU KNOW DENHAM BUCKS YES VAGUELY WELL ITS THE
OXFORD ROAD AND THE WATFORD ROAD TURNS OFF TO THE RIGHT YOU SEE FOR ABOUT WELL
ITS A QUARTER OF A MILE OR HALF A MILE BEFOREHAND AND THE THREE LANES ARE
MARKED OXFORD OXFORD WATFORD YOU SEE AND EVENTUALLY JUST BEFORE THE ACTUAL
JUNCTION WHERE THERE ARE TRAFFIC LIGHTS THERES A BOLLARD SEPARATING OFF THE
PEOPLE GOING TO TURN RIGHT FROM THE REST AND OF COURSE THE PEOPLE WHORE GOING
TO TURN HAVE TO WAIT AT A RED TRAFFIC LIGHT AND EVERYBODY ELSE HAS A FILTER
STRAIGHT ON YOU SEE AND THIS WOMAN EITHER DECIDED THAT SHE WANTED TO TURN RIGHT
ALTHOUGH SHE WAS IN THE CORRECT OXFORD QUEUE OR ELSE SHE WAS CONFUSED BY THE
FACT THAT THERE WAS A RED LIGHT WITH A GREEN ARROW ANYHOW SHE SORT OF STOPPED
QUICKLY AND OF COURSE THE ONE BEHIND HER HAD TO STOP EVEN MORE QUICKLY AND I HAD
 TO STOP EVEN MORE QUICKLY YES YES AND IN FACT I DID JUST TOUCH THE CAR IN FRONT
 BUT BY THAT TIME HE WAS HE WAS JUST ABOUT TO GO ON AGAIN IT WASNT SERIOUS
ENOUGH TO STOP OR ANYTHING WAS THERE ANYONE BEHIND YOU YES INDEED BUT HE ALSO




OH DEAR I THINK HES GOT ANOTHER DEGREE ON TOP OF THAT IMAGINE NOT KNOWING
ANYTHING ABOUT YOUR FATHER WELL I MEAN HE NEVER SPEAKS TO YOU DOES HE
NO WHEN HE COMES IN YOU KNOW HE JUST SAYS HALLO IN FACT I THINK
I REALLY HAD ONE TWO SERIOUS CONVERSATIONS WITH HIM IN THE LAST THIS IS
CHRIS* FIONA* AND EILEEN* CHRIS* IS MY FLATMATE MAC* YOU KNOW WELL IM NOT
SURE WHAT HES GOT ON TOP OF THAT AND WHAT DOES HE DO NOW PERSONNEL MANAGER
OH SO HIS PSYCHOLOGY COMES IN THERE SO HE SAYS WELL SO I RECKON IT DOES
THIS IS WHAT I SAID TO YES IT DOES ACTUALLY ONE OF THE DIRECTORS OF STUDIES
THAT ONE OF THE THINGS I THOUGHT YOU COULD DO WITH PSYCHOLOGY AS AN UNMEDICAL
PSYCHOLOGY DEGREE NON MEDICAL PSYCHOLOGY DEGREE WAS SOMETHING LIKE PERSONNEL
MANAGER BUT WELL IT HELPS IN LABOUR RELATIONS REALLY YES SUPPOSE SO WHY
DID YOU GIVE UP AFTER YOU FAILED YOUR ENGINEERING BECAUSE I FAILED SO
MISERABLY DID YOU NEVER THINK OF DOING ANYTHING ELSE VERY MISERABLY YES VERY
MISERABLY ANYWAY WHEN I WAS TOLD TO CRAWL AROUND IN A SEWER UNDER PRINCES*
STREET I CAME TO THE CONCLUSION THAT I DIDNT REALLY FANCY CIVIL
ENGINEERING AFTER ALL OH AND WHAT YOU GOING TO DO OH I DONT KNOW YET IM GOING
TO DO AN MA I HOPE IN PSYCHOLOGY PHILOSOPHY NEXT YEARS THAT WHAT IS THAT IN
THE DEPARTMENT OF APPLIED PSYCHOLOGY WELL ITLL BE JUST IN THE ARTS
FACULTY AN AN ORDINARY DEGREE BECAUSE THEYVE GOT ONE NEAR THE GYM HAVENT
THEY DEPARTMENT OF PSYCHOLOGY HAVE THEY I DIDNT KNOW DONT KNOW WHERE THE
DEPARTMENT OF PSYCHOLOGY IS ITLL BE HOUSED IN THE NEW IN THE IN WHAT THEY
CALL THE TOWER YES EVENTUALLY PARDON ITS OFF DRUMMOND* STREET NOW ISNT IT
WHAT YOU MEAN THE DEPARTMENT OF PSYCHOLOGY PSYCHOLOGY WELL I THOUGHT IT WAS
YOU KNOW WHERE THE GYM IS YES BUT THATS THE BOTTOM OF DRUMMOND* STREET
JUST OFF DRUMMOND* STREET YOU MEAN THERE DO YOU ITS ON PLEASANCE* THATS RIGHT
ITS ON THERE IS IT YES ON THE LEFT AS YOURE GOING DOWN THATS AN AWFUL PLACE
DOWN THERE IS IT AN OLD BUILDING I THINK A KIND OF QUADRANGLE IN THE MIDDLE
SOMETHING LIKE THAT I HAVENT NOTICED IT HAVE I I HAVE OH YES I POINTED IT
OUT TO YOU OH YES I THINK I HAVE NO THE SORT OF THING THEY POINT OUT TO YOU WHEN
YOURE ON YOUR FRESHERS CONFERENCE ON THE GUIDED TOUR ITS MORE A CASE OF
WHICH PUB IS WHICH WHEN WERE HONOURED WITH DRUNKEN MEDICS WHAT DID YOU THINK
OF THE FRESHERS CONFERENCE A LONG TIME AGO LAST OCTOBER TIS YES
DID YOU FIND YOU MET MANY PEOPLE NO NO WE DIDNT
NO WE DIDNT IT WAS A WASTE OF TIME WE DIDNT MEET ANYONE DID YOU NOT
NO HARDLY ANYONE I MET HALF THE GIRLS IN SAINT LEONARDS* AT THE FRESHERS
CONFERENCE WHAT DID YOU ONE OF THE FIRST GIRLS I SPOKE TO IN THIS UNIVERSITY
WAS BETTY* JONES* WELL WE WERE QUEUEING UP TOGETHER TO HAVE ONE OF
THE NUMEROUS JABS AND THINGS YOU HAD TO HAVE AND OH YES OH I THOUGHT
THAT WAS A BIT BADLY ORGANIZED OH THAT PROBABLY WASNT THE FRESHERS
CONFERENCE THOUGH WELL IT WAS BECAUSE YOU HAD TO GO THERE YES YOU HAD
TO MISS SOME OH YES QUITE THAT AMERICAN CHAP WAS QUITE AMUSING YOU KNOW THE
CHAP WHO WAS TALKING ABOUT VARIOUS THINGS IN EDINBURGH I THINK WE MISSED THAT
WE GOT LOST GOING TO EVERY LECTURE WE WE WERE ONLY AT ONE LECTURE IN THE
WHOLE LOT AND WE GOT LOST EVERY DAY AND THERES A CHAPPIE FROM THE SRC
YOU KNOW WHATS HIS NAME DICK* WILSON* NO WELL HE WAS THE PRESIDENT OF THE THING
OR SECRETARY HARRY* BROWN* I THINK HIS NAME IS OH YES WELL I THINK WED HAVE
DERIVED MORE BENEFIT FROM IT IF WED GONE EXACTLY VERY VERY PROFOUND
STATEMENT IF WED GONE TO THE LECTURES INSTEAD OF JUST TO THE DANCES
I MEANT THE DANCES WERENT EVEN UP TO MUCH NO I FOUND EVERYONE STUCK TO
THEIR OLD SCHOOL FRIENDS YES AND OUR OLD SCHOOL FRIENDS WERENT WORTH
STICKING TO OH GOSH THEY CERTAINLY WERE NOT WEVE NEVER SEEN THEM WERE
DOING QUITE WELL THATS HOW I FEEL WELL FOR SOMEONE WHO HATES
HIS SCHOOL FRIENDS YOURE DOING PRETTY WELL OH I THOUGHT IT WAS QUITE GOOD
DID YOU GO TO THE DEBATE THEN YES THAT WAS WHAT WAS IT ON SOMETHING LIKE WE
COULDNT HEAR IT SEX IN SOCIETY WELL IT WAS TOO CROWDED IT GETS YOU IN THE RIGHT
SWING FOR UNIVERSITY DOESNT IT I MEAN THE ATTITUDE TO SEX IN THIS PLACE
IS SOMETHING WHICH AT LAST YOU CAN TALK ABOUT HAVING BEEN LET OUT OF SCHOOL
YOU KNOW BUT THE NOVELTY SOON WEARS OFF ITS NOT A THING TO BE TALKED
ABOUT CONTINUALLY FULL STOP THOUGHT ABOUT CONTINUALLY

I THINK WELL LEAVE IT AT THAT MAC* I DONT KNOW EVERYONE SEEMS TO BE DOING
QUITE WELL I DIDNT EVEN SEE THE ARTICLE IN GAMBIT* AT LEAST THE ISSUE
OF GAMBIT* ALL THE FUSS WAS MADE OF NO WHAT WAS IT ABOUT WAS IT THAT I MEAN
WAS IT NO IT WAS JUST ALL ABOUT IT JUST ITS PERFECTLY WELL I MEAN THERE
WAS ONE ABOUT A TEACHER AND ONE OF THE PUPILS DO YOU HAVE IT STILL YES I
HAVE ACTUALLY I HAVENT GOT IT ON ME I DONT CARRY IT ROUND OFF HAND
WELL THE FRONT COVERS JUST THIS NUDE WHICH I THOUGHT WAS RATHER GOOD
STATUE IT WAS ONLY A PHOTOGRAPH OF A STATUE THE ONE THAT WAS ON THE DAMN IT
ALL WAS IT YES ANYBODYD THINK THEYD GOT BRIGITTE* BARDOT* OR SOMETHING
WELL ACTUALLY I THOUGHT YOU KNOW WHEN THEY SAID IT WAS A PHOTOGRAPH
YES I THINK IT WAS A PHOTOGRAPH OF A PLASTER I THINK IT MUST HAVE BEEN A STATUE
AND THAT WAS THE ONE ON THE FRONT OF STUDENT TOO YES I THOUGHT WELL I
THOUGHT IN THE ACTUAL THING IT WAS A VERY WELL DESIGNED COVER BUT INSIDE
THE REPORT ON THE WRITERS CONFERENCE WELL I COULDNT MAKE HEAD OR TAIL OF
THAT YOU KNOW THAT WAS JUST DISJOINTED SENTENCES ANOTHER ONE ON THE FAIR YOU
KNOW IT WAS DIDNT ACTUALLY MENTION WAVERLEY BUT I THINK IT WAS SOMETHING
ABOUT THE WAVERLEY FAIR AND SOMEBODY WHO HAD A GIRL FRIEND YOU KNOW
HE WAS SUPPPOSED TO MEET HER GO AHEAD FORGOT AND SHE DIDNT TURN
UP SO HE GOES AROUND AND PICKS UP SOME WOMAN YOU KNOW AND WELL YOU
CAN GUESS THE REST AND THEN IT EVENTUALLY COMES ENDS WITH HIM
BEING SICK YOU KNOW JUST OUTSIDE I DONT REALLY GET THE POINT OF
THE STORY THAT WAS QUITE WELL WRITTEN BUT THE OTHER ONE WAS JUST
ABOUT THAT TEACHER AND ONE OF THE PUPILS JUST KISSING AS FAR AS I CAN SEE
OH HOW ABSOLUTELY IMMORAL YES THATS WHAT I THOUGHT I THINK THATS ALL THERE WAS
REALLY OH NO THERES ANOTHER ONE ABOUT A COUPLE MAKING LOVE BEHIND THE BUSHES
AND ANOTHER CHAP LOOKING ON AND THE CONVERSATION BETWEEN THEM ITS NOTHING
REALLY TO GET WORRIED ABOUT ITS JUST ITS NOT AS THEY SAY ANYTHING IMMORAL
OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT ITS JUST THAT I THINK THAT IT WASNT REALLY WORTH
READING I THINK ITS THE MERE FACT THAT THE MAGAZINE REVOLVED AROUND SEX WELL
AS IF IT WAS SOME NOVELTY WHICH PEOPLE HAD JUST DISCOVERED IN LIFE AND
WAS WORTH CONSTANTLY TALKING AND WRITING ABOUT WELL IT WAS I WOULDNT CALL
