<A  RANDOLPH>
<T  THE FARY KNIGHT>
((the speakers))
Politico a foolish politician and mock King of Faries
Loserello the Fairy Knight
Spendall a Prodigal
Covet a userer
Craft a Cheater
Snap and Shift his servants
Wiches   persons assumed by Craft and his companions to
Devil   perfect their cheat
Fairies
Oliver
Lansprosade   servants
Drummer
Vintners
Barristers
Elves
Judges &c:
((the prologue))
Not in high numbers we intend to bring
The fates of Princes in a laboured scene.
We seek not with tragic events to fright,
Or to affect you with a sad delight.
Our aim is laughter, if we that do move
It will a garland to our labours prove.
However Sirs our duty we will pay,
And beg your kind acceptance of our Play.
((act 1))
((scene 1))
((Enter Covet and Spendall))
<S  COV>
You'll seal the writings?
<S  SPEN>
Seal them Covet? I'll seal them and seal them.
May I never see day of pleasure if I intend to cosen
thee.
<S  COV>
You are more noble sir.
<S  SPEN>
I value no more land than I do dirt. It is not all the
acres the great Magul is master of I would exchange
an hour's pleasure for. I esteem not thy gold Covet but
as a means to my pleasure.
<S  COV>
Care you not for gold sir? (O prodigy!) I'll furnish you
with silver. Good faith I had rather do it.
<S  SPEN>
No Covet it is all but dross. Whole India in my judgment's
balance is outweighed by a dram of pleasure. Pleasure is able to
make men immortal and turn a 100 and 10 to 15. O dear
pleasure I do hug thee.
<S  COV>
But what will gold do sir?
<S  SPEN>
It is an enemy to pleasure. It will make him miserable
that reaps it.
<S  COV>
What then intend you with that I must pay you for your
land?
<S  SPEN>
Exercise my rage upon it and spend it.
<S  COV>
Rather condemn it to perpetual imprsiionment to be closely locked
up in coffers and let me be jailer.
No Covet it is too slight a punishment for so grievious an offender.
I'll to court to the Devil tavern, where sentance of perpetual
banishment from our trunks and pockets shall juridically
be pronounced against this friend of care and arch traitor of
pleasure. Covet farewell my boy shall be the apparitor
to summon the malefactor from the prison in thy house thy
mouldy bags and coffers to appear at the tavern bar
there to receive condign punishment.
((exit))
<S  COV>
Monster of men! And thinks thou that I for all thy land will
be guilty of so sacreligious a crime as to send golden angels to
the devil for so he termed that profane place the tavern
where my beloved gold must receive sentence, as he said, of
perpetual banishment. No, no it is piety to cosen him. I'll home
and make it my study how to hold from him his land yet keep
my gold.
((exit))
((scene 2))
((Enter Craft))
<S  CRAFT>
It begins to work. Covet I'll be with thee anon and you Mr
Spendall shall have my company. I may chance sirs to raise
your admiration concerning my person. For as you see I can
Lady-like change my fashion. This venerable beard speaks me
a Spaniard. For look now in my face and see if you do not espy an 88
Armado or a fleet of gold sailing from the Indies in my
forehead. Faith I'll be honest with you, you shall see all. In this
ruff I look like Hanse van Verking Snort burger-master of
Amsterdam newly arrived in England with a brace of Holland
Cheeses to bribe the new states that old ones might have time to
lose themselves. I would show you a Frenchman but to do that
feat I should have an exchange in my briches to furnish me with
variety of forms. I believe you guess at my profession already,
nevertheless upon promise of your future silence I'll
inform you more. I am a Mercury brought up in the city,
by the  most exquisite of the trade, and served my apprenticeship
in Newgate. Yet since I thank my stars advanced to higher
preferment, fortune hath made me master of a company, and
now I have men to do for me what I was wont to do myself
but notwithstanding I must like Aesop's cat follow
my old course of hunting. Whist who comes here a prize
I hope.
((he steps aside))
((scene 3))
((Enter Loserello))
<S  LOSS>
O that I had been born in King Arthur's days, when honour
went a-begging, and every round table knight had her for his
Zane. The world was then full of dragons, enchanted castles
and ladies and every lousy knight was able to kill you his
giant of a 1000 miles in compass when nowadays there
are as brave spirits to be found and though I say it under this roof.
But because there are no dragons or giants to kill they scarce
deserve to have their names in black and white but in a tavern bill
or on the back side of an old Almanac for debt. O *tempora
O *moribus! Shall Guy of Warwick's cow eternize his name and
enrich the states with money for the history of a deed every butcher
can equal him in whilst such a valour as burns in this breast
is neglected? I could mutiny for anger. Who comes here? O that
it were a Giant as great as Magolet whom Sir Tristram
slew in farelands.
((scene 4))
((Enter Craft blowing a horn))
<S  CRAFT>
Twive, Twive tan twive: bless me my stars! Mars is
in his height and with his glorious rays displayed upon this
place most historically tells the prodigy of valour to be at
hand for whom the illustrious Oberon hath sought Africa Asia
and 3 parts of America.
<S  LOSS>
It is not me he means is it?
<S  CRAFT>
By the Stygian Lake that stately posture he walks in was
a mark King Oberon gave me to know him by.
<S  LOSS>
Nay then I see it is me he looks for: I will use more heroic
gestures.
<S  CRAFT>
in his forehead and plainly see the spot on his eyelid
Queen Mab left to know him by when she kissed him in his cradle.
I'll accost him. Most heroic sir deign a mortal the
privlege to kiss that hand the Fates have decreed shall hold the
ball of the fairy empire.
<S  LOSS>
It is a favour I deny kings but because I perceive you are
a stranger come from the fairy court I'll grant you the
prerogative.
<S  CRAFT>
Thanks most excellent prince for this ambrosian kiss worth
more land than Cam can call his. O heavens! all the lines
of happiness concenter here. I thought sir your glory would haue been
confined within the limits of Fairyland. But now I plainly see
it will stretch itself from pole to pole. The world will be too
little for your greatness.
((he looks upon his hand))
<S  LOSS>
But art sure of this?
<S  CRAFT>
Sure? Am I sure I live? Am I sure I kiss your royal hand?
It is meer infidelity to doubt it. That vein in your forehead
is a certain sign in palmistry the world shall not see your equal.
Fame shall forget the deeds of Alexander and fill her golden trumpet
only with your name.
<S  LOSS>
Rise up rise up thou shalt kneel no longer for thy good news.
By this light I might have viewed myself over and over in a
looking glass and not have discovered half the good fortune
you tell me of. But dost come from fairyland and art sent by
Oberon to find me out?
<S  CRAFT>
I am most illustrious prince.
<S  LOSS>
Hark he calls me prince too.
<S  CRAFT>
My great master Oberon implores your aid.
<S  LOSS>
My aid, what to do?
<S  CRAFT>
To kill a terrible giant in his dominions that devours men
and beasts.
<S  LOSS>
Men and beasts? By this light I'll have nothing to do with
him. I thank my stars I understand myself a little better now
than in my younger days when 12 giants an hour was
not enough for my fury I am not mad to bury all my good
<S  CRAFT>
Sir you cannot refuse the fight the Fates have decreed it the gate
to all your happiness.
<S  LOSS>
Pox of the Fates for me I am resolved not to cope with so
terrible a giant as thou speaks of.
<S  CRAFT>
King Oberon weighing well the danger he invites you to thought of
a way to make you surely victorious.
<S  LOSS>
Out with it out with it. There are some crumbs of comfort left yet.
<S  CRAFT>
Why he would have me carry you to my grannams a fairy witch whose
spell will make you so impregnable that you shall have no difficulty to
encounter the greatest giant ever Lancely du-lake grappled with.
<S  LOSS>
I thank his grace for the care he hath on me. But dost think the devil
and the witch thy grannam can do it?
<S  CRAFT>
No difficulty. Was not Sir Amides de Gall and Don Sel del Phaebo both
of them enchanted and by virtue of their spell did feats nations stood
a-tiptoe to hear of.
<S  LOSS>
O I remember! What a blockhead am I, ay and Sir Huen of Burdox
and the black prince were both of them enchanted, well get but the devil to
do it and I shall love witchcraft as long as I live.
((scene 5))
((Enter Politico reading a letter))
<S  LOSS>
Slid here comes Politico not a word as thou lovest me of
Oberon and fairyland he will circumvent me and blow up
my good fortunes into smoke, Machiavelli was not such a politician
as he is. He hath plots on every part of the world, on my
conscience Oberon is not free from his conspiracies for I heard
him praise fairyland which is a main sign his mouth
makes water after it. His spies are spread through
the world like Jews or Irishmen. They furnish him with
such variety of news that his estate is not suffieint to pay
for letters. He intends to build new commonwealths and destroy all
the old ones. Well I'll away before he spies me he'll suspect us
vilely if he see us together. Where shall I find you 3 hours
((exit Losserello))
<S  CRAFT>
In this very place. Fail not to come and bring a present with
you for the devil it will make the enchantment go on the better.
<S  POL>
It shall be so America is ours. The world shall stand amazed to see
our triumphs. We'll tread on gold whilst the richest
gems the red sea boast do pave the earth we make happy with our presence.
Fame thou shall be our trumpetor and with full blasts make
the world echo our great name. Jove send down thy eagles,
send those chariots which to the starry Capitol of heaven drew
thee in truimph when thy powerful thunder had made thee
victor and the earthborn brood creep into their mother's
womb for shelter Come I'll defer my joys no longer. I'll
erect a pyramid made of an entire diamond in memory
of this deed. I cannot contain myself my breast is too narrow
for my joys this letter hath made me happy above the
reach of misery. I'll triumph for this good news, arches of stars
shall grace the solemnity. Poverty I ever banish thee the earth.
Hence leaden care with thy dull sister sorrow to hell. Pleasure
shall leave the Gods and dwell with mortals I'll bring
back the golden age. Plenty in a flood of liquid golden
flowing from my Indian mines shall swim about the world.
<S  CRAFT>
He is transported, I'll draw nearer.
<S  POL>
What more news? From whence comes thou?
<S  CRAFT>
From the blessed Elyzium happy fairyland.
<S  POL>
From fairyland?
<S  CRAFT>
From that blessed place which to enrich nature hath impoverished
herself and the world besides.
<S  POL>
Where lies this place thou so much praiseth?
<S  CRAFT>
It is situated under rising Phoebus who blushes every morning
when he climbs our Hemisphere to see his light eclipsed by purer
rays which red-eyed rubies mixed with pearl and diamonds that
lie scattered on the surface of our happy ground displays.
<S  POL>
Pearl and diamonds! This is most strange.
Alas sir it is the smallest part of this blessed region's praises. The
rivers that creep along the flowery bosom of this blessed earth flows
nectar or disolved pearl. Antiquity hath wronged this blessed place by
telling of Hesperian gardens and their rich fruit. Tis here that every
tree sweats under his golden burden amber and precious gums
poorer mortals of this lower region would buy with provinces.
Jason's fleece was stole hence where the poorest worm glitters
in a fur of purest gold.