IT TRASHY BUT IT WASNT VERY WELL WRITTEN I DONT THINK IN GENERAL I THOROUGHLY
DISTINGUISHED MYSELF THE PHOTO WAS ON THE FRONT PAGE OF THE STUDENT
AND I WENT INTO THE REFECTORY AND SAT BESIDE THIS BOY WE KNEW AND HE
SAID WHAT DYOU THINK OF THE PHOTO ON THE FRONT OF THE STUDENT AND I SAID
WHAT IS IT YES ACTUALLY WHAT THATS WHAT MOST PEOPLE SAID YOU KNOW ON FRONT
OF THE OTHER THING WELL YOU SEE I WAS LOOKING AT IT UPSIDE DOWN AND I THOUGHT
IT WAS A MOUNTAIN NOT A LANDSCAPE PHOTOGRAPH AH WELL IT DID LOOK FUNNY
FROM UPSIDE DOWN I NEVER HAD ANY DOUBTS FROM ANY ANGLE OH DEAR
I FELT QUITE AWFUL IT WAS A FINE PUBLICITY STUNT IF NOTHING ELSE
YES I MEAN NEXT WELL I MEAN NEXT THATS MARVELLOUS BECAUSE EVERYBODYLL
BUY GAMBIT NOW YES JUST TO SEE WHAT IT WAS ABOUT I KNOW ITLL HAVE IMPROVED
NOW WELL THEYRE GETTING THIS AMERICAN WRITER AND SOME EXTRACT FROM THIS
BOOK NOW WHICH WAS PROHIBITED IN THIS COUNTRY AND IM NOT SURE WHETHER THATS
GOING THROUGH OR NOT YOU KNOW DAILY EXPRESS OF COURSE GOT HOLD OF IT
THEYLL BUILD IT UP TO BANNER HEADLINES DID THE SCOTS SCOTSMAN TOUCH IT OH
YES ONE IN THE DAY AFTER THE PUBLICATION OR SOMETHING THEN ONE ABOUT THE
SRC MEETING OF COURSE THE NEWS OF THE WORLD GOT IT AS WELL WAS IT NEWS OF
THE WORLD IT HAD THAT WAS AT THE BEGINNING ACTUALLY YOU KNOW JUST ABOUT THE
RUMPUS ABOUT THE COVER AND THE GENERAL LOW STANDARD OF THE WRITING BUT
THATS GOOD COMING FROM THE NEWS OF THE WORLD EXACTLY WE NEVER LOOK
PETERBOROUGH HAS A TEAM HAS IT AT SPORT PARDON WHAT WHAT DIVISION IS IT
IN THIRD ITS THE TOP STILL TOP ISNT IT YES BEEN TOP FOR ABOUT TWO MONTHS
WHY ISNT IT INTO THE SECOND OH JUST TWO MONTHS YES NOT THE END OF THE
SEASON YET THATS ONE REASON AND ITLL BE BOTTOM OF THE SECOND ALL NEXT SEASON
WILL IT NO NO NO THEN ITLL BE DOWN AT THE TOP OF THE FIRST THIRD AGAIN
ITLL STILL BE IN THE THIRD I SHOULD THINK THEN THE MIDDLE OF THE SECOND
YOU DONT HAVE MUCH FAITH IN YOUR HOME TEAM OH NO IT ALL DEPENDS
ON WHETHER THEY LOST OR WON THE LAST GAME YOU
KNOW I MEAN YOU KNOW WHENEVER PEOPLE ARE TALKING ABOUT

PETERBOROUGH THEY ALWAYS RELATE WHAT THEYLL DO YOU KNOW TO THE LAST
GAME IF THEY LOST IT YOU KNOW THEY SAY OH THATS AS FAR AS WERE EVER GOING
TO GET YOU KNOW IF THEY WIN OH FIRST DIVISION IN TWO SEASONS TIME FUNNY
HOW PEOPLE CHANGE IT IS ITS LIKE WHEN DUNDEE WON THE LEAGUE YES THE LEAGUE
LAST YEAR THE SCOTTISH LEAGUE THEY HAD A RUN OF WINS ABOUT DECEMBER
AND EVERYBODY THOUGHT OH THIS IS MARVELLOUS AND THEN THEY LOST OH WELL WE KNEW
IT WOULD END YOU KNOW BUT WHEN THEY HAD THIS RUN OF WINS THEY SAID ENGLISH
FOURTH DIVISION FOR DUNDEE NEXT YEAR BUT ALL THEIR HOPES WERE DASHED ACTUALLY
SCOTTISH FOOTBALL IS NOT UP TO MUCH IT ISNT IS IT EXCEPT FOR RANGERS AND
DUNDEE WEVE GOT THERE ARE ABOUT FOUR OR FIVE TEAMS REALLY AND THE REST
ARE JUST GATES OF TEN THOUSAND FIVE THOUSAND THE AVERAGE ENGLISH SECOND
DIVISION SIDE COULD BEAT THE AVERAGE ENGLISH SCOTTISH FIRST DIVISION SIDE
WITHOUT TOO MUCH BOTHER IN THE MIDDLE I MEAN PEOPLE LIKE STOKE AND DERBY
COUNTY WELL THEYRE REALLY EQUIVALENT TO FIRST DIVISION ARENT THEY THEYRE
JOLLY WELL NOT OH YES LOOK AT THE SIZE OF ENGLAND NOW THATS NOT FAIR ENGLAND
HAS LOADS MORE PEOPLE TO CHOOSE FROM WELL THEY CAN GET SCOTTISH PLAYERS
AND ENGLAND SCOTLAND CAN GET ENGLISH PLAYERS SO WHAT THE HELL DOES IT MATTER
IT MAKES A DIFFERENCE BECAUSE THE PAY ISNT THE SAME OH BUT THEY DONT
PLAY FOR THE PAY DO THEY NOT WHAT SCOTTISH PERSON DOESNT OH YES OF COURSE OH YOU
YOULL HAVE ALL OUR BEST SCOTTISH PEOPLE THEYLL ALL BE DOWN FOR MORE PAY
YOULL HAVE ALL THE BEST SCOTTISH ONES OH YES BUT WE THATS IT THAT
SHOWS THAT THEYRE NOT KEEN ON THE COUNTRY WELL DO YOU BLAME THEM THEY DONT
HAVE I HAVENT BEEN TO SEE HEARTS YET I MEANT TO SEE THAT WHEN I CAME TO
EDINBURGH OH DONT WASTE YOUR TIME WELL I SAW HEARTS VERSUS HEARTS USED
TO BE ALWAYS TOP OF THE FIRST DIVISION THATS ABOUT NINETEEN FIFTY FIVE
NO IT WAS WHEN I STARTED SUPPORTING THEM THAT WASNT VERY LONG AGO ABOUT TWO
YEARS AGO HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU BEEN TO SEE THEM I HAVENT SEEN THEM
YET OH YES ONCE PERTH THEY WERE PLAYING SAINT JOHNSTONE* THEY WON SAINT
JOHNSTONES* BEEN IN THE SECOND DIVISION FOR I DONT KNOW HOW LONG WELL IT
MUST HAVE BEEN LAST YEAR IT WAS YES IT WAS LAST MR MACDONALD* TOOK ME
THROUGH REMEMBER WITH NEIL* AND HE AND I WENT THROUGH AND THAT WAS THAT MUST
HAVE
BEEN LAST YEAR I THINK YOURE GETTING A BIT LOST IN THIS CONVERSATION ARE YOU OH
WELL IM JUST SAYING THAT I SAW HEARTS PLAY IN PERTH ILL NEED TO GO AND SEE THEM
BEFORE I GET LEAVE EDINBURGH THATS A NICE WAY TO PUT IT WHEN DOES THE
FOOTBALL SEASON END I DONT KNOW ABOUT MAY OR SOMETHING
WELL IT MAY BE LATER THIS YEAR IS THAT IN CHARITIES WEEK BECAUSE WEVE HAD
THREE MONTHS SNOW IT GOES RIGHT ON TO CHARITIES WEEK THEYRE GOING TO EXTEND THE
SEASON BY A WEEK WELL STILL THEYLL HAVE TO DO IT MORE THAN THAT BECAUSE
THEY CANT STAND THE PACE OF ALL THESE WHAT ABOUT ENGLAND MAN THERE THE DRAW
FOR THE FIFTH ROUND IS ABOUT TO TAKE PLACE THEYRE STILL THEY HAVENT
EVEN PLAYED THE THIRD ROUND YET OH THERE WAS A THIRD ROUND GAME PLAYED
TODAY LETS BE FAIR ARSENAL BEAT OXFORD UNITED FIVE ONE YES I MEAN PETERBOROUGH
HAVENT PLAYED THEIR THIRD ROUND TIE YET HAVE THEY THEY HAVENT PLAYED SINCE
BEFORE CHRISTMAS REALLY REMEMBER THE LAST TIME THEY PLAYED WAS ABOUT DECEMBER
FIFTEENTH SIXTEENTH GOODNESS ABOUT SIX WEEKS THATS NOT ALL THAT LONG AGO THATS
JANUARY JUST ISNT IT FIVE OR SIX WEEKS OH THAT IS A LONG TIME OH MY GOODNESS
SOON BE FEBRUARY GOSH EXAMS IN MARCH THIS MUST BE THE WORST WINTER WEVE
HAD FOR YEARS THOUGH CERTAINLY SPORTS NEVER BEEN HIT SO BADLY SINCE EIGHTEEN
NINETY ISNT IT THIS IS WORSE THAN THE NINETEEN FORTY SEVEN ONE IS IT
NOT AS COLD I DONT THINK NOT IN SCOTLAND I DONT THINK I MEAN ITS NOT
IN SCOTLAND WHEN YOU WERE HOME DID YOU HAVE MUCH SNOW I WASNT HOME HAVENT
BEEN HOME SINCE THE MIDDLE OF NOVEMBER WE HAD SOME SNOW THEN THOUGH YOU WERE
YOU HOME THEN YES I CANT REMEMBER MUCH ABOUT IT THERE WAS SNOW IN
PETERBOROUGH AT CHRISTMAS SO THEY SAY YES I SHOULD THINK SO WHAT A
MARVELLOUS MEMORY YOUVE GOT HOW DYOU MANAGE TO SWOT FOR EXAMS WELL ITS
ALL THESE WOMEN AT HOME THAT HE GOES CHASING AFTER HE CANT BE INTERESTED
TO SEE WHETHER THERES ANY SNOW AROUND OR NOT WHAT AN OUTLOOK ON LIFE
ISNT IT JUST WHO ARE YOU AFTER NOW MAC* WHOSE THE BEST ONE AT HOME THESE
DAYS ACTUALLY I WAS GOING AROUND WITH A FRENCH WOMAN OH YES WELL CLASSES

ABOVE THESE WOMEN OH FANCY FOREIGNERS WELL YOU SEE I HAVE TO LIKE HER
YOU SEE BECAUSE SHES INVITED ME OVER THIS SUMMER SO SOUNDS ALL VERY GOOD YES
WHAT ABOUT YOUR SISTER WHOS SHE KNOCKING AROUND WITH NOW WELL JOHN* BRETT* OH
GOD WELL HES A MALE MODEL IN LONDON IS HE REALLY HE WAS WORKING FOR
PERKINS* YES I KNOW HE WAS AN ENGINEER AND HE WENT TO LONDON FOR SOME TIME
AND HE GOT A JOB THERE AS A MALE MODEL WHAT FOR WOMENS MAGAZINES BETTER NOT
ASK WHAT HE MODELS HA I DONT KNOW PROBABLY SWIMSUITS NO I DONT KNOW
WHAT HE MODELS WELL AS LONG AS ITS NOT DIRTY MAGAZINES NO IT WAS QUITE
A COINCIDENCE THAT MACS* SISTER CAME UP WITH YOU KNOW AT THE BEGINNING
OF THE TERM THIS WAS MY YOUNGER SISTER HIS YOUNGER SISTER AND WHAT AGE IS SHE
PARDON WHAT AGE IS SHE FIFTEEN ALMOST SIXTEEN AND SHE WENT TO ONE OF THE DANCES
AT THE UNION WHEN I WENT HOME IN NOVEMBER I HAPPENED TO SEE HER YOU SEE SO I
SAID OH DID YOU HAVE A GOOD TIME UP IN EDINBURGH AND SHE SAID YES AND I SAID
GO TO ANY OF THE DANCES AND SHE SAID YES WHERE DID YOU GO OH THE UNION WHO DID
YOU DANCE WITH SHE SAID OH SOME ARCHITECT CHAP SMALLISH AND SO ON AND SO ON
THE CHAP SHE DANCED WITH WAS A VERY GOOD FRIEND OF MINE WAS QUITE A
COINCIDENCE WELL MY OTHER SISTER CAME UP ALSO SHES TWENTY AND SHE DANCED
WITH A CHAP WHOS BEEN A STUDENT FOR TWENTY YEARS HE MUST BE WHATS HE I DONT
KNOW HES BEEN HES BEEN AT THE UNIVERSITIES ALL OVER THE PLACE FOR TWENTY
YEARS IT MUST BE QUITE A NICE WAY OF PASSING THE TIME NOT MUCH RESPOSIBILITY
OH DONT KID YOURSELF HES ABOUT THIRTY EIGHT NOW THIRTY SEVEN THIRTY EIGHT
HAVE I EVER SEEN YOUR ELDER SISTER DONT KNOW YOU KEEP HER PRETTY WELL
HIDDEN ANYHOW SHES IN LONDON JUST NOW OH I SEE WELL THATS AS
GOOD A REASON AS ANY FOR KEEPING HER WHAT DOES SHE DO NURSE NURSING ANOTHER
NURSE OH WELL THATS WELL COME TO ANY CONCLUSIONS ON THIS YES FIFTY SIX ANDS
OH WE MAC* AND I PLAYED A GAME WHEN WE WERE WAITING FOR ANNE* TO COME WHO
EVENTUALLY DIDNT COME THIS WAS TO SEE HOW GOOD WE WERE AT TELLING WHAT CARDS
WOULD BE TURNED UP HOW DID IT WORK OUT MAC* GOT IN TWO RUNS THROUGH THE PACK
HE PREDICTED FIVE CARDS AND MISSED TWO CARDS I MEAN HE CALLED THE CARD AND
IT WAS THE NEXT ONE I MEAN ONE RUN THROUGH THE PACK I ONLY GOT ONE SO WE
OBVIOUSLY YOU OBVIOUSLY CATCH THE PSYCHIC OR SOMETHING THATS IT YES
YES ITS A FASCINATING PROBLEM I MEAN SOME PEOPLE CAN DO THIS ARE YOU LUCKY AT
CARDS THEN YES DYOU WANT TO PLAY THIS HAND NO THANKS I DONT KNOW HOW MUCH I
STARTED WITH ABOUT SIXPENCE OR SO WELL IT WASNT REALLY TO SEE WHETHER WE
WERE LUCKY AT CARDS IT WAS TO SEE WHETHER EITHER OF US WAS TELEPATHIC I
RECKON WE BOTH HAVE TO BE DONT YOU TO GET ANYWHERE YES WORKING ON THE SAME
WAVELENGTH AND ALL THAT JAZZ IVE NEVER TRIED ANYTHING LIKE THAT
RIGHT GUESS WE WONT BE DOING ANY HOMEWORK WHEN WE GO HOME
AH I FEEL RATHER TIRED WHAT SHALL WE TALK ABOUT IM FEELING
VERY SLEEPY TODAY WELL HOW IS YOUR CAR GOING OH WELL THERES
REALLY NO IMPROVEMENT YOU KNOW YOU KNOW I TOOK IT TO THE GARAGE AND THEY SAID
THAT THE BATTERY WAS ALL RIGHT AND THE PLUGS ARE ALL RIGHT AND THEYD
ALTERED THE SPARKING ITS STILL NOT STARTING PROPERLY ISNT IT
NO NO I HAVE TO TURN THE HANDLE YOU USE THE HANDLE EVERY MORNING DO YOU
OH EVERY MORNING WELL NOT EVERY MORNING BECAUSE I DONT TAKE IT OUT EVERY
MORNING NO NO YOU HAVE TO USE YOU HAVE A HANDLE OH YES IVE GOT
A HANDLE BUT OF COURSE I HAD TO HAVE ONE WHILST MY BATTERY WAS PLAYING
UP LIKE YOURS DID OF COURSE YOU USE YOUR CAR QUITE A BIT DONT YOU HOW
MANY MILES A YEAR DO YOU DO OH LETS SEE IVE DONE THIRTY ONE THOUSAND
NOW IN HOW MANY YEARS FOUR AND HALF FOUR AND HALF YEARS THATS PRETTY
GOOD GOING ISNT IT THATS SEVEN THOUSAND A YEAR YES ITS ABOUT AVERAGE HOW MANY
MUCH DO YOU DO WELL WE DONT DO BETWEEN TWO AND THREE YOU SEE THIS IS TERRIBLE
WE ONLY USE IT FOR SHOPPING TWO OR THREE A YEAR YES WE DONT GO ANYWHERE WITH
IT REALLY MOST OF MINE IS DONE IN THE SUMMER OF COURSE I DONT DO VERY MUCH IN
THE WINTER ITS USUALLY IN THE GARAGE BETWEEN SUNDAY AND THURSDAY IN WINTER
YOU THINKING OF CHANGING YOURS ARE YOU I DONT KNOW I HAVE IT IN MIND ALL THE
TIME BUT I DONT SUPPOSE I SHALL DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT WHILE ITS GOING AS IT IS
ITS NOT GOING BADLY NOW SINCE I GOT THE LAST NEW BATTERY ITS ITS DOING
REASONABLY WELL HOW MANY BATTERIES HAVE YOU HAD THIS IS THE THIRD NOW YES
THREE IN FOUR YEARS ITS NOT VERY GOOD YES FOUR YEARS IS THAT ALL YOU HAD

FOUR AND HALF FOUR AND HALF YEARS YES YES OF COURSE OURS IS EIGHT
YES WILL BE EIGHT THIS
YEAR YOU SEE YES ITS ALL RIGHT EXCEPT IT WONT START YOU SEE ONCE IT
STARTS GOING ITS ALL RIGHT I THINK THIS IS A HILLMAN THING I REALLY DO
I WAS I WAS HEARING THE OTHER DAY OF TWO FRIENDS OF MINE AT THE CRICKET CLUB WHO
JUST BOUGHT A NEW HILLMAN IMP THE LITTLE ONE AND APPARENTLY THEY CANT
EVEN START THAT AND ITS BRAND NEW GOOD GRACIOUS YES YOU KNOW THEYRE
HAVING TROUBLE STARTING IT THEYRE SAID TO BE GOOD CARS
ARENT THEY YES MEANT TO BE I READ IVE ONLY READ ONE ACCOUNT OF THEM I THINK
BUT THIS WAS IN GLOWING TERMS IT REALLY PRAISED THEM UP TO THE SKIES YOU
READ THAT THING IN WHICH ABOUT PETROL NO BUT SU* WAS TELLING ME ABOUT IT THIS
MORNING IT AMOUNTS TO IT DOESNT REALLY MATTER WHAT YOU BUY AND USE SO LONG
AS IT DOESNT MAKE THE ENGINE PINK NO SO LONG AS IT IS THE RIGHT GRADE
YES BUT YOU CAN ONLY TELL THE RIGHT GRADE YOU CAN USE A LOW GRADE
IF YOUR ENGINE DOESNT KNOCK OH YES BUT I ONCE TRIED THIS DID YOU
I TRIED USING THE OH ORDINARY GRADE PETROL IT DID KNOCK DID IT YES
IT DID YES IT SOUNDED AS THOUGH IT WAS GOING TO FALL OUT
ACTUALLY IT JUST DIDNT PINK IT IT GROUND AND SHOUTED YES YES IT DIDNT
LIKE IT AT ALL WELL I DONT EXPECT WE SHALL USE OURS ANY MORE
YOU WONT YOU WOULDNT EVER THINK OF TAKING IT ON HOLIDAY WOULD YOU
WELL NOT AT THE MOMENT BECAUSE OF THINGS BEGINNING TO GO WRONG NO
I THINK ITS RATHER A LIABILITY ID RATHER HIRE ONE I THINK IF I NEEDED A CAR
YES ON HOLIDAY I MEAN ON THE CONTINENT ANYWAY IN THIS COUNTRY
YES BUT WHEN YOU HAVE TO SHIP IT AND PLACES ITS AN AWFUL NUISANCE
YES IT LOOKS AS THOUGH IM GOING TO HAVE TO TAKE SU* UP IN MY CAR ON
HOLIDAY THIS YEAR I DONT KNOW THOUGH NO WAIT A MINUTE I WAS GOING TO
SHE DECIDED SHE WASNT GOING ON THIS CONTINENTAL HOLIDAY THIS YEAR OH
YES YES SHES SHE WAS ALL FOR HAVING A HOLIDAY WITH ME ON THE CONTINENT
OR IN IRELAND OR SOMEWHERE LIKE THAT AH YES IRELAND IS RATHER NICE ISNT IT
THERES SOME LOVELY OF COURSE YOU CAN GO TO THE ISLE OF MAN NICE PLACE
ISLE OF MAN NICE PLACE IS IT OH VERY NICE I DONT FANCY THE ISLE OF MAN
SOMEHOW NO I WOULDNT GO THERE MYSELF BUT ID RATHER HAVE SOMEWHERE LARGER
TO TRAVEL ABOUT IN I MEAN TO TRAVEL IN THE ISLE OF MAN WELL GO ROUND SCOTLAND
SCOTLAND OH I THOUGHT I THOUGHT OF GOING UP TO YORKSHIRE ACTUALLY
YES YES SHOWING HER MY SORT OF HAUNTS WHICH SHES NEVER SEEN
YES YES I  MIGHT DO THAT OR I MIGHT GO TO IRELAND YES WELL THATS RATHER NICE ID
LIKE TO DO THAT IN A CAR AS I SAY AS LONG AS ONE KEEPS WITHIN THIS
COUNTRY ITS ITS NOT TOO BAD IF YOU
BREAK DOWN NO THATS RIGHT THERES ALWAYS SOMEBODY TO BRING YOU HOME
NO ITS I SHOULD I SHOULD BE VERY UNHAPPY I THINK ON THE CONTINENT IN
MY CAR I SHOULD BE REALLY WORRIED THE WHOLE TIME IN CASE IT BROKE
DOWN BECAUSE ITS SUCH SUCH A NUISANCE TRYING TO GET THE THINGS
FIXED UP AND SPARE PARTS IF IT HAPPENED TO BE SOMETHING SLIGHTLY ODD
AH YES
ITD BE VERY DIFFICULT TO GET SPARE PARTS YES OF COURSE YOU CAN TAKE A
PACK WITH YOU CANT YOU OR IT PROBABLY WOULDNT HAVE WHAT YOU WANTED IN THEM
NO I MEAN YOU CANT DO ANYTHING ABOUT A BROKEN VALVE OR SOMETHING OF THIS
KIND YOU KNOW AND ITS JUST THIS SORT OF THING THATS LIABLE TO HAPPEN
YES YES IN THESE CIRCUMSTANCES OF COURSE YOUVE NOT HAD VERY MUCH GO WRONG
WITH YOURS HAVE YOU NO TOUCH WOOD I JUST HAD THAT DYNAMO WENT WRONG ON THE
ONE SATURDAY NIGHT WHICH WAS VERY AWKWARD BUT I GOT OUT OF THAT ALL RIGHT
NO IVE HAD NOTHING APART FROM THAT ITS A HOLLIBLY HELPLESS FEELING A WHAT
SORRY HORRIBLY HELPLESS FEELING WHEN IT DOES BREAK DOWN YES PARTICULARLY
AT AN AWKWARD TIME LIKE YOU KNOW LATE ON A SATURDAY NIGHT WHEN NO GARAGES
ARE OPEN OH YES ANYWHERE NEAR WHERE YOU ARE AT ANY RATE YES I RANG UP THE
AA OFFICE ALL NIGHT SERVICE TWENTY FOUR HOUR SERVICE THERE WAS NOBODY THERE
NO ANSWER AND UH YOU FEEL COMPLETELY ISOLATED AT A LOSS YES YES OH YES I THINK
THE TRAIN SERVICE IS REALLY BETTER FOR THESE THINGS HOW DID YOU GET ON AT THE
THEATRE THE OTHER NIGHT DID YOU ENJOY IT OH JOLLY GOOD YES IT WAS VERY GOOD
I READ THE REVIEWS IN THE PAPER AND THEY DIDNT SEEM TO BE VERY ENTHUSIASTIC

I MUST SAY NO WELL I DONT I DONT THINK IT WAS A TERRIBLY GOOD PRODUCTION
REALLY AND CERTAINLY SOME OF THE SINGERS WERE HAVING TROUBLE GETTING
THEIR BREATHS BUT YOU KNOW ITS ITS A JOLLY ROMP AND SU* ENJOYED THE FUNNY
BITS OF IT YES WHAT WAS IT WHAT WAS IT WAS THE GONDOLIERS THE GONDOLIERS