<S  POL>
Montsrous! What towns are there?
<S  CRAFT>
Towns walled in with dianonds or with richer stones. The streets
are paved with emeralds and the houses cut out of pearl with
spiring tops threaten the enameled sky.
<S  POL>
Doth not the mighty Oberon rule there?
C craft>
In his youth he was the fortunate prince of that blessed region
but grown old he finds the purple too heavy and his trembling
hand unapt to sway the weighty sceptor of so vast an empire. To
be brief he is resolved to rule in beds of down and leave majesty
in his golden throne to be enjoyed by him whose vigorous youth and
clear-eyed judgment shall enable for so great a charge.
<S  POL>
On my conscience good fortune I think courts me. I plainly see
I may join fairyland to my Indies. Who art thou?
<S  CRAFT>
The man I must cease to be when my great master resigns. I am
secretary to aged Oberon employed to find out happy he on whose happy
brows the Fates have decreed shall shine the rubies of the fairy diadem.
<S  POL>
And hast thou not yet found him?
<S  CRAFT>
My weary steps hath carried me through more kingdoms than ever
the glorious eye of day beheld, and yet this treasure so much sought
lies hid. All the sparks of comfort which gives motion to my
wearied limbs is his name the sullen Oracle would reveal no more.
<S  POL>
I prethee how callst thou him?
<S  CRAFT>
His name suits with his nature the Delphian flamen styled him
<S  POL>
Heavens! This name surpasses the music of the spheres
speak it again.
<S  CRAFT>
Politico.
<S  POL>
My joys so swell me that I must have vent or burst. Begone
outrun the winds and bless the fairy region with this news
Politico is found cause bells to ring
For now begins the triumphs of their king.
<S  CRAFT>
Stay stay my soul let not this killing joy entice thee forth. O ye
celestial powers who have raised me to a bliss I could scarce hope for,
the richest francinsence the world affords shall feed your sacred fires. But
can it be Politico is found?
<S  POL>
Nay if thou turns infidel I have done. View me all over
and if thou finds a bit as big as my nail about me which is not Politico
I'll forfeit all my hopes in fairyland. I cannot quote
the church book for my name because it is uncertain
where I was born or who was my father. But you may
tell the fairy lords I'll be bound to bring 7 sufficient userers
that shall show Politico in black and white for monies
I have owed above this 12 years I am sure their charity
will not let them blot it out for they are not paid yet
nor are not like till I am king of fairies.
<S  CRAFT>
It is a crime to delay any longer. The light shall not be more
swift than my paces to bring this news to fairyland.
<S  POL>
Let thy return be sudden I long to be in my
kingdom.
<S  CRAFT>
It shall dread leige.
((exit Craft))
<S  POL>
O dear fairyland! I'll home and sell all I haue that I
may be able to give a largise to my subjects at my entry.
We Politicians must do so.
((exit))
((act 2))
((scene 1))
((Enter Oliver Spendal's boy))
<S  OLI>
Slid I think userers dwell with the devil they are
not to be found above ground. I have been hunting one
drife foot all this morning and cannot get scent of him   yet I
am sure there is not a polecat in the town carries half the
I'll to a cunning man he will direct me to the devil and then I
am sure to light on Covet for such dear friends cannot live apart.
These userers are strange cattle when they are to receive
money they anticipate the time and sooner shall you
miss the air than not light on them but when they are
to pay. The Philosopher's stone is not more hard to be found
than they are. If I meet not with him presently poor Oliver
goes to pot. I left my master in a tavern who measures
my return by his glasses if it be not speedy and with the
monies he sent me for he will make my crown of Claret
hew. I'll knock here at adventure it looks like a userer's
house it is so barricaded. Lives not Mr Covet here?
((he knocks))
<S  SER>
Sir who are you? What is your business?
<S  OLI>
Sure this fellow is akin to a justice of peace he asks so many
questions and answers none. Why, I am as thou seest a thing that
crawls on 2 legs and my business is to speak with thy master.
<S  SER>
My master gives audience to none but those that comes on money
matters and brings bags with them.
<S  OLI>
Nay then I am for thy master speaking with, I bring him
bags tell him (aside) but they are to fill.
<S  SER>
Sir he shall be with you immediately.
((exit servant))
<S  OLI>
I doubt not. I have sent a charm would fetch him from his
prayers if he said any,
((scene 3))
((enter Covet))
<S  COV>
Sweet heart i do not know thy face but it is no matter thy
money will make us acquainted.
<S  OLI>
At least sir this paper shall.
((Covet reads the letter and walks))
<S  COV>
Thou art not afraid of spirits art thou?
<S  OLI>
Monstrously sir I dare not lie alone.
<S  COV>
Nay then thou canst not help us. Prithe tell thy master a sad
disaster keeps his money from him.
<S  OLI>
Sad indeed he will not be able to drink sack if it hold.
<S  COV>
Tell him my house is haunted. The devil is never out of my
<S  OLI>
Ha!
<S  COV>
Sometimes he appears in one shape sometimes in another.
If thou wilt thou mayst go in and see him, it may be he will
use thee better than us,
<S  OLI>
It is very unlikely I being a stranger and you his domestic
friends and companions.
<S  COV>
To be plain if thou wilt have thy master's money thou must
go fetch it from the devil.
<S  OLI>
My master shall fetch it himself or make you fetch it. I'll home
and tell him so. Doth he send me of a message to the devil?
((exit Oliver))
<S  COV>
Thou traitor. Did not I forbid you to let me speak with any
but such as brought money?
<S  SER>
True and it please your worship and had not he said
that he brought bags, he should have had a positive negative
answer that you were not within.
<S  COV>
Get thee in thou rascal for thy pennance thou shalt feed on
nothing but thyself this 3 weeks.
<S  SER>
I beseech you sir!
<S  COV>
Provoke not my anger varlet if it were not for wearing out
my cane I would -
<S  SER>
Be pitiful sir.
<S  COV>
You rascal -
((he strikes him))
<S  SER>
Oh, O! O!
((exit servant))
<S  COV>
Now must I strive to stave off the master as I have done
the man. I'll to my old friend Craft he'll teach me more the
art of cosening in a day than I should learn by my private
study in a year.
((exit Covet))
((scene 4))
((enter Snap and Shift))
<S  SNAP>
But did he say he would be here presently?
<S  SHIFT>
Immediately Losserello is almost mad to be enchanted he hath
been with Craft 6 times in less than a quarter of an hour. There is
no delaying him any longer unless we spoil all. For he cannot
possibly keep it secret but will proclaim it and some friend or
other will discover him the cheat and then our market is
spoiled.
<S  SNAP>
I apprehend thee prithe fetch instantly the clothes we borrowed
a charm the meanwhile.
((exit Shift))
By this light I think I degenerate. I was born at Pentlow
Hill and my grannam was vilely suspected for a witch and yet
cannot I make a counterfeit charm. Well it shall be so.
Shift make haste with the clothes we shall be surprized else.
<S  SHIFT>
I come I come I want your peruwig. Here haste let me be
dressed first, I am the chiefer person.
<S  SNAP>
Not so you son of a tinder box I hope the witch is better than the
devil at any time.
<S  SHIFT>
Come you are so peevish you must have your will. Give me your
clothes. But well remember I must necessarily be dressed first.
<S  SNAP>
Why so Shift?
<S  SHIFT>
That you being the witch may have the devil to dress you.
<S  SNAP>
I conceive you be quick.
<S  SHIFT>
How doth this habit become me?
<S  SNAP>
O rarely, it is pity thou shouldst ever wear other.
<S  SHIFT>
Give me the visard.
<S  SNAP>
Faith thou needst none, thy face is like a visard.
<S  SHIFT>
Tis no matter, it is good to be complete. How dost like me now?
<S  SNAP>
O most ugly Belzebub cannot show a worser countenance. I dare
be bold to say thy shape and manners will make thee pass
for a devil in any part of Christiandom.
<S  SHIFT>
Now let us to thee.
<S  SNAP>
Not so hasty saucebox I'll be dressed as neatly and with as much
discretion as ere a lady witch in Lapland. Run in and fetch
me a looking glass.
<S  SHIFT>
A looking glass! Is there nere a frying pan in the room. Take
the ladle take the ladle.
<S  SNAP>
You'll do as I bid you or for all you are the devil I'll be bold
to beat you.
<S  SHIFT>
Well Grampogna I must obey there is more ado with one witch
than 40 devils.
((exit and presently enters with a glass))
<S  SHI>
Here thou canst not see a worser face than thy one though thou shouldst
travel over the 17 provinces.
<S  SNAP>
Does not my hair become me?
Excellently. Medusa's snakes made not a better show than these
curls. Come put on your beldameship's nightgown.
<S  SNAP>
How likes thou me now?
<S  SHIFT>
Rarely I fear the devil will fall in love with thee and carry thee
to hell with him and then shall I be forced to come Orpheus-like with
a Jews harp and sing a pitiful song to recover thee.
<S  SNAP>
Whist, somebody comes. Run or we are betrayed.
((scene 5))
((enter Covet and Craft))
<S  CRAFT>
Spirits! It's a simple devise, it may frighten children, but for
Spendall he is a gallant and too familiar with the devil to fear
Spirits.
<S  COVET>
I am undone then unless thy council redeem me.
<S  CRAFT>
Well thought upon. Spendall is a most abominable coward
go home and give out thy house is possessed with a giant. Spendall
will conceive it a trick and come to you with open mouth
for his money. But before I will send you one that shall look so
dreadfully that he shall frighten him into any conditions and not
only force him to remit the old debt but engage himself
in a new to get safely off.
<S  COV>
Most admirable council and better worth than the unconscionable
fees of a lawyer which I could afford to give thee were it
not for putting myself to charges. Well I'll home and put it
in execution instantly.
<S  CRAFT>
Be speedy delay spoils all
((exit Covet))
go ten in the hundred deceive others and be thyself deceived the time shall
come when thou shalt pay me a 100 for 10 out of those heaps
of gold thou now sits brooding over and that without interest
too. But to my business Snap and Shift what not ready yet?
((scene 6))
((enter Snap and Shift))
<S  SNAP>
Almost an hour ago. Slid what made you bring Covet this way?
He had almost discovered us.
<S  CRAFT>
Tut I knew what I did. He saw you not. He is grown purblind
with counting his gold by candlelight.
<S  SHIFT>
When comes Loserello?
Within this half hour I put him off till then to speak with Politico.
<S  SNAP>
Faith thy delays will spoil all.
<S  CRAFT>
I'll warrant you. Are the children attired like witches?
<S  SHIFT>
They are.
<S  CRAFT>
And both of you knows what you are to do?
<S  SNAP>
I know my part if Shift knows his.
<S  SHIFT>
Take you no thought for me.
<S  CRAFT>
Well then in my brace of baboons and carry the business neatly.
<S  SNAP>
I hope you bid him bring money with him besides the grand sum we
are to receive for his enchantment.
<S  CRAFT>
He shall have his pockets full of goldfinches boys.
<S  SHIFT>
It shall be my province to take the birds.