YES YOUD SEEN IT BEFORE HAD YOU I HAD YES BUT YEARS AND YEARS AGO I HAVENT
SEEN IT RECENTLY BUT SU* HAD NEVER SEEN IT BEFORE SO WE BOTH ENJOYED IT
ENORMOUSLY AND WE HAD A
GOOD OLD MEAL BEFOREHAND AND WE JUST WALKED ACROSS THE ROAD TO THE THEATRE
IN TIME TO GET INTO OUR SEATS THE CURTAINS GOING UP AND THIS WAS VERY
FINE YES THATS ALL RIGHT YES JOLLY GOOD YES YES
THE ONLY TROUBLE ABOUT IT WAS THAT WE WERE IN THE UPPER CIRCLE AND THERE
WASNT ANY ROOM FOR YOUR LEGS MY LEGS WERE TERRIBLE BY THE TIME THE
INTERVAL CAME YOU WERENT IN THE FRONT ROW YOU CAN ALWAYS PUT THEM OVER THE RAIL
YOU SEE YES I KNOW NO WE WERENT WE WERE IN THE SECOND ROW AND THIS WAS SAD
ITS A PITY ISNT IT YES THE PEOPLE IN THE FRONT ROW WOULD LEAN THEIR HEADS
FORWARD SO AS TO SEE THE WHOLE STAGE AND OF COURSE THIS MEANT
DODGING ABOUT A BIT BETWEEN THEM YES DO YOU THINK PEOPLE WERE VERY MUCH SMALLER
WHEN THEY BUILT THESE THEATRES THEATRES I SUPPOSE THEY MUST HAVE BEEN I DONT
KNOW VERY SHORT LEGGED CHAPS THEY MUSTVE BEEN WALKING ABOUT
WELL PERHAPS THEY WERE YES I THINK WERE GETTING A BIT BIGGER AS YEARS
GO ON CERTAINLY IT WAS MOST UNCOMFORTABLE FOR ME SU* DIDNT SEEM TO SUFFER SO
MUCH AND SHES TALL SHES GOT LONG LEGS BUT SHE DIDNT SEEM TO SUFFER SO MUCH
AT THE OLD VIC YOU KNOW THEYVE THEYVE DONE IT UP AND THEYVE RESEATED
IT I THINK ANYWAY THERES PLENTY OF ROOM NOW PLENTY OF ROOM FOR YOUR LEGS
PLENTY OF ROOM FOR YOUR LEGS YES WHEREVER HAVE YOU BEEN IN CHEAP SEATS
NO NO NO IM WONDERING IF THERE ISNT A DIFFERENCE WELL I I SUPPOSE IN THE
UPPER CIRCLE PERHAPS YES BUT I ALL THE OTHER PARTS WE HAVE BEEN IN THE
IN THE DRESS CIRCLE WEVE BEEN IN THE DRESS CIRCLE WELL THATS NOT A CHEAP SEAT
NO NO I DIDNT MEAN THAT THOUGH WELL I THINK ALL THE WAY DOWNSTAIRS YOU KNOW
AND THE PIT THERES THE PIT AND THE STALLS YES I THINK THEYRE ALL THE SAME
ARE THEY NOW THERES PLENTY OF ROOM MIND YOU SOME OF THE SEATS HAVE GOT SOME
JOLLY GOOD PILLARS ON FRONT OF THEM YOU CANT SEE ANYTHING BUT YOU CAN HEAR
QUITE WELL
OH I SUPPOSE THERES NO WAY OF DOING AWAY WITH THOSE PILLARS AT THE OLD VIC
IS THERE NOT IF YOU WANT THE THEATRE TO GO ON YOU CANT SORT OF BUTTRESS
IT FROM NO INSIDE OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT NO WE SAW UNCLE VANYA* OH
IT WAS VERY GOOD WAS IT BEAUTIFUL PRODUCTION I DONT KNOW WHAT IS IT ABOUT
CHEKOV* YOU LIKE CHEKOV* DONT YOU NO I DONT YOU DONT I THOUGHT YOU DID
NO I CANT GET ON WITH IT VERY WELL WHO WAS IT LIKES CHEKOV* I THOUGHT YOU
SAID THE OTHER DAY YOU LIKED CHEKOV* NO I THINK OLIVE* LIKES CHEKOV*
OLIVE* LIKES CHEKOV* YES YES DENNIS* LIKES IT OF COURSE DOES HE YES
YES DO YOU MEAN I WONDER IF IT MEANS YOURE A SPECIAL SORT OF PERSON
IF YOU LIKE CHEKOV* BECAUSE YOU SEE SOMETHING THERE WHICH IN CHEKOV* WHICH
REMINDS YOU OF YOURSELF THE INDOLENCE AND THE INEFFECTUAL CHARACTERS ON
THE STAGE I DONT KNOW I I HAVE A NASTY FEELING THAT ITS SLIGHTLY THE WAY ROUND
THAT YOURE A WELL BALANCED NORMAL PERSON IF YOU ENJOY CHEKOV* AND IF YOU
DONT THERES SOMETHING WRONG WITH YOU YES I VERY MUCH REGRET NOT ENJOYING IT
BECAUSE CLEARLY ONE OUGHT TO BUT I ALWAYS THINK ITS STRANGE THAT IT GOES
DOWN SO WELL IN RUSSIA I MEAN THAT THEY PLAY UNCLE VANYA* SO OFTEN
OR ANY OTHER CHEKOV* PLAY I MEAN ITS IN THE REPERTOIRE ITS A BIT ODD
IS IT THAT THIS ATTITUDE TO LIFE WOULD HAVE BEEN AGAINST COMMUNIST
YES WITH THE MYSTICS CARNOVITES* SORT OF MENTALITY GOING ON ITS A BIT PECULIAR
AND YET THEY DO WONDERFUL PRODUCTIONS OF IT APPARENTLY DO THEY
THERES ONE THING ABOUT THE OLD VIC NOW THEY GIVE YOU SOME VERY GOOD
PROGRAMMES IT COSTS YOU ONE AND SIX BUT THEY GIVE YOU A LITTLE BIT YOU
KNOW THE ACTUAL CAST AND THEN THEY GIVE YOU A LITTLE BOOKLET ABOUT THE
PLAY WHICH IS NICELY PRINTED AND WORTH THE ONE AND SIX
ONE AND SIX BECAUSE WHEN SU* WENT TO STRATFORD TO SEE THE THREE HISTORICAL
PLAYS ONE AFTER THE OTHER THEY HAD A MAGNIFICENT PROGRAMME THERE
A GREAT BIG SORT OF JUBILEE PROGRAMME REALLY I SUPPOSE BUT THEY COST TWO

AND SIX A TIME BUT TWO AND SIX FOR WHAT THEY WERE THEY WERENT BAD
OF COURSE THEY OUGHT TO BE FREE OUGHTNT THEY I MEAN LIKE AT THE MERMAID THEY
GIVE YOU A FREE PROGRAMME AS WELL ON EVERY SEAT
I CERTAINLY THINK AN ORDINARY PROGRAMME OUGHT TO BE FREE THAT JUST GIVES
YOU THE CAST AND THE PRODUCER AND ONE THING AND ANOTHER OH YES THESE
RATHER COLOURFUL ONES PERHAPS WITH HISTORY AND PRODUCTIONS AND SO FORTH IN
THEM I DONT KNOW ABOUT THAT SO MUCH YOU CERTAINLY OUGHT TO GET A CAST
LIST FREE AT LEAST YES YES WHO WAS IN THE CAST
WELL NOW THERES UNCLE VANYA* WAS MICHAEL* REDGRAVE* THE DOCTOR WAS LAURENCE*
OLIVIER* HE WAS VERY GOOD YOU KNOW I DONT LIKE HIM BUT HES SUCH A GOOD ACTOR
I MEAN HES VERY SYMPATHETIC IN THIS EVERYBODY WAS SYMPATHETIC
WERE THEY YES AND THEN THE DAUGHTER THE POOR DAUGHTER WAS JOAN*
PLOWRIGHT* OH YES VERY POIGNANT AND PATHETIC AND THEN THE WIFE OF
THE PROFESSOR THE BEAUTY THE RADIANT CREATURE WAS ROSEMARY* HARRIS*
AND SHE DID LOOK BEAUTIFUL DID SHE SAW HER IN HAMLET* WHERE SHE WAS OPHELIA* AND
THERE SHE HAD TO BE RATHER RAKISH BUT IN THIS SHE WAS ABSOLUTELY LOVELY AND
ISNT THERE A NASTY PERSON IN THIS PLAY IN THE CHERRY ORCHARD THERES
A NASTY CHAP ISNT THERE WHO BUYS IT ALL UP IN THE END
YES YES NO THERE ISNT A NASTY PERSON THERES THE PROFESSOR YOU SEE
MAX* ADRIAN* BUT HES NOT NASTY MAX* UNCLE VANYA* TRIES TO SHOOT HIM AND
IN FACT IN THE FIRST VERSION OF THE PLAY HE DID SUCCEED OH REALLY BUT
THIS WAS CHANGED OH CHEKOV* CHANGED IT CHEKOV* CHANGED IT TO
UNDER PRESSURE OR I THINK SO YES AND SO HE MISSES NOW TWICE REALLY MUCH MORE
SATISFACTORY ITS INCONCEIVABLE THAT ANYBODY REALLY SHOULD SHOOT AT
SOMEBODY RATHER THAN THEMSELVES IN A CHEKOV* PLAY AND GET SHOT I MEAN THEY
SHOOT THEMSELVES YES THATS TRUE YES THERES A SORT OF AURA OF INEFFICIENCY
IN THEM INDOLENCE AS YOU SAY YES YES WELL NOW HOW MUCHVE WE GOT ON THAT TAPE
GOT A FAIR AMOUNT I THINK FAIR AMOUNT WE WE COULD TAKE A BIT MORE WE MIGHT
FILL THIS MIGHTNT WE FILL THE LITTLE ONE FILL THE LITTLE ONE YES YES IT WONT BE
ON THE LITTLE ONE OF COURSE WILL IT NO ITLL HAVE TO BE
WOUND BACK AND THEN SHELL HAVE TO MAKE HER OWN COPY WONT SHE
YES YES BUT WE MAY AS WELL GIVE HER ONE SMALL SPOOLS WORTH MIGHTNT WE
YES ITLL BE ABOUT WHAT OH TEN MINUTES I SUPPOSE WE MUST HAVE DONE
TEN MINUTES AS MUCH AS THAT THATS QUITE A LOT OF ANALYSIS ISNT IT
YES WHAT CAN WE TALK ABOUT LOOK I LIKE THIS RUSSIAN BOOK YOUVE SEEN THIS
HAVENT YOU YES I THINK ITS VERY GOOD
INDEED IM JUST READING THAT BIT I THINK ITS THE
BIT YOU WERE TALKING ABOUT OH ABOUT THE JUNCTION OF THE CLAUSE
WELL INTERPENETRATION OF CONSONANTS ARTICULATIONS YES YES IVE NOT SEEN THAT
BEFORE NO I THINK ITS I THINK ITS A BIT PHONEY ACTUALLY IT IS ITS LOGICALLY
VERY NICE BUT I THINK ITS A BIT PHONEY IN SOME WAYS
YES YES BUT ITS A VERY GOOD TEACHING PROCEDURE IT SEEMS TO ME ITS VERY
CLEAR AND NICE VERY VERY GOOD YES YES VERY GOOD INDEED I THINK IN GENERAL IN
THE SOUND PART OF IT THE PART THATS ON SOUNDS YES I THINK HE OVEREMPHASISES
THE ARTICULATORY IN THE ADVICE COLUMN SO TO SPEAK OH YES
YES ABOUT HOW HOW YOU MUST KEEP YOUR TONGUE A BIT FLATTER FOR AND IN
WELL YES AND THATS THATS EXTRAORDINARY BECAUSE AT THE BEGINNING HE PLAYS
A LOT PAYS A LOT OF ATTENTION TO LISTENING DOESNT HE AND SAYS HOW
IMPORTANT THIS IS IN THE INTRODUCTION YES IN EAR TRAINING AND THAT SORT OF
THING YES AND YET HE DOESNT GIVE ANY EXERCISES IN THAT AT ALL
DOESNT HE OH I HAVENT GOT TO THE EXERCISES YET NO DOESNT HE GIVE
ANY SORT OF WELL I SUPPOSE HE COULDNT GIVE ANY AUDITORY
WELL ARTICULATORY EXERCISES YES HE DOES BUT NOT SO WITH NONSENSE WORDS
OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT NO HE MIGHT GIVE A A RATHER STRANGE CHOICE OF MATERIAL
ACTUALLY MY LOVE IS LIKE A RED RED ROSE OH VERY VERY SCOTTISH PEACE ON EARTH
BY JO* WALLIS* WELL THAT YOUD EXPECT AND MEET MEET THE PARKER OF COURSE THEYVE
TAKEN OH YES THATS RIGHT HE MENTIONS THAT AT THE BEGINNING HAVE THEY GOT
ANY OF THE LINGUAPHONE ENGLISH COURSE
YES THEYVE GOT SOME WELL NOT NOT THEY QUOTE FROM IT FROM TIME TO TIME I
DONT THINK THEY ACTUALLY USE ANY NO I THOUGHT IT WAS VERY GOOD

IT SEEMS TO ME A VERY GOOD BOOK INDEED I MEAN
ITS A BIT BIG OF COURSE IT SEEMS TO ME THAT TEACHERS HAVE TO LEARN A
GREAT DEAL OF THEORY WITH THE YES WELL HE DID EMPHASISE
THIS A BIT I THOUGHT YES IN THE INTRODUCTION TOO I THINK THE
I THINK THE INTONATION AND THE OH I DONT KNOW THE INTONATION
SEEMS TO BE A BIT DISPROPORTIONATE IT DOES DOESNT
IT I HAVENT READ IT YET BUT THERE SEEMS TO BE AN AWFUL LOT OF IT
WELL I DONT THINK HE ACTUALLY SAYS A LOT NO I DONT KNOW MINOR
DETAIL WHAT WHATS INTERESTING ARE THE COMPARISONS I THINK BETWEEN RUSSIAN
AND ENGLISH YES IM SURPRISED TOO THAT THE WHOLE QUESTION OF WEAK
FORMS COMES UP SO LATE ITS HIDDEN AWAY WELL THAT SEEMED TO COME IN THE
INTONATION PART YES ITS HIDDEN AWAY IN THE MIDDLE OF THE INTONATION YES AND
AS A MATTER OF FACT IN SOME OF HIS EXAMPLES THATS THE THING IM WRITING TO HIM
ABOUT I THINK HE USES A LOT OF STRONG FORMS FOR IS IN PARTICULAR OH
WHERE HE OUGHT NOT TO IN THE SAME SENTENCE HELL USE WEAK FORMS WHERE AND IN THE
SAME SENTENCE HELL HAVE IS DO YOU THINK HE WROTE THE ENGLISH HIMSELF
WELL ITS EXTREMELY GOOD EXTREMELY GOOD ITS EXTREMELY GOOD YES YES
I THINK HE DID HE HANDLES THE LANGUAGE EXTREMELY WELL
I THINK HE DID BECAUSE I THINK A NATIVE WOULD PERHAPS SOMETIMES BE A LITTLE
LESS COLLOQUIAL A LITTLE LESS EASY TO READ
YES THERE WERE ONE OR TWO PLACES I NOTICED WHERE IT WAS A BIT ROUGH BUT
ON THE WHOLE IT WAS VERY GOOD INDEED VERY GOOD
YES THERE ARE ONE OR TWO THINGS I MEAN SOME THINGS ARE SET OUT
BEAUTIFULLY LIKE THE SYLLABLE FORMATIONS YES YES YES AND THAT SORT OF
THING AND HE PAYS A LOT OF ATTENTION TO THE LENGTH OF SOUNDS AND THEN
ALSO HE GIVES A LOT OF RULES FOR LEARNING READING
HOW DO YOU MEAN SPELLING RULES OH I SEE THEY ARE VERY COMPLICATED IT SEEMS TO
ME YES YES WELL THEY HAVE TO BE WELL NATURALLY AND IF YOU READ ALL
THIS AND LEARN ALL THIS YOUR WORKS REALLY CUT OUT YES IT SEEMS TO ME
THAT THIS MUST BE A VERY LONG COURSE MUSTNT IT TO GET THROUGH AND ASSIMILATE
ALL THAT BOOK OH YES OH YES OH YES SEVERAL HUNDRED HOURS I SHOULD THINK
BECAUSE ITS ODD YOU KNOW ISNT IT THAT I SHOULDVE THOUGHT AGAIN THAT A
RUSSIAN COURSE OF ENGLISH WOULD BE STRICTLY PRACTICAL YES AND YET THERE ARE
ONE OR TWO THEORETICAL THINGS IN THIS WHICH ARE REALLY NOT NECESSARY
I MEAN IN FACT HE NEEDNTVE DONE ALL THIS I DONT THINK NO I DONT THINK HE NEED
ITS INTERESTING BUT AND I THINK HIS CLASSIFICATION IS A RATHER THEORETICAL ONE
TOO YES I DONT THINK ITS A TERRIBLY PRACTICAL ONE NO I THINK HE COULDVE
COMPARED THE RUSSIAN AND THE ENGLISH VOWELS FOR INSTANCE MORE SATISFACTORILY
WITH A DIFFERENT CLASSIFICATION YES AND HE DOES STICK TO ONE OR TWO POINTS I
I MEAN WHEN HES TALKING ABOUT ENGLISH NUMBER TEN HE REFUSES TO USE A
COMPARISON WITH A RUSSIAN RUSSIAN YES WHERE HE MIGHT WELL
WELL HE STILL TAKES IT AS THE BACK ONE YES YES SOUND DOESNT HE
THE SEMI BACK ONE YES I WAS DISAPPOINTED ABOUT THAT I THOUGHT COUNTING
AS A RAISED VERSION OF THE OPEN VOWEL TOO WAS SILLY YES YES YES
IF YOURE GOING TO HAVE RAISED AND LOWERED VERSIONS ANYWAY WHICH I DONT
PARTICULARLY HOLD WITH ITS ODD HIS LIST OF BOOKS ISNT IT THE REFERENCES HES
GOT YES ONLY REALLY STANNARD* ALLEN* OF MODERN BOOKS ON INTONATION YES
AND YET HE MUST KNOW ABOUT OTHER BOOKS HE MUST KNOW SURELY
HE MUST BECAUSE APPARENTLY HES READ MY BOOKS AND ALSO
HAS HE OH BUT YOURS DIDNT COME OUT UNTIL AFTER IT WAS PUBLISHED
OH NO NO BUT HE TOLD MRS OH YES WHATS HER NAME THAT HED READ MY
BOOK AND ALSO QUIRKS* USE OF ENGLISH BOOK SO IT ISNT THAT THEY DONT
SEE THESE BOOKS AND YET THEY DONT SEEM TO
NO OH NO YOUD HAVE THOUGHT HED SEEN KINGDON* I DONT KNOW WHETHER HES
SEEN IS JASSEM* IN THERE AS A REFERENCE NO NO BUT I THOUGHT HIS
INTONATION I HAVENT LOOKED AT HIS INTONATION MARKING VERY MUCH BUT SOME
OF HIS INTONATION MARKING LOOKED A BIT LIKE JASSEMS* YES YES I THINK ITS QUITE
A LOT OF IT IS DERIVATIVE THATS WHY IM WONDERING HOW MUCH OF THIS IS HIS
I THINK WED BETTER STOP THERE THE SPOOLS ABOUT TO MISS OH YES OH FINE


DO YOU HAVE YOU EVER HAD ANY EXPERIENCE OF TELEPATHY AT ALL I MEAN
EVER FELT YOU KNEW SOMETHING WAS GOING TO HAPPEN THAT DID HAPPEN YES ONCE
WHO YOU KNOW WHEN YOU SEE IT SOME TIME BEFORE AND THEN YOU SEE IT AFTER SEE
IT IN SAY YOURE DREAMING ABOUT IT OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT I SLEEP SO SOUNDLY
TO REMEMBER MY DREAMS OH OH NO JUST MY WISH HAD COME TRUE NO I MEAN HAVE YOU
EVER DREAMT ANYTHING AND ITS TURNED OUT TO BE EXACTLY THE SAME NOW THERE WAS
SOMETHING ACROSS A LATIN CLASS ONCE ONE TIME FROM MY YOU KNOW FROM MY SEAT
AT THE FRONT TO A GIRLS SEAT ON THE OTHER SIDE HALF WAY DOWN AND I DONT
KNOW WHAT IT WAS IT WAS AN EXAM OR SOMETHING AND WE WERE FRIENDLY WE WERE
VERY FRIENDLY WE WERE TOGETHER ALL THE TIME AND WE PUT DOWN EXACTLY THE
SAME FOR THE EXAM OR SOMETHING QUEER THERE WAS SOMETHING QUEER REALLY QUEER
WE PUT DOWN EXACTLY THE SAME AND WE JUST SAID TO THE TEACHER IT MUST HAVE
BEEN TELEPATHY HE ASKED US HE GOT US BOTH THERE AND ASKED US WHERE WED
BEEN SITTING AND HE THOUGHT WED REALLY CRIBBED OFF EACH OTHER BUT YOU KNOW
I USED TO THINK I HAD TELEPATHIC COMMUNICATION THREE TWICE OR THREE TIMES
WITH HER IT WAS IT SEEMED VERY UNUSUAL AT THE TIME BUT I CANT REMEMBER ITS GOING
BACK A FEW YEARS WELL HAVE YOU EVER THOUGHT OF SAY WELL NOT SO LONG AGO
YOU KNOW WHEN BOB* WATT* YOU KNOW THE MURDERER HE PUT IN ABOUT TEN YEARS
AGO FOR KILLING A POLICEMAN WELL I REMEMBERED THIS THING AT THE TIME YOU KNOW
NOT SO LONG AGO ABOUT SIX WEEKS AGO AND ON THE NEXT DAY IT WAS ANNOUNCED THAT HE
WAS GOING TO BE RELEASED AND THIS IS TEN YEARS
FLAT AND YOU KNOW IVE OFTEN FOUND THINGS LIKE THAT SAY YOURE THINKING ABOUT
SOMEBODY YOU KNOW LIKE THAT THING THAT YOU WERE THINKING ABOUT WHEN HE DIED
THE NEXT DAY WELL IVE DONE THAT YOU KNOW TWO OR THREE OCCASIONS IN MY LIFE WELL
TELL ME FIONA* YOU SAY THAT YOU YOU THEY WERE IDENTICAL WAS IT WORD FOR WORD
YES IT WAS SOMETHING WORD FOR WORD WAS IT JUST ONE PARTICULAR BIT OR IT WAS
JUST ONE PARTICULAR BIT WELL YES IT WAS ONE PARTICULAR BIT IN THE EXAM
ONE QUESTION I THINK IT WAS I SEE CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER ANY OTHER EXAMPLES
CANT REMEMBER EXAMPLES I CAN REMEMBER EVERYONE NO I DONT MEAN CAN YOU NOT
REMEMBER ANY OF THE OTHER OCCASIONS IS WHAT I MEAN YES AYE THATS WHAT
IM THINKING OF I CAN REMEMBER WE DISCUSSED IT AT THE TIME AND I CANT
EVERYONE SEEMED YOU KNOW THE WHOLE CLASS I MEAN SEEMED TO SAY THAT IT WAS
AND WE THOUGHT SO TOO BUT I CANT REMEMBER
IT WAS SO LONG AGO AND I WAS YOUNG VERY YOUNG YOU KNOW I WAS THIRD SECOND YEAR
NO DO YOU OFTEN FIND SOMETIMES FIND THAT YOU DO THINGS LIKE THAT YOU KNOW
YOU THINK OF A THING AND IT HAPPENS THE NEXT DAY OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT
YES FRIDAY NIGHT OH THAT WAS COINCIDENCE NO NOT REALLY I DONT THINK SO
I HAVENT NO NOTHING LIKE THATS HAPPENED FOR AGES WELL THIS THING ABOUT
THIS MURDERER WELL HE I REMEMBER YOU KNOW WHEN HE ACTUALLY DID IT ABOUT TEN
YEARS AGO AND HE WAS TOO YOUNG TO BE HANGED OH YES OH THATS THAT SIXTEEN YEAR
OLD BOY THAT PETER* YOUNG* WAS YES HE WAS HANGED YES WELL I REMEMBERED YOU KNOW
READING ABOUT THAT ABOUT TEN YEARS AGO AND I HADNT THOUGHT OF IT ANY TIME SINCE
AND I JUST THOUGHT OF IT THE DAY BEFORE AND HE WAS THERE WAS