<S  SNAP>
And let it be your province to be true to your companions and not
deceive us as you were wont.
<S  SHIFT>
Well stinkard you are always hitting me in the teeth with old done
deeds.
<S  SNAP>
You mongrel I'll make you give better words.
<S  SHIFT>
Come on you dog-leach I'll -
<S  CRAFT>
S'death you abominable pair of mastiff leave off snarling
and be one again or by this light I will make you both hawk's
meat shall my plots so wisely brought on and by my discretion
managed be broken in the shell by a couple of tadpoles?
<S  SNAP>
Why he -
<S  CRAFT>
Murmuring yet Scarabe? Slid I hear somebody coming in
you rascals and not a syllable. or .
((scene 7))
((enter Politico))
<S  POL>
An excellent change, and beseeming a fairy prince. I am no longer
a private man  those dusty acres that styled me master are now
turned to a more refined substance. I applaud my wit that was able
to work so rare a metamorphosis as to make of land gold. It
will be rare at my entry to the fairy crown to make these golden
birds in clusters sing my liberality to my subjects. Bless me
my genius so soon returned? What news from fairyland?
<S  COV>
your blood curdle when you hear it.
<S  POL>
What are my hopes then blasted? Am I not king? Forever Phoebus
dive into the deep let not thy pure rays be conscious to so
black a treason. Not king? With this Herculian arm I'll break
the adamantine gates of Dis and let out night to hang the world
in mourning for my loss. I am mad, I am mad. Arm
arm ye Furies come to war against heaven, I'll be your captain a
fiercer charge than ere the earthborn brood gave to Olympus
shall tell the frightened gods I am wronged. Come come ye powers of
hell what stir ye not? Nay then I see it is you that were the actors
of this grand mischief. I'll to Jove's armory and thence fetch
thunder with which I'll break your strongest adamant and let
in day to fright your ghosts.
<S  CRAFT>
He is mad indeed, great sir.
<S  POL>
Screach owl be silent or my just revenge swifter than lightning
shall make thee meat for Furies. Not king? These words
include more deaths than hell could ever boast of.
<S  CRAFT>
#hear me great prince.
<S  POL>
Thy breath is infectious it is more killing
than a mandrake's groan.
<S  CRAFT>
Politico is king.
<S  POL>
Ha what angel's voice calls back my soul from Radamant's black
gates? I did but dream I heard myself styled king.
<S  CRAFT>
The thickest shoals of envious clouds that strive to mask
the glorious eye of day, Sol's golden rays like pointed daggers
stob as traitors; and shall your refulgent virtues mighty prince
be eclipsed by a counterfeit lustre it cannot be a glow-worm
should outshine the sun or so poor a thing as Losserelo vey
with great Politico.
<S  POL>
Ha! Loserello? By my great hopes I'll cut him into atoms and
scatter them before the northern winds. Loserello between me
and the fairy diadem? By heavens I'll pull pale death from
out his iron den and hurl him at the monster.
<S  CRAFT>
which must light you to your revenge.
<S  POL>
My wrongs my wrongs will do it. Should he hide himself where
the earth hides all her riches my wrongs would light me to him
and my just anger powerful as Jove's thunder strike him dead.
<S  CRAFT>
Let not your forward valour throw away a life so precious to the
gods as yours. The varlet knowing whom he wronged and fearing
your just vengence should meet his crime never walks but guarded
with a band of soldiers dare encounter armies.
<S  POL>
Did Furies guard him, or were he hegged with lightning I
would through and kill him.
<S  CRAFT>
Your courage mighty sir speaks you more than man and
only worthy that great dignity the
Fates have decreed you but let not your valour open
a passage for your enemies to reach that life all the Gods seek
to preserve and which once gone the world must needs deplore
it with a universal sorrow. Let wisdom steer your actions and
mortals know your prudence is as great as your courage which to
your enemies portends more ill than 1000 flaming comets .
might I be worthy to dictate to your thoughts I could suggest a
secure and ready way to your just vengence.
<S  POL>
Secure and ready speak it and thou shalt be my better genius.
the greatest honours the fairy court can give shall be conferred upon
thee I will make thee viceroy under me.
<S  CRAFT>
Thus then sir may you expiate your wrongs with the traitor's
life. Some streets off lives one Covet a userer whose gold hath
caused all your trouble for here he raised large sums
with which he bribed your fairy peers to take him for their prince.
Hither some 6 hours hence he'll come for fresh supplies
and here you may take your just revenge of him my letter shall
gain you entrance to the userer.
<S  POL>
Alas it is too long to defer the pleasures of a kingdom.
<S  CRAFT>
you are crowned to proceed to justice and execute the traitor.
<S  POL>
Fly back with wings of haste and tell my subjects I attend their
coming to tender their allegiance they owe their prince.
<S  CRAFT>
I go sir but where shall I find your grace at my return with
the fairy lords?
<S  POL>
At my house, my palace I should say I must accustom myself
to more kingly terms.
<S  CRAFT>
The gods preserve your majesty.
<S  POL>
This is to be confident I durst never fight in my whole life,
yet by making this show of valour knowing my enemy to be a
worser coward than myself I shall have my name enrolled among
the worthies of fairyland. Well I'll home and set my house in order
to receive the fairy lords.
((act 3))
((scene 1))
((enter Craft and Loserello))
<S  CRAFT>
Slid where have you been all this while? The devil hath expected
you this 2 hours. I had much ado to hold him he was going away in
a snuff.
<S  LOSS>
I hope he is not gone.
<S  CRAFT>
No it cost me something to stay him.
<S  LOS>
What didst give him?
<S  CRAFT>
By this light he was in such a choler at your stay I was forced to send for
a whole butt of wine to cool him. It was for your sake I hope
you'll pay for it.
<S  LOS>
Pay for it? I'll pay for it twice over. Thou shalt get as much by me
as my hostess. But prithe tell me doth the devil love wine?
<S  CRAFT>
Monstrously! What do you think makes so many vintners break in the
City but his ungodly gut that fetches a whole hogshead at a draught?
<S  LOS>
Nay I like him neer the worse because he is a good fellow.
<S  CRAFT>
Good fellow! Why there is never a frolic or jovial meeting in the town but
he is the chief at it. The ranters were taught that noble quality of drinking
and swearing by him.
<S  LOS>
Thou tellst me wonders I hope I shall creep into his company
after my enchantment.
Thou shalt lad I'll bring thee acquainted with him. I am no small man
in his favour my brother is chief butler of his wine cellar if thy
occasions call thee to hell I doubt not but for my sake thou shalt be
devilishly entertained and damnably welcome.
<S  LOS>
I shall think of embracing this courtesy when I am old and weary
of king Oberon's court for I am resolved to spend the last part of my life
in drinking. But now let us to our business for if we delay the devil
too long he will have the other touch at it and what a score then shall
I have to wipe off?
<S  CRAGT>
I will call him and my grannam to dispatch you presently.
<S  LOS>
But stay didst not tell me the devil drunk a whole butt?
<S  CRAFT>
Marry did he. #do you think #i would cosen you?
<S  LOS>
No, no. But dost think the devil is yet sober? If he should enchant me
in his drink and it prove viod I were in a fine pickle.
<S  CRAFT>
Best of all when he is drunk. What he does then is most efficatious.
<S  LOS>
Nay then he shall have the other cup here are 5 pieces bid him
drink this for my sake.
<S  CRAFT>
I go I go.
((exit Craft))
<S  LOS>
When I am enchanted, I am resolved to fall in league with all the
balladmakers in the town. They shall write my adventures. It will get
them more money I am confident, than the famous history of Tom Thumb,
Guy of Warrick or Bevis of Southampton for I am resolved
to fight with none but giants and those of the largest size. But here
comes Craft and his grannam.
((scene 2))
((enter Craft and the Witch))
<S  CRAFT>
Here she is.
<S  LOS>
What that old hag?
<S  CRAFT>
Peace, peace she hath ridden comets within half an hour on
a distaff for your sake salute her I say.
<S  LOS>
Thou wouldst not have me kiss the devil.
<S  CRAFT>
Better language she approaches down on your knees and
ask her blessing while I present you to her.
But where is the devil must I not have his blessing too?
<S  CRAFT>
He will come bye and bye he is within a-drinking, now down on your
knees and wriggle she hath a stately presence I'll speak for you: most
learned madam of the Laplanders this gentleman my precious friend pricked
forward with a noble desire of getting honour in king Oberon's court
implores your powerful spells to make him invincible it is a favour I
confess and great one which he asks. But if your beldamship please to grant
it you shall find him as dutiful and as ready to serve you as any
devil you have.
<S  LOS>
Thou wouldst not have me wait upon the witch wouldst thou?
<S  CRAFT>
Peace, hear what my grannam says.
<S  WIT>
I fear he is not capable of incantation. Hath he anything transitory
about him?
<S  CRAFT>
Madam he shall be searched,
<S  LOS>
Who shall search me?
<S  CRAFT>
Why who should? The devil man, dost not know that?
<S  LOS>
Prithe ask thy grannam whether thou mayst not. I am very
loath to have the devil so near about me he smells so strong of
brimstone.
<S  CRAFT>
I'll try what I can do. You must not be so nice when you come
about these businesses. Madam the gentleman desires you'll dispense
with his being searched by the devil.
<S  WIT>
It cannot be granted our spell will not fasten on him as long
as he keeps a cross of coin about him.
<S  CRAFT>
With your beldame's leave madam to do my friend a courtesy
I'll purify him from all the dross that may check your great
work and hinder his incantation.
<S  WIT>
Well do it but if you have not all we shall be troubled to have
the devil search him over again.
<S  CRAFT>
I hope there will be no need. His discretion will not let him conceal
anything.
<S  LOS>
No by this light will I not.
<S  CRAFT>
It is not your best way if you intend to enroll your name among
the worthies of fairyland do not conceal a penny. Where lies
<S  LOS>
In my fob.
<S  CRAFT>
Is here all?
<S  LOS>
Ay every penny.
<S  CRAFT>
I will give it my grannam to dispose of. Madam the gentleman
sends you this to bestow in charity upon poor
hobgoblins.
<S  WIT>
Child call in Mistophiles your friend is false here is not all.
<S  CRAFT>
Now you are in a fine pickle the devil must come and
search you.
<S  LOS>
Dear Craft speak for me to thy grannam as I am a gentleman
I have not more than a crown in gold my Mrs
gave.
<S  CRAFT>
And would you undo yourself for a trifle? Cast it away presently
I had rather you should have thown 20 crowns away
than have concealed it. I'll make an apology for you
to my Grannam. So you have no more. As you love yourself confess
for when the devil comes he will smell it, and then he will
so pinch you your body will not be in case this 6 weeks. Besides
if you conceal anything the charm will be of no force
and then if you have your brains beaten out with a giant's
club thank yourself.
<S  LOS>
No Craft as I hope to be a knight of fairyland I have not
anything in the shape of money.
<S  CRAFT>
Madam my friend implores your beldamship's pardon for
a fault not covetousness but love made him commit the money
bag his mistress' favour he sought to preserve.
<S  WIT>
We pardon him bid him draw near that we may stroke
him and then begin the Orgies.
<S  CRAFT>
Go to her you hear what she says.
<S  LOS>
Ay but of what size are her nails? I fear she will claw
me now for thinking to cosen her.
<S  CRAFT>
Be of good courage my grannam is a gentle creature.
<S  WIT>
Come child of perdition.
<S  LOS>
Oh ho ho!
((A Charm 1))
<S  WIT>
Thus thus I do begin
To put thee on another skin
Which shall sword and spear repel.
Come ye spirits that do dwell
In the deeps of Acharone
Bring me Cerberus his foam.
Come ye watery spirits all
Bring with you unto the spell
The sacred juice of Lethe's well.
Bring the poison of Aechidne
We'll make him soon as mad as we be.
<S  LOS>
Madam dear madam I beseech you hear me.
<S  WIT>
Peace varlot.
<S  LOS>
I am not acquainted with the constitution of every devil
wherefore I beseech your beldameship to make as few as
possibly you can acquainted with my enchantment. Speak for
me Craft.
<S  CRAFT>
You may be sure she will do it the best way she can.
((charm 2))
<S  WIT>
Come ye goblins that do creep
Through doors when the maids are asleep,
Bring the entrails of the rat
With the mewings of the cat.
Ye nimble fauns and silvans all
Be not absent at our call
Gather hemlock at midnight,
When as Cynthia's shineth bright.
Gather night shade Hellabore
With the mandrake's groans uptore,
Bring me moles' eyes adders' tongues
Bring the croaking toad's lungs.
Come ye spirits of the air
To our charms make swift repair.
Bring me poison from the moon
And be present with us soon.
<S  LOS>
Craft prithe ask thy grannam what must be done
with all this she calls for if it be to be eaten she should have
given me notice of it beforehand that I might have
prepared my stomach here is as much as will keep me chewing
this sennight,
<S  WIT>
Where is my brasen knife I'll wound my arm
And as it bleeds I'll speak a charm
Shall make the fairies rise from deepest hell
And force these sluggish spirits to our spell.
((charm 3))
<S  WIT>
From Stygian deeps black night arise
And spread thy sables over the spangled skies.
Hell's power is condemned ye armed furies come
And join with me in Chaos for to turn
Earth air and heaven. Nay quick or I will send
Through earth's dark bosom murmurs that shall rend
In pieces the black gates of Dis and lay
Avernus open to approaching day.
<S  LOS>
when first I thouhgt of being enchanted she hath called for
the furies and when they come for certain they will eat
me. Craft where art thou?
<S  CRAFT>
Here.
<S  LOS>
Art thou not afraid?
<S  CRAFT>
No no be of good courage.
<S  LOS>
What doth thy grannam do?
<S  CRAFT>
She is holding conference with the devil.
<S  WIT>
Nay then I'll make the elements to fight
Midnight I'll turn to day midday to night.
I'll murmur out a charm shall make the moon
Poisoned efrighted from out her silver chariot come.
Nor yet my rage begins to swell
Darkness devil's night and hell
I charge ye straight obey my spell.
O does it take thee? The earth begins to tremble the
spirits are in their rise bring me fresh vervine to bind my
head.
<S  LOS>
Alas Craft what will become of me?
<S  CRAFT>
Expect with patience and admiration the event.
<S  LOSS>
I would give my legs and arms to come well off.
<S  WIT>
Keep keep your circle if from thence you stray
To black Avernus presently away
Furies in snake bands will drag your soul
Where it with flames tortured for ere shall howl.
<S  LOS>
I beseech your beldameship may not Craft be in the circle
with me I dare not be alone.
<S  CRAFT>
Why I shall be enchanted too ?
<S  LOS>
What then? I hope your betters are enchanted.
<S  CRAFT>
Why then the devil must have double pay and by my faith
I cannot go to the cost of it.
<S  LOS>
I will sell the rest of my land but thou shall be enchanted
too, I am resolved to make thee my lance prosade
when I am dubbed Sir Loserello del Fumo by Oberon.
<S  CRAFT>
On these conditions I come to you.
((the devil rises out of the ground))
<S  WIT>
How darest thou thus delay my powerful charm?
Did not the accents of my voice alarm
Hell and the furies? Didst not quake to hear
The horrid murmurs that my words did bear?
<S  DEV>
To fetch these simples which from thence I bear.
<S  WIT>
What hast thou brought?
<S  DEV>
In this vial mixed be
The strongest poisons of Tatrar.
Here is Achonit overgrown,
Here is Cerberus his foam,
Here is Alecto's milk Tisiphone's hair
Mixed with the viper's blood she doth wear.
Here is an adder Megaera did breed
With the dire poison whereon she doth feed.
Here is sacred Lethe's juice
Which in charms you want to use.
<S  WIT>
Well done my fine for this thou then shalt suck
My blood until my veins be quite dried up.
But first back to the Stygian shades repair
And fetch for Craft the magic lute left there
By Orpheus when for his Euridice
He was a suppliant to great Hecate.
<S  LOS>
Hark Craft preferement is coming to thee thou must be arch fiddler to the
devil.
<S  CRAFT>
Peace peace.
((the devil brings the lute))
<S  LOS>
Why sirrah are you so unmannerly as not to make a hand and kiss your leg
to the devil?
((enter the 2 witch))
<S  WIT>
Speak hag where hast thou been?
What hast thou done what dost thou bring?
<S  WIT 2>
I have been gathering Cyprus bows
Fig tree leaves and poppy that grows
In yonder churchyard where I have
Killed a sexton making a grave.
((enter the 3 witch))
<S  WIT>
Where were you? I charge you tell
Why you did delay my spell?
<S  WIT 3>
I heard your charm and I went to call
The snakes bred under yonder wall.
I spoke a spell and out they came
And here is their blood with the toad's brain.
<S  WIT>
Well done my hag for this thou then shalt be
In our great art the chiefest next to me.
((enter the 4 witch))
<S  WIT>
Another late. What caused this delay
Thou meagre hag I charge thee straight to say.
<S  WIT 4>
I have been gathering wolves' hairs
The mad dog's foam and adders' ears
A mandrake out of the earth I have tore
Here is all this what would you have more?
<S  WIT>
This vervine garland of my own.
((enter another witch 5))
<S  WIT>
Come meagre hag tell what hath wrought
This this thy delay what hast thou brought?
<S  WIT 5>
I have brought you children's fat
The dead men's bones which you did lack
Here is the basilisk's blood and the viper's skin
And now your Orgies you may begin.
<S  WIT>
Come hags and furies hedge me round
Whilst the magic timbrils sound
Perform just rites to Hecate
To the ground each bend a knee.
<S  LOS>
Craft must not we kneel too?
<S  CRAFT>
No no!
<S  LOS>
Why you rascal will you not do as your better do before you?
Do not you see the devil kneel and the witch your grannam?
<S  WIT>
So so my hags these rites are well performed
For all our simples are to serpents turned
Rise then and dance a magic round
About me whilst I bury in the ground.
Our mixed poisons which shall infuse a spirit
Into this lad shall make him soon inherit
The fairy region and cast down
Giants whose weight will shake the ground.
<S  LOS>
Hark Craft she says I must inherit fairyland and kill giants
too.
<S  CRAFT>
Why so you must I'll warrant you. Do you think my grannam
and the devil takes all these pains for nothing?
<S  LOS>
O it will be rare the boys will adore me when they hear I
am enchanted and how I kill giants.
((here is to be exhibited an antic))
((dance of witches))
<S  WIT>
Enough my hags now each dispense
Upon this lad her influence.
Rub him over that he neer feel
The point or edge of biting steel
Take him by the nose and pull it.
<S  LOS>
Oh, oh, O!
<S  WIT>
He is now free from sword and bullet.
Our charm is done now each hag go
Quickly home for the Cock doth crow.
((*exeunt *veneficae *Omnes *praeter *jam))
<S  LOS>
Craft am I sufficiently enchanted thinks thou?
<S  CRAFT>
Thou art my Roseclero thank my grannam for it.
<S  LOS>
the devil did.
<S  CRAFT>
You see she hath taken extraordinary pains she must
be considered.
<S  LOS>
She shall thou devil's darling what shall I give her?
<S  CRAFT>
Ene what you will, you have fairyland enough faith
give her those dirty acres you have here they will serve
her to dance the hey in with her witches by
moonlight.
<S  LOS>
She shall have it my rascal and I will have thee to be my
Lance Prosade to carry my sword and shield before me through
the bloody fields of Mars.
<S  CRAFT>
Here comes my grannam down on your knees and
thank her.
<S  LOS>
Honoured lady of Laplanders I your newly valiant servant
thank you and in token of gratitude vows to wear
your beldamship's picture painted on my shield it will make
me pass for a knight of the maidenhead how likes thou
the device Craft?
<S  CRAFT>
Rarely, it will look so like Medusa's countenance it will be
taken for your mistress' picture.
<S  WIT>
My valiant boy I do impart
Such courage to thee shall make start
The stoutest Giants and thee bring
To be of fairies crowned king.
((exit witch))
<S  LOS>
Thanks gracious madam.
<S  CRAFT>
Kiss her departing part.
<S  LOS>
Is she gone?
<S  CRAFT>
Ay, I'll warrant you a 1000 miles by this.
<S  LOS>
Now rascal, let us to the giant, I have a monstrous mind
to try the toughness of my new constitution.
<S  CRAFT>
Tis too soon yet, go home and let the charm settle upon
you 2 or 3 hours and then to the combat.
<S  LOS>
Marry and thou sayest right, it shall be so.
((act 4))
((scene 1))
((enter spendall with tapsters armed with
clubs. the vintner's boy carrying the colours, a quart
pot on the top of a pole. each instead of a belt
having a hoop cross him with a pot tied to it. in this
equipage a barrel beaten before them for a drum,
one with a tobacco pipe for a flute, playing by the
drummer, they march 2 or 3 times about the stage.))
Stand. 1 stand. 4 stand.
<S  SPEN>
Corporal?
<S  -4>
Corporal?
<S  CORP>
By and by, anon, anon sir.
<S  -5>
Troop up to our captain.
<S  CORP>
I must prime first.
Now noble captain what is your will?
<S  SPEN>
Bare the word of command to our soldiers, bid them stand
in their rows and charge. Tell them we are bent on service.
<S  CORP>
Gentlemen and soldiers, you hear what our captain says.
<S  ALL>
We do, we do.
<S  -6>
Help me to pull out my gun-stick.
<S  -7>
Hold my pick till I prime.
<S  SPEN>
Are all ready?
<S  ALL>
All, all.
<S  SPEN>
Take the word of command, give fire.
((they all drink))
Done like valiant sons of Mars and Bacchus. Sirrah, put
down the drum for me to sit on whilst I speak to my
soldiers.