SOMETHING IN THE PAPER ABOUT HIM DUE TO BE RELEASED YOU KNOW I THOUGHT
WHATS HAPPENED TO HIM YOU KNOW HE OUGHT TO BE OUT OF JAIL BY NOW
DID IT MAKE A VERY STRONG IMPRESSION ON YOU I MEAN THE ACTUAL INCIDENT
IN THE FIRST PLACE WELL NO WELL JUST WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT SOMETHING
I MEAN ITS JUST NO I MEAN THE INCIDENT OF HIS BEING TRIED AND SO ON AND
PUT IN JAIL WELL ACTUALLY AT THE TIME I THOUGHT THAT HE SHOULD HAVE BEEN HANGED
OH YES HE DEFINITELY SHOULD BUT YOU SEE HE WAS ONLY SIXTEEN TOO YOUNG REALLY
OH I NO THAT WAS IT I THOUGHT THAT THE OTHER CHAP SHOULDNT HAVE
BEEN HANGED BECAUSE HE DIDNT ACTUALLY DO THE MURDER SO I SUPPOSE IT DID MAKE
AN IMPRESSION ON ME BUT HAD THEY PLANNED TO MURDER THE POLICEMAN
THEY HADNT REALLY HAD THEY WELL YOU SEE IT DOESNT MATTER BECAUSE I THINK
THEY WERE COMMITTING A ROBBERY SO THAT THERES NOTHING PREMEDITATED ABOUT IT
YOU KNOW IT JUST HAPPENED NO THAT WASNT REALLY VERY FAIR BUT THAT PETER*
YOUNG* WAS MENTALLY RETARDED TOO WASNT HE NOT SURE I KNOW HIS SISTERS STILL
TRYING TO PROVE THAT HE WAS INNOCENT WELL EVERYONE KNOWS HES INNOCENT
WELL YOU SEE HE WAS HE WAS HANGED UNJUSTLY NO WELL YOU SEE HE WAS
I THINK HE WAS CARRYING A GUN AS WELL IM NOT SURE HE WOULD NEED TO HAVE

BEEN THERES I MEAN THERE MUST HAVE BEEN SOMETHING MORE TO IT ALSO YOU SEE
BECAUSE THE OTHER BOY ADMITTED IT YES WELL THEY KNOW THAT THE OTHER
CHAP DEFINITELY COMMITTED THE OFFENCE BUT HE WAS WITH HIM AT THE TIME AND
THEY WERE BOTH COMMITTING THE SAME CRIME I DONT KNOW WHAT OTHER GOREY
THINGS CAN WE SCRAPE UP GHOSTS WHERE ARE THE BOGS AROUND HERE BUT YOUVE BEEN
BEFORE HAVE YOU NOT NO DOWNSTAIRS OH THATS WHERE IT IS AGAIN YES ILL MAKE SURE
I SUPPOSE IF IM USED TO NOT DRINKING IF IT WRITES DOES IT NOT WRITE YES IT
DOES NOW I FIND THIS WHOLE QUESTION MOST FASCINATING YOU HEAR SOME PEOPLE
THAT JUST SAY IT DOESNT EXIST AND THEY DONT BELIEVE IT WHAT GHOSTS TELEPATHY
OH TELEPATHY AND HARD I THINK OH I DONT KNOW IT CANT
BE COINCIDENCE ALL THE TIME BUT I THINK MANY OF THE TIMES ITS JUST COINCIDENCE
OH THE WELL I THINK THAT THE ONLY POINT IS WHETHER OR NOT THE STORIES ARE
GENUINE IF THEYRE GENUINE THEN SOMETHING EXISTS BUT IF THEYRE ALL FAKED
THEN THEYRE OF COURSE PEOPLE WHOVE NEVER EXPERIENCED TELEPATHY OF ANY SORT
THEY DONT I MEAN I DONT THINK IVE EVER EXPERIENCED IT AND IM VERY WARY
ABOUT BELIEVING THESE STORIES ABOUT REMEMBERING THINGS AND SOME OF THEM SEEM SO
SOME OF THEM SEEM SO FAR FETCHED DONT THEY AND YET ONE WONDERS ITS THE
SAME WITH GHOSTS AND SEANCES AND ALL THAT TO GO TO A SEANCE IF IT WAS THAT
SPIRITUAL SPIRITUAL THING PLACE SOMEWHERE OH ITS IN FOREST* ROAD ISNT IT
WILL ANYONE BE ALLOWED TO GO THERE YES I MUST GO THERE IM GOING TO DO
AN AWFUL LOT OF THINGS IN MY YEAR AT VARSITY ITS IN FOREST* ROAD IS IT
THERES SOMETHING THERE WHEREABOUTS NEXT TO THE PLACE WHERE IT SAYS
GREAT BARGAINS BANKRUPT STOCK OH YES MY AUNTYS ONE OF THESE WHAT DO YOU
CALL THEM MEDIUMS IS SHE NO SHE WELL SHES A SPIRITUALIST AND WHAT DOES SHE DO
HAVE YOU EVER BEEN TO A MEETING WHY NOT WHY NOT I MEAN YOUVE THE CHANCE
HAVE YOU NO ONE TO TALK TO WHOS DEAD NO WELL YOU SEE IVE GOT RATHER A WHAT
SHOULD I SAY NONCONFORMIST IDEAS ON THIS BECAUSE YOU CANT TALK TO THE DEAD
YOU CANT NO I DONT KNOW ANYONE DEAD WHY NOT BECAUSE I THINK THAT THERES
NO AFTERLIFE SO HOW CAN YOU TALK TO THE DEAD
I DONT THINK THERES ANY AFTERLIFE BUT ID LIKE TO I JUST BELIEVE THE THINGS
I LIKE TO BELIEVE AND I WOULD LIKE TO HAVE CONVERSATION I LIKE TO HAVE
CONVERSATIONS WITH ANYONE ALIVE OR DEAD IF YOU BELIEVE THAT THERES
NO AFTERLIFE HOW CAN YOU SPEAK TO THE DEAD WELL DYOU MEAN A RELIGIOUS
AFTERLIFE WELL IS THIS SCOTTISH LOGIC OR WHAT JUST YOUR IMAGINATION IS
RELIGIOUS AFTERLIFE AND REINCARNATION THE SAME THING
NO WELL I MEAN REINCARNATION YES OH I BELIEVE IN REINCARNATION I THINK THATS
QUITE POSSIBLE I BELIEVE IN THAT DO YOU YES I READ AN ARTICLE IN THE TITBITS
CARRY ON IN THE TITBITS WELL THEY GET ALL THE REALLY GOOD ARTICLES OH I READ
THEY HAD A SERIES IN THE SERIES WAS WRITTEN BY A FAMOUS PERSON AND EVERYTHING
SEEMED WHO ELVIS* PRESLEY* OR SOMEONE NO THATS THE USUAL SORT OF ARTICLE
YOU GET IN TITBITS NO NO THIS WAS VERY INTERESTING AND IT GAVE DETAILS OF IT
WAS BY A PSYCHIATRIST IS HE HAD EXAMINED OH A LOT OF PEOPLE AND TWENTY PERCENT
OF THE PEOPLE HE COULD GET SOME TRACE OF A PREVIOUS LIFE BUT THE OTHER EIGHTY
PERCENT HAD ALL THEIR PREVIOUS LIVES WIPED OUT AT ON DEATH THEY WERE THEIR SOUL
OR SOME PART OF THEM IS SUPPOSED TO BE CLOSED AND THEN REOPENED IN ANOTHER
PERSON BUT IT HADNT BEEN WIPED OFF THE SOULS OF SOME PEOPLE THEIR HISTORY
AND ONE WOMAN COULD GO BACK THREE HUNDRED AND SEVENTY YEARS BEFORE THE
PRESENT DAY AND SHE GAVE A DESCRIPTION SHE SHED NEVER BEEN TO IRELAND SHE
LIVED IN ENGLAND SOMEWHERE AND SHED NEVER BEEN TO IRELAND AND SHE HAD SAID
HE HAD SORT OF PUT HER IN A TRANCE AND ASKED HER WHAT HER NAME WAS
AND SHED GIVEN THE NAME OF A LITTLE GIRL AND HE ASKED HER ALL HER HISTORY
AND SHE SAID SHED LIVED IN THIS TINY VILLAGE IN IRELAND SHED NAMED THE SHOPS
AND THE SHOPKEEPERS SHE DESCRIBED THE ROADS AND SHE DESCRIBED EVERYTHING
IN DETAIL BUT SHED DIED OR SOMETHING WHEN SHE WAS JUST ABOUT THIRTEEN AND
THEY TRIED TO TRACE SHE WHEN SHE WOKE UP THEY TOOK HER OUT OF THE TRANCE
AND THEY ASKED HER IF SHED EVER BEEN TO IRELAND SHE EVEN SPOKE WITH AN IRISH
ACCENT AND HE ASKED HER WHAT WHEN SHE WAS IN THE TRANCE WHEN SHE WAS IN
THE TRANCE HE ASKED HER AND IN A LITTLE GIRLS VOICE AND WHEN SHE CAME OUT OF THE
TRANCE HE ASKED HER IF SHED EVER BEEN TO IRELAND SHE SAID NO HE ASKED HER IF
SHE KNEW ANYTHING ABOUT IRELAND AND SHE DIDNT KNOW A THING AND SHE HE

ASKED HER IF SHED HEARD OF THE VILLAGE AND SHE HADNT HEARD OF IT
SHE DIDNT KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT IT SO THEY WENT OVER TO HE SENT OVER TO IRELAND
AND THEY TRACED BACK THE RECORDS AND THEY WERE PRETTY POOR AT THAT TIME
BUT THEY MANAGED TO TRACE UP THROUGH YOU KNOW TO TRACE UP CERTAIN THINGS
AND THE NAMES OF THE STREETS SHED GIVEN WERE CORRECT THE NAMES OF THE
SHOPKEEPERS AT THAT TIME WERE CORRECT AND EVERYTHING FITTED AND HER DOOR JUST
HADNT BEEN CLOSED BUT WHEN SHE WAS CONSCIOUS SHE WASNT AWARE OF IT AT ALL
AND I THESE KIND OF THINGS ARE INCLINED TO CONVINCE ME A LITTLE AND
THATS WHY I WANT TO GO TO A SEANCE SO WOULD YOU LIKE TO COME ALONG WITH ME
I HAVENT ANYONE YOU HAVE TO HAVE SOMEONE DEAD TO TALK TO THOUGH
DONT YOU IVE NEVER I KNOW ANYONE WELL WHY DONT YOU KILL EILEEN*
SORRY DEAR I ONLY DID IT TO PROVE SOMETHING IN THE INTERESTS OF SCIENCE
WELL YOUR GRANDPARENTS MUST BE DEAD OH YES BUT I NEVER KNEW NO MY GRANDFATHERS
YOU DONT HAVE TO KNOW THEM DO YOU OH YOU DO YOU HAVE TO KNOW THEM TO BE
ABLE TO TALK TO THEM WHY THE HELL I DONT KNOW BUT YOU HAVE TO WHAT THE USE
WOULD BE ID BE AS WELL JUST COMING A TALKING TO STRANGERS LIKE I LET MYSELF
IN FOR IT TONIGHT YES BUT I MEAN THATS NOT THE POINT WHETHER YOU KNOW UNLESS
YOUVE GOT BUT YOU COULDNT PROVE IT YOU COULDNT YOU WOULDNT KNOW IF IT WAS LIKE
WHAT THE YOU KNOW LIKE THE THINGS THEY SAID NO BUT SOMEONE ELSE COULD
OH NO I WOULD HAVE TO BE CONVINCED SO IF ANY OF YOU DIE ILL JUST COME
UP AND SPEAK TO YOU THANKS IT WAS A NICE THOUGHT NO BUT THERES A HECK OF A LOT
OF FIDDLING GOES ON IN THESE THINGS YOU KNOW HIDDEN MICROPHONES BUT THEY MUST
HAVE SOMETHING WHEN THEY CAN REPRODUCE THE EXPRESSIONS THAT THE PEOPLE USED
AND THEIR I DONT KNOW I THINK YOU MUST GIVE AWAY AN AWFUL LOT EVEN WITHOUT
MEANING TO OH CERTAINLY I MEAN LOOK AT PEOPLE LIKE FORTUNE TELLERS AND SO ON
THESE MEDIUMS SOMETIMES ASK YOU QUESTIONS I THINK YOU PROBABLY