Gentlemen and fellows in arms, I cannot doubt your valour
whose invincible crowns I know to have been battered
with pots of all sizes and yet not subdued, whom I know
to have demanded a reckoning of the roaring boys
when Bacchus hath triumphed in their bloods and dared to
call Mars coward. I cannot say I doubt your courage
being so well acquainted with your passive fortitudes how
you have been cudgled by all nations and almost all
religions knowing how your valiant hinder parts have
defied the feet of all living and encountered more
toes than there are knaves in the kingdom, but to show
the weakness of the foe we are to deal with all and the
rich garland which will crown the victory, my
valiant Hectors I address myself to you. Thus far under
my bloody standard have you marched uncontrolled.
The castle we are to lay seige to is in sight where
all the resistance like to me your approved valour
is what Covet and his cat can make. I doubt not but now
Mars is dancing a Caranto in your blood and you are
already scaling the walls destroying the userer, this enemy
Confound this rat of Nilus, this monster. But why do I say
monster? This devil, this sacreligious devil that hath imprisioned
infinite golden angels in his mouldy coffers. Hark they
implore  your valiant hands to set them at liberty. And for reward
promise themselves yours.
<S  DRAW1>
By this light and we will do it.
<S  DRAW2>
March forward captain.
<S  SPEN>
Spoke like sons of Mars, take up the drum boy and beat
a dreadful march before us.
((scene 2))
((enter craft))
<S  CRAFT>
Help, help, or we are all destroyed.
<S  SPEN>
What is the matter?
<S  CRAFT>
Sir rally up your valiant followers and for the public
safety attempt the encounter of a giant who hath within
this quarter of an hour destroyed 3000 citizens. His iron club
neer falls but it sends more to the Sygian lake than
Charon can ferry over at once.
<S  SPEN>
Where, where is?
<S  CRAFT>
He lives at a userer's called Covet and now is destroying the
people 2 streets off. Hark do you not hear the cries of
dying men?
<S  -1>
#marry do #i.
<S  -2>
And I too.
<S  -3>
And I Roger as plain as if I were by them.
<S  CRAFT>
What will not fear do?
<S  -4>
Captain, you know it was not in our articles when we listed
ourselves under you to kill giants.
<S  SPEN>
It was not, neither do I intend it. My valiant friends retire,
I count him most courageous that hides himself securest.
<S  ALL>
We'll do our best then to prove ourselves valiant.
<S  -1>
Stay Peter take me along with you, I cannot run
so fast.
<S  CRAFT>
What power hath fear over base minds. I have
dispatched these, now must I to my fairy lords. Snap and Shift,
what not ready yet?
<S  SNAP>
All are ready besides us and we have newly put off our
conjuring habits.
<S  CRAFT>
Ye have taught the children how to behave themselves?
Can they do the dance?
<S  SNAP>
Excellently.
<S  CRAFT>
<S  SHIFT>
And their fingers' ends.
<S  CRAFT>
Good. By this light I hear somebody coming, for certain it is
Politico. In and be ready presently. I appointed him to be
here just at this time.
((scene 3))
((enter Politico in a fairy habit))
<S  CRAFT>
The Gods preserve our mighty prince Politico.
<S  POL>
How likes thou me now? Shall I not be more pleasing to my
subjects thus attired than in the weeds of mortality?
<S  CRAFT>
You will, dread leige. For trust me, even so with such a
graceful majesty and so attired was ancient Oberon when
by the voice of all the fairy lords he was chose king of our vast
empire.
<S  POL>
When will my fairy peers arrive?
<S  CRAFT>
They attend your grace expecting when they may be admitted
to your presence to perform their allegiance.
<S  POL>
Bid them enter.
<S  CRAFT>
Shift, are you ready?
<S  SHIFT>
Yes, yes, is it time to come in?
<S  CRAFT>
Ay, ay, presently.
((scene 4))
((the music sounding, enter
one bearing the Eutacusticon. another a
wooden sword. the 3 a sceptor, the 4 an
old cloak for a purple))
<S  FAR1>
Illustrious prince, though your refulgent vitrues gives you
just title to the world's empire, though your valour which speaks you
more than Mars and prudence wiser than Apollo
have with their refulgent rays dazzled the eyes of kings
and forced them to lay their crowns and sceptors at your feet
which, notwithstanding, your greatness hath spurned at as not
worthy the touch of your royal hand.
<S  POL>
True, Prester John hath courted me I know not how
oft to ease him of his purple and sway his golden sceptor
telling me the rubies of his diadem would have a far brighter
lustre on my forehead than on his. Tis well known the
great Turk hath often proffered to become Christian on
condition I would wear his turban, yet I could not find in my heart
my greatness I should not have room to expatiate in.
<S  FAR2>
Notwithstanding these great proffers mighty Sir deign to
wear this fairy diadem which though it now appears rough and
hairy to your sight inured to mortal objects will, when you have
shaked off your mortality, discover more radiant light than
the spangled firmament when left by the lamp of day and
project forth such pure rays as shall confirm mortals, not Phoebus
but you enlighten them. It is lined with fortune's apron and
therefore ought to sit but on his head who is her darling and
the world's glory.
<S  FAR3>
Take great prince this sword made by the destines wherein
are wrought the fates of mortals, believe not your eyes
which tells you it is wood. #when once you are purged from the dregs
of mortality, you shall see it brighter than lightning display
flames more killing than Jove's triple thunder, a 1000 deaths
inhabit its point and edge which always wait your beck
to offer bloody sacrifices to your fury.
<S  POL>
Very opportunely with this I'll make Loserello meat for
furies; he shall know what it is to injure kings.
<S  FAR4>
Receive this purple, mighty sir, embroidered over with
fairy diamonds, which though here in this low region they
distain to show their lustre will, when you once enter the
confines of your fairy empire, dart forth such a splendour that
towering eagles will forget the sun and come to try
their young ones by their rays,
<S  FAR5>
This sceptor, great Politico, gives you right to an empire
whose limits the glorious eye of day that at one view
sees what this poor world can show could never yet
discover. Join Africa, Asia, Europe in one province
and take in vast America to make up its greatness, it
will be no more compared with our vast empire than
a nut shell with the world.
Now mighty prince we tender our allegiance to your
that sways the sceptor may command our lives and
fortunes.
((scene 5))
((enter 2 fairies singing
this song, then 4 follows and begins
a dance))
<S
<S  FAR1>
Come ye fairies, come away
Wait no more on Oberon
<S  FAR2>
For  a gloroius sun doth sway
In your fairy horizon.
<S  far1e
Let amarous Thetis now detain
Phoebus in her wavy bowers
<S
This radiant sun which now doth reign
With purer light will ere be ours.
<S  FAR1>
Oberon hath left his throne
Shining with the richest gems
<S  FAR2>
But it is no matter, here is one
Whose head was made for diadems.
<S  FAR1>
See how the linked graces strive
In his face each to excel
<S  FAR2>
Whilst in the radiant orbs his eyes
Do a 1000 Cupids dwell.
<S  FAR1>
The brightest saphire is his skin
His nose is of the richest ruby
<S  FAR2>
Where carbuncles may be seen
Which speaks him plainly Bacchus to be.
<S  FAR1>
View, view how radiant emeralds shine
On his head which doth display,
<S  FAR2>
From fairy diamonds light divine
And purer rays than doth the day.
<S  FAR1>
Come ye fairies, come away
Salute your king now newly crowned
<S  FAR2>
Let this be a holy day
And with sports and triumphs drowned.
<S  FAR1>
Come nimbly dance your fairy ring
Tis ten to one that it may be
<S  FAR2>
A grateful sight unto your king
To see how danceth every fairy.
<S  SONG>
((the dance is then performed which ended
they carry Politico about the stage
in truimph, the rest singing
as followeth))
((a song))
<S  ALL FAR>
<S
Stand Phoebus, stand in the enameled sky
And view these triumphs with thy glorious eye.
Look from the spangled vault and tell us whether
With triumphs great as these was hurried thither.
By his victorious eagles Jove when in
The Phlegon fields the earthborn brood was seen
Forced by his thunder in their mother creep
Look from thy golden car and tell us when
With majesty the king of Gods and men
Equal to this did in Olympus sway,
Or with more glory thou ere rulest the day.
<S  SONG>
<S  POL>
Now, now it is I'll make the Gods to kmow
There rules a power as great as theirs below
Plumbed victory shall to the enamled sky
My chariots draw where I with Jove will try,
Whose right it is to wear the starry crown
And though his surest lightning guard him down
This powerful arm shall throw the God and prove
Me to the frightened world greater than Jove.
((exeunt))
((enter Loserello in armour))
((a drum beaten before him))
((his lance-prosade carrying))
((his shield))
<S  LOS>
Drum again none yet appear for this contempt my
sword shall cut more threads of lives than do the destinies. O
I could demolish whole mankind! A valour thus unregarded.
By my great hopes I'll open springs of blood
shall drowned the world in a crimson deluge. Millions
of lives are too slight a sacrifice for my fury.
Hereafter death shall forget to kill but by my sword which
shall drink more blood of mortals than doth the ocean
rivers. I'll send at once so many souls to Stix shall
sink old Charon's boat and make all after dispair of
seeing Elyzium. Does yet none come. What lethergy
hath seized on mortals? Or hath my looks which bear
more terror than the Thracian Gods with a cold
fear benumbed all their senses if it be so make the drum
roar louder  I will kill them with this fear.
<S  LANS>
Sir here comes a champion.
<S  LOS>
O it seems they can be waked go both of you and summon
him to the fight tell him he shall have the honour
to die by this heroic hand.
((enter spendall))
<S  SPEN>
I am the valiants of all my company. They lie as
close yet as doormice. The love of sack hath overcome
my fear and made me hazard an eating by the giant to get
it. But who are these? On my life  the giant's men  I'll run.
Stay sir stay.
<S  SPEN>
O my urgent occasions pray let me go my business calls me.
<S  LAN>
No business can be of greater 'quence than that we come
about life and death lies on it.
<S  SPEN>
O I am undone!
<S  DRU>>
Not yet sir you may live a quarter of an hour longer
Hear and tremble at what I have to tell you. Our great
master the mighty Loserello, whose very name strikes
terror into mortals whose breath is lightning and whose
words are thunder deigns to let you meet his puissant
arm in single combat. It will more enoble you to fall
by his hand than a 1000 pyramids of Corinthin brass.
<S  SPEN>
Alas! sir it is among my virtues not to be dangerously
ambitious. Wherefore beseech him to confer this
honour on another both more desireous and worthy of it.
<S  DRU>
Come there is no trifling he is resolved you shall fight with
him.
<S  SPE>
By this light I never dared yet fight with anything
that had a tought in its head.
<S  LANS>
Hark he calls you come away
<S  SPEN>
O I beseech you gentlemen plead for me.
<S  DRU>
Give us our fees then and we will be your advocates
Jack scratch up thy nimble pericranium his gold
must make us eloquent.
<S  SPEN>
Here is for you and for you.
<S  LAN>
Is here all?
<S  SPEN>
No no there is a reserve behind to put in your hand whilst
you are pleading it will make you give more emphasis to
your words.
<S  LAN>
Content so we have it.
<S  DRU>
Now kneel a suppliant whilst we start up your
nimble-tongued orators.
<S  LAN>
Most illustrious lend I beseech you a favourable ear to the
pitiful oration I am about to make ((aside)) (my hand
is behind me why do you not put? I shall not be able to
speak another word else) this man whose virtues
accuses nature of cruelty for not furnishing him
with more lives than one having been so liberal as
hand why do not you! that which I am about to say will be
worth it and it will not out else) is an humble
petitioner to you for this one.
<S  LOS>
Reach me my shield I'll sacrifice him on that altar
of fortitude to the powerful god of war.
<S  SPEN>
Oh oh! Speak for me.
<S  LAN>
Nay it is your own fault you are so slow. How do you think
I should unless you? what 2? This makes amends
((he puts 2 pieces in his hand))
Stay mighty sir your puissant arm and take
not away that life which saved will bring so large
a portion of glory to you. For think I pray how
glorious it will be to see the green olive of clemency
florish among your victorious laurels. ((aside)) Again
again  I shall be out of breath else.
<S  DRU>
I must begin soon or this rogue will get all. Most
renown most refulgent most illustrious I see your
eyes and ears converted upon me your poor orator
(hist. This way) whom not my merits but the justness
of the cause I am to plead calls to this honourable bar.
<S  LAN>
Sirrah peace and let your betters be heard before you.
<S  DRU>
(Hinder me not varlet) for view this man view him
I say from the top to the bottom and you shall find in him
nothing but worthy love but worthy pity. His face where
nature hath treasured up all her riches will cry out of
you if you put him to death.
<S  SPEN>
Ay, by this light will it.
<S  DRU>
See his looks see his nose so richly embellished with glowing
rubies behold his cheeks hanging down like bags
of nectar mark all the other parts of his body and
hear them with a 1000 tongues telling you if you kill him you
destroy the most accomplished work of nature and do a
deed will blast all your glory and pull eternal
infamy on your head.
<S  LAN>
Peace thou impertinent thou obstreperous rascal
I will only speak and only be heard in this place.
<S  DRU>
in the court at the bar in your highness' presence. Curb
I beseech you his malpart tongue.
<S  LOS>
I charge you silence.
<S  LAN>
Pox of his rhetoric he will get all.
<S  DRU>
This trembling suppliant mighty sir as you may well
perceive is not descended of Cacus his race or the giant
brood against whom only your steel is pointed and your sword
hath an edge. But one of human birth whose death
if the thirst of blood move you to. His good education can
bring you to a place where you may extinguish it with
the richest wine Cicile can afford.
<S  SPEN>
I by this light can I am acquainted with all the
taverns in the town and know where the best Canary
is to be bought for money.
<S  LOS>
For this we grant thee thy life and make thee our
honourable prisoner. Thy ransom shall be paid in
wine. Sirrah bind you his hands, and do you beat
a dreadful march before us to give the world notice
of our victory whilst I walk in triumph through
the streets.
((exeunt))
((scene 6))
((enter Craft and Shift))
<S  CRAFT>
These picklocks will let you into the closet do not fail
at the time appointed to have all things in readiness
I will be at the window with Snap to receive them.
<S  SHI>
You know I am never negligent in these affairs give
but a whistle and I am for you.
<S  CRAFT>
Slid here comes Politico I will present you immediately.
((scene 7))
((enter Politico))
<S  POL>
Does not the earth bend under me? Is it able to sustain
such majesty? O it's proud to bear so great a monarch
see see it sends forth roses and violets to do me homage
and entice my stay. Where  ere I go my presence makes a
spring. Hark doth not each flower proclaim me more
necessary than the sun since at my absence without
a killing frost they will hang down their silken heads
and die though Sol's most cheering rays should force
fragrant roses blush that their sweets and beauty cannot
retain me, whilst lillies and violets grow pale
for grief that I will leave them. But I must haste to
my blessed kingdom where the Gods themselves shall
envy my happiness and wish to change states with me.
<S  CRAFT>
Stay mighty Oberon let not the pleasure of a kingdom
make you forget Justice which the Gods do often leave their
ambrosian fair to put in execution. Think it will
not be hereafter capital to wrong princes if Loserello
goes unpunished.
<S  POL>
Loserello! This name hath raised an anger in me able
to destroy whole nature and fright the world to Chaos.
Loserello! I would forgo my right to fairyland rather
than miss my revenge. O that he had as many lives as
hairs that my great anger might be satiated in killing him.
I'll to him instantly time runs on leaden
wheels till my revenge be perfect.
<S  CRAFT>
Sir this fairy shall conduct you to the userer's house where
Loserello will be within this hour.
<S  POL>
Tis too long to delay my fury but since it must be so I will
devise the while to be an age in killing him lead the
way.
<S  CRAFT>
You'll remember the time?
<S  SHI>
Fail not you and all is well.
<S  CRAFT>
Sir I'll go and make things ready for your journey to
fairyland against your return.
<S  POL>
Ay prithe do.
((exeunt))
((scene 8))
((enter Spendall and Loserello))
<S  LOS>
Three thousand art thou sure?
<S  SPE>
Ay three thousand I spoke with one that counted them.
His iron club neer fell to the ground but hundreds
lay sprawling under it like mice. Some without
arms or legs others without heads.
<S  LOS>
If my spell make me victorious Arthur
of Briton will be forgot and Guy of Warwick esteemed
a coward to me, everywhere there will be ballads
of my brave adventures. Dost think he is there
yet?
<S  SPE>
Too sure.
<S  LOS>
made him retire.
<S  SPE>
O no could that have done it. we had triumphed ere
this and public thanks had been paid us by the
citizens for their delivery.
<S  LOS>
Where lies he?
<S  SPE>
At Covet's a userer's 2 streets off.
<S  LOS>
Lead the way to him, he shall not outlive a
minute.
<S  SPE>
Pardon us mighty sir we are not weary of the
lives you gave us.
<S  LOS>
You rascal will you not? Refuse and thou visits
Pluto.
<S  SPE>
Oh sir!
((scene 9))
((enter Craft))
<S  CRAFT>
Health to the renown Loserello.
<S  LOS>
Art there Craft? I have thought minutes years till I
saw thee. By this light I have fought with neuer a giant
since thou left me but this and my very look
overcame him.
<S  SPE>
Indeed it did it was so like a vizard it scared me.
<S  CRAFT>
Mighty sir the public safety implores your puissant
arm to the conquest of a giant whom if your valour
doth not defeat, within this 2 hours will destroy
the whole town.
<S  LOS>
Craft here is my hand I'll do it. I prithe bring me
thither presently I shall grow rusty else for want of use I
have been like to mutiny two or 3 times within this quarter
of an hour because I had none to fight withal.
<S  CRAFT>
Sir you must to my grannam first.
<S  LOS>
What to do?
<S  CRAFT>
To fetch a magic sword the devil hath been making for
you this 3 days.
<S  LOS>
Tut I need none this and my spell is able to destroy an army
of giants all as great as Colburne.
<S  CRAFT>
Your spell will do much that will keep you from being hurt.
<S  LOS>
And I care for no more.
<S  CRAFT>
But armed sir with this enchanted steel you may meet
Mars in the field and make him cry quarter.
<S  LOS>
Well I'll go fetch it. Wilt thou go with me?
<S  CRAFT>
No I cannot my grannam hath sent me of an errand
for the devil I'll meet you at your return farewell.
((exit Losserello))
<S  CRAFT>
<S  SNAP>
Here here stand close I discover light.
((scene 10))
((enter shift with a))
((trunk under his arm and a))
((light in his hand))
<S  SHI>
The silver moon is down, and night as not willing to be
conscious to my theft hath shut up all her starry eyes and
closely bound them in with pitchy clouds whilst friendly Morpheus
as if he were to share in the booty hath liberally
dispensed his soporeferus wand and sprinkled Lethe's juice
over the sleeping eyebrows of all the family. Now
were my joys complete if Craft and Snap were at hand. I'll
whistle.
<S  SNAP>
Tis Shift. I hear his whistle. Let us to him.
<S  CRAFT>
Content.
<S  SHI>
Come lads here is an ample crop of golden corn.
Take this and this, here is all for which the userer hath
damned himself a 1000 times.
<S  SNAP>
For this I could adore thee.
<S  CRAFT>
We'll have thy statue made in gold and tell the world
it is Mercury.
<S  SNAP>
This shall make us see golden days.
<S  CRAFT>
We'll dance till we turn air.
<S  SHI>
Haste home with it and send Loserello presently to his
giant or I shall dance where I am loath in a rope at
the Gallace.
<S  SNAP>
He shall be with thee instantly.
((exeunt))
((act 5))
((scene 1))
((enter loserello with his lance-prosade))
((and drummer))
<S  LOS>
So with this I do defy the whole world. Mortals shall
fear no longer Jove's idle thunder but my frown, when
I but stamp frightened nature shall hide herself and the Gods
from their starry mansion looking down at the universal
disorder of things shall behold one that dare oppose
their Jove though armed with his best lightning. What is not
Craft here yet? How dares he thus forfeit his life by
making me expect?
<S  LAN>
He is arrived.
<S  CRAFT>
Illustrious sir write yourself in crimson characters of blood
it will be glorious to have your name blown by her trumpet
to the fairy region before you.
<S  LOS>
As thou tenderest mankind lead me to the giant for
a minute's delay will make me turn all to nothing
I shall demolish men women and children if I
fight not instantly.
<S  CRAFT>
Sir here is the house give us leave to be gone we dare
not view the combat.
((exuent))
<S  DRU>>
Pray sir let me go too the giant will scare me out of my
little wits.
<S  LOS>
Leave the drum and begone you coward you are not
fit for company for my valiant self. What are they all
gone. By this life I could find in my heart to be gone too I am
horribly afraid flesh will be flesh I cannot choose but tremble though I
should be hanged when I go to fight. For who knows but this giant
may be enchanted too and then we may fight our hearts out
and not hurt one another. Besides he may take me
prisoner and hang me. What a blockhead was I not to
accept the gallace. I think it is safest when all is
done to run away, but so I shall utterly lose my
hopes in fairyland King Oberon will never look at
me well when the worst comes to the worst he cannot
hurt me. I 'll venture to give an alarm.
((he beats the drum))
<S  POL>
Fairy look out. What is the matter?
<S  LOS>
Descend thou giant thou brood of Cacus and enter combat
with renown Loserello; this martial hand shall prove
thee a villan.
<S  SHI>
O it is my master you call upon he shall be with you
immediately. Sir here is Loserello come to fight with you.
<S  POL>
Look out again and see whether thou dost not discover
armed men with him.
<S  LOS>
Thou *terrae *filius wilt thou not obey my summons either
hide thyself in thy mother earth from my fury or this
powerful arm of mine shall cut thee into atoms and strew
her with them that she may be fertilized with thy viper blood
manner shall mow down. O my fury how it boils I'll
break this Poliphermian den and in and kill the
fearful monster.
<S  SHI>
Your grace hears what he says. He will break in
upon us.
<S  POL>
Give me my sword I come I come to send him to the
Sytgian lake there to be meat for furies.
<S  LOS>
He is coming. What a rogue was I to provoke him
thus? I could find in my heart to run away now.