GIVE A LOT AWAY IN BUT NOT ALL THAT MUCH OH I DONT KNOW WELL AS I WAS
SAYING BEFORE THESE FORTUNE TELLERS TEND TO BE SO GENERAL IN THEIR
STATEMENTS BUT WOMEN BELIEVE THEM DONT THEY I WENT TO THREE FORTUNE TELLERS
AND HAD THE SAME FORTUNE TELLER THE SAME FORTUNE TOLD EACH TIME ALMOST ALMOST
EXACTLY THE SAME IN LONDON ONE IN LONDON ONE DOWN IN EDINBURGH AT THE FAIR
AND THE OTHER ONE WAS AT THE SHOWS AT CRIEFF* WHAT WHAT DID THEY SAY THEY
WELL THEY SAID OH IT WAS MY PALM THEY READ AND I WAS GOING TO LIVE TILL
EIGHTY FOUR ALL OF THEM ALL THREE OF THEM SAID THAT THEY EVEN TOLD ME THAT I
WOULD GET THROUGH MY DEGREE EXAMS THE SHE SAID I NEVER TOLD HER A THING
AT FIRST I STARTED WEARING A UNIVERSITY SCARF I NEVER TOOK IT OFF AND GAVE
IT OUT OH YES THAT WAS RIGHT BUT WE WERE STANDING OUTSIDE AND SHE SAID
ID A MEDICAL HAND AND OH YES SHE SAID WELL BOTH ALL OF THEM SAY IM GOING
TO HAVE TWO CHILDREN AND ONLY ONE OF THEM TOLD ME WHAT KIND THEY WERE GOING
TO BE GOING TO BE A GIRL AND A BOY AND I HATE SONS I WOULD HATE SONS I SHOULD
SAY OH IVE ID HATE TO HAVE A SON AND I WANT TWINS ANYWAY AND OH YOURE GOING
TO HAVE A LOT OF FIGHTS THERE WHAT OH WAIT A MINUTE TWINS YOUVE GOT TO HAVE
A LOT OF FAT FIGHTS FIGHTS ARE YOU A TWIN NO NO OH I WOULD LOVE TWINS AND
THERES TWINS RUN IN MY FAMILY IVE JUST IM LOOKING FOR A MALE WITH TWINS
IN HIS FAMILY OH THAT SOUNDS DREADFUL WELL IVE ONLY GOT A YEAR
HOW MANY TIMES IS THAT THATS FIVE FIVE OR SIX ISNT IT THAT YOUVE SAID THAT
WHAT IVE ONLY GOT A YEAR OH YES WELL IM QUITE CONVINCED AND I DONT CARE
SOUNDS LIKE A DEATH SENTENCE OH WELL THAT IS THE ATTITUDE THAT A LOT OF PEOPLE
YOU HAVE SWITCHED ON HAVENT YOU YES DO GO ON OH YES WHAT WAS OH YES THE
FORTUNE TELLER SAID I HAD A SET OF EXAMS IN THE EARLY SPRING IN MARCH AND
I SAID OH NO I SAID GOT THEM IN JUNE AND SHE JUST SAID OH WELL IT LOOKS AS
IF THEYRE BEFORE THAT IN MARCH HERE BUT IF YOU SAY THEYRE IN JUNE THATS ALL
RIGHT SHE SAID AND THEN YOU HAVE A SECOND SET MORE IMPORTANT SLIGHTLY LATER
ON SHE SAID THEY SEEM TO BE ABOUT JUNE AND I SAID OH YES I HAVE THEM IN
MARCH AND JUNE SHE SAID WELL YOU HAVENT WORKED BUT YOULL PASS YOUR EXAMS
ALTHOUGH YOU DONT DESERVE TO SHE SAID AND EVEN THIS SECOND LOT
ALTHOUGH YOULL YOU WONT GET A VERY GOOD PASS YOULL MANAGE TO PASS THEM
SHE SAID BUT YOULL HAVE TO APPLY YOURSELF YOULL HAVE TO TRY AND APPLY
YOURSELF SO I CAME AWAY FULL OF GOOD RESOLUTIONS I HAVENT GOT DOWN TO IT
YET WHAT ELSE WAS SHE TELLING ME THATS ABOUT ALL NO SHE SPOKE TO ME FOR ABOUT

TEN MINUTES AND I STARTED ASKING HER QUESTIONS THEN SHE SAID OF COURSE I CANT
TELL DID SHE ASK YOU IF YOU WANTED TO LOOK IN THE CRYSTAL BALL FOR AN EXTRA
FIVE SHILLINGS THE ONE IN EDINBURGH THE ONE SHE ONLY TOOK HALF A CROWN
AND ALL THE OTHER ONES HAVE TAKEN FIVE SHILLINGS OH BOY THE EDINBURGH ONE
THE EDINBURGH ONE ONLY TOOK HALF A CROWN I WAS DIDDLED AT THE REST ITS RATHER
INTERESTING WE STAYED ABOUT HALF AN HOUR YOU KNOW AROUND THE VICINITY
OF THE FORTUNE TELLER IT WAS RATHER INTERESTING TO SEE THE PEOPLE
COMING OUT YOU KNOW BEAMING FACES ANY MALES NO ALL FEMALES EXCUSE ME ALL SOFT
HEARTED I ONLY GO WHEN THERES HARDLY ANYBODY AROUND OH AND IM GOING TO HAVE
A LONG LONG HAPPY MARRIAGE THAT WAS ANOTHER THING EIGHTY FOUR CRIKEY DONT
SEE HOW I CAN BECAUSE I MEAN ILL BE OFF THE WORLD SOON IN ABOUT TEN YEARS
I THINK THERES GOING TO BE A BOMB BLOWS THE PLACE UP OH OF COURSE WERE IN THE
WRAC WELL GO TO WAR AND FIGHT THEM WHAT YOURE NOT ARE YOU YES ITS GREAT OH IM IN
THE OTC ARE YOU I JUST JOINED OH HOW LONG AGO A WEEK OH ITS GREAT FUN YOU WERENT
THERE TODAY WELL ACTUALLY I WENT TO TRY AND HAVE A MEDICAL BUT IVE GOT TO GO
ON SUNDAY YOU SEE WHAT IT WAS I FIRST OF ALL I WAS SUPPOSED TO GO ON
SATURDAY AND THERE WASNT ANYBODY THERE WHO COULD DO IT THEN HE TOLD ME
TO COME ROUND ON SUNDAY BECAUSE THERES BOUND TO BE SOMEBODY THERE COURSE
I WAS STILL SLEEPING AT TWELVE OCLOCK YOU KNOW WOKE UP AT TWELVE THIRTY
AND I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THERE AT TWELVE THEN I WAS SUPPOSED TO GET KITTED
OUT ON TUESDAY AND I COULDNT GET KITTED OUT BECAUSE I DIDNT HAVE A MEDICAL
SO I WENT TODAY AND COULDNT HAVE ONE THEN BECAUSE THERE WAS NOBODY THERE
COULD DO IT NEXT SUNDAY YES IT WAS SUNDAY WE WERE ALL EXAMINED
WHICH IS THE DAY AFTER THE INTERNATIONAL WHCIH IS RATHER A OH IS THAT A HECTIC
NIGHT OH IT WILL BE OH CRUMBS IM STAYING IN YOU DONT SOUND VERY CONVINCING
I MIGHT SAY OH IM GOING TO STAY IN I DONT WANT TO BE IM STAYING IN
SUNDAY AND SATURDAY NIGHT SATURDAY OH NO IM SURE ILL NEED TO GO OUT I CANT
POSSIBLY STAY IN ALL THE WEEKEND AGAINST MY PRINCIPLES OH I DO ALL MY WORK ON
SUNDAY OH WELL YOULL HAVE TO GET UP NICE AND EARLY AND WHAT ABOUT ITS NOT EVEN
WORTH GOING TO ISNT IT OH YOUVE TO BEND DOWN OH NO I WONT SHOW YOU OH IM
NOT TOO GOOD AT THAT AND YOUVE GOT TO STAND AND THEN GET DOWN WITH YOUR KNEES
BENT AND YOUR
BACK STRAIGHT AND OF COURSE AND NOT PUT YOUR HEEL ON THE FLOOR AND OF COURSE
I DID IT YOU FELL FLAT ON YOUR BACK DID YOU NO NO I DID IT I DID IT ALL RIGHT
BUT HE DIDNT TELL ME NOT TO PUT MY HEELS ON THE FLOOR SO DID IT AND HE SAID
NO NOT LIKE THAT DO IT LIKE THIS AND I SAID OH I THOUGHT IT WAS THAT WAY HE
SAID OH NO WE ALL GET WE GET THAT EXCUSE FROM EVERYONE WHO CANT DO IT IT WAS
QUITE A REASONABLE EXCUSE FOR ONCE FROM ME YOULL
BE LUCKY IF YOURE KITTED OUT IVE BEEN IN THERE A TERM AND I HAVENT BEEN KITTED
YET DID YOU AND I HAVE SEE ME MARCHING
AROUND IN BD OH CRUMBS AND MY KHAKI SKIRT OH DEAR AND MY GREAT BIG BEETLE
CRUSHERS OH THEYRE HORRIBLE OH DEAR WEVE GOT TO WEAR KILTS SOMETIMES
HAVENT WE ARE YOU IN THE BAND NO WELL I THINK YOU IM NOT ACTUALLY I MIGHT
START PLAYING THE BAGPIPES BECAUSE MY FATHERS GOT A SO
AND WHAT ANY EXPERIENCE IN PLAYING THE BAGPIPES WELL I MEAN A LITTLE ON THE
CHANTER THATS ABOUT ALL YOUVE GOT TO GET THE HANG OF YOU KNOW BLOWING
IN THIS END YOU KNOW AND GETTING THE OLD BAG UNDER YOUR ELBOW THAT THING
I DONT KNOW HOW ANYONE CAN PLAY IT CONSUMES HONEY LIKE ANYTHING YOU KNOW MY
FATHER HONEY YES TO FOR THE PIGSKIN BLADDER YOU SEE HONEY MY GRANDAD
POURS TREACLE INTO IT AND IT WORKS JUST AS WELL WELL WELL HONEYS
SUPPOSED DYOU MEAN A PIG BLADDER SKIN OR A PIGSKIN BLADDER A PIGSKIN
ITS A PIGS BLADDER SKIN YES PIGS PIGS BLADDER SKIN YES DO THEY JUST TAKE
KILL PIGS FOR THAT OH APART FROM THE BACON I MEAN BALLS ESSENTIALLY YES
WHAT MADE YOU WANT TO JOIN THE OTC NORWAY PAY LATER DRINKING HOURS
RIFLE SHOOTING CHEAPER DRINK OH THE RIFLE SHOOTING IS NO GOOD ISNT IT
I WENT THERE TWICE AND COULDNT KEEP ONE EYE CLOSED AND THE OTHER EYE OPEN
SO ID TO GIVE IT UP I COULDNT EVEN SEE THE TARGET OH THE TARGETS ARE
MILES AWAY WHOLE TWENTY FIVE YARDS BUT THEY LOOK OH THEY LOOK MILES AND
YOUVE TO LIE DOWN ON YOUR FACE SORT OF GAZE AT THIS THING AND YOUR HAND
SHAKES AND YOUR EYES WINK BECAUSE WELL I DID IT WITH A TWO TWO THAT

I THINK ITS EASIER BECAUSE ITS MUCH LIGHTER YES THATS WHAT WE USE AND
THERES NOT SO MUCH KICK BEHIND IT NO THERES NO KICK AT ALL
THERES NO KICK AT ALL WELL IT DID YOU USE A TWO TWO YES TWO TWO WELL
THREE O THREE YOU KNOW THE HEAVIER ONE THEY
USE A THREE O THREE AS WELL THATS THE ONE THAT HAS A SLIGHT KICK A THREE
O THREE HAS QUITE A KICK WE WERE USING WE WERE USING A YES THATS
WHY WE WERE BECAUSE THEY DONT WANT TO DAMAGE US OH I SEE YES WERE
SUPPOSED TO BE DELICATE WHICH WE ARE WE COULDNT EVEN LIFT THE THING
WE GOT THESE EXERCISES AND YOUVE TO TAKE THE BUTT AND HOLD POINT IT AWAY
UP THERE AND WE COULDNT OUR ARM USED TO SHUT UP AND DOWN IT CAME WELL I
JOINED FOR THESE REASONS AND PLUS THE DRIVING YOU GET TAUGHT TO DRIVE
WELL ALSO MY FATHER SAID I NEED A BIT OF DISCIPLINE YOU KNOW THERES YOU WONT