((scene 2))
((enter politico))
<S  POL>
Thou hadst better have bestride a billow when the angry north
plows up the sea or made Jove's fire thy food than thus
have called an anger great as mine to thy destruction.
My eyes dart lightning and my full swollen rage like the
high wrought sea is ready to overwhelm thee with a
deluge of deaths.
<S  LOS>
By this light what will become of me. If I were not
enchanted what a pickle should I be in now? Well I
perceive thou art valiant I will not cut off so much
chivalry at a blow thou shall live and only be my prisoner
thou shalt efaith come I will use thee honourably.
<S  POL>
Villan. I will hew thee into as many parts as I have towns
in fairyland which I will cause to be hung up in them
an eternal monument of my justice on traitors.
<S  LOS>
Nay then I must fight though it be but for my haunches
Polipheme hear and tremble. With this dreadful steel
I will cut thee into collops and send them to the furies
for a breakfast.
<S  POL>
This this shall post thy black soul there to be whipped
with vipers by Thesophone.
((they fight, politico falls))
Oh I fall I fall. Brave Loserello take my sword and
let it be thy glory to have overcome in fight mighty
Politico. I'll pay my ransom a prince's ransom
a 1000 bushels of diamonds and pearls beside 1000000
acres in fairyland. I'll give thee a province to rule
in of such extent that Phoebus mounted in his flaming
chariot could neer orelook it and yet retain a kingdom
for myself.
I have a monstrous mind to kill him I neer killed anybody
in my life the boys will not think me valiant
else. Sirrah let me tie thy hands behind thee.
<S  POL>
I beseech you use me more nobly I am a royal prisoner
I am a king.
<S  LOS>
Thou art a giant.
<S  POL>
No I protest sir not I.
<S  LOS>
What darest thou lie in my presence? Give me your
hands presently or -
<S  POL>
O forever Phoebus dwell in Thetis' bosom. Let eternal
night inhabit here to cover my disgrace.
<S  LOS>
Come put thy head in.
<S  POL>
I beseech you sir.
<S  LOS>
Dare you rebel?
<S  POL>
Oh no.
<S  LOS>
I'll hang thee up immediately.
<S  POL>
Let me die a more noble death.
<S  LOS>
No it is more for my honour to hang thee.
<S  POL>
And must I then be hanged, O cursed fate!
<S  LOS>
Because thou art no giant I'll make thee stretch till
thou art one.
<S  POL>
Alas what a proper man is cast away.
<S  LOS>
Leave prating sirrah and bid adieu to the world for now
I hoist thee up.
<S  POL>
Oh hold let me have the right of the gallows and sing a
psalm before I die.
<S  LOS>
Thou shut, thou shut. I'll put thee to death legally.
<S  POL>
<S
Draw near good people all I say
And listen to my woe
That you may not become a prey
As I am to my foe.
I that of late was crowned king
And carried in great state
Must in a hempen halter swing
Repentence comes too late.
Farewell my crown and sceptor eke
Farewell my royal throne
For if Politico you seek
Woe is me he cannot come.
A hempen halter holds him in
Loserello hath decreed,
That he should dancing in a string
Be choaked with neck weed.
Ye fairies wheresoere you be
To see me post away
For if you haste not this is he
That straight your prince will slay.
My loving subjects every one
Take this my last command
To see me under a marble stone
Buried in fairyland.
At midnight for your food
You pinch Loserello to the bone
For sheding of my blood.
<S  SONG>
<S  LOS>
Thou rascal. Is it for this I have let thee live thus long? Thou
shalt not speak another word.
((enter snap))
<S  POL>
Oh oh!
<S  SNAP>
Stay the execution I command you in Oberon's name.
<S  POL>
A reprive a reprive.
<S  LOS>
Who art thou that dares hinder Justice?
<S  SNAP>
If you be the brave Loserello I summon you to the fairy court
there to be honoured by Oberon for the good service you
have done our state.
And this your prisoner whom I cite to the bar to answer
as a delinquent articles of high treason we charge him
with.
<S  LOS>
May not I hang him first?
<S  SNAP>
No it is Oberon's command he should be brought alive.
<S  LOS>
Let us march forward then.
<S  POL>
Alas what will become of me? This is out of the frying
pan into the fire.
((exeunt))
((scene 3))
((enter shift and covet))
<S  SHIFT>
Thieves, thieves, thieves.
<S  COVET>
Ha! what is the matter?
<S  SHI>
O sir the saddest night that ever came. Here hath been Spendall,
who hath brought a champion to encounter my master
the fight was terrible and doubtful victory with snowy wings
long hovered over the champions' heads. At last blind fortune
gave the palm to Loserello who having taken my master
prisoner fell to pillaging. He broke open a closet going into
the parlour.
<S  COVET>
My counting house O I am undone!
<S  SHI>
Whence he took a great bag with a trunk. They seemed weighty
I believe there was something in them.
<S  COVET>
Something? All that I have sweat for this 30 year. O
I am undone.
<S  SHI>
Alas sir!
<S  COVET>
I cannot outlive my grief.
<S  SHI>
Tis well.
((he finds a halter))
<S  COVET>
Have they left me this? This then shall witness I die for love
of the dear gold.
<S  SHI>
You'll not be just and hang yourself will you?
Let me alone and see.
<S  SHI>
Sir you shall command my helping hand to this good work
if you please.
<S  COV>
O it is the last office you can do a distressed man.
<S  SHI>
Come sir I'll put the rope about your neck. I am content to
pleasure so much your neighbours as to be your executioner.
<S  COVET>
Thanks gentle Shift.
<S  SHI>
They will thank me I am confident they love you so well. You
need not say your prayers it will be but time lost.
<S  COV>
Right right hoist me up when thou wilt.
<S  SHI>
Now then yet take this comfort before you die those that robbed
you are in hold and the money's safe in a justice's hand.
<S  COV>
Ha! This is a reprive these words make me live again, though
I had one foot in heaven I should step back to see my
beloved gold. Come Shift to the justice's with me minutes are
years till I recover my loss.
<S  SHI>
What a rogue was I to let him loose. Well I have a plot
in my head to make him hang himself when he hath not me to
help him. Come sir.
<S  COV>
I come i come the desire to see my gold will make me outstrip
eagles in their flight.
((scene 4))
((enter craft like))
((the king of fairies waited on by 4 peers))
<S  FAR1>
We are too soon, they are not yet arrived.
<S  CRA>
Tis no matter. We do not put on the habits of kings every day.
We'll practise till they come to behave ourselves with more
majesty. Each of you I hope knows my titles: mighty Oberon,
king of fairies, lord of the Antipodes and great Eutopia
have a care the profane name of Craft fall not from you.
Remember the congies and the distance ye must observe with
the other ceremonies I have spent 4 hours sweat to make
your plumbious intellects capable of.
<S  FAR2>
My stately king of pigmies, we know all *ad *unguem, that is
to a hair.
<S  CRA>
Bring the chair of state and keep the order I put you
in when we practised last.
((enter 2 fairies with loserello, politico and spendall))
<S  SNAP>
The court is sat his majesty is there. Dread liege your command
is performed.
<S  CRA>
Are they arrived?
<S  SANP>
They are.
<S  CRA>
Which is my friend Loserello?
<S  LOS>
Here and it please your majesty.
<S  CRA>
A man of a promising countenance and a back big enough
to bear all the fairy honours we can confer.
<S  SNAP>
Kneel down and present yourself his grace is almost in
love with you.
<S  LOS>
Illustrious Oberon though mortals dazzled with the fair splendour
of my virtues style me mighty style me renown Loserello
yet the highest honour my ambition soars to is to be counted
your vassal. This puissant arm which within this 3 hours hath
destroyed more giants and dragons than all the enchanted
knights from king Arthur's time upwards is only powerful
when it wields a sword in your quarrel. At your command mighty
prince it dare grapple with Jove though Mars did help him.
This pigmy giant which now you see here a trembling
suppliant (kneel sirrah) was once within this half hour 3 times as big as
Colburne. His head jostled with the stars and threatened the Gods with
a new war. His eyes were as big as bushels and he spit more
fire in a quarter of an hour than the burning drake
Sir Lancelot du lack fought with did in a year. His iron club was
not to be borne with 5000 oxen. Yet in less than an hour's
fight I made him stoop. Believe me sir at every
blow I cut off more superfluous flesh than would have made a 1000
lusty beef eaters. At last with often paring him I brought
him to this pass you see him in. Though before he was eleven
times higher than the element. Sirrah is not all
this true? Say no and I'll make thee no bigger than
a squirrel.
<S  POL>
O I dare not I confess he overcame me.
<S  LOS>
Ay and bravely did I not?
<S  CRA>
some part of the reward thy brave deeds have
merited.
((craft draws his sword))
<S  LOS>
Oh I beseech your majesty.
<S  CRA>
Come Loserello thou art modest. Do not refuse.
<S  LOS>
O pardon me sir I have not lived long enough the
destinies have decreed more giants shall fall by my hand
before I die.
<S  CRA>
Die Loserello? Thou shalt live and live till thy hairs
be silver and green again with laurels. Thy fair
virtues deserve it.
<S  LOS>
Put then up your dreadful steel it makes me tremble
more than mine did giants.
<S  CRA>
I must honour thee with it first.
((he knights him))
<S  LOS>
Oh oh!
<S  CRA>
Rise up Sir Loserello del fumo fairy knight of the
cornucopia bring out the habilliments of his order.
<S  LOS>
O was it to knight me I feared something else when
I saw the sword.
((a fairy brings in a pair of horns))
<S  CRA>
Before these sacred antlers touch thy brow swear to
be faithful.
<S  LOS>
I do mighty Oberon.
<S  CRA>
And not to hold anything terrene that may derogate
from the dignity we invest thee with.
<S  LOS>
No as I am a knight of the horns will I not.
<S  FAR1>
Of the cornucopia say.
<S  LOS>
O must they be called by that name. I'll remember it next
time. I have and it please your grace a little dirty earth
which in the lower region yields me a 1000 pounds a
year which I am resolved to shake off with my mortality
and give it to a fairy which for a favour I received
from her I believe your grace is acquainted with the devil
pray give him these writings to carry to his dame
the witch.
<S  CRA>
I will, and now I create thee earl of Eutopia general
of all my sea forces at the Antipodes give me
the antlers to fix them to his brow.
<S  LOS>
O how my joys do swell me. I shall burst.
<S  CRA>
Bring a chair Loserello sit down and bear a part
subdued. Barrister lay out your accustaion.
<S  BAR>
Politico! hold up thy hand at the bar, guilty or not
guilty?
<S  POL>
Not guilty.
<S  BAR>
Politico thou art a traitor a villan a rat of Nilus
and thus I prove it.
<S  LOS>
Ay marry is he tickle him up bravely and I would thou wert
hanged if thou be not spiteful.
<S  BAR>
Most illustrious and you reverend judges who has as many
eyes as silver hairs to discover treason open them
all I beseech you and view the most execrable traitor
the sun ere saw. This this is he for whose treason one
world is not sufficient for after he had subverted
the states of princes by his plots and
conspiracies in the lower region, dared (what dares
not traitors?) giant-like stretch out his hand against
the gods.