GET ANY THERE HONESTLY ITS JUST TERRIFIC THATS WHY IM JOINING IT TO MAKE HIM
THINK THAT IM GETTING DISCIPLINE OH ITS GREAT FUN THERE ISNT IT OH BUT WAIT HAVE
YOU BEEN ON A DRILLING YET NO JUST YOU WAIT OH THERES NOTHING WRONG WITH IT
ITS GREAT FUN ITS RATHER AMUSING WHATS THIS DRILL DRILL YOU KNOW
ATTENTION OH EILEEN* DISTINGUISHED HERSELF AT DRILLING LAST TIME WE
WERE DOING IT SUNDAY MORNING WED A TRAINING WEEKEND AND I WAS IN THE
VERY FRONT THE OUTSIDE COLUMN AND SO THE WOMAN TAKING DRILL SHOUTED
SQUADRON MOVE TO THE LEFT ABOUT TURN SO I TURNED LEFT AND THE SQUADRON
LIKE THAT AND I CAME LIKE THIS AND SHE WAS RIGHT ACROSS THE DRILL HALL BEFORE
SHE DICOVERED NO WONDER I GOT THAT WAS FUNNY WELL AS
LONG AS YOU DONT MAKE ANY GRAVE MISTAKES LIKE THAT WELL ILL JUST GO IN THE
MIDDLE OF THE THING I WAS IN THEYRE ALL IN PLATOONS WAS IT PLATOONS YOU CALL
IT WHAT HAVE YOU JOINED ARE YOU IN THE INFANTRY ROYAL ENGINEERS ENGINEERS
DO YOU KNOW KEN* WATSON* YES AND WHO ELSE DO YOU KNOW GRAHAM* CARNIE*
GRAHAM* CARNIE* WHAT IS HE IS HE IN THE ENGINEERS I DONT KNOW THATS NOT THE
HES GOT SLIGHTLY CROSS EYES WHEN HES LOOKING AT YOU OH THAT GRAHAM* BROKEN
ARM GRAHAM* WHAT DOES HE DO SAME AS ME MEDICINE MEDICINE HOW MANY MEDICS
ARE THERE OH THERES A JEFF* A JEFF* BOY OH YES A VERY TALL BOY HES IN IT
ALTHOUGH IVE NEVER SEEN HIM THERE FOR LONG ENOUGH YES JEFF* I THINK HES IN
SIGNALS HES THE BACK IS THAT THE SIGNALS THE VERY BACK EITHER THAT OR INFANTRY
IS I DONT KNOW OH NO HES NOT IN SIGNALS OH WELL MAYBE HE IS WE TAKE SIGNALS
WERE IN WITH THE SIGNAL MALES SOMETIMES AND HE WASNT THERE BUT THEN
HE WASNT THERE THAT DAY I DONT THINK IS IT YOU KNOW ON THIS THING
WHEN YOU GO TO NORWAY YOUVE GOT TO DO THIS CERTAIN AMOUNT OF DRILLS OR WHAT
FIFTY DRILLS AND YOU GET WELL THREE NO TWO FOR AN AFTERNOON AND THREE FOR
A MORNING THATS FIVE DRILLS YOU CAN DO A WEEK IF YOU GO FOR TEN WEEKS
SOLIDLY YOULL HAVE YOUR FIFTY DRILLS AND ITS FIFTY DRILLS FOR THE WOMEN
ANYWAY I DONT KNOW ITS MAYBE SIXTY FOR THE MEN I DOUBT IT IS THIS TO GET
YOUR BOUNTY YOURE TALKING ABOUT YES TO GET YOUR BOUNTY TO GET AN EXTRA
TWELVE POUNDS IF YOU GO OH NO YOU OH WELL I DONT KNOW
BECAUSE I THINK THERES SOMETHING ABOUT TAKING THE PEOPLE WHOVE DONE THE
MOST DRILL WELL YOULL JUST HAVE TO GO EVERY WEDNESDAY AFTERNOON AND EVERY
SATURDAY MORNING YOU CAN GET I CANT GET SATURDAY MORNING YES YOU CAN BECAUSE
ISNT IT MOST PEOPLE I KNOW THEY TURN UP VERY SELDOM YES OH WELL THATS OK
WHATS THIS ABOUT NORWAY WERE GETTING TO NORWAY FREE THE OTC ARE GOING
TO NORWAY IN OCTOBER NO IN FACT YOU GET PAID PAID YES PAID TO GO TO NORWAY
FOR A TRAINING WEEKEND TO MARCH ARE YOU FULLY AWARE YOURE GOING
TO MARCH HOW MUCH THIRTY MILES A DAY THIRTY MILES HOW MANY IS THERE SIX
HUNDRED AND TEN MILES ALTOGETHER OH DONT BE NOBODY CAN MARCH THIRTY
MILES A DAY SIX HES GOING TO YES ALL THE BOYS ALL THE GIRLS GET IN TRUCKS
AND DO THE DRIVING MILES A DAY NO ITLL BE TWO THERE ARE THE BOYS
ARE DIVIDED INTO TWO AND HALF MARCH FIFTEEN AND THE OTHER HALF MARCH THE
NEXT FIFTEEN THATS MORE LIKE IT AND THEYLL BE TAKING THE TRUCKS TO CATCH UP
AND FIFTEEN MILES A DAY THATS MORE LIKE IT OH
SURELY NOT WHAT A HOPELESS BUNCH OF MALES IF THEY CANT MARCH THIRTY MILES
WELL DYOU KNOW THIRTY MILES IS EIGHT HOURS SOLID MARCHING IS IT PRETTY
NEARLY NO YOULL ONLY BE DOING HALF THAT AND WHAT DYOU DO YOU JUST MARCH IN
NORWAY AND COME BACK DYOU YES JUST MARCH WELL WHAT WERE SUPPOSED TO

BE DOING SOMETHING WERE SUPPOSED TO BE IMPROVING RELATIONS
CHARITY BEGINS AT HOME SOMETIME ABOUT SIXTEEN HUNDRED SOME SCOTTISH SOLDIER
WENT OVER WITH A CONTINGENT AND MARCHED THROUGH NORWAY FROM SOMEWHERE TO
SOMEWHERE AND WERE JUST FOLLOWING HIS ROUTE YOU KNOW IT ISNT AN HOUR LONG ROUTE
PASSENGER ROUTE NO BUT IF YOU GO TO OSLO WELL DYOU NOT KNOW WHEREABOUTS
IN NORWAY YOURE GOING IF YOURE GOING
TO OSLO IM JOINING THE OTC NOW WELL ONLY BE THERE FOR ABOUT OH JUST AN
HOUR OR TWO YES THATS LONG ENOUGH WILL YOU DESERT AND JOIN US THREE WEEKS
LATER WHEN WE COME BACK DO WE COME BACK WHAT TO OSLO I DONT KNOW WHETHER
WERE GOING TO OSLO HOW MANY WEEKS IS IT THREE THREE WEEKS IN NORWAY OH WELL
YOURE BOUND TO BE IN OSLO ACTUALLY I THINK IM IM NOT COMING BACK IF POSSIBLE
YOU KNOW WITH THE STRAIGHT DOWN TO FRANCE WHICH COUNTRIES DYOU CROSS THROUGH
THEN GERMANY HOLLAND ARE YOU FLYING OR ARE YOU GOING TO HITCH HIKE
ACTUALLY WHAT I WAS THINKING OF DOING IS WORKING A BIT AND BUYING
A SCOOTER AND TWO OF US GOING DOWN OH CAN YOU NOT GET THAT OFF YOUR GRANT
IF YOU STOP DRINKING AND STOP SMOKING WELL I DONT SMOKE YOU SEE WELL I MEAN
OFFICIALLY I DONT SMOKE BUT I MANAGE TO GET ALL I WANT DRINKING WELL I MEAN
THATS TOTALLY OUT OF THE QUESTION IS IT YES I MEAN THATS WHAT MOST PEOPLE
SAY I MEAN IT PRACTICALLY FLOWS AROUND MY VEINS NOW GOT
MORE ALCOHOL IN HIS BLOOD THAN WHITE CELLS OH WELL THAT WOULDNT
TAKE MUCH DOING WOULD IT WHY ARE YOU SOBER TONIGHT HOW DO YOU KNOW
IM SOBER HES BEEN HERE TOO LONG OH WHAT A SHAME THE PUBS WERE CLOSED
HE WAS DRUNK WHEN HE I MEAN HE WAS SOBER WHEN HE ARRIVED HES BEEN DRUNK
HERE BEFORE ACCORDING TO THIS BOOK WHICH HE SIGNED ON I DONT KNOW QUITE
WHEN HE SIGNED IT DOESNT SAY BUT HE SAYS INEBRIATED AT A TIME AT THE TIME
SPELT A TIME TIME SOME DRUNKEN BASTARD FROM PETERBOROUGH TOLD ME TO SAY THAT
OH YES I REMEMBER NO DO I YOU BETTER SAY I DONT KNOW ANYTHING THE NEXT PERSON
TO SIGN WAS ALSO FROM PETERBOROUGH WHO SIGNED AND ALWAYS REMEMBER TO BE
PREPARED DID I SPELL IT LIKE THAT PARDON YES YOU WERE A LITTLE UNDER THE WEATHER
YOU STARTED A VERY INTRICATE DISCUSSION ON JAZZ WITH CHRIS* BUT YOU WOULDNT
REMEMBER THAT I DO ACTUALLY YOU DO SOMETHING ABOUT THE OF ORTONY* NOTHING TO DO
WITH ME I DIDNT WRITE IT WELL STOP READING WHATS THE PURPOSE OF KEEPING
A VISITORS BOOK PARDON WHATS THE PURPOSE OF KEEPING A VISITORS BOOK
OH ITS JUST A JUST TO SEE PLEASANT THIS IS WRONG ITS NOT ILLIGITIMUM
I KNOW BUT HE WAS TRYING TO MAKE IT SINGULAR AND REFERRING TO ME CONCEITED
ITS NOT SINGULAR WELL IT SHOULD BE NON ILLIGITIMOS I WOULD SAY ACTUALLY
THATS NOT A LATIN WORD THAT SUPPOSED TO BE LATIN ITS ILLIGITIMUM BECAUSE
DONT LET THE IS ACCUSATIVE IS ACCUSATIVE DO NOT ALLOW THE BASTARDS BASTARDS
YES TO GRAND IT OUT BUT THIS IS SINGULAR YES WELL ILLIGITIMUS IT SHOULD BE
NON ILLIGITIMOS YES NO IT IS NOT ACTUALLY ITS NOMINATIVE BECAUSE ITS THE
SUBJECT OF THE SUBORDINATE CLAUSE THERE IS NO SUCH WORD SO WHAT YOU
BLETHERING ABOUT BASTARDS IT APPEARS YOUVE READ IT ALL BEFORE MAC*
NO I MEAN THIS IS AFTER THIS ROOM IS TAPED JANE* BOWMAN* ENLIGHTENING WITH
A QUESTION MARK WHAT DOES THAT MEAN JANE* BOWMAN* LIGHTENING QUESTION MARK
HOW LONG DOES YOUR TAPE RUN OH ITS JUST GOT AND THEN THE NEXT ONE SOMEBODY
JANET* SIM* LIGHTENING NO QUESTION MARK THATS JO* OF COURSE JO* THOMPSON*
WITH HER WATNEYS* RED BARREL FOR WHO FOR WHO SO EVER WHICH FOR WHO SO
EVER HERE YOU SHOULD HAVE SOME NO IT ISNT HAVE SOME QUITE INTERESTING
CONVERSATIONS ON THESE TAPES OH THATS WHAT YES ALL MY EXPRESSIONS ARE
COMING OUT YOU WONT NO ONE UNDERSTANDS THAT EXCEPT THE PERSON WHO WROTE IT AND
I WHAT ABOUT THIS WHATS IT TALKING ABOUT I SUPPOSE THAT IM JUST NOT
DRUNK ENOUGH TO EXERCISE MY WHIP SORRY ABOUT THE COFFEE ON YOUR BEDSPREAD
SPILT COFFEE ALL OVER MY BEDSPREAD WASNT VERY KIND WAS IT STILL I MEAN
EVERYTHING GETS ALL OVER THIS ITS BLACK EVER SINCE ITS CHANGED FROM
BEDSPREAD BED TO A COUCH WELL LONG WAY TO GO YES WELL I WONT NEED THAT
BOOK FOR WRITING UP ANY MORE PHYSICS PRACTICALS YOU MIGHT AS WELL USE IT SOME
WAY YES ITS QUITE GOOD ACTUALLY WEVE GOT ONE TWO THREE FOUR FIVE SIX
SEVEN EIGHT NINE TEN SIDES FULL THIS IS QUITE A GOOD ONE ACTUALLY