<S  LOS>
Nay I'll assure you he is a giant take him for what
you will.
<S  BAR>
Dared I say attempt the sacred person of our prince
and with damnable treason undermining our state
endeavour the blowing us up with our wives and children
into the moon that he with his viper brood might
come and inhabit our blessed region.
<S  POL>
Mighty prince and you my lords.
<S  BAR>
Peace traitor your lordships will find him very
impudent. But seeing this serpentine treason crushed in
the shell, prick up your ears I beseech you favourable
judges and listen to his second attempt far more enormous
than the former. For in this he plainly showed himself
a witch a necromancer a devil taking by art
magic the sacred person of mighty Oberon deluging many
of his honest subjects by this imposture O crime not
to be expiated by torments!
<S  POL>
Sirs I beseech you let me speak for myself.
<S  BAR>
This this my lords condemns him he would speak for
himself. This alone makes him guilty of treason. For
who knows not but he who would defend a traitor is guilty
thyself being a traitor wouldst defend a traitor. Therefore
thou art guilty of treason and deserves (as your
gravities reverend judges know) to die by all the racks wheels
brazen bulls can be invented or found out. View him now
conscripted fathers and tell me whether he looks not
like a traitor.
<S  LOS>
Ay by this light doth he.
<S  BAR>
Like a man made up of blood of murder of rapine
see see enraged fury sits in his forehead and marks
us out for slaughter. His eyes two firebrands already
menace destruction to this stately place, behold they
begin to spread abroad their flames his nose is afire
view how it glows. We shall be all burned if present
execution dispatch not the traitor.
<S  LOS>
Slid call for some water fling it upon him presently
to prevent the danger.
((scene 6))
((enter covet and shift))
<S  SHI>
That is he which sits by the justice with the ram's
horns.
<S  COV>
I'll attack him presently lest he escape. Gentlemen
room for the plaintiff.
<S  CRA>
What is the matter?
<S  COV>
I charge this man of felony, lay hold of him I
command you in the king's name.
<S  CRA>
What bold mortal is this that dares?
<S  COV>
Justice you are here to see the laws executed let this man
go at your peril.
<S  LOS>
Does he accuse me of felony? Give me room stand from
between us. I'll toss him.
<S  CRA>
Hold mighty Loserello somebody lay hold of the madman.
<S  COV>
You'll make me mad if you use me thus, my house
broke open and the malefactor -
<S  FAR 1>
Sir where are you?
<S  COV>
Where the laws should be put in execution against the
uses. But it seems Mr Justice is a sharer in the booty.
Well I'll go to higher powers I'll make him answer it
at the sessions.
<S  FAR1>
This fellow talks strangely. Do you know where you
are?
<S  COV>
No where am I?
<S  FAR1>
In the fairy court in the presence of Oberon whom
<S  COV>
O my stars! What devil hath brought me hither? Let
me go home and die in peace.
<S  FAR1>
No sir you must be pinched to death by fairy elves for your
rudeness shown in court.
<S  COV>
O cursed Shift where hast thou brought me!
<S  CRA>
Pull out his tongue. Is he not yet silent?
<S  FAR1>
Not a syllable or -
<S  CRA>
My lords your wisdoms are by this sufficiently informed
of the enormity of this malefactor's crime.
Proceed to sentence let everyone deliver a part that
we may find out some exquisite torment to kill him by.
<S  FAR1>
Hang him.
<S  FAR2>
It's too slight a torment.
<S  FAR3>
Burn him.
<S  FAR4>
It will dispatch him too soon we must be an age in killing
him.
<S  FAR5>
Flay him.
<S  FAR1>
That is too common a death.
<S  FAR2>
What think you of cutting off his legs and making him
ride the brazen bull?
<S  FAR3>
It's not in fashion.
<S  LOS>
Cut a hole in one leg and put the other through it
and make him dance Caranto through fairyland.
<S  FAR4>
That is most dreadful.
<S  LOS>
If it be not too great a punishment let me be his executioner
I'll toss him to death on my brow antlers.
<S  CRA>
Politico thou deservest greater torments than are yet
named. But I'll be merciful thou shalt buy thy life for a
sum of ready money.
<S  POL>
Illustrious Oberon my whole estate were it as great
as yours would be too little to redeem me from the
torments they have named.
<S  CRA>
I'll be content with a 1000 or so paid ready down.
<S  POL>
Your majesty shall have 5 it was the whole sum
I received for my land I lately sold.
<S  FAR3>
What made you sell your land senior?
<S  FAR4>
O sir he intended to give a treat to the fairy elves
at his entrance to Oberon's throne.
<S  POL>
Do not ripe up old wounds I intended to do something.
<S  CRA>
your house he shall fetch it. Give him your keys with
a direction where to find it.
<S  POL>
In a closet going out of the hall you shall find a little
trunk, the heaviness will tell you it is frought with gold.
<S  SPE>
Illustrious Oberon before this honourable assembly rise i
beg justice against this userer who hath not only
affronted your noble friend Loserello accusing him of
felony but also doth most injuriously detain monies due
to me for land he bought.
<S  CRA>
Officers proceed to justice. Covet hold up thy hand at
the bar.
<S  SHI>
Sir he begs the mercy of the court. That he may have
leave to go home and hang himself.
<S  CRA>
He shall after we have done with him.
<S  BAR>
Answer. Guilty or not guilty?
<S  COV>
Not guilty.
<S  CRA>
Call in the elves pinch him till he confess.
((enter elves))
<S  ELV>
Ti ti ta ti.
<S  COV>
Oh ho guilty guilty.
<S  CRA>
Where are the writings?
<S  COV>
I know not.
<S  CRA>
Will he not confess? Pinch him again.
<S  ELV>
Ti ti ta ti ti.
<S  COV>
In my bosom, in my bosom.
<S  CRA>
Pull then out.
<S  COV>
I shall pull out my heart then they are fastened to it.
<S  CRA>
It's no matter. Out with them.
(( covet pulls them out))
Spendall take the writings. Recorer fine him 6000
pounds for the insolences he hath shown in court.
<S  COV>
I'll die first.
<S  CRA>
Pinch him to death elves.
<S  ELV>
Ta ti ti ta ti ti.
((they pinch him))
<S  COV>
Oh oh I will I will.
<S  CRA>
Bring pen and ink immediately that he may put his
hand and seal to these writings that shall oblige him to
the payment of the monies. Recorder see it done. Crier
in the meanwhile proclaim our ordinance for
the purchasing of lands.
<S  CRY>
O yes! O yes! O yes! any man or woman that weary of
mortality would transplant themselves into great Oberon's
100 pounds paid down they shall have a 1000 pounds
a year entailed upon them and their heirs
forever in fairyland.
<S  CRA>
What none appear?
<S  SHI>
Yes your majesty hath a chapman Spendall will
purchase.
<S  CRA>
Hast thou a mind to leave this foggy climate and inhabit
the fortunate islands where plenty hath laid up all
her store which to this lower world she hands out
in parcels. Speak.
<S  SPE>
And it please your grace there is but one difficulty holds me
back.
<S  CRA>
What is that?
<S  SPE>
Is there the life of man there? Is there sack? If this be
wanting though all things else conspire to make the place
happy it will afford me but a wretched banishment.
<S  CRA>
The richest wines of Greece are water compared with the
divine liquor this place affords. It is the vineyard of the
gods each tree is frought with nectar which Ganemede doth
gather in full bowls for Jove's own drinking. There is not
a spring but pours forth wine poor mortals here would
give their lives to taste.
<S  SPE>
Mighty Oberon not stored with monies take these writings
in this lower region they are worth thousands containing
the right to a Lordship as great and rich as any is in Sicily.
<S  CRA>
Content we take them. Secretary give him a bill to receive
10000 pounds a year in fairyland.
<S  FAR2>
Sir the fairy hath brought the trunk with Politico's gold.
<S  CRA>
Treasurer let it be your charge to see it safe. Are the
userer's writings made and signed?
<S  FAR4>
They are with much ado he swooned twice whislt he
writ his name and sealed them.
<S  CRA>
Alas! I'll comfort him again presently. My lords it
becomes my greatness to be magnificent. Wherefor lest
these mortals should repine at their transitory losses. First
on Covet I confer 100000 pounds a year with the title
of Lord chief justice of fairyland.
<S  COV>
my grave if I were buried. I find their force already.
Their very sound hath inspired a sprightly vigor through
my whole body. I feel youthful blood dancing a sprightly
measure through my weathered veins, which age
and labour had dried up. I am young again. O great Oberon
what thanks are due? Am I the first that shall
write noble of my family? Shall the Autumn of my age
prove a flourishing spring of glory to my race? O I am
ravished out of myself!
<S  CRA>
Covet lord chief justice of fairyland take your place in
court.
<S  LOS>
Not before me you Jew! Unless you will taste my fatal steel.
<S  COV>
Keep the peace and offer not violence to a man of honour
his majesty's privy councillor, lest the cold hand of justice
seize upon you.
<S  LOS>
Stand not before me then.
<S  CRA>
You Spendall for your love to sack we create you lord
of all our Canary Islands take your place in court now
my lords I hope there is not a mortal present but
hath partaken of my bounty.
<S  POL>
Except Politico whose pardon will make him forever
proclaim your clemency.
<S  CRA>
And thou Politico shall not complain of my liberality.
I'll satisfy the height of thy desire and what treason
could not bring thee to my bounty shall confer upon thee.
Come set thee then upon my throne
I do invest thee Oberon.
On thy head I put my crown,
On thy back my purple gown,
Whilst myself I do become
Honest Craft, not Oberon. ha ha ha!
<S  POL>
Ha!
<S  SPE>
Thus cosened?
<S  COV>
Do I dream?
<S  LOS>
All my honours drop off on a sudden?
<S  CRA>
Nay wonder not fairy lords. You see Oberon that was. You see
Oberon that is. Go ye with him to your hopes in fairyland. I'll be
content to make my fortunes here, which will be complete if
Sirs your smile and pardon for this long trial of your
patience approve the grtting.
((exit craft *cum *sociis))
<S  COV>
O let me die in this golden dream!
Am I thus gulled, cheated both of my monies and honours?
I'll mount a turn-up cart and preach till the end of the
world.
<S  LOS>
O this cursed Craft! I begin to doubt my enchantment.
Come follow I'll lead you to your revenge.
<S  SPE>
Come away.
<S  POL>
Covet is in a swoon.
<S  SPE>
Wake him.
<S  COV>
No let me die that my ghost may haunt him everlastingly.
<S  SPE>
Come get up let us pursue revenge whilst anger swells our veins.
<S  COV>
I come I come this word revenge hath made me strong as
Hercules. O revenge!
((exeunt omnes))
((epilogue))
Let Poits, sir, to Apollo's wreath aspire
And be accounted of the muses' quire.
Our aim is at your smile if you but say
Faults merit pardon when as children play.
We have our end and think it greater praise
Than if the muses nine should bring us bays.
No critic's censure we'll regard if you
Approve our play to whom tis only due.
